#lmao these r wack i could do better ;u;

[illiteratethekid]

I had to cataloge this. reddit post from r/offmychest

u/BigBingus1337

I (27F) have been struggling with an extremely disgusting problem for 14 years, and I need help.

nsfw

(CW)

Content warning:

Strong depiction of bodily fluids (excrement, urine)

Suicide attempts

Depression

Physical/Sexual/Emotional Abuse

Sexual discussion

Self harm

Just a lot of awful stuff

(CW)

Please be warned, this is an extremely gross, explicit, and hard to handle post. I'm not making this up. This isn't a joke. I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried a lot and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel helpless, ashamed, disgusted, and sub-human.

It's only now after 14 years of this cycle that I've become so, *so* tired of hiding my shame that I can talk about it publicly and reach out for more help, or at least get this off my chest.

If I seem distant or use wack-ass language, it's because I've lived this way for too long to get hung up on making any of this fit "acceptable" language.

It's impossible.

I'm also well aware that this might get memed into oblivion, shared around like "look at this lmao gross", and laughed at.

I get it. I can sort of see how in a sick, fucked-up kind of way this could be funny from an outside perspective.

Comedy helps people cope, ridiculing others is a maladaptive way of comforting oneself.

What I worry about is people not reading this with empathy or a desire to understand, and would rather trash on me and reinforce the hatred I already have for myself and my behaviors.

So just fuckin... be cool.

Please.

For the past 14 years, I haven't been able to stop fingering my ass, defacating on towels/toiletpaper and urinating in bottles/towels/tp/etc.

It has caused me to live in unsanitary, isolating, shameful, and disgusting conditions.

It has cost me my health, happiness, safety, relationships, living situations, and on several occasions, it's caused me to attempt suicide.

I am scared of being somehow shamed more than I shame myself by posting this. I've sought professional help, and it hasn't worked regardless of if its my fault or the help.

About me:

I'm 27, I have a decent job, a good group of friends, recent-ish-ly single, handful of great and awful partners, etc.

I'm trans, she/her. (Please don't be weird. I struggled with this problem well before I had any inkling of gender stuff. That's not how it works)

I've been diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and Clinical Depression.

I have taken pretty standard adhd medication for the last 8 years

I have tried 5 different SSRIs with at best, no effect, and at worst, full blown serotonin syndrome, mild psychosis, and seizures.

Over the years, I've seen 4 therapists for a couple years at a time.

All of which were actually wonderful help for understanding and coping with trauma, depression, ADHD, ASD, and sexual/physical/emotional abuse.

I haven't been able to mend this specific problem, even with their help.

The formatting of this post is really choppy mainly because it's comprised of notes I've taken on this issue in notepad++

Some of it might seem detached or "clinical" because of this.

I use these notes to help analyze the behaviors that are happening and the different emotions and motivators at play.

I have always struggled on-and-off with keeping my personal spaces clean due to whatever cocktail of adhd, depression, asd, whatever.

Trash, rotting food, disorganization, dirty bed, etc.

I'd say it would be 70% as bad as a typical "neckbeard-nest" image you would see.

Never piles so high I couldn't see or leave my space, but, certainly enough to be playing hop-scotch to get around.

Both the depression messes and the defecating problem have gone through cycles of getting slightly better, getting much worse, better again ,etc.

Potential reasons for being Motivated/compelled/habitual fingering my ass for a combination of 2 reasons:

ASD Stimming/comfort/sexual stimulation from prostate when feeling... *something*

Attempts to identify that something lead to maybe these?

- Potentially feeling bored/understimulated

- An emptiness emotionally

2. ASD Sensory issues around feeling unclean after shitting, e.g. still feeling shit inside me and disgust/frustration with how that interferes with #1?

Earliest possible memory/origin of behavior:

Exploring my body/masturbating with anal stimulation around age 12-13.

As with anyone who's done anal, "shit happens", especially when you don't know about cleaning yourself out.

I would end up coming into contact with shit, not knowing what to do, and just wiping it on toilet paper or towels.

I would hide the evidence because I was ashamed and embarrassed.

An unfortunate part of this habit is that fingering your ass causes a feeling of need to urinate.

Whenever I finger my ass, I urinate into toilet paper, a bottle, a container.

This affects my living space by making it unsanitary, extremely unpleasant, and isolating.

This leads to even more unsanitary conditions, more avoidance, procrastination, and shame.

The unsanitary conditions cause a rolling chain of dependency/vicious cycle

For example:

- An area gets gross or unpleasant (typically the bathroom first)

- That area is now more difficult to reach both physically and emotionally

- Procrastination/avoidance/shame/refusal to clean the area

- I am unable to use that area, leading to shitting and pissing in a pile elsewhere

- Causing more spread out messes

- repeat until harsh physical/social consequences or suicidality take hold

- then clean everything top to bottom and try to not get in the cycle again

I always end up back in the cycle.

The anxiety & helplessness around my struggles with this make it impossible to have anyone over

I am too ashamed to ask for help, or accept it when offered.

Friends know I'm depressed and struggle with keeping my spaces clean, but I never tell them the full story. Usually a half-truth.

I often tell my friends they can't come over because "my place is like a wreck, like unsanitary bad".

Which isn't *exactly* wrong, but isn't representative of how bad things actually are.

I feel like the 2 people in my life I've told the real, full details of this to, don't actually understand how bad it really is. They know I've had a *history* of issues with it.

I can't bring myself to tell them that its something I'm still struggling with *now*

The above is driven by shame.

I've done property damage. I've let wet piss soaked towels sit for weeks on beautiful wooden floors, bleaching them and stripping them of their varnish.

I've ruined and thrown out dozens of towels, sheets, carpets.

I've had to cut dried shit out of my own clothing or throw them away.

I've had to throw away wonderful gifts loving family and friends have given me because they were destroyed when I knocked over a months old piss bottle.

I had to steam clean my own shit stains out of carpet when moving out of an old apartment.

I remember sitting there, breaking down at seeing the damage I've caused.

I was so overwhelmed by my own disgust and hatred for my existence.

I got my handgun, put a magazine in, and put it in my mouth, and without a second of hesitation, pulled the trigger.

It sounds kinda dramatic, but I don't remember if I forgot to rack the slide on purpose or by mistake.

Somehow I'm glad I didn't, but there are many times I have regretted not doing it.

When I was in my teens my parents would discover/"catch" me living this way a couple times.

My parents did not handle finding out in a safe or loving way.

Shocker, I know.

They screamed at me that I'll lose all my housing opportunities, friends, and safety net if someone finds out.

And they aren't wrong about the consequences, but all they did was punish me, beat me, strip me of my privacy by removing my door from it's hinges, my healthy hobbies, shame me, and held no space for understanding or help.

They called it a fetish.

It was not.

However in the past year I've explored scat videos. I don't even like it. It's like a sick desperation for understanding what's wrong with me.

I've never in my 14 year history enjoyed living in my own filth.

I think my short exploration of scat as a porn category was just coping with trauma and uncertainty through a sexual lens.

Just fantasizing that I could convince myself its as simple as a fetish or desire, and because of that, it would be okay.

It's not.

It's not a fetish.

I don't enjoy this. I hate this.

This is extremely debilitating, and I don't deserve to go through this, but I can't seem to find a way to stop.

I feel deep shame and unsafety in regards to people finding out, telling them, or anyone helping because they won't understand.

It's hard to put into words how impossible it feels to break this habit.

It feels like when someone tells you the only way to get better is to "love yourself".

Like... what the fuck does that even mean? How? How can you do that if you don't value your own love? Monopoly money has more value than that.

Therapy has helped me cope with those nagging feelings for things like depression, abuse, self-worth, etc.

But changing this behavior feels as impossible as changing the laws of physics.

How do you sit with yourself, the 14th year of trying to outwit your own habits that try to kill you, remove you from society, and ruin everything you love, and say "Well this attempt it's gonna work!" and feel any sort of actual hope? Sure it's writing a fatalistic narrative for myself, and sure it sounds like I've resigned myself to this. What the fuck do I do?

The really sad thing is that I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this weird compulsive fingering and defecation issue.

A quick google search of the behavior leads to a couple forums/quora-like sites of people talking about this behavior and how they can't stop and don't know what it is.

They're desperately trying to find a reason or help. As far as I can tell, they never do.

So its like... what the hell are my chances if dozens of other people are struggling too?

I know my physical safety might concern people reading this. I'm at a point in therapy where suicide really just isn't on the menu for me anymore. I just want to assure readers that I'm not suicidal. I'm gonna keep living. I can't be certain whether or not I'll be living well.

Edit:

To all of you sending me private messages, saying this is hot, asking me to piss on them, getting turned on by this:

I hope you fucking rot. I really do.

As someone in the kink community, I don't shame others for what they like. But you REALLY think its appropriate to come into my DMs from a post where I detail a behavior that drove me to attempt suicide, and start waving your dick around?

