#lmao yes embarrass the child

[banishedbandit]

[Blindfold] “You are one of the best parts of my life. I’m so lucky and privileged to be here and watch you grow up into the incredible person I know you’re going to be. Thank you for being you.”

Annie's face turns red in embarrassment and she shuffles awkwardly. "Ohmigod Papa stop that's so mushy!"

[okurrroye]

OK BACK uP cause wt- you mean to tell me Hermes is literally the god of thieves and these idiots think a child of Ares stole the masterbolt???

[queen-mabs-revenge]

always on my marxist bullshit, but the idea that a parent must be solely devoted to their child to the wholesale detriment and complete exhaustion of themselves is exactly why the bourgeois family is an act of universal violence. no one gets the care they need in that situation, and the ruling class continues to profit off of unpaid reproductive labor through the propaganda that parental exhaustion and monomaniacal devotion is pure, noble, and the only way a child can be raised without harm.

blended families, extended families, and other forms of borderless communal childcare have been the norm for the majority of human existence. the bourgeois family is an unnatural, alienating imposition completely geared towards justifying ruling class generational wealth consolidation, and beatifying a system that compensates 0% of the labor it takes to provide care, comfort, safety, hygiene, etc. for the reproduction of both tomorrow's and the next generation's labor.

anyway real facts this is why mainstream storytelling never can hit just right when it tries to tell the stories of parents and children with both being fulfilled and complete human beings. it literally can't propose a resolution to those contradictions unless it wants to start asking a whoooooole lot of other questions about families and social reproduction under capitalism....

[ajarofpickledtears]

random thought I just had

when art you made (not exclusively drawings) and posted here only gets likes it just kinda feels like being left on read lmao

[kirain]

My favourite bit of BG3 lore is that Withers is legitimately responsible for the Dead Three, but he's probably too embarrassed to tell you, so every time you ask him to elaborate he just gives you a very stern, "Noooo."

I also love that the reason he's responsible for their uprising is because he got bored. He literally got bored of his position as Lord of the Dead and wanted to retire, so when these three morally questionable humans came looking for godhood he was like, "Hmmm. Yes, okay. Here. Take my portfolios. Fight over them. I don't care. I quit."

So after bowling with skulls in a friendly competition to decide who would get what portfolio, they took up his powers and wreaked havoc on the world. Only at that moment did Jergal, AKA Withers, AKA our precious Bone Daddy think, "I'm just now, internally, asking myself, in quite a worried way, whether I might've made an error."

So he joins your merry band and watches your escapades, calmly twiddling his fingers while you clean up his mess. He's happy to lend his aid, even to the point that he'll bring Durge back to life if they reject Bhaal, even though he technically shouldn't. But he's Withers. The rules don't apply to him. If Ao doesn't like it, he can descend from the Heavens and say it to his rotting face.

And the reason he saves Durge isn't necessarily because he likes them or because he's a morally good entity (though one certainly could make that argument), but because he wants to add insult to injury. He steals Bhaal's child with a big smile on his face, dubs them his Chosen, and praises them for rejecting all the power they were promised. But of course, he still doesn't tell them who he is—or rather who he was.

Then, when all is said and done, he throws Tav and their companions a cute little party. No one knows it's probably half a thank you party and half a "Withers is bored again" party. And if anyone misbehaves, he'll get irritated and whisk them away. Because how dare they? He put a lot of work into that.

And at the end of it all, he walks up to a mural of the Dead Three and basically goes, "Lmao. Thou didst fuck around, and thou didst find out." Just savagely roasting them.

And then poof!

He waves them into non-existence.

[cordeliawhohung]

soap x f!reader | drabble

cw: smut, dub-con voyeurism, religious talk and standards, virginity taking/hymen breaking, breeding kink, just a lot of fucking filth, unrealistic sex, this was just an idea i need to get out of my brain so i can work on something else lmao

You always knew Johnny was a traditional and devout Catholic, but you didn't think he'd consummate your marriage with an audience; let alone in front of the members of his task force.

"It's okay," he coos softly. Soft sheets sprawl underneath your bare body as your wide eyes catch sight of the three men entering the hotel suite. Shaky hands grab Johnny's arms as you attempt to bury yourself in his exposed skin to save yourself any sort of embarrassment. You recognize them instantly as attendants of your wedding — they're even still wearing their suits — but that doesn't ease your anxiety any further. "They're just 'ere tae watch. Ah work with them. Trust them with mah life. Won't speak a word."

There are only so many chairs in the room for them to take. John, who you remember being introduced to earlier that night as Johnny's captain, drags one of the office chairs to the foot of the bed. He sits with a polite smile, as if you're meeting for Sunday brunch. Kyle does the same, both of them sitting, legs spread far, knees nearly knocking together. The lieutenant, Simon, doesn't make himself nearly as comfortable. He stands behind them, arms crossed over a broad chest as his eyes wander your body, taking in the sight of your soft skin and neatly done bridal makeup. Your skin perks, prompting you to cover yourself with your arms as a chill racks your body.

"To watch?" you repeat, teeth sinking into your lower lip. "I don't... I don't know, Johnny."

"We have tae," he presses, fingers ghosting over your cheek and turning your attention to him. The mazarine hue of his eyes bores into you as he leans up, hand wandering over your torso until he rests on your stomach. "Everyone has tae know this bairn A'm gonna give ye is mine."

"But, I've never-" you begin to protest.

"I know ye haven't," he shushes. "This is how it's always been done. Tradition, aye? Please, mah love."

You love Johnny. You wouldn't have married him if you didn't. But this strong ambivalence is torturous. It tingles up your spine in line with the watchful eyes at the foot of your bed. But you love Johnny, and if this is what he wants, then you'll give it to him.

"Okay," you eventually concede.

He grins. "Ah love ye."

When his lips meet yours, you feel the warm beads of his rosary rest on your chest. He had you pray with him before this. Kneeling next to the bed, elbows resting on the mattress, thanking the Lord for your union and the child you'll eventually bring to this world. Despite tradition, consummating your marriage this way feels blasphemous, put on display for his teammates to see like a whore rather than a wife.

Johnny's hand begins to wander between your legs, rubbing over your clit in a way that leaves your hips bucking into his touch. You rarely touch yourself like this, too afraid to revel in sin, but his touch is searing. Unfamiliar and burning. He chuckles, warm and low, as his fingers begin to prod further, relentless ardor exuding from his body. When he presses into your cunt and meets resistance, he pauses, eyebrows furrowing as he leans back.

"Spread yer legs for me, lovely," he prompts.

Body stuck on auto pilot, you listen before your brain has time to process his request. Knees bent, your thighs separate as the heels of your feet dig into the soft mattress, and Johnny wastes no time spreading the lips of your pussy for the boys to see.

"Christ," John groans. "She's still intact."

You make the mistake of looking past Johnny, and you see the way the boys paw at themselves. Chubbed cocks straining against the pristine fabric of their dress pants, palms rubbing at themselves for any fraction of relief.

"Look at ye, so lovely," Johnny sighs. He settles between your legs, body blocking the view of your bare, unfucked cunt. He tugs at his aching cock, and this is the first time you've allowed yourself to push past your bashfulness and look at it. Delicate reddened skin, a thick base and heavy veins — he's going to tear you apart. "Gonna let me have ye? Tell me yer mine."

