#like why??? for wanting to stay home? for not wanting to go to lame christmas parties with lame people?

[novadreii]

i can hardly put into words how grateful i am to have regained the use of my brain in the past 6 months or so. before that, i struggled with terrible brain fog that persisted for years, making me feel i had a fishbowl popped on top of my head 24/7. i spent what limited brainpower i had trying to root out a cause from my diet. but it turns out that the culprit was a lethal combination of unhealed childhood trauma, as well as the stress and chronic insomnia from being in a relationship with a neglectful and inconsistent partner.

did you know that stress and trauma physically shrink your hippocampus (responsible for learning, memory) and increase the size of your amygdala (responsible for survival and fear responses)? my hippocampus must have been the size of a fucking pea, and my amygdala a baseball. i was basically a feral cat.

since quite literally fleeing that situation, i've been militant about therapy and taking care of myself: exercise, eating right, 8 hours of sleep per night without exception, and keeping my stress low. contrary to all the advice i've ever received before my current therapist, aside from occasional socializing with my extremely small circle of family and friends (whom i love dearly and who've all really rallied to support me through the shitstorm my life was earlier this year), i've fully indulged my love of solitude and being a homebody.

that, instead of shaming myself and pushing myself to be social when i don't feel like it, which is often. my mother used to do that plenty when i was a kid, because as a giant extrovert herself, it pained and disappointed her greatly to have a daughter who preferred to read in her room all day. i've finally learned how to decouple my inner voice from hers and it has brought me the freedom to just...be who i am.

throughout all this i started noticing that i'd wake up with a clear brain, once in a while. it'd come and go at first, but now, as long as i keep to the regimen of caring for myself like i am my first priority, a concept apparently completely foreign to me up until recently, the clarity is here most days. i'll have an occasionally foggy day, but it's usually easy to trace the cause to shit sleep or food.

the ability to not feel like i'm existing behind 2 inches of foggy glass day in and day out is everything to me. to understand people as they're talking to me. to not have to read a sentence 10 times over to glean its meaning. to enjoy learning again. this used to bring me so much pain and sadness, feeling like i'd lost the use of what i consider to be my greatest asset, feeling like i'm stupid when i know i'm not. i have a bachelor's degree in business with straight As to prove it!

having to go through it and knowing that certain people in my life were not taking me seriously and thinking that i was just being lazy and unambitious. it made me want to fucking scream. but i never lost hope that just like most problems, there was a solution. i was just not seeing it. i needed a different perspective.

i'm currently taking an online chemistry class just for fun. next up is going to be "astronomy: exploring time and space", then probably a cyber security intro class and some data science classes to refresh what i learned in university. i'm having fun learning again!!!! i am quite literally crying writing this, because while i always remained hopeful, there was a small part of me that was scared that this would just be my life from now on. i'm so fucking grateful.

[rocknrollsalad]

rating: T cw: abandoned pets tags: modern au, platonic stobin, first meeting, animal shelters, another universe another menial job, bad holiday innuendo, implied hook ups word count: 995 written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt "mistletoe"

there's now a part two

One of the fun bits about running the social media for the animal shelter was naming the animals that came in. Crafting something just unhinged enough to be spread around which lured people in was Robin’s jam. Yeah, her creative skills could be better used but they weren’t going to waste. And this way cute animals got loving homes.

As fun as it was to name a litter of kittens things like “Left Sock” and “Stolen Pants”, Robin also had to play to the season. Though her and her supervisor went rounds about this. Robin didn’t want to entice parents to adopt a kitten for their kid only for them to get the thing back in four months. She didn’t make the big bucks though so she had to do what she was told.

When the large litter of kittens rescued from a cold and abandoned barn came in? Robin knew what she’d be forced to do. The props would be cute but the names would be lame and overused.

It wasn’t a shock to anyone that she dragged Steve into the process. He was her best friend, they applied for the job together and wanted matching schedules, but he also actually had Christmas cheer.

Best friend, decorations, and kittens all wrangled into the same space, they set to the difficult task of naming each of these adorable little furballs. There were eight of them and that number was the only thing stopping Robin from bringing home the whole litter.

Latkes, Kugel, Lump of Coal, Winter Solstice, Krampus, The Ghost of Christmas Past, Cheeses, Meeces, and Mistletoe were all photographed and the colors of their colors logged before Robin and Steve went to the office to edit pictures.

Steve had Latkes in the pocket of his hoodie, sleeping away in the comfort and warmth, and Mistletoe wandered from shoulder to shoulder. The rest were happy back in their homey pen, heating blanket and food freshly stocked. Robin wanted to be annoyed but Steve always had at least one animal in tow, he couldn’t help that they were drawn to him. Or that he couldn’t say no to them.

“We oughta take a picture of you like that, imagine the dates you could get asking people to meet you under this mistletoe,” Robin said, turning back to the screen.

“Wouldn’t that be better if she was the one in my pocket?” Steve asked.

“Oh my god, why would you say that?” Robing aggressively clicked the ancient mouse to try and make the computer load faster so she didn’t have to think any more about the implications of that.

“You set me up for it!” Steve said, that same indignation he always had that made Robin want to punch him.

“Whatever. Not even you could get a date with something like that.”

Robin didn’t turn around, she could feel Steve accepting the challenge she absolutely had not issued. No way he got it to work.

—

The day had been slow, boring but expected. Robin was the only one on duty right now. The two others went off to take their lunch knowing Robin was fine with Steve there. He’d come in to hang out, a pretty typical thing when they weren’t scheduled to both work.

Steve was sitting on the counter, Robin in the chair with her feet up and next to his leg. They were on their fourth Buzzfeed quiz when the door opened. Steve and Robin both had to fight glaring at whoever interrupted the scientific “what type of fruit are you” quest.

“Hey, do you guys still got Krampus?” the guy asked, skipping all greetings.

His lack of manners had Robin staying in her seat. She wasn’t going to overdo it if he couldn’t manage the bare minimum. Steve, however, was on his feet all Christmas cheer and eager to help. Robin knew what that meant.

Added confirmation came as Steve leaned over and whispered “I think he needs to take home Mistletoe.”

Sticking her finger toward her mouth, Robin gave a half-hearted gag. If anything, she was annoyed with how easily this all came to Steve. This guy was so his type there was no way he wasn’t going to try something and Robin supported that but did he have to be so good at it?

“We do,” Steve said. It shouldn’t have been a seductive statement and yet…

Of course, it worked. The guy was the first person Robin had ever seen do a spit take without having anything to drink.

After an awkward stare-down, Robin cleared her throat as the only professional for miles around, “Would you like to see him?”

“Yeah, yeah, man. I think I would,” the guy said.

Rolling her eyes, Robin lifted a foot to kick at Steve's hip. “Show him the cat, you idiot,” she groaned.

Since he was almost out of reach, the kick did nothing to Steve as he flashed that award-winning smile that drove everyone wild and he had the customer follow him.

Just once, Robin would love to channel whatever magnetism Steve had. There’d been so many girls that had come through the door, single girls who talked about their ex-girlfriends, and Robin couldn’t so much as give them her number. Steve was going to walk out of here with a wedding ring.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Steve and the guy walked back to Robin looking like they’d solved world hunger. Thankfully Steve was smart enough not to hook up with people at the shelter but Robin knew that look, both on the customer and Steve, a hook up would happen.

In case that wasn’t enough, the guy was carrying Mistletoe and not Krampus like he'd asked for.

Steve stood on the customer side of the counter and said “Hand me the adoption form, wouldya? We’ll get Eddie this adorable little friend and then I’m going to help him set his apartment up to be a cat dad.”

“You’re insufferable.”

[jezabelle9299]

Mistletoe S.R x fem!Reader

Just a quick little thing I wrote-- kissing! Reader is really lame because I am! Spencer loves Doctor who and reader carries a purse!

Inspired By this comic!!

You and Spencer had been dating for weeks, and you’d still never seen his apartment. He picked you up for all of your dates, walked you home, and when you got to your apartment was when he’d stay over. There was no intentional reason— you just— hadn’t. But you were going over there today, he wanted to watch all of the doctor who Christmas specials and he had them all on dvd. An exceptionally cheesy idea I popped in your head— you could say his apartment was missing just one thing. Mistletoe. You made it all the way to the store to buy some, but on the walk to Spencer’s apartment, you talked yourself out of it. 

It’s not like you hadn’t kissed him before, but you had definitely done nothing this outwardly cheesy. So with the mistletoe in your bag, you enjoyed the first three doctor who specials with your wonderful boyfriend letting you rest against his side. The third had just concluded, and he paused the TV before the next one started.

“Ok, takeout now or one more and then we order it?” 

“Let’s order it, then we can watch while we wait.” 

“You have the best ideas.” 

“I know.” He gave you one playful pinch at your cockiness– he loved it. 

“Now, my brilliant, beautiful, girl— what should we order?”  He gave you an extra squeeze as he got up to go find his phone so he could order it.

“Chinese sounds good, or maybe pizza?”

“They both sound good, we could flip a coin if you have one”

“I think there’s one in my purse if you want to look.” You pointed to where it sat, right by his TV, close to the entryway. 

He grabbed it from the table across the room, but when he opened it up he didn’t see your wallet, he saw a small piece of greenery tucked inside. 

“Hey honey? What’s this?” As soon as he asked you remembered what was in there and jumped up trying to explain it away while grabbing it.

“Nothing— I’m sure it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Chinese sounds good, let’s just do that.” 

“Not so fast— who’s this for?” He held it just out of your reach.

“…You, maybe, but it’s stupid and we can just forget about it.” He could see your embarrassment as you shrank down into yourself.

“I don’t think it’s stupid! I mean I’ve never had someone go out and buy mistletoe for me before— why would you want to forget about it? I mean, whatever purpose could you have bought this for?”  He wasn’t going to leave it alone until you told him, he’d figure it out one way or another.

“I bought it for a really, really lame idea I had. I was going to say that I loved your apartment but that it was missing one thing and then pull out the mistletoe and– yeah. That’s pretty much it.” He didn’t laugh, just pretended he was genuinely considering the idea.

“Well I think as usual you’re right, the apartment is missing this. I don’t think it’s lame at all– which to be fair is not saying much, but still.” He grabbed a thumbtack from his desk and pinned the mistletoe to his ceiling, right above where you were standing.

“Oh no, I think my beautiful girlfriend is trapped under the mistletoe.” He feigned tragedy as he made his way over to you, before kissing you, his hand on either side of your face. 

“Do you still think it’s lame?”

“Not necessarily–”

[thereaperisabitch]

My Joel Miller fics recs from 2023

I’ve planned to do this since before Christmas, but life caught me up, so that's why I'm here rushing to finishing this before the reveillon party. 2023 was a very tough year for me, in different ways, and this stories were my refuge and my balm during good times and bad times, so this was the way I found to honor all these incredible authors who made my life better this year.

To the authors: you guys are the most amazing and sweet people ever, I know that I'm not active as other readers and I don't reblog your works enough - and I'm sorry for that, I wish I could shower you with the praises you guys deserve.

Hope this will make up for all the comments and reblogs that I haven't give.

And to the readers who find this recs: most of these stories are series and most of them has age gap and are Joel Miller x fem/afab!reader. I won't put warnings from each fic because it would be a too long post, so click the link and read the author's warnings in each before you start to read - I'm afraid to get into fandoms because of people who give shit to authors, so please, don't be this kind of person.

Someday I'll make a part 2 of other stories that caught me up this year.

That all being said, thank you @morning-star-joy @hier--soir @frannyzooey @joelsgreys @fuckyeahdindjarin @the-ginger-hedge-witch @eupheme @bageldaddy @covetyou @theidiotwhowritesthings @atinylittlepain @imtryingmybeskar @ezrasbirdie

A stranger's heart without a home (complete)

Summary: A one night stand that later becomes a secret affair – or masterpiece of literature – all the poets and great writers ran so Doni could walk.

This is my favorite fic of all times, forever! I read and re-read it so much that I can’t even count how many times I’ve had read it, it’s my 100% comfort fic. Enemies to lovers is my favorite trope, and the way @morning-star-joy developed here it’s perfection in the most pure way.

It’s Joel on his Jackson era and it’s a perfect character development from both sides, how to people who prefer to deal things on their own learn to rely on someone else.

I also highly recommend But you know the killer doesn't understand, which it’s on-going Joel x fem! Reader also post-Outbreak in Jackson, but it’s different and addicting as ASHWAH.

A Lover’s Pinch (on-going)

Summary: a one night stand (do I have a pattern?) at the bar turns to be so much more when you discover that your fling it’s your professor at university.

The professor x student trope might be cliché for some, and by the very brief summary that I wrote above may sound like Pretty Little Liars, but @hier--soir works with those elements and creates something beyond amazing, it is like contemplate a work of art at a museum, but much better.

I’m very much obsessed with this story, that’s why I reread it with more and more frequency.

Can’t even mention the references in this story – it’s truly enriching, it makes all better, truly.

Plus: the playlist it’s amazing!!!!

Short Days, Long Nights (on-going)

Summary: Remnants of a band travelers, you and Joel find a cabin in the woods - what would be the problem with staying?

I’m crazy about this one, it’s my true love and it had 3 or 4 chapters when I started and now we’re heading to chapter 17, blessed be @frannyzooey for sustaining us with this preciosity for so long.

I'm a sucker for when there's one character (Joel) reluctant for his feelings, and if the story was only about this, I would be perfectly glad too with, too. BUT Kelli it's a genius, an amazing writer, giving me all that I didn't even knew I wanted.

It's fluff, with smut from the highest quality - with some tense moments, wich turns everything more addicting.

A Safe Haven (on-going)

Summary: Joel's quickly drawn to the vet of Jackson - even knowing she's married. Will this affair thrive? Or there's more underneath of the vet's story? (Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry for this lame summary, but I refuse to copy from your masterlist and I’m also rushing to finishing this rec today).

I was bought on the infidelity trope and the drama that comes with it. It would still be a nice story, but @joelsgreys it’s so much fucking talented that she wrote the most beautiful thing ever!

It has tooth roting fluff, drenching panties smut and heartstopping angst! All perfectly written and balanced.

I also love how Ellie it's also a crucial character for the couple's history and I really adore how she's attached to Peach.

Special mention to Fall Into Temptation and Strawberry, that lived rent free in my mind since I've read those.

Seams (on-going)

Summary: Joel pays visit to Jackson's seamstress after a trouble with his too-tight jeans – and it's only heaven from that on, won't say more.

Now I call @fuckyeahdindjarin ✨Queen of the Build Up✨ and that's because the way Cee builds up the sexual tension between characters it's undescribable.

