#literally who gives a shit on TUMBLR
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like/reblog ratio goes crazy. literally what
#hhhhhh okay before i get anyone in my imbox saying im acting entitled and selfish:#i know that I'm not “owed” interaction#i know that!!!! we all know that!!!!#but when you spend hours creating smth and you sit there nervously having just posted it#and the notes slowly trickle in#sometimes you just wonder why you even bother sharing it#now let me just say: i WRITE for MYSELF#i SHARE for OTHERS#i will never stop writing#but jesus fucking christ I'm collecting more reasons to stop sharing#what is it about hitting “reblog” that soany of you are afraid of? that someone will see and give a shit? this is TUMBLR#literally who gives a shit on TUMBLR#are you afraid that someone will (God forbid!) see that you have interests? hobbies? likes?#i don't know#i just can't believe that a large chunk of you really do so very little to support creators you enjoy#it costs zero money to reblog#but not reblogging may cost you that content you so enjoy#im gonna say it: as creators; we are motivated by interaction#that silly little serotonin boost we get from a comment or reblog is what motivates us to share#just wow#[ ❀ ] — reece's rambling#delete later
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okay so, having now seen furiosa: a mad max saga opening night and having Ruminated on my thoughts, I am going to give my two-pence on the movie even though nobody asked or wanted it - you're getting it anyway!
but before going into the full thing, I actually re-watched fury road today, bc I just wanted to contrast it now that we know furiosa's full story that lead her to her trek in fury road, and I just had mad max on the brain (and also I love that movie).
spoilers under the cut below!!
first, I already knew before seeing the prequel, that that scene in fury road where furiosa breaks down after learning about what happened to 'the green place,' was going to now hit 2x as hard once we learn what really happened the moment she was ripped away, and...yeah, it's super painful to watch. it was already a very emotional scene, but now having known how much pain and struggle it costed her, how many times furiosa desperately made her bet to get back home and fell short - you can really feel her grief
funnily enough though, I was shocked to find myself tearing up not during that scene, but when furiosa was reunited with the last of the many mothers. having just watched her ripped away so unfairly as a defenseless child, her whole world destroyed and clinging onto this dream of one day, getting to embrace her family - you can't help it!! I started tearing up when the other woman rushed to furiosa, embracing her with the gentle touch of their foreheads, 'this is our furiosa' 😭 like..she did it!! she made it home!!! - also, I learned in the credits - that woman was actually the same little girl, valkyrie, in furiosa who was her friend!!! that girl saw her friend get snatched and pulled away from their home, and then finally, both grown, they reuinite! I just thought that was sweet
what max says to her about hope in the scene after they find the mothers, 'if you can't fix what's broken..you'll go insane.' - my mind immediately jumped to dementus. we get this glimpse that he once had a wife and child(ren) he loved, that were either taken from him or killed, and he tells furiosa in their stand-off more or less how that destroyed him mentally, further plunging him into this hateful madman who acts so cruelly to others. he couldn't 'fix' it by getting them back ('I want them back!!' 'I can't!!'), the one thing he loved that kept him sane, and so he lost his humanity.
I saw a post of someone saying how ricktus's death (immortan joe's son) is 10x more satisfying after having seen what he (nearly) did to child furiosa...abso-fucking-lutely (though, I think with that in mind, furiosa should've gotten a part in it..)
also, max & and furiosa's dynamic after knowing about her & jack...the parallels! the parallels!! their gradual bond of trust, how fluidly they work together to kill/fight the enemies of the citadel akin to her and jack vs. dementus and gang, etc.
this saga, of course, is about hope and redemption, alluded to in both fury road and the prequel. in fury road, max says (I think in his opening monologue) how he was once strived to be a 'righteous warrior', who could do good and help others. later, when one of the wives finds the warboy nux, he's distraught bc he thinks his chances for greatness are gone, but then she tells him that maybe, he's destined for something greater - and that would be, of course, later sacrificing himself to save her and the rest by crashing the rig into the war party. in furiosa, jack says how his parents were valiant warriors, and how he hopes one day, he could be the same - also, later, fulfilling that by sacrificing himself so that furiosa might escape dementus and the destroyed gastown. it's just such an amazing string of parallels - all three men, looking to do something great, and then, through furiosa, they're given that chance and achieve something good even amongst the destruction!! but it's only bc of furiosa, this harbinger of hope, that they do so - she's the tie between them all, the embodiment of that goodness!!! it's! just! so! good!!!
honestly there's probably way more parallels out there I'm sure ppl will bring up, but those were the things that struck me. now, onto my actual thoughts on the prequel.
