#literally just forgot my age for 5 minutes

[vordemtodgefeit]

another assignment, another feedback deadline missed

[sans-enjoyer]

Inanimate Insanity Episode 16 Spoilers!!!!

its been like, two days since episode 16, and people are already arguing about Mephone's age. He is a child, and this didnt come out of nowhere guys, he's always BEEN a child:

^post from 2018!! 5 YEARS ago!

^Brian reposting art (amazing art btw<3) where Mephone is described as a CHILD and drawing in a childish way.

^Brian saying that Mephone is so young he doesn't even know how to SPELL.

Now; heres some stuff ive been hearing in argument against him being a child.

"Cobs is infantilizing him." I agree with this to a certain extent, he is acting like Mephone is a child who cant comprehend anything like an abusive parent. but thats where it stops. Children can ALSO be infantlized! But aside from that, Cobs even says; "I forgot how young you are!" Parents don't say that to their adult children, because it makes no sense unless Mephone is a child.

Secondly, why would Brian and Justin be doing the same thing? They say he's young!

"He has an adult voice." Robots don't hit puberty! This means nothing. Unless youre saying that the creators implied hes an adult because hes voiced by an adult, well i'll have to refer you to the images above.

"He hosts an entire show." Arguably not very well, also again, he's a robot, and also, theyre on an island! its not like you need a permit to film on a random island in god knows where. Any child can "host" a show if they have enough determination, general knowledge of how they work, and equipment, and would you know it Mephone has all three! He knows how they work because he watched them in meeple, and he can generate any equipment he needs.

"He's a robot, he doesn't have an age." True..? sort of...? But the thing is, being legally defined as a child is based off your mental capacity. Children arent as mentally/emotionally intelligent as grown adults, because they don't have the life experience nor the capacity to be. Mephone barely has ANY life experience, he grew up in Meeple, and then started the show immediately after leaving. And obviously, in Inanimate Insanity (and all object shows), robots are almost always sentient beings, unlike real life.

"He's much more mature than a child, especially one that couldn't spell." Debatable! First of all, he thinks things like 'going to jail for one day' and 'the calm down corner' are terrible punishments, like children. If you tell a child to go sit on the stairs for 5 minutes and frame it as a punishment, they will take it as serious as anything else. Secondly, he literally decided to make a random species of bat.. things? fight to the death because they ate his four month old ice cream. No mature person would do that... Thirdly, abused children ACT more mature than others because they HAVE to be. Abused children are not ALLOWED to act like children. They have to be mature for themselves because who else is going to be? Who else is going to take care of you when your parent doesn't? But that doesn't mean they arent still a child.

So now we tread into questionable territory. Is it okay to deny the idea that he is a child at all costs, just so you can ship him or sexualize him? There is really no other reason why you would deny that he is a child.

Now obviously; lets not harass anyone who has drawn ship art of him or sexualized him in the past. This stuff was not commonly known, most people thought he was an adult. But if you look deeper, he isn't.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, if anyone reads this far (￣^￣)ゞI know I usually only post art, but this is an important topic to me as i am very hyperfixated on Mephone4 i swear i can't control it guys!!

Feel free to make any counter points, im open to discussion, but i am also very set on this opinion. Have a good day everyone!!☆

[empressofmankind]

On My Silent Days

I Miss You A Little Louder

[Crocodile x female!OC]

Explicit with a capital E

Word count: 7k / 15 pages

A/N: Writing this has been my whole life the past 5 days, as anyone who has frequented my Dash recently can attest. I am obsessed with their chemistry.

Technically, this is part of 'The Show Must Go On'. You don't have to read it, but I recommend it. You'll get to know Shivs and her helter-skelter relationship with Buggy which sits as the background to this whole ordeal.

You see, this is like, Arabaste arch at the earliest - Cross Guild era more likely. By then, Shivs and Bugs have rollercoastered through so much bullshit and they've come out rock solid on the other side somehow. Clown keeps failing up, even with this relationship. Sir Crocodile finds the whole thing insulting, to say the least. And seems to think it is one well-placed remark away from utterly crumbling. Jealous ex, whomst? My dude, you fucked that up yourself. Repeatedly. You had more chances than you have fingers. Chemistry aside, this is absolutely a desert of his own making.

What else do you need to know? Shivs is only 2 or 3 years younger than Buggy (i.e. my age, come sue me), but Crocodile is 5 years older than the clown. So, she's in her mid 30s, he's in his mid 40s. She originally met him when he was maybe 28? Do the math. Oh yes, and for those less familiar with the Cross Guild era: our favourite clown has managed to accidentally become the lauded public face of what is actually Mihawk and Crocodile's venture. Understandably, the ex-warlords are a little miffed by this and spend decent amounts of time physically abusing poor Buggy.

Shivs' absolutely flawless plan is basically swapping sexual favours with her ex for get-out-of-jail-free cards for the clown.

My girl literally barging in here telling Croc: "I'll take ur cock if u leave my clown alone."

Yes. That's it. That's the plot.

She almost had him, too. Arguably, she had him the entire time. And then he gdamn snapped her from the pond edge like an unwitting gazelle in the last minute. Cuz we all - her included - forgot who we're dealing with for 14.5 pages straight. APPARENTLY.

screams into a pillow

Tag(s): Oh? Ok. Sexual favours! Is she fucking her boss? No, but he always makes it feel that way. Is she fucking her ex? Yes. Are they technically still married? Maybe. Blow jobs? Deep throat. Size kink? 100%. Filthy language. Graphic sex. Soft dom? Power bottom? I am on the fence. Little girl vibes on the margins, like, he tries. She too sassy and sooner a brat. Oh, orgasm denial! Big time. Humiliation? A little bit. Stretching? Yes. Moar size kink. Choking? Big yes. Spoiling? Also yes. She deserves nice things. Power imbalance? Yes. In whose direction? It kind of flip-flops. Did I need to spend so many words on their smoking and his cigars? Probably not, but it scratched an itch. With them, it counts as foreplay; I am sure. You know you're doing well when he takes the damn thing outta his mouth. World class banter, too. If I may say so myself. But really, the bottom line is that it's just oral and PIV dressed up real fancy.

ON MY SILENT DAYS 

I MISS YOU A LITTLE LOUDER

The double doors were as tall and foreboding as Shivs remembered. All bevelled hardwood and delicate gilding. She stood before them, gazing up. In the dead centre sat a brass knocker shaped like a bananawani's head, polished to a sheen. 

Knocking was for people with appointments, and waiting wasn't something she planned on doing here ever again. She put her palms against the cold, expensive wood and pushed the massive doors open as if breaking a siege. They swung on smooth hinges despite their weight and struck the marbled walls with resounding booms.

The opulent office beyond was exactly as she remembered. Marquina walls, fishbone parquet floors, blackwood furniture. The taxidermied juvenile bananawani set in the wall vitrine behind his desk was new. What had been there before? A map? A ship? No, a stone. An artefact of some kind riddled in curious glyphs.

Crocodile glanced up from his papers and the irritation flitting across his scarred face in the split second before he realised who'd dared barge in, set the hairs on the back of her neck on end. How often had she seen someone shrivel into a desiccated husk straight after that look?

Shivs held his pale gaze, set her jaw and strode into his office as if down the plank. 

The creak of leather as he leaned back in his seat. “You know I've killed people for less.”

She paused in front of his outrageous statement piece of a desk. She put her hands in the pockets of her baggy pants and forced her shoulders to unclench, her stance to relax. If Buggy’s dumb luck had managed to rub off on her in these past months, then now would be the time for it to start working for her.

“Lucky I am not ‘people’,” she said as she crossed her fingers in her pocket. 

Amusement squinted his eyes as the corner of his mouth twitched up behind his cigar. “No, you're not,” he said as he rose.

Shivs was not short. Not by any regular definition of the word. Buggy was only a head taller than her. She hadn't forgotten how tall Crocodile was, not really. And yet, as he came around his desk and towards her, there appeared to be no end to him as he approached. If she reached up, stretched her arm, she could nick his cigar. But only just.

"Do you still smoke?" he said as he stopped well within her personal space, forcing her to crane her neck to meet his gaze. He took a flat, brass case from the inside pocket of his coat and held it out to her. She remembered it. Remembered the exquisite taste of the narrow cigarillos in it.

"No."

"Liar." His gaze flicked down along his cigar at her. "You smell of cigarettes, doll."

"I have changed my ways."

Humour flitted under his gravelly voice. "For the worse." 

Shivs pursed her lips. "It's an expensive lifestyle when they don't come free with a goodnight kiss."

"Hah." 

The bark of laughter actually reached his eyes, crinkling their crow's feet for a moment. He held out the case to her again. "You poor thing. I do support charities, you know."

She took it this time and flipped it open. The rich waft of tobacco and sweet Goji berries greeted her as if no time had passed at all. Might as well enjoy her sojourn back to hell while she could.

She put one of the thin cigarillos between her lips and let him light it. Watched the firelight catch and reflect in his rings. Took a moment to savour the blend, rich and sweet as polished Beli.

They were very good.

Always had been.

Shivs took the cigarillo from between her lips and blew the smoke up in rings through a slow smile. They almost reached him.

Crocodile leaned down through the cloudy hoops to pluck the shoulder of her red-and-white striped sweater between thumb and index finger, a judgemental 'hmph' escaping around his cigar.

She enjoyed the expensive smoke and his fascination while it lasted. Maybe, just maybe, this would be enough? Letting him treat her like a doll badly in need of a better dress up? He liked to spoil, always had. Now, more than ever, he had the means to take it to completely nonsensical levels. Her ego could take it, if that was the price of leaving Bugs alone.

Shivs indicated his everything with an up and down wave of her free hand. "No way to afford the good stuff on a waiter's salary."

He let go of the fabric to brush his thumb across the smear of grease paint near the collar, staining his skin and the gold of his ring red.

"Or a dud's haul." 

He hooked the silk kerchief from his vest's breast pocket and wiped his hand. She followed the length of his arm up to his face.

"The entertainment isn't half bad."

“Yes.” He chewed the butt of his cigar, derision twitching his thin lips as he tucked the kerchief into an inside pocket of his coat. “His pathetic antics can be mildly amusing.”

Shivs’ grip on the cigarillo tightened, but she smiled pleasantly. “I like it when a man can make me laugh,” she said, pointing at him with the thin smoke between her fingers. “Even if at his own expense.”

She frowned at his broad back when he turned away from her without a witty reply, retreating to the button tufted camelback near them.

“You're not here for a social call,” Crocodile stated as he sat down, putting his arms along the sofa's curved back. Something flitted past his pale eyes, but it was gone so fast Shivs couldn't nail it. “What do you want, doll?” 

Shivs rolled back and forth on the balls of her feet, pursing her lips as if preparing to drive a hard bargain. She intended to seem casual, unconcerned. But her palms were slick with sweat and her heartbeat drummed in her ears. She filled her mouth with smoke, tasting the rich flavours. Savouring them before blowing it out in small puffs through her pursed lips.

"I want you to leave him be," she said, extinguishing the cigarillo in his ashtray.

