#literally only use it to watch the kraken

[titobarkvillier]

“thank you for subscribing” babe i get it free with my phone plan dont act like i sought out an espn+ subscription

[redbean-nom]

Ventress is really enjoying being the master for once huh. she finds an untrained clueless young force sensitive and immediately goes full Yoda mode with the balance-stuff-on-your-head test and accompanying cryptic commentary

and it's even funnier when you remember that qui gon in TPM checked anakin's midichlorians with basically a covid rapid test

[toddistyping]

not to be weird but like you guys don’t get it

I sit here in my room every game wearing all the Spokane chiefs gear I own just to watch Tom tell me he’s been healthy scratched again and it’s making physically ill

like I am actually sick to my stomach looking at the pictures of him on the bench in his suit he should be allowed to play he should be on the ice he shouldn’t be sitting out every fucking game for no reason

I know the seasons not over over for another week but honestly they haven’t let him play now will they even let him play then

I just want Kailer to play

[turtleblogatlast]

I will never be over Leo’s 4D chess play in “Many Unhappy Returns”. Like, just in general it is a spectacle to see this character who we’ve seen goofing around time and time again, who’s only sometimes decided to take things seriously, only to show him making a maneuver like that.

And here’s what gets me the most about his plan against Big Mama: he comes up with it on the spot. The second he sees that Big Mama has the solution they need, he’s already in game mode.

It is so satisfying watching the episode back when you realize his plan, because he literally sets the stage entirely for a decisive victory. He sees that the champion is a kraken, and comes up with both the solution to defeating it and a reasonable excuse to get that solution into the battle with them on the fly:

“Like your champ aaand those six guys. In fact, we don’t want this over too quickly. You should armor up those rookies. The whole shebang. Especially with these pointy helmets.”

And this is why giving him teleportation powers is perfect, too. He analyzes the battlefield and makes use of all the assets, moving pieces around to guarantee a win. It is honestly so impressive to witness and one of my favorite parts of his character.

[brigdh]

I want to talk about Izzy's rant to Ed in episode 10, the one that brings out the Kraken. I've seen a lot of different descriptions of what is going on in this scene – death threat, homophobic slurs, etc – and I don't think either of those are what's actually what's happening.

Let's look at it closely, line by line, and the way Ed reacts, from the very beginning of the scene.

Ed: Well, feels nice to tidy up a little. Can't believe I was living like this. Can you, Iz? Izzy? Izzy: I'm going to speak plainly. Ed: Wonderful. You know we share our thoughts on this ship.

Izzy, cont: This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death.

Okay. So there we've got what some have interpreted as a death threat. But does Ed seem threatened? He's startled, certainly, put on his back foot – literally – but he doesn't look afraid or alarmed to me. He draws in a slow breath, assessing the situation, but overall seems more confused than frightened.

In fact he laughs it off with his next line:

Izzy then escalates the level of aggression in the conversation:

But Ed, again, looks more confused than anything. Check out that furrowed brow, that head tilt! This is a man going "what is your deal?", not a man thinking "uh-oh, you might kill me!".

Extremely noticeably, even when Izzy storms right up into his face, Ed holds steady. He doesn't run, doesn't lean back, doesn't hunch his shoulders or drop eye contact – there is no vulnerability or defensiveness in Ed's body language at all. Ed is in supreme control of this confrontation – look at the slow way he deigns to turn back to the paper Izzy's holding! As though he's making the point that he chooses when to turn, not Izzy:

Then we have the "homophobic slur". But watch closely:

Ed does not react to "namby-pamby", "silk gown", or "pining" at all. He doesn't even blink. He barely seems like he's hearing Izzy. His entire attention is on the picture.

Ed's body language and behavior changes at one word and one word only, and that is "boyfriend". As soon as Izzy says it, Ed's furious:

(It's even easier to notice when you actually watch the scene instead of using gifs, because Izzy really draws out 'piiiiiiining', putting a lot of time between the first half of the sentence and 'boyfriend'.)

Why is the use of the word 'boyfriend' so important?

Well, what has Ed been doing all episode? He's been crying in a blanket fort and singing sad songs, yes, but he's been keeping a careful level of mystique about why he's doing it. Ed often uses distanced circumlocutions instead of directly acknowledging his emotions, but he's doing it in this episode even more so than usual:

Here are the lyrics to his song:

(Version one, with Lucius) Hanging on By a thread Hanging on Shouldn't let go If I let go, all will fall Fingers bleeding down to the bone now Can't let go Nothing makes sense Hold on Hold on Hold... on

(Version two, performed for the whole crew) Just let go Make yourself let go Make it go away Away, away today Life's a hard sad death And then you're Deaaad

Notice something? There is no mention of Stede, or love, or break-ups, or abandonments, or relationships in general. All Ed discusses is a vague life-sucks attitude, which could apply to basically anyone under any circumstances. He seems pretty okay with people knowing that Blackbeard is having some sort of weird emotional breakdown as long as he convinces himself that no one knows it's specifically from having his heart broken

This is true of everything Ed says and does for this entire episode. He never once even mentions Stede's name, unless "Farewell, Bonnet's playthings" at the very end counts. The only thing Ed openly admits to feeling bad about is a fictional character who's having a hard time "holding on" (holding on to what? he never says). There are no allusions to heartbreak or romance anywhere in his dialogue.

Now, Ed's not stupid. I'm sure he knows Izzy and Lucius and the rest of the crew can connect the dots and realize that something bad happened with Stede, even if Ed doesn't fill them in on the details. But Ed is also traumatized, and has a whole host of coping mechanisms set up to help him avoiding thinking about things that he doesn't want to think about. If he's not a murderer because "technically the fire killed those guys", then no one knows he's heartbroken because technically he hasn't acknowledged it.

Until Izzy says the word 'boyfriend'. Suddenly the secret is out, and Ed can't handle it. Izzy knows his weakness. That's why this word effects Ed more than anything else Izzy says in the whole scene.

At the end of the confrontation, he hears the crew calling for another song. Look at Ed here. He looks as haunted, as disturbed, in this moment as he does at any point in Izzy's rant.

This is an important part of the scene, not just a closing note. Because if Izzy (the Caribbean's most emotionally constipated man) can see through him, obviously the whole crew can too.

Obviously Lucius – who advised Ed on his and Stede's relationship, who played along with Ed's 'fictional character' claim, who wrote down Ed's lyrics – can do so most of all.

There's a direct emotional logic to Ed killing Lucius because he had a fight with Izzy, and it doesn't involve Ed having been threatened or hate crime'd at all. Ed doesn't deal well with his own feelings (from Stede), so he chooses to become Blackbeard/the Kraken and gets rid of all the witnesses who saw otherwise.

[insidetheravensmind]

𝐌𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝

18+ | For Mature Audiences Only

Pairing: Siren Hyunjin X AFAB Reader Genre: smut, pirate/siren AU, slight yandere themes !!WARNINGS!! yandere themes, cream pie, making out, doing it from the back, facefucking/intense blowjobs, fingering, cunnilingus, degradation/slight dumbifcation, DOM HYUNJIN, SUB READER, reader gets super fucked out. I think that's all, but I'm bad at warnings. Also, there is slight control over the mind, but everything is consensual! Word Count: 7,222 Requested: Yes! Author's Note: I used several references while writing this including Pirates of the Caribbean, H2O Just Add Water (literally only the moonpool/grotto area, that's what the scene is based on), and the faces I envision the sirens having is basically the vampire faces in "The Vampire Diaries." I also watched One Piece while writing this. Avatar (James Cameron) also inspired the mermaid/siren sex biology. (When they use their hair to touch and that's sex, yeah I did something like that). Reader is a pirate that basically only uses pirate slang around her crew, besides that she talks normal. I figured the pirate slang would get annoying to y'all, so I kept it own. I hope you like it! I'll be transparent, this fic is the only one I've ever questioned and been tempted to re-write a few times. I'd love to write something like this again, but I do need to practice. Synopsis: You're a pirate captain that's looking for sirens and mermaids, but what happens when you attack the enemies, and a beautiful siren takes you away for himself? Check out my Stray Kids Masterlist Support me by buying me a coffee ☕️

EDIT AFTER POSTING: Y'all be making me blush and shit with your feedback. I'm giggling and kicking my feet <3<3<3

For hundreds of years people have roamed the oceans. From sailors on ships to the deadliest pirates of the seven seas, the treacherous waters have taken many lives, not only to the water itself, but the unknown dangers of what lies beneath its surface.    

Stories of many kinds have stumbled their way out of survivors and drunken deadbeats. What they saw at sea or what they heard from someone else, anything was plausible in this kind of world. If it came from someone’s mouth, it was bound to be true in one or another. No one can ever be careful enough, so it was better to take everything as truth. Even the most ridiculous sounding claims shouldn’t have been taken lightly. 

You were the captain of a large pirate ship named The Corruption. You weren’t the most feared pirate known to man, but you were certainly amongst them. You were the only pirate willing to tread where others never came back from. You had faced the Kraken, not killing it, for your adventure only called to find where it rested to avoid crossing near the area at all costs. You faced several other sea monsters, whether they were larger than three ships or nearly as small as a minnow. In this place, the unknown were considered monsters until proven friendly. You and your crew were one of the reasons the unknown creatures were given names in the first place. 

People often wondered about the name of your ship, The Corruption. As far as anyone knew, you weren’t one looking for a good or quick fuck like anyone else when drunk, stressed, or just plain horny. Anyone who would have ever heard your name knew you were one of the bravest captains in the known lands, but they also knew you weren’t one to hurt. 

You were known for finding creatures but never hurting them. You never forced your crew to walk the plank or make a sacrifice. You were feared for confidence and bravery, not unjust corruption like other pirates. The name of the ship didn’t make sense. How could you, a captain so understanding, sail a ship with an unfit name? Everyone wondered. But you knew. Only you. Only you had the actual mindset to understand why it would be given such a name, and it was simple: Those who sail on it are corrupted by the wonders, those who sail on it live to tell the tales, and thus are corrupted by the truthfulness filled in the sea. They were not killed, they survived intentionally, as long as the captain had any say in it. 

Though there was no reason to fear you, people were still terrified because you were willing to explore what others wouldn’t dare go near. You didn’t take shit from anyone. Your very presence, the kind that was filled with confidence, your willingness to look anyone in the eye, and you could get anyone to tell the truth. You could read a lie from nautical miles away. 

This next voyage of yours was not the most dangerous, but somehow it scared the crew and anyone new willing to sign up. You were on the search for something that was only legend. Nothing proven, no one alive to tell the tale, and it was strictly based on sightings, no real interactions. For years there had been narratives of half fish, half humans swimming by ships quickly, like they were doing their best to not be seen. Oftentimes the quick glimpses made were described as beautiful women, long hair flowing down their backs and breasts out with no cover. The Englishmen called them “mermaids.” 

You wanted to see them for yourself. It was what you did: searched for the tales, or in this case tails, to prove they were real, and if they’re dangerous and how to avoid them. But you questioned why they were so afraid of beautiful maidens that swam along beside them. 

Annoyed by everyone’s lack of commitment, you rounded up your crew and anyone else interested in the voyage. 

“What the hell is wrong with this lily-livered crew? You wanna sail, especially on my ship, you’re gonna get the hell on and go. What happened to me swashbucklers?! You have faced the kraken and you’re all scared to go hunt for half fish half humans? Now, all hands hoay!” 

