#literally no clue what the fuck I'm doing
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Day 1: Destined / Doomed
Doomed eternally by the narrative. No fucking clue where I was going with this one. Lineart is not my fortee. Well, art isn't my fortee but you know.
It's fucking midnight and now officially September 1st here where I live so f u this counts.
#qijiuweek2024#qijiu#svsss#yue qingyuan#shen jiu#literally no clue what the fuck I'm doing#I tried to make a less intensive style only to stumble and fall and feel like this one's eh?#idk experimentation shall continue#btw block the qijiuweek tag if you don't wanna see these#i have something for most days so I'm gonna be real fucking annoying this week#cw blood#cw mild body horror#cw mild gore#cw mild violence#uhhhh that should be all lmk if I missed any!
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Guess who: Gavin!
This is a sketch btw that I didn't feel like rendering so hahahaha. This is mostly for Asher which I promised to draw a really long time ago. I'm on break still but I thought it'd be funny to post this and then leave for 3 months. (I'm kidding)
Tag list:
@achios
@ashertickler
@astrodude-87
@aurorialwolf
@dukecollinsbf
@infinitelovewiithoutfulfilmentt
@moronkyne
@pandoraroid
@plaqying
@porters-fangs
@professionallyyappinabtangst
@puffin-smoke
@skunkox
@starlogician
@sunsickcrab
@themeridian
@tunacatfishes
@zimix-whispers
If you want to get added lol let me know.
#I GOT BORED#and I have classes so I genuinely will not see any of your responses until like#Thursday#maybe Friday#idk#c:#but#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted Gavin#redacted fanart#lucid is Picasso#for now#lol#I had no fucking clue how to horn and they're not even#so if we just IGNORE THAT#then#it's fine#I'm gonna go draw fem!damien and fem!huxley based off of lunas dti ok bye#literally Luna didn't even ask me to do that but any excuse to draw fem people is good enough#I havé a lot of drawing to catch up with#and I was fr like#BAM#Gavin!#like ok#(like I'm not drawing my blasian Damien rn)#very embarrassing of me but what's a schedule when you are unmedicated on every issue ever :D
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//went to the dr and all they did was take my fucking blood... again
#ooc#this time they're testing my vitamin d to see if i might be deficient#while i hope that's the case because that can be easily cured i've also HAD a vit d deficiency before and it felt NOTHING like this#granted i guess this could be a more severe deficiency#but idk i feel like they're laser focusing on the fatigue i initially reported and not the constant horrible body pain that's set in#and worsened in the couple months since i made the appointment#like i had the pain with the fatigue as well but it wasn't constant. now it's FUCKING CONSTANT.#it's not always at the worst possible level but it's pretty much always there in some form or another#and tbh this is like. the 3rd time they've taken blood with the first 2 tests yielding no clue as to what could be wrong with me#so i know they need to do it to check and/or rule out everything but like#it's so frustrating. being in constant pain. and constantly being told to 'wait for results' that so far have yielded nothing#nothing that points to what's wrong anyway#so i hope it IS a vit d deficiency and i hope my gut feeling that it's not is way off the mark#because a deficiency can be fixed with some supplements and boom all better#but if it's not.... then i have to face the reality that this is probably some kind of chronic illness#which i've been coming to realize that it might be#but it still fucking sucks#because this time last year i was Literally Fucking Fine#and now i'm just. so fucking sick. and sick of BEING sick.#and every time i go in i feel like i'm rushed right out. like i mention my concerns but i don't have the time to think if there's something#i've forgotten because they're rushing me towards the lab to get my blood drawn. again.#and usually there is#but this is literally the only clinic i can afford rn so#just gotta tough it out and cross my fingers that some vitamins are all i need
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Teruki blinks at him, and then he’s chuckling again and bowing his head down so he only sees the beginnings of brown roots coming in. When he lifts his head again his eyes are wet, but the pinks in his aura are soaking into his soul so much that he finds it really hard to be alarmed in the trance of it.
“Please don’t apologize,” Teruki whispers, blinking away the shine that reflects the slit of sun from the window. His voice wobbles and hitches at the end, and Shigeo shifts, widens his eyes a little, but then his partner is moving.