There are no words that describe my sheer contempt for you. Rot.

To everyone else: I really appreciate the support and understanding you have provided. The responses have given me a lot to think about, and a lot of potential new paths to go down. Thank you, and I wish you the same care, kindness, and affirmation of humanity you all have provided to me.

[ilyhojoon]

☆Lockscreens☆

[transsexualhamlet]

96 was actually good not clickbait?????

Ok time for the monthly chapter recap for y’all that don’t actually wanna read it

Ok so reminder that 95 was awful and everything that happened was wack, this is still kind of wack but it makes up for 95 by being fucking hilarious in every way plus having some important shit and I think Kagami probably wants to wait it out to 100 before telling us what the hell is going on

Of course, it’s just another Yu squad chapter except now we have Krul with them going like “oh my god these fucking idiots. We also have flashbacks to both Yu and Guren four years ago (which is great as usual) and the never-before-seen BABY VAMPIRE MIKA WITH A S W O R D AAAA and then M I K A Y U U  C O N F I R M E D ????

This is the entire reason i wrote mika’s tragic emo backstory so i’m sad now because kagami actually did it better for fucking once

So first off, we start with Mitsu and Shinoa drunk-attacking the queen, and ending up fucking throwing up on her hands, so she yeets out of there, takes a shower, and steals some random clothes so SHE LOOKS LIKE SO CUTE OMG WTF SHE’S LIKE A C H I L D

DANGER DO NOT TOUCH EXCUSE ME MAAM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

So basically she’s like “hey uh kids wtf is up with you” and yu tells them she wants to help save mika (which it’s still annoying that they’re not being serious about it really but how could you be when she’s dressed like that)

Yu introduces Krul as “asuramaru’s baby sister” and when krul is like “I AM NOT AN INFANT” Yu says he thinks Krul is t h r e e  y e a r s  o l d, and then she corrects him to say “ashera tepes” and he’s like “asura tapes????” love that for him

then we deal with the fact that yoichi, mitsuba, and shinoa are drunk as fuck and lying on the floor half dead

So Kimizuki and Yu’s solution to that problem? Fucking pick them up. Bride carry them. Himbos. Oh my god

YU HAS BOTH GIRLS ON HIS SHOULDERS WHAT A FUCKING CHAD

And kimizuki just there like -_- *carries yoichi*

So once they get to a room that’s not covered in vomit they sit down and try to listen to the queen but yu’s still like fucking insane so he’s not acting well

krul asks where he learned his manners and he’s like “that’s a good question probably guren” we get a few pages of Yu trying to fight with Guren, which Krul thinks is fucking stupid and goes “If I raised you all you’d be way better!” and like literally flashes back to teaching Mika to swordfight, which is like, actually wonderful first confirming

-Krul sees Mika as someone she Raised (she is his mom lmao)

-Mika’s backstory!!!! I found it actually very valid because it said that Mika never cried out or admitted anything hurt when she hit him, even though he was so tiny, that he was so determined to get strong for yu, and kagami o u c h??????

LOOKIT HIM

WITH HIS LIDDOL

TEEF

I CAN’T

So what Krul says is that she wants Yu to Really Sell the fact that he wants to save mika so what yu does is he finally starts to show some real emotion, I still would have liked,,, a lot more, kagami, like, dude, his boyfriend just fucken exploded, but still it was way better than last time???

He literally kneels down on the ground and begs, which is, ouch

“His life is more important to me than my own.”

When Krul sees that, she looks convinced, and she says something that just,,, seems,,, important.

Like

“Ah yes, he has it just as badly. I see. Is this why?” 

I

What

Obviously this isn’t referring to her because she literally just compared her relationship with mika to that of yu and guren’s but that must mean then

She’s talking about Mika. Mika’s feelings for Yu. And she’s seeing right in front of her that Yu feels just as strongly. That’s. Really romantic and really can’t be explained off as platonic because you don’t have Friendship “badly”. it’s clearly a romantic tone, and taking ch. 90 into consideration we might finally actually be getting somewhere??? Cause. Like. 

That’s not even really something that can be explained away with translation? because if you can change “it’s just longing” to “it’s just your garden variety idolization” what the hell must have been in the raws for this, either it is truly this gay or in fact, even gayer

So anyway after that she goes on to say “Is this why you chose to possess him?” to asuramaru which kind of throws us off but still

So she asks the squad to raise their hands if they have black demons

yu takes that, literally

Yu be like 

i throw my hands up in the air sometimes

i just,,,

Yeah so what she says is that everyone’s after them and asks what their goal/side is to which they respond “wat” so she’s like *d e e p  s i g h* ALRIGHT I’M GIVING YOU FUCKERS A PURPOSE AND MY PLAN BEGINS WITH THIS WEIRDO MAHIRU EIGHT YEARS AGO to which shinoa raises her eyebrows and that’s where the chapter ends

all in all

FUCKING BALLER BUT I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT’S UP NOW

[generallynerdy]

Discovery (Rey X Solo!Reader)

Summary: You take the time after the war to bring Rey to Naboo, one of the greenest places in the galaxy. It isn’t hard for you to understand why it was here, of all places, that your grandparents fell in love. The apple apparently doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Requested by Anon: I don’t know much about Star Wars lmao but I think Rey is neat. Can I get a Rey/Reader please? Something fluffy!

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: holy FUCK this is fluffy anon what have you DONE, finnpoe is only background :(, some self deprecation, mentions of character death, unfortunately it follows canon plot but just ignore it and it doesn’t exist, mention of K*lo R*n Word Count: 1,944

Note: u dont know how much strength it took to not put Jar Jar in this fic just because also WOW holy fuck this is so fluffy i think i choked. Oh also please tell me if that idiom in the summary is wrong because growing up bilingual means I Don’t Get Them. anyway sorry i’ve been inactive things have been...wack.

    “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy,” she’d said when you met her what felt like forever ago.

    It broke your heart.

    Your father later said that he could see it in your eyes. You’d spent your whole life travelling the galaxy, experiencing its every wonder, and there was Rey, who had never been off Jakku in her entire life.

    You wanted, at that moment, to drag her back into the Millenium Falcon, point at a map, and tell her to pick a place, any place. More than anything, you wanted to show Rey every corner of the universe, every sand-free planet or moon that you could possibly find.

    The pity the woman thought she saw in your eyes was much more than that; it was horror, despair at what she had missed.

    You eventually settled for showing her Takodana and D’Qar, after your father was killed, but it never sat right with you. The more you got to know Rey and the longer the war dragged on, the more you wanted to give her the infinite freedom she so desperately deserved.

    To put it simply, you wanted nothing less than to hand her the galaxy on a silver platter.

    It wasn’t until the war was over that you finally had the opportunity to do so.

    You and Rey were still travelling with Finn, Poe, Chewie, BB-8, and D-0, as you had since the end of the war. With their help, it was easy to surprise her.

    Carefully, you led her down the Falcon’s boarding platform and onto solid ground. Poe had lovingly donated his jacket to be a blindfold, in order to keep Rey completely in the dark. Luckily, the Force wouldn’t tell her where she was-- it didn’t work like that.

    “I’m not great with surprises,” she warned, gripping your arm tightly.

    “You’ll love this one, I promise. Now, take off your shoes.”

    “What?”

    “Just trust me,” you laughed, having already discarded your own.

    You watched with pure childlike glee as her feet met soft grass. She wiggled her toes about in the dirt, a smile coming to her face. Sure, D’Qar had gotten her used to grass rather than sand, but you were almost certain she’d never taken a moment to go barefoot in it.

    “Grass?” She asked hesitantly. “Where are we?”

    “Only the prettiest planet in the galaxy,” you teased, already reaching forward to pull the jacket from her face. “Welcome to Naboo.”

    When the jacket came off, Rey found herself gaping-- as soon as she’d gotten used to the brightness of a sunny day on Naboo. You’d landed in the middle of a great, grassy field near the edge of a cliff. A waterfall tumbled over the edge of that cliff from a stream, a feature that Naboo was well known for. You were pretty sure Rey had never seen one of those-- something you had to correct.

    *“(Y/N)--” she breathed out, gawking. “I don’t-- I don’t know what to say.”

    You laughed a little. “Neither did I, the first time my mom brought me here. I spent days exploring.”

    “It’s so...alive,” she said, reaching down to feel the grass.

    She meant in the Force, though even the least Force-sensitive person could probably see how alive it was. Naboo was an explosion of light and life, even for those not strong in the Living Force, and could be overwhelming for those who were.

    “C’mon,” you called to her with a smile, holding out your hand. “I know the best place to take it all in.”

    Her lips twitched up into a grin, one of the brightest you’d ever seen from her. Her eyes shined as she reached out, taking your hand in hers and squeezing it as she stood back up. With her free hand, Rey tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and opened her mouth to say something-- but a shout from the Falcon interrupted her.

