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#and he didn’t tell anyone and then burdened himself with handling a issue that’s just gonna cause more trauma
no1ryomafan · 10 months
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Due to circumstances irl me and my friends still won’t be able to finish new getter watch which fuck knows when it’ll be resume now and one of the factors wasn’t even because not everyone could come-like one person was sick but that was it-but because we had a bunch of irl shit happened and I’m just reminded the part of the show we landed on is super fucking angsty and doesn’t get any better and that has probably encapsulated so of my iffy feelings with new despite it being arguably the most best written ova- but I don’t know if I wanna get into a whole rant about it in a post because some people might think I’m reaching even though I’m safer here compared to twit so might keep vague thoughts in the tags below.
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heartswithinreach · 2 months
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LaDS with an autistic MC
a/n: another one i’m writing for me. but i tried to touch on different symptoms so others can feel included 😊
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Xavier
He’s been asked if he’s on the spectrum more than once so he’s aware of what autism is but not much else.
That quickly changes when Xavier finds out you’re autistic. He does as much research as he can, both through books and online articles, and then subtly does his own study with you.
If he’s on his phone, you can bet he’s noting your preferences (food, texture, smells) and your interests for future reference.
Pleasantly surprised by how you start to change as you become more comfortable around him. He’s very glad to be allowed into your inner world.
Xavier never wants you to feel like a burden or you’re broken somehow. You are simply you. And he wouldn’t change a thing about his beloved partner.
Zayne
Autistic!MC 🤝 Autistic!Zayne
Zayne was diagnosed before you but didn’t pay it much attention until you got the same diagnosis in your teenage years. He added autism to his studies for medical school, learning how to care for you and himself at the same time.
When you come back into his life, he surprises you by remembering all the strategies and signals you made to support each other when you were young.
Masking has always been difficult for him. Hiding aspects of himself exhausts him so he makes sure you know you never, ever have to pretend with him. You can be yourself around him.
Zayne is in no rush when it comes to how your relationship evolves. You can both take your time in figuring this out and he’ll always be there.
Rafayel
“Yeah, I knew you were a weirdo from the day we met.”
Rude! But if you were worried telling him would change how Rafayel sees you, you have nothing to worry about. He’s loved you for so long, it’s just something new about you he gets to discover.
He loves how radiant your smile is when you talk about your interests. He could listen to you for hours, just basking in your light.
Rafayel also loves the opportunity to play hero.
“What’s wrong, cutie? You’re anxious and wanna leave early? Eh, this party was boring, anyway. Come on, I’ll get you something sweet on the way home. Don’t worry about offending anyone, I’ll take care of everything — you just breathe, okay?”
Sylus
With how rocky the beginning of your relationship was, it’s not unreasonable to think he would get frustrated with you the same way he did when you couldn’t resonate with him.
But no. Sylus is actually your most fierce and loyal advocate and very protective of your peace of mind.
He takes care of potential issues before you can even think of them and is slowly turning his home into a place of comfort for you — while keeping his aesthetic, of course.
Sylus happily allows you to cling to him in public, taking pride in how you go to him for protection. And if you have to go somewhere alone, you’ll hear Mephisto’s cry following you.
Never touches you without warning and always stops at the first sign of discomfort. Anyone who doesn’t do the same is swiftly handled by Luke and Kieran.
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roseychains · 5 months
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Jjk men/boys as red flags ~
A/n: felt like angst
C/w: angst, all sfw.
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Gojo: narcissistic 
When you and Gojo were only friends it was fine, it was always just a joke. Even when it would irritate you, you were only friends, so it didn’t mean much. But after you started dating, you realized it wasn’t just a joke. Gojo held himself above everyone, yourself included. That’s not to say he wouldn’t die for you, but instead he just thinks he’s better than everyone else. Including you. He treats you well, but it’s always back handed complements. “You couldn’t do it without me,” or “you need me,” and this time, he meant it.
Geto: avoidant
Geto has never been open with how he’s feeling. When he gets upset with you, rather than explain to you why he’s upset he would avoid you like the plague. Make up any excuse in the book to get away from you, he was suddenly always “busy.” Even once he worked him self back down to normal, it still wouldn’t be resolved in his brain. Ultimately leading to him accumulating sad thoughts that he refuses to share with you or anyone else.
Nanami: priority’s
As much as he loved you, his work always gets in the way between you too. It started with a few days spent overtime, but days turned into weeks, weeks to months, and you realized you were hardly spending time with him anymore. He would work himself day and night, even when you pleaded with him to come home to you. Your pleas fell on deaf ears, he would always tell you the same thing. That he can’t support you without this job, and it was what must be done. Even at the expense of his time with you.
Toji: irresponsible
After his wife passing, he seems to care less and less about anything else in the world. After you began dating, you realized he would do small things, innocent mistakes. Not cleaning up for himself, not switching the laundry, but when you would address the issues, he would suddenly get defensive. First, he’d tell you it wasn’t true. Then, it was an accident, and finally, if you care so much why don’t you do it. Never just “sorry, I’ll handle it.”
Sukuna: aggressive
The first time your forgave him. But when it became a repetitive issue, it started getting under your skin. The smallest things would send him into a rage, a rage that he would take out on you, raising his voice, burdening you with his anger. After he calmed down and apologized, and promised to not do that again or at the very least work on it, progress never came. Trapped in a cycle of yell, apologize, promise, repeat.
Choso: affection
Choso is inexperienced and scared. He’s scared of touch, of intimacy, he wants to love you from afar. He can talk to you for hours, and listen to you talk, but he won’t hold your hand, especially in public. It’s almost like he’s ashamed, embarrassed to be with you. But no matter how much you bring it up, he’d reassure you and say he’s just shy. But never a way to satisfy your need for physical love.
Yuji: ignorant
He doesn’t realize what he’s doing wrong, so when your mad at him he doesn’t know why. He thought he was doing everything right, and even when you tell him, he can’t wrap his head around why that would upset you, he doesn’t get it. He never has, and he never will. He ends up love bombing you and you forgive him, but do you really? No, you let it happen because what else are you supposed to do.
Megumi: self-destructive
Megumi cares about anyone else more than himself, and he refuses to take care of himself properly and repeatedly puts himself into dangerous situations. It doesn’t matter how much you cry, how you sob and hold him in your arms telling him you didn’t think he was ever coming back, begging him to stay, if not for his safety than for you. But he won’t. He never listens, no amount of tears and begging will ever change his ways.
Inumaki: effort
A relationship should be 50/50, but when someone can’t give that, the other person would make up for it. But when 40/60 becomes the new normal, than 30/70, and so on, a lack of effort on his part is a regular occurrence, it starts feeling like why do you even try. Your putting in more than you can just for him to not make it up in return. It’s almost like he doesn’t care anymore
Yuta: obsessive
It was cute first, the way he would get jealous whenever you spent time with someone else. It was a joke right? You started questioning the lightheartedness of his actions when it became frequent and almost forceful. He would resent anyone who you spent time with, he felt like you were being stolen away. So much so the point it became toxic. He would guilt trip you to stay home more frequently. And when you finally decided you were going to leave anyway, the keys to your car had mysteriously disappeared. On no, guess you have to spend the day with him, again, forever.
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grandline-fics · 4 months
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Healing Hands
DESCRIPTION: When old wounds hurt, you’re there to help ease the pain
WARNINGS: brief mention of pain, nothing explicit.
CHARACTERS: Law
WORDS: 674
A/N: A little hurt and comfort for the weekend. Hope you're all having a good weekend and that you enjoy the fic
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
MASTERLIST | PROMPT LIST
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He may have been cured completely of the Amber Lead Syndrome but the residual effects of what had once threatened his life still lingered. Most of the times when he was affected it was his lungs, his airways constricting painfully and spreading through his ribs and back. While his bad days were a rarity, when they hit it was hard to disguise his pain. Out of stubbornness and refusing to burden his crew with his suffering, Law tended to shut himself away until he felt more himself. By now the crew knew how to handle the increased workload shared amongst them but this was a first for you. Even with you being on Law’s crew for a while, this had never happened before and it had never been mentioned as something to expect. So when your Captain hadn’t shown up in the morning breakfast and debrief you’d grown concerned. 
“Captain’s just having an off day, he’ll be fine.” Penguin reassured you with a smile. “It happens sometimes, until he’s ready to join us we need to do our part.” You had no issue with the extra work, if anything you gladly accepted the extra responsibility. What you didn’t like was that Law had never let you know about his problems. While your relationship with him had only just begun to edge into one that would be considered romantic, you still thought he counted you as a good enough friend. Why did you have to be the only one on the crew to not already know about this kind of thing happening?
When you finished your tasks you made something for Law to eat and brought it to his private room. You knocked on the door before entering. To see him lying in bed and not sat at his desk already told you just how bad it was. Closing the door behind you, you approached and set the tray of food on his bedside table, from the tremor in his body and pain evident in his eyes you could tell he wasn’t in the mood to eat just yet. “Where hurts?” 
“Lungs…my back.” Law mumbled out, too exhausted and sore to pretend or protest he was fine, another clear sign to you he was in bad shape. “I’ll be fine in a day or two, it doesn’t happen much but I’m used to it.” Even now he was doing his best to put your worries at ease. With a shake of your head you kicked off your shoes and stepped around to the other side of his bed and climbed on top of the covers, shuffling over until you were sitting beside Law’s head. When he went to turn and face you, you placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him, silently signalling him to let you help. When you were certain he wouldn’t move, you placed your hands on his back and slowly began to massage into his sore body. 
You fought a small smile to see Law’s body relax a little into the feeling of your touch, glad that it was bringing some sort of relief to his discomfort. You watched him slowly roll onto his stomach for you to continue your soothing motions and you felt your bond with him begin to grow even more. Surprise lit your eyes when he reached back to wrap his arm around your waist. It didn’t stop there because your boyfriend turned his head and all but nuzzled himself closer against your lap causing your hands to hesitate. When you stopped, Law’s eyes opened and his dimmed golden gaze observed you questioningly. You recovered your momentary surprise to smile at him and continue to massage into his back. “You’re like a cat sometimes you know that?” You teased, grinning to see him scowl at you but made no move to retaliate or leave the feeling of your hands. All he could do was make a mental note to get you back when he was recovered, but thanks to you he was feeling better already.
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TAG LIST (If I've missed anyone or if you want to be added just let me know) @3v37773, @tsaaps , @i-am-all-love-puns-and-lazy , @sanemisnonexistenteyebrow , @fiery-captain-spider-santa
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heyclickadee · 5 months
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So, here’s the thing. The finale is weird. Yes, I’m hurt by the fact that Tech didn’t come back and that a character that’s very near and dear to my heart was badly handled, and that will never sit right with me. But even apart from that, the finale fundamentally does not function as a piece of storytelling or as the end to this story. I’m glad that people are enjoying it, and I will never tell anyone not to. But I don’t think it works. (I get very negative about the TBB finale under the cut.)
It’s not just the Tech stuff or the CX-2 stuff (which may very well have been the same stuff) that got dropped. It’s *everything*. Every theme, Every narrative thread besides retrieving Omega, every character arc except marginally Omega’s, Echo’s (also marginal), and Emerie’s, which was the shortest and gets wrapped up by her deciding to help Echo rescue the kids. It all stops. It makes everything that came before seem cheap and pointless if you take it into account. And this is so, so frustrating for me, because the entire show was driving towards this incredibly rich payoff, it could have been immaculate, and then it whiffed the ball so bad in the last episode that it didn’t just miss, it managed to knock over the bleachers and set the entire court on fire.
Some examples:
1. This season had a really interesting exploration of Crosshair’s PTSD via his hand tremor and how it was something he can learn to manage, but not something that would ever fully go away. Aaaaand then his hand gets chopped off. One, that was stupid. I’ve seen some excellent posts (here’s one by @the-bi-space-ace) detailing why that was a terrible way to handle Crosshair’s lingering trauma, and others talking about how the idea there was that Crosshair needed to move on and it was severing his last ties with the empire. The former, I agree with; the latter, I don’t, because not only—not only!—does this episode stop dealing with Crosshair’s trauma, it doesn’t even deal with having cut off his hand! It just sort of occurs. No one reacts to it, no one says anything about it, there’s no follow up or commentary, nothing happens as a result—it’s an event which occurs with no results coming after it. It may as well be an animation error. You can say it was about Crosshair needing to let go and move on, but that’s something you have to project on to the text, not something that’s actually offered by it. It’s empty.
2. Crosshair again: We also have the lingering issue of Crosshair’s guilt and the fact that he never seems to get to a point where it’s resolved. There’s set up for a resolution. We have that, “Sure you have,” like about Crosshair from Rampart. We also have Crosshair saying he deserves whatever happens to him in Tantiss. And then…no pushback. No resolution. No moment of Crosshair realizing that he doesn’t need to carry that burden. Nothing that says he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He had all this character development this season, but he needed - last little push to forgive himself—and we never get any indication that he does. It, like his trauma, gets dropped like a rock.
3. Hey! More Crosshair! A good chunk of Crosshair’s arc this season was about learning that anyone can change, first, and that no one is beyond saving. Eeexcept that goes no where.
4. Which brings me to my next point: There is set up for the CXs to be saved. Even if we’re laboring under the conclusion that CX-2 was never intended to be Tech at any point in the writing process (I have. Doubts. Yes, I’m calling the creative team liars, here, but with the understanding that they have contracts that may require them to lie), we do have the set up where we learn the electrocyanide zappers can be removed, and with Rex offering forgiveness to CX-1. “Whatever they did to you, whatever you’ve done, you’re still one of us.” CX-Tech or no, Crosshair’s arc was tied up with the CX plot, and because he’s the one the CXs tend to react to—or, at least, understands what was done to them—the set up was there for him to help save and maybe rehab the CXs. At the least, there was an indication that they could be saved. Eeexcept nope! That gets dropped like a rock, too, and they’re not going to deal with it. Time for maximum carnage.
5. Hunter’s arc actually takes a step backwards. Sure, he gets a technically happy ending, but because the squad is basically in the same place they were in “Pabu” back in season two (down a member but successfully hiding from the Empire in a safe place), it negates Hunter’s development towards actually taking action—and actually hurts Echo’s arc, too.
There’s been this tension all through the show between just sitting things out on the one hand (Hunter’s way) and taking direct action despite the futility on the other (Echo’s way), but instead of finding some kind of middle ground or third road, it sort of comes back around to saying that, actually, Hunter was right, they should have just gone to Idaflor back in episode three and never left even though the Pabu invasion said that no, you can’t just hide, and even Hunter’s development was moving in the opposite direction. And this also means that Echo never reaches a point where he feels like he can walk away and that he doesn’t have to get himself killed doing this. Despite development otherwise they both end up back at that conversation in “Tipping Point” without any move in either direction or resolution of that tension.
6. Omega. Okay, Omega probably comes out the best after the finale, and, conceptually, I actually love the idea of Omega becoming a pilot even if the epilogue falls a little flat for me. But stuff with Omega still got dropped, including:
- The force stuff. We have two episodes dealing with m-count (after learning in episode three what Omega was created to do). We also have Ventress telling Omega that she doesn’t have a high m-count as far as she can see, Crosshair immediately calling Ventress out for lying, and then Ventress basically saying, “Yeah, no shit, but if she has force potential she’d have to leave you behind, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion on that is, so I’m not dealing with that.” Aaaand then,m. That. Goes nowhere. Despite a bit of set up for Omega connecting to the force as early as episode one, and some more set up in Tribe, and that whole subplot of her learning how to meditate, and so on.
Now, I don’t think that it was ever going to turn out that Omega did actually have a high m-count or that she had a particularly powerful natural connection to the force. I think she’s probably got a low or baseline m-count. What I do think, however, is that we were going to see Omega connect anyway as a refutation of Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire scheme. Their goal (based off of the ST) was to create extremely force sensitive clones as a way for Palpatine to jump bodies without having to waste time re-learning how to connect to the force. You know—dark side, quick and easy path, focus on eugenics and raw power, etc. Had Omega connected anyway because of her big heart and desire to protect, it would have not only paid off that set up, it would have also refuted Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire goal. It would have worked so well thematically and the set up was THERE.