Your crew didn’t move, barely budged actually, they just blinked at you. Until one man stepped forward and spoke up. 

“Captain, we don’t mean to seem like landlubbers, but rumor has it these mermaids ain’t that friendly. Says they sing with perfect pitch and harmony to lure anyone to their deaths, then snack on them like we’re a hearty meal. We ain’t wanna die to the hands of lust, ya hear?”

In disbelief by such words and rumors you had to understand it was important to be cautious. This wasn’t the type of journey you could just set sail for, it seemed there were more obstacles. You had to come up with more of a plan than a simple aboard ship and sail off. 

“If these ‘maids are so dangerous then why is it they swim by our ships without going in for a snack, aye?”

Another mate spoke up to answer your question. 

“Captain, it’s been said that they could be related but they ain’t the same creature, savvy? Rumors been calling the ones who sing ‘Sirens’ instead of mermaids. They look the same, but they await on shores singing to lure them whereas mermaids are friendly, helpful fellows.”

“Ya sound like you’re three sheets to the wind. Where’d you hear this scuttlebutt?”

“Came from an old seadog, Captain Rattles, Captain.” 

You thought for a moment. Captain Rattles was one hell of a source, to be honest. He sailed the seas for decades, every warning he ever came about ended up to be true. Never once had he lied to crews and captains. He was a pirate to behold, really. 

“Fine. I’m gonna have a meeting with Rattles to figure out a plan. Then all of you are boarding my ship, or else you’re gonna find yourselves lovers with the hempen halter. Savvy?” 

“Aye aye, Captain!”

And the mates scurried off while you made your way to the old tavern where Rattles always seemed to be. It was time to figure out what you were gonna do with the ole hearties. It was annoying to you though. They were willing to die by a giant octopus and not a pretty girl. Typical pirates looking down on women. 

Later that night you found yourself seated next to Rattles with a notebook to take notes on anything he had to say. 

“I remember encountering them for the first time. We heard a beloved voice and heard it coming from a distance. We saw a mermaid. She turned on her back and swam while her mouth opened. The song came from her. We were all entranced. We followed through a fog until her song became a screech. Her face contorted, and her teeth became sharp fangs. The fog dissipated. Then there was a colony of them. They looked so peaceful in the water, until they all did the same thing. They began to attack. It didn’t help that the ship was smaller. I barely escaped. Only me and two others got out. Everyone else was ripped apart in front of us or dragged into the water where the carnage was hidden. We aren’t sure if there were survivors. We aren’t sure if sirens and mermaids are different or if one makes the other. There are so many things we don’t know, but no one should trust a half fish, half human. It’s not safe. We need someone to figure it out. We need you to figure it out.” 

“I know. I want to. My crew is scared.”

“Come on, Captain. Let’s figure this out.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

That night over drinks the both of you came up with a plan. You and the crew needed to wear cloth in your ears to prevent the sound of songs from working. You needed to stack on weapons, ready to attack back. You all needed to pretend that the song was working. The plan was to sail east off the island. That’s where they accidentally found the cove they named “Libido’s Lounge.” It was noted that there weren’t just women, there were men as well. Even those who didn’t fancy men still fell under the spell, and vice versa.  

A few weeks passed by while you gathered the supplies you all needed for the voyage. It was dangerous, and those who began to board knew that. Even you, the bravest of adventurers, were slightly trembling as you boarded last. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous, but you had a gut feeling this was not going to end well. You wanted to cancel it because you’ve never had a gut feeling like this before, but it was too late. You had to go through with it. 

“Anchors aweigh! Better get your sea legs in quick because we’re in for a ride!”

“Aye aye, Captain!”

The escapade took a few weeks. The bad feeling in your stomach grew worse. Some days you could barely walk, the anxiety crumbling you. Your head had shooting pains that grew worse the closer The Corruption got to Libido’s Lounge. The crew noticed, but they refused to say anything. It's never good to doubt the captain, especially when they’re in this position of danger with no one else to lead them out. 

Dark grew over the horizon as the sun hid itself. The ship continued to sail onwards until a crew member looked over the deck and saw a beautiful face emerge from the water. She smiled at him, and he smiled at her fondly. The way her face was beautifully carved made him feel butterflies, and it wasn’t just the fact that he’d been living off of rum for a while. A crew member next to him noticed his gaze followed towards the girl. He quickly ran towards you to alert you that you’d reached the cove. 

“Alert the crew to get the cloth in their ears, now. Get Barbins over there out of that trance or he’s gonna be feeding the fishes.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

Without a second to lose he began to round up the crew one by one to let them know the plan needed to go into full effect now. They plugged their ears with cloth. 

“Hey, Barbins.” The man whispered. 

Irritated, he turned to face him. 

“What is it?”

“Cloth, now. Captain said so. Or you’re gonna be dinner for them.” 

“Gyah, whatever!”

He stuffed his ears quickly before facing the pretty girl again. She smiled, and he smiled back. You noticed this. She began to swim away, and you quickly alerted the crew to follow her. You grabbed a hold of the wheel and spun it to change direction. Through the mist you blindly followed the girl. 

“Oi! Be ready for anything. The second her face turns ugly, start attacking!”

The mist cleared and water grew shallower. There was a clearing filled with the most beautiful faces ever seen. You glared at them as they opened their mouths and began to sing. Through the cloth, all of you could hear the song, but you were hoping it stopped the hypnotic way it enchanted the ears. They all stared at the ship while they harmonized their song. But you couldn’t see any men. Your father had told you there would be men, but there were none here. They were all beautiful girls, you could admit to that. You saw the attraction, and you understood the danger of their beauty. 

You looked to see Barbins jumping off the ship. You were stunned. What was he doing? 

“Man overboard! Start the attack, now!” 

WIth a yell the men began to shoot at the water, and the creatures became angry. Soon they lunged at the ship, managing to grab hold of the crew and dragging them down to the depths. There were way more of them than you had crew, and you knew there’d be more to come. 

Honestly, you lost your depth. Your stomach grew more knots as you watched the bloodshed. There was going to be no survivors by the look of it. Your head felt full and heavy. Your vision became blurry. Your legs felt weak. The epitome of this dreadful feeling somehow worsened when you got to the clearing, and it hurts even more now, like the source of it is getting closer. 

You began to back away from the wheel when you felt yourself hit the back of someone’s chest. You wanted to turn around, but you couldn’t move. Two arms arose to your ears on both sides of your head and pulled the cloth out of them. Then one arm wrapped around your throat and put you in a chokehold while lips quietly sung in your ear. 

“Dead men tell no tales.

Ugly men raid our seas

So we tear their sails

And hear their begging pleas.”��

A mate saw you in danger, so he began to run towards you. The figure who grasped you hissed at him while his eyes shriveled, veins protruded, and fangs threatened. The mate didn’t back down, so the stranger put you down and lunged at him. He quickly sank his fangs into his shoulder and tore a bite right through him. The mate cried before he was pushed overboard. 

You tried to flee in the distraction, but you weren’t fast enough. Furious at your attempt to escape he continued to sing as he stalked towards you. 

“Dead men tell no tales,

But you my sweet 

Are beautiful as my scales

You’ll stick around as my treat.”

He grabbed you by your arm and pulled you toward the ship’s main deck. You were confused by the man’s ability to walk if he seemed to be the same creature as the ones in the water. Your head hurt too much to fully wrap the idea in your brain. Another mate tried to go for the enemy, but he was knocked to the ground. 

“W-what is g-g-going on?” You tried to speak, but you only stuttered the words. 

“My name is Hyunjin, and you attacked my kind. That does not go without punishment.”

He pushed you overboard into the water before diving in right behind you. You swam to the surface as best as you could until you were pulled underwater by Hyunjin. His legs were gone, and they were replaced with an abstract tail. It was a warm brown color with hints of crimson red and golden yellow. Though he was a being that belonged to the sea, his tale resembled fire with its colors and extension fins like that of a betta fish. The colors felt inviting. 

He placed a kiss on your lips which then gave you the ability to breathe without worry. You tried to fight against him, but once he began to sing with his beautiful voice you were lost again. You stared blankly at him as he took your hand and swam away with you, leaving the war to finish itself without guidance. 

Hyunjin swam towards a vacant grotto where he laid your body on a rocky surface. The grotto was his secret hideaway. The only life around it were the fishes and the plants that danced in the water. Hyunjin kept his tail in the water while he laid his arms on the rock staring at your unconscious body. He couldn’t help himself. There was something about you that captivated his attention. Your breathing was calm, you felt lost. You couldn’t think proper thoughts, and you were lost in a void where there was everything and nothing at the same time. 

He wasn’t sure what it was. There was something about the way you lead your ship through the mist, thinking you were being strategic, but he stalked behind the ship the entire time. He grabbed onto the side of the ship, beginning to climb his way onto it and watching the scenes unfold. He noticed you were teetering while you ordered your crew around. He could tell you weren’t entirely there. There was a feeling in his stomach that made him want to help. He felt compelled to aid you. He wasn’t sure if it was your bravery for willingly going where every man fears or if it was because you were the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Even though he was and lived amongst a species that matched the beauty of gods on earth, no one looked as beautiful as you. 

He was supposed to be the one who lured people into his trap. That was what being a siren was about. He wouldn’t sing so beautifully if it wasn’t for that. Even before he was trapped in this cursed body, women would swoon over his artwork. Every woman would look at him lustfully, some of them were quite attractive, but no one was ever able to catch his eye. So, why are you, some pirate trying to kill off his kind, making him feel ways he has never felt before? That wasn’t fair. That defeated the point of all of this! 

He found himself caressing your head softly, staring at the way the water soaked clothes clung to your body accentuating every nook and cranny of it. His body tingled in ways it hadn’t in awhile. Excitement filled his face while he watched you breathe steadily. There was something about the way you were under his spell, under his control, that turned his brain to goo. His mouth began to water, his face felt hot, and his head started to ache at the uncontrollable feeling of wanting to touch you and make you scream his name, but instead of begging for mercy to live you’re begging to have him touch you more and more. The thought alone made him groan. 

You began to wake up from your hypnotic state, stirring slightly, eyes blurry, blinking back to reality only to be met with the high ceilings of a cave and an uncomfortable pain in your back from lying on dirt. Human nature made you want to bolt upright and run, but your pirate nature wanted you to remain calm, find a plan, and escape danger without causing a disaster. You laid there, eyes open, trying to avoid the small sounds of splashing water and the glaring gaze of your captor’s eyes digging into the side of your head attempting to read your thoughts. 

“I know you’re awake, Captain.” He taunts you with your title. “For the Captain of a ship, you’re certainly pretty inferior and weak right now.”

You grunt at his comment, starting to haul yourself up to find a way out of this mess. As you stand, you’re immediately stopped when a blissful tone reaches your ears, and once again, you don’t have control over your own body. You can feel it. You can feel yourself wanting to resist but being unable. Hyunjin speaks.

“Ah ah ah, darling. Lay back down. We are not finished here. I told you that you’d be punished.”

His words made chills sprint across your spine. Your cold, goosebumped covered body felt warm from nothing, and you felt yourself melt back to the ground. You turned your head towards his, and he lifted himself out of the water and hovered over you when his tail became two long, clothed legs. He looked at you too, and you daringly stared into his eyes. Within them you saw lust and desire, nothing more and nothing less. Well, there was something more, but you couldn’t decipher it. 

