#literally hes just coping with his trauma
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WELL... ok you asked for it . but be warned that its just me taking diluc crumbs and interpreting them however i want because if hyv won't give me more diluc lore i'll just write my own
first of all. its very obvious that diluc is literally batman. and while the fandom and the story itself focuses on the anti-hero persona i don't think we focus enough on the man under the mask. one thing we know about bruce wayne is that that man is a player. he will flirt with everyone to get what he wants. while i don't think that diluc is the same exact way, i think he Does play into the most popular bachelor in town role to navigate situations and perhaps cope with all that mental issues he's got.
in the webtoon (which is the place where we learn most about him) we first see him as the rich gentleman who is loved by everyone in the city. he mediates between dottore and seamus like "let's just have fun gentlemen š¤" yet at the end we see him not caring about either of them and trying to handle the situation himself.
now you might say that this sounds more like kaeya's facade of a player. he's most likely pretending to get his way. and you wouldn't be wrong, but there's another element to consider: this man can't lie + he's obsessed with honesty and justice.
this brings me to my other point: diluc and kaeya are narrative foils. they contrast each other in Every Way. even their color palettes are opposites of each other. they're so opposites of each other that at the end they end up as the same person. we see this in their personalities as well: while kaeya pretends to be this rogue character (convincing people that he's slacking off, working on his treasure hoarder list that is supposed to be a secret out in the open at a tavern???, pretending to not care about family) if you read between the lines he's actually a good little boy. see example:
not "the same way you threw me out" no. he's more upset about the family legacy. meanwhile diluc, who's supposed to be the foil to kaeya's ""bad boy"" attitude, doesn't give a fuck.
kaeya is a knight that is "destined" to destroy mondstadt, which sums up his "kind and loyal person who pretends to be a bad guy to cope with the trauma and responsibility placed on his shoulders at a young age" personality quite well.
while in contrast diluc is raging and raving about being honest and protecting the city and its people but look at his actions: goes on a 4 year long journey despite people telling him not to, obsessively hunts fatui for personal pleasure (it's "revenge" but is revenge not personal pleasure?), is a wanted vigilante, but he acts like an innocent, well-meaning businessman. let's quote rosaria here:
to conclude this messy and incoherent rant: i think it would only make sense for diluc to be a flirt no matter how subtly. kaeya flirts to keep a facade and diluc keeps a facade to flirt or whatever. and i'd like to make him more batman.
also lets be real "the most eligible bachelor in mondstadt" is not an innocent nickname .
iām currently going mildly viral on twitter for this tweet:
and itās really making it clear to me that some of yāall are not playing the same game as i am because like:
my buddy kaeya? my close personal friend kaeya alberich?
like this was a half-baked thought i tweeted out in 30 seconds so you donāt have to agree with the characterization (iām not even sure i agree with the characterization)
but if yāall are looking me in the eye and telling me that kaeya is unironically a ladiesā man and a player then iām gonna need you to go back to every single event heās been in and look at how his shell of facile charm has been ruthlessly and systematically dismantled by the game itself
#is this a reach? perhaps#but what is media literacy if not reading between the lines ....#also another point i think it'd make sense for him to flirt to cope w his loneliness. the man needs a vice#if there's any opportunity to make his character even more morally grey and confusing you Bet im taking it#anyway i wrote this at work instead of working if it doesnt make sense totally blame that and not my brain. LMAO#hope you like my silly headcanon ....... this is so embarrassing
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Skwisgaar putting distance between him and other people because he feels far too superior to everyone to become friends with them yet also getting depressed when he sees others have fun together because he feels excluded, despite him putting the distance in the first place. Skwisgaar not wanting to be hurt by other people yet using the justification that they're not worthy of his time when really he's just scared of being vulnerable. Nobody can hurt you if you never open up to them. Nobody can forget about you and neglect you when you never become dependent to them in the first place
#skwisgaar skwigelf#just thinking abt how much he must use his superiority complex to avoid any kind of situation where he has to bare his true self#literally hes just coping with his trauma#he never got over the way his mom treated him#and he just promised himself to never go thru it again#thus becoming a distant person incapable of forming meaningful bonds and not wanting to try it either#i have so many thoughts abt skwisgaars upbringing and adolescence and overall life before dethklok#thinking thinking#it really must be lonely being a god huh?
