#but i am ridiculously impatient now after spending two thirds of my life experiencing hypertime | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arctic-hands · 9 months ago

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I like having joined a book fandom that's still new and fresh cause we get to nerdily bond as we devour a release of a new book in the series and I get to see all the theories and discussions and memes in real time as opposed to years later when everyone else knows how it ends so I have to block the fandom bc of spoilers. It's a feeling I haven't had since a teenager bc as of late I drag my ass into a fandom like a decade after its hayday and miss all the fun stuff

But it sucks ass that I am no longer as weirdly and eerily patient like I was as a child and the nine month wait for Heavenly Tyrant to come out is driving me crazy

#iron widow #no for real i would freak out adults with how calmly and quietly I'd be patiently waiting for something to happen #it's because of the psychotic bipolar making time go past me in hyper time and hours seemed like five minutes to me starting in fourth grade #literally at one point in fourth grade i got sick of time flying for a few weeks that during quiet reading time i just burst out asking #'is time going by really fast for anyone else this year?' no one had any fucking clue what i was talking about lmafo #having a very overactive imagination helped too because even if i was bored while being patient i could entertain myself in my head #i would and still do craft elaborate stories in my head that i have no hope in writing down skilfully #so I'm not very often bored even as an adult #but goddamn am i incredibly less patient now that I'm on an antipsycotic now lol rip #time slowed down and now i have to experience instead of blinking it away #which ngl did ease up my anxiety over dying some day because I'm no longer in a maglev heading towards mortality in a few hours #but i am ridiculously impatient now after spending two thirds of my life experiencing hypertime #trade offs

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