You swallow the discomfiture stuck in your throat. "I'm yours, Johnny."

There's no more time to waste — he presses into you, leaky tip butting against the thin membrane of your hymen. Pressure builds as he pushes, and your eyes screw tight at the sting as thin skin stretches and accommodates his length.

"Go on, love," Kyle prompts. "Don't hold back now."

You whimper, but you don't know if it's from the teasing or from Johnny finally bottoming out. Wide eyes stare down between your legs where the two of you are joined, and you see the slight tinge of blood that covers the base of his cock. You groan as your head hits the pillow, never having felt so full in your entire life.

"Fuckin' hell. Hardly gave 'er any time to adjust, you dog," Simon teases through a grunt.

Johnny's hips slowly move back, leaving you empty for only a split moment before he pushes forward again, hips hitting yours with a lewd slap. You gasp, air being sucked free from your lungs as he grinds deep inside of you, in a place where no one else has been.

"Cannae help maself," he breathes, face burrowing into the side of your neck. Instinctively, your arms wrap around his neck, holding him close as you drown your moans into his skin. "Have'ta give mah wife the best. Cannae settle for any less. Need'ta give her a sweet bairn, just like Ah promised."

Your mind goes blank as more moaning and grunts join in harmony with yours and Johnny's. Belts become undone with quiet clinks followed quickly by sticky skin on skin contact as the boys rut into their own palms. There's no time to feel bashful about their transgressions in your presence. Pure hedonia captures your mind, numbing anything else as Johnny's thumb presses against your clit. You tighten around him, and he growls against your throat.

Something overwhelms him. Makes him insatiable as his cock pistons into you at a relentless pace. When you finally get your eyes to open through it all, a halo of light illuminates behind him as if he were an angel. Soft, defused, and gentle as the rosary around his neck swings with his movements. You feel something build inside of you, a needy pressure that expands in the heat of your stomach, where it grows, and grows, and grows until-

"J-Johnny, f... fuck!"

It's a sin to enjoy sex. You've known as much since you were young. But this is the closest to heaven you've ever felt. Not even praising God in the pews of your grandiose church has ever brought you this much bliss. The curse falls from your lips as that pressure snaps, body convulsing, pussy clenching around Johnny as if to draw him in, beckoning, demanding he give what he's promised.

And he does. Stuttering hips seize as his cock pulses inside of you, and you swear you feel every single throb as his body pins yours to the bed, warm sweat staining the sheets. He sows his seed, and you feel tears prick the corner of your eyes at the utter ardor you harbor for him in your heart.

When Johnny pulls out, he keeps your legs spread wide to show the boys, each of whom have made messes of themselves. Wasted cum coats their fingers where they quickly clean themselves up on handkerchiefs, eyes still glued to your leaking cunt. Simon mutters something about you dripping, that he shouldn't let his work go to waste, and Johnny agrees by gathering his spend on his fingers and shoving it back inside of you. They chuckle at the way you jolt.

Just as promised, the boys leave once everything is clean, each of them muttering congratulations as the hotel room door shuts behind them. But he can't stop himself there. He lies with you as you both catch your breaths, but it's only minutes before he's shoving his cock into you once more. You whimper, tell him that you shouldn't have sex more than necessary, that it's a terrible sin you'll both have to repent for, but he coos and tells you not to worry. He just wants to make sure his seed takes. That he gives you what he swore he would.

"Besides," he whispers, lips brushing against your ear just as his cock hits your cervix, "don't have'tae hold back anymore with the boys gone. Can have mah lovely wife all to maself now."

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ HEAVENLY ANGEL

toto wolff x vintage fashion! wife! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter

featuring: toto being the best husband and reader being hot because you are

faceclaim: assorted but mainly dita von teese

୨୧ sorry i haven’t been making smau’s lately! british summer has been kicking my ass, i’m getting stuff prepared for my birthday and i think i kind of burned myself out by making so many smau’s in so little time lol… have this for now

reading music recommendations: heavenly angel by patience and prudence - you’re the cream to my coffee by annette hanshaw - it’s a lovely day today by jo stafford

loveuyn: yn wolff ln’s new photoshoot featuring pictures of her with vintage mercedes cars!

totoyn: the way my jaw just dropped…

> ynsteponme: literally, i’m so down bad for her

> totoyn: it’s so embarrassing how much i want her 😭

ynscurlers: toto wolff can you fight?

> totoyn: i hope he can’t, i want both of them

ynwolffln ✔️: ah! i adore the vintage car pictures so much, now one of my favourite photoshoots ever 💝

> loveuyn: yn wolff ln, never stop responding to fan accounts please 🥹

❤️ liked by ynwolffln

iluvf1: just saw toto’s eyes turn into hearts like a cartoon character

> totontop: lmao 😭 oh yeah he probably LOVES these car pictures in particular

> ynwolffln ✔️: you’re correct! he’s a big fan of the vintage mercedes shots in particular 😉

ynsteponme: still can’t get over the fact that this woman has a child… AND WITH SOME F1 MANAGER GUY 💔 kidding, her and toto are cute… i guess

> totontop: “ some f1 manager guy ” i can’t 😭

totoyn: throwback to this yn wolff ln photo shoot

loveuyn: this photoshoot changed lives you guys…

ynsteponme: yn wolff ln run me over, beat me with a bat, set me on fire, please just do anything to me i really don’t care

> iluvf1: you guys RELAX she’s someone’s mother 😭

> ynsteponme: she’s someone’s MILF

ynwolffln ✔️: oh i love these pictures! it’s been a while since i’ve seen these

ynscurlers: TOTO WOLFF CAN YOU FIGHT?

oldf1lvr: okay yes this photoshoot is super overly hot but i’m more impressed by her hair 😭 it’s always so damn perfect!

❤️ liked by ynwolffln

> ynscurlers: watch yn’s vogue video! she shows off how she gets her hair like that all the time

> totoyn: not to mention the toto cameo is ADORABLE 💔

> totontop: him gently helping her take her curlers out at the back… there’s so many cute toto moments in that video 🥹

ynscurlers: never beating the hottest wag allegations… toto wolff watch your back fr…

totontop: thinking about the time toto posted this picture of yn to the official mercedes account and it was just a post of him fawning over his wife with “ - toto ” at the end

loveuyn: like yes toto, we knew it was you 😭

> iluvf1: he’s so obsessed with her i love it 🥹

ynsteponme: i absolutely love how yn goes from the really hot milf to someone that looks like they give amazing hugs and just wants to smother their husband and child with love

iluvf1: lewis commenting “ who is this beautiful woman? ” and toto commenting back “ that’s my wife, lewis… ” 😭 like lewis didn’t know lmao

> oldf1lvr: and george’s “ mate… please make your own account, can’t stand this lovely dovey stuff ( joking, of course, don’t fire me ) ” comment

ynwolffln: happy anniversary to my beloved husband 💞 the best husband i could ever ask for and the most wonderful father! you’re my necessity, i’d be lost without you 💕

georgerussell ✔️: happy anniversary yn and toto! i still remember the taste of that cake… so good

❤️ liked by ynwolffln

> ynwolffln ✔️: i’m glad you liked the cake so much george, i’ll have to bake you some for yourself one day

❤️ liked by georgerussell and lewishamilton

> georgerussell ✔️: please do… no bakery comes close to you mrs wolff!