- branching off of that, I think the Omega force stuff was probably tied to the Zillo beast. We also had a through-line of Omega being good with animals and taking the time to calm them instead of responding with violence. The first time we see this is in “Replacements,” where she realizes that the ordo moon dragon (also an electrophage—I don’t know what to call these things—like the zillo beast) is just scared and hungry. This is all conjectural, but it still fits with what was set up.
- Moving on from the force stuff, we also had a through-line that started way back in episode two of the series, but which was really emphasized this season, about Omega feeling like she’s the cause of the bad things that happen to the people she loves. This is why she gives herself up during the Pabu invasion in the first place. This is never resolved! We get Omega’s confidence boost when she realizes she has the force kids to take care of, but we never get a moment where Omega realizes that she has no reason to feel guilty. She’s the glue that holds the family together! But nope! Also dropped!
- But wait! There’s more! The first two season finales have Omega watching someone she loves fall away while she’s helpless to do anything to save them. That’s perfect set up to put Omega in the same situation, but be able to save them, because she’s finally come into her own. Instead we just end up with her needing to be rescued again.
- Omega has this big speech in Shadows of Tantiss about spending her life stuck in one place or another against her will, and how she refuses to be confined like that. I don’t think Omega would have been happy just staying on Pabu for the entire rest of her childhood and young adult life, even if I think she’d want to use it on a home base. But! Dropped!
7. I still can’t get over the fact that the zillo beast is on screen for about two minutes and then just. Walks away. It’s a large beastie that’s been locked in confinement for a while and is probably hungry. And somehow it didn’t go straight to the reactors for some delicious energy smoothies. Like. It. Did. The. Last. Time. Someone. Let. It. Out. But no, that would have required it sticking around for something that was probably dropped sooooo ZILLO BEAST EXIT STAGE RIGHT I GUESS. (Edit: I have been reminded that Hemlock does say to turn off the generators once the zillo beast is out, so that at least makes sense. I still think the zillo beast should have stuck around to do something.)
8. You notice how there are a ton of commandos around Tantiss, even up through “Flash Strike?” And how they kind of largely cease to exist? And how Echo says that there are far more clones imprisoned in Tantiss than anyone thought? And then how they rescue, like, a dozen guys? Because we never find our way back to those cells Crosshair was held in during season two? And how Tarkin does mention not wanting to allow clone dissidence to turn into an uprising back in “The Summit?” Because I did. This show was never going to be about a clone rebellion, that wasn’t the point, buuut I do think the set up was there for an uprising at Tantiss itself. Begin the series with clones losing their agency en masse, end the series with some of the most subdued clones taking it back. Except nope, dropped, soooo we gotta pretend the commandos don’t exist and murder the hell out of poor Scorch.
9. SPEAKING OF. The batch does kill clones sometimes, that does happen, but they do at least usually make some kind of effort to be non-lethal even when they’re not using stun, and times when they do resort to lethal tactics are usually born out of extreme circumstances. Not here, though!! NO HESITATION MAXIMUM CARNAGE. For. Reasons I guess.
10. There’s one point IN THE FINALE where Echo mentions signaling for Rex. This never comes up again. Rex does not show up. In fact, despite being called, “The Cavalry Has Arrived,” the cavalry does not in fact arrive. There is no cavalry. Yes, I know it’s a reference to Wrecker’s first line. But I’m sorry if you call an episode that YOU HAD BETTER HAVE A CAVALRY SHOW UP. Especially when you have a one about calling them in! But that also!! Got dropped like a rock!!
11. One positive: the moment Crosshair and Hunter leaning on each other to make that shot was nice.
12. Sorry, but Hemlock’s death was deeply unsatisfying. Let’s do something more than just shoot him multiple times, okay?
13. Rampart’s death, on the other hand, was incredibly satisfying. That said, the conversation about project necromancer? I’m dying. It’s actually hilarious, because it basically goes like:
“Tell me about project necromancer.”
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“Wow! How interesting!”
I’m.
Are you serious?
I’m going to become the Joker.
Yes, I know we know what project necromancer is because of a different show. That’s not the point, the POINT. Is that any pay off for project necromancer in this show got dropped. And that’s deeply frustrating from a narrative perspective.
14. Speaking of, we never find out anything more regarding that partially successful m-count transfer from episode three.
15. We also never do anything with those medical records!
16. And Omega has a whole crossbow she never actually shoots despite the fact that her role on the team was as a sharpshooter after Crosshair left, and despite her getting advice from Crosshair on how to be a sniper. The literal chekov’s gun never goes off. I’m going to go eat gravel.
17. AZI, likewise, got toted around for three seasons for no reason. Probably could have helped with the medical records. Given that he was a Kaminoan medical droid. Oh, and that Omega was Nala Se’s medical assistant. So. Hmm.
18. You can cut everything in the season past episode five and skip straight to the epilogue and end up in the same place. This is not because the other episodes are filler. Far from it! The other episodes are great and deliver some amazing set up. But, because the finale does nothing with that set up, it doesn’t go anywhere.
19. And you know what else? From a narrative perspective, there’s no reason for Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair to be in these episodes at all. They don’t accomplish anything and make everyone else’s job harder. Omega was doing fine, she would have gotten out with the kids with just Echo and Emerie, and Tarkin was coming to cut off Hemlock’s funding and shut everything down once Hemlock lost control of the facility anyway. I can only suppose that the whole reason they were in this episode ended up getting dropped, too.
20. CX-2. Listen, the answer we get about CX-2 isn’t that he’s not Tech. It’s, “Maybe, maybe not—you don’t get to know.” Because. He’s the only CX whose mask never comes off. After a season and a half worth of buildup of unmasking CXs and people pressing them to learn their names. It’s not a no, it’s a non-answer, which is far less satisfying.
And finally:
21: CX-Tech. I’ve seen some people speculating that there was a planned CX-Tech reveal that got scrapped at the last minute—dropped, along with the other points I’ve already laid out. And, honestly? I have to agree. Despite what the creative team says, because even their denials kind of come out weird (like the Kiners saying that the large brass chord in “Battle of the Snipers” was just a nice sounding brass chord and not a reference to “Plan 99.” They also basically say that the sacrifice theme from “Plan 99” is Tech’s leitmotif. Which. Is all over “Battle of the Snipers.” That theme. Not Crosshair’s. In a scene. Where he’s supposed to be fighting a shadow of himself who Totally Isn’t Tech but we put Tech’s leitmotif here and layered it in Techno music but nooo that was never supposed to be him. Nope. I mean, come on. I’m not stupid).This post is already long enough, so here are some posts by @apocalyp-tech-a pointing out the reasons why I think this was the case, and one by @eriexplosion pointing out why CX-2 as Crosshair’s shadow and only that doesn’t quite work. I don’t need to go over the trail that was laid out again. Up to the finale this was a character that had more screen time—and far more solo screen time—than Echo. Some people will not stop yelling that there was no evidence, and. No. I’m sorry, there was. I can’t agree.
And some people might say, well, okay, the show misdirected you guys and pulled off a twist by having CX-2 be no one, and well, I can’t agree with that either. Twists only function if the twist is more satisfying than the conclusion to which the story seems to be leading. And I’m sorry, you can’t tell me that a season and a half of CX building and three seasons (because I can find set up all the way back in episode one of the show) for Tech survival culminating in what amounts to a boss fight is more satisfying than getting to see Omega have her big brother back. You can’t.
The reason I bring this up last is because, yes, I think CX-Tech was a plot dropped at the last minute, but because I also think that it’s the dropped plot that ripped everything else apart. CX-Tech was an incredibly efficient way to tie up most of the lingering plot threads and dropped character development.
-Crosshair’s guilt? Okay, he faces down the end result of his decision to stay with the empire and possibly something he knew about (Tech would be in this situation because of Crosshair, and were given hints that Crosshair knew) and is finally able to forgive himself because they’re able to save him.
- Hunter’s decision to finally take action and be proactive rather than reactive is validated, because it’s the thing that finally gets him his entire family back.
- Echo saves someone the same way he was saved, and maybe he realizes that it is enough and that he doesn’t have to be a soldier forever.
- Wrecker’s efforts to keep the family together and keep Hunter sane finally pay off.
- Omega is able to protect the people she charges about and finally, finally has all of her brothers.
- Thematically, it rounds off each member of the batch (Omega included) traumatically losing and then taking back their agency in a way that correlates directly to who and how they are as people.
- It also rounds out the OG batchers each being haunted by a failure that has to do with the thing that makes them special.
- You get pushback against “Clone Force 99 died with Tech! We’re not that squad anymore!” because no, it didn’t, and they’re more than a squad, they’re a family.
- It comes around and closes the wound opened in Aftermath and ripped back open by Return to Kamino: they go in for Omega and lose someone, but here, they go in for Omega and get someone back.
- Would allow Tech to close off his lingering threads and finish his character development BECAUSE THOSE REMAINED UNFINISHED.
- Completely subverts the “bury your disabled” trope by making sure we know the character whose disability was explored the most’s life is more important than his death. Seems like an important thing to do in a show that is kind of about disability. Just saying.
- Makes the lack of closure and little mentions of Tech make sense from a storytelling POV because the necessarily catharsis would come from his return.
- And it would actually add some triumph to the ending. Yes, this little family survived. They outlived the war. They’re together, despite every effort to rip them apart. They made it, despite the dark times, despite the Empire, despite what they were made to do and be. They defied all of that. That would have been so, so satisfying.
As is, without Tech, without that CX-Tech reveal, we sort of end up in this weird place where all the themes are half-baked. They are more than soldiers…except Tech, who had to fall out of the story as a soldier (despite us getting the clearest glimpse of what his life outside of soldiering could have been). They get to live how they want…except Tech. They don’t leave their own behind, except Tech that one time. They should value their own lives a little…except Tech. They’re more than a squad, they’re a family…except Tech, the only one besides Omega to say that’s what they are, doesn’t get to see it, and they don’t get to have him around. We begin the series with a broken family and end it with a family broken differently. That’s not dynamic.
So there’s no really punch to the ending. It’s sort of…well, okay, we tortured a family for three seasons I guess. Relieved that the survivors are doing okay, but that’s kind of it.
22. The finale in general is just sort of a bunch of events which happen, but which don’t lead into one other. It’s weird. It’s not that too much happens, it’s that almost nothing happens. Nothing of substance, in a way. The finale is, in a word, the only true filler episode in the entire show.
TL;DR: I think a lot of stuff got dropped from the finale. I don’t know why. I suspect that it might have to do with the strikes—basically, the script was done, most everything was recorded and boarded, and then when the finale was in production they got sudden drastic budget cuts (this was during a time when the studios were disappearing entire completed shows and movies as tax write-offs), had to gut what they had planned, and couldn’t bring the writers or even showrunners in to smooth over what was gutted or to even pick what got taken out. They wouldn’t have gotten to choose or compress things. They were on strike (because the studios wouldn’t negotiate), and whoever did choose ended up just ripping out the stuff that would actually take any time or budget to deal with (so, basically everything I laid out), killing it (literally), and using the remains of what they already had recorded. And who knows how they had to fill in gaps.
But I don’t know for sure. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was a last minute decision to take certain plot points and put them in a different show. Maybe it was executive mandate. Maybe the creative team just sucked the whole time (that’s one I have a hard time buying—we have four other shows and most of this one that tell me that they’re better at their jobs than this). Maybe everyone said screw it, who even cares anymore at the same time.
Maybe nothing happened. Who knows? I strongly suspect something bad did happen behind the scenes that was out of the creative team’s hands—I really do, because that’s the only way I can make sense of this—but until we can get someone talking without six layers of PR and NDAs, we won’t know for sure. All I know is that The Bad Batch is an amazing show with 46 episodes that range from “fine-but-clunky” to “IMMACULATE,” with more leaning towards immaculate than not, and some incredible set up, and one episode so nonsensically bad it makes me want to eat drywall.
It’s just that the one terrible episode comes right at the end.
I love The Bad Batch. I love every single episode and all the things that were set up, but…eh, I think I’ll be ignoring the finale until further notice.
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sp0o0kylights · 1 year
Text
Part Six / Part Seven (YOU ARE HERE) / Part Eight
A03
If the odd, small sounding Steve had been a weird pill to swallow, then the loudly swearing, furious one might as well have been a different person.
Worse?
He wanted Gareth and Eddie to stay behind.
“You are not going to the lab by yourself.” Eddie deadpanned, blocking the door while Steve acted like an agitated snake in front of it.
“You don’t understand.” Steve hissed, weaving back and forth on his feet, like he was trying to find a way out without bowling Eddie over.
Or breaking a window.
“Then help us understand!” Eddie shot back, throwing his hands up. 
Which was just the crux of the issue--because Steve seemed fine to talk about the lab being a horrible place, but kept refusing to answer why.
“You don’t have to tell us the full thing man, but give us something.” Gareth pleaded, hoping it didn’t come off as desperate as he felt.
Not his fault Steve was setting off his own anxiety.
The jock stepped back, running a hand through his hair and making a mess of it.
"I don't have the time." He stressed, anger, worry and pure fear mixing together in his tone.
In a mutter he added; "You wouldn't believe me anyways."
Tentatively, Gareth reached out, putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.
For the first time since they’d known each other, Steve didn’t react to being touched.
"Eddie and I are gonna go no matter what. So you can either give us a heads up now, or you can be mad at us later when we just follow you anyway.” Gareth said, a hell of a lot calmer than he felt.
Steve had turned partly to glare at him, but seemed to at least let the words sink in. To get through that no, really, they were going, and all this arguing was just wasting time. 
Not that Gareth trusted it. 
"I don't want you guys getting hurt." Steve burst out, and it looked like it cost him to admit even that much.
Like it was inevitable and all this was a Hail Mary attempt to keep them from that future.
Eddie seemed to pick up on it too, because he caught Steve's gaze and held it. "You're a part of Hellfire now. If you were in that lab, we'd be all coming for you. Not one of us--all of us.”
He followed it up by invading Steve’s space, jamming a finger into the jock's chest.
“I don’t know why you think we’d be okay with you getting hurt." Eddie stared hard at him, voice as serious as Gareth had ever heard it. “You’re our friend, too Steve. We’re not abandoning Tiff and the rest of the Scooby Doo gang, and we're also not letting you do something that has you this freaked out, alone.”
Which is what this all seemed to keep coming down to. How Steve was willing to throw himself at problems, how he kept wanting to handle his own issues, while trying to manage everyone else so that he was the only target.
The only person in the know, the only one in the line of fire. 
Like he was a burden instead of a person. 
Gareth kept wondering how the hell that had happened. If this had been anyone else he would have written it off as some macho bullshit, but Steve wasn't like that. He'd didn't need to be the one white knight. 
The fear he spoke with had always been too real, for that. 
It wasn't like they--or at least, Eddie and himself, hadn't picked up that something was happening, either. Something big. 
Given the weird, hushed conversations Steve kept have with Nancy, and Jonathan and even the kids sometimes…
Once, just once, Gareth had seen Steve talk to the Chief of Police. The asshole had looked awkward as hell, giving Steve a few pats to his shoulder, and Steve looking equally as awkward, leaning into it--but they looked like two people who'd gone through the same shit and now were stuck together. Not a police officer giving a warning to a teenager. Not even a family friend catching up. 
Something was up in Hawkins and now wasn't the time to dog Steve about it, but Gareth still wished he'd give them a hint. 
A tidbit, a morsel, of what the fuck had him so riled up.
“And if all this means our friends are in danger, then we're absolutely going too.” Eddie continued, nearly nose to nose with Steve.
Steve put his hands on his hips, frustration written all over his face--but he didn’t step away. "I don't think you'd be okay with it, it's just-- I'm just--already involved! This is how it’s been."
As if that wasn’t fucking alarming.
