#literally woke with the lyrics playing in my head

[once-delight]

oh that feel when one of your favourite songs by your favourite musical artist only exist as a single bootleg posted 16 years ago and a good amount of the lyrics are ineligible because of the recording quality 🥲

completely unrelated, here's Old Apollo by Alex Reed

[sumsumstrashbin]

𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 ~ 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✧

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 𝟗𝟓𝟎

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬����.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝?

𝐚/𝐧: 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───────

The venue was packed to the brim with fans waiting to enter and watch the battle of their favourite bands. You had taken a reserved spot at the back of the building, giving you easy access to bypass the crowd. You made your way inside through the back door, winding through swarms of musicians and crew members hurriedly preparing for their time to shine on stage. Your eyes scanned the room, looking for the subject of tonight’s interview: Sirius Black.

You eventually spotted the door you were looking for, labelled with the band’s name. You knocked without hesitation, waiting patiently for someone to answer the door. 

“Who is it?” A man inside shouted.

“Y/n L/n!” You answered back, crossing your arms.

You heard hurried footsteps thumping towards the door before it swung open, revealing the very man you were looking for. He leaned on the door frame, a cigarette hanging between his lips. He plucked it out of his mouth, leaning his head back to blow the smoke upwards.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of Miss L/n herself?” He spoke, a cocky smirk spreading across his lips.

“Did your manager not let you know that he had scheduled an interview for you?” You questioned, stepping past him and entering the dressing room.

“My manager? Oh, that guy. We fired him weeks ago.”

“Oh. Well we scheduled it last month, and I paid for this, so.” You stated, pulling your notepad and tape recorder out of your bag.

He shut the door, following you inside. “You paid to talk to me? Well, I’m honoured.”

“It’s my job. And you’re hot shit right now. Anyone would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like this.” You settled on one of the leather couches, setting your tape recorder down on the coffee table next to an ashtray full of extinguished cigarettes.

Sirius grinned with pride, taking the seat directly across from you. “I guess I am pretty hot. So are you.”

“That’s not what I meant.” You defended, flipping your notepad open to an empty page.

“But it’s what I meant.” He took another drag from his cigarette, this time not bothering to blow it away from your face. From the look on his face, it seemed like pushing your buttons was bringing him great pleasure. After a moment, he continued. “Alright, I’ll play nicely. Go ahead and ask your little questions.”

You nodded, clearing your throat and starting the recording. “As you know, I’ve already interviewed your bandmates before, so today’s questions will really focus on you. My first question is about the latest album you guys put out. What was the inspiration behind it?”

Sirius leaned back in his seat, resting an arm on the back of the sofa. “I mean, at first we were just fucking around, Writing random shit, as you can probably tell. Some of the songs were purely nonsense. Later in the album is when the lyrics actually mean something. It’s really just about life. Ups and downs, highs and lows. Things that we’ve experienced in our lives, things that we want out of life. We did a lot of collaborating on the lyrics for this one. Usually Remus and I take the lead with the songwriting.”

You jotted down his response, nodding along with his words. “What song would you say is your favourite on the album, and why?”

“If I had to pick, I love Midnight Melody. It literally came to me one night while I was sleeping, and I woke up and wrote it right away. It’s really about reminiscing on past relationships, which is pretty obvious. I’m not the best at hiding messages between the lines, so they’re pretty blatant.”

You continued to conduct the interview, asking him more about what he has planned for the future and other things about his music. Towards the end of the interview, he had succeeded in loosening you up, even sharing a laugh with you a few times.

“You’ve got quite the reputation, Sirius. What’s the wildest thing you’ve done?” You questioned, leaning in with anticipation.

Sirius chuckled, also leaning forward to lock eyes with you. “Oh, darling, you don’t want to know. I’m sure you know that some stories are better left untold.” His voice was low yet confident, sending chills down your spine. 

“Come on, Sirius. I’m sure everyone is dying to know.” You responded with a sly smile, hoping that he’d give in.

He shook his head, putting his cigarette out in the crystal ashtray between the two of you. “That’s all you’ll get out of me for today, Y/n. If you want more information, you’ll have to come see me after the show. Without the recorder.”

The tension in the air was suffocating, and his fixated gaze on you was making it hard to say no. Especially when he kept glancing down at your lips as he awaited your answer.

“I might just take you up on that offer.” You spoke after a moment, shutting off the recorder.

His grin widened as he watched you pack your things into your bag, heading for the door. He caught your wrist, drawing you back to him. “I’ll be waiting for you, Y/n. Right here, after the show.”

In the moment the interview felt so far behind you, as if it was a distant memory. Right now, all you could focus on was the way he was looking down at you, a glint of lust in his eyes.

“I’ll be here. Just make sure your bandmates aren't.” 

“Oh, I’ll make sure of it, sweetheart. And look.” He let go of your wrist, gesturing to the doorknob. “Lucky for us, the door locks.”

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───────

[ravers8fantasy]

🎶Disco kid headcanon's!!🪩

Honestly, one of the realest ones in all the circuits I fear...

ALSO HE IS 20 AND 6'3??? I thought he was 19...

Okay so turns out bro is 20 so I think he joined when he was 18 or 19

Sings proper flipping loudly in the shower, its a good thing he's good at singing

Will listen to anything, he is more of a melody person than a lyrics person

Has a drawer full of listening devices, he has like 5 pairs of headphones and so many speakers

Had a swag era in highschool (is still kinda in his swag era but remix)

Sometimes shows up to W.B.V.A meetings in full on 70s attire for fun. Im talking silk shirt and high waisted l bell bottoms

Usually catches everyone off guard as well since they are used to seeing him in more modern outfits (im basing these hcs around 2009 and perchance 2010s idk they change on my mood)

Can handle spicy food pretty well.... Even though he ate a singular taki one time and perished

I saw in his contender mode intro cutscene that his licence plate is custom made (its DISCO-1) which made me think he decorates his car

Like he has a pair of fuzzy dice hanging off the mirror in the front, has like stickers on the dashboard and has like custom made seats-

Also theres this nice looking house in the background with this music note gate, either he is rich or his parents are rich

Or is that normal for people in America to have a house like that, I live in an old af house in Scotland so I defo wouldnt know💀

His favourite color is blue, or pink, or mabye yellow and orange but then again he is a sucker for kitsch patterns-

He loves colour. Ik his ass would HATE to see maximalist antique homes turned into an all white sleek mininalist abyss

Is a beast at roller skating, has a pair of blue and yellow ones with little stars all over.

Hates roller blading tho he says 3 he cant dance properly in them which makes him sad

His hair is originally brown, saw someone at a party with buzzed bleached hair and thought it was so cool he decided to get the same thing

Does calisthenics, has been asked a bunch of questions by other boxers asking him how tf he does it

HATES furbies, had one when he was younger and he put it in a draw in his bedroom after it didnt shut up.