    “Have fun, lovebirds!” Poe called with a devilish smirk, waving the two of you onward.

    You shot the man a rude gesture that made him cackle. Rey turned bright red, an adorable look on her, you thought, as Poe was dragged back into the ship by Finn, who chewed him out the whole way-- fondly, though.

    (Bittersweetness struck you at the memory of your mother laughing her ass off at the fact that both of her children, blood or otherwise, were head over heels for Force-sensitives.)

    Rolling your eyes, you dragged Rey along through the field at a near sprint. Her musical laughter in your ear made you run faster and hold her hand tighter. The breeze swept up both of your robes and hair, completely ruining your venerated Jedi facade that Rey had insisted upon since getting lightsabers, which you both wore on belts, though they swung wildly now. If your father could see you right now, he would be so, so proud. Uncle Luke would probably cry.

    At the very edge of the cliff, by the waterfall, you came to a skidding stop with a bark of laughter.

    “Now, this is gonna sound crazy--”

    Rey scoffed. “You always sound crazy.”

    “Aw, thanks,” you said, heavy with sarcasm before continuing. “Uncle Luke told me stories about Jedi during the war, how they’d jump off cliffs without a second thought. Ben and I spent weeks practising how to cushion our falls, just so we could be like the old Jedi.”

    Her eyes were wide. “You what?”

    “Yep! And now it’s your turn!” you declared.

    “What? (Y/N)--”

    Before she could panic, you grabbed her hand again. “We’ll jump together and I’ll stop the fall. You’ll be completely safe.”

    She bit her lip. “You’re sure about this?”

    “Completely,” you reassured her. “Do you trust me?”

    Despite herself and her growing fear, Rey smiled. “I do.”

    “Great! On three.”

    “One.”

    “Two.”

    “Three!” the two of you shouted together, racing toward the edge of the cliff.

    Rey was immediately screaming, out of terror at first, but as you tucked her against your side, holding her close against the resistance, the shriek turned into an exhilarated one. You let out a joyful whoop as you went down, Rey’s face buried in the crook of your neck, which only elated you further.

    As the ground grew closer, you pulled on the Force and the two of you touched ground gently, as if you’d never fallen at all.

    Rey didn’t pull away, but laughed gleefully. “That--” she gasped, breathless, “--was amazing.”

    “Wasn’t it?” you asked, grinning. Then you pointed at the horizon ahead. “But the view’s even better.”

    She followed your gesture and froze.

    You were standing on another lush, grass-covered cliffside, as the waterfall tumbled onto a layered terrain, almost like massive steps. After another two layers, the falls gathered into a lake that stretched out for miles. Surrounding the lake were other cliffs with their own waterfalls, towering trees, and blankets of flora. And in the sky, the sun was nearing the horizon, painting the world in pinks and purples and oranges.

    “Sweet Force,” she whispered.

    Your gaze shifted to the woman next to you. You wore a smile that would make Chewie gag.

    The light of the sunset fell gently on her features, outlining her face with an ethereal sort of glow. Her eyes reflected the sparkling water and the sun, a window into her soul and the flame of fierce bravery that you knew she always carried in it. Lips slightly parted in awe, Rey looked more beautiful now than you had ever seen her, watching something so simple, so unknown and taking a galaxy’s worth of joy from it.

    You wanted to see that look on her face every day. You wanted to drag her across the galaxy and show her every corner of it, if only to watch her smile the way she was now.

    “It’s beautiful,” she said in quiet awe and respect.

    You exhaled sharply. “Yeah. You are.”

    She didn’t process your words for a long moment, but when she did, her head snapped over to look at you and her eyes went wide. “(Y/N)...”

    “Rey, can I-- can I tell you a story?”

    She frowned, uncertain, but nodded. Before you could speak, she reached out and took your hand once more, sending a wave of warmth up your arm.

    You smiled and took a deep breath. “When my grandmother was young, she was the Queen of Naboo and, after that, its Senator. My grandfather was a Jedi and-- and he was tasked with protecting her, so he brought her home, brought her here. She showed him everything about this planet: the sights, the people. He was already in love with her then, but it was here that, with nothing but them, the Force, and the life around them, that she realised she loved him back. He was a kid from Tatooine who had never seen anything like Naboo before and watching him discover something she loved so dearly, she just...knew.”

    “Sounds familiar,” Rey said with a little laugh, her voice soft.

    You echoed the noise before lifting her hand, bringing it to your lips and kissing her knuckles gently. “I have watched you come from nothing, seen you face down the most terrifying people in the galaxy and hardly blink. You terrify and amaze me, Rey, and I-- I think I’ve been in love with you for much longer than I thought.”

    “Oh, (Y/N),” she breathed out. Turning to face you, she put her free hand on your cheek, caressing it with her thumb. “I’ve never-- well, I’ve never really...had anyone. Your family took me in and that-- that means the galaxy to me, having a family. You are so, so kind and so much more than I ever hoped for. I’m nothing. I don’t have anything, (Y/N), just this lightsaber. I don’t even have a name. How could you possibly love me?”

    Unable to resist, you placed a fond kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Take mine.”

    She blanked. “What?”

    “You are not nothing. You are everything to me,” you told her firmly. “If you want more than that lightsaber, more than this family we have, take my name. It belongs to you...and so do I.”

    Rey opened her mouth and then paused, unable to find words. Instead, she decided on an action.

    She grabbed the collar of your robes and pulled your forward, slanting her mouth against yours. You did not squeak as she would claim later, but you did make a wordless noise. After a moment, you pulled her in close, slipping your arm around her waist.

    For an innocent, young desert scrapper who had supposedly never kissed anyone before, she was damn good at it.

    When you finally pulled away, you couldn’t help resting your forehead against hers.

    (A Keldabe kiss, Aunt Ahsoka and Uncle Rex had called it. It was just as intimate as any regular kiss and meant so much more)

    “Rey Organa-Solo has a ring to it,” you murmured against her lips.

    She laughed, a sweet, song-like thing that melted your heart again. “Is that a proposal?”

    “Definitely,” you said, kissing her again. It was soft, but sank into something deeper, the sort of kiss your father would say he and your mother shared after defying death yet again.

    A fairytale moment in a fairytale place. And, technically speaking, you were royalty.

    “I think,” Rey said when you finally let go again, “that we have a lot more to see.”

    You grinned. “Naboo first, love. But after that, believe me, I’ll show you the galaxy.”

River Tags: @hahaboop & @mystoragehatesme

Masterlist

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[viktcrr-archive]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL / NONBINARY. — viktor samuels is really making a name for themselves as a tier 3 shepherd. i think that he/they are studying english + visual arts in their senior year at lockwood, living in peregrinis. originally from rochester, new york, viktor is known to be observant & ingenious, but can also be reticent & dependent. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

3/5 !!! once again ... little edits

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

stayed out of school until very recently b/c he just … didn’t want to go back. didn’t want to deal with it. didn’t want to be known as the dead girl’s twin. but then his mom kinda just was like ‘u go back 2 school or god so help me’ n he was like FINE.

so ya !! viktor’s back after being gone since tatiana’s body was found. that’s it, that’s him, a lil glimpse of his life.

trying to finish his senior year b/c he … obviously left before he could.

finding out that it was george who killed tatiana has ultimately ... caused viktor to spiral. his lows are some of his lowest, his highs are ... very high, but very bad. unstable & unpredictable in his actions it’s ... a whole thing :/

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / his twin sister, other half - the only one able to control viktor.

george craig iii / close family friends ... they could appreciate each other, when viktor wasn’t being an outright asshole.

hana williams / ‘friends’ with benefits, their relationship was rocky at best but she was a good lay. have often fought due to their clash in personalities and viktor’s history with christoph.

christoph wainwright / an ex-hook up, an infrequent occasion whenever christoph wanted to tick off hana. viktor was often on board, never the one to consider others’ feelings.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[cesei]

thoughts on 8x02

- lena is not in this episode and i’m going to T H R O W H A N D S

- “really bad” DRAG HIM ARYA

- dany on your bike queen SANSA’S in charge

- “she never fooled you. you always knew exactly what she was, and you loved her anyway.” UM I AM SOBBING THANKS

- love that jorah just enters rooms apologising. just about sums him up

- friendzone!jorah

- who does dany’s plaits every morning? bit intricate

- swear she killed off all her hand maidens

- oh so is jon just not going to tell dany they’re related then

- ew you can tell this was written by men SANSA AND DANY ARE NOT SUDDENLY BESTIES

- theon and sansa i’m sobbing

- DAVOS THE DINNERLADY LMFAO

- who had the audacity to makes ser davos seaworth a dinnerlady

- BABY SHIREEN

- the episode is trying to make me cry

- THATS HOW THEON WILL COMPLETE THE REDEMPTION ARC SAVING BRAN

- how is tormund SO cute and SO ominous

- that’s the sarcastic bitch tyrion i know and love

- does an amoeba write missandei’s scenes? no one acts like that

- oh i lie it’s actually quite cute

- oooh i’m sam i’m well ‘ard i’ve robbed a library

- brienne and her LADS

- IS THIS GOING TO TURN INTO AN ORGY

- “they call you kingkiller” “i’m sure someone does”

- tormund straight up CHUGGING the milk

- what the fuck is happening lmao

- actually if i was about to die that’s what i’d do too. fat mood

- already cried about five times so you could say it’s going well

- “was he on your list?” “for a while.” “that’s alright.” that’s so sweet

- that’s...... not even remotely what arya’s weapon blueprints look like

- how did gendry know to make it a whole ass spear

- “was that your first time?” “yeah i’ve never had leeches put all over me.”