"And now, so are we.” Eddie threw back, pointing at the phone. "It’d help if you at least told us what to watch out for, but if not then we need to stop arguing so we can go help.”
That definitely got through.
Steve tapped a foot, blowing out a breath and overall acted as if Gareth and Eddie were the ones being unreasonable here.
(Or a pissed off single mother of six, not that Gareth was voicing that image.)
"Fine." He snapped finally, pinching the bridge of his nose and backing away from Eddie. “Fine! But you listen to me when we get out there, and if I tell you two to run, I need you to trust me and run.”
A grin tried to blast across Eddie’s face, the smug one he wore when he won and he knew it, but he covered it up before Steve saw.
Gareth doubted it’d take much to slide Steve right back into trying to keep them at the trailer, or straight up pull some dirty ass move to force it.
(He belatedly wondered if he should worry about Steve trying to stab one of Eddie’s tires out, but didn’t think the older teen would go that far.
Not yet, anyway.)
"I wasn't kidding when I said you wouldn't believe me." Steve spoke over his shoulder, blowing through the door the second Eddie got out of the way, marching down the steps to his Beemer. "But let’s just say that lab did a lot worse than create shit like rabid dogs, and a few of their creations might still be there. Grab a weapon!"
“I thought there wasn’t any rabid dogs!” Gareth protested at the same time Eddie said;
"So the cops can get us on felony charges? What is trespassing not enough for you?"
Eddie shook his head, following Steve down to the gravel. "No thanks, man!"
“I never said their weren't rabid dogs at all, I said--wait, who told you that?” Steve asked, trying to turn and face Gareth but Eddie simply pushed him forward, kept him moving.
“They’ve waited for us long enough.” He whispered lowly, as Gareth scrambled about for something to use.
Managed to fetch the fire poker he knew Wayne kept around to scare away coyotes, or rival drug dealers, or anything else wandering about.
If Steve said bring a weapon, he'd bring a damn weapon.
Felony charges or not.
"The cops won't charge us. Not as long as Hopper’s the one who gets there first.” Steve said and the desperation in his voice had faded a little, revealing something hard and self-assured underneath.
Not cocky, but with the strength Hellfire had when approaching a boss or baddie they had conquered once before and were familiar with. 
"And if El's involved? He will get there first." Steve said firmly, whipping the backdoor of his car open and yanking a bag out.
A bag that had muffled squawking coming out of it.
Steve snatched a walkie talkie out from it, interrupting a stream of high pitched, upset nonsense coming out the tinny speakers.
Gareth caught someone half asking, half yelling if "-literally anyone could pick up!" before Steve hit the talk button.
"What's happening!?" He demanded, as he slammed the car door and stormed to the trunk.
"Steve!" Several voices yelled at once, the speakers shrieking in static feedback.
One beat out the others, as its owner screeched into the walkie in a tone that only children under fourteen and small dogs seemed to be capable of. "Where the hell have you been!? We called a code red an hour ago!"
"Bitch later Henderson, explain now." Steve commanded, picking out a bat with fucking house nails hammered into it.
Several of which were stained a rusted, blood-red.
Eddie stopped dead in his tracks, eyeing Steve with his mouth ajar as the nails gleamed lazily in his porchlights. 
Gareth couldn't blame him; his own heart had just picked up speed.
Steve gave the bat two experimental twirls, flipping it easily in his hand, before he seemed satisfied. Both the weapon and the movement worked together, elevating Steve into something straight out of the fantasy novels Hellfire traded around.
Like a fucking paladin come to life.
Gareth felt his breath hitch at the way it highlighted the guy's biceps, already on display since Steve had shoved his sleeves up. The movement was so smooth and well practiced that it was clear this was his weapon of choice--and that he’d definitely used it before.
Gareth wasn't even attracted to Steve Harrington, but one couldn't be blamed for having eyes.
"Mike insisted he saw lights on at the lab, and Will thought he might have felt something--" Henderson started, before being abruptly interrupted by someone on his end.
"He did feel something, Dustin!"
"Shut up, I'm talking to Steve!”
"Stop arguing and give me the short version. You're all in the lab?" Steve cut in.
‘It should be illegal to sound that annoyed while moving like that.’ Gareth thought idly, as Steve dropped the bat to the ground, then propped it up against his car.
He waved Eddie and Gareth over, one hand going to cover the walkie talkie’s speakers as it spat static. ‘Pick one.’ He mouthed, in the exact same way Gareth’s mom did when she was trying to talk to him and someone on the phone at the same time.
With a short glance at each other, they went.
"--we got to the lab and El and Max were already here--" Dustin tried again, and once again was talked over, making the conversation extremely hard to follow.
Kids, God.
"-You told us to meet you here-"
"-and there were these older kids running around-'
"-excuse you, tiny bratling, we are not kids-"
"Was that Grant?" Gareth found himself asking, as Steve waved a hand above his open trunk distractedly, like a vendor showing off wares.
Except instead of trinkets, it held a gun, a knife and a fucking candlestick.
The latter of which sported another suspicious red stain.
There was a second explosion of noise, and what sounded like multiple walkie's being fought over before a young, female voice came on, its owner having apparently won the tug of war.
"The idiots thought they saw something but it turned out to just be some teenagers breaking into the lab for fun." She scoffed, and sounded suspiciously like a Tiff Jr.
It took a second, but Gareth finally placed the voice to the redheaded girl--the one who rolled her eyes a lot.
"The wall and part of the floor collapsed, some guy fell through a hole into a locked room and El thinks the collapse wasn't an accident." The words were spoken rapid fire, like a front line soldier relaying information. "She and Will both feel something."
Eddie picked up the knife while Gareth simply held up his fire poker.
Steve nodded to them, and closed the trunk.
"Can you all get out of there safely?" He asked.
"El thinks if we leave, the--thing here will attack the guy that's stuck."
'Thing' Gareth mouthed to himself.
Not a person.
Not a dog, or bear, or--anything else.
A thing.
"Fuck." Steve spat, taking his hand off the talk button so no one on the other side heard.
"She and Will aren't sure what it is yet but they're thinking it's from the Upside Down."
After a brief pause wherein someone could be heard shouting in the distance, she sarcastically added; "Honestly I'm happy to leave the guy that's stuck here, he's really annoying--"
"No sacrificing Stewart!" Steve snapped instantly, and despite all the swearing and dramatics, having contact with the kids seemed to ease something in him.
His movements were no longer frantic, back and shoulders looser.
Even the way he talked seemed to unclench, like he'd been told the worst had come and now that it was finally here, he could deal with it.
"If you're sure, because I'm pretty sure Billy is gonna start looking for me soon." Max argued.
Steve groaned. "I'll handle him if he shows up."
For the first time since Steve had picked up the walkie, silence descended.
Gareth wasn't exactly an expert in such things, but it felt judgmental.
"Are you gonna handle it like the last time you handled it? Cause we don't have anything to knock him out with and I don't know if your head can--"
"Thank you Max, but I can deal with him." Steve cut in immediately, face flaming and yeah, they were definitely out of whatever protective crazy mode Steve had started off in. "This time I have my bat and backup. So unless your brother has taken to carrying stacks of plates around, I think I'll be fine!"
"Step brother." Max corrected immediately, huffing.
Then in a slightly quieter voice, she added: "Hey Steve? Get here fast."
"I'm coming. Steve over and out." He said firmly, like an older brother reassuring a younger sibling.
How the hell the guy had ever managed to appear like a heartless asshole was beyond Gareth.
Apparently it was beyond Eddie too because the guy was practically drooling with heart eyes in Steve's direction.
The kids signed off, before quiet, blessedly descended.
"Can I ask one question?" Gareth asked, as Steve cursed at the finally silent walkie talkie.
Steve stopped, entire chest heaving in a sigh.
"Yeah, one." He said, as though even that cost him a lot.
Out of the corner of his eye Gareth watched Eddie shake himself to awareness, and then try to flip the knife with the same move Steve used on the bat's handle.
He fumbled it immediately, chasing the blade as it clattered to the ground.
"Why a candlestick?" Gareth asked quickly, before Steve turned and witnessed Eddie's awkward, scrambling retrieval.
"Jonathan tends to grab the weirdest shit as a weapon." Steve responded. "He's used a trophy, multiple chairs, a lamp," he made an etc. all gesture, as if any of that actually explained things instead of causing about ten more questions.
"The candlestick actually worked pretty well so I kept it." He finished.
"Jonathan Byers?" Eddie said, holding the knife once more and clearly pretending he'd never tried to copy Steve. "How very Cluedo of him."
Steve frowned, nose scrunching in confusion. "Cluedo?"
"He means the game Clue. It's called Cluedo in Europe, Eddie's just a tabletop snob." Gareth rambled anxiously, because throwing Jonathan Byers wielding a candlestick into the mix was just the icing on top of the weird cake.
Part of him wondered if it would be rude if he asked Steve to spin the bat again, while the other part vaguely wondered if any of this was actually happening.
Maybe Eddie had accidentally laced the pot with a hallucinogenic.
(Frankly he wasn't sure how he'd have missed the addition of extra drugs, but hey; you couldn't say that made any more sense than Steve Harrington, small town golden boy, parading around with a fucking bat with nails in it, using a walkie talkie to speak to children about how a thing might try to attack one of their friends.)
The kid’s involvement at least, made a little bit of sense.
They were young but they weren't that young--and they also weren't as quiet as they thought they were.
Particularly not when they were riled up at the arcade.
Gareth knew the lot of them thought one of the girls had superpowers. He also knew they often pretended Will Byers, the kid who'd gone missing, had spent some time acting as a "spy" for whatever evil they all pretended to be battling.
He'd mostly assumed it was a D&D-slash- LARP kind of thing, or even just traumatized kids playing pretend to cope with what had happened, but now?
"I might have lied about just having one question." Gareth admitted as Steve picked up his bat.
"I'll explain some of it later, after we get them out." Steve said, as if Gareth might actually trust him to do so after doing his damndest to dodge giving an explanation. 
"Lead on, Sir Harrington." Eddie said before Gareth could say just that, like the lovestruck idiot he was. "We're going to need both cars to carry our wayward friends home, so Gareth and I will follow your lead."
Eddie spun his keys around his fingers, and given the smirk on his face, Gareth would bet money he was hoping it looked as cool as Steve's bat handling.
It didn't.
"Provided you promise to try not to lose us, because I've lived here all my life, I know where the lab is." He finished, and somehow managed to make the words sound fun and not the blatant warning it was.
Steve nodded once, hard. "Alright. Stay close to my car, and flash your high beams twice if you run into any problems--or see like, people in suites."
"People in suites?" Eddie asked, the knife still clutched awkwardly in his hand.
"Government agent kinda dudes, they're easy to spot." Steve said, like he was cautioning them to look out for deer darting across the road. "They usually look like they shouldn't be wherever they are."
"Alright." Gareth said, before his brain could come up with a list of questions regarding that.
Steve slung himself into the front seat of his car, Gareth claiming shotgun in Eddie's van shortly thereafter.
They waited to let Steve out first, and then stayed right on his tail as Steve promptly broke multiple laws to get to the lab.
"So this is all ominous as hell, right?" Eddie said, metal music pouring from the vans speakers and eyes on the taillights of the beamer.
"Oh dude, incredibly ominous. There was blood on that candlestick. " Gareth said, still in disbelief.
Whose candlestick had that even belonged to, originally? At what point in all this had Steve decided to hammer nails into a baseball bat?
Nevermind the weapon he was trying not to think about in the trunk of Steve’s car.
The gun.
Gareth knew instinctively why neither of them had gone for it. Eddie's father had drilled into him that the extra charge for carrying was never worth it and Gareth's own father had a firm "if you point it then you might as well have used it" mentality.
Steve didn't look like the kind of person to handle killing someone well himself, and yet the gun remained, locked up in the back of his trunk.
An option he'd offered to both Eddie and Gareth without bothering to fully fill them in.
"Blood on the bat too." Eddie said, dragging Gareth's attention back to the present.
Which at least, gave Gareth an opening for familiar ground. "I'm surprised you noticed that, given you looked like you lost all the blood in your head when he started swinging it around."
"Shut up." Eddie grumped, and though normally Gareth would tease him more, he found he just...couldn't. 
Not right now.
"I'm more worried that they all kept calling whatever the thing was…well. A thing." He said, because God was it bothering him. “I mean I guess it could be an animal still but the way they were talking about it…” He trailed off, uncomfortable.
"Personally I'm hoping for monsters." Eddie said.
Gareth turned to shoot him a look. "Seriously Ed’s?"
"Mmm. Because if it's not monsters Gareth, it's humans," Eddie tapped the steering wheel in time with Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls. "and humans scare me more than anything."
 Gareth leaned back, letting the seat absorb him, his own eyes sticking to the back of Steve's head. "I guess." 
Not that he wanted to deal with either.
Best case scenario in all this?
Everyone got out safely, and they drilled Steve into what the hell had happened to him, later.
Not that life was ever that simple.
xXx
Tiff met them outside the lab.
The place was desolate. Abandoned with the kind of tell-tale signs that boldly stated something awful had happened there.
Papers and a chair were still left in the guard shack and a phone dangling off the hook completing the look. The lab itself was dotted with broken windows, the corresponding shattered glass glittering all over the ground.
All it was missing was some lightning and it would be a great location for a slasher film.
One set of odd, claw-like marks on the ground later, right near where they all parked, and Gareth abruptly decided he'd rather focus on Tiffany rather than follow that thought more. 
Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her expression annoyed, but the dead giveaway to her freaked out status was the way she couldn't seem to stop moving. Not even after they’d gotten out of their respective cars and started towards her.
Gareth hadn't seen her this bad since the day she temporarily lost her SAT guide.
It didn't bode well for the adventure ahead.
"Finally." She complained as the trio approached. "Did you three stop for milkshakes on the way!?"
"Traffic Tiff, you know how it is." Eddie said with an easy smile and a wave of his hand.
She simply gave a pointed look at her watch before glaring back at them.
"Steve!" Someone yelled, and Dustin promptly launched out of some corner at the older teen, babbling a mile a minute.
“Slow down, God!” Steve interrupted, doing a clear head to toe sweep of the kid. “You okay? Everyone good? Nobody dead?”
“Not yet!” Dustin said chipperly, which caused Steve to swat at his hat.
“Are you okay?” Gareth asked Tiff, as Steve and Dustin began talking rapid-fire, in the kind of way that spoke of past events and made little to no sense to anyone not in the loop.
"Yeah." Tiff nodded stiffly. “Would have been a lot happier if Stewart had listened to me for once, but.” She shrugged, her version of ‘it is what it is.’
Eddie reached out, squeezing her shoulder gently. “Is everyone else in the lab?” He asked, peering about.
He got another nod. “The room the idiot’s stuck in is just up the stairs and down the hall a bit. I’m amazed he didn’t get hurt, he fell through the ceiling.” She shook her head, clearly worried and trying her best not to show it. “Everyone’s kind of been wandering between there and here, but the random children who showed up are insisting we all walk around in groups.”
She turned to eye Dustin, before looking towards the entryway to the lab.
“Probably a good thing given the wall collapsed, but they all think there’s some,” She huffed, arms shrugging helplessly. “monster lurking about.”
Gareth stared at the lab entrance for a moment, once again taking in random stains and smears that were all around them. Spotted a few more of those weird, elongated claw marks raking down the stairs, spread more like fingers than anything else, and the group of them that surrounded a suspiciously large stain in the entryway. 
“What made you guys want to explore the lab tonight anyway? It’s Thursday.” Eddie asked. 
This earned him a more animated eye roll.
“Would you believe me if I told you I owed Jeff a favor, and he owed Grant a favor, and Grant got into it with Stewart over whether or not the lab had glowing goo hiding inside?"
“Glowing goo?” Eddie and Gareth echoed as one.
“Like what Mikey the bartender was saying last time he was drunk? The whole thing with that weird green goo that fell out of some truck?” Gareth asked, and it wasn’t the stupidest thing that had riled up Stewart and Grant but by God was it up there.
