#these are my genuine thought processes throughout the episode lmao

[jade-marie]

Just coming from your READ about Beth's priviledge/desire for power which btw was SPOT ON and it got me thinking....any thoughts on the line Beth delivers on the bench "Wait your turn, he'll share" [directed at her daughter but obviously applies to her situation]. Apologies if this was already discussed. I just began my GG viewing a few weeks ago lol

Hey! I’m probably not the best person to reply to you on this one bc I literally haven’t watched a second of that show since it ended (if anyone has any input, please feel free lmao). P.s. this is probably gonna be a bit word salad-y because my adhd meds are wearing off 🤣

Anyhoo, I haven’t actually been asked about that line before, so it was interesting to think about! I think it was supposed to be a callback to 2x03 when Marcus wants to go on the monkey bars - Rio turns it into a teachable moment, tells him to wait his turn “when that kid’s done, you’ll get your turn”. This is also when he’s decided to teach Beth and the same episode he gives her the keys to the kingdom.

There’s definitely a difference in how Rio and Beth chose to deliver this message to their kids imo. Maybe it’s me but it feels like Beth’s wording (especially in the context of Beth and crime) was more encouraging her daughter to wait at the table for scraps - she’s banking on this other kid sharing, in the same way Beth wasted her entire life on Dean, hoping he’d amount to something. Whereas Rio was telling Marcus to tough it out for a little while, wait til the other kid was done, and then it’ll be his turn.

Beth, in that final scene, is just peak arrogance. She’s so infuriatingly smug, calling herself Rio’s boss. She probably genuinely believes that the message she’s giving her daughter applies to her situation, that she’s earned her current position. It’s a pretty solid example of her entitlement, across the board, because she truly thinks she’s been patient and now she’s reaping the reward.

It’s a good reflection of how she always used Rio as a surrogate for Dean too. She sat around for 20 years, took care of the kids, the house, Dean etc and sacrificed her own ambitions in the process but Dean never rewarded her for that. Dean squandered their finances, cheated on her and then dumped her but rather than hold Dean accountable, she punishes Rio. That stays consistent throughout the show.

Waiting for Dean to share ended up being a waste of her life, but she still doesn’t see it because Rio is once again paying the price for Dean’s ineptitude. She wasn’t given her turn, she stole it. She shot Rio, burned his cash business, screwed him over in every way possible, then declared herself his boss when they finally got rid of Nick.

[borgorbelly]

HELLUVA BOSS S1E8: Queen Bee [MY PERSONAL ANALYSIS/OPINIONS]

hoping these two become the “unlikely” opposite super bestie duo

despite Loona’s guarded persona taking Bee’s tone over her words I really have hopes that they’ll grow closer.

LETS DECONSTRUCT SOME FACIAL EXPRESSIONS SHALL WE?

sorry for low quality first pic lets just dive in

okay wait but can we talk about how crisp their facial expressions are? like idk im amazed at how expressive they are for lil animations *sob*

OKAY so as @bibluebutterfly so perfectly highlighted it in a post that wont let me link for whatever reason so im using a screenshot:

I may be reading Beelzebub wrong but I think she’s pretty genuine. Tone-wise she comes off bitchy but I think that has more to do with her character design being the “HBIC” or popular party girl. Her words matter more than the tone of voice they come off in IMO, and during the episode her words and actions show kindness and genuineness (is that a word?).

Her sin is gluttony, so she’s for funsies, for what you want. Throughout the whole episode we see Beelzebub being pretty much a perfect hostess, making sure everyone is okay and having a good time. Bee also alerts Loona of Blitz not doing well - which, lets be objectively honest here- anyone would want someone to do if their loved one is clearly not okay at a party. So W for Queen Bee on that one.

the only time she gets “spicy” so to speak is when Loona took her words the wrong way and got spicy first. She also is shown apologizing to Tex for being that way toward Loona. though i do hope we see a future scene where they acknowledge this and it sparks their friendship or something.

I do think that the “spat” between Loona and Bee was just a simple miscommunication. Loona took Bee’s words differently than Bee meant them. Beelzebub literally meant Blitz was “not okay” emotionally/on an energetic level. NOT that he was a “not okay” kind of guy. and, at no real fault of her own, Loona took it in a hostile way because of her traumatic history. She’s looking for threats everywhere as a safety precaution, and is being self destructive in the process.

I’ve been seeing discourse about the lack of dimensionality to the writing of the female characters and while it didn’t originally cross my mind i do totally agree and want to acknowledge that here. i’m praying that they’ll fix it by giving us a beautiful friendship between Bee and Loona that is vulnerable and multidimensional and fulfilling. maybe even a lil fruity lmao. i love Tex and Bee together tho don’t get me wrong, i’m just musing atp.

also honorable mention to this post by @stolitz-is-endgame that for some reason again i can’t link:

okay so that wasn’t really an analysis of the whole episode, just of the parts that’ve been taking up so much of my brain space. but yeah those are my thoughts. apologies if im just saying things everyone thinks/knows i am just excited and love this show and cant hold in my thoughts any longer.

pls if you have anything to add leave a comment!

[georgieluz]

Lmao not gonna lie… it’s been a long day and I don’t know if I sent you asks for this particular ask game so please excuse me if I did 😃

1. Who was your first favourite character?

2. Is there a character you liked/disliked at first, but then changed opinion on throughout the show?

3. When did you first watch the show?

4. If you could pick three characters to be on your zombie apocalypse team, who would they be and why?

5. If you had to be one of the Easy boys for a day, who would you be and why? What would you want to do?

7. What’s your favourite quote from the show?

8. How did you find out about the show?

10. Would you ever do the same thing the boys did if you got the chance? Why/why not?

12. What do you think your army nickname would be if you were in it?

14. How many pairs of socks would you bring to Bastogne? [Because, as they say, socks are important!]

15. If you had to have a sidekick that was one of the guys from the show, who would you pick and why?

16. If you had to pick a trait from any of the boys that would be your main trait, which one would it be?

18. If you had to be named after one of the boys, who would it be and why?

19. What song [beside the original scores] do you connect the most with the show?

20. If you have a(ny) ship(s) when it comes to the show, which one(s) is your absolute favourite?

(Please ignore the fact that I basically sent you all the asks in the list lmao… let’s say I’m just really interested in your answers 🙃)

omg louise i thought you'd copy and pasted the whole thing in here at first lmaoo but i love it! okay let's go!!

1. Who was your first favourite character?

my love lewis nixon!! he was my guy from the get go and tbh he'll always be my favourite.

2. Is there a character you liked/disliked at first, but then changed opinion on throughout the show?

never quite as drastic as going from straight up disliking someone to liking or vice versa, but it took a few episodes to fully appreciate a lot of characters just from the structure and ensemble nature of the show. the funniest thing is that when george appeared i genuinely thought 'omg he's gonna be the annoying one, isn't he?' and like i wasn't wrong, but he's Endearing Annoying, not Annoying Annoying, and well, look at me now, i am a george luz enthusiast through and through

3. When did you first watch the show?

i don't have an exact year but i was about 14 maybe?

4. If you could pick three characters to be on your zombie apocalypse team, who would they be and why?

okay here's where we need to get serious about strategy! everyone will pick shifty bc of his skills, but i reckon since i already have a decent enough aim from doing archery, it would be silly to waste a pick on another good shot (sorry, my guy, you are welcome to join our team further into the narrative). so my picks would start with doc roe because c'mon, every zombie apocalypse team needs a medic! then i'm gonna choose george for group morale and being-my-boyfriend purposes. and then for my final pick, i'm struggling to choose between johnny martin for protection purposes and lipton for keeping-us-alive and doc-roe-is-gonna-kill-george-and-julian-otherwise purposes.. i feel like lip would be such a great all rounder choice, he can protect us in so many different ways, both physical and emotional. okay, lip it is. i think johnny would find us so annoying and would just be like "y'know what? fuck this i'm going off by myself". also, during this thought process i just imagined how terrible a me, tab, webster and babe team would be... like we would not last! we'd be the prettiest apocalypse team around but we would NOT survive!

5. If you had to be one of the Easy boys for a day, who would you be and why? What would you want to do?

speirs! because it would be fun to experience being someone that people are scared of for a day bc i'm the least intimidating person ever lmao.. i'd go around terrifying everyone with vague silent threats or just saying the most out of character shit to people, like wishing them a good day and complimenting them, because i think that would be even scarier to hear from speirs

7. What’s your favourite quote from the show?

let me think of this and get back to you because i have too many and really need to narrow it down!

8. How did you find out about the show?

i already answered this one over here

10. Would you ever do the same thing the boys did if you got the chance? Why/why not?

for me to jump out of a plane you would quite literally have to drug me, drag me into the flying tin can and throw me out yourself tbh

12. What do you think your army nickname would be if you were in it?

i already answered this here, but feel free to suggest one if you please haha

14. How many pairs of socks would you bring to Bastogne? [Because, as they say, socks are important!]

answered this one here too, but i will say once again: ALL of them!

15. If you had to have a sidekick that was one of the guys from the show, who would you pick and why?

me and babe would absolutely kill it as the silly lil ginger duo, we'd be so annoying but everyone would let us get away with murder bc they think we're cute

16. If you had to pick a trait from any of the boys that would be your main trait, which one would it be?

i was gonna pick something fun but y'know what i would genuinely benefit from? a little bit of lipton or winters patience and will power bc i have literally zero whatsoever and it's actually annoying as hell

18. If you had to be named after one of the boys, who would it be and why?

i actually don't know, that's another one i'll have to think about!

19. What song [beside the original scores] do you connect the most with the show?

somebody to die for by hurts!! i actually can't listen to the song without thinking about easy and certain scenes now

20. If you have a(ny) ship(s) when it comes to the show, which one(s) is your absolute favourite?

this tends to change with the seasons! webgott and winnix will always have me obsessed simply bc it's so There!!! and honestly, winnix had little gay me internally screaming when i watched it with my dad as a teenager the first time.. but i'm a massive rarepair guy so what i'm absolutely living for is lipluz, ronnix, speirsgrant, spalton (please tell me this is speirs and alton more's ship name.. if not, it is now!), a little bit of winteroe and a side of speirluzton.. i'll never say no to a big plate of baberoe either!!

for this band of brothers ask game :)

[quodekash]

OKAY WHAT WAS THAT (this is code for: ive just finished episode 2 of boss and a babe and now its time for my commentary bc i cant keep my thoughts to myself and i deeply apologise for it) 

“three and zo, my gaming teammates, have the same kind of love you have” I FREAKING KNEW IT OMG 

and FINALLY OMG IVE WAITED SO LONG TO SEE DRAKE SATTABUT LAEDEKE’S FACE ON MY SCREEN AND THAT DAY IS FINALLY HERE 

it’s always so abrupt and weird to hear people speaking english in this show. i dont like english as a language. please stop speaking it. either drake or force (genuinely cant tell because the english is so jarring to hear) literally says “oh my god man” and my brain is very confused 

oh how i have missed seeing this man’s absurdly thick eyebrows that i cherish so dearly 

THREE AND ZO ARE TOO CUTE 

THREE CALLING ZO TINY??? 