- arya shut the fuck uGENDRYA IS HAPPENING IN THE CRYPT

- YOULL GET COLD

- DJFKVJFKSS G H O S T

- MY FLUFFY BOY HELLO WEVE MISSED YOU

- SER BRIENNE OF TARTH LMAOOOO

- WAIT TORMUND THOUGHT BRIENNE WAS A BLOKE AHAHSJFKEBWHXOVJTJWJ

- sorry this is all happening while gendrya are fucking below i can’t concentrate

- that’s the only kneeling you’ll be doing in front of jaime brienne now fuck off

- maybe she’s just sexually attracted to knighthoods

- this is like the bucket list

- LYANNA VS JORAH SHOWDOWNNN

- let pod speak goddamnit

- pod is so good at everything he’ll sit on the iron throne. luv u bby

- THEYRE DOING A TITANIC SINKING SCENE WGAT

- jon you snakey little liar. sam told u not bran

- welp dany took that about as well as i was expecting

- i like the white walker’s boots

- where does dany keep her dragons casually? like during the day?

- fuck ME that was eventful

okay some post-thoughts:

- they’re definitely leaning into a jaime/brienne thing and i’m not happy. YOU NEED TO KILL CERSEI AND THEN YOURSELF JAIME DON’T GET DISTRACTED BY LOVELY LADY KNIGHTS

- i feel like they’re really trying to salvage tyrion’s character by being self-aware that they’ve completely destroyed it and made him an idiot? to the point where they’ve literally resorted to having him repeat his BETTER lines from earlier seasons?

- sansa is growing on me so much. what a hero.

- the gendrya stuff was cute but it felt like gendry really wasn’t into it? and it was super out of character for arya? and would arya spend her last hours fucking in a barn or wherever??? hmm

- daenerys can get in the bin, she’s getting worse on the daily.

- i wasn’t expecting sansa/theon!!!! but it makes sense and i’m feeling it!!

- sansa sticking up for her hubby was great!!!

- finally a ghost sighting!!! i’m ecstatic and you can tell it’s because there were no dragons in this episode. it’s either/or ladies.

- some of the writing was rubbish, some was GREAT. it’s so funny now wtf

- you know it can’t get above an 8 on imdb because of the distinct lack of lena but that was a great fucking episode! i’m ready for war fuckerS

- if ghost dies i die. soz about it

- why are they putting bran in the godswood? isn’t it enclosed by walls? won’t the night king have to kill his way through the castle first? dumb dumb

- bran just skrrts over the night king with his wheelchair

- “no one has ever tried to kill the night king with dragon fire” um...... is that NOT what dany was doing on the ice lake? and also they said the dragons would give them an advantage but the night king is literally on viserion

- okay so theon will die protecting bran, so probably die next episode

- wack to think yara will outlive him

- wonder when melisandre is coming back

- arya will probably kill her on the spot lol

- jaime HAS to survive till the last episode. he’ll kill cersei to protect brienne or bran probably

- okay so theon and jaime have both wronged bran directly, so will have to sacrifice themselves for him. right?

[ghosty-schnibibit]

late amnesty liveblog because my sleep schedule has betrayed me :P

i've scheduled this liveblog to come out around 10:00 am on friday, but as i'm typing this it's around three in the morning. summer has utterly fucked my sleeping schedule lmao, i literally went to bed around 6:00 am yesterday and didn't wake up until a little before 4:00 pm... which is about a normal amount of time to sleep for me tbh, just at a wack time. oi vae. i’m going to try and get to bed a little earlier tonight, but i had to get this done now so i didn’t have to avoid tumblr altogether for fear of spoilers while me and my parents are driving to IKEA tomorrow :P

i've been procrastinating listening to the new ep all day because of well, the same reason i tend to procrastinate listening to every new ep of amnesty: i'm scared as fuck for all of these characters and a lil bit nervous about how griffin intends to unify all the disparate plot threads in a way i wasn't during balance. i'd say that nervousness is less of a product of me being distrustful in the boys’ abilities and more a product of me binging all of balance over the course of a month and only catching up in time for reunion tour, aka when all the main mystery threads were either solved or would be in the next few eps. also, ngl, still a little shaken by ned's death, along with how bloody the last arc was in general and what that means going forward vis a vis character mortality. please griffin, all i ask is that you don’t kill off duck and aubrey, p l e a s e

tl;dr: my sleep schedule is fucked and i'm a nervous wreck about fictional characters, what else is new lol? anyways, onto the liveblog!

the description is probably the least terrifying of the last five or six 

"how's the scene doing?" "lil cold" i caught that pun trav

MY BOY :D

griffin what the fuck

good to know indrid isn't at fault lmao

aww duck :'(

"what a delight" bless

the heathcliff is out of the bag

indrid you dramatic twink jfc

i really love these moments of just... pure dialogue

q u e l l

"why did you invoke submarines?" ilu aubrey

... you're not really being helpful here drid

i love thacker so much holy shit

yep, all bummers sums it up pretty well :|

a very finely feathered cast lol

minerva's voice is so similar to indrid’s jesus

i only know of minority report through the lost in adaptation ep on it lmao

well that's not great

"our- well, your world technically" aww indrid

aubrey you dummy ilu

i forgot kirby was there lol

i need fic of aubrey and thacker watching movies together and getting him caught up to modern day, i don't even like the mcu and i want that fic

d u c k m a n

JESUS CHRIST INDRID

what was that noise clint???

indeed quite zany lol

which one of them is clicking their computer mouse a bunch???

"gotta getchu a sword" leo ilu

i know there's gonna be fanart of that lmao

ooooh, new music! very good new music!

yes please keep the together party after splitting it caused so much heartache and literal death last arc 

i love thacker's dad energy so much, can't wait to see how that plays out

"WHY ARE THEY SITTING IN RUBBLE" ilu trav

sammiches c:

keith is just d o n e

i just remembered the throwaway line from the last arc about hollis being into saturday night dead and got sad :(

JESUS THACKER

i need fic of thacker interacting with the baby hornets, i need it so bad

duck you cannot just spring all this on them

"my friend the mothman" D U C K

YUP, you need to roll for that

that's better than failure! that's not complete failure!

JAKE! JAKE! JAKE!

OH MY GOD THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE

they're in it for jake :')

i’m so excited for the new graphic novel!!! hopefully i will have enough money to buy it ha haaaaa for real tho i have no money or autonomy

ghost dewey! :D

who does he need to talk to? pigeon maybe?

that was so good clint! i loved it :D

WHAT THE FUCK, DUCK NEWTON

i know i've said it like eighty times but thacker's peak dad energy is absolute gold and i'm super happy we get to see him interact with juno again after how adorable their last scene was :)

"gross" bless travis

oooh no, i'm getting bad vibes

i have never heard milanos pronounced that way in my entire life

i have to hide mine from my dad lmao

WHO IS CLICKING

thacker you sound like the goddamn unibomber could you please be more forthright about what the plan is

hmm... here's a fun question: did thacker inherit ned's spent luck???

well that answers that lol

i love juno so goddamn much

sensors? stealth could be an option

why is she so scared? like aubrey brought her coworker back to life, i personally would not be afraid of her murdering me after that

"no one needs to go to chicago" ilu aubrey

federal paperwork is an absolute bastard

some monday what???

"well i don't care for the tone!" aubrey ilu

that's a good way to put it :/

WHY IS DEWEY IN THE CLOSET

s p e c t r a l  m o m

well dewey is immune to death sooo...

ned was one of aubrey’s best friends... even after everything that happened she still called him one of her best friends... travis you've made me cry ; _ ;

PLEASE MAGIC TRAVIS DICE SHE HAS NO MORE LUCK TO BURN

damn this really is a wild ass scenario isn't it

"you're melting my fucking brain" pfff

thank you clint, i completely forgot too

travis is the irl voidfish lmao

i love dewey so much

"can't kill me twice, i think" i hope dewey can't double die lol

d u c k o l a s

why did you go to buffy and winthrop duck??? why did you want to talk to these weird edward and lydia reskins duck?????

yeah that feels right

okay, it's griffin clacking on his mouse

playing what???