Hyunjin bent down and crouched next to you, cupping your cheek and gently caressing his thumb over reddening skin. He stared into your eyes, reading them, finding your scrambled thoughts. 

“You need to be good and listen to me. I can’t keep making you listen to me by using my voice, but if you make me, then I will. Am I understood, Captain? Nod your head if you understand, pretty girl.” 

You nodded your head. You did understand, but the nodding of your head was not on your own free will. His touch made you burn more. There was something about his over looming presence that made you feel small. One thing you always hated was the belittling you dealt with when it came to being a woman in a pirate’s life. Always trying to act above you when you know damn well it’s for their own ego. However, Hyunjin was alluring to you, equally as much as you were to him. There was something about his confidence and dominance that made you horny instead of angry. Maybe it was because it wasn’t his ego talking, it was just who he was. He knew he was in control here, and that’s why he didn’t feel nervous around you. The other men who made comments towards you always ended up being the weakest. Not Hyunjin though, nothing about him seemed submissive. 

The horrible feeling in your stomach never subsided. It grew even more in the position you laid in, and you started to wonder if the wetness in your panties is more than the wetted undergarments from being dragged through the sea like a monster’s prey. Maybe the horrible feeling in your stomach was just your gut feeling telling you to get dicked, and there was something about the nearing presence that made the feeling grow. 

Sirens, you think to yourself, are lust filled devils that overwhelm one’s desires when they approach them. Their songs do not force falsified love into someone, but overpowers their primal desires more than they can bear, weakening them, and taking them as food. But why do they want to hurt us, and the sighted mermaids want to help us?

Hyunjin sang another tune, but it made the hypnotic effect wear off, almost like an anecdote. You didn’t move, too afraid for your body to not be your own anymore. 

“Tell me, Captain, do you want me?” He asked boldly. 

You looked him deep in his eyes. You wanted to deny it, you really did, but just as they claimed, he was as beautiful as they came, more than likely the most perfect one, even beating the gods’ beauty. You wanted him in many ways, and he wanted you all the same. Like the bold pirate you were, you spoke up. 

“Yes, I do. Do you want me?”

“Yes, surprisingly I do.” He wasn’t lying. You knew it, you could read lies, and even if it was in his powers to be able to lie without getting caught, this seemed too desiring to him. His breathing was barely steady at the start. He was struggling to hold back. 

He moved to plant himself between your legs and then moved his hand to your neck and applied pressure to the sides of it carefully, taking away some air, but not a lot. You gasped, trying to take back all the air he cut off but failed. 

“It actually pisses me off how much I want you. Do you know what I’m supposed to do with invasive pests like you?” He leans in closer. 

“I’m supposed to rip you apart, limb from limb, and drag you down in the deep to eat you…”

He comes closer, grip tightening, his mouth right to yours, hovering above it just barely. 

“But something in me, something about you, makes me want to rip you apart for my own sake, and I want to hear you cry my name while I do.”

He releases your neck and puts his lips to yours. As he makes contact, you kiss back. He isn’t sweet with it, you aren’t either. His kiss is rough, teeth hooking onto your bottom lip and tongue prodding its way into your mouth while he uses one hand to hold himself up and the other to roughly massage your breast while he rolls his hips between your legs to give your clit the smallest bit of tension. He rolls over with a rhythm, enough to make you let out small, pleading whimpers. He smiled, hearing you fall apart on nothing when he’s just begun. 

He moves, and he begins to peel off the damp clothes from your body. You want to shiver, you want to be cold when your entire naked body is exposed to the elements, but it only burns. You can barely think, and it’s no longer the lack of air’s fault or Hyunjin’s songs. It’s just how horny you are for this angelically handsome devil. He takes off the rags that hide him as well. The sight of his slightly toned chest and thin stomach fills you with more desire than before. Then he removes his pants, and that makes your pussy throb the most. 

He leans back down to you, except he faces your core, and leans in for a meal. The spit from his tongue meeting your untouched folds makes you shudder, and you grab his hair and pull him closer on instinct. His tongue licks in and out of your vagina and messily makes his way to your clit where he sucks on it and nips on it slightly. Your sensitivity is so intense that you feel yourself leak a bit more over his face. He continues his assault on your clit while his hand makes his way to tease around your hole before entering one finger, and a few thrusts later adding a second. 

“Hyunjin, fuck-” You moan while he continues his actions. He takes his mouth off of your clit for a moment to say, “Good girl.” You gush at the nickname and turn your head to the side to hide from how excitedly the praise made you feel. 

The knot in your stomach was ready to be untied. Your quiet whimpers and moans got louder and increased, which signaled him to pick up the pace a little faster. 

“Whenever you’re ready. Just sail with the wind, Captain.” 

As soon as he said that, you released onto him and rode out your high as he calmed his movements before pulling away. Your eyes felt heavy, your body felt relaxed, but you didn’t want to stop there. Hyunjin didn’t either. You fell limply onto your back when Hyunjin moved himself from you. 

“Hey, there, pirate, we aren’t done with this voyage of ours yet.”

Looking down at you, he bent down and picked you up by your hips, moving you to sit in front of a rock on your knees. The rock was at your eye level. Hyunjin sat on top of the rock. He slightly flinched at the coolness of the rock against his ass, but he warmed up to it quickly. He spread his legs, leaving his dick out, and the perfect space for you to crawl in and suck him off. You stared at his long, hard dick while it waited for attention. 

“Hey, princess,” Hyunjin snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Get to it.”

You crawled to him on your knees, head bowing down in embarrassment, but Hyunjin grabbed the roots of your head and pulled you close to his dick. “Open.” And you did. You opened your mouth wide and took him in while he kept his hold on your roots for physical control. You bobbed your head up and down, moving your hand up to grab what you couldn’t reach, but Hyunjin stopped you. 

“You’re a Captain, aren’t you? Using your mouth to bark orders all day? Not to mention how much you unhinged your jaw to take me. If your pretty mouth can do those things, then you can suck my whole cock without taking a shortcut with your hands.” He pushed your head all the way on his cock, making you gag, but he ignored it. He kept this up, barely letting you breathe. All he did was assault your throat with each thrust making him groan at your warm, wet walls that felt like heaven’s touch. You could feel your throat become sore, but you honestly didn’t want to stop him. There was something about the way he sounded and his control over you that made you want to please him forever. 

Not long later, his groaning increased and became louder. He was going to cum soon, and you could tell when he pushed your head into cock faster. 

“Fuck!” He moaned when he felt cum spurt from his tip. He calmed his pushing, but he made you keep your mouth around his cock until he was fully finished, then he withdrew himself and forced you to swallow all of it. 

Drool was falling down your chin, your jaw and throat hurt, your scalp was slightly burning, but your eyes were glazed over, wanting even more of him. You felt like you were floating, the pain in your body making your pussy wetter. Even though you felt like Hyunjin was controlling your body with the way he used you like a toy, a new melody filled in your ears making the ache in your body reside. Each tune he sang seemed to do a different thing, but each of them were helpful in the situation you found yourself in. This tune didn’t put you in his control, but it rather settled you to be comfortable for what he was going to do next. 

Hyunjin stood up and looked down at you while you remained on your knees. He brought his hand underneath your chin and forced you to look into his eyes. 

“Tell me your name.” He spoke. His tone was stern. It wasn’t like the way he spoke before, this was a hard command. You weren’t sure why he was so stern about your name and not the intense oral sex you performed on him moments ago.  

“It’s Syrena.” You lie. 

Hyunjin grips your chin tighter and glares daggers at you. 

“You’re lying. Tell me your name.” 

“Ariel.” 

Hyunjin pushed your head to the side harshly before bending down and grabbing you by the base of your neck and forcing you to look at him again. This time he’s much closer. He’s more intimidating this way, and you feel your stomach jump. 

“Lie to me again, and see what happens. Tell me your name or I will leave you here to die.”

“My name is Y/N. Captain Y/N.” 

“Now was that so hard, Y/N?” You glared at him, tempted to rip out of his grasp and kill him on the spot, but you didn't. You stayed put because your sinful temptations were getting the best of you. 

“Captain, Y/N.” You corrected him. Even though he’s been calling you pet names since you got there, now you were starting to grow tired of his taunting and teasing. You let him have his fun, but now you wanted your respect back. However, you were basically willing to do anything for him to fuck you at this point, but you didn’t want to admit that. 

“No, no, no,” He paused, lifting you by your hips again and sitting himself back on the rock. “You are no captain to me.” He sat you slightly on his lap, grabbing his dick and teasing your clit. Your arms were wrapped around his neck to keep you up. The feeling made you whine loudly. He smirked, slowly pushing his head into your soaked cunt until his long length was fully inside you. Your head fell back, and your mouth opened without control as you let out of the loudest moan you could muster. He used his hand to bring you back to face him and look into his piercing gaze again. Your mouth stayed open, moaning with each small thrust he gave as he pushed himself into you, but keeping most of his dick inside you. 

“You are just a pathetic, cock-hungry, submissive, girl.” He said between his small thrusts. 

“H-h-hyunjin, please.” You plead. He gives an evil smile and lets go of your neck making it fall back again. He stood up, holding onto you, bringing you off of his cock almost entirely before harshly thrusting himself back inside. You couldn’t control your reaction, even if you tried. You screamed in pleasure, the noises echoing off the grotto’s walls. He continued to plow into you, but it was enough to ensure it was pleasurable for the both of you and not just his own selfishness. 

“Hyunjin! I can’t- Fuck!” You moaned. 

“Yes, you can. Fucking take it.” He growled, fucking into you harder. 

“Ah- I can’t, please!” The pleasure was insane, impossible to describe. Then, again, there was another new melody that rang through your brain, and you felt like you were floating. You were able to take whatever he gave you without worry, but the pleasure somehow doubled. Your eyes were oceans with the way the tears spilled from them each moment he didn’t stop. But everything was bliss. Everything was perfect. You felt more relaxed and calm than you ever had before. 

Hyunjin switched the positions you were in, lying your stomach against the rock, and your ass in the hair where he entered you from behind and held onto you by your head fucking into you even deeper. 

“My little pirate taking the cock of her enemy.” You wanted to correct him, tell him that your intention was to learn about them, not to hurt them, but that thought left your mind as soon as you had it. You couldn’t think. You were almost brain dead, only being able to feel everything he was giving you and more. 

“I’m gonna cum soon!” You managed to choke out. 

“Fuck, baby, me too.” He groaned back. 

“Ah, Hyunjin, please, I can’t hold it.” 

“Just a little bit. I’ll tell you when you can cum.” His stern voice was back, there was no choice whether you did or didn’t on your own terms. 

He moved out of you for a brief moment and turned you around to face him. Quickly and carefully he picked you up and thrusted his cock into you. You shoved your face into his neck, kissing and sucking and biting him to bare the orgasm building inside you. 

“Can I please-”

“Yes.”

As soon as you released, Hyunjin did too, fucking his cum into you while you moaned. He found your lips and kissed you while slowly walking towards the moonpool of water and allowed himself to fall in with you while you kissed him lustfully and passionately, and he did the same. 

