#lol I fucking love ikea so fucking much did you guys know this about me

[scoobit9]

Afton and Aftonsparv

[mikuni14]

Jack & Joker - Ep 10

What an emotional and eventful episode✨

Of course I can't help but start with their 🔥 scene. Everything was very beautifully shot, visually and colorfully a bit like old Hong Kong movies, full of half-tones, very lovely. Yin and War delivered, but no surpise here, it's them. I really liked how they were together in this scene, a very pleasant reference to MaxTul, those muscles, sounds, smacking on naked body, grabbing it, passion and desire at the highest levels, but lined with playfulness, carefreeness, love 😏 In both couples we can see what I always appreciate very much, that is, their naturalness and that as a viewer I have no doubts that these characters played by these actors are super horny for their lovers 😤 Special mention of the Ikea clothes rack, because I recently assembled exactly that type, so I kind of relate, cue Di Caprio pointing at tv meme lol. (hot muscle daddies who push themselves into it for my entertainment were not included in my clothes rack set, I think I'll file a complaint).

The scene with Joke's father: siiiiiiiiigh but yeah, sadly I expected this, I also expected to hear: "we actually love you and miss you / but why didn't you visit us, we were waiting for you god you screwed up again". I don't know how you can go from "he's not my son" and "a thief is always a thief" to "come home for dinner", but what do I know, right? I was prepared for this, I still hate it.

The constant references to death, the repeated words about farewell, about forgiveness, returning as a ghost 😬, don't fill me with any particular optimism. I'm 99% certain of a happy ending, but… I am starting to worry a little. There is also an option that in the finale we will have a time skip 🙄 due to Joke, Jack, or both of them being in prison.

I also watch with neverending sadness Joke's low self-esteem and how he thinks that he doesn't deserve anything good, and how easily he is able to throw away his happiness, ruin his future.

As a big fan of communication between characters, between lovers, I have a "I told you so" moment that doesn't give me any satisfaction tho, it's just too sad. Because technically, objectively, almost everything actually is Joke's fault (I know that Boss is first and mainly to blame) and he constantly does things behind Jack's back - with the best and purest intentions - but still. He keeps throwing himself into situations, sacrificing himself completely, just to help Jack, but in reality… well. He only gets him more into trouble every time. Joke never asks Jack if he wants his "help", he just decides for him. Besides, Jack clearly told him not to try to help him anymore. I wholeheartedly support them, but looking from the outside, this is not a healthy relationship, in which there is so little honesty, trust and communication. And in which one has clear, unaddressed tendencies towards self-destruction, not taking into account his health, life, or even the possibility of being in prison again.

Save and attempts to whitewash him "because he's stuck too" and "there's no other way for him" irritate me. Oh he's sorry? He's sad? Well, his victims don't even have that luxury, because they're dead. Save didn't even try to soften what he's doing, trying to help somehow, warn Boss's victims, he just did what he was told without hesitation and on top of that showed unnecessary overzealousness. I don't want to hear that he's "like the others" because he actively works for Boss without even trying to mitigate the evil he's doing. Sorry, but fuck this guy.

I've seen emerging controversies related to trans characters, who seem to be treated worse in J&J. Please remember that during the first ring heist, in the same ep Noo Lek was treated badly and a male model was also attacked and beaten, who was completely innocent, who earns money for a living with his face and his body, so this beating was doubly bad. And regarding Jennie's character being thrown from a height: in the same episode, a literal child was also thrown from a height (and survied because of the plot armor, let's be honest). I know it seems like trans people are treated worse, but in this show, something bad happens to someone all the time, people are hounded, beaten, tortured, attacked, poisoned, exploited, cheated, forced to sell their body parts (!) and no one is spared, including children and the elderly. I think we noticed what seems like a pattern because there are simply more of trans / non binary people than in other series, and they are just as much victims of the system.

........

So a lot happened, I'm starting to worry a little about the ending, so I'll go back to my favorite moment in this episode: Jack grabbing Joke by the chin and guiding him to a kiss and then pinning his hand 🔥

[moon-alight]

Hi can I request a K (&team) headcanon when you guys move into youre own appartment and how Would Living with him be like thank you So much ♤♡

Hey! I'll only do the Hyung Line for this one since I cannot imagine the maknae line moving in with someone lol

Masterlist

&Team Hyung-Line moving in with their s/o

Warnings: one mention of sexual intercourse (only slightly), fluff

Word Count: 706

-K

-Moving in meant some organizing and he did not count on that many clothes coming from you

-Honestly, he was prepared to give you half his closet space but it was clear you needed more so he bought a new closet to store your stuff in

-He often comes home from work at unholy hours like 3 AM or 4 AM and if he sees you on the couch, he both melts as well as gets incredibly annoyed at you

-When you wake up he would say things like "You know the couch isn't comfortable enough to sleep on" or "don't stay up for me, it is not good for you."

-Cares about you a lot but this also means you argue sometimes about the stupidest things

-He just wants you to be safe and happy and you're fed up because he always tries to tell you how you should do things

-You work it out quickly though

-He likes to order food to the house whenever he is not home just so you know he thinks about you

-Will die whenever you cook for him (this man already bought a ring lol)

-Enjoys being able to hold you every night and tell you about his day even though you're already asleep because he came home at 5 AM

-Fuma

-On one hand he is very happy about you moving in with him, on the other hand he is afraid that he's rushing things (so assure him a lot)

-I am a sole believer Fuma is the cleanest from all the &Team members which is why he has organized e-very-thing!

-He even made space on the bed for your stuffed animals (which he finds oh so adorable) and even gave you a welcome home present

-Loves shopping with you for small things to add to your home like plants or plates that are pretty or maybe even a random duck which you put on the fireplace

-He is the one that constantly back-hugs you everywhere around the house.

-Also the one to have fucked you on every surface in the damn house

-Enjoys cleaning days because you're both just annoying one another with bubbles (which is also why he loves doing the dishes together)

-Definetely has one of those doormats outside which says 'home sweet home'

-If ya'll had a dog it would say 'bone sweet bone'

-Just the cutest lol

-Nicholas

-The menace of the &Team hyung line members

-Would love to watch horror movies together now that you live in the same house and purposely make you scared so you cuddle up to him more.

-Loves it when he wakes up in your shared bed knowing he can wake up like that forever.

-He was also the one to suggest you two live together in the first place.

-Whenever something breaks and need fixing he tells you not to call the plumber/mechanic/electrician but he can do it himself instead

-Cue to him getting electrocuted and you calling the electrician anyway

-He's very sulky after that but just ignore him

-He would also suggest drinking nights or game nights which involve drinking just so you can spend the next day together hungover

-It is never boring with him but please prevent him from doing shit himself because he will get hurt

-EJ

-So, so, so excited to finally be able to live with you together

-Takes you to IKEA to buy new furniture and makes you choose whatever you want because he trusts your taste in interior design

-You build the furniture together and absolutely get into countless arguments because of it

-You always make up though and whenever the furniture is done and completely put together, you celebrate with your favorite food.

-Also has a doormat but his one says 'Enter the Upside Down'

-Loves to decorate for halloween or christmas and definitely scares children when it's trick or treat

-He is the second cleanest on my list so expect him to always make sure the sheets on the bed, the dishes and the floor are clean

-Enjoys buying small things for the house with you and has an entire fridge filled with magnets from places he has visited on tour

[burntheworldtwice]

Live Thoughts on The Last Voyage of Demeter (Spoilers)

So I know very little of this movie outside the plot. I know it is much anticipated. Reviews are decent. But I didn't want some critic tainting my opinion you know? So I smoked a bowl, made a broke girls charcuterie, and am diving in.

-First of all who doesn't love a good Dracula tale?

-This is moody. Love that. Definitely recommend being in the dark by a fire if possible. its giving Victorian child and I personally am a victorian child so this is just swell

-I wish we still rode horses. Its a power move. Cop pulls up in a car ugh boring cop GALLOPS up on a horse. Mad respect.

-OMG its the guy who went after Oppenheimer for that shit senator. What's his name......David Dastmalchian. Im sorry hold the phone. DASTMALCHIAN is his dad Machiavelli. I'll be honest y'all im not a fan of his face. He looks weasly and honestly a bit threatening but that may just be the roles I've seen.

-Corey Hawkins out here showing LOOKS. Saving LIVES. CHILD LIVES. What. A. Gem.

-Whats in the box? WHATS in the box? WHATS IN THE BOOOOOX?!

-Why must children be so enthusiastic? So young and full of hope. Even on a fucking Russian ship in the 19th century.

-This cheese is really fucking good.

-Awe isn't this cute. "Crew in high spirits". Dancing around and shit. Did you know that many sailors were gay and that's why everyone thinks the Navy is a bunch of pussies. The more you know :)

-Is that Aaron Paul? LOL

-This really is pretty I must say. And the use of sound is just **Chefs kiss** I love when a movie employs sound as a means of expression.

-She needs a transfusion who's fucking blood is heh using is that his blood? The count is awake! yipeeee.

-I really need to watch some BTS for this. A lot of CGI and sets. Like did they do it Life of Pie style. I'll have to goole that..

-Ruh row. Bats outta the cage. NOT THE FUCKING DOG WHYYYYY KILL THE KID. Ugh why is it always the dog :((((

-HUUUCCKKKK

-Rabies? Men are so simple minded.

-Damn Drac is not looking good. Like worse than Voldy pre cauldron sesh.

-This kid is really taking on some emotional trauma. And little Woody Newman is just a cutie. He reminds of Gavauche (idk if that's spelled right) in Les Mis.

-"A boat without rats such is a thing against nature." That's a tattoo right thurr

-I am LOOOOVING the horror. The gore is so well done. Beautiful like Saving Private Ryan... If youre into blood..

-I could listen to Liam Cunningham read a Ikea instructions manual.

-I don't know if its intentional or not but I can't figure out the timeline of this movie. They mention a cove and it being over two weeks to England. But I can't tell how the time is passing. Could also be high but hey who knows.

-I know Rotten Tomatoes poopood this but I'm having fun and Draculas a dick lmao mimicking his victims. Damn bitch. Oh good strings. I love a good horror

-Why do we find it so hard to believe in things we can't understand? I realize the human brain seeks answers and solutions rather than more questions, but what if the answers and solutions are right there we just refuse to believe it?

-LMAO "I have a very important job for. you Toby. It's a lot to take on, can you handle it?" Hands over a spyglass. "Will you shine my shit for me dude?" I was talking to my wife about this but like I don't remember ever being this curious as a kid. Like demons on board? Nah Im staying in my room. Meanwhile this kid just wandering around the belly of ship.

-RUN TOBY RUN

-He got a knife. Tough kid here.

-Wow he's going full Jack Torrance with the door here. But who needs an axe when you have your face???

-NOT TOBY. Like I know everyone dies and all but damn. Also can Dracula apparate. Or is it like AS IF YOU COULD OUT RUN ME. Im a little behind on my Dracula lore. Oh he might live with these backwoods infusions.

-Okay I just haven't paid attention on the captains log. My B.

-Olgarin was bit... and infected? But Anne and Toby were fed on... and aren't? I'm going to have to think about that. Going up in flames was a fun drama though!

-I feel like maybe don't open the spooky box. And this man just rowing out to sea blindly believing in his faith. Did the Prince of Darkness fly out there? or. Yep. He a winged mother fucker.

-I like Dracula just whispering sweet nothings before he feeds.

-Are his burns not fucking horrifically painful? Im in pain looking at him. I know burns and that shit sucks for forever.

-Can Dracula manipulate the weather? I feel like I really need to brush up on my Dracula now. Foggy as hell. Dracula knew yawls plan come on.

-Women always out here making the greatest sacrifices.

-Why is Dracula synonymous with the devil? I like to think of Dracula like Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

-THe smothering with the wings was like kinda dope. Won't lie.

-I'm so glad they're trauma bonded now.

-I think I would of made a great light house keeper. Chill up in the rain by a fire. Watch the ships. Ambient lighting. My kinda gig to be frank.

-That ending sunrise. Wow. Almost poetic.

-NONONONONOOOO please tell me there's not going to be a sequel. Please dear god just let it end.

-Fuck.

[soulwillower]

semi-charming •  bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested:  Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :)    +      AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH     +     don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh  !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au, 

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional. 

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that. 

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake. 

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise. 

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door. 

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes. 

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either. 

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music." 

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off." 

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation. 

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding. 

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give. 

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in." 

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it. 

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him. 

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?" 

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms. 

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?" 

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person. 

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst. 

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg. 

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall. 

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!" 

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him. 

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either. 

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts. 

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet. 

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack." 

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf. 

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot. 

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you. 

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip. 

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane.  "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly. 

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth. 

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away. 

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid. 

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh. 

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from. 

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done." 

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated." 

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly. 

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are,  i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk. 

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out. 

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you. 

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you. 

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own.  "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving? 

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants. 

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes. 

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down. 

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate. 

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once. 

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure. 

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?" 

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to." 

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock. 

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back. 

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly. 

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan. 

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums. 

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out. 

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce. 

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building. 