Cee is such an excellent writer, not only in Seams but on other stories too she's gives a rich description of details that makes the reading flow better, it's like knowing you looking at gem stone.

Breakout (complete)

Summary: Boxer!Joel AU when he has to train a fuckboy who happens to date a sweet little thing.

Well I'm a fan from @the-ginger-hedge-witch for a while, she wrote one of the best Javier Peña fics ever (which turned into a book and that's fucking A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!) and other amazing stories, but this one got me hooked so bad.

Clearly I have a pattern because I LOVE when there is an obstacle for the characters to stay together, in this case, a relationship (I already spoiled that her boyfriend sucks, but I don't think it's spoils the story development) and Ren just atests she's a wonderful writer - now book writer, blessed be her 🙏🏻

And the idea of Joel using his fists it's already apealing, am I right?

I also recommend Friendly Fire, that I love just for knowing that in this, Ren envisioned an Aries character for reader - but also the premise of the story is great, too.

In The Woods Somewhere (complete)

Summary: living alone in a cabin at the apocalypse gets less dull when a teenager appears with a handsome injured man.

I've read this since a while, but it marked me. @eupheme created such tenderness between the characters - they know he and Ellie can't stay, which makes the affair even more apealling.

I’ll know It when I see it (on-going)

Summary: Joel as a porn star in its golden era who meets Lucky, a rising star in porn - chemestry goes beyond the cameras.

@bageldaddy deserves all the shout out forever because this here it's golden. They're both are porn stars and I could be hot just for this, but of course there's feelings involved - and the way they struggle to fight against these it's what makes this story even more perfect. Shout out to the one shot Sundown, as well, it’s completely wonderful.

Something wretched about this (complete)

Summary: Joel Miller it's a self appointed pharmacist in the QZ, and fucks you when you don't have how to pay for your father's medicine

Whoring yourself for meds sounds bad? In this story it's hot af! It's filthy, each chapter explores different sexual practices and it's THE. BEST. THING. IN. THE. WORLD!!!

@covetyou it's the most blessed being for writing a perfection like this, seriously. I loved every single chapter of this, loved Joel being an asshole and a slut. I can't tell enough how much joy this story has brought me. And lo it's better than Santa, because she provides christmas gifts for the nice and naughty, with Freeze-thaw (smut with fluff) and Baubles (smut with FILTH) - I can't die before I try the balldo, I didn't even knew this, didn't think that this could be possible - but happily it is, and this one shot it's perfect in every aspect.

Take Care of You (on-going)

Summary: Joel it's a sugar daddy in this AU and appears in your life to make all better 👀 He doesn't charges for the sexual part of the arrangement, but he's irresistible - so what will you do?

The ideia of a sugar daddy it's extremely appealing to me because that's all I wanted, you know? Some rich hot guy telling me I don't need to work and paying everything to me - that's living! Okay jk, but I started reading this when things caught up badly at work, so it was a sweet refuge.

@theidiotwhowritesthings it's the perfect writer! It's the perfect slow burn that makes you thirst for more and more!

Apothecary (complete)

Summary: Summary: Joel falls in love with the "witch" from Jackson and it has its perks and struggles.

I LOVE Practical Magic, it's one of my favorites witch movies so to read something inspired on that it's great -but @atinylittlepain it's such a wonderful, talented, amazing writer - so we were all blessed with this masterpiece.

It has fluff, angst, smut - stupid people being scared about what they don't understand and etc. It's very sweet, Joel also doesn't understands about her, but can't help being drawn. And Ellie it's a natural, their relationship here, how they grow to be a family ... it's utterly sweet. Special mention to Only Lovers Left Alive (another movie that I LOVE),  The Heyloft and the masterpiece Down to The Ankles (it's perfection and it's inspired in Bones and All, other film that I truly love).

Come home (on-going)

Summary: when you've lost everything and everyone, you reach to Jackson - and meets a ruggedly handsome who you can't help being drawn to.

I've read this for a while, as well, but I still think about this story often. It's a slow burn - which I love (in case you haven't noticed from the stories listed above) - and it's so sweet, the blossom of a friendship that turns to more, their relationship with Ellie ... It's been a while since it was uptaded and I hope @imtryingmybeskar it's okay, because this story it's lovely and I really wish to see and ending for them.

Catalyst

I'm gonna just summarize that it's a threesome with Joel and Frankie Morales from Triple Frontier, that's it - if that ain't reason enough for you to read, idk man.

I didn't even knew that I wanted it, that I needed it - until I read it. I find threesomes hot af, but I don't tend to enjoy when it's with characters that I love too deeply - don't ask me why - but in THIS ONE, GOD FUCKING DAAAAAMN!

It has filth, of course, but there's also fluff - which I find inevitable when it's about Frankie. In the chapter Here, especially, @ezrasbirdie builds perfectly of the struggles that I imagine for a threeway relationship, reading it was sad, hot and lovely.

Hope all the links work, 'cause I don't have time to check now 🙃

Sorry if my comments felt weird, if I forgot to mention something, as I've said above, I intend to make a part 2 of recs someday soon (hopefully).

I wish everyone a happy new year 🎆🥂🎇

[fruitcoops]

Bam-Boo!

Day 10: tattoo artist/ flower shop owner because...what the hell else would Mr Walker dream of, other than his hot goth-jock girlfriend? Never passing up that opportunity. Characters belong to @lumosinlove and header/ fest credit goes to @noots-fic-fests!

Day Nine movie: Jaws (1975)

“Stunning.”

A slitted brow rose. Thomas wanted to melt into the concrete like a sad, sad ice cream cone on a hot beach.

Your sign. Your art. Your face. “Plant?” he offered, holding the terracotta pot up between them.

The woman’s suspicion faded into surprise. She looked between them at the vibrant leaves (Thomas had made sure it was his best, and the same color as her eyes, not that she needed to know that) and smiled.

She smiled.

Smiled.

“Mint,” she said, and then there were dimples. “How did you know?”

Thomas swallowed. “Shot in the dark. Your window was empty.”

“Ouais. Still moving in.”

French. Oh, god. “It’s a hard one to kill.”

“I know.” Her fingernails were short and painted a glossy jet black, like thin pieces of obsidian. She took one leaf gently between her thumb and forefinger, then looked up at him with blinding curiosity. “My mother has it in her garden back home.”

“Where’s home?” Thomas asked before he could choke it back into a friendly hum.

But she answered anyway. “Québec. A lake town outside Montréal.”

“Sounds beautiful.”

“Stunning,” she agreed, grinning. Thomas was grateful for his nigh-invisible blush, because his face was in absolute flames.

“I meant—I meant the store,” he managed lamely.

The woman gave him a look. “Did you?”

Yes. Maybe. “Mostly.”

“Quel dommage.”

“Damage?” Thomas frowned at the storefront behind her. “Is it the plumbing? Mine is always acting up because of the irrigation systems. They’re old buildings, sometimes those things crap out—sorry, fail.”

She was still looking at him, expectant and amused. Thomas’ mouth was chalk-dry.

“I could take a look for you,” he offered. “Just…to make sure it’s working.”

Her gaze pierced his soul the same as a thin silver hoop pierced her upper ear. A wisp of her hair flitted in front of it on the next gust. Thomas flexed his hand at his side and forced himself to remain motionless. “Noelle,” she finally said.

His heart stuttered. “Christmas?”

“My name,” she corrected. Her face sparkled. “My name is Noelle, and I would very much appreciate it if you came in to take a look sometime.”

“Oh.” Very much appreciate it. Her name was Christmas, and she very much appreciated him. “Well. I would be happy to.”

Her clunky black boots squeaked at a slight rock forward and back. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he echoed.

“Thank you for the mint.”

“You’re welcome.” She was playing with the leaves again, her hand so close he could see each silver ring and had to quickly look away. A fleur-de-lis had been inked in black behind her silver hoop. Who had done it for her? A coworker at the parlor? A friend? Did she do her own tattoos?

Noelle had to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes despite the boots. “I use it in my tea.”

“You have tea?”

“Mhm. Every night.”

“That sounds nice.” He was going to faint. On the ground.

“It is.” Her sweater looked warm, but she still shivered at the next bit of wind that rustled the crunchy leaves down the sidewalk. They’d make it inside by nightfall. Probably.

Thomas might just stay here, now that he thought about it, frozen between his cheerful You Grow, Girl! welcome mat and her own bat-themed one.

“It’s better when it’s fresh,” Noelle continued with half a shrug. “So. Merci beaucoup.”

“We have a lot of extra, if this one doesn’t work out.”

She made a little humming sound, life-green eyes darting over his face and hands and apron and why had he not left his apron inside? “I think it will,” she said decisively.

“Don’t jinx the poor guy,” Thomas tried to joke, giving the mint a light shake. “That’s bad luck he doesn’t need.”

Noelle kept on smiling, like she had no idea what it did to him. “I’ll come by tomorrow for flowers. For the shop.”

For you, Thomas decided right then and there. They’ll all be for you. “Let me know what you like, and I’ll have it ready.”

“I’m sure I’ll find something.” That Mona Lisa smile. She took the pot between callused palms, holding it gently near the rim and under the base. A bit of graphite and ink stained the heels of her hands. He had missed it before. Her eyelashes looked impossibly thick when she glanced up at him. “Any care instructions?”

“Um.” Nothing. Blankness. What was mint, again? “Light and water, mostly. There’s a packet of plant food in the top to start him out while he adjusts.”

Noelle brought the plant up to cover one half of her face. “Feed me,” she joked in a low growl, wiggling the leaves at him. He laughed; the weight across his shoulders grew light. Noelle’s grin widened, all white teeth and a light rose flush to her cheeks.

“I’ll be in at eight tomorrow,” Thomas said before he could chicken out.

Noelle gave a crisp nod. “À demain…?”

“Thomas.” He sounded hoarse even to his own ears. “Thomas Walker.”

She cradled the pot in one hand and waved with the other, stepping back toward the rich black lace and neon purple adorning from her front windows. “See you tomorrow, Thomas Walker.”

Thomas stayed on the sidewalk after all, sneakers refusing to budge. The bell above her door jingled as it shut behind her. “Bye, Christmas,” he whispered to nobody at all.

[brins-rogers]

Mixed Signals - Azalea x Casey

a/n: absolutely not proof read!! just an angsty scenario between Azalea and her unrequited crush !

TW: mention of alcohol/underage drinking??, angst, one-sided crush

She never liked these parties, especially when she was only here for one person and one person only. He, of course, was trying his best to woo one of the cheerleaders who had absolutely not interest in him. Azalea, on the other hand, was too focused on how handsome he looked with the crappy LEDs illuminating his face with reds and purples.

She had it bad, really bad.

Truthfully, her sole reason for being here aside from Casey was to be the DD and drive him home. The odd beverage that looked like it contained a new type of disease sat untouched in her cup, she didn’t trust the cleanliness of the cooler anyway.

Things were getting rowdy in the clubhouse, the jocks arm wrestling and tackling each other with drunken laughter echoing across the main room. Kirby was the only one beside her, shaking his head in disgust at his teammates.

“I don’t see why you come to these things, they’re so lame unless you’re hammered.” Kirby had a solid point, but her heart and soul was on the dance floor now, laughing as he tackled Dan to the ground and made him say uncle.

“Oh,” Azalea hated it when Kirby pitied her, or anyone frankly. It seemed the entirely of Bullworth knew about her one-sided crush aside from Casey. Maybe he did know, and just didn’t want to reject her and ruin their eight year friendship.

“It’s okay though, I’m having a good time, really!” She was defending herself to Kirby who shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m outta here.” She was alone, again.

Damon had been roughly shoved to the side, slamming into the wall beside Azalea making her jump. The drink in his hand spilled all over the jumper and shirt, soaking her with the sticky liquid.

“Dang, my bad!” He laughed, slurring his words as he ran back out to the dance floor. Azalea grimaced, arms held out as she shook the dripping spiked punch off of herself. Great, just great. She’d have to stay here, sticky and uncomfortable until Casey was ready to go.

“Lea! You okay?!” Lo and behold, here the blonde was, shoving Damon so hard out of the way he bounced off the wall again in a different direction. “Ah, you’re a mess! Damon’s an idiot.” He scolded his friend, quickly pulling off his letterman jacket, leaving him in his grey t-shirt.

Azalea couldn’t help but to admire the way his biceps flexed when he took it off, trying with all her might to focus on his face. “Uh, yeah. It’s fine, really.” Casey frowned, putting his drink down. “No, it’s not. You’re my buddy, my best buddy. I’m not gonna let you be sticky and uncomfortable all night.”

He thrust his jacket to her, a lopsided smile. “Here, I’m getting too hot out there roughhousing with the guys anyway.” His jacket? His prized letterman jacket? Azalea could only look at it for a minute.

“Casey I can’t—“ “Oh, did you want my shirt instead?” As he went to lift the hem of his shirt above his head, Azalea’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. She didn’t know if she’d be able to handle looking at him shirtless, much less giving her the shirt off his back.

“Your jacket’s fine thanks!” Azalea plucked it from his arm, running to the bathroom to avoid him going shirtless in front of her.

Taking her soiled clothes off and exchanging it for Casey’s jacket, she couldn’t help but admire herself in the mirror. It was big, way too big on her frame. The sleeves went past her hands and looked more like a dress than anything. Taking the glasses off her face, she smiled at her reflection. She looked cute, really cute in the oversized jacket.

Stepping out of the bathroom, she rolled the sleeves up to her wrist so she didn’t look like a four year old wearing their dad’s clothing.

“Much better, buddy!” Casey hugged Azalea, the redhead straining to get her arms around his wide torso and hug him back. “Thanks, Case,” she called out to him as he returned to the dance floor.

The party just got a lot more enjoyable. But, the universe couldn’t let her be too happy for long.

“Oh, are you and Casey dating now?” Angie had asked, stumbling up to the redhead. Azalea opened her mouth to talk, but was cut off before she could answer. “Pft, Ang! Me and Azalea are just like, the bestest friends ever! She’s practically my sister! She’s just wearing my jacket since Damon spilled his drink on her. Isn’t that right, Azalea?”

Whatever happiness she had felt in that moment tanked. Giving a tight lipped smile, the redhead nodded. “Yeah, just friends. The best.” Angie looked up, grinning. Azalea’s stomach sank seeing the lipstick marks all over Casey’s face, the same shade Angie was wearing.

Angie grinned at the redhead, pushing her shoulder. “Better not steal that jacket, Casey said he’d let me wear it at the next game.” Oh, of course he did. Anything to get with the cheerleaders.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

[ladylooch]

Letters in Your Last Name - Chapter 3

Visit the series page here.