Crocodile shifted and put his shin across his knee. Her gaze flicked down and she saw him take note. 

"And if I do?"

She held his gaze. One breath, two breaths, moved her jaw but didn't form the words. She wanted him to leave Buggy alone. Even if that meant taking his… beating, instead.

He blew out smoke through his nose, waiting patiently for her answer. The hint of a smile lingered as his pale eyes held hers from above the waterline of his scar. And in that moment, he reminded her so strongly of a lurking crocodile. Watching. Waiting. Biding its time to strike. It sent a shiver down her spine, and not entirely out of fear.

Shivs pursed her lips, steeled her emotions, checked her resolve. I'll do it for you, Bugs. It's a deal I know he won't refuse.

She met his intense gaze head on, then dropped hers slowly to his crotch once more. Allowed it to linger there, before looking back up.

He chewed the butt of his cigar and beckoned her. "You never could fit all of me down that skilled throat of yours." 

Shivs watched him uncross his legs as she approached. She trailed her fingertips along his clothed thighs before leaning on them. It brought her face level with his and she deliberately took a moment to breathe in his secondhand smoke. 

“Want to judge if that hasn't changed for the worse?” she whispered against his lips as she savoured the distinct flavours that made up his private blend. 

Strong muscles flexed and relaxed under her palms, and she presumed that to mean ‘yes’. 

She ran her hands down his muscular thighs, taking in their shape until her palms rested on his knees. His breathing changed, she could tell from the way he exhaled smoke. Denser palls, deeper breaths. No resistance as she pushed his knees apart far enough to kneel between them.

Brushing her fingertips across his overstated belt buckle, she smiled to herself. Some things never changed. She slipped the tooled tip through the frame, her movements slow and deliberate as she listened for the subtle shifts in his breathing. She loosened the prong with a sharp tug on the strap, using more force than was strictly necessary. An undercurrent of need laced the grunt that escaped him in response. 

Shivs reached into his pants with both hands, catching his gaze as she drew his penis out, feeling it swell against her palms. She made a noise of appreciation as she let her hands slide down his shaft. His pale eyes hunting after hers when she broke their gaze to look at her fingers fitting around the base. She had not forgotten how tall this part of him was.

Leaning forward, she trailed teasing kisses from halfway down his shaft towards the tip. I’ve swallowed swords longer than this, and dicks aren’t even sharp, she thought as she flicked her tongue past the rim, playful-like. Length was only half the problem though, she knew that perfectly well.

She put a hand on his thigh and leaned on it as she ran the flat of her tongue across the head and took him into her mouth, suckling the tip. Inched his cock further with deliberately slow, short bobs, tilting her head to ensure he’d catch every movement of her lips as they worked around him. Need strained his stoic expression when she stole a glance up. A twitch of his eyebrows when the tip bumped against the back of her mouth. She sucked down and drew his cock back out, watched it twitch and his grip tighten on the backrest as she felt his thigh flex under her palm.

She took him into her mouth again and ran the tip of her tongue along the underside of his cock. Relaxed her neck and let it slip further than before, teasing at the entrance to her throat. Nudging it, stretching it just a bit before sucking down and drawing him back out, tasting precum for her efforts.

The frustrated groan that rumbled up from somewhere deep within his broad chest sent sparks flying down her spine. This is gonna work, she thought as he reached for her head, petted her hair while she teased the precum from him with fleet, wet kisses.

“Stop messing around and swallow my cock, sweetheart,” Crocodile grunted, pale eyes alight with hunger. The petting stopped, fingers tangling into the hair at the back of her neck instead. It was like the twitch on the line that told a fisherman to react.

Shivs glanced up along his hard shaft, and reeled him in: 

“Yes, Sir.”

The horny groan that drew from him, before she’d even begun to take him again, settled comfortably in her bones. Gotcha, she thought.

Shivs breathed slow, deep, steady breaths as she slid his cock along her tongue, lining him up. The head pushed past the entrance of her throat and she switched to shallow breaths through her nose. The grunts and huffs that escaped him every time she swallowed were inhuman and she needed more of it.

She slid his cock further down, felt his thighs tremble as she did. The closer she got, the more his musk pervaded every stifled breath she managed around his thick cock. It was a heavy, heady scent and she shifted her position to press her thighs together. He didn’t notice.

She stroked his legs, ran her hands up to his hips as she leaned closer, and took him deeper still. His fingers were fisted painfully tight into her hair, but his large hand followed her without force or resistance, resting heavily against the back of her neck.

Almost. 

Almost there.

And then the tip of her nose bumped against his flat stomach. She could hardly smirk with his dick this far down her throat but counted on the crinkle of her eyes to work for her as she caught his gaze and slowly raised her hands, palms up. She didn’t care that they trembled. 

Look. No hands, motherfucker.

Crocodile grinned down at her through a huff of smoke, cigar dangling between his teeth. She thought it looked a little worse for wear.

“The pathetic clown doesn’t know what a dirty little slut you are, does he?” Crocodile said, his gravelly voice thick with lust as he petted the back of her neck. “Giving such sweet head to save his sorry hide.” He ran his fingers along her throat as if trying to feel how far down his cock had gone. “I always knew you could do it, sweetheart.”

“Now,” he added as he huffed out a pall of smoke and she felt cool metal sliding around the back of her neck, barring a retreat. “I need my cock-hungry doll to make me feel good.”

Shivs dropped her hands to his hips, gripping the folds of hard muscle there for support. She slid her tongue between her bottom lip and the underside of his cock, making sloppy little noises with the slightest bob of her head. Even those small movements pressed the round curve of his hook into the back of her neck, sending a shiver down her spine that made her squeeze her thighs together. She didn’t bother to try and hide it.

His large hand joined his hook, strong fingers digging into the back of her head, twisting into the hair there and holding her put as his thick cock twitched so far down her throat she didn’t even know anymore where precisely she felt it. She worked her throat around him, drawing rumbling moans from him that pitched.

“Ah -nngh- you feel so good, doll. So. Damn perfect.” His thighs tensed under her arms, flexing his hips with short jerks. She closed her eyes as she swallowed around him, frowning with effort. His breathy grunts as he lightly fucked her throat made her pussy throb.

Suddenly, his grip tightened like a vice and he shoved her nose-first against his hard, trembling stomach muscles, stealing her breath. Her eyes flew open as her throat strained and cramped, swallowing around him in reflex.

 “Fuck, honey. Ah---! Yes, yes.” The satisfied, drawn-out moan as Crocodile spilled his hot cum down her throat reverberated through the quiet office. 

Her fingers dug around his hips, tears jumping into her eyes as she gagged, feeling cum come up around his cock as stars danced into her vision. His grip weakened as he rode out his orgasm and she pulled back before he was quite done pumping cum. Shivs swallowed it mindlessly while coming up for air. His dick slid wetly out of her throat and mouth, streaks of cum connecting them before they broke.

She glanced up from his softening cock, glistening with her saliva all the way to the hilt. He’d tilted his head back, held his cigar nowhere near his mouth as he came down from his orgasm with deep, steadying breaths that expanded his wide chest and flared his nostrils.

He straightened with a lazy groan and a roll of his broad shoulders. 

Shivs met his gaze, panting.

“You’re still my pretty little thing, aren’t you?” Crocodile said, his gravelly voice breathy as he reached for her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. The gold of his ring was smooth where his fingertip felt rough, the warm touch grounding her fried senses. It lingered at her eyepatch, lightly brushing the faded leather. “The things we let people do to our faces…”

He hooked the kerchief from his pocket and dabbed her mouth. She reached for his hand with both of hers, touching the back of it, taking the cloth. She watched him watch her as she cleaned her face.

“Don’t you have a new pretty thing? Miss Face-of-the-Casino in her cute kimono?” Shivs forced her tone to be casual, edged with light mockery, maybe. It was stupid that it’d stung when she’d seen the younger woman. An irrational, petty feeling. An old pain. And, none of her business, at any rate.

The dismissive look that flitted past his pale eyes was rather unexpected. “An investment, nothing more.”

“She’s pretty,” Shivs said. Perhaps, part of the sting had been the fact that Miss Pretty had not responded to her the way women did when they were into other women.

Crocodile looked at his cigar before putting it back in his mouth. “That she is.”

Their gazes crossed and she pursed her lips. He reached for her jaw, fingertips grazing its curve. Then leaned down and pressed a peck against her frown. She sat up and chased after him as he took another draw from his cigar, stole the aromatic smoke from him as she teased her tongue into his mouth. He blew it out through his nose, taking the cigar from his mouth as he caught the back of her neck with his hook and took control of the kiss.

“You can have one if you like, sweetheart,” he said when they broke apart, indicating his cigar. 

And lord, if she wasn't tempted.

“You share ‘em these days?”

His derisive ‘hmph’ made her smirk as she rose to her feet. 

“What about Miss Pretty? She enjoy your… cigars?” Shivs said, and noticed she’d gotten his cum all over Buggy’s sweater. Shit.

Crocodile glanced at her, pale eyes searching. “I prefer making deals with those who have something of value to offer, doll.”

Shivs put her hands in her pockets and rocked up on the balls of her feet with a mildly overacted grin. “Oh, it’s a deal then? You’ll play nice?”

“My compliance doesn’t come that cheap,” he said through a huff of smoke.

She crooked an eyebrow, risking a hint of ridicule in her tone. “Cheap? And here I was, thinking I have a unique skill up for offer.”

He actually cracked a smile as he flicked the butt of his cigar into the general direction of his desk and ashtray. Then beckoned her with hook and hand. 

“Come here, doll.”

It would have been too easy.

She sauntered back to him and linked her fingers with his, curling the others around his hook, letting him draw her into his lap, straddling his thighs. He shifted so his cock was between them, pressing against her clothed cunt.

“What else will it cost me?” she said as she rested her hands on his shoulders, lightly riding against him. Every rub along his dick pulsed pleasure up her spine, and she hadn’t failed to notice it was already stiffening again.

He stoked the tip of his hook along her cheek as his large hand took in the shape of her firm butt, guiding her movement. “I want to know if your tight pussy can take all of me now, too.”

“Here, on a couch?” she said as she slipped her fingertips under his coat and pushed it off his shoulders. She trailed her hands down the revers of his vest, grabbed hold of them as she dry humped against him. “I thought you said you weren’t cheap?”

The bark of laughter that drew from him shouldn’t make her smile the way it did.

He pressed a kiss against it. 

“I wouldn’t dare, honey,” Crocodile said as he gathered her up in his arms and rose smoothly from the couch, leaving his coat behind. He strode across his study and through the adjacent library to the expansive bedroom beyond. She remembered the sweeping view from its curving window wall and the sea of nightlights twinkling far below.

Instead of depositing her on his spacious bed, he set her down on the plush rug beside it. And motioned up and down her clothes with a dismissive gesture. “Take those rags off.”

Not my rags, Shivs thought as she kicked her boots aside, removed her baggy pants and grabbed the edge of the sweater. She didn’t wear a bra. She didn’t like them, and she hadn’t bothered wearing one this evening either.

Fingertips traced the lacy sides of her underwear while she had the sweater pulled over her head.

“You still have those.”