Tiff sighed a second time, sounding pained. “Yeah. That goo. Stewart kept insisting Mikey got a “hot tip” that some military guys knew it was here,” Her fingers came up to make the quotation marks, somehow managing to make the movement sarcastic. “and wanted it moved over to that new mall they’re building. Starcourt.”
“So Stewart had to come see it.” Eddie finished, as if he wouldn’t have also been dying to go get a look.
Frankly, Gareth himself was slightly annoyed he and Eddie hadn’t been called upon as it were.
“Mikey also apparently believes something else wants the goo and chased the military guys who were here out of the building. That part must be going around, because the kids here are pretty insistent there’s a monster inside.” Tiffany added, waving a hand towards Dustin.
Eddie made a move to slung his arm over her shoulder, giving her a full body squeeze before letting her go.
Tiff allowed it, and for the briefest of seconds, even seemed to lean in.
“Hello Steve, nice murder weapon.” She greeted loudly, entirely unphased by the nail bat in his hands as Hellfire’s jock and his favorite small annoyance stepped up to them. “Having met your children, I have to say, your parenting skills are utter shit.”
Dustin frowned up at her, instantly offended. “Steve’s our friend.” He corrected, angrily emphasizing ‘friend,’ right over the top of Steve’s loud protest of;
“It’s not a murder weapon, jeez!”
“If anyone is lacking in skills it’s your little group’s!” Dustin cut in, waving a hand around. “Not one of you was prepared for breaking into the lab! No weapons, no back up, you’re the only one who even had quarters and one of you isn’t even wearing a jacket. If we hadn’t shown up you guys would have been in some real shit!”
Tiff stared flatly down at Dustin, ignoring Steve entirely. “Sure, pipsqueak."
“What are you guys even doing here?” Steve asked, before Dustin could fuss more.
“Glowing goo, apparently.” Eddie answered, moving with him.
Tiffany took the hint, starting to walk towards the stairs as Dustin trotted forward next to her, clearly intending to “lead” just as much as she was.
Gareth watched from the corner of his eyes as Steve automatically stepped to Dustin’s right, making sure the kid was surrounded on all sides.
‘Fuckin’ softie.’ He thought fondly, even as he gripped the fire poker he held in his hand tighter.
Eddie had managed to stow the knife away, making it vanish somewhere among his jacket and Judas Priest shirt, so it was just him and Steve looking like lunatics.
Thankfully, Tiff had spared Gareth her opinion on the fire poker. 
“Goo?” Steve asked, and unlike the rest of them, he sounded downright alarmed.
“So there’s this bartender at the Hideout.” Eddie started, launching into the story with a lot more pizzazz than Gareth thought it really required. He and Tiff traded glances, and Gareth got to see the exact moment Dustin’s eyes caught sight of Eddie and went dinner plate wide.
Gareth would have nudged Tiff, maybe made a joke about how Eddie was gaining a new sheep just by his terminal need to be the loudest person in a room, but a movement on the left caught his gaze.
Gareth stopped, as something unmistakably fleshy slunk back in the shadows, one weirdly shaped paw flashing as something caught the light. 
Fear raked through him, freezing Gareth dead to the spot, hands tightening on his fire poker.
“Hey, guys? He asked, interrupting whatever story Eddie had inevitably gone off of (likely one of the many, many backstories involving Mikey the bartender’s belief in UFOs) “That monster the kids think they saw. What uh, what’s it supposed to look like?”
“Why?” Tiff asked, at the same time Eddie yelled at him to; “Keep up, Gary, god!”
Gareth didn’t answer, instead staring deep into the shadows.
Nothing moved.
‘You’re seeing things.’ He told himself finally. ‘Unless it went through solid fucking wall, you would still be able to see it. You're just stressing yourself out because Steve’s being weird.’
Fuck knows it wouldn’t be the first time he thought he saw something when his anxiety started acting up.
"So Gare, did you bring the fire poker along because of the monster?" Tiff asked, amused, as she briefly dropped back towards him.
Clearly, she'd just been waiting for an opening to tease him about it. 
He flushed scarlet. 
"No!" He spat, hugging the thing closer.
A grin unfurled on Tiff's face, Cheshire-esque.
"I'm serious, Steve told us to bring it!" Gareth insisted, trying to look manly with it.
He knew he failed as badly as Eddie had earlier.
"You know, I'm starting to think Eddie's not the only one gone on our human fighter…" Tiff trailed off, raising one eyebrow, and causing Gareth to flip her off.
Thankfully that train of conversation was interrupted by loud arguing.
“We’re not cats Steve, you can’t just put us outside!” One of the kids was bitching, the group having caught sight of Steve and hustling over.
Jeff was seated on the floor in the hallway, one hand holding up his chin while Grant leaned against the wall next to him, both looking incredibly bored.
Across from them was a door that had looked like it had survived a full-blown seige. Cracks ran throughout the wood, and with the entire center of it bowed inward it was clear why no one could manage to get Stewart out of the room.
It was completely wedged in the frame, with thick enough edges to make it impossible to just pop it out by hand. 
The hoard of gremlins were harder to make out now that they were all clumped together, but Gareth quickly made out their very….unique outfits.
Only the girls had dressed normally, while the boys looking like they either were planning on robbing a train.
Bandana’s over their faces and all.
“Yes, I can actually.” Steve retorted in the exact same bitchy tone. "Tiffany can stay with you guys by the cars while the rest of us figure out how to get Stewart.”
"Thanks for volunteering me." Tiff said flatly, but alas, was ignored by the group at large. 
“Really? So you don’t want El to, you know. Help.” The terminally loud one spat.
“El’s gonna dump your ass if you don’t stop talking for her, Mike.” Steve warned, making the girl puff up proudly while Mike immediately cut a fearful glance to his girlfriend.
“And if El could have helped before, why wait for me to get here?” Steve continued, one hand on his hip, the other resting the nail bat over his shoulder, cutting in before Mike's scrambled apology derailed the conversation.
“I cannot move the door.” El admitted in that sort of flat, blunt way she spoke. “There is something here that is making my powers unstable.”
Steve pointed to her, face morphing into a clear “see?” gesture.
“Now unless Dustin is going to science the door open somehow--and I’m not saying you couldn’t,” Steve spoke the second part quickly, as Dustin’s mouth popped open, “then all of you are going to wait outside. Where the demo-the thing, isn’t.”
Gareth really, really hated how he kept referring to it as a thing.
One of the kids rolled their eyes and muttered; “We literally said we don’t know if it’s a--” and promptly got elbowed in the stomach for it.
Right.
Not suspicious at all.
“But we can help!” Dustin protested furiously.
Gareth wasn't sure if it was because Dustin truly thought he could help, or if it was because he wasn't used to the pushback.
For all that he was an only child, Steve had clearly inherited an older brother's prerogative of letting kids do stupid shit so long as he supervised (and typically, laughed at the outcome.
Gareth still fondly recalled the time Mike declared himself man enough to smoke.
Steve had conned him into chainsmoking outside the arcade until the kid finally threw up in the bushes on his fourth cigarette and declared Steve's smoking habit disgusting.)
“El could help.” Steve countered calmly. “Max probably, if I gave her my bat, but the rest of you are just moving targets. So make like a drum, and beat it.”
"That was lame, Steve." Dustin sniffed, while the other kids groaned loudly. “A real low effort pun.”
Steve just flicked his hand out in a shoo motion before leaning his bat up against the wall.
Jeff stared it before making immediate eye contact with Gareth, every inch of him screaming ‘what the hell!’
With a sigh, and an unfortunate side glance at Tiff, Gareth explained; “It’s for the monster.”
That at least, was easier than explaining Steve knew what was here and was doing his damndest not to tell them what it was.
Even if it made Tiff grin manically in his direction. 
His only relief was that Steve got her attention right after, calling "Heads up!" before tossing her his car keys. 
Because her hand eye coordination was superior to Eddie’s, she caught them easily.
If there's an emergency, get them out." Steve warned, voice just over the edge of too serious, losing the banter he’d kept up since they’d arrived.
"If there's an emergency we're coming back on to save your ass." Dustin snapped back, arms crossed, because of course he was listening.
“No.” Steve told him simply.
“Yes.”
“No, no, no-!”
Tiff let out a sharp whistle, the sound piercing in the echoing hallway.
"Gremlins with me!" She commanded, before catching Steve's eyes over their heads . "You fucking owe me, Harrington."
He nodded, before dropping a glare to the kids. "Just don't let them drive my car."
“God I can’t believe he’s still upset about that, it’s not like we fucked up the Camaro.” Mike complained loudly, allowing himself to be herded back outdoors.
“Max did hit a mailbox.” Lucas retorted, and then yelped a loud; “Ow, Max!” as he was presumably punished for voicing the fact out loud.
Their voices faded slightly as they went down the stairs, and Gareth managed to drag his attention back to the problem at hand.
One very fucked up door.
"Do you think we could kick it down?” Steve asked, as Eddie bent down to examine the door.
Refusing to look anyone in the face, Jeff said; “We may have tried that already.” 
“My darling lambs, you’re approaching this wrong.” Eddie cooed, and got several glares for it.
“The door might be fucked by the hinges here, are not. Looks like all I need is the right screwdriver and lucky for Stewart!--” He yelled his friend's name, banging on the door and no doubt hoping to spook him.
A muffled shout of “Screw you Munson!” was all he got for his efforts.
 “--I have my toolbox in my car.”
“Do I want to know what you have a toolbox for, Ed's?” Steve asked.
“Perfectly legal avenues only, I assure you.” Eddie replied, batting his eyelashes up at Steve innocently.
Grant and Jeff both gagged.
“Would the two of you gentlemen be so kind as to fetch me my box?” Eddie said, pulling out his keys and offering them up to Jeff. “I want to try one more thing. I don’t think it’ll work, but I can test it while you boys are gone.”
“He’s going to try to kick it in himself.” Gareth tattled flatly.
“I am not!” Eddie immediately denied, eyes wide in feigned hurt.
It was fake as shit.
“Let him!” Jeff said over as he got up. “That way I won’t be the only one getting made fun of for doing it!”
A car suddenly honked from outside, startling them all.
“Check that the shitheads aren’t murdering Tiff while you’re out there!” Steve called as Jeff and Grant took off towards the entrance, before moving out of Eddie’s way as he surged upwards.
“It’s more likely she’d be murdering them.” Eddie replied, and sure enough he was backing up like he was going to try and kick the door.
“Do you see how thick that thing is? The indent, here?” Steve sassed, pointing towards the giant dent slightly off center, where the door bowed inwards. “I’m pretty sure Jeff wasn’t the one who did that. These things are built to hold, man.”
“Ah but you’ve seen Jeffery's legs. Our beloved new cleric should stick to punching things, he’s not made for kicking.” Eddie said, tongue peaking out of his mouth as he sized up the door.
An odd, low chittering caught Gareth’s attention, the noise like nails on a chalkboard as the older teens continued to argue. 
“Have you seen yourself?” Steve asked point blank, hip cocked and bitch mode on. “You aren’t either.”
“Don’t be mean, Steven, just because I don’t have jock muscles--”
The chittering got louder, and Gareth found himself taking a few steps away from his friends, in the opposite direction of the stairs as he tried to figure out where the fuck it was coming from. 
A light at the farthest end of the long hallway gave out, barely noticeable. unless one was looking for it. Gareth hadn't even internalized the hallway had lighting, he'd been too busying with everything else--but it did. 
Likely the place had a backup generator, but that didn't explain why the lights in this hallway were on--and now, suddenly, giving out. 
'Maybe the kids did it...?' He thought, still trying to figure out why the chittering sounded like it was getting closer. 
“You’re going to break your leg.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you need to believe in people more Stevie? Have some faith?”
“I have faith that you’re face is about to hit the floor, does that count?”
Another light failed, giving the appearance of the hallway warping. Not all of it, just one weird wall, that seemed to stretch like something was trying to break out. 
"Okay but if I kick the door and it busts in, you owe me ten bucks."
"If you kick the door down not only will I give you ten bucks, Eddie, I'll go see that stupid new movie you won't shut up about with you." 
"Oh we'll be seeing Fright Night with or without my door busting talents--" 
Another light, out, and now Gareth could see a shape taking form. Later he'd swear it had actually, crawled out from the wall.
(Later, he'd find out the Upside Down creatures had a habit of doing that.)
He thought it was a tiger at first.
It has the same overall shape--long body with muscular shoulders, head low as it prowled forward.
Except the tail curled up over its back, hanging like a scorpion’s and its face…
It took a second for Gareth to make sense of what he was seeing.
The huge, oddly shaped bulb, like a flower’s before it unfurled.
Thick liquid drooled out from red tinged edges, dripping onto the floor. It was too far away to hear, but Gareth imagined the little plinks of noise it made anyway.
"Guys." He said, voice pitched impossibly high.
The Not-Tiger stepped further into the light, revealing it to be hairless.
Its skin was flecked red and grotesquely gray, with odd, thick folds of flesh hanging off its sides. Those pieces moved in weird little jerks and flutters, almost like another appendage entirely.
Another step forward, the weird, folded pieces of skin moving out and out and out on either side of it, hitching up in a U shape and oh, God.
They were wings.
'Lion body, scorpion tail, dragon wings.' A far off part of Gareth identified. 'It's missing the human face, but otherwise that's pretty dead on for a--"
"Manticore!" Gareth screamed, right as the things head split open into five petals filled with rows of fangs.
It screamed right back, then lunged at him, claws and teeth and tail all extending to attack.
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🧡&💛 for hero and aubrey? It's one of my favorites but it's hard to find that much content of them >_<
Awww! I’m squealing over this ask—thank you so much for sending this in and for playing our “Hearts for Hero” Headcanons Game! 🥰
Hero & Aubrey friendship is one of my and Sprinkles' favorites too (probably my personal favorite of all of Hero's platonic relationships besides maybe his brotherly bond with Kel), and this ask really couldn’t have come at a better time since we spent the last weekend writing about Hero and Aubrey friendship for our current wip so the brainrot is so strong! 😁 Thank you so much for the opportunity to do something constructive with it!! 💖
I absolutely agree the world needs more Hero & Aubrey friendship content and hope you enjoy these headcanons! Cheers!!
🧡— Childhood Friendship
Since Aubrey’s parents weren’t around much when she was growing up, it was actually Hero who taught her how to ride a bike. Aubrey didn’t ask him to, but, even as a young kid, Hero was perceptive and sensitive enough to notice how she watched Sunny and Kel riding their bikes—wanting to join in but being unable to. Hero gently offered to show her how to ride one if she wanted, and though Aubrey tried to play it cool, she was very grateful.
They practiced on Hero’s street, and Aubrey caught on very quickly. Hero was so proud of her when she finally rode her bike down the whole street! For Hero’s next birthday, Aubrey got him an ornament shaped like a bike to thank him. He still has it, even in the future, and hangs it on his tree every year.
💛— Friendship (General)
As they age, Hero and Aubrey actually have a lot more in common than it might seem on the surface, especially in that they both struggle opening up to others and would much rather handle things alone instead of “burdening” someone else with their issues. Their motivations for that might be different (i.e. Aubrey is jaded & feels she can’t really rely on anyone but herself, whereas Hero just wants to keep the peace and is terrified of hurting someone by “dumping” his problems on them), but the end result is the same: they both deflect and hide their hurts from the world behind tightly locked doors.
This similarity makes it difficult for them to hide their pain from each other, however, and generally means they can’t lie to each other like they might be able to mask their true feelings to their other friends. This is especially true after they learn the truth. For that whole, difficult summer after Sunny moves away (and beyond), they both become really in-tune to changes in each other’s moods and can tell if the other is struggling or having a bad day.
Hero and Aubrey spend a lot of that (post-game) summer worrying about each other more than they’d let on. When Hero knows something is really bothering Aubrey, he will leave little notes in her mailbox on his morning jog just to let her know he’s thinking about her, and Aubrey tends to call Hero on his days off from his summer job since she knows how difficult the idleness is for him. Ultimately, Aubrey is the only person blunt enough to tell Hero he needs to take care of himself while Hero is respected enough by Aubrey that she might actually believe him when he reminds her that it’s okay to lean on her friends once and a while.
