#lmao lmao lmaoooooo

[vanishintoyou]

oh my fucking god i don't have any clothesssss

[ginpotts]

DOCTOR WHO 1.01 ✧ rose

Do you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid. The first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cause everything looks like it's standing still.

[omnxnom]

so I watched sonic 3. team sonic definitely met hello kitty in tokyo ✨🎀

bonus doodles + a sleepover party! 👯‍♀️💝 (from @gaiamoonflayer’s tweet)

I hope u enjoyyyyyy~ <333

[thatlesbeanjew]

Telling my coworker bestie about Epic: The Musical

Me: “it’s based on the Odyssey and the story of Odysseus-“

Bestie: “Wait, is that the guy that falls in love with his mom?”

Me, chokes: “N O ! No! That’s Oedipus!”

[factfinders]

Moo deng catching strays...

😭😭

[royalarchivist]

Slimecicle: [After singing the "JuanaFlippa" song] Are you happy you made me relive that? Are you happy you made me relive that - my darkest moment?

Baghera: We have the fake one right now, it's ok.

Slimecicle: I don't fcking give a sht about this fcking Egg, dude. I don't give a sht! I told Tubbo and I'll say it live - If he -

Baghera: Oh yeah, we have a new daughter now, we have Sunny! :D

Slimecicle: I'm talking about Sunny. If Tubbo logs in and mistakes happen, and that fcking Egg is at half a heart, I might happen- I might- I might just have to slip, and click the "Join Server" button, and uh oh! My finger's still a little- [he waves his hand over the mouse] A little slippery, and I might circle back around and hit the click button again - That's all I'm saying because she is not JuanaFlippa. Or he is not JuanaFlippa, I don't even know. I don't even know that Egg. And I never will.

Baghera: People are saying "metagame" we have Twitter since four months-

Slimecicle: I'm- I'm REAL! This is- I'm not metagaming, I'M REAL! THIS IS ME, I'M A PERSON! I'M NOT JUST A CHARACTER IN YOUR MIND!

Baghera: [Cracking up]

Slimecicle: I dunno- that came from a deep place-

Baghera: I loved it!

Slimecicle: That came from a deep place inside me, I dunno where that was.

[recareels]

gmorning Clari!!! 💘 I’m not sure you’ve done it before, but I’d loooove to know what type of yanderes you’d classify your genshin faves as 😘

ANDYYYY i am so sorry i am responding a few days late to this and that’s because i accidentally wrote you a whole novel for an answer :) your ask sparked so many thoughts and i just BLAAAH spewed them all over the page (*ﾉωﾉ) ugh ahahaha ANYWAY oh gosh okay i have so much to say, let’s get into it!!! also apologies for how MASSIVE ajax’s is waaaah

characters: wriothesley, ajax [childe], kamisato ayato, thoma warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, yandere behaviour (gaslighting, obsessiveness, toxic relationships, delusional thinking, manipulation, over-protectiveness, etc) words: 2.1k

₊˚⊹ 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲

WRIOTHESLEY is the controlling, authoritarian type that feels like a really strict father, all under the guise of ‘protecting you’ and ‘keeping you safe’. he veers into delusional territory a little here because he genuinely believes what he’s telling you (and himself) and genuinely believes himself to be doing the right thing. he isn’t possessive, he just wants to make sure you’re going out with safe people. he isn’t obsessive, he just wants to know where you are at all times in case an emergency strikes and he has to come find you. he isn’t overbearing, he just cares and is proactive—don’t you want him to care? can’t you see he’s only this ‘protective’ because he loves you? 

he has thoroughly convinced himself that this behaviour has nothing to do with jealousy or a desire to keep you locked up, to keep you 100% certainly safe and his forever, and nothing to do with wanting to exert complete control over you, orchestrating your every decision—and he’s pretty good at continuously deluding himself into believing it. he’s so good, in fact, and his logic is so sound, that it has YOU wondering if you’re ‘just being crazy’, if you’re overthinking things or reading too much into them. wriothesley has had a lot taken away from him, after all, and he knows exactly how the mind of criminals tick—can you really blame him for being a bit paranoid? maybe you’re the one who’s overreacting and being unreasonable. maybe you’re even feeling a little guilty for being so ungrateful—shouldn’t you appreciate having someone who loves and cares for you this much to go to such extents? shouldn’t you want to relinquish all power to someone you love equally as much? shouldn’t you trust him to make only the best, most sound and appropriate decisions for you? you probably should. 