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesnāt it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn yāknow hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isnāt that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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I already knew the things Calypso did to Odysseus but honestly just listening to Love In Paradise over and over really just finally had it click and I realize how much projection I've done onto Odysseus and how most of it is honestly true and could most likely be true
#chatā¦#i..#i hate Calypso#dude#literally#HES ME#HES FUCKING ME#im gonna cry#Odysseus deserved so much better#HE DIDNT FUCKING WANT IT#HE HAD NO CHOICE#HE LITERSLLY WANTED TO DIE#chat when when you project trauma and your horrible coping mechanism onto a thousand year old man#like#he's not thounds of years old#but his story is#epic the musical#epic#the odyssey#odysseus#tw sh implied#tw sa implied#tw suicide#tw ed implied#Not too implied#just.. would like y'all to be aware that's what's being implied#stay safe out there chat#sobs#Odys me#my post
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it's so funny to me... looking at video reactions and content about the anime of Erased and realize how many people felt like... idk. cuckolded? by the fact that Kayo did not end up with Satoru in the end, but with Hiromi, the boy who also would have died if the timeline had not been reset.
and like. some of my amusement comes from like... my own ignorance in not realizing that would be a reaction. because like. Obviously. We've been in Satoru's shoes this entire journey and it felt like, especially in the anime, Kayo and Satoru were having these big meaningful moments. like. how could that not be a romance? even though Satoru repeatedly is like 'I am 30, I'm not catching feelings in this situation, what am I doing?'
which I took as like. "Oh, he's inhabiting his little 8 year-old body and also has not had social connection in a long time and is just... having emotions. and Satoru's story is about learning to care and feel again. because adult Satoru had shut down so much due to the trauma of both losing so much in his youth and having the adults around him cope by basically refusing to deal with it and shutting it down. Returning to his childhood before the trauma is reawakening his ability to connect, trust and feel again. Which is something adult Satoru is as confused and unfamiliar with as child Satoru would be with a crush so it reads very similar."
but I also like. ran out of episodes at episode 9, then read the manga, then got like... really really invested in what the story had to say about trauma and the cycles of abuse and silence and well meaning cruelty and convenient victims and patterns of violence and community scapegoats and justice and how people act to preserve face and the justice system and like... the anime picked one thing in the manga to focus on and it was Kayo. and it did that thing like... really really masterfully. it made Kayo's story so heartrending that people forgot almost entirely about everything else. but like. the manga is about like... multiple other subjects of which Kayo features predominantly but like. The character that Satoru is freaking out about having been killed in his flashbacks in the manga is Hiromi, because Hiromi was his friend. It doesn't change the fact that Kayo is very impactful, but the story doesn't revolve entirely around her. So the fact that Hiromi and Kayo found love instead of death, but many anime viewers seem to forget entirely that Hiromi is also a would-be murder victim, is because so much of the non-Kayo story is just... not present or altered.
And even stuff with Kayo because like. She came back after being taken to her grandmother and helped them with the investigation and protection of Aya, the other potential murder victim that goes to a different school.
Honestly sometimes I feel like even people who talk about the anime ending being bad vs the manga ending, miss the parts of the manga that the anime changes. The anime is very excellent for what it is as a stand alone piece, however since it had adapted so much out of the manga to make itself a stand alone piece it didn't give itself an ending that matched what it had created. The anime had devoted itself entirely to the Kayo aspects of the story because they evoked such strong emotions, but the ending... isn't about Kayo. because in the manga, the story wasn't about Kayo. the thing that seems kind of funny to me is, they were stuck with 2 episodes to wrap up a fat chunk of the manga. They were always gonna have to do an anime original ending. They *could* have just gone balls to the wall and gone completely original and played into the fact that they'd been focusing on Kayo the whole time. Not necessarily "waits for him the whole time" but something that puts more focus on her to give more emotional catharsis to the audience. Instead it went with the option no one was happy with and did a limp noodle fast adaptation of the last chunk of the manga with no character development or deduction or planting from the rest of the anime because half the scenes that made any of it make sense got cut.