THREE SAYING SO CAN ONLY CARRY ONE THING AND IT’S HIS HEART 

ZO FEEDING THREE 

THEM FONDING OVER EACH OTHER 

THEM BEING UNASHAMED AND ADORABLE EVEN IN FRONT OF FORMAL BOSS MAN 

ah shoot theyre becoming soundwin 

aoi is so iconic. “since the boss isn’t here, you guys must help me record a tiktok video” i love her 

ALSO ALL OF CHER’S ENCOURAGEMENT THROUGHOUT THE EP AND HIS LOVE OF LOVE AND HIS ANTI-HOMOPHOBIA-NESS AND HIS EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GBGHBHTB I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

HE SMILES??? HE KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT??? 

“i have no friends, im antisocial, and im gay” lmao same. well, actually not same. same about the gay part. not the rest of it

“do you need more than a hug?” sirs we are tWO EPISODES IN-- 

uM??? 

AND THEYRE JUST GONNA GO FOR IT AGAIN? ALRIGHT SURE THAT’S FINE I GUESS 

you know what, these two really didnt beat around the bush like tinn and gun did. tinngun couldve kissed 67 times and they only did in the last episode. and only twice. and one of those times barely counted. these two just went straight (well, gay) for it and honestly? good for them. 

still not entirely sure how to feel about how its not at all a professional relationship and also what exactly is the age gap here and also there’s the problem with that power imbalance they have but im ignoring all of that for now and hoping they resolve it later 

but my main takeaway from the episode: THREEZO IS CANON AND IM SO FREAKING HAPPY ABOUT IT 

and i didnt at all process anything in that preview of ep3 other than the fact that we’re gonna get a threezo cheek kiss and that thought alone is gonna carry me through this week 

[lifeswack]

I made a small analysis on the recent drdt episode!

(heres the link to the google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jvUy2txjIYfixGA_ortVeSpr1457b5GHb5hsH78vP8A/edit#heading=h.vp6z4l5f7buz ) and now heres what i have so far

insane literature girl (david) analysis

Peeps i used:

 @nsmiaumiau,@moonzeiw

the link to my notes, its very scrambled so beware: 

The Morse code at 4:21 translates to:

"You still believed in me despite everything I've done, but that's just a fantasy isn't it? I simply chose to believe you did. Afterall I'm incapable of being somebody without you

That morse code and the scene at 2:24 are bothreferring to xander, the one at 2:24 is obvious, you can even see david referring to xander as “important” this fact alone could solidify that the person david is referring to at 4:24 is xander however there are still a few more people who it could be 

The reason both instances HAVE to refer to Xander is that David was never really close to anyone else. The only two people it could have possibly been are Hu and Arei, but through a process of elimination, we can rule out Hu since she's still alive. Even if you say Hu no longer respects david, While the Morse code at 4:21 uses past tense, it's safe to say Hu was never very close to David in the first place. Now, let's talk about Arei. She's a bit harder to debunk, but she's also eliminated for the same reason. Arei was only on good terms with David for about a day and a half, and that time was spent focused on her. Additionally, David wouldn't really feel like himself around Arei due to her vulgar and foul mouth, constantly berating everyone she knows. Although she may have changed slightly, she remained aggressive. However, to give Arei some credit, she knew David's secret, but I'm eliminating her as a possibility anyway. Xander is the only person we have confirmation (from 2:24) of being important to David. David even stated that Xander was a sort of role model to him, as Xander represented everything David pretended to be. But I do believe they were genuinely close; I mean, come on, guys, the bromance is there!

Before I present my own theories, let's debunk a theory:

 that David manipulated or asked Xander to kill Teruko. I find this possibility plainly impossible (haha, Tsumugi reference). David is well aware of the consequences of murder and was genuinely distraught and upset when Xander died. Moreover, I don't believe David was the one who said "I have to kill Teruko Tawaki" at the beginning of DRDT; it is widely accepted to be Xander, but I have my own issues with the Xander theory.

Once again, huge thanks to @nsmiaumiau – she, he, they???? – for being a tremendous help throughout this.

The video contains word searches for every character except David, with text aligning to each character. Although some don't seem to match perfectly, we can use the descriptions as our best bet to assign the numbers to characters. Many of them appear nonsensical, like Hu's crossword being "???: Go and cry," Julia's being "Do it like that lets live together!" and Nico's being "even if you try to think idk!!! (Lmao)." I noticed that these texts are either sarcastic or ominous. Let's take Nico's, for instance; it's very sarcastic and oddly worded, so I'll try to make it less headache-inducing: 

some of the word searches mention this mysterious (????) person, and it could either refer to David himself or the red-haired girl who keeps appearing. I'll do my best to make sense of everyone's crossword and figure out their significance.

Crossword analysis

(desclaimer despite coming tpo the conclusion these are davids thoughts i still analayze some of them as random strings of text and not thoughts)

1. Xander - His crossword is odd, saying "I have no idea if it counts (the world of abnormal sentient dance)." All of these make my head hurt, and this one takes the cake, but it does bring up the word "sentient," which I find interesting. Since I've already deduced these are David's thoughts, I'm going to have to look at it from that lens. The part "I have no idea if it counts" is what intrigues me. Like I said before, the Morse code at 4:21 is referring to Xander, so it might be David saying "I have no idea if Xander cares"??? It's definitely a shot in the dark, but I'm doing my best, okay!! The phrase "(abnormal sentient dance)" could be interpreted in several ways. I see it as an odd conversation, think of it as the phrase "the conversation has a mind of its own" – add "abnormal," and it would be akin to an odd conversation or if you add "dance," an odd situation.

2. Rose - Her crossword states "I think, therefore I am": This phrase is a famous philosophical statement attributed to the French philosopher René Descartes. In Latin, it is "Cogito, ergo sum." The phrase expresses the idea that the act of thinking itself proves one's existence. It's a foundational element in Descartes' philosophy and is often seen as a starting point for understanding one's own existence and consciousness.

"(confused)": The addition of "(confused)" after the famous philosophical statement adds an intriguing twist. It suggests that even though Rose acknowledges her existence through her thoughts, she experiences confusion or uncertainty about her identity or reality. The inclusion of this word creates an interesting contrast between certainty (thinking) and doubt (confusion).

3. Charles - The phrase "if you doubt" further proves that Charles is not one to accept things without scrutiny. This trait is vital in chemistry, as it involves testing hypotheses and theories through experimentation and analysis.

The second part of the crossword, "brittle things are broken," indicates Charles' knowledge of material properties, including fragility and how certain substances react under specific conditions. As an expert chemist, he understands the importance of understanding the characteristics of different substances to handle them safely and predict their behavior accurately. But that's just a literal analysis. In Charles's own words, "are you really gonna take that at face value?" So if I were to be crazy and analyze this, I would probably think this is referring to people. Maybe Charles doubted his brother at a certain point in time, and it led to his brother's death? :33

5. Arei - I think it's partially straightforward. The last time Arei got any major screen time was before she died. She cried to David about how she wanted to change and be a good person, questioning why Eden was allowed to be a good person without anyone taking advantage of her. Additionally, she was constantly harassed, assaulted, and verbally abused by her sisters, which resulted in her crying. This is likely what the crossword is referring to.

6. Ace - His crossword says, "'Right now, why do you go insane?'" Again, fairly straightforward. If I had to take a guess, it would be from how malnourished our poor boy is. His motive secret literally was "your body's falling apart, and yet you still refuse to eat." He's probably starving, and some of it is just because he's a hot-headed asshole.

7. Arturo’s is “mind exercises 1 2 3 4!” which confuses me just as much as xanders confuses me, if it were any other maybe i could have come up with something but this really just dosent fit him, he’s a cosmetic surgeon not a psychiatrist, since we know very little about Arturo im assuming this has something to do with his obsession with J, perhaps he finds J’s situation mentally stimulating?

8. Since julias the visual affects artist the part where it says “do it like that” maybee its referencing her more creative side an a way for things to go her way?

The second part, "let's live together," is intriguing and could imply several things. It might suggest her wish for harmony and collaboration in the theater world, emphasizing the importance of teamwork to create a successful production. Alternatively, it might hint at her vulnerability and a desire for deeper connections with others, as she tends to appear tough on the outside but is sensitive on the inside.

Considering her disdain for actors, the phrase "let's live together" might also indicate her longing for a community where egos and spotlight-hogging behavior are minimized, promoting a more supportive and cohesive environment in the theatrical world.

9. I think i already explained what i think of nicos crossword but ill explain again for you dimwits! (haha miu reference)  it's very sarcastic and oddly worded, so i tried to make it less head ace inducing but heres my raw unfiltered analysis “even if i try to think, idk! (lmao)” i think its still david being sarcastic, and he’s referring to one specific moment, when nico tried to kill ace, davids telling him he didint think and that even if he did think he’d be too blinded by rage

[cesei]

thoughts on 8x02

- lena is not in this episode and i’m going to T H R O W H A N D S

- “really bad” DRAG HIM ARYA

- dany on your bike queen SANSA’S in charge

- “she never fooled you. you always knew exactly what she was, and you loved her anyway.” UM I AM SOBBING THANKS

- love that jorah just enters rooms apologising. just about sums him up

- friendzone!jorah

- who does dany’s plaits every morning? bit intricate

- swear she killed off all her hand maidens

- oh so is jon just not going to tell dany they’re related then

- ew you can tell this was written by men SANSA AND DANY ARE NOT SUDDENLY BESTIES

- theon and sansa i’m sobbing

- DAVOS THE DINNERLADY LMFAO

- who had the audacity to makes ser davos seaworth a dinnerlady

- BABY SHIREEN

- the episode is trying to make me cry

- THATS HOW THEON WILL COMPLETE THE REDEMPTION ARC SAVING BRAN

- how is tormund SO cute and SO ominous

- that’s the sarcastic bitch tyrion i know and love

- does an amoeba write missandei’s scenes? no one acts like that

- oh i lie it’s actually quite cute

- oooh i’m sam i’m well ‘ard i’ve robbed a library

- brienne and her LADS

- IS THIS GOING TO TURN INTO AN ORGY

- “they call you kingkiller” “i’m sure someone does”

- tormund straight up CHUGGING the milk

- what the fuck is happening lmao

- actually if i was about to die that’s what i’d do too. fat mood

- already cried about five times so you could say it’s going well

- “was he on your list?” “for a while.” “that’s alright.” that’s so sweet

- that’s...... not even remotely what arya’s weapon blueprints look like

- how did gendry know to make it a whole ass spear

- “was that your first time?” “yeah i’ve never had leeches put all over me.”