In the water, you were lost, eyes open, but not having control. Hyunjin’s presence was not absent from you, but you still felt sexual pleasure. You weren’t sure how. 

Hyunjin was in front of you, facing you, and smirking. You looked at him, confused as to how you weren’t sinking without him holding you and without swimming. Then you realized you couldn’t feel your legs. You looked down, and your legs were replaced with a shining mermaid’s tale and extensions of a betta fish, just like Hyunjin’s, right in front of you. You noticed one betta fin of yours and his were connected. That was where the pleasure was located. 

You wanted to scream and cry. Hyunjin could tell, so he came closer to you. He held your face in his hands again, stroked your cheeks gently, and leaned in to kiss you. You happily kissed back. Within the midst of your kiss, your tails intertwined with the other, and you felt like you were floating again, but this time it wasn’t Hyunjin’s range of melodies, it was a tone that felt like love. You felt whole and safe. You didn’t freak out about the mermaid tale that now lined your body. 

Hyunjin moved away from your lips, grabbed your hand, and swam you towards the surface of the water. After breaking the surface, you began to speak, but he stopped you. “Don’t freak out. You will be fine.” 

The second his tail was entirely out of the water, he had legs again, and he helped you out of the water where the same thing happened to you. Hyunjin grabbed you again, and held you into his lap bridal style while leaning against a rock. He looked at you, and you looked at him. 

“Humans can’t have sex with mermaids or sirens without turning into one of us. It was a curse put on both humans and merfolk such as ourselves years ago when a human and a mermaid fell in love. However, a jealous sea witch grew envious of their relationship, and put a curse on mermaids that they’d become lust filled demons that killed humans that came near, and anytime a human had sex with one, their curse was to become them too.”

You looked at him dumbfounded. 

“What the fuck?” is the only thing you can muster. 

Hyunjin laughed and explained more in depth. 

“I wasn’t always like this. I was a human too. In fact I was a painter whom all the ladies fell in love over. I adored it. I adored their attention. One day, while I painted by the seaside, I heard a beautiful noise come from the water. I discovered a boy peeking out of the water. He extended his arm to me, I gave him my hand, and he pulled me in. Then, things escalated, and now I’m like this.”

“But I still don’t understand the mermaids and sirens thing. And why’d you have to do this to me? What the hell.” You felt a lot of emotions, but you weren’t as mad at being a siren than you thought you’d be. Depending on the conditions, being part fish could help yourself as a pirate captain.

“I barely understand myself, but I’ll try to explain more. It used to only be mermaids. That was it. Mermaids are beautiful creatures that swim in the sea and have beautiful voices that can do all sorts of things like lure people in and make them feel better. However, mermaids were never inherently evil. Their songs were meant to lure people in for good things, like steering life away from dangerous areas. However, the sea witch’s jealousy got the best of her. She wanted to be the one the human fell in love with, but instead it was someone else. Blinded by rage, she cursed any mermaid who dared fall into the lust trap. Oftentimes mermaids are used to resemble purity because of this, and they distract themselves from carelessly falling into anything that can change that. The sirens curse, it wasn’t just motivated sex, it was killing anyone who tried because the lust was so strong. When the mermaid was first turned into this monster, she kissed his neck, but began to rip it apart. The sexual desires began to settle after the fact, like killing someone brought down the hunger. No one has been able to find an alternative. As for me turning you… I couldn’t help myself. Ever since I saw you there was something about you I needed. It ached, in ways I couldn’t explain, and I knew you felt it too.”

You stared blankly at him in disbelief. Then you spoke up. 

“We weren’t coming to hurt you. My pirate ship is more of a learning experience. We discover things in the sea and tell others about it. We don’t harm anything, we just teach ourselves. Granted we know how to defend ourselves in an attack, but we came to study the mermaids, and we ended up in a killing trap. Now all of my men are dead.” Your voice turned cold by the end, just remembering the bloodshed of the battle you were ripped from for no reason. 

“But you began to attack, don’t deny that.” 

“It was self defense. We knew you were going to do something.” 

“I don’t doubt that. Even though I haven’t always been a siren, I can’t sit back and watch my newkind get slaughtered. I will defend them, and now you will too. You’ll learn to.” 

“Hyunjin, I didn’t want any of this.”

“But you were so beautiful, I had to have you. You’re mine; you belong to me. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be so off balance when I’m around, just like a bit ago when you lost everything the second I was completely near you. I hadn’t even started singing.”

He was right. You knew it too. He was the reason you felt off. He was the reason you were off balance and off guard and off everything. Now he’s the reason you’re part fish. 

“You can go back to being a pirate captain, if you so please, but I am so deeply infatuated with you, I couldn’t bear you to go. I don’t ever want you to leave me, Y/N.”

It was the way he stared deeply into your eyes that made you melt. There was no convincing melody of his to convince you to stay, though you must’ve had that too now if you were one of them. But his eyes, his pleading, and the slight fear you had of him kept you put on his lap. 

“Come, my treasure, explore the ocean with me.” He said, standing you up, and bringing you to the water, jumping in with you, grabbing your hand, and swimming off. 

Your tail made you swim as a pace that was hard to comprehend. You were out of the grotto and near the island you sailed off of in minutes rather than the days of voyage you spent. Hyunjin showed you all about the water, pointing out friends and foe, things to eat, ways to improve your life as a merfolk. 

Down in the water, the two of you faced the other where your betta fins touched, bringing you closer into a kiss. The two of you chased each other around, creating tiny waves in the water as you playfully messed around. 

Resurfacing from the water and staring at Hyunjin, he sang, 

“My heart is pierced by Cupid.

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me,

But my jolly sailor bold.” 

You smiled, happy to hear this song that he sang often. He sang it about you.

But little did you know, that song is the only reason you stayed with him.

Hyunjin found you perfect, so beautiful that he couldn’t let you go. He knew you would've left the second you had the chance, but he can’t let someone he’s besotted by go, so he’ll do what he can to keep you around a little longer. I mean, he did tell you that bullshit story about sirens and mermaids. Had he been turned into a siren by a boy with a freckled covered face? Yes. Was that witchy nonsense true? Of course not. But if you believed him, who cared? He turned you into a siren on his own, so he could keep you around forever. He was going to have you no matter what.

You are his treasure, not any of the pirates, his.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I really hate that it can be so hard to talk about the things Ed actually did wrong, because that's so much more of an interesting conversation than the discussion that so often happens where we feel the need to push back against the awful "oh no Ed's a big bad brown guy and he's irredeemable" takes.

Like, the stuff that gets thrown around? Boring. The toe thing was Izzy getting exactly what he wanted after intentionally goading a very specific behavior out of Ed; frankly given that Izzy admits himself on his deathbed that he'd had a pattern of knowingly abusing Ed for years I'm shocked by Ed's restraint in only shooting him in the leg. The crew, too, hated life on Ed's ship specifically because they now knew it could be different (that's what Archie's there to show us, she's literally just chillin), Ed never hurt anyone other than Izzy because that was a line he was unwilling to cross (wonder why?).

And the ways Ed actually fucked up and hurt people are just so much more interesting. Pushing Lucius was the worst thing he did in the show, easy. During his kraken spiral, he was very much behaving in line with what was expected of Blackbeard, but because these people are his friends who love him, it was so much worse for them. Watching your friend come out on deck and point a gun under his own chin? That's a horrible thing to see. The way Ed's suicide attempt is reliant on making his friends kill him? Pulling out all the stops to make these people hate him was extremely unfair to them.

And there's an interesting and not-at-all subtle point there, about how when a person is at this point of suicidal depression, where they are so utterly convinced they're unlovable, they can very easily hurt and push away the people who love them. It's like how in s1 we got the point with Stede's arc, about how being so convinced no one likes you and you ruin people that you only hurt them by leaving them. Ed learning that he never lost their love, that he's not a monster, is such an important part of his story, and you miss the point if you miss how he actually hurt them.

[random-fandom1984]

Hi hi hiii!

Saw you're taking requests, so I was wondering if I could request BW Cheetor with a Fem!S/O that is aquatic? Like, her beast mode is a squid/octopus, or a shark (or maybe even a mix of both if you wanna go that far), and alongside that, she has this sort of mermaid mode that's an in-between point of her beast mode and robot mode.

His Sea Goddess (BW! Cheetor x Cybertronian! Reader with an Octopus alt-mode)

Your stasis pod landed in an ocean, and it hit a rock on the way down, causing it to start the process of scanning for a beast-mode to survive on this planet, and it scanned a local Octopus.

You loved swimming. You swam in the river back and forth, even coming across the ship by the waterfall. That's when you met Cheetor. Well, more like he saw you and followed you.

When you did notice him, you started the conversation, you both got along, and the rest is history. You're usually not a social bot for you like being alone, so you striking up a conversation first was a surprise to you.

You both continued to hang out in secret because your dislike for groups. He would make you laugh from his stupid jokes and many dumb one liners, and you would entertain him with tricks and singing like you were putting on a show. It's strange, you don't like being social, but you like the dramatics.

The only reason the rest of the Maximals found out about you is because they and the Predacons were battling near one of your napping spots, the sounds waking you up and making you cranky.

You went up to the surface, and you fought and won against some of the Predacons before they retreated; it was like fighting the Kraken. Literally, the lower half of your body was like Ursula.

When being introduced, you kept a stoic expression and acted cold, but when it was Cheetor talking, you had a happy face and treated him like he was a childhood friend; it's obvious you have a favorite.

Now, your relations with everyone else. For Rattrap, he was basically how he was with Dinobot when he joined but was a bit more linnet and was met with the same kind of sass. You have his respect.

You and Rhinox are like brother and sister with your knowledge for inventions and technology, and with your extra arms/tentacles, you are always welcomed to help whenever he's working. 2-for-2 bud

Your relationship with Dinobot is kinda strained. You both don't like each other, but you both don't hate each other. It's basically looking into a mirror, but with a different reflection.

You get a weird feeling about Optimus, not the bad kind; it's a weird, good kind. Any invention you make, you show it to Optimus first if it would be good to used. If he approves, you feel a sense of euphoria that you made him proud; if he disapproves, saying that it's morally bad to make an invention that would destroy the Predacons in one fell swoop, you take in the information to better your projects- no you don't see him as a Sire! You don't know what Rattrap's talking about!

Cheetor, you've always had a good relationship with him. You heal him up when he gets injured after a battle or an accident, you always volunteer to go on scouting missions with him, you always assist him, you love seeing his cute smile everyday. Same thing with Cheetor! He would do anything for you, even if it's to make you laugh; he loves it.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew have to deal with watching the two of you pinning over each other, not even realizing your feelings for one another.

Bonus:

Rattrap: Hey, kiddo! So, you have a crush on the fish lady? Cheetor: ...I HAVE A CRUSH ON C/N?! Rattrap: You didn't realize it until now?! Later... Rattrap: So, fish brains, you have a crush on pussycat? C/n: ...I HAVE A CRUSH ON CHEETOR?! Rattrap: Oh, come on!

[psychologicalwarclaire]

10 for Rise. Gimme warcrimes duo >:]

Donnie didn't realize just how much Witchtown hated him until he wound up in front of the majority of the town at Hidden City court.

Witches of all kinds shouted over each other, listing crimes that Donnie most definitely had NOT committed.

"--trampled my mushrooms!"