And now everyone remembers Erased as that great anime with a terrible ending. which sucks because the manga honestly really has a lot to say about a lot of topics. And the anime is artistic and beautiful as hell. but like. the fact that so much of the message is fully not like... either adapted or perceived by audiences or like. Ignored. feels like a sign of something kind of frustrating...
Or I am overthinking big time. That's. I guess a possibility. It might not be that deep, but I think it is. there just might be a level of clumsiness in its execution sometimes, but I think the themes and messages are still there...
#inane ramblings#i have too many thoughts#boku dake ga inai machi#the town where only i am missing#erased anime#like I get the idea of thinking Kayo is a romantic interest sort of#but also like I'm pretty sure he's just learning how to have human connections again#because he's never coped with his own trauma and is emotionally stunted#and just literally doesn't know what friendship feels like anymore as an adult#that might be generous but he seems genuinely unfamiliar with kindness
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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in love with both the roleswap ficlet you have as well as Utopia. im curious, what are your thoughts/hopes with rin? i feel like she always gets the short end of the stick when it comes to fics and id love to hear anything about her from you
I do have a soft spot for characters who haunt the narrative - who create an empty space so tangible that the void is its own character. When Obito and Kakashi stood in the same room in Utopia, I always considered the imprint she left on them as a third character. Not Rin herself - just how she damaged them. I think it's heartwarmingly toxic yaoi how Kakashi stole Obito's personality, so I decided that Kakashi actually stole the erotic novels from Rin. She was a superfan of bodice ripper steamy romance novels, as it turns out.
You have to make up your own personality for Rin. So I made decisions as an author about writing her for the roleswap. I wanted her to be the Naruto figure - the leader, the glue who held everybody together, the one who was very smart about people. She was just as stubborn and fiercely smart as the boys, but because her genius was in noncombat arts it was overlooked. The idealist and optimist, who hoped so genuinely for a better world. One where she could protect the people she loved. I think Rin loved far, far too much. She and the boys were thrown into insanely traumatic situations far too young, and as a result I think they developed a codependent trauma bond that resulted in over-emotional reliance and falling in desperate teenage love with each other.
As we all know, in Naruto these traits are the recipe for either the greatest hero or the most insane supervillain in the series. The most dangerous person in Naruto is the person who loves too much, who believes in a better world where peace and love and happiness can reign, and who has the power to make it a reality. The person who's lost everything, and as such has nothing to lose.
I don't think one little sword and seal can kill a jinchuuriki.
Yeah, Rin plays a major role in the AU lmfao. Personally, I support women's wrongs. As does Kakashi. #feminisminnaruto
#my asks#my writing#I really enjoy Rin as the leader and glue of the generation as Naruto is#I think it's so insane toxic yaoi to be so devastated from somebody's death that you literally become them just to cope#and Rin should be equally existent in that. in writing her i'd make both her and obito clear in kakashi#i think i also gave the 'underneath the underneath' line to her#so Kakashi lives by both rin and obito's mottos#he is SO UNWELL#regarding the roleswap specifically Rin never treated Tobi any differently than Obito#she stayed his friend and supported him unconditionally.#it was insanely hard on her and she tried to shoulder all of the responsibility for looking out for him#obito was MELTING with guilt but its tacticsss#i think she and tobi had a rapport and understanding that was never recreated for him. she knew how to work with him.#after rin died tobi became a lot more than a tactic and partly an escape i think. so much happening#i love naruto ot3s. i just do. child soldier trauma bond wartime they all wanna kiss
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YALL ARE NOT SERIOUS PEOPLE no way iām looking at the tumblr tag for spn 7x03 aka the sam centric flashback episode dealing with his childhood trauma and how he feels like heās a freak and everyone is just posting about DEAN. dean and his stupid fucking pie. dean winchester used to be my guy! genuinely! s2-3 i truly thought i was a deangirl! But you people (plus this show atp lmfao) are making me hate himš
