#live love and learn

[letterboxd-loggd]

Live, Love and Learn (1937) George Fitzmaurice

November 5th 2024

[dependently-und3cided]

The beauty with a book is that if you feel you've missed something you can go back.

Reread.

And find those missing details.

In reality it's very different.

You cannot change the past.

You cannot rewrite your story but you can hope that the pages ahead will now begin to make sense.

There's a reason your story is written the way it is.

Even if that is to simply grow from the chain or events you've been dealt.

The beauty of a book, your book, is that it is yours.

Whether you believe the pages are prewritten or you write them as you go.

It is your story, your beautiful complex story.

But it is yours.

[meliake]

rewatching Avatar is so weird because Sokka is literally the only thing keeping them alive and fed. He constantly is like,

'guys we're out of supplies/ we need to stop/ we're attracting too much attention with the flying bison we should walk' etc.

Like in the ´The Storm' when they're completely out of money and supplies the one to get a job in hopes of making money (he never actually gets paid, the world hates him) is Sokka.

In 'The Waterbending Scroll,' it's Sokka who's concerned about their lack of supplies when Aang sends them in a wave down the river, and is making sure they're careful with their spendibg when in town shopping.

He's also seen to catch fish and gather nuts (I know more often than not he fails to catch things on screen but it's implied he's the one that does most of the hunting and gathering)

It's like- Aang totally would have starved to death or gotten completely off track with often they're completely out of food and money

[raycatzdraws]

The true botw shrine experience. I don't think Four approves!

The full comic page and some colorful Fours can be found under the read more!

A meme redraw based on something I did in a playthrough lol. Out of arrows? Throw your sword!

I love Four so much aaAA

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[longingquiet]

DELAINEY HAYLES as Claudia

Interview with the Vampire, AMC - Series 2, Episode 6

[staticwaffles]

I'll be there when the world stops turning I'll be there when the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you

REBELCAPTAIN week | Day 4: Quotation or Lyrics -> "At the Beginning" from Anastasia (1997) (in/sp/+)

[the-purple-possum]

When I say I really want a Jason adopts tim fic, I don't mean I want him to become a parent at 19 to a teen like 2-4 years younger than him, I want Jason to meet Tim and decide that he wants Tim on his side.

I want Jason to adopt Tim as his Robin, like he decides that he wants to recruit this 15 year old that is some how the smartest and snarkiest person in Gotham. I don't want infantilised tim, I want a sorta Nani and Lilo sibling dynamic, but with a smaller age gap.

Like sure, Jason sees his little brother as some sort of soggy kitten that he must protect, but also a Tim that is very capable of looking after himself.

I want Tim to look at Jason, see Bruce back when he first donned the Cape and traffic light colours. And then in true Tim fashion decide to fix him, B was being too over protective since Red Hood showed up anyways.

Like imagine, Jason meeting Tim instead by accident when he drops in on a drug trade. Tim says some quip that throws him off his game while fighting. Jason basically losing to a very deadly fifteen year old who's not slept in 29 hours, and he thinks 'f it, I like the kid'. Then trying to recruit him consistently until Tim goes 'why tf not'.

I want enemies to caretaker, but they both think they're the caretaker

[justshipsandstuff]

The people want to see Mithrun’s second life (me, I’m people)

Inspired by this post. Mithrun having service animals is just perfect! Can’t believe I never thought of that. He always has a big team caring for him but in Melini, he needs to manage on his own at times when he’s not working and Pattadol is busy

[ejsuperstar]

Imagine you live in pelican town. The new farmer has been here a couple weeks now and seems to be settling in, except... He's picking the weirdest friend choices. Like sure it's not weird to befriend the local fisherman, especially when he has an interest in fishing himself, but you're pretty sure you've seen him rooting through the Saloon's garbage with the local homeless man. As well, he keeps harassing the poor guy who works at Joja even though you KNOW he doesn't want to be friends with him.

And since you're on the topic of weirdness, isn't it odd he seemingly runs everywhere at a full sprint? Or just... Eats entire raw fish while fishing for "energy reasons"...

...

Despite all that, it's too early to call him off putting or anything... He has been engaging in town traditions, and he's started helping out with the old community centre. He's probably like the rest of you. Someone with a few quirks, that will fit in with the valley great!

Surely he can't get any weirder... Right?

[sweetlullabyebye]

Kinda wild that Edwin realizes his love for Charles and confesses to him like, the day after. Bro is not losing time

[hoofpeet]

:]

[cheesy-two-liner]

So you know how in the show, Annabeth is a black girl? Annabeth in the books is always mentioned to not be very careful of her appearance. She has curly blonde hair that she never really takes much care of and stuff, for instance. But in the show, she has really nice braids, etc. Now mind you, annabeth ran away from home when she was 7 years old, and her stepmom is Asian in the books and canonically wasn’t the most caring to annabeth for the years they spent together. This means, to me, that show-Annabeth never had anybody to teach her how to do her hair. She gets to camp half blood at 7 little years of age and is obliviously running around with a messy head of hair that she has no idea (and also probably doesn’t really care) how to take care of. My headcanon is that some black girl from the Aphrodite cabin saw her and was like “not on my watch” and took it upon herself to both braid annabeth’s hair and to teach her how to do it herself.

I also like to think Percy 100% learns how to braid hair just for Annabeth. And she doesn’t even know it because it happens during some school year. He stepped inside a braiding salon a couple of blocks from his apartment one day and was like “hi, sorry to bother, I wanna learn how to braid my friends hair” and the ladies at the salon where enchanted with this weird kid who came out of nowhere and who would NOT stop yapping about this cute black girl at summer camp who he absolutely was in love with but none of the ladies had the heart to tell him that because he seemed oblivious to his own feelings. So they taught him for free as long as he helped around the salon. And then one day at camp, he goes to get her at the athena cabin and Annabeth is sitting in her bed with a couple of mirror and a cloud of hair all around her and Percy’s like “need a hand?” And Annabeth’s like “as if you could help, seaweed brain” and percy just goes “is that a challenge?” And he helps her part her hair which can be a pain to do by yourself and then they both sit on her bed for hours doing knotless braids (Annabeth was wholly unconvinced he knew how to do them until he started working on a section of hair and it was all she could do to not hang her mouth open in surprise). Percy wasn’t quite as fast as annabeth had gotten after so many years of doing her own hair, but with his help it took half the time it would’ve taken her alone. The other kids of the athena cabin would stare at them from the door of the cabin and proceed to hightail it out of there. The amount of gossip going around camp that day was astronomical. But the two of them were oblivious in their little hyperfixated adhd bubble. After that it became tradition, as long as he could, Percy would help Annabeth braid her hair.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

[abnomi]

the only thing keeping him alive are his cartoon physics

[vampireposter]

meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.