"--released the kraken into our town fountain!"

"--totally demolished my self esteem!"

"--ATE MY CAT!!!"

"-- and destroyed the statue of our great founder!"

Okay that one he actually had done. In his defense, he hadn't meant to blast it with his tech bo. Defense, however, was something he was missing.

He glanced over at the judge. "I don't know how Hidden City trials work but isn't there supposed to be someone on my side? I mean, ahem, with my superb knowledge of everything I could absolutely provide my own defense but, uhm..." I don't really want to do this all on my own, he finished in his head.

All of Donnie's knowledge of courtroom proceedings came from a show he and Raph used to watch together. Raph loved watching the good guys solve crimes and fight bad guys. Donnie loved the mysteries and collection of evidence. Neither of them found the legal stuff super interesting, so they'd discussed the real life logistics of the crime (whether Donnie could commit it, whether Raph could catch him, and how they'd avoid getting caught) during those scenes. Donnie wished he'd payed more attention.

The doors flew open with a BANG.

"PURPLE TURTLE!" Casey Jones yelled. "I AM HERE TO PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE!"

Donnie blinked.

The jury all looked at each other like she'd made a brilliant point, muttering and nodding along.

The judge stroked his beard. "Good entrance. One point to the defense."

There were very few times that Donnie didn't have at least SOME idea of what was happening. Now was, unfortunately, one of those times.

Casey seemed to appear right next to him. "SO! Got yourself in trouble with Witchtown, eh?"

Flustered, Donnie could only think to say, "I didn't do it! Their accusations are entirely--"

"HEY! That's MY job!" She cleared her throat. "As I was saying, Witchtown is tough, but I'm tougher! You're lucky I took this case, otherwise you would already be rotting in Hidden City prison."

"I-- Casey why are you a lawyer in the Hidden City?" Things were spiraling entirely out of control.

Casey grinned her insane grin. "I love yelling, fighting, arguing, squabbling, debating, etc. Passing the exam was super easy, too! The laws here aren't any more complicated than the Foot Clan laws. You know, normally I'm on the offensive. But I am Hamato Clan now! I WILL NOT BETRAY MY CLAN!"

Donnie couldn't help but be impressed. "Huh. What a strangely fitting career choice for you."

"INDEED! And the lawyer to politician pipeline is extremely fast. I shall build my way up to becoming a mayor, senator, and eventually I shall be the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Junior has already signed on to be my vice president. Our slogan is either going to be: 'Jones and Jones: we'll feast on your bones' OR 'Vote Jones squared and your lives will be spared'. Catchy right?"

Donnie's mind was already buzzing with how his Genius Built brand could be expanded by personally knowing the president. "Casey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I will personally help fund your presidential campaign."

"Excellent! Now, we are in the middle of court so we can discuss that later."

"Oh yeah." Donnie had actually forgotten that he was literally on trial. Casey has the effect of being extremely distracting. "I need to tell you my alibi and--"

"Pffft, no need. What kind of court do you think this is?" Casey cracked her neck, and stretched her arms above her head.

The judge banged his gavel, which sent a shockwave across the room. The ground rumbled and the seats all slid back to open up a wide space in front of the stand. "We are now in session. Let prosecutor Gilby Gilbert of Witchtown and defendant Casey Jones of the Hamato Clan enter the ring."

The what?!

Gilby Gilbert, whom Donnie vaguely recognized from the Witchtown episode leapt into the ring. "That turtle is GUILTY!"

With a running leap, Casey Jones flipped into the ring and kicked him squarely in the chest. "Mr Hamato is more innocent than you and your corrupted, black market, embezzling town will ever be!"

The jury gasped.

"Flair, solid hit, AND a plot twist! Three more points to the defense!" the judge ruled.

Donnie was now very glad he had not been the one to plead (punch?) his own case.

"Turtle boy is against everything we stand for!" Gilby choked from inside a headlock.

"Since your treasury records show illegal trade with criminals AND many Witchtown officials who have been pocketing those funds, I'd say it's a good thing that Mr Hamato stands against you, you LOWLIFE!" Casey released the headlock, only to kick her opponent to the ground and curb stomp him.

Donnie was no longer worried.

In fact, as he watched Casey continue to kick Gilby (who had curled into a ball), he actually smiled. Perhaps the answer to science vs magic was brute force.

He had decided that when this trial was over and he and Casey had officially won, he was going to make her a fashionable Genius Built lawyer suit. He'd make it easily torn away to give her more points in style.

It was the least he could do.

[neonfretra]

nhl teasm...

my team loyalties immediately dissolve in favor of the funniest possible outcome. florida i will willingly curse you for a game seven sharks interview, vgk you mean nothing to me if it means the yotes sweep you, kraken you mean nothing to me if it means a sharks shutout, the san jose sharks will never be usurped in the chain of preference because they are gods personal sacrificial lamb and every joy they experience is like blood in the water and my heart hungers like a mouthless stomach.

for sake of readability i refer to teams by name here, sorry if this shows up on your favsies team tags </3

every single team WILL be discussed in terms of the sharks . be warned .

nhl teams tier list below the cut because i yap too much for a cute graphic. our conversations arent long but you know what is. its this. dont talk to me at all, actually.

MY teams!!!

San Jose Sharks

san jose sharks u are the only thing that has ever mattered 2 me. pickles cup on the HORIZON and RAPIDLY APPROACHING.

MY GIRLS......!!!!! if you want to love a team make a primer about them. i think of everything hockey relative to the sharks. i can name most of their players.! (it takes me genuine conscious thought to tell apart cmd, drai, lars because of their similar facial hair for reference. luke kunin and justin bailey though NO PROBLEM ^_^)

fighting team through and through! who CARE if we down two and got twenty seconds remaining, players WILL be gunning down the ice...! its always a bit of a shock to watch other teams just kinda. wander about?

people who like winning will tell you that the important part of the sport is winning. wrong! it is HONOR and WHIMSY. and sometimes IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF NIHILISM . i think its good for you to root for a basement team. really gets you out of that winning is everything mentality cause if i got my feelings too wound up about how the sharks performed i would not have a blood pressure measurable by conventional means anymore

also, nothing on this team is permanent. i look at old rosters and can name like. five of them. we made the MOST moves at the trade deadline. every single captain has had trade rumors going around about them. somehow, we are still living on the high of that game seven. you know the one.

there are four people in the lb tag on a good day. if you are joining the sharks fandom hi! ^_^ sorry for takin your favorite guy!

BEST DRESSED TEAM IN THE LEAGUE!!! our logo? CUNT. our teal? CUNT. our cute little teal helmets to go with visiting uniforms? CUNT. our black alternate jerseys? CURSED AS ALL HELL. also, CUNT. over 5% of our wins this season happened in the califin jersey which is to say ONE GAME. and we looked GOOD AS HELL doing it. year one of the team, sharks sold the MOST merch in the league because our logo before the current logo? CUNT.

i think the sharks makes me a worse person.

Seattle Kraken

my first team! ^_^ really awesome and active community on tumblr, i really like the community wide decision to be whimsical through thick and thin, if you want to get into hockey id definitely suggest them !!! sports are a social interest to me <3

also, one of the best dressed teams IMO! LOVE the red accents (& how they use black in their visiting jerseys), and especially a fan of how their goalies gear picks up on it!

also, the pride runs deep team, the put a tentacle on a pride flag dont even need to mention its for hockey team

also, i love their fish toss. the past tense of yeet is NOT yaught.

i recognize a quite a few of their players! unfortunately, quite a few of their players are prone to injury. hope they resign QUITE A FEW OF THEIR PLAYERS. ^_^

Vegas Golden Knights

HEEL TEAM!!! hate them or love them you NEED them for your narratives. and GOLLY do people hate them! this has made me root for them more. haters be strong, but by god i stay stronger xoxo

a team you DEFINITELY need a sense of humor to love publicly tho. this blog SUPPORTS taking weeks if not months long sick leave <- literally a sharks fan, if u arent feeling 100% get your rest AND get your paycheck im so serious

i think they need to DOUBLE DOWN on being the most las vegas thing to ever be outside of las vegas! they got glittery gold jerseys! pyrotechnics on every home goal! the big tacky slot machine! gold helmets! the whole opening segment! vgk become the disney villain team u were always meant to be!

also, tomas hertl is on this team. tomas hertl i miss u. everyone may be mad gm mike grier traded him to a franchise rival but hes a wizard TO ME for getting ltir resident hertl to a team he wanted to be on!!! please win a cup for tommy vgk

sharks exwifes teams

Tampa Bay Lightning

anthony duclair you are just as beautiful as you were the day i lost you ...

also, i am LEGITIMATELY infatuated by their storm jerseys (image from the unofficial nhl uniforms database)

girl i want you so bad

would you believe this jersey personally shot up my opinion of them

Dallas Stars

joe pavelski makes me feel hit song "its over isnt it" from show steven universe emotions. hes THE shark exwife. hes been gone for 5 years (goinf on six!) and every time we play against the stars they keep having long lingering shots on pavs and randomly bringing up how hes SUCH a great player ohhhhh pavs youre the greatest thing we have ever lost... they do this after someone else has scored a goal btw LMAO. i genuinely get surprised when i watch a cast with the stars that ISNT lingering on pavs. have a good retirement pavs <3

the second player i recognized the face of on the stars was mason marchment because he has piercing blue eyes and strikingly dark eyebrows. hes orbs.

i think their plaioffs thing was funny as hell. i dont even read it like. ai as in artificial intelligence, ive been reading pl-eye-offs. theyre funny for that + getting dragged for it, apparently? i hope they do it again (& get dragged again)

im sorry dallas stars for personally cursing you to lose round 2.

im also sorry dallas stars for writing almost entirely about joe pavelski here . he haunts the sharks so bad. i actually did start rooting for the stars because of him though LMAO

HI ID ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT WE GOT TY DELLANDREAS FROM THIS TEAM! i love snatching everyones beloved players this cant keep happening

my friends teams (that i have imprinted on like a duckling) ^_^ hey speakin of ducks

Los Angeles Kings

BEST PENALTY KILL IN THE LEAGUE! <- dont fact check me

i like making up silly ways of referring to game terminologies and the kings are an endless supply of on theme jokes <3

.i was made fond through word of big save dave and i personally love watching everyone shadow box with the ghost of la kings

i regularly followed them in the regular season ^_^ and then the post season happened .i think i may have cursed them terribly

PLEASE LET YUOR YOUNGER PLAYERS IN . PLEEASDE.