#he was cute witn his silly pie. and i care for him and understand heās grieving cas and thinks heās about to lose sam and is therefore copin#Awfully and doing things like resorting to black and white john winchester embedded monster racism to do so#But thing is iām actually getting pretty fucking sick of him coping awfully#he never learns he never grows he just gets angrier. heās incapable of seeing sammy as someone whose decisions can be respected despite the#fact sam literally SAVED THE WORLD by SACRIFICING HIMSELF.#he just sits around and drinks and tries to become his father and avoid becoming his father in equal amounts#heās actually awful!! sam goes off to do a case something totally justified (tho sure he couldāve asked) and dean fucking punches him in the#faceā¦ and somehow it just Doesnāt feel haha funny because its forceful and itās serious and this is like the 3rd time heās done this shit#and itās also in the same ep where we see sams fraught relationship w john (Bc Duh) which is paralleled to the relationship amy has with her#mom where her mom fucking hits her. like.#dean winchester!!! when i find you!!!!!!!! stop recreating ur trauma!!!!!!!! stop taking shit out on sam :(#he cares sooooooooo deeply and it affects every fucking thing he does thatās why heās so awful and why he cant cope#But guess what the same can be said about john winchezter the same can be said about a LOT of people. doesnāt excuse anything dean. GET YOUR#SHIT TOGETHER.#i love dean heās vividly compelling to me. But. :/#oliver talks#sam winchester#spn
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Due to circumstances irl me and my friends still wonāt be able to finish new getter watch which fuck knows when itāll be resume now and one of the factors wasnāt even because not everyone could come-like one person was sick but that was it-but because we had a bunch of irl shit happened and Iām just reminded the part of the show we landed on is super fucking angsty and doesnāt get any better and that has probably encapsulated so of my iffy feelings with new despite it being arguably the most best written ova- but I donāt know if I wanna get into a whole rant about it in a post because some people might think Iām reaching even though Iām safer here compared to twit so might keep vague thoughts in the tags below.
#meg text#new getter robo#I know there are shows that done it significantly worse and Iām a angsty mfer#but I sometimes wish end of new didnāt set up āour protag is going to have a mental health spiral mask it and then get sent to the voidā#because I think about the fact ryoma literally got ptsd from seeing that fucked up future#and he didnāt tell anyone and then burdened himself with handling a issue thatās just gonna cause more trauma#I know itās supposed to be up to interpretation if heās a slave to fate or actually choosing his own path but#as someone who wonders if Iāll ever not have to struggle with mental health itās kinda triggering#which I know wasnāt the intent and it could just be āitās 2004 and didnāt age wellā but it makes so miffed#cause despite arma where he sees whole ass hallucinations of Michiru at the very least that ends with clarity#and his manga fate is more fucked up but hey at least he got a period of his life away from the getter#but newā¦. God no wonder I cope about a sequel idea even though I know it wonāt happen#it just deserves to end on a not super mentally ill note but maybe Iām just overthinking it
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I wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of him.
#like. that time. i was suicidal a lot and barbatos wasn't smiling and all..#or the time i was hallucinating his arms around me and his breathing on ky forehead#or the time i heard him making something in the kicthen#or the fact that he saved me from falling into her trap again#or the fact that I try to keep my life healthy because of him#or the time i offered him smth#it's not even obsession at this point he's my literal saviour#you can't expect me to believe he isn't real. watching. hearing. helping.#oh and the time I said the day I won't smile at barb is the day I die and I still smile at him like i met him yesterday.#call me obsessed. not like that I care. I want to live. even if its because of a āfictional characterā#idc. he isn't fiction to me.. I mean. walk in my shoes and you'll get what I'm going through.#also my traumas being related to governments . torture and things like that.. with Barb it all feels softer. lighter. it helps me cope.#ahhh I just read a comment about brbatos breaking forth wall and gell into memory lane I'm fine I'm just loving barb <3#barbaposting
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/į ļ½”źļ½”į\ . . . pokes head around corner like the most uncertain and nervous cat you've ever seenā bienvenue !! (ćļ½„āļ½„)ļ¾
just wanted to pop in quick and thank the folks who have decided to follow back (you all know me from my other disaster blogs, so bless you for willingly following this one, too . . . you're the MVPs)
i'm still kinda dippin' my toes in and gradually getting interactions going while i recover from casi's absence after her visit [blows her a quick kiss (ļ¾ā`ā„)], so thanks for your patience in the meantime!