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 years
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Stay (I’m not okay)
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A/n: once again plz tell me if I say some and or portray incorrect portals of DID. I’ll be putting this disclaimer on every fic I do for moonknight from now on because I don’t want to offend ppl who have DID and wish to be called out if I do so.
Steven had the bad habit of being unable of reaching out for help when it was clearly needed, though this was probably regarding as to how everyone treated him as though he was a burden. Unworthy of receiving help. They couldn’t bother to give him the common decency and remember his name; Instead opting for anything other even as he continuously corrected them which was now no longer out of inclination and more of an obligation even in his sleep deprived state as to not be forgotten or mistaken for someone else. Since it seemed to be very easy to forget the faces of names in passing.
Yet like all things, his habit of being unable to reach out only became more of a struggle and was starting to become too much for him to shoulder alone without crying out tears of frustration as without a guiding hand he was as lost as a newborn fawn. So as you were about to bid him a goodnight and vacate to your apparent soon after Steven grabbed ahold of your arm in a desperate attempt of at least having someone he could trust to talk about the very things that have been plaguing his mind; Surprised at the sudden contact and grip strength from the meek and timid gift shop worker, you stopped to look at him worriedly. “Can…oh god…can you stay? Just for tonight I promise just tonight, I won’t make this a common occurrence. I just,” Steven stopped himself when he noticed his sudden word vomit were causing him to become breathless and deeply inhaled through his nose and out his mouth, praying that you didn’t think he was a pathetic idiot who couldn’t handle his own issues and continued, “I just don’t want to be alone with myself.”
When you didn’t say anything after a brief moment of silence Steven immediately began to regret his decision and back pedal in fear he had overstep he boundaries as your neighbour, “I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It was stupid of me for asking of course you wouldn’t-“ “Steven.” Your calm voice brought his attention back to you as you grabbed ahold of his hand to hold it in your own, squeezing it reassuringly, silencing the berating voice within his head, “I’ll stay as long as you need me to. It’s perfectly fine to ask for help now and then there shouldn’t be any shame whatsoever.” Steven’s worries seems to settle momentarily as a sheepish smile graced his lips and his eyes naturally avoided making contact with yours in favour of honing on to your hands instead, not at all use to the kind and tender touches you give him in his worst moments reminding him that there were people like you out there, he just has to look for them.
“Thank you y/n. I just…I’m just so tired and-“ his voice breaks towards the end before clearing his throat, “and I’m lost, the only thing I’m certain in knowing is that I’m not okay. Help doesn’t come easy to me as how am I meant to make people believe and find truth in my words when I myself am uncertain that I’m aware of what’s reality and what’s not. How do I get others to take me seriously when I don’t know myself and most days I feel as though I don’t have anyone to talk to about these kinds of things.” You squeezed his hand once more but firmer this time in hopes of getting him to look at you, “Steven. I appreciate that you took your time to reach out to someone and am honoured that you chose me to be that someone. I’m not a professional, I don’t know what it’s like in your situation but I know for a fact that you will be okay. That may not be tomorrow or even the day after that but there will come a day where you will be okay. That you will be safe and I promise to make that happen by being with you every step of the way and be there to catch when you fall back and I don’t expect you to tell me everything as I refuse to make you feel as though you owe me that when you don’t, you don’t owe me anything because that’s what friends are for.”
Steven looked into your eyes and saw the kindness and determination to help within them that he couldn’t help but let out a weak chuckle as he felt as though the weight on his entire being has finally given way for a brief moment of relief. “We’re…friends?” You chuckled at the way he tilted his head, out of your entire speech that was what he took away? You mused to yourself as you began to walk with him to his apartment. “Yes Steven we’re friends now let’s get you something to warm you up and we can talk about whatever comes to mind. You can even start by telling me how you got your pet fish Gus.” At that moment Steven never felt more safe nor more warm then he did with your hand still in his and talking about the mundane things in your life. He never truly felt at home in his apartment, not until it finally did feel like home with you by his side.
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linkspooky · 4 years
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Yuji, Alone. 
I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support. 
Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut. 
1. Yuji and Geto
If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.” 
Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all. 
Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people. 
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This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?
Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously. 
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To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society. 
Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.
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Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap. 
Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences. 
To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid. 
Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested. 
Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only. 
However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo. 
Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other. 
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"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.
Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)
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All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?
Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things.  Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with. 
Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them. 
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Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.
Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else. 
2. Avoidant Attachment
This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother. 
Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years. 
Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one. 
Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.
Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help. 
Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped. 
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During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people. 
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And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own. 
It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo. 
I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.
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It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others. 
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I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.
Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird.  I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.
At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional. 
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Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions. 
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Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him. 
Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone. 
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rendevousz · 4 years
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little hacker
avengers x fem!teen!reader
characters: brief clint barton, tony stark, steve rogers, natasha romanoff, peter parker
summary: you hacked into tony's systems and he, along with the team, track you down.
warnings: mentions of death and a car crash, hacking written by someone who has no idea how it works
word count: 3241
note: hi um this is my first oneshot on tumblr i hope you like it!!
you were 14 when you first met the avengers. your family had gotten into a tragic car accident and you were the only one who made it out alive, leaving you in excessive guilt and burden; guilt because you were the only one granted a second chance at life and burden because you had to live your life, barely scraping by as you were dropped the responsibility of taking care of your sick grandmother.
at 11, where all that the kids your age had to worry about was whether their pocket money was enough to get themselves an after-school snack, you worried whether or not the money left to your name was enough to survive.
at 11, where girls worried about their changing bodies and asked their mothers about it, you had to figure it all out yourself and with the help of your trusty laptop, the only gadget you had, one that your dad had gifted to you after you had gotten 100s for all your tests at age 8. he thought you were his little prodigy and figured a laptop would treat you well. you took care of it well because while you didn't want to spend the last of your money left, —that was specifically set aside for your grandmother's hospital bills— you wanted to hold on to the laptop for as long as you could, as a reminder of your loving father, as well as the memories the item held, after you've watched movies with pretty much all of your passed family members on that laptop at different points in your life. that was why whenever the thing lagged due to how much you've been using it, you almost always figure out how to fix it until it was good as new.
at 12, while your classmates had their parents to protect them when they were out at night, you feared for your life whenever you were out past dark. which led you to learning self defence from youtube videos. you learned them pretty quickly and with your sharp-wittedness, you no longer feared to be out at night. you even had the honours of trying out your skills when some men thought they could get you just because you were smaller than them.
at 12, where kids your age were having fun, enjoying their childhood, you had no choice but to be mature and think for the good of yourself and your sick grandmother. you were forced to grow up and you were probably more mature and intelligent than the rest of your classmates combined.
and at 13, you realised that money wasn't going to grow on trees and the money you were left with wasn't going to last forever. it had to last until you were old enough to work. but with your grandmother's condition getting worse and worse, you were forced to drop out of school. you were upset because you loved it. you loved knowledge. but family came first and the only thing that your knowledge increased on was on computers.
which led to you being able to hack into tony stark's bank account at only 14. you had no other choice than to steal money and who better to steal it from than a guy whose pocket change could probably last you another five years or so? you knew who tony stark was, the whole world knows who he is. and you thought that maybe he would be too preoccupied with his alter ego saving the whole world, along with his group of earth's mightiest heroes that he wouldn't notice the tiny bit of money you'd stolen from him.
of course the billionaire had been alerted immediately by his AI when you'd accessed into his systems. "security breach?" he exclaimed, immediately dropping the tool he was tinkering his suit with in his lab.
he spent about 3 minutes, that was how long you took touring around in his systems, observing what you did in it. he watched as you did nothing about the highly confidential information he had and instead, stole....5 grand from his bank account? that was barely a scratch to his account. what was going on?
he had requested FRIDAY to track down the hacker, mainly because he was perplexed that someone had hacked into his well protected system just to steal a tiny bit of money but it seems that even FRIDAY couldn't track down where it came from.
he told the team and it was then that everyone worried how dangerous the hacker could possibly be.
"who steals just 5 grand after hacking into a billionaire's bank account?" clint frowned after tony had explained the whole situation. "i mean, if i managed to hack into your systems, i'd do way more than just steal a couple bucks."
"exactly. and who knows? they might just be waiting for the right moment to install dangerous malware into the system and until we find the culprit, they're roaming somewhere out there with all our confidential information right at the tip of their fingers. if they decide to use it against us..." tony trailed off, for once having a worried expression on his otherwise nonchalant face. he's never been this clueless about what to do with any sort of technical issues concerning the avengers or himself.
you on the other hand, after getting complacent that you weren't caught, kept doing so for the next couple months or so. you had no ill intentions, just trying to scrape by. the whole situation puzzled tony. he didn't care how much you've taken from him in total now, you were right; it was merely pocket change to him. but you were still considered a threat since you had free access to his systems and he didn't even know who you were or where you were.
that was until you made a tiny mistake, one that if tony wasn't spending every waking moment trying to track you down he wouldn't have noticed. and though it was a small mistake, it certainly was going to change how things ran from then on.
that afternoon, after having just gotten back from visiting your grandmother at the hospital, you were planning to get more money from the billionaire's bank account at the comfort of your own home. god, hospital bills were expensive. once you had had a little snack, you settled down on the couch and opened your laptop. but being the quick-witted person you were, before the screen in front of you lit up, you saw movement from behind you.
your heart raced. you could handle fighting people but those usually happened in alleys at nighttime. this was in your home, your safe place. you made sure to lock the doors and there weren't fire escapes outside your windows so how did the intruder get in?
you could tell they were trying to be inconspicuous to get to you and so you let them. you let the person think that they were going to get you without a fight but when they were right behind you, you swiftly turned your body around and jumped over the couch. the masked intruder let out a surprised yelp and the two of you fought for a bit. before you knew it, you had them pinned under you in just ten seconds.
"wha– how– what?" it sounded like a boy. you looked down at him and noticed his red and blue spandex suit. you frowned. wasn't this the friendly neighbourhood spiderman guy or something? why was a superhero breaking into your home?
he was coughing from your knee pressing down onto his chest and you lifted it slightly, enough for him to breathe but not enough to escape. he seemed grateful though because he muttered a seemingly embarrassed 'thanks'.
"get off the kid or i'll blast you off of him myself."
you look up and saw the iron man repulsor aimed right at you, and obviously iron man himself was standing right there in the middle of your small apartment. behind him stood a redhead, who you knew as the black widow, aiming a pistol at you, and a man with a shield, captain america. the spiderboy must've come in through the window and unlocked the door for them.
when you made eye contact with steve, he frowned in confusion. you looked way too young to be the culprit they had expected. he muttered a quiet 'wait, what?' before tony stark revealed himself, his iron man faceplate opening.
"um...kid? where are your parents? or guardian? we need to see them because there's been some highly illegal activity coming from this address." the man in the suit spoke. you stayed still, knee still pressing against the boy under you, frowning at the adults in the room. they noticed your apprehensiveness and slowly lowered their weapons. "we're not here to hurt you, you can release the boy now," steve told you gently.
you usually weren't one to trust easily but since these people were known superheroes, you reluctantly stood up, still anxious of the possibilities of what they could do to you. the spiderboy got up too and dusted his back, before going to stand next to steve. you were confused as to why these heroes were breaking in your home until you remembered what you had been up to for the past weeks. how could you forget when that was the only reason you were still surviving?
your eyes widened with fear when they met tony's soft ones. he looked at you with such care and worry that you were reminded of your late dad. the man in front of you wasn't the arrogant man you've watched on youtube. you felt bad for stealing from him now. you used to think that he deserved it, despite how little you took compared to how much he had. the man knelt down before you so he didn't appear so big in front of you, seeing your frightened expression. little did he know you were frightened for a totally different reason.
"anyone else living here, kid? because i tracked down this address and someone has been stealing money from me. i might need to have a little talk with them." he explained, looking around the house. you fiddled with the hem of your shirt nervously, scared of what would come once you came clean about your actions. you were scared you were going to be taken in for juvenile crime but you were also scared of the consequences of lying straight to their faces. so you took a deep breath before deciding to just tell the truth.
"t–that would be me, sir." you admitted in a small voice, avoiding eye contact with the billionaire you had been stealing from. a few shocked looks from the team and an incredulous 'what?' from tony had you biting the inside of your cheeks in fear.
"i'm truly sorry about that, sir. i..." you trailed off, debating whether or not to justify your actions because you thought that he might not even want to listen to it. "i had to pay off my grandmother's hospital bills because she is very sick. my family died a few years ago in a car crash and i was the only one who made it. i was left some money to my name but having to survive on that along with paying off nana's bills, it was bound to run out. i...i thought that since you were a billionaire, stealing a few thousands wouldn't matter to you...i'm so sorry, sir. i– i'll start working to pay you back.." you stuttered out, holding your hands together so it would minimise the shaking.
tony's mouth opened and closed, like fish out of water, not knowing what to say to you. he stood up and you were on the verge of breaking down right then and there, feeling as small as you did before he knelt before you. "p–please don't report me, sir. i– i don't know what would happen to my nana if you do.. i swear to you that i didn't mess with your other files. i only accessed the system for your bank account and that was it. i have no ill intentions, please don't report me.." you were now the one kneeling down in front of him, begging.
the team were flabbergasted at the scene unfolding before them and tony was quick to get you off your knees, which scared you even more because the death grip of his metal hands on your forearms had your mind running wild at the millions of possibilities of what he would do to you. was he going to kill you and leave you somewhere that people were never going to find your body? or was he going to dispose of you and use his power to remove you permanently from the system so no one came looking for you? he had the power to ruin your life and you feared that.
snapping you out of your mental breakdown, he spoke softly. "hey, it's okay." and that was when you realised the 'death grip' he had on your forearms had only been your paranoia getting the best of you. he was barely even touching you. your teary eyes looked up at his soft, brown ones in fear.
then he smiled at you.
"it's okay. i understand the reason why you did what you did. you're a good kid, your nana is so lucky to have you. what's your name?" he knelt down before you once again, knowing that him standing tall in his iron man suit terrified you. "y/n." you responded timidly.
"how old are you, y/n?" this time, it was steve who asked. you had forgotten that there were other people in the room, too consumed by your fear for your life a few moments ago. "i'm fourteen, mr america, sir." you whispered out, the sight of captain america in person intimidating you until you saw a kind smile on his face.
"you're pretty young to be doing what you've been doing, y/n. are you aware that you're the first person to be able to hack into my heavily protected, supposedly impenetrable network? many have tried to do so and failed, and they were really smart people too. have you been doing this for a while?" tony asked.
"um...my father gifted me this laptop when i was 8 because i did exceptionally well in school. he believed i was a child prodigy and let me have a laptop since he knew my studies wouldn't be affected by the distraction of entertainment. i used to only hack into games to cheat my way up the ranks but only recently i tried something else since i had nothing better to do and i've been out of school for a while now. i knew you were a billionaire so i tried just for the heck of it and surprised myself when i got in on the first try. and then i saw your bank account details and i really needed money so i stole some... again, i'm so sorry about that." you apologised, looking down at your feet.
he couldn't believe it. you were just messing around and you managed to get into his system? you, a mere fourteen year old who was out of school, managed to single handedly do what geniuses around the world had failed to do?
he was initially just going to have a talk with the hacker, and in case they were dangerous and had backup, he brought his own. but bringing steve, natasha and peter proved to be unnecessary when the culprit turned out to be you.
"where did you learn those moves?" natasha stepped closer towards you. you looked up at the redhead, noticing the glare she had on you when she aimed her pistols at you was replaced with curiosity.
you fiddled with the hem of your shirt even more, embarrassed to tell her that you learned to fight from a couple of youtube videos when she had gotten years of actual training. you were pathetic compared to her. "i, um, i learned them from some youtube videos."
her eyebrows raised in surprise at the revelation. you hadn't gotten professional training yet you moved like you had. peter had superhuman strength, agility and endurance yet you took him down in under ten seconds. sure it may have been a disadvantage to peter because he was caught off guard but he should've been able to take you down still.
now was tony going to let the chance of a lifetime slip by? no, of course he was immediately thinking of recruiting you. your dad had been right about you being a prodigy. you adapted to new skills quickly and you were perfect for recruitment.