He sounded…not surprised. Curious, maybe?

“No reason to get rid of perfectly fine underwear,” she said as she freed herself from the sweater, finding he’d already undressed.

“They can stay on,” he said as she folded the sweater, her hand lingering on it before she turned to him.

“For now?”

A smile twitched the corner of his lips. 

“Here, doll.” He held something out to her, cream-coloured and neatly folded. It seemed small and delicate in his large hand.

When she took it, the fabric cascaded into a surprisingly classy, mid-thigh negligee of shimmering silk. The top was constructed from intricately detailed lace with tiny bananawani worked into the pattern.

“Pretty,” she said as she brushed a finger across the delicate lace. She put it on and it fit her so neatly it felt like a second skin. An outrageously luxurious second skin for the silk felt soft as sin and the lace light as air. She turned a full circle on her tiptoe, overacting it just a little. She knew he liked that.

“Looks good on you.” He reached for her head, combing his fingers through her tangled red hair, tucking stray bangs behind the strip of her eyepatch. “I’d never let you get so grimy.”

“Can’t be a dirty little slut if you wash me.”

“Hah.” Crocodile leaned down and scooped her up into his arms, just like that. “Come here before I shove my cock down your throat again to shut you up.”

“Don’t tempt me- ah!”

Her reply cut off when he suddenly let go, dropping her into his bed. And that was quite the distance, even if the landing was soft. He immediately climbed on top of her, caging her with his much larger body. She spread her legs, accommodating his wider hips as he reached for her breast. His thumb traced circles around her nipple through the fine lace, stiffening at his touch.

“Like what you see?”

“Always have, doll,” he rumbled against her collarbone. Though no longer smoking, she could still smell it on him. Would be able to pick it out of a crowd. Subtle tones that reminded her of burnt coffee, dry glass and cinnamon, mingling with the faint wax smell of his hair gel and heavier citric notes of his cologne.

A small gasp escaped her when he brushed the lace down and kissed her hard nipple, taking it into his mouth and licking the sensitive tip. She felt the curve of his hook press against her hip, hitching up the silk as his hand slipped between her thighs. Strong, confident fingers pressed against the fabric of her panties and outer labia underneath. It ignited old desires, flickering life into fires she’d thought snuffed out.

His rough fingers traced the delicate lace, undulating with its curling, stylised waves. Her breath caught when they found the edge along the crease of her thigh. A mewl on her lips as he dipped them under the smooth fabric, fingertips grazing the warm, sensitive skin of her outer labia and sending sparkles of anticipation up her spine. The delicate fabric stretched with an alarming whimper from the seams as strong digits brushed between her folds, not quite able to reach. He grunted against her breast at the soaked pussy he found there.

She felt him slip the hook under the edge, warm from resting against her hip. The thought of him pulling her panties down with it lit up every nerve in the vague vicinity of her hips. Her eyes snapped open at the sharp jerk, the sudden cry of fabric tearing at the seam between silk and lace. 

Shivs made a noise, nose wrinkling. Those were the nicest-.

“I’ll get you new ones,” Crocodile promised against the curve of her breast, his gaze down as he hooked the fabric from her hips. The hunger in his pale eyes as he looked at her pussy made her spread her legs further. He leaned down to caress her labia and press a light kiss against them that made her throb, thinking about his tongue.

A breathy huff escaped Shivs when he slid his middle finger between her folds instead, running slow circles around her inner labia. Gathering the moisture there before teasing them apart and brushing across her clenching entrance. Pleasure sizzled up her spine when he pressed it inside, mapping her inner walls and finding all the right places far too easily. If he kept this up, she was going to come very soon.

He switched to her other breast, teasing the sensitive skin as he inserted a second finger. “I seem to remember you liked getting your little hole stretched,” he rumbled against her nipple, and spread his large fingers apart. She moaned at the strength in them, the ease with which they pried her open. It sent twinges of sweet, sweet pressure blazing through the haze of need fogging her thoughts.

She reached down to his hand, stroke the back of it. Found his thumb and guided it against her clit with a needy moan. Her thighs trembled as he massaged it firmly, pushed his fingers all the way in, then spread them as he pulled out. She felt his knuckles and the hard edges of his rings press into her labia when he pushed them back in but she didn’t mind, kind of liked it. She reached a hand for his shoulder, neck, grabbing hold of the tout muscle there as she arched her back towards him. His pace was torturously slow and she was loving it.

Shivs let out a drawn out whine when he stopped, pulled at his neck, wrist, knowing perfectly well neither will give an inch but trying, anyway. She tried to clench her thighs, rub them together, nurse the need smouldering in her veins, but his knees were between hers and she writhed in vain.

Crocodile shifted unto his elbow, bunching the silk further up her hips while taking his hard dick in hand. A hoarse whisper close to her ear as he guided the head against her slick pussy: “Won’t you beg for my cock, sweetheart?”

“I need to feel your cock in me,” Shivs said as she caught his hungry gaze. “Feel it fill me, stretch me.”

He grunted with barely contained need, she could see it in the straining of his back as she reached for his thick neck, folding her hands behind it. Felt it in the way his hips twitched as he pressed his shaft through her wet folds, coating it with her juices.

“Am I not a good girl, sir?”

“Yes, you are.”

Shivs moaned loudly when he entered her. Whined at the delicious pressure as he pushed deeper into her soaking wet pussy, stretching her around him. She clung to his neck, mewling with incoherent need. Her hand went to his hair, messing it up but not caring. Neither did he.

“Ah -ngh- fuck,” Crocodile grunted, his breath hot against her neck.

Shivs held onto him for dear life as she arched against his hard body, savoured the sharp pleasure of him stretching her cramping, soaking cunt wide enough to plough through. He’d not bottomed out yet. If she could take him, she’d have him wrapped around her finger.

“You’re. Fuck. As tight. As I remember. Sweetheart,” Crocodile groaned into her neck, his gravelly voice strained to the point of being near unintelligible. It was getting tougher and tougher to push further through her tight, contracting walls.

“Almost there,” Shivs whispered as she brushed a stray bang of dark hair from his eyes.

The noise he made in response was inhuman and she drank it in as she closed her eyes, spread her legs further to accommodate his hips and relaxed every muscle she could still feel. A whimper bubbled from her lips when he pushed up against something deep within her that twitched a pleasure so sharp up her spine it sat right next to pain. 

“Fuck, yes,” he ground out as his hips pressed flush against hers, his breath hot, heavy pants buffeting against the crook of her neck. “Feels. So good.”

He managed to push himself up onto his elbow, satisfaction animating his whole face as he looked at their joined hips, her soft labia squashed against his pubes. Shivs whimpered, his movement nudging tight bursts of pleasure deep within her. 

“I knew you could do it, doll.” His tone was thick with lust, laboured from his heavy breathing. He gently brushed a strand of sweat-slick red hair from her forehead with his hook, looking so proud. “You like getting your little cunt stuffed, don’t you?"

Shivs gave a sharp nod, struggling to form words.

“I know you do, honey,” he whispered as he rolled his hips against hers, not truly thrusting. She reached for his face with trembling hands, stroking his hard jaw. He grunted under his breath with each push and she pressed pecks against the puffs of hot breath until he responded. Until he chased her tongue back into her own mouth and pressed her head back into the pillow with the desperate force of his kiss, demanding entrance with his tongue that she was more than willing to give. 

“That's all you g-got?” she whispered through a moan and a bated breath when they broke their kiss for want of air. “I b-barely feel it.”

“Ah? You want more, doll?” Crocodile pulled out with a grunt, just a fraction, before shoving himself back inside her to the hilt, making her mewl with pleasure through clenched teeth as his cock bottomed out and up against her cervix. “Shall I take you back to my study? Pound you bend over my desk, like I used to?”

Shivs whined into his mouth as she latched onto him again, arms tightening around his thick neck as her cunt squeezed around his cock from the pleasure coiling around her spine. If he took her from behind, he could probably push deeper still. Oh, she’d be in trouble.

“Who’s cheap now, hrm?” A breathy hum into her ear as the obscene slap of his hips against hers filled his bedroom. She whined in need, the heady mix of mind numbing pleasure laced with an edge of pain making her tremble against him. “Do you want to be my little whore again? My pretty fuck slut to sit on my cock whenever and wherever I want?”

All she could do was whine and roll her hips to meet his steady thrusts. Fingers digging into the taut muscles across his shoulders, keeping him close as he fucked her deeper than she’d ever felt a man, even him. She whimpered, the heady mix of mind numbing pleasure laced with an edge of pain all but overwhelming her. Especially when he thrust just right, shoving his cock against a sensitive spot so deep inside her she didn’t even know she had it.

“I missed my. Pretty cocksleeve,” Crocodile grunted into her ear. “The. Only. Little slut that can take me -hng- properly.”

“Fuck me harder,” Shivs whispered, hands massaging his broad shoulders. He groaned with effort, she could feel the bridled strength in the muscles working under her palms. His pace picked up, and so did the strain in his body. Every thrust stretched her so deliciously, stimulating every needy nerve inside of her. 

“Do it,” she moaned wantonly as his thrusts started to push her up on the bed, her weight no match against his strength. “I c-can take it.”

“Ah - hng- you’re. Going to. Make me cum, doll,” he growled through clenched teeth. He grabbed her shoulder, holding her in place as he jerked his thrusts up against her. Her mind was unravelling. The only thing she could think about was his cock filling her, burning up every single nerve she had as needy pleasure coiled in her belly. She wanted him to cum. She really did.

When he paused, she struggled to comprehend why. Her gaze found his. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his mouth slack to accommodate the deep breaths heaving his chest. He was barely holding still, strain thrumming through every inch of his large frame above her.

“Does. My pretty little thing want. Cum as deep in her tight pussy. As her pretty throat?”

She whined, pulled at his neck with both hands. “Y-yes.”

“Beg. For it.”

“P-please,” she whimpered as she tried to make him move, weakly rolled her hips towards him. 

“Please what?”

“Please, s-sir.”

The noise he uttered in response to that settled somewhere at the primal base of her brain. She wanted, no, needed, to hear it again.

“Please, sir. Pound my needy hole like I deserve,” she mewled into his ear, savouring the way his breath hitched, that noise came again. 

“Damnit, doll,” Crocodile grunted through clenched teeth as he picked up a pace that became quickly rougher, slightly erratic. He locked his hold on her shoulder, broad fingers digging around her thin muscles and narrow bones, keeping her put as he pounded into her soaking, cramping cunt. “Gonna fuck you so full, you'll be leaking my cum well into tomorrow.”

“Please, please, pleaaasse,” she whined and clenched around him as he fucked her into the sinfully soft matrass with long, deep strokes that shoved his cock shamelessly up against her cervix to fit it all in. She wanted, needed, to cum around it, desperate for release. “Fuck me full of cum, sir. Stuff my tight cunny like you did my slutty mouth.”

“I -ngh- will, honey. I am,” he ground out, barely intelligible as his pace lost all semblance of rhythm and he bucked against her in the grip of his orgasm’s first throes.