A/N: Smoooooth operator turning into a sweet, vulnerable boy 😍

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: swearing

The next afternoon, I’m sitting at the island in the kitchen, watching as Alex and Felicia grab their bags for their stay over, date night in Stillwater. Alex is stuffing his phone in his pocket before he turns to me.

“We should be back tomorrow after lunch. I think Mom and Dad might bring the kids back before so Serena can nap at home. She said she would call you.” Alex tells me.

“Sounds good.” I nod my head in understanding.

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Felicia asks innocently. She doesn’t know Kevin and I made plans for tonight, so I don’t believe she is knowingly trying to stir the pot.

“Nope.” I shrug.

“You’re more lame than us and we have two kids.” Alex laughs. “Might be time for some friends.”

“I have friends.” I mutter to him. “I’m going out with one tonight.” I instantly suck in a quick breath, wishing my annoyance at my brother didn’t create holes in my filter. Al doesn’t seem to care though as he shrugs his shoulders. He leaves the kitchen quickly after hearing a big thump come from the direction of Sawyer’s room.

“So, you going out with Kevin?” Felicia asks once Alex has disappeared down the hall. I widen my eyes at her. “Oh come on. It was pretty obvious you two were flirting at the bar yesterday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Luckily, Alex had a steady stream of fans asking for his attention. He didn’t notice.” She assures me. “So where are you two going?”

“5-8 Club. I told him he had to try a Juicy Lucy if he’s going to stay here long term. We are going to try Matt’s at some point too.”

“Excellent choice. Well, have fun and make good choices.” She gives an amused look before exiting the kitchen to finish packing.

Two hours later, the house is empty as I patter around getting ready for our night. I’ve opted for dark wash jeans, a cream and light pink sweater with light tan, ankle booties. My hair is curled to perfection and my make up is naturally light. I’m just fastening my diamond studs into my ears when I hear the doorbell chime. My heart jumps in response and I suck in a steady breath. I walk slowly up the stairs and into the entry way, glancing out the window to see Kevin standing with his hand in his pockets. I open the door slowly and take him in. He’s wearing black jeans with a black Givenchy sweatshirt along with black sneakers with white stripes. His hair is covered with a backwards, black baseball cap. He looks expensive and decadent just like the chocolate from his native country.

“Hey.” I smile widely at him. “Come in, I just have to grab my purse.”

“Take your time. I’m a little early.” He informs me as he steps into the house. “I am not sure how long it takes to get anywhere here.”

“Better early than late.” I tell him, leading the way to the kitchen where my black, Michael Kors purse is sitting. Normally, I don’t buy expensive things like this, but Alex got me it for Christmas as an extra thank you for all the help around the house.

“That’s what my mother taught me.” Kevin says, leaning against the wall and watching me across the kitchen. I grab my Apple Watch and strap it to my wrist, then I’m ready to go.

“You must have a great mom.” I tell him.

“I do. She moved with me to Sweden when I was 16 just so I could play hockey. The next year I returned by myself and lived alone. So, whenever I saw her, she had to cram all the lessons into the summer.” He laughs as I step towards him.

“That must have been hard for her to let you go.”

“It was. That’s why there is so much pressure to be successful. And why it sucked when I was not in Nashville. I do not want her sacrifices to mean nothing.”

“Good thing you have a fresh start here.” I am surprised at his immediate openness. Previously, he had been so cocky and sure of himself in our interactions. This softer, more vulnerable side of him has me wanting to curl into him like a cat and hear more. “I can drive if you want.” I hold my car keys up and he shakes his head no.

“Just tell me where to go.” He reaches his hand out for me and I lace our fingers together, tugging him from the kitchen and out the door. When we get to his Black Audi, he reaches for the passenger side and opens the door for me.

“Also from your mom?” I wonder as I step in, clicking my seatbelt into place.

“Yes.” He laughs before shutting my door and going to his side of the car. I instruct him which way to pull out of the drive way and then pull up Google Maps so a professional can direct him where to go. Once we enter the freeway, I ask Kevin to tell me more about his family.

“Well, it’s my father, mother, and sister. My sister is older than me by a few years. They all still live in Switzerland, close to where I grew up. I go see them when I can, but prefer to stay in Sweden in the off-season. They come to see me here and there at different points throughout the year.”

“Do you miss them a lot when you’re gone?”

“Yes and no. I’ve been living on my own since I was 17, so it’s just changed our relationships over the years. It’s hardest to be away from my sister I would say. We were close and with the distance, it’s been hard to stay as close as we would like over time.” I nod my head in understanding.

“What are their names?”

“My dad is Jan. My mom is Renata and my sister is Laura.”

“Will they come see you in Minnesota now that you’re here?”

“Probably. My mom was actually visiting me in Nashville right when I was traded. So, she helped pack some things and sent them to me here.”

“Oh! But then she had to go back probably?”

“Yeah, I pretty much was able to say goodbye and had to catch my flight to meet up with the Wild in New York.”

“That kind of sucks. You finally get to see her and it’s cut short by a trade.”

“A lot of things sucked about that trade.” He admits as he changes lanes. “Meeting you hasn’t though.” I blush in response and look out the window smiling.

Kevin exits the freeway and we wind our way down Cedar Ave until we pull up to a small building that looks strikingly like a church. He gives me a questioning look and I nod my head assuringly. He places the car in park.

“Hold on, I’ll get your door.” I laugh as he quickly jogs around to my side, opening my door again. He reaches his hand out for me and helps pull me up.

“Thanks.” I murmurs. My hand tingles from his touch as we head into the restaurant.

The inside is nothing to write home about, but the food is stellar. Delicious burgers, crispy fries, and an ice cold beer. I can’t think of anything more American for Kevin to experience. He has been here for a couple of years, but I wonder how much of the culture has really infused into him. We are shown to a high top table at the bar and we sit across from each other. A hockey game plays out on the TV by our table and Kevin grimaces.

“Ugh, St. Louis.” I glance at the score seeing they are playing in Missouri and leading the Detroit Red Wings by a goal.

“Not a fan?” I ask.

“No. I got hurt there. It’s still hard for me to play there.”

“You got hurt? Was it bad?” My brows furrow in response as I look at the unease on his face.

“It wasn’t great. I broke my femur and tore an artery in the playoffs two years ago.”

“Oh my god! That’s pretty serious.”

“Yeah being stretchered off in an arena full of people was a lot. But, I pushed through the rehab and was there with the team at the start of the season.” His voice has a confident edge that seems a little fake to me.

“Wait what!?” I exclaim. “You broke your femur in the playoffs and played at the beginning of the next season? That must have been some intense rehab.”

“It was.” He nods, taking a sip of his water. “A lot of pool time.”

“So, if it was the semi-finals, it must have been on national TV?” I wonder, grabbing my phone.

“Yeah, there is still video out there of it, but I’ve never seen it. I’d like to keep it that way.” He tells me.

“I understand… Is it okay if I watch it?” He nods in agreement and I pull it up. Something about his fake confidence has me wondering just how difficult this injury was for him.

I watch on my phone as Kevin barrels down towards the net with the puck on his stick. The Blues defensemen comes from his right, guiding him towards the boards. Kevin leans into the defensemen who pushes back against him. Close to the net, the Blues defensemen shoves at Kevin’s upper body and he loses his footing far enough from the boards that he slams into them hard, feet first. I grimace in response as he writhes around on the ice in pain, gripping his left leg in agony. Then, NBC gives the audience the courtesy of seeing it in slow motion. I gasp and flip my phone down so I don’t have to see anymore.

“That was terrible.” I look into his face with worry. “I can’t imagine how scary that was to be injured like that, in an away game, in a foreign country.”

“It wasn’t great.” He confirms, “They told me I might not be able to play again. That was probably harder than the injury. There was a lot of concern that even if I could play again, it wouldn’t be at a high level anymore. I couldn’t live with either of those things so I proved them wrong and rehabbed hard.”

“Yeah you did.” I told him, holding up my hand for a high five. He grins and slaps it. My hand buzzes still even after his touch is gone. “What was that like mentally though? I mean, hockey is a game that can be won in board battles.”

“The physical stuff was hard, but the mental aspect was the toughest part for me. I was timid. Then I had to act like I wasn’t. I ended up speaking to a sport psychologist and we worked through what she called the trauma of the injury. It got better after that. I only think about it in St. Louis these days.”

I take in his features- his hard set jaw and shoulders, determined for me to see that he’s made it through. Something about this toughness still feels a bit fake to me. I reach for his hand that’s sitting on the table and give it a squeeze.

“It’s okay if you still think about it in other places too.” I being to pull away and he grabs my fingers again, holding them in his hand.

“Thanks, Sam.” His eyes hold mine and I feel the connection between us become deeper. “So what should I order? A salad?” He jokes with me.

“Oh gosh. I don’t think they have those.” I laugh, flipping the menu over and glancing at it. We grow quiet for a moment before Kevin’s mouth drops open and he looks at me.

“They have to be kidding right?” He points under the Juicy Lucy section at the PB&J burger. It’s a patty that its stuffed with peanut butter and American cheese, then topped with strawberry jam. “Nobody would actually eat that right?”

“Truthfully, my brother Nick LOVES that burger. It sounds gross but apparently it’s good.”

“Wait, you have two brothers?” Kevin asks me, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, Nick is the oldest, Alex is the middle, and I’m the youngest.” I confirm to him.

“How is that with dating?”

“Not great!” I confirm. “They are both old enough that we never went to school together, but that didn’t stop them from instilling fear in the high school boys I tried to date.”

“It’s a brother’s job to keep his sister safe.” Kevin nods. “I do the same thing with my sister.”

“Disagree.” I say simply, looking back down on my menu. If I allowed Alex and Nick to do what they think keeps me safe, I wouldn’t be here. Plus it’s 2019, women are strong, capable, and don’t need men to look after them.

“Why is that?” Kevin tilts his head looking at me.

“Honestly, Alex doesn’t know I’m here right now. And if he did, he would probably be having a heart attack. Alex asked for me to stay away from you. As you can see I’m a great listener.”

“Stay away from me?” He asks, innocently putting his hand on my chest. “What’s wrong with me?” He jokes, putting his menu down and looking at me expectantly.

“It’s nothing personal about you. It’s that you’re my brother’s teammate.”

He pauses to consider that and nods in agreement. “ I guess I can see that. I’m not sure that I love the idea of lying to your brother about hanging out though.”

“Then I guess this is our last friend date together.” Kevin lets out a slow and low chuckle, giving his head a shake.

“It’s funny to me that you still think we are here as just friends.” His brown eyes turn a bit darker. “I said I didn’t love the idea, not that I wasn’t willing to do it to see you.”

I hesitate in responding to him. Did I really just ask Kevin to lie to my brother so we can hang out? I certainly don’t want to stop doing whatever this is. The idea of seeing him again excites me, but is it worth the repercussions to the team and my relationship with my brother? I sigh heavily. I’m not sure why I’m struggling with these questions now, but didn’t when I agreed to this “friend date” to begin with.

“I don’t know.” I tell Kevin honestly. “I probably shouldn’t have agree to come here with you in the first place.”

“Sam, are you having fun?” Kevin asks me. I nod in response. “Good because I am too.” His voice has grown softer as he speaks. “I want to see where this is going, but I don’t want to come between you and your brother. So, if this is it, then this is it.”

The thought of never doing this again makes my throat tighten uncomfortably. I don’t want that. Not in any cell in my entire being. I want to hear more about his life. I want to know what makes him happy. What he looks like on Saturday mornings when he wakes up. What he misses the most about home. I want to know him like the back of my hand. So I tell him.

“I don’t want this to be it.” He gives me a big smile and nods his head.

“Then this isn’t it.” He confirms. I smile in response, taking a sip of water to steady the butterflies in my stomach. The way he looks at me across the table has my head spinning in response. Damn.

The waitress brings over our order and I watch as Kevin studies the little piece of paper that comes with each Juicy Lucy. It’s a standard warning that the cheese in the center is basically boiling lava and will burn every tastebud in your mouth if you don’t let it cool off.

“This thing comes with a warning?” He laughs to me, holding the paper up.

“Welcome to America where we sue because we are too impatient to wait for our food to cool.” I shrug.

“How do I eat this?” He wonders, looking at me for direction.

“I usually wait a few minutes, then cut it in half. That way the cheese has solidified a bit so it won’t spill all out of the burger before you can eat it.”

“I’ll let you do it.” He pushes his basket over to me and I accept it. I cut into it and grimace at the hot steam that comes rushing out at me. “Geez, is this thing going to kill me?” He exclaims with an incredulous look.

“Not if you respect the cheese.” I give him back his basket and he looks at it expectantly.

“You first.” He motions for me to take a bite. I grab half of my burger and carefully place it close to my mouth. The steam has settled after cutting it open so I bite into it. I give Kevin the thumbs up that it’s okay while I chew. “Respect the cheese.” He repeats before taking a bite. I laugh in response and watch his face. “Oh wow, that’s good.” He confirms to me as he swallows.

“I told you!”

“You’re making a believer out of me, Sam Stalock.” He takes another bite. “Is the other place this good?”

“Yeah it’s very comparable. Some insist that Matt’s is better, but I think they both are equally delicious.”

We chat more as we eat our burgers about the history of the Juicy Lucy and all the other places it can be found over the metro. By the end of our meal, we have a list of ten different restaurants that we need to try. We are doing our own version of the burger battle and my heart is warm at the idea of spending more time with him. Talking with him, being with him like this is so natural. It doesn’t feel like work or pretending to be someone else. I’m comfortable with him. Kevin and I stay long after we finish our meals until we are the only patrons within the restaurant. I glance at the bartender who looks like he is itching to leave for the night. Kevin pays for our tab and I thank him as we walk back into the cold night.

“How is this in the snow?” I wonder to him, noting how low his car is to the ground.

“Not great.” Kevin laughs. “I’m trading this in for an SUV in a few days. So, fingers crossed we don’t get any snow.”

“That’s pretty risky for Minnesota in February. Sometimes we can get up to 12 inches of snow.”

“Well, fuck me.” He laughs. “We get snow in Switzerland and Sweden, but the temperatures are a lot more mild than what Minnesota has been so far.”

“Yeah, it’s unpleasantly cold these days.”

“Good cuddling weather though.” He gives me an easy smile. I rub my hands together. He reaches for my left hand, lacing our fingers and pulling it to his thigh. As he drives, he pulls my hand up to his lips and kisses it sweetly. His eyes don’t leave the road but his lips spread wider into a smile. I watch in awe, completely dumbfounded that this is our first date. It feels like we have been together for weeks, months even. We have settled into this natural flow of touching, laughing and sharing sweet looks.