He leans over Shigeo’s chest, arches over the cracks that seep with energy carefully. Both of his hands are suddenly around his face and Teruki’s clamping his eyes shut and pressing their foreheads together, nose to nose, soul to soul. His hair tickles Shigeo’s jaw and his knee digs into his thigh, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t mind.
The coral hues sing; the golds roar.
“Please don’t. Please don’t do that to me,” his partner teeters, and the watermelon seeping into his skin is now tainted with harsher reds, deeper magentas. He can tell Teruki is trying so hard to keep it light, to keep it gentle and comforting for him—controlling an aura when emotions are high is one of the hardest things in the world.
And yet he’s holding his partner, who is crackling apart at the seems in every sense of the word, and all that seeps from him is a little fear that get snuffed out instantly upon exit.
#qkwrites#hi good news#only one chapter left.i think#switched up the ending a little bit from my original plans since it wasn't working. now it works better i think#flows better at least#very excited to write the last of this but also im like unreasonably nervous ?? it's a fanfic jay get a grip#if the ending is written poorly uhm. it's literally free.who is going to complain#obviously ill do my best but fuck dude . ido not know if i have the skills for this#only one way to find out i guess#the thing i'm most worried about actually is the epilogue i think#cuz i have <3No fucking clue what's going to be in the epilogue#ill figure it out tho i have a feeling it's one of those things ill stress over and then sit down to write it#and the next thing i know it's done and it wasn't hard at all#wow ok im shutting up now. bye <3
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max: oh my god i'm a horrible little homewrecker. i'm gonna ruin everything for them. there's no way either of them would ever like me back
chloe: holy fuckign shit i like them both?? is that even allowed??? dear god i'm a selfish greedy bastard and they're so gonna leave me
rachel: literally why aren't we having a threesome rn.
#rachel said 'what's the fucking hold up.' rachel said 'c'mon we could've been in a polycule groupchat by now'#rachel said 'what is the Matter with you two just make out already jfc do i need to instigate Everything around here'#no actually she would be both Delighted and Endlessly Irked to watch pricefield dancing around each other like a couple of fools#see also; rachel laying it on Extremely thick flirting w max literally every time they talk#but you can call her brick-wall caulfield bc she doesn't register Any of it. at all. not a fucking clue. it's kind of impressive#sorry been a Whack weekend so i'm apf posting to ease the pain shdfsjdhfsjdhgj#nebular.txt
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Seer's Snare team (they're lost.)
#fire emblem#I LOST MY. I LOST MY FUCKINGB MAROON COLORED PENCIL I ALWAYS USE FOR ALFONSE‼️‼️‼️‼️#unbelievable.#i did have this all sketched/colored final stages amd then. category 9 lost my colored pencil incident#i was SO UPSET HAHAHAHA#anyways w all the fuckinh blondes i collect it is fun to see how i can differentiate them#celine. celine i love you. i even love your bigass outrageous dress. i EVEN love the funky lacey details.#BUT DEAR FUCKING LORD‼️‼️‼️ GIRL WHY ARE YOU SO DRESS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#fe alfonse#fe celine#fe takumi#fe xane#also xane was kind of useless. btw. i'm not even sure why he's one of my most heavily built/invested units#AND he excelled the last seer's snare. no fuckinh clue what happened there esp cause like.#i'm not reading all that. (all the info about like. the specific seers snare seal enemies get)#if i had to guess maybe the issue is in there.#celine is FANTASTIC for seers snare though next time i'm considering not even bringing a healer#literally only having xane heal just to give him something to do. just along for the ride.#my art
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team star's boss battle music is actually so fucking good???? hello??????