“Oh! Yes, yes,” she moaned as he shoved his throbbing cock as far as she could take it, cumming against the deepest corner of her cunt as she shuddered around his cock with unfulfilled need. He stayed buried inside her as he came down, breath erratic before steadying, slowing. She whimpered in need, clenching around his softening cock. She hadn’t been able to cum around it like she wanted. It was too thick to cramp enough for a proper orgasm. She knew that, but had thought maybe this time…

He knew it, too. Remembered it.

“You’re still my pretty little thing, aren’t you?” he said as he caressed her cheek, ran his thumb across her parted lips. “Unable to cum around a cock like a big girl.”

She made a small noise that he swallowed in a kiss.

They stayed that way until her breathing steadied as well. Then he sat up and gathered her into his lap. She held onto him, her cheek against his collarbone. Not quite ready yet to let go.

“You look parched, doll,” Crocodile said as he brushed a bang from her eyes.

Shivs peered up at him. “I would not say ‘no’ to a sweet white.”

A noise escaped him that could have been a fond one as he lifted her off his lap and rose. The sound of his retreating footsteps filled the quiet. He’d gone to his study, judging by the distance. Shivs got up as well and shimmied the negligee down. Despite everything, she did not feel like taking it off. It felt nice against her flushed skin.

She sauntered to the curved window wall and found the view precisely as she remembered it. A sea of nightlights twinkled across the city below, mirroring the deep blue, star-speckled sky above. The moon hung low, waning from view. It wasn’t long before he returned. She heard him uncork a bottle behind her and fill two glasses. The snap and swoosh of his lighter. The familiar scent of his cigar preceding him as he came to stand beside her, still naked.

He held a glass out to her, a cigarillo clamped against its curve. The wine was a deep bronze instead of the pale yellow usual to white wines. She accepted the glass and smoke, gaze lingering on the narrow slot through its delicate stem. It allowed him to hold them with his hook without slipping. She glanced sideways and up at him. A fond smile twitched her lips when she noticed his hair was neater than before. He’d evidently taken a comb to it for a hot second.

Shivs put the cigarillo in her mouth and turned to find his lighter lying on the nightstand beside the wine bottle, and a corkscrew with its split cork still attached. She glanced at the label as she lit the cigarillo. It read ‘1811’ in large, proud capitals, and a name in a curving script she couldn’t be bothered to try and decipher. She would not be able to afford it, anyway.

Taking a sip, she returned to his side. The wine was sweet, indeed. With hints of lime, honey, saffron. She made herself comfortable against him, her bum resting on his thigh. “It’s a nice view,” she said as she blew out a thin pall of smoke.

He glanced down at her and their gazes crossed as he idly stroked her hip. “It is.”

Shivs leaned into his touch, sipping the wine. It really was, very good.

“Clever scheme you’ve gotten up to, in order to save the loser’s sorry hide,” Crocodile remarked as he blew a smoke ring against the narrow cloud she’d just produced. “But it has a flaw.”

Shivs let her weight shift from his thigh to his loin, only the soft silk between them. “You sure?”

A self-satisfied smile twitched behind his cigar as he gave her hip a squeeze. “None of this will work on Dracule.”

Only because I don’t have a penis, she thought, but no matter. They may have both grown older, but Croki was still fundamentally the same man she’d left years ago. And that would work for her, she was sure of it. Inevitably, Mihawk would pick on Bugs. She would take it upon herself to get irritatingly upset about it. Mihawk would no doubt insult her next, and Sir Self-Satisified here would take it personally by-proxy and shut him up. It’d be a win.

“I’ll think of something,” Shivs said as she blew a thin pall through his smoke ring, dispersing it.

He glanced at her, amused. “He’s partial to good wine, at least.”

“I’ll take it under advisement.”

She nipped her own wine, idly rubbing her thighs together. Pleasure skulked around the base of her spine, denied but not forgotten. She made a little noise against her glass when she felt his hand move up her thigh, his thumb brush under the edge of the negligee.

“Still needy?” he said as he bunched up the fine silk, rubbing his middle and ring finger against her clit in slow circles. It sent lazy sparks of pleasure straight to her brain. Drawing a shuddering whimper from her as he dipped his middle finger between her folds.

“Cum for me, honey,” Crocodile rumbled as he lightly ran the tip of his finger along the inner rim of her vagina, then teased the sensitive spot further down. Shivs gasped through her moan as the briefest shudder of an orgasm stole over her like a thief in the night. It was not enough, not nearly enough.

“N-need more,” she said as she put the glass down with a wobble. Reached for his large hand when he stopped, withdrew, tugging it back. Bunching two of his fingers together, of a mind to stick them into herself if he didn't.

“Come to our board meeting tomorrow. You’ll come sit with me and I’ll take good care of your needy little hole.” He shook her fussy touch and caught her pubes, massaging his palm firmly against her soft cunt, pressing her bum against his cock. “You can ride my palm like you used to, and I’ll make you cum on my fingers till your tight pussy is sore from cramping around them.”

Shivs wasn’t particularly keen on doing any of this semi-publically, least of all anywhere Bugs would be. Though she feared she wouldn’t be able to talk herself out of this, as easily as she’d talked herself into it.

“Don’t worry, doll. I’ll leave the pathetic clown alone,” Crocodile promised as he stroked her flat belly with the rounding of his hook. “Can’t beat the loser if my hand is occupied with something sweeter, hm?”

Shit. She had to tell Bugs. Forewarned, forearmed, and all that. She turned in his hold, his hand moving to her butt instead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she said, but he caught her wrist when she took a step back.

“Ah, ah,” he admonished as he stopped her, pulled her with him, back into bed. “You’re staying with me tonight.”

“I, what? Why?” 

Suddenly, she wanted to leave as he gathered her against him, nestling her into his lap and chest, spooning his large body around her like a cage. She wanted to leave, wanted to go to Buggy and cry when he guided his cock back inside her still moist pussy with an incriminating noise and a satisfied rumble. She’d meant to turn this trick and tell Buggy about it. Tell him her plan to manipulate the ex-warlord to leave him alone, to leave them alone. Tell him it had worked. 

Shivs pushed herself on her elbow but Crocodile pulled her back down to him.

“Stay,” he said as he hooked the fluffy underblanket and silk cover sheets about them, his arm around her waist, hand on her hip.

“Why.” She had to tell Buggy, but now she couldn’t. She’d left after they’d gone to bed. She hadn’t told him yet. He didn’t know. He’d wake up alone.

Crocodile stroked the midline of her belly with the tip of his hook, rippling the cream-coloured silk as it moved up her chest, counting to the fifth rib. The one behind which her heart sat.

“Wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.”

A quiet sob escaped her.

"Ssh, sleep, honey," Crocodile whispered into her hair, fingertips stroking her hip. “I’ll take good care of you tomorrow.”

~

Honourary mention tags: @smut-goblin , @ruledbyproblematique , @gingernut1314 , @swirlsofblackandwhite

(N/A): To anyone reading & making it to the end. Writing this has consumed me the past days. I want to know what you think! What did you like? What made you laugh? Was there something specific you noticed? Something you now wonder about? I am 100% open to lengthy comments and blow by blows, ngl. I am obsessed with this.

If you want for more, I jotted down some of my own thoughts regarding this debacle. I may also be plotting another stint. Because Impel Down, do you understand me??

[junkdrawernoggin]

Soooo I feel like people are going to want to praise this as like the best TV show that’s ever been made just because it has Markiplier, so I want to get my opinion out now. Spoilers ahead

Edge of Sleep (TV) is fucking terrible

I mean, I watched it because I want Mark to be successful, but holy shit. That was the worst TV show I have ever willingly watched.

The pilot is fucking atrocious. The writing was abysmal to the point of being embarrassed that the actors had to perform it.

Mark in the first episode…not good. Middle section was okay to good. Final episode was bananas but the acting was good.

Not a single human person has ever acted the way some of these characters act. There is not a planet where the character of Dave and the character of Matteo, as we see them for the rest of the show, would make the choice to randomly abandon their jobs. I have no idea what age the show thinks any of the characters are. They talk about the party at the beginning like they are a max of 25, but then the rest of the show makes them out to be in their 30s.

Thinking about anything that occurs for a single moment makes your head hurt. They are pictured to be in a pretty big city. Yet Linda says they have ONE hospital in 30 miles. Also thousands and thousands of people work night shift, so the idea that there are 5 survivors, 3 of whom know each other, is the wackiest shit of all time. They hype up the medication and then that comes to literally nothing but renewal bait, and I guarantee this will not be renewed even if it reaches no. 1

Everything that comes out of Dave/Mark’s mouth about the “elephant monster” and “dream people” is goofy as fuck (not his fault). They seriously couldn’t come up with a better name? Seriously?? Even just “The Elephant” would’ve been better. Why the fuck did they make them fly to an island 17 hours away??? First, a private jet that small would under no circumstance be able to do that flight without refueling. But like, WRITERS YOU CONTROL THE SCRIPT MY GUYS. If you are gonna make up a mystical island, have it be randomly off the west coast or something. I also can say with 100% certainty that Matteo being a veteran was added at the absolute last minute. It does not jive with literally anything else about his character. They only added it because they needed a reason someone would know how to fly a plane.

Just imagine trying to pitch this show!

“Hey Boss, great tv show concept for you. So this guy Dave, he has really bad nightmares. Everyone around him starts dying from going to sleep. So he goes to sleep to commune with the dream people and talk about the elephant man who’s haunting him. This leads him and 4 other survivors to take a private jet 17 hours away after 50 hours of not sleeping. After his psychic battle with the elephant monster, it’s revealed he’s a chosen one to fight in the battle against the nightmare monsters.”

HOW ON EARTH DID THIS GET GREENLIT??

My final negative note is everyone’s names. Dave, Ruth, Linda, Matteo, and Katie. It feels like they put in stock names and forgot to change them. I do not know a single person under the age of 40 who is a “Dave” or a “Ruth”, certainly not a “Linda.” It just soundsweird. Each name on its own is fine, but all together they sound very cookie cutter

Okay my couple of positives

I thought the dynamic between Katie and Dave was good. I wish Katie got more of a personality than recovering addict, but her actress, Lio Tipton, did a great job.

Eve Harlow as Linda was probably the standout of the film acting wise. She was pretty believable all things considered.

I thought some of the visuals were really cool, and the little pill mascot was well animated.

I wish I could give more praise to Mark but he got the REALLY short end of the stick when it came to the script. He was stuck with most of the clunky exposition. His physical acting was really fantastic and he should be proud of that. His acting ticks are great. If he didn’t have to deliver the script, his acting performance in here would be on par with Eve Harlow.

Edit: Adding a little note that I completely forgot this was a podcast first. I have never watched it but I will ASAP because I want to see if it’s any better.

[fishsticksloser]

Can i request a funny platonic one-shot of rottmnt of leo and his little sister? (Mutant ninja turtle too at the age of properly 10).

Plot: so the plot is about the brothers, whenever there's a long, difficult mission they're about to have, one of the brothers must stay and babysit reader because 1, splinter is old and he pass out after milk and cake (and reader knows that) and 2, of how active she is; like she literally can run for hours, jump and do flips like there's no tomorrow, and today was leo's turn.