₊˚⊹ 𝐚𝐣𝐚𝐱

AJAX is kind of like, the typical yandere, and he encompasses several ‘types’, evolving throughout the course of your relationship and shapeshifting into different variants depending on the situation itself. and while the other three men seem normal until you’re in too deep with them, refraining from showing symptoms of yandere-ness until after you’ve been with them for an extended period of time and mean a lot to them, ajax is weird from the very beginning. 

almost immediately you can sense that there’s something slightly off about him, but you can’t put your finger on what it is. it’s so subtle that it doesn’t strike you as particularly dangerous, leading you to merely write it off as one of his quirks and nothing more. 

he’s overbearing right from the start, of course; not necessarily enough to be concerning just yet, but enough for it to be abnormal—unusual—and noticeable (which reminds me of your lil ajax piece!!!). from the instant he sees you, he is irreversibly obsessed with you. you permeate his every waking thought, and eventually begin to leak into his dreams, too, and suddenly he can barely breathe without knowing where you are and what you’re doing, his concentration consumed by you. 

he begins stalking you—‘overseeing’, he had called it—making detailed notes of your favourite locations and your most frequented friends. he’s constantly got an eye on you one way or another, even if he has to employ other people to do it for him, discreetly reporting their findings every few hours. he tells them you’re in danger—which, you are, technically—and that you must be observed at all times from afar, silently and stealthily. 

ajax is patient and he can play the waiting game, carefully devising and then revising his strategy based on your moves. he loves playing predator and prey, gets a thrill from how the hunt unfolds—much like a battle, it’s a story, a rich tapestry you and he are constantly and concurrently creating, together. and that he thinks is so beautiful.

in textbook yandere fashion, once he’s gathered a sufficient amount of intel, he begins ‘showing up’ randomly at your usual spots, ‘bumping into you’ fortuitously. charming and sweet, the only thing that’s initially unsettling is just how well the two of you get along. ajax is sure not to mimic you too much—he doesn’t want to be a mirror, after all, and being too similar is far from a good thing (especially when it matches so well it simply can’t be coincidental).

well—that, and the sharp glint in his eye that flares with something dangerous every time you giggle or gush, every time you fall further for him. and once he has you enchanted, ensnared, you’re trapped for life, tangled up in him so tightly that he might as well have fused to your flesh. 

ajax likes to tell you it isn’t about power and control, but he knows that it is. he’s smart, and he’s self aware, and he doesn’t really care if this is ‘wrong’—he sees it as necessary and he genuinely believes he knows better than you do. he has to take care of you, or else who will? you’re clearly not capable of satisfactorily doing it on your own, so he must (god, how would you manage without him?). even if you oppose him or fight back against him, he’s purely convinced you’re bull-headed and stubborn, snorting at your wanting to be independent when he truly knows you’re too stupid take care of yourself ‘properly’ all on your own.

violence is a mainstay of your relationship, but not towards you; never towards you—merely towards everyone around you. his jealousy knows no bounds, but you will rarely see it outright. instead, ajax prefers to hone his emotions, to fashion them into a weapon or use them as fuel to thoroughly tear apart anyone who looks your way in a manner he doesn’t like. it’s his job as your lover and keeper, isn’t it? 

₊˚⊹ 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨

AYATO knows what he is, and he doesn’t care. why should he, when he’s sure what he’s doing is ultimately correct and he’s used to having everything that he wants, and everything going his way, even if he has to force/manipulate it to? he’s so skilled at that in particular—manipulating situations and events to procure favourable outcomes for himself. in ayato’s mind, you should be grateful that he affords you so many freedoms—he could lock you away in the basement or a padded room, chain you to a bed with no entertainment or stimulation save for the books he has so conscientiously selected for you, and no other human contact aside from himself. but he trusts you, and he doesn’t want to go to those measures (though rest assured, he has promised you he will not hesitate to reach such heights if he deems it absolutely necessary, no matter how much he doesn’t want to; you staying his comes before his personal preferences and pleasures). as such, he allows you to roam the estate grounds under the watchful eye of his closest confidants and most capable guards (usually thoma, unless he is otherwise occupied and busy); he allows you access to letter writing materials (though they must go through two rounds of supervision and revisions before they are approved; once by thoma, and once by ayato himself); he allows you to go out in public as long as you are with him, etc. 