THE WHAT

WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, JUSTIN MCELROY

DUCK WHAT THE FLYING FUCK ARE YOU DOING I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON

i love justin's triumphant laugh so much

i mean i already mentally associated them with the wonderland liches so this isn't much of a jump  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

griffin what on earth is this

"that's it, that's all the latin there is" i wish lmao

THE SHADOW BRETHEREN

we are... so screwed lmao

this was very good! this ep kept up the trend of funnier interactions from the last ep and i’m grateful for it after how sad the past arc was. i am still very worried but i’m happy we’re seeing a lot of npcs that we hadn’t gotten back to in a while just to make sure they’re okay. pretty much anything else i had to say is summed up by the mini rant i made before listening above lol. 

see y’all next right thursday!!!

[megafaunatic]

i just read good omens a few days ago and i totally agree with what you're saying! after a full book of queerbaiting those two and taking that as an opportunity to insert homophobia that us gays have to read through, the best thing that could be done would be to make their relationship explicitly canonical this time around (and get rid of or at least revise newt & anathema's horrible relationship but that's not going to happen). don't trust Neil to do it but I have a speck of hope nonetheless

cw in this post for nongraphic discussion of homophobia & sexual violenceHMMMM this is a tuff one bc as u kno im obviously 100% on board with explicit aziraphale crowley Marriage in the bbc series and im thrilled ur on board too anon... BUT i'm not actually rly convinced that queerbaiting was what was happening in the novel tbh! the way their relationship is written just feels too sincere and careful for it to just be queerbaiting (which for the purpose of this ask im using to mean "writers cynically teasing a representation-hungry audience with a Possible gay relationship in order to maintain audience interest as long as possible AND/OR in order to claim Woke Points"). like, in a oneshot novel, there's kind of no point to maintaining audience interest - thats more of a tv show concern - and i think it's pretty clear that gaiman & pratchett weren't exactly gunning for Woke Points when they wrote itRATHER i think that it's probably more of a "we are two straight dudes writing this book on a whim in 1990 and we want to communicate that they rly love each other and it's gonna be a little ambiguous" kind of thing. like, i read the relationship as pretty obviously romantic, and i assume that's more or less on purpose, but like... idk im just not bothered by it not literally ending in their makin out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like for one thing the ending scene with the nightingale singing in berkeley square is SO fucking romantic IDK what to tell uregarding the homophobia, i assume you're referencing:a) az's intro where he's described as seeming gay in a goofy way and then the narration notes that in fact since angels are genderless "gay" isnt rly a term that appliesb) the twerp at the bday party who misunderstands az's comment about burning f*ggots (asterisked bc it is & isnt a slur here lmao)c) anathema understanding that crowley & az aren't Normal and then assuming it's because they're gay (not bc theyre not human)A is obv pretty complicated bc Pop Understanding Of Gender And Sex And Sexuality has uhhhh Evolved since 1990 (!) but tbh! im fine with swishy gay aziraphale EVEN WHILE understanding that it is at some level a joke about Ooh Hoo Hoo One Wouldn't Expect An Angel To Act GAY because........ we still get... an angel who Acts Gay out of it? like he's still an angel and a good interesting funny moral person. nd i think that there IS interesting stuff to be thought about wrt angels' relationship to "gayness" as a concept given that their relationships to gender and sex and sexuality are so alienatedneil gaiman addressed B in his post here: http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/175585724701 which i think is a good and fair responseand then C is also... idk like again part of the joke is Tee Hee They're Not Gay They're ETHEREAL but.. idk to me as a gay person reading the novel every time i get to that scene im like fuck dude youre right they also are gay. and i think theres also smth to be said for the acknowledgement that yeah! if you are a woman and you are approached by strange men in the night, it's fucking scary! even if theyre nice! and (Assuming You Don't Suck) the idea that PERHAPS they will not want to visit sexual violence upon you because PERHAPS they are gay.. is a relief! (and ya obv theres like a whole conversation there abt sexual violence not actually being abt attraction at all and the assumption that all men r violent sucks ETC ETC but the reaction remains...!) also yea i hope anathema & newt's Whole Thing is a little healthier but frankly i do think it's written as so weird and awkward and "guess this is inevitable so.. better get crackin? ugh" intentionally both because it's kind of funny and also as an exploration of, ya, what WOULD it be like to have your every move dictated and spectated upon by a long dead extremely nosey ancestor? it would be fucking wack!N E WAY this is just to say that i want aziraphale and crowley to get married onscreen because im gay and theyre gay and i love a good love story, not because i feel like the novel Owes it to me or has something to make up for. i actually do more or less trust neil gaiman on this one - like, i dont ACTUALLY THINK ac r gonna get married onscreen but i DO trust him to handle... His Own Characters... with love and integrity.emmyways... long post for relatively short ask... im just love good omens. @neil-gaiman if ur out there....... im ready!!

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 7X7 The Mentalists

This Week has been ABSOLUTELY dfa;os'ias, I am Tired, and my schedule is WACK, but

eh...I think I need an episode here, comfort shitshow here we go

ah yes angsty Sam

ah a medium

ouija board

man literally nothing good happens on a ouija board

there is science somewhere in there

huh what was her reaction

what was that face

sir the important papers?

this is not going to go well

uh oh

vengeful spirit?

oh god why are you ANGERING THE SPIRIT

oh boy actual spirit signs

HOLY SHIT THE PSYCHIC IS FUCKING DEAD

he's stealing a car? huh?

he looks so disgruntled

THE FUCKING RADIO

AHAHA HE FOUND A JOB THROUGH SHITTY RADIO

bruh where's the Impala, isn't the impala always with Dean?

I was gonna say they should call Cas and then I remembered :(

ah he notices the lil know..fake psychic stuff

ooo vibe

he's gonna say something incredibly out of pocket isn't he

BEN ACKER AND BEN BLACKER WROTE THIS AHAHAH

this is a fun themed cafe tbh

"special of the day: you" LMAO

ah hippies

DEAN'S FUCKING FACE

LMAO SAM'S WORKING THE SAME JOB

Sam's gonna be a lil bitch about this

I miss Pamela

I miss Missouri

WHERE IS SHE

"virile manifestation of the divine"

DEAN'S FACE

HE'S SO PRESSED THAT SAM DOESN'T CARE

...it is a little bit like Sam cares too little and Dean cares too much

"we're not the winchesters, lmaooo we get that a lot"

"we're completely harmless" LMAO

"energies" "completely gentle"

what the actual fuck is going on

"I'm Russian, I can spot the law"

THIS IS HILARIOUS

ooo a necklace that passes down the next of kin through fake psychics? interesting

"he broke my spoon" he's so huffy

they're literally both so huffy

"It's an honest living"

S I R WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR JOB IS

ah she's a profiler

body language

"I've got a open mind"

oh they're FUN tho

she's also a nonbeliever like he was, but they both kinda read people? I think?

Sam sorry bud ur third wheeling gain

"we did NOT know"

b r u h can you maybe chill

THE SIMULTANEOUS BADGE RAISE

bruh EVERYONE CAN READ THEM LIKE A BOOK THIS IS HILARIOUS

like yes I know I'm supposed to find this sad, but it's so funny how they're like "oh we can work together and bury things" AND THEN EVERYONE LITERALLY READS THEM LIKE A BOOK AHAHAHAAAA

ah man not the Russian

oh god not the fork

oh god nonono

I SWEAR TO GOD SINCE WE CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT IT'S EVEN MORE GRUESOME NOW

OH GOD NO PLEASE CUT AWAY

WHY DIDN'T THEY CUT AWAY

WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD

I have no idea what the hell the tone is supposed to be anymore

"agEnT bouRNe"

"chest full of cutlery" lmaooo

"it's either this or los angeles" (in terms of policing)

they're both different kinds of cynical ha

they stopped talking like FBI agents

his FACE aHHH

self recognition through the other yada yada

is lily dale really like this

wait HOLY SHIT THEY ARE APPARENTLY LOTS OF PSYCHICS

"I hate this town" of COURSE YOU DO DEAN OF C O U R SE

this is not sarcastic it's literally everything he would hate

"family is a pain in the ass anyhow" LMAOOO

"thank the spirits" Ma'am this is a wendy's

"now will that be cash or credit"

it really must be lucrative

huh oh there we go vision of death

ah accent gone

and she called the girl, who brought Dean

they're all kinda phony

ah the camera

there we go caught on camera

ah chokes from behind

two am huh

oooo and she gives people visions of their death interesting interesting

heh sibling acts

the costume design is really cool though, honestly the concept is kinda cool

lmaooo ham fisted "sibling acts never work"

...the campbells

ah they were gay

DEAN YOUR FACE

bro the adr in that one bit sucks

lMAO THE PARALLEL

"no magic powers(full of crap) but took care of her younger sibling with Magic" aka Dean and Sam

ELLEN?? TELLING HIM NOT TO BE STUPID?