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours. 

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

 "you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to. 

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already. 

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple. 

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours. 

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close. 

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters. 

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall. 

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous. 

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease. 

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him. 

tag list:  @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier  @sft-core @clownsloveyou  @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie  @decafcoffeew

[jinxxedwammys]

In celebration of 100 followers I present to you

Wammy boys in oddly specific AUs I found on pinterest and stuff.

Warnings: Swearing (mostly in Mello’s part as usual lol)

L

"I mistook you for my best friend and jumped on your back in public and now I'm embarrassed"

🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂

It was during the Kira case when L was closely investigating Light Yagami at To-Oh University that this extremely awkward encounter occurred. The sun was high in the sky, locusts and could be heard and cherry blossom littered the wide walkway leading into the school.

You had your heavy bag slung across your shoulders. It was filled with textbooks and papers (some of which you had forgotten to turn in) as well as a few personal items. You weren't really paying much attention to your surroundings until you spotted one of your male friends!

You hadn't seen him since the beginning of high-school. To say you were excited was an understatement. In your excitement you took a running jump onto his back knocking him to the ground. He let out a yelp and that was when you realized...

This man was NOT your friend.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry I thought you were someone else" you hurriedly said pushing yourself up and on your knees an apparent redness in your face.

He seemed to be unbothered for the most part, he turned to you, crouching in a sort of fetal position.

"It's alright I understand" He replied.

"No, no its not.. I'm an idiot I should have realized" you shoved your face into your hands covering how red your face now was.

"It is alright, I'm uninjured and it was an honest mistake" you frowned a little not entirely trusting his forgiveness, but this time, you took it.

He gave you a polite smile before standing up and helping you to your feet. He wished you a good day, and left, but not before sneaking a note containing his alias and phone number.

Mello

"I lost my little sibling Matt in Ikea and I need your help finding them"

🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

"Fuck.... Shit... Motherfucker" You heard from the other side of the store shelf as you browsed through various decor items. This mystery person had been spewing profanities for the past five minutes. You sighed with slight annoyance placing the wooden model hand you had been staring at for God knows how long back, making your way to the neighboring isle.

"Hey, you've been cursing up a storm... what's going on?" You asked, hand on your hip awaiting a response. Mello looked up at you with a look of anger and exhaustion on his face.

"I'm looking for my idiot friend. He got hopelessly lost in the chair section and I've been trying to find him for like an hour now" He ran a hand through his hair pushing his bangs to the sides of his face.

"I can help you look for him!" You offered.

"You don't have to"

"I want to! I don't really have anything else to do, so it's fine. To be completely honest I don't know why I came here." He shrugged. "Oh my name's Y/N by the way"

"I'm Mello" He replied before setting off out of the isle leaving you to sprint a but to catch up. His pace was fast and he seemed to have some plan on how to tackle this, but you weren't exactly sure.

After what seemed like an eternity of silently weaving through the labyrinth of shelves and furniture displays, you spoke up.

"So... how old is your friend?"

"We're both 19... His name is Matt." You kept walking until he stopped directly in front of the office showroom section.

"He might be here, so keep an eye out for a tall brunette idiot with goggles." You nodded keeping close to Mello. Again you snaked through isles. Eventually your search devolved into looking into cabinets, drawers, anything that would open, but to no avail.

"Where the fuck is he?" Mello said under his breath as he slammed shut another cabinet.

That was when a tall brunette wearing goggles walked by dual wielding hotdogs... You sighed heavily before approaching Matt.

"Matt?" You called out gaining the attention of both Matt and Mello. Mello stood beside you before going on to scold his friend almost as if he were an unruly child.

"Sorry about that I hope looking for him wasn't that unbearable... would you like to meet up sometime again in the future?" Mello asked. You nodded in response.

"I'd love to! This was quite fun actually. Though let's not go to an ikea next time."

Near

"We both like walking In the park at night and I think you're a stalker so I accidentally attack you"

🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖

It was 2am, the night was calm yet you were restless nothing you tried allowed you to fall asleep. It was like this most nights. You would then go to the park near your house to get some fresh air and tire yourself out... and on a night like this, that seemed like a perfect idea. You didn't even change out of your pajamas before you left. As you entered the park, you felt... odd. As if someone was watching you and sure enough, as you turned your head to look behind you you saw a man following about two yards behind you.

Naturally your thoughts went wild with what ifs and possible escape plans. Yet you calmed your mind opting to check if this guy was really following you. With every corner you turned your heart sank. Panic started to set in and you rushed to get together an improvised weapon.... Your housekey! You gripped it tightly in your hand as if it were a knife and swiftly approached the man going to jab him in the eye, yet he caught your arm with ease, turning it behind you and pushing you to the ground, similarly to how a police officer would apprehend a resistant assailant.

"Why did you attack me" he questioned, plopping down just above your hips.

"Let me go, stalker!!!" You yelled at him thrashing around attempting to escape his grasp.

"What are you talking about? I'm not stalking you." He calmly said.

"That's exactly what a stalker would say! Let me go!" He sighed lifting himself off of you and crouching beside you. You rolled over and sat with your legs crossed.

"I swear to you, I was only out for a walk. I take nighttime walks sometimes, though this was the first time I've been in this park."

"Then how come every time I turned you followed?"

"I did? I'm sorry, I didn't even realize" He stated plainly. You sighed he seemed truthful.

"Fine... I'm sorry too, I probably shouldn't have assumed you were a stalker or something and attacked you" you admitted. He shook his head.

"It's alright, I understand... I can be scary" you snorted and laughed. The light of the nearby streetlamp lit his features. A frail, sweet looking man with long white hair who seemed to be somewhat reserved. You felt a little silly that you thought someone like him would hurt you much.

"You're not scary... In all honesty you're quite cute!" You admitted, reaching out a finger to poke his nose.

"Thanks, you're actually quite cute as well, maybe we could meet up here in the morning?" He suggested.

Matt

"I come here when I want to be alone and I didn't think anyone knew about it so where the hell did you come from"

🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮

This day was aweful. Work was extremely stressful. Your coworker put important documents in the shreader for the 10th time that week and you were the one tasked with rewriting, tracking down, requesting new copies and piecing together ones that couldn't be recovered otherwise. And of course your boss made every minute of it a nightmare. So after work, you drove to your favorite place. An abandoned warehouse off the highway about 5 minutes from your house.

It was virtually untouched by people now that the walls were covered in graffiti and the place had been ransacked for leftover valuable items. You made your way inside noticing something was off... there was a leather couch that wasn't yours, a coffee table... even a TV and game console plugged into a power supply, another handheld game on the coffee table next to an ashtray with a few cigarette butts, one of which was still smoking.

You were beyond confused. From the last time you were here someone had basically moved in... it had only been a week since you last came here. You warily approached the couch. Well... whoever left it here probably won't mind! you thought I just hope they didn't sabotage it or something. You then sat down noting that it was a perfectly normal couch and you were just paranoid.

That was when a guy came in, he was tall and lenky, had brown hair and was dressed in a striped shirt, a frankly hideous vest with fur lining, black pants and goggles atop his head. He had been holding a can of coke and a cigarette, yet those were both dropped as he saw you.

"Who are you?" He half shrieked.

"Who are YOU? You yelled back.

"I asked first!"

"My name is Y/N.. I come here all the time when I'm stressed and want to be alone I didn't think anyone else knew about it"

"S..Same but.. I come here to get away from a friend of mine... he can be quite aggressive and it's scary" He sat down beside you picking up his handheld game. "Oh and my name is Matt!"

"Hmm.. then let's share this space from now on, Matt!" He nodded in agreement.

"Yea! I hope we meet again soon"

Beyond Birthday

"We live in the same apartment complex and I accidentally leave my laundry in the washer for a minute too long and you decide to take out all my wet clothes to put yours in just as I walk in"

🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪

It was late night. You had been putting off laundry for the past week, but now you were down to a pair of underwear and your nightgown, so you had to do your wash.. you reluctantly gathered your clothes and made your way to the communal washer and dryer. You threw your clothes in and put a coin in the coinslot then set the washer to start.

You sighed and made your way back to your room to relax a little while your clothes were still washing. It had been about two hours and your laundry was probably done. The timer you had set went off and you gathered yourself and brought the remainder of your clothes as well as your box of dryer sheets.

The moment you walked in your eyes widened in horror. Some odd man sat frantically pulling your clothes out of the washer onto the dirty floor.

"What the hell are you doing??!!" You yelled rushing over to stop him. He peered up at you from his crouching position.

"You left your clothes in too long, its my turn now" You blinked

"Only for a few minutes... it just got done less than 5 minutes ago.. now my clothes are all dirty again.. damn it"

"Sorry" He said. His beady eyes were wide and innocent looking. "I'll let you do yours again... I'll pay" He said before shoving yours back in and starting it again.

When that was done he pulled a jam jar out of seemingly nowhere and perched on top of the washer dipping his hand inside the jar and licking his fingers clean of jam. It was disgusting... But you decided to not pay any more attention to it than you had to.

The rest of the time you spent with him was in silence, all you heard was the washer and his lip-smacking. When the washer finished you silently transferred your clothes to the dryer.. this time without your oddball fellow tenant interfering much. Though when he got his own clothes in he did crawl away which freaked you out.

[keanureevesisbae]

sugar sugar - the wedding

Summary: It's Becky and Henry's wedding day 🥰

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Daddy kink, anal play, sex, mention of squirting, overstimulation (just what they usually do lol)

Wordcount: 2.4k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter //

Today is the day. Henry is gonna marry the love of his life. When he kissed her for a short goodbye this morning, he was dragged away by Gino and Peter, who were gonna help him get ready.

Since Becky couldn’t decide who she wanted to be her maid of honor, both of her friends stepped up to the task, which caused Gino and Peter to share the duties of best men as well. He is standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for her to enter. He exchanges a look with Sehun, with whom he became good friends. He loves seeing Becky and her dad reconnect and she actually calls him a lot, even for tasks Henry himself can fix.

For example helping her with building a cabinet or something else she bought from Ikea. Normally she’d turn to Henry, but now she is quick to ask her dad for help and orders Henry , in case her dad asks, to pretend he is too busy with work to help her out.

The two of them are actively working on their bond and it warms his heart to see Becky hug her dad tightly, have their own little inside jokes and simply have the father-daughter relationship she always wanted.

The music changes and Henry looks up from Sehun, only to see Becky in her wedding dress. To describe her as breathtakingly perfect is not even enough. Her long black locks are slightly curled at the bottom of the strands, the dress hugs her in all the right places and the soft smile toying on her lips is enough to make him feel all sorts of things.

To make sure Genevieve wouldn’t nag his head off, he promised her that he would be slightly emotional when Becky would walk down the aisle, however now that she actually is walking towards him, the tears burn in his eyes. He feels the hot tear rolling over his cheek and he is quick to wipe it away.

She holds out her hand and he is quick to take it, helping her up the tiny stairs. ‘Wow,’ he says, ‘you’re gorgeous.’

‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘You look so handsome.’ She places her hand on his chest and smiles. ‘I love you,’ she mouths towards him.

‘I love you too.’

The two of them (and Genevieve) decided that the speech shouldn’t be too long, mostly because Becky said that she hates long speeches that seemed to never end. Henry barely listens anyway, because he is too enthralled, looking at his soon to be wife.

He sure is lucky.

When it’s time for the vows, Becky folds open her paper. She clears her throat a few times, looking up at him.

Oh, look at that, she’s nervous. Henry nods, a simple gesture to encourage her.

‘Growing up,’ she then says, ‘I missed out on a lot and though the dreams of meeting someone, get married and start a life together were what kept me going at the time, deep down I kinda knew it would never happen to me. No love, no care, no someone who would unconditionally show me what affection exactly entailed. Never in a million years did I think I would meet a guy like you.’

Henry squeezes in her hand as he notices the tears burning in her eyes.

‘You’re everything I ever wished for and even more than that. Henry, I know I tell you this a lot, but… Thank you for barging into my life, for completely changing it, for helping me to become a better version of myself, for believing in me and for always loving me. I don’t think I could say that I would be where I am now if it weren’t for you. I love you.’

He brings her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on it, before grabbing his own piece of paper. Shit, he shouldn’t cry, but seeing the things he wants to say to her, is making him slightly teary. ‘Sweet Becky,’ he says, ‘believe it or not, but I accepted the fact that I would die a single man, however you changed my life for the better. I think it started with that sweet smile of yours, when I realized I never ever wanted to live another day without you. The fact it took so long before the two of us finally got together, is all my fault and I totally take the blame for that one.’

She chuckles.

‘I love you, Becky and I promise you I will take good care of you, love you forever and ever and try to be the best husband I can be for you, though you deserve so much better.’

They slide on the rings and when he finally hears the words: ‘You may kiss the bride,’ he doesn’t waste a second before pressing a loving kiss on her lips. Their first kiss as husband and wife.

‘I love you,’ he whispers against her lips. ‘I love you so much, Becky.’

‘I love you too, Henry,’ she says. ‘And I’ll forever do that.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve wouldn’t be Genevieve if she wouldn’t speech at the wedding reception. ‘Okay,’ she says, ‘if I can have your attention, please.’

