#literally one minute i think im gonna go and the other the pain changes and i know i cant
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#i want to go to fencing but im period day 2 so i still have mild cramps#and it’s at that stage where its so unclear how it will be so idk if i should stay home or go#going should make the pain go away but if it gets worse then i cant do stuff properly#ugh idk idk#i went outside and i was thinking ill go but when i came back pain also came back and its a bit worse now#ive got less than an hour to decide#literally one minute i think im gonna go and the other the pain changes and i know i cant#come on tummy you tortured me enough yesterday….#just realised that if im not going i wont have my mask for friday if theres practice then cause its in another place#so my decidion is even more impactful huh
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OH MY GOD SPOOKY ‼️‼️‼️‼️ thAT CHAPTER 13?????????? A MASTERPIECE!!!!
The "my girl" partmhjnjjhahhahahhuhuhaha I SWEAR i was brushing my teeth while reading and when my EYES SAW THOSE WORDS I JUST STOPPED??????? i stopped there with toothbrush all over my mouth for a good minutE TRYING TO COMPREGED TAHT!!!!!!!! UHHHHHHHGGGGGG
I have no words to explain how much i loved loved loved that chapter!!!! i have been craving for that reveal since i started reading when you were still posting the part set 1 movie and IT DID!!! NOT!!!!! DISAPOUNT!!!!!! IM SO FUCKING EXITED FOR THE REST OF THE STORY LMAOOO ��💞💞💞💞💞
SPOILER ALERT FOR CHAPTER 13
Yn, in my opinion at least 👀, def had the chance to play dumb, act as if she didnt knew, act as if they were forcing her to do whatever accusation dewey trew at her. but she didnt‼️‼️‼️‼️ and im just freakibg outtttttt she cares so much that AGAIN she put herswlf in front of Billy. After all the pain that doung that all those years ago brought to her, she did that and didnt even think about it. even after stu literally shot someone in the chest she cares so fucking much that the death of that person donest affect how she feels about him anymore (judy didnt actually dieee but yn doesnt know itt( they didnt need to get try to get jill before she hurt yn, they couldve literally just ran away from the hospital. But the choose to stay‼️‼️‼️ for stu i wont eve.n elaborate because my. Girl. My. Ficking. Girl. Was enough for me lmaooo‼️‼️‼️but billy didnt need to say athing! In fact, it would be better for him if he didnt bc he knew dewey woukd recognize him the second the spotlight was on him. But.he did. He defended yn the second he could. He defended her even if he knew no one would listen to him.
Im 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 anywaysssss hahaha i love your writing a normal amount............
Alsooo you wrote jill so so well that i wanted to go inside my phone and strangle her myself lmaoo
THANK YOU!!! I LOVE THIS REVIEW OMFG AFGSSG😍💘
Oh YN definitely cares and so do they there's just so much turmoil and difference in morals that it's a rough road but Billy and Stu saving her (To "kill her god knows when" yeah right 😒🙄) And her deciding to follow that moral compass and save Billy before her own ass because it was the 'right thing to do' (mm hmm 🤨😒) is just another layer they didn't know this situation could have!
Fr YN could have played dumb but I ain't gonna lie when I came out of anesthesia I slept SO HARD it was insane I was fucking out of it and barely formed thoughts so I can't imagine some bitch waking me up a few hours after my surgery trying to strangle me THEN trying to make coherent thoughts to justify why Billy is there 😣
And I think as the author writing it (And the girl reading it lol) like...YN is fucking tired.
I mean, her best friend and honestly only true friend died and she found his corpse and has that weighing on her conscience that it's her fault they seperated. Gale was never her friend 100% fake af and YN lowkey knows it. Karla is a friend by being Ray's wife but not on the level her and Randy are.
And other than Dewey; Billy and Stu is all she's got. In one night, she was truly stabbed for the first time not counting her arm or hand. Good and only Friend is dead. She's being framed AGAIN over fame she never wanted to begin with.
Dewey, as much as she loves him platonically, has changed because of that badge and being married to Gale and in Woodsboro (I noticed it from 3 to 4 with Dew to Sid and was shocked tbh) and has done nothing but make YN not trust him with her safety this entire installment.
Stu pointed it out in TT. That he was there no matter what, toxic or not. He knew the worst and best of YN and stayed there for his own selfishness but still for her as well. When Randy and Dewey only knew what YN revealed but she was living a double life that they UNDERSTANDABLY would be hurt and enraged over but Billy and Stu have been known and don't care
ISTG it's why I fuck with enemies to lovers sm bc your enemy sees your worst side, weakest side, you see there's and yet you still fall in love?
I think Billy has never seen these sides of YN and when he did in TT he was in a shit place in his life and still bitter over what she did in Set Up and Sequels Suck.
But Stu? He was in her life from Windsor to Hollywood on and off and got over her betrayal before Billy so it's easier for him.
And I hc Stu as fucking nuts to be blunt. Flys off the handle, impulsive, delusional, arrogant, has little value in peoples lives, doesn't discriminate with killing, sadist, possibly even a bit of a high functioning individual with a form of ASPD or just good old narcissism where he doesn't love like a normal person does so he forced himself into YN's life as a form of control but that doesn't mean he doesn't care for her he just cares for his own self preservation first and always will. While I hc Billy as an introverted guy with fucked up morals and possible hallucinations like his daughter Sam / he's more likely to snap than most people same with his Mom Nancy. But I think he feels love and emotions the same as anyone else he just has trust issues and cynical af.
It's why after so long...I mean, aside from money, Billy got what he wanted. YN is alone, isolated, depressed, anxiety, PTSD, no friends, everyone she cares for is dead or hates her, getting attacked by conspiracy theorists that claim she helped them. And I think he's realizing slowly but surely that maybe her suffering for trying to turn him in while saving him isn't what he wanted after all.
Thank you for the review and listening to me rant I just love these in detailed ones because sometimes you guys see things about the characters I don't even!!♡♡♡
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TWO TOWERS THOUGHTS!!!!
there are more of these bc the two towers is probably my favourite of the trilogy, despite the distinct LACK of boromir 😔
BUT i did notice a few things that baby birb totally ignored or forgot about!!! find out what they are........below 😈
one of baby birb's fav shots of aragorn was when he's lying across a rock tracking merry and pippin bc it reminded me of that one episode spongebob squarepants where the lads end up riding a rock to the customer's house 🤣 'it's not a boulder, it's a rock! a big, beautiful ROCK!!' lmao
baby birb ALSO loved all the shots of everyone running. as a smol individual, i had to run EVERYWHERE to keep up with the Tall Folk 😒 sure it was nice seeing THOSE feckers sprinting for a change!!
am still very confused about why anyone listened to grima what's his name, ur man's half the way to gollum u know 👀
tangential to the running scenes: i love aragorn's doofy run where he's flinging his one arm about like a silly. reminds me of my OWN unhinged run 🤣 (it is possible that these films are more deeply imprinted upon me than i thought 😅)
'LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!!!'
legolas's FACE every time he has an emotion. delightful
knowing that viggo mortensen broke his toe made me laugh at the helmet kicking scene tbh, i know it's meant to be poignant but that EXTREMELY REALISTIC scream of pain got me going like 🤣
shout out to treebeard holding merry and pippin in his tree hands. i kept thinking 'what if he just. smashes them together like barbie dolls 🤣'
ORCSES. HOBBITSES. i actually love gollum-smeagol, he's too pathetic for me to hate. HE'S LITERALLY SAT THERE SINGING HIS LIL SONG AND EATING A RAW FISH. LEAVE HIM GO HE'S NOT BOTHERING ANYONE ;A;
that gifset ruined everything for me. 'this forest is old......very old....' old as balls. that's just the line now. i no longer acknowledge the original. 😔
cheeky gandalf!! 'u wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick!! 🥺😳😘🤭🙄' (<- this is how birb thought using emojis worked a scant five years ago. be GRATEFUL i was not on tumblr back then, for the carnage would have been GREAT AND TERRIBLE!!!)
i love love LOVE the scene of the trio beating the shite out of the bg guys while gandalf walked slowly toward the king. u just see legolas punching a dude in the face, aragorn ZOOMING round in front of gandalf and off to the side, it's hilarious 🤣
whEN THEY TOSS GRIMA DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE JGY 👀
so many ICONIC lines!!! 'boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!!'
'it's the beards 👀'
U DROP ARAGORN OFF A CLIFF???? OH! OH! JAIL FOR ORCS!! JAIL FOR ORCS FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!
rip eowyn, she's so lonely and sad that the slightest validation from a hot guy she's known for five minutes was enough to make her fall stupid in love with him 😔
(i am also stupid in love with him, but it's different when i do it bc. um. uhhhh. 👀😳)
god he IS great tho, isn't he??? he's so dirty and greasy and wet and soggy, i love him and his dirty face and his dirty clothes and his dirty hands i love him i love him i lo
legolas got SO ANGRY about the orc telling them aragorn went over the cliff, he took it SO PERSONALLY. this makes birb want them to kiss each other 😊
they can kiss gimli as well, i don't mind!!
also the king awkwardly patting legolas on the shoulder like he's a slightly homophobic dad trying to comfort his gay son after a break-up, 'i still care about u but im super uncomfortable so im just not gonna say anything ok?? ok. manly head nod. im out 😐'
OPEN MOUTH KISSING??? BEFORE MARRIAGE????!!!!!!! OBSCENE!!!!!! LEAVE ROOM FOR THE HOLY GHOST!!!
side note: poor elrond, here he is trying to make sure his daughter has a good life and all she wants is to marry the dirty ranger like
'u think u know a girl, u raise her for 2000 or whatever years, organise her birthday parties and buy her a pony and teach her how to control the river, and then in the end she leaves u behind and marries a guy with a fraction of her lifespan, dooming herself to future suffering and despair smh 😔'
also arwen's face when aragorn is breaking up with her,,,,,'what did daddy say to u?? this is bc of what he said, isn't it?! i can't believe he's still interfering with my love life!!!!' ;A;
that lil ~half caress~ aragorn does to legolas's hand when he's returning arwen's necklace to him????? it's like??? idk super romantic??? it made my stomach go SWOOP?? if i stare at a gif of this scene i feel a bit dizzy??? is that weird. am i. weird 👀
i want them to make out with each other, sorry lads 😔
the annoying thing in all these medieval fantasy type stories, when there's not enough men for the war, they're always conscripting 10 year old boys, while the teenage girls and young women without any kids are hiding with the elders and children. LIKE. HOW can u justify sending little 8 yo haleth son of hama to the front lines?? LOOK AT HIM!! HE'S TINY!!! surely a 15 - 21 year old young woman would have a better chance of NOT DYING than a wee lad!!! they're peasants, they're used to hard labour!! do directors/writers etc think it's more ~realistic~ or sth?? do ppl think NO WOMAN ever took up a sword in a crisis??? even if certain things are Not Done (and in some places, even under penalty of DEATH), the Rules tend to fly out the feckin window once there's an emergency!!! I THINK 10,000 ORCS MARCHING ON HELM'S DEEP COUNTS FOR AN EMERGENCY???????