--I'll start by saying I was unbelievably excited to see this movie. I'm annoyed though, bc despite knowing about it and wanting to see it once it was released, I literally only learned it was coming out a week before the release date. straight up, the press for it was so poor, not once did I hear about it before the trailer randomly crossed my feed one day - and considering how popular fury road is, I find that bizarre (but, I'll bet you a good couple bucks, that the press/hype was deliberately poor bc of the movie company execs, due to this being a female lead film 😠) - but it did mean I didn't have to wait too long, and that I did watch the trailer about 13 times on my own accord until then..
--having read the reviews, I do agree, it is a bit slower then fury road - but, that's really only bc it's a character story instead. fury road takes places in the current time of the film and the actions that follow, whereas the prequel is specifically about furiosa, so it's honed less to the action and more about a certain character, in my opinion. but it's just as good for a character story! it does an excellent job of unfolding furiosa's journey, and really, if you're gunna compare everything in the franchise to fury road, it's never gunna live up. that said, there's still excellent action and real nail-biting moments.
--I will say though, that I found it almost...darker, then fury road? fury road is definitely intense and there's of course violence, but it never openly tips into anything past pg-13; the darkness that is there, is more or less touched upon by the narrative (like, we can get a sense of what must've happened to the wives (ie assault) and why they escaped once we see how immortan joe regards them as property, the suffering furiosa must've went through by the pure vitriol look she gives him when their cars are side-by-side and later, 'remember me?' before killing him (my favourite scene)). but it's never explicit - furiosa is. from the torture of her mother, to that scene right after the max cameo when he drops furiosa off at the citedel's underground where I literally had to cover my eyes and ask my friend to say when it was done..there's an overtone of darkness that gives to the tragedy of furiosa, this child molded from pain (not to mention, again, that scene of ricktus and her as a child which to me, was the most nerve-wracking moment). fury road gives you a glimpse, but furiosa doesn't hold back.
--chris hemsworth, meanwhile, made an excellent villain. not just as an actor, but dementus as a character was fantastic. he's got lots of great lines and brings in a lot of humor - he's both deranged and erratic, while also clever and simultaneously childish, and mostly, cruel. he's wonderfully dynamic. bringing in a backstory of losing his wife/child was a great added piece to his story (I love a good backstory), and the way he takes the loss of his kid and tried to mold it around furiosa, tries to fill that empty piece inside, was a great choice in terms of their dynamic. it made him more then just a mad-man who stole a child for yuks - he had a deeper desire to tote furiosa around, almost as a security blanket in the same way the teddy bear also acts as one. his final monologue was great - the ramblings of a hateful man, but it was, in the end, what got furiosa to see past vengeance, and become better - to choose hope, and not destruction.
--anya taylor-joy did a great job I thought - while I wish furiosa had more lines, she made up for it in just the facial expressions and how full they were, really giving us a glimpse of what furiosa was feeling. even still, it would've been nice to have known what was going on in her head, or even hear her talk about her past - the green place, and then dementus, are the pure driving force of her character, yet she doesn't ever mention or grapple with her grief around these things, simply stays silent (except for the final confrontation with dementus). I would've loved maybe, if she had confided in jack, or maybe even one of the wives, to give more depth to her feelings.
--I also wish furiosa could've bonded with someone else besides jack, or at least before him. it would've been nice for to have had at least one ally, or, I dunno, a friend? like that war boy who had dwarfism - she seemed almost sad, when realizing after the battle that he was dead. instead, she's alone, but a fellow misfit friend could've been nice.
--speaking of jack, loved him! thought he was great! it's unfortunate his part was so short, would've loved delve into his background (also, I'm as gay as they come, but he's like..an objectively Good Looking Man, so well done all around).
--I was really nervous, for how they were gunna do the romance. I was against it initially, bc the great thing about fury road, was that romance was not at all forced into the narrative - you can read that between max & furiosa if you want, but for one of the very, very few times when a woman and man team up, romance wasn't forcefully wedged in, and instead they could be respected allies. so I was skeptical - and then I totally fell for them. they were so sweet! the two actors had great chemistry - their bond was just so soft. the way, after they crash and are caught by dementus, furiosa, who can barely stand, gently leans herself into jack's shoulder, sweetly muttering to each other as he leans his forehead back against hers, like 😩😩 it was so lovely, and so tragic. you could really feel the respect and care they had for each other; it was so organic, bc jack genuinely wanted to help furiosa. he respected her and asked nothing of her - he was a purely good man, and through that, furiosa was able to open up to him and trust him. it's the great curse of the mad max universe though - no romance can escape it's claws, same with how nux and one of the wives were torn apart. in my heart of hearts though, there lives a little AU fic where dementus doesn't catch them, and they make their way back to the green place and live happily ever after with a kid perhaps, and maybe, furiosa and him go back to later rescue the wives (they say, like they're not thinking of already writing that very fic...).