"hey kid, wanna be an avenger?"
your eyes widened and your jaw dropped in shock. steve immediately turned to him, an incredulous look on his face as he glared dangerously at the billionaire. "stark, you wanna think about this for a minute?"
"thank about what, cap? you saw what she did to the spiderling. and she successfully hacked into my system on her first try and we took weeks to trace her. romanoff back me up here," he saw how impressed natasha was by you and he knew the redhead wasn't going to disagree. "stark's right, steve. she's only fourteen and she's capable of so much already. we need someone like her."
"exactly! she's only fourteen! this life is dangerous for her!" steve argued. peter then tapped his shoulder to get his attention. "hey, mr rogers, i'm a sixteen-year-old avenger and she took me down easily. not gonna lie, it hurt my pride, also my back when you flipped me over your shoulder," he turned to you but you didn't say anything because you couldn't see his facial expression. "but i think she's going to be okay, sir."
steve sighed before turning to you, the defeated expression on his face softening when you looked up at him with your doe eyes and a small smile. you didn't answer to tony just yet since it seemed that steve had a say in it as well but you were dying to say yes. not only were you not going to be reported for your crimes but to be recruited by iron man himself to be an avenger? who could say no to that? not you, at least, since you had nothing better to do with your life at the moment.
"well, what do you say, kid?"
your smile grew and you nodded happily. the team couldn't help but crack a smile at how happy you looked for the first time since they've encountered you.
"well, you should go pack your important stuff so we can go back to the tower. you're going to be moving in if you're an official member of the avengers." tony told you and you nodded, walking towards your room to start packing while the team sat on the couch to wait for you.
"wait, what's going to happen to my nana?" you turned back towards them, worry etched onto you face. "don't worry about it, kid. you can give me the details later and i'll settle it. she'll be in good hands." he assured. "okay." you mumbled in response.
you were actually going to be an avenger. "awesome.." you grinned to yourself as you packed.
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haleigh-sloth · 2 years
Note
hi haleigh! sorry for the long ask, i ended up rambling too much :( i know you answered asks in a similar vein, but do you have any scenarios in mind to how shigaraki will react seeing his dead family appear in the battlefield? they are tenko's repressed trauma manifesting so he probably won't have any control over them, but i have so many thoughts... will they be able to talk, will they try to stop/hold shigaraki or maybe apologize like in the dreamscape? how do you feel about where this is going?
and you've also talked about shigaraki's perception of his own worth, the way he thinks he's not worth saving. i think something he might wonder is what makes bakugou so special that he is saved over and over again. even he himself in a way tried to save bakugou after the sports festival thinking that bakugou was also being oppressed lol.
what makes bakugou so special that edgeshot has sacrificed from his own life and mirko lost another limb so that he can live on. is it because he is a kid? tenko was a kid, shigaraki's still young. is it because saving people is what heroes do? that's such a hypocritical thing to say or think facing someone you've been trying to kill up until that moment. will all the heroes there being "we will save this kid because heroes save people" get a reality check after watching whatever is about to go down with shimuras? to clairfy i don't think anyone will think about actually trying to save shigaraki before deku arrives, but it could change the mood for them enough to consider supporting deku's attempt to get through to tenko when he does. do you think that could happen?
This is gonna be a long response lol, whoops:
On whether they’ll talk or not—I have NO idea. I am surprised (in a good way) by this development. It definitely wasn’t on my bingo card (speaking of, I need to make one of those lol). I do not know if they will be fully detailed replicas of the Shimuras (plus the old lady who ignored him), or if they’ll just be figments of them made out of flesh ಠ_ಠ.
How do I feel about where it’s going—I am so excited. Very. It’s surprising, but it’s fantastic and I personally love it.
Is he going to suffer a lot more? Yes lol. The issue of his feelings surrounding his family is something he represses deeply and avoids confronting, because the reality of the situation would be a lot more painful to face than what he believes right now. He rid himself of his guilt surrounding his family dying by just telling himself that it was fate, it was meant to happen because he wanted it to, and that all he can do is destroy. Why feel bad about something happening if it was fate? He called it a “fateful day”, then said he felt relief from the burden of guilt as his family crumbled in front of him. But—the truth is, he didn’t want them to die. And I suspect the revelation that he wishes they were still here will come up fairly soon, especially after these developments. And instead of feeling guilty, he just believes that he’s only good for bringing mourning and destruction, which means there’s no point in feeling guilty, it was always gonna happen, it was meant to happen, it was fated. Which leads to the issue of how he views himself and if he’s worth anything to anybody, worth saving at all. We saw in this chapter that in his mind, he’s not. If something is already broken, there is no point in trying to save it right?
The issue with his family is complicated—because it’s not just that they died. It’s that they died at the worst time possible. He hangs onto those moments and can’t move past them, even though he’s tried:
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Because we know from how BNHA handles families (and from the reality of how families are irl)—Tenko doesn’t actually hate them. He loves his family, hence the guilt. And him trying to move on by forgiving and forgetting. It’s because he loves his dad that the cruelty of his dad’s last moments weigh so heavily on him. It’s because he loves his family that his pain and trauma associated with them is something he avoids actually confronting like the plague.
They died when they were at their worst, as a family. And they died before they could try to make it better—which we know was where it was going, because Nao was putting her foot down after the incident:
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So them dying was traumatic enough, but the long lasting effect from their deaths is that Tenko has only been able to hold onto the final moments he’s had with them. Those are the memories that stick, the ones we see, that he can’t look past. And a lot of that is due to the circumstances, yes, but also we are explicitly told that AFO has a huge role in his inability to move on:
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So because of the sheer fact that he has not had any type of healing when it comes to his family, I see no way for this to end well. And by that I mean—we will probably see him get worse mentally and emotionally. He’s already prone to having mental breakdowns literally in public in front of everybody lol—I don’t think this will be any different.
And the ending result I think we should expect is for him to lose himself more and more to AFO in the possession. Because as long as he keeps getting worse, he will continue to lose his agency. It’s been said a bunch of times already, and it was reinforced with the symbolic little Tenko still being present inside. But seeing that symbolic Tenko start to actually show physical signs of stress is not good. It means all those feelings are being internalized really deeply in Shigaraki right now. It’s so triggering for him that it’s affecting the core that up until now has been shown to still hold onto hope of being saved.
On Bakugo—I think it’s perfectly in line with the idea behind saving, and have pointed it out before, just last week. Shigaraki has seen Bakugo be saved by diligent groups of people 3 times now. One of which Midoriya was involved in—which I expect to matter later. It DOES sting to see them save something already “too far gone”, or broken.
It reinforces Shigaraki’s belief that heroes just continue to pretend not to see the people they can’t protect. Him being one of the people they ignore. It also plays into Shigaraki’s negative thinking about himself though.
Bakugo is useful to society, therefore it’s worth putting in effort to save him.
Tenko killed his family. And even said he felt as though being ignored back then was a punishment for that. But because he’s only good for destruction, he isn’t useful to society and therefore, not saving.
It all ties together nicely and it all bolsters the points several people have made now. Shigaraki’s guilt about his family’s deaths is still very much present, he just tries to mask it by telling himself he was fatefully meant to destroy, and bring nothing but misery to the world. But, those thoughts just resulted in a lot of self hatred, and THAT resulted an inability to retain his agency against his abuser. Literally everything has worked against him being able to move forward.
So while I don’t think what’s happening right now is going to be anything positive—I think it’ll pave the way to really positive developments later.
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forsakenoathkeeper · 3 years
Text
I Am Alive (chapter 30/?)
Chapter 30: Where the Skies End
Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content
Chapters: 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24 • 25 • 26 • 27 • 28 • 29 • 30 • more coming soon
[ You can also read on AO3 ]
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Unsurprisingly, and much to your frustration, Connor had finished the move without you. There might not have been much left to move at that point; but, it was your stuff at a house that you rented, and not Connor's responsibility in the slightest.
But, there was no telling the android that, and you knew that he would have been well equipped with plenty of reasons as to why he could handle the rest of the move alone: you needed rest, he didn't require sleep, etc, etc.
When you stepped off the elevator into the android's - and now your - apartment, Connor had a look on his face, as if you had come home for the first time in years. You had only spent a week at Hank's place, and only a day and some odd hours at the hospital prior to that, and Connor had been nearly inseparable from you the entire time; yet, it felt like ages since you had been here.
It was only then that the weight of your near death experience became apparent. Before, your life, or the loss of it, wouldn't have impacted anyone else. It was just you in that little house, trying to make a living, picking up the pieces of a war and watching humanity change astronomically.
Now, there was a life that would be changed if you were gone. You let yourself imagine how Connor would cope, what would become of him, and struggled to keep the sorrow to yourself.
Perhaps, for the first time in your life, you knew what it was like to be needed.
Your wound healed remarkably in the weeks that followed. The scar left behind was star shaped and your skin was darkened around the sunken surface. But, you didn't find yourself hating it as much as you thought you would.
It wasn't something you looked at with pain or regret, but rather something prideful. Maybe there was something masochistic about it, not that you found yourself bothered by that realization.
Your coworkers thought it looked 'pretty cool' and declared that it made you 'quite the badass'. Now, you could wear the badge of 'I've been shot', with a bizarre story to tell. You didn't care if people thought it was strange, letting yourself get shot for an android.
Connor was much more than 'just' an android. He was the man you loved, who carried an astronomical burden you could barely understand. Sure, you could judge the weight, the pressure; but, you, an ordinary human, couldn't possibly understand what he felt as the target of a revolution that would change humanity forever.
The thoughts became clearer as you and Connor stepped into Haven for the last time, and you took in the emptiness, the quiet, and the cold.
"One moment," Connor advised you, stepping away and into the open space in the center of the room.
RK800, like all androids, had no true sense of temperature. Connor couldn't feel cold the way humans did. His artificial skin wasn't going to prickle with goosebumps and his muscles wouldn't shiver from the discomfort.
His HUD could report the weather if he enabled it and he had various feedback modules to inform him of how the temperature would affect a human, with the rightful assumption one would be in his presence.
Yet, despite this very well known limitation of his being, Connor couldn't explain how he managed to feel so cold as he stood there in the very abandoned Haven.
He was aware that warmth could be metaphorical, symbolic of belonging and comfort. His sense of cold was both literal and figurative in this sense. Without any machines running, all the lights turned off, Haven had become very cold. The halls, once busy with androids, were now empty, and the building was silent if not for the creaking walls.
-until someone walked through the distant corridor, their quiet footsteps rattling in Connor's acute hearing module.
There was an apology on the tip of Connor's tongue when he caught the sight of Markus. However, the RK200's stare wasn't cold or untrusting. There was something undeniably regretful on his face, conveying sympathy to the fellow android.
Markus' mismatched eyes caught the sight of you over Connor's shoulder, and spared a sad expression.
The two androids had agreed to meet here, for the last time in circumstances like this, hopefully. Once the final bill was passed, and androids would be proper citizens, there would be no need for this.
However, Connor had yet to obtain a definitive lead on Reaves' accomplices. This, at the very least, could provide some security for the androids that came before him.
"I know you didn't want me to," Markus began. "But, I will tell them it's from you. They should know."
"It's... your choice," Connor replied quietly, hoping to mask the uncertainty in his tone.
The two androids took each other's wrists, pushing the fabric of their jackets out of the way to touch skin to skin. Connor knew that Markus trusted him. He took the file without even bothering to scan it first. Only once it was already saved on his local system did he bother to analyze it.
The detective android had worked on that during your recovery week, while he laid beside you in low power mode. He reviewed the log files on his internal firewall over a thousand times, and crafted additional security protocols, specifically designed around write protection. Factory defaults, if he could help it, would be near impossible.
Markus could share this new code with other androids. If Connor failed to stop it in time, at the very least, their memory modules would be protected from brute force attacks, cyberlife certified or otherwise.
As their hands parted, Connor seemed to understand why he felt so cold. He had grown accustomed to how your skin felt - how human skin felt. Even when you weren't acutely aware of it, you were always warm.
"You're one of us," Markus declared, his hand dropping to his side. "We couldn't have done this without you. Your sacrifices need to be known."
"Sacrifices," Connor parroted quietly, doubtful.
He thought about Reaves' disbelief, at how he prioritized saving your life over securing the future of his kind. He could have killed you, carried on the mission, secured all of the chips and brought the android protestors to absolute surrender.
But, he didn't.
Before you, what had he gambled, if not his own life? A life that, by the very words of his creators, didn't exist, was meaningless, just programs executed in succession. He had questioned the very existence of his own life, but so had every android before him.
Still, the determined look on Markus' face didn't falter.
"Until we meet again," he offered, nodding at his fellow android. His eyes landed on yours before he turned away, and you offered him a sad, small wave.
As Connor passed, he took his hand in yours and guided you out of the building with careful steps. It was unnecessary to bring you here, but he understood the importance of goodbyes, and didn't want you to believe your efforts here had been in vain.
You expected to be driven home after that; however, as you climbed into the car, Connor asked, "would it be alright if we went to the park for some fresh air?"
"-'course," you replied softly, shifting your gaze from the android's face to look out the window.
Connor was uncharacteristically quiet during the drive, his hands gripping the steering wheel in a death lock. You didn't pay much mind to it, figuring he was stressed after everything that had happened. You had been the one on death's door; yet, Connor was the one seemingly always on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
It was worrying; but, you knew he needed to work through it in his own way.
At the park, Connor had hoped you would head straight for the bridge, to a place you had cherished so much. If his research was accurate, this needed to be done at a special place. As he followed you slowly up the curve, feet tapping against the boards, a wave of doubt washed over him.
You looked stunning, standing upright for the first time in weeks, with pep in your step, the sun soaking up your hair. Could he really have this? Could he even think himself allowed for such a thing? Could an android truly understand the needs of a human?
"You alright?" you called out to him, pausing before you reached the apex of the bridge.
It snapped him out of his stupor, and Connor replied softly, "I'm fine."
You continued and he followed, counting the steps despite how unnecessary it was. The android knew he had never been this scared in his life. This type of sensation was really, really unpleasant. His processors were giving him ridiculous warnings that didn't pertain at all to the situation.
He shut off the alerts and met you at the top of the bridge. His hand slid over the railing, analyzed the material as a strong timber, coated with a lacquer color called 'cedar brown', manufactured by-
Connor quickly closed the analyzed results, realizing how pointless that was. He was distracting himself, busying his processor with his manufactured purpose to avoid something he was definitely not made for.
At the top of the bridge, you turned to the man standing beside you, just in time to see him deactivate his human skin. His gaze met yours, and you smiled at the sight of RK800, as he was made, without the imitation of human-likeness.
For a moment, he stood there and let the heat of the sunlight catch on his sensor processors. The human tone of his factory issued skin flickered back on briefly before shutting back off, as Connor mentally questioned if he should do it like this.
The sudden nervous expression on his face, and his flickering pallet, had you concerned. In the sunlight, you could catch the subtle flaws in the design of his optics: the faint glimmer of a camera lens hidden beneath the almost perfect human appearance.
"Are you sure you're okay?" you asked, suddenly reaching for him. Your hand fell into the curve of his elbow.
"There's-" Connor began, stopping himself when a jogger passed the bridge. He was silent until they were gone.
"There's something important I need to ask you," Connor explained, his voice quiet and hoarse. "I'm sorry for not being more forthcoming. I was afraid."
Despite the obvious implications of what that question was, your head swarmed with the worst possibilities. The detective android, who had stormed a building of armed men to rescue you, who never hesitated to take a bullet for anyone, was afraid of something?
"Connor," you murmured, his name falling from your lips without purpose. The concern, however, was heavy in your tone.