All leo did was leaving his sister unattended form 5 to 15 minutes just to read JJ comic book while she was watching MLP, turned out she went out of the lair and if raph caught a whiff of what happened leo won't live to see the next day, so now Leo is on a crazy goose chase to hunt his sister down who was running around New York City from rooftop to rooftop and from car to car.

And trust me when i say this; his mystic power and pun jokes aren't enough to stop reader.

Portal Kombat

Leo + gn!reader

Warnings: really bad puns, swearing, Leo centered 2nd person, this is kinda short

A/N: I don't know what it was about this, but I was having so much trouble writing this... :)

Previous  |  Next

"No one leaves. Right, Leo?" Raph gives Leo a look, eyebrows raised.

"Yes... No one leave..." Leo rolls his eyes, turning away from his older brother. Leo sighs exasperatedly. The other 3 brothers then left for patrol, leaving Leo and you at the lair. "Alright, Superstar, ready to watch My Little Pony?"

Both of you cheer as you make your way to the movie room, Splinter had already retired to bed. Leo put My Little Pony on for you, chilling on the couch with a Jupiter Jim comic. He zoned out as he read. After a while, he realized he was hungry so he sat up and put down the comic.

"Alright, Bee, time for dinner." He says, standing. "What do you wa-"

You weren't sitting where he left you anymore. He immediately ran around the lair, searching for the small turtle. He yelled your name, searching everywhere, until he saw the lair door open.

"Fuck me..." He groans. Leo quickly grabs his katanas and runs out the door. He makes his way topside and onto a roof only to see you talking with pigeons. "You know... Pigeons make terrible counselors..."

"What?" You ask looking at Leo, only to realize your mistake as a smile spread across his face.

"They can't stand the emotional bird-en." He smirks. Leo watches you, amused, as he watches you run off. He sees you jump to the next roof and quickly follows. He portals and ends up in front of you, you stop before you make it to him. "Damn... I forgot the next pun – do you have something to jog my memory?"

You quickly run away again, jumping from roof to roof. You hear Leo running behind you. You see a flash of blue and he's next to you suddenly.

"Would this be considered Portal Kombat?" He asks, laughing. You shove him and he falls into another one of his portals and is on the other side of you. "Portal Kombat II?"

"Leo!" You yell, changing directions again to get away from him. You fall through one of his portals, landing on your butt in front of him.

"Portal Kombat: Conquest!" Leo grabs your arm, pulling you up. Leo drags you back to the lair, pushing you onto the couch, a hand on his hip in disappointment. "Are you terra firma? Because you're grounded..."

[facets-and-rainbows]

Blue Exorcist 147 summary

The official translation is delayed relative to the raws this month so I get to paraphrase a chapter just like old times! The nostalgia!

Fairly detailed spoilers and no images:

Asmodeus goes on about how Shura is full of contradictions (young but also somehow aged, cold like ice but with a burning passion, full of life but death has always been close by) and says she's his type (ewwwww) Shura says Asmodeus is not her type, sorry, and shoots him full of icicles XD He tells her to go deeper with it (eeeewwwwwwwww), the pain makes him feel alive

Rin and Yukio have another round of "BUT SHURA!" "BUT THE WHOLE MISSION!" and the mission wins out They safely make it to the door with the rest of the team, but the door won't open normally so we've got some kind of RPG style door puzzle on our hands Yukio sees the L (probably Left) and R (probably right) on the doors but that doesn't explain THAT MESSED UP LITTLE DISPLAY OVER THERE So the real question is what on EARTH does the bleeding corpse suspended over a meat grinder with the inscription "VL" mean Yukio and Neuhaus together wonder if the V is roman numeral 5 and 5L means you have to give it five liters of blood (one person's worth) to open it They get as far as wondering if you could just borrow like a freshly dead corpse from the battlefield, (they're not using their blood anymore, does it HAVE to be fresh?) before Rin is like….yeah we could take a look at the whole thing from above first though? Heh I think Rin is using fire to burn some footholds as he and Yukio climb? (Edit: wait I'm dumb it's Satan's fire, I already forgot that the walls burn you when you try to climb them lol) Yukio showed off his fireproofness and Rin was all impressed and Yukio very nearly almost smiled

MEANWHILE Amon is struggling with Osceola more than he thought In fact, the fight has damaged/destroyed his emerald ring! His 10.8 carat emerald ring!! Tragic He stomps on Osceola brutally while yelling THAT WAS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR DUMB HUMAN LIFE and OH JESUS IS THAT A DISEMBODIED ARM My Concern For Osceola Gauge just spiked again guys Katoh please he's two days from retirement!! Amon decides screw it, he's just gonna blow everything up at this point. Apparently being a sun god comes with the ability to go supernova and be reborn later (Huh! The sun disk over his head is his demon heart! and he's able to shatter it and have it reform) It'll take like ten minutes for this drama man to do his drama thing so let's cut back to the kids

Rin and Yukio find that the door leads to a bottomless pit even if you DO get it open So what gives? L might be "left" but what's the V? Rin observes that there's some patterns/symbols/something on the ground. Yukio recognizes them as Indo-Arabic numerals. V is 7. So I guess the seventh symbol on the left is the real door. They go there and find a little hidden entrance. No blood sacrifice required! The weird meat machine is a gross red herring! I feel like this is a lil jab at the first anime ending XD

On the way to bring everyone to the entrance, we run into This Asshole Again ("BUT SHURA!" "BUT THE WHOLE MISSION!") Asmodeus says that it's a pretty sweet gig, being a demon of his or Amon's level. Easy to find hosts and they don't disintegrate too fast. But BECAUSE of that, you don't REALLY get to feel alive (He shoots nasty energy beams at the kids and Shura defends them as he's saying this) Asmodeus says that pain and fear and despair are all proof that you're alive! And he can live vicariously through Shura by making her feel these things! Ew!

Cliffhanger on him winding up to kill someone or other in front of an exhausted Shura, while Osceola tries to stand up Osceola is just absolutely maxing out my Concern For Osceola Gauge in that last panel. Concern levels are off the charts here

[emocl0wnpp]

Part 3 of introducing my creepypasta ocs: Wicked Vicky

(SMALL NOTE IF YOU HATE "CRINGE MARY SUE OCS" SHUT UP)

(Also some old art again cuz i used to draw Vicky a LOT)

(Again i forgot Vicky's actual name sooo)

♤Basic info♤

Name: Wicked Vicky

Age: would be 34 now if that says something-

Birthday: 1990/08/26

Nationality: german

Gender: yesn't (biologically female)

Pronouns: any,Vicky doesn't care at all (i use they/them for simplicity)

Sexuality: pansexual

Height: 160cm/5'2

Personality: literally Discord from MLP, chaotic,hyper,literally batshit insane, manipulative, two faced,aggressive,hella smart but acts dumb and naive to trick people, again Vicky is literally Discord from MLP-

Stuff i can't categorize(so basically backstory elements)

Religious trauma.

Both parents were german

Hyper Christian mom and alcoholic dad = whatever Vicky is(nothing against religious people btw don't take it the wrong way😭)

Got locked into a basement from 6 years old until 12

Accidentally summonned a demon(a whole ass goddes)

Made a deal with said demonic goddess and got posessed (that's why their eyes are like that...and why they have black goop coming from their mouth)

Ran away from home at 12 and haven't looked back since

Somehow Jason(the toymaker) stumbled upon little Vicky,and him being him,thinking they wouldn't last around him for long,took them home

Worst mistake Vicky still didn't try to leave-

Jason is like their father figure and Vicky loves and adores him<3

Somehow they and Candy(Pop) ended up together (YES ANOTHER OC X CANON THINGY FIGHT ME)

(Now) best friends with Claws,Alma and Jade(i haven't introduced her yet,she'll be next)

Claws is actually terrified of Vicky (lol)

Alma thinks Vicky cool as hell tho

Jade is like their mother figure

Back to the being posessed thing,Vicky is still working for that demon

Fun facts!!

Like I mentioned, Discord from MLP

With that said,Vicky has the ability to control time,they can stop the time for up to a minute...which is more than enough for Vicky to cause havoc,though they rarely use their powers anymore

Able to bend and stretch in cartoony ways

Their hat has a little dimension in it with lots of clocks and mirrors(they're used to watch over different universes)

Their hammer is H E A V Y,like over 5 tons

Vicky is sort of a demigod,so they have huge strenght

And they're also buff(but still chubby cuz <333)

Would fistfight god

Did fistfight a god before

Poor Vicky never really learned how to read or write,but they're still able do both..just a bit slowly

Absolutely devoted to any person they love,would and will kill anyone for their friends and family

Has the thickest german accent imagineable

Had to be stitched together because of accidents

No sense of danger at all,not like they can die anyway

Even if Claws is terrified of them,they still look up to her a lot,Vicky sees her as a cool aunt

Now Alma is the cool older sibling they can drag into crazy shit

ICP fan (me too Vicky me too)

Used to be my self insert in 2019😭💀

Somehow managed to have triplets with Candy (he was proud of himself for that)

Not the best parent but still managed to give their kids an amazing childhood<3

Closing it with something less wholesome,Vicky ate mice before (said it tasted like cow meat((never tasted cow meat before)) )

The dimension in their hat

(Old aahh drawing💀)

And a playlist

And this template thing

[preciadosbass]

26/7/24 🕷️ [yesterday, cuz i didn’t write on the day] // possible tw for talk of cals (???)

i’m just gunna assume i woke up at 11, because i have been doing so ever since i left school. i had a cream cheese bagel for breakfast, which i shouldn’t really be having as apparently they’re like 350 cals — butt, i’ve gotten into a habit of going on decently long walks consistently so i ended up cancelling it out further along in the day.

since i’ve been [unintentionally] going to sleep at 5am every night and eating less then 400cal a day i’ve been forgetting literally EVERYTHING. but i do remember listening to ls dunes for the first time after i had breakfast. i don’t think i’ll forget it and i don’t think i’ll ever forgive myself for not seeing them when they were over at the uk. anyways, i’m kind of surprised i haven’t listened to them before. i’ve listened to every other one of franks projects. then i downloaded a few videos of tony [perry].

i watched sam and colby/ronnie radke streams, put up photos of max green + cuddled boris [my cat] up until 3:30 which is when i have to get ready for youth club. i’ve been like three times to this particular one, and i think it’s okay. i mean, i’ve gone from not going outside for a year to being around 40+ teens so its obviously gunna be weird for me. i only really go in hopes that i’ll find a friend, but i haven’t even gotten close to learning about the people there yet.

anyways, this time i was going solely because i got spoken to properly for the first time last week 2 minutes before i had to leave and i wanted to see those same girls again. spoiler alert, they weren’t there. but there is this energetic person.. girl? boy? [i don’t know, they haven’t told me yet] called jester that tries to involve me in their small friend group so i sat outside and just people watched for three hours. i don’t mind going, i just cant wait until people actually talk to me there so i don’t have to be alone. i do really try to socialise.

