#lizard (now smart): ??????

[laney-rockin]

OKAY OKAY OKAY.

I know I haven't made a whole "my thoughts on -insert star trek episode here- for a while [I've been so busy and surprisingly to me doing a sport for two weeks straight will murder any energy I have]

BUT THIS WEEK WAS THE SNW SEASON 2 FINALE AND I COULDN'T NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

FIRSTLY. Chapel, babes. GET THE FUCK OVER SPOCK HOLY FUCK. Spock, babygirl, GET THE FUCK OVER CHAPEL. You two are not soulmates, you will never be soulmates. I am tired of watching you two hold hands and look in each other's eyes while you could be GOING BACK TO THE SHIP HOLY FUCK MOVE.

SECONDLY. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! The Gorn are shown to be a highly advanced society capable of fucking WARP. What the actual fuck is SNW doing trying to push a "they're monsters that eat humans and babies" narrative. YOU MURDERED A CHILD. NO FUCKING WONDER THE GORN HATE YOU.

THIRDLY. Batel and Pike are kinda cute together I can see how they're meant to be together. Kinda weak making Batel get bitten by a Gorn but go off SNW- make some decisions. Would've been way fucking cooler to have Batel get into more action without getting bitten just so Pike can have some sad man moments. But what do I know? I'm not even out of high school, I cannot possibly fathom what is going on in these people's minds.

SPEAKING OF WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THESE PEOPLE'S MINDS- WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIPPITY FLAPPING FUCKING HELL ARE Y'ALL DOING ON A COVERT MISSION WITH SEVENTEEN MILLION LIGHTS ON YOU. THE COLONY IS BURNING AROUND Y'ALL- THAT'S ENOUGH LIGHT HOLY FUCKING SHIT IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE SEEN BY THE LIZARDS WHO YOU DECIDED ARE CANONICALLY SENSITIVE TO LIGHT DON'T WEAR FUCKING LIGHTS.

Also Chapel uselessly looking out the window to stare at the Enterprise was so fucking stupid. I get her flashlight didn't work but also like- she had an HOUR until she ran out of oxygen/life support. Where is the hustle? Personally I would be having an actual legit panic attack as I searched for a spacesuit and extra flashlight instead of just staring at the Enterprise and calling Spock's name.

ALSO [In my opinion that means nothing] THE "TO BE CONTINUED" SCREEN FUCKING SUCKED. The ending was not satisfying at all in an "I wanna see more!" kinda way. It was more of a "LET THIS "ADVENTURE" FUCKING END" kinda way.

In my opinion the only thing that saved this episode was Scotty, my role model and the biggest reason why I wanna do aerospace engineering. That man was amazing and stole the show for me, every single time we had to cut away to see Spock and Chapel be annoying I just wished I could see Scotty again. He was so fucking cool and so fucking nerdy and just the coolest man ever.

Speaking of introducing legacy characters: next season they have to bring in Bones McCoy. And I guarantee it's gonna be top-tier because SNW seems hellbent on just ruining Spock and Chapel atm. But if they touch the grumpy country doctor and don't give him and Spock the stupidest yet so in character reason for them to just start bickering like two old woman at the bazaar I will riot.

All in all- a "what the fuck was that" episode. Loved Uhura, Pelia, Scotty and everyone else but Spock and Chapel. Their actors I have no ill will towards [I think they're both super cool and I'd love to meet them someday] but I just cannot actually stand their characters in scenes together. That's just me tho!!

[crimsontroupe]

[orcelito]

Looking at stuff for my flight tomorrow & facing the fact that I won't be able to bring any knives with me... which is a Vibe Killer man it's killing my BRAND

I carry some 3 ish knives on me at all times and I'm gonna have to spend Six Days without any knives.... sad.

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.

[ancientnapdragon]

Bingge has been running himself ragged for MONTHS looking for HIS 'nice Shizun'.

What he doesn't know is that Shen Yuan transmigrated into wife #216 (the one from the sexy slime chapter...) the same night he came back and have been living his best life in the palace's library every day. He's been 'giving' his night with Bingge to the harem member who managed to sneak him in a 'Flower of Transing your Gender'.

It's kind of uncomfortable to wear a woman's clothes when he's just a totally normal straight guy, but he's FINE!! He's low enough on the totem pole that he is ignored for most of the harem drama and since he's a DUDE now he isn't pulled into any wife plots! Now he gets to study all the monsters he could ever want! Plus, just occasionally glimpsing the 'best wives' like Liu Mingyan, Sha Hauling, and Ningying is pretty cool, too!

Things are going GREAT until he passes by an upper courtyard one morning and finds a Beauty Devouring Harpy-Lizard has three wives cornered and is about to eat them! Oh no! Well, this is probably a wife plot, so Bingge will come any moment now to save them....

any moment now....

any moment....

...

WHERE is he???

Shen Yuan uses his new Beast Knowledge and his stolen body's mild cultivation to tame the lizard. Turns out it's just a juvenile and they can wean it off eating pretty women if they feed it enough regular meat! Now Shen Yuan has three women in his corner, too! They can help keep him off Bingge's radar while he stays in the palace!

Except... well... it keeps happening.

Beasts attack when Shen Yuan is nearby. Bingge doesn't show up. And then Shen Yuan has to deal with it! He's forming his own harem inside of the harem and he doesn't WANT that!!! Bingge will kill him!!!

It all comes to a head when one of the IMPORTANT wives, Ningying, is cornered by a Ravenous Rainbow Gem Tiger! Even using all of his cunning and smarts, Shen Yuan isn't sure he's going to make it! He manages to get Ningying out of there, but he's on the back ropes...

Then Bingge shows up just in time to save the day.

Oh and he looks BAD. Hair unkept, bags under his eyes, like he hadn't been eating; even with Airplane's shitty Cultivation rules the protagonist shouldn't look like this! Shen Yuan INSTANTLY starts fretting over him. Bingge doesn't seem that impressed, probably used to it by now and thinking that this is just gunna lead to The Usual Business. But he gets this little nagging feeling when Shen Yuan invites himself back to his chambers. Shen Yuan bullies him into bathing, brushes out his hair, makes him eat something, and gets him tucked all nicely into bed. And without a hint of papapa in sight!

In fact, Shen Yuan just... pats Bingge on the head and makes him promise he'll sleep and then leaves.

Bingge staring at the ceiling of his bed, taken care of, no sex expected... squints and has his 'wait a fucking minute' moment.

[solxamber]

And I Choose...

In which you pick the dorm you want to join

Part 1: Choose Us

Heartslabyul

You never thought you’d see the day when you’d be willingly moving into Heartslabyul, but here you were, standing at the entrance with your bags (and Grim, who was loudly complaining about the lack of a tuna fountain).

Riddle was the first to greet you, looking as composed as ever. “Welcome to Heartslabyul,” he said, hands clasped behind his back. His voice was formal, but the slight upward twitch of his lips betrayed his excitement. “I trust you’ll follow the rules properly now that you’re part of this dorm.”