THANK GOD FOR FUCKING ELLEN I LOVE HER

"you lied to me and killed my friend" ok finally mention her

bruh and you didn't kill Sam

"That's what family does, the dirty work"

he is kind of acting like a dick though

AHAHA THE BAD SIBLINGS HAVE TO DIG

what if one warns and the other doesn't

Dean doesn't want the powers lmao

DAMMIT I THINK SHE WAS WARNING YOU

Always the fucking lighter

that was a fun design though

aw they're vibing that's fun

aw she'll stay with her

uhhh

SHIT YEAH THEY DIDN'T KILL HER

THE SALT

HOW ARE YOU OUT OF SALT

AH THE IRON

ah yay dies right in front of her

ah of course Dean hug

good sis bad sis

aw he's mad he killed an innocent ghost

they really focus on Dean I swear to god

ah the questioning

she was smiling ah jesus christ

ah they're doing it in the morning

ah the juicy lighter

ope bones are gone

the headliners of a specific carnival?

top psychic dogs

ah it's her next of course

ah sand circle

"does it hurt 'em"

"never thought about it"

OH AND HE ACCEPTS IT BECAUSE SHE'S ALSO A SKEPTIC

Ah here we go

find the bones before she kills them

this is like genuinely creepy tho

ooo vibes

ah a gun

OO TRAINING

"I hate when they do that" LMAOO

ooo the dual monologue

real thing isn't pretty or entertaining ok

"I can't pay my rent"

Is...is there a cultural appropriation thing in there

he missed

wasn't Sam also a psychic

ah the yellow teeth

ah JEEZ

bro poor Melanie jesus

"he was boning her"

it was right there

THIRD WHEEL SAM YA BOI

heh she got him

"I wish I had better weeks

bruh his eyes are SO GREEN wow

wow one episode to get over Amy huh

no Dean is not ok

"ever since cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody" UH

"we're poster kids of functional family life"

SIR

1. horror. Ok here's the thing. It's less vibe-y, but it's clear as day, it really drives home the mundanity of the horror. Like it could happen to anyone is the thing, and since the thing is bright, lit normally, it drives it home. Seriously I think the horror(when done well) works better.

2. Dean and melanie. Listen. He understood her bright-eyed questions and considered them better not because she was hot(let me have this) but because they were both skeptics. Like bright eyes without the bright eyes, yk?

altho third wheel Sam lmao

3. concept. Listen the concept of a cursed locket, but then it's the sister ghost and then the other sister was really fun! like it was an actual mystery, and lily dale itself(being a town of frauds, Dean feeling like fraud, Sam having to be the one that confronts the real psychic) was excellent, I liked that concept.

they were annoying as shit to deal with tho.

4. reading people! I just like that the whole idea was based on reading people(something neither of those fuckers can do) and how they, with the lies and repression, were uncomfy with it. I thought that was neat.

5. the cultural...appropriation? Like it kinda reads as "I wasn't as Flashy or Palatable so I starve and everyone else gets to be fine and profit off of what's fake versions of mine. Like..you can make the reading. The way it was done makes me uncomfy, but also that's a kind of real reading.

6. Sam(and Amy?). IT felt like Sam forgot about the fact that Amy was his friend and was more angry that Dean lied to him. But his lil Huff was in character and made sense for Anger Issues Winchester.

7. Dean's spiral(CAS). Dean's guilt spiral and trust spiral literally after Cas? Like the man is fucked, Ellen from beyond the grave is trying to tell him to shut up, and it's basically...entirely hinging on Cas and his feeling of doubt and insecurity there.

Bro I'm sorry but what the fuck even when he's not here he's here

[driftinghereandthere]

BUKU RANT AHEAD

Okay so Chaitlin and I went to Buku this year with the hope of it being an incredible experience, but it was fucking wack. First of all, the people in NOLA are fucking  r u d e. I have never experienced such dirty stares or loud shit talking in my entire life, and it didn’t get much better once inside the festival. I’m not a ~rave queen~ by any means, but what I do love about going to festivals is the overwhelming amount of loving energy that courses through the air. That was NOT the case for Buku. There was such an angry and aggressive energy permeating the entire place that Chaitlin and I couldn’t even find one little sanctuary of our own. No one smiles when they look at you, they aggressively try to cut in front of you, and they were all so focused on themselves! Out of all the people I met, only one was a decent human being and we didn’t say more than two words to each other. At one point, a man was butt ass naked getting a shot in his ass because he was practically DEAD and the people trying to walk around the scene were breaking out into a fight because they didn’t want to follow the security’s orders!

Now the first day wasn’t as bad as the second, in my opinion, but they had most of the top artists sets stacked right on top of each other (on opposite sides of the venue of course) so we were rushing to see bits and pieces of people we love. We missed Spag Heddy because the parking situation was wack (they said it was free, but it was $20 so we ended up driving around NOLA to find free street parking), and luckily we got to hear Ganja White Night + Boogie T but only because we were in this BULLSHIT water line that was right outside of that stage. Sidenote, we stood in that water line for the entirety of Ganja White Night’s set because the water was trickling out so slow and the girls next to us were trying to shove their way past us. At this point, I’ve popped like two points of molly so all I want to do is vibe peacefully. We made it to MGMT (which was fun but we only stayed for a couple songs because their music got a little weird) and then we hauled ass to go see SNAILS. That was the best time I had at Buku because SNAILS always comes through with the beat drops and the vibe, but we had to leave 30/40 minutes in because SZA was on at the other side of the festival and I was NOT going to miss that angel. So we get to SZA and I am having the time of my life. I’m rollie, she’s angelic, and I got to hear my favorite song. But BOOM, out of nowhere the stage is black and she is MIA 15 minutes before her time is up. What happened, you ask? She fucking fell off the stage and sprained her ankle. You can’t tell me that was a coincidence because she had the most loving energy radiating off of her and I swear to god Buku just fucked it up because after that happened things really started going downhill. One news article even joked that the stage she was on might be cursed and I wouldn’t doubt it. So SZA has to leave early and now we still have an hour until Migos. Well, like the trash they are, Migos ends up being 45 MINUTES LATE. I’ve seen them once before and the pulled the same shit, but their performance made up for it. Not this time though. They didn’t apologize for the delay, they mumbled their lyrics, and they only played 30 second previews of each song!!!!! I’m not making this up!!!!! People were fucking p i s s e d (well I know some were, but there were a lot of sorority/frat people who were like “oh my gooooooddd Migos was soooo gooooood”). Not to mention, they didn’t even play Bricks which was the whole reason we even sat through that trash set. So day one is coming to a close, but there was still Virtual Self and Flatbush Zombies. Well as we’re trying to get to that side of the venue, security has to close down the walkway for a good 35 minutes because a train was on its way through! I’m sure you can imagine everyone’s piss poor attitude during that hold-up. But we finally make it and long story short, Virtual Self was not our cup of tea, and Flatbush Zombies took 15 minutes longer to come on than expected so we just dipped because neither of us could be surrounded by those people and that energy any longer. 

So now it’s day two. We’re thinking, “hey, maybe it’ll be less people because most of the really hot artists were day one.” Wrong. It was twice, if not three times as packed and people were even RUDER.  We missed Noname because of more parking bullshit, and the next person we wanted to see didn’t come on for another four hours. The good part about day two is that we actually had time to look around at all of the little intricacies and we ended up buying cute rings and some food. Doing so though, we missed Illenium (who I wasn’t even trying to see, but watching footage afterward I wish we had seen them because they sounded good as hell). At around seven we end up finding our way to Emo Nite LA with the hopes of getting lit to some throwbacks, but it was just “eh.” I mean, they played some bops for sure, but they were literally just a group of 19/20 something year old fuck boys who take pride in not being dj’s and just pressing random buttons. Every song they played had annoying air horn and dolphin sounds playing over them. Not to mention, the people at that set were flailing their limbs around and just jumping up and down. Actually, it wasn’t just at that set, but the whole festival itself. Chaitlin and I are headbangers, but we can get wavy to some other stuff for sure, and then there are typically people who shuffle or do light shows. This place didn’t have any of that. It’s like all of the people there didn’t know how to dance, couldn’t find the beat, and they were doing this weird jump/lunge move while swinging their arms??? And no one could do a proper light show!!!!!!!!!!!! We had three different people with gloves offer to give us a show and they were all  t r a s h. Anyway, the time finally comes for Borgore, the daddy of filth if you will, and we LOVE Borgore because he gets dirty with his beats and his adlibs are fire. So we get in there and it’s packed as all hell, but he starts off with some good shit. However, the people standing next to and in front of us were all doing that body flailing shit! And they didn’t know any of his songs! So Chaitlin and I are sweating balls, people are blindly running into us, and we’re barely even rolling because we were so uncomfortable. And to make matters worse, Borgore pulled some snake ass shit and started playing BULLSHIT tracks I’ve never heard him perform before. Out of nowhere he starts playing uppity, jumpy, house tracks and the crowd fucking ate it up. The look of horror that spread across our faces was priceless and we ended up sitting down during his set because we just couldn’t do it. (It should be noted that while I’m not a lover of house, I can fuck it up on occasion but we were so excited to hear his usual shit and desperately needed to headbang out all of the anxiety we’ve been feeling the past two days). We ended up getting pretty close to the exit because we were fucking over it, but luckily he switched back to his trap/dubstep ways. Interestingly enough, the majority of the crowd bailed when he switched back and people that were coming in were asking if this was Borgore. Not to sound snobby, but how do you not know who Borgore if you’re at Buku? It’s like everyone was there to just say they were there, you know? We have this theory that the artists were told to play certain things because that’s what the crowd wanted. Borgore didn’t even do adlibs! He was silent through his whole set! Which is so unlike him because he is usually interacting with the crowd and constantly asking to see some titties lmao. After a very disappointing Borgore performance, we made our way to Bassnecter. We decided to avoid the giant crowd and chill in the grass under some pretty light structures, but boy was that a huge mistake. At this point, we’re on five points and can barely feel anything because the music and the people have been trash. But we get settled, Bassnectar is killing it, and the roll starts hitting. Well, we notice these girls smiling at us so of course I’m like, “Oh my god, hi!” because that was the first time in two days that someone actually smiled in our direction and I’m feeling lovey dovey rollie. So we go and sit next to them and that was the worst mistake we could have made. 