--one more thing about furiosa I wanted to mention, if I can call back to earlier saying how she becomes a beacon of hope for the various men that enter her life (and the women too, when you think of the wives..) - that, despite all this horror handed to her, at the very end of the rope, she gives into her hero's heart. time over, we see, even as the destruction of the wasteland chips away at her, furiosa can never quite betray her heart. she runs back to her mother even after being pushed to leave, she goes back for jack despite having the perfect escape to finally make it back home, and in the end, takes all her hurt and anger wrapped up in dementus, and turns it and him into something that can bring good into the world. it's about choosing good, above all!! a hero's heart, even in the darkest of worlds!!!
--the trailer really emphases the green place, but we only see it for like...a couple minutes? I was looking forward to more lore about it, maybe seeing some of it's inhabitants like the mothers. but furiosa is taken immediately and then her mother starts her hunt after her, and that's it. kinda a bummer.
--there's a couple inconsistencies here and there - like, when furiosa is first brought to where the wives are kept, there's gotta be about 20 women in there, roughly. but then, as she becomes a young adult, we see at the very end her approach the 5 wives from fury road (I was expecting a call-back, so loved that) and it looks like there's only them there - what happened to the rest of the women??? did they all die in childbirth?? also, when furiosa runs away and hides herself as a warboy/mechanic, how did no one know she was gone?? it seems odd, since immortan joe specifically picked her out and probably has a mental line-up of all his 'treasures', you'd think he'd notice. or how, later on, the new 'imperior' with jack looks oddly similar to that young girl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
--also, I wanna know how furiosa got away with being the only female imperior - you'd think immortan joe might snag her away instead to be a wife bc she's young and viable, or that she'd be either dismissed or preyed upon by his sons/the other men. maybe because she was partnered with jack it was easier, but that was kinda confusing.
--final thing, bc this post is already too long - my last gripe is mainly about furiosa's dynamic with immortan joe. in furiosa, her revenge is purely motivated towards dementus, but then, switching to fury road, she now holds contempt and anger towards the warlord. part of what I wanted to see in the film, was her past with immortan joe; we didn't know initially how furiosa got to the citadel, but my interpretation, was always that possibly (because she was branded with the logo on her neck) she was brought on as a wife, inevitably abused by him, and then something happened where she was no longer useful as a wife (maybe an accident that cost her her arm) but was still useful as a tool. but, immortan joe isn't really looked at in the prequel; he's here and there, but doesn't show any particular cruelty or act towards furiosa that I was expecting. that vitriol she shows in fury road, and of course, 'remember me?', makes you think there was something there to fuel furiosa's revenge. instead, nothing really occurs between them - of course, furiosa is brought on to breed him children and then is expected to do his every bidding in getting supplies, so, I think we're supposte to assume that she has seen how cruel he is up close, and so acts against him. still, I was expecting something deeper there.
all in all, I loved it and had a great time. fury road will always be one of my favourites, but this is a great addition. fury road is great on all fronts; a fascinating world, great characters, amazing action, a well-made and clearly cared for story, but the thing I love most - is that it's about hope. it's about choosing, every day, despite the horrors around you, to get up and hope for something better. to do something better, even at your own cost. it's about hope and what we mean to each other when we extend it. and I just love that so much
go see furiosa! support it! it's a great time!