all im saying. is if we're all going to die anyway, then EVERYONE should get a sword. even the kids. ESPECIALLY the kids. it went really well in the walking dead when the lil girls each had a pistol. i promise i can be trusted with weapons i p romi s
the best thing in medieval-style warfare is when the two armies stand across from each other and shout insults back and forth for a bit, like 'you're ugly!' or 'you're smelly!' or 'i slept with your sister, and it weren't anything to write home about!!'
please could somebody fetch gimli a ladder, ur mans can't see above the fecking wall like nnO NO NOT THAT KIND OF LADDER
legolas and gimli counting their kills will never NOT be funny to me
MY KING A BEAST!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! HE RODE A FUCKING LADDER AND CRASHED INTO A BUNCH OF ORCS LIKE A KILLER WHALE GOING AFTER SEALS!!! ;A;
god when he shoves open those doors and ARRIVEs it's so so so fucking hot. god he is sso hot. he's so hot i love him i love him i
lol they sneak out the side door like 'hee hee hoo hoo, no one shall see us~' 🤣
'TOSS ME!!!!!' *yeets the dwarf*
legolas SHIELD SURFING!!! HANG TEN, BRO!!! GNARLY WIPE OUT!!! 🤙
im sorry
imagine being such an asshole that u make the fucking TREES angry??? like, u make the trees hate u SO FUCKING MUCH. that they literally come MARCHING OUT OF THE FOREST to commit mass property damage???? 👀
when i watched the scene i shouted 'TILL BIRNAM WOOD DO COME TO HIGH DUNSINANE!!!!' out loud but nobody laughed ._.
come onnnn it's funny right??? esp since we know that 'no man of woman born' can kill the guy in the next film!!! iT'S FUNNY, RIGHT??? ;A;
sam and frodo tumbling down the stairs also made me laugh but i paid for it immediately after when sam goes 'it's your sam. don't you know your sam?' fucknig KILL MEEEEE PLS
the most iconic, most beautiful, most painful line of the film-----the one that always makes me cry, the one i couldn't forget if i wanted to, the words that stand between me and DEATH------
'That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.'
GOD. IM FUCKING DEAD 😭😭😭😭 beautiful delivery as well, shout out to samwise gamgee for being the best man to walk middle earth, i will now lie in a puddle of my own tears _(:3」∠)
#birb watch#birb rewatches the lotr trilogy#the two towers#lotr#i ufkcnig lvoe thisee films but they leave me EXHAUSTED#ThEY ARE SO SO LONG#anD I APPEAR TO HAVE AUDHD????#BAD MIX ;A;#i passed out right after again lmaooo#we might save the final film for tuesday i think i need time to recover#aaaaaa the two towers is my fav i love it so much i can't stand it ;A;#sorry for having basic bitch ships but uhhhh#actually im not sorry :D#tho tbh i'd happily ship anyone and everyone with each other#peace and love in middle earth
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Get to know me
tagged by the wonderful and amazing @petrowriting!! thank you <3
Share your wallpaper:
This one’s my home screen, I took a photo of a cabbage when I was like 12 years old and did something to invert the colours and have had it ever since lmao. My lockscreen is this fanart of Will Graham because it’s amazing and gorgeous and I’m obsessed with it
The last song you listened to: Through Me (The Flood) also by Hozier alksdaslkdhf. i’ve been obsessing so much it’s such a good song. i have maybe described listening to this song as a religious experience too many times for someone who has never had an actual literal religious experience
Currently reading: 100 pages into the Red Dragon book and it is a trip lmfao. it’s so fun seeing the ways the dialogue was repurposed, and the prose is wow, but ohhh boy. thomas harris. babe. get help<3
Last movie: Jane Austen Book Club! i love grigg very much despite his stupid name. gonna start alternating between hugh dancy and mads’s movies bc I’ve been doing that accidentally I think lmao. Last three movies I did went like Confessions of a Shopaholic -> Charlie Countryman -> Jane Austen Book Club. but on the other hand I deeply need to watch like four hugh dancy movies as soon as possible for emotional reasons
Craving: For it to be like a week from now so I’m healed from my wisdom teeth surgery. also to have no work or responsibilities for a month and just be able to write and read hannigram fics aslkdf.
What are you wearing right now: this is my first time not being in pyjamas since getting the aforementioned wisdom teeth out lmfao. black pants and dark blue t-shirt
How tall are you: 5’3 </3
Piercings: love the aesthetic yet terrified of getting it done and also them catching on things. I got these clip-on gothic glow-in-the-dark dragon earrings a bit ago from a targeted instagram ad (my first and last time ever doing so) because I have zero impulse control, and they broke immediately.
Tattoos: none, but have been microwave-spinning the concept of getting a hannibal tattoo since I watched. the heart from primavera would be so cool
Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, my eyesight is deeply blurry without them
Last drink: classic water, big big fan of the stuff. reminds me of nbc hannibal because because there was water in the show a lot
Last show: watched two episodes of The Last of Us at like 5am yesterday, it was great. also perpetually rewatching hannibal by getting everyone I know to watch, and then watching with them
Last thing you ate: soft tofu in broth. there are, not a lot of vegan post-wisdom-tooth food options (also I’m very picky lmao), so I’ve been rotating between that, vegan ice cream, mashed potatoes, and vegetable smoothie for like 3 days.
Favorite color: ohhh this is painful, is it a cop-out to say all of them? Big big fan of purple, orange with purple, green, and blue.
Current obsession: it’s been hannibal and nothing else for 9 months now, and im going strong
Unrelated obsession: not sure if this counts exactly but there’s a writing app where you set a timer and start typing, and if you stop typing for longer than 5 seconds it deletes everything, and it’s so cool. I’ve been calling it stream-of-consciousness writing in my head for like a year bc it’s like a personal stream-of-consciousness even though ik that is not how to use that term alksfhd. I do 3 or 5 minute sprints and store them in one document, then have a second document where I edit and refine, and for a few I’ve put them side to side and colour-coded all my changes and it’s so fun
Any pets: two cats! Miles, my grey one, is extremely sweet, and possibly too smart for his own good. My other one Chico has a very adorable snaggle-tooth, and is incredibly stupid <3. he’s very bad at knowing what direction he’s going or recognizing any parts of the world around him and I love him very much.
Do you have a crush on anyone?: only in that vague abstract way, almost without direction, catching little wisps of the concept of the feeling from scattered bits of interactions with the world around me
Favorite fictional character: im absolutely refusing to choose between hannibal and will so im listening them both and you can’t stop me
The last place you traveled: i’ve literally gone nowhere since the pandemic started </3. i’m in Canada and the furthest I’ve been is just one city to another in the same province like 1.5 hours away. Hopefully going to Italy in the summer though!!
Tagging: @stranded-labyrinth, @valentinsylve, @elvislefilm, @disaster-vampire, @sacha-da-1, @dreamed-itself-waking, @em0fagz, @cannibaltranssexual, @hisjimct, @im-urchin, @ghostforwhat, @f0undationsofd3cay, @det395, @a-pigeons-soliloquy, @mysterist, and anyone else who wants to!
zero pressure, also i’m always v forgetful with tagging so if i missed anyone sorry and ily!
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just remembered i have free will and can post about whatever i want so here's a little bit about living with adhd i guess (and funny/ annoying stuff i hear from people who don't have it) btw this is only my experience, and i can ASSURE you this isnt all of the adhd experience. warning, kinda sad lol (and now ive finished typing, long asf!!)
a big issue is motivation, like HUGE. My adhd causes me to have MASSIVE instant gratification problems, and several years in a row this has impacted my school. If a task doesn't give me satisfaction immediately it genuinely is painful to try and start it. I have so many art projects, sewing things, crochet, etc that almost feel like doing schoolwork if im struggling that week. I have been known to doomscroll for 7-9 hours IN FRONT OF MY ASSIGNMENT AT MY DESK because it feels like asking my body to hurt itself just to start work.
cont of the last one sort of: Wasted time (AGHGJSHGHGJA). I lowkey believe I could have done so much more with my life if I could just sit down and focus. Luckily ive gotten into the mindset of "keep pushing forward, you cant change the past" but holy shit its a killer. Assignments that take 5-10 minutes take 5-11 hours to START, and in these hours of procrastination i am NAWT enjoying myself at alllll. Its 5-10 mins of scrolling, almost start crying because i CANT JUST START, then back to scrolling, repeat. Plus what hurts more is that once i do start, it really only does take those 5 minutes
Now one that i dont really see! negative talk that comes with not getting diagnosed (oh brother this guy stinks!!). I'm gonna be short and sweet with this one because when I used to say this stuff to myself I lowkey believed it. A lot of stuff I repeated at my worst was "why can't I just do stuff like everyone else, what is wrong with me, why can't I just focus, Everyone can do this why can't I, etc" and what PISSES ME OFF!! is that SOOOO much of this is repeated/ planted by outside sources!! but i digress...