excited to get to write someone else who's been personally victimized by h/andsome ja/ck (me š¤ timmy), and i look forward to exploring things with you talented folks! (Ā“ā”`)
#ćā
Ā« ooc Ā»#super stoked to get things going! <3 just kinda wading in at a leisurely pace#timtam is also a new muse for me; my only other BL muse from YEARS ago was the handsome bastard himself#until he literally almost drove me insane so :D#timmy and i are learning to cope with his tyranny together u.u#this is as much a ārecover from parting ways with my gfā blog as it is a ārecover from trauma caused by jackā blog#(jkjk i still heckin adore handsome jack but man he does something to your psyche i'll tell ya that much)#bear with me as i get my footing here ! ;w; thanks again for the follows and support!
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Healthy anxiety coping mechanism ā
:
using the sophrology exercises I learnt today before tackling the call with my brother
My toxic chosen anxiety coping mechanism š :
Sending a seething reply with thinly veiled threats to my ex harassing me/being creepy + filling it with radfem propaganda before having a 1min monologue with my brother's voicemail
#as a note : said ex is a male who made me realise that my idea of men was very different than the actual male body and being in a#relationship with one. He's also the kind radblr would want dead. He's a conservative pornsick pua who paid prostitues and raped me#on top of about all the male degeneracy you can imagine. So defo a terrible person I got with only because I was groomed#had internalised lesbophobia lack of self-awareness due to traumas and because I was overall in a terrible mental place#so don't feel sorry for him and please don't question my sexuality over him. I literally had my suicide planned back then#and made a lot of terrible and traumatizing life choices back then in order to self-sabotage and prompted by previous traumas#my agency over this was to break up/return in my country after three weeks of rapes under the same roof only to be raped againj#when I completely wasted myself and was coping with the process of whatever happened to me#I shouldn't have to justify it but some people here are quick to make assumptions and I've come to care a lot about radblr#and understand why some women here are wary of lesbians who have been with men given the rampant bi/lesbophobia#I was already repulsed by the male body before my rapes. i just thought I had to fix it and something was wrong with me and that being#a lesbian was bigoted (thanks TRAs for that one)#Anywaaaaays. I hope y'all are having a better day than me. It was fun to dump on my rapist that he has no business giving his opinion#about my sexuality or anything in general tho š#TaƱ ha GerioĆ¹
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this post really is the blueprint for RR felix vs lover boy felixĀ
#literally RR felix is like an annoying piece of shit at first because he thinks hes got his life under control#and then he realises he doesnt and hes like omg everything is falling apart nothing matters let me get hedonistic and silly with it#then hes like wait no i want my life to be okay i want to be a good person :(#ASTRONIMIC crisis over that because he thinks hes gone past a line#(so much of RR thematically is feeling like you're a 'lost cause' bc of childhood trauma hehe)#and then lover boy felix is like oh i made positive progress with myself#but its just made me feel fragile because i feel like i have more to lose#mfs with trauma will finally reach a sense of peace in their life and its the opposite of peace because it makes them so scared#but its still funny because RR felix is like doing cocaine in the bathtub on a wednesday afternoon#lover boy felix works at a kindergarten and is probably well hydrated#i dont think he realises how much progress he's made and when he does that's when he gets scared#especially because now hes more intentionally unpacking his trauma which is a lot#but like instead of fucking people and fighting people and breaking into houses to cope he like gets a caramel frappe and has a cry#LMAO#because he's like one wrong move and ill go back to how i was and ruin everything (which he does almost do exactly that BUT)#he will return to being messy at some point though....gotta have him falter which will scare him so much#also has a mild gender crisis between all of this too#that's my infodump on tumblr of the day so many thoughts in my head that i cant do anything with#thats really cool dallon have you been evaluated for autism#lover boy is like the normal spongebob of my wips because its tragic and emotional#but the characters dont feel like theyre basically or literally fighting for their lives every day LOL#it's refreshing i cant lie