"Before I ask, you need to know that you can refuse. There is no obligation, despite what we have been through. I won't hold any negative feelings towards you. From my research, this is premature, and I apologize for that," Connor babbled.
"What?" you blurted. "Connor, what are you - what's wrong?" you insisted, pitch rising as you started to panic.
"Nothing is wrong," he replied sharply.
He stepped back, just enough to create a few inches between you. You watched him reach into his coat pocket and pull out a small box. Mind hazy with the aftermath of Reaves' attack, you feared Connor was going to present you with evidence, that the case had taken a dangerous turn, or even inform you with the worst possible news.
But, then, Connor, cupping the small box in his palm, knelt down onto one knee. He looked up at you, brown eyes bright in the sunlight, android skin white as freshly fallen slow, failing to conceal the crease in his brow as worry sank in. The box opened, but you were too focused on his face to bother looking inside.
"Will you marry me?"
You could have laughed, at yourself, really, for thinking he was going to talk to you about Reaves, about factory-resetting computer chips, and the potential downfall of androids.
Instead, you let out a choked gasp. It was pathetically wet and embarrassingly loud. It all came pouring out before you could even think to stop it. Connor's nervous expression melted into panic when you started crying hysterically.
He was shifting to stand up, an apology hot on his tongue. He could feel his processors heating up, threatening to lock up at the sight of your tear-soaked face. It had his internal processes soaring, questioning if he had misinterpreted your relationship, your feelings for him.
You flung yourself into him before he could stand up, knocking the jewelry box right out of his hand. It clattered noisily on the bridge. If Connor was human, he would have followed; but, he was sturdy and, even unprepared, managed to stay upright as you crashed into him. His knees hit the bridge and his hands cautiously cupped your back.
"Yes!" you cried out, pressing your cheek into his coat, some odd centimeters from his thirium pump.
Your arms squeezed at his back, hands clawing into the thick fabric of his coat. Connor was unmoving, stiff where you clung to him. The artificial movements he made to appear more human had ceased, and you briefly feared he had powered down.
"Yes," you declared again, softer this time, squeezing him even tighter.
Finally, his systems relented and he properly relayed to his processor what you had just said. His arms wound around your back and, for the first time in weeks, Connor hugged you tightly, as if he wasn't afraid that he might hurt you. You could feel the tightening of his fingers tugging at your blouse, the thirium pump in perfect beats inside his chassis.
"Yes," you said again.
His cheek fell against your hairline and he closed his eyes. He wanted to dig his fingers past the fabric of your clothes, to feel your skin in a hopeless attempt to interface. Even if he could only reach your body, even if your mind was out of reach, that was good enough.
"Yes," again.
For now, the ring laid forgotten in its case, the jewelry box sitting some odd feet away, flipped on its side.
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realcube · 4 years
Text
haikyuu!! boys when you come out to them as bisexual  🏳️‍🌈
characters: yamaguchi, tsukishima & kenma
part two!!
tw// fem!reader, fluff, coming out, 
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Tadashi Yamaguchi
ok so hot-take but i think yamaguchi is straight
(or maybe bi but with a heavy preference for females)
but rn he identifies as straight 
but like..he’s so supportive of the lgbtq+ community
like tsukishima gives off ‘gay but homophobic’ energy
but yamaguchi has ‘straight but a strong ally’ energy
and this is hugely bc while tsukishima fell down the alt-right pipeline, yamaguchi was going through that ‘women 😍🤩💕’  phase which i think every WLW has went through at one point
like while tsukishima was watching ‘sjw get rekt compliation #125′ , yamaguchi was watching those heart-wrenching lgbtq+ short films on youtube 
and on tiktok his fyp was probably originally cottagecore (bc it’s his ideal lifestyle ofc) and somehow he is now kinda on sapphic cottagecore tiktok 
like not to fetishize them or anything, just bc he’s awed by how in love they are and that’s kinda what he wants for himself
(also he uses them as date inspo for you and him DFBZVAYUL)
anyway this was just my lengthened explanation as to why - unbeknownst to you or anyone - he was an ally to the lgbtq+ community (if not apart of it)
you didn’t really expect him to be disgusted or unsupportive of it tbh - i mean, it’s tadashi ffs! 💞 you know he’d never break up with you or judge you for something like that, but that didn’t stop you from being slightly nervous
but he was ten times more nervous when you texted him, asking for him to meet you by the local park’s fountain bc you had something important to tell him
mans thought you were dying ngl
he almost burst out crying on the walk to the park bc he imagined a whole scenario where he was sitting next to your fkn death-bed 
but you seemed healthy enough so his next assumption was that you were going to break-up with him
so when he approached you by the water fountain and you noticed that his eyes were glossy and his hair was damp with sweat, you were quite worried for him now
‘tadashi! are you okay?! your eyes are all puffy and red! do you have hay fever?’
yamaguchi rapidly shook his head, hastily escorting you to a nearby park bench so you could sit down beside him, ‘it’s nothing; what is it that you want to tell me?’
‘oh’ you choked, quickly averting your gaze from his kind, damp eyes. ‘it’s- um, i don’t-’ you cut yourself off, mentally cursing at yourself as you had practised what you were going to say to him hundreds of times before he arrived yet you still couldn’t stammer it out
yamaguchi was hanging on each word you uttered, but once he noticed that you were struggling, he placed his hands upon yours and shot you a reassuring smile
you let out a sigh in hopes to relieve your nerves while rehearsing what you were gonna say one more time in your head before blurting it out,
‘babe, erm, i’ve been questioning for a while and i’ve concluded that i’m bi - as in bisexual; and i just thought i’d tell you bec--’
you genuinely thought that you might have to explain to yamaguchi what bisexual means so IMAGINE your surprise when he simply replies, ‘you’re bisexual? is that all you wanted to tell me?’ and once you hum in agreement, he lets out a heave of euphoric relief
‘(y/n), please don’t make fun of me but on the way here, i was almost gonna cry because i thought you were going to tell me something horrible.’ he clutched his chest, breathing heavily - usually he’d never admit to something like that but right now, he felt that it was appropriate
you snickered at his rather exaggerated actions, ‘awh, baby. i’m sorry.’ a pout formed on your lips as you soothingly rubbed his back.
yamaguchi rapidly shook his head before turning the tables and rubbing your back instead, ‘nonono, it’s fine! i’m fine!- and i’m glad you’re fine too.’ he stumbled, hastily placing a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear, ‘i’m so proud of you. congratulations!’
although you couldn’t see his face, you could tell from his light voice that he was beaming 
after that, he buried his nose into the crook of you neck and snaked his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug, which you both stayed in for a good 5 minutes
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Kei Tsukishima
let’s be honest, tsukki’s definitely part of the lgbtq+ community but in deep denial
like if you ask him, he’s not even questioning his gender or sexuality, he’s just ✨straight ✨
so when you just randomly joked one day ‘oi, four-eyes, turn this shit off. she’s too much for my lil’ bi heart to handle.’ while y’all were watching a movie and you instinctively made an off-hand comment about how gorgeous the female lead was 
upon realising what you just said, you turned to him with the most awkward grin plastered on your face, ‘tsukki, i’m bisexual, by the way.’
‘no shit, sherlock.’ he hissed at your use of that little nickname 
you turned your head to look at him as you blinked rapidly, finally  mentally processing his response 
while he did the exact same thing simultaneously, dramatically turning his head to meet your gaze before muttering, ‘was that you coming out?’
your eyes widened as you realised, then nodded slowly
tsukishima smirked, shifting his attention back onto the movie, ‘congrats.’ he spoke in a mellow voice, a slight sense of amiability laced into his tone 
‘thanks-’
‘have you told your parents yet?’ he quirked a brow, his eyes remaining glued to the screen
you hesitated before shaking your head, ‘no.’ 
‘what about your friends?’
‘yeah, i came out to my friend group a few months ago - along with yamaguchi.’
tsukishima couldn’t help but frown at the fact you came out to yamaguchi before him but honestly, he couldn’t blame you - he was aware that his bitchy exterior probably discouraged you from telling him sooner, so he was just glad that you had the confidence to tell him eventually  
‘so how long have you known that you’re, like, y’know, bi?’  he inquired further
‘a while.’ you hummed, biting your bottom lip, internally so relieved that he wasn’t being too awkward or weird about it
‘good for you.’ he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, not a hint of sarcasm or irony detected in his voice for a change, ‘oh, and good luck with coming out to your parents’
‘thank you.’ you murmur, happily shifting your attention back onto the movie
 tsukishima honestly doesn’t mind/care tbh
like he’s supportive and will beat a bitch up if they don’t accept you - but in general, he thinks that it’s none of his business who you love
as long as it is him (ಥ _ ಥ) 
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Kenma Kuzome
ok so fun story 
you were both chilling in his room on a saturday, he was playing on his nintendo switch as always and you were on your phone
you had been meaning to come out to him for a while now but every time you tried, it seemed as though something happened to prevent you from doing so 
for example, you tried to come out to him while y’all were chilling at the park but then a bunch of geese started terrorizing y’all and it completely ruined the mood
so you thought that now you were in his room - where there was less of an abundance of geese - it’d be a better time than any to just lift the burden that had been weighing on your chest
you were as nervous as any one would be but you kept on trying to reassure yourself that kenma would be supportive 
however, he had never discussed any lgbtq+ related issues with you so you had no idea where he stood with that sort of stuff but tbh, he doesn’t give off homophobic vibes 
after a while of staring at the wall and working up the courage, you finally spoke up, ‘hey, kenma. i think i might be bi.’
you mentally cursed at yourself as you didn’t ‘think’ that you are bi but rather you knew that you are bi, yet you felt the need to add that filler just in case things went sour
he perked up upon hearing this and turned to look at you, a small smile gracing his lips, ‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’ 
you couldn’t help but beam back at him, ‘thanks, babe.’ you almost whispered, gladly going back to whatever you were doing on your phone
honestly, you were happy to leave the interaction at that - i mean, his brief and calm response was satisfying beyond expected, as it was probably the least awkward way that could’ve possibly gone down
however, what happened next filled you with endless amounts of euphoria 
‘oh, and (y/n).’ kenma said to grab your attention, ‘i’m bisexual.’
you did a double-take 
your instincts told you to throw yourself into his arms and rave on about how proud you are that he had the courage to come out but after a moment of reflection, you had a better idea
‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’
kenma automatically pouted at how you used his own words against him when he was clearly expecting a hug, ‘(y/n)..’ he whined lowly, shifting his gaze back onto his game
but you were weak so ofc you pulled him into a hug as you both muttered sweet, reassuring things into each other’s ears
‘i love you so much, (y/n) no matter what.’
‘i know.’ you snickered.
‘bitch-’
‘i love you too. and i’m so proud of you for coming out - you’re so brave.’
‘aw, thanks. so are you, babe.’
‘i know’
kenma playfully nibbled at your neck for being such a clown during a sentimental moment
but anyway, you helped kenma come out so- yeah :))
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animeyanderelover · 3 years
Note
Whoo, requests are open! Can I get Azusa Mukami, Ash Launders, Lau, and Grell Sutcliff with a darling who's a ghost, or something akin to one? Thank you, please take your time with this and remember to take breaks when you need to!
I recently talked about this with my friend, but both of us are amazed with how popular Ash actually is. He suddenly became so beloved in here. Not that I complain😏.
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, self-harming behavior, kidnapping, killing
Ghost s/o
Grell Sutcliff
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🟥Grell is a grim reaper and for that probably met ghosts quite a few times ago. Ghosts are souls from people who didn’t find peace yet and whilst humans can’t see ghosts most of the time, other supernatural creatures can. Grell feels sometimes a bit sorry for ghosts whose souls are tight to this world until whatever doesn’t allow them to Rest In Peace is solved. There are exceptions though, it isn’t unheard that even after the issue was solved, ghosts decided to stay, mainly because they started enjoying life as an undead once again. So at one point such examples were counted in the supernatural community as well.
🟥If her darling should be a pure ghost, it depends on whether they still try to find a way out of this world or are one of those who decided to live forever as a ghost. If it’s the first one, she would definitely try to make her darling enjoy life once again since she doesn’t want them to leave. She wants to give them happiness once again and would try about everything to make them feel joy again. If it’s the latter case, she would switch from a worried mother mode in a totally fascinated one. She did meet ghosts before, but normally they are more of loners since they grief over whatever they couldn’t finish during life. So having a darling as ghost makes her more interested since ghosts aren’t that known to other magical beings.
🟥Hopefully you know how to manifest yourself or else Grell will get really pouty since she’s clingy. A ghost can learn to materialize their body so others can touch them even though that takes practice. Girl loves you just very much to the extent where she often wants to jump on you and tackle you in a hug after a boring day of work...which ends with her being met with the ground of you don’t know how to control it or did it on purpose. It also tends to scare her a bit if you suddenly pop somewhere up without her knowing since you can just walk through objects. There was this one time where you were looking for her, ending with your head popping up through the ground right in front of her. And Grell might be able to handle, blood, zombies and other gore stuff, but not this. It ended with her screaming startled.
🟥If you’re not dead, but just possess the possibilities of a ghost, the whole walking through walls and turning invisible stuff, you’re most likely a hybrid because believe it or not, in materialized form ghosts can create or bear children too. And half breeds have been since the earliest days always been a more risky topic. Many creatures are still lacking the openness to accept persons from two different kinds since many are still in the classic belief that only the same species should have children together. It leads her to being more overprotective over you since she doesn’t want you to endure hatred and racism from others. She’s fiercely overprotective in that regard.
Lau
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🚢He has a weird fascination with such things, at least in my opinion. He might only be human, but he has awareness of the more otherworldly creatures on this planet and his assistant, Ran Mao, herself appears to be some sort of superhuman as well. He has probably heard a lot of ghost stories before, either from his own country or here, in England. And he is somewhat good in telling when a story was just made up so the person could suddenly gain attention or if there is a spark of truth in it. He has a nose for stuff like this and actually likes listening to such stories.
🚢So expect his obsession to very quickly grow if his darling should be a ghost even though he would hold himself back if they are unhappy due to their unfinished business. He is manipulative and is also, despite being good in hiding it from his darling, very greedy and mercenary. He might not show it, but he has every intention to make his darling stay with him, even if that means ensuring that whatever they need to do in this world will never be finished. If you are that kind of ghost who’s happy with their new life, he would be much more open with his curiosity, expressing his interest in your abilities and also backstory. Especially if you should be a lot more older than your appearance gives away, he would be keen on your story. If it should happen that you were murdered and the killer is still alive, that guy will join your kind maybe very soon if they have regrets in their life.
🚢He’s also interested in how your anatomy works since he’s an expert in it. He of course wouldn’t use you like some test subject, but he is just kind of interested how you are able to turn your whole body in one moment in something thinner than air and in the next moment into something that appears to be flesh and blood again. He also kind of likes it to touch through you since your transparent body has a certain coldness around it which gives him goosebumps. It’s a great contrast to when you have materialized and are in possession of a warm body which leads him to being even more touchy than usual. Lau finds it also always very amusing whenever you suddenly appear out of thin air, your abilities are such a breath of fresh air for him. He tends to be a bit surprised, but is good in hiding it with his usual mysterious smile.
🚢He can only guess that a half-ghost like you are one isn’t very beloved in this world. Lau of course doesn’t think you, he finds it highly interesting that you are a mix from two different species, he never thought ghosts could actually create babies. If there’s the possibility, he would like to meet your parents and talk with them, especially the parent who’s the ghost. It kind of leads him to wanting to isolate you a bit since he doesn’t want some other creature trying to kill you since different from a normal ghost you can get hurt by weapons and die like a normal human even though it’s harder to do.
Ash Landers
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▫️Whilst he definitely is informed about all the other magical beings existing in this world, he stays away from pretty much everyone, even his own kind. Ash is just embossed from his obsession with purity and doesn’t think of anyone as really worth living since everyone is tainted by greed, lust, sloth and other unspeakable sins. He even hates his own kind since many angels protect the exact lowlife he wants to get rid off, believing that every life deserves living and given a chance. He is somewhat alone with his crazy goals, but he doesn’t mind.