When we climb the front steps of the house 30 minutes later, I feel sad that our night has already ended. Everything about him pulls me in. From his eyes, his smile, his personality- damn even his cologne gets me. I have this sense that what is happening between us is the start of something real, something I’ve never experienced before.

“Thanks for a great night.” I tell him, turning to face where he is standing by the stairs, hands stuffed into his pockets. His shoulders hunched a bit from the cold breeze.

“I had a great time. I’m glad it won’t be our last.”

“Me too.” I admit, my lips turning up into a welcoming smile. I bite my lip in response, not sure how to end the night. I know what I WANT to do. Smother him with kisses and pull him inside to see what this hockey player can do with those thighs. But that might be a bit too forward for a first date and truthfully, the thought of having sex in Alex’s house gives me a bit of the creeps- whether he is home or not.

Kevin makes the first move, stepping forward and extending his arms for a hug. I step between his outstretched arms and wrap mine around the middle of his body. I rest my nose against his shoulder, trying to hide the dumb huge smile that is stretching across my face. My temple touches his cheek and I can feel him lean slightly in to caress my head. I lightly breathe in the scent of his cologne, closing my eyes and savoring the crisp, manly scent.

“We leave tomorrow, but maybe I can see you when I’m back?” He asks as we continue to hold each other close.

“I’d like that,” I tell him, pulling away and looking up into his face.

Our eyes meet and I know he’s going to kiss me. My lips drop slightly apart as he dips down, our lips connecting. When they touch, fireworks explode around us and I have to hold my body still in order to not shiver in response. Damn, he tastes and feels as good as he looks. His tongue questioningly slides along my bottom lip and I allow him in. Our tongues touch delicately and it takes everything in me not to moan in response. Instead, I settle deeper into his chest and his arms tighten around me instinctively. When he pulls away, I keep my eyes closed for a second longer. When they flutter open to meet his, we both smile largely in response.

“So much for keeping your hands to yourself.” I whisper to him.

“I said hands. I never made any promises about my lips.” He laughs, leaning down and capturing my lips again.

Thank God for that.

When we pull apart again, he gives my hand one last squeeze before walking down the stairs of the front porch. I watch him stride confidently to his Audi, pulling the door open and pausing, with his hands against the top of the car.

“I’ll see you soon.” He tells me with a small wave.

“Bye.” I call to him as I step into the house. Once inside, I turn and look out the window next to the door.

As I watch his Audi pull out of our driveway, I know instantly, without any doubt.

I’m falling for Kevin Fiala.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Sharing A Bed Masterlist

Apricity - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) michael/ashton T, 23k

Summary: In which Ashton and Michael miss their flight home for the holidays and are forced to spend Christmas together.

are we something to each other (or are we just blowing smoke?) (ao3) - bellawritess michael/ashton, luke/calum T, 10k

Summary: A startled laugh escapes Michael, and he gently pushes against Ashton’s chest, though his hand lingers as if for a moment he considers holding Ashton in place instead. “You’re lame. And you’re not kissing me like that in front of your friends. I’m a respectable fake boyfriend, I don’t believe in gratuitous PDA.”

Between Us (ao3) - jadedperspective luke/ashton T, 7k

Summary: “Where are we going?” Luke asks.

Ashton’s fingers tap the steering wheel, his face light as he glances at Luke and then back at the road. “Wherever you want.”

“Okay.” Luke’s stomach swoops with the elation of spontaneity, the possibilities of where they could go this weekend seemingly limitless. They’ve paused at a stoplight and he angles himself towards Ashton, head tucked against his own shoulder as he admires his profile. “Can we go somewhere quiet?”

Or Luke has an awful week at work and Ashton knows just the way to cheer him up.

Bittersweet - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias))

Summary: It’s not growing older that scares Luke. It’s that everyone else will outgrow him before he catches up.

dream until your dreams come true (ao3) - bellawritess calum/ashton T, 12k

Summary: Mali pulls him into her room and instructs him to close the door behind him, which Calum does. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Is everything okay?” Mali repeats incredulously. She laughs. “Calum, are you really trying to tell me you’ve had a boyfriend for two months and you didn’t tell me? Because that’s what you’re asking me to believe right now.”

Calum’s heart skips a beat. “What? Do you not like Ashton?”

“Are you kidding me? I love Ashton. I know everything about him because you talk about him all the time. And if at some point he had actually become your boyfriend, there is no fucking way you wouldn’t have shared that information with me.” Mali levels a stare at him. “What’s going on, dude?”

greet another door that opens in (ao3) - mockturtletale luke/calum/ashton E, 9k

Summary: The photographer directs Luke to stand between them, maybe to offset the pinching fight that’s broken out, or maybe for some value of aesthetic that Luke can’t see because he’s in the picture.

home in your arms (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen) calum/ashton T, 7k

Summary: When the boys first move to London to live together and get their career started, Calum keeps having nightmares about his family. Ashton is always the first to comfort him, even dragging Calum to bed with him to make sure he sleeps through the night. Too bad that it might mean something different to Ashton than it does to Calum.

it's an emotional kaleidoscope when I face you (ao3) - FayeHunter, lifewasradical michael/luke, calum/ashton T, 33k

Summary: With one last sweep over his apartment, Michael is sure he’s ready to go, or at least as ready as he’s ever going to be. Nothing would ever prepare him for multiple days of nothing but Luke Hemmings.

Or, Michael and Luke broke up a few months ago, but a nonrefundable road trip has them back together for a wonderful ride from New York City to Orlando, Florida.

kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor (ao3) - bellawritess michael/calum T, 4k

Summary: Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

my waves meet your shore (ao3) - jbhmalum michael/calum T, 13k

Summary: “Anyway,” he goes on, clearing his throat. “Will you do it?”

“What, pretend to be your boyfriend for the night?”

Michael shrugs. “I guess.”

The silence of Calum’s hesitation is a bit too loud for a minute here, so Michael compensates by clicking his fork on the table and shuffling his feet under the table, until Calum kicks him again.

“Yeah, okay,” Calum agrees. Michael lets out a sigh of relief.

*

OR a (very self-indulgent) Malum Fake Dating AU

post you blues (ao3) - bellawritess calum/ashton T, 3k

Summary: Maybe Calum’s tipsy from the wine, or maybe the pseudo-romance of the candlelit dinner is affecting him, but he exhales loudly and says, “I wish we really were in love.”

Roses Laid upon your Bedspread (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/luke G, 1k

Summary: Luke didn’t know where to put his feet. It was an odd conundrum, admittedly, but he liked to curl up in bed in as tiny of a ball as his long limbs would let him and sleep the night away. The problem was that he was used to sleeping all alone in his big bed back home. This wasn’t his big bed. He wasn’t alone, and he wasn’t sure if he called this place home yet—if he was allowed to call this place home yet.

(In which Luke sleeps in Michael's bed for the very first time, but he has trouble with the falling asleep part.)

This calls for a band cuddle (ao3) - Bubballoo G, 1k

Summary: Luke doesn't feel well and crawls into Michael's bed. The solution? A band cuddle.

when did the diamonds leave your bones (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton E, 41k

Summary: It should be embarrassing, the way Ashton’s looking at him right now, but it’s much better than the last one he gave him; one of pure hurt, like he could never be forgiven for what he’d done. If Ashton still hates him—if he ever did, and Luke suspects he might have—he’s at the very least not letting it show.

“Do you want—something?” Luke asks, gesturing behind himself towards the kitchen, but he’s not entirely sure if that’s what he’s asking.

“Can I stay here for a few days?”

(or, eighteen months into an indefinite hiatus, Ashton shows up on Luke's doorstep and moves into his spare room.)

you and i are the last to leave the party (ao3) - CalmCake luke/calum, ashton/oc T, 7k

Summary: “So, are we gonna talk about your method of protection against intruders being a baseball bat now or later?”

Or; Calum and Luke aren't actually roommates until they are.

[actualtext]

Dec 27, 2022

All In One

Tuesday- Friday

I no longer felt apathetic. I had a normal range of emotions, nothing too extreme, but I was still very exhausted. I didn't have the motivation to do anything at all, not even work. Ya girl is broke af this week. :( The only day I did feel like working was Thursday and that's only because a friend had contacted me saying that she wanted to hang out, so I got ready, and then she canceled. Considering I was already dressed, I decided to try to work for a while. Work has been really slow so I only made like $45 and then I went home because I was feeling very tired. I made Vegan Pozole, and since I don't know how to only make single servings, it lasted me all the way until christmas day. :) I didn't starve this week or spend too much money on eating out so that was nice.

Even though I felt really tired, Jaime invited me out for dinner on Friday so I got my exhausted ass up and got ready. He picked me up and we had a great dinner dispite the fact that the original place I chose was closed. After eating, he mentioned that he needed to do some xmas shopping still so we went to the outlet mall and shopped for his parents. I realized at this point that I hadn't bought any gifts for my family who I had planned on seeing. I got gift cards for everyone because I didn't have the time or energy to do actual shopping. I was still very tired during this exciting outting. I felt like I was being dragged around, and I didn't mind, I just didn't wanna have to do anything extra. It was nice seeing Jaime.

Saturday

I woke up, and felt the most sluggish I have ever felt. I woke up around 11am but stayed in bed until noon. Everything I did felt like it was taking forever. The first thign I did was have a partial anxiety attack in my morning shower. Partial because I can normally ignore a negative thought, but this time it took me until I was crying to kind of realize that's what was happening. I was thinking about how critical my sister can be sometimes in regard to others. I thought about what if she hated my gift, and then tried to remind myself why I wasn't able to put much effort into gifts this year, and how she wouldn't know what I'm going through because I haven't made it a point to tell her whats going on, but also because if I did I feel like the version on her I know would end up using my weaknesses against me, and even tell others with out me wanting her to. I took the longest shower of my life, but made sure to do things I would consider self care- facial routine, and shaving (makes me feel feminie and soft). I needed to wrap gifts and despite not wanting to put any effort into the christmas gifts the day before, I all of a sudden wanted the gifts to not seem so lame. I decided to wrap the gifts as something other than what they were. I was still moving slowly but I was excited for their reactions.

It was about 4pm when I realized I hadn't eaten all day, and even though my gut told me I was hungry, I felt overwhelmed, and like I didn't have the time to make myself food because I still had so much left to do.

My cousin Ruby (one of my mains) messaged me asking what I had planned for the evening. When I told her nothing, she asked if I wanted to join her and her family on a christmas light driveby, I aggreed. We decided 8:30 pm would be good.

My friend Ethan (my first vegan friend) messaged me letting me know that he was helping his mom make vegan sheppards pie, and that I was more than welcome to stop by. I told him I needed to drop off some food at my sisters so that I would have something to eat the next day, and that I would be stopping by afterwards. My sister asked me if I was doing okay and I lied, even though on the way to her house I cried just thinking about talking about my feeling. I decided I wasn't going to discuss how I was feeling because I didn't want to cry much more this day, and I didn't do either. Going to Ethan's place was so fun. His family was watching a football game and they were asking me all these questions cause they hadn't ever actually met me. They were all really funny and welcoming. Very anti vegan though. Ultimately, him and I went to his bedroom and sat in silence on his be staring at our phones. It was so nice. I felt content after hanging with him.

Sunday

I had originally packed a dress for christmas day, allong with some cute stockings and shoes, but when I woke up, I didn't have the energy to change out of my PJs (they were festively printed with santa clause riding a skateboard). I went to my sisters house not really caring that I was feeling very "Meh." I had dropped off all the gifts and my food the day before so I just simply took myself to her apartment and didn't have to worry about everyhing else which was nice. I didn't cry this morning which I would consider a win. Everyone was excited to see me which made me feel really nice. Even my nephew, who I'm not particularly close with told me that he was gonna miss me when I left the state. That surprised me the most and also warmed my heart. I had asked for snack and money for my 18 hour drive to Indiana. The family came through. I got all the snacks I wanted and $100 which was really sweet. My sister even surprised me with a Pink hoodie/sweats set. That was uncharacteristically sweet of her.

I hate that I view my sister in such a negative light. I wish I could get over how she WAS and take her for who she currently IS. I just have a really hard time getting over things that affect the people I love (like when she was ugly to my niece and nephew), and I have a hard time getting over people hurting me too... I just feel so untrusting of her because I don't want her to be able to hurt me again. She know's I'm a very caring and giving person, and she's taken advantage of my kindness in the past. I just wish I could trust that she wouldn't do that again. She's the only sibling I have..

Wow, this is making me cry.

...She's the only sibling I have that makes me feel like she wants to be my sibling. and even then she's not really done a very good job making me feel like she loves me.

Our relationship wasnt strong enough when our mother died and I can't stop feeling like I'm an only child. It's so lonely.

My mom really spoiled me to the best of her ablitiy even though she was mean sometimes, she made me feel so loved. And like....no one is ever going to be able to love be te way my mom did. I worry about this alot. None of my remaining family can love me like she did, and I feel that so clearly and strongly. I hate it.

anyway, I had dinner with Jaime again. We went to an indian restaurant that got our spice levels reversed and so his food was too spicy and he couldn't enjoy it. I had also forgotten my wallet and he paid for me, so I felt terrible. I thought the dinner was somewhat of a distster but I got to hang out with someone who didn't make a fuss about it, and who made me feel safe and cared for so that was a lovely note to end the night on.

Monday

I spent the night at my niece's apartment christmas night. She had work this morning, but her roommate (a friend of mine from high school) was there. We mostly just lounged around and then went IKEA browsing with my niece. I felt inspired to come home and clean. I only had my desk left but my roommate kindly reminded me that I could do my room in segments and that I didn't have to overwhelm myself.

I haven't showered since Saturday which is really embarassing for me to mention, but I just want to take note of my lack of self care. I've eaten quite poorly quantity and quality wise. I did make the decision to stop drinking soda today, so I'm gonna try to stick to that. Soda isn't a major part of my diet currently, but I don't like how it makes me feel. (this, after I practically chugged a can of dr. Pepper and immediately felt disgusting.)

See ya tomorrow!

[wroteclassicaly]

i hope im not too late for the kink hour! 🫣 but skirt kink has been in my mind lately; either of the boys would love love love to see you in a short skirt that lends itself to some handsy flirting 😏

Ooooh, okay, so I love this ^_^ Thanks for sending it in!

Warnings: Language, mentions of masturbation, vaginal fingering, oral sex (female receiving), and more!