Hyperfixations! either amazing or atrocious!! Mine have never been terribleeee but they def get extreme! (for those that don't know a hyperfixation is a interest that DOMINATES UR LIFE for a few weeks, to a few months. Happens in autism too i think? and special interests are specifically autism and last yearsssss)
Fixations can be really fun and a lot of people i know say that it makes them feel like themselves, and gives them a purpose! but there is also a really not-fun side to them, some wild stuff ive experienced while hyperfixated: -can't go to the restroom/do anything embarrassing because of a feeling of the characters watching/judging you. -Stomach hurts if you see something from the hyperfix, or some sort of painful physical reaction. -Only work you are able to do is related to/correlates to hyperfix (I finished a project where I got to draw gravity falls the day I was assigned it, and I also got given a project from the same class 3 weeks ago and haven't started) -getting physically angry at slander/hate even tho it isnt that serious fr -internal monologue changes to a characters voice/a certain accent. You UNWILLINGLY imitate a characters little mannerisms without trying. -this one is funny but during my anime phase i watched so much subbed that I heard a commercial playing and thought they were speaking utter gibberish for 3 minutes then realized it was english and i had just gotten so used to Japanese w/ subtitles
Some stuff i heard other people go through (tw for sh on the last one) -Neglecting hygiene
-loss of friends because they can only talk about it -Failing entire courses or becoming severely sleep deprived -hyperfixating on problematic people or topics (you can't really control what you hyperfixate on, that's actually why I haven't watched shit like hasbin hotel or even skibidi toilet as a joke) -even in very EXTREME AND RARE cases, cutting because of the media, carving characters names, etc. and to stress this again, hyperfixations can literally give people purpose in life!! they aren't always bad! but i really don't see people talk about the downsides, and coming out of one feels like losing a part of yourself, the reason to be motivated in the first place (and this is also why I do think its important that non-neurodivergent people don't use the word to describe their interests)
other random stuff i guess
coffee/caffeine makes me tired asf, adhd meds and caffeine are both stimulants! thats why a lot of undiagnosed people actually use it as a makeshift medicator without knowing
for me personally, getting diagnosed SAVED MY LIFE but ill talk abt that in a sec
I will want to respond to your text SO BAD but it feels scary to me, like another thing on the to-do list even tho you could be the loml it would still take me 2 hrs of distracting myself to respond
ive seen a few people say that having untreated adhd feels like/goes hand in hand with depression, and while i dont think this is factually true, thats what it feels like lol
Adhd also gives you rejection sensitivity (not the official term but who cares), basically getting criticized or ridiculed feels like a straight insult at your character. felt definitely more as a little kid but can confirm BIG TIME!
another note to the sensitivity: it is very valid and real, before being medicated id cry once a month at school over small shit. I mean i still do occasionally, but i think EVERYONE i knew as a kid has seen me cry at LEAST like 7 times. also like every time i see someone describe the adhd experience well i start BAWLING. plus as a kid my youtube recommended was FULL of "how to stop being so sensitive, how to stop crying when told ur wrong, stop crying at school so often" videos
I never realized how much I cut people off when talking till someone pointed it out and I looked it up, yup its adhd
I was wondering why it got quiet a second ago but i actually never had any music playing, I just kept repeating the same song in the background of my head whilst typing this (peewee's playhouse intro btw) dunno if its an adhd thing but i see a lot of people talk abt hearing multiple dialogues at once.
meds can also be annoying asf but that can go for every mental illness. When i started mine i slept through the bell in 2 of my classes lol. (Plus i definitely need to up my dosage because it just isn't working as well as it used to.)
**btw dont be reading this with adhd by the way and think your like, doomed. Genuinely THE MOST bubbly, kind, and just downright creative people I know have adhd. i know it feels like a curse a lot of the time but please push through**
ALRIGHT!! now on to some stuff ive been told by people!!
this first heartbreaking quote was from my best friend. We were talking about our least favorite teacher (who had adhd, but my fav teacher also had it lol) and she goes "yeah i think all people with adhd are just annoying" the funny thing was that this was ALSO the day I had to tell her I was going to get checked for it so thats fun! pair that with good ol rejection sensitivity and we have a phrase that repeats in my mind once a day lmao. (dw shes been informed a lot more now and i dont think she remembers it but i corrected her on it)
second one! much more recent, my father was getting checked for autism (alr has adhd diagnosis). To prove to my step mom that him getting officially diagnosed wasn't a huge deal, he asks me "getting diagnosed really didn't help you haha right?" i just responded "lmao no it changed everything" because i don't think an appropriate response at the time would be "it literally prevented me from kms :))"
INFAMOUS ONE from my teacher! He was filling out my adhd referral form but he literally didn't pay enough attention to me in class so he just had me come up there and fill it out with him instead. The questions were "on a scale of 1-5....." and he would SAY THE QUESTION AT NORMAL VOLUME IN THE SILENT CLASSROOM "Does this student struggle with depression!! Does this student have violent tendencies!!" (not to mention a lot the questions were all geared to 10 yr old boys) then i would give him my full and honest answer, and he would say "well everyone has that!" and put THE NUMBER BELOW THE ONE I GAVE HIM. i swear bro he either needs to understand the questions arent for him, or go get diagnosed lmao.
*BUT ANYWAYS* thank you for reading this thing holy moly. I probably forgot so much and its 1am oops! hopefully this made someone feel seen or made someone semi-understand the struggle. Its just a lot of the time I see it downplayed as "ooh squirrel!!" while it has legit destroyed my life at points, and isn't any less serious as other well talked about conditions (obvs not as bad as other stuff but yk what i mean)
alright thanks again, bye!!!
I need someone to invent a machine to give anyone adhd for a month because if I hear “no I get it! I get distracted sometimes too!” one more time I might go batshit insane.
#adhd#neurodivergent#executive dysfunction#neurodiversity#adhd problems#adhd things#neurodivergence#neurotypical#rejection sensitive dysphoria
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i am very Tired of people ignoring how severely traumatized vi is. like ok i get it jinx is a lot more noticeably Not Okay, but r we seriously going to look at jinx say “omg her childhood was so traumatic” when vi took the brunt of a lot of their traumatic experiences in her earlier childhood??
vi at like 10-12 led her little sister on a bridge that was on fire and filled with enforcers and dead bodies to go find their parents only to stumble across her mothers fucking corpse (some ppl think that she witnessed their deaths but idk). bc their parents were now dead vi immediately assumed a parental role which caused her to lose more of her already stolen childhood in an effort to protect jinx.
she held a lot of responsibility for a teenager and was assigned leader/parent to her siblings. most of what she did was to help her family and community. ive seen some people say that she kind of imprinted onto vander when they first see him meaning she adopted the kind of personality he had then. shes brash and blunt and willing to take all different manners of pain to protect her family. i would bet that theres a sense of fear of losing them because she lost her parents. vi feels guilty for really anything because she feels that leadership and responsibility with all of her friends and family.
so not only is she putting herself in physical danger to protect her family but she also torments herself if she fails or slips up. then in a desperate effort to save her father figure who raised her and taught her and saved her, she finds out her little sister accidentally just killed their entire adoptive family. so she lashes out in one of the few ways she knows how which is physically. is it okay?? fuck no. but understandable? yeah. she literally lost everything in the span of minutes. then she turns around and finds out that the reason for all of this is her little sister who came along even though she was told not to.
so its a matter of loss of control and a loss of family and crushing guilt because she failed to protect them. i think something that really stands out too is how in ep 1 or 2 vander gives vi the whole leadership lecture “you say light a fire they show up with oil” which is essentially “you are responsible for the outcomes of your leadership decisions” the whole effort to save vander was coordinated by vi. this rescue mission ended with her and powder being the sole survivors of her family.
then she’s thrown into prison at 14-17 until she is in her early or mid twenties. in stillwater she is physically and psychologically abused for six straight years. her sole outlet for all her guilt and grief is anger. so she builds a reputation for herself knowing there is no end of her sentence in sight and with the crushing fear that her little sister, who she hurt and abandoned (in her mind), is dead. she brutalizes other inmates and lands herself into solitary confinement often.
then when she’s broken out she experiences a sort of culture shock with how much the lanes have changed, the shimmer problem worsening, and the way the last drop has gone from welcoming and gruff to barred off and threatening. she expresses herself in her go to coping mechanism which is beat the shit out of other people and getting the shit beat out of herself. she learns that her little sister is still alive but is working for silco.
there HAS to be a level of betrayal and anger in that. i don’t believe it overrides her sheer relief and hope at the knowledge of her little sister being alive, but i believe its still very much there. silco cultivated the environment in which their family was slaughtered, took over their childhood home, and corrupted the undercity with swathes of shimmer.
i looked away from my screen and stopped hyperfocusing uh.. im gonna finish this off the best i can but im stupid and i hear every noise now.
moving beyond into act 3 where do we even fucking start. okay, her sister shooting her?? terrifying. it is very hard for vi to understand just how much jinx has changed over the years. then believing to witness her death, you can see in the council scene just how apathetic she has become.
the tea party scene and leadup i think are the scariest scenes in the show. jinx is clearly drugged out from her slow and borderline slurring voice. she puts vi in a very vulnerable situation that demands full trust from her, while she does get that in jinx’s eyes (from my opinion) vi hasn’t fully passed the test. vi is literally forced to choose between killing caitlyn (someone she has become very emotionally attached too) and leaving jinx (her little sister who she thought was dead for years). this is so traumatic i cannot believe ppl are glossing over this. my brain is loud and i cant think anymore but like... so tired of ppl not really paying attention and seeing how traumatized so many of the characters are and instead focusing so heavily on jinx. yes jinx is the heart of the show, yes she is incredible mental illness representation, yes she is a fantastic fucking character, but she is not the only one.
#vi#arcane#shes so traumatized its not even funny#character study#i guess#i just lost my fucking mind into the post editor or whatever tf u call it in a hyperfocused state and woke up with this shit
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Hello~ Can I request a Mark x fem reader who’s a lot like starfire and is very Powerful close to omni man and is also an alien princess but she lives on earth and they go to the same school and she’s also a solo hero who one day sees invincible fighting off a tough villain with the teenteam but is losing so she steps in to help and he recognizes her and starts getting all nervous since he has a crush on her and then after that they introduce themselves get to know each other and eventually work they’re way up to mark confessing and she says yes :3
(If possible can it be a slow burn im a sucker for slow burn tropes and stuff 😤)
A/N: I gotchu, this bout to be a lil long 😮💨 making the fem!reader a little more human, figured since she’s in an actual school for humans she’d need to adapt to the humor/culture so she doesn’t get suspicious
Pairing: Mark Grayson x Fem!Reader
Rating: M, some swearing and gross monster guts
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Mark is finally joined in battle by an alien princess who has caught his attention. Turns out she goes to the same high school, and if he can throw around 150-pound monsters across the street, surely he can confess his true feelings to a girl... right?
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Rex Splode yelled as he wobbled up off the ground. "We've been on this thing for hours and it only has one damn cut!"
"Calm down Rex," Atom Eve said from behind, "You're gonna get even more tired from yelling."
The two watched as Dupli-Kate attempted to distract the scaly kaiju, replicating herself second after second to give space for Invincible to hit the monster by surprise. The kaiju's screech echoed throughout the city and shook the foundations of the surrounding buildings, forcing Rex, Atom Eve and Robot to move aside and save however many civilians they could.
"Invincible," Dupli-Kate shouted, "I can't keep up much longer!"
A sonic boom overcame the surrounding noise and Invincible appeared from the clouds. Dropping in at maximum speed, the young superhero balled his hand into a fist and took a deep breath. A loud battle cry escaped his mouth but it was cut short as the kaiju's heavy arm slapped him away just in time, throwing him through destroyed buildings until he landed on the pavement.
Out of breath, dizzy, and in a serious amount of pain, Invincible laid on the broken road for a second to regain his strength. The wind softly blew down on him as he focused his sight on a contrail leading towards him, and he watched as a girl in purple land right next to him.
She bent down and held him upright, "Invincible, are you okay?"
"Mmhmm," Invincible croaked with a defeated smile, "Totally fine."
His sight reverted back to normal and the first face he saw shocked him alive. It was her. They never talked in school and he was almost sure she didn't know his real name, but here she was, basically cradling him in her arms and calling him Invincible.