that was about it, really. i just listened to everyone until it was it 7 and i could text my mum to pick me up. i intended to ask jester if i could have their number/the number of anyone else there but i forgot. i cant tell whether i regret it or not, because if i did ask, i’d probably freak out trying to. at this point i’d had 515cals and burnt 200 and i was soo hungry so i asked my mum if i could get food, which i DO regret and the guilt is still overwhelming.

when i got home i listened to falling in reverse and finished my food [embarrassingly] and somehow convinced my mum to go on a walk with me again. i wish i could go out alone, as much as i don’t dislike walking with her. i made a deal with her that i’ll make a collage quickly before it got too dark so i did that aswell. it was made up of entirely receipts this time.

i changed again so i wouldn’t get eaten alive by gnats in the woods and we left at like 8ish. we walked around the park just down the road from us and thankfully but unthankfully it was all uphill. i was tired after not doing much exercise since like year 5 but according to google walking uphill burns more cals than walking normally and i really needed to make up from my mess up.

i took my dads phone with me incase i needed to call the home phone and because i wanted to take a picture of myself with a beanie on because i haven’t worn one in years and i know how the landscape is there but it started lagging and ran out. it’d been an hour and a half before we got round the park and me and mum just so happened to run into my neighbour [that ive never met, my neighbours are ages away] right before we got to our house.

he was ‘reflecting’ with a glass of wine. he talked to us for like 30-40 minutes while we stood at the side of the road, he was really drunk, but he was really nice. he invited us to a party and kept on saying about how happy he was to run into us. he then started to get really passionate about his landlord stuff, which i didn’t understand, but i acted like i did. we eventually got home and i was wondering if dad would think something happened to us because he couldn’t call his phone to see if we were okay, and originally, i thought our neighbour was him looking for us. but long story short, he wasn’t, so i just told him about seeing that neighbour.

i hope i do get to go to that party because he [my neighbour] has a grandkid i never knew about and i’m genuinely desperate for a friend, especially nearby. my cals ended up being 474 by the end of the day [cuz of what i’d burnt] which still isn’t great but at least it’s not terrible, i think. i was gunna watch a good girls guide to m*rder [or whatever it is, i have the book and my dad told me there’s something on tv either inspired or made about it.] but my mum wanted to sleep and i’ve gotten it in my head that i have to ask my parents questions about my cat every night for him to be okay so i did that instead.

we surprisingly didn’t argue this time round so afterwards i just went downstairs to do my teeth while listening to hawthorne heights and say goodnight to boris. i generally spend two hours doing that but it took 27 minutes today because i was falling asleep. when i was falling asleep he kept on coming into my room and went under my bed a few times which is extra cute considering asked him to a few minutes earlier.

have a good day/night -_<

pics from youth club ^

[oneforthemunny]

It sounds like you're about to cut people off...bitch so am I

This girl i am friends with, is only 5 years younger then me. I've always been more mature for my age (both of us are in our 20s). This girl is mature in literally EVERY aspect of her life. Except whenever we make plans she is late. Not like 5 minutes. HOURS. Literally I waited 2 hours for her and canceled on her because she wanted ME to drive us somewhere, but by the time she was ready what we wanted to do was over.

It pisses me off to no end and she's all giggly about it. Maybe that makes me "type A" or whatever the fuck, but no. Im fucking tired of it. I've talked to her about it and she acknowledged and apologized but still does the same shit. then when I get kind of cold and distant she gets mad. I'm tired of it

no bc it’s actually infuriating.

like i run late sometimes, esp when it’s something I don’t want to do, but like 30 minutes max. but that’s if it’s like loose. like going to the bar or something that’s not set in stone.

there’s being a few minutes late but hours?? that’s inconsiderate. it’s rude and it’s just flat out disrespectful to me.

like she could plan to get ready earlier. it’s just disrespectful and to ask you to drive?? hell no.

i lost the peace and love battle today babes 😔 i sent a rage text. it wasn’t as bad as the ones circa 2018 evie would send. i did filter some of my thoughts but it was still bad. also forgot how freeing rage texts were. bring back rage texting.

[enderon]

I know it's probably cringe to talk, of all things, about my thoughts about the Five Nights at Freddy's movie, but fuck you, I am actually intrigued by the vague lore of the game series and have been for a long time and I have some very annoyed opinions about the movie.

1. I hate how this movie is a perfect example of how this series poeaked and then started to backtrack. Tthe initial game came out when I was in middle school, and with each game the content would get slightly more graphic and scary and the overall story would get a bit more gruesome, aging up with its demographic. But then, I don't know when, it suddenly became a series for kids and so it can't be too dark or too graphic or too explicite in how it is quite literally a series built on murdered children, and that's how we get shit like Security Breach which isn't actually scary in the slightest. The same thing goes for this movie. It's not scary, not really. The opening is slightly tense and there's the scene when the hijackers break in, but other than that it's really not scary at all.

2. The story is nonsense. Honestly, it would have been so much better if it took place while the reastauraunt was still open and the murders are actively happening, or even in the immediate aftermath, like a strange mystery. Instead, this takes place, many years laterm, when the restauraunt is alreayd shut down, but William is still keeping it around for some reason??? And then, we get this weird story about the main charcter accidentally turning away so his little brother gets kidnapped, but it's at this random campground and yet still it's somehow William that kidnapped him? Heck, even just making it so he got snatched at Freddy's and then Mike taking on the job because he hopes it will be another element to jog his memory would have made so much more sense. As it is, we're presented with a scenario where William took and murdered kids who came to the reastaurant and then also this random kid from a random campground from some reason?? Explain the logic to me (don't really).

3. Naming the main character Mike is a huge red herring and fuck you. I don't want to hear how one of the random names on a paycheck from one of the games of the random player characters is Mike. You take a series with very few actual solidified and named characters and name the main charcter of the movie adaptation the same name as one of those characters but don't actually make them the character? Fuck you. And no, Mike from the movies is not actually Michael Afton who just forgot or doesn't know. The hoops they would have to jump through would be bullshit and also still would not be better than the actual intriguing character we get form the games thmeselves.

4. And speaking of Mike: in the movie, we get a story about a guy who is struggling with trauma and keeping custody of his little sister who is tortured over turning away for a few minutes, while their parents were also still around, and his little brother got kidnapped as a result. Tell me how in the hell that is a more interesting and compelling story for a horror film than a tortured teenager/man (dpenedning on what point of the storyline would theoretically be focused on) who accidetnally killed his own younger borhter and has to bare witness to the many horrific dissapearances and murders that surrounds his father's place of employment, not wanting to think it's possible but not given any other option but to believe his father is doing these things, but unable to actual do anything about it because he himself is technically a murderer.

5. My brothers gave me shit for 'just wanting the same story again' and, honestly? What's wrong with that? What is wrong with having the hints of an intriguing story given to us and actually wanting to see that presented in a more concrete format? It's the same reason people like seeing books adapted to movies, movies adapted to musicals, comics adapted to film, film adapted to comics. People like seeing how a story and characters they like can be translated into a new medium. So sue me if I wanted to see how the story could actually be presented in a more concrete format!

6. Springtrap … why does he look like that? Why is the suit already all gross and disgusting if he's not actually a corpse inside? Commit assholes!!

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 8

this is a thing I was doing do you remember? do you remember this was a thing I was doing

it’s been like 3 months since I re-watched episode 8 (and 9!) so I’ve just re-re-watched it. Just now.

Would you let something terrible happen if it meant you'd stop something even worse happening in the future?

A fascinating ethical dilemma. Would you pull the lever in the trolley problem? Would you travel back in time and kill baby Hitler?

It isn't just Mordred’s life for Arthur’s, but Mordred’s life against the Golden Age and the freedom for magic people that Arthur is supposed to bring, so I understand why Merlin felt torn. There’s no clear-cut answer, which is what makes this storyline so compelling.

Anyway, let’s start with my main grievance – Mordred’s powers.

Merlin tells Gaius that he heard the Druid boy’s voice inside his head, to which Gaius replies:

Yes, I've heard of this ability. The Druids look for children with such gifts to serve as apprentices.

In this episode, Mordred mind-speech is a special ability that sets him apart from other children. By season 5, any random Druid can use it, to the point that Merlin is surprised when he tries to communicate with Daegal telepathically and the boy cannot hear him. The episode hints to Mordred’s magic being remarkable, even dangerous (like when he magically shatters a mirror in a fit of rage), but by season 5 Mordred barely even uses it.

I am fascinated by Mordred’s backstory and disappointed that the writers forgot their own set-up, or decided to ignore it. 

I only knew Asa Butterfield from Sex Education, so it was weird to see him as young Mordred. He did a good job at looking mysterious and vaguely threatening, though it must be said he spent most of the episode unconscious.

Who was the Druid accompanying Mordred? The Merlin Wiki transcript names him as Mordred’s father, which is not in the credits (where he's only named as “Cerdan”). I didn’t get father-son vibes from their interactions, but maybe it’s just me. My impression was that he was some kind of mentor. Apparently I saw Mordred and decided he was an orphan. Don't ask me why.

We see Arthur trying to challenge his father (in private) multiple times, but he still spends a good chunk of the episode as an antagonist. He searches for Mordred when his father demands it and he’s willing to let him die, even if he’s not pleased about it. It’s only when Morgana begs him that he caves in (30 minutes into a 43-minute episode).

Uther is a fascinating portrayal of an emotionally abusive parent. I wonder what he would have done if Morgana had “come out” to him – because he clearly cared for her, in his own fucked-up way. At least enough not to want her dead. Acceptance would have been out of the question, but I’m not sure he would’ve had her executed. Probably attempted to make her go through some kind of “conversion therapy”. He did keep Gaius as his physician after all, after making him vow never to use magic again (not that Morgana would ever have accepted it).

Now Arthur, I believe, would’ve accepted Morgana if she had told him she had magic. He’s so obviously fond of her, despite all the sibling bickering. 

We get the first mention of the name Emrys – from Mordred, then confirmed by Kilgharrah.

Morgana saying she couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to Gwen or Merlin is such a !!!! statement considering what will happen later in the series

You are a guard of Camelot minding your own business when suddenly someone knocks you out. Just an ordinary Tuesday. You don’t get paid enough for this.

Arthur telling Mordred (as he's freeing him from his cell) “Don't be scared. I've sent word to your people” -> HOW??? literally how. How does Arthur know where the Druids live. how did he get in contact with them. many such questions

Mordred glaring at Merlin when he finally comes to his rescue is so funny. “I had trouble getting out of the castle” he's like bitch you did NOT!

Mordred’s name drop at the end is so epic. Even if you aren’t familiar with Arthurian legends (I wasn't), the music and Kilgharrah’s warning to Merlin make this moment sufficiently ominous and tense (and if you already know who’s going to kill Arthur, you will have guessed the boy’s name already anyway)

Arthur returns Mordred to Iseldir. The next time we see young Mordred is in ep 2x03 (The Nightmare Begins) and then again in episode 2x11 (The Witch’s Quickening) — in neither of them he is with Iseldir anymore, though Iseldir is still alive, given he reappears in S3. WHAT HAPPENED. Mordred’s childhood is a compelling mystery. I like the idea of there being different Druid clans with different beliefs about Emrys and Arthur’s destiny – and possibly Mordred’s, too. Not every Druid recognises Merlin as Emrys or thinks of him as a savior, after all (see Sefa and Kara). Is this why Mordred was (perhaps?) abandoned by Iseldir? Did he find out something about Mordred's role in Arthur's death? It’s an interesting idea. To me.