~*~

You’d all been friends a long time, but Eddie and Steve had started fooling around almost immediately after they bonded. Eddie wasn’t exactly shy about hiding how he continuously drooled over the former jock, often gossiping with you about how you’d both got off to not so friendly thoughts of Steve Harrington. However, Eddie got to him first, Steve reciprocating—suavely charming the metal head. They haven’t really labeled anything, both still pining after one more missing piece (you). You’d had to reign in your jealousy and nurse your sore wrist from the tension in the tendons, following the times you’d hung out with them and couldn’t wait to climb back beneath your sheets at home.

Today is different, though. You’re in your new cherry red leather skirt, fishnets tight over your thighs, and boots on your feet, with some lace crop top hugging (whatever your body type is <3) your figure. Nancy, you and Robin had went to get your nails and hair done for the Hallows Eve party in just a few hours, deciding to stop by the Family Video for some candy and videos to watch later in the night. None of you favored staying out too late and the parties around here were boring anymore. When you’d walked in between the two girls Steve had dropped all of his tapes on the floor and Eddie slipped on one, the cigarette he wasn’t supposed to be smoking in the store— catching in the carpet and burning a hole through the cheap threads. Once everyone’s laughter (you, Robin & Nance’s) had subsided, you three went into raiding the candy rack, stuffing Nancy’s big purse full.

But neither boy had stopped staring at you, whispering between the confines of their hair care product fumes and colognes. They also had zero plans tonight, but to get a little drunk at Eddie’s place after a small bonfire near Skull Rock. Though you suspect they’re headed there to make out (something you totally won’t be thinking about during the lame ass party). You’ve just gotten a pack of Razzles in your palm, shaking the candy from side to side, when Eddie is asking you something that makes your eyes roll beneath the smoky shadow.

“By the way, Y/N, what are you supposed to be going as?”

Steve, with his hand on his hip and a brow raised, smirks. You want to wipe it off with your mouth, but you’ll settle for some sass instead. Shifting on your work combat boots, you jut a hip out, tossing the Razzles behind you to an intercepting Robin, who hands them off to the stockpile Nancy’s organizing in her oversized bag.

Without missing a beat, you make sure they both know you’re simultaneously addressing them, and then it’s off your red stained mouth. “Your one night stand.”

You can hear Nancy snicker behind you, Robin coughing into her fist, with a ‘holy shit.’ And the guys’ expressions? Christmas has flown in early. You have to turn and bite on your painted lip, your two girlfriends sharing a mental high five with you. That’s the exact moment you see Nancy get one of those looks. The one that tells you she’s got a plan circulating around in that head of hers.

Before you can question it, she’s slapping a ten dollar bill on the counter, telling Steve to keep the change, and she’s pulling Robin towards the door, halting you as you attempt to follow, confused and slightly irritated. “Nance? What the fuck?” You warn.

“You don’t like parties anyway, right? And I was thinking me and Robs had this thing we were gonna go check out, instead—“

“We did?” Robin is more confused than you, receiving a slightly shoulder bump from Nance. “Ow! Okay, we did!”

“And why can’t I come? Or is it just the Nancy and Robin show now?” You cross you arms, tired of third wheeling different scenarios (oh, you are so not thinking of the two men to your left, still attempting to process your words).

Nancy shakes her head and backs completely out of the door with Robin in tow, that bell ringing and making your palms begin to sweat. You’ll be alone here, with no plans and no ride home. Her plan. Sometimes, you wished she were still into Steve. “Make it work!” She calls out, winking at you.

The silence that follows is sickening. It’s you and the combination of the only two guys you’ve ever really felt much of anything (everything) for. And you’re wearing something that’s so unlike you, you could be mistaken for a slutty clone. You sigh, folding your arms on the counter and using one hand to dig into your small clutch for cab money. Steve is objecting immediately, seemingly insulted.

“You know she meant for me to drive you home, right?”

Your patience thins and the band snaps. “No fucking shit, Harrington! She had to completely deviate from our plans in favor of her own, embarrass me—“

“Why would you be embarrassed? We’re all friends, aren’t we?” Eddie is baiting you, those large chocolate eyes making you feel zoned in on and small, but in ways that keep you grounded, held.

“Some of us…” You mutter, swallowing on the rush of a sudden anxiety spike.

They look at one another in knowing communication. You pretend you don’t notice, looking at your new nails.

“You’re awfully quiet, sweetheart. Cat got your tongue?” Eddie is getting closer and you turn around to avoid it, but he slides in behind you, arms on either side of your body, knuckles pressed on the counter that you’re leaning on, his chin dropping onto your shoulder. “Talk to me. M’ not gonna judge, you know that.”

“To us.” Steve comes around the counter so that he’s directly in front of you and Eddie, tilting over it on folded arms.

Fuck. You’re directly between them, caught.

“It’s just… I got into this stupid ass outfit and now I’m not going anywhere but home. It was all a waste of time.” And that’s not a complete lie. You’ve just left out the part that you wanted them to go crazy in seeing you dressed up, in comparison to your usual getup of jeans and t-shirts.

“Nance didn’t think so.” Steve tries.

“Yeah, well, who cares what she thought.” You snap, trying to shake off Eddie’s hold. He doesn’t budge.

“Do you care what we think?” It’s Steve’s voice again, his thumb reaching out to brush along your jaw.

You immediately jolt into the contact, hips pushing back against Eddie’s crotch without meaning to. He stiffens, groaning, tone muffled in your shoulder, almost a plea. “Man…”

You’re tired, so very exhausted. Lifting your gaze to Steve’s, you nod. “And what if I do? What if I tell you that it’s all for you guys? That what I’m wearing underneath was especially bought with you two in mind…?”

Eddie’s lifting himself from your neck, eyes rapidly darting between you and Steve. “Fuck, for real?”

“Don’t act like we didn’t talk about getting ourselves off when we thought about Steve. Except you can actually do stuff with him now.” You’re being entirely transparent, breaking free of his grip.

“You… you guys masturbated thinking about me?” Steve’s freckle dotted throat constricts around a gulp.

“I masturbate thinking about both of you.” You confess, chewing on your lower lip, arms crossed so that you can caress your own flesh in comfort.

“As in… present tense?” Eddie verbalizes. Steve is already retreating from his place around the counter, finding your personal space with a brisk invasion.

His big hand hovers over the side of your fish net covered thigh. “Can I feel you a little bit, honey?”

You don’t have to ask why, Eddie cutting off your remaining doubts, finding your left side. “We talk about you every time we fuck, Y/N. You’re there even when you’re… not.”

He brushes a back handed stroke with his rings over your collarbone, their metal cooling your skin. Steve scratches along the fabric stapled to your thighs. “Pretty. Like a present that’s begging to be unwrapped.”

“Fuck, guys. Don’t you have plans tonight?” It’s a lame question on your oblivious end, but it makes Steve snort and Eddie grin.

“Plans with an additional person. One that we’re definitely gonna have to keep warm in the woods tonight.”

They close in on you and you’re entirely fucked. You’ll have to thank Nancy later.

~*~

The firelight glitters in the background, staving off Autumn’s biting night breeze. It’s beautiful and serene, noises identified only by the singular panting breaths of three people caught in pleasure. They took you along with them after Steve closed down the store.

Eddie made good on his promise to keep you warm, but you suspect it was a way to also see you with half your costume on. Your boots and fishnets are on top of your shirt and jacket, your underwear beside them. A blanket is underneath your feet to give them comfort. Your skirt is bunched around your waist, and your silk black bra pulled down to expose your breasts. Steve is on his knees in front of you, his mouth working in delicate slurps that drag you onto your tip toes with each stroke, pushing you back into Eddie, who has one finger deep in your cunt, working in tandem with Steve’s tongue.

You’re on the cusp of a sweet death and headed to hell on Halloween.

[bluewhale52]

Kim Yeontan, Cupid Extraordinaire

Summary: Yeontan has had it. It is time to take his human's love life into his hands- or rather, paws.

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Genre: fluff

Rating: SFW

WC: 1.9k

Recommended song to listen to while reading: it's Definitely You by V and Jin of BTS

🎄This fic is a gift, created through @bangtansecretsanta​ and is for @daechwitatamic. Hi Jo!! Surprise! I’m Eggnogg, your secret santa! Hope you enjoy this fic and that it helps you carry through the last few days of work. Have a safe trip, and stay warm! (*^.^*) 🎄

Kim Yeontan has had it.

He loves his human, he really does, but boy, Taehyung is really getting on his nerves.

Yeontan could not understand why six months ago Taehyung suddenly changed his usual grooming salon to the one further away. It took him a couple of sessions to realise that his human actually had a crush on the owner- you. So Yeontan did what he could to help- he barked and growled at everyone, but put on his best charms when you handled him. That way, it was guaranteed that only you and you alone would do his grooming, and thus giving his human more chances to interact with you.

Kim Yeontan, genius.

Kim Taehyung, not so much.

Because despite Yeontan’s effort and putting his reputation on the line, Taehyung still has not made any move on you. The human would take him from you after the session, make small meaningless talk, leave the salon; then, once at home, he would rue to the dog, regretting not asking more about your day, complimenting your choice of music or the cute dog sweater you always have on. Yeontan would just huff and roll his eyes.

So today, as he lies on the soft little pad on your work-station, while you dry and brush his hair, Yeontan decides he has to do something major- BIG- to make sure his human does not miss his chances, again. The thing is, as much as Yeontan is tired of listening to Taehyung’s whines about you, he really likes you too, maybe even more than his human does. You have the best scent in the whole world, and the nicest smelling shampoos that satisfy his senses just so. And your fingers? Oh, don’t get him started- they are so soft and deft that he always purrs whenever you massage him. He wants those fingers on him all the time, not just once a month for just an hour. All the more Yeontan has to succeed today- no more lost time because his human is being an idiot. 

“Almost done?” A gruff voice from your assistant, the feline-looking human, snaps Yeontan out of his thoughts.

“Almost,” you confirm. “Is Taehyung-ssi here yet?”

Your assistant scoffs. “Don’t worry, you look good.”

“Shut up, Yoongi! I’m just asking!”

Yoongi snickers. “Then there’s no need to get so testy! Control the blushing though, your ears are so red. Your crush is showing.” 

Yeontan’s ears perk up. Oh, this is interesting. 

“Can you just go clean up? We have no more appointments for the day.” You instruct Yoongi, then you bend down to look Yeontan in the eye. “Don’t tell your daddy that, okay? My ego can’t take being rejected by someone so handsome.”

“I bet he likes being called ‘daddy’ too!” Yoongi pipes in.

“Shut up, Yoongi!”

Yeontan purrs in satisfaction. Excellent, this will be a lot easier than Yeontan has expected. 

Yeontan smells his human arriving and immediately sits up. You have put a Christmas ribbon on his collar, and he feels confident of his plan. When the bell on the salon door jingles, he watches you patting your cheeks and taking a deep breath. 

“Hello, Taehyung-ssi! Your son is all ready for Christmas!” You lead Yeontan out towards the reception area. Yeontan can sense your nervousness, so he yips, telling you not to be because he’s got this. 

“Hello, _______-ssi! Ah, Yeontan-ah, look how cute you are!” Yeontan yips and spins in circles, showing off your work. The two humans laugh at his antics, and you pass the leash to Taehyung. 

“He looks so handsome, as always after you do your magic on him.” Yeontan wants to scoff at his human’s lame line, but notices your ears getting redder, so perhaps that actually works for you. “Oh, this is for you, just a little Christmas and thank you gift for, uh, you.”

Taehyung takes out a small black box from his bag and passes it to you. You splutter as you receive it. “Oh, you really shouldn’t have, Taehyung-ssi!”

“Yeontan really likes coming here, and you’re a really great dog groomer, so I just- well, we- want to thank you for everything.”

You thank him again and at his urging, opens the box. 

“It’s from the Pink Hamster cafe in my neighbourhood. I really like their chocolates, so I thought, you might like them too. I’m not sure if you’ve had them before though, but you know, it’s really good, and the owners are friends of mine, and I like supporting local businesses, so yeah,” Taehyung takes a deep breath. “I hope you like it.”

Yeontan turns to watch you. You bow a couple of times, thanking his human, and Yeontan yips a few times, encouraging him to say more. But Taehyung just inhales deeply and makes preparations to leave. “Let’s go, Tan-ah, let’s go home.”

Oh no, not yet. Yeontan still has a lot to do.

Before Taehyung can move, Yeontan uses all his might to surge forward, yanking his human forward closer to you. You yelp at the sudden movement and raise your hands up to catch Taehyung’s body, in the process dropping the box of chocolate to the floor. Yeontan almost gets distracted by the smell of the chocolate, but he catches himself in time and continues to run around Taehyung and you, his leash looping around both your legs, trapping you together.  

Once he feels the leash getting tight, he stops and admires his work. You and Taehyung are pressed chest to chest, trying not to hold onto each other, even though both are losing balance by the way your feet are tied together with his leash. Satisfied, Yeontan wriggles out of his collar, his head easily popping out. With his newfound freedom, he saunters over to sniff at the fallen chocolates. 

All this while, both humans have been rendered speechless, but you and Taehyung start shouting at him to stay away from the chocolates. The noise brings out the feline-human, who only laughs gleefully upon finding the scene before him.

“Yoongi, help! We got tangled! And the chocolate! Get Yeontan away from the chocolates!”

Yoongi, still chuckling, picks up the chocolates from the floor and puts them back in the box. “Lucky these are individually wrapped, otherwise they’ll go to waste,” he mutters. When he meets Yeontan’s eyes, he whispers conspiratorially. “Did you do all this, Tan-ah? You cheeky dog.”

Yeontan yips at him, telling him to pick up the chocolates and go away. To his surprise, the human winks, seeming to understand his grand plan. 

“Chocolate will be safe here,” Yoongi places the box on a high shelf, then smiles at the two tangled humans, before going back inside.

“Yoongi! Yoongi!” You shriek, calling him back to no avail.

“Oh my god, _______-ssi, I’m so sorry,” Taehyung apologizes, “I don’t know what on earth gets into Yeontan!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you place your hands on Taehyung’s shoulders. “Let’s just untangle ourselves. Can you wiggle your feet a bit?”

Taehyung tries to do what you suggest, but with little result. “It’s quite tight, I don’t have enough room. Wait, let me try to reach for the end of the leash.” He bends down, but because of the position he is stuck in with you, you end up losing your balance again and almost topple over. He catches you in time, however, and with his hands on your sides,  helps you to straighten yourself.

“Well, that doesn’t quite work either.” He sighs.

“Yoongi!” You scream again for your assistant. 

Yeontan continues to watch you and Taehyung, pleased with himself. 