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#okay but why did the person running that one poll tournament HAVE to bring up that whole thing. like could you not have just left it alone#like i know maybe i care about this too much but like i'm still trying to cope with that particular plot twist and fearing the worst and.#did āthey really just HAVE to bring it into the one good thing that's happened to him since then. did they have to take that away & ruin it#like you know he's never gonna live this down right. he's already had enough trauma/guilt over things that weren't even remotely his fault#he's literally NEVER going to forgive himself. you KNOW that right. why'd you think that's a funny haha meme thing let alone an IMPROVEMENT#(being intentionally vague because i'm paranoid that person will randomly find it or something but mutuals can dm me about it if you want)#(though i think some of you can already figure it out from this)#negative#personal
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Thinking about the Orthoās in my Digitwst AUā¦ Just two kids who have to deal with so much for so longā¦
#okay I hesitate to say that Digitwst Adesius is traumatized because her pain comes from stagnation#the digital worldās time moves so much faster than the analog worldās time and she spends 99% of her time in the same place with the same -#-monsters doing the same job for so long that thereās nothing left. Sheās bored and depressed and wants something new but every time smth -#-new does come along she learns all there is in just a couple of weeks or months than she has nothing again#and that 1% of time not at STYX is spent with Idia and while she loves her brother she really does she feels she has to put up an act#she was made to help him after all. She was made to be that little boy who was always optimistic. but sheās not anymore. but she feels so-#small with him. mentally and physically. because on one hand he has his own problems she shouldnāt burden him with hers when heās going -#-through so much. sheāll justā¦ tell him eventually. ask him eventually. just not today#and physicallly because on her end sheās in her own bubble her own room looking up at him from where heās contacting her with his tablet#and onto Agetes thereās the obvious trauma from literally dying and having his echo his ghost trapped in the underworld#what is he to do? heās 8 ffs. and all he has around him are the other phantoms who call the underworld their home. theyāre his only friends#and then add onto that with the same problem of time going so so much faster than the real world and itās so hard for him to tell how long-#even an hour is in that dark and gloomy place#Adesius copes by letting her frustrations out on whatever she can her only friends being her dogs but even then those are just work friends#- to her. Then Agetes does have friends but theyāre all just as dark and gloomy as the underworld is#then thereās Idia-#Digitwst#Twst au#they just both want to be free#Digitwst ortho#Adesius ortho#Agetes ortho#digimon twisted wonderland
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people calling Wuthering Heights a romance has me tweaking, genuinely.
#i will fight people on this i'm so deadass#it is a story of cyclical domestic abuse and codependent relationships#does it have quotes that are very romantic? yes it does i will not deny that#some of the things that cathy and heathcliff say are very beautiful but when you look at it through the lense of-#two children who were abused by the people meant to take care of them and whose bond changed in a very unhealthy way-#as a way to cope in an unsafe environment the perspective starts to shift.#when reading it i read cathy as someone who never really fully grew up and heathcliff was just horrible to both cathy and literally everyon#when you look at his background it's very understandable and I can see how that could have happened#he was abandoned as a child and was very malnurished before the start of the book i can hardly imagine what his life was like#and he experiences more trauma afterwards however he treats others so horribly that it can't be excused#his relationship with cathy was unhealthily codependent i mean bro literally dug up cathys dead body to lay next to it#there is no world and no context where that is healthy#i have similar opinions on Jane Eyre i was tweaking near the end i swear#forgive my yap session
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