#lmao i am so lame

[plutonium-sky]

Traditional doodle page, anyone?

Featuring Uru because I love her. @iamherefortrains 's baby

[insufferablemod]

ask blog is not dead btw

[good-beans]

💖

[knifearo]

i say it all the time but being aromantic fucking rocks actually. loneliness is one thing but being aro + romance averse had me confront the amatonormative expectation of romantic partnering and you know what i'm NOT worried about now? having a partner. sharing a bed with someone. kissing someone. being held by someone. cause all those physical + emotional needs can be fulfilled by all the people i hold dear in my life and it is no loss of mine to not have a partner. and it's so radical and empowering to say that i don't care and i don't fucking want one! i like being by myself! I HOPE I DIE ALONE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[pissmoon]

'U just need to discover ur feminity! If u dont get acrylic nails brows and lashes done every month and dont do 1 hour contouring routine everyday ur a poor self hating soul who wasnt shown proper feminity!!' is personally funny to me bc I had this 'wannabe makeup artist' phase like 4 years ago but got bored of it bc shits too money/time/energy consuming to be worth it? No thanks id rather smoke a blunt and go for a walk on my day off you know. Binge buying at sephora? Id rather spend it on cds or books or random flea market shit 🥰

[todayisafridaynight]

i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it

[novadreii]

i can hardly put into words how grateful i am to have regained the use of my brain in the past 6 months or so. before that, i struggled with terrible brain fog that persisted for years, making me feel i had a fishbowl popped on top of my head 24/7. i spent what limited brainpower i had trying to root out a cause from my diet. but it turns out that the culprit was a lethal combination of unhealed childhood trauma, as well as the stress and chronic insomnia from being in a relationship with a neglectful and inconsistent partner.

did you know that stress and trauma physically shrink your hippocampus (responsible for learning, memory) and increase the size of your amygdala (responsible for survival and fear responses)? my hippocampus must have been the size of a fucking pea, and my amygdala a baseball. i was basically a feral cat.

since quite literally fleeing that situation, i've been militant about therapy and taking care of myself: exercise, eating right, 8 hours of sleep per night without exception, and keeping my stress low. contrary to all the advice i've ever received before my current therapist, aside from occasional socializing with my extremely small circle of family and friends (whom i love dearly and who've all really rallied to support me through the shitstorm my life was earlier this year), i've fully indulged my love of solitude and being a homebody.

that, instead of shaming myself and pushing myself to be social when i don't feel like it, which is often. my mother used to do that plenty when i was a kid, because as a giant extrovert herself, it pained and disappointed her greatly to have a daughter who preferred to read in her room all day. i've finally learned how to decouple my inner voice from hers and it has brought me the freedom to just...be who i am.

throughout all this i started noticing that i'd wake up with a clear brain, once in a while. it'd come and go at first, but now, as long as i keep to the regimen of caring for myself like i am my first priority, a concept apparently completely foreign to me up until recently, the clarity is here most days. i'll have an occasionally foggy day, but it's usually easy to trace the cause to shit sleep or food.

the ability to not feel like i'm existing behind 2 inches of foggy glass day in and day out is everything to me. to understand people as they're talking to me. to not have to read a sentence 10 times over to glean its meaning. to enjoy learning again. this used to bring me so much pain and sadness, feeling like i'd lost the use of what i consider to be my greatest asset, feeling like i'm stupid when i know i'm not. i have a bachelor's degree in business with straight As to prove it!

having to go through it and knowing that certain people in my life were not taking me seriously and thinking that i was just being lazy and unambitious. it made me want to fucking scream. but i never lost hope that just like most problems, there was a solution. i was just not seeing it. i needed a different perspective.

i'm currently taking an online chemistry class just for fun. next up is going to be "astronomy: exploring time and space", then probably a cyber security intro class and some data science classes to refresh what i learned in university. i'm having fun learning again!!!! i am quite literally crying writing this, because while i always remained hopeful, there was a small part of me that was scared that this would just be my life from now on. i'm so fucking grateful.

[cybercybertron]

It’s not the best in the world (ah the curse of living further down the flight path 💀), but Starscream came to visit!

@aviatrix-ash

[gralixe]

One Piece has so much gall giving so much screen time to characters I truly do not give a fuck about

[teddybeartoji]

sighhh today is also not a proper day by any means.............

[wishfuldivine]

Me: When will I ever find someone? I'm starting to feel lonely.

Someone: Hi, I like you.

Me:

[redshoes-blues]

The Worst period drama trope is when the revolutionary/radical socialist character “learns from their ways” and just…becomes a status quo lib. Or even worse: an actual member of the aristocracy

[ogtz]

sorry if it seems silly but thank you for the boops if you sent me any it made me happy, especially with how much of a recluse i am even online

[woundedheartwithin]

Ugh, honestly? This prelude thing reads like bad fanfiction 😭

[outtaluckawoo]

in my fic i've officially decided to make wyatt the campground host and i just. can't stop thinking abt it. he'd be so eager and enthusiastic!! it's the perfect job for him. he'd wear his park ranger uniform shirt everywhere, unbuttoned or layered over hoodies and under sweaters. his favorite part of the job would be getting kids involved with nature, seeing the wonder in their eyes as they explore the forest and observe the wildlife. at the same time, though, he'd work to protect his pack's territory, keep campers away from the borders. ensure everything sacred is kept safe.

[irresistiibles]

@tragcdysewn / lute & zhongli

"did you skip the valentine's day ball? i didn't see you there." zhongil asked conversationally. it didn't really surprise him. the whole thing didn't seem like lute's sort of event, though maybe she had stopped in briefly before deciding it wasn't worth her time and leaving the scene. "hopefully you did something fun for the holiday anyway."