Before you could respond, Trey appeared beside him, looking far more relaxed. “We’re glad to have you here,” he said with a warm smile. “I already saved you a slice of cake—figured you’d need a snack after all the chaos today.”

Bless this man. Truly.

“Say cheese!”

You barely had time to process Cater’s voice before you were blinded by the flash of his phone. “Oh my Sevens, the new dormie vibe is immaculate! This is totally going on Magicam!” He snapped another selfie, this time pulling you into the frame. “And guess what? I’m using my clones to make moving day a breeze! You’re welcome!”

True to his word, Cater’s clones were already grabbing your stuff. You stared in disbelief as three Cater clones carried a single small bag together while laughing like they were in a cheesy sitcom. Efficiency clearly wasn’t their strong suit, but at least they were trying.

And then there was Ace and Deuce. The moment you’d announced your decision to join Heartslabyul, the duo had erupted into what could only be described as the most uncoordinated, chaotic victory dance you’d ever seen.

Deuce was spinning in circles like he was trying to summon a tornado, while Ace alternated between bad breakdancing and finger guns pointed at no one in particular. “We won! We won!” they chanted, completely ignoring the way Riddle’s eye was twitching in disapproval.

“You know,” you said, watching them make absolute fools of themselves, “I think I made the right choice.”

Grim snorted from his perch on one of your bags. “You’re surrounded by idiots, henchhuman.”

“Maybe,” you said with a grin. “But they’re my idiots.”

Savanaclaw

The moment you announced that you’d chosen Savanaclaw, chaos erupted.

Jack’s tail started wagging so hard it was like a propeller trying to take off. You half-expected him to lift into the air. “You won’t regret it,” he said, his usually calm voice brimming with excitement. “We’ll make sure you feel at home here.”

Ruggie wasted no time grabbing you in a headlock and giving you the noogie of a lifetime. “I knew you’d make the smart choice! You, me, and all this bribe cash—donuts for a whole year, easy! You’re officially part of the Savanaclaw hustle now!”

“Ruggie, I swear, if you ruin my hair—”

But the true shocker was Leona. At first, he played it cool, lounging lazily in his chair like your decision was no big deal. “Hmph, took you long enough,” he said, voice dripping with fake indifference. But then, as if he couldn’t help himself, the corner of his mouth lifted into a smug grin.

And that’s when he pulled out his phone.

“Leona, what are you doing?” you asked, watching as he sidled up to you with the confidence of a king.

“Taking a picture. Gotta rub this in a little.”

Before you could protest, he snapped a selfie of the two of you. Then, with the smoothness of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, he took another.

One went to Vil. The other went to Malleus.

The captions?

To Vil: "Looks like I win. Stay beautiful, princess."

To Malleus: "Better luck next time, lizard."

You groaned, face burning. “Leona, was that really necessary?”

“Absolutely,” he said, slipping his phone back into his pocket and smirking like the cat who caught the canary. “Welcome to the pack, herbivore.”

Despite yourself, you couldn’t help smiling. Maybe Savanaclaw wasn’t such a bad choice after all.

Octavinelle

The second you announced you were choosing Octavinelle, chaos descended faster than you could say “Mostro Lounge.”

Floyd let out an earsplitting cheer and, before you could blink, scooped you up and tossed you into the air like a beach ball.

“Shriiiimpy’s ours now!” he cackled, catching you before launching you up again like he was testing the room's ceiling height.

“Floyd, please!” you yelled, your life flashing before your eyes as you flailed. “I don’t wanna meet the Great Seven this soon!”

Eventually, Jade stepped in, placing a hand on Floyd’s shoulder. “Now, now, Floyd. Let’s not accidentally lose our new dormmate to an untimely accident. We wouldn’t want to scare them away before they’ve even unpacked.”

Floyd, grumbling, set you down but kept a firm arm around your shoulders, as if daring you to second-guess your decision.

Jade, meanwhile, adjusted his gloves with a serene smile that somehow felt a little too sharp. “Welcome to Octavinelle,” he said smoothly. “It’s wonderful to have you with us. I assure you, you’ll be treated with the utmost care here.” He looked way too pleased with himself, his gaze lingering like he was already planning your initiation.

Then there was Azul.

Azul looked like he’d just won a billion Madol jackpot. His eyes gleamed, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to break into a little dance right there in the lounge. But then, with Herculean effort, he composed himself, clasping his hands and clearing his throat.

“Well, this is certainly a wise choice,” he said, adjusting his glasses like he hadn’t just been doing mental cartwheels. “I’m honored you’ve decided to join Octavinelle. We’ll make sure all your needs are taken care of.”

But then… he slid a very familiar-looking contract across the counter.

“Of course,” Azul added with a dazzling smile, “just a small formality. You see, this document simply guarantees that you’ll remain a proud Octavinelle student until graduation—oh, and a few other things.”

You stared at the contract hoping it might spontaneously combust. “Azul. I literally just joined. Can I have a minute to breathe before I sign my soul away?”

“No rush, no rush!” Azul said, not looking remotely deterred. “Take your time. But, ah—do keep in mind that signing sooner ensures the best possible benefits…”

As Jade handed you a drink (which you were very suspicious of) and Floyd draped himself over you, already talking about all the “fun” you’d have together, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d just made a deal with the devil.

Still, as Azul's smug smile softened into something almost genuine, you decided it wasn’t the worst deal in the world.

Scarabia

The moment you announced your decision, Kalim was on you like a whirlwind.

“YOU CHOSE SCARABIA!!” he yelled, tackling you into a hug so tight you thought you might pop like a balloon. Before you could even gasp for air, he was spinning you around the common room like you were some kind of trophy he’d just won.

“This is AMAZING! We’re gonna have so much fun! Parties! Feasts! Adventures! You’re gonna love it here!” Kalim babbled, his infectious excitement making it hard to even feel dizzy despite the rapid spinning.

“Kalim,” you wheezed, clutching his shoulders, “please put me down before my life flashes before my eyes.”

“Oh, right!” he said, gently setting you down with a sheepish laugh. “I got carried away. I’m just so happy!”

As you tried to steady yourself, a much calmer—but no less relieved—voice spoke from behind Kalim.

“I’m glad you chose Scarabia,” Jamil said, his expression carefully composed, though you could see the faintest hint of relief in his eyes.

You blinked at him, surprised. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jamil replied, crossing his arms and glancing away like he didn’t want to elaborate. But after a beat, he sighed and added, “You’re one of the few people here who keeps things balanced. With you around, maybe I’ll have a chance to stay sane.”

Your heart melted a little at his quiet admission, even as Kalim jumped in again, declaring he’d throw a party that night to celebrate your move.

“Let’s get food! Music! Oh, we should decorate your room! Jamil, can we hang up those golden lanterns I found last week? And—”

“Kalim,” Jamil interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose but unable to hide the faint smile tugging at his lips, “one thing at a time. Let them breathe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the dynamic, feeling a warm sense of belonging already. Scarabia might be a lot, but it felt like home.