- arya shut the fuck uGENDRYA IS HAPPENING IN THE CRYPT

- YOULL GET COLD

- DJFKVJFKSS G H O S T

- MY FLUFFY BOY HELLO WEVE MISSED YOU

- SER BRIENNE OF TARTH LMAOOOO

- WAIT TORMUND THOUGHT BRIENNE WAS A BLOKE AHAHSJFKEBWHXOVJTJWJ

- sorry this is all happening while gendrya are fucking below i can’t concentrate

- that’s the only kneeling you’ll be doing in front of jaime brienne now fuck off

- maybe she’s just sexually attracted to knighthoods

- this is like the bucket list

- LYANNA VS JORAH SHOWDOWNNN

- let pod speak goddamnit

- pod is so good at everything he’ll sit on the iron throne. luv u bby

- THEYRE DOING A TITANIC SINKING SCENE WGAT

- jon you snakey little liar. sam told u not bran

- welp dany took that about as well as i was expecting

- i like the white walker’s boots

- where does dany keep her dragons casually? like during the day?

- fuck ME that was eventful

okay some post-thoughts:

- they’re definitely leaning into a jaime/brienne thing and i’m not happy. YOU NEED TO KILL CERSEI AND THEN YOURSELF JAIME DON’T GET DISTRACTED BY LOVELY LADY KNIGHTS

- i feel like they’re really trying to salvage tyrion’s character by being self-aware that they’ve completely destroyed it and made him an idiot? to the point where they’ve literally resorted to having him repeat his BETTER lines from earlier seasons?

- sansa is growing on me so much. what a hero.

- the gendrya stuff was cute but it felt like gendry really wasn’t into it? and it was super out of character for arya? and would arya spend her last hours fucking in a barn or wherever??? hmm

- daenerys can get in the bin, she’s getting worse on the daily.

- i wasn’t expecting sansa/theon!!!! but it makes sense and i’m feeling it!!

- sansa sticking up for her hubby was great!!!

- finally a ghost sighting!!! i’m ecstatic and you can tell it’s because there were no dragons in this episode. it’s either/or ladies.

- some of the writing was rubbish, some was GREAT. it’s so funny now wtf

- you know it can’t get above an 8 on imdb because of the distinct lack of lena but that was a great fucking episode! i’m ready for war fuckerS

- if ghost dies i die. soz about it

- why are they putting bran in the godswood? isn’t it enclosed by walls? won’t the night king have to kill his way through the castle first? dumb dumb

- bran just skrrts over the night king with his wheelchair

- “no one has ever tried to kill the night king with dragon fire” um...... is that NOT what dany was doing on the ice lake? and also they said the dragons would give them an advantage but the night king is literally on viserion

- okay so theon will die protecting bran, so probably die next episode

- wack to think yara will outlive him

- wonder when melisandre is coming back

- arya will probably kill her on the spot lol

- jaime HAS to survive till the last episode. he’ll kill cersei to protect brienne or bran probably

- okay so theon and jaime have both wronged bran directly, so will have to sacrifice themselves for him. right?

[epcatwastaken]

What I thought Herogasm was being hyped up for:

The raunchiest sex this west side of the city has seen. Dicks everywhere. Positions I’ve never seen before. The Boys also somehow getting roped into the sex because even Butcher and MM said Frenchie would be disappointed he missed it. (Guess this one’s on me because like... how do you top a dick exploding during sex.)

The only thing I actually predicted happening was The Deep getting nasty with fish (or a mollusk in this case), but that’s the lowest hanging fruit when it comes to sex with him. I could check tentacle sex off my bingo card at least lol

What it actually should’ve been hyped up for.

MM. Fucking. SHINED. throughout the whole episode. If the last episode was a beautiful breath of fresh air for Kimiko and Frenchie’s relationship, this was a beautiful breath of fresh air for MM’s characterization. Don’t misunderstand me; I’ve loved MM since the beginning of the series, but he’s always been benched as the background caretaker. He genuinely wants to help others, but so much good characterization can come with that, especially when it comes to one’s own wants and desires, and damn did they hit their mark this episode. I loved watching him fight with his inner self on helping others or being selfish for a change and allowed his moment to go batshit. (Don’t think I missed that excellent commentary he gave Annie about white people (*cough* Butcher and Hughie *cough*) doing the wrong thing and getting a free pass but MM wanting revenge as a black man and getting told to simmer down.) Also finally getting to hit Bucher with the baseball bat had to be therapeutic you can’t lie to me and tell me otherwise lol

The actual pure terror and disgust I felt during the scene with Cherie, Kimiko, and Frenchie vs Nina. I was pretty sure the show wouldn’t kill off Kimiko or Frenchie because of their central role in the story, but hot damn did they make me squirm anyway. Nina showing off Frenchie like a fucking prized trophy and exposing all the trauma he’s been through. Kimiko kicking ass and getting her ass kicked in the process had me watching through my fingers. At least they made up for it with that little scene at the end where they’re comforting one another I haven’t been this invested in a canon relationship in so long and it’s beautiful.

The absolute tension between Annie and Hughie as they both try to do the same thing in totally different ways. I’ve never been one for their relationship for personal reasons, but I’m super invested in them being pitted against one another. Let’s face it; Annie signed up to be a hero from the beginning. She just didn’t think she’d be fighting her idols to do it. Hughie signed up to be a vigilante, even if he’s a super awkward one. He’s lost sight of the reason he originally wanted justice, which was for Robin, and moved onto feeling powerful and using protecting Annie as an excuse. (I still like Hughie as a character but you can like a character while still condemning their actions you don’t have to stan a character 100% of the time we’re big boys here I hope lmao.) Starlight, on the other hand, dropping her hero persona on live Internet and revealing Vought and Homelander to the world was definitely a gasp moment for me personally, because like, she’s finally done being pushed around and doing things the secret way and wants to take action too. Her and Hughie are beautiful character foils at the moment and I absolutely love it. 

A-Train getting a reality check and genuinely apologizing to Hughie for Robin. I mean, on the “Could-Be-Good to Irredeemable Seven Member” scale, A-Train has always landed solidly in the middle for me. He’s an amazing character, very selfish but one push away from doing the right thing if he feels he can get away with it. If the show decided to give him a redeeming moment then take him out in the same breath I will be genuinely upset.

Soldier Boy’s speech reminding me so much of what veterans go through when they come back from war, even down to the PTSD he’s been displaying. Like Homelander, he genuinely believes he’s a good person and doing the right thing. And I mean, he’s definitely an ass in his own way. He’s not a soft uwu trauma survivor. Don’t think I missed him knowing about Cosby’s rape drinks. He’s a jaded, used man and I’d say it’s a decent revision of the character in the source material. 

Homelander getting knocked on his fucking ass holy shit. For the first time in his life, he got knocked down, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it wasn’t a little bit therapeutic. 

I have more I can say about the episode but I think I need to watch it again and really soak in what the fuck just happened

[spikedru]

Hi! So first off, your blog is incredible (probs the best buffy blog I have come across so far?) & second, I have gathered you are a spike fan, super curious to hear your thoughts on the terrible episode in season 6 (?) where he tries to r*pe buffy. I feel like everyone tends to ignore the weirdness of season 6 but I really want to explore other folks opinions on it

lmao thank u for enjoying my bullshit <3

it got kinda long so im putting my thoughts under a read more. tw for discussion of sexual assault

to be frank i dont think ive actually sat down and watched seeing red since the first time i watched the show back when i was like. 14. a lot of shit goes down in that ep that is not fun to watch, nor was it supposed to be. in my personal opinion, i dont like most of season 6. it starts out fine, bargaining and after life are interesting, engaging episodes. the seeds of everyones explosive interpersonal dramas are about to fully bloom, and theres a lot of narrative tension in that regard. but as the characters unhealthy coping mechanisms start to catch up with them and bad decisions after bad decisions are being made, i no longer enjoyed watching characters i love begin to succumb to their downward spirals. the push/pull of negative character development works for some people, but it just wasnt enjoyable to me. i started this blog in march right around the time i was doing my first s6 rewatch in years and i eventually gave up right before riley shows back up because it wasnt fun for me to watch anymore (also because i think as you were is a dumb episode lol) :/ lmao i guess as a depressed 20 something i dont want to also watch a bunch of depressed 20 somethings struggle with real world problems. im still debating whether to just go back and watch the dark willow eps, bc that was fun to see, but other than that ... :/

back to seeing red, while i hate that it lead to an attempted sexual assault, i can understand the narrative path that got them to that point. spike is absolutely in the wrong, he's the one that took it too far, but regardless, from a character perspective i can see how he got to the bathroom. the buffy/spike sexual relationship is absolutely toxic the moment it begins. its built on misunderstandings, buffy using spike without regard for his feelings not understanding that despite being soulless he is his own person with his own emotions, and spike not understanding why buffy is turning to him, that her own self loathing and depression is what is driving her to him as a means of escape, not truly because of a purer emotion like love which is what he wants. their whole tryst is a stew of muddled yes/no mixed signals. and after buffy decides to break it off with spike for good, as a way for herself to begin healing from her depression, it makes sense that he wouldnt fully believe her. she had been turning her back on him and then crawling back so often, why would this time be different? again with the misunderstandings of the relationship between the both of them. they had reached a standstill where neither party knows how the other is interpreting their actions. i like this excerpt from Critically Touched's review of Seeing Red, because i feel like he is able to explain how they got to that bathroom scene in a very succinct way

