#literally wrote this so late

[iiep-wop]

Red Dwarf AU where both Rimmer and Lister survive the leak via stasis

981 Words, not edited at all so probably a fair amount of grammatical smeg ups, I literally wrote this as the beginning of a possible fic late at night the other day, I've got a vague idea where I want it to go but atm this is all I've got and knowing my past with keeping things updated don't expect much more any time soon 💀

Anyway enjoy :D

George McIntyre had died, he'd taken an exam and Lister had been put in stasis; generally speaking, everything was absolutely tickety boo. That was disregarding the fact that George had been brought back as a hologram, he had fainted and failed his exam an eleventh time and Lister would be brought back in eighteen months however. He'd tried to appeal to the captain in order to get Lister given a longer sentence, but to no avail. Now he only had these precious few months without the smeghead, and it was certainly not enough. Rimmer didn't actually know what Lister had done to be put in stasis, but nonetheless, he one hundred percent deserved more time.

Rimmer smiled contentedly as he pushed the maintenance trolley down the halls. Today had been a good day.

As he made his way to the next vending machine, he noticed a faint, unnerving rattling sound coming from a small corridor to the left. He frowned, pausing a moment as he craned his head to see further down the passage.

"That's rather odd... I don't actually remember there being a vending machine down here."

Petersen had told him that there was a blockage in the vending machine on the engine levels of the ship and only now was he realising that he'd been pranked. He scowled as he began to painstakingly maneuver the trolley around in the cramped corridor, how had he been so gullible as to believe Petersen of all people? The Danish moron had barely two braincells to rub together how on Io had he managed to dupe him?

The rattling seemed to get louder as Rimmer fumed in silence, cursing the thin walkways of the lower decks as the corner of the cart hit the wall with a soft thud and decided to become unchangeably stuck. Rimmer felt like sobbing. In hindsight, today had not been a good day; none of his days ever were. Again, the rattle got even louder, an awful, clanging, repetitive noise which was absolutely not helping with Rimmer's mood.

And then a thought hit him. The noise had almost certainly been annoying the engine mechanics, so if he were to fix the issue then surely they'd be grateful. He could see it now, his memoirs stating this as his defining moment which lead to his ladder of success. It would read:

"Commander A.J Rimmer began his journey as a lowly mechanic, his excellent repair job of the annoying noise in the engine room providing a one hundred percent increase in productivity and all round wellbeing of engine workers. Because of him, Red Dwarf was propelled to new feats of greatness-"

Clang

Right that was it. No more daydreaming, Rimmer was going to sort out that sound right now. His journey to greatness would finally begin.

He abandoned his jammed trolley in the hallway, grabbing a small spanner, screwdriver and notebook as he made his way towards the sound. The notebook was less necessary, but if this was the beginning of his story, he was going to make sure he documented it properly for the future generations.

All his delusions of grandeur melted away as soon as he saw the problem, he wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at but it didn't look good. The smug grin that had been plastered across his face dissapeared, replaced with, first, a look of confusion and then despair. He wasn't entirely sure who he'd been kidding when he thought that he could fix the problem, after all, he had failed the engineer exam eleven times. He wasn't even sure where the noise was coming from inside the panel but maybe if he loosened a few of the bolts it would stop.

It did not stop.

In fact it got much, much worse.

The rattle became an almighty clang as the pressure that had built up behind the panel began to rush out faster, the noise slowly building up to a crescendo. But this was not what worried Rimmer. He had already began to run before the sound started to get worse.

The trolley lay on its side from when he had leapt over it, a single wheel spinning quietly, blissfully unaware of the danger that had just fallen on the ship.

What did worry Rimmer was the scuffed old sign next to the panel that read:

"Danger! Do not under any circumstance loosen this panel, will result in death"

He had only seen this after he'd loosened the first 4 bolts, but he hoped desperately that he'd have enough time to get out of there.

Rimmer would say that he regretted not warning anyone of the soon to be lethal leak that was about to happen across the ship, but that wasn't entirely true. He only had time to save himself and he'd accepted that. Besides, really it was the others fault for not knowing that it was going to happen.