He woke up in the middle of the night to a voice asking to be fed and started crying, turns out it was the flippin furby inside the draw

Has the most perfect comedic timing ever, there is never a dull moment when your with Disco kid

Suprsingly doesnt mind horror films, his fave genre list would probably go 1.horror/thriller 2.Action 3.drama/romance

He was a tumbler in his high school's cheer team and did ballroom for a bit, has a bunch of trophies from cheer and competitive ballroom dancing

Loves going down to a deli and getting a sandwich, usually gets a new filling combination everytime he goes

Has the most amazing wardrobe out of all the boxers, I like to think he is like the 'lewis hamilton' of the W.B.V.A (in terms of style not boxing bless also YALL LEWIS HAMILTONS FASHION SENSE IS SO😼😼😼)

The type of guy who never shuts up when watching a film, he literally ends up narrating the whole thing

Literally never stops moving, if he is standing on the spot he will be tapping his foot or move his head to whatever beat is playing in his head

Also like as no beef or issues with any of the other boxers, some of them (Aran... Wait and perchance idk Soda and stuff yknow) might insult him and would just dance and say "ok! Thats your opinion, Not mine though I think im fabulous anyway"

Chat im giggling at this gif anyway if you see any mistakes in grammer please embarass me and call me out and I will correct it with the utmost haste😼

OK HOPE YALL ENJOYED GOODNIGHT (or good morning or uh good day or evening depending on where u are)

[tainted-liquor]

'Baby Mama.˚ *꒰ঌ✦໒꒱ * ˚.

Father!Hobie Brown x Mama!BlackFem!Reader Ingredients: Extra sugar, kisses, and tons of smiles! TWs: Dumb dad Hobie, cussing, thas it W/C: 891 A/N: You have a son🥺

It had been about 3 months since you and Hobie welcomed a tiny bundle of blue into the world. To say he was head over heels was an understatement; he was enamored. There were a couple of times where he popped a nigga with the force of a bullet train in the name of your son, Renzo, for various reasons. He popped Miles for "holding him the wrong way", judo-flipped Pav for attempting to hold the baby's hand, and absolutely smashed Miguel for even breathing too hard at his son during his nap time. He was the most adoring and doting father you had ever seen before Lil Renzie could even open his eyes.

Initially, Renzo wasn't a planned baby, as fucked up as that sounds. Hobie didn't quite believe in bringing another life form into an economy that was falling apart at every turn, rendering it impossible to live without relying on some sort of capitalist company. But by no means take this as a hint that he was in ANY capacity a deadbeat, absolutely not. He hated the idea of bringing a child into a world of pure evil but hated the idea of abandoning a human being somewhere out in the world even more and leaving all the responsibility on his mother. If the kid is his, IT'S HIS. So when he got the call that you were in labor, he dropped whatever it was he was doing.

"Yeah love, y'alright?" He cooed almost as soon as he answered the loud ringtone of his 1000 BCE phone. "Hey, so I don't wanna worry you or anything, but my water broke n' we're on our way to the...Hello?" You pulled your phone to your face to look at the screen, only to see that Hobie had hung up. You thought that maybe the call dropped and he was out on a mission, but no; Hobie was rapidly approaching your location from his watch, heaving and panting as he practically flung himself out of HQ. It took him a total of 2 minutes to seemingly appear by your side. "I'M 'ERE! IM 'ERE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENIN'-" He yelled in the middle of the hospital. From that point forward, everything was chaos.

It took several midwives and you to calm him down, and 9 doctors to wrestle him out of the delivery room when it came time for you to push. Best believe he was still there every step of the way, despite the plethora of faculty asking for him to leave the room. At the end of the day, nobody wanted beef with the 6 foot 5 tall ass punk man with the meanest resting bitch face of all time, so they miraculously left him alone and let him be present for the entire birth. And when your son was finally born, he started baby bawling right along with him. Yes, he was crying as loud as humanly possible.

"Here, sweets you hold him-...are you crying?"

"No." He muttered with his eyes literally full of tears.

From that day forward, all he ever did was spend time with his son. Whenever he went to HQ he would insist on keeping Renzo so you could "get some rest", sticking him to his back as he did idle tasks, getting into nonsensical babble wars, and helping him learn how to stick to walls. Whenever he was allowed to dress up Renzo, he had the little homie dressed down in spikes, black leather, and a mini version of whatever outfit he had on without fail. He even made him a mini version of his guitar out of some plywood, rubber bands, and spare metal. There were times when Hobie would help Renzo "play" his fake guitar, muttering some of his song lyrics in the process.

You woke up from your cat nap to hear giggles coming from Hobie and Renzo in the living room. You shuffled your way out of your bedroom to see what was happening, and instantly covered your mouth so they wouldn't realize you were there just yet. Hobie stood in the middle of the living room, arms crossed, and staring at the tiny baby on the couch. "Ah-! Don't laugh at me, young man. You need to start learning how to be a proper Spider-Man!" he 'argues' as he holds back giggles. Renzo offers him a sleepy blink and yet another fit of laughter as he falls over on his side. You silently emerge from the doorframe, picking up your son and holding him near Hobie's face.

"C'monn, he's only a baby! Tell daddy I don't need to be a Spider-man just yet" you coached with a kiss to the side of the baby face. "I need to focus on being mommy's baby!" you giggled. "Ahh, c'mon. He should be able to stick to walls already, yeah?" He snickered. You rolled your eyes as you watched Renzo practically jump from your hands to Hobie's, earning a loud laugh from your 'husband.' "See? Proper Spider-Man! Yeah, mate!" he chuckled as he held a squirming Renzo. He watched as his tiny feet kicked and danced in his red and blue "Spider-Punk" onesie Hobie knicked from his world. You watched as his small grin turned into a full grin and his waterline pricked with tears.

"Don't cry, Hobie."

"'m not."

[srslyscary]

songs // mini series

a mini series on how I would associate a song to skz members!

headcanons + small rants incoming! This isn’t based off meanings or lyrics, just instrumentals!

bang chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin

Candy ; Doja Cat

not based on the ENTIRE SONG but like.. from the timestamp 2:04 - 2:34 .. GOSH HE LOOKS LIKE THAT SONG.

IMAGINE IF HIS PARTNER WAS WITH HIM IN LIKE A SHARED HOME OR JUST IN THE STUDIO.. THIS MF WALKS IN WITH A COMPRESSION SHIRT, NO MAKEUP, AND HIS BEANIE. GODDD BAREFACED CHAN IS SO SCRUMPTIOUS.

I actually feel like on any occasion he would look like this song bc of the many different types of chan’s you get from him. obviously there’s Chan, then there’s Chris, and Christopher.

it also gives off rockstar chan in the photoshoot where he was in the bathtub with the wires and had the metal things in his mouth.. yeah this is him.

Swang ; Rae Sremmurd

Lord give this man my heart I forever bow in his presence. If I find an edit with this sound I’ll be so happy. HE LOOKS LIKE HE WOULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG WHILE WORKING OUT LKE IM SORRY.

“Hey Stay… how ya doin’?” TYPE SHIT.

It’s giving “late night drives with the windows open”… am I right or wrong???

This song gives that one blonde chan from Super intern ep. 3 I think and also chan in the oddinary trailer. SORRY NOT SORRY.

Swoon ; Beach Weather

Idk if it’s just me but this instrumental gives off chan at the beach (it’s obviously by beach weather) but aside from the artist’ name I can sort of picture his partner hand in hand while they run to the beach water and splash each other until sunset.

I also like to picture park dates. HE JUST LOOKS LIKE HE WOULD POST SCENERY PICS WITH THIS SONG.

this is like happy and calming chan, giving off those soft moments.