Pomefiore

The second you announced your decision, Epel let out a laugh so sinister it would’ve sent chills down a villain’s spine. “HA! TAKE THAT, EVERYONE ELSE!” he shouted, whipping out his phone to snap a selfie with you.

Of course, Rook popped into the frame with perfect timing, striking an overly dramatic pose as Epel sent the picture straight to the first-year chat. “VICTORY IS OURS!” was the only caption needed.

Before you could even blink, Rook had swooped in, bowing theatrically. “Ah, mon cher, your choice has blessed us with the most magnifique triumph! Let us celebrate with a dance!”

You barely had time to protest before he twirled you around the room like you were in some period drama. His excitement was so contagious you almost didn’t notice when he dipped you dramatically—until you felt yourself tipping back, only to be caught by Vil.

“Honestly, Rook,” Vil sighed, steadying you with all the grace in the world. “Do try not to give them whiplash their first day.”

He turned to you, his usual poised demeanor firmly in place, though the faint smile tugging at his lips betrayed his true feelings. “Welcome to Pomefiore,” he said, his voice soft, yet commanding. “You’ve made the right decision.”

You were about to respond when Vil, ever the perfectionist, immediately began fussing over your uniform. “Honestly, you can’t be seen like this. Your tie is uneven, and—Rook, stop standing there and help them adjust their collar properly!”

As Vil worked, meticulously fixing every little detail, you couldn’t help but notice the gleam of satisfaction in his eyes. He might’ve been playing it cool, but there was no hiding how pleased he was to have you here.

Epel and Rook, meanwhile, had started arguing about who deserved the credit for your choice, while Vil made it very clear that it was his influence that sealed the deal.

And just like that, your chaotic new life in Pomefiore began.

Ignihyde

The moment the words “I’m choosing Ignihyde” left your mouth, Idia froze like someone had yanked his power cord out. His hair flickered erratically, and for a second, you thought he might actually pass out.

“Big Brother? Big Brother!” Ortho shook him frantically, his mechanical arms making a soft whirring sound. “Stay with us! They chose us! You can’t glitch out now!”

Idia finally snapped back to reality, though his face was still pale, his hair sputtering like a dying neon sign. “W-Wait, what?! You…chose here? Are you serious? This isn’t like, a prank, right? Did Ortho bribe you?!”

“No pranks, no bribes. I chose Ignihyde,” you said, trying not to laugh at his genuine bewilderment.

He blinked rapidly, processing your words. “B-But the PowerPoint… I thought it was way too cringe. I mean, I had like, fifty slides about food optimization! Who’d find that interesting?! You were supposed to be like, ‘Ew, no thanks,’ and leave!”

“Actually, I thought it was kind of cute,” you admitted, watching as his hair flared a bright pink.

“C-CUTE?! AAHH, STOP, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!” He clutched his hoodie like his heart was going to short-circuit.

“Big Brother, calm down!” Ortho interjected, practically beaming. “They chose us! Isn’t this the best thing ever?”

Idia rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze darting anywhere but at you. “…So, uh, do you wanna, like…celebrate or something? I-I mean, I know you probably have better things to do, b-but if you wanna…play a game or something, that’d be cool.”

You smiled. “I’d love to.”

Ortho let out an excited cheer and zipped over to hug you tightly, his arms surprisingly warm. “Welcome to Ignihyde! I’m so happy you’re here! This is gonna be the best!”

As Ortho buzzed around you, already listing off all the things you could do together, you caught Idia sneaking a shy glance your way. His hair was still flickering pink, and he looked like he couldn’t believe this was real.

You weren’t sure what life in Ignihyde would bring, but if it meant seeing Idia like this—flustered, happy, and maybe a little hopeful—you knew you’d made the right choice.

Diasomnia

The moment you announced you’d chosen Diasomnia, Sebek practically burst into flames.

“OF COURSE YOU CHOSE DIASOMNIA!” he boomed, puffing up with pride. “It’s the only logical choice! With the Young Master here, there was no other dorm worthy of your presence!”

Silver chuckled softly at Sebek’s theatrics, stepping forward with a kind smile. “Welcome to Diasomnia. I’m glad you’re joining us. Let me know if you need help moving your things—I’ll be happy to assist.”

Before you could respond, Lilia appeared out of thin air, laughing like a mischievous ghost. “Ah, welcome, welcome! We’ve been expecting you…or at least, I have. Let me go fetch Malleus so he can hear the good news himself!” And with that, he vanished in a puff of green smoke, leaving you blinking at the empty spot he’d occupied seconds before.

Malleus arrived moments later, his towering presence filling the room. His emerald eyes softened as they landed on you. “I heard you’ve made your decision. Have you truly chosen Diasomnia as your dorm?”

You smiled up at him. “Yeah, I chose Diasomnia.”

The way his face lit up was unlike anything you’d ever seen. His usual composed demeanor melted into something warmer, brighter. He almost looked…giddy.

“This pleases me greatly,” he said, his voice rumbling with quiet joy. “Come. I’ll give you a proper tour of our dorm.”

You didn’t even get a chance to answer before he gently ushered you forward, beginning the grand tour of Diasomnia. Lilia popped in and out of nowhere as you walked, adding bizarre and entirely unnecessary facts.

“And over there,” Lilia said, gesturing to a decorative suit of armor, “is what I wore when I once tripped and almost spilled soup on Malleus when he was a child. Ah, good times.”

Malleus sighed but didn’t stop him. “This area is the library. Feel free to browse the shelves at your leisure. I can show you my favorite tomes later.”

“And this hallway is where Sebek shouted for the first time when he thought Malleus was missing! Nearly shattered all the windows,” Lilia added with a grin.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the whole thing feeling so surreal yet oddly comforting. Silver walked quietly beside you, throwing in the occasional useful tidbit, while Sebek followed behind, grumbling something about Lilia not taking the tour seriously.

By the time the tour ended, you felt strangely at home. The eccentricity, the warmth, the oddly familial atmosphere—it all wrapped around you like a cozy blanket.

Malleus turned to you, his expression soft but sincere. “You’ll be safe here. I’ll personally see to it.”

Lilia smirked. “Safe and well-fed. I’ll whip up something special to celebrate!”

“Please don’t,” Sebek muttered, but you just laughed, already feeling like you belonged.

Secret ending: Ramshackle

When you finally dragged yourself back to Ramshackle, you were met with Grim, lounging on the couch like he hadn't a care in the world.

"Well, henchhuman? Which dorm are we moving to? I hope you picked the one with the best tuna," he yawned, tail flicking lazily.

You slumped down next to him, groaning. "None of them."

Grim's ears perked up. "Huh? What do ya mean, none of them?!"

"I told Crowley to just fix the worst parts of this place. I’d rather stay here. Everyone’s so excited for me to join their dorm—I don’t wanna disappoint them."