"Something had to happen with these two. Spike had to just leave the show, die, or do something so bad to Buffy that he'd need to get a soul to even attempt to make things right with her, despite the fact that having a soul makes him a new individual in the process. So, despite obviously not "enjoying" the scene, I did find it shocking and I did find it valuable from a character perspective. Due to their twisted sexual relationship this season, I'm not convinced anything else other than this would result in Spike fighting for his soul to be not just a better man... but to be a man (which is poetically said in "Beneath You" [7x02])."

here is the link to the rest of the review -> [link] which i feel like, as with his other buffy reviews, is able to objectively analyze the episode in a really interesting and in depth way, and also help contextualize the episode not just within the season but the rest of the show. i recommend looking through the rest of his reviews, its an interesting perspective from someone who clearly loves this show a lot and is willing to take the time to analyze both the narrative threads as well as the character development, giving every single character their dues in his analysis.

i genuinely love both buffy and spike a lot as characters. they are both incredibly engaging and interesting, in how they grow and change throughout the course of the show, as well as how they play off each other and what they bring out in each other. seeing red is a difficult episode for a lot of people, and for good reason. while their relationship was toxic for both parties it was absolutely spike that took it too far, his attempted sexual assault is inexcusable, and he pays dearly for his transgression. i dont know if i will sit down and watch seeing red ever lol, its definitely up there with the body for episodes that i refuse to rewatch often (though for entirely different reasons lol).

i hope i explained that adequately. its a sensitive subject and i kno a lot of people understandably dont like spike because of his actions in s6. he had straddled the line between good and bad for so long that he had to reach some kind of tipping point to either go fully good or fully bad, and if he died or left the show it would have felt that his character arc had been cut short or left unfinished somehow. its unfortunate and terrible that the tipping point had to come at the cost of assault towards buffy, but as Critically Touched said given that the nature of their relationship was roughly sexual and full of misunderstandings, i can see how it ended up in that bathroom.

also just as a quick aside the way the scene is shot does an excellent job of evoking this sense of dread and wrong. you can tell immediately something awful is going to happen and it makes my skin crawl

[talkingbl]

The Good and Bad of Make It Right (MIR)

SPOILER WARNING. TW: rape, dubious consent, minors

I wasn't going to do this one for a number of reasons but honestly, my thoughts are so overwhelming that the review just wrote itself so...enjoy I guess

The Good:

FrameBook. If you've watched MIR, you had to know this would be king. Ohm is so incredibly gifted that even 15 year-old him had us all thinking Frame had genuine feelings for Book. Their intimacy just seems so natural at moments that it covers up some of the more amateurish aspects of Ohm's acting. But aside from the incredible chemistry Ohm is able to manufacture as Frame and the vulnerability Toey exuded as Book, it was the unconventional progression of their relationship from competitors (at least in matters of the heart) to lovers that made them so iconic.

Lukmo's character arc. As the series progresses, Lukmo becomes increasingly more sympathetic and is shown to be a loyal, loving friend. By the end of Season/Series 1, you're starting to get all the good parts of him and less of his obnoxious teen-boy "humor."

The first few episodes of TeeFuse. Tee is one of the better characters in this series and much of the charm of the series comes down to Boom's charismatic disposition, Tee's genuine and unquestioning interest in Fuse, and the way Fuse struggles with his feelings for Tee. Because MIR was made in a time before Thai BL tropes were really a thing, Fuse's struggles with accepting his feelings for Tee seem novel and are explored in a much more raw and almost childish way. This inner struggle is different from, for example, that of Pick in Puppy Honey because instead of becoming homophobic, Fuse's mulling over and ultimate acceptance is largely portrayed as more of general indecision and curiosity on his part. Specifically, indecisiveness about whether to break up with his girlfriend. Of course the internalized homophobia is part of why he doesn't accept his feelings for Tee, but not only does he not constantly vocalize it (and no, being in denial about being gay isn't *necessarily always* synonymous with homophobia), but his rejection of Tee also comes largely as a consequence of his already having been in a relationship with Jean.

Most of the actors are the same age as their characters. This roots the world the story takes place in and, by (most likely unintentional) extension, serves as an escape from all of the toxic standards set by shows that cast ripped 28 year-olds to play high school seniors.

The communication between all the couples at one point or another is some of the best in BL. With the notable exception of late series TeeFuse, all the couples have moments of brilliance where communication errors in a typical Romance show would completely ruin the relationships between couples. In MIR, the process of solving communication-related problems is either given realistic development or doesn't need development in the first place due to characters immediately solving any issues that could stem from miscommunication.

Yok as a concept. The fact that he is a main character and is more on the femme side (and has a best friend who is also quite femme) feels like a revolutionary step forward in Thai BL (until you realize it never really happens again 🙃).

The Bad:

FrameBook. This relationship literally should not exist. Its beginning is worse than even TharnType. And it's not really that you can't have characters experience trauma like rape in stories at all, it's just that you shouldn't then downplay it dramatically and then make the rapist a sympathetic character...

Lukmo. I fucking hated this guy at the beginning lmao. He's homophobic, colorist, gross, annoying, and just an all-around asshole. He had 0 redeemable qualities until he saw TeeFuse kiss

TeeFuse. Ch- I just- So Tee rapes a drunken Fuse and its effects are played for laughs, and then they spend the better part of the season not actually being together with Fuse just being completely indecisive about what he wants and Tee just?? doing whatever the hell with discount Saint Suppapong for a couple of eps to, I guess, move on from Fuse? I don't know girl the whole thing was just weird to me.

Most of the actors are the same age as their characters. So let's just address the elephant in the room that all of these kids behaved like adults at some point in the story...ESPECIALLY Frame, Tee and Fuse. This is quite controversial because while it's not out of the ordinary for teen shows to showcase its characters grappling with the complexities of sexual relationships, it is if the actors playing those characters are themselves teenagers. Peak would've been no older than 16 when he began filming for MIR, Ohm no older than 15, and Boom 14-15. And they were not just hinting at sex scenes but actually showcasing foreplay in their scenes.. I understand that it is normal/natural and am not necessarily saying teens can't portray teen issues, I'm just saying that some of it can be seen as a bit much given these guys' ages. Not to mention the fact that the entire approach to sex was very unrealistic. Like, the idea that Book and Fuse would basically be in severe pain for days after having sex just shows a lack of basic knowledge on how average human bodies work and the safe/enjoyable ways to engage in penetrative sex. But beyond the general unsafeness of the sex are some of the ideas that the show portrays as normal in teen relationships that are completely unrealistic--though I find that the most egregious levels of unrealism come in Make It Right 2.

The toilet humor reached new levels of gross with this one.

The casual colorism is just all over the place and is, in fact, one of the main character's primary motivations for befriending another main character (thinking of Rodtang and Fuse here). In fact, I stopped watching MIR 3 times mere minutes into the first episode after Fuse talks about his sister's line of whitening serums. The incessant worship of white skin (and consequent down-putting of dark skin) from multiple characters at several points throughout the show is not only extremely problematic but actually annoying.

The concept of "to get over a girl date a guy" is not even actually the joke it seems to be in this series and is, in fact, played as a legitimate coping strategy. The main problem I have with this is that none of the guys who use this strategy are ever actually interested in men before they try this out. They are painted as straight boys who can magically turn gay at the drop of a hat and, seeing as how it is never refuted, this is dangerous messaging.

I have like a thousand very complicated thoughts on this show but this is a good gist I think. So....yeah.

[littlepurinsesu]

V Watches MagiReco - Episode 13 Review

*Spoilers for Magia Record Anime Episode 13*

(This review will focus on Episode 13 only. I will be writing a separate review for the anime season as a whole!)

I have so many mixed feelings about this episode that I honestly don’t even know where to start LOL xD There are some parts that I hated and some that I loved, and so many reactions ranging from “WTH WAS THAT?!?” to “UH OKAY...” to “OMG YASSSSS!!!!!”

I’ll going to try my best to unpack my thoughts as coherently as possible, but this review will probably still end up being the most incoherent of them all because of all my mixed feelings for all the changes the anime made xD

To start, Mifuyu is definitely more antagonistic in the anime compared to what I remember of her in the game lol. And honestly I feel cheated that they always seem to tease us with some kind of confrontation between Yachiyo and Mifuyu, but the latter always summons that giant moon and escapes before anything can happen. It’s honestly a little anti-climactic and a bit of a waste, what with all the tension they’ve been building between these two, but then again, it doesn’t really happen in the game, either, so I guess it’s not really the anime’s fault for not “delivering” haha :P

Alright, since I’m going in chronological order, may as well get the biggest disappointment out of the way first: Iroha and Yachiyo’s argument. I don’t think I can even begin to put into words how utterly disappointed I was with this part, seeing as it was one of the most crucial plot points in the game and definitely one of Iroha’s most shining moments. Firstly, the way Yachiyo revealed her wish lacked emotion and impact for me. The music didn’t even change, and there was no sense of this being the revelation of a huge secret/mystery that the story has kept under wraps all this time. At least they added a nice flashback sequence to show Yachiyo’s past and the reasoning behind her wish, rather than having it all just come out of her mouth verbally, so props to them for that, but I was still quite unimpressed with the way they went about this pivotal moments.

Next up in my complaints is the Rumour. I was so, so, so ready to see my girl Iroha finally standing up and holding her own in a battle, especially considering how weak she’s been portrayed throughout the past 12 episodes. I was expecting an intense fight with the Rumour--some struggle, some more determination, anything. But no, another case of what I call the “one-shot curse”. Iroha literally just ran up to the Rumour, aimed her arrow, shot, and BAM it’s gone. One of the most crucial battles in the story lasted about 20 seconds in total (yes, I was so petty and pissed off that I went back and counted lmao), and the way Iroha suddenly “powered up” so drastically made no logical sense to me at all. We never even saw her gradually increase in power or fighting capability throughout the story so far. Heck, she’s hardly even done anything in the past battles, and suddenly she can one-shot a Rumour all by herself? How. Pray tell, how.