Messages From The Stars ; The Rah Band

i’m foive. literally that’s it. I SWEAR it gives off youngest son chan.

I also play this song in my head anytime chan does his little excited fists or anything to show he’s happy.

It just gives off silly channie.. like that one interview with Lee know where he was messing with him.. “a fiveee! A fouurrr- a threee- a— I’m sorry.” Apologies spouted when he realized Lee know was threatening him.

Dream, Ivory ; Dream, Ivory

this gives off him being up really late at the studio, and his partner calls his phone to tell him they miss him. he’s like “I miss you too, maybe even more.”

he skedaddles right on home to lay with them in bed, he’s holding them tight and giving them kisses on their head while whispering sweet nothings (god I want this)

the song is literally the same as the artist (how ironic) but like I could picture chan having dreams of sunny days with his partner and the boys. they’re all out on a grassy field having a picnic and playing with water balloons and water guns. they’re laughing and having a good time, him and lee know are probably sitting down watching them (ugh get a load of these oldies..)

West Coast ; Lana Del Rey

his partner simply woke up first and was faced with Chan’s back towards them. just running their fingers along his back one time to get a reality that he was real. that might have tickled him a big.

he turns around in his sleep, facing the other way. and now his partner could see his sleeping face. they rearranged his hair and smiled, nothing was more precious than waking up to the face of the one you love the most.

Idk I feel like this only goes well with morning scenarios… anyhoo he’s a cutie to wake up to I’m telling you.

taglist: @sixxze

[jazzysnazzys]

☆ Dating Joel would include…☆

sfw + nsfw headcannons!

having major writers block on love at first fight so takes these, my bees ♡. (literally just Joel brain rot and not proof read 😓) take care my bees! i love you all so much!

SFW

Soft mornings consisting of quiet mumbles and lazy kisses. Joel would have his arm wrapped around your frame tightly along with your head pressed against his chest. You both would sleep in. Usually, you’d both be awake very early, but none of you would dare to move. You and Joel would just enjoy the comforting presence of one another, listening to the other person breath and shift slightly to get impossibly closer to the other.

On mornings that Joel was on duty for patrol, he’d have to force himself out of under the warm covers. You’d been awake ever since you heard the sounds of his big dumb boots walking around. When Joel came over to your ‘sleeping’ body to give your forehead a goodbye peck, you urged him to stay in bed and tell Tommy to find another guy. With a chuckle, he gives you a soft kiss on your forehead, telling you to stay safe out of habit.

If you were paired with Joel on morning patrols, he’d be the one begging you both to stay in bed.

“Darlin’, Tommy can find a replacement. Don’t feel like worryin myself over your pretty little head today.” Joel grumbled into your neck, as he pulled himself closer to you, a silent plea to stay.

“I can take care of myself, Joel.” You snicker at his clingy attitude and try to peel yourself off out of his strong arms.

You both would stand in the mirror together, getting ready. Comfortable silence only broken by the sound of the faucet running, fell between you two as you both freshened up. As you slipped on your boots, he’d wrap his arms around your midriff. He would whisper sweet nothings into your ear about how beautiful you look that morning until you had to force him off of you with a laugh.

On quiet evenings with Joel, you both would almost always resort to a movie night. Joel liked to be handsy with you, claiming that your body was practically molded for him. You’d pop a bowl of popcorn on the stove before returning to him, plopping down on the couch. Joel threw his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him. As the movie progressed, Joel would rub comforting shapes onto your shoulder. You eventually fall into his lap, soft snores escaping filling the room. You woke up the next morning, puzzled on how you ended up in bed.

On evenings with Ellie, the three of you would play board games. Ellie’s favorite was UNO. Probably because she was a master, no matter who shuffled the cards.

Ellie would pridefully set down a +2 card and with a smug face, turn to Joel. “Go ooon.”

Joel would grumble something inappropriate and snatch two cards from the deck as you and Ellie snickered at the disapproving man.

“Uno!” You’d shout with a giggle as Ellie pouted. Joel would bite his cheek to prevent a grin of amusement as his turn came back around after Ellie’s. Joel made eye contact with you as he nonchalantly placed a +4 card.

You slammed your card down on the table and threw your head back in frustration. Joel covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh as you muttered multiple curses, picking up four cards.

Ellie would eventually win the game, leaving you and Joel to grovel together as the teen added another tally mark to the chalkboard, keeping score of your game nights.

Joel would enjoy rambling to you about music. You’d sit and listen, occasionally nodding your head to a point he’d make. You’d find yourself invested in whatever was spewing from his mouth. His silky, deep voice almost had you falling asleep as he talked about his guitar.

Joel loved to play his guitar for you, humming the lyrics to the song he played as you practically beamed.

NSFW

Praise, Praise, Praise. He’d be underneath you, chest heaving as you’d bounce on his length. He would grumble words of praise as your moans filled the room.

“That’s it baby, just like that—fuck. Doin’ so well f’me, sweetheart.”

When your thighs eventually gave out on you, he’d pull your body down towards his, wrapping his arms around you. He’d begin slipping himself in and out of you at an unrelenting pace. Your screams would be muffled in the crook of his neck as he whispered into your ear.

“Such a good girl, takin’ all of me so well. It’s okay baby, let go, I gotcha. God, you’re so fuckin’ tight baby—fuck.”

You’d let your release consume you first, thighs shaking as you moaned his name like it was the only word you had ever known.

You’d eventually feel the familiar warmth of him filling you up not long after, the two of you catching your breaths.

Joel didn’t exactly like to degrade you as often, he was too afraid of hurting you.

Of course he wouldn’t deny you if you ever ask for anything more aggressive, smirking and dragging you to the bed.

“Such a slut huh? Wantin’ me to punish you? Hm? You need me to ruin you, baby?”

You’d nod dumbly as he ripped your clothes to shreds.

Joel liked taking you in any place he could. The kitchen counter, the bathroom, the couch, anywhere where he could get a comfortable position with you.

Hell, you couldn’t name a place you hadn’t fucked in off the top of your head.

Joel is an ass man. Fight me.

The two of you would often go to Tommy’s weekly dinner get togethers. Joel would have to hold back a groan as you went to serve yourself food, your plump ass begging to be bent over and ruined.

His eyes would be on you all dinner, his appetite for actual food ruined. He’d blink dumbly as he didn’t realize you’d ask him a question.

“Huh? Yeah, sure darlin’.”

The entire table snickered and Tommy gave him a knowing wink.

When you both arrived home he dragged you to the bedroom, pushing you onto the bed, with a look of hunger in his eyes that you knew all too well.

“The hell you doin’ to me out there darlin’? Wearin’ these slutty, tight pants? Thinkin’ I wouldn’t notice?” Joel pats your rear with a little force behind it, tilting your head up with his other hand.

You’d bite down on your lip, holding back a smirk.

“Oh you think this is funny?” Joel spoke in a firm tone. He then aggressively pulled down your pants to your ankles, pushing your panties to the side and sinking a finger into your wet heat.

Your whimpers filled the room as he slipped another finger in. Your heat warmly accepted every finger that he slipped in.

“P-Please Joel. Need you to fill me up.” You begged.

Joel smiled as he slipped his fingers out of you and unbuckled his belt. His angry cock immediately springing up as he pulled the waistband of his boxers down under his balls.

He teased your hole with the tip of his cock before sinking in. You’d cry out, every inch stretching you out perfectly.

He’d immediately set a rough pace, making you cry out in both pain and pleasure. He’d sink his teeth into your shoulder to muffle his groans.

The sounds of skin slapping and your moans were almost pornographic as it filled your ears.

“Let go baby, let go, I got you. C’mon—oh fuck.” Joel began rubbing your clit. That’s what sent you over, your moans growing louder as Joel fucked you through your orgasm, your quivering thighs held tightly by him.

He quickly came after you, a loud groan escaping his mouth.

Joel loved to take care of you after relentlessly ruining your hole. He’d press a soft kiss to your forehead, whispering how great you were.

He’d return with a towel, cleaning up the mess you had made. You whimpered every time the rough material came in contact with your bundle of nerves.

He’d slip his shirt on your naked form, opening his arms for you as you snuggled against his chest.

He’d sigh, petting your head as you both succumbed to your sleepiness.

Before you both fell asleep, he whispered.

“I love you.”

[nostalgic-woodwind]

I'll Be There For You

CG!Husk, CG!Fat Nuggets, and Regressor!Angel

Plot: Angel has a nightmare in the middle of the night and his papa comforts him.

Request by @yourneurodivergentlady

Angel's little age: Newborn

🩷🕷🩷🕷🩷🕷🩷

TW: Mention of Valentino, diapers (100% SFW, of course—just putting out a warning in case you're not comfortable with the topic)

Original Three Baby Spiders lyrics are from Adventure Time. It Will Be Okay belongs to Helluva Boss; lyrics are edited and modified by yours truly ^^

It was a peaceful night at the Hazbin Hotel, even though Hell outside painted a different picture with its noisy, rambunctious ambiance. Everyone inside of the hotel was asleep. Even Niffty–who usually hunted for bugs to kill during this time–was sleeping peacefully. In Husk's room, the cat-demon was snoring quietly in his bed. Next to him was Angel, literally sleeping like a baby in his bedside crib. Fat Nuggets was also asleep in the spider's arms. Yep, it was all quiet and peaceful.

————

2:22 A.M.

Angel woke up from a nightmare that unfortunately involved Valentino hurting him and his pet pig. The bad dream caused Angel's headspace to drop more than it was and he immediately began to cry. Fat Nuggets woke up to the ruckus and became worried. He licked the spider's cheek to cheer him up, but it did little to make him feel better. 

"Wha- huh?" Husk grumbled as he woke up. He sat up and spotted Angel wailing. "Hey, Angel. What's wrong?"

Husk scooted over to Angel and gently picked him up, cradling him in his arms.

"What's wrong, pumpkin, hm?" Husk asked. Angel continued crying, but they lessened as his caregiver rubbed his back. "Did you have a nightmare?"

The spiderling tearfully hiccuped as he hid in Husk's shoulder.

"Shhh, shh-sh-sh-sh, it's okay. I'm here, shhh-shhhh," the cat-demon whsipered soothingly.

Husk stood up from the bed and continued comforting the baby. He then turned on the bedroom lights.

"Can I check if your padding needs changing?"

Angel nodded his head and allowed Husk to check his diaper.

"M'kay, let's get you changed and we'll see about getting you a bottle, yeah?"

Angel nodded his head and sniffled as Husk carried him over to the changing table. After grabbing a pacifier from the paci drawer and popping it in Angel's mouth, the cat-demon wiped away his tears and began to change him.

"Do you want to talk about the nightmare?" Husk asked. Angel shook his head, and Husk respected that as he continued changing him, narrating his actions so the spider knew what he was doing. The cat-demon then got an idea on how to cheer Angel up. He cleared his throat and started to sing.

Three baby spiders

Three bitty baby spiders

Were playing in the sun

The rain came down and it was no fun

La la la la loo la loo

Oh me, oh my, what should they do?

The first spider grabbed some umbrellas

The second spider played and he was happy all day

The babiest of all splashed and had a ball

They grew up very tall and lived inside a wall

Sometimes, the sun shines

even on baby spiders and you

Angel smiled and began giggling in the middle of the song, especially when Husk sang the "la la la la loo la loo" part. He loved the Three Baby Spiders song whenever he was on the younger spectrum of his headspace.

"Yeah, you like that song?" Husk cooed as he taped a fresh diaper on Angel and cleaned his paws with a fresh baby wipe. He then put Angel's pajama pants back on. "Was that silly?"

Angel continued laughing as Husk picked him back up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"M'kay, let's get you a bottle so you can go back to bed."

The last few words immediately took Angel out of his jubilant mood, and he grasped onto Husk's pajama shirt in terror. He whimpered through his pacifier and hid his face in his caregiver's shoulder.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Husk cooed as he gave a gentle bounce and rubbed Angel's back.

The baby shook his head.

"You don't want to go night-night?"

Angel shook his head again.

"Are you afraid of having another nightmare?" the cat-demon inquired, receiving a nod from his baby. "It's okay to feel scared, rebenok pauk. Nightmares are just bad dreams and will never get you in real time. If you have a scary dream again, Fat Nuggets and I will be right here to comfort you and give you all the cuddles and kisses you want."

Husk planted a kiss on Angel's forehead and carried him downstairs to the kitchen. He set the baby down on the floor so he could make a bottle for him. The spider was not happy about this and began to fuss once his bottom touched the ground.

"I know you want to keep being held, piccolo ragno, but I can't do that right now," Husk said. "I just have to make your bottle. It won't take me but a few minutes."

Husk began making Angel his favorite little drink, angel milk (without sugar, of course, because a sugar rush would ensue). As if on cue, Fat Nuggets walked into the kitchen with the spider's baby blanket. The pig handed the comfort item to Angel, who took it gratefully and cheered up again. Angel cooed happily and gave Fat Nuggets a hug. The spider then yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Is someone getting sleepy?" Husk asked once he finished making the bottle and testing the milk on his wrist to see if the drink was at the right temperature. Angel nodded again as he reached his arms out to the cat-demon. Husk picked him and Fat Nuggets up and carried them back upstairs to his room. 

Once in the bedroom, Husk turned on the bedside lamp next to his bed. He then turned on the lamp next to the rocking chair. The cat-demon then turned off the main bedroom light, leaving the lamps on. He walked back to the rocking chair and sat down. He cradled Angel on his lap. The spider snuggled in Husk's arms while he cuddled Fat Nuggets and his blankie. As Husk began rocking the chair back and forth, he removed the pacifier from the baby's mouth and replaced it with the bottle. Angel drank the milk contentedly as he rubbed his eyes again.

"There we go. You're doing such a wonderful job drinking your milk," Husk praised softly.

The next few minutes were spent with Angel humming sleepily as Husk fed him his bottle. The cat-demon soon grew sad for his baby. He wished he could be there for him all the time. However, a certain piece-of-shit overlord was always trying his hardest to keep the spider from staying here at the hotel. Husk remembered back when he used to be an overlord. Even if he was made of stone, he would never ever allow for someone to go through abuse. If he met Valentino during his overlord era, he would have ripped his antennas and wings to shreds.

Angel's exhausted coos from behind his bottle broke Husk's train of thoughts.

"I'm okay, spiderling. Papa's okay," Husk reassured. "I want you to know something. Remember when we read the Sleepytime book before bed, and the mom said to her kid that she will always be there for her? Well, that's true for you and me. No matter what happens, no matter where you are, I will always be there for you, even when you can't see me. Do you wanna know why? It's because I love you."

Husk then began to sing.

It always seems more quiet in the dark

It always feels so stark

How silence grows under the moon

Constellations gone so soon

I used to think that I was bold

I used to think power was fun

Now all my stories have been told except for one

As Husk sang that last line, he rubbed his nose against Angel's before continuing to sing. 

As the stars start to align

I hope you take it as a sign

That you'll be okay

Everything will be okay

And if the Seven Rings collapse

Although the day could be my last

You will be okay

When I'm gone, you'll be okay

And when Creation goes to die

You can find me in the sky

Upon the last day

And you will be okay

The song ended and the bottle was empty. Angel whinged because of this, but Husk soothed him by placing the pacifier back into his mouth.

"It's okay. It's all okay, now," Husk said as he continued rocking the chair.

Angel calmed down and suckled the soother as he was rocked to sleep for a few more minutes. Once Angel was out like a light, Husk stood up after checking to see if Fat Nuggets was safely secured in the spider's arms and carried them to bed. He gently laid Angel down in his bedside crib and tucked him in. He turned on the crib attachment toy and kissed Angel’s forehead before heading off to sleep himself.

[gotjacobian]

Finished the "HOT-TO-GO" translation, which I'll put under a cut. Original lyric is in italics at the top, then mandarin and (pinyin), and then [a more literal translation] and some notes on why we picked what we did.

I can be the one, I’m your new addiction 我可以成为你的，想成为你的瘾 (Wǒ kěyǐ chéngwéi nǐ de, xiǎng chéngwéi nǐ de yǐn) [I could be yours, want to be your new addiction]

It’s all in my head, but I want nonfiction 都是我的想象, 但我想要现实 (Dōu shì wǒ de xiǎngxiàng, dàn wǒ xiǎng yào xiànshí) [It's all imagination, but I want reality]

I don’t want the world but I'll take this city 我不要全球 但要拿下这城市。 (Wǒ bùyào quánqiú dàn yào ná xià zhè chéngshì. [I don't want the world, but I'll take this city]

Who can blame a girl, call me hot not pretty 不要叫我漂亮，你要叫我火辣。 (Bùyào jiào wǒ piàoliang, nǐ yào jiào wǒ huǒ là.) [Don't call me pretty, call me hot.]

Pretty direct translations. The last line is the biggest change. We dropped the first question and went for an exact translation of "You shouldn't call me pretty, you should call me hot." It keeps the beat better, and putting 火辣 (huǒ la, hot) at the end keeps the punchiness better than 漂亮 (piàoliang, pretty) would. And it comes a bit closer to actually rhyming (though I didn't really put much effort into preserving that - I think it would take a level of mastery I definitely don't have)

Baby, do you like this beat? 宝宝,你喜欢这歌吗? (Bǎobǎo, xǐhuān zhè gē ma) [Baby, do you like this song?]

I made it so you’d dance with me 我写了它好和你跳舞 (Wǒ xiěle tā hǎo hé nǐ tiàowǔ) [I wrote it to dance with you]

It's a hundred-ninety-nine degrees 是一百九十九度啊 (Shì yībǎi jiǔshíjiǔ dù a) [It's a hundred-ninety-nine degrees!]

When we’re doing it baby, doing it baby 等到我们做的时候， 我们做的时候 (Děngdào wǒmen zuò de shíhòu, wǒmen zuò de shíhòu) [By the time we do it, By the time we do it.] Numbers are one of the things I know well at this point, so I was very pleased at how closely the scansion matches across languages there. It matches too well - you fall one syllable short because of the 度(dù)/degrees swap, and really can't change anything without making the line significantly harder to sing. My gf and I went back and forth for a while about how to finish the phrase, and just ended up adding 啊which indicates an exclamation, and also works as an "ah!" for the singer to play with going into the next bit. For the last line, there's an impressively close equivalent to "doing it" as a euphemism in 做 (zuò, do or make, contextual sexual connotations fully included). Which I learned when it came up as one of the characters to memorize on a flashcard website I was using, and I got a very weird look when I asked what it meant.

Snap and crack and touch your toes 啪啪啪，触摸你脚趾 (Pā pā pā, chùmō nǐ jiǎozhǐ) [ Snap, snap, snap, touch your toes]

Raise your hands now body roll 举手现在屁股摇 (Jǔ shǒu xiànzài pìgu yáo) [Raise your hands and shake your ass now] 啪啪啪(Pā pā pā) is onomatopoeic for snapping, but ALSO has some convenient sexual connotations! And I had no idea how to get "body roll" , so went with the more vulgar, but also more easily translated, 现在屁股摇 ( xiànzài pìgu yáo, "now shake your ass". 屁股 is one of the words I already knew how to translate, because I went to middle school with a lot of kids who spoke chinese.)

Dance it out, we’re hot-to-go 通宵开门打包带走 (Tōngxiāo kāimén dǎbāo dài zǒu) [Open all night 'for takeaway']

H-O-T-T-O-G-O You can take me hot-to-go 可以把我打包带走 (Kěyǐ bǎ wǒ dǎbāo dài zǒu) [You can have me 'for takeaway']

We kept the spelling, and I think an "actual" translation/cover would too. I am very pleased with the swap of "dance it out" for something that's the equivalent of a shop window "open 24 hours" sign, also. And then, of course. "打包带走" (dǎbāo dài zǒu) literally means " wrapped up like a dumpling and taken away" and practically means "as takeout", and we put that in anywhere "hot-to-go" shows up in the original song.

I woke up alone staring at my ceiling 我独醒得早，仰屋兴叹 (Wǒ dú xǐng dé zǎo, yǎng wū xīngtàn) [I woke up early alone, looking up at the house and sighing]

I try not to care but it hurts my feelings 我努力不在意可我内心困扰 (Wǒ nǔlì bù zàiyì kě wǒ nèixīn kùnrǎo) [I try not to care but I'm troubled inside]

This translation of "staring at the ceiling" is very... literary? It is 'staring at the ceiling' in this context. The direct translation is something like "to stare at one's house in sadness" and comes with associations of truly unmitigated despair. This greatly entertains me, so I kept it. The translation of "hurts my feelings" here is also more directly "troubles my heart" which is pretty good. The first time I tried to translate it, the literal translation was "hurt my face" (fun fact - the 'saving face' idiom in english comes from this equivalency in chinese) and my gf laughed for like five minutes.

You don’t have to stare, come here get with it 不要只是盯着， 可以来得到我 (Bùyào zhǐshì dīngzhe, kěyǐ lái dédào wǒ) [Don't just stare, you can come and get me] No one’s touched me there in a damn hot minute 很久没有人操过我了 (Hěnjiǔ méiyǒu rén cāoguò wǒle) [It's been a long time since anyone has fucked me.]

Apparently the "it = me" implication "get it/with it" here doesn't translate well? Which I find interesting because mandarin usually seems very ready to leave stuff like that up to context in other situations. I was also proud of the next one - mandarin is left-branching, not right-branching, so communicating the sentiment "no one has touched me in a long time" goes in the order "in a long time, no one has touched me." Which breaks my brain a little when I have to say things, but that's not the point - the humor of this line comes from having a euphemistic first half and more intense/explicit back half. So I flipped which clause was the explicit/non-explicit one to keep that.

What's it take to get your number? 你可以留下电话号码 (Nǐ kěyǐ liú xià diànhuà hàomǎ) [You could leave your phone number]

What's it take to bring you home? 我真的很想带你回家 (Wǒ zhēn de hěn xiǎng dài nǐ huí jiā) [I really want to take you home] Gf and I also talked a lot about these. Apparently this kind of rhetorical structure is really hard to do concisely in mandarin. Like it exists, but the primary way you communicate stuff like what would be communicated the weird verb tense sandwich of "what does it take to get" is by sticking a bunch more words in a sentence. I'm still not totally satisfied with what we came up with, but it was tough to try and hit the right tone. The "leave your phone number" thing is also apparently just how you say that, though most of the suggestions i saw for a "get your number" translation on i.e. reddit were actually "add me on WeChat" lol.

Hurry up, it's time for supper 快点，晚饭时间到了 (Kuài diǎn, wǎnfàn shíjiān dàole) [Come on, it’s dinner time]

Order up, I'm hot to go 下单了, 打包带走 (Xià dānle, dǎbāo dài zǒu) [Order up, for takeaway]

Hurry up, it's getting cold 快点吧，天要冷了 (Kuài diǎn ba, tiān yào lěngle) [Come on, it’s getting cold]

Last few lines! The first thing I came up with for the "it's time for supper" I was told sounded too much like "your mom calling you in for dinner" and there was much discourse about what fixing that would even entail. I was pleased that there's also a pretty nice translation for "Order up" that fits the beat.

[dykeferatu]

Hi, River! :)

What's your favourite NIN song(s) my dude? (If I may call you my dude.)

hello! god this is like asking me to choose a favorite child except i think that would be easier. if i was a parent. it's hard to chose only a few faves but it will TRY to keep this limited... (note from future river: i failed)

fuck this is actually so difficult... ok i have to get closer out of the way

obviously..... predictable choice but it's a hit for a reason ok!! it was my top song on spotify last year and i literally only started listening to nin in october. so good... i saw u respond to my post about track transitions and the transition from closer into ruiner makes me go crazyyyyyyy. i love ruiner as well but again. trying to keep it limited..

ok nearly every song on tds is a favorite so i'm just going to highlight a few more and then i'll give other releases a chance 😭

reptileee.. UGHHH. yeah this one just does something to me. the machinery sounds. yum. that guitar bit that lines up with that one machine sample that's playing throughout (3:43 if u don't know wtf i'm talking abt)... and i like the muffled yelling in the outro

there are songs on tds i guess i technically like listening to more but there's something about this one that makes it special to me. it's comforting somehow! the intro is meditative, and the meat of the song is cathartic. i like how we get the same muffled effect as on reptile, but here even the instrumentals are muffled

BURN!! one of my first favs. so good and aggressive. grraaahhhh

ok gonna try to limit myself to one song per release from here on out bc i really do love so many.....

so fun and funky. the nursery rhyme lyrics are a little silly but i love it. also love the part where he just screams

so many good things abt this one... the first things that made my ears perk up were the synths on the chorus

there's just a weight to the sound of this one that i'm obsessed with atm. also, the crunch is real good

ok already breaking my promise but the fragile has so many songs and i haaave to highlight please. underrated as hell!!! hearing that chorus for the first time changed my brain chemistry (<- could say this about a lot of nin stuff lmao)

breaking my promise AGAIN because LA MER...... such a beautiful song. does things to me. has made me cry. whatever........

gotta love only. the beat. the rambling verses. the chorus. the reference to down in it. fun!

i ran out of embeds but THAT WON'T STOP ME...

Me, I'm Not - i woke up with this song stuck in my head once and then i listened to year zero and finally Got It

Discipline - just a banger

Various Methods of Escape - hesitation marks is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED

The Background World - i do kinda with there was a version with a shorter outro bc i looove this one but it's hard to put on playlists. great way to end the ep tho

God Break Down the Door - PLAY THAT SAX TRENT!! i also love his voice in this one

OK i'm done. i agonized over this and i still wanted to include more 😭😭 tysm for asking and thanks to anyone who got to the end of this post <3 ily

[bisexualrapline]

I've seen your blog and you really do seem to love Yoongi a lot. Can I just ask, what are your favourite things about him? ☺️

i woke up to this ask so good morning friend. i’m stumped for words honestly i feel like i’ve tried many times (and failed many times) to articulate exactly how much yoongi means to me in words but choosing my favorite things about him seems like even more of an exercise that i am doomed to fail at 😭 let me just say what follows is an inconclusive list and leave it there before i spend my entire workday philosophizing about the love of my life fkskdkdk

i love how big his heart is. i could provide endless examples of him showing his big heart and i’m sure some of them will come up in points below but it should suffice to say that he thinks and cares so deeply for the people in his life, it genuinely inspires me to do the same for the people in my life

i love how much he loves bangtan. you can just tell with the way his eyes shine when he talks about/to them. the way his mouth quirks up in the slightest smile when he’s fond. the words he says about them too are always so well thought-out and almost like… savored. like he’s turned them over and over in his head and tested them on his tongue so many times. he loves those boys like i can’t imagine loving anyone

i love How he shows love. watch any bangtan content and you’ll see what i mean. in the soop when he made jihope tuna on crackers while they were playing just so he could lie next to them on the couch and be satisfied that they had a snack while they were playing games. the way that he’s been widely seen as this “cold” person has never made sense to me because from what i’ve seen of him, his door is always open to those he loves. and they know it.

i love how much he loves soft and cute things. he’s such a living conundrum of a person. i think sometimes people struggle to fit All of him inside their heads. like yes he can be big bad rapper man AND also love ballads and tangerines and puppies and fluffy cute things and to pout in selfies and wear makeup and skirts and look pretty. i just think the way he’s so comfortable walking the line and sharing different parts of himself with us is soooo like… we’re so privileged to get to see so much of him.

i love how we’ve gotten to see him grow and see his mindsets shift over time and how effusive he is about the members playing a part in that. i talk a lot about how seokjin must have influenced a lot of the ways that yoongi’s feelings about life and the world we live in have shifted over time and it genuinely does warm my heart to know how deeply he processes the things said to him by the people he loves. to affect a mindset change so much to be able to impart wisdom that could literally change someone’s life really requires that level of trust and love to believe so deeply in what someone else says to you about their feelings. idk was this a coherent point? i haven’t taken my meds yet this morning skdkskd

i love the ways in which he expresses himself. i think yoongi is one of the greatest living artists on this earth. no single other artist on earth has ever impacted me so deeply with their music and lyrics before him. leaving aside music and lyrics, even just his words are art to me. i cherish the things he shares with us because i’ve never felt so seen or understood by someone who i will likely never meet.

i will stop there because if i keep going i may start crying and never stop. hope this answered your question somewhat?? 💗

[barrenclan]

I can't remember if I've sent this before, so sorry if i did, but for a song suggestion, muck and mire by brown bird as a general song for the old leaders dealing w their dying clans n stuff

MUSIC SUGGESTION BIG POST PT. 1:

Over the past few months I have gotten a lot of song suggestions that I haven't answered, and as I suspect I've been shadowbanned by Tumblr for posting too many asks (or some other esoteric reason; I'm working on it), I'm gonna answer them all in one fell swoop. So if you've suggested a song, it's prolly gonna be in here.

A folksy song like this does sound like it would be for a story set in the countryside of the Great Plains, so that works well. And it being about the old Clans and leaders is an interesting one, nice call.

"I must drag my body through the muck and mire/ Gather branches for its funeral pyre/ Twigs I would rather twist into nests/ Or whittle wooden wings and fly"

"I'd call on my lord but he can't help me now"

I agree, this is a good song for that last issue. Pinepaw wondering why he ever looked up to Cootstorm as a mentor, and Blacknose's view of her being tarnished as well.

"With a sorrow in our hearts we can play And I look up to you When we hear different sounds that the heartless do Wakeful at night looking everywhere for You Why do I look up to you?"

Aw, this is that Shadowsight AMV song! I love that video. Yeah, this fits Hush Puppy well, poor lady.

"I’m unprepared And so unrelaxed But he calms me down I’m thankful for that"

You're right, it does have uneasy vibes as a song, very PATFW core. I like these lyrics in particular lining up with the two generations we have in the story.

"First we were babies, we're birthing and dying Then we were children, we're playing and crying And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing"

I can basically staple the entirety of the Crane Wives discography to Slugpelt's forehead.

"If you woke and I was gone From the house that we made our home Would it bend you, break you, overtake your heart Like it did my own?" <- That is literally so accurate

"The only peace I have ever known Is the peace I made with you I won't move, but I can't stay here"

"I try to keep it in my head The need to leave this empty bed And be nobody instead"

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Tagged by: Fave of faves @bethanyactually--and usually I save every post I'm tagged in to (at least theoretically) do later, but since I actually have returned to watching and listening to things lately, I'm gonna do this one right now.

Last song: Like You Do by Josh Ramsay. And Christian Kane's cover of Fast Car, both of which were recced to me by Leander, who knew I should hear them. But also, while I haven't listened to any of it since Tuesday, I woke up with the Daisy Jones and The Six soundtrack playing in my head...just like it has been ever since I originally started watching the series. Today it's mostly been The River featuring Simone, Regret Me, and More Fun To Miss. I know enough of the lyrics now for the soundtrack to be my constant mental radio as I go about my day.

Currently watching: Nancy Drew S2 (I'm 4 episodes in and enjoying it a lot), Schmigadoon S2 (I've seen half of it and it's still fantastic and I'm bummed I only have 3 episodes to go) and today I'm about to start my Good Omens rewatch so I can head into the new season full of S1 feels. Because my best friend is literally the best, I'm also partly through a DJATS rewatch with Leander seeing it for the first time--making that my favorite thing I am watching right now.

Currently reading: Nightwork by Nora Roberts (I'm about halfway through it and have been borrowing it from @actuallylukedanes forever and I feel very bad about that! I will finish it! I'm also partly through How to Raise an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi, also on loan from Leander. And before that, I was (and remain) partway through literally 20 other ebooks of all kinds--most recently Zero Fail: The Rise and Fall of the Secret Service by Carol Leonnig. There's a ton of great nonfiction that I already have on my tablet and know I'll enjoy cuz I'm that kind of geek...I just rarely read anymore because reading time is time I'm not spending with my millions of other hobbies.

Current obsession: As referenced above, Daisy Jones and The Six, which I am so so happy Leander is watching with me--both helping me get it out of my system a little and letting me indulge even more in my love of it. After we watched it on Wednesday, I was able to listen to something that wasn't the soundtrack for the first time, so I just may be able to dial this obsession down to manageable levels at some point. But GUYS IT'S SO GOOD. I want to gif it as soon as I get back to Photoshop and I kind of want to read the book, when I didn't before. I just want to burrow into the world and live there, and I haven't felt that way in quite a while, about anything. (It's made it harder to engage with other things, which is why I originally was going to add Ted Lasso's completed final season to my week along with Nancy Drew and Schmigadoon, but ended up not doing so because my head and heart are full of DJATS right now. But I missed this feeling, too, so I'm happy to be in love again.)

No-pressure tagging: @actuallylukedanes, @jicklet, @jakeperalta, @beturass, @hondagirll, @mythologicalmango, @dollsome-does-tumblr, @anextrapart, @sentichefuoripiove, @robbiedaymonds and anybody else who wants to do this.

[ii-zi]

not to be miserable on main but I miss my brain so so so so so much like it's obviously still working it's clearly still there and for some reason still holding on better than I thought it'd at this point and it's still not quiet or bored or anything?? But two years ago (before I got sick ™) I could still play literally entire movies in my head beat by beat just by zoning out, I could recall entire book chapters upon request repeat practically everything I had processed and now I'm lucky if I can finish the lyrics of a song I'm listening to.

my friends are always trying to cheer me up as much as they can praising me and whatnot and I appreciate it immensely but it's impossible for them to get it. It's not that I think myself inferior just bc or that I suddenly am undeserving of the same praises. They never lived inside of it. They never felt how alive my mind was after I woke up, how I legit didn't have the ability to even feel alone bc of the speed it worked at. I never even bothered working to express what I was thinking. I didn't have to make an effort to structure or formalize conceptual nebulae bc the transition simply happened. Everything simply was. Nothing ever didn't make sense. And I'm never getting that back

[superblysubpar]

get to know me questions!

thank you for the tag @aftermidnightwriting 💛

tea or coffee? coffee all the way! Drink it all day long - I can drink it almost black now, usually a little cinnamon and brown sugar stirred in. I do love matcha tea and iced tea with lemon, trying to become a tea drinker but they all taste the same to me.

dogs or cats? dogs! I am allergic to cats, so I think that's made me a little biased - but dogs are too good for this world. We don't deserve them.

can you play an instrument? Do air instruments count? Cause when I'm listening to music, I am the lead singer, guitar, and drums lol. But, no I wish! my husband plays guitar and I have a goal to learn, and I always wanted to learn piano too. I was a choir/theater kid not a band one.

what's your sign? My sun sign is Virgo (my moon is Sagittarius, I'm pretty sure my rising is also Sagittarius? I really want to learn more about astrology!)

favorite lyrics that pop into your head?

oh gosh....hmm well "Keep Your Head Up" by Djo lives in my brain all day every day. I replay that song over and over again - it makes me feel better no matter what. Particularly: "Something special in you everyone will see in time. Got to keep your head up" and that jazzy part at 2:18 that I wish I could literally bottle up and inject into my veins.

But here's some that I love so much I'm getting tattooed on my body:

"I am stronger than you know." - Leather & Lace by Stevie Nicks

"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow." - Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac

"This world needs you." - I Want Your Video by Djo

"Just trust me you'll be fine." - End of Beginning by Djo

"There's a better me, I swear." / "A change that I can see." - Half Life and Change by Djo

do you have tattoos? I do! I have two right now but like twelve that I want, hoping to get started on a few of them in the next several weeks.

favorite place you've ever traveled? I'm trying to think of a place that's totally wowed me - I go on a roadtrip almost every summer and I've been to 48 of the 50 states...I think the places that come to mind where I just took a minute and appreciated it all were the grand canyon and bryce canyon. The Grand Canyon - we slept in our car and woke up at this overlook and I saw the sunrise with no other people around over the canyon. CRAZY BEAUTIFUL. Bryce Canyon in Utah is just one of the coolest places, the landscape and nature changes throughout the hiking - pine trees and then suddenly beautiful orange rock and it's just hard to describe...

what's the last movie you watched? I just watched Zathura last night!

what languages do you speak? sadly, only English. I could introduce myself in Spanish - a few words here and there, but I'd love to learn more.

do you have any hobbies? I love reading and writing, photography - anything artsy really just drawing or painting, but photography is my main one. I love baking - particularly cinnamon rolls, and hiking/being outdoors.

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? this is cruel...how do I pick one...Spiderman.

compliment yourself: ha...um....you know what I'm gonna give myself two. A physical and a personality one because we deserve to love ourselves: I love my strong legs (14 years of dance baybee!) and I have a good 'never give up' attitude, resilient - for a pessimist I'm pretty optimistic.

[hopelesslesbianromantic]

TAG GAME TIME

thank you for the tag @stocious 🖤

tea, coffee, or soda? all three??? sweet tea, iced coffee, or Dr. Pepper with vanilla

dogs or cats? this one is terribly hard, I have both. But for the sake of the question, dogs

can you play an instrument? a litttleee bit of ukelele

what’s your sun sign? CANCER!!!!

first song lyrics that pop into your head?  i'll be outside, i've been cooped up, bloodshot eyes, need a ride, will you pick up? couldn't get it right, and you're sleeping on me now. woke up standing in the middle of the street somehow. see through by the band CAMINO

do you have any tattoos? I'm like 80% done with my sleeve on my right arm, have 4 misc things on my left, a little skull on my left thigh, and the aries, cancer, and sagittarius constellations on my right leg which is the start to my "pant leg", oh and a little flamingo on the front of my left shoulder.

favorite place you’ve traveled? I haven't done much traveling, but we went to Coquina beach this summer and it was really nice

what’s the last movie you watched? Jexi, it was wild.

what languages do you speak? english and a very small bit of spanish, we're working on it.

do you have any hobbies? crocheting!!!

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? jesus this is really hard actually... probably Ian and literally just walk around whole foods. I love walking around grocery stores eyeing stuff.

compliment yourself: I am very driven.

tagging people (if you wanna) @liamgallaghers @mrs-monaghan @gallagher-milkovich

[musicthrob]

Fake Happy - Paramore (Live in Manila 2018)

May 11 / May 24, 2024

For fans of Paramore, Hayley Williams, 2010s pop and nostalgia, Billie Eilish, and Enya Umanzor

I woke up this day thinking about my celebrity crushes. After going through a list in my head that I will not disclose for now… Hayley Williams popped up on my Twitter feed and it all came back to me. Suddenly, I was thinking about my high school-self and how much has happened since then.

After school, almost every Wednesday, my aunt would pick me and my sister up and take us to her house. She would buy or cook us food and often toasted lots of bread with butter for us. My sister and I would do our homework across from each other on this big dining table, sitting on chairs with cushions covered in plastic. Over long periods of time, sitting on these chairs kind of got uncomfortable because we both wore skirts to school and the plastic would ride on our thighs. I don’t know why it never occurred to us to bring an extra change of clothes or leave some at her house.

I remember that I loved doing my math homework. I loved doing math homework because it was the only homework I could really do while listening to music or watching Youtube videos. I would often play songs and music videos on repeat that probably annoyed my sister. But watching concert videos was my favorite because I could pretend like I was there experiencing it too. 

I am pretty sure I only got into After Laughter by Paramore because of the monthly playlist videos that Enya Umanzor used to post on Youtube. So thank you Enya. I immediately became obsessed with some songs on that album and searched for live performances to watch while doing my math homework. And soon, I found, right before my eyes… Fake Happy - Paramore (Live in Manila 2018). 

I wish I could watch it again for the first time. I remembered being so captivated by Hayley and her voice and her energy and the crowd’s energy. I remember my jaw dropping to the choreo she did especially at timestamps 1:10 and 3:04… These parts still get me every time. Whoever is reading this, you are obligated to watch the whole thing because it will change your life. (This video is at the top of my Youtube playlist of live performances I wish I was in the crowd for.)

I am just really glad to see new videos of Paramore performing on my feed because they are opening for Taylor Swift on the European leg of The Eras tour right now. They recently even performed “Pool” which they haven’t done in a while (Hayley forgot some of the lyrics lol). Also, I only started listening to “Pool” when I relistened to the whole album on this day of remembering my celebrity crushes. Somehow I used to not pay attention to songs like this and “Grudges” in high school? But now they have been on repeat for me and the bridge on “Pool” is my favorite omg. That bridge is literally perfect. I have to watch “Pool” Live in Manila now. 

Pause… I just started watching their recent performance of “Pool” in Stockholm and Hayley just said it was the 7th anniversary of After Laughter on May 12th… What are the odds I revisited the whole album a day before… wow

Hayley said After Laughter is her favorite Paramore album and it's definitely mine too. In the best way, listening to After Laughter feels like Christmas and I think the best songs feel like Christmas.

I was supposed to make this post on the 11th, but I’m glad I didn’t because I would not have added my thoughts about “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” by Billie Eilish in relation to this. First of all, this song also feels like Christmas. Second, people made comments that it feels like a song that belongs on After Laughter and that it would be cool to have Hayley Williams feature on it and I wholeheartedly agree. 

Lastly, in the 2018 Fake Happy performance, Hayley Williams is wearing a Talking Heads t-shirt! It’s so cool to see that, knowing that they released a cover of “Burning Down the House” on the Talking Heads tribute album produced by A24 this year. Plus, David Byrne also did a cover of “Hard Times” by Paramore. I just love when things come full circle.

Links:

Enya Umanzor playlist videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P72yku3ubpI&list=PLawPp9LCEFgbUCFN8KJVf-FgTriG5lFTn

Pool - Paramore (Live in Manila 2018): https://youtu.be/LWYaExyW2Mc?si=RwT6b6gg246uEXm2

2 POVs of Paramore performing Pool in Stockholm (2024): https://youtu.be/mrdc-OVAna8?si=VqjIW5O5MZVZwOcq https://youtu.be/Jr0jnwnaj_Y?si=9Jr0ovBFG9f4pGqF

Billie Eilish - BIRDS OF A FEATHER (BILLIE BY FINNEAS): https://youtu.be/1IUCyniCWzg?si=jUhNyqcoW30zgthg

Paramore - Burning Down the House (Behind The Scenes): https://youtu.be/A73voVPhMfY?si=otTYtgL1y91Khruf

Paramore - David Byrne Does Hard Times (Official Visualizer): https://youtu.be/hG72N2leG7s?si=l_bxdoC5iShILCE9

Another song that feels like Christmas to me: https://open.spotify.com/track/4f22oWm76LYThaa1FpDuUw?si=901a5d873ae84960