“Do you think we can shuffle to that seat there? Maybe one of us can sit down and it’ll be easier to take this thing off.” Taehyung proposes.

“Yes, good idea!” You exclaim. “But, uh, we have to hold on so we don’t fall.”

“Ah, yes of course. I guess you can just put your hands around me? I mean, my shoulders! My shoulders, put your hands there.” Taehyung clears his throat. “And uh, is it okay if I hold you here?”

You nod and Taehyung grips the sides of your arms.

“Okay, ready?” “Yup. On three we start shuffling together.” You affirm.

“Okay. One, two, three!”

Yeontan takes a step back as the two humans start wriggling around. It reminds him a little of a caterpillar he found once in the park. 

You suddenly stop, however, when Yoongi is back in the reception area, with his jacket and bag… and a bowl of dog food?

“Yoongi? You’re leaving?”

“Yes. Have fun with,” Yoongi waves his hands, “whatever it is you’re doing.”

“No, Yoongi, please, you have to help us!” You plead.

Your assistant chuckles and places the bowl of food near Yeontan. “Good boy. Enjoy dinner and entertainment.”

“Yoongi!”

“So,” the man simply puts on his beanie and buttons up his jacket, ready for the wintry weather outside. “in case she forgets to mention- for whatever reason- she and our friends are having a get together here on Christmas day. Bring a plate or a bottle if you’d like. We’ll eat, get drunk and watch Muppet Christmas Carol. Oh, and definitely bring Yeontan too. There’ll be lots of other dogs he can play with.”

“Yoongi!” You hiss at him.

“Okay, then, have fun you two!”

Yeontan is too busy enjoying his food when the feline-human leaves, but he does not miss the gummy smile and two thumbs up he gives you from the window.

“Oh my god,” you groan, “he could’ve at least helped!”

“Don’t worry, ______-ssi, we’re almost there!”

Yeontan perks up at his human’s voice. There is more confidence in it, so Yeontan yips at him in approval. 

You laugh and rest your head on Taehyung’s shoulder. “This is so funny.” Your body starts to shake as you laugh more loudly. He starts laughing too, and without saying anymore words, you both continue to shuffle towards the seat.

Finally you reach your destination, and Taehyung volunteers to sit down so he can untangle the mess his dog has caused.

Yeontan observes you looking away and biting your lip when his human reaches down to your bound feet. The position is awkward considering your close proximity, and Taehyung’s face is so close to your outer thighs. He stares at Yeontan as he unwraps the leash.

You should be thanking me, Yeontan mumbles. His human narrows his eyes at him.

Your feet free at last, you take a step back to give space for Taehyung to straighten up.

“Maybe I should get a shorter leash?” 

You cover your face as you laugh. “That’s a good idea.”

You both stand awkwardly facing each other, and Yeontan promises himself to nip his human’s foot if he stays silent for another second.

“Um, can we buy you dinner,” Taehyung glances at his dog, “to make up for what happened?”

Yeontan yips and spins in circles. Bravo, human!

You look taken aback by Taehyung’s request, and you look at Yeontan as well. The dog stops spinning and trots over to you. He stands on his hind legs, while he paws at your leg. 

Say yes! He’s really fun, you will like him a lot!

You smile at his antics. “Okay,” you agree. “Just give me a few minutes to close up?”

Taehyung nods and watches you fondly as you go back inside. Then he picks up Yeontan’s collar to put it back on him.

“You,” he squeezes Yeontan’s face in his hands, “you are something, Tan-ah.”

Yeontan licks his nose. Taehyung ruffles his hair and places a kiss on his head.

“Thanks for the push, son.”

Ta da! Hope you enjoyed reading this, Jo! Happy Holidays!

Like this fic? Please reblog if you do! Published on 21122022, crossposted to my AO3

[twistedsiren86]

Secrets

Just a little hurt/comfort and fluff for my exhausted brain.

He didn’t talk about it.

He didn’t know how.

He didn't know how to explain the longer for something he never really had.

Steve and Eddie had been playing this dangerous game for months. One of the would say ‘tell me a secret’ or ‘what do you hide away in that brain’. Steve knew it would eventually lead to something he didn’t want to dig into. Something he’d properly buried deep within, left flowers to wilt, and never visited.

“Tell me a secret, Harrington.” Eddie sighs, laying back on the wooden dock at lover’s lake.

The stars above them crystal clear in the midnight sky. Eddie had shown Steve new constellations, and they had shared a joint. It had been easy, careless conversation before those words left Eddie Munson’s lips. Steve hadn’t prepared for it, and he didn’t have something just dark enough to claim it as a secret, but not down deep enough to stir an ache in space between his ribs.

“I dunno, man. Didn’t I share last time? It’s your turn.” Steve shrugs off the question.

“Nuh uh, I told you why my dad buzzed my head last time. Spill, Stevie.” Eddie turns his head to look over at Steve, searching his eyes for bits and pieces of what’s hidden below.

“I-I, uh, I don't know.” Steve looks away, turning his attention back to the stars, hoping they’d spell out a story to tell Eddie.

“Lame.” Eddie groans and throws an arm behind his head. “And totally cheating,” He accuses.

“Fine!” Steve throws a hand up. “Fine, uh, just let me think.”

Steve took his time, rifling through the catalog of accepting trauma to share with the man he had gotten so close to. Something that wouldn’t scare him away, but also something that wasn’t hiding the truth.

“Okay, take your time.” Eddie says as he watches the stars, moonlight shining down on them.

So, Steve did. He took his time flipping through the pages of his childhood, becoming a teenager, high school, the kids, Nancy, the Upside Down, Eddie. He thumbed through the layers of his life until he landed on something he had never shared with anyone.

“I... Haven’t spent a Christmas with my parents since I was thirteen.” Steve whispers, Eddie barely hears him.

Steve stomach drops as he admits the truth.

“Wait, what?” Eddie’s brow furrows and he turns his head to look over at Steve who is staring blankly at the sky.

“My, uh, my parents don’t come home for Christmas anymore. They haven’t since I was old enough to stay by myself. Or Thanksgiving, or birthdays...” Steve trails off, closing his eyes as the ache swells in the space around his lungs.

“So, you just... spend them alone?” Eddie asks softly, as gentle as that kind of thing can be asked.

“Yeah, pretty much. I spent one Thanksgiving with the Wheelers. And I threw keg parties on my birthdays, but Christmas is always just me and their house.” Steve sighs.

“That’s why you’re the mom.” Eddie proclaims, nodding his head.

“What the actual fuck do you mean by that, Munson?” Steve looks at the man next to him like he grew a second head.

“You mom. With the kids. You show up to Lucas’ basketball games. You bring snacks to the Hellfire Club meets. You chauffeur the kids from school to the arcade to their houses and wherever else they want to go. You made sure Max got back on her skateboard. You came out to Will so he wouldn’t feel so alone. You spend way too much money on them when it’s their birthdays. You mom them.”

“Babysitter, Munson, not mom.” 

“Same shit, Stevie.”

“Fine! I take care of the kids. Yeah. I make sure they never feel as alone or as unlovable as my parents have made me feel. I don’t miss their birthdays. I blow money on them because I have it to spend. I make sure they are supported in all the ways I never was.” Steve sits up, pulling his knees to his chest.

Eddie sits up as well, looking over at the taller man.

“I never want any of them to deal with the fallout. The loneliness, the anger, the sadness, the anxiety of it. I don't want any of them to feel the longing or shame that I feel.”

“Shame?”

“Yeah, man, like I did something to make my parents not want to be around, I used to blame myself a lot for that shit. I grew up, realized it wasn’t my fault, but those feelings just don’t go away.” 

The men sit in silence for a long time, the sound of cicadas, the water, and small animals in the leaves are all that fills the air around them. Eddie eventually throws an arm around Steve’s shoulders and Steve leans into the older man. They sit like that, just looking over the water, watching the reflections of the stars in it.

“Well Wayne makes a mean turkey sandwich, and we buy a pumpkin pie for dessert. So, you’re coming over for Thanksgiving. And we’ll spend Christmas with the kids.” Eddie proclaims.

Steve sniffles and laughs softly, his heart warming.

“Is that so?” Steve asks.

“Hell yeah it is. You never gotta be alone again if you don’t wanna be, Stevie.” Eddie assures him.

“You promise?”

“On my sweetheart.” Eddie chuckles and tightens his arm around Steve.

“I like being alone with you.” Steve admits aloud.

Eddie smiles and presses his lips against Steve’s hair.

“Me too, baby. Could be alone with you forever.” Eddie whispers against Steve’s hair.

“Forever.” Steve proclaims and settles into his lover’s embrace.

[sweet-seishu]

Secret Santa

Pairing: Timeskip! Mitsuya x Fem! Reader

Warnings: breif mentions of the dirty deed but nothing graphic, fluff, a couple swears? Bad editing and writing

A/N: I always have mitsuya brainrot bye.

“Pick.” Hina said, holding out a bowl with a bunch of papers. You and the rest of your friends were all at Mikey's place.

“Two questions. One, Why are we doing this again?” You asked. “And two, do I really need to participate?”

“Because it’s Christmas and yes.” Hina told you. “Secret Santa’s are fun!”

“Lame.."

“Just pick dammit.” She told you. “Who knows, you may get a certain purple haired boy..”

“Quiet.” You groaned picking a piece of paper out of the bowl. Your cheeks reddened as you looked at the name.

Mitsuya

“Shit.” You muttered.

It’s not that you didn’t like Mitsuya, it was actually the complete opposite.

You loved him, and not in a platonic way. He had been one of your closest friends for a long time, and your feelings only grew the more time you spent with him over the years. Now here you were, completely in love with him.

You looked over to the designer, he was laughing at something Hakkai had told him. He looked over to you sending you a sweet smile, which you returned.

“Well I’m going to retire for the night.” You told everyone. "I will see you all later."

You got up off the couch, waving goodbye as you walked to the door.

"Wait y/n!" You heard Mitsuya say. "Let me walk you home." He smiled at you.

"You don't have to... it's only a couple blocks away." You smiled.

"I want to." He told you before looking back at your group of friends. "I'll probably head home after to, so I'll see you all next time."

You both walked in a comfortable silence while the cold hair was making you shiver.

“You okay?” Mitsuya asked.

“Yeah, the wind is just chilly. I'll be fine though.” You told him.

Mitsuya pulled you into his side, his arms wrapping around you to hopefully give you extra warmth.

"You don't have to do this Kashi..." You mumbled.

"It's okay, I don't mind."

You thanked him as you wrapped your arms around his waist, taking in the warmth he provided.

“So who’d you get for the Secret Santa thing?” He asked.

“Takashi.” You smirked. “It’s called Secret Santa for a reason.”

“Oh come on, you can tell me who.” He smiled down at you, making your heart flutter.

“Absolutely not. Stop being so nosey.” You squeezed his side, making him chuckle.

“I’ll tell you who I got if you tell me.”

“No you won’t.” You laughed.

“Fine, fine. Don’t tell me.” He sighed. “I have no clue what to get the person I got..”

“Same.” You sighed as you reached your place. “Wanna stay and watch a movie?”

“I’d never miss the chance to hang out with you.” Mitsuya smiled. You both entered your place, discarding your jackets and shoes.

You both sat on the couch, Mitsuya immediately pulled you into him, putting a blanket over the both of you. You quickly snuggled into him, letting him choose something on Netflix.

Mid way through the movie, you let your eyes shut, feeling a soft pair of lips on your forehead before letting sleep take you.

•••••

“Hakkai!” You yelled as you saw him walking down the street.

He looked over to where you were with a smile. “Hey Y/N.”

“I need you.” You told him. He immediately blushed.

“E-everything okay?” He stuttered.

Though usually shy with most girls, Hakkai was okay with you, but you still made him very flustered.

“No!” You groaned. “Okay, I got Mitsuya for the Secret Santa thing, and Hakkai, I don’t know what to get him!”

Hakkai let out a breath of relief. He really thought something was wrong.

“Well, what are your ideas so far?”

“Well I don’t know, more threads and needles? A new shirt?”

“Uh, well, those are um-” Hakkai started.

“Terrible! I know.” You put your face in your hands. “I want to get him something meaningful you know? I don’t want to get him something stupid. He deserves the world, if not more. Do you have any ideas?”

Hakkai smirked at you, knowing the feelings you had for his best friend.

“I am planning to shop for who I got, so how about we shop together?” Hakkai said.

You smiled brightly, quickly looping your arm through Hakkai's.

"That would be a huge help, thank you so much Hakkai."

"Of course." He smiled. "But I have a question."

"Shoot." You told him.

"What I should get Baji?"

•••••

“Emma, I really don’t know what to get her. I don’t want to get her something stupid.” Mitsuya groaned.

“Well what are your ideas so far?” Emma asked.

“Well I know she really likes music, so I was thinking new headphones? Maybe some CDs...”

“Those are-”

“Stupid.” Mitsuya mumbled. “Trust me I know. Emma, I need this gift to mean something. I finally want to tell her how I feel, and I want this gift to help me say it.”

“Should just buy her a ring, we all know it’s headed in that direction anyway.” Emma shrugged. Mitsuya lightly pinched her arm making her yelp. “Okay okay, what about a necklace or something?”

“We can look at those I guess.” Mitsuya told her.

“Mitsuya, whatever you get her she will love don’t stress about it.” Emma told him reassuringly.

They walked into a jewelry store, heading straight to look at the necklaces.

“This one?” Emma said, pointing to one with a simple heart shaped diamond.

“Nah, it needs to be something she will love. She isn’t like every other girl you know.”

“Of course I know that, she’s my best friend you idiot. I just figured since you wanna tell her love her that would be a good option.” Emma told him.

“Why did I bring you?” Mitsuya asked, rolling his eyes.

“Because I’m an expert on all things Y/N. Now there is either a necklace with a music note on it, or, there is a really pretty charm bracelet, and you can customize it yourself. If I were you I'd go with the bracelet, it's more personal." Emma said with a small smile.

Mitsuya walked over to the bracelet. Looking, making sure to look at the charm options.

“This is perfect.” He said with a smile. He picked out 3 charms before paying.

“Alright Romeo, now help me find a gift for Chifuyu.”

•••••

You were nervous.

Well terrified was a better word.

It was finally Christmas Eve, the day to exchange gifts. After shopping around with Hakkai, you finally decided on getting Mitsuya a new chain. He had been wanting a new one for a while. This one had a dog tag, which you had engraved with a message.

But you just didn't think that was enough. So you made something for him, that had a personal touch. You refused to put your gifts under the tree. You didn’t want to give them to him with everyone around.