❤️ liked by ynwolffln and lewishamilton

> lewishamilton ✔️: me as well please yn!

❤️ liked by ynwolffln

> ynwolffln ✔️: sounds like me and little miss marilyn have a lot of baking to do 🥰

❤️ liked by mercedes, georgerussell and lewishamilton

lewishamilton ✔️: happy anniversary you two! beautiful wedding and a beautiful bride

> iluvf1: lewis still playing into the beautiful woman joke after all this time 😭

> oldf1lvr: i love him

> ynwolffln ✔️: thank you very much lewis! marilyn sends kisses to her favourite uncle 💓

❤️ liked by ynwolffln

> georgerussell ✔️: hold on a minute… favourite uncle? lewis? get a grip!

❤️ ynwolffln

> lewishamilton ✔️: sorry mate! but it is i who has the cute dog

loveuyn: omg… marilyn’s little bow 🥹

> ynsteponme: so so so cute 💔

mercedes ✔️: my beautiful wife and the best mother to our gorgeous little girl ❤️ happy anniversary honey - toto

❤️ liked by ynwolffln

> ynwolffln ✔️: we really need to get you your own account love 💖

> totontop: lmao even yn is trying to get him to make an account 😭

ynsteponme: she really had the dream wedding for us vintage girlies 🥹

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

toto loves his honey and little miss marilyn

[padawansuggest]

Okay so the fact that Obi-Wan’s cooking is canonically considered a War Crime (by Bail at least, idk who else hates it when he cooks lmao, he also canonically hated having to eat at the Jedi refectory because it probably was made to appeal to as many people as possible, and then later on Tatooine when he had to cook for himself he said he felt bad for trashing their cooking… so I think even he dislikes his own cooking) and I like to take things to extremes????? I have the opportunity to do the funniest shit ever.

Obi: *stuck with Mandos for months on end* oh, I mean, since you guys want cultural exchange, I guess I can make a traditional Jedi meal?

True Mandos who are desperately trying to adopt him and Satine: *unknowing of the bomb that’s about to go off* sure!

Months later

Qui-Gon: *puts a giant pot of stew on the table* This is one of our more traditional Jedi recipes.

Mandos: Um. I mean. I don’t know if our people really… vibe with the taste…

Qui: …when have you had Jedi recipes before?

Mandos: your Padawan-

Qui: oh you poor bastards, did any of you get sick?

Mandos: all of us yes we were fighting over bathroom space it was horrible

Qui: oh my god. It’s okay, I can cook. The child cannot. He makes salt cookies. And /likes/ them that way *shudders*

Obi: *laying on the floor in embarrassment*

Basically, the Mandos are convinced Jedi must like horrible things but no. It was just mister I Learned To Like Yoda’s Stew Cause It Tastes Like When I Make Normal Stew. These poor bastards.

[hyunnie04]

crown prince! bang chan x reader, fluff, royal au | m.list

wc: 1.1k words

a/n: dipping my toes into writing something a little out of my comfort zone! this is also lightly (heavily lmao) inspired by one of my fave games fe3h and it's support conversations.. 👉👈

you had no idea what chan might’ve wanted from you when he had invited you out for a cup of tea on the courtyard. it was unlike him to host such frivolous activities like tea parties out of the blue since he was quite busy these days, dealing with his royal duties and what not.

you haven't really crossed paths with him since your academy days and even now, you only ever caught glimpses of him here and there because of your parents' business involving relation matters, so the sudden invitation came as a surprise.

the said academy was for royals and nobles alike, shaping them up to be the future leaders for the next generation. it was how you both came to know each other. chan is the crown prince of the kingdom up in the frigid north, revered to be one of the strongest knights the kingdom has ever seen. polite, charming, not to mention extremely good looking as well.

you however, is just the eldest child of your family. house l/n had strong ties with the kingdom, your parents being close with several affluent families and being valuable members of the kingdom’s council.

"here we are." felix, his right hand man and closest friend, had stopped in front of the cobbled steps, leading down to the beautiful courtyard before sending you a grin. you thank him earnestly, giving him a smile back.

from a distance, you could see chan sitting quietly in the meadows, the lush grass and flowers crowding at his feet, cupping his chin in thought as the wind lightly blows through his hair.

he looks serene compared to the stressed look he adorns whenever you see him hunched over the castle’s conference room, going over his army’s battle tactics.

you bowed upon reaching his presence, the sunlight illuminating his handsome face. “thank you for inviting me, your highness.” chan stands right up, a slight shock on his face before swiftly recovering.

"i told you before, y/n. there's no need for formalities, just chan is fine." he sends you a warm smile and pulls out a chair for you.

the spread before you was amazing. tons of decadent pastries and cookies were laid in a dessert tier, making your mouth water in anticipation. 

“please, help yourself to some tea.” he takes the beautifully painted porcelain pot, pouring some of the aromatic tea in your cup. the steam from it flows up to the air, filling the table in it's light and refreshing scent. the atmosphere starts to dwindle into quietness, the breeze and wildlife surrounding you filling in it's silence.

"...was there something you'd like to talk about?" you cock your head to the side. he looks a little flustered, but ultimately nods. 

"-yes, actually." chan sighs out while he traces the rim of his tea cup, evading your curious eyes.

"did...your parents ever bother you about marriages?" he slowly manages to get out, stumbling through the sentence.

the tea cup you held in your hand freezes in place. now that he had mentioned it, your father and mother always brought up the idea of marrying. they were always pestering you, wondering when their only child was going to settle down. they stopped one day however, just like that. you wondered if your years of rejecting the idea itself had worked or they simply got tired. but you wondered what brought this on? were his parents arranging him with someone?   

"forgive me, i do not mean to be so straight forward." chan coughs into his hand, noticing the lack of reply and turned his head away in slight embarrassment.

"it's alright." you place your cup down on its saucer, secretly admiring how the tips of his ears redden so quickly. "but now that you've brought it up, yes i have."

"i see," the tea was abandoned now, left to cool in the summer shade. “i’ve heard my father speak about an arranged engagement for me a few years ago.”

you politely nod, urging him to continue. now you’re curiosity is piqued. although, you’re not entirely sure why he had come to talk to you about this, plenty of your shared friends and acquaintances had gotten proposals and arrangements.

“that was back then, however. my father got tired of me refusing to settle down and dropped it all together." you rest your chin on your palm, his words strikingly familiar.

“he never told me the specifics but i’m pretty sure he was talking about you.”

something between a choke and a sputter left your lips, “what?”

“it’s true.” he says it as if it wasn’t earth shattering news for you. "father wanted me to marry the heir to house l/n."

you could only gape at him akin to a fish, not knowing how to digest the information given to you. 

"truthfully, i didn't know you well back then, that's why i declined." chan shifts in his seat, unfolding his legs and turning fully to you. so that was why they had stopped. "but i would have been happy to accept it now, if i had known it was you.” 

an intense heat started to creep up your neck upon his confession, a rosy hue dusting your cheeks and tinting your ears impossibly red.