Grim blinked at you, then shrugged like it didn’t matter. "Eh, as long as you're still my henchhuman, I don’t care. Besides, this place has character! And by character, I mean it’s haunted, but still."

The next day, Crowley gathered the staff and shared your decision with them. You’d half-expected him to brush off his promise, but to your utter shock, the teachers actually…pitched in.

Vargas showed up first, flexing dramatically. "Alright! Time to show these walls the power of my biceps! I’ll have this place sturdy in no time!" He started hammering away, though you were slightly concerned when he tried to patch a hole in the ceiling using a workout bench.

Trein followed, shaking his head disapprovingly. "This building is a historical relic, and it deserves proper restoration." He brought Lucius along, who mostly supervised by napping in different corners.

Crewel arrived next, snapping his gloves on. "We’re not half-assing this. Ramshackle is getting a full makeover. And you’re going to help, pup. Start scrubbing those floors. Chop, chop!"

Even Sam surprised you by popping up with a toolbox and a grin. "Can’t have my favorite customer living in a death trap, can I? Plus, a little investment in the neighborhood never hurts business!"

The repairs were chaotic but effective. You spent days dodging Vargas’ overly enthusiastic demolition attempts, enduring Trein’s lectures on historical preservation, and running errands for Crewel while he barked orders like you were a rookie in boot camp.

By the end of it, Ramshackle was almost unrecognizable. The roof no longer leaked, the walls were sturdy, and the floors didn’t creak like a ghost was stalking you (though you were pretty sure the ghosts were still there, just quieter).

Grim looked around, nodding in approval. "Not bad, huh? Maybe this place isn’t such a dump anymore."

You smiled, patting his head. "Yeah, it’s still home."

And as you settled back into your slightly less ramshackle life, you couldn’t help but feel a little grateful. Sure, your dorm might not have been the flashiest or fanciest, but it was yours. And that was more than enough.

Masterlist

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[mareastrorum]

I’m still not over Crokas getting the Stormgirdle.

Imagine you’re a dragonborn during the apocalypse. You lived in a city, then you got captured by assholes, and you were forced to work for them up until they shoved you into a cage to send you elsewhere. Like, you’re not very smart, you know that, but you know enough to be sure that this sucks. Then the nurse says actually you’re sick, you can’t go. (Actually, she whispered that you’re not sick, but for a moment, you thought maybe the patterns on your scales were bad, but it’s okay now.)

Okay, now the plan is to leave this bad place, but everyone keeps getting distracted by little animals that you haven’t seen recently. Then a fight breaks out, all your friends help you figure out what to do, there’s fingers growing out of the walls, and you manage to find a place to hide that isn’t collapsing.

After a few hours of struggling, you and your friends dig out of the ruins. Good news: all the bad guys are gone. Bad news: there doesn’t seem to be any one else here, and you only have a bit of food and water. And that one bronze dragonborn is a jerk, you’re gonna keep an eye on him. But you all agree to travel together to search for food and water.

Days go by. Just walking. You’re doing okay, but other people aren’t, especially not the kids, so you carry them and walk like a lizard. More walking. More walking.

Then, one night, when you were sleeping, you wake up because someone’s pouring water on you. It keeps happening to everyone, and it doesn’t make sense. Just water falling from the sky. You drink the water anyway like everyone else. Then you walk to the tree line and see a storm in the shape of a person walking in the distance.

The giant fucking looks at you.

It asks if you’re scared, and you can’t even attempt to lie, because it’s the size of a mountain. It asks if you’re gonna run, and you’re like, would that even work?

The mountain-sized cloud man laughs at you.

Then when he asks why you’re tired, you say you were carrying some kids, so he gives you a belt. It’s got dragon claws, which you aren’t sure how to feel about, but it’s otherwise a nice belt.

“….Belt.”

Because what the fuck else are you supposed to say?! A giant cloud gave you a belt! He made it out of mist and lightning, somehow it’s the perfect size for you, and it’s for carrying tired kids. What else would it be for?

Belt.

[avelera]

I'm not usually into modern AU but I feel like I need a double-date fic between Cait/Vi and Jayce/Viktor where the Vi & Jayce Disaster Aura kicks in and they both go from incredibly smart, competent people into macho lizard-brain failures but ONLY when they're around each other, like:

Viktor and Cait staring on in horror as, for some reason, Vi and Jayce decide now is the time for a spicy food eating competition.

Jayce: Bring it. I'm Runeterra-Mexican equivalent and I will destroy you.

Vi: Good luck, pretty boy. I'm from the undercity and we've got actual lead in our food, you're going in the ground.

(Some time later, when Vi and Jayce are both on the floor, writhing in agony.)

Viktor: Does this... always happen when they're together? What has she done to my partner? Jayce should be smarter than this!

Cait: This is pretty standard for Vi, but usually she's a lot more successful in her dumbassery. I don't know what it is about Jayce that turns everything she touches into a disaster. Some sort of psychic resonance I think. They're so much the opposite person they sort of loop back around and disrupt each other's existence.

[sludgewolf]

Rex Splode x Reader - Realization

AN: this was written for season 2 Rex, it'll be a multichapter slowburn running parallel to what's happening in the story. It got way darker than I expected so check the warnings before reading it

WARNINGS: grafic descriptions of gore, near death experience, survivors guilt, fantasy medical treatment, canon expected violence

Genre: angst, slow slow-burn, realization of feelings

Disclaimer: do not copy, repost, take or feed to AI or NFTs anything I post

Masterlist

the lizard league are B tier villains, barely worth your time, that's what the team always said when they started to act up again

nothing but childplay, practice villains even

so, why is it that against such enemies you find yourself laying in a puddle of your own blood, the oh so familiar warmth of it abandoning you in favor of the cold hard floor, life flashing before your eyes as you hear the screams of your friends around you and yet you find yourself unable to do anything about it.