Breathing heavily, he sprinted towards the stasis chamber where Lister stood, frozen mid wave, smiling cheerily through the viewing window. With a huff of effort he heaved open the door and threw himself inside, practically landing half on top of the confused scouser.

"Rimmer? What the smeg are you doing? I just got in-"

"No time to explain, Holly, lock the door"

It took a minute for the stasis to set back in again. A terrifying, awful minute.

The chamber was cramped, only meant for the one person. The pair were pressed against each other in the space, practically nose to nose. Rimmer tried not to gag at the scent of Lister's breath as they stared uncomfortably at each other.

"Did y' really miss me that much already? I know I'm terrifyingly handsome but y' could have just asked-" Lister joked awkwardly.

"Shut up. Its not that."

And then the stasis set in, freezing them in time as the carnage began outside.

[curdledmilkk]

nine of swords for the @founders-tarot-zine

I’m so lucky to have been able to participate in a collaboration with a dear friend and muse (who wrote a beautiful fic to pair with this drawing)! So happy to create something together after all this time, and if you haven’t read her fics yet then I highly suggest checking them out.

[waitineedaname]

my inner monologue is just always thinking about ritsu way too hard

[tetzoro]

one thing about kuroo is he absolutely loves handing out halloween candy. he’s so giddy for it, like a little kid on christmas. his costumes are never super extravagant because halloween usually falls on a work night, but it’s enough to show he puts effort in and that he cares.

for every kid that comes up, he gives them candy and guesses each of their costumes. he has them all laughing and smiling when he accidentally gets an obvious costume wrong.

definitely the kind to buy the candy bowl with the animated hand inside and save it for the bigger kids. he thinks it’s so funny to see them laugh with delight when they successfully grab a piece of candy without the hand grabbing them.

and you can’t help but admire him from the sidelines. watching him engage with the community, laughing with the kids, waving at your neighbors and treating everyone with kindness and respect (and a little mischief because it is halloween after all).

[thattheater-kid]

If I had a nickel for every time I was on my period while receiving horrifically devastating news about one of my comfort streamers, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

[viridian-house]

Do you have any favorite naruto fics you’d recommend? Any pairing, complete or not, on-hiatus, gen, oneshots, anything is fine lol

I was legitimately just pruning my bookmarks the other day!! thank you so much for asking.

I don't read too much fanfic these days, and I'm picky when I do--only about grammar/punctuation and immersion though. I ship a LOT of stuff (I guess The Youth would call me a proshipper) and although I never read darkfic, I don't shy away from weirder kinks and unhealthy relationship stuff.

categorizing by pairing, if applicable. some of them are smutty, and please note that the first 3 come from FFN which doesn't have a tagging system, but there is some SA CW I'll give in advance.

KAKASAKU | my first OTP! formative fics that totally reshaped my understanding of what fanfiction could be, and how well-written chemistry can make it or break it

HOUSE OF CROWS is the quintessential kakasaku fanfic. it was written during shippuden and so is canon divergent because of that, but also tells a comprehensive story of its own right that is intriguing and well planned. excellent characterization and world building. leaves me gutted in the best way on my yearly reread.

DUTY BEFORE HONOR is another silvershine classic. I don't reread is as often as House of Crows but they are just about equal in quality. again, the chemistry between them is off the charts, and the world feels so alive.

WILL OF FIRE for me is up there with House of Crows in being essential kakasaku reading. cynchick is a multisaku champion and a wonderful storyteller. the stakes in this one are stressful, the romance tense and believable, and we once again get lovely world building and great chemistry.

ITAKISA | a pairing near and dear to me, because men who do everything wrong are so deeply relatable. they both know they don't deserve anything good ever again but they found each other!!!! ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS--

A SHARK HIDDEN INN THE LEAVES doesn't have my favorite version of Kisame, but he's plenty close enough. it's a lengthy oneshot that got me into certain *ahem* kinks. it is a very fun and wild fic that is entirely self-aware of how absurd it's being, and manages to have nothing but sincerity at the same time (and I highly recommend the author's other stories as well)

AN ORCHESTRA PLAYING ON, INSANE is a modern AU (extremely rare in my bookmarks) that absolutely tore my heart out. god is it SO much to ask for these losers to be happy?! yes, it is, and I love every moment of it