So she knows who I am. At least with the suit.
"Come on, that kaiju is about to be destroy the entire city," she said, helping him get back on his feet and flying away to the seemingly unbeatable figure.
He huffed, "Stay cool, Mark. She's here to help," and he followed suit.
This marked the first time he really interacted with the new superhero; he'd only ever see her on TV or read about how she saved people on the newspaper. He'd be lying if he said he didn't find her attractive — as do most guys his age — but watching her blast the kaiju with the green bursts of energy from her hands made her only even more appealing.
Invincible regrouped with the rest of the Teen Team. "I don't know what else we can do to this thing," Atom Eve admitted.
"I do," the girl spoke up. "Distract it as best as you can but stay far away from the stomach. When I tell you to take cover, make a run for it."
Robot replied, "That seems highly dangerous."
"Let's do it," Invincible quickly replied in a high-pitched voice.
Everyone looked over at him, surprised at the sudden change in his voice and just how fast he reacted in agreement.
"Uh, it's a good plan," he nodded, causing the girl to shoot a warm smile his way. "I definitely think we should do it... if all of you... uh, think, we should."
Exhausted and out of options, the rest of the group followed her orders and took different corners of the monster. Dupli-Kate handled one leg, Rex Splode handled the other, Robot and Atom Eve took the arms, and Invincible went back to the head. The kaiju struggled to keep its focus on just one of the heroes, and while it remained preoccupied, the girl absorbed all the energy she could muster and flew straight for the stomach.
"Take cover, now!"
Invincible and the Teen Team moved away and they watched as the flying hero's eyes opened in a bright shade of neon green, both her arms extended out as a large ball of green formed around her hands. The rays exploded right through the kaiju and it shrieked in pain as she briefly disappeared into the stomach. The kaiju lost balance and slowly fell forward as the girl, her eyes still green, appeared on the other side and harshly fell down on the ground.
The kaiju landed on the street with a loud boom and the group ran towards the girl who was now covered in parts of the kaiju's digestive system.
"Okay, that's kinda gross," Rex Splode commented, to which Dupli-Kate quickly responded, "Shut up."
Invincible dropped down on his knees and wiped the blood and guts off her face. Subtly admiring her facial features up close, he couldn't believe (and almost felt stupid) that he never recognized her despite the fact that he almost saw her everyday.
The girl groaned in agony softly shook her head, her eyes fluttering open to the sight of Invincible's dark hair, goggles and yellow mask.
"Hey, hey," he whispered, "Are you alright?"
She sat up and hissed at her injuries, holding her head with her bloody hand. "Mmhmm," she gently nodded with a half smile, her eye one still shut. "Totally fine."
---
Mark had a hard time focusing on school. His body ached from yesterday's injuries and he suffered a few bruises from literally tearing through buildings. He made his way to his locker and rested his head on the metal door, dreading the fact that he still has an entire afternoon of classes to go. Closing his eyes in hopes to quickly recharge, his moment of peace was disrupted when a shoulder rammed into his chest and several books landed right on his toe.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry," a voice exclaimed.
Mark's head snapped up at the sound of the voice. It's her. He momentarily froze and watched the girl bend down to pick up her things, and when he finally regained movement a split second later, he also bent down to help her out. He kept quiet as he tried to think of the coolest possible response to make her think that he was actually the coolest guy in school, but all he could think of was how heavenly and badass she looked yesterday.
"Thanks," she said as he handed her the book. "I hope your foot doesn't bruise."
They both stood up and he shot her a nervous smile. "T-totally fine," he replied, clearing his throat afterwards.
She crossed her brows at his response and nodded, and a look of suspicion replaced her worried demeanor.
"I'm Mark, by the way," he cleared his throat again and reached out his hand, "Grayson."
"Mark... Grayson, huh?" she responded, scanning his face as her suspicion grew. Her eyes finally landed on the hand that was waiting, and she took one last look into his eyes before deciding to shake it. "I'm Y/N," she introduced herself with a skeptical smile, feeling his sweaty palm wrapped around hers. "I'll see you around, Mark Grayson."
She walked away and Mark's eyes followed her trail as far as he could see. He quickly pulled out his phone to send a text to Eve, who was actually watching their interaction a few classrooms down.
"Mark," Eve called out as she moved towards him. “So I’m assuming...”
"You knew?” he asked her in disbelief. “Why didn't you tell me Y/N was a superhero? I just introduced myself to her as Mark Grayson and I'm almost positive she knows I'm Invincible."
"First off, it's not my secret tell," she answered with a shrug. "Second, you guys didn’t trade secrets or whatever?”
Mark shook his head in a panic, "No, but I'm guessing she also knows that I know her secret the same way I know she knows my secret." He rested his forehead on the locker door once again and groaned, "Ugh, I'm so into her, it isn't even funny. And this whole superhero thing just made it even more awkward."
Eve laughed, "Look, I'm not going to force her to tell you if she isn't up for it, but if you want, I can ask her to hang out with us later. Maybe — emphasis on maybe — my presence will make her comfortable enough to admit who she is."
"Okay, okay," he sighed, turning around to rest the back of his head. "My insides are dying."
"After the kaiju yesterday, be thankful you don't mean that in a literal sense."
---
Where in the hell is Eve?
Mark pulled out his phone for the third time in 10 minutes. Still no call or response from Eve to his text. He was getting evidently nervous; his palms were sweaty again and it felt like someone turned up the heat in Burger Mart. His left leg jerked up and down in anxiety as he stared at his phone, looking at the seconds on the clock icon tick by. If he were left alone with Y/N, he'd have no idea what to say. What does she like? Should I bring up the kaiju yesterday and praise Invincible? No, she'll just think I'm full of myself.
"Hey Mark."
He jolted and saw Y/N standing by the corner of the booth. "Hi!" he replied in that irritatingly high-pitched voice. Mark's heart began to race and the thoughts in his head ran wild. "Um... Have a seat. Sorry Eve isn't here yet, she actually hasn't answered my calls or my messages. Teenage girls, huh? What can you do?"
She crossed her brows again and chuckled, "That's fine, we can wait for Eve. But I think I'm more concerned about you."
"What do you mean?"
Y/N chuckled again, "You seem... nervous.”
He faked an obnoxiously loud laugh, “Me? Nervous?”
She watched him from across the table in silence, waiting for him to regain his composure.
When Mark couldn’t hear Y/N laughing with him, he finally shut up and shook his head. “Yeah, I am nervous, sorry,” he admitted, shutting his eyes tight.
She giggled, “Totally fine.”
Hearing her say those two words calmed his racing heartbeat. A smile crept on his face and she reciprocated, their eyes locking for a few seconds before both their phones buzzed.
“Oh, I just got a text from Eve,” Mark said.
“Me too.” She opened the message and began to read it out loud, “Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Something came up.”
“Have fun, you two,” he followed, his voice faltering. He placed his phone, screen down this time, back on the table and sighed, “Sorry, guess you’re stuck with me. That is, if you do want to stay and... hang out, and stuff.”
"Why wouldn’t I?” she replied, her warm smile easing Mark back into a relaxed state. “It’s nice to have a friend who...” she trailed off, “understands.”
“Understands what?” he asked.
“This thing people like us call life,” she answered. “You know, it took me a long time to acclimate here. I didn’t think I ever would, then I met friends who made this place feel like home. And home is a feeling I hadn’t felt in a really long time.”
Mark rested his elbows on the table and leaned in closer, “Well, I’m always here. You know, a-as a friend... or an acquaintance, even. I don’t, I don’t want to push it.”
Y/N giggled again, “You’re a funny man, Mark Grayson. This planet is lucky to have someone like you.” She reached out and held his hand, “And I’m even luckier to have you as a friend, or an acquaintance.”
He felt the heat rush to his face and he could swear his heart nearly jumped out of his chest. The afternoon flew by in a hurry as they engaged in lengthy conversations, fatty fast food, and childhood stories. While Mark was open to sharing every tiny detail — down to the color of the bleachers at the park where he played little league — Y/N kept hers pretty vague, leaving out descriptions of family members and even the places where these stories happened.
Mark’s phone buzzed again, but the vibrating pattern indicated it was a phone call. He turned the screen over and saw the unknown number; it was time to suit up.
“Shit, I’m sorry Y/N, but I need to go,” he said in a rush. “I have a... uh, an emergency.”
You couldn’t have thought of anything more specific?
“It’s cool. Um, don’t worry about it,” she said, shaking her head with her eyes glued to the vibrating phone.
Mark’s one leg was already out the booth before he decided to finally just go for it. Sitting back down with his now quiet phone in his hands, he took a deep breath.
“Y/N, I think you’re really cool. Can I maybe, like, call you sometime, or something?”
Her lips formed into smile that extended to her eyes, and it was enough for Mark to melt a little. “Of course. Yeah, sure,” she replied in excitement and typed down her number on his phone. She handed it back, “Now you know how to reach me if you’re getting your ass whooped again.”
His mouth fell open as his shaky hands grabbed his phone. “Wait—”
She smoothly slid out of the booth, “See you later, Invincible,” she winked, “Don’t get killed today.”
---
Luckily for Mark, no one got killed today. Maybe a few wounds here and there, but nothing painful enough that will land him in the GDA hospital. After spending an hour in the shower, he finally managed to lie down on his bed and rest his body. He sank into the mattress and closed his eyes, taking in the seconds of undisturbed peace that have become rare moments since he got his powers.
As he replayed the events of today’s fights in his head, his mind drifted off to the hours he spent with Y/N. He pulled out his phone and mustered the courage to press the dial button, and the repeating sound of the ringing was making his pulse race.
“Hello?”
“Oh good, you didn’t die today.”
Mark chuckled and sandwiched his hand between his head and the pillow. “It wasn’t that bad today, just took a few hits,” he explained. “So listen, Y/N, I was wondering, uh—”
She cut him off, “What are you doing right now?”
“What?”
“What are you doing right now?” she repeated.
“Um, nothing, just getting some rest” he sat up and looked around. “Why?”
“If you’re not too tired, do you maybe...”
Mark smiled, “Maybe...?”
“I don’t know, sneak out? My roof is pretty comfortable.”
Silently fist pumping, he fully stood up and nodded, “Text me the address.”
Just as quietly as he exited his room via the window, he softly landed on Y/N’s roof. Swiftly flying up and greeting him, she took the place next to him and crossed her legs.
“You’re right, your roof is pretty comfortable,” Mark said.
She chuckled at his remark then noticed a gash by his right temple. Her brows furrowed in worry, “You have a wound,” she said, making sure not to touch it.
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied, softly holding her hand and placing it back down with his. “Totally fine.”