▫️I think Ash with a ghost darling isn’t a very good mix, a horrible if I’m being honest. For the simple reason that you already died and merely your soul remains on this planet, either because of your own free will or because you carry a burden with you. You’re dead. That should say everything to why Ash is experiencing the true deepness of madness and terror someone could never possibly begin to imagine. He failed, he pathetically and utterly failed to protect the only person who actually deserved a happy and good life. It makes his whole life shatter, next to his already screwed up sanity. It does not matter if you were killed, died in an accident or because of a deadly sickness. The village you lived in will be blamed and slaughtered by him.
▫️He’s horrible to act with this because I have this terrible thought that he will not only not allow you to leave, but also desperately try to search for ways to somehow get your soul back into your body or will find a vessel in which you can live. He does not care if you want it or not, he doesn’t even really care if you’re happy or not. Dead is dead and he wants you alive. He would get incredibly prone and torn apart if you yell and cry at him that you don’t want it, that you want to die finally in peace or like being a ghost. You just don’t understand!! HE HAS TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALIVE AGAIN!!!
▫️With you being only something akin to a ghost, a hybrid in here, the situation would still be very tangled, but a bit less than with you being an actual ghost. I see Ash as someone who usually despises hybrids, but you are made the only exception from this. It isn’t worth saying that he isolates you since he would do this in all scenarios, even though he also does it in here due to fearing that someone might talk down to you because of your unidentified species. He kind of thinks he’s the only one who can truly cherish you for your whole beauty. You might have an advantage since you can just sneak past him whilst invisible, question is if you’re heartless enough to let innocents suffer under this because Ash can and will burn whole cities down if it leads him to getting you back.
Azusa Mukami
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🔪I don’t think he ever met ghosts or other otherworldly creatures before even though he lived a pretty long life. It stands even open to question if he is aware of the existence such other creatures. Whilst he does know that vampires exist, he himself is a half-blooded one, he is not really too informed about other creatures and might even not really cared about it anyways before meeting his s/o. His brothers on the other hand considered the fact of other magical beings on this planet.
🔪He is saddened that you are already dead, it doesn’t matter since how long you’ve already been. It’s still very upsetting for him, especially if you should be mourning over something you couldn’t do in your life as well. I do see him as someone who might actually possess the selflessness to let you go if you’re really desperate despite knowing he’ll die without you. So it’s up to his brothers to find ways to bind you to this earth because they’re scared what Azusa will do if you should ever disappear and leave him alone for eternity. With a darling who likes their current body and is satisfied with themselves, Azusa will be happy as well and be in love with you and your fascinating powers.
🔪But please let him touch you. He is clingy and likes having physical contact with you and if you aren’t able to manifest yourself and hurt him, he will become overtime more desperate. His brother also realize the problem with you being able to escape anytime you want from them except if you make this place your new place to haunt for eternity which all of them hope. Whilst he does like feeling your actual warmth and body, he still finds your ghostly form appearing, the feeling of cold and lingering touches everywhere and yet nowhere at the same time. I do not know if ghosts possess blood or anything like this, I doubt it. So that means at least you don’t have to worry about him eventually giving in to temptation.
🔪He will never be able to understand if someone should dislike his s/o if they should be somewhat of a half breed. As I mentioned, I don’t think he really cared much about the possibility of other beings existing and certainly not a mix made from more than one species. It does add up to his worshipper tendencies since apparently people like you are not very common. He thinks you’re wonderful. As a half-ghost you might have blood inside of you, if it’s from a human is another thing to discuss. But Azusa is from all vampires the one who wouldn’t want to suck your blood, even if it drives him crazy. And even if his brothers try to force him, you can abandon your materialized form anytime for your ghost body. You give Azusa’s brothers honestly a bit of a hard time with your abilities, it’s mocking for them in a way.
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lilkermit14 · 3 years
Text
Lavender & Mint
Fem!reader x Pero Tovar 
Synposis: In the conventional village of Cullfield lived an unconventional woman who served as an apothecary for the townsfolk. Stubborn and set in her ways, the woman of three tens remains unmarried and childless and plans to continue as such for the rest of her life, much to the horror and confusion of the village. But this unconventional woman has some surprises in store for her when an unconventional man named Pero Tovar rides into town, an event that will change both her and his plans forever—and may flip Cullfield upside down too.
Notes: Idk why I kept mentioning poop complications this chapter but I’m sorry and enjoy. It’s been a while but the CHAPTER is here. Please reblog!!!!
General Warnings: minor injuries, slow-burn, eventual smut, blood, childbirth
For this chapter: Non-sexual references to poop, mention pregnancy, murder, implicit brief reference to infanticide or child abandonment, pre-marital pregnancy and it’s complications in the 1400s, religious “morals”. 
Chapter 5: Garlic 
Last chapter // Next chapter
“When was the last time you passed bowels, Mister Ashdown?” you inquire, pressing on the old man’s stomach knowing you have found the root cause of his stomach issues. He blinks for a moment thinking as he lays on your observation table, before telling you, “quite some time I’m afraid.”
“I see,” you move your hands away putting your hands on your hips, “well, it seems that you just have a case of constipation––burdensome but not something hard to fix or that will have you laying on your deathbed.”
“You sure?” he asks, almost confused, moving to rise up from the table by himself only for you to come to his assistance. You clarify yourself, “Yes, you have many signs that point to it. It can be caused by a lack of competitive foods in your diet and is more likely with old age.”
“I’m not that old,” He interjects, but you compete, “Yes, but you're old enough for a blockage sir––you’ll be glad to know you’ll live to be truly old as long the burden is treated.”
He huffs now in a sitting position with legs dangling from the table, “so what do you have so i’ll shit.”
You huff at his language, “standard garlic will help move the process along, and I’m suggesting you make sure to eat more greens and berries to clear your system.”
You always assumed that you were let free to discuss any matters with your patients when they were the only ones in the shop, as no one else resided in your residence besides you. But that arrangement had changed and you were not the only one that resided in your home, “If my cock and bowels stop working just have someone put me out of my misery.”
You turn rigid and scandalized to see the face of Pero Tovar standing in your back entrance of the shop—entered unbeknownst to you through quiet steps and a lack of clear view. Mister Ashdown has no qualms defending himself, “I’m only five tens and if my cock doesn’t work how is my wife pregnant?”
You want to scream having to hear this conversation and did certainly not want to be reminded of the conversations you were subjected to by Farrah Ashdown. When the woman at four tens and five found out she was pregnant she spared no expense in telling you how it happened. You opted to rush him along before you could get his account of what he does with his wife, “okay sir here’s your supply get going now.”
“Enjoy the shit,” you hear Pero say and before mister ashdown can respond he is out your door. You turn to Pero fury and rage evident on your face as you are prepared to let the flames of hell loose on him. All he has is a stupid look on his face as he lets out the word, “what?”
“You bastard,” you begin pointing your finger at him moving towards him with menace in your voice towards a man that stands unbothered, “you do not talk to ANY of my clients in such manner especially in my shop.”
“Why is that hermosa? I would be rude to that man outside of your business, what makes your apothecary different?” He queries again with that name, only increasing your anger and distaste for him at the moment. With clenched teeth, you answer him, “I don’t care what you say to Mister Ashdown in town, but my shop is a place of respect––a place where anyone can come for health problems even if they are embarrassing. I want people to know they won’t be judged here because if they feel like they will be, they will come when it’s too late and I can’t do anything for them.”
Pero raises his brow at you, but lets you continue your rant uninterrupted, “When my mother was still alive, a young woman at ten and six came to us complaining of diarrhea, something she was embarrassed to talk about because it was gross and she did not want suitors to find out. Turns out she had sickness from a miasma––we took one look down the town well and discovered a deer had fallen in and died overnight.”
“That was lucky,” he comments, still invested in your story despite the vile nature of talking about excretion. You continue, “Yes, and we may not have caught it so soon if she didn’t come to us. The sickness is fast acting, in hours many more villagers could have been sick, but it was only her––and she lived.”
“Lived?” you smile at his question feeling pride at the healing powers your mom had and hope you live up to, “Yes, the sickness causes dehydration quickly but if you keep the person well hydrated and area clean to prevent reinfection––they will live. This summer she gave birth to her third child at my aid.”
“So their trust is important to you?” you give him a simple nod, glad he is understanding what you were asking of him. You turn to clean up the materials you had brought out to examine Mister Ashdown, not realizing that Pero was not done with questions, “Like how that woman came to you the other day crying in distress?”
You freeze––you had really thought the interest in Mariam had ended when William had first asked you about her the day after asking if she was okay. You nodded and told him it was just feminine needs and didn’t serve much interest in men, something that usually turned men away from asking questions. Well not Pero Tovar I guess, “Why was she crying?”
“It’s a complicated matt––”
“Things of safety are something I have to worry about you know,” He interjects, and you turn your head looking at him to see something serious cross his face, “I have to keep everyone in this village safe––you in particular hermosa––and I want to know if theres something you need to tell me.”
“Part of gaining trust is not telling personal information,” you counter, pulling together to formulate a lie, “It’s nothing of safety she was upset about something––she’s a friend of sorts to me.”
You can tell he doesn’t buy it––he can probably pull the full story together even though you doubt he’s heard a single thing about Mariam’s husband beating her––but he accepts, slouching and learning against a table in thought, “William and I may go for a short hunt––there's not much action in this town I’m afraid and we could use some fresh game.”
You nod, “If you catch any pigeon, I know how to handle it so it's not gamey.”
He huffs, “We're not very good hunters I’m afraid, so you’ll probably only get that or rabbit.”
–––––––––––––––––––
Pero Tovar had useful traits to him––like getting you pigeons––but he was mostly an annoyance. His mere presence always had you on edge, as you waited for something, something from him. It was usually something he said but if not it was his scent or stench rather of pine and something that was him. It was also his sloppy manner, the way he seemed raised with no table manners as he ate all your meals. He spoiled Mite, petting him and feeding him table scraps much to your despair. He was also too loud, his boots filling up the cottage and shop with noise, something that never usually happened.
You lent some time today to make more bread for the household, settling at your dining table and working the necessary ingredients for dough together. Mite lays in the corner, not doing his job as per usual and watching you with some sort of interest in the mannerisms of bread making, but he was likely just hoping for more food in the future. Kneading dough you begin to imagine the dough is Pero kneading your frustration into it. You press and it is his stupid broad shoulders that take up too much space. You pull, it’s the curls on the nape of his neck that are too unruly and untidy. You slam it down, it’s that stupid smile that appears on his face when you have entertained him. God you hate Pero Tovar.
“You may want to stop before you overwork the dough sweetheart,” You stop and see Mildred Becker staring at you with an amused look on her face. You huff Jesus, what does she want, “Sorry for my state, I didn’t hear you enter.”
“Don’t worry I understand too well––I always work out my anger into the dough,” you chuckle a little thinking about how a woman with too many children works out anger the same way as you––you definitely hate Pero Tovar, “I just stopped by because I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”
You perk up, “Is Cateline suffering from baby blues again.”
“No, No thank the lord––we’ve been watching over her better this time,” Mildred rounds off, and you remember despite the grievances she gives you, she is a good mother to her children. She was the first to notice that something was wrong with her daughter after the birth and came to you to talk about it. From there Cateline was able to recover and enjoy motherhood, “Something with your house guest Pero Tovar has come to my attention.”
“What did he do,” You ask, prepared to beat Pero Tovar with your broom, but Mildred settles you, “nothing he did, just something someone is doing around him.”
You raise your brow at her beckoning her to continue, “You know Stanislava Rolfe?”
“Of course,” you affirm, surprised she is asking you such a question when you have treated everyone in Cullfield five times over. Mildred continues, “Yes well, She has begun to work at the Inn as a barmaid––she did well with charming Balthasar I guess.”
You were wondering why a poor farmer's daughter’s career path interested you, but you didn’t interject, “I happened to take a quick ale there with my husband, when I noticed something with her and Pero Tovar. You see she appeared extra flirtatious with him––and although barmaids usually are flirty with men in hopes for extra coin, it was more intentional.”
You frown, how could such a beautiful young girl be interested in such a disgusting brute, “Why is she interested in him?”
“Who knows? Many of the girls around Cullfield were excited to see unfamiliar battle-hardened men I supposed,” She ponders for a moment, “all we do know is that she is likely interested in him.”
“I don’t think he is interested in taking a wife,” You contest, brushing aside that Pero would have feelings for the young girl of two tens. Mildred just gives you a hardened stare, “He doesn’t have to be interested in matrimony to want something from her.”
Oh
“Was he showing interest back?” you dig trying to figure out the full extent of what you are formulating must be a whirlwind romance. Mildred hums, “no I suppose not, but sometimes men take persistent interest as a way to have a good time.”
You bite your lip remembering that Pero did not fornicate with prostitutes but barmaids, and feel a ball of ache and pain in your stomach at the thought. Mildred instates, “I came to you about this because I want you to try to stop it.”
“Stop it?”
“Yes, make it clear he is to not have such guests,” Mildred explains, and you can tell by her tone and expression you are in for some sort of story, “You know well enough that things go arigh when an unmarried woman gets pregnant, right.”
“Of course,” you remember the chaos that erupted in families when one of their daughters ended up pregnant, and the hasty weddings that came from it. But Mildred had a different story, “although most of the time it gets swept under the rug with a quick marriage and everyone just chooses to ignore it––horrid things can happen when there's not one.”
Mildred sits down at the nearby table, in clear thought of something dark and you go to sit down at a nearby chair, “When I was about ten and eight, and old enough to understand these things, a girl was taken advantage of by a soldier in our village. She was ten and six, and him far older so he should have had the wisdom not to mess with her. What mattered was after it happened, he left with his troop and was never seen in my home village again. She got pregnant, and tried to hide it at first––her mom was dead and she had no older sisters or aunts to go to, so she was afraid to go to her father. When it became too obvious, hate inspired awful things in the leaders of the village, and by the time she gave birth it accumulated.”
Mildred takes a moment to pause, emotions brewing inside her and you feel yourself frozen in place, “she tried to talk to them, pleading, saying he pressured her––persuaded her, but they all pointed and said witch and condemned her son too. She was burn’t at the stake, and her son––well he was never seen again.”
A pause fills the air as you sit in shock, digesting what Mildred has told you, “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
Mildred huffs, “I’m sorry too, I made sure to get a husband that would get me out of that village and landed a good one on the way––I had seen what that village did to women and children for the sake of moral value and did not intend to stay so my daughters could see too. Adultery is a two person crime that only one party, the feminine one, receives punishment for.”
“So that's why Pero and Stanislava are of such concern to you?” You assume, and Mildred nods, “Although I think Cullfield is of better standing, I don’t desire to find out what they would do if such a case erupted. The girl may be doing this because she intends to capture a man with a better job, but mercenaries rest for a few women and not those of ten and eight.”
“I can understand her intentions I suppose,” you contemplate, believing that she doesn’t hold much true interest in him, but for a better life. Mildred hums, “so is there a chance you can talk to Pero about it?”
“I already established that he is to not bring guests into my home, and I doubt they would find a secluded enough place otherwise,” you reassure, standing up, “I can even remind him today if you would like.”
“That would be good,” Mildred agrees, joining you in standing and allowing you to guide her to the door, “be on the lookout too if you see her come preying––even though he lacks true interest.”
“I will,” you say, and somewhere in your heart you feel prepared to beat Stanislava Rolfe with your broom instead of Pero.
________________
Gardening was no easy task but it was the most necessary task the runner of an apothecary and a household had. Today your tending to crops was more focused on your food supply rather than collecting the necessary ingredients to keep your shop running. You're pleased to see that the last of your harvest grew well, and know that your winter stock will last even with your house guest. You had already pulled out all the carrots, and beets, and had shucked the vines wounding your house of beans and brussel sprouts. