thank you for the tags @loveshotzz & @rosewaterandivy 💛
rules: post the last sentence you wrote for a work of yours, and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
(of course I have no self control, and can't post just a sentence. This is from something I am EXTREMELY excited to share details about, and I'm calling it Baby, All At Once, and it'll be a modern AU 🫣)
Steve's fingers flexed where they rested on your hips, weight shifting between each foot.
"Relax," you whispered, drawing your hand up his arm, tugging on the collar of his polo to get him closer.
Steve swallowed, adam's apple bobbing as you looked up at him, speaking through your smile quietly. "If you stand like there's a two foot board between us all week, they're never gonna believe it, Steve."
He nodded, and you had to bite your real smile back as he cleared his throat. He pressed his nose against your cheek, lips a ghost over your skin, warm breath fanning across it.
His palm slid higher on your waist, breathing deeply through his nose. His cheeks turned pink as he heard the way your breath hitched as his lips pressed to the curve of your jaw.
Steve spoke against your skin, nose nudging under your ear as his voice came out deeper despite the soft murmur, "Better?"
"Ye-yeah," you cleared your throat, releasing his shirt you'd wrinkled under your fists.
"Hey! Lovebirds!" Eddie's voice called from the patio down below, "Dinner!"
NP Tags: @sweetsweetjellybean @rebelfell @palmtreesx3 @girlwiththerubyslippers @carolmunson @chechelia @crappymixtape @abibliophobiaa @pastel-pillows anyone else who wants to, please!! 💛
45 notes
·
View notes
a little wip for a little thing i'm working on!
983 notes
·
View notes
Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
122 notes
·
View notes
art of @zachtoplasm's Hotel Purgatorio
251 notes
·
View notes
hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.
I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.
In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.
I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.
I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.
If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.
Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.
59 notes
·
View notes
thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
45 notes
·
View notes
whitney (design kinda mid but its alright ill deal with it)
172 notes
·
View notes
Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
22 notes
·
View notes
COLD KISSES POLL PART 2 LET'S GO PLEASE PUT UP WITH ME I'M SORRY
i once again call upon my very very rad and cool ice skater readers and the general public everyone's opinion matters !!!! i have new song choices (thank u @eggyrocks & @kitnootkat <3)
21 notes
·
View notes
Tag 9 people you’d like to know better
thank you for the tag @strangemagicc sorry it took me so long 🥰
favorite color: I'm a sucker for mustard and pale yellow, and I love a perfect shade of light purple (not too bright and not too soft). Lately I've been really into an olivey green too
last song:
currently reading: JAWS by Peter Benchley
last movie: Twister and then Napoleon Dynamite with @loveshotzz and @sweetsweetjellybean 🥺
sweet/spicy/savory: it really depends on my mood or the type of food, and I'm still quite a bit of a baby when it comes to spice, so I will say I tend to lean more towards the sweet
currently working on: We'll Call It Love (I think I'm sending it to my beta tonight 🥺🥺🥺🥺) AND a short little smutty enemies to lovers coworkers thing AND these two new series that I'm super duper emotional about, but mainly this first one I'm excited to share details about soon 💛
Some NP tags: @abibliophobiaa @crappymixtape @palmtreesx3 @chechelia @carolmunson @rosewaterandivy @lonelysatellites @rebelfell @girlwiththerubyslippers
24 notes
·
View notes
@gecko-in-a-can THIS ABSOLUTELY
Resentment is such a big part of Benny’s motives towards House, feeling he’s underserving to rule and shouldn’t have the right to keep the title of Vegas just because he claimed it first long ago. Say what you will, Benny puts the effort in, through honest and dishonest work albeit, but he puts in the effort. Not saying House didn’t but House had the luxury of having a lot of that effort done before the war and subordinates to do so after. House is untouchable, something everyone wants in the Mojave, if not for the power, but because of the security. House takes that for granted seeing how easy he thinks it is to buy people. Benny, a Mojave native, has to be irate about that seeing how he has seen the heights and slums of both lives.
Also with the AIs it’s so telling because in a lot of ways, Yes Man has more autonomy than House’s major personality securitrons. Yeah, Yes Man has to be helpful but he’s aware and able to be snarky and coy. Benny has an issue with not being listened to but that’s the only perimeter Yes Man needs to act on. He can’t condescend but lord you can tell when he wants to. House’s AIs serves specific and highly detailed functions but are confined to act in accordance. They are subservient to a T and are extensions of House while Yes Man really is a creation that adapts further, hence his desire for the assertive upgrade. Benny made something, or at least was okay with a helper, that can progress for itself. House made things that replicate or facilitate an era of the past and don’t hold the power to contest it.
42 notes
·
View notes
Playing Armored Core 6 (its very good) and I made my ending choice
im sorry ayre ill pick you in ng+ i promise
10 notes
·
View notes
Fic authors self rec!
thank you sm for the tag @pretentiouswreckingball
When you get tagged, post your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love
(summaries below, me rambling in the tags)
bite the hand | wolfstar, nonbinary sirius, exes to lovers | 120k
It’s them and Remus, it’s always going to be them and Remus. Nothing can break that. Except for themselves. Which evidently they are very good at doing… So hope is what they cling to. More than love, more than history, more than anything.
- or -
Sirius and Remus have gotten into a cycle of breaking up and making up, except this time is going to be different.
i regret you all the time | jegulus, death eater james | 80k
What happens when James falls for Regulus and his friends lose their trust in him?
take care of you and yours | jegulus, wolfstar, dorlily, sirius centric | currently 100k soon to be 200k
Sirius plans a fun summer at the lake with all of their friends, but it doesn't go quite to plan.
Friends become more, hatred becomes love, and people unravel until there is nothing left.
the stars that bind us | jegulus, wolfstar, black family centric | currently 99k dont ask how long it will be
Regulus is an author of four, soon to be five, books all written under a pen name. They tell the stories of each of his cousins, brother, and himself, and how they left home and each other. He has done his best to keep them from finding out about his books, but what happens when they do? How do the five of them fit back together after so many years?
you had to go (i know, i know, i know) | black brothers | 3.6k
He saw it coming. At least there’s that, right? At least Sirius told him before he left. At least Regulus got to say goodbye to his brother.
no pressure tagging: @calamitoustide @itsjaywalkers @magswrite @starsworth @aurorboros @galaxostars @sugarsnappeases @quillkiller <333333
10 notes
·
View notes
wip wednesday ♥️
happy wednesday friends <3 i was tagged by @wikiangela, @exhuastedpigeon, and @rogerzsteven to share something so thank u all mwah
this is from eddie vs the hoa because he and buck made a pallet of blanket in the living room floor to sleep on and i think it was cute so please enjoy 🫶🏼
“I know,” Buck says, a little drowsy. And he does know—Eddie’s told him everything. There’s no secrets between them. “It’s big enough for you and Chris to grow in.”
“I think it could be a forever home.” It’s a whisper because anything louder might disrupt the moment. “Mine and my son’s and yours, too.”
Buck blinks, slow and sleepy. He’s less than five minutes from falling asleep; he worked so hard today. He deserves to rest. “Mine?” he repeats, voice pitched high like he doesn’t quite believe it.
Eddie’ll make him.
“Yours.” He reaches out, picks at a dark eyelash resting on Buck’s cheek, and holds the tip of his finger near Buck’s mouth. “Make a wish.”
Buck’s eyes cross, twin blobs of blue in the flickering light of the laptop screen, and he puckers his lips to blow a bit of cool air. The eyelash drifts off somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder, but he doesn’t care to know because the color of Buck’s eyes is the same shade of blue the sky was the night he stayed up with his abuelo.
“What’d you wish for?”
Buck chuckles. “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
Eddie hums. “I’ll make it come true,” he swears, and he thinks Buck’s cheeks tint red, but it might just be from the light of the laptop screen.
no pressure tagging @honestlydarkprincess, @giddyupbuck, @eowon, @eddiediaztho, @wildlife4life, @watchyourbuck, @thewolvesof1998, @alyxmastershipper, @jeeyuns, @fortheloveofbuddie, @hippolotamus, @ladydorian05, @callmenewbie, @nmcggg, and anybody else who wants to share something!
80 notes
·
View notes