#lmao i am so lame
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Traditional doodle page, anyone?
Featuring Uru because I love her. @iamherefortrains 's baby
#sky cotl#sky ocs#my art#iez#sketch#uru#daleth#lamed#samekh#vault elder#isle elder#valley elders#rhythm guide#hopeful steward#honorary mention of tsadi because he's just so tiny LMAO#i am falling from digital mood into traditional#uru is the one in top left corner and the menace and the crying one
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ask blog is not dead btw
#i am just incredibly stupid and piled up way to much stuff on my plate lmao 😎#taking part in 2 kinda big hs project >:3c#and then have another non hs art project(lame i know 🙄🙄)#And got a new job (not long term tho so should have more time soon hopefully lol)#got an ask asking if it was dead#idk if the person who sent it will see this cus it was sent to the actual blog#But#in case anyone else was wondering#rambles
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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it’s so crazy how one day you start saying “I love you” to someone in your life for the first time and then you just keep on doing so for years to come
#deity dialogue#I’m not friends with them anymore just due to having drifted away but I rmemeber the first time I said I love you to my best friend in middl#school. it was at the end of the day and we split up to go to our separate home rooms and I accidentally blurted out ‘I love you bye!’ or#soemthing and gasped and was about to say ‘sorry my bad’ or something but she replied saying she loved me too and that made me so happy#I always feel lame and like braggy(?) saying that I am a very affectionate person but I am!#I am so full of love for people but also scared of being affectionate but also I can’t not be affectionate#and so my fear is not being loved back like to say I love you to someone and not have them say it back (which does happen and it’s okay#because I am not owed love even from friends)#so idk hearing someone say they love me back just makes me so happy#I can’t really remember the first time I said I love you to other people like obvs it happened but now I’m so used to telling people I love#them every day multiple times a day and it#idk* I’m just full of love for my friends and I’m glad that they love me back#sorry I’m half asleep lmao
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💖
#you all thought my vent post meant i *wasnt* going to be sappy but you were wrong >:3#i do have the self control not to semd random dms like im drunk texting or something LMAO#but i just.#you mean so much to me.#i may be slow (or nonexistent) with replies but still youre patient and share with me what you love#and i always want to see it#im always excited about it#i may be awkward in conversations but still you reach out and give me a piece of you and i cherish that#i love stumbling over my words and sending lame reaction images with you#i love laughing with you and singing with you and i think you have a beautiful laugh and a beautiful singing voice#i love reading your writing whether its fluffy and silly or indulgently angsty or bearing a piece of your soul#i am grateful for your kindness and hope you know it is appreciated#and even if we never talk im grateful youre here#im happy we exist in this space together in the spirit of art and community and kindness#or if we used to talk more or if we will talk in the future#my memory isnt good in some aspects but i Do remember people and their passions and their creations and their kindness#and so im grateful#💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#OKAY GOODNIGHT#rose rambles#oh i had a sappy line about art too that i accidentally lost but i love looking at your art!!#original things or fandom things or personal things -- it makea the world more beautiful
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i say it all the time but being aromantic fucking rocks actually. loneliness is one thing but being aro + romance averse had me confront the amatonormative expectation of romantic partnering and you know what i'm NOT worried about now? having a partner. sharing a bed with someone. kissing someone. being held by someone. cause all those physical + emotional needs can be fulfilled by all the people i hold dear in my life and it is no loss of mine to not have a partner. and it's so radical and empowering to say that i don't care and i don't fucking want one! i like being by myself! I HOPE I DIE ALONE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#WILL SAY IT FOREVER AND EVER! FUCK PARTNERING! I HOPE I DIE ALONE!!!#literally the power of it. my fucking life. it's for me. and i hope i die alone#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aro positivity#loneliness as an expression of total detachment from other people is a separate issue from the romantic loneliness that i see.#which is so fucking lame tbh. no shame to people feeling sad that they don't have a partner specifically#not their fault that they haven't broken out of that amatonormativity yet and obvi ppl are allowed to want what they want#but like. lmao. could NOT be me at this point in my life <3#i am enjoying who i am and the prospect of a future as myself so much...#and being totally free from that manufactured structured loneliness in the absence of a romantic partner is fucking awesome.#it's me and myself babe but i am NOT framing myself as my own partner.#i am one person and ultimately my life is about me. and i love and fucking treasure myself. and i'm so excited to die alone#talking