MADAMITO | a rarepair I am SUCH a sucker for that has some of the most talented authors writing for it. lots of them have ot3 elements between them and hashirama, often angsty, but stuff like that is part of the appeal for me, lol

A HANDFUL OF SKY is an unfinished fic that I genuinely think about like once a week. if it ever updates then I will be over the moon. technically hashimadamito but it hadn't quite gotten there yet

LIKE ALTARS is just such a beautiful piece of writing, mostly on madara. it is everything, that is all

BLOOD AND RIVER WATER is more mito-centric but has one of my favorite madaras of all time

YOURS ARE RATTLED BONES is another short, mito-centric but gut-wrenching piece featuring the opposite type of madara from the last one

OTHER | character-centric stuff that isn't necessarily shippy but also doesn't have a very "gen" vibe either?

A SERPENT IN THE RICE is a little series about orochimaru that makes me feel so so so many things. highly recommended

HERETIC is such a love letter to kushina, and kurama too. cannot stress enough how much I adore this one

there's a few others that I probably won't link on tumblr, mostly unhealthy and/or "problematic" smut hhfhdj but maybe I'll make a public rec list on ao3 for these different categories and stuff like that.

but yeah that's pretty much it!!! I know it's not a huge list with a lot of variety but it's what I've enjoyed over the last 15+ years in the naruto fandom.

[zmediaoutlet]

They’re loud enough coming into the motel room that Sam would feel bad for the neighbors, if this weren’t a total dirtbag no-tell. $39 a night and worth every grimy penny. Dean’s still telling him about the plot of Metalstorm. At volume.

“Dude, and then Hurok—I told you about his backstory, right? With the Two-Eyed Queen?”

“Maybe,” Sam says, dropping to the nearer bed. “I think I lost the will to live somewhere around the killer shrapnel tornadoes.”

A raspberry. Dean stows the six-pack they bought on the way back from the bar in the mini-fridge and pulls out two bottles. “Telling you, no appreciation,” he says, but he’s not pissed. He’s grinning at Sam, weirdly cheery like he’s been all day.

“What’s with you,” Sam says, accepting his beer. Dean cracks it for him with the ring, plops down on the other bed. His boots stretched out around Sam’s legs. “You’re like—a kid cracked out on birthday candy.”

“Hey, this is a good day, man,” Dean says, expansive. He waves a hand, vaguely encompassing the dingy room and Hollywood and the whole world, possibly. “Got to go to a legit movie set, met two movie stars, and the case isn’t even really a case, which means no dead guy, which means no digging up a grave, which means: we got the night off, hombre.”

He says it with the h. “Pretty sure Gerard St. James doesn’t count as a movie star,” Sam says, but it’s hard not to smile back at Dean when he’s being—ebullient, practically.

Dean grins, knows he won. “You’re not ruining this for me,” he says, pointing at Sam. Then—it’s strange, how quick—his grin dips, turns. His lower lip bitten, lopsided. “I know you wanted a—a distraction, or whatever. We can find another job. Here or we could go south maybe. TJ?” His eyebrows pop. “Could get a show.”

“Spare me,” Sam says. Dean leans forward, looking all over Sam’s face, which heats. God, Dean. So annoying Sam could kill him, but also… “Thought you wanted to go to the Hard Rock Cafe, anyway.”

A second, two. Dean finishes examining his aura or something and then his grin gets dirtier, which is impressive because Sam thought he’d found a new depth before. “Hey, we can get hard as a rock right here,” he says, and Sam rolls his eyes, says, “That doesn’t actually—work,” and Dean surges forward not fast but inevitable as plate tectonics, pushes Sam down to his back on the bed, crawls up with his knees on either side of Sam’s hips, makes Sam hold his beer wide and to the side so it doesn’t spill, grins down into Sam’s face. Purely—glad.