You still remember when you first became one of the Guardians of the Globe

when you got notified that they were looking for new members, you didn't quite know what to feel

jittery about meeting so many other heroes? nervous about whichever tests they'll put you through? excited to be able to upgrade from back alley thugs?

maybe all at the same time

no matter how nervous you were up until that morning, it was nothing compared to the way you couldn't will yourself to stay still in midst of all the others, your fingers felt electrified, the arrowheads in your suit vibrating with your nerves and your blood rushing in your ears, muffling Robot's words as he called out the few who made it into the team

Robots voice is just as slow and monotonous as it always seemed to be, "-ing-rae, Dupl-... Trigger"

you almost miss him calling out for your name, you look around still in some kind of daze as all that were accepted cheered

the first person to approach you was Rae, you can't quite explain it, you just kinda clicked from there

you spent most of your free time together, you'd push her to explore every nook and cranny of your new base, even using your powers to make it interesting and she'd drag you to hang out with the other guardians

most of them were really fun, if not a bit too eccentric to your taste

but meeting Rex though, it was.... something

To put it simply he's an ass, always trying to be funny and a smart-ass even in the worst of times

and his ego, don't even get you started on the ego of that guy

to say that your first impression of him was the worst one could get was an understatement. After that you made an effort to interact with him the least you possibly could for the sake of the team and your own

at least, that was your plan until Robot decided to put you two together in all training exercises, having determined that your powers would work the best together

and you do hate to admit but you did combo rly well together, your projectile manipulation and his explosive coins really were a force to be reckoned with

resigned you accepted your fate and treated him as just that annoying classmate in the group project

but once you got over the first hurdle in your partnership you started to get along better than before, Rex learned you wouldn't tolerate most of his bullshit and you learned he more often than not spoke before thinking

it didn't take long before you started, not quite getting along but tolerating each other better, creating dumb combos that were more fun to put in motion than being useful during battle and even developing some banter between you two that from an outsider's point of view could be considered fighting

but that was comfortable for you, never friends but more like combo buddies

So you can't help but wonder if it was because you didn't take your training as seriously as you should that now you found yourself in such position

your breath growing weaker, you can no longer feel the heat of the crimson puddle you lay on

the pressure on your chest disappears as Komodo lifts his foot off of your rib cage before slamming back down mercilessly

you choke unable to pull the air back in your crushed lungs, you look back at the villain who just killed your best friend and know he's already done with you, you're left to this slow and agonizing death, slow enough for you to think of everything you could've done differently

things you could've done to save your friends, things you should've done to stop them

and now you're left here, unable to do any of them

you failed Rae and you failed the world

with those haunting thoughts you feel your body grow heavy, black spots cover your vision until they're all you can see, all you can feel

Not even the doctors are sure on how you survived your injuries, your ribs and lungs were smashed into nothing by Komodo, not to mention the various lasserations covering your body and the nasty concussion you suffered during the fight

some said you were lucky, others that you were a fighter through and through

you on the other hand couldn't even think of your own condition, Rae had just about every bone in her body crushed, Rex got shot straight through the head and Kate fucking died

you really were lucky, dumb stupid luck

The doctors stitching you back together, rebuilding your ribcage from goop was excruciatingly painfull, having most of your ribs replaced by metal substitutes was horrible, you felt like you were already rusting from the inside out

but you were also the first in your team to get back to your feet, the first to start physical therapy and the first to be allowed to visit the others

After much persistence you were allowed to go see Rae, she was...

she was in worst shape than you imagined, inside some kind of aquarium that worked as her all encompassing life support, from looks alone she seemed like she was hanging by a thread even here

even with the best doctors it felt like death itself loomed over Rae

The nurse accompaning you tries to take you back to your room, pleading for you to not strain your new lungs,

you force yourself to calm your breathing, not wanting to go back to the antiseptic box they've been keeping you for forever

pulling your IV pole you will yourself away from Rae's window, you wander though the hallways for a bit the nurse trying to keep your mind away from Rae

As you turn on yet another hallway in this maze of a hospital you come upon Rex's room just as his doctor is leaving

it doesn't take much convincing for both medics to let you come in to see him

you blame it on boredom but really it is that you're just that desperate for some familiar face, to see someone from the team recovering

"hey" you call out, your voice still raw from all the surgeries Rex turns to look at you, the helmet keeping his brains in tonking against the bed frame " what's with the back brace grandma?" he smiles at you you chuckle " as if you're much better than me Ms Artritis" "Ei, not fair! You're the only one here with two fingers to point" he laughs at your antics, scooting to the side to give you a place to sit on his bed

your visits become more frequent, frequent enough that he waits for you every evening

when the doctors deem that he recovered enough for walking they start scheduling your physical therapy sections together

your recoveries start to improve quickly after that, it's not long until you're discharged with a grocery list of medications and your check-up scheduled to the end of the month

But you can't keep yourself away, Rae still worries you and Rex would start talking to the walls without you here

Eve is the first to notice it, during their talks intead of gushing over the beautifull mahogani tables of a suburban mom's house Rex can't stop talking about you

she chuckles at it but prefers to let things run it's course, this Rex is much different from the one she dated, things might turn out fine

Another month passes untill Rex is finally discharged too, he wants to immediately go back to work, he has a new hand and he feels restless

which is why he jumps headfirst into the first mission Cecil offers him and get's banged up

it wasn't horrible but this is not the big come back he tought of for himself

he's so lost in thought that he's caught off guard when a voice calls him when he gets back to the base

"Already trying to dent the metal plate they put on your head grandma?"

he turns and sees you, on a tanktop that shows off the scars over your collarbones, your hair falling over your eyes but you look much healthier than the last time he saw you

you smile at him as you walk pass his figure, making your way to your room

his face grows warm, Rex open and closes his mouth unsure of what to say as he blushes

If you liked this pls reblog and comment so I know to write more like it reblogs >>> likes

[judgeitbyitscover]

Enchanted Forest Chronicles (1985-1995) by Patricia C. Wrede

Cover Art by Tim Hildebrandt*

Scholastic, Point Fantasy series published in 1995-1998**

Dealing with Dragons (1990)

Cimorene is everything a princess is not supposed to be: headstrong, tomboyish, smart - and bored. So bored that she runs away to live with a dragon - and finds the family and excitement she's been looking for.

Searching for Dragons (1992)

Cimorene, the princess who refuses to be proper, is back--but where is Kazul the dragon? That's what Cimorene is determined to find out.

Luckily--or perhaps not-so-luckily--she's got help: Mendenbar, the not-very-kingly King of the Enchanted Forest, has joined her in her quest. So with the aid of a broken-down magic carpet, a leaky magical sword, and a few buckets of soapy lemon water, they set off across the Enchanted Forest to tackle the dragon-napping and save the King of the Dragons.

Calling All Dragons (1993)

A Princess's work is never done--not even when she becomes a queen!

Princess Cimorene is now Queen Cimorene ... and she's faced with her first queenly crisis -- the Enchanted Forest is threatened with complete destruction!

Those wizards are back -- and they've become very smart. (Sort of.) They've figured out a way to take over the forest once and for all ... and what they have planned isn't pretty.

With a little help from Kazul the dragon king, Morwen the witch, Telemain the magician, two cats, and a blue, flying donkey-rabbit named -- what else? -- Killer, Cimorene might just be able to stop them.

And some people think that being a queen is easy.

Talking to Dragons (1985, revised 1995)

That's what Daystar's mother taught him...and it's a very wise lesson--one that might just help him after his mom hands him a magic sword and kicks him out of the house. Especially because his house sits on the edge of the Enchanted Forest and his mother is Queen Cimorene.

But the tricky part is figuring out what he's supposed to do with the magic sword. Where is he supposed to go? And why does everyone he meets seem to know who he is?

It's going to take a particularly hotheaded fire-witch, a very verbose lizard, and a badly behaved baby dragon to help him figure it all out.

And those good manners certainly won't hurt!