The seventy guests they invited are all quiet and Genevieve gracefully thanks them.

‘I have known Becky for quite a few years now and let’s just say that she was hitting rock bottom at a very tender age.’

‘Gen,’ Becky says, frowning and pouting a little.

‘I promise you, it’ll be a lovely speech.’ Genevieve clears her throat and says: ‘She was always happy, but there was always this certain… How do I say this? Emptiness to it. Like her life didn’t have the right seasoning. But then this lady met Henry and lemme tell you: I was very jealous at first. Greg, honey, no offense, but damn, I was this close of leaving you.’

‘You and me both, baby,’ Greg chuckles.

‘The thing between these two, was that there was this spark, something they had yet to discover themselves. I mean, the two of them spend Christmas and the universe what other festive days together and didn’t confess their undying love for one another. How oblivious do you want it?’

Becky places her hand on Henry’s and with his thumb of his other hand, he caresses her wedding ring.

‘So, when these two finally admitted their love for each other, they are just disgusting as you can imagine. I hate it, but love it at the same time. You know, our sweet Becky deserves the world and Henry is the only one that comes even remotely close to what she deserves.’

‘Aw, that’s so sweet,’ Becky says.

‘Mister Sehun, kind sir, please cover your ears, because I’m gonna say something about your daughter you might not like.’

‘Gen, I swear to—’ Becky starts, while Sehun covers his ears and that’s when Genevieve says: ‘These two fuck like bunnies and honestly no one can tip to their sex life. I can know, I caught them once, but that’s all I’m gonna say about the matter.’

Becky looks over to Henry, who can’t hide his smirk, because it’s kinda funny. He presses a kiss on her temple and Genevieve gestures to Sehun to uncover his ears, as the rest of the crowd starts to laugh.

‘In conclusion, these two are everything every couple wants to be, but never will be. I’m so forever grateful that Becky found herself a good man and Henry should know that this woman is a once in a life opportunity. No matter how intense and intimidating he looks, I’ll make sure Greg will try and kick your delicious looking ass.’

Becky shakes her head, as she starts to laugh. ‘I appreciate it, Gen. Thank you.’

The afternoon turns into the night and after multiple dances, the married couple stands near the side, admiring the guests dance around. After it turned out that Sehun was a wonderful dancer, Gen and Viola pried him away from Becky to dance with him as well.

Henry wraps his arms around Becky’s waist, pressing a kiss on her temple as he gently sways her on the rhythm of the music. ‘Daddy can’t wait for all those people to go,’ Henry whispers in her ear.

‘And why is that?’ she asks, placing her hands on his.

‘Because I need to show you how much I love you, especially since you’re my wife now.’

‘Your wife,’ she says in a content tone. ‘Sounds amazing, you know?’

‘I can easily get used to it,’ he says. ‘Mrs. Cavill.’

✤ ✤ ✤

The door of their hotel suite has only shut for a second, when Henry says: ‘As gorgeous as you look in your wedding dress, I need you to take it off.’

Becky bats her eyes, as if she doesn’t understand why. ‘Why?’

‘Because you are my wife now and I need you.’ He takes off his tie and throws it to the corner of the room. ‘Fuck, baby, I need you so bad.’

‘Then you need to help me out of this thing, because I can’t reach the back.’

‘My pleasure.’ He unzips the dress and he presses a kiss on her bare shoulder. ‘I love you, baby girl.’

‘I love you too,’ she whispers. ‘I really do.’

Oh, does he love that tone. He turns her around as the dress slides down her body. ‘You’re not wearing a bra, baby girl?’

‘It has cups in it,’ she explains, as Henry explores her body with his hands. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Becky chuckles. ‘Honey, you’ve seen me naked before.’

‘I indeed do,’ he says, ‘but I haven’t seen you naked as my wife yet.’

‘Is it different?’

He nods. ‘In such a good way. I’m so in love with you and your beautiful body. Fuck,’ he mumbles, wrapping his fingers around the waistband of her underwear and pulls it down. ‘We’re married now, baby girl.’

‘I know,’ she chuckles. ‘Daddy, please make love to me.’

‘Make love?’ he asks with a chuckle. ‘I don’t know about that.’

She bites her bottom lip, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. ‘Well, let’s get you out of that suit first, okay?’

✤ ✤ ✤

Henry cannot help but completely worship Becky’s body, even as she shivers next to him on the bed. His chest is covered in her juices, as she squirted all over him as she was riding him. As she is on her stomach, her legs a little shaky and a thin layer of sweat on her back, he opens the bedside table. ‘I brought something, sweetheart.’

‘What is it?’ he hears her ask, while he pulls her up by her hips. She rests on her knees and knows exactly how to arch her back.

Shit, and this woman is his wife now.

‘It’s your favorite,’ he whispers, spreading her ass cheeks apart, brushing the cold tip over her puckered hole. She moans out loud as he slowly pushes it in. ‘Fuck, you take it so well.’ He smacks her bottom and not wasting anymore time, he thrusts his painfully hard member deep inside of her. Her hands clench into fists, as she holds on tightly on the sheets.

‘Daddy, you feel so good,’ he hears her whine. The room is filled with her moans, the nearly obscene sounds of her wet pussy and the slapping of skin against skin.

‘You feel good too, baby girl. Fuck, you’re my wife now.’ He holds tightly onto her waist, before he pulls out and turns her over. He pushes some of her hair out of her face. ‘Mrs. Cavill,’ he says, placing his hand on her cheek.

She chuckles. ‘That’s me.’

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He spreads her legs and pushes himself back into her sensitive hole. Her velvet walls wrap around his hard member and he gives her a kiss.

The night seems endless, but definitely not in a bad way. He watches her fall apart over and over again and she takes shaky breaths, hoping to regulate a bit, as she shudders underneath him.

‘How many times have you cum, baby?’ he asks, stilling his movements, to press a kiss on her cheek. ‘Tell daddy.’

‘F- Fo- Four times.’

‘Want to make that five times,’ he starts, ‘before I fill you up?’

She lets out a dragged moan, pushing her nails in his arms. ‘Please, daddy,’ she begs.

Becky is on the verge of crying as he slowly builds up the speeds of his thrusts. He watches tears running over her cheeks, but he recognizes it. He knows she’s not in discomfort, merely being so sensitive and overstimulated. As long as she doesn’t safe word or he deems it necessary to stop, he will continue.

‘You’re doing so good for me, baby girl,’ he whispers, kissing the tears away. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ she whimpers. ‘You’re amazing.’ He pounds deep inside of her and her moans are becoming louder and more desperate. ‘I can’t anymore, daddy.’

‘Tell me the word and I’ll stop.’

She doesn’t. ‘I’m tired.’

‘That’s not the word.’

Becky wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss. ‘Are you close, daddy?’

‘I am,’ he whispers. ‘Where do you want it? Still inside, darling?’

She nods, while her walls clench around him and that’s when he spills his seed. He buries his face in her neck, his lips salty as he kisses her sweaty skin, whilst riding out his high. He has stilled his movements and asks if she’s okay.

‘Just catching my breath,’ Becky chuckles, clinging against him.

‘Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth, sweetheart.’ She laughs and he gives her a kiss. ‘You did well. Daddy’s proud of you.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve: I think you two forgot I have the room below you in the hotel

Genevieve: Goodness me, how long were you at it?

Viola: Two hours and forty seven minutes

Viola: Yes, I timed, because I had a room above you and even I could hear it

Genevieve: Since we were in on the fun, you should at least give us the details

Becky: No

Genevieve: You’re no fun

Viola: I think this was just a preview of what they are gonna do on their honeymoon

Genevieve: Oh right, the honeymoon on the sex island

Becky: You guys…

Viola: The NAKED honeymoon on the sex island

✤ ✤ ✤

Becky’s wedding dress

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

HELLO i’m back and i’m bringing some more concepts (sorry in advance if i repeat some btw 😭)

- ok so like imagine if yall went to a concert and like he would be DANCING SO HARD and u would basically whisper-shout bc it’s loud (lol) what the artist/band is doing on stage to him… he would be so grateful for that ????

- omg also can we PLS imagine him as a dad to be trying his veryyyy best to build a crib and like help decorate the room??? trips to ikea!!! and harry feeling material on blankets to see which is best for his bubba!

- speaking to dad to be harry… HIM AT A ULTRASOUND appointment!!!! y/n would count all the babies toes for him!!!!!!! and he would so sob when he finds out the gender 🥰 and would be holding ur hand so hand bc he’s so lucky ????

- ok wait this is a but random but i can imagine him being a best man one day for like his best friends wedding and you would whisper in his ear that he looked beautiful ( him with his suit and colourful tie HE picked out 🥲) and he would blush like crazy… also would defo dance with you all dance night… conga? yeah. chicken dance thing? he’s doing that for an hour straight… and hearing ur laugh?? hes DEAD.

- alsooooo night routines would be so cuteee!! he can hear you taking ur makeup off and would go to the counter of ur bathroom and sleepily ask if you could do his moisturiser or something… or he would sit on the counter and wait for you, ask abt ur day, would get some snacks for ur night movie or something. but random but hey ho!

- small dates are a must btw!!! walk on the pier? yup! just harry feeling the wind on this face makes him so happy! and he doesn’t feel self conscious around you or anything… and if someone gave him a funny look you would be SO close to punching them in the damnnn face!! he’s very lucky to have u lol

sorry if these are bad! it’s evening in the uk so i’m tired lol. watch me come back tomorrow 💞 have a lovely day and hope u like these lol!!!!!! xxx

NO THESE ARE SO GOOD OH MY GOD

I NEED TO TAKE A WHILE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF THEM AND WRITE A GOOD CHUNK FOR ALL OF THEM SO I WILL EDIT THIS LATER AND TAG YOU ONCE I RESPOND TO IT ALLLLL!!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺

Okay they are done babyyyy @sunflowerstyles-6

Concert:

“oh my god, Harry he just fell!” Y/n giggles, watching the concert they caught at last minute. They didn’t even really know the band but they have heard a few songs and the band wasn’t very well known so pit tickets were pretty cheap. “What?!” Harry asks, stilling his dance moves and snapping his head toward his girlfriend. Y/n laughs loudly, “He almost fell off of the stage!” Y/n giggles, clinging to Harry. “Is he okay?!”

y/n nods, kissing harrys cheek. “Keep on dancing, baby! I want to get some videos of you!” Y/n yells over the music, pulling away from his and stepping back to take videos of his crazy head banging and jumping.

Building a crib:

“Honey, it’s okay. I can get someone else to build it.” Y/n says, rubbing her eight month bump while standing in the nursery that belongs to their second baby. “Hush, lovie. I’ve got this. Just let me take my time.” He says, growing frustrated with his pregnant wife but he still kept a smile on his face while talking to her.

“Okayyy, I’m going to watch ******. Yell for me if you need us.” She says, letting her man do what he needed to do.

Soon enough Harry yells her name, Y/n was selling up the stairs with their first born. She smiles while she leans against the door frame, breathless from hauling her big belly up the stairs. “You did it, baby.” She smiles, patting his cheek. “So proud of you.”

Yeah… you guys don’t get to know the name until a blurb comes out 😎 me also using they/ them pronouns so you don’t know the gender yet HAHAHAH

Ultrasound:

“Bubby, stay on my lap.” Harry whispers to his baby, hugging them while their mummy gets an ultrasound. “Okay… one second and I’ll be able to tell you the sex!” The woman standing in pink scrubs smiles, rubbing the wand over Y/n’s swollen belly.

“Okay, you’ve got a (YOU WISH YOU KNEW HAHAHAHA) in your belly!” The kind lady announces with a warm, excited smile on her face. Y/n jaw drop while Harry and ****** squeal. “ANOTHER?” Y/n cries, making Harry giggle. “Hush, you are gonna love it, baby.”

Best man:

“Don’t be nervous, silly.” Y/n giggles to her fiancé while she fixes his bow tie. They were at Harry’s best friends wedding. Mitch and Sarah had gotten engaged just a couple months before Harry and Y/n had, Harry now being his best man and Mitch going to their wedding as harrys best man.

“Hush it! I’ve got to walk in-front of all of those people.” Harry whisper yells, pointing to the door where people are slowly trickling in behind.

“Baby.” Y/n says, grabbing his face and looking straight into his eyes- he can instantly senses the eye contact and it makes his cheeks burn. “You look fucking beautiful. You are a dream. After the ceremony is over we are gonna go dance out asses off, and have the time of our lives. You aren’t Gonna have a worry in your mind so don’t get worked up now.” She says, hushing him with a firm kiss to his lips before he can even speak. “Thank you,” he cups her jaw. “I needed that.”

Soon enough Harry is screaming at the top of his lungs while doing the cha-cha slide- his suit jacket slipped off and shirt almost completely unbuttoned.

Night routine:

“Are y’ taking off your makeup, beautiful?” Harry asks from the bed, his voice tired and croaky. Y/n nods from the sink in the bathroom- “yup!” Harry groans, rubbing over his face. “Come take mine off, beauty.”