And the final major complaint that follows on from this chain of unhappy ranting: Iroha and Yachiyo solidifying their friendship. I did like the way the screen melted away to reveal Iroha standing in front of Yachiyo, almost like a mirror image. Sadly, that’s the only thing I liked about it LOL. Iroha getting angry at Yachiyo was such an important development and such a huge moment for our protagonist, but here it just... doesn’t happen? She’s still the same smiling and gentle Iroha we always knew. Which is nice and all, but in my opinion, we really needed to see kindhearted and soft-spoken Iroha truly snap. We needed to see Iroha speak up and tell Yachiyo to cut her bs and to declare herself the leader. And the way Yachiyo accepts so quickly and hardly even tries to put up an argument is just... I don’t even know what to say anymore apart from constantly question why they had to rush so many crucial moments, to the point where they had zero emotional impact. I often wonder if I’d still have these complaints if I didn’t play the game and have expectations of how I wanted/wished/expected certain things to be adapted. So I dunno, maybe I wouldn’t have a problem with these things at all if I went into the anime blind ^^;;

Oh, and another thing that made zero sense to me was how Iroha went from being perfectly normal to unable to walk or talk within the span of about two seconds. Logically, I get that she probably used up too much magic one-shot-ing that Rumour just before, but they could’ve at least had her show some signs of physical strain during her talk with Yachiyo so that the sudden transition of her physical state doesn’t feel so abrupt and out of nowhere. I guess this is a minor detail that I can let slide, but it just reminds the viewer again and again of the problems that come with rushing. And rushing for what? Well...

The second half of the episode is an obvious answer. They were clearly rushing these game-story moments to fill up the rest of the episode with anime-original content. And while I’m still bitter at what the cost was, I will ironically say that the second half of this week’s episode had some very pleasant and interesting surprises! (Apologies for all the salt and negativity so far ^^;; Finally, onto the positives!)

I’d been wondering for a while if we were going to meet Holy Mami this week, even though the anime had already established Mami as a member of the Wings of Magius earlier on. And I did genuinely like the way they portrayed Mami in this scene. She legitimately looks out of her mind at some points, and it’s clear that the truth about Magical Girls has taken a huge toll on her mentally. Her mini battle with Yachiyo was short but sweet, with lots of nice movements and imagery, especially this shot right here:

The ribbon concealing her eyes and her Soul Gem (aka her soul and her actual self) is a really, really nice way of depicting that Mami is not really in her right state of mind, and that her current actions aren’t really her. I know a lot of fans didn’t like the brainwashing thing in the game, and even though it looks like they’re still keeping that in the anime (judging by Mami’s behaviour, she definitely seems brainwashed to me), at least they’re portraying it in a nice way. By the way, I applaud Yachiyo for being able to defend herself against Mami for so long with a whole person on her back xD

Sayaka was probably my favourite thing out of the entire episode. Again, like with Holy Mami, I was really hoping we’d get to see her this week ^^ I loved how her entrance parallels the way she saved Homura from Mami in Rebellion, and I’m sure hardcore fans will pick up on that before her identity is even revealed ;) Sayaka was never my favourite character out of the Holy Quintet (even though I still liked her a lot!), but oh my gosh she was amazing in this episode. I think it’s something to do with the cape? Maybe it’s the cape LOL but gosh she really did seem like a knight-in-shining-armour askjfha;sj (♥ω♥*)

And back to Mami... that part with her losing her mind (literally) after Sayaka shows up was creepy but also perfect. I like that she seemed to temporarily regain her sense of self when talking to Sayaka, but then just the talk of her guilt and shame and everything just comes back to haunt her again, and we see her succumb and lose herself once more. I didn’t think her transformation into Holy Mami would be portrayed in this way, but this is better than what I imagined. You actually get a sense of how painful the process is, and feel how much against her will it is to fall to a point where she’d hurt her friends and other innocent people. The whole idea is disturbing, but each time I think back on her reaction to finding out the truth in the original anime, this really doesn’t seem too far-fetched at all.

That entire battle between Mami and Sayaka/Yachiyo was kind of cool and kind of weird at the same time xD Honestly I can’t imagine Sayaka and Yachiyo to be able to run around freely with that many bullets flying all over the place, much less repel all of them, which Sayaka is shown doing at one point xD Iroha using her Doppel again is another thing that I didn’t really like, though. I just really don’t like how Iroha is always shown to be utterly useless fighting in her Magical Girl form and always has to end up relying on her Doppel to do anything. (Except for that previous battle with the Rumour that I discussed just before. Let’s not get me started on that again lmao.) But it’s nice to see Yachiyo using her Doppel as well (it looked really cool!), and I really liked that minor detail about how easy it is to lose yourself when using your Doppel. It’s not something we think much about when playing the game because of the game mechanics, so it’s always interesting to think about what the Doppels entail from a story perspective :) Anyway, despite some logical inconsistencies and Iroha resorting to her Doppel yet again, I did really enjoy this battle, and it definitely made up for the lackluster “battle” that we got with Iroha and the Rumour. We can really see where the budget went this week, huh xD

I also really loved how Touka literally just sits there sipping tea and ignores all the chaos happening around her. She shows no desire to help Mami or step in just in case something happens to her (since Mami’s on their side now and all), which, to me, really goes to show how purely cold-hearted Touka is. Or has become. (Shhh game spoilers xD)

And while we’re on the topic of Touka, I’m going to talk about how much I absolutely adored that final scene. It’s hard to visualise it while playing the game, so seeing the scale of the Wings of Magius was possibly frightening. We’ve always known that there are heaps of Feathers, but just seeing them all packed together in one big creepy dark hall, all cloaked and hooded, really goes to show the immense size of this cult. It’s not just some small club created by a few girls. The scale of this cult is insane. As for Touka’s speech? Inspirational. And I say that with full knowledge of the Magius’ crimes and wrongdoings. Honestly, with the way she speaks, I can’t imagine many Magical Girls being able to say no and walk away if they knew The Truth already. Touka is one amazing and charismatic speaker, and even though we’ve always known that she had to be to some extent to get so many Feathers, seeing it in action was truly a different experience. Terrifyingly persuasive and frighteningly charismatic, that child.

And that is why I applaud Rena. She’s able to stand among so fellow Magical Girls, listen to someone preach about salvation after literally just finding out the truth and learning about her own inevitable fate, not know of the dark side of the Magius, and still be able to walk away. Rena gained a new level of respect from me with that one simple decision, and I already loved her heaps before this. And Kaede really did join the Wings of Magius, huh :O We even got a shot of Kuroe! Welcome back (?), girl! xD

I quite liked how they showed the rest of Team Mikazuki joining in such a subtle way. It’s much more impactful to tease it like this rather than straight-up showing you the process of them joining right from the get-go. The way they end the season like this leaves a very haunting and unsettling feeling, especially considering that Iroha gets taken away from Yachiyo as well! Now that definitely wasn’t in the game!!! xD I was expecting the season to finish with Iroha and Yachiyo back at Mikazuki Villa alone and swearing to save the rest of the team, so this definitely came as a HUGE surprise to me. I’m really curious as to how they’re going to go about this change, as well as the change with Kaede joining up and the obvious Kuroe thing. (Btw Sayaka literally sweeping Yachiyo away like Prince Charming almost had me swooning LOL Sayaka was seriously SO COOL in this episode!)

And finally, we have Alina. I’m honestly still pissed off at how they handled her introduction, and wonder if anime-only fans can even tell that she’s a Magius and not just a Feather or some other kind of position (like Mifuyu), but I did enjoy the final scene of her. I think it makes it quite clear that Alina is going to be one of the Biggest Bosses, even among the antagonists, and the way she name-drops Walpurgisnacht was not what I expected but a pretty good decision, in retrospect. Anime-only fans will definitely feel that sense of familiarity they want just by hearing that name. Since this Witch is so iconic to the original anime and we probably won’t be seeing her until the very end of the next season, I think it was a nice idea to drop the name here to keep those anime-fans who expect lots of explicit PMMM references happy and hooked. In fact, the combination of Holy Mami and Sayaka’s appearance and the mention of Walpurgisnacht all in one episode makes me think they packed them all into the season finale to ensure that these anime-only PMMM fans will be back again for the next season (since us game players will almost definitely be back anyway haha xD).

Oh, and that ending song is so good! I loved “Alicia”, but this song was a really nice way to end the season and had a definite kind of “season finale” feel to it.

So yeah, that basically sums up my thoughts for this jam-packed episode xD Lots of stuff I feel could have been handled A LOT better, but also a lot of stuff that was absolutely amazing. The second half was significantly better than the first; that fight with Holy Mami and the ending with Touka and Alina were definitely the best parts.

I’ll be writing up another review post for the season as a whole and posting it separately, so I’ll end this one here and save my overall impressions for that one ^^ If you’ve read to the end, thanks so much for reading and I hope to see you there as well ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

[vrainsrewatch]

episode 18 thoughts

so i decided i wanted to watch this duel all in one day, so that’s why i wasn’t around yesterday~ tomorrow is the last day of my break before starting my new job, so hopefully i can work out a new schedule for this after i get used to it.

enough about that though!! this is one of my favorite duels in all of vrains, so i’m super pumped to be rewatching it! this one gets pretty heavy though, be warned lol

the episode starts out with akira explaining what he’s just learned...

and man, part of the reason i love this duel so much is because of how they absolutely nailed playmaker’s expressions. i won’t go into too much detail, but i’ve been in a...somewhat similar situation, where there was someone who for whatever reason believed they understood what i had gone through and should just let them handle everything, while not understanding part of my healing process was handling it myself. the idea of giving up my control over certain things was completely out of the question, and that’s part of what makes this duel was great to me. playmaker perfectly illustrates those thoughts and feelings.

i’m sure i’ll talk a lot about that throughout the next few posts, but i’ll stop myself there for the time being lol. 

anyways,

this was already hinted to us, the viewers, but not to any of the characters really, so i love how shocked kusanagi is. big businesses are generally pretty shady, but the LI is obviously in a different league lol. it makes sense that he was surprised.

and here’s one of my biggest reasons for disliking akira initially. i think he does grow as a character, but to be honest with y’all, i’m still not overly fond of him lol. i love his relationship with aoi, i appreciate his growth, but man.

the fact that he saw any of that data and was like, “nah, better not let the kid who was used for this project see any of the data. nvm the fact that he is searching it out on his own, so clearly it’s important to him, but he shouldn’t have to worry about this. i can do it” just. 

i’ve seen a few people say that they like akira for this, and i won’t disagree that it’s a realistic way to react. but playmaker is right. he has the right to learn what he went through. why he went through it.

then we get:

it’s still a bit weird to see everyone in vrains questioning this when i’m so used to the concept and to the characters being used to it, lol. but it’s nice to see that train of thought continued. they all have time to come to terms with it, just like we, the viewers, do. it’s cool.

but then akira continues to be an idiot:

and like, honestly. i don’t think he’s doing anything horrible. i don’t think he’s being mean. i think he’s being stupid lmao. he obviously does care, just... doesn’t know how to handle this kind of situation. he’s so used to handling everything, taking care of aoi, and even in his former position he had employees that worked under him, so it makes sense. but he’s not the only capable person around, and he needs to let others handle their own issues.