“you mean-” chan nods at your conclusion and smiles, his eyes crinkling in amusement. he would have accepted?

“i don’t think we would have been close if we were married.” you say whilst scooping up a spoonful of cake, distracting yourself from the violent wave of emotions you felt. it was contradictory, but chan seemed to hum in agreement.

“i think you’re right. i’m glad we met this way though.”he sucks in a breath- a cute habit of his that you have observed even back then. 

chan then asks you in a soft voice, staring deep into your eyes. “we can start over if you’d like.”

“i’d like to get to know you.”

you lean your elbows on the table, the wind flowing gracefully through your hair as you muster out a grin. "i would like that."

the rest of the afternoon was spent comfortably in each other’s presence, finally eating the sweets laid before you two while catching up.

“t’was such a pleasure.” chan offered his hand for you to hold when it was time to retire back inside, placing a chaste kiss on the ridge of your knuckles. 

“my, my. you flatter me.” you chuckle, covering your mouth.

from the corner of your vision, you could faintly make out felix in the grassy meadow, sitting down in what seems to be his own table and sipping his own tea. he sends a cheery thumbs up upon seeing you and chan glance at him. chan’s face reddens, hiding sheepishly in his hands as you laugh.

[struwberrii]

can you do hq headcanons with an s/o who gets really emotional for small things? like cute cats, and ending to a movie, etc? idc who else is in it but one including kenma would be nice :)

emotional s/o ⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

sorry for getting to this so late!! i hope you guys like it though ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ also none of this is proofread so sorry in advance lol

you were sitting on the opposite side of the couch from your boyfriend, the both of you sitting in comfortable silence while doing whatever it was you were doing. you found yourself scrolling endlessly on instagram reels before you found a video of a fawn and a small child playing together on opposite sides of a backyard fence (yes, i have cried to this exact video bc of how cute it was) you couldn’t help but mumble a small “oh my gosh” under your breath before your free hand came to cover your mouth.

this small movement, however, caught your boyfriends attention. he looked up from his phone to see you, mouth covered, teary eyed and staring down at your phone. “what happened? you okay?” he asks scooting over to your side to hug you, assuming you had heard bad news or something.

you turned your phone to show him the video of the deer and baby and you swear that you caught him raising an eyebrow before he looked back at you.

“you’re crying over this?” he says, not breaking eye contact. instead of answering his semi rhetorical question, you looked down to your lap, feeling a bit embarrassed before you felt a cold hand tilt your chin back up to meet your boyfriends eyes, a smirk decorating his face now.

“everything you do is so cute, y’know that?” he brought his free hand to your cheek to wipe your tears for you before giving you a light yet caring peck on the forehead.

kenma, semi eita, osamu, suna, sugawara (9/10 he ends up crying with u LMAO) tsukishima, futakuchi, tendou (in a WAY more teasing tone than all the others) komori motoya, kunimi,

[cartierre]

VIDEO GAMES | ls2

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU logan sargeant x fem!streamer!girlfriend

side note: the youtube profile took me forever to edit because i couldn't find a nice template so i did it myself. nearly ripped my hair out, but now i have a template to reuse!

♡ liked by alex_albon, logansargeant, mickschumacher and 398,003 others

yourusername this is how i'm living life knowing my biggest haters are also my biggest fans <3

view all 1,739 comments

user1 an icon. a legend. she is the moment. ⤷ user2 nah she's annoying ⤷ yourusername and this is what i mean by my caption user2

alex_albon twitch collab when? ⤷ yourusername when we're in the same time zone

user3 all the hate just proves her point lmao ⤷ user4 we love to see an unbothered queen

logansargeant she a baddie, she know she a ten comment liked by yourusername ⤷ user5 LOGAN IS SO REAL FOR QUOTING ICE SPICE ⤷ user6 this is so random i love him for that

♡ liked by logansargeant, pierregasly, yukitsunoda0511 and 401,829 others

tagged: alex_albon, logansargeant, yukitsunoda0511

yourusername miami dUmP (i was told a dump is only a good dump if yuki is included)

view all 1,927 comments

user7 bless pierre for his yuki in every dump agenda ⤷ user8 she's so real for doing it as well

user9 when will there be a new stream? ⤷ yourusername soon!

logansargeant 🦅🇺🇸 ⤷ yourusername stop

user10 so she's the one that hates men? ⤷ yourusername yes ⤷ user11 Y/N HAHA I LOVE HER ⤷ logansargeant that's the one

user12 she looks fun, but then i watch one of her streams and i get second-hand embarrassement in an instant ⤷ yourusername tomato tomato tomato, i'm throwing tomatoes

user13 the way she has to defend herself against every mean comment gives me child behaviour. can't handle hate? don't become a public figure ⤷ logansargeant someone doesn't seem to understand sarcasm.

pierregasly good one!

♡ liked by logansargeant, dennis_hauger and 378,938 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername two years with this clown

view all 1,639 comments

user14 she's calling her boyfriend a clown? look in the mirror, ma'am ⤷ yourusername it's called "having a sense of humor" look it up ;)

user15 omg congrats!!!

user16 the cutest couple fr <3

logansargeant my lucky charm 🍀 ⤷ yourusername i will try and project all my luck on you in spain ⤷ williamsracing we're begging you

logansargeant i love you ⤷ yourusername say sike rn comment liked by logansargeant

user17 y/n's kinda mean to logan or is it just me ⤷ logansargeant she's wired differently

[vamphrrr]

Hi!! i loved your tough love fanfic of clarisse! so i decided to ask if you can make a clarisse la rue , (aphrodite child) reader, but she’s not some normal teenager… she’s a princess if you get what im saying??? lets say that aphrodite dated a princess and had a child with him before she left, and so that’s where reader grew up, no one knew that the reader was a princess u til she told clarisse, she was really worried clarisse was gonna hate her but clarisse is like “Woah me mad at you? no way” and clarisse supports her! (Including some kissing, flirting, it would be super nice if the reader was shorter the clarisse probably up to her chest like in the tough love fanfic!)

notes ; omgggg this is so cute!! i’m so glad u liked my last fic i was nervous about posting 😭. also i’ll be making clarisse call reader princess too now knowing SHE IS ONE! they’re already dating in this. i used the same banner bc i’m too lazy to create new ones based on plot LMAO. i wrote this so soon but sometimes if anyone requests it might take me a couple of days bc of school and stuff! think i went a little overboard with this one. i should probably start counting how much i write lol.

%% are you mad?

in which your super attractive girlfriend finds out the secret you’ve been hiding from her for so long. also, she accidentally meets your dad.

— clarisse la rue x f!aphrodite!reader

warnings ; reader has doubts, tall & buff clarisse / short reader (again), flirty!clarisse flirty!clarisse, a little angst?, kissing, two swear words, flustered reader (oh how the turned tables), ooc clarisse? (i’m never sure if i write her right), one suggestive thought in the first paragraph (nothing happened tho!). a little too much background i think… too much father, did my daddy issues come out? made reader’s dad a king bc plot reasons, maybe more emotional than requested srry😭

You couldn’t believe you were doing this. Sneaking off from your girlfriend’s warm bed in the middle of the night. For a minute, you wondered how’d that look to anyone watching. A girl hastily running from a cabin that she very obviously did not belong in, a long shirt —it was Clarisse’s— accompanied by small shorts, (which were not visible might you add). Oh and how could you forget, you were barefoot. Who’s bright idea was that? Oh, yeah, yours. Why?