Y/n laughs at her husband, rolling her eyes while she pats her face dry with a towel. “Baby, you don’t wear makeup!” She yells back, stepping into the door way between their bathroom and bedroom. “Yeah but… come make me pretty. Wanna talk to you.” Y/n rolls her eyes but grabs a sheet mask and other things to doll up her husband nonetheless.

“You don’t need this, you’re pretty enough.” She says, swinging a leg over him and straddling his hips while he relaxes his head down into his pillow while she slides the slimy mask onto his face. “Yeah, yeah. How was your day?”

“It was fine, ****** was a little crazy today, but they went down so good for me during nap time.” Y/n hums. Harry smiles, “good.”

“How the company going?” Y/n giggles on-top of her husband, watching him lips form back into a smile. “It was good, sales are still going up!”

“Was it a good day?”

“Never when I’m away from you.”

Small date- at the fair!:

“No, H, come on! Give me a pretty face.” Y/n giggles, trying to take a Polaroid of him while he makes silly faces, pulling at his cheeks and lips to make himself look crazy. “Okay, okay, I swear. This one I will smile.” Harry makes a pretty face, closing his eyes while he smiles, pulling up his shoulders shyly while he does it. “Awe, you are so pretty.” Y/n coos at her fiancé,. Pulling up the camera to her eye.

As soon as the photo is shot harry is switching poses and shoving his corn dog into his mouth like a mad man. “Damn it Harry!” Y/n yells at her fiancé, making her erupt into giggles, almost making himself fall on the ground.

OKAYYY THATS ALL I HAVE :)

I realized that I spoiled that part about Harry eventually starting his own company… at least you don’t know what the company is 😭

[mollyolikeme]

Any Way The Wind Blows SPOILERS

Okay. Here are my ramblings in no particular order. Proceed if you care and/or dare. They a lot.

- I am emo shit. (I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. Brilliant.)

- Honestly the ‘break up’ is important even though it HURTS

- Holding the wand together. I CRY. Knocking foreheads. STAP.

-The first real snowbaz conversation during the make-up. Was just …......… FAN-TAST-TIC. Just real conversation and being patient and listening. Like they were both being so SOFT and UGH!

- Fuck yes the emotional intimacy!

- The first night in bed… like simons trauma and love and how they interact and how he can’t cross the lines right away but wants to and he’s just trying to process NEVER having to ever make a decision for himself and think about his own emotions in his life. Boy thought he was never gonna grow up. He thought he was gonna be dead! UGH. He just. Can’t handle the emotions and I FUCKING RELATE!

- SNOWBAZ MAKING OUT. GIMME MORE.

- Snowbaz hunting that first time and the conversation about simons sexuality (no label!) and further talking about how Simon thought (but really never thought!) about his relationship with Agatha

- The fact Simon wanted to JUMP ON baz and never thought past that

- Simon telling baz he would let him drink him. Yup. Good boy. Good bois.

- The mutual OBSESSION they have for each other!

- NANDOS! Yes sir.

- Penny and Shepard. Penny and Shepard. Penny and Shepard.

- Penelope deserves SO much. She is such an amazing friend/family to Simon AND to baz. Ugh their LOVE for each other.

- I think Shepard is v good for her

- YES bitch get him out of that engagement!

- Shep reaching slowly for penny and then penny just moving his hand to reach her cheek. I CAN NOT!

- KISS HIM! You go Penny! GET. IT.

- DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ

- IKEA trip. Just get out. That’s my dream for them.

- MORE KISSING. KEEP KISSING. I LIVE FOR IT.

- every damn time Snowbaz goes to lady Ruth Salisbury’s. I love it!

- I love lady Ruth! Like YES grandmama you are an open minded and smart powerful woman!

- SNOWBAZ MAKING OUT AT WATFORD! DO IT AGAIN!

- TEAM SOLVING PROBLEMS! YES TEAM.

- Smith smith Richards can accept my foot in his ass. I agree with Baz’s reactions. Like yes son.

- I get simons too honestly. For him as a character, as the guy that he is, ya know.

- Smith smith is a HILARIOUS and TERRIBLE name.

- LOL. What a scammer though eh?

- CULTS! Why is it ALWAYS cults these days!!!

- The whole bring the magic up and then burn it out thing smith does. Like fuck you. Why do you think your special because you made up a new spell?! Lots of people do that!

- The kind of first time?!?!?!?!?!!?!?! MY PRECIOUS BOYS. YOU DESERVE THAT AND MORE IM SO HAPPY!

- Fuckin GET. IT.

- The conversations the communication! KEEP IT UP MY GUYS!

- They just love each other so COMPLETELY. Despite everything and especially INCLUDING each other’s ‘flaws’ (I weep with joy for it)

- Honestly the Britishism’s in this book were prime!

- GETTIN THE TEAM BACK TOGETHER! Legit gives me ENERGY!

- GREAT Watford action. Simon being Simon like ‘nope imma lie to keep my people safe’

- His people then being pissed at him. lol yup

- Fuck you smith you deserve to be embarrassed by Simon!

- You look like a fool because you ARE a FOOL!

- GO PIPPA! Spell em like you see em! LIAR!

- KAY. The character growth for all of our mains …….. you guys I caaaaaant, stop it! (Don’t ever stop. Keep improving yourselves you guys are magical beauty’s)

-omg and AGATHA. girl you get your fucking story how you like it. this is about you now! your life is your life and you get to do what you want with it! Herd goats and just chill! uhuh uhuh!

- WERK HEADMISTRESS BUNCE. YOU ARE QUEEN AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN EVERYONE!

- Simons true nature just being protective boy to people who are assholes to him. Yes sir you are too precious.

- V interesting that rainbow gave us an open ended thing with smith. Like at least somewhat. I’m assuming the coven will be like ‘yea you are a fraud and we will not have you around people anymore’ but also she leaves it with him still being delusional and like ‘I chosen one. Uhuh dat me’ … ya fuckin’ knob. You aren’t it Smith!

- ALSO WOAH WOAH WOAH! On the MF SLY Nico (good for Fiona. Marry your angry boy. You deserve it. Whatever it is.) being like ‘you can’t be immortal only drinking animals’………………

- IM SORRY!

- That is a BOMB!

- WHAT. WUT.

- OUR BOYS CAN LIVE AND DIE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!?!?!? You are fucking kidding me! THAT IS ALL I EVER WANT IN MY LYFE! (Healing healing healing emotional healing)

- Beautiful addition with the Excalibur sword to give us the Simon Salisbury reveal. Just Beautiful. Thank you thank you thank you Rainbow. I think that is exactly as we need it. Like obviously a lot for Simon to work through. And he and baz LITERALLY have that conversation (‘it’s too much.’ ‘It would be too much for anyone’) I REALLY appreciate that scenario as the reveal. Like Ruth already knows all the important things about Simon and now they can just be a supportive and CONSISTENT presence in his life. BAWLING IM BAWLING.

- And Simon has his sword!!!! Yes boy! You look good with it! Baz thinks you’re Hot! Because you ARE!

- THESE BOYS ARE HANDSOME! WE ALL WISH!

- Okay but also the moment it hits Simon (and baz) that he killed his father…… noooooooo. POOR THING. (Crying real tears. Crying real tears in the park reading. It’s true.)

- HE WAS NEVER YOUR FATHER SIMON! NOT REALLY!

- ROSEBUD BOY!

- Yes that is the pet name and henceforth will be the ONLY pet name! (Actually baz should keep saying love because I SWOON)

- my thoughts are Simon is gonna keep his wings.

- Like he likes them and so does baz and honestly everyone does. I actually love that every time anyone who is important to Simon thinks about him without his wings they get a bit sad about it.

- I think he’ll keep them.

- I like that they left things with the nownext like….. those Vegas vamps will probably fucking kill them, let’s not get involved. And then literally didn’t talk about it. HA. (Fair enough. Not their problem.)

- Our baby’s get normal lives now!

- Like normal for them

- But they get to GO ON! ITS AMAZING!

- AH IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!

- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

- Penny and shep are getting his passport and moving to LONDON! They gone be cute cute cute together and it’s LOVELY

- SIMON AND BAZ LIVING TOGETHER FOREVER!

- MY BOYS (crying crying crying crying crying)

- I can just picture Simon doing Sunday night dinners at the Salisbury’s and coming home with HEAPS of take home leftovers for his week because grandmother Salisbury would NEVER let him leave without it

- He’s got an uncle! And probably/maybe cousins!? Sweet baby aaaaaahhhhhhh!

- Daphne at home again. THANK HEAVENS!

- I really enjoy that baz calls her mum. I think it’s so soft and important on so many levels because she did raise him.

- BAZ DRESSING SIMON! COME. ON.

- I CANT HANDLE ALL THIS BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOUR THAT I AM CONSUMING! IT. IS. PERFECT. I AM EATING IT UP.

- every time each of them comments on how sexy the other is.

- Simon thinking about Baz keeping his wand in a holster on his wrist. And it being dead sexy without his shirt on. FUCK. ME.

- Okay okay okay but MORE physical intimacy!!!!

- Like Clothes. Get rid of em. Don’t need em. Confident with where things are going. Check. Communicating consent and checking in. Fuck yes check. Sexy sexy sexy. Check. Kissing kissing kissing. Check. (I’m dying just about here) (get it my sons)

- What does Simon say? Just like ‘do you trust me’ ‘yes’ ‘can I touch you’ ‘yes’

- I. HAVE. DIED.

- (I’m dead)

- (Me being dead) AAAAAHHHH

- I LOVE the on going ‘is this what people do?’

- That makes me feel so many things.

- FUCK

- Simons like ‘we just get to keeping trying and working and being close and trying and working and making each other happy’

- I WEEP!

- These. Boys. Have. My. Heart.

- They have it they have it they have it they have it

- UGH

- okay better leave it there. I need to READ. THIS. AGAIN.

- LOVE ❤️

[donutloverxo]

Salty Baby

Chapter four

Authors note- I use the term daddy too liberally to the point where it has become a joke so I didn't think I could write this but here we are lol. If you want in on the taglist let me know. Don't be afraid to leave feedback I don't bite, not in a bad way anyway. Happy reading 💕

Please do not repost or steal my works. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- When you moved to New York in hopes of living a glamorous life this isn’t what you expected. Steve offers to help you but your pride gets in the way. Pride isn’t going to pay your rent and college loans.

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings- smut, daddy kink, sugar baby/daddy dynamics, slight kink shaming, angst, spanking

Word count- 3.2k

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter five

Masterlist

You woke up the next morning expecting to be on your sisters couch. You rubbed your eyes taking in your surroundings. Then you remembered, you were in Steve’s bedroom. His bed. You clenched your thighs when you felt the dull ache still present from last night’s activities.

You looked around to put something on. To cover your non-existent modesty. You grabbed a sweatshirt that was on top of his dresser. Hoping to be like one of those sexy girl in movies with their morning after glow.

You looked around his living room calling out for him. You didn’t get a chance to get a good look at his apartment last night. You were upset with your sister and then turned on by him.

His apartment, unlike Steve, looked like it didn’t have any personality. All the furniture looked generic, straight out of a IKEA catalogue. Something that caught your eye, the strip of photos you took with him in a photo booth at a fall festival you had been to.

You smiled at it your heart swelling. He was probably more crazy about you than you were about him.

There were a few old framed photo frames beside it. You recognized some of the people. One was of Steve, Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. And another of Steve and probably his best friend Bucky.

Steve always talked fondly of him. He was excited when he mentioned Bucky, but then he’d get this far away lost look in his eyes. If you could take his pain from him, you would. That’s not how it works though. You knew that better than anyone.

You jumped when Steve called your name. “In the kitchen” He yelled.

You entered the kitchen to see him cutting up strawberries. He was wearing a tight white tank top that left very little to your imagination. His usually combed hair now messed up.

“Good morning” He grinned widely at you.

You could certainly feel the afterglow radiating off of him. You felt a bit self conscious, you hadn’t brushed your teeth or made your hair. You were only wearing his sweatshirt that barely reached your legs and looked comically big on you.

“Good morning” You took a seat at the small table. “Oh I don’t drink coffee” You said looking at the cup of coffee in front of you.

“I know that’s for me” He winked at you “I made you some tea” He poured out your tea in a cup setting it in front of you.

You giggled at the smiley face he made on your pancake with strawberries and whipped cream “Thank you” you kissed his cheek.

You both ate your breakfast in what can only be described as comfortable silence. You didn’t feel like you had to talk or entertain him. You were still drained from everything that happened last night and the busy week you had.

“Here” he handed you a key after he had done the dishes.

You took it from him looked at him confused.

“It’s a key” He stated as if it’s a fact.

“I can see that” You deadpanned

“To my apartment. This apartment. I don’t know what you want to do but I’d like you to stay” He said awkwardly turning red. He was always cute like that. “It’s completely okay if you don’t want to. But you said you didn’t like living with your sister”

Which was true. You didn’t get a moments peace with your toddler nephews and your annoying sister. But then again she had always been good at taking advantage of you.

“I... Are you sure?” You asked fiddling with the keychain.