*The art for the Point Fantasy covers of Searching for Dragons, Calling All Dragons, and Talking to Dragons is uncredited; however, the style of the dragon in particular is both unique and consistent between the covers.

**as best as I can figure it.

[insertdisc5]

✨COOL THINGS I PLAYED/SAW/READ THIS YEAR, 2024!!!!!!!✨

✨MOVIS✨

Knight of Fortune was such a delight. karl's wife is dead-- he has to go to the morgue. to see her one last time. SURPRISINGLY funny given the theme, and incredibly sweet. AND you can watch it in its entirety on youtube

american fiction! incredible movie that made me think. what does it mean to tell "our stories"? what does it mean to show "representation"? how authentic can you truly be about your own lived experience? funny as hell too

if you havent seen Monkey Man, quite frankly i dont want to talk to you. dev patel i will watch whatever you make for the rest of time

the rest under the cut because this list got long

playtime by jacques tati. just slapstick. oh my god this was so goddamn funny

yeah you know it. i was very strong the whole time and then the credits hit and i started sobbing uncontrollably in the theater

challengers and i saw the tv glow are tied in first place for my favorite movie this year. incredibly funny and SO WELL EDITED. highly recommend watching it with friends so you can scream "OH NO HE DIDN'T" together

✨TV SHOWS✨

SHOGUN!!!!!! oh my god there is so much to praise in this show. the costumes! the actors! the story! how they integrated both english and japanese speakers in a realistic way! so good

korean reality shows are not fucking playing around. the editing and sets are truly top notch

✨BUUKS✨

-Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah! what if black mirror was actually good. AND centered the stories of black people. highly recommend

-Character Limit: How Elon Musk Destroyed Twitter by Kate Conger and Ryan Mac! you probably were on twitter when The Whole Thing happened. maybe you dont know the exact details like i do. what if the details were worse i also dont read non-fiction very often, surprised at how fun this was to read!

-The Chromatic Fantasy by H.A.! I've been following their work since forever, and this was a delight to read as always! THE COLORS…………. BITES BITES BITES BITES

-sad girl space lizard. hell yeah (18+ only!)

-Gritli - The Moth Diaries by Sophie Florian und Hanako Emden! this one was just so strange and fascinating. per words of the authors: "Taking on the voices of anthropomorphic animals, the authors write about labour, companionship and crushing."

✨VIDY GAMES✨

skipping balatro, splatoon side order, fields of mistria and webfishing, because you probably know about those. uuuuh

i am too stupid for Void Stranger, but My God if you're smart this game will become your favorite game ever. 2D sokoban with so many secrets

marchen line!!! nth circle never misses. the visuals here are so fun!!! the UI! the plot! the almost-automatic-censoring when you see gore, as if your mecha body took a second to load!! hell fucking yeah

"adrienne, of the devil was this year" OH WORD? THEN EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY OF THE DEVIL'S FIRST EPISODE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

life after magic! magical girls are now adults, and magic is disappearing. what now? the art is so cute, and the story was very engaging. thank you for the additional episode with [spoilers]

i started nine sols and i think i might be enough of a gamer to beat it

shadow generations game of the year no contest. thank you for your time

you can also look at my massive list of stuff i played/watched/etc here. i am not posting this whole dang thing

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

What exactly *are* the angels, in your opinion? Are they in fact Eridan's consorts? What do you think their purpose was supposed to be in the game?

ok, let's be super clear about this, the angels are NOT consorts.

Consorts are a very well-defined type of game NPC. they're drawn from the same bipedal, puppet/plushie looking base model, and always describable as a type of IRL amphibian or semi-aquatic reptile (to tie in with the genesis frog) - salamanders, iguanas, crocodiles, and turtles have all been seen. they serve as the first questgivers/exposition fairies a player will usually see (except in cases where they wake up on their moon early, in which case they might meet carapacians first), and will usually provide hints as to the player's personal quest, classpect abilities, etc.

while they aren't very smart, they can follow simple commands, and will automate building the player's house (which ultimately serves to release their grist in order to create a new universe) and take over other repetitive duties like that. knowing this about consorts, it's pretty obvious that the angels are not that, though snake consorts wouldn't necessarily be out of the question, since they would fulfill the semi-aquatic IRL reptile requirement. Still, if a player did have snake consorts, they would physically resemble and function as john's salamanders. (fwiw, i like to headcanon that eridan's consorts were indeed snakes, and that karkat's were basilisk lizards)

thus, we can conclude that angels are some auxiliary NPC, like the brains on sollux's planet, the fireflies on john's, or the hummingbirds on jade's. they're still tied in with the player's personal quest, but they aren't an underling/consort/carapacian, whose roles are more defined.

hussie describes in the book commentary that angels are literally born from Hope, and we see this in action within the comic itself, as the Hope field jake summons ends up spawning a few angels itself. we also know that the angels are the source of prophetic whispers... which don't necessarily seem to be true, except as the Hope player (whose main powerset revolves around Making Fake Things Real) can make them true. they apparently whisper about their "lord" to eridan, or the "evil wizard" to cronus, though we've never heard a firsthand source.

However, i do believe it's possible to glean what the angel prophecies actually sounded like. sollux actually provides a description of angels, while he's talking to terezi, where he explains that they're "feathery demons that paradox space uses to usher in the end". therefore, we can conclude that, despite being born of Hope, they prophecize hopeless things - the evil wizard, their lord - without necessarily prophecizing hopeFUL things, like that the Hope player is meant to rise to defeat them - that this is left for the Hope player to figure out and make real, to refute the hopeless prophecy.

Their vaguely ominous nature tracks with some other stuff in the comic - that LE is described as the "angel" of double-death, that cherubs in general are named after a type of angel, and that when they show up from jake's Hope field, the other characters (who have never seen them before) are instinctively put off and wary of them. i think they're intended to be read as embodiments of narrative impotence, counterbalancing the power of Hope's ability to warp reality itself, born from especially powerul sources of it. these sorts of dichotomies and dualities are present throughout homestuck, so i don't think it's too far-fetched.

now i'm going to get into much more speculative, headcanon-y territory, so feel free to disregard this part. Personally, i like the idea that eridan was supposed to aggro and kill his angels - just not YET.

We see from his planet that it's enveloped in this blinding white light, so bright that eridan has to wear some douchey ass shades to stand outside in. this is, in all likelihood, a Hope field, like the one Jake summons - and it's where the angels are spawning from. moreover, his land is called the land of WRATH and angels, with wrath sounding suspiciously like Rage, Hope's opposite attribute. i'm personally of the belief that, had eridan done his quest "properly," as a Prince of Hope - one who destroys Hope or destroys with Hope - he would've had to learn both how to destroy the Hope field, as well as how to quell the rage on his planet.