and also, is it any wonder why playmaker doesn’t let akira take care of it? besides all of the obvious, he’s just gotten confirmation that the company he works for had something to do with the lost incident, lmao.

seriously, people knock on vrains for a lot of things, and like, you do you man. if this show wasn’t your fave, that’s cool. not everything is gonna jive with everyone and there’s nothing wrong with that!

but vrains really, really does this right. i love and will always love how it handles yusaku’s trauma through the series, and i genuinely feel blessed that we got him as a ygo protag.

but on yusaku’s last point, they agree to duel:

i hate to break it to you, ai, but you’re in a ygo show. you don’t really have a choice LOL

i also really love how kusanagi is handled in these eps. he’s not a victim, not in the same way his brother or yusaku were involved, but he was still deeply effected. how could he not be? he basically gave up his life to become a hacker and try to figure out what happened to his brother so he could help him. he had to watch as his once sweet little brother became a shell of a person, and nothing he did could stop it.

but anyways, something sad in a different way for a sec:

i, of course, immediately thought of the final duel and how yusaku finished the duel with decode talker. that....really hurt to hear with that context lol. 

ow, my heart.

but at least ai’s also got some non-depressing lines to break things up a little:

seriously lmao what is duelsick??? i always wondered why it bothered him so much lol

but this episode is very depressing so that didn’t last long, whoops. we get to find out next about akira and aoi’s upbringing:

but here’s the thing: this is so, so different. it’s why playmaker and kusanagi get so angry and lash out. i am not at all denying that what akira and aoi lived through was terrible. they had it really rough, and it clearly hurt them both and changed how they view the world and live in general. 

but he literally just looked through the LI files he knows at least somewhat how different these situations are, in fact, he literally says that he doesn’t know the pain playmaker endured. 

my own personal feelings aside, this is a great look into akira’s character. just like with his own little sister, he has a hard time relating to other’s problems. he has a hard time understanding how they’re feeling, glancing at something and thinking he knows what’s best. it’s consistent with everything we’ve seen from him so far, and while it makes it easy for me to dislike him, i completely understand why people really liked him and his development. 

he was never a bad person. just a misguided person trying to help when he shouldn’t have, or should’ve done differently. his heart is truly in the right place, and yusaku even acknowledges that:

and it’s good to see that by the end of the series, he and aoi can finally fight together, understanding each other. and i’m really happy about that.

i really do love their relationship. they’re great siblings, even if they’re not related by blood. it’s really rare to see such caring step siblings in media, so i’m really happy we got them!!

but also, talk about a smack in the face. i won’t let this six year old be unhappy, he explains to the person who, as a six year old, was kidnapped and tortured for six months as he hides the explanation of that event from them. lmao. but this emotional investment i have is what makes this such a good duel for me! it’s so high stakes, and the voice acting is so on point. i love. 

obviously, though, neither kusanagi nor playmaker take that very well:

i remember sitting on my couch, watching this episode for the first time, and just being blown away by this scene. it’s so powerful. every time i rewatch this, i am still amazed and i can feel my heart pound lmao. it’s not very often we see playmaker get this emotional, which definitely makes this impact greater, but the same for kusanagi.

he’s a much more expressive character, but while he’s serious about his job of helping yusaku, he’s more laid back in every day situations. and even while he’s on the job, he often smiles. to see that kind of character in this kind of a fury makes for a really, really big impact.

i love this. it so perfectly sums up that feeling, why someone would get so angry in this kind of situation. i could talk all day about it, but i have a few other episodes of this duel and i’ve been writing this post for like 40 minutes lol

i wonder if this is also in reference to her own brother situation? i felt like that reveal... didn’t exactly come out of nowhere, most people had guessed it by the time they dueled -- as had i -- but it was definitely rushed imo. i liked their development a lot, don’t get me wrong, but i think it would’ve been cool if she’d like... mentioned it, a few times beforehand. i suppose this could be taken that way, though i definitely hadn’t thought about it that way before haha

also, the dueling in this episode is great. i love the pacing of this duel. even without all the emotional stuff that’s done so well, i think i’d still enjoy just watching this duel because it’s solid all around. 

that’s all i’ve got for this one, but i’m gonna start episode 19 in just a little bit!

[tellywoodtrash]

Hey! Hope you're having a good day! I had a question, if that's okayy. I was re-watching Tanhaiyaan! I loved that series - Barun and Surbhi had amazing chemistry and I loved the soundtrack. I was just wondering what your thoughts on it were. I did search your tumblr to find reviews or something of the sort for the series, but it kinda came up empty. So I thought I'd ask you. Thanks! :)

Hi friend!

I’m well thanks! Hope you’re having a good day too!

I did do some spoilery mini-lbs for the series. Also lol, I wrote a really detailed review when I watched it (Feb 2017), that I didn’t publish then for some reason. It’s not a show I am inclined to revisit, so here are my thoughts from then, with some mild editing.

what works

the chemistry: barun and surbhi have good chemistry, and their scenes together are enjoyable. they sell all the facets, from the flirting to the attraction to the nice comfortable intimacy they settle into eventually.

the progressiveness: i dunno if the sponsorship deal from tinder mandated it, but the show is refreshingly sex positive (… for something coming out of a mainstream tellywood production house.)

the screenplay: the dialogue, especially in the scenes where meera and haider banter and flirt, is fun. 4 lions shows have always had some brilliant dialogue (esp. in the shiny starting days - the honeymoon period.) if you’re into shayaari and the like, you’ll enjoy that stuff in sobti’s soulful husky voice. i’m not, so i found it pretty corny.

what  doesn’t work

the pacing: where tanhaiyan suffers the most, is pacing. i mean, call me cynical, but i found it really hard to buy that two people, who met like what… 4 days ago? could be THIS deeply in love. for godssake, how MUCH can you love, or even KNOW a person with whom your only conversations have been sexy banter? the only deep thing they know about each other is that they’ve both lost important people in their lives. as much as i love sobti and jyoti (who are good actors for the most part and engage me emotionally), i was constantly rolling my eyes that within less than a week of meeting each other, these two had gone through lust-love-a breakup-ENGAGEMENT-second breakup. MAN, THERE’S A LOAF OF BREAD ON MY KITCHEN COUNTER THAT I’VE HAD A LONGER AND MORE STABLE RELATIONSHIP WITH.

the writing: the writing is the second biggest issue i have with this show, almost equal to the pacing. the thing is, the show feels like a fanfic that’s been brought to life. not even GOOD fanfic, but a mediocre fanfiction riddled with plot holes and crack AUs. look, haider and meera have emotional issues. all fine and good. by episode 9, they’ve opened up to each other (trust me when i say i’m using the phrase “opened up” in the loosest manner possible.) and seem to have made a decision to be together. but then lo and behold, in the last 5 minutes of the second last episode, there’s a WHOLE NEW PROBLEM.  like… why? so unnecessary. just to round it out to 10 episodes?

the slap: misandrist that i am, i am usually rooting for the asshole male lead to get slapped, especially on a 4 lions show, where he most probably deserves it. but in this show even *i* was like, oh come on, that was unwarranted. yes, he’s being a jerk, but the slap was just… ??????? and lol, that one slap and a lecture from meera seems to thikaane lagaofy all of haider’s emotional issues instantly. lmao if only it were that easy; kisi ko duniya mein therapy ki zaroorat hi nahi hoti. (which we know that all 4 lions men need. extensively.)

the pandering: sometimes, the progressiveness of the show seems to be be bordering on pandering, with no real motivation behind it other than to SEEM progressive. like tanya, meera’s friend, who talks about wanting “no-strings-attached sex” with an italian guy and in the very next minute, wistfully saying she could have had a half-italian baby by now. um, that doesn’t sound very “no-strings-attached” to me. or the fact that avantika and sid’s whole big issue is solved by ONE sentence from haider “sabka past hai, tera hai, mera hai; ladkiyon ka past kyun nahi ho sakta?” (to which all the ladies appreciatively nod @ haider, seeing him as the new paragon of feminism) … okaaaaay then.

haider’s character suffers from classic 4 lions male lead bipolarity. one second, he’s lovingly asking her how she is the way she is (so “cool and non-judgmental!”), and when the answer includes guilt over death of her family, he freaks the fuck out and shuts down. what, did he think he’s the only person on the planet who’s ever had to deal with death and regret? what does her answer have anything to do with HIM? he gets slapped for talking flippantly about her parents’ death and grief, and within the matter of 2 scenes, he’s telling meera that she “saw his soul”, when he’s revealed absolutely NOTHING personal about himself, including the reason of his grief. he proposes marriage, and when meera (very rightfully!) says it’s moving a little quickly, he explodes to accuse her of loving her career more than him. um, she’s known you for like 72 hours, buddy. calm the fuck down. don’t even get me started on the fact that he just abandoned her with no explanations given on their engagement day, based on some assumptions he made by sherlocking some clues together (that too wrongly.) classic fucking 4 lions male lead move.

meera’s character is a pushover when it comes to haider’s above bad behaviour. i know every 4 lions female lead can be accused of this, but there’s a difference between them and meera; which is that the former have at least known their male leads for months, before getting tied down into matrimony with them. to an extent, they’ve somewhat made their peace and accepted that side of their partners and “love” them despite that, due to other redeeming qualities/the emotional journey they’ve been on with them over an extended period of time. if a dude you’ve known for all of 4 days starts acting like this, why would you put up with it, let alone fall in love with him? i find the ending especially ridiculous, that she takes him back after he ran away on their engagement day, with zero explanations or conversations, telling her friend that she “understands why haider acted like that” and doesn’t blame him at all. sis, sit the fuck down.

all the friends are highly highly annoying. sid and tanya are pushy and passive aggressive when haider and meera don’t want to talk about emotionally draining topics. sid actually YELLS at haider for not being able to process his grief in the manner thatHE demands. then there’s avantika and her nonsense. from her problems with the saas (what was the point of that, really???), to her guilt issues. she goes and confesses her tryst with sameer to haider instead of sid (HOW EVEN? THE TWO MEN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT BODY STRUCTURES. ANYONE WITH THE GIFT OF EYESIGHT CAN TELL IT’S HAIDER), and when he gently tries to help her out, she attacks him for being responsible for raza’s death. like… why? he’s been nothing but an absolute sweetheart to her, being supportive and accommodating her every whim. in the end, she doesn’t even apologize for what she says to him! and don’t even get me started on the worst one of all - raashi, who keeps harping on about PAAP over and over, and even goes so far to say that the avantika and sid broke up because the avantika ate egg when she wasn’t supposed to. i really don’t know why anyone else in that group put up with her and her garbage. the least offensive of them all was that one guy who was more like the wedding organizer than an actual friend, always obsessing about everyone not eating enough.

overall opinion

tbh,  quite a middling series for me. i don’t regret watching it, but ehhhhhhh…. i didn’t enjoy it as much considering the people involved in the project (and the amount of time i’d spent waiting for it - i was following its production quite closely all throughout 2016.) the writing just overall was a washout for me (eta: esp. now that i have seen that ‘unscripted’ interview with jyoti/sobti… the way they were gushing about it, and gul saying she cried writing it and stuff…. and i’m just like… OVER THIS???? REALLY? i mean, there have been episodes of ipk and ib where i have genuinely gotten emotional… this series did not have a single episode that pulled me in with the feelings like that.) i really think it could have used tighter scripting to make it more concise and snappy.i would have ended the show once haider and meera made up after their first big fight.my ideal arc for this show would have been the two characters’ relationship growing from a mere sexual attraction, to a genuine emotional kinship that helps them to start healing from their grief, and left it at that, without cramming in all the heavy love and marriage stuff.