You finally decided it was time to tell Mitsuya how you felt. You knew it was a risk, but you were willing to take it.

“Kazutora, this one is for you, and Draken this one is yours.” Mikey was handing out the gifts. Mitsuya’s was at your place. You bit your lip, looking over to him from time to time.

God he looked so good in his black button up and black jeans. You all decided to look somewhat formal, but you were able to get away with a pair of black jeans and a nice red long sleeve shirt.

“Hina this one is for you, Baji, Chifuyu, these two are for you.”

Mikey had finished handing out the gifts. You furrowed your brows, realizing you didn’t have one. Maybe your name wasn’t in the bowl?

Mitsuya looked around. He didn’t really need the gifts, but he couldn’t help but notice that he didn't have one.

So who pulled his name?

You were playing with the sleeves of your shirt, watching everyone open their gifts. You looked to Mitsuya to see him already looking at you.

He said something to Hakkai quickly before getting up and making his way to you.

“Do you think we could go to your place for a bit?"

You nodded getting up to follow him. You said your goodbyes to your friends before grabbing your coats and walking out the door. You walked side by side, his hands in his pockets and you kept yours in front of you, picking at the skin around your nails.

When you got to your place you felt your heart speed up. It seemed like this was all happening so fast.

"I just need to go and grab something really quick and I'll be right back okay? I'll just meet you in your room." Mitsuya smiled.

"Okay." You told him as he went back out the door.

As you took off your coat and went to your room, Mitsuya met Hakkai a few houses down, both your gifts in hand.

"Thanks man, I appreciate it." Mitsuya told him.

"No problem, just make sure you tell her." Hakka itold him. Mitsuya nodded before saying goodbye to his friend and making his way to you.

You paced around your room nervously, your heart pounding out of your chest while you thought about the gifts hiding in your closet.

You heard Mitsuya walk into your room, making you pause.

“Okay so, I uh- I was your Secret Santa.” He told you.

“Wait, you were?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to give you your gift in front of everyone.” He said, setting the two boxes down on your bed.

“Wait.” You said, going to your closet and grabbing the boxes that sat there.

Mitsuya looked to the boxes in your hands.

“You were..?” He trailed off.

“I was your Secret Santa.” You blushed.

You sat beside him on the bed, just close enough so your legs were touching.

“You first, but start with the small one.” Mitsuya said quickly. You switched boxes, and you gently started unwrapping the small box.

You bit your lip as you opened it, gasping when you saw what was inside.

The charm bracelet that lay there was so beautiful you could cry.

“Takashi I-” You started.

“Do you notice what the charms are?" He told you.

You examined them, smiling when you saw the music note. Your smile grew wider when you saw the thread and needle charm.

"Are these supposed to represent us Takashi?" You asked.

"Of course." He told you with a smile. "Make sure you really look at the last one okay?"

You looked at the heart closey, noticing the back had been engraved. You read it carefully, tears starting to fall down your cheeks as you did.

For my number one girl, you’re the world to me - Takashi♡

“I love it.” You choked. “Kashi... Thank you.” You wrapped your arms around him, holding him tightly. You let your lips find his cheek before pulling away.

“Anything for you love.” Mitsuya smiled. "Now open the other one."

“Okay." You smiled, unwrapping the other box. When you opened it you couldn't help but let more tears fall.

Inside was a sweater, one that looked just like your favorite one of Mitsuya's, but it was also completely different.

"You made this?" You asked. Your fingers tracing over the dark blue fabric.

"Yeah.. I uh, wanted to give you something with a more personal touch.. I know you really like that one sweater I have, so I figured I'd make you one of your own.."

"Kashi... I don't even know what to say.. This is too much.." You sniffled.

"Sweetheart you deserve so much more." Mitsuya whispered.

You hugged him again, holding him tightly as his arms went around your waist to hug you back.

"You're turn." You said, pulling away to wipe your eyes. "Same order. Small one first."

He grabbed the box unwrapping the paper. His eyes widening when he opened the box and saw the chain.

"I've been looking for a new one of these." He smiled. Inspecting the dog tag that hung from it.

He swears you could probably see his heart pound out of his chest.

For my heart, my soul, my everything. Love always, y/n♡

“Love, this is-”

“It’s totally fine if you want to take it back, I know it’s not the be-” Mitsuya grabbed you, holding you in his arms.

“Thank you." He told you. "This is perfect."

"Open your other one!" You told him, pulling away. He grabbed the other box with a smile as you sat there playing with the sleeves of your shirt.

When he opened the box, he saw a book, a scrapbook to be more exact. It had a picture of you two on the front, which made him smile.

You sat there, nervous as ever as he flipped through it. A smile on his face the entire time as he flipped through all of the memories you two have made together. A few tears left his eyes as he read the cute messages you had under each one.

You didn't even have time to react when he finished looking through it. You were once again pulled into his warm embrace.

You almost forgot how to breath when he pulled away, looking at you with his purple eyes.

"Thank you, for this, for everything." He told you.

You swear he glanced down at your lips.

You took a deep breath. This was it, time to tell him.

“Takashi I have to tell you-”

“I love you y/n.” Your eyes went wide as you heard his words over yours.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve let you finish.” He told you, his face red. “Oh god I should have kept my mouth shut, I’m so sor-”

“I love you to.” You said in a breath. “God Takashi- I love you, a lot.”

Mitsuya smiled at you, grabbing your arm and tugging you so he could pull you onto his lap. You placed your legs on either side of him, his arms going around your waist.

“You love me?” He grinned.

“So much.” You whispered before he placed his lips on yours.

The kiss completely obliterated you. It took your breath away, and made your head spin. You felt like you became whole again, not even knowing that a part of you was missing.

Mitsuya was feeling the exact same. Your lips were so soft against his, they were hot, and gentle. You had his heart in the palm of your hand, and he would completely let you destroy it if it came down it. But he hoped it never would.

You pulled away, but still let your nose graze his as you smiled, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Wow.” Mitsuya breathed.

“Yeah.” You blushed.

“If I knew I was missing out on a kiss like that, I would have told you my feelings sooner.” He told you. You laughed softly, bringing your hand to his cheek.

“When did you start having feelings for me exactly?” You asked, suddenly wondering when his feelings started.

“Honest truth?”

“Duh.” You smiled.

“I liked you as soon as you said hello to me.” Mitsuya told you. “I started falling in love with you, the first time you helped me watch Luna and Mana. I don’t know what it was, but when I saw you playing princesses with them, I swear I saw a whole future with you. The way you were with them, I just knew you were the one. I saw you in a whole new light.”

You pecked his lips softly, trying to keep the tears from falling out of your eyes.

“Now it's your turn.” Mitsuya told you.

“Well, I liked you as soon as I met you to. I mean, look at you.” You smiled. “I fell for you when- well honestly Takashi I can't even pin point when I did. One day I just looked at you, and my whole world stopped. I think it's just because you've always been so caring towards me. You always make sure to put my happiness before yours and I- I think one day it all just clicked for me. I knew you were the perfect guy for me.. ”

“And now you’re mine.” He smiled. "And I'm all yours love."

“Yeah?” You smirked. Mitsuya answered you with a kiss.

“I have one more thing for you.” He told you.

“What’s that?”

Mitsuya's hand went to his pocket. You raised your brow as he dug around for what he was looking for.

When he found it, he moved your hair behind your ear, taking off one of your earrings.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

He only smiled as he replaced your earring with another.

“Now everyone will know you're mine.” Mitsuya smiled. He grabbed his phone, making sure you could see yourself on the screen.

You smiled when you saw the earring that was identical to his.

You looked back to him. “You have all of me, you always have, and always will.”

Mitsuya attached his lips to yours again. This kiss more heated than the last.

Before you knew it, it was skin on skin, soft, yet loud, moans coming from you as Mitsuya brought you pleasure like you’ve never felt before.

It’s like he knew your body inside and out. He could play you like a fiddle.

After you both got your release, he collapsed beside you, pulling you into his chest. You immediately put your arms around his torso, nuzzling your face in his neck while he covered you both with the blanket.

“Well, I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting that to happen right away.” Mitsuya chuckled as he drew along your spine.

“But I am so damn happy it did.” You told him. He kissed your forehead lightly.

“Me to.” He told you. “You know everyone is going to be on our ass tomorrow when we go for breakfast right?”

“Yep.” You told him. “But I don’t care. Let them bug us, I finally have you.”

You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was after midnight. You looked at Mitsuya, smiling when he leaned in to kiss you again.

“Merry Christmas y/n. I love you.”

“I love you to Kashi, Merry Christmas.”

•••••

You and Mitsuya walked into Mikey's place hand in hand, smiling as you saw everyone in the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas guys!” You said happily.

“Merry Christmas… lovebirds?” Hina said with a smirk. You blushed, looking down at yours and Mitsuya's locked hands.

“A Christmas miracle!” Baji laughed.

“Can it dumbass.” Mitsuya told him, grabbing you and him each a cup of coffee. “At least I can get a girlfriend.”

“I’m happy flying solo.” Baji shrugged.

“Won’t be saying that when your 80 and alone.” Mitsuya grumbled. You almost spit out your coffee trying not to laugh.

“Well I’m happy you two finally decided to tell eachother how you feel.” Emma said with a smile. “Now when’s the wedding?”

“Emma!” You scolded. She just shrugged, sipping her coffee.

“She’s not wrong.” Draken said with a smirk. “We all know it’s headed that way anyway.”

“Shut it.” Mitsuya told him.

“Idiots.” You mumbled. “We’re surrounded by idiots."

Mitsuya laughed at your statement, wrapping his arms around you as he looked into your eyes.

“I love you.” He told you.

“I love you to.”

“Wanna know something?” He whispered into your ear.

“Tell me.”

“Out of all the Christmas gifts I could have gotten, you’re the best one.” He told you.

You smiled, your eyes glossing over. “You’re the best present I’ve gotten to.”

You pecked his lips, smiling up at him when you pulled away.

You saw your future whenever you looked at him. He kept your heart feeling full and happier than it’s ever felt.

Takashi Mitsuya had your heart and soul, you were entirely his.

[gukyi]

in the frosty air | a jjk drabble

summary: two weeks ago you and your roommate slept together. which would be fine, if you knew you both felt the same about each other. but you don’t. and now it’s christmas, and jungkook is still gorgeous and gentle and wonderful and here, and and you don’t really know what to do about that.

{college!au, roommates!au}

pairing: jungkook x reader genre: this is just an angst train tbh, but it has a happy ending! word count: 1.6k warnings: mentions of past alcohol consumption, this centers around everyone’s favorite capitalist holiday, being sad in the wintertime a/n: OHHHHHHHHHH *internet breaks* anyway yeah i’m back baby!!! here’s a little drabble to celebrate because i can’t help myself when it comes to jungkook. love me or we both go down coming soon!

“This Christmas is pretty fucking lame, isn’t it?”

You whip around at the sound of his voice. “Oh, hey. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I figured,” Jungkook chuckles, bending his head down as he crawls through the open window to join you on the fire escape. The temperature is freezing and the wind is stinging your skin, but it didn’t really feel right to be spending tonight inside. “Saw the window open. Thought you might be here.”

“Yeah. I was probably gonna head inside soon, though.” In the hopes that you would be curled up in your bedroom before Jungkook even got home. Seeing him lately has been hard. “How did your final go?”

“It was alright.” You don’t have to keep looking at him to feel Jungkook taking a seat next to you, crossing his legs over each other as he stares out into the city below you. It snowed a few days ago, and the sidewalks are still covered in that dirty slush that always lingers, wet and cold and black from car tires. Just being beside you makes your heart race, makes your chest tighten. “I was pretty stressed out about it, but then I just sort of remembered that I did my best and that was all I could do, you know?”

“That’s good.” You wish you had that mindset. You spend days studying for an exam and once it’s over, you spend days dwelling on all the things you might have gotten wrong. It’s a philosophy you apply to most aspects of your life. Why you did the thing you did. Why doing the thing you did was the worst thing you could have done. How you will recover from it. If you even will. 

Jungkook sighs. You turn to look at him, just briefly, glance at his side figure, and notice he’s wearing nothing but a giant zip-up hoodie. Isn’t he cold? “It doesn’t really feel like Christmas.”

“Yeah.” You don’t have anything else to say to that. It doesn’t. Which is a damn shame, because you and Jungkook spent the entire beginning of this month turning your tiny, two-bedroom apartment into a winter wonderland. You got a tree to put up next to your TV and decorated with the weirdest ornaments you could find. You hung up those dangly white Christmas lights on the balcony of your fire escape, the ones meant to look like icicles dripping from the metal railing. The radio has been playing nothing but Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey. And yet.

It’s not hard to wonder why this Christmas is such shit. Your spring internship fell through a week ago. Your parents rented a lake house and assumed you wouldn’t be coming with. All of your other friends have gone home already. And Jungkook, perhaps the last person in this whole goddamn city you would have wanted to spend time with, you can’t even bear to look at. 

“How did your finals go?” Jungkook asks, trying to keep the conversation going. 

“They were fine.” At least that torture is over. But living with Jungkook, seeing him every day and knowing that what you have done you can never undo--it’s endless. 

There’s silence. It’s like the two of you simultaneously have no idea and know exactly what to say. Like the words are lingering on the tips of your tongues but your lips are sealed shut. Opening them won’t be like a can of worms. It will be a dam, a waterfall of I’m sorrys and What nows. One week ago, in the heat of the night and in the haze of drink after drink, you and Jungkook made the worst mistake two roommates could ever make. 

“Are you going home this break?” You blurt out the words before you can stop yourself. 

Jungkook sighs. “I’m not sure.”

“It’s okay if you want to.” I get it. I’m not sure if I’d want to hang around and see me either. 

He shrugs. “I just haven’t decided yet.”

He knows that you’re staying. The two of you were so looking forward to spending Christmas together. Now look at you. Jungkook was the perfect roommate. Then everything changed. 

“Okay.” He’s probably just trying to figure out a way to let you down easy. 

Next to you, Jungkook rustles a hand through his pocket. “By the way, uh--I just remembered. I got you something.”

You don’t even have time to object before Jungkook is placing a small fabric box into your open palm, resting on your lap. You look down at the item, at the way your hand seems to envelop it. 

“You didn’t have to--”

“I wanted to.” Jungkook is firm in his response. “Besides, I got it a while ago. Figured now is as good a time as any to give it to you.”

There’s not really anything else to do except open it. Carefully, with trembling fingers, you pull off the lid. Inside sits a dainty silver locket resting amongst a pile of folded tissue paper. You gasp, your breath coming out in smoke in the cold winter air. 