Anaheim Ducks

team i am fond of but never watch the games of because they overlap with every other team i watch LMAO

i was um. also made fond of them through their goalies. i may be predicable. THEE if a goalie makes more than 50 saves in a game and still lose then they have the right to chase they team around with a machete team

but maybe the REAL way to my heart is a team that is healthy (do you remember healthy centers and veteran presence) and law abiding (one of the most penalized teams) that loves doing things like completing passes (um. <3) . which you will

also, witnessed the funniest exchange on one of my posts of like. two or three people? realizin that the ducks new logo is a duck foot

also, i think the seattle series has been one of the most bizarre series of events ive watched by far

Minnesota Wild

you are like an in law to me

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST. wild is like up there as one of tumblrs popular teams to me! alongside the kraken and. the pens? idk i stay to ONE corner of the internet (the sharks) i think the community is very sweet :)

also, i think the 7-10 game with the canucks was hysterical, that was the only time ive watched back a game and it was worth it 100%

also, i have drawn one of your players with cat ears its OVER for nyall

Edmonton Oilers

i know nothing about your players. darnell nurse 5 own goals i wambt you

ANOTHER TEAM YOU NEED A SENSE OF HUMOR TO LOVE PUBLICLY .! godspeed oilers mutuals yall are like a beautiful ant raft to me. hold on tight together! ^_^

also, we beat the oilers this year and are noted career low for a guy named cmd if you know him . IDK hes a lil underground . so like. >:3

sharks exwives teams the sequel

Calgary Flames

nikita okhotiuk you are the worlds funniest girl to me. gets traded on the trade deadline, plays 9 games total, BREAKS IIHF RESTRICTION TO PLAY FOR CSKA MOSCOW. WORD ON THE STREET THEY STILL WANT HIM BACK. i dont know nothing about the flames otherwise LMAO guys . guys i miss okhie . my turnover princess.... .

i feel like everyone i know has beef with them. um. my beef is that they scored 13 against the sharks that one time in 1993.?

please god stop playin scary

Pittsburgh Penguins

exwife exhead coach/cheerleader david quinn i miss you and your web of connections and networkin like no other...! seriously he knows like. everyone. gets along with everyone and has a strange and unusual beef with sweet cousin kevin labanc. .and hes connectionsing and networkining out there with the pens! ^_^ comin full circle if you even CARE!!!

i root for these teams for absurd reasons

Ottawa Senators

i root for them when idc about who they against because theyre my brother in basement

Nashville Predators

roman josi

i have pavlovs dogged myself into getting hype as hell over him from this image. no i dont want to talk about it

i could not pick him out of a lineup BTW this is the only photo of him i look at

i think they could afford to be even more yellow in uniform

if you asked me to tell you one thing about this team id genuinely run empty

its all goalies and sharks associations . i have nothing to defend myself with here

Carolina Hurricanes: i know like... 3? of your players who are deeply endearing to me and nothing else. yeah one of them is a goalie can you look the other way please (pyotr kochetkov, seth jarvis, brent burns)

Detroit Red Wings: alex lyon is on this team! i miss radim simek . hes not dead we just snatched him off the cuda captaincy and sent him to detroit.

Philadelphia Flyers: they have gritty on this team and also sam ersson!

Arizona Coyotes/Utah Somethings: i thought their yotes logo was the cutest thing :( they matched with the roadies! honestly massively bummed we dont get the yotes on account of WILD as hell management decisions utah somethings is NOT a snub btw, ive seen the sharks cast refer to them as that and i think its really funny. the blue in the uniforms is cute though ^_^

St. Louis Blues: we series swept them! sorry stl anything for tommy

Boston Bruins

Buffalo Sabres

New York Islanders

Vancouver Canucks

Montreal Canadiens

Chicago: i know two different people that said they played better hockey wearing a chicago jersey . their opinions of this differ WILDLY. if you play hockey, consider it. for science.

i regularly forget/confuse these teams

Winnipeg Jets+Columbus Blue Jackets

i forget the cbj exist regularly igm so sorry. i confuse them with the winnipeg jets because i keep thinkin theyre both planes. who i also gorget with astonishing regularity . i dont know nothing about either them beyond that

Florida Panthers

i genuinely have a really hard time telling them and the preds apart????? NOT EVEN THE SAME COLORS BUT OKAY!

darling of the playoffs RN i think! i like the playoffs, everyone gets so mean LMAO

keep fans in your thoughts at this time because BOY HOWDY. THEY NEED IT.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I FIRGOT THEY EXISTED TOO. I WAS SCROLLING NHL DOT COM SLASH TEAMS TO MAKE SURE I GOT THEM ALL AND . THEY ARE AT THE BOTTOM BECAUSE I GORGOT THEM. IM SORRY TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS. also, mario ferraros childhood team ^_^

i dont hate them BUT...

New Jersey Devils

but also one half of an employee mackblack said they had him play before he was totally ready to come back on an injury ONSE TIME!! and ive not trusted them since

also one half of an employee kaapo kahkonen is on this team! he played 6 games, lost 4, got injured in 2, and the only game hes won was his season first shutout.

they have VERY pretty promotional graphics and also eyebrows

a lot of sharks go to the devs and vice versa which is always really funny ^_^ we got at LEAST four devs-to-sharks guys off the top of my head (we traded okhie and got vitek vanecek, maintaining the delicate balance of it all) and the devs got timo mimo. who also got very pretty eyebrows. timo mimo...

New York Rangers

but hey what are they doing to exwife barclay goodrow over therr . when i said i wanted him to win a third cup i didnt mean i needed him to do it in the era of the pickles comeback . his um??? his contract terms???

nyr yuo are nothing to mme and i wish five thousand years of famine upone you . san jose sharks i do NOT think we shoulda been able to do this. its just a workers rights thing hello

Washington Capitals

but CAP FRIENDLY. GIVE IT BACK. actually seething with rage at this new development. you must understand . if you want to love a team make a primer about them. if you want to love accessible databases write a primer.

also WAIT WAIT BEAUTIFUL FAILHORSE PIERRE LUC DUBOIS IS ON THIS TEAM NOW? please make sure you give him a sparkly star sticker if he does well a game and also peel his tangerines for him and also

[mack-devereaux]

Comfort

Vince Dunn

Authors note: Vince is my comfort player. I love him. So it’s only fitting that I write about him in a comfort fic. No clue on word count. Pictures are from Pinterest. I think the only trigger is like 3 curse words? And a little bit of angst, just a tiny bit.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~

Isn’t it strange? There are so many people out there who secretly love someone. And yet there are so many people who have no idea that someone secretly loves them.

~~~~~~

Vince was new to Seattle. He had just gotten traded, he knew it was coming, but yet he wasn’t prepared for how much of a difference it would be. In St. Louis he had his friends. But here, he was so new he didn’t have friends yet and with his family in Canada he was struggling trying to settle in. He just wanted someone to talk to and hang out with. His floor in his apartment complex was very quiet, as far as he knew there were only two tenants, him and a very very quiet person, as far as the other rooms, they were used for storage. He never saw his neighbor nor had he heard them when they came and went. Until today that is, he was texting on his phone while walking down the hallway when all of a sudden something, or someone, smacked right into his chest.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention I—“ the cute blonde stopped speaking immediately when she looked at him “wow your eyes are really pretty.” Vince grinned. Kinda taken aback by the chatty girl. “Oh I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m sorry, I’ll pay more attention next time” the girl stuttered.

“It’s really not a big deal. I’m Vince” he stuck out his hand. The girl took his hand and she swore electricity shot up her arm. “Y/n” she smiled dropping her hand and reaching for her apartment keys.

“Well for the record y/n you have very beautiful eyes as well” he added with a wink and a panty dropping smile. He felt an odd sense of calm and peace when they touched hands. “Do you flirt with all your neighbors Dunner?” She asked.

“Wait how do you—“ his eyebrows pinched together, she knew who he was.

“I work for the Kraken sometimes. I’m one of the extra medics they call in when you guys get too crazy out there. It’s my job to know who you guys are. But you should get going before you’re late to training” she leaned into her doorway of her apartment.

“Shit, yea. Well I guess I will see you around then, don’t be a stranger. You can come hang out anytime, I’m only a door away” he smiled and started to walk down the hall to go to the gym. Looking back over his shoulder he noticed her watching him “you too Vince”.

*a few weeks later*

Y/n was sitting on her couch alone, only because Vince was out of town on a roadie. She didn’t realize how much she had gotten used to his presence until he was gone. Literally. He was constantly in her apartment, and if he wasn’t at her place she was at his. At this point they were the equivalent to roommates. Vince tried to convince himself it was because he felt calm and peace around her, not that he had a massive crush on her. He made the mistake of telling his friend Sam about her and he hasn’t heard the end of it.

Y/n wasn’t mad about constantly having the cute hockey player in her apartment over the last few weeks, however she did wish he gave some heads up when he came over though. There’s been many times he just barged in when she was looking like a mess or had just crawled out of bed with her hair everywhere. He claimed it was a cute look for her but she was still mortified. He was like sex on legs, he constantly looked amazing. Between his dark curls and his bright green eyes she knew she was fucked. Plus his constant flirting and the need for physical touch was not helping her case. She quickly picked up that physical touch was how he needed reassurance. He always mentioned how she kept him grounded and not in his head, she took that as a huge compliment, he didn’t seem like the type to let people in very easily.

Her phone vibrated on the table, bringing her out of her trance she had fallen into, she reached out and saw a text from Vince.

From Dunner 😈:

Hey babygirl, you able to talk?

Babygirl, the name he called her when it was just them, she loved it. It often became Babe around his friends and teammates. But she wasn’t mad about that nickname either. She hit the call button and waited for him to answer.

“Someone’s impatient” she rolled her eyes when he answered.

“You’re the one who texted me, I figured it would be a waste of time by texting you, just to have you call me” y/n explained.

“That’s fair. What are you up to?” He said, he sounded tired.

“Laying on my couch” y/n said.

“Sexy, what are you wearing” he smiled.

“Vince” she rolled her eyes “don’t make it weird.”

He laughed “come on babygirl live a little, I know you’re wearing my shirt.”

Glancing down she scoffed “no I’m not” yes she was, “How was your game” she quickly changed subjects.

“I knew it” he grinned biting his lip. He loved when she wore his clothes. “It was good, did you watch?”

“I always do” she sighed “when do you come back?”

“I knew you missed me” he chirped.

“Quit teasing me or I will hang up” she pouted. Messing with the hem of the worn out shirt.

“No you won’t, you miss me too much. But I’ll be back in a few days babe” he yawned.

“I’m gonna fall asleep soon” she said also yawning.

“You should stay up, I wanna keep flirting with you” he whined.

“You’re ridiculous” she laughed.

“You never flirt back, it’s boring” he said.

“Umm yes I do, you’re just super attractive and it makes me nervous to flirt with you too much, I never know when you’re being serious” she laughed.

“I’m always serious babe” he said, after a note of silence on her end he added “get some sleep, I’ll talk to you tomorrow yeah?”

“Yeah, goodnight Vince.”

As y/n hung up he looked at his lock screen photo of them. They were out at a club with the team, she was in a dark blue dress and he was wearing a black t shirt and dark jeans. She was sitting on his lap with his arm around her back and they were taking selfies. He had just touched her exposed shoulder with his cold beer bottle when she jumped. Then he snapped a photo of them mid laugh. It was his favorite picture of them. For as much as he teased her about her missing him, he was certain he missed her way more. Being away from her was weird. Especially since they had only met a short while ago. He’s never clicked with someone this quick before. He didn’t know what to make of it. His friend Sam had tried giving him advice on asking her out but he wasn’t sure how she felt about the situation. A text came through bringing him back to reality.

From Babygirl 🥵:

Goodnight 💕

To Babygirl 🥵:

Goodnight babe

~~~~~~

We looked at each other just a little too long to be just friends.

~~~~~~

*a few weeks later*

Y/n was adding some final touches to her makeup before she heard her door unlock.

“I’m coming!“ she shouted as she grabbed a hair tie to throw on her wrist. She walked out into the living room seeing Vince drop his duffel bag by the door, he was wearing a dark game day suit and his curls were styled perfectly. It’s a shame that hair will be covered by a helmet soon. Damn he looked good.

“You ready?” He asked.

“Yeah, just let me grab a few things,” she grabbed her purse and her water bottle. She was going to the game tonight because they were playing the Canucks, the Kraken tend to get a little rough with each other when they played teams close to them. Mainly because the crowd was always intense and got the energy going in the arena. So naturally Vince had convinced her to carpool with him, with games like this he always got a little hotheaded. Just having y/n around him seemed to keep him calm. Which he would need after tonight’s match up with their Canadian neighbors. She was his first friend here, and somehow between the late night talks and flirting he had fallen for her. Even some of the teammates had noticed how he kept her close to him, literally and figuratively. Little did he know that she had fallen for him too. How could she not. The two of them just fit so perfectly together. The drive to the game was filled with flirty banter and small talk.