“Yeah. I uh.. have to leave though”

You whipped your head up “Where are you going?”

“Got called up on a mission for two days. Give or take a few. You can stay here as long as you like”

“I know you already said that” You were a bit sad at him leaving but grateful for his kindness.

You decided to stay with Steve at least for a couple of days. Maybe Anna would come to her senses and see just how much she needs you.

Steve dropped you off at your apartment wishing you luck. Which you needed. You’d rather not be here but you had to get your pills. You had been on them since you can remember. You were apprehensive about them at first but they helped control your anaemia. You couldn’t be careless with them now that you were actually sexually active. Your nephews served as excellent encouragement to take birth control.

You opened the door, which Anna forgot to lock as always, and walked into the living room. You hastily started stuffing some clothes, your books and your pills in a bag.

You cringed when you heard Anna call out your name. You turned around to see her glaring at you.

“Where were you last night?” She spat obviously still fuming at you.

“I was at my boyfriends” You continued packing your things. The sooner you’re out of here the better.

“Well where do you think you’re going now?” She folded her hands staring you down. As if that would stop you.

“I’m going to live with him from now on”

“What?!” she yelled you cringed again. “Who is this guy? I’ve never even met him. You’ve known him for a month! You know better than that” She said condescendingly shaking her head.

She had some nerve questioning your life choices. “Didn’t you and Brock have a shot gun wedding?”

“Doesn’t he live in Manhattan? How are you going to afford rent?” She evaded your question.

Steve would never even let you pay for popcorn you highly doubt he'd ask for rent. “You don’t have to worry about that” You strapped the bag onto your shoulders.

“You’ve known him for a month! Have you lost your mind!”

“I know him enough. I’m in love with him” you looked at her shocked at your own words. You had never told anyone you loved them. You had surely never been in love. There wasn’t much to not love about Steve. But would he feel the same way?

“Oh my god. You went and got yourself a sugar daddy”

“What the fuck is that? I don’t do those kind of things!” You had heard of it being a kink from your classmates and coworkers. However it never appealed to you.

“Yeah you made fun of me for letting men take care of me and now you’re doing the exact same thing”

“Whatever” You waved her off. You had packed as much as you could. You still had a few things left, but you could take care of them later. “Don’t I deserve to be taken care of? After everything I’ve been through?” You suppressed the urge to smack her when she rolled her eyes at you. “Can I say goodbye to the kids?” You asked.

They were little cretins but they were occasionally somewhat nice to you. After hugging them both, they probably couldn’t understand that you wouldn’t be living with them anymore, and some more glares and swears from Anna, you left deciding to never look back.

***

It had been over a month since your fight with Anna. You were still living with Steve. He had convinced you to quit your job at the cafe. It ate up too much of your time. You didn’t need the money now that you didn’t have to pay rent. You still had your job at your college library.

You had found, after doing a quick google search, that a sugar daddy is 'a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favours'

Which was true for you and Steve. He was older than you, by almost a century. You weren’t sure if he was rich. You thought so but it was hard to tell with his simple and humble way of life. You never bothered to ask him because it didn’t really matter. He liked to buy you things. You accepted them to indulge him. It was hard to say no when he looked at you with those puppy eyes.

The search for what sugar daddy meant sent you into a deeper dive. Full of porn and erotica with women and men calling their partners daddy. You still couldn’t comprehend it’s appeal. Why would anyone be turned on by that?

You did clench your thighs together, rubbing them whenever you thought of Steve like that. He was somewhat of a ‘daddy’ in bed. In the way that he always took care of you, never letting you do too much work, always making you feel protected. You would be too exhausted from all the orgasms anyway.

It was very vanilla and conventional, you mostly only had soft slow missionary sex. Steve was afraid to hurt you which you understood. You weren’t keen on getting hurt either. Maybe some kinds of hurt weren’t so bad...

It maybe vanilla and boring to some people but to you it was passionate and satisfying in every way.

You were lying on your back, panting heavily from the multiple orgasms Steve had given you with his mouth.

You wiped your forehead with your right hand, catching a glimpse of the platinum bracelet he’d got you for your two month anniversary. He loved celebrating the little things in life. You would too if you were frozen in ice for seventy years.

He had taken you for that horse carriage he was so excited about and a nice dinner. You did feel bad about not getting him anything. However he didn’t seem to mind. You had to repay him somehow.

You felt him line himself up to your entrance. This has been the routine more or less for the past month. Almost everyday Steve would eat you out and then make love to you until you couldn’t even walk straight. He never even let you get a good look at his dick.

You abruptly stopped him sitting up straight. He looked at you confused. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You gave him a evil smirk matched inversely by your big innocent eyes. You licked a strip up your hand all the while maintaining eye contact with him. Taking his thick length in your hand you started stroking it. Slowly and steadily building up your pace.

You had never sucked a cock before. You didn’t think you could, considering just how big and thick Steve was. But looking at the white creamy slick coming out of his angry red tip, you had to get a taste. You did owe him after all.

You placed a small kiss on the tip smearing some of his cum on your lips. You dragged you tongue over your bottom lip to get a taste. It was salty and musky. In a strange way it tasted a lot like Steve.

Feeling a bit more sure of yourself you licked a few stripes up his tip and then moved on to licking his slit.

Steve was cursing and moaning above you. He had bunched up your hair in his hand. He was always afraid to lose control, he had a reputation to maintain after all.

He grabbed a hold of your chin, making you look up at him. “You don’t have to do that” His hard cock in your hand and his shortness of breath betrayed his words.

You ignored him, continuing to lick him up and savor as much of his delicious taste as you can. Finally you took him in your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around his tip. You couldn’t swallow him whole so you stroked the rest of his length with your hand.

He bunched up your hair in his hand tugging it before letting go and holding onto your shoulder.

You weren’t having it. You took his hand putting it on the back of your head. Silently asking him to fuck your face.

He choked a groan back when he looked down at you. His cock in your mouth, your beautiful eyes pleading him to fuck you. He used both his hand to grab onto your face stilling you. He thrusted himself in and out of your mouth, being careful not to be too hard, he didn’t want you choking on him. He directed you to fondle his balls. You complied. You always complied with him.

He felt himself on the edge of orgasm. But he didn’t want to come in your mouth. He pulled out of your mouth.

“I want your come in my mouth” You whined trying to swallow him whole again.

He smacked your hands away. He gave his cock a few strokes with his hand, much to your dismay. You just looked so cute scowling at him. “Some other time” He grunted giving his cock a some more strokes before stopping “let’s try something new. Get on your hands and knees” he ordered.

Like the good girl that you were you arched your ass presenting it to him. He grabbed and groped at it before sliding into you, which was fairly easy considering how soaked you were. He rutted in you for a while you whined and thrashed.

“Daddy” You moaned.

He stilled his thrusts. His hands still holding onto your hips. Did you say what he think you said?

“What did you say?” He asked just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

You avoid him grinding onto his cock to distract him. He squeezed your hips, stopping your movements. Bending over he draped himself on your back. “What did you say?” He whispered in your hair.

“Daddy” You mumbled.

He kneeled back to his original position and carried on with his assault on your pussy. He spread your cheeks to get a good look at his cock sliding in and out of you. It was soaked in yours and his juices.

“Say it again” when you hesitated he gave a harsh slap to your asscheek. If you were going to call him daddy he had to act like one.

“Fuck daddy” You groaned “Spank me again” You begged.

He slapped your ass a couple more time before spreading them to look at the mesmerizing scene again.

“Oh god I’m going to come” You slithered and squirmed under him screaming profanities at him while he fucked you through your orgasm. Your hands and legs gave out. You dropped to your stomach trying hard to hold on for him

He felt himself tipping over the edge again. He bent down to hug you. He curled his hands under you one fondling your breast and the other stroking your stomach.

He always needed to be close to you when he filled you up. His thrusts because erratic, almost inhumane.

“I love you” he groaned as he came inside you, filling you up. He tried not to drop too much of his weight on you.

After a while he pulled out and covered you both with the comforter, spooning you.

“Hey you asleep?” he shifted a bit to get comfortable. With no answer from you “I meant it you know. I love you” he continued.

“I love you too” you murmured. It didn’t feel strange when the words rolled off of your tongue like you expected. It felt easy and safe. “You make me feel safe” You whispered shyly “And not just because you’re strong. But because you’re you...”

He smiled to himself. You made him feel safe as well. Safe to be himself and to not have to pretend. He kissed your hair feeling himself fall for you even harder.

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Alrighty. Time to type up my surgery and recovery experience. 

When I got my pacemaker two years ago, I spent a year (almost exactly) drawing a comic called Change of Pace, which helped me kinda process what happened to me. You can read the comic here if you’re interested. It’s largely all true, aside from the love story part. Tsk.

I don’t think I’m going to be drawing out this experience. It was completely different. I’ve been expecting a surgery of this nature since I was nineteen, when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. So, in a way, this stint in the hospital was harder, more personal. The pacemaker was an emergency. The colon resection was some time coming. Not as much trauma, really. Not as much confusion about what was happening and why. But I still feel like telling the story, purging it from my mind. 

I was scheduled for surgery on Monday, the 18th of November. I took off work that Friday so I could have my pre-op bloodwork done and I also took off Sunday so I could start the colon prep. If you don’t know what a colon prep is, God bless you. You basically drink a crap ton (lol) of laxative and spend all night pooping until you poop clear. The easiest version is the Miralax version. If you have to have a colonoscopy, ask for the Miralax. I promise, you don’t want the Go-Lightly.

The day before prep, my friend took me climbing in Memphis to keep my mind off of things. We also went to IKEA. It was helpfully distracting. I had Swedish meatballs. 

I was meant to “technically” start the prep at midnight Saturday by not eating anything until surgery on Monday. Beginning to drink the Miralax sometime around noon on Sunday. I didn’t get that far. 

I got righteously sick Saturday night. My back was killing me and I was very nauseous and dizzy. I knew what was going on even before I started throwing up. I had a bowel obstruction. The second one in my life. I’d had one once before in March and jeeze. It hurt like a son of a bitch. I’m not sure if every bowel obstruction feels the same way, but mine certainly did. If you find yourself having these symptoms, please go to the ER. Bowel obstructions are no joke. You can go septic, which is incredibly dangerous. 

Nausea, feeling like you’re going to pass out, vomiting bile, severely upset stomach, cold sweats, and my back was aching something awful. I assume it was because my stomach was cramping so badly, my back muscles were spasming.  

I live with my mother. Have done since I’ve been getting sick so regularly. I woke her up and she took me to the hospital. 

The first time I had a bowel obstruction, I thought something was wrong with my heart. (The cold sweats, the nausea.) They rushed me to the back immediately. This time, I knew it was an obstruction, not my heart, and I said as much. They don’t tend to be in as much of a hurry when you don’t mention your heart. Didn’t realize that. I’m also not entirely sure they were convinced I did have a bowel obstruction. I’m sure plenty of people walk into an ER saying random stuff for random reasons, but yeah. I was very slowly processed. I remember them taking my blood pressure and because it wasn’t high at all, I imagine they thought I was full of shit. Figuratively, not literally. Because I was, literally. Whatever. 

My blood pressure normally runs very low. I can also take a lot of pain, because I’m on a first name basis with pain. They didn’t take my pain seriously because my blood pressure wasn’t high, I guess. Not my fault I’m a badass.

I sat in the waiting room until I started vomiting bile again. I also pooped all over myself in the processes. Which I didn’t think you could do if you were obstructed, but you live and you learn! 

That’s when they got in a hurry. I was making a huge mess. 

They got me a paper gown and I cleaned myself up as best as I could before the CAT scan, which proved I was, in fact, obstructed. 

So there I was, in the ER, very very early on the Sunday morning before my surgery Monday. I was admitted and my doctor contacted. Since the surgery was so close at hand, they agreed it was best to wait until the scheduled time to do the surgery. I’d stopped vomiting so there was no need for an NG tube this time. Those things suck.

Got admitted. Got a room. Tried to sleep. My surgeon came in and we talked. Got everything situated. At one point my mother told me there was a girl down the hall who’d just had a colon resection if I wanted to talk to her. She was sitting int he hallway with her sisters, eating her dinner. Poor thing had been in the hospital for almost a month. 

I spoke with her a bit. I’m not entirely sure what happened. Whether it was nerves or if I was hurting, but I almost passed out in the hallway. I hadn’t experienced anything of that nature since I had my pacemaker put in. The whole point of the pacemaker was to prevent me from passing out altogether. But I didn’t pass out so...I suppose that means it’s working?

I also pooped on myself that night while I slept. First time that’d ever happened. It was then I knew that I’d literally gone as long as I could before I needed surgery. I couldn’t wait any more. I’d been so stressed out over in the idea that I maybe didn’t need the surgery. That I was being pitiful and my case wasn’t that bad. I could tough it out if I really wanted. I realized what a dumbass I was for thinking those thoughts, but hindsight is 20/20. 

Monday dawned and surgery rolled around. Took forever. I was basically watching the clock tick the minutes by until transport fetched me. I was wheeled down to pre-op where they gave me a hair net. I don’t remember getting a hair net for the pacemaker surgery. 