Those words brought her some sense of comfort as her eyes softened, causing her to unconsciously squeeze his hand. Mark’s eyes widened and he looked down at their tangled fingers, frozen for a moment.
“Is this... okay with you?” he asked.
She nodded. “Wanna lie down? Since my roof is so comfortable?” she asked with a smirk.
“Sure,” Mark chuckled, removing his hand from her’s and stretching his arm out as they lied down. Y/N rested her head on his shoulder, keeping her eyes up at the stars.
“Hey Mark?”
“Yeah?”
A moment of silence.
“Thank you for coming.”
He looked down at her as she met his eyes, “You’re welcome.”
The two shared a smile, and Mark took a deep breath as he prepared himself for the words that were about to come out of his mouth.
It’s now or never, Mark. Now or never.
“Watching you kick ass yesterday was... really a sight to see,” he began. “You’re powerful and strong, but more importantly, brave. And you’re so fucking beautiful and kind and smart and...” Mark trailed off, sighing, “I never thought I would be in this position — with you next to me in a very comfortable rooftop under the stars.”
“Mark...”
“And I really like you. Like, really, really like you.”
“Mark.”
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but I just wanted to let you know. It’s important that you know—”
“Mark,” she cut him off. “I like you too. A lot.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and covered his eyes with his free hand. “Oh thank god. Thank god!” he exclaimed.
Y/N shushed him, “You’re gonna wake up the neighborhood, Invincible.”
“Sorry,” he giggled quietly, “I got excited.”
She laughed and faced her body towards him. They locked eyes again, and Mark didn’t know if it was gravity or just the adrenaline that pushed him, but he finally leaned down and met her lips. Static ran through his body as he deepened the kiss, and he felt an excitement that was even more exhilarating than the first time he flew.
She pulled away and Mark ran his hand through her hair, resting his hand on her cheek. “How was that?” he asked.
She smiled gently and placed her hand over his, “Totally fine.”
#sorry this turned out way longer than expected#mark grayson x reader#invincible x reader#mark grayson#invincible fanfiction
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@lulubellule-kfp your oogway sucks tai lung and kai are flawed/hurt not pure evil rant has changed me spiritually, and honestly, I can’t even give Oogway credit for ‘intervening’ with Tigress.
Oogway is presented as the Wisest and Kindest and Best.
(btw this is very biased and emotional and hammered out in ten minutes and i do love the movies tbh some stories are surface level deep and that's cool)
Oogway is maybe better understood as Thinks He's Wise, Charming Rather Than Kind, and Flawed Like Everyone Else But He's Also The Most Powerful So He Gets To Decide What's Right And Wrong.
his biggest flaw (to me) is in imposing his own idea of the world on everyone else, no matter what the cost, and never self reflecting on how it might be serving him- Even as it hurts and destroys so many others
(grain of salt- we the audience are limited in what we 'know' by what we've been shown so far) (kai and tai lung did do bad things, they did choose to hurt people... and so did oogway. and not having that acknowledge is frustrating. not bad or wrong but, frustrating)
When does Oogway finally do something to help Tigress? Why, after one of Po’s randomly spilled menus happened to flutter into his hand.
Oogway, being dead set on his own philosophy of /there are no accidents/ he orders takeout and chuckles when it gives Shifu food poisoning. The valley is in danger from a rampaging violet dude who’s destroying everything and everyone one in his path but hee hee destiny.
Tigress puts HERSELF forward, willing to fight Boar in her master’s place- and Shifu cuts her off. If she can’t fight like him, then she can’t be ready to fight at all, apparently. So Shifu decides to send a scroll asking for help fighting Boar, and Oogway, deciding that it also wasn’t an accident that Tigress asked to fight Boar, tells Shifu to send Tigress with the scroll instead. Shifu agrees “DO NOT FAIL ME” and Tigress does her thing collecting the Cleaner, Comedian, and Dancer.
(Sidenote: The difference between Tigress instantly seeing how amazing each of them are even though none of them use moves like hers, verses Shifu refusing to accept that there is any other way of being good than HIS way until he literally sees it happening is hmmm yes well, good job mentoring him Oogway, that’s a perfectly healthy mentality to be clinging to, how the heck did Tigress end up more emotionally balanced than the guy raising her) (im gonna give credit to the people running Bao Gu orphanage or actually maybe just the fact that Tigress spent part of her childhood around so many people not like her but who learned to accept her as a friend)
When Shifu gets pissed at Tigress for ‘failing him’ (even while he fails to listen when she tries to tell him how amazing these four people are actually, Shifu would rather die than be wrong. Healthy!), Oogway does go talk to Tigress…… to fire her up for fighting Boar. Alone.
Which is, apparently according to him, the Thing The Universe Wants To Have Happen, and that’s why he’s going along with it. Because he sure as heck didn’t sTOP Shifu from raising Tigress under yet another painful crushing weight of expectation, like he already did with Tai Lung. Nooo, it took a random flyer flying into Oogway’s claws before he was like you know what, maybe Tigress completely giving up her sense of personal identity in a desperate bid to win the love of her father figure is wrong actually. Wow who'd have thought!
Or does he even care about that. Does he only care now because ‘the universe’ seems to be saying so? TIGRESS LOOKS BASICALLY GROWN UP IN THE SHORT HOW LONG HAS OOGWAY WATCHED SHIFU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WITH HER THAN HE DID TAI LUNG AND DONE NOTHING? TO HELP?
Oh yeah and then, when Tigress gets the tar beaten out of her by Boar because she’s still trying to use the forms Shifu insisted she should be using (even as it is literally getting HER killed), Oogway not only doesn’t do anything to help her, he makes Shifu stand there and watch as he almost loses ANOTHER student, ANOTHER (almost) ADPOTED CHILD.
And? AND???? Oogway could have healed Shifu whenever he wanted? Just like he could have TALKED TO TIGRESS whenever he wanted! For fucks sake if he’s so in tune with the universe and so wise, why didn’t he just wander around the nearby villages and FIND the other Five himself? TIGRESS FOUND VIPER AND MONKEY WITOUT ANY DIRECTIONS OTHER THAN AN OCCUPATION TITLE! THEY WERE RIGHT THERE!!! MONEKY’S BACKSTORY SAYS HE AND OOGWAY EVEN MET BEFORE!
'oogway knew shifu and trigress needed to go through all this in order to grow as people'
PAIN ISN'T THE ONLY WAY FOR PEOPLE TO GROW. SOMETIMES PAIN BREAKS PEOPLE! SOMETIMS CHALLENGES AREN'T WORTH THE SUFFERING IT TAKES TO SURVIVE THEM!
and SOMETIMES IT LEAVES PEOPLE WEAKER THAN BEFORE- SEE, SHIFU BEING UNABLE TO OPEN UP FULLY WITH TIGRESS AS A FATHER THE WAY HE DID WITH TAI LUNG, BECAUSE-- OH WOW, THAT ENDED BADLY AND SEEING THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN TAI LUNG AND TIGRESS HURTS AND SCARED SHIFU!!!!
it's almost as if all three of them could have used the guidance and support of a wise and kindly older friend.... instead of series of tests and trials to 'help them' become whatever they were 'meant to be'
Oh but oogway was saved by pandas and now theres a panda orphan being raised in the village nearby (am i really supposed to believe oogway wouldn't notice PANDA right next door to him) and if a flyer from his dad’s noodle shop leads to shifu getting food poisoning then everything must be part of the grand plan to someday make a panda oogway’s ‘true heir’ or whatever.
Hm? What’s that? Po’s only an orphan because a warlord killed his mom and destroyed his home? And all that happened ALSO because of a dumb prophecy and an obsession with destiny?
Oh wow that also must be the universe talking and totally not be a thing oogway maybe could have helped with or something.
(i don't think oogway was trying to hurt people or be selfish. but intentions are only useful in so far as they might make you change course once you see the damage you are un-intentionally causing, and ooogway... seems to have failed that spot check. which, you know, fair, most of us do. he just happens to be causing a lot more damage than a normal person would be capable of)
Oogway's pacifism is both extreme and twisted.
He won't 'fix' mistakes or accidents because he believes it's all part of some future destiny... but inaction is also an action with consequences, and who is he to decide the destiny of others by even deciding they have one?
Well. He's the most powerful guy around. It's not like there's anyone around to challenge him or prove him wrong.
....Po, sweetie, now that you're enlightened an all, could you go to the spirit realm and kick oogway's butt a little? for me? thanks dude love u
On the other hand, Po and Tigress being the anti-Oogway and Shifu respectively gives me life.
like yes! always try to be better, always try to help! be accepting of others differences and pain and traumas and do everything you can think of to be there for them when they need it! Admit when you fail! Admit when you mess up! Make friends and reach out- Ask for help when you need it too!
You don't have to be perfect to be a friend!
It's better to know and accept that you won't ever be perfect, actually, and still decide that you are worthwhile. And that so is everyone else.
TLDR: oogway's ability to find inner peace and ascend off to retirement even while everything around him is going to heck is a very inward-facing thing, which says a lot about him. I think maybe he needs to re-do his spiritual enlightenment, i think he missed a spot. But if his only goal is to break away from earthy attachments and pain and people in general, well, gold star for that. He succeeded. I sure as hell wouldn't want to.
funny thing is, i only ended up watching kfp because my depressed nephew is into taoism and wanted someone to talk about the movies with. thats not destiny tho, oogway, that's just being a friend
#kfp#oogway#tigress#master tigress#shifu#very personal opinion#i dont hate oogway he's a fun character but boy do i disagree with him#another victim of trying to write perfect paragon mentor figures without acknowledging that there is no such thing irl#and the people who think they are that are ones you should run away from very fast#like#with all possible haste
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questions i have for the signs
libra suns – do you learn a lot from observing other people’s behaviours? because libras do so well in group settings, and they value their emotional intelligence and ability for being likeable a lot. once, a libra sun man came up to me and just told me that he learned a lot of his behaviours from observing others and that’s how he learned better coping mechanisms/better ways of expressing himself and his emotions. at first, i found that absolutely preposterous because as someone who’s always focused so much on my own individuality and authenticity, the thought of taking aspects from other people just repulsed me, but the more i think about it, the more it makes sense – after all, there’s so much to learn from others and since observational skills are so important, why not use them to better ourselves?
also, to my libra suns once again – how the hell have you managed to build a reputation for being stable and peaceful? i swear every libra i’ve ever met was absolutely unstable – the type to throw their phones on the wall during arguments, to randomly go up to me and start psychoanalysing me, to immediately go confrontational mode no matter if they were in the middle of class, simply because they couldn’t leave shit unresolved. i’ve noticed your tendency for playing devil’s advocate in every situation in the name of “fairness” has you being VERY confrontational. it’s kinda refreshing not gonna lie.