#turns out i was just literally never in battle with any of them long enough to actually hear the whole thing lmAO#i dont think refrain is the right word here but#that second refrain (or w/e around the 2:15 mark up to it looping back around) is just. so fucking good????? it's subtle but good???#maybe around the 1:48 mark but again-- idk what music terms i'm thinking of it's been. a while.#good shit. can't believe i would beat these goobers in less than 2 minutes khdfkjs#had no clue the official theme was closer to six minutes long fjkhasdlkjf#anyways nobody look at me i'm not here#djdksfhl#i just need to talk into the void but like where else am i going to put this???? on facebook????? for my aunties to read???#unsuccessfully fighting off another scarlet fixation#was doing so well on getaway car but brain demanded we think about the sv kiddos again#i'm blaming it on i've been getting back into running and i had to put penny's boss battle music on my running playlist#it'll be a long time until i get to this point but i've already decided it's going to be my push to the 5k finish line music dshfklj#looking at my old running playlist the push to the finish line song i used was the Victory Is Right Before Your Eyes! from bw2 lol#anyways x2 nothing new under the sun here folks#talking tag#hope y'all are good i've genuinely missed you#but being offline is def better for my brain
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girls literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting
[life size replica of Courier's bike]
#akudama drive#< i don't think my posts are showing up in the tag anymore actually.....#now that they finished all showings. do you think they destroyed the bike or is it just Out In The World Somewhere#anyways I just finished watching the play#i'm literally the only one who has the disk but i'm like the last person to have watched it#and it's like. exactly what i expected. which is to say it's good#i have no fucking clue what anyone was saying but the ending was so sweet#like Kurosawa just seems so genuine she was literally sobbing at the end#and holy shit i remember complaining that Honda said all his lines really quick#well his normal speaking voice is like: hiimplayingcutthroat 'n mynameishondareothankyouforcoming#but I do appreciate how he puts in so much in-character energy even when he's just in the background#and all the undertones of the bond between the actors 🥺 like Master and Courier's actors seemed to get along really well#i find it strange that they sort of removed Boss from it#like she shows up twice as a disembodied voice (i think it's her actual VA too) and that's it????#where's Sniper's actor lurking in the background >:(#rave ramblees#am i happy about the near $200 i spent on this? no#am i happy that I have it and it's properly archived forever? yes absolutely#i couldn't stand the idea that the play would only exist in the memories of whoever saw it#and the few who owned the disks but didn't rip it. leaving it vulnerable to destruction via scratches/degradation#the chinese uploader on bilibili definitely had a rip of it though so it's fucking annoying that they only released a few minutes of it
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me to myself when i'm in a bad mood: do u fucking mind?????? some of us are tryna vibe and this energy Ain't Fuckin It bro. might i suggest you chill out mayhaps?
#literally like#what crawled up my ass and died?????#me to me rn:#bro why are u such a bitch#ur harshing my vibe#fuckin chill#idk WHY i'm in a shit pisspoor mood#i WAS doing (mostly) okay#and then i got home from work and my partner told me he went for a walk#and it sent me into Cunty Rage Mode#why? no clue!#i tell him to go for walks without me all the time so idk why i'm so mad he went for one without me#but#anyways i'm ranting about myself bc i'm annoying myself#and maybe getting it Out There will help me chill the fuck out#personal rambles#ignore this#not stargate
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finally getting ready for work..... I GUESS!!! whatever
#.txt#i have absolutely genuinely no clue what i'm doing with those toothbrushes today assuming that's still a problem. SIGH.#but thankfully i think i literally just have to do that and like..... fix that sidekick i've avoided all week.#and fill up the protein end cap. but that's like it. other than that Zone Time Babey#i should zone the makeup i haven't all week and if i don't do that once a week it gets so fucked so fast#as always. just typing my little journal on here to remember shit. bye.
