#literally wont leave my brain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
isabeau voice trying to flirt with siffrin after learning who is older: haha when you were born i was. well i wasnt,
#greching origins#not maintagging this.#ok maybe a little#isat#literally wont leave my brain#he would say that. he would so fucking say that its insane. i hear it in his voice. i cant Unhear it in his voice.#someone help me
301 notes
·
View notes
Text
"The fatefields would not allow it"
[Lancer oc]
#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#monster design#creature design#oc#original character#art#lancer#oc: hydra#here he is!#the guy who wont leave my brain metaphorically#and wont leave codys literally!#updated his design some based on gm notes#dw bbygirl ill get u out of space prison
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
sam and frodo literally make me so so sick to my stomach because they love each other soooo much, it doesnt matter how you interpret that love - brotherly, romantic, friendship, etc - they love and care for each other so much aghhhh it makes me crazy
#they wont leave my brain#i wanna love someone like that fr#literally have me sobbing why why why i love them#i see them in my relationship with my sister and my best friend and my mom and everyonei love no matter who#samwise gamgee#frodo baggins#lotr#lord of the rings#the fellowship of the ring#the two towers#return of the king
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p
i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess
#my art#probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags#im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile#im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me#why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that#their entire character is meant to parallel her#there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that#🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other#there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves#🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there#the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content#and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen#and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more#appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume#.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot#i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD#anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
journey’s end au where the doctor tries to kick everyone off the TARDIS and they just go, ‘???? no?’ and won’t leave. can’t be stupid and think everyone will leave you when they won’t get out of your house.
#the doctor is simultaneously so happy about this and SO annoyed. get out of his house!!! this is his tardis!!!!#(tentoo voice) OUR tardis. (doctor voice) MY TARDIS!!!!!#rose and martha and donna and jack are literally having a girls night in the same room as this argument#sarah jane was invited but did not join them. autisms.#however mickey and her have been bonding and the doctor feels so betrayed. sarah jane is supposed to be on his side!!!#can’t even complain to the metal dog. k-9 is still busy.#(sarah jane voice) oh i should invite luke and his friends- (doctor voice) NO CHILDREN ON MY SHIP#((tentoo voice. from the other room.) OUR ship)#jack manages to sneak ianto and gwen on board before sarah jane gets the bannerman gang in simply because torchwood is easier wrangled than#literal children (not saying much)#how does gwen manage to sneak rhys on that one time? no one’s really sure. he didn’t stay on very long but it was long enough for jack to#lose a bet.#i think only jackie leaves but NOT before she and tentoo and rose have established interdimensional facetime so that she can phone her#daughter and her son-in-law and her guy-who-her-son-in-law-is-cloned-from#(doctor voice) donna i need to erase ur memories ur brain will explode otherwise (rose from across the room) hey didnt i absorb something#that would explode my brain once. i still have my memories. (donna voice) YEAH DOCTOR CARE TO EXPLAIN THAT????#donna metacrisis is solved because jack says ‘fuck it let me eat the metacrisis somehow it probably wont kill me’ and then he glows for like#a week but he’s fine.#he is literally never getting rid of any of them. get found family-ed idiot#(god wait funniest fucking thing if end of time happens here and the master’s plans are completely derailed because he gets tackled by seven#different companions. kicking him while he’s on the ground while the doctor goes D:)#doctor who#tardis family au
97 notes
·
View notes
Note
codecicle you put things on my screen that are so confusing and have no relevance to my interests but its you so i find it so very endearing. keep having so much fun and whimsy on tumblr dot com child :3
you have GOT to get on this horrible TV show dude you don't even understand. it's bad and has 0 redeemable qualities, literally my bread and butter rn. can't get enough of it
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#we have mail :]#you wanna watch house md. its sexist and racist and ableist and its written poorly and every episode makes you feel insane#its literally SOOO fucking good dude#im having fun and whimsy. my stupid little medical drama#this is so much more fun than greys anatomy. the romances are all psycho-competitive relationships#where they come up with new and interesting ways of gay sex. such as: bickering about diagnosis#and: looking a doctor in the eyes and telling him the different ways sex can kill a person#that scene wont leave my brain dude.#she just starts listing the different muscles you work out when having sex to him. at one point#after its already explained he looks at her and sees her professionally. but also cant get fucking her off his mind#she starts cornering him and explaining that core muscles are used. you feel like youre running a marathon#WHILE MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT. they dont even need 2 have sex shes gonna kill him just with the medical description#anyway i ❤️ house md. stereotypical pipeline from mcyt to this fuckin show man#/r ctntduo is exactly the same as every 'couple' in this show#<- couple in parenthesis. im not far enough 4 them 2 actually be together#and also whatevers wrong with them is MUCH funnier than romance
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
>makes a big blog decision >satisfied a few days later: >thinks about making anothe—
#ooc.#i know i literally. just went private. but my brain is on its 'make geto his own blog' bs again#'raine wont that make your problems worse' yes but also no?? i feel like. just separating them would be an easy way to not worry about#crossing wires... it would probably mean the activity on the multi drops but i feel like. thats probably ok.#& would 100% leave the multi private i think thats the best decision for it#BUT. H. maybe ill make a poll later since the worry is annoying the two separate communities/audiences#will get back to this after marinating on it at work. but any thoughts/advice are welcome ofc
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