now, ladies.. have we noticed how misogynistic cancer sun men can be or am i losing my mind? i swear to god i’ve never met ONE in my life who didn’t have extremely sexist opinions. even the ones who seem like great people and who get along with everybody – they still think that girls who sleep around casually have no self-respect and that sex workers are disgusting. also, hating on girls for doing the buss it challenge and for posting pictures where they’re showing skin and feeling themselves? saying they’re sluts? as if they’re not the same men who click on those videos? not only the misogynist part, but also extreme anger issues that come out at the most unexpected times. i believe it’s their traditionalist views and their hatred for their own femininity that has them projecting their insecurities onto other women. either way, cancer men terrify me. perhaps it’s that my father’s a cancer and he’s the blueprint of all terrible men in my life, or perhaps cancer men really are batshit crazy. either way, please change my mind lol there are probably some good ones out there but my experience has me believing otherwise
pisces mars – (18+) do you get pleasure from simply pleasuring your partner? i do this and i feel like it’s to a point where it’s toxic, every time i’m the one receiving i’ll be thinking about how i could be using this time to pleasure them instead, even if it feels really good. i don’t know what it is but the act of knowing i’m making someone feel good feels 1000 times better than everything else, it feels my soul and i think it’s a pisces mars thing. it’s crazy because it’s only in sexual matters, in day-to-day basis i’m very assertive but in bed i’m extremely submissive and just want to fulfil all of my partner’s needs. do you also have very intricate sexual fantasies that you’re constantly thinking about? also, are you masoquistic? i’ve seen other pisces mars talking about this, about how they get off on pain a lot and it makes me feel less alone. it might also relate to lilith in the 12th house because it indicates mixing pain with pleasure + escapism through fantasies + some very extreme fetishes like r*pe-play. let’s start this discussion lol
leo placements – how does it feel like being the baddest bitches alive? serious answers only. also stop making me fall in love with you it’s annoying
capricorn/scorpio suns, do you gravitate a lot towards one another? im a capricorn and i attract a lot of scorpio placements, and scorpios are the people who bring me the most intense personal transformations. it’s also definitely because i have scorpio in the 8th, but either way, i feel like these two signs attract each other like crazy because they’re the darkest signs. scorpio simbolizes death while capricorn simbolizes the devil, they’re both so difficult, complex and drawn to dark topics that i feel like it’s a match made in heaven – or hell. i’ve also observed that the most powerful power-couples in media are always relationships between capricorns and scorpios, too.
moon in the 10th house natives – do people baby you a lot? i feel like i’ll just be walking down the streets and my friends will be screaming at me to be careful like i’m a 5 year old, or offering to do things for me, or feeling an inherent need to supervise me as if i’ll get in deep shit if i’m left alone for more than 5 minutes LOL but i do think it’s something about this placement. moon in the 10th indicates being very emotional and getting easily overwhelmed, also a lot of charisma and being very sensitive when it comes to personal relationships. also the way we radiate authority makes others unconsciously be more obedient towards our needs, and we have a very strong need to protect others and create a family within our friend groups, which might be creating these dynamics.
leo suns/moons/risings – do you feel like having a low self-esteem quite literally contributes to the deterioration of your physical health? i think there’s such a stark difference between when you’re feeling insecure and in an unhealthy relationship vs when you leave the toxicity behind and work on your self-confidence, there’s an immediate glow up, like you’re literally glowing and it shows.
gemini suns – why do so many people hate you? even people who know nothing about astrology will say they hate geminis. genuine question because geminis are one of my favorite signs. i think it’s something about the way you easily adapt to other people’s personalities and mirror their energy, so you’ve built this reputation for being two-faced when you’re literally just.. socially intelligent.
air moons – how tf can you turn your emotions off? what do you mean using logic instead of feelings i will literally unalive myself
capricorn moons – how does it feel like having healthy coping mechanisms? oh wait, it’s not like you’d know LMFAOOOO
scorpio mars – are you as sexual as people portray you to be or do you feel a bit weird about the way people talk about you? because people always talk about scorpio mars as this sex machines, but like.. scorpio’s a water sign. very sensitive. i’ve noticed you guys literally avoid having sex with people because it’s like giving them a part of your soul, and you know you’ll get extremely attached to them afterwards. is sex a casual thing for you or can you only feel satisfied when there’s an emotional connection established? this goes for all water sign mars by the way.
scorpio risings – do you only listen to music that you feel has a deep meaning? my brother is a scorpio rising and he prides himself a lot on his music taste and how deep the music he listens to is. and as an aries rising im just like.. sir i listen to doja cat because hearing her sing about sex and fat tiddies makes me happy
#capricorn#capricorn moon#scorpio#scorpio moon#scorpio mars#pisces mars#cancer mars#leo#leo moon#leo rising#libra#libra rising#libra moon#gemini#gemini moon#aquarius moon#moon in the 10th house#pisces in the 12th house#cancer#scorpio rising#astrology
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Sprig and Anne for the character writing meme! (im pretty sure you've wrote stuff with Sprig before, if not just Anne please)
Pick a character I’ve written and I will explain the top ~three to five ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.
Sprig is constantly on Anne. This isn't hyperbole. I don't think there's been a single episode where Sprig hasn't hopped onto Anne's shoulder, or grabbed her for a hug, or touched her arm. He's a clingy boy!
Sprig is great at plans on the fly, but strategy is not his forte. He doesn't think through a lot of his ideas. He's a kid! He just wants to explore, and touch everything, and go on adventures.
Desperate for other people's approval. Mrs. Croaker, the Boonchuys, random theatre kids- if they breathe and don't like him, he will try to change it, even if it doesn't always work out. I think it goes hand in hand with him wanting a big family.
I start all my writing advice for Anne with this, but it always bears mentioning. Loyal! To! A! Fault! Anne will do anything for the people she cares about and will go back to them time and time again even if they hurt her. It can make writing certain motivations for her complicated, but it can also make you put interesting spins on them, too.
Doesn't. Fuggin. Talk about her issues? Ever? Fuck, even in season one, Anne puts her own pains aside for others- from something as simple as a camping trip to something as complex as the pressure she's been putting herself under. Season two literally starts with Anne denying that she's hurting from Sasha still. Season three has her lying to her parents rather than burden them with their problems. I think a good way to think/write about that is when Sprig shot that water balloon at her in Escape to Amphibia- when asked, she replied that she was physically fine, and wouldn't admit to anything until Sprig pried, even after crying literal minutes before.
Anne's demeanor was usually pretty relaxed. She was always lounging on something, always looking through her phone. That's changed since season three- she's straight-backed, tense, focused on the problem at hand. People will have Noticed.
Literally every main character in this show except Sprig and Polly has betrayed Anne. It's happened again and again and she's probably just waiting for the next knife in the back. She's gonna be sus of others intentions when they hide them.
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it's legit so fucked up and I'm never gonna get over it. like, given taylor's background and what she went through, her doing what she did to bobby is inexcusable. and her "explanation" makes it 1000 times worse. if you're gonna tell other people's stories bc you hate telling your own, and you KNOW how devastating having your most traumatic event in life be exploited, you'd think she would be more sensitive and less willing to exploit other people for a soundbite/ratings/clicks. but she's not. maybe if they had her show any remorse and actually apologize for her previous actions and maybe have her report on people suffering actual injustice and getting their story out there, I'd feel different. but she's still doing the same shit over and over, so nah
go off!!!
like, i get she had a tumultuous childhood, but did no one teach her to treat others how she wants to be treated?? she knows the pain of having her tragedy exploited for other's gain. and that's exactly what she does over and over again. so many people who like her said she grew, and she'd changed, but you literally just have to look at her actions in ghost stories to see that she didn't.
like, sure, the whole, hiring a hit man to kill your wife, who then gets hired to kill you, and falls in love with your wife is an extremely marketable story, and one easy to sensationalize. but that's all it is to her--a story, and not a marriage that fell apart so drastically that everyone involved tried to kill each other, and one man ended up shot and buried alive. and sure, the show framed it as something funny and ridiculous, but it doesn't change the tragedy of it, either. and she was being so brash in trying to interview one of the parties that a police officer had to be stationed outside a hospital room to keep her out. i don't think it occurred to her even once that she should ask herself if this was a story that needed to be told.
her lack of empathy and compassion in her reporting will always rub me the wrong way at the very least, and im counting down the minutes until she is gone forever <3
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Hey! I have a really loud and particular laugh that seems to carry quite literally throughout my house and there have been many times people have bought it up with me (I can’t help it my laugh is just loud & contagious!!). Could I request the bros reaction to MC who quite literally is unable to laugh quietly and ends up being heard through the whole of the house? Thank you!🥰
This is so sweet, geez imma get cavities. I also have a very loud laugh and I startle people a lot when I start laughing so I get what you mean!
These HCs are probably written a lot better because suddenly I’m full energy and motivation-
———————————————
The Brothers with an MC who has a loud and particular laugh:
Lucifer:
-He’ll never admit it but whenever you start laughing or even smiling, he can’t really stop himself from doing it too
-Like, he looks at you as you start cackling about a funny meme Levi just showed you and he’s holding back a smile-
-Because, even though you have such a loud and some would say ‘obnoxious’ laugh, he thinks you just sound so precious
-He really struggles to show that he’s not affected by you as much as he actually is
-Even if you start laughing at an inappropriate time, he’d likely not even tell you off properly
- Would never say anything of the sort to your face, but he low-key admires you
-He thinks it’s amazing that a simple human like you that has experienced so many horrible things every since they arrived in literal hell, can have the ability to laugh so heartily even now
-If you’re in public and start doing your boisterous laugh, he will keep a stoic expression on his face
-There’s a hint of a blush on his cheeks if you look close enough, though I doubt anyone is crazy enough to point it out
-In private though? Appreciate these moments y’all, because it’s one of the few rare times you’ll see him laugh freely
-Even when he’s around his brothers and trying to keep a straight face, you can see his lips threatening to curve upwards
-Basically, he thinks you’re baby and your laugh makes him feel at ease
Mammon:
-I head canon that he also has a very particular laugh because he gives off those kind of vibes
-He probably doesn’t even notice how loud you are when you start wheezing
-Normally, he’d join in and start laughing with you as the rest of the brothers take out their sound blocking ear muffs for the third time that day
-You two are loud ok?
-Poor Lucifer who not only has insomnia and is a workaholic, he also has two idiots giggling to themselves in the middle of the night
-When I said Mammon is trying to get a laugh out of you any hour of the day
-I mean any hour
-He will wake you up to just hear your voice and then proceed to run out as you start yelling at him
-Even if he were to notice it, the worst reaction you’re gonna get out of him is a bit of teasing
-“Ya sound like you’re dyin’ over there human. You alright?”