~~~

The game was a bloodbath. Penalties were called left and right. Players were coming off the ice like crazy with cuts and bloody noses and injuries constantly. It was a good thing they called in backup, which they definitely utilized. She was right behind the players bench watching everyone with such intensity, even the other team. The end of the second period was nearing, she couldn’t wait for the team to have an intermission to cool down. The energy in the arena was out of this world. She had been to plenty of games before, but none had been this intense.

Then it happened, gloves came off and it was a blur of blue and white wrestling on the ice, punches and insults thrown around like nothing. She forgot how to breathe once she realized it was Vince who was fighting. As a medic she was used to blood, especially at the hockey games, it never bothered her but it was different seeing Vince bloody. She wasn’t sure how long they had been fighting. After what felt like a lifetime the refs finally ripped the players apart. Vince immediately going towards the bench, he was yelling. The teams physician pulling him to the side and down the tunnel checking for any major injuries. They had moved so fast it didn’t register to y/n that they were halfway to the locker room already.

“No, I want y/n! Please!“ Vince shouted. Y/n snapping out of her frozen stance she followed the physician down the tunnel and into the locker room where she heard him shouting. As she turned the corner she immediately went for gloves and gauze. Throwing her hair up in a bun the physician was explaining what she needed to do, he had his hands full with this game, she was happy to help but still in shock that Vince was the one she was tending to. “No concussion, but we need the cut on his lip and cheek cleaned up and check his teeth for any other bleeding. He’ll return for the 3rd period. When you’re done with him send him where the rest of the team is. Oh and check his shoulder too, he took a nasty hit.”

“Yep. Got it” she said as she was washing her hands and putting gloves on to look at his face. As she stepped in front of Vince she grabbed his face gently making him look at her, still in shock over what she had witnessed. Yes she knew hockey was a violent sport. Yes she knew there were lots of injuries. But seeing Vince get hurt and in a fight was something she wasn’t prepared for. He was breathing hard, still pissed off about the call and the fight. But as soon as y/n was in front of him he felt better. She was explaining what she was doing, and asking permission to clean him up. He wasn’t listening, he knew she had to do that for her job. He leaned forward and just hugged her waist, leaning his head into her side, not saying anything. His breathing still heavy but starting to even out.

“Vince, I need to clean that cut,” y/n sighed.

“Y/n please. I need to calm down. Just—Please.” He was wound up, he tried to keep his voice level, not wanting her to hear him yell. So she let him, his sweat and probably blood going on her shirt. She just stood there and rubbed his back, well she tried to rub his back. It was hard with all the pads and gear on. After about 5 minutes of him just hugging her he finally pulled away. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at him, he nodded to her and she started looking at his injuries. He never looked away from her face. He notices the grey swirls in her eyes, she was holding back tears, the long black lashes, the freckles lightly dotting across her nose.

The cuts weren’t bad, and his shoulder was fine. Relief flooded her, when she was done she took her gloves off and threw everything away, “Vince, are you ok” she said looking at him. He was already looking at her.

“I’m ok” he breathed out “thank you baby girl.” He stood up and kissed her on the forehead, letting his lips stay there for a second longer than he should have, and walked to where the rest of his team was. She let out a huge sigh and sat down. After a minute she walked back to the bench for the last period.

The game ended in overtime with the Kraken winning. Y/n was charting and filling out paperwork when the team was finishing up post game interviews and showers. Vince walked around the corner to meet y/n by the team parking, and they walked together to his car. Once in the car Vince’s hand soon found its way to y/ns thigh, still needing some sort of comfort from her, she set her hand on top of his and intertwined their fingers. They said nothing the entire way home. Not even as he grabbed her hand and walked past her door straight to his apartment. It was rare that he was this quiet after games. They always fell so easy into conversations, but she didn’t dare speak first this time. She sat on the couch as he went into his room to change. After a few minutes he came out and handed her one of his old shirts, she walked to the bathroom to change. She grinned once she saw it was her favorite shirt of his, a very worn out hockey shirt from when he played for the Icedogs in his OHL days. It fell to her mid thigh, which was fine, she normally wore boy short underwear so she wasn’t super uncomfortable in just the shirt.

As she walked out of the bathroom she saw him in the kitchen. His sweatpants hanging low on his hips. She could see the tension in his back muscles still. She walked up to him and just hugged him from behind, even though he towered over her. He turned around and lifted her up to where she was sitting on the counter and his hands were on either side of her legs. They stared at each other for a minute. Y/n reached out to brush his curls off his forehead. He leaned into her touch and as she went to grab the side of his face he grabbed her hand a kissed the back of it.

“Y/n. I am sorry for what happened earlier.”

“Vince, I’ve seen you fight before it’s not a big deal, I just panicked for a second when I saw that you were the one hurt, and with everyone screaming that loud in there I just shut down.“

“ No, let me finish please.” He sighed, “it’s not that. I—fuck. He made a comment about you and it set me off. Y/n you give me a sense of calm that I’ve never had before. I’m pretty hotheaded and get worked up pretty easy out there. You’re the only thing that can calm me down, and that terrifies me. Every time I’m around you I just feel peace, and comfort. I’m not sure how to explain it, and I know it sounds dumb but I just need you to stay with me.”

“Vince I’m not leaving, you make me feel the same. I’m not sure when it happened for me either but everything is easy with you. I don’t want it to stop” Y/n said.

“Can we go to bed then? Just relax for the night?” Vince looked at her.

“Yes.”

[fountian-of-youth]

Dr.kraken's file

Former Name: Mikhail ivan sokolov

Current name: mikhail ivan Scott (only his husband is allowed to say his name since he's the only one who knows it )

Code name : Dr.kraken

Birth date: Dec 19 1969

Rank: all Access doctor /scientist

Age: 55

Appearance:

Species: cybernetic human

Abilities: use tendrils to pick up things / stab / crawl. Super human strength and speed , cross any kind of terrain

Weakness: his more human part are weaker and vulnerable, his pride and ego , his God complex

Personality; snarky and manipulative asshole who turns your words against you. Sadistic as hell only seeing people who don't agree with him lower than dirt to walk on. Pure evil scientist doctor

Additional information: he knows morse and nonbinary code , has huge knowledge of animals and biology. He has the fear of death

Backstory: growing up kraken was raised in a rich family only child to two wonderful parents who were advocating for echo friendly things. His father was a multi owner of tech companies that aimed to keep echo friendly.

While his mother was a fashion designer who reuse fabric and other things to not create waste unlike others. Both were doting and loving parents who loved their son to death. Both did their best to try and raise kraken right.

But ever since he came out the womb he had always been different ... .when he was four that was when he was officially diagnosed with autism. Now his parents were victims to the idea of the 1940 autistic views where it's described simply here

a lack of imagination, a lack of hallucinatory thought, a lack of creativity and a lack of dreams

Essentially his parents thought he was stuck being a child who couldn't think for himself or really become an adult who stride forward through life without their guidance. Which has the two trying their best to raise kraken but most times don't work as they couldn't properly discipline him without feeling guilty.

Of course kraken wasn't some empty husk , he was very much just a high masking autistic person. He was very scarily and supported by his parents into biology and science especially with animals and nature. He had grown up always watching those animal documentaries and became that animal lover kid.

Of course he took it more extreme, always asking what it would be like to have fangs of a snake , the ability to shoot blood out the eyes like thorny devils. Ect

This landed him as the weird kid in school where kids to teen years mocked and taunted him for being so weird. The highschool years he was very much bullied for having the name Mikhail because during the time he grew up. His parents fell for some scams landing them in being less rich and almost poor. Only thing keeping the family up float was the fact they could work many jobs in their field.

Due to being bullied and picked on it caused kraken to despise other people and see them as nothing but dirt to walk on. Focusing on his interests he was able to get into engineering using nature to fuel his works and machines while also dabbling in biology to craft serums and DNA extraction methods.

By the time he was an adult his parents had fully become poor and were living off government support to keep their son going to the colleges that accepted him for his strange smart mindset. Which kraken graduated with no problem and got himself into a science route job to earn stable earnings.

He became more sadistic when he turned 21 , where accidentally running over a homeless person led him cutting up the body and finding out how humans are not so different from animals ....and his deranged idea of immorality clicked.

"if death can be conquered...no one could stop me from pursuing answers to my questions "

He caught urban shade’s interest when he hit his late twenties (precisely around 27) showing off his methods. To prove he would do anything for the company called urban shade , he quite literally murdered his own parents and used their corpses to demonstrate how the DNA extraction works and how his version of administering DNA worked a bit faster then the current methods urban shade used.

Their last words to their son were quoted to be " "no matter what ...even now we still love you son "

Only for him to reply with "your love been nothing but wood to my fire , goodbye mum, dad may you rest in what ever void you seek " in the most sadistic and cold tone

Same methods used when z-13 was taken into custody for experiments . Kraken was 34 at this age and was not involved in the group that operated on the experiment. In fact he was doing his own project as he wanted to grant humanity the ability of immorality.

When he was around 53 he had made a breakthrough with his project called “ fountain of youth”. The serum was perfect and ready to be shown but needed time to set. So kraken took a day off to go and celebrate his success in the Philippines where unfortunately. A combination of accidentally getting tricked to eat some drugs and alcohol caused him to drive drunk.

Leading to a crash where he ran into z-013253 when the entity was still human and not in custody of urban shade. This crash has caused urban shade trouble to hide and cover up as they didn't want it to be public. Their scientist caused a crash being drunk and on drugs. This crash also horribly disfigured and left kraken in horrible condition where to be useful he paid with what money to get his body cybernetically enhanced to walk and move again.

He also has obtained the fear of death which spurred him to want to focus more on his fountain of youth project.

He was demoted down a rank to where he would be constantly supervised till he can prove he can make up for his mistakes with HQ and the leaders. During this time he would run into Damien Scott for one year spent as bickering enemies eventually falling for each other. The second year being married life.

When z-13 caused the breach, kraken was 55 and at the time his life work was supposed to be used to test on another subject. Leaving the precious serum of immorality in the hidden parts of hadal blacksite Lab. To get his work back, Kraken hired an expendable to try and get his work back when retrieving the crystal.

During this deal he found out the person aka allo nanol he crashed into was used as the cover up for the crash. To make the person pay he handpicked allo to become an Expendable with the paid expendable he sent.

This failed of course and caused kraken to be enraged knowing his work was just swept away. Later only to find out the person he threw under the buss , allo nanol, had been injected with his life work.