“Does too,” Dean says, the dingy light riming him like a halo. Sam has no idea what he’s responding to but so what. Dean takes a swallow of his beer, throat bobbing, and then takes Sam’s out of his hand so they clink together, reaches down and sets them on the carpet. Leaves Sam free to grab his hips, his waist. Familiarity of what feels like his whole life taking over. This unseating at the back of the brain, like being drunk, except he only had two at the bar and it’s really just the wild spinning reality of—being Dean’s brother. What that means, when they’re together, and things are good.

But—“I don’t need a distraction,” Sam says, sliding his hand up Dean’s stomach. No hair, just the soft warm give of his skin. Options flickering in his gut, knowing how the night’s going to go, but he wants to be sure. That Dean knows, that it’s not—

But Dean knows. Sam can’t trust that Dean knows every swirling doubt in him, especially in these days of strange terror, but on this, with this, Dean might as well be in MENSA. “Good,” Dean says, warm. He gets his hand between them on Sam’s crotch, on where he’s swelling up the denim. Sam’s hips flinch, curving up. A crooked smile, and then his tongue touching the point of his tooth. All the blood in Sam’s brain drains abruptly to where it’s needed. Dean leans down, close, so Sam can smell his beer-breath and his skin. Salt. Sam’s mouth waters and Dean looks between his eyes. Making it easy. “Wouldn’t want you distracted.”

[raiiny-bay]

:-)

[wonder-worker]

"As for the government of the kingdom, [Edward V] had complete confidence in the peers of realm and the queen."

"According to the Crowland continuator, [Elizabeth Woodville] seems to have taken the king's place in listening to his council immediately after Edward IV's death. It does appear that she expected to have some role in her son's kingship, and the Crowland continuator’s report of the letters sent to her by [Richard of Gloucester] indicates that she had good reason to expect to be able to work with him and the other councillors: 'the duke of Gloucester wrote the most pleasant letters to console the queen; he promised to come and offer submission, fealty and all that was due from him to his lord and king, Edward V, the first-born son of his brother the dead king and the queen'."

"[However], in what was Gloucester's first coup, Edward V was separated from his household and Woodville advisors. When the young king questioned the move, Buckingham was reported to have told the boy 'It is not in the business of women but men to govern kingdoms'. The blunt remark referred to the authority of Elizabeth Woodville as queen and the power she must have anticipated within the new political climate left by Edward IV's sudden death [...] While the veracity of this scene is questionable*, the words attributed to the duke no doubt seemed plausible to Dominic Mancini who believed they exemplified the popular sentiment held by men [...]."

-Dominic Mancini, The Usurpation of Richard the Third / J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Alexander R. Brondarbit, Power Brokers and the Yorkist State, 1461-1485

*One of Mancini's key sources seems to have been Edward V's own doctor, John Argentine, who attended to him in the Tower. It's very likely that he was the one who recounted this scene to Mancini, which suggests that it should probably be considered more credible than not.

[prosebushpatch]

*Gnawing on the bars of my cage because a totk roleswap au between Link and Zelda writes itself exhibit A*

Now that he needed her, could she be as fearless? No. She shook her head. Link wasn’t fearless. She knew better than anyone how much he feared letting others down. It was so severe that, way back before the Calamity, he would always eat the rock roast Daruk handed him. Though it had always given him horrid stomach aches and jaw pain, he couldn’t find it in his heart to decline Daruk’s offer, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Everyone else saw it as boldly stepping up to any challenge, but Zelda knew how much compassion and anxiety was twisted up behind Link’s motivation to swallow literal rocks. The point was, Link was not fearless. But his heart gave him the courage to overcome whatever challenge came his way.

[k-chips]

I lobe that my entire feed is currently oras based ,thank you for this gift. Alpha sapphire is my entire childhood

Always ready to bring back Oras and the divorced ecoterrorists old men

[dragoninahumancostume]