Gods were you cold. Should’ve brought a jacket, you thought.

The bottom of your feet hurt, stepping on rocks and sticks and who knows what else would do that to you. Next time, you would definitely bring hiking boots or something. And a jacket. In the forest, you were far away from anybody that might disturb you. Pulling Clarisse’s shirt up until your shorts were visible, you dug your hand inside the pocket, meeting with a drachma. You approached the round well, splashing water mist being met with sunlight from below, creating a rainbow.

How? It was the middle of the night. Why was the sun inside? You decided not to think about it.

This well was old, dirty from not being used much. See, not many people knew about it. Apparently, it was for those that needed to talk to somebody reallyyyy privately, that’s why it was hidden in the forest, only appearing at night. You weren’t sure how that worked, but you stumbled upon it a couple of years back when you were being chased by wood nymphs for being out at night. They found you, obviously. Punishment was not escapable and you ended up having to clean the stables the day after you got your nails done. Yuck.

Now here you were again, this being the only place where you could speak to your father without anyone finding you. It’s not that you were embarrassed of him per say, it was that you really didn’t want anyone to know that you were a royal. I mean, how ironic was that? A daughter of Aphrodite, a Princess? Forget it. You’d get made fun of for the rest of your life. You especially didn’t want Clarisse to know. She was your girlfriend yes, and this was something very important that you needed to tell her about, but you weren’t sure how’d she react. You knew she wouldn’t make fun of you like others would, but you didn’t know if dating a literal Princess was too much of a deal breaker for her.

Being with a royal was too stressful, there was so much that they’d get criticized for and so little people that they’d be accepted by. Your dad was a King with many past lovers, Aphrodite included. The people loved her, I mean, who wouldn’t? But then she was gone, disappearing the same night she gave birth to you. Your dad knew of her, of this. He knew she’d be gone by the time the sun rose. Yet, he did nothing. Who was he, than just a mortal man? He could not stop a goddess from leaving.

He got with others after that, your dad had a lot of love to give. Maybe that was something that attracted your mother to him. Public lovers were not taken well, the people respected the King, sure, they just didn’t respect his partners. Constant judging, constant eyes following their every move, constant hatred being thrown, constant stress on their shoulders. In the end, they could never take it. Running away or completely disappearing seemed to be something they all had in common. Your father had to give up on love, small secret romances blossomed for a while, but never enough for it to go public.

That is why you were so scared to tell Clarisse of your status. She was smart, she’d realize being with you would not be worth the hassle. She’d leave you just like everyone else left your father. Clarisse was the love of your life, you don’t think you’d be able to handle it if she left.

You threw the drachma in, calling for the rainbow goddess to let you see your father.

“Dad,” you said, once the back of his head was visible.

He jumped, turning around. “Oh! My dearest daughter, you scared me.” He laughed a bit, looking at you with such soft eyes it almost made you cry. “Why are you Iris messaging me at this hour? Isn’t it time for you to be resting?”

You swallowed, a sudden knot appearing in your throat. “I just needed someone to talk to.” Playing with the ring around your finger that Clarisse gave you for your one year anniversary, you choked out. “I have this amazing girlfriend, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me here at camp and—” You stopped talking, taking a small breath, not noticing the familiar figure of Clarisse standing a couple of feet behind you. “—and I’m scared to tell her that I’m not who she thinks I am. That I’m not this girl that just so happens to be a daughter of Aphrodite. I love her so much and I want to tell her about you. I want to bring her to you in person because I want the two people I love the most to meet. But how do I do that when I haven’t even told her I’m a Princess and that the only way you two could meet is if I took her to our royal palace?”

Your father widened his eyes, not expecting his little girl to burst out her feelings just like that. He sighed, glancing behind your shoulder. “If this girl you love so much really loves you like you do her, she wouldn’t care about your status.” Staring at who he assumed was your girlfriend behind you, he continued. “She wouldn’t care that you hid this from her. Instead, she’d try to see it from your point of view.” Moving his eyes away from Clarisse, he looked at you, eyes squinting in light mischief. “You should tell her, she’ll understand. I love you.” Is all he said, before he was gone.

You’re left staring at a rainbow, your dad nowhere in sight. Suddenly, a branch broke from behind you. Turning around quickly, heart beating rapidly, you’re met with the eyes of your girlfriend. You immediately let out a gasp, not knowing she was there.

Clarisse speaks up. “You’re a Princess?”

You felt your mouth dry up. With wide eyes, you respond. “Please don’t hate me! I didn’t know how to tell you!” Walking closer to her, you reached your hands out, grabbing one of her own with both of yours. “Please, you have to understand. I didn’t want this to ruin us.”

She stayed silent.

Silence was haunting, especially coming from Clarisse, someone who was always provoking people and boasting loudly everywhere. You gulped, with lips shaking you asked, “A-are you mad?”

She lets out a huff. Was something funny? Was she annoyed? Angry? Did she not care at all? Those were the questions running through your mind. You’d find out the answers soon enough.

“Woah,” she shook her head, letting you see the slight amused smile on her face. “Me? Mad at you? No fucking way.” She reached her free hand towards your face, moving away the strand of hair that fell slightly over your eye. “It just… surprised me s’ all.”

You let out a breath, relaxing and putting your head against her chest. “Thank the gods, I thought you were going to break up with me or something.”

Reaching out again, she placed her forefinger below your chin, raising your head to meet her eyes. “How could I ever break up with someone so beautiful?” She leaned down, your lips grazing against each other’s. “Why would I leave when I can now be your knight in shining armor?” Closing the distance, your eyes fluttered shut. Butterflies were in your stomach just like the first time you two ever kissed. Without your lips separating, she put one arm around your waist, the other grabbing below your thighs, hoisting you up.

“Ah!” you screamed, separating your lips, not expecting it.

Clarisse smirked, seeing you get flustered. “You don’t have any shoes on.” You pouted, putting your arms around her neck so you wouldn’t fall while she walked back (not that she would let you fall off in the first place). “Didn’t think I’d notice, did you, princess?” Teasingly, she used the pet name, now knowing how much truth was behind it.

You whined, pressing your face against her neck. “You’re so unfair. I’m supposed to be the one flustering you.”

“Awe, the princess is mad,” she cooed, letting her lips touch the tip of your ear. “You want me to get on one knee and apologize?”

Clarisse laughed when you let out a loud groan, hitting her lightly on the chest. Smiling, she knew the only way she’d ever leave you was if she was six feet under. And even then, she’d find a way to get back to the land of the living just to be by your side.

The only things heard in the dead of night were the grasshoppers, chirping their little melodies into the darkness. That was until you muttered sleepily, letting out a yawn. “I love you.”

Clarisse repeated after you. “I love you.” Feeling your eyes fluttered close, she followed it with an almost silent “goodnight.”

Now that you were asleep, she felt panic slowly rise, steps quickening to reach the Ares cabin faster. She could only think about two things now.