despite these apparent freedoms he affords you, he still picks your outfits out for you each day, and he devises a comprehensive meal plan for you each week, and creates schedules and rules he expects you to follow, thoroughly and meticulously to the letter. it is these subtle forms of ownership that he enjoys the most. he doesn’t feel the need to shout from the mountaintops, loudly and aggressively, that you are his, because the fact is so obvious, so evident, the second anyone merely glances at you. you walk like him, you talk like him, you sit, stand, and bow like him, just like he trained you to. 

ayato is also the type of yandere to punish you. he is molding your pretty little mind into exactly what he wants it to be, and that means that undesirable behaviours must be immediately and severely corrected through appropriate punishments—you must learn, or be taught what is right and what is wrong in ayato terms + definitions, so you will refrain from repeating such behaviour in the future. he is truly crafting you into the most perfect, precious, obedient little doll—and having a blast while doing so. it’s his little pet passion project, in a way; something he looks forward to working on when he has a moment of spare time. 

ayato was sly and clever with the way he initially enticed you, entrapped you, but underneath his cool, precisely chiseled exterior, ayato is selfish, manipulative, and extremely controlling. all decisions are ultimately made by and go through him. he will skillfully and carefully cut you off from all lifelines and communication, rendering you wholly dependent on him, and then will meticulously chip away at your mind until he sculpts it into exactly what he desires—someone who is as obsessed with him as he is with them. he slowly, stealthily, and steadily induces a severe, irreversible case of stockholm syndrome. the damage he does to your mind is permanent—and that’s exactly his goal. you now live for him. your days are marked by his appearances, his comings and goings, and the only thing you have to look forward to is seeing + spending time with him. you live to please him, live to be with him, and become absorbed by him, so you are merely an extension of him and no longer an individual yourself. everything revolves around ayato—he is your entire universe. 

₊˚⊹ 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚

THOMA is the most dangerous type of yandere, because thoma is genuine. thoma’s feelings are 100% authentic—and he earnestly intends to bring you no harm whatsoever—they’re just way too intense. he loves you so much that it veers into insanity, and the passion he feels towards you (and towards keeping you safe + claiming you as his) is so fierce that it physically hurts him to experience, chest blistering with scorching adoration and razored affection, something so dense and so all-consuming that thoma wants to claw through his own flesh and pry his ribcage apart spoke by spoke just so he can experience a shred of relief. 

thoma is, for the most part, an honest guy—starkly, brashly honest, so honest it shatters his words and gnaws at his voice, leaving it rough and raw, splintered to shards; but you can always trust he says exactly what he means. he severely lacks self awareness, not even realizing that his behaviour is inappropriate and extreme (he just cares about you SO much! it blinds his rationale and erodes his logic, incapacitating his ability to understand that he’s so suffocating it borders on terrifying). 

but what makes thoma so incredibly perilous is his sincerity. he truly just wants to keep you safe, eyes brimming with tears and voice hitching on barely contained emotion as he thoroughly explains to you his logic for stashing tracking devices in your bags or his reasoning for shattering the kneecaps of the man who made you uncomfortable at work, sentiment thick in his throat, words straining with the weight of his honesty, with the desperation for you to understand, to see it his way. he swears to the high heavens that he’d never hurt a single hair on your pretty, precious little head, and promises that he doesn’t want to scare you, but firmly asserts that he will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. 

and he means it. thoma is, in the most essential sense, your guard dog. he’s so sweet towards you, even submissive at times, always subservient to your every wish and whim, your every demand and desire, but he’ll fucking rip anyone within a meter of you to pieces with his teeth and bare hands alone if he feels as though you are being threatened in any way—and his standards and definition of ‘threatened’ are extreme and absurd, of course, causing him to react in a way that is severely disproportionate to the situation.

it borders on too much all the time—he is too obsessive, too protective, too clingy, but he’s also so sweet, so gentle, so incredibly bonafide that you can’t help but not be upset with him. he only does what he does because you’re his entire world, right? what’s so harmful about that? 

[clownsuu]

"KIRYU-CHAAAAN" Yakuza Wally shouts as he pops out of a giant traffic cone.