#mad max#mad max fury road#mad max furiosa#furiosa a mad max saga#furiosa spoilers#furiosa a mad max saga spoilers#anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk#sorry the second part isn't properly bulleted tumblr was giving me grief about word count#no thoughts head empty only furiosa#if anyone has thoughts PLEASE add on I'd love to talk more about it#I'm already stalking the tag for ppls thoughts#apparently some people didn't like it....?#don't know what that's like get better soon I guess#not so much to the actual fans who have gripes about the story and lore and whatnot#but ppl bitching about the cgi or performances or whatever#even people shitting on the movie focusing on the principals of hope and goodness bc it's supposte to be an 'action apocalypse' movie like?#literally what is that like#that's the WHOLE FUCKING POINT BRO#THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS SERIES SO GOOD#that and clearly a director/creator who deeply cares about the story and characters#when you care about that stuff then it usually ends up good#anyway enough blubbering#I've been yammering forever and it's late I must away to bed
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you know as a neurodivergent person I only have two fucking requests of anyone I consider a friend: 1) do not cold shoulder or get aggressively angry with me for something you didn't bother to communicate you had a problem with and 2) do not fucking infantalize me and treat me like a naive fragile broken child who is a burden on everyone in my life. shouldn't be too hard right??? insane how many neurotypicals are fucking incapable of doing the bare fucking minimum
#literally the only prerequisites i have for someone to be my friend#like if I love you legitimately everything else is a non issue. it doesn't even occur to me to get mad#and it's not even in a “sigh i will look past this for you” way. genuinely there's very little you can do to bother me if you're my friend#ill just assume you had good intentions#because i trust that you wouldn't intentionally hurt me if you're my friend so getting angry is pointless#but i genuinely don't know how to handle it when people i care about get mad at me. it scares the shit out of me#ugh i can't explain what i mean#but god some people really just don't give a shit once they dont need me anymore huh#it's the way they go out of their way to make me feel like a helpless 13 year old who can't do anything right again#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#i swear if you manage to lose ME as a friend 9 times out of 10 there's smth seriously wrong with you#because i virtually have no standards and will put up with everything#and am the person who cares too much in almost every relationship in my life
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people on the fear and hunger reddit can be so annoying ugh
#i've met some lovely people on there even made a friend but some of the users there get so pissed off about really dumb shit for no reason.#like who gives a shit#''tumblr is ruining the game waaaaaaaaah they making all the characters gay homos''#i just saw a post where they screenshotted another persons post talking about their daan hcs and were going#''no he's not he literally had a wife'' like first of all the person hc's was that he was bi#so jot that down#or i get people that comment on my daanmarcoh drawings going like#''well i ship him with his wife :|'' like cool??????????
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#someone tell me to stay the fuck off tumblr bc i have an immense amount of work to do today#and stressing out about what’s happening here is not helpful.#i should also probably just distance myself a little bit in general bc im getting too wrapped up in whether people like me or not#and that’s fucking stupid like it’s just tumblr who cares who cares!!!!! why do i care!!!!!!#like ik it literally does not matter but lately every time i log in i feel left out and like no one actually wants to talk to me#need to give myself a hard slap in the face and get my shit together#personal#i’m chained to the hellsite unfortunately
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vent shit erm🧍♀️
Shit has been so stressful lately omfg with exams and finals and performances I’m actually going to lose it ong💥 erm only posting this cause I like the expressions I did here
#vent#cw: blood#cw: death#just graphic violence🧍♀️so be warned#edgy ass shit but it’s tumblr so who gives a fuck🗣️#also no the people there aren’t meant to be anyone specifically just metaphorical representations of my fuckin problems😔#And by problems I mean college work#sketch#Guh I hate being stressed out cause literally any little annoyance/inconvenience will set me off omfg💥#Edit: tumblr fuckin censoring this shit oh nah💀
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me: yeah i didn't project too badly onto taob haha *sees a quote from taob randomly on a tiktok webweave about girlhood*
#HELLO?????? yeah zuko they girlhooded you. yeah no they transed your gender#idk if this makes sense but ur coping mechanisms are just sooo she/her#like do you have any idea how baffling this was like no tags no search no nothing it was just there by sheer luck#i saw it was a webweave about girlhood and i was like ohoughhee this will be good#got a few slides in. hello i recognise thAT FUCKING QUOTE WHAT IS HAPPENING#like it's such a niche quote and out of context like it was it could have been from ANYTHING#AND it wasn't credited which i'll get to in a second#but honestly i felt like a mother identifying her child through something incredibly niche like a single freckle or some shit#bc i was like 'this is such a nondescript quote and isnt a big enough moment for me to remember vividly and yet somehow i Just Know'#and low and behold i double checked with a cheeky ctrl+f on taob AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT#WHAT THE FUCK#im a tad fuming there was no credit like the person used like 12 images and only 3 of them are Non-Tumblr Writing Quotes#and NONE got credited#like i get it's hard enough to get art credited but i feel with artists there's still a general conensus that you're SUPPOSED to tag them#but with writing people honestly just treat it like it's free real estate and the thing is it kinda IS especially if it's fanfic#but also..... why would you not just say who wrote that? like you clearly like it enough to put in ur little slideshow#so why not give credit where credit is due. annoying. bc now im like if this happened by pure fucking chance#then how many times has this happened when ive literally been totally unaware of it?#how many times have MY WORDS just been flung about tiktok without any acknowledgement that i wrote them?#idkkkk just how writing especially amongst tiktokers is treated as a lesser or watered down artform#that doesn't require the decency given to 'actual' art. i might just be being cynical bc i dont like tiktok tho lol#like girl (taob) what the hell are you doing at the devil's sacrament#taob
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okay none of this is new information but as usual i am thinking about gorrik and arenanet just. really never considered the timeline of his life and the implications of that at all, huh
like, okay, for eod you needed him to have a relationship to ankka and you needed ankka to have connections to the aetherblades, so you threw them both in thaumanova, fine
except. thaumanova. which blew up in 1324.