[charizardstolemynickname]

TOH S3 EP3 AKA THE FINALE REACTION, part 2!

I am literally half way through with 24 minutes left so, here we go!

CAMILA! YOU'RE BACK! And instantly being a mother, love you!! She came back and went "YOU ARE ALL SO EXHAUSTED YOU ARE ALL BABIES!"

NOOOO DON'T CRY BABY, god please tell me us as a fandom love the Collector after this, HE IS JUST A BABY

Woah. love the new outfit/appearance Luz!! ....And not knowing what one liner to say is amazing, me too sweetie, me too

COLLECTOR DON'T DIE I SWEAR TO GOD

MENTOR EDA MY GALLLL, TEAMWORK WITH KING AHHHHHHH

RAINE fucking hell pal i kinda forgot about you, no offence, BUT I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE OKAY, AHHHH MY CUTIES

ooo did it work? now he is melting, well, kinda your fault Belos

COLLECTOR MY KIDDO!!!!!!! I am so glad you are okay

Philip? You are a terrible lying, like man, hush

Hell yeah! Squish the man!!!

"Dang kid, you do have tall genes" Okay but please tell me there is fanart of aged up King where they still pet him but he is like, 100x times bigger than everyone

"I loaf you" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? I AM ALMOST TEARY OVER A BREAD PUN?! fucking titans (/aff)

i am so glad the collector is okay, like i am so fucking happy

STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH, Steve and lilith are besties, I accept nothing less

AMITY AND HER DAD!!!!!!!!! GUS AND HIS DAD!!!!!!!!!!!! WILLOW AND HER DADS!!!!!!!!

HUNTER AND DARIUS?! AND EBER?!?! FUCKKKKKKK, DARIUS IS PROUD OF HIS IMPROVEMENT ON HIS STITCHING AUHDWOL:

i will go insane over them I am not kidding BUMP!!!!!!! Ed and Emira!!!! Boscha and her grudgby team, reunited at last

DARIUS AND EBER MY FAVOURITES, just absolutely refusing to let everyone go back to how it was

STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been a steve fan since day 1, I am glad he is convincing the others to leave the emperor's coven (that really shouldn't exist anymore nor any other coven)

AHHHH Luz and Amity and Luz and Camila! AH EDA AND CAMILA!!!!!!

COLLECTOR!! IS THAT HOOTY?! FUCK YEAH

WHY IS HOOTY YAS-IFIED?!? I had to pause to fucking laugh here, 10/10 THEIR FRIENDSHIP BROOOOO

Francois reunited with king, as things should be. NO DON'T GO BACK TO THE STARS SWEETIE

FUCKKKKKK KING GAVE FRANCOIS TO THE COLLECTOR!!!!! God I am going insane HOW DID YOU ALL DEAL WITH THIS MANY EMOTIONS

WOAH WHAT DO YOU MEAN GLYPH MAGIC DOESN'T WORK NO MORE?! BUT KING IS STILL ALIVE! SURELY GENETICALLY IT STILL WORKS??! Fuck, this is heartbreaking

Luz gets to keep Springbean tho, that's good, I am very glad

wOAH WERE ARE THEY MOVING TO?! COLLEGE?! FUCK

Please tell me she has an easy way to and from the demon world thing

WOAH WAIT, ITS MAGIC COLLEGE?! NOT HUMAN ONE!? THANK GOD, and of course she chose all of them, as she should, I would too, she is iconic

"Luz.. you saw them last week" MOODDDDDD

VEE!!!!! AUHDOSL, the house looks so good now too, damn, COLLECTOR YOU ARE ICONIC FOR THE DOOR THERE

okay the credits have started but there are 5 minutes left still, so I will continue watching

BATLADY WITCH AYYYYYYYYY, WITH EDA AND EDA'S DAD AHIWREKD

WILLOW AND HUNTER HOLDING HANDS AYYYYYYYYY

NOOOOOOO FLAPJACK, fuck i will cry, please, you are okay, promise...... guys I think flapjack may not be coming back(/lh)

WOAH DID HUNTER GET A NEW PALISMAN?! BLUEBIRD!

IS THAT AMITY!!?????? DAMN GIRL YOU LOOK GREAT, LOVE THE PONYTAIL

HARPY LILITH?! aisjWMFOEJ THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON

Bump the gardener is making me laugh but in a great way, as he should, he looks so happy

WAIT AMITY'S DAD FINDING A WAY TO GET RID OF SIGILS?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU ALADOR

DARIUS AND ALADOR BESTIES?!! FUCKKKKKKKKK I love them. So much. SO much.

DARIUS AND HUNTER FATHER SON DUO AGAIN

Eda the headmaster is so amazing, awwwwww that is quite sweet in a way, finally liking school because its how it should be now

King's little badge now saying "KC" is making me go feral, for a moment I forgot he was adopted officially

AWWWWWWWW EVERYONE IS HERE EVEN TINY GIRL WITH BIG NOSE!

WAIT IVE JUST REALISED THAT GUS! DOES HE TEACH A CLASS NOW?! FUCK

THEY ARE FOLLOWING LUZ'S FAMILY'S AND HERITAGES TRADITIONS EVEN IN THE DEMON REALM?! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I love found family, can you tell?

THEY TRIED THEIR BEST AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS

IEWGPJFJ I KNEW THE GLYPH THING WOULDNT BE THE END YES KING

COLLECTOR1 AWODJW, god I love this too much

WOAH WHAT DOES "THERE'RE NEARLY GONE, BYE!" WHILST LOOKING INTO THE CAMERA MEAN, BRO??!

Oh my god. I've finished the show. DAMN. THAT WAS GREAT

I am so glad I started this show.

Also for anyone curious, it took me 2 and a half hours total to watch this finale episode. Which, I am not proud of BUT HEY, i savoured every moment

God, that was legit amazing, I feel like screaming for a whole day now, this is weird, I am speechless, I have no idea what to say

I am incredibly happy I can finally engage in the fandom though, and follow so many more blogs now and such

Thank you to those who have followed me on my journey, and this has been, an adventure? Is that too cheesy and big of a word for this? Ah I don't care, this has been great, i started this show to distract myself and MAN did it do that

I cannot wait to keep posting about this show now, and find out all the little lore facts that are canon that i missed!

[umazane-muesli]

Jukebox January: Day 7

I fell off this bandwagon SO fast it's not even funny 😭 like even for a professional quitter and give up-per like me this is kind of impressive. Anyway. I was so excited about this game, I really want to get back into it, so I'll just try to continue and pretend nothing happened. Kind of a shame, I had banging ideas for B and C and E. Maybe I'll make those posts later, or in February or something, I don't know.

Also, rereading this post i realise how incoherent and insane i sound. I'm afraid it's not gonna get better sorry.

Anyway, today's theme is songs beginning with G.

(Edit I forgot to mention what the hell this game/tag was about, here is the post explaining it)

Głośniej - Kwiat Jabłoni:

I found this band completely randomly while searching for good polish music to go with a polish book, and they have low-key become a favourite in the past couple of years. Their new album is fucking good and Głośniej is one of my favourites on it.

Les gens qui doutent - Anne Sylvestre:

I love the lyrics of this song. Kind of sad, kind of comforting.

Garden Flat - Mini Vague

This one is not even on spotify anymore, barely on youtube, I literally bought it on bandcamp to still be able to listen to it, but I had to mention it because it's one of the most surefire way to make me cry instantly like i'm some sort of pavlovian dog lmao. It's not even really a sad song i don't think, but it was used in some fuckass french web series that was my my entire life when i was a teenager (and still has a piece of my heart if we're being honest, the way I came crawling back at the speed of light when they made a movie two years ago) and anyway. Mini Vague slash Mix Bizarre slash whatever other names your band had please come back I miss you i won't even cringe at your french accents i promise.

Go through it - Blondie

I love Blondie, they have such a wide range of genres and I love Debbie Harris' voice. If you've seen me gush about Brass Ona(TM) you've probably guessed I can't resist a song with good old trumpets, like this one or Island of Lost souls.

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

Look, yes, Ed Sheeran, I know. But this song (and the album it was on) came out when I was in Ireland, working on a farm that had the radio on all day, and I can promise you the radio DJs were LOSING THEIR MINDS over it. Big "Ireland mention!!!!!" energy, it was kind of cute honestly. They even interviewed the frontwoman of Beoga, the band that made the song that was used as a sample in Galway girl (the song is called Minute 5 btw). This song just brings up memories of vibing with Today FM and shoveling metric tons of cow shit and visiting pretty Irish towns (including Galway, of course). I still kinda like it. But if you're allergic to Ed Sheeran it's okay, i understand, you can go listen to Steve Earle's Galway Girl instead.

Gnossienne No. 5 - Erik Satie

I like this for normal reasons :) don't even worry about it :)

Gianna - Siddharta

You know what, I get why Joker Out are such little Siddharta fanboys. This rules.

Gole sanje - Big Foot Mama

Me, scanning through a bunch of slovenian music and recognising two (2) words: I'm bilingual :)

Gold - Years and Years

I remember so vividly when this album came out, I thought I was so cool and trendy for listening to it lmao. Now he's going to eurovision apparently. Good on him.

Giordano's Dream pt. I and II - Blanco White

This new(ish) album has immaculate vibes throughout, but I particularly like this double song.

Gold Mine - Beatenberg

I've been listening to Beatenberg for ages and I'm so so happy because ALL the new music they've been releasing recently is fucking great. I'm kind of considering going to their concert in Germany please someone stop me I can't go to Germany ONLY for concerts lol

And now a bunch of songs that could be summarized as "iconic, tbh".

- Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cindy Lauper

- Grace Kelly - Mika

- Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

- Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

- Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

- Georgia - Phoebe Bridgers

- Green Light - Lorde

[zalrb]

SKINS REWATCH

An anon a while ago asked me to do a Skins (first gen) rewatch, so I’m doing series 1 right now. Pilot aka “Tony” -- who i hate (BUT NOT AS MUCH AS FUCKING MICHELLE)

1. I always loved the opening theme

2. The grown ass woman putting on a show for Tony by purposefully undressing by the window ... yeah, Skins would be crucified today. Although the age of consent in the UK is 16 so maybe not?

3. Ha, just clocked the 8 1/2 Fellini poster on Tony’s wall, of fucking course Tony like Fellini.

4. And he’s reading Sartre, specifically Nausea, while he plays petty pranks on his dad. Lmao. Everything you need to know about Tony in the first 3 minutes and guess what, NO voiceover.

5. EVERY FUCKING MORNING.

6. The juxtaposition between Sid’s room and Tony’s is so great.

7. Jal is the only one of the friend group that I just don’t see how that happened, I guess we’re supposed to believe that it’s because she was friends with Michelle but I believe that even less.