Is it a comically large cone? Or is it just a regular cone cause of how short Wally is smhhhh

Few more yakuza au doodles- dumb joke au is fun to think about, but a pain to draw smhhh

also them twos- Dusty looks exactly the same as regular mob except with a party hat on

[akkivee]

i don’t think there’s been any hypmic merch that has made me laugh so hard from secondhand embarrassment bro i am actually crying

[chasedeys]

Oh thank you for that thorough response!! Are there any other Joemarr lore moments I should know about as a new fan? Any sources you recommend I look through?

oh sure no problem!!! 🥰🫶 not that thorough really akdjfjfk BUT yeah pretty crazy articles to drop lmao

um not to like self-promote (???? is it) lmao but may i direct you to my first ever insane ass long answer to an innocent joemarr ask of my fav joemarr moment that definitely need to be updated with the 2024 season 😮‍💨 you can definitely scroll through my joemarr meta tag too which is like where i store all my bullshit joemarr long answers! you can skip reading the long-winded analysis if you’d rather like form your own thoughts on them but there are dozens of linked moments there you can scroll through so i’d recommend that for sure 😊 oh and maybe my fav tag too! not necessarily joemarr but i usually keep my fav posts there that really catch my interest!

and heavilyyyyyy recommend scrolling through @cementcornfield's joemarr (joe’marr) tag toooo she says her organization's a mess but ive literally learned all there is about joemarr the first few weeks through her blog so 😔🫶 a staple tbh lol and you can branch out all the other blogs that post bengals content too!! soooo many now really it’s kind of wild i can’t keep up at times 😭 here is her post on it if you'd like to see more recommended blogs!

oh and some essential lore mention!! lets see several big ass mentions um

the clothes saga and the entire post-sb loss coaxing out of bed for like a vegas date maybe

kc game shove

lakers date

their pinky shake

lsu natty game ball and ja’marrs bratty ass bragging of it

joe wearing ja'marr's game-worn jersey (top 3 moments btw)

the refusal to play without each other

the ufc fights

that’s my qb not theirs (yeah...)

them being neighborssssss this is truly insane read through carmen's tags no really it’ll drive you insane. what the fuck. no really the fuck.

the whole article is kind of crazy but like the boat thing in particular. 'we did a lot but not on a boat'. okay ja'marr. it also birthed my favorite delusional babble of like. ja’marr choosing to stay in ohio for joe in the future but not being sure of verbalizing it.

DONUT INCIDENTTT with a little handsy moment beforehand (so many angles of the donut incident i cannot possibly link them all sorry)

oh this helmet slam celly vs this helmet slam celly when you take in account how these were their first long touchdowns since joe's wrist injury and like compare it to their first nfl touchdown celly Thoughts truly Thoughtssssssssss 😮‍💨 (the first td celly loooook at joe grippinggg at his waistttt holy shittttttt)

joe on ja'marr's rookie preseason drops (the first link is another angle and longer clip of the first td celly btw where you can see joe finally pushing ja'marr away god the fuck is wrong with them i adore that clip truly top 10 moments and alsoooo the presser with the pinky shake of all times as a fuck you to all those reporters and haters top 5 pinky shakes moment btw)

the lsu staring saga

the lsu warm skin recount

joe's first griddy where their account was nearly the same word for word and ja’marr was severely biased and joe was all ‘i just saw you and i got to’ okay.....

also id link like the whole qb1 pat who thing but i cant be assed to search chiefs anything anywhere else rn sorry 😭 but ja'marr's thing with the chiefs is honestly ripe with joemarr and like joe as his qb1 etc etc

etc etccccccc im sure im missing a lot lmao but like. truly if you do a deep dive of their lore it's crazy they've got 6-7 years of this shit (real quote btw: ja'marr has said so. i've been with him what. 6-7 years? i've lost count.) so like. if you have the time and vigorous enough obsession you can definitely catch up with their entire thing 😔🤚 i wish you the best lol.

anyways hope you enjoy scrolling watching reading through all these moments!! (if anyone else wants to rb and add moments go right aheaddd btwwww please do!!)

[moki-dokie]

i officially found the chinese conspiracy theorists of xhs/rednote and LMAO somehow it brings me comfort that even on the other side of the world almost entirely separated from us, they too have some fucking batshit insane people making up the most bizarro shit just to pin blame somewhere else. truly we are all human under the great tinfoil hat

[the-king-of-lemons]

[mudsychronicles]

Kind of dumb comic based on a text interaction that i thought was very og gb and and wembley gb core and also uuhhhhh here (throws some doodles at you) (It's mainly just the Cheater Trio being mean to each other LMAOOO)

[enden-k]

not keeping up w hsr leads to me thinking sunday banner is today (wednesday) but turns out its thursday and this little chicken wing bitch is in next version

[frongle444]

paulkins

absolutely not procrastinating why would you think that

[faunandfloraas]

Lockscreens 🐰🩷🗝