Holy shit, she’s a Princess. Oh my gods, I met her dad.

[lovefrombegonia]

Just random rambling on Shen Jiu:

Shen Jiu is so great. Like he despises men but also finds the company of women embarrassing. He hates when someone has authority on him but also knowingly, intentionally makes bad, horrible, villainous decisions. His introduction was him about to smash a kid's brain out because the kid was "taking the best begging spot". He has so much ego, so much superiority complex but also dying with deep inferiority complex. What is...WTF is wrong with him?? Like, babygirl, sit down? Have a tanghulu? Drink some relaxing tea?? Stop abusing the child, and maybe get some therapy?? Stop projecting on your female disciple, you fucking weirdo?? Stop abusing your soulmate??? But no. HE KNOWS ALL OF THE WRONG HE IS DOING. He knows he is a bitch ass loser. And he will still pretend to be the master of the universe. He is like "I can tell myself I am doing wrong but YOU CAN'T DO THAT." Shen Jiu is a clown. A clown. Who won't leave my mind. He is just there, you know. Just there at the corner of my mind, glaring at me with his arrogant stare. A clown, an idiot, an insufferable gremlin. He is a ghoul with a pretty face but his prettiness is lost in the ugly scowl.

I saw this post on twt talking about SJ is NOT a misogynist. And I agree. He is not a misogynist, by definition. He doesn't hate women. He just doesn't think women are a threat to him, which gives him some sense of safety. But he also thinks women are weak. So, in that way, you could say he is one. But I don't think so, personally. He is a misandrist tho. He hates all men. He even hates himself LMAO

This is why his loyalty towards Yue Qingyuan is so confusing. Him saving Liu Qingge is confusing. He spared the women in the house when killing them all, yes, including qiu haitang, when he would have saved himself a lot of trouble, if he was able to do that. Like, what happened, babes? Did your long dead conscience wake up for a second? His long dead conscience also seems to wake up at the cost of his IQ because the dude will not even clear up any misunderstandings. I remember a great line in ATLA series said by Iroh. I am paraphrasing: pride is not an absence of shame/inferiority but source of it. This applies SO WELL to this infuriating man. This fucking joker sitting at the corner of my mind. He has so much ego. So much of "ooff they hate me anyways, why bother even clearing up" and "they are beneath me, why should I clear up". He really manifested his own fall from grace. He even realised he is manifesting all that but he won't clear it up. Why didn't he even clear up that Qiu House was abusing him when QHT blamed him? Was he too ashamed to tell others that he was so "weak", he was beaten by those men? I really find him annoying...

And he genuinely didn't think that yqy won't just give up his life for him...huh... Umm? He protected you when he genuinely thought you murdered your martial brother. How did that not click?? You thought he did that coz you thought that he thought this will stain his "honor" if this thing comes out in the open, but it was ALREADY OUT IN THE OPEN!!!

Actually, ykw I am stopping rn coz this clown is pissing me off. See, this is why, I don't like thinking too much about him coz he just sucks me in. Just SUCKS ME IN LIKE A BLACKHOLE. He is a blackhole. He is terrifying, fascinating, he cannot be defined in simple terms but also simply calling him a scum makes sense. If Shen Jiu could become a heavenly demon, he would manifest as the god of rot and vengeance. He rots everything he touches and vengeance defines his rise in and fall from power.

[liliths-missing-pen]

hii!! This probably sounds weird but im gonna try making it sound better😭😭

I would like to request floyd, idia, azul, and lilia (or malleus instead of lilia) with a bitey s/o! That sounds weird but i mean- an mc who bites them, but not too hard,, almost playful, and friendly (?) I would like to clarify that theyre not a child, just a really bitey 18 y/o😭

Can be platonic or romantic! Tysm for even reading this, and writing this even tho it sounds so, so weird, and silly😓😇 (honestly not sure if ure even gonna write this but hopefully nlng,, thankyu po😇)

Floyd, Idia, and Azul with a S/O Who Likes To Bite Them!

I hope you don't mind that I made it kind of like impulsive thoughts that the mc actually goes through with. But oh my goodness I had this request sitting on the bottom of my inbox and drafts because of school... I also had no clue what to write for Lilia or Malleus so I apologize. I hope you enjoy it though!

Masterlist

Floyd Leech

Okay but like let's be honest here. Floyd is biting you back lmao.

The first time you bit him he was probably confused but probably giddy just from excitement.

I can see Floyd being a bitty child as he grew up just trying to bite anyone he could. Yes, Floyd has at least tried to bite Azul once when they were children. This would be an expression of him being happy, content or protective of a friend Floyd.

So when he realized you liked biting him, he was excited he could regain his bitty habits, much to Azul's dismay.

If you ever bite him whether it be in public or private be ready to be bitten back.

"Oh, Shrimpy wants to play today?~" Floyd stated as he gave you a toothy grin. You laughed nervously, glancing up at the 6-foot lanky eel. "So what if I do?" You joke, turning your heel to head to the VIP room which Azul had called you to previously in the day.

Floyd wasn't having it though, gaining a tight grasp on your wrist and pulling you back to see his heterochromatic eyes staring down at you. "Nuh uh uh~ Shrimpy want to play, so I want to play too!" He said gleefully as he went to nibble on your ear, making you shriek.

"Floyd we're out in public you can't do right now," you scolded him. "Big talk for a shrimp who bit me first,~" he slyly smirked at you as his grasp on your wrist loosened but as you started to walk away into the Monstro Lounge's VIP room you knew that this incident wasn't going to be dropped when you visited Floyd later.

Azul Ashengrotto

Once again I headcanon that Floyd was a biter as a child. This means that Azul has had his encounters with people who seem to not think exactly before they do something

Not saying that you were exactly like Floyd but it does give Azul flashbacks when he feels your teeth on his supple skin.

He has and will yelp if you catch him off guard. Depending on whether you're in public or not he will shoot you a glance saying "Stop, people are watching."

He's learnt how to deal with you and your... Biting tendencies and he loves you for it. He's begun to tease you for it at times as well when he's bold just to see that red hue creep up on your cheeks and that adorable embarrassed face you make.

However, he won't be as pleased if you and your impulsive thoughts bite him when he's in an important meeting for the lounge...

Ever since you and Azul got together, it became normal to see you sitting in his office, sometimes even during his meetings. In the dimly lit room chatter amongst the two parties, "Mr. McCo, I understand there's been a recent storage of chickens but that's no reason to jump the prices by 10 dollars by the pound."

"Mr. Ashengretto, that's just how it works there's been a much more scarcity of chicken that I must make this price jump."

You were just sitting beside Azul not paying too much attention to the bargaining at hand and instead the light on the ceiling. Your eyes wandered till you saw Azul's shoulder. You wondered how it would feel if you just..

CHOMP!

Well, there goes that business deal.

Idia Shroud

Congrats, you broke him.

Okay but seriously though, Idia has never really had confidence and this concept bled into his thoughts about his appearance. He has flaming hair and sharp, shark-like teeth due to his family curse. Anything related to it he despises with all of his being.

I could see the two of you petty bickering about something, probably game-related and it morphs into something else leading to his appearance. Off-handedly mentioning how he's "scary and could eat you with his sharp teeth."