and no, we don't have a canon age for gorrik. but we know taimi's age, that she was friends with blish, and that blish is older than gorrik
now. taimi didn't know that the brothers had joined the inquest. which means either they'd kept it a secret from her, or more likely, it happened after they lost touch
taimi was born in 1313, meaning that the absolute oldest she could have been when she last saw them, is ten
now sure, taimi skipped a couple years, she's a prodigy even among asura - but age really matters when you're in single digits. for blish to be a friend, rather than a mentor, he can't be much older than maybe four years above her? i'd put that as the reasonable upper limit, they could be closer
(i'd also honestly guess that gorrik is a bit younger than taimi, given a) how much he looks up to blish, and b) that taimi prior to s4 only thought of him as blish's weird little brother, they weren't friends. and again, at that young, age matters - if you're 7, your friend is 10, and his little brother is 8 or 9, your first connection to him is probably not "oh, the little brother", because he's not little to you)
but assuming im wrong on all of that, just going back to our facts, that puts gorrik at the most about 2-3 years older than taimi
which means that the age we're looking at, for joining the inquest, thaumanova, all the stuff with ankka... he was somewhere between 9 and 13. could be even younger but im giving him the benefit of the doubt
gorrik says he never thought about ankka romantically and i believe him, but if there was ever anything there from her side, it was definitely a kiddie's first crush kinda thing, like oh we are a boy and a girl who are best friends clearly this is what romance means
because both of them were so fucking young
god knows spending her teenage years in the aetherblades was not great for ankka's everything, and by the time we find gorrik and blish in bug in the system, they've been working for the inquest for at least 8 years
that's almost half his life, at that point. working for an organisation that the thaumanova fractal and rata primus make incredibly clear does not value the lives of its workers in any way at all - they'll feed you to their latest experiment just for standing there, and gorrik wasn't just keeping his head down and going along with it, gorrik was actively sabotaging their research when he morally disagreed with it
(and this isn't even getting into why they joined the inquest in the first place, which i will bet anything i own on being because of blish's illness and needing the technology to save him)
and to their credit, i do think this comes across in bug in the system! because if you go back to early gorrik, first half of s4, having played through the rest of the story? the difference is shocking, like he is so distrusting and snide and defensive as hell of his brother, he talks like he expects you to attack him or blish at any moment
but then they never do anything with that ever again, and like, i love all the new gorrik content, genuinely i do, but arenanet there are layers to this character that you have entirely forgotten about, and god i wish we had a story that actually explored that
#my friends have heard me give this rant so many times already but tumblr hasn't!#so i need to post it bc it is driving me insane again#asura trio forever in my heart#also i've joked a lot about how funny it is that rama is literally the only npc in the gyala story who's not an engineer#rama also the only person in this mine (bar the commander) who isn't jade brotherhood former jade brotherhood or former inquest#even funnier when my commander is a former aetherblade#like hi rama sorry you are the only person here who can take the moral high ground ever#this is the demon mine of We've All Done Some Shit Okay Get Over It XD#gw2#gorrik#ankka#taimi#blish
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you know how i posted yesterday about my love for artists who draw sabo w/ fangs?
that goes doubly true for artists who remember the sun pirates mark on koalas back
#i’ve combed through tumblr for saboala art so now i’m on twitter combing through to help inspire me and it’s wild how some ppl just#idk completely leave it off#so i absolutely adore when i find an artist who not only INCLUDES it but also makes content AROUND it#that’s my absolute shit#unfortunately most of the comics are in japanese or korean so i have no idea what is actually being said but i can get the vibes#(altho sometimes the artists will post the lines of the art in a reply and twitters translate will give me a better idea even if it isn’t#the best (bc it’s all very literal))#ange rambles
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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mike wheeler in the fic I'm reading has exactly as much tact as I did in high school. what can I say sometimes you really do have to learn the hard way that you do not immediately ask your best friend who is also your soon-to-be ex's sibling "nothing's going to change between us no matter how much your sister and i hypothetically hate each other in the future right?" when you're LITERALLY still in the middle of your very messy breakup and they're furious at you secondhand because of #siblingsolidarity. not to mention he handled the break up itself like an ass like go off thank you author i love it truly the representation for us completely oblivious emotionally challenged idiots we're starved of otherwise NO ONE EVER GETS HOW STUPID WE CAN TRULY BE