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'U just need to discover ur feminity! If u dont get acrylic nails brows and lashes done every month and dont do 1 hour contouring routine everyday ur a poor self hating soul who wasnt shown proper feminity!!' is personally funny to me bc I had this 'wannabe makeup artist' phase like 4 years ago but got bored of it bc shits too money/time/energy consuming to be worth it? No thanks id rather smoke a blunt and go for a walk on my day off you know. Binge buying at sephora? Id rather spend it on cds or books or random flea market shit 🥰
#this 'reclaiming bimbo' shit became so lame and embarassing past 2019#2000s bimbos like lindsay lohan n paris hilton werent writing essays on divine feminity they were too busy doing coke n partying lmao#i love how they assume its some default setting in women to be 'feminine' n if u dont like it u just need to 'discover' it#its so classist too? like the products u need to achieve all that crap with arent cheap at all?#and i do think i am a 'feminine' woman but they still think ur not Feminine Enough to be a Real Woman if u dont have ur nails done 24/7
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i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it
#snap chats#being without my computer charger has been maddening#that makes me sound terminally online and its because i am. its also cause all i ever wanna do is draw :((#AND I ESP WANNA WORK ON MY COMMS NOOOOO FUCK#i mean i was at least able to read through yakuza’s bias vol 2… so theres that…#MY SCHOOL STORE DIDNT HAVE LAPTOP CHARGERS i had to order one… hopefully it gets here Overnight like i asked….. if not ill kill#anyway. daigo plushie so cute :((((((((((((((((#mine cute too but theres just something especially squeezeable about daigo#alas.. thats what the aoki plush’ll be for. my personal stress toy ☠️☠️☠️☠️#lowkey i wish i also got ichi but then i remenbee they made him pale as all hell and Yeah Im Not Putting Money To That#THE SMALLEST BIT OF A TAN I BEG YOU RGG WHY IS HE SO PALE IT DONT LOOK RIIIIGHT :((((#anyway.. i have my last class in half an hour… lemme drink this tea…#also Lowkey obsessed with my outfit today.. its that butterfly shirt + gold accessories since theyre monarch butterflies#tho Lowkey 2x the black and yellow remind me of the watase blokes from gaiden…… wack…..#ok bye its tea time#help one of my roommates just came home and she just announces like. ‘man those edibles were. OUGH’#calling my dad to pick me up nooo im a lame straight edge dont talk about drugs around me ill scream and cry LMAO#ok im done byebye lemme drink this good god
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It’s not the best in the world (ah the curse of living further down the flight path 💀), but Starscream came to visit!
@aviatrix-ash
#transformers#maccadams#plane#f22#f22raptor#and I screamed like the avgeek I am#because every time#every fucking godawful time#we have a fighter that’s not a talon come knocking I either miss it because of how they change the runways or it’s mcfucking cloudy#we’re kinda lame for noncommercial plane spotting#this kinda shit just LIGHTS UP our local plane nerd Facebook groups#I’m gonna be fixating so hard when we drive by the airport tonight#if we get a flyover then…..I’m gonna go full autism on my poor grans#thankfully Bobo is ex Air Force so we kinda fanperson together over fighters lmao
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One Piece has so much gall giving so much screen time to characters I truly do not give a fuck about
#my thots#one piece#sorry wano#ur amazing except for all the parts that suck#sorry carrot I just don’t wanna see ur lame fight I never cared abt Pedro anyway lmao 😭#I do fuck w Marco tho he can stay#law and kid u are in. drake and apoo sashay away#odens entire backstory was a FUCKING CHORE#I would love oden a lot more if I wasn’t forced to watch all that lmfao#do u think oda knows that story events can be communicated without literally showing it fully and completely#through like clever dialogue and environmental storytelling and LIMITED backstory#anyway wano is still s tier#this is how u kno op fans r fucking cooked 😭#I’ll be like yeah 30 hours of this arc were unwatchable. amazing tho#Sanji getting kidnapped by sexy ladies (again) was whatever. I am so so sick of his I’ll never hit a woman thing I’m sorry#bro some women r evil and literally fighting u…. u have 2 fight them back babes…..#however him calling for help? S TIER#FINALLY#LOVED#made it worth it to me#Robin said I love having friends 😘#they save me I save them#now for oda to have Zoro need savings#put that man into some situations#make him more pathetic. do it u won’t#idk when this turned into my ranking rant#anyway#wano#wano spoilers
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🍷
#im in such a bad and low mood :<#it's not just my period hormones 🥴#my wireless headphones worked fine all of yesterday and today when i wake up they're blinking#they're liked fucked up... i turn them off but they constantly turn themselves back on. when i connect them to my ipad they constantly#keep disconnecting and shutting off and turning on 🙃 it makes me so angry bc i need to wear them basically all the time#bc all the noise from neighbors and my family and outside is driving me crazy#but they just dont work anymore?? plus i cant afford new ones... esp now which brings me to my next point#bc of my mom having troubles w school and loans and work etc she was like yeah u guys might have to pay for me this summer so we'll be#proper poor 😄 she doesnt WANT that either but it just sucks bc i got $300 every month and i can barely afford anything as is#yeah so there is no chance of me buying new headphones until at least august or september ......