I signed some paperwork and a lady told me she was going to get me ready. She said she was going to give me a nerve block in my stomach. I was like, “Cool, right on.” Until I saw the needle. 

Holy fuck. That needle. 

“You’re going to give me that when I’m asleep, right?”

“I’m going to give you some ‘I don’t care’ juice.” 

“Oh, thank God. I probably won’t remember this then.” 

“Probably not.” 

In went the ‘I don’t care’ juice. I got really dizzy. 

They swabbed my belly with iodine. 

They prepped the needle. 

I was still very much awake. 

I said, “Guys...” Because at this point there were several people standing over me. Like five. “...I’m still cognizant.” 

Yeah, I used the word cognizant. That’s how fucking cognizant I was. 

Not sure if they heard me. Or if they replied. I was really dizzy. 

In went the needle. 

And ow. OW. 

In went the needle again. One stick on each side of my belly. 

The ‘I don’t care’ juice must have been working in some way because while I remember the pain, I don’t remember the panic. I certainly would have panicked if I didn’t have that juice pumping through me. So that was a thing. 

I fell asleep soon thereafter. Couldn’t have been like...a minute earlier? Really? 

I remember waking up in recovery with the pacemaker. I remember the pressure, the nurse asking me questions. I remember being wheeled back to my room. I don’t remember jack shit about recovery after the colon resection. I don’t remember being wheeled back to my room. I apparently asked for my mom, but I don’t remember doing that either. 

I do remember, however, turning over on my side. Because ouch. But I did it anyway and kept doing it because I’m a determined asshole. Monday night was very hazy. I was high as fuck, probably. 

Tuesday: Not a good day. I was in a lot of pain. They gave me hydros, but the hydros weren’t touching it. Felt like I was taking Tylenol. And I have a very very VERY low tolerance for pain meds. They wouldn’t give me any morphine because my blood pressure was too low. (Again, badass?? Maybe?? IDK man my blood pressure just runs really low.) Which makes sense, because that’s dangerous, but I was in agony. I begged for morphine. I pleaded with the nurse to give me morphine. She would not. 

My mother got angry. I’m not one to complain. And my threshold for pain is admittedly pretty stout. I was hurting and no one was doing anything to help. My mother got ANGRY. 

I think they must’ve finally given me some morphine, but I don’t remember. Morphine also didn’t help. Didn’t even make a dent in the pain I was feeling. They kept giving me hydros every couple of hours to no avail. I remember I asked for a heating pad for my back. Barely. The nurse did give me one, but said I could only have it for an hour? Very fuzzy.

The tech forgot to...do something with my catheter because my urine got everywhere. The nurse that found me like that called the floor manager. I hated to, but I did report that my pain wasn’t kept in check. I was hurting so badly I actually reported one of the nurses. The one that wouldn’t give me morphine. I felt horrible about it, but I was also nearly in tears I hurt so bad. 

Hell, the pain was so intense at one point my mother called my family. Like, they thought something was wrong. Very very wrong. The doctor called for some kind of scan while I was in bed. They put a board behind my back. I was writhing, I remember. My family gathered in the hospital to see me in case I had to go back to surgery. In case I wasn’t going to do well. 

It was scary.

The next set of nurses figured out the problem when the scan revealed nothing out of the ordinary. My back was spasming. Horribly. When I sat up and they felt of me, they were shocked to find my back riddled with knots. It felt like knuckles underneath my skin. The new nurses got me some hella icy hot with pain killer and rubbed me down. 

It helped tremendously. My back stopped freaking out, which gave my abdominal muscles time to rest.

At last, I wasn’t hurting. At last, I slept. 

Wednesday and Thursday were spent trying to keep my back under control. At one point I vomited all over my bed due to acid reflux. I paged the nurse to ask for some acid reflux medicine and puked all over the place while I was on the call with her lol.

I never once had any issue with my incision. My entire trouble, the whole time, was from my back. And nausea. And lemme tell ya. Vomiting with a six inch incision on your abdomen? OW.

Getting up and walking? Easy enough. Getting up and going to the bathroom? No problem. Spongebath? Piece of cake. But God my back. 

I managed to poop for the doctors. Fantastic. 

And finally, finally, I got to have food. 

I went from about 5:00PM Saturday to 12:00PM Friday without having anything to eat or drink. I had an IV, and I could eat ice chips if I desperately needed to wet my mouth, but yeah. I hardly had any ice chips. Weird to imagine you can go that long without food and be alright. 

I proved I could eat GI soft food on Saturday and they let me go home.

Got my staples removed the following Tuesday. Had some steri strips applied. Just waiting for them to fall off on their own. 

And here I am. Just lounging, waiting to get my strength back. It’s much easier to draw after this surgery than the pacemaker one. Thank God. I’m slow moving and my stomach hurts a bit when my contents shift, but other than that I’m doing swimmingly. I can’t lift anything over ten pounds until the new year. Not sure when I’ll be able to drive, either. I’ll find out soon. 

This surgery was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Mentally and physically. Mentally because I’ve been struggling with Crohn’s since I was a teenager. I’m 32 now. Half my life I’ve been at war with my own body, drowning in the pain it leashes on itself. It’s been a long road. I hope this spells the end of it. Or at least, the rest of the journey is all downhill.

I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’ll gain it back. Just takes time.

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[zontiky]

The Five's Store au we were talking about?

yesssss the good kush. gonna do this in bullets because i feel like it might get long. jsyk i didn’t read through literally any of this so for whatever typos i made sorry lmao

five wakes up one day (post apocalypse) and thinks hey, you know what would be a completely rational and not at all impulsive idea to follow through with.

that’s right folks. 

he’s gonna start a store.

the thing here is, five has absolutely no idea how business functions. sure he’s been part of a massive organization for years, but actually doing like,, store things? lol what

but that doesn’t matter because he’s gonna have a store and he can learn as he goes, no big deal

it’s a very big deal. five does not know how to manage a store.

it’s literally just called “five’s store.” how did he fund it? when did they build it? nobody knows. it’s like those fast-food restaurants that just pop up one night and you have no clue how they got there.

so. five’s got his store. this is nice. he didn’t actually know what he wanted to sell, but because his siblings couldn’t talk him out of this (read: they didn’t know it was happening until it was too late) they suggest things

baked goods! bicycles! books! postcards! writing materials! furniture! shut up klaus nobody is selling what you’re about to suggest shUT UP-

so five decides, fuck it, and just. shoves everything into this store. how? i don’t know. nobody does.

i literally have no ideas how stores work so im playing all of this by ear (vanya if you’re out there) but five also doesn’t know how stores work so it’s all good. gucci, if you will. five has probably stolen gucci before, for a mission or something idk just a thought

so five has his store but he’s so bad at managing it. first off, hiring employees didn’t occur to him. it’s just five in a building

customer: *walks in* hello can i have a cake pleasefive: sure :) five: *gives them a pie*customer: little boy, who do you think you are? i said a cakefive: cake? oh shit you’re right, sorry.five: *gives them a breadroll* :)customer: what a rude little boy! let me speak to your manager. is it even legal for a teen to be employed?(he passes as 15 ok props to aidan for being older than his character’s physical age lmao)five: ok *walks out into the back room* *walks back in* hi what can i help you with

the kids love him though. it’s always “mommy when can we shop at five’s again?” etc etc and five is like. shitposting irl. without realizing. he genuinely doesn’t know the difference between types of cheeses. he can’t tell you how an LED is different from a fluorescent bulb. he actually, literally, doesn’t know this shit.

why is he in charge of a store? fuck if i know, but im having fun with this

the siblings try to help out, but it ends with five kicking them out because they were “arranging the cacti wrong” or “messing with the bathroom toilet covers too much” 

what are bathroom toilet covers? idk but we have them in my house and we only use them for christmas theyre the worst. imagine a fucking snowman staring at you everytime you want to take a shit. goodluck

five loves his store dearly tho

from offbrand cream cheese to onbrand sweatervests.

hm luther probably tries to help with the gardening section once in a while. he comes in and immediately has to hold back tears because “five when was the last time you watered these begonias.”

‘oh last week probably i dont know’

“five you have to water them at least once a day”

‘how was i supposed to know that’

“five you OWN a STORE-”

so yeah luther just. silently looms in the corner. watering plants. he scares asshole customers away even though he never says anything he just stands there. and waters the plants. some nice ladies initiate conversation and he just goes off about plant things which is so valid i love him

he’s like hargid but less rough around the edges. friendly giant. bfg but with plants. five never comments on how he takes a plant home occasionally. 

diego sticks around the cutlery for reasons well known. he always tries to take knives home, to sharpen them, he claims, but five draws the fucking line there.

im making it sound like five owns some massive corporate building. no. his store is like a very compact IKEA. it has everything an ikea would, but it’s barely the size of a target. actually targets are pretty big. walmart maybe? dollar store? bigger than a dollar store though. hmmm just an average department store

lowes. that’s it. it’s like an ikea but the size of a lowes. five owns a lowes called Five’s Store. 

okay so allison’s sole purpose is to stand outside and offer free autographs. she basically bribes people into going in. it’s like walmart. as soon as you go in you physically can’t go out without buying something. 

jk she also helps five with his customer service because what the fuck it’s terrible. also funding. she’s a rich actress. all of them have an inheritance probably though, but five didn’t want to use reggies money because this is all a really huge “fuck you” to dad. cheers to him. 

OH MY GOD ALLISON PROBABLY SHOOTS ADS FOR FIVE’S STORE (in future mentions will be abbreviated to FS for my convenience) AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET TRACTION YES

klaus and ben kinda uhhhh hang around. klaus is kicked out by five a lot because “don’t touch that” “get your hands off” “where did you get a chainsaw? put that down, klaus stop-” and all that usual average stuff, but when they need it klaus is willing to be a cashier for a little bit

ben is the only one with like. actually useful tips. 

ben voice: no that’s not how you purchase items to sellfive: ???ben: here okay just go do something else and let the adults handle the money okay?

five can’t punch ben because he’s dead so HA. klaus probably makes ben corporeal though rip

ooo ben can also shelve things with his interdimensional wiggly worms! he can reach those high high shelves that have packaged stuff on them.

��costco? no i dont think FS is as massive as costco moving on

ben shelves stuff. we are eternally grateful for that. bless

vanya is the only actual competent adult you guys know this right. like sure the rest of them come CLOSE (mainly ben and allison, but ben doesn’t really count because he’s dead) but vanya is the only actual competent adult in this family (pogo dni)

so vanya does the taxes. rip to her. nobody likes taxes, but she’s taking one for the team

diego helps sometimes. tries to help sometimes. he brings her coffee does that count

kidding, diego knows how to taxes a little bit. emphasis on the “little” and “bit” and the silent “barely”

so yeah they all help out and i know i said five kicks them all out but i lied that never really happens. the store is like their side job but they’re not paid and it’s more of a hobby that got out of control

honestly five probably brings grace in and she bakes away because it makes her so happy that her cookies can make so many people happy. let her bake please.

claire probably owns an easy bake oven. just saying

yeah five has a store and it’s the literal best thing. it’s midnight so im gonna cut myself off but skjfsk this au is amazing thank you spencer for this golden concept

im gonna be honest all of this really reminds me of my mcdonalds five au which i might ramble about if requested lol

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x08 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Giulia: Ugh so young Kat: Adam was our brother Nat : Sobs  Zee: Babies Kat: The babes Zee: Assbutt Giulia: Assbutt Kat: Hey assbutt lol Giulia: And then he was forgotten forever Kat: Hey my demon Giulia: Fuck off chuck Zee: Future corpses? Giulia: Let’s play are they dead or tired Nat : She definitely is Nat : ah Zee: Strike out future Kat: Omg did he kill all these people? Giulia: Wow Kat: Ffs Chuck Giulia: Wow Giulia: Is that tequila sunrise Nat : Easy on the rum Giulia: Yuck Nat : pf Zee: You don’t want me cranky Nat : WEAK Kat: He is the WORST Zee: What a dick Kat: EILEEN Zee: GO GIIIIIRRRLLL Nat : Still got it, girl Giulia: I fucking swear if they kill her off again Zee: RIGHT IN THE NUTS Nat : Ah Kat: Hell ya Nat : "HEY" Zee: CONFUSED MOOSE Kat: Push him away

Kat: THEY ARE SO CUTE Giulia: Yeah u are Giulia: Snort  Nat : You are Nat : Snorts

Nat : Sam with his salads man Zee: And Eileen with junk food

Giulia: Well Dean looks happy

Kat: BOOM Nat : Boom Zee: Boom Giulia: Boom Nat : Is there an echo in this chat?

Kat: I love when we speak at the same time 

Giulia: Dickdemons Nat : DICKtated Zee: What’s with his enunciation ?? And with his face Giulia: Lot’s of dicks in his mouth Giulia: Wait

S: So, he has an Achilles heel. D: Well, I'm saying he has a weak spot.