8.  And there is such a comedic, light, chaotic energy to Skins from the moment it starts, which is why it always annoyed the fuck out of me when anons insisted on comparing Euphoria to it just because both shows deal with teens and partying and drug use. Obviously Skins isn’t always a comedy, there are moments that are super poignant like when Chris’ mother literally abandons him and they present (rather than explore I would say) serious topics like Cassie’s eating disorder but what makes those moments poignant is that not every single moment of every single episode is trying to say something about the teen generation, there isn’t a soap box on Skins.

9. Michelle and Tony is like ........ series 2 is always confusing to me when it concerns them, like it’s a mess because Michelle’s guilt and anger and sadness about the whole thing is wrapped up in Tony’s inability to get hard and then she’s angry at the fact that he isn’t the manipulative and emotionally abusive ass WHO NEVER EVEN MADE HER COME - SID did that - he was in season 1 and I was just like, OK girl.

10. “... Do they have tap dancing in Death of a Salesman?” “They need a number, I’ve always said that.” Aww, Maxxie.

11. Sid couldn’t even hang up before he started jerking off? Lol OK.

12. I’ve always wondered how awkward it is filming scenes like this. Like when Sid jerks off to a picture of Michelle and Tony walks in, I would find that more embarrassing as April Pearson (who plays Michelle) than just doing a sex scene. Like hey let’s use this photo for Mike to simulate masturbating to! WEIRD. But I’m not an actor, so. It does remind me of The Inbetweeners when James Buckley talked about his character, Jay, and how he had to ask an old woman if she wanted to suck him off and how it was the most mortifying scene he ever had to do and was like, she was this nice, sweet old lady!

13. Tony describing getting a girl so high to lower her standards to sleep with Sid is fucking creepy.

14. Michelle and Tony are so gross to me.

15. It’s just funny to me that Tony is supposed to be the epitome of teen boy hotness.

16. I momentarily forgot that Nicholas Hoult is in The Great.

17. “It’s a literary reference.” “What, like Shakespeare?” “Dawson’s Creek.” “I don’t know what that is.” Chris! My heart!

18. “It was strip poker, what did you want me to do?” “You weren’t even playing, you wanker!” They do have good chemistry as friends, the dialogue flows well and they look like they have fun together even though I don’t quite buy Jal as belonging to the group, I know there’s always the ‘responsible’ one or the ‘together’ one and I’ll go with it because they all work together but character-wise, I need more of a reason.

19. “I’VE UNEXPECTEDLY COME HOME BY ACCIDENT.” LOL.

20. Angie should be fired. Even before Chris she was wildly unprofessional lmao. Get your shit together.

21. I also like how many interactions Jal and Chris have in this episode too.

22. And I will ALWAYS FUCKING MAINTAIN that the film version of Luna Lovegood should’ve been like Cassie. Especially series 1 Cassie.

23. Michelle is a terrible friend.

24. “Everyone, this is Tony and his friends, Tony, this is Sara, Josh, Sara, Maddy, Alessia, Hugo, Sebastian, Sara, Sam and Sara.” I love it because you know everything you need to know by their names and how they look lmao.

25. I love that he is the DJ for the rich white party

26. I love that Michelle walks onto the dancefloor like I’ma show these rich bitches how it’s done and she’s AS terrible.

27. Sid is such a prick to Cassie.

28. “Where’re you going?” “To find that party!” “Nah.” “Look, it’s posh kids, all the boys are gay!” “Really?” *nods* “Are the girls gay too?” “Look, everyone’s gay!” Chris would do well on tumblr. 

29.

30. “What would you do if everything was just so fucked up and you didn’t know what to do?” She has an eating disorder, Sid, that she was institutionalized for. SHE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.

31. Euphoria was never like this

Like the only Euphoria episode that actually matches THIS level of chaotic energy is the carnival episode. Rue running all through the city and outing Cassie and Nate didn’t have the same type of energy.

32. Lol, this is what friendship looks like

33. None of this would’ve happened if Jal had been there, lol

[onedragonarmy]

It sucks ass to see both your cards decline at the laundromat and realize there is no more buffer of credit to hold you over until your promotion in November

I'm still on track to make minimums it's just like oh god the interest might make me go over like actually

It literally took like every bit of liquid we had to move so the interest might genuinely overcap it though ugh

I get that my wife didn't want to spend one more minute living in a slum for college kids but I really wish we could have secured this place at the end of our lease rather than 4 months off

I could have saved a bit more but that's just how housing is! If you snooze you lose good luck finding a place nearly as open for the price!

Makes a clown want to earn their keep in a second circus lest he be forced to sell her makeup

I should sign up for one of those GMs for hire sites tbh

To make a long story short,

TOO LATE.

I forgot that they had just told me yesterday to not talk about money until their vacation is over..

I legit feel weak in mind and body like damn 5 hours of sleep two nights in a row to make sure all of your stuff is out of an apartment In a Hellday and a half sure does do some soul damage Doth it not?

I'm still reeling from it I guess

That and being personally attacked by the people who took over our lease because we didn't have time to clean it but like I would have come straight back if they had asked for help cleaning

Idk WHAT Maxwell whatever his name was berating my wife with one on one that Sunday but she was pissed

So we packed up, handed keys over and left like hijo I walked 35,000 steps I'm pretty sure

And I FELT it my body was literally struggling to keep going every second god I hate MOVING

The nerve...

And we gave over our Entire Deposit bc like yes our place was lived in you are only getting 1000/1900 back tops and the two of them were like Oh we can see WHY you didn't make us pay for the deposit like binch...

Any housing changeover like this is not a Landlord milking you for cash they use to clean between tenants this is two recent college grads struggling with debt and the current job market

Even if we did pay for a Real carpet cleaner (which I think their dumbasses did drop 500 on) it wouldn't remove jack!!! Stains don't just come out it's not an area rug carpet just ages poorly that's why it's the cheapest flooring type and why landlords LOVE it

Short term gain and their tenants have to suffer with it it's been dirty

Unlivable conditions WE WERE LIVING THERE FINE

Binch doesn't know the difference between Black Mold and mold that is black

In the grout btw

Which also stains

So even when you protonate it with vinegar or soak it with quaternary chloride such as 409 (both fungicides) guess what? It's still there

Punk ass white boy wait til you're deep in climate circles 4 years from now or and you have to hear MY name in everyone's mouth for my work on Energy Infrastructure and you seethe because I am NOT Working with your punk ass because I do not forgive

I do not forget

He said that floor looked like it had not seen a mop in years

Try two weeks dumbass SORRY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR ME TO MOP IT AND WERE RUSHING MY WIFE TO GIVE YOU THE KEYS

I CLEANED THAT HOUSE.

ME. I mopped that floor twice a week. Bathroom weekly. My goddamn vacuum BROKE a few months before and I was barely catching up in the last month

My GRANDFATHER DIED LAST MONTH

And they said wah don't play Oppression Olympics

If you had to bear what I bear you would be annihilated instantly. Your resolve couldn't hold 10% of my grind. All while adhd, autistic, learning Everything I can about silicone manufacturing so they'll hire me as a Quality Engineer, computerless, down to my last dollar, grieving, uninsured, and crucially...remaining silly.

But there is so little time for silly. I am so tired. My mind is racing. It always is.

Hhhhh

Will my meds even last me until November ugh I have to math it out..

[winderlylandchime]

Hello, how are you? I hope life is going good and that you are spending your Saturday relaxing. I am coming to you with just a tiny update on my brother as a proof of life but also because it made me laugh when it happened and I thought maybe you’d appreciate it since you are the one who told him ao3 has a lot of shows he’s a fan of…I feel like a snitch right now but he discovered 2 things about ao3 by complete accident. And that is omega verse and that some people write incest fics.. I got a text that just read ‘werewolf porn?!?!’ So that was a nice way to start my day. And then like two hours later he found out some people write about incest and I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to convince him to continue using ao3. When I called him about it he said that he wanted to look into the other stuff he’s a fan of aince he remembered you told him so and he unfortunately discovered a dark side of it. So now he swore to himself that he’s only going to use ao3 for Britin. BUT he did also discover like a true grandpa with no social media presence that he got replies on his comments from you and Hannah Montana (his words, he only refers to them as that and I’m supposed to just know who he’s talking about) and he was very delighted because he didn’t realize it at all and then horrified that he didn’t realize it. He also got really mad when he realized you can’t leave kudos on each chapter which tbh, I fully agree. He’s genuinely still confused by ao3, It’s kinda like watching someone who is 60 try to use instagram or something like that. And then on top of that a few days ago he told me that he is worried that his love for qaf has died down since he hasn’t seen the show since he left and can’t watch it with the original soundtrack. And he was genuinely worried about that and then today at an ungodly hour I got a call saying ‘YOOOOOO BLONDIE WAS IN MR ROBOT!’ I don’t think he was even fully sober or even awake when he called me for that. Turns out he was at his friends house and his friend’s girlfriend had Mr Robot on and then she just left it playing while everyone hung out. And then Randy showed up on the screen and my brother -mid conversation with a friends new girlfriend who literally met him that day!!!- yelled across the entire apartment from the kitchen ‘BLONDIEEEEE’ and then apparently he proceeded to talk about qaf to the poor woman. I’m talking full breakdown, story lines, characters, actors, the fact that season 5 (and I quote) ‘sucks hardcore ass’…. So he got excited and happy to report to me that the love (and hyperfixation if we are being honest) is still very much alive. As if HE, the owner of many self made shirts, could somehow manage to escape it…And if you were wondering, yes he was wearing his Brian shirt during the party so I don’t know how he thought he was over his love for the show. Btw he was telling me about a fic of yours he was reading and he went ‘you don’t get it, they’re doing therapy together…Fuck I can’t believe real life Blondie is gonna be doing shit like this for a living now’ and that gave me a mini wtf moment because I completely forgot about Randy’s new career. So bottom line is: he is now scared to look up any shows he likes, he got a bit scarred because he didn’t read tags/doesn’t understand them AND he still talks about everyone’s fics the same way he did when he was living with me. Aka he just starts talking about it without any context or titles or links.

Dear sweet anon! I’m so sorry it’s taken ages to respond.

Oh sweet summer child brother anon! Yes, omegaverse and incest porn are on AO3… as he commits to using it only for Britin fics, warn him (or don’t!) about mpreg fics. Sooooo many pregnant!Justin fics out there and at least one pregnant!Brian fic that I can think of. All the wonderfully horrific fics on AO3 are exactly why I love it. Banning incest fics is a slippery slope to making any explicit content, especially queer explicit content (and all queer content is explicit to bigots).

I feel the anger about not being able to leave kudos on each chapter. And I also fully feel the excitement and joy of getting a response to a comment. Reminds me that I need to go respond to his comments!

I didn’t realize that one Mr. Randolph Harrison was in Mr. Robot, but there it is on his IMDb page!

Haha I’m only halfway sorry I put Justin in therapy so often in my fics because now Randy is on the other side of the couch!

I’m so glad his enthusiasm only temporarily died down. Unfortunately, it looks like you need to copy your DVDs for him because I got an ask a few days ago asking for resources to watch the series with the original (only correct) soundtrack and the fandom agrees that it’s no where to be found.