#then im annoyed bc my sisters are passive aggressive 24/7 and hate my existence and my mom is depressed lol#and i have no one to talk to or be with. it's summer and i wanna do stuff but i just dont wanna do it alone lmao#and then im just sad bc of many things.....#also i hate myself bc im a loser failure piece of shit but like yeah that's normal for me to feel#i just hate everything and it's so hard to endure this lame ass existence skskskskks#why cant ANYTHING be good ever in my life??#i am garbage and im surrounded by bad things lmao... anyways can i just stop breathing now pls#and it's not just a 'tiny' thing like my headphones not working like it might seem to others#but when u live a life where NOTHING is good or NOTHING works everything just piles on#ppl dont seem to understand that normally bc most ppl have some good things in their lives#so they just cannot comprehend what it's like when nothing works on any level in your life lok#ofc im depressed ofc im angry and bitter and dejected. i have no good things or moments at all in my life. that tears u down#i mean ofc i could be living in an active warzone and that'd be .. pretty awful i can imagine. but yeah... my situation is still not ideal#like i mean i do actually try to practice gratitude of having a roof over my head my own room water in the pipes and food so i dont starve#i am thankful for that bc many ppl dont even have that#i still feel depressed tho <3#idk what im talking abt now i just feel SO bad and i have no one to talk to#i have nothing to do... no help no treatment... everyone hates me and wants me dead......#why should i fight when no one cares abt me anyway... well.. i mean i do wanna experience more nature but like idk#im just so exhausted... why cant i ever have smth good in my life that also dont go away after a short while lol
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I never actually played a game of amongus because I was too afraid
#deity dialogue#I was so so worried that I’d be exceptionally bad at it lmao#I had the app on my phone and everything and people would ask me to play and I’d go ✨no✨ or make up excuses as to why I couldn’t play#it’s so lame like why was I afraid to play amongus??#I said this knowing I still won’t play amongus#it just fills me with anxiety I’m gonna be killed I’m gonna be accused of crimes or I am the imposter and they’ll all knowwww#I am not sneaky I’m not stealthy#despite my love of lies and deception I am really bad at it YwY
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sighhh today is also not a proper day by any means.............
#very lame#i still feel so tired even thoughhh i did actually sleep pretty well yesterday#idkidk#but the goods news is that i am very slowly working on a lil drabble#which is kind of char x char instead of x reader BUTTTTTTTT it's just knight x princess lmao#i just couldn't decide which of them should've been the reader#bc well. i wanted to be both alright#so i just ended up doing it this way#so we'll see how it'll turn out#it is smut though so keep that in mind#knights just look very very good down on their knees yk?#i love that shit#mayor of loserville
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Me: When will I ever find someone? I'm starting to feel lonely.
Someone: Hi, I like you.
Me:
#ali talks#lmao#for real though#why am I like this?#im so stupid maybe#relationships#lame talks about love
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The Worst period drama trope is when the revolutionary/radical socialist character “learns from their ways” and just…becomes a status quo lib. Or even worse: an actual member of the aristocracy
#makes me shudder#thinking specifically of:#tom branson#ada shelby#it’s so lame#when will writers learn that having a couple radical characters adds intrigue to their period dramas god dammit#like having tom still be a socialist in an aristocratic family? his hatred of the system in direct contrast to his love of the crawleys#would’ve added such a good moral dilemma#and same goes for ada who is a communist and at odds with her family because of this#it added so much good drama in the early seasons. like she literally named her son after karl marx lmao#and then they libified her. my girl I am so sorry#period dramas#downton abbey
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friend finally made an appointment with the vet (NOT the one who lives on the property and sees these horses every day) and she's coming soon to do teeth and take some rads and do a lameness exam on the super lame mare......fingers crossed something productive happens from this 🫠
#yeah it's a really cool and functional dynamic around here that seems really set up to last#idk what exactly she's planning to image if it were me i would be interested in seeing the entire spine + feet but obviously that's not#necessarily possible. but i really hope they do her feet and ideally get some remedial shoeing going because the situation is. somewhat dir#i've been informed that i am riding this lame horse in the next several days and i um don't enjoy riding lame horses so i'm kind of hoping#something major enough for someone besides me to take it seriously turns up because frankly this horse doesn't deserve this situation#however i am the nicest available person to be riding her so if it has to happen it is best that it's me but it's still not ethical lmao#back to losing my mind and day drinking ugh#i am a little bit on the verge of tears over this btw. lol#me
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