In other words, personally, i think his quest would've been to destroy the Hope field, which would've enraged the angels, but also - the crucial step that he missed - would've prevented them from respawning. Having displayed mastery over destroying Hope, he would've then had to USE Hope to destroy the enraged angels, which would've given him the tools he'd have needed to destroy the lord they prophecized, given another thing hussie notes Hope can explicitly do is overpower forces otherwise thought undefeatable - Hope vs. sollux's eye beams, and later, jade's green sun abilities. It's likely that, fully realized and with a good enough shot, eridan would've been able to completely bypass normal game rules like god tier immortality, or even LE's unconditional immortality. unfortunately, eridan ended up giving in to the forces of narrative impotence and hopelessness, so this was never realized.

[tarotofhope]

PAC: ❥Who is your Secret Admirer ?❥

(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile)

🤍 All dividers on this blog are provided by @uzmacchiato 🤍

Masterlist | Paid Services

Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.

⋆Pile 1⋆

Cards: High Prietess, 5 of Cups, 9 of Cups, The Moon.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 1. I think your secret admirer is someone who's very secretive and mysterious. They just won't let anybody know including you. If you're a very young person, then this person is older than you, very mature and understanding. See, I'm not getting exactly who this person could be, but mostly this person could be like a motherly figure. They currently might not be in a good phase in their life or they're someone who doesn't count their blessings, might be pessimistic even, cries over spilled milk. They also like to stay in their comfort zone and they don't like changes. They like how you're very visionary and see the bigger picture. You might be goal oriented and have a very strong will towards achieving something which this person appreciates and admires a lot. You might be working hard on a big project which might give good results in the long run and this hard work of yours is visible to this person. They might be quite the opposite of you. They might be so good at hiding their admiration, their feelings towards you, that you won't ever know, if they don't speak about it. They want their feelings to remain a secret, as I said before that they could be pessimistic, so they might be thinking of worst-case scenarios, when it comes to you knowing their feelings or even people in general, because they might be like that only, very quiet and reserved in nature.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 1.

Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼

⋆Pile 2⋆

Cards: King of Wands, 6 of Pentacles, The Fool, King of Pentacles clarified by the Ace of Swords.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 2. This person could be someone who's an higher authority figure, could be your employer, boss or senior. They're someone who helps the needy and unfortunate. They might be doing donations and charity, also because they might be financially well off. They might be very adventurous and love to travel or the work that they do might involve a lot of travelling. A very mature, driven, passionate, ambitious person they are. They might be your same age but look younger or they might be your same age but look older. This person is very clever and smart with the lizard in the King of Wands here. They might have some pets too. They are very organised but they're not stubborn and fixed, but rather very adaptable. They love to hear ideas from everyone. They see a lot of them in you, they admire your potential and your dedication to work. They can already see you reaching great heights and they'll let you know this. They learn a lot from you and they see you as a guide, a guru who certainly knows so much better. They like your ways, your tactics because they find you very creative. You might be very responsible too. Now see, there could be 2 scenarios here, for some of you, this person just wants to treat you like their own family in the long run and you'll feel that familial connection, while for the others of you, this person might see in you, a romantic long term partner, they might be thinking of marrying you and having a family with you and they're so clear about this connection in their heart but somehow they just can't gather the courage to speak about their feelings to you.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 2.

Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼

⋆Pile 3⋆

Cards: The Devil clarified by 2 of Pentacles, The Empress, 4 of Cups and 9 of Wands Reversed.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 3. This secret admirer of yours could be someone who is very dedicated to their work and are very busy most of the time. For a few handful of you, this could be a very successful person. They could also be a businessman/businesswoman. They might be the studious and scholar kind of kid. For a few of you, this connection could be related to your school or college. They crave a meaningful relationship but are mostly lonely because they are so busy in their life, maybe, for them, their work comes first but because of this, they are a self-made person too. They have a good sense of self and nobody can take them down because they've struggled a lot already to reach wherever they are now. They appreciate you for your networking skills, maybe you chitchat a lot and have a huge circle of friends. You might be more social than them and so they like you for that. They just love how you can be so open and friendly with everyone around you and they hesitate so much to do that. They might also be someone who loves children. It could be so that even though you're a social butterfly, you do not speak much with this person because maybe you both have a professional relationship, or there could be physical distance between you guys or timing issues or a misunderstanding or any other reason. It also seems to them like you have your guards up only for them and they want you to be open and friendly with them too. This pile goes more towards romantic liking but can be platonic too.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 3.

Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼

⋆Pile 4⋆

Cards: King of Cups, 3 of Swords, Justice clarified by 8 of Cups, Knight of Wands.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 4. Your secret admirer could be someone who's very emotionally mature and balanced. They do not let their emotions and past traumas take the best of them like they once did, because they could have had their heart broken earlier and that could've led to lack of confidence and self-esteem issues in them. Now, this could have been either platonic or romantic. They've walked away from it and moved on. They've learnt to see people for what they really are rather than seeing through rose colored glasses. They see an innocence in you which is very pure. They know you're not the one to break hearts but rather they feel safe around you. Now, this person could be around your age and they seem to closely know you. They could be a friend of yours or a friend of a friend, anyone that you talk to or are close with. If you're a friend then they want to be more than just friends. This pile is mostly talking about a romantic connection. They want you to feel the same sparks as them. They might even be dropping hints here and there but you're not taking those hints, while for some of you, this person is openly flirting with you. I don't see bad intentions here though. They seem genuine. They want to have a confirmation from you because you might be sending mixed signals to them. They want to be sure if you're interested too, because they're just so excited over this. They want to begin a relationship with you because they're hoping for the best.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 4.

Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼

⋆Pile 5⋆

Cards: The Hermit clarified by The World, 4 of Pentacles, Knight of Swords and The Magician.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 5. For half of my pile 5, your secret admirer could be someone who's very wise and likes their solitude. They might be a guru, coach or a teacher. They've gathered an abundance of knowledge. For the other half of you, It's talking about many people, I can see that these are mature and wise people who are seeking knowledge so it could be that, you might be a coach, guru or a teacher to these people. This is an entertainer-audience/fandom pile as well. The audience are the admirers, some secretly, some loud ones. People of this pile and their admirers are very alike, they do share some common ground. You both like to do your own thing, you've maintained strong and healthy boundaries around you. You guys are very reserved and picky. You stand firm and you're proud and happy with whatever you have and whatever you're doing. This group could be a bit impatient and impulsive, and you guys seem to react quickly and strongly to violence and injustice. This group is strongly connected to their secret admirer/s like a soul family. Your secret admirer/s want you to know that you're very good at whatever you're doing. Keep up with it because it really helps them a lot. They are there with you. They want you to know that you're so talented and loved. You don't need validation and you don't need to prove it to anybody(if you're doing this), things will eventually come to surface and you'll get what you deserve. You are the candle who does not see their own light.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 5.

Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings every Tuesday and Friday. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

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[brucewaynehater101]

Ok so ive had this idea stuck in my head for WEEKS at this point and i need to tell someone about it so im invading your asks

(ages for this au, id imagine Damians around like- 12 or 13 and Tim/JJ's like- 17)

What if a version of Damian (like from ine of the good happy batfam universes) was sent to to a universe with Joker Junior where the rest of the bats were killed by the Joker and JJ was never reacued and brought back to being Tim?

And Damian is like- terrified because he doesnt know where he is or how to get back home and then hes found by JJ.

And like- at first JJ would probably try to leave Damian but once he gets a good look at this kid baby brother, thats his baby brother- he would realize that he recognizes this kid. So he keeps him!

The only problem with that is the Joker. Now the bats are all dead (or theres circumstances preventing them from doing anything) in this universe so theres nobody around to stop the Jokers shit. And we all know that the Joker isnt above murdering or tourturing kids. (Id imagine the JJ of this universe has done stuff like that once or twice, but he doesnt like to. He's a smaller equally manical yet WAY less bloodthirsty version of the joker)

So JJ keeps Damian hidden from his "Papa" until the bats of Damians universe are able to find a way to bring him back home. In the meantime tho, Damians under JJ's care, and its terrifying, but at least he tries!

Now in my mind Joker Jr. is kinda like Jinx from Arcane with mood swings, visual and audio halucinations, so so smart but so so crazy and confused and SCARED and oh so close to finally snapping until he actually does.

And this boy that he kiddnaped rescued confuses the fuck out of him. Because Junior recognizes him from somewhere and he doesnt know why.

(I hope this all makes sense its kinda just like a word vomit lmao my lizard brain just want crazy older brother Joker Jr. [Also there isnt enough JJ content out there and that is a crime])

(Older brother JJ content??? Fuck yeah)

TW: JJ, torture, child abuse

JJ... Recognizes those glaring emerald eyes and scowling face. He doesn't know why, but it causes reality around him to pulse with uncertainty as it teters between JJ's world and someone else's. Someone Papa doesn't like.

JJ won't talk to them. He knows he's not supposed to. Papa will become angry. So Junior tears his eyes from the bird kid baby bat and turns to leave. A tsk stops him.

Another wave of familiarity crashes over JJ, but he doesn't know that child. He doesn't. He really really doesn't know him.

So, Junior should move. Papa won't he happy if JJ can't move.

Well, unless Papa is teaching JJ a lesson.

His nerves light up at the memory of cold metal tables, electric probes, and buzzing.

JJ needs to go, but that kid. He can't leave him. He also can't take him with either. He knows what happens to the kids Joker meets.

Junior would never disobey his papa, but the ever-present buzzing noise isn't a deterrent for bad behavior. With how often he's punished, it hardly matters whether JJ is being a good child or not. He's always in trouble. Instead, that buzz is a reminder that he can't be caught.

JJ is smart. He's clever and sneaky. He's also great at lying, even to bats. While he may not know why lying to the nocturnal creatures is important, he knows it's an accomplishment he's proud of.

He can hide the child from Papa! It'll be a fun game! Junior's little surprise.

Junior isn't sure what he's winning, but he knows what will happen when he loses.

Death to the bird and punishment to JJ! A great joke!

Though Junior doesn't know why the kid is a bird.

Oh well! JJ will take great care of the little bird. All he has to do is feed him and keep him hidden! It will be like all the other things JJ hides from Papa. He'll never admit it, but Junior thinks Papa is a little dumb. As long as JJ plays pretend with the older man, he'll remain unsupervised.

Anyways, JJ has more of a demented, childish voice while Tim is more analytical and serious.

Damian, to start with, doesn't recognize Tim. JJ has green hair, bleached skin, cut cheeks, and way less muscle mass. The behavior is drastically different as well (also, we're not gonna speculate any specific mental disorders for these AUs. JJ and Tim are considered different due to their characterizstions, but I don't want to put harmful connotations out there [especially since I don't have any relevant conditions to insert accurate and mindful interpretations]).

In this AU, the Bats are all dead. JJ did kill some of them, which drastically reduced his ability to recover and remember that he's Tim.

He didn't kill Damian, though. Tim also feels extremely protective of his younger siblings (Duke included). Unfortunately, they're dead in this AU :/

JJ oscillates between being terrified, peppy, silent, crying, and content at rapid rates. It takes several days for Damian to feel out some of the triggers.

The Bats from Damian's universe are trying their damned best to get there as soon as possible. Sadly, Joker finds out about Damian before then.

JJ, by this point, has bonded with the kid. That kid is HIS. He may have some slightly fucked up notions on how to show care, but he will not let anyone harm the bird (not even Papa).

So, JJ does his best joke yet. He kills Joker.

Only after killing the Joker do the other Bats show up. They offer to take JJ with them (particularly because that's Tim!!!), but he refuses. He doesn't want to go with his family. He doesn't remember them and he killed some of them.

He can't stay with them.

[prattpunk]

Is it always worth it being smart?

*Warning hypnotic language and pleasure

Some of the best subjects are highly intelligent. Their intelligence allows the words to more easily slip into their minds. Like its a problem to solve but they only end up getting lost in the words. Its OK. Their minds need a break. It takes a lot out of you being so smart. You can see the reality of the world more clearly and that makes it more scary and stressful. It makes you envious of those dumb sluts. They don't think about problems or work. They focus on what feels good and how to get it right now. They let their lizard brain take over and direct them. It sounds so nice. To be DUMB HAPPY CONTENT To just SMILE Your only care is looking hot and don't worry....you do. To just have a FUZZY mind To let your mind SLOW DOWN

Those thoughts are HEAVY

They are hard to form

It feels better to just be horny and giggle It feels better to give into your more basic needs

and giggle

To be happy, content, sexy

and giggle

It feels so much better to be dumb

It feels so much better to just want

And it gets stronger with each giggle.

Its so hard to stop those giggles.

The more you giggle the more dumb you become

The more you giggle the more you let out your inner slut

The more you giggle the more horny you become

The more you giggle the more the intelligence leaks from you

It leaks with each....

Drip, Drip, Drip you feel running down your thigh

You don't need to be smart right now

You don't need to think right now

You don't need to be in control right now

You just need to giggle and be that dumb slut

You just need to giggle and tease your needy cunt

You just need to giggle and feel the pleasure

You just need to giggle and be a good girl

Giggling and fucking yourself

You need it. You are to dumb to know other wise.

Just getting you closer and closer

The dumber you are the more you feel pleasure

The dumber you are the more you touch

The dumber you are the happier you become

The dumber you are the more you giggle

Until you are just giggling and cumming

Cumming that brain away

JUST CUM HARD NOW CUM AGAIN

So dumb, so cum drunk, such a mess

You are doing perfectly. Such a good dumb slut.

And as you calm, as the pleasure fades away....you feel that intelligence coming back. You feel your mind clear. You feel your focus, your control, your mind returning. More awake, More alert, Back to your normal self NOW.

I hope you enjoyed your break being so smart. Maybe I should make you dumb again sometime.

Smiles.