I want to see art of Tumblr as a physical space. It's a building. The popular blogs are sitting on their thrones. The hall of fame is the reception of it because departamental building. You know when you got to a building and there are sofas on one side the receptionist in front fo the door? Imagine he sofa side is incredibly big but it's actually a library, because everyone here seems to love libraries, and each book is a famous post, but they're all disorganized entirely so they randomly appear on a table of the library and someone grabs it and says "hey look at this!" and then continue to share it; sometimes they don't share it and instead put it back in the shelf but soon it appears on a table again. Each apartment is a person and each room in them is a blog they have, and if you only have one blog? Worry not! Slider curtains or magical walls, so it's technically one room but it's made perfectly to fit you. The apartment has all accommodations needed for the person (wheel chair, painkillers, pads, tampons, you name it and it's there.) and you can have your pronouns and your name written on the door and next to it a list of the things you love the most and want to talk about with people. There are pride flags inside and outside if you want to have them. Your wardrobe is whatever you want to wear for the day; Cozy pajama? Sure! Wizard robe! There you go! Victorian outfit? Lovely! Beetlejuice cosplay? Neat!

The dash is the halls. We wander around the building whenever we leave the room. When you post something, you're just saying out loud your thoughts, and if you get notes, that's just people wandering near your apartment who happen to have heard you. Likes are people literally leaving heart shaped stickers —with the paper still on— under your door with a little note saying "I heard you saying this and I liked it". Reblogs are people hearing you, then going back to their rooms and saying "Hey I heard this and I want all of you to hear it too! Also, I may have something to add to it!". Your neighbors are your mutuals, because they can hear you more easily.

In the main hall there are, like, papers hanging on one VERY big wall. The wall has written at the very top of it "POLLS" in big font. The wall is divided in "FINISHED" and "AVAILABLE". The papers on the available side come with a pen so you can vote, but no one sees you while doing so and no one will know what you said except for you.

The asks are people sending you letters under your door. Your door is uh magical so you can say if people have to sign it or if it's okay to put it anonymous. You then proceed to read the letter out loud for everyone who passes by to hear and you answer.

The drafts is you having a thought but instead of saying it out loud you write it down, and put it on a shelf with the other drafts. Every apartment has a shelf, as high or as low as the person wants it, the color and the shape and everything is to appeal the owner of the apartment.

And uh.. I think that's it for now I can't think for much else except uh

@hellsite-detective has two types of asks. The simples ones like "Hey can you find this?" "I love what you do!" are the usual letters, the other type is the people who prefer to go ask for help themselves. They knock on the door and present the evidence for the case, trusting our dear detective.

There's so many people in here... Tumblr is pretty much a city with how many buildings there are... People can go on to other buildings and wander around too and participate if they want.

The gimmick blogs have different wardrobes in their rooms. There's the main one where they go as themselves, and there's the other where they can put on costumes and change their names.

There's also a more secluded part of the city... That's where the misfits live. Bigots, transphobes, homophobes... People who we don't want to be around, so they hide in their little corner of the city. Most know better than to interact. Those who are curious put on a custom to not be seen when they wander around, and they try not to engage.

I want to continue talking about this but I don't have any more ideas right now so please continue this if you want! :)

[secondlastk]

POV: you have fucked up big time

[gregrulzok]

Love is when your DM writes you into the campaign as an NPC, then looks at you anxiously and impatiently as they wait for you to figure it out

[soutsuji]

There's an English class on Golden Age detective fiction being offered next semester but the prerequisite for it is the intro to literary study class required for all English majors (which I haven't taken because I'm in a hard STEM major and don't have much time for electives, which means that I have to be really picky with my electives and only go for stuff I like AND doesn't have an awful workload) and also even if I did have that prereq, I wouldn't be able to take the class because it's at the same time as one of my major reqs. And also I'll be in two labs next semester and one of them is pure hell so like I literally don't have the time to take more than 13 credit hours (as tempting as it is to keep up my streak of taking 17-18 every semester even though it's been like really pretty bad for my social life and hobbies). Sigh. (Pressing my hand wistfully against the glass) maybe someday they'll offer the class again

[crossbackpoke-check]

Sat politely ankles crossed hands folded please say you have more thoughts about the DC deweys. Lazarus pit cold-eyed stare pristine and bloodthirsty anyway I would love to hear any further thoughts if you have the time + energy + motivation

how i imagine you waiting for me to re-read the resurrection of ra’s al-ghul and hush vol. 1+2:

ALRIGHT. in no particular order, thoughts about the dc deweys

connor fits very well into the mold of a talia al-ghul for me; chip on his shoulder, femme fatale, deadly and precise. he’s not the loudest but he’s got a dry wit that’ll cut you!