“Oh my God, I--”

“I overheard you talking on the phone saying you wanted one,” Jungkook admits sheepishly. “I wanted to give it to you before I forgot.”

Fingers shaking from the cold, you pull the locket from the box. It dangles from its chain, a delicate little thing, barely the size of a fingerprint. Even on this hazy winter evening, it still catches the light.

For the first time tonight, you look up at him. His eyes are a swirling brown, a deep chocolate. They are unreadable. He offers a small, guarded smile your way, lips pink in the chilly air. “Thank you,” you tell him honestly. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for you. 

You can’t accept this without returning the favor. Wordlessly, you get up from the fire escape, rushing indoors for a moment as you grab your gift from your bedroom. It’s been sitting in there for at least two weeks now. You hold your hand behind your back as you make your way back to the fire escape, sitting down next to him once more. 

With a small flourish, you reveal your own present. They’re drumsticks. 

“For you,” you tell him, that same small grin on your face. “Since you’re always drumming on everything. Thought you could use something to do that with.”

Jungkook looks positively starstruck. He takes the sticks in his hands, feels the wood with his fingers, tracing over the logo at the bottom. You aren’t very well versed in the world of drum equipment, but your friend in the orchestra told you it was a good brand. 

“Wow, Y/N,” he says, mouth agape. “This is... this is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever gotten me. Thank you.”

“Always.”

And that’s the truth, isn’t it? No matter what you do, no matter what you say, you will always be there to give Jungkook what he deserves. To make his life just the tiniest bit better. Doing thoughtful things for him has never required effort on your part. There is just a part of you that will do them, because he deserves it. Because he is so gentle, and loving, and kind, and wonderful. 

You sit there for a little while longer, relishing in the brief respite of your gift exchange. It’s softened the ice, warmed the air, broken the tension. Even if only a little. But it’s enough to keep you out here, sitting next to him. It’s enough to keep you from drifting away. 

“I don’t regret that night.”

The words feel like biting wind. 

“What?” You turn to him. 

“I don’t. I’d do it again. A thousand times over.” Jungkook is resolute. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed in determination. 

“Jungkook, what happened that night--”

“Is something I’ll never forget,” he finishes. “Do you know how fucking long I had been waiting to do that? To hold you? Kiss you? To spend the night with you?”

Each syllable presses deeper into your chest, imprinting themselves on your heart. You stare back at him, too shocked to say anything at all. 

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” Jungkook adds on, quickly backtracking. “I sort of... got that message when I woke up that morning and you were gone. But I just wanted you to know that that night didn’t change anything about how I feel about you.”

Jungkook’s got it all wrong. You were the one who fucked up. You were the one whose feelings won’t change. “I thought you were the one who didn’t feel the same.”

Jungkook chuckles, this sad, forced cough. “Are you kidding? I’d do anything to relive that night. You’re my favorite person in this whole world, Y/N.”

If the weather were just a little bit warmer, if the wind wasn’t as dry, perhaps tears would fall. But instead, you blink back at him and it feels at once like your heart weighs a million pounds and nothing at all. “Me too,” you choke out. “I never want to be without you.”

Your fire escape is barely big enough for one person, let alone two, but that doesn’t stop Jungkook from reaching over and pulling you in, pressing a chilly kiss to your frozen lips, the heat of his mouth warming you up from the inside out. It’s cold tonight, yes. But Jungkook makes you feel like it’s summer all year long. 

You smile against his lips. They feel like home. They taste like peppermint lip balm and coffee and ice. 

“Do you want me to stay?” He asks. As if he was even thinking about going home anyway. 

“Yes,” you whisper back. 

It feels a lot more like Christmas now. 

“Then I’ll stay.”

↳ don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback! i missed you guys!

[deobi-scenes]

December 21st-- lee s.y.

(pt. 2 of friday the 13th)

genre | heartbreak au

word count | —

notes | Sorry for being inactive the past few months. I had too much on my plate and lost the drive to write. Hopefully, I’ll catch up and make up for it this winter. Stay safe and warm everyone! Always remember, you are loved.

———

y/n’s POV

The sun was shining, brighter than it ever was and yet, I still felt gray inside.

I was staring at my calendar for a good few minutes now. I focused my attention to the date that had hearts all over it together with the label, 'Sangyeon and Y/N Day!' 💚

" Today was supposed to be our anniversary." I quietly mumbled biting my lip; refraining myself from pouring out any unwanted emotion.

'It's just like any other day, suck it up.' I said, mentally scolding myself for acting this way.

"honey, it's time for lunch." my mom called knocking on my bedroom door making me lose my trance

"n-ne." I said breathing deep and went outside to join my mom for lunch.

" thank you for the meal." I said before digging in. Well, I sort of kept pushing my food back and forth because I didn't have any appetite at all.

" is there something wrong honey? Do you want me-"

" ani, eomma. It's fine. I'm just a bit under the weather." I weakly smiled finally eating a spoonful of rice

It was a peaceful and quiet time until my mom decided to speak up, mentioning him.

" It's almost Christmas and I still haven't heard of Sangyeon. By this time around, he would be excited putting up the decorations."

" He's just busy with his schedules mom. It's Gayo season." I explained.

I hated lying most especially to my mom but I couldn't bear to tell him that he and I broke up.

They loved him as if he was already a part of the family. They even bought him his Christmas present already.

Other than that lame excuse, I was still in denial by the fact that we already broke up.

It has already been a month but my heart and mind cannot accept the fact that we were over.

"oh, is that so? Ask him when he's free so he can help me with decorating. He's the only one with a good eye for art around here. I need to see if it's Sangyeon approved."

"n-ne. Mom, why don't I just help you instead? I mean, he might be really busy. I could just send him the pictures to see whether or not it's Sangyeon approved."

I felt my heart sink when his name came out of my mouth. Luckily, I managed to keep a straight face in front of my mom who already had her eyebrow raised at me.

"okay, whatever you say so." She said standing up and washing the used plates we just used

" I'll be in my room if you need me." I said quietly excusing myself from the table

I felt so lost right now. Yes, I was in the comfort of my own home but everything felt so foreign.

Finally lying on my bed and staring up in my ceiling, I plugged in my airpods and listened to some happy playlist on Spotify.

Despite the music blasting through the airpods my world still felt silent. I still felt sad.

'snap out of it, y/n. He's not coming back.'

———

Sangyeon's POV

"hyung, let's eat." Hyunjae spoke softly while knocking at the door of my room.

"I'll be out in a while."

hearing the boy sigh from the other end of the door made my heart hurt but there was nothing more painful than losing y/n.

I'm sure the pain that she was feeling was hundred times more than what I was feeling.

Finally going out of the room, I was greeted by worried and surprised faces.

Juyeon was walking behind me and gave me a pat before taking his place on the table.

" let's eat!" he finally said opening the containers of food our dorm auntie prepared for us.

It was a peaceful and quiet lunch. Nobody spoke a word but I felt their eyes glued on me.

" I'm fine, guys. I won't kill myself." I said finally putting down my spoon and looking at them.

" you are basically dead." Changmin spoke taking the used dishes from the three of us.

rolling my eyes at him, Younghoon could only look at me with his usual puppy eyes.

" what?"

" hyung, you really have to pull yourself together. Everyone is getting worried about you. Remember we have a lot of schedules until the end of the year. We don't want you getting sick. If y/n-"

the three guys looked at each other worriedly after mentioning y/n. As much as I wanted to tell them that it was fine, hearing her name made me feel at peace and rattled at the same time.

"I'll be in my room if you need me." I said to them without saying another word.

I was sitting on my bed when suddenly Haknyeon went inside together with a tub of ice cream. If I was on the mood, I could've swore I would nag at him.

" we.... just ate?" I looked at him confused

Haknyeon on the other hand was busy devouring the tub of ice cream on his lap.

" you want some?" he asked, handing over a spoon from his pocket.

" no, I'm fine. Besides, I can't eat cold things." I said scrolling through my pictures.

I stumbled upon y/n and I's picture taken during our last anniversary.

'She looks so happy.'

other than my members, y/n was my source of strength. She was just a ball of sunshine who lifted everyone's mood up. With all the positive things I could say to her, the remaining time of this day won't be enough.

———

y/n's POV

Finally having the courage to go outside, I went out and saw a bouquet in front of my doorstep. Yellow tulips - my favorite.

" I guess it's from yeonnie." my mom said walking by past me.

I smiled blankly and picked up the bouquet. I peeked inside and there was a note.

" noona,

I snooped at Sangyeon hyung's phone and saw this on his cart. It's probably for you. I know today was supposed to be your anniversary but things happened.

We all miss you. He misses you A LOT.

Anyway, I hope you like mine and Eric's little gift. See you soonest!

x Sunwoo and Eric."

I smiled at the note. Despite their crazy antics, Sunwoo and Eric never fail to lift my mood up.

I went inside and was greeted by eomma's excited voice.

"y/n look! It's Sangyeon!" she said pointing at the flatscreen tv in front of her.

As much as I didn't want to look at him right now, I had to muster up the courage to pretend that everything was fine.

" The B, you have waited for a long time right? Instead of singing our song 'Candles' please allow us to sing a crowd favorite. Merry Christmas." Sangyeon spoke as the background music of the song played.

---

Sangyeon's POV

" thank you for allowing me to sing this." I said to the group while waiting for our cue to go on stage.

Originally, we were supposed to sing Thrill Ride and Candles but because today was y/n and I's supposed to be anniversary, I just felt like I could do this the very least to show her how much I love her.

At first, the staff and the production were hesitant because of the mood the song set but together with the rest, we’ve managed to convince them that we’ll make it work.

“ of course hyung. We have your back, not matter what.” Kevin said giving me a reassuring smile.

“The Boyz please standby on stage.” the production staff said ushering us to the stage.

As soon as we stepped on stage, loud cheers were heard.

Before the music started, the guys looked at me and signaled that I should say something.

" The B, you have waited for a long time right? Instead of singing our song 'Candles' please allow us to sing a crowd favorite. Merry Christmas." I said waiting for the background music of the song to be played.

‘I hope you’re watching this y/n.’

——

y/n’s POV

As much as I wanted to hold it in, I just couldn’t.

the emotions I’ve kept to myself all gushed out as soon as I heard his voice.

“is everything alright sweetie?”

“ no, it’s a merry bad ending.”

[darkwritingsnshit]

Back Home

Warnings: This is going to be a dark fic. Please do not read if you’re under 18, or are uncomfortable with dark characters, noncon, kidnapping, alchol mention, drug mention, death threats, asshole characters.

I absolutely hate the holidays and am not big on my family either so I’ve decided to make that everyone’s problem

Not dark this chapter but will be

Every year your family asked you to come home for Christmas and every year you found an excuse to stay put. This year when you didn’t receive an invitation you were relieved you didn’t have to make up some excuse. 

 Working on Christmas the past few years hadn’t bothered you at all, double pay meant more to you than some holiday did. This year you had a whole ten days off and you were more than content to spend it alone in some peace and quiet. 

 A heavy knock on your door pulled your attention from the cookies you were baking. Assuming it was a package you wasted no time running over to the door and opening it. Instead of a package on your doorstep, you found two people you did not have any interest in spending any time with; your brother and your ex boyfriend Steve.

 “What the hell are you doing here?” You were dumbstruck, this was the first time you’d see either man in three years. 

 “Great to see you too, long time.” Your brother pushed past you into your home, your ex following closely behind. 

 Making himself at home, your brother sprawled out on your couch, Steve poured himself some water and took a seat at your dining room table. 

 “Um, hi, what are you doing here??” You stood in the doorway with your hands up, confused as all hell. 

 “Well, since we can’t get you to come home via invitation, I figured we’d show up and bring you home ourselves.” Your brother fixed you with a smile, Steve looked a little bit less than comfortable but seemed determined to back up your brother. 

 “I’m sorry, are you going to physically put me on a plane and drag me home? You came all this way to argue with me about Christmas?” 

 “If we have to drug and drag you home we will.” Steve spoke up from his seat at the table looking amused. 

 “Yeah good luck with that shit, assholes you can both fuck off.” This was a prime example of why you didn’t see your family often, they always had to have control over your life. 

 “Look,” it was your brother's turn, “you’ve been gone for the last five Christmases, it’s time you came back. I have sleeping pills and I really don’t want you to make me use them.” 

 Your brother was an asshole, always had been. There was nobody in your family you got along with, their lifestyle not one you cared for. Once you had begun high school you began to see though the veil your family kept in place. Truly you couldn’t understand how your family was so full of themselves. With the amount of wealth they had they could make thousands of people’s lives better, feed, house, clothe people who needed it. But that was never their priority, preferring to put wealth and status first, rubbing elbows with New York’s rich and famous was more their style. 

 “Why do you want me to come back with you so badly? I’m not even allowed to get anyone gifts. Why would you want to be around me for that long?” It didn’t make sense. 

You had in fact been relieved from giftgiving duty a few years ago after you bought your niece a copy of the Communist Manifesto. Your sister had been livid, not seeming to care that it was wonderful bedtime reading for children. After that your mom contacted you and let you know that she would be purchasing presents in your name. 

 “Mom already bought everyone gifts in your name, all you have to do is show up.” Your brother wasn’t letting up. 

 “You guys don’t even like spending time with me. Why are you so insistent on this?” Every year you made up a lame excuse had finally caught up.

 “We like spending time with you,” Steve spoke up quietly. 

 “I don’t know why but mom wants you home but you’re coming home.” Your brother wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 

 “So, what, you traveled a thousand miles just to drag your little sister somewhere she doesn’t want to be?” This wasn’t happening. 

 “That’s exactly what I did, don’t be a bitch about this. Go pack a bag or I’ll pack for you, we’re only going to wait 20 minutes before we drag you back to dad’s jet.” God you hated your brother so much. Of course your father had sent him and his best friend to snatch you up. 

Your brother had in fact drugged you before to get you to do what he wanted so you didn’t want to test him. You were pissed that he brought your ex with him, even though they were best friends. Maybe he wanted some extra muscle in case you were going to make a break for it. Considering your options you began to pack a suitcase, not ready to spend any time with your horrible family. 

 “In 10 days I have to show up for work again, I don’t care what mom has to say about it.” You pulled your suitcase into the room once it was packed staring down your brother. 

 “Well I’m sure you can find someone who cares enough about your job enough to return you in 10 days. My only job is bringing you back to New York.” Your brother grabbed your suitcase and headed towards the door. 

Getting a coat and boots you followed, Steve taking your keys and locking up the house before you left. It was going to be a long ten days.

Tags:

@emberenchanted @severewobblerlightdragon​ @aemorr-5885​