Kat: I hate it when they dumb down Dean Giulia: Yeah, not that funny sometimes Zee: That close up!!!! Giulia: MY BABY Zee: And enter cas

Giulia: snort Zee: In all his fed up glory Giulia: DONNY Kat: Aw Donnie

WAIT , I CAN MAKE THIS BETTER

YOU WELCOME

Kat: JEAN SHIRT Zee: JUST TWO LAYERS?? Nat : Ah I feel like Donatello is me Zee: NAKED Giulia: True Giulia: Me Nat : lol

Donny: Oh And, guys, when I go crazy again,

Kat: Just shoot me Kat: Mood Zee: ALLLL THE CHICKEN Giulia: AH

Zee: Stop it Nat : Yeah, definitely me Nat : Only with his favorite

D: Oh, yeah, a real daddy's boy.

Giulia: daddy’s boi Nat : Ah that's the part where they bring in Michael Kat: Ya Giulia: AH Zee: Hi Donnie

Nat : Ah, yeah he cray Zee: Oh fuck Giulia: Cass is me when i explain spn to my friends

Giulia: CHUCK

Kat: CHUCK

Giulia: asshole Nat : Fuck u

G: But this -- Let this one go.

Kat: Hate him so much Giulia: HE BLUFFING Nat : I gO aLL pOwERfUL Kat: Powerful, my ass Zee: God is an asshole

Donny: Really? I have to leave? Oh, that's too bad. I'll, uh -- I'll just get my stuff.

Zee: Run Giulia: LOL Nat : snorts "too bad" Kat: Grabbed the chicken lol Giulia: awe cas is worried Nat : Cas has got no fucking patience left Zee: I get that Kat: None Giulia: UGH Kat: Oof Kat: That tone Giulia: that stare

Giulia: AAAAAAAH Zee: Fandom going crazy Nat : Yeah

Kat: Aw

Nat : I see the fics Giulia: i’m going crazy Nat : that I won't read Kat: Rowena 😭 Giulia: They should stop zooming inf his hands because it does stuff Giulia: AWE Zee: On all their hands

Giulia: They in hell

Zee: Welcome Giulia: Again Nat : Cas knows his way around  Nat : Ladies lol

Zee: Yeah Giulia: Of course Zee: That didn’t go well

Giulia: Wow

Nat : Aw come on

Zee: Are any of us winning? Kat: Nope Giulia: Well they seem more compatible Giulia: Sdbdksbdildbs Giulia: What Kat: ROWENA Kat: OMG Zee: Oh well

Giulia: AAAAAH Nat : ROWENA Giulia: WHAT Nat : WHAT Nat : IS Nat : GOING Nat : ON Giulia: FUCK RIGHT OFF Kat: LOOK AT MY GIRL Nat : Of course she'd rule. WHAT ELSE DID WE EXPECT Zee: No one hands you anything darling Giulia: YAS GURL BAD ASS WITCH BITCH Nat : I AM SO HAPPY Giulia: YES, MAKE UP ON POINT Zee: Of course Kat: HAIR ON POINT Kat: DRESS ON POINT Nat : SHE'S QUEEN OF HELL, SHE'S ALLOWED Giulia: she deserve it

R: Did you not hear the man? [ Screaming ] Find him!

Zee: YAS

Nat : AH Giulia: AHAHAHAH Nat : SNORTS Giulia: LOVE HER

Kat: THAT WINK Giulia: LOVE Nat : AW So if the boys would go to hell, they'd have good company as Rowena Giulia: Shut up nat Nat : I know Zee: YOU SERIOUS? Nat : Eileen, NO Kat: NO EILEEN Giulia: BAD EILEEN Nat : Yeah, you stay girl Kat: She’s gonna get herself killed

Giulia: LOOK AT HER Zee: That’s a fucking queen Nat : Samuel please

R: Samuel, be a dear.

S: yeah

Giulia: WHAT SHE DESERVE Nat : Sex lol Zee: Amazon doesn’t deliver here, YET Giulia: SHE QUEEN Nat : I'M QUEEN Nat : Yes you are

Giulia: SO AWKWARD Nat : I'm also Queen Giulia: STOP THAT U TWO, I CNNOT

Nat : What am I picking up of you two

Kat: Auntie Rowena

Nat : FIIIINE

Giulia: IM CRYING Nat : IT'S FIIIIIINNEEEEE Giulia: FIX IT Nat : FIX IT Nat : Aw Zee: SLAP THEM QUEEN

Giulia: FIIIIIIX IT

Nat : She' the mom Giulia: THANK YOU MOM ROWEENA

R: Making Napoleon so short was just bitchy. Telling Mick Jagger he had no future when I dumped him.

Kat: I love her infinitely Nat : Ah Giulia: ROWENA IS MY MOM

Nat : There he is

Zee: HE BE HUNGRY Giulia: i don t even remember this mich universe Kat: Wow Giulia: I don’t know much Giulia: Sure u don t Zee: Now I’m hungry Nat : Ok but I'm hungry Kat: He hungry Kat: Me too Giulia: WHAT HE DOING ON THAT PIZZA WTF *Eye twitching in italian* Nat : Maybe pepper Zee: Family sucks Kat: He’s been in hell, give him a break Nat : I hope it's peppers Nat : My god. Donatello is mood Giulia: IT S TIME Kat: For what Giulia: KITCHEN TALK

Zee: That’s adorable Kat: That’s adorable Giulia: but first Eileen talks Giulia: Awe Stop it you two Zee: The way he says “thing” Fuck him

Zee: She’s hot Giulia: SHE GETS IT Kat: My heart Giulia: OF COURSE SHE DOES. I COULD GET IT TOO

editing Giuls: ..... what she said Kat: Stop it

Nat : You could do worse Giulia: AH so much better Zee: Brothers Giulia: STOP MY HEART Kat: 😭😭😭 Giulia: awe shucks Next time then Kat: I miss brother talks Zee: Yeah Kat: Ugh Zee: Oh no Giulia: AH HER AGAIN Nat : Ugh ee: Not her again Giulia: She’s snazzy tho, I kinda like her Zee: The ikea yellow again Giulia: Not her wardrobe tho. The berret can stay Nat : It's so weird. Michael was so fucking powerful when he possessed Dean and now he lets himself being commanded around Giulia: Well I guess being in the same body with that wuss does things to you Kat: Different Michael personalities I guess

*Lilith gets roasted* Nat : Ah Giulia: There. U happy? Zee: You were saying Giulia: Wow Giulia: Ok Giulia: Bye lillith Giulia: And again Nat : I miss the suits tho Giulia: Guess he’s just depressed Nat : They could have dressed up Adam Giulia: The peaky blinders feel Nat : Snorts Donnie Giulia: NOW IT S TIME Kat: Donnie is a mood again

Giulia: ME Nat : Ah pour me some bourbon too Zee: I need burbon Giulia: not yet Zee: I wanna live in the bunker Giulia: Castiel bb Kat: Unpleasant lol

ME :

Giulia: Why i love when cas haS these scenes tho Nat : Your father is not who you knew. Kat: You love Cas? Giulia: * Will Smith pose * a babe Zee: He should stop with that face Giulia: I know Giulia: THAT TINY MICHEAL Zee: You called me assbutt and set me on fire

Editing Giuls: .....I’M-

Zee: I didn’t come to beg Giulia: Oh I didn t come to beg Kat: I didn’t come to beg Giulia: BITCH I GREW Zee: You grew ?

LOOK AT THESE TWO MODELING SONS OF BITCHES MY GOD

Giulia: STOP WITH THE HANDCUFFS Giulia: zee I swear Kat: YES ANOTHER CUFFS SCENE

Nat : Dean always holds the cuffs , they know Giulia: I can already see all the fics Zee: I’m gonna read Nat : Sames Kat: Right? He doesn’t need to run it in

M: Sam. You look well. Last time I saw you in the Cage... S: Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Sammy has no time for your bullshit Michael.

M: You're asking me to trust you -- you, who doomed me, you, who let Lucifer walk free while your own brother sat in hell.

Giulia: Lol micheal telling how it is Kat: Sames Giulia: SNORT Giulia: OH awkward Nat : I was right when I said Michael is in Adam and not the inside kinda way Zee: What Zee: The Zee: Fuck Nat : Michael lets you talk? lol Giulia: Dean and his Micheal ptsd Kat: 😭

Giulia: YEAH HOW ABOUT A SORRY Zee: He’s so hurt Giulia: well ....wow ok good acting Zee: Paradise is boring Kat: He really is a daddy’s boy Giulia: He looks a bit loony too Zee: A million years in hell do that to a person Giulia: Those books irk me Nat : Adam tries to talk sense into Michael Nat : I'm here for it Giulia: Mid eternity crisis Zee: Mid eternity crisis Giulia: Me Kat: Of course Nat : Parents keep secrets. Do we? Giulia: Ok but i love the different acting. He’s real good Zee: He is Giulia: U ALL DO Giulia: STOP EILEEN Nat : Eileen you stay put Kat: EILEEN NO Nat : She's gonna get killed Zee: Is that a trap ? Nat : I think it's a trap Nat : could be Giulia: AWE CUTE Nat : ah no Giulia: NOW IT S GONNA BE TIME SOON Kat: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

C: You know, Michael, I never really liked you. Even when I was just another angel, I thought you were too haughty, too...To paraphrase a friend, you had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass.

Nat : snorts Giulia: ENTIRE OAK TREE SHOVED UP YOUR ASS Zee: Shoved up your ass Nat : that would hurt

C: I'm looking at you, and I...I just pity you.  Because you were never God's favorite. You were just a little part of his story, a tiny part of his story.  You weren't even a star. You weren't even a star. At least Lucifer knew that God can't be trusted. But I guess he was always the smart one.

Nat : Cas, you should have seen that coming Nat : What he said Giulia: NICE CAS Zee: Jack Zee: He’s gonna pop Giulia: I DIDN T NEED THAT AGAIN Nat : so many dirty things in my head

Giulia: FINALLY Nat : Ah this scene Zee: Yes Giulia: I WAS WAITING FOR THIS

Zee: They’re not even looking at each other

Giulia: LEAVE Giulia: GET OUT Giulia: I WANT U DED Giulia: LOL IT S FINE  IT S FIIIIIIINE Zee: We didn’t bond Giulia: IM FINE Nat : Finally Giulia: how to call people in extra Zee: God lied to me Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO Nat : Wouldn't u do that Kat: Wait am I ahead Nat : Yes Giulia: Of course I would are you even question that Zee: Don’t like this Kat: FUCKING HELL Nat : half the house is falling apart whenever you call someone in Nat : lol Giulia: I DON T LIKE THIS Giulia: THE FUCK Nat : Ah IT WAS A TRAP Giulia: STOP Zee: Knew it Nat : UGH Kat: DAMN IT CHUCK Giulia: AW COME ON Kat: I HATE HIM Giulia: IM FEAR Giulia: thank you micheal Nat : HE WILL HELP THEM Nat : Do we trust him Giulia: NO WE DON T

M: And, to bind the spell together, the nectar from a Leviathan blossom. Giulia: WHET Nat : A what Kat: ONG NOT THE DAMN LEVIATHANS Giulia: OH Nat : Purgatory? Giulia: PURGATORY OF COURSE Zee: Fuck no Kat: PURGATORY DEAN PLEASE YES PLEASE I NEED Nat : NO Nat : DO WE TRUST HIM Giulia: OH ARE WE GETTING PURGATORY BONDING TAKE 2?

Editing future Giuls: YEAH , YEAH WE DID GET IT, IT WAS AMAZING

Zee: This will rip my heart Giulia: This michael is so depressed Kat: So our Michael can just make doors out of thin air? Giulia: Apparently

D: Adam, I want you to know... we are sorry. What happened to you... You're a good man. You didn't deserve that.

Zee: DEAN SHUT UP

Giulia: THANK YOU DEAN Nat : Michel can apparently do more than we thought Giulia: True

A: Since when do we get what we deserve?

Zee: ADAM SHUT UP Nat : No, Adam stay. I want him to stay Giulia: IM FEAR Nat : So Two guys in Purgatory will Cas want to come back tho Nat : Alright Promo Giulia: PROMO TIME Nat : Ugh I think they'll be trapped in Purgatory longer than the 12hours Kat: Oi hey Giulia: HOLD ON Zee: The fuck?

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If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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[i-looktothe-stars]

thanks @s-ongbir-d for tagging me!!

1) what is the colour of your hairbrush?

pink and green

2) what's a food you never eat?

mushrooms are awful and I hate them

3) are you typically too warm or too cold?

I'm usually really cold, my friends joke that I can't thermoregulate because I'll be wearing 5 layers (including 2 jumpers and a coat) and still be shivering)

4) what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

listening to the latest episode of rusty quill gaming! I binged it all in...less than a week(? idk time doesn't exist anymore) so now it's frustrating having to wait for new episodes

5) what's your favourite chocolate bar?

crunchies are top tier and I will fight about that if I have to

6) have you ever been to a professional sports event?

nope! my mum wanted to get tickets to the olympics in 2012 though

7) what's the last thing you said out loud?

"all the doors are open now" (I was singing along to red signal okay)

8) what's your favourite ice cream?

okay the Ben and Jerry's ice cream with the caramel in the middle is So Good, but I also like mint chocolate and coffee (not together obviously)

9) what's the last thing you had to drink?