-When in reality, he’s even more smitten with you because your laugh is just another one of your amazing qualities
-Mammon does the stupidest shit in front of you to make you and hear you laugh because it warms his heart
-Even if he wouldn’t admit it, to you or to himself
-The only time he ‘doesn’t like’ it when you laugh is if you’re poking fun at him with his brothers
-That gets him all huffy puffy and sad
-For a minute, before he’s thrown himself onto you again
-Greedy for money and greedy for affection of course
Levi:
-ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap
-“YOU SOUND JUST LIKE THE MAIN CHARACATER’S LOVE INTEREST FROM THIS NEW ANIME I’M WATCHING! IT’S CALLED: PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I’M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND BUT I’M ACTUALLY NOT, THOUGH WHOA THEY HAVE SUCH A PRETTY LAUGH!”
-Catch him rambling about it for five minutes straight
-Before stopping abruptly, flushing from head to toe and starting to stutter like he forgot how to speak
-This usually has you laughing again, in a more sympathetic and encouraging way and he just...dies
-He doesn’t like his laugh, at all
-He thinks it sounds really awkward and tense
-So he’s low-key jealous about your rather impulsive laugh because it’s so sweet??? And amazing and cute??? Just like you???
-But at the same time, it’s hard for him to be jealous of it when he loves it so much
-Why do you think he keeps coming to you whenever he finds funny memes or compilations online???
-“I don’t expect a normie like you to understand but look at this.”
-He gets a stupidly cute kick out of knowing that he is the one making you laugh
-I suggest trying not to laugh too much while he’s playing video games because your laugh distracts him so much
-And he will throw his headset at you
-Affectionately of course
Satan:
-He doesn’t give much of a reaction besides a quirked eyebrow and a quiet ‘Oh?’
-Sure, he doesn’t really like it when his brothers are being noisy either because they’re laughing too loudly or because they are fighting gladiator style outside his room
-But you’re the exception
-The only person in that household that could get away with interrupting his reading/work is you
-May come as a surprise to some, but sometimes Satan does get worried for you
-If he hasn’t seen you in a while he might start thinking that something is wrong
-But then he’d hear you laughing from downstairs and he’d smile and think “Eh they’re alright.”
-He thinks your laugh sounds so much more endearing than his own psychotic laugh 🥰🥰🥰
-Will throw one of his precious books at any of his brothers if they make fun of the way you laugh
-Basically, he has the biggest heart eyes for you but he’s too good at hiding it
-Laugh with him whenever something embarrassing happens to Lucifer and he will be so pleased and happy for the rest of the day
Asmo:
-“MC my dear, has anyone mentioned what a wonderfully charming laugh you have? And that says something coming from me.”
-Asmo also has a very noticeable laugh
-Not exactly loud but it could be considered obnoxious (to his brothers) and he giggles all the time when he’s very excited
-Having Asmodeous as your partner is basically the same thing as dating your best friend
-Despite being the Avatar of Lust, your relationship with him is super healthy and even he takes comfort in that
-You’d both be chuckling to yourselves in Majolish or something because this bïtch is hilarious if he wants to be
-“Oh my Lord Diavolo! MC, look! I found the perfect outfit for Mammon!!”
-And it’s a Disney princess dress the size of a fuckn toddler
-You guys laughed so hard you got kicked out >:(
-But you ended up buying that dress for Mammon anyway lmaoo
-Spending too much time with Asmo is similar to the whole “I’m trying to be quiet in class but me and my friend keep laughing every time we look at each other”
-The way both of you have to strain yourselves from full on cackling when Lucifer has a go at either of you 😌
-Except you seriously can’t laugh because you will be ✨murdered✨
-“What do you mEAN YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR LAUGH, YOUR LAUGH IS GORGEOUS! NOT AS GORGEOUS AS MINE OBVIOUSLY BUT IT EASILY COMES IN SECOND!”
-That’s the kind of hype he gives you all day every day
Beel:
-The first time he properly heard you laugh was when you started making puns and you were laughing like crazy at your own jokes (samesies)
-And he just loves seeing you this happy because he gets happy and then he doesn’t even want to eat anymore, he just wants to hug you
-“I like your laugh. Do it again for me?”
-Your heart went doki doki
-It’s common for Beel to make you all flustered without meaning to and then you nervously start laughing again because you feel so awkward
-BUT your face brightens up so much when you start laughing or even smiling and he can’t help himself from complimenting you
-Your joyous and loud chuckles always cheer him up
-To the point where he completely forgets how hungry he is
-Took you a while to figure this one out but his mood sort of changes with yours??
-If you’re visibly sadder than usual, he his morale is also surprisingly low and he starts eating more than usual
-In comparison to when you’re all bubbly and doing that beautiful laugh of yours and he gets like these butterflies in his stomach instead of the usual pangs of pain and hunger
-So now he just wants to hear your voice in general on repeat for the rest of eternity
-Im not crying you are
Belphie:
-“You’re too loud dumbass, I’m tryin’ to nap here.”
-Will deadass throw a pillow at your face if you wake him up
-Like hes so rude and for what?
-He loves you and your annoying as fuck laugh, he really does I promise
-It’s a special, unique part of you and all that sappy crap
-But keep it up and you will have a very cranky boyfriend to deal with for the rest of the month
-He can be such an ass at times if he’s in a bad mood
-“I should tape your mouth shut.”
-“Kinky-“
-“Shut up.”
-But as much as he hates being woken up by somebody else, he would much prefer waking up to your voice rather anyone else’s
-You usually wake him up in the mornings to get ready for RAD and you start giggling every time he pulls a face at you and complains that he doesn’t wanna
-“What are you? An alarm clock?”
-And then he just sort of pulls you to him and goes with a completely straight face:
-“You’re annoying but you can be my alarm clock if you want to.”
-He’s either flirting or is so sleepy he’s being unusually soft hELP
—————————-
Thank you for reading! And for all the reblogs and follows. You guys don’t even know how much I appreciate your support. Especially at times when I’m not as motivated to write and now that the fandom has fizzled out a bit.
Also imma have to make a master list soon or something
Al~
#obey me#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me imagines#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me mc#🌸 comfort#⭐️ requests#☂️ demon brothers#💞 protective bois
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hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon
sickly
hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon
:^) anon my beloved;;;;; i love your brain. this could go two ways depending on whether you’re staying with phil or if you guys are online so i went with your staying with him. i also did a one shot but if you want hcs i hv no problem writing some :) i hope this is good!
cw: cursing
mumza and dadza take care of you:
it had finally happened. while covid wasn't fully over just yet, many had gotten the vaccine and conventions were opening up again. which meant two things: meetups and twitchcon. finally, you could meet some of your supporters and see your friends.
“mom, are we almost there?” your mom was driving you to the airbnb you’d be staying at with a few of the other dream smp members. at first, you assumed you’d all be staying in separate hotel rooms. but, this way, you could spend more time with friends, save money, and your mom wouldn’t have to be with you the whole time. there had already been many long conversations between philza and your mom to make sure you’d be safe staying with everyone.
“yes, sweetie. almost there. we’re just two minutes closter than when you asked earlier.” ok, sue you, maybe you were a bit excited. but really, who could blame you? making in person friends had never been easiest, so the majority of your friendship were with people online. not being able to see or meet anyone for so long had been excruciatingly painful.
within ten minutes, you had finally arrived at the airbnb. quickly jumping out you ran to the door, obnoxiously ringing the doorbell. through the door, you heard an accented voice yell out, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”. at this point you were springing up and down on your tippy-toes, ready to spring out of your skin.
the door opened and you were greeted by a very tired and annoyed looking wilbur, “hello?”.
` “WILBURRRR!!!” you were screaming in his face (unintentionally), waking him up from his drowsiness. you launched yourself in his arms, not paying attention to your mother’s bewildered expression. you quickly let go of him and shoved past him, “i’m gonna go say hi to everyone!” distantly you heard wilbur begin to talk to your mother, explaining what you guys were doing.
while running around you said hi to tommy, tubbo, ranboo, eret, fundy, niki, techno, phil and kristin. the others were either staying in another airbnb or in their own hotel rooms. after about thirty minutes, wilbur had finally stopped talking to your mom.
“yes, ma’am. i can promise you they’ll be completely safe. you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” wilbur was calmly talking with your mother, looking more and more tired by the minute.
“alright. thank you.” your mother called you over. “come give me a hug and say bye!” slowly dragging your limbs over, you let her hug you. behind you you could hear wilbur and phil laughing at you.
“bye mom…” she was holding onto you tightly, petting down your hair.
“oh, sweetie, i love you so much. i’m so happy you found something you're passionate about and made so many lovely friends while doing so.” as much as you loved your mom, the small snickers behind you were getting quite embarrassing. you could hear that tommy had joined in on the laughing.
“... i love you too, mom. can you let go now?” you tried pulling back, but all she did was pull you closer.
“oh, but i just don’t wanna let you go. i love you so much, you know that right?”
“i know, mom. i love you too. but you’ve gotta get home and i have to unpack and get ready for meeting with fans tomorrow.” you finally got her to pull away, “i love you mom, okay? thank you for letting me do this.”
“oh, i love you too, sweetie.” and with that, your mom left. after watching her pull out of the driveway and down the street, you whipped around.
“not. a. single. word.” you stared dead in the boy’s eyes, seeing just how much wilbur was about to burst out laughing.
“what? personally, i think it’s very sweet.” tommy was smiling, purposely pissing you off. “so sweet, how much your mom loves you.”
“shut your fucking mouth, tommy.” you stared deadpan at him and began walking inside and over to the kitchen.
“what? i didn’t say anything wrong! i was just simply commenting on your very, very sweet relationship with your mother.”
kristin moved forward to talk to you, “for what it’s worth, i do thing you hae a very sweet relationship with your mom.”
“thank you. you’re the only good one in this house, kristin minecraft.” with that she laughed, and you all continued on with your evening. after staying up late watching old youtube videos, you all went to bed. in the morning you would have your first day of three at twitchcon, meeting fans and other creators alike.
for around 10 hours, you stood in booths signing fanart, prints, notebooks, and the like. meeting so many different people was eye opening, just learning who supported you. at the end of the day everyone went to a restaurant to eat dinner after so long.
“this food… is so… fucking good.”
“agreed.” you and the rest of the so-called ‘bench trio’ were eating at what wilbur had deemed the ‘kiddy table’. after eating so much food you were all tired. the rest of your friends had already left, walking back to the airbnb. when it was finally time to leave the restaurant, it was pouring rain.