Now bitter and deranged to grasp immortality he chased after allo to get back what he wants and needs to obtain his chance at everlasting life.

[attractive-nuisance-esq]

so here’s the thing that’s really going to destroy me about this season, and why This Woman’s Work has already dashed me against the rocks: we’re going to watch Ed go through recovery. (Or rather his journey will be parallel to recovery, because Ed isn’t literally addicted.) David isn’t playing around; he’s just giving it straight to us. Ed’s drinking, snorting shit, indulging in toxic fantasies, pushing away everyone who cares about him. he’s descended into the worst cycle of addiction, where you hate yourself far more than anyone else around you, where you keep grasping at the same self-destructive coping mechanisms long after they’ve stopped working, where you cannot see further than surviving the next five minutes and your only goal is making it all stop. this is classic rock bottom. the entire purgatory hallucination is essentially exactly how it goes when you wake up after the worst night of your life and quite literally have to decide whether or not you want to keep living.

and when you reach rock bottom, you look around to find you’ve lost almost everyone you thought ever loved you, and it feels so fucking pointless to fight. if everyone is gone, if you’ve destroyed all your relationships because deep down you believed that’s what you deserved, why even try to get back up? what’s the use? hasn’t their leaving confirmed your lack of worth? how could anyone ever forgive you? how could you ever forgive yourself?

but that’s This Woman’s Work now, isn’t it? Stede will stand outside, because it’s on Ed now to find a way to love himself. recovery won’t stick - fuck, it won’t even start unless you decide to do it for yourself. Stede can’t fix Ed, but he can say, “I know you’ve got a little life in you left. I know you’ve got a lot of strength left.” but the relationship this song has to be referring to in this moment is the one between Ed and himself. Ed and Blackbeard and the Kraken and the child he was and the man he will be. There are things he should have said to himself but never said, done but never did. He’s never cared about himself before, and there is a straight fucking line from that self-loathing to addiction.

and you can’t survive addiction, you can’t get sober, you can’t heal for anyone else. you have to do it for yourself. but that glimmer of hope - sometimes someone else gives you the glimmer it takes to start picking up the pieces. Stede’s calling to him, telling Ed that he hasn’t lost him yet, that he loves him. that’s the glimmer of hope streaming down into the depths where he’s drowning: that Stede sees something in him worth loving, and maybe - just maybe - he’s right.

I am so fucking excited for the gentlebeard ship to sail, and I’m a total sucker for the mermaid reunion and the hand-holding and just ALL OF IT! but I hope so desperately that we get to watch Ed recover this season. I hope for it even as I know watching it will probably give me (more) flashbacks/require some therapy. that’s the relationship I really want to see mended this season. let that boy find his inner worth before he finds external love, or else the latter will never survive. also I’m pretty sure watching it all happen will Fix Me but let’s not put that pressure on @davidjenks lol

[been-around-seen-things]

CW: discussion of suicide

I’ve been mulling over a number of thoughts after eps 1-3 about Ed’s storyline, and I want to get them down before the new episodes come out, so here goes.

I’ve seen so many folks hard hit by Ed’s suicidality, needing to mind their mental health before rewatching, and—yeah. Folks who know me as a fic writer and who have read A Bug to Remember can glean some idea of where this topic has touched me. My own lowest time was literally two decades ago, so for me it’s not so much about that.

I just keep thinking about the okayness Ed performs in ep 2, which obviously isn’t entirely convincing, but nevertheless covers up that he’s already made his decision.

Which makes me think about someone I mentored and who died by suicide in 2019. Her name was Katie. I’m going to speak her name here because talking about her and thinking about her keeps her present for me.

Katie was deeply complicated, but, well, so is Ed, obviously. Ep 2 reminded me so vividly of her performance of okayness. She was professionally successful, organized, seemed to have it all together. I know others who also loved her have had the very natural “I should have known” reaction, but I don’t necessarily feel that way. For people like me whom she saw as mentors, she very deliberately hid the cracks, the pain, the suffering. Looking back on it now, I can see how our closeness was more about how much she made me feel comfortable sharing myself, while she remained pretty thoroughly walled off.

All of this makes me think about all the lies, the terrible lies our brains tell us. I talked in sort of a jumbled way on Twitter about the stories Ed tells and tries to tell about himself. The stories we tell and believe about ourselves are so fundamental to our very existence, and Ed has so much trouble believing any positive story about himself.

We first see him trapped in the narrative of Blackbeard, in which he is a “ghost.” He imagines himself as Stede Bonnet, but that’s a violent story with an intended murderous end. Jeff the Accountant is a story that’s fun at first, but the fallout just ends up hitting him where he’s most sensitive, his deepest feelings of unworthiness.

The most believable story for him is the Kraken. Clearly he wants something else, but it feels like literally the only option.

He tries to imagine himself as Jeff the Innkeeper, but he can’t keep from being a dick to himself long enough to even fully imagine how that story could play out.

His only positive stories, of course, are with Stede: first, playfully imagining himself as a chef, someone who can do anything. That one ends happily, albeit only temporarily—the brief dream of being co-captains. And then the possibility of running off to China together—but that’s an option that means Ed leaving his whole identity behind. It’s a running away, not an integration of the stories he carries. And then losing the possibility of that story—well, we know what happens.

And so. Here we are. Ed is alive, and he needs a new story that doesn’t cause himself and everyone else around him so much suffering. Ngl I had a real hard time on my first watch with how much pain there was all around. But that’s because, as always, this show is emotionally truthful even as the events are sometimes preposterous. I’m excited to see what other story possibilities are there for Ed. What he can find himself able to believe.

[gamerbearmira]

I wonder if you’ll do more with the Encanto giant siren au?

INDEED I CAN AND I WILL❗❗ I'm hoping to actually write a oneshot or two using this but. Some info??? World building??? Idk

So like. Guppies are affected by lunar cycles, but most the New and Full moons. Every other day, they're fine, running around and getying on people nerves, being cute, you get the gist.

So first, new moons. First of all, they lose all of their siren features. They basically look like slightly taller human children. The only way you could know is by looking at where their gills used to be; but it's quitr painful because they close up, and half the time they don't let anyone touch them. The only person they will let touch them is their mother or father. Sometimes an elder, and really only Alma, because of how gentle she is with them.

At this stage, they're very week. And typically, this last for about a few days, any longer and something is seriously wrong. Most of the time, they aren't even hungry anymore, and just sleep in their shells all day. They're taken to the Grotto and specially assigned caretakers care for them until they're ready to go back to their families.

Ok so. The full moon. Literally the complete opposite. They are. Crazy. Like actually 😭 they are hungrier than before, and are borderline desperate for food. It's very hard to get them into their shells, and even if someone does, they will break their shell. The risk is too high, and good shells are hard to come by. So, they do the only thing that seems logical. They lock them up.

Ok, lock up is a gross exaggeration 💀💀 but they do like?? Hide them away or something. Keep them away from the surface. It’s too dangerous for them to do that, especially after the first two incidents 😭 but basically they have to lure the guppies to the trenches. Deep sea sirens watch over them, and they they put into a giant trench. Empty, virtually uninhabited. Guppies basically get put down there, and aren’t allowed to leave till after the moon passes lmao. They are fed, damn near constantly. Mostly giant creatures, like orcas and krakens. Neither stand a chance against the guppies, they're like phiranas 😭😭

This is all I got 😭😭 hopefully I'll have more later, but I hope it works 🥸🥸 feel free to ask more about this au, I need an excuse to world build 😭

[sarucane]

OFMD Spiral Parallels 5: The Unicorn

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

In the first season of OFMD, the unicorn figurehead on the Revenge is associated with failure. Like Izzy says in season 2, it just doesn't do its job in season 1: it doesn't keep an eye out for danger on the horizon, it doesn't act as a guardian of the crew. It's a failure.

More specifically, the unicorn is Ed's failure. Ed who tried to be this larger-than-life figure in Blackbeard--a mythical monster, a kraken, a unicorn--but just couldn't cut it because he's a person, not a myth.

When Ed first appears on deck of the Revenge, he's clearly lined up as a parallel to the unicorn. What he's doing fits with that visual parallel too: he's looking out at the horizon for what's coming, and he's making a plan to protect the ship accordingly. Except, that plan fails because he's literally ahead, thinking it's a day earlier. The unicorn fails.

The unicorn also fails in episode 7, when the English shoot its head off. Calico Jack lured them in because of Ed, and it's Ed who failed to spot Jack's treachery (to Jack's own surprise).

The thing is, Ed's not as good of a pirate as he used to be. The first time, this is because he's not paying enough attention to the world. He's introduced as completely isolated from everyone but Izzy--of course he didn't notice it was a leap year. The second time, he fails because he's changed. He's become more trusting than he was before, and it makes him a worse pirate. He doesn't belong as captain anymore. It's not good for him or anyone else, as gets played out at the beginning of season 1.

But out of the wreckage of Blackbeard, a new unicorn emerges.

Izzy's association with the unicorn, and with Ed's failures as Blackbeard, is visible even in season 1. He's there when Ed is paralleled with the figurehead, and the unicorn head is blown off because Izzy sold them out to the English. And underneath that is Izzy's failure to understand Ed. He resists engaging with Ed on the "frankfurters" business, even refusing to use the same word to describe the clouds. Then he completely misjudges the situation that resulted in selling Stede out to the English. Ed would rather accept anything than watch Stede die, and Izzy just does not get this. In his own way, he's failed as a figurehead too: he hasn't anticipated what's coming, or protected what's important to him.

In season two, Izzy's fixation on the unicorn is a clear externalization of the self-hatred that drove his earlier suicide attempt. The unicorn didn't do its job, so it lost its head. Izzy didn't do his job, he failed the crew along with both Blackbeard and Edward (he couldn't make Ed be only Blackbeard, he couldn't make Blackbeard be more like Ed, he fed and perpetuated that duality until the paradox nearly destroyed everyone) and now he can barely get around.

Izzy's removal of the unicorn's legs is a form of self-punishment, like his refusal to let anyone help him after he falls and his insistence that "you're born alone, you die alone."

Except then, the crew transform the symbol from failure to rebirth. After all, a unicorn is a mythical creature. It's a story, and in the world of OFMD, stories can damn the unwary--but they can also offer salvation.

The unicorn is transformed from a symbol of forced obligation (the unicorn attached to the ship, Ed trapped in his life as Blackbeard) to decision (the unicorn transformed by collective action, a person choosing who he'll be to the people around him). They repaint it to shine in the dark, and it becomes a physical incarnation of Izzy's second chance--to "do his job," for his crew and his friends. And he doesn't stray from that. He doesn't fail them.

Izzy's out front when he's shot in episode 8, leading the way for the crew just like the unicorn led the way for the ship. Richie (being The Worst) tries to use the unicorn foot against Izzy, tries to transform the symbol back into one of failure. But it doesn't make a difference, because that's not what gets him shot: it's Richie himself who shoots Izzy. And Izzy dies having done his job, that he chose, out of love rather than obligation.

And in the final moments of the episode, the Revenge sets out with a limbless and headless figurehead. Without a unicorn. It doesn't need one: they're going to look out for each other.

And on Stede and Ed's island, the unicorn leg remains as a reminder of the potential for transformation, even from the deepest depths of failure and brokenness.