#liveblogging.pdf#byler#mike wheeler i know what you are#willel#as someone who has a lot of mutual friends with my sister AND as someone friends with a lot of siblings#i obviously love all my friends to death and they love me but#if you have a choice. for future reference trust me do not befriend two siblings pick one if you must#it's an emotional shitshow for everyone involved#you have to give each of them exactly equal amounts of affection and love and everything all the time that's just the rule#you're an ass otherwise#also we will always pick each other over you even if you did nothing wrong#just know what you're in for when you befriend siblings okay it's not easy#you know my childhood ex best friend i keep posting about? we broke up over a fight she had with my sister#also my best friends are siblings and fighting with both of them because it was a both or neither situation in school was The Worst#i have like a zillion more stories just trust me okay#i love my sibling friends to pieces and the mutual friends i have with my sister and i wouldnt trade them for the world#but im sure as hell not befriending siblings simultaneously in the future#my sister and i are literally the tightest now too because our social circles barely overlap#anyway. that was another episode of me projecting way too hard onto byler fanfiction hope you enjoyed#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com
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bro wtf is with this guy i swear when will he get the hint that i no longer am and do not want to be friends with his transphobic-in-the-weirdest-way ahh
#he makes me so uncomfortable???#like i ghosted him for 2 months and then when i had my competition he messages me telling me that he went on the site to look at my results?#???? and proceeded to give me unsolicited consolation#um firstly wtf are you even looking at my results for thats weird af and secondly i wasn't even upset + i don't want your pity + wtf???#and i replied really dryly but then he started talking about some project he was working on as if i didn't literally greytick him for 2 mths#and now he just sent me a message again omg stop please. i get the ick thinking about him#okay and there was that time i was in a really depressive episode last year and i wasn't talking to him and on his discord bio it said like#you know ur the worst when a suicidal person wont talk to u or sum shit like that#like what the hell? am i just overreacting or is that the weirdest shit you could say#like are you trying to get me to feel even worse cuz that doesn't exactly make me want to reach out#like omfg how do you even make something like this about you. literally how#also he kept fetishising trans people in his fanart???? like what the hell it was so disturbing#anyway now that I think about it i was friends with him for about 6 months and it's also been 6 months since then and i am completely fine#ugh anyway#we were kinda close so i got him to make a tumblr#to my moot who might follow him his name starts with r lol#and i swear he was vagueposting about me last month#and like. it's kinda creepy.#dude i am literally the plainest person around please why are you so obsessed with me i bet you can't name anything about me you liked that#doesn't include how i gave you the attention you wanted#anyway i don't know how he hasn't gotten the hint when bro he knows i literally avoid all eye contact and pairwork and messages from him#like do you need me to tell it to your face or what#rant#sorry i feel so mean writing this help
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Does anyone know where I can find target clothes from a few years ago? I have this specific pair of pants that need to be replaced soon but they are Literally my favorite pants ever and I would REALLY love to find the same ones. I’ve found one of the pair for certain, Here, but they’re a size or two too big, BUT it does mean I have the specific name of them now. I’ve found one other listing that might be the same ones but the picture quality is too bad for me to tell for sure, and the size isn’t listed. (here)
Basically I’m asking if anyone has any tips on how to search for them? Since google is giving me about 8 million other items from the same brand, which would be nice if I weren’t incredibly autistic and hated change. Hence wanting to get the exact same pants again.
If anybody has any clue how one would search please let me know!!
#Kiri rambles#pants#clothes#universal thread#<- that’s the brand#goddddd I don’t know what to tag this with… fuck#Clothes search#pants search#Jeans#jeans search#Yeah I have literally zero clue what to tag this with in order for people who might be able to help to see it… I wish I could blaze it but-#-I also refuse to give money to the tumblr corporation because they’re shit#and I know target is shit too I don’t even go there myself it’s just these pants were a gift from my mom and they’re some of the most-#-comfortable pants I’ve ever had AND they’re fun and stripey. So I REALLY do not want to give them up#Normally I would just figure out how to patch the inner thighs with spare denim I already have on hand- but they’re also stretched kinda-#-weirdly around the ass/hip zone. I don’t notice it feeling-wise so this pair could last me a good ‘nother while if I were to patch them-#-be a cause I don’t SUPER mind but I imagine with time it’ll probably end up getting worse. Meaning even just having a way to find a-#-replacement when the time comes would be a godsend#Anyways. Tomorrow I will figure out patching them using denim from a much older and much more destroyed pair of jeans and see how much more#-use I can get out of this pair.#Basically I’m running out of time on this pair and would love to find a backup plan before time runs out 👍