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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday
#the fey speaks#which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post#like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work#so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful#i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha#i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it#would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself#but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it#like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have#no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk#and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away#and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral#so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back#its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )
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sometimes i worry that im being too autistic on the autism website
#kota.txt#Like oh shit is this a normal way to talk#Do my mutuals get what i'm trying to say#Surely they do if they follow me right#its like having to communicate by cutting words out of the dictionary#is what it feels like sometimes#like this is not the most concise or legible way to express this at all#but i dont have the energy to optimize it#^ Literally those two sentences is what i worry about like who the fuck says concise#and now i sound way too Um Acktually im an Intellectual Being Smart is a Curse nerd guy#Like no this is just how i talk sometimes idk why#I could also fully be making too mjch if a big deal out of this to the point where it reads as bragging or something#I have no clue. Fucking hell#Anyway if anyone can relate please lmk i am stranded on an island rn
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anyway I got curry yesterday and it fucked
#wordstag#and guess what. I got 2 eat curry for lunch today also. Because I had leftovers 😼#ummmmm I didn't really do much. Mmy friend came over & guess whatshe brought .#she got me. Some nice notebooks and also a bunch of colorful pens#which was absolutely crazy. You have no clue how bad I love pens of various quality.#I haven't actually used them yet 🐅🐅 she got me another set of pilot 02 G-7 pens though which was CRAZY !!!!#I couldn't justify spending that much on pens rhat I didn't rally need because I had other pens. Life finds a way thohgh#my green one ran out first (<had switched to largely writing in green) then my BLUE one ran out and it was like well fuck me .#Bur also like. I ddint NEED colorful pens. They were just really fucking nice ro have.#but dilemma over ! We have like a whole rainbow and some. Magic of friendship.#ummmmmm what else . Some volunteer stuff is starting soon and I'm kind of excited but#also what if they pelt rocks at me. That woild be quite disheartening.#I think I need 2.return a book to the library also. I wanna go 2 one of their book sales too#and comeplely irresponsibly buy a whole bag of books that I really don't Need but by god are books fun to have#I may also pick up a copy of house of leaves from my local Book Store because I have a gift card from. Literal years ago.#ummmm I really have Got to get a book shelf in here or something. Maybe I should get an ominous cardboard box.#ohman what else. I plan on writing my submission 4 neotwiny tonight then drawing the assets . Later.#complete jump in topic but I also wanna get a skirt I have like 0 Good skirts. Wanna get a patterned one maybe#I Could make a whole fit with my pink cardigan but also like . When else would I wear a pink heart themed skirt.#lacking in the generic shirts department.#anywya. Tomorrow we make cookies. This weekend we make a cake and also jam like our life depends on it. Don't think there's much wlse#have a good day and thanks for tuning into hit show watch twilightarcade abuse the tags feature like never before
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me rn taking algebra and chemistry
#I have a 98 in algebra rn somehow but it's getting so real and the only reason I have that grade is bc my prof gives us a practice test#Formatted exactly like the actual test and I just do it literally 30x until I have shit memorized#I don't actually know what I'm doing like idk what factoring is or how to simplify square roots I've just been memorizing steps 💀💀💀#And I have no fucking clue what I'm doing in chem I have a 90 in there but it's bc my prof knows he sucks and he literally gives us points#On our tests for free lmaoooo??? I'm always top 3 in the class w my test grades but I don't even know how to like. Calculate m w g/l#Idk dude numbers suck#I don't even need chem anymore bc I changed my major but i don't think I can drop it without fucking up my financial aid LOL
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I like having joined a book fandom that's still new and fresh cause we get to nerdily bond as we devour a release of a new book in the series and I get to see all the theories and discussions and memes in real time as opposed to years later when everyone else knows how it ends so I have to block the fandom bc of spoilers. It's a feeling I haven't had since a teenager bc as of late I drag my ass into a fandom like a decade after its hayday and miss all the fun stuff
But it sucks ass that I am no longer as weirdly and eerily patient like I was as a child and the nine month wait for Heavenly Tyrant to come out is driving me crazy
#iron widow#no for real i would freak out adults with how calmly and quietly I'd be patiently waiting for something to happen#it's because of the psychotic bipolar making time go past me in hyper time and hours seemed like five minutes to me starting in fourth grade#literally at one point in fourth grade i got sick of time flying for a few weeks that during quiet reading time i just burst out asking#'is time going by really fast for anyone else this year?' no one had any fucking clue what i was talking about lmafo#having a very overactive imagination helped too because even if i was bored while being patient i could entertain myself in my head#i would and still do craft elaborate stories in my head that i have no hope in writing down skilfully#so I'm not very often bored even as an adult#but goddamn am i incredibly less patient now that I'm on an antipsycotic now lol rip#time slowed down and now i have to experience instead of blinking it away#which ngl did ease up my anxiety over dying some day because I'm no longer in a maglev heading towards mortality in a few hours#but i am ridiculously impatient now after spending two thirds of my life experiencing hypertime#trade offs
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Sorry I'm insane today my mom finally made me watch the return of the king and I think it somehow fucked me up a little
#i literally have no fucking clue what the plot was but like. :( they're all friends :(#franks pippin btw#we didnt decide who anyone else is but frank is pippin#on a serious note i am genuinely Not Doing Well so I'm sorry if i don't post as much or if it's just reblogs#hopefully I'll be back to normal posting soon
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