You can imagine at that goes over, the two of you bursting out in laughter at the stupidity.

Then suddenly, CHOMP!

You jokingly made an attempt on his arm.

Idia yelped at the sudden movement you made on him pulling back his arm. "What- What was that for?!" He exclaimed, "There's more than one person who can bite." You snicker, and in return, Idia stares at you in horror.

"I- What the hell is wrong with you?!"

---

Yeah... Maybe don't bite Idia lol

I take commissions!

[dotster001]

It makes me want to read something sad. For example, there is a celebration at the college, but Remshekle does not participate in it because it is not official. Crowley tells MC and Grim that they can't participate in the preparations for the holiday and come to it because they are banned. MC agrees, but is still upset. What happened next I can't think of, but I would like some angst. How will the dorm leaders react to this?

That's What Friends are For

A/N: Hopefully this is what you were looking for. I got some angst in there, but also comedy and a nice ending, even if it's not the expected ending. I'm not super good at solely angst 😂

3k follower Masterlist

"Due to budgeting constraints, we cannot allow unofficial dorms to participate in founder's day activities."

"Oh. Okay. I understand. That's fine. I get it."

"I appreciate your benevolence with this decision."

You stood up from your seat, and left Crowley's office.

You knew that you were living here for free, in an unofficial dorm, nonetheless, so really that you could even be allowed to attend the festival at all was generous in itself. But your friends had been going on and on about the stuff they got to present, and the new costumes they would get to wear that represented the icon of their dorm.

You were honestly more upset that you'd have to tell Grim. He had been so excited to have a cool new outfit. His sad little face would just devastate you.

But you'd get through it. And maybe he'd understand. One day.

….

"Where is my child of man?" Malleus asked. He had finally been informed about a housewarden meeting, and was distraught that his favorite person seemed not to be present.

"Ramshackle is not participating in the founders day parade," The headmage said off hand as he continued to inspect the paperwork Azul had brought forth regarding the founders day buffet menu.

"Pardon?" Riddle seemed startled.

"With having to feed, house, and teach them on our dime, the Ramshackle budget, which was nearly non-existent as an unofficial dorm, is completely drained."

"But it's founders day. Ramshackle was there at the opening, wasn't it?" Leona said with a glare, sparking some widened eyes around the table.

"Yes, but-"

"You only have an 800th anniversary once!" Kalim burst out. "I can pay for their outfits and exhibits if I need to!"

"As could any one of us at this table. And everyone of us would without a second thought," Vil mused. "So I think something else must be going through that bird brain of yours."

Crowley stood from his place at the table, feathers clearly ruffled.

"How dare you insinuate anything less than benevolence on my part! I am simply trying to care for this school-"

"You didn't think about it, did you? Lmao," Idia's tablet cackled.

Crowley's jaw opened and closed a couple of times, before he said, "I am aware of the monetary situation of our housewarden, I just did not wish to infringe upon-"

"Damn, the turnip was right. You really didn't even think about it," Leona laughed.

"So we'll fund their part of the festival. What is our next topic?" Malleus sighed out in relief. He didn't want to even be part of this festival without you. The stares and whispers without your gentle reassurances would be overwhelming.

"No, no, the decision is final. Besides, Ramshackle doesn't have a known founder. Whoever they are was lost to time!" Crowley snapped, clearly embarrassed, and also very stubborn.

"-They can just dress in the Queen of Hearts' inspired attire-"

"-Obviously they will borrow clothing from my grandmother's collection.-"

"-They would look fetching in the fairest Queen's robes.-"

Three voices spoke up at once, and all three turned to glare at each other.

"See! This is why they can't participate! Ramshackle's participation will only sow dissent amongst you. Now let's move on!" Crowley cried, beginning to sweat from the rising hostility levels.

"Oh, shut it!" Leona snapped, before turning back to the housewardens. "It's obvious they'd look the best in an outfit designed after the king of beasts."

"Imagine how op they'd look designed after the god of the dead!" Idia mused behind the tablet, seemingly not realizing he hadn't muted himself.

"Probably not as "op" as if they looked like an octo mer," Azul hissed through a tight smile. "Imagine the radiance and brilliance of-"

"Both of you are gross," Vil snapped. 

"Why are they gross?" Kalim asked.

"Because they don't care about the festival, anymore. They just want to see Y/N in looks they find hot, and can slobber over" Leona grinned.

"Like your intentions are oh so pure!" Idia's tablet screeched.

The table erupted into shouts, the meeting long forgotten as Crowley curled up in a ball in his chair.

Meanwhile….

"We've all discussed it," Ace said as he sat on your bed. It seemed he was the appointed spokesperson of the first year crew.

"We aren't going to let the two of you wallow in despair while we have fun. So we aren't going to have fun either," he said with his signature grin splitting his face.

"None of us are going to participate in the festival!" Ortho interrupted, clearly too excited to wait for Ace to be dramatic.

"Damn it, Ortho! I was supposed to say it!" Ace pouted.

"Language! He's a child!" Sebek hissed.

"He's in advanced potionomics with the third years. He'll be fine," Epel rolled his eyes. 

"But you were all so excited to participate," you said, covering Grim's mouth to keep him from immediately agreeing to their thought process without a second thought.

"It's not fun without you," Jack muttered, looking anywhere but you.

"Look, like it or not, you've woven yourselves so tightly into our lives that we wouldn't enjoy ourselves if you weren't a part of it!" Deuce stated factually, his cheeks turning red as he realized what he said.

"So, like they all said, we aren't going to wear any cool costumes, or work at an exhibit, or eat at an all you can eat buffet-"

"IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT?" Grim screamed.

"Because we're gonna boycott the whole thing and have fun doing something else," Ace finished with a glare.

"Forget it Y/N. Forget them!" Grim cupped your face with his paws, looking earnestly into your eyes. "There's an all you can eat buffet! I don't need a fancy costume! Let's go to the buffet!"

You gently shifted Grim to your lap, and scratched his ears. "You guys, I don't know what to say. That's so sweet of all of you!"

"Yeah, we're pretty cool," Epel grinned.

"Buffet…" Grim sadly trailed off, knowing he'd lost.

"And we can find even cooler outfits while we're out!" Ortho cheered, excitement clear as he buzzed quickly around the room. 

"Honestly, it was less about the outfits, and more about feeling left out," you said with a sad smile.

"We know," Ace grinned, playfully nudging you with his shoulder.

"It's alright, we can beat up Crowley so he lets you participate next year," Deuce grinned maniacally, wrapping an arm around your other shoulder as he sat next to you, nuzzling his head against yours when you set it on his shoulder.

"Besides, if I let my Liege's dearest friend be sad, what kind of knight would I be!" Sebek said with a grin.

"Dude, don't pretend this is just about Malleus. You totally were about to cry when you heard they were sad."

"NO I WASN'T!"

You giggled, watching as your idiot friends began to yell at one another. This was what you really would have been disappointed to miss. But luckily, thanks to how amazing they were, and how much they cared about you, you wouldn't have to miss it.