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hey how much is sapnap and matpat in the new tommyinnit video, i want to watch but i don't really want to see them
Matpat isn't in it. Sapnap is but it's just Tommy seeing him coming out of a store, asking if he's fucked up mentally, sapnap says no and Tommy is like "nice seeing you" very dryly and sarcasticly, and leaves. A lot of people say Tommy was being a bitch to him on purpose but he has autism and I ALSO have autism so....idfk
#asks#also the matpat thing is prob just personal preference BUT in case it isn't#he's....fine. I've heard people call him transphobic and i have no idea what the fuck they're talking about?? he's outspokenly an ally and#his cohost on gt live is nonbinary??? he includes nonbinary options in all of his gener surveys????#i think it's literally just because of his videos when he was in college and didn't “get” trans people but he LEARNED. and he learned fast#every accusation I've seen against him was either old#bullshit/made up#or purposely bad faith (like the pope thing??? he literally gave the pope a video game because he wanted to give him something that#represented the video game community while also having a kind message because it's traditional to bring gifts representing your community#and people act like it was a pusposeful intent to be cruel and evil and overshadow real genocide or something??? i read a rant on it and wa#like#...THIS ONLY MAKES SENSE IF YOU ALREADY HATE HIM AND ASSUME HE HAD BAD INTENT.#They hated him FIRST and then tried to justify it.#it's so dumb???!! it's so dumb. what the fuck#people also call him ableist and that's just as stupid and i- i need to stop my point is. free him he's literally just a normal guy#a normal guy who learns stuff over time?? like humans do????? and grows as a person?????#fuck twitter and fuck cancel culture. matpat rocks and i think he's fucking cool as shit. FUCK#matpat...strokes the screen....matpat I'm so sorry for what they did to you oh my godddddd#matty patty.....matty patty I'm so sorryyyyy#pookie I'm so sorry for what they said abt u I'll avenge u i prommy <3 ur so slayyy literally so slay don't let the h8ers get you DOWNNN om#he's a legend and he's genuinely not an asshole he's just kind of a himbo dumbass who has to have ash explain to him what a tumblr sexyman#is. he's just out of touch if you explalin to him he'll go “oh okay!!! i support you!!”#HE'S TRYING HIS BEST!!!!!!!! RAAASGUGUUHHHHH#matpat supporter i am a matpat supporter i am a matpat fan and bestie#he's my little blorbo he's my silly little guy my dumb theory man#you're allowed to hate him idc i just don't think saying he's an irredeemable monster who needs to be beaten up is fair.#you could say#.... he's “annoying at first”#get it? but yeah i think “i find him annoying and hate him personally” is fine but “he's evil and actually morally duplicitous” is unfair.
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I was watching RotG and suddenly I could only see the meme with the increasingly large dominos. With the small domino being 'Pia watching RotG' and the big domino being 'Efnisien, Gary, Anton, Temsen, Gwyn and Augus all starring in the same a/b/o fic'. Does RotG hold a special place for you, thinking of all the stories you've written since?
Hmm,
Yes and no? There's an even smaller domino you're not seeing which is that I had written original characters and stories before this, and Augus in particular was based off an original character I'd written before (and not published) so like, Rise of the Guardians didn't *invent* him, I did, years before I ever watched the movie. But there's also dominoes that drove me out of the fandom, and it was my bitterness re: the fandom that prompted the writing of original fic in the first place.
So let me tell you a story, anon. If you don't want to know how toxic the RotG fandom could be, I recommend you just walk away now and know that no, actually, RotG doesn't have a special place in my heart, knowing I wrote original fic to initially escape the way some small pockets of that fandom treated me. Otherwise I would have written RotG fiction for far far longer, because as the old-timers will remember, I actually had a couple of longfic ideas lined up to go immediately after SAL that I abandoned because of well...everything.
I actually spent a while after finishing SAL kind of hating Rise of the Guardians because of some nasty drama and meanness/spite towards me, particularly in the last few chapters, and it took about 2-3 years before I could even consider watching the movie again or write for the fandom again. And then by the time I'd come back, all of my original stuff was established, and I felt a lot more comfortable, and a lot more 'fuck the haters' with some of the stuff I had previously had to deal with.
(Fandom wank beneath the cut, lol)
For example (self-harm and suicide mention) one person would specifically post graphic horrible self-harm photos complete with blood tagged into the RotG and blackice tag/s specifically to coincide with my chapter releases towards the end of SAL - and she was a BNF in the fandom in her own way, so *everyone* kind of knew who she was and what she was doing - and she blamed me and my story for the self-harm, and so I had people coming to me going 'do you realise what this story is doing to this person, don't you even care.' And of course I felt horribly guilty and distressed, but I was also at this point around 7/8 chapters from finishing the story, wanting to give everyone a happy ending, and after posting the last chapter I broke down and cried because I was just so relieved that I didn't have to be tormented by this specific person anymore or see these images as a survivor of suicide attempts and self-harm myself.