“WHY IS THE RAIN SO COLD IT’S LITERALLY SUMMER”
after running home you had gone to sleep while the others had changed and taken showers. after sleeping for around ten hours, you had finally woken up. frankly, you felt like dogshit. you could barely breathe out of your stuffy nose and your head felt like it had been shoved full of wet cotton balls.
instead of staying in bed, you got up and tried to get ready. on the way downstairs to get food and see who was making so much noise, you fell face first down the stairs. “owwwww…”
hearing a ruckus, phil and kristin left the kitchen, where they were making pancakes. “holy shit! are you alright, mate?”
pushing phil over, kristin walked over to you, “obviously they’re not okay phil! the poor kid is lying on the floor.”
slowly getting up, you try to reassure both of them that you’re okay. “no, no, no, don’t worry. i am perfectly okay.” while you don’t know exactly how you sound, based on the expression on phil’s face, you don't think you sound very good.
“uh, yeah, how about no. you sound like you’ve draken a whale bottle of vodka.” phil walked over to you and grabbed you by the arm, trying to hold you up.
“i’m fineeee”
“no, your fucking not. you’re burning up.” phil looked at you, angrily. “you need to go to bed.”
“but i don’t wannaaaaa. i feel fineeee.” you felt like crying, for absolutely no reason. with that, you passed out on the floor.
phil and kristin somehow managed to get you back up the stairs and into bed. once you were safely in your room, with no risk of cracking your skull open, phil took your temperature. “mate, your temperature is at nearly 102°. you’re lucky i don’t take you to a hospital.” he started at you, disapprovingly.
“i’m sorryyyyy dadza. are you mad at me?” in your deluded state you pouted at him, like a child.
“no, i’m not mad at you. just disappointed. you should’ve known not to do that. you’re old enough to know when you’re sick.” he stared at you with a disapproving look.
“but that’s even worseeeeee” you felt like balling your eyes out. out of embarrassment, you tried to hide under your blanket. “can you tell mumza i’m sorry for worrying her?”
above you, you heard phil laugh. “it’s not that big a deal, kid. i’m just upset. you could’ve seriously hurt yourself. i was worried.”
“you were worried about me? awwwww, i love you too dadza.” you moved your head out of the blankets, smiling at him with dried tears and sweat on your face.
“yeah, yeah. now shut up and go to bed.”
kristin walked in, hearing what he said. “phil, don’t bully the kid. they already feel like shit.” out of the corner of your eye, you saw her look over to phil and smile at him.
“i’m not doing anything, swear on my life!” he put his hands up in defense of himself, making you laugh.
turning away from him, she directed her next question towards you. “how you feeling, kid? took quite a tumble there.” she smiled at you and ushed your hair out of your face.
“i’m sorry for worrying youuuuuu. i love you, mumza. promise.”
laughing, she leaned down to kiss you on the head. “love you too, kid. now, want me to sit with you and we can all watch some netflix or something?”
you silently nodded and the two of them joined you on the bed, not caring very much if they got sick. after not even an hour, you all passed out.
a few hours later, everyone returned back from the convention. let’s just say wilbur now had some very valuable blackmail.
hope you like it! this was so wholesome i- wfowcsjvri
i want parents like dadza and mumza now
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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
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VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)
yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao
word count: 5.6k
SERIES MASTERPOST
masterlist
Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.
Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been.
You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.
This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already.
You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.
Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.
At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind.
These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea.
After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:
“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”
His response came quickly.
“Done. Both.”
You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.
Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.
“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.
You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.
“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”
“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”
“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.
“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.
“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”
“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table.
You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently.
“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.
“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.
“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.
“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.
“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth.
“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”
“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.
The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.
“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”
Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion.
“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”
“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”
His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…
Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.
“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way.
You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.
“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.
“Oh.”
“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”
Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.
“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”
You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.
“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”
“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”
You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him.
“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”
“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.
“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”
“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”
“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”
“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”
“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”
“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”
“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.
“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.
“I… I’m not sure.”
“That sounded more like a no.”
“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”
“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”
“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”
Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.
“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”
You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.
“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”
“What?” you breathe out.
“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”
“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.
“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”
“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.
“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”
“Harry…”
“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”
You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again.
Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?
It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run.
He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance.
***
It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did.
You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all.
For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.
Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.
“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.
“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.
“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.
“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”
The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.
“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.
“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.
“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”
You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.
“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”
“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.
“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”
“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.
“Baba!” she exclaims.
“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.
When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.
“You want me to give you a ride?”
“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”
“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”
“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.
Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”
“Uh, sure. It is.”
“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”
“Great. Talk to you later.”
“Bye, babe.”
The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.
“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.
“Um… neutral, I guess?”
“That doesn’t sound promising.”
“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands.
“That’s nice, was it his idea?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”
“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”
“Harry, I…”
“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.
“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”
“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.
“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.
“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”
“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”
Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.
“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”
“What?”
“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.
Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.
“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind.
Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building.
“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.
“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”
“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”
“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”
“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.
“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”
“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”
At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.
“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”
Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.
“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”
“What?” you gasp.
“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”
Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.
“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”
“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.
“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”
He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again.
“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”
“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”
“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”
“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”
Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.
“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”
“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”
“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”
“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”
You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?
You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away.
“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.
“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”
“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”
At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.
“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.
By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor.
Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.
It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions.
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REWRITING NARUTO ROMANCES SO THEY DONT SUCK
We all know that the romance in Naruto is trash and Kishimoto himself admitted to not knowing how to write female characters and getting embarrassed by romantic scenes…so let’s fix that shit
part 1: NaruHina
(I wrote this down as my notes for the post but I actually like it this way so I’m just copy and paste my raw thoughts lol if you get offended you can write a letter to your local congressman, prime minister, or whoever rules over provinces in other countries)
First let’s shit on the original ship shall we
Naruhina…
- what the fuck was the build up to this relationship
- “I respect naruto and I want to be like him! But I’m too shy to talk to him! I even fainted when I saw him after the blank period! JK I HAVE MEGA HUGE BALLS AND CONFRONTED PAIN TO SAVE NARUTO!!!! Confessed my love and got my ass kicked….then didn’t speak to him until the fourth great ninja war and now we’re married with two kids” what the Fuck
- Also can we just talk about how after Hinata confessed her love…and literally almost died for naruto…he didn’t say SHIT to her after he defeated pain, and it was like she never confessed in the first place Lmfao
- He still liked Sakura! But Sakura always loved Sasuke so wtf
- He even was like “YEAH YEAH” when Minuto asked if Sakura was his girlfriend during the war. Then ten minutes later he’s holding hands with hinata and their love and shit (ft the rest of the ASF) and going up against fucking madara obito whatever… what the fuck
- AND THEN BAM THEY GET MARRIED AWWWWWWWWBWBWBWBLEEHHHH
- It makes no sense bro—people say Sasuke never shows his love for Sakura,…to me, naruto never gave a shit about Hinata, at least not romantically (he literally acted like her existence was forgotten for 3/4s of the show; at least Sasuke always acknowledged Sakura from the start)
- It also feels like narutos crush on Sakura was never resolved (I know that they’re supposed to be shown realizing that they aren’t into each other in The Last but…bro isn’t that way too fuckin late to make sense lmfao) He just suddenly shacked up with Hinata???? Bc her cousin died….Idk man that’s kinda fucked up lmfao
So let’s fucking fix this shitshow
- I get that Hinata is shy and stuff but that bitch is a fucking hyuga SHE IS POWERFUL SO GIVE HER MORE SCREENTIME KICKING ASS
- And can we??? Give her more lines in the first part???? Other than “n…n…naruto….” “N-naruto?” “Naruto!” Like wtf was that dude that shit was way more annoying to me than anything.
- We all know Hinata has thoughts feelings and opinions (as humans do) so let’s have her voice them sometimes okay
- Being shy doesn’t automatically make you mostly mute and constantly stuttering
- That stereotype makes me want to crush skulls bro
- Can we give her some balls before pains fight bc that made no sense
- Like maybe standing up to neji even a little bit and defending herself more during the chuunin exams
- I’m not saying she has to be like “HEY SHITHEAD IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS” bc that’s totally out of character but she totally could’ve been like “Hey you’re kinda wrong and pls show me respect as a member of your clan and an equal leaf shinobi”
- Also I get that Hinata was inspired by naruto but can we stop making every female character’s rise to power and want to be stronger related to a dude?
- Like fine if she was inspired by him but I think it would’ve been way more of a credit Hinata as a person if naruto simply REMINDED her of that part of herself that’s dedicated to proving her family wrong
- I’m just gonna write this as if it happened this way
- She keeps par with Neji, and does ultimate lose but it makes Neji see that Hinata is actually strong and a formidable opponent
- No more shit eating grins from that ego maniac
- And after Hinata battles Neji, she confronts naruto and thanks him for reminding her of her inner strength
- Naruto, who’s surprised that Hinata is talking to him, is like “yeah, sure thing, hinata. You did great!”
- And that opens the door for their real friendship
- Hinata is someone naruto can confide in about Sasuke, and he trusts her
- Hinata becomes someone that gives naruto compassionate advice, and he cherishes her comforting nature
- Then in part 2 after they’re all a bit older, naruto is kinda like “o” when he sees that Hinata has come into her wOmaNhOoD and he’s attracted to her.
- During the blank period he worked through his feelings and realized he only liked Sakura bc of his rivalry with Sasuke. End of that crap
- But naruto is dense as fuck and doesn’t see Hinata in a romantic way until she stands up for him against pain
- Hinata holds her own against pain for a bit bc she’s powerful in her own right but does get her ass beat anyway bc yk rinnegan and everything
- Naruto loses his shit seeing her cut down in front of him and defeats the last pain
- After naruto gives one of his MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES and changes nagato before his death, the entire village greets him as a hero
- Instead of Sakura running up to him to hug him in that strangely intimate way that’s out of character bc she doesn’t fucking like him that way
- Sakura gives naruto a good hug and is like “you did it buddy you’re pretty cool ig”
- Then naruto talks to Hinata bc she??? Confessed her love? And took a massive beating for him???
- And they start a sort of flirty relationship where they both like each other but like waaaay too much is going on to actually date
- Like they try to between pains assault and the five mage summit but with the news of Sasukes massive downfall and the bounty on his head naruto is like dude I can’t do this rn
- And Hinata is cool so ofc she understands even tho she’s a bit sad
- And during the war when minato asks if Sakura is narutos girlfriend he says “😅 no dad, we’re just good friends”
- Then he holds hands with Hinata and the village and sings kumbaya to kick the fuck out of madara obito
- Then they get married and shit proceeds as normal
- Except in boruto when everyone returns from the battle in the other dimension she doesn’t run up to naruto first okay she hugs her SON and says “thank goodness you’re safe!” And then hugs naruto and thanks him for his work
God fuck okay I’m done
#naruto#naruto uzimaki#naruto memes#naruto matchup#naruto ships#naruto couples#naruhina#masashi kishimoto#sasuke uchiha#sakura#sakura haruno
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