“why is connor an al-ghul at all and not batman” well first of all he’s already got the water connection, i’m gonna go dip him into the lake a couple hours north of the pas to make him incredibly long-lived, rejuvenated and beautiful

second of all i want him to be a questionable villain/antihero because he looks evil in those pictures but like beautiful evil. you see him at a multi-million dollar soirée and he’s bored of being there wearing his “heritage” beads and jewels he originally had from a thousand years ago. he and his assassins are only here to murder the head of state who’s planning to lay a pipeline through ancestral grounds

rip brandon duhaime i simply cannot imagine you as any kind of batman. lacks the gravitas, too much of a yapper, loves his wife too much. i curse thee to be green arrow if you’re in this narrative at all

assuming connor stays with toronto, would LOVE to think about toronto as one of the sites of the lazarus pit for many reasons

(a brief aside here to say that for me personally this is interesting if connor goes to winnipeg because i think they suit him better, he’s a manitoba boy, but re: the chip on his shoulder, he’s NOT a manitoba boy. he’s from the pas and very proud of it)

a) the amount of ‘toronto is the center of the universe’ hockey creation myths i can play with & birth/rebirth/reincarnation. if you WANT to feel unhinged trying to blend hockey and comics is an ice rink not just a pool of water?

b) mr. cathal kelly i love your works!!! toronto eats its young!!! thinking about this very literally in the sense of the resurrection arc where players come to toronto and are sacrificed, give up their body, their skill, in service of the demon’s head, and lose themselves.

c) we see echos of the same narratives and styles over and over again—if i can hop over to the flyers for a second, there is of course the curse of the *8s (18 richards, 28 claude, 48 danny b, 68 nolan, 88 lindros) but ALSO the danny brière -> tk -> morgan frost celly chain. every generation a resurrection, emerging clean and new from the pit

can you just briefly hold my hand and imagine wayne gretzky as an evil ra’s al-ghul wanting to possess a new body. gretzky i’m sorry to malign you and i know you never played in toronto but you are the best player in my head to fit the idea, i’m open to other suggestions

coming BACK to green arrow dewey (i did not re-watch arrow or re-read those comics sorry) connor could also be black canary, who takes a brief dip into the lazarus pit (toronto) before getting married to oliver. i do like that narrative but because we were talking about pristine and cold-blooded i figured connor dewar head of the league of assassins was more what you were after

now that i’ve gotten through world building… choose your own adventure narratives?

hockey-ish au: connor chosen as a host for the Next One. i think the lineage of the great one -> next one -> next next one -> next one up of gretzky -> crosby -> mcdavid -> bedard is taken, BUT i can imagine that the league of old boys all have the same intentions. connor gets sent to toronto unknowingly being prepped to get body-snatched by ???? and brandon duhaime of course accidentally stumbles on the plot and they have to fight to stop it

connor assassinating people :) snapshot of the head of the league of assassins delegating which major world events they’re going to change today. would love his shark face from the gifset to have blood spattered across it, ideally.

version 1 as head of the league of assassins: brandon is one of his assassins, big strong bodyguard type. devoted to him, would lay down his life, perfectly designed for connor (lady shiva/cassandra cain-ish). connor orders for something to be done and brandon does it there for him then gently wipes the blood off his face and apologizes for being careless and getting him messy.

version 2 as head of the league of assassins: an actual plot where connor aims to assassinate SOMEONE but brandon gets in the way. they meet at odds as their respective roles (hero, leader of a crime syndicate) but are magnetically drawn together as their alter egos. eventually brandon puts together the pieces of the Big Evil and manages to (legally!-ish as much as vigilante-ism can be legal) take it down and the ending panels show a tentative friendship and recognition of potential shared goals

also, jaromir jágr is immortal. don’t know if this is relevant OR related but he is. personal hot spring lazarus pit?

um. thanks for coming to my 1.5k ted talk (including tags). what a way to moritz seider lore drop that i DID grow up a comic book nerd, lmao. thank you so much for enabling me <3 i'll be here all week thinking about which teams would get what rings in a blackest night au