[serialfirstdater]

Toronto #5: Mr. 100 to 0

Boy this story is a doozy! Almost every single friend of mine knows about Mr. 100 to 0 by now and if you know the story, you know why this is my nickname for him.

So as you know, being a tall Asian girl trying to find tall Asian guys to date in Toronto is a struggle. So when I came across Mr. 100 to 0 on Coffee Meets Bagel who liked me, I was intrigued as he was 6′1 (like a rare Pokemon). Face-wise he looked decent and I could tell that he was fit. He’s an accountant so he had a bit more of that serious demeanor in his photos. I matched him and we got talking.

We had a decent conversation going and he eventually asked to meet up when he came back from his Montreal trip. I asked if he would be down to do a videocall first just to save time. He was the first person to reject doing a videocall with me because he believed that videocalls never worked out for him and he’d rather meet in person. I was like, “Okay, I am willing to meet if you are willing to accept my deal-breaker”. Which he did so we set up a date.

When I told some friends about how he was not willing to do the videocall, everyone was saying this was a red flag. I am obviously a lot more forgiving and not as cynical so I took the guy at his word. However, one friend pointed out based on the photos I showed her of him, she thought he wouldn’t be a match for me since he seemed more introverted. Normally I go into dates without any expectations, but with everything I was hearing from my friends, I actually went into the date expecting it to be a dud. Maybe a pleasant conversation at best and it would not come fruition.

First Date

The day finally came and I got to the Korean fried chicken restaurant a bit earlier than him. It was no more than a five minute wait when I saw a tall Asian guy passed me. I waved at him and of course it was Mr. 100 to 0. I was immediately attracted to his appearance, despite that he had his mask on still. When we went inside and were seated, he took off his mask. My thoughts were correct and I was immediately into him.

This was the first time I went on a date with a guy where I found him so physically attractive. This probably gives you an indication that most guys I swipe right and go out with, I would generally be “eh” to. Very rare do I find guys that I think are super cute from the get-go off the apps. I think most of the time men I’m genuinely attracted to are unattainable since they normally don’t go for girls like me lol. However, after meeting Mr. 100 to 0, I am definitely raising the bar in terms of appearance the next time I am swiping cause now I understand what my girlfriends are talking about when they want someone they are immediately attracted to. Whereas in the past, I always allowed personality to raise my interest level for a guy. 

During our date, I made sure that he knew I was very interested in him. I usually don’t flirt because I realized then it’s not because I can’t flirt, it’s because I usually don’t have such a strong interest in someone so early on. And even if I did, it definitely been awhile. 

I just knew during this date, I wanted to lock down a second date. And my directness ended up working after all! I was determined to climb this man at all costs.

Second Date

For our second date, he picked me up at the subway station and drove us to a pho restaurant. I usually don’t eat Vietnamese food out but hey, he was craving and I eat everything. Throughout dinner, we continued to flirt and had a good time getting to know each other. After we walked around the plaza we were in, trying to figure out which bubble tea shop we want our bubble tea from. Throughout this time, I felt like I was a teenager, giddy and excited as we kept bumping into each other during our walk. Eventually he put his arm around me and I knew it was my time to finally grab his hand. We walked hand in hand. Shortly after, we found a bubble tea shop and ordered our items before sitting down at a nearby bench to chat.

Eventually it was time to drop me home. When we got to my place, I ended up going for the kiss when he went in for the hug. Oops. But hey, it led to a long make out session that lasted for 20 mins lmao. Basically living out the teenage years I never had.

The Hookup

Originally, we were gonna meet-up on a Thursday for a third date. However, Mr. 100 to 0 notified me that his parents were gonna be gone for a few hours on Wednesday and considering that we both live at home, I didn’t want to waste this opportunity. (Remember, I wanted to climb this man). I drove 50 minutes to get to his place cause I couldn’t waste anymore time. 

When I entered his room, the first thing I noticed were all the Spongebob posters and cut-outs that you would print plastered on the walls. As in, there was a random picture here and a random picture there. Slapped on the wall haphazardly. He also had an old Napolean Dynamite poster that was frayed and discoloured due to age. Essentially, I was transported into a high schooler’s bedroom and it was not at all sexy. However, being into Mr. 100 to 0, I chose to ignore this for the time-being as I was there for one thing only. 

We immediately got busy and technically I let the foreplay skipped over. This may or may not have led to the downfall of what was going to happen next. 

When my hand went downwards (on top of his pants), I realized that I might not like what  was underneath. It was this immediate dread in the back of my mind. However, I was already here and had gotten this far. I couldn’t really stop. 

And to my internal dismay, I definitely did not like what I saw when the pants came down. At that very moment, I realized how much size did matter to me. Within an instant, my interest shot down to 50% and it proceeded to go down at a rapid decline. We did the deed but man, I would rate the experience 2/5. And 2/5 is below average for me. Which is not good at ALL. 

Mr. 100 to 0 had absolutely no idea what I was feeling inside as I wrestled with my thoughts as he wrapped himself around me post-coitus. He was happy as he haven’t had sex since November. And after we were done, he proceeded to motorboat me... Like three times...

I knew by our second date he was a lot more childish and immature than I originally thought. And truthfully if the hookup went well (*cough*ifhewasatleastaverage*cough*), I’d probably find everything he did to be endearing. However, when you start to lose interest in someone, you start to see all the little things that bother you.

Either way, I left after acting normal as I could while my brain was still processing what had happened. Afterwards through text, I was definitely a bit more distant and freaking out to my friends. I felt like I was Samantha from Sex and the City in this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU6wUqys9bU

Third Date

The next day we met up again, since this was scheduled prior to the hookup and I wasn’t sure about cancelling. I dreaded seeing him and as time came closer to when I had to see him, the more I was freaking out internally (up until the actual date). Just knowing that internally I rather not see him anymore was pretty much at death’s door for this potential relationship. Literally two days before I wanted this guy as my boyfriend!!

After we had food, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else. I wasn’t feeling it at first but eventually agreed. As we started talking, I told him I had something to tell him. He knew it was bad news from my tone and although it was rough, I admitted to him that I was uncertain about us because there may be some bedroom incompatibility. However, I was only bringing this up because I am problem-solver and I felt that if I didn’t, it was gonna end a lot faster. I rather tell him so if there’s any way to salvage this, we could deal with it ASAP. 

Obviously he did not take it too well and said that he needed to process this. I kept his size out of the equation as it is something out of his control but bedroom incompatibility is a thing for many people. I just realized that this part of a relationship is a lot more important to me than I thought. But hey, that’s part of dating. To figure out what you want or don’t want in a relationship.

He then told me that he wasn’t planning to bring something up until later after we started dating properly, but he said since everything was now out in the open, he thought he’d tell me. He prefaced it by saying that this was “out of care” (you can be the judge). He revealed to me that I have a bit of B.O. whenever we were intimate. Granted, I do have hyperhidrosis and it’s not pretty on a hot day. He told me that he doesn’t smell anything when we stand comfortably apart but only when we were together. He asked if no one told me this before and I replied, “Nope.” Trust me, I grew up with myself so I know when it could happen but both times when I was with him, I showered the night before at the very least. I did know that when I went over to hookup, I was sweating profusely due to the heat. So it may be that, which I was hoping wasn’t gonna be a problem but I guess it was.

One friend said perhaps he just didn’t like my scent and that’s a thing where people don’t like certain people’s pheromones. Another friend said he seemed like the type of person that needed to criticize back when criticized. Third friend felt that he was grasping at whatever he could to hit me back cause his ego was bruised.

Either way, what he said made me to continue losing interest in him. I understood that I hurt his feelings cause no one wants to know that their performance is not good. Most of my friends said that they wouldn’t be able to tell him like I did but I came at it with the mindset I was already losing interest and this was my way of fixing things. If I lost complete interest, I wouldn’t even have tried and cancelled the date. However, by bringing it up, it also showed me what kind of person he is when facing this type of real-life problem. I know my style is quite straight-forward and it’s not for everyone. But someone who’s compatible with me would be able to work with me, despite being hurt. Was this too early to bring up? Of course, but I knew myself well enough at this point.

I told him that I was down to still go out with him one more time to see how things go since we had pre-planned a movie date that Saturday. But it was up to him if he wanted to or not. 

Aftermath

He decided not to message me the entirety of Friday. Which was fine, I was expecting not to ever hear from him again considering how his mood soured for the rest of the night. I proceeded to make plans with a friend after work for Saturday, assuming that I was not gonna see him ever again.

At this point my interest was at like 5%. If he agreed to go out one more time, I would still go. Although truthfully I don’t know if things were gonna return to what they were when I was still so into him.

When Saturday rolled around, he ended up messaging me around 4 PM saying that he was no longer interested considering how I was so distant via text and on our last date. Which was fair enough. I was already over it at this point and moving on with my life.

This concludes my dating experience with Mr. 100 to 0. 