The main girl was the biggest narcissist I’ve ever met and wouldn’t stop talking about herself and probing us to ask her questions. She lured us in by complimenting us, but as we sat with her the compliments began to sound so ingenuine and she wasn’t listening to anything we had to say. Her friends were just as bad too, one of them was in there with a fake ID and the other one was so fucked up that she was talking over everyone and couldn’t stay steady in one place. However, we did find out through them that apparently, Lil Uzi didn’t even show up for his set! (Neither did Dex or Ski Mask the Slump God). For some reason though, we didn’t leave and just tried to keep it chill. I made the mistake of offering them a hit off my dab pen because next thing you know it’s getting passed around to who knows who and people are taking multiple fucking rips off of it. One girl needed a sip of water and next thing you know our water mug is empty. That continued to happen with the gum and lotion we brought as well (and later we put it together that they stole our pack of cigarettes). So by now, we’ve stopped rolling once again because this bitch is yapping about herself during Bassnectar’s set, my dab pen is empty, and we start getting antsy. We finally decided to just get the fuck out of there and go see Little Dragon. Now I’ve only really heard Little Dragon as a feature on other people’s songs, but I like her voice and from what I understood she had a wavy vibe. Nope. We couldn’t even sit through more than two songs because she didn’t say one word and she was playing trancy music! We bailed on that and made our way to Rezz, who went hard on the first song, but the rest was just more of that jumpy bullshit, and the crowd was horrendous. People were flailing and screaming all over the place and getting out was like something out of a nightmare. The people in the crowd looked so dead in the eyes and none of them moved out of the way, but instead stared us down as we were leaving. Rezz’s debut album is called Mass Manipulation and I swear to god it felt like that entire crowd was a group of angry, brainwashed zombies. Fitting, huh? At this point, the molly isn’t even working and we both start having lowkey anxiety attacks, but Isaiah Rashad is closing the festival and I’m a fan of his stuff so we head over there. Pfffffffff, first off, he’s a talker. He just talked, talked, talked, and took forever to actually play something. And when he did, it was terrible! His voice was overpowering the beat, and it was so heavy and rough. It sounded nothing like his recorded songs. We decided to just call it quits and head the fuck home because the anxiety was getting out of control.

So basically, my review is a 3/10. The concept was great but the execution was horrible. The crowd consisted of so many rich kids all wearing the same, overpriced “I Heart Raves” outfits or Hawaiian shirts, and everyone was so wrapped up in themselves. At one point, this guy next to us snapped at his girlfriend and was like, “the whole point of being here is to experience it, not take it” because all she was doing was getting her friends to take pics of her while artists were performing. The people were literally Energy Vampires. So many people came up to us asking if we had molly, and I’m convinced that the group of awful girls could sense our nurturing energy because they literally sucked us dry. I’ve never been to a festival where people at the back of the water line started arguing with the front because they think they deserve water first. I’ve never been to a festival where everyone is shoulder checking you, looking down on you, stealing shit from you, or bragging about their handmade, artisan, face jewels they bought for $30. It was a fake woke, commercial bullshit, evil energy environment that I don’t care to go back to. Thanks, but no thanks Buku. 

[paul-patts-blog]

all for my boyfriends (why am i not dating any of your women?)

no women for u. 

BERLIOZ 

☾ - sleep headcanon-- berlioz rarely  sleeps in the nude. even after sex, he gets cold and has to grab a shirt and boxers. many times he has managed to sweet talk simba into doing it so he can stay curled in the covers. 

★ - sad headcanon- ugh his entire demeanor?? there r just so many 

☆ - happy headcanon- ber has learned a lot of life skills the past two years, like laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming-- even cooking! tbh he has grown to really like coming over to help nounou prepare dinner since he does that (or did that) with simba. 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- ber’s anger is cold and sharp. he is not a physical guy but knows how to say like the perfect brutal thing. dem bonfamilles yo. 

�� - Sex headcanon- ber is nasty. UHHHH. ber never went down on a girl and probably never will lolololol 

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- as a young broody teen, ber literally made a KEEP OUT sign that he put on his doorknob at all times. it was mostly for marie tbh who terrorized him and his stuff

♡ - romantic headcanon- ber literally can’t look at a rose without thinking of simba and also simba’s aunt who has a rose farm. for the rest of his life, that’s what he’ll think about. 

♥ - family headcanon- hector was the person who bought berlioz his first david bowie album and on the day bowie died-- ber actually texted his dad and they had a CALL about it. it’s one of the only things they have in common. 

☮ - friendship headcanon- ber is literally the best friend u can have ok if u get him on ur side he’s one of those who will ride or die, offer to bury the body, etc. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- he really likes MAPS. whenever he goes to a new city he picks up the city map and keeps it. his desk is like fuuuull of maps. i’m sure lou has gotten him like old, antique maps before that he has in frames. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- likes really long plane rides, longer the better, loves airplane food, loves the whole nine yards /  dislikes any gossip or reality tv show it like literally makes him SO mad like he can’t watch dance moms or keeping up with the kardashians he gets /upset/ bc ppl are so /mean/ and /stupid/ and he hates it 

▼ - childhood headcanon- would wake up early to watch pokemon his one exception to the sleep until noon rule. 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- ber will be that old man busting out beautiful piano pieces in random places bc he will have lost all his fucks by then

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- wow can my above one with nounou count-- uhhh he is in charge of cutting veggies. 

☼ - appearance headcanon- ber is the type of boy to never take off his concert wristbands. sometimes he picks at them and they get ripped up and nasty and eventually they fall off. 

ൠ - random headcanon- i am bad at these uuuuuh ber once sang the pina colada song to simba when he was drunk outta his brain and simba probably captured a good 80 percent on video. 

◉ - Any other question of your choosing- idk im uncreative

HADES

☾ - sleep headcanon- hades has discovered that listening ot books on tape helps him get to sleep! 

★ - sad headcanon- uh that his mum didn’t leave a goodbye note 

☆ - happy headcanon- uhhh once opal saved up her money and took hades and persephone out to the movies and then they had ice cream!!! and that was the closet thing to a holiday that hades had as a child oh this god sad again

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- he used his ghost powers on his grandfather to like smash his grandfather’s head into the kitchen counter after he said something Truly Rude and knocked him out and seph was scared and crying and he had to call the ambulance and tbh he was very scared and felt guilty these r all sadder than my sad headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon- goes down on belle at every opportunity bc he has a control kink (also does fantasize about her going down on him boy just likes oral sex)

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- hades room is immaculate. he makes his bed every single day and washes his sheets once a week. or he did now he lives in hell and its SO DUSTY and he does all the dusting, 

♡ - romantic headcanon- uh lmao fuck uh. hades version of romance is having belle practice the debate questions with him. 

♥ - family headcanon- opal taught both her kids to read and do arithmetic before their peers and that’s why the acherons r smart alecks 

☮ - friendship headcanon- hades now plays words with friends with belle AND lou. wow. so popular. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- hades organizes the cereals in the pantry by alphabetical order. and the spices. and soups. basically anything that can be organized he likes having systems ok. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- blackjack and really gambling in general tbh he’s real good at it / dislikes- fried food 

▼ - childhood headcanon- walked to school no matter the weather bc people on the bus would torment seph and though he woulda FOUGHT THEM OFF seph just wanted to avoid it so, he walked her to school

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- hades is honestly going to have trouble giving up immortality. he’s vain and he doesn’t want to grow old tbh. and bc he’s the ambassador he almost doesnt /have/ to ... 