...probably a blackberry tea this morning? (it's 8pm. hydration? I don't know her)

10) do you like your wallet?

ehhh it's fine, it's just this embroidered black purse with a zip. its juuust big enough to keep my card, train tickets, and some physical money, so it's good enough. I don't really need a bigger one

11) what was the last thing you ate?

I'm snacking on jaffa cakes as I write this

12) did you buy any new clothes in the last week?

for once, yes! I bought the very cool and sexy new magnus merch. unfortunately it's too big so I need to send it back and get a smaller size :/

13) what was the last sporting event you watched?

uhhh idk probably the races at my school's sports day 3 years ago? I skipped two of them because sports day is The Worst, then y11 ended early so I didnt have to watch it

14) what's your favourite flavour of popcorn?

my friends hate me for it but I looove salty popcorn. I can't stand toffee because it's the only one my sister likes, so I got sick of it when we had to share during movie nights when we were younger. (same with ham and pineapple pizza)

15) who was the last person you sent a message to?

my dnd discord! love you guys 💜

16) ever go camping?

my dad lives in wales so yes. a lot. it's fun when it's not raining?

17) do you take vitamins?

no but I probably should

18) do you go to church on sundays?

nope, I've only ever been to church for christingle services with brownies/guides, and that was mostly for the orange with sweets on it

19) do you have a tan?

ahahahahah no, I look like a dying victorian child. last time I tanned, it was because I got sunburned at pride and I had tan lines around my glasses

20) do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

love me some chinese takeaway! (although spicy meat feast pizzas are also very good)

21) do you drink soda with a straw?

only at fast food places, although I usually get iced tea instead of something fizzy

22) what colour socks do you wear?

I have multiple pairs of this one kind of grey fluffy socks, that's like basically half my sock drawer. the rest are either black, or super brightly coloured

23) do you ever drive over the speed limit?

I can't drive yet so no. i was supposed to get lessons for my birthday in march but uhh. that couldn't happen for obvious reasons. i probably wouldn't though? because the speed limit is a Rule and breaking a Rule is Bad

24) what terrifies you?

going outside, phone calls, answering questions in class, windows at night ("because what if there's Something there?")... more like what doesn't terrify me? although honestly, I'm not scared by horror media, as long as it doesn't have any jumpscares

25) look to your left! what do you see?

my book collection! (specifically my regular sized paperbacks. I have a pretty weird organisation system? I split paperbacks and hardbacks, then sort by size, colour and alphabetically by title in that order)

26) what chore do you hate?

washing up. Wet Food Bad

27) what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

australia I guess? idk, what else would i think of

28) what's your favourite soda?

probably apple tango? I don't really drink anything fizzy. except sparkling water because it's great fuck you

29) do you prefer going into fast food places or using the drive through?

none of my friends can drive yet either so going in

30) who was the last person you talked to?

my mum, she wanted me to come and look at the pond she made today

31) what's your favourite cut of beef?

I don't know?? I don't ask what cut it is when I have beef, I just eat it

32) what's the last song you listened to?

red signal by the mechanisms, because sometimes you just need a little bit of eldritch chanting to make everything okay

33) what's the last book you read?

stuff matters by mark miodownik! it's about material science and it's one of my favourite books

34) can you say the alphabet backwards?

lol no what kind of sorcery--

35) how do you like your coffee?

2 sugars and a bit of milk, but I prefer those sweet iced coffees you get at tesco. those were basically the only things getting me through sixth form until quarantine happened

36) what's your favourite pair of shoes?

ok I currently only have 2 pairs, my black and white trainers and a pair of heels that I haven't worn since new year 2019. so the trainers I guess

37) what time do you normally go to bed?

I usually go to bed around 10, but i stay up at least until midnight, usually closer to 2 am

38) what time do you normally wake up?

for school I wake up at 6:30 and get up at 7, because I physically can't get out of bed until I've snoozed my alarm at least 3 times. although at the moment,,,,,,,,,,,probably around 10:30? I set alarms to try and keep some kind of structure... and then sleep through them

39) do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

absolutely sunsets. I live about 10 mins away from the beach, so watching the sky change colour and the stars come out as the sun sets over the sea, with a mug of fruit tea warming my hands... fantastic

40) how many blankets are on your bed?

just one, but I have wayyy too many pillows

41) describe your dinner plates

my parents just get plain black or white sets from ikea or wherever

42) what's your favourite alcoholic beverage?

I Am A Minor And I Have Never Drunk Alcohol I Don't Even Know What Alcohol Is Ha Ha Ha

43) do you play cards?

no, although I used to play solitaire A Lot because it was one of the only games I had on my shitty purple ipod

44) what colour is your car?

train coloured (I don't have a car yet)

45) can you change a tire?

nope

46) what's your favourite province?

I'm english what does this mean

47) what's your favourite job you've had?

I've only really had 3 jobs: I answered the phone when my parents ran a takeaway from home, I work in their cafe every now and again doing washing up or sometimes waitressing, and I used to have a paper round. I Do Not like any of them, but the second is probably my favourite

48) what's the biggest scar you've got?

a surgery scar from my appendectomy 6 years ago,,,,,,,,,,,,I thought it was just really bad food poisoning for maybe an entire week

49) how have you made someone happy today?

I hope I made my friends happy? I really enjoy talking to all of you in our discord server, y'all make me smile so much and I hope I can return the favour

i tag @johnathansims @spookyhetero and @two-am-art if y'all want to get involved

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 12):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

12:3 The Foundry - Mylings! Nuff said. And I knew it as soon as I heard the baby cry. And that makes me feel good about me.

12:4 American Nightmare - Stigmata. Dean dressed as a priest getting stuck looking at a boy lighting a candle in the church. Mr Mess: ”Dean! Time and place!” Sam wasting his sensemaking on a relentlessly angry Dean as usual, but then laying the hard truth on the crazy lady - is it hot in here?

12:5 The One You’ve Been Waiting For - Nazi dirtbags! Referencing one of the great episodes of season 8 too. Good. Good. And Allison Paige is friggin’ beautiful! Nauhaus is such a spoofy villain I think this is a comedy. ”Do you know what it’s like to have en nazi necromancer as a father?” ”He had a guy named Fritz try to kill me!” GOLD.

12:6 Celebrating the life of Asa Fox - badass-intro. And Jody. Hunter community! Canadian hunter community! Here for it. Bucky, or as I like to call him: demon nr 5 from early season.... single digits.

12:7 Rock never dies - Loving this glam-metal thing. Crowley in LA. And omg! Cass being snarky with Dean of all people. ”Atleast I don’t look like a lumberjack.” I laughed. And Mr Mess pointed out that Cass is tired, that that’s why he snapped, and it dawned on me that Cass is *choosing* to be kind under normal circumstances. My heart! ”I work for sexists, rasists, even politicians.” Lol. Loving the group dynamic of the four. But I’m a bit disappointed that Lucifer can’t chill, he could have had so much fun.

12:11 Regarding Dean - A goofy Dean episode. That’s rarely bad news. I like Rowena in this, she’s rly growing on me.

12:15 Somewhere between heaven and hell - Honesty’s the best policy, signed, Dean. Hear, hear! ”So, ten years ago did you rly want something? Like, a Hello Kitty backpack or the death of an enemy?” Lol! Dean and Crowley and Lucifer breaking free! Dean is a hoot this episode. Sam, killing the hellhound like a pro, and thanking Crowley. And Crowley kicking Lucifer’s ass. That’s the stuff. And Sam being honest with Dean and Dean being all reasonable about it! Loving it!

12:16 Ladies drink free - Claire! Nuff said. Loving everyone this episode, except Mick of course, but my homicidal thoughts at the sight of his beard have lessened. ”The experiment was on mice.” Werewolf-mice! XD

12:17 The british invasion - Eileen! God this show needs more women, the brothers are so much better dealing w them, which I guess is a problem on its own. ”Make your voice a mail.” Oh Cass. Eileen and Sam! My heart! Am I shipping this? God I hope not, it’ll mean instant death. God, Mick is an idiot, I mean, I’m obv digging his change of heart, but apparently he hasn’t learned a thing in the entire life he’s worked for his fucky organization.

12:18 The memory remains - Goodness. Loving this intro. Taxidermist sheriff. Man, sometimes I feel these quirky characters are wasted on the just-passing-through format. ”Hunting people! Killing them! The family business!” Lol.

Fail episodes in chronological order:

12:1 Keep Calm and Carry on - ”You’re bad at your job.” Sure, she has a point, but as generous as this british chick’s offer is, her pitch is somewhat lacking. A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up on the fail list. Also ”break his mind”? That’s what it’s like inside Sam’s head *all* the time.

12:2 Mamma Mia - A sexscene featuring Dean Forrester is the second quickest way to wind up on the fail list. You say his name is Sam Winchester? Nah. Nope. Not buying it. Listen, I know I talk a tall game about being a big Sam-fan, I just don’t ship him with a.n.y.o.n.e. So what the sexscene isn’t real!? I still had to see it with my own orbs of sight. ”Your job was to find american hunters and gain their trust.” I’m howling! Maybe *you’re* rly bad at your job, lady!

12:10 Lily Sunder has some regrets - uhm... using demon number 5 to play other randos throughout a 15 season show I’ll forgive them for but you can’t use the same distinct actor (Ian Tracey) to play two distinctly different characters (Lee/Ishim) and not acknowledge it, especially when they could easily explain it as Lee’s body being possessed by Ishim. It ruins the whole episode for me. Also, I’m rooting for the ”bad” guy.

12:14 The raid - The british men of letters are the worst, they are worthless recruiting agents, salesmen and got crappy intel; where the Winchesters go the rest of the american hunters will follow? Pretty sure the opposite is true: ”Oh shit, the Winchesters are joining ’em? Better stay as far away from that shit as possible!” Also Mary’s being more than a little silly and I’m surprised Sam didn’t give her some speech about how he used to aim for big things like killing the devil, closing the gates of hell, before learning to settle for more realistic goals, like, staying alive, keepin your brother alive, savoring the occasional win, y’know, for the sake of your mental health. Anyhoo; Sam’s reaction on finding out Mary gave the Colt to the british men of letters might have been enough put it on the fave list but there are just so many icky characters and so many shots of Mick’s ugly beard I can’t let it slide. Plus Sam winds up joining these assholes. Boooohhhh!

12:20 Twigs & twine & Tasha Banes - Jeez. Petition to have Dean always justify his icky feelings about something w the Star Wars classic ”i got a bad feeling about this.” It would save time and my sanity. Also I have issues w Mary not being reasonable and understanding the basics about the life she and the boys are leading - you’re in or out, but there’s no finishing it w/o finishing yourself. Is this season’s big bad trying to annoy me to death? And the other hunters? What is it with this show and any other fun or awesome characters? Sorry, can’t keep ’em on, it’s a density-thing.

12:21 There’s something about Mary - Booohh! First Eileen, my bae (did I call it or did I call it?) and then the entire episode is full of The Big Annoying. First episode I didn’t bother finishing. Screw this season.

12:23 All along the watchtower - honestly I don’t get the constant jokes about IKEAs manuals, they’re all pictures, you don’t even need to be able to read to read them. Crowley <3 Plz spare me this show’s take on child birth, really just any show, (how is it possible that it’s so frickin’ hard to get right??), but especially this show’s. And Crowley. And Cass. And Mary. Such an intense bummer.

Honorable mentions:

Crowley blowing up Rowena’s scammer! And Rowena’s reaction! ”That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me!” Covered in blood. Priceless.

Cass and his sass is on this season. He’s so done w everyone. The exasperation!

The hug at the end of 12:22.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean and Sam making a deal to get out of jail, kinda unepic w a predictable outcome.

Mediocre mentions:

The entire episode Stuck in the middle (with you) - It’s a Reservoir Dogs reference right? And it works very well until you realize that, then you just start missing Tarantino’s poignant dialogue about tipping (not fucking!) your waitress. The return of the yelloweyed bloodline. Bound to happen with Mary back. Don’t care about that but I do care about Crowley being back and being awesome. The Dukes of Haphazard. That’s good, I’ve just been referring to them as the Two Stooges.

The episode Who we are - There are separate aspects of this I like: Dean and Sam blasting their way out of the bunker, Jody and Alex, Dean dreamwalking Mary back home. Ackles is a genius with this sort of thing. But it’s just so silly: The british men of letters are just so unepic, it ruins everything, wraps it in a mediocre blanket: They’re bad at their job, have inexplicable motivations, are such annoying stereotypes the only way this would be a win would’ve been if Sam’s speech went something along the lines of ”I’ve had this fly buzzin’ around my ear all year, I could use your help squashing it.” But at least, then they do.

Summing up:

I’m rly enjoying the warped relationships early in the season. Crowley and Cass. Rowena and Lucifer, Rowena and Crowley. Sam, Dean and Mary. But my usual creed about the gooey middles of seasons doesn’t hold true this time and I rly feel like it gets good only when it’s almost over. And honestly on whole the season is the worst so far. The british men of letters are so annoying and they’re everywhere, tainting everything. Ugh.