[daniedoodles]

Danie’s Dilemmas Ep. 26: Books Closed

Today of all days, I’ll Always Remember You by Hannah Montana could not be taken more seriously. It’s the last day of senior year. In spite of how much I anticipated to cry on this day, I actually didn’t, possibly because I’ve thought about it so often for the last two months (or maybe it’s because my last diploma isn’t until this Thursday so really, everyone’s last day is slightly different). I have so much to say, but none all at once. This has been said time and time again, but I feel like for most of high school, we had the tendency to take it for granted; we all wanted to drop out or give up at some point because it just felt like there was nothing about our experiences that implied that eventually, it would get better. All those times complaining about homework or cramming for exams... except now that it’s over, we can’t help but focus on the good parts about it that have also come to an end, most of which were moments spent with friends doing dumb shit lmao. 2019 so far has proven to be one of the most bizarre years thus far. I’ve spent time with people that I never thought I would get the chance to, endured the most UNserious exam season, and now, the most UNserious last day of school. Since I was not remotely prepared to face the last day in terms of taking the opportunity to formally thank all of the people that made high school as fun as it has been, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and mention them on this episode :) And yes, I will be mentioning names. We’re NOT in high school anymore so there’s no need to play guessing games. 

Vicky: I never know how to start these things without making it sound cringey or sappy, but bitch we have been THROUGH it. Regardless of how we’ve managed to not get into a single class together throughout the entire three years we’ve spent in high school, we somehow managed to stay hella close which you should know by now, I am incredibly grateful for. I haven’t exactly been as active with the group, but that’s only because I know we have all of summer ahead of us to make up for it. Just know that I’m always going to be here to be the voice of reason, but also your partner in crime. We’ve laughed too loud and cried too hard over the dumbest shit, taken bomb ass photos and eaten too much food. I’m so excited for what other dumb shit we can do together. When you’re out on your own adventures, pls text me so I know you’re not dead. I love you, my favourite rat. OwO

Alex: Whew, sis. We came together on the oddest terms, talking about failed love interests and all that bs, but aren’t you glad that it happened? Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had that deep talk at the ridge, wouldn’t have realized how similar we were in terms of how bad we are with gaining closure lmao. I’ve never felt more comfortable to cry as hard as I have about the death of a fictional character as I have been with you, and that speaks volumes because I hate crying in front of other people. Last summer was by far one of the best summers I have ever experienced and I’m grateful to have spent a majority of it with you. Thanks for saving my ass when I snuck out of the house that one time and for staying up and feeding me after I got back from being out until 3am. Now that school’s out, let’s get on that mf tanning grinddddddd. ily bitch. I swear, I feel like I have I lot more to say for you but right now I’m coming up blank. But I feel like you already know what else there is that I have to say... if not, I’m saving it for your birthday (hurry up and be 18 already goddamn). 

Laureen: Laureen you already know we’re on the same wavelength lmao. Even though I feel like I see you the least of all in the group, it’s comforting to know that it doesn’t lessen the integrity (sorry to give u ptsd from the diploma) of our friendship. Being born on days that are so close together really be hitting us different. I swear, there have been so many times where we’re just thinking about the exact same thing, which is both cool and creepy. LIKE OUR GOD TALKS OMF. Seeing that we’re both the moms of the group, we gotta stick together to take care of our crackhead children. But fr, I trust you with everything. My future children, my own life, my phone, my butler ;) How are you not my emergency contact, honestly? We need to have a car talk and see what comes out of that. There is so much more I have to fill you in on. (also don’t forget about clubbing next Thursday eeooow). 

Joscelynn: Let me tell you, Joscelynn, how big of a blessing it is to have you live so close to me. Out of everything that you’ve done for me, I think the one I’m most grateful for is for the time that you “broke” into my house to check if I unplugged my straightener LMAOO... or that time when you just hugged me while I was breaking down in the washroom at the end of the day where I had a test for all four periods. As much as I don’t know who most of your tea is about, it’s nice to know that you’re comfortable to confide in me and the whole group about all kinds of things, even when we don’t ask for the kind of detail you provide HAHAHAHA. Also, thanks for always coming in clutch with all the board games. Much love, Pennywise. <3

Diane: I know we sort of hit a wall with our friendship at one point, but I’m really happy that we were still able to recover from it and rekindle our friendship. I understand that the circumstance is all different now, and we aren’t as attached to one another as we once were back in junior high, but I think there’s some good in that because we were able to grow at our own pace. Although we have to admit that we did grow a little bit apart as well in the process, I like that we are both still able to reminisce fondly on the moments we’ve shared in the past. You’re one of the brightest minds I know :). I feel like I never told you enough but I always appreciated how easily you could bring a smile to people’s faces. Yeah, keep doing it. If you ever need to vent, I’m only a 4-minute scooter ride away. 

Anna: Holy shit sis, idek where to begin. You’re by far the biggest reason why I was able to haul my ass through to the end of high school. If you didn’t look out for my water intake, or the little errors in my calculations... I don’t even want to imagine it. You’ve done so much for me and have had to endure all of my shit that I can’t encapsulate it all into a single letter. I can’t thank you enough for all the memes that have made me piss myself on countless occasions, no matter how old they were nor how often I would look back on it, for recommending me to the program that will finally release me from the constraints of the status of being a “broke ass bitch”, for staying up with me discussing all kinds of things from the environment and ethics, to fortunes, astrology, love, and TEA. We’ve both seen each other at our most vulnerable and beaten down state (which is literally every English class), and we’ve celebrated each other’s triumphs, but most importantly, laughed at our failures (English, again omg). I can’t help but get emotional whenever I think of how you’re gonna be leaving soon for UBC, but it’s not like that’s going to affect how often we keep in touch anyways lol. We can’t just have the kettle always overflow, you know? Fr tho, I’m big fucking sad about you leaving, but I’m also so proud of how far you’ve come. I really don’t know how tf I’m supposed to be able to cope with suddenly not seeing you everyday. Ugh, ew I’m crying now but as I was saying, thank you for everything. I can’t wait to get those dream recorders out on the market after we’ve gathered all the knowledge on neuro/psych and business so we don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night and write out the dreams in our notes anymore. I’ll miss you a fuck ton ON GOD. 

Cheyenne: Cheyenne!! I’m so glad I met you and Anna when I did :)) we made the best chemistry lab group, we basically made titration our mf bitch. There was always so much comfort in knowing that we were all on the same page about not getting assignments done on time for English lmao. You just hear that sigh of absolute relief. I’m happy to have become close enough with you for you to be able to trust me with all the stuff you’ve spilt, and for reading your cards when you need them read. I can’t wait for all of us to actually do shit together this summer, I don’t even understand how we let the summers prior pass us like that. In all seriousness though, Cheyenne, you’re so kind and genuine, I’m glad we’ve gotten a lot closer this year. After summer, I guess I’ll be seeing you around campus!! 

Yuan: Bitch, hay nako. Where to start? I don’t think I’ve ever been quiet OR in a bad mood after hanging out with you. I’m glad that I was able to count on you to distract me from getting any work done in class and for getting photos of mee sleeping. Grabe, nakakabwiset HAHAHAHA. Actually though, I don’t think we’ve been close-close up until recently but I’m still so happy that we are now kasi ang saya mong kasama. Not a lot of people can convince me to speak Tagalog so already that says something. Basta, I’ll keep this short cause it’s not like we’re not seeing each other over the summer. We’ve got a lot of time to make more memories. Pwede nang uminom (thank God). Thanks for all the laughs, and for keeping up with the bullshit I write on this page lol. 

Joaquin: Hey, “best friend” wassup?? We haven’t been close for long either. In fact, we’ve barely just hit the 2-week mark of our friendship. But I will say that that was the most last minute transition from acquaintance - close friend. Even though we’ve been in at least one class together during each of the three years, we weren’t necessarily on active talking terms... until now. Thus far, every moment I’ve spent with you and Yuan, or just you, have all been for the books. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much as I had on that one day that we went to Southcentre. Already I can say that you’re one of the greatest people I know: generous, kindhearted, hilarious, and with a great taste in music. I’m excited for whatever it is that ends up happening in the summer, spontaneous or planned, I can’t wait. :D Ps. Thanks for getting me out of the house lol.

Jay: James, bruh. We haven’t been in touch lately, but I feel like you already know what’s coming to you, considering a majority of my indirects to you are basically just going to get reiterated right at this moment. Always know that I genuinely appreciate all of the deep talks we’ve had in the past and that you’re one of the few people I trust to openly express my thoughts to. I hope everything with tennis continues to go well, and that we get to catch up soon ‘cause lowkey it has been TOO long since we’ve last talked-talked.  

Maxine: Max, by the time you’re back on social media, you’re probably never gonna see this because it’s going to be buried so deep into my feed and I know that you’re too lazy to scroll that far down, but I’m gonna write it anyway. We’ve been friends for awhile now, and only now, in our second semester of senior year, did we manage to get into the same class ever since junior high, and it’s safe to say that there has never been a dull moment with you... to the point where I’m pretty sure we made the teacher hate us. I don’t know why you were so set on saying goodbye today when we literally live in the same community and have each other’s numbers, but aight lol. Max, you really be the OG out here. Every time we talk we can’t help but reminisce on how much we sucked ass at opening our own lockers in grade 7 and to this day it still cracks me tf up. Thank you for dealing w my bs after all this time, and for letting me stay at your place before and after school in junior high. ily  

Jerry and Cam: Y’all we go WAYYY back. Even though you guys didn’t attend school at bob, I still wanted to make a point of thanking the both of you for reconnecting. Plus, this is one of the few opportunities I have to acknowledge the support of my audience (LMFAO) so I thought “why not?”. We’ve only hung out once since February (or March? idek), but that’s definitely gotta change now that we’ve got a lot more free time. Y’all know where to find me when you need advice/opinions/someone to talk to when you’re bored/a tour guide to the boring south lmao (or maybe not that.. I lack street smarts). 

That’s it. I’m also probably going to email my teachers because I did not have the time nor the energy to do anything before the last day of school so that’s how they’re going to get it. Is this what it means to be eco-friendly?? Writing emails instead of actual handwritten cards??? I mean.. okay I guess. 

In conclusion, ending the senior year is bittersweet. If there’s anything I’ve learned from going through it all, it’s that you should get all your shit over with in your grade 10 and 11 years, so you’ll be cruisin by senior year. Also, don’t deprive yourself of hanging out with friends. That shit sucks ass and you’ll regret it a lot. 

ps. just because high school is ending, does NOT mean that this is the end of Danie’s Dilemmas. You really think the tea’s gonna stop there??

For now. 

Keep up. 

x