[elliesmainhoe]

PLAYER TWO

Streamer!Ellie X fem!Reader

Summary: Ellie's introduces you to her stream

(Set early in their relationship and when Ellie's channel was still small 💙)

Contents: fluff, swearing/cursing, body shaming a cat lmao, sitting on Ellie's lap, kisses, references to social anxiety.

Part 2 - Part3

My Masterlist

It had been 6 hours since Ellie had disappeared into the abyss you called your guest bedroom and now Ellie's newly turned office. Her rooms grey walls were plastered in posters of a various games and bands she liked. LED lights ran around the ceiling, usually on the blue setting, sending the hue beaming out through the crack underneath the white paneled door.

Your small ginger cat was scratching irritably at her offices door. "Garfield stop it," you hissed at him, giggling at the ridiculous name Ellie chosen out for your chunky British shorthair.

"Garfield, I'm serious" you hushed at the creature, picking up the skittish chonk from Ellie's door. Garfield let out a loud, dramatic 'Yowww' throwing his head back. you sighed "You really want Ellie cuddles right now huh"

"meow"

"yeah, me too..." You looked at the beautifully majestic ginger chunk of a cat and sighed in pity for yourself. "Fine go in then..." You whispered at him, grabbing the brass handle and slowly nudging the wooden door ajar, letting Garfield scutter in enthusiastically, before shutting the door again.

Ellie was caught off guard as a fuzzy orange thing flung itself onto her lap, making her hands stop button smashing her keyboard angrily.

"Oh hey Garf"

User: Omg he's so cute 😭🥲

User1: Give me the baby. Now.

User2: Bro how did he get in here, didn't Ellie shut her door?

User3: Garf? As in garfield?

Ellie's hands grasped the cat turning him in a Simba like fashion towards the camera.

"This is Garfield, if you couldn't tell he has a super power to walk through walls" she joked, obviously realising that her chat was curious about how he got into the enclosed office.

User 4: He's fat

"Do not talk to my child that way." She snapped sarcastically, covering his ears with her palms "he's plump." She corrected before letting out a breathy laugh.

The cat began purring incredibly loudly, now laying across her keyboard vibrating the desk with every exhale of breath.

She picked up her phone discreetly, texting you a quick.

Ells: Gonna have to gaslight my chat into thinking our cat can phase through walls now.

Ells: Oh the things I do for you

You: He was being so annoying thoughhh

Ells: Garf is never annoying, he is perfect in everyway. You're just in denial.

You :🙄

User5: nah but how did it get in

User6: Ghostcat?!?!?

"Yes this is my ghost cat, it seems like he's going to chill with us for a bit.... Aren't you baby~?" she cooes at the purring creature scratching underneath his chin.

Just outside the closed office door, you were pacing back and forth. Shit... Why the fuck did you let the cat in her room, that was the stupidest shit you've ever done. Now everyone was going to know Ellie lived with someone. Then maybe they'll investigate, because some of her fans might be nutjobs. What if they dig something embarrassing up of you?!?

"shit, shit ,shit, shit, idiot, idiot, fucking idiot." Damn you and you're soft heart when it comes to cats.

"Y/N. Just forget it happened, go to bed sleep it off, yeah let's just... Sleep it off..." You mutter to yourself, sulking off to bed in defeat.

•••••

"Hey... Hey baby... Wake upppppp~~" she whines squishing your cheeks with her hand, stirring from your slumber. "Hmm hi Ells..."

At the confirmation you were awake she started peppering your face with kisses. "I made you coffee, I tried to make pancakes but I uh burnt them, so ughh toast?!" She smiles suspiciously giddy.

"oh thank you baby," you murmur back, slowly sitting up, back against the bed's backboard and begining to sip your coffee.

"I don't know how you can stomach that liquid, it tastes like shit."

"It is gross, but I can't physically function without it" you looked over at her, she was showing you puppy eyes. Suspicious.

"What did you do ells...?" You sighed

"Last night I may or may not have accidentally let it slip that uhh, I had a uh girlfriend." She stammered, smiling sheepishly at you " And I was wondering and you can obviously say no!! Like no pressure at all, but I was wondering if you feel ready yet to be introduced by my stream" she rushed out words practically incoherent, and if you didn't know her so we'll you wouldn't have been able to understand.

"you can even bring Garfield with you for emotional support!" She chirped happily.

"I don't know baby... I don't know if they'll like me, all my friends know me for being awkward on camera."

"Listen to me right now. You are the most amazing, beautiful, funny, charismatic and smartest girlfriend, person and mother to our fur baby to ever exist. If they don't absolutely love you then they're blind and have no taste. But they will absolutely love you! Because I love you!" She says enthusiastically, a stupid smile spread on her face as she wraps her arms around you, placing sloppy kisses onto your cheek.

"Pfft" you say, her enthusiasm and happiness seeping from her into yours "okay, I can do that...I think" "You will!!! You'll do amazing!" She squeals "I'm so excited!"

"Gosh, your like a puppy Ells" you chuckle, petting and playing with her hair. She let out a quiet 'hmph' as she nuzzled into your neck happily.

•••••

It was 6:55pm, Ellie had started her stream, the words 'STARTING SOON' sprawled across the monitor, blocking out the view of the viewers, It was unnerving, siting Infront of a camera, and one push of a button hundreds of people would see you. Ellie was sat next to you, swiveling on the dark blue gaming chair absentmindedly.

"y'know baby, you don't have to be so rigid, or quiet, they can't see or hear you yet."

"I can't do it Ells..." You mumbled out. "Hey babe, you absolutely can." she reassured you grabbing your hand, and squeezing it slightly. "How about this. You sit on the couch, out of view with Garfield, and once I've done the intro you can come say hi. Hows that sound?" She asked softly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

Nodding in conformation you shuffled out of view for the camera sitting next to your curled up cat, petting him as he purred loudly, pushing up against your palm. You tapped your phone screen, it lit up revealing the photo of you and Ellie in a photo booth on your first date to an arcade.

Infront of your smiling faces, the time was shown.

06:59:55

06:59:56

06:59:57

06:59:58

06:59:59

07:00:00

"Hey guysssss!"

It took ten minutes for Ellie to finish the introduction, answering questions, thanking donators and talking to moderators.

"Right so, before we start I have a suprise for you guys" she spoke happily, eyes flicking towards you expectantly. You picked up Garfield, your heart immediately slowed and cradled him like a baby in your arms as you entered the frame.

Ellie had moved the extra chair from the frame, trying to keep the suprise as unexpected as she could for her chat. You stood somewhat awkwardly for a second or two saying a quick "hi" to the camera, you looked at Ellie eyes slightly wide with nerves.

She pats her thigh, gesturing you to sit down. "This chat, is my girlfriend"

User7: I ❤️ lesbians

User8: Ugh I'm jealous.

User9: Is Ur gf single?

User10: forget Ellie I want her gf 🤤

Your eyes everted the chat, trying to focus solely on your cat and to not read the comments, when a robotic voice, you recognized as a donators announcement, caught you off guard.

User11 donated $25 'Bro she's so pretty.'

"Oh um thanks *user11*" you hummed. "Told you they would like you" Ellie said, smirking in content.

"shut up."

"never."

---------

Here you go!!! I finally finished it. It's not great but it's done!

Part Two

Streamer!Ellie Headcanons

NOT PROOFREAD