But also just crying out of sheer distress because of how horrible those last few weeks were, because like, if it wasn't for the readers I would have walked away due to the pressure and bullying and coercion to get out of the fandom just because I had a story that some folks enjoyed reading. That was a level of targeted hate I'd never encountered before, and have never encountered since.
Around that time a couple of small hate groups started up about me, and I would get messages like 'you realise there are hate groups about you, right?' and I'd be like 'please don't tell me about this, people can hate me, leave them alone.' Then there was the time I just got - over around 10 days - about 100+ messages telling me to kill myself because of SAL and how 'horrible' it was re: it's 'really dark themes' which I find hilarious now, but back then, was actually really stressful when it coincided with someone literally *harming themselves* or posting old self-harm photos on days I posted a chapter, talking about how the reason she was doing it was because she hated that my story was so popular when it didn't deserve to be.
Like, no, I did not have a special relationship with Rise of the Guardians by then, or the fandom. I hated it. It's why I stopped writing for it when previously I literally had so many ideas I wanted to write for Jack/Pitch. For years after that. I would remember the good memories I'd made with SAL, but a lot of readers followed me into original works. And otherwise, all I remembered was being forced to see those photos and this person's tags if I went into the tags to look for fanart to share and promote. I'd made some very good friends (some very best friends, actually), and some of us got the hell out of that fandom as fast as we possibly could to escape these people.
So like, I would love to say that like, I feel nothing but fond memories thinking of the influence Rise of the Guardians has had on me, but no fandom that I've ever been in has ever had this kind of level of underground viciousness that developed as the story gained momentum.
When I wrote The Golden Age that Never Was I was truly detached from the fandom and the movie. I was writing based on my memories and feelings of the characters. I didn't look in the tags like I used to, and instead looked for when I was mentioned directly. I had a spike of anxiety every time I got an anon message while writing it, and I had to like...avoid fics and a bunch of other stuff to get through it.
I have watched Rise of the Guardians since and I do really enjoy it, but...I don't see the dominoes the same way you do anon, probably because of the way it all happened in my head, though I do think putting original writing on AO3 happened partly because I was in a hurry to get out of the RotG fandom. So in a way RotG is connected to that, but like, only because I was fleeing and abandoning all of my Pitch/Jack ideas as I went (to the point where people remembered them and still asked me about them years later and I was like 'haha oh no sorry I'm not writing those oh well maybe one day!')
Chances are high I actually wouldn't have written original fiction if my love for Rise of the Guardians had still stayed strong. I was ready to write two very specific longfics, and had done worldbuilding for both, and was talking openly about them, but towards the end of SAL I bolted from the fandom as fast as I could. The hate I got from specific corners of the RotG fandom is one of the reasons I started writing Game Theory before SAL was even finished - to cope with how I felt about the end of SAL and the hatred I was getting there. When some of those folks said 'omg I'll never read a story about Augus' I was literally like 'oh thank fuck, I'm going to be left alone now.'
Like...I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia like 6 months after that, I cracked teeth because of how stressed I was, and I still have crowns in my mouth and teeth removed because of that whole period. I was sleeping an average of 3 hours a night.
...I feel a very special fondness for the people who supported me at the time, especially my good friend Silvia, who is still my beta and friend today. She is responsible for far more of the dominoes that have led to this moment than Rise of the Guardians could ever directly be. And I am extraordinarily grateful for the readers who have found my stuff since. Now the majority of readers of my original stuff have never actually seen Rise of the Guardians or read my RotG fics, and like, actually sometimes that's really nice, if a bit weird.
I have never, in my life, encountered a fandom that could get as toxic as pockets of Rise of the Guardians got, and I'm including Dragon Age: Inquisition in that, which had literal blocklists of asexual people, so you know I mean business! But as a final point, I do want to say the majority of people there were amazing, absolutely amazing, this is truly a case of a few bad apples spoiling the whole experience, and I'm still to this day gutted it happened like that, and have zero surprise a lot of people left the fandom all at once, at the same time, because of it.
#asks and answers#personal#lmao not gonna tag this into anything important#SALverse#shadows and light#basically yeah... even when i rewatched the movie#i can't help but remember what happened#and those images#of literal self-harm being posted on tumblr#and tags viciously implying i was the worst person#for the crime of writing a story that got popular#like i didnt' PLAN for that to happen and i certainly didn't know#as a result#i'd be told to kill myself over a hundred times#one of the reasons i just don't give a shit about antis these days#is that i know they're just bullies#but being a *direct victim* of that bullying with those specific triggers#was like...yeah#anyway there are so many people from that fandom who i love and think of fondly#but the movie will always remind me of *that* time#and even writing this post has left me feeling like choked up and anxious#like i used to feel all the time back then#i have complicated feelings for RotG#and it's a shame because the movie is truly gorgeous and savagely underrated
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