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- hades loves chocolate milk its a sinful indulgence that he probably hid from belle for a long time and tbh he still denies himself chocolate milk a lot like challenges himself to go without chocolate milk for 90 days stupid shit like that everything’s a competition BUT HE LOVES CHOCOLATE MILK SO MUCH 

☼ - appearance headcanon- always immaculate. always. 

ൠ - random headcanon- hades sometimes refolds belle’s clothes that she folds bc its not good enough, sorry hon, 

◉ - Any other question of your choosing-don’t come at me

PAUL 

☾ - sleep headcanon- paul’s sleep schedule has long been outta wack, so he usually can only sleep three or four hours before his body gets himself up. normally he goes and gets a glass of water or if it’s a more restless night, he’ll have to read himself back to sleep. 

★ - sad headcanon- paul was the one who told his mother that lucas died 

☆ - happy headcanon- when the babies were born paul like basically spent the entire day taking pictures of themmm with perdy and he was so so happy and he still has every single picture no matter how terrible the shots 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- paul has a tiny bit of a violent streak in him that he can mostly control, but he does get into fights with other blokes and has thrown stuff when he gets mad. 

✿ - Sex headcanon- the first time paul had sex his first words were “holy shit” quickly followed by “sorry” quickly followed by him coming. it was not the most impressive first time.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- paul and lucas shared a room and they were around the same size and had lots of the same tastes so they shared everything else too, so often that when lucas died, paul couldn’t remember if certain shirts were his, which albums were his, etc. 

♡ - romantic headcanon- paul is the type to write random notes and leave them around the house. he did this for perdy when she was pregnant and some of them had clues that led to OTHERs because he’s extra we know he’s extra 

♥ - family headcanon- the patts family is rarely all in one place, but they always congregate for one thing: football in the spot. unless paul’s mom is having a bad time, even she’ll come down. 

☮ - friendship headcanon- though roger is certainly his best friend, harry is his oldest friend-- knowing him since they were both wee lads in primary school around 6 or 7 years old. they tried out for the football team together. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- paul actually knows how to brew his own beer! he learned his from johnny, who is a beer connoisseur and like makes his own types and swears he’s gonna get rich of them (probably never will) but Paul used to help Johnny with the whole process and they’d organize like ‘tasting’ parties which-- was just a bunch of men getting very drunk and playing card games tbh.  

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- shopping for new clothes, he always feels so fancy and rich / grocery shopping nothing could be more boring and he usually impulse buys like more beer and sweets than he needs lol 

▼ - childhood headcanon- paul broke his arm when he was 8 after falling out of a tree and into the shrubbery. he was trying to hide from simon who had just got a new paintball gun and wanted to use paul as his target practice !!! 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- paul is gonna be the old guy who thinks he’s “cool” and “hip” and will like do the line dances and idk probably pick up a mid-life crisis hobby like SKIING thats dangerous but makes him feel “alive.”

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- his mother makes the most amazing cinnamon hot cocoa. whenever he’s sad, it’s what he craves, to him, sadness tastes and smells like cinnamon. 

☼ - appearance headcanon- paul loves getting ready for events. he and perdy would spend an equal amount deciding on outfits and doing their hair and shit he just-- feels so goddamn fancy. 

ൠ - random headcanon- paul lets edith read all his stories. she is the only one. she still gets emailed drafts. this is because edith hates reading, so if edith likes something, he knows that it’s good.

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

[lafortis]

Do the first 12 ask things

tell me about your crush!!!!!!!ahh well my crush is a beautiful elegant person whomst I do not deserve but whom accepts this about me and is understanding and wonderful anyway (and draws rly rly fucking well and [I’m lead to believe] is a mean lean vegan chef chopping greens)tell me about your exidk which one to talk abt so I’ll go with list recent. she was pretty cool, she followed me on Twitter and I recognised her from HS then a week or two later she had a mutual friend invite me to a basement party where me n tittles (aka The Good Jordan) got demolished and I think I smoked my first tiny bit of weed, then I made out with her on her basement floor or mattress or smthn (her pajamas were very soft). I sort of talked tittles n nevin into talking me into hitting her up afterwards, got together (while they were still around lmao) and watched a like bo Burnham special and made out or something. She was coming off a breakup, we hung out/talked on n off for a while with her being super inconsistent, dated for a few months (I drove her around a lot), and then it got #messy I guess yikestell me about your dayI woke up, finished my book and had a coffee (which I’m becoming increasingly convinced I should stop), grabbed rob, picked up Reid from work, got food, went home, grabbed Nevin, went to Anthony’s for melee n too watch evo. Jordan (aka The Bad Jordan) and Richard showed up too, it’s aiiiight, we break apart when Anthony has to pick up his gf, we drop Reid off, the crew we came with plus alek whom we get from McDonald’s go to my house to watch the rest n play melee, n then we’re done :D Rob and I go to try to catch a togetic but mine flees :’( now I’m heretell me about your dreamsLiterally my dreams or my aspirations? I think yesterday i dreamed I made day two of evo or some other big tournament and then missed my bracket and got disqualified (believable tbh), and probably also some random sex dream and maybe some other stuff. I’m off my vyvanse rn so i think my dreams r more vivid. As for aspirations… Probably like power honestly. Not like sinisterly, just the concept of decision making power. Like I think I’m smart and could do well and save lives if given the reins of whatever. tell me about your dramaLord… Aight. uhhh the messiest I’ve ever been was the end of the relationship with my last ex and I don’t want to just literally say everything on Tumblr but idk. basically she cheated on me at a house party I wasn’t at and I didn’t find out until after we were on a break/maybe half broken up for something completely random and petty, and after she interrogated me about cheating on her, from one of our close mutual friends. i was miffed, don’t even remember most of it, mostly just got near-black out drunk at a Canada day party, vomited on alek I think, loudly forgave the dude she cheated on me w. also there was some suggestion she cheated on me more than that but also some suggestion she may have lied about that to seem cool???? Idk it was all messy and I didn’t comport myself particularly well either (although I forgive myself I guess given the circumstances)tell me about yourself :-)I’m a 21 year old white guy, a little above average weight, average ish height, pretty stocky and broad shouldered, my head is huge. I’ve dropped out of uni twice. I’m supposedly smart but have trouble putting that to good use. I’m very good at some of the most technical elements of super smash bros melee and am working on the rest. I enjoy history and fantasy and my major if I ever finish it is in international relations. geopolitics is the core of what I find interesting above. Politically I’m probably a democratic socialist. I listen to a lot of mainstream hip hop and not much else tbh (I have a nujabes Spotify mix to relax n study to). I’m on an Effexor XR (for anxiety and depression), an SNRI, and Vyvanse (for ADHD), a stimulant. I have two lovely dogs. I think I’m really self aware but I’m not sure. I have too much arrogance and also too little self esteem. I’m often quite loud, and my brand of humour is like mostly either the like false arrogance/bravado, running jokes into the ground, or wordplay I guess? Or just sarcasm. Idk I make ppl laugh most of the time but I’m not sure I’m actually funny. I think this is enough without getting too much righttell me about something awkward/embarrassingUhhh idk what would be awkward and embarrassing. I had a huge crush on one of my long time friends in early high school. We admitted to each other we were like each others first choice to marry when we were adults. But we started hanging out for a day or two like we were dating and I like literally suffocated her into just immediately pulling the plug because she realised how wack I wastell me about a funny story or somethingUhhhhhhhhhhhh this might be where it really breaks down. I’m not sure I have a funny story. Which is odd, given I just said I thought I was funny. But I couldn’t rly pluck one out of thin air that wasn’t mostly just bullying someone the story was about lmaotell me your favourite band/artist/album/songKendrick Lamar is probably my fav artist rn, Yeah Right by Vince Staples is my fav song probably. The Kendrick feature is insane. (I don’t love Kendrick as much as this response make it sound I just have that album on CD along with damn so it’s been in my head of late)tell me about your favourite memeSearch Toyota previa on my blog to find the post. That is my favourite post. I love that post fuck I have no idea why but fuck. tell me about your favourite ficI don’t rly read fic but I guess my fav was the one I read almost all the way thru, Harry Potter and the methods of Rationality. It was kinda dumb rationalist wank but I’m a rationalist wanker so sue metell me a secret ;)Ohoho there’s a winky face so it better be sexual I guess… Idk what kind of secret there is here. I don’t rly keep those tbh, except for other ppl. Uhh I’ll just choose something rly private? What is there even then hmmmMMMM wait of course I have a good one duh. I was part of an internet secret society :o still am I guess. If u wanted a sexual secret uhhh the secret is in my junk? Women love that shit. Mostly. I was gonna say I’ve made all but one of my partner’s cum but that’s not rly true anymore given I’ve had a few one off hookups under various extenuating circumstances and never got to correct my failures :’( such is life Thank u so much for this and I’m so sorry for all this FUCKING text I’m gonna edit in a read more but I’m sorry mobile users if it doesn’t work I’m so so sorry