unfortunately for everyone involved im hitting the exact right combination of summer melancholy + extreme mental illness spiral + late july/august + insomnia that makes me rewatch shadowhunters. sorry in advance
#it was the only thing that got me thru 2017 i always associate it with the second half of summer specifically..#i started watching it in march but s2b was coming out in july/august so that's why those stuck#im doing so badly. lol#i think everything just kinda came together coupled not leaving my room for anything other than my daily walk for#1.5 months and counting but oh my god. hello#im spiraling into shit i havent had to deal with in like years can i LEAVE. I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS#it's not paranoia if im literally right 🙏 this is fine. it's fine <3#it's literally FINE if i repress everything far enough it wont bother me. im sure using that as#a coping mechanism for my entire life hasn't lead to an insane backlog of horrible shit that im gonna have to deal with at some point.#at least my brain helpfully doesn't let me remember 90% of my life so ion have to worry about all that. yay♥#guys it's direeeee tv show save me. i cant even work or go riding coz the weather is so hot i constantly feel ill#MAN whatever it's fine. at least i dont have scurvy i guess#barking
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
they need to make a killing myself I can do every weekend but only on the weekends so I can get up fine on monday and go to work again
#.vent#maybe i should start drinking so i can get blackout drunk every weekend. or fuck around w sedatives or pay someone to just whack me round#the head with a sledgehammer on friday evenings and hopefully ill recover from the concussion by mondays#its not even funny what the fuck is wrong with me that i have to spend all my free time trying not to kill myself i feel so sick#im literally fine at work i guess i just dont know how to have fun or be happy or feel wanted or cared for or loved by other people#but dont have to think about that when im working so its fine 5/7 days which is pretty good. im so lonely i want to throw up#tried to leave the house got ready and everything and then burst into tears for no reason ive spent the past hour trying to talk myself#down from hurting myself and i probably wont in the next few hours but i almost certainly will before the day is up. oh well#man who fucking cares. typing this isnt making me feel any better i dont really know what to do anymore#i have a drs appt in 2 weeks for smth unrelated but maybe ill ask abt antidepressants. theres nothing specific causing this#my brain just doesnt work right.i dont even feel like a person most of the time#well nothing else to say 👍
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
not sure how i manage to be bad at making a self insert lmao, i always end up developing them into an entire OC in the end
#ramble tag#smth smth all art is self insert to a degree bc u cant help but leave pieces of urself in it#and also i have no proper self image. idk if thats bc of the identity related dissociation or what#unrelated but ive been trying to get more comfortable w the whole. roomies in the brain thing#which is hard bc reading related resources and support makes us shut down a bit so we never get more than a few sentences in lmao#thats like so dumb. i already know guys. we can read about it i promise it wont hurt!#forever thinking about the time a therapist said DID and immediately walked it back bc it was way too soon to call that lol#i still dont call it that bc its hashtag complicated#me looking at that one section of our notes app: have i met literally any of you people#i explained it to my coworkers at my first job like#''ok u know they 'there r 2 wolves inside u' thing? imagine that but many wolves. here let me draw a chart real quick-''#we took turns more back then for some reason#i miss vie. p sure theyre fine i just havent seen them in a bit.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
1 note
·
View note
Text
one of these days i'm going to kill myself
#this anxiety is not worth living with im sorry like why am i crying over the thought of having to go out during the day#always ignored when i go out apparently im not approachable idk wtf im supposed to do to seem approachable#everybody makes me nervous i wish i could say i liked meeting new ppl but my stupid brain convinces me that everybody#that interacts with me automatically hates me. i wont say ppl hate me but i can say they always want to#leave me alone after a while :/#everything makes me want to kill myself. cleaning the house. doing school work. even doing things for myself#just miserable just annoying just i don't want to do this anymore im so sick of it i literally am
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
only song ik by olivia rodrigo is jealousy jealousy but man does it hit. ive been playing it on loop for like 2hrs now lmao
#its literally me in the real bro#ICANT ICANT#the jealousy in my brain wont leave its kiLLING ME#xianrambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
If there ever comes a time in the future where I’m like “oh yeah, I think I want another dog” Just fucking shoot me. Don’t fucking let me get another dog
#I have a terrible memory and no object permanence so im scared ill forget just how fucking insane living with dogs makes me feel#and ill see a cute puppy and go 'oh maybe it wont be that bad this time :o)'#you know. like a clown#jen rambles#we've been cleaning the carpets in the house CONSTANTLY for the past weeks??????????????????????????????#either del will piss because he sees us going outside. stresses out???? because?? and pee#or annie has just been peeing randomly im guessing because of jealousy towards padme/marking#im gonna rip off all my hair and my scalp with it thank you#more like jen whines#my brain can literally not wrap itself around the fact that a 3 month old kitten knows to piss and shit in a box.#and a 2yo dog still doesnt know how to wait to be taken outside#AND LET ME SPECIFY. HE DOES. WE LEAVE THEM ALONE 8 HOURS A DAY WHEN WE WORK.#and no problem. but it happens when we're here????????????????? shoot me in the cock man
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i wish i was the opposite of things i love i have to abandon lol#not in a runner way its in a complete and utter split after awhile like i engorge myself of something and this its just a switch it my brai#to leave it everything feels wrong and force myself not to think abt it its a weird weird weird behavior i always had i just dont know why#im pretty sure theres something in my diagnosis i a chalk it up to but like im tired of being the abandoner i think#anwyas lmaooo#sorry im not a sleeze bag bf i think its more of what was love has now turned into a fear of something i have no word for#all my love eventually turns into avoidence and fear#and it doesnt even have to be particularly serious its how my brain is literally after a set amount of time#like sorry i cant look at u anymore my brain wont allow me!#trying to change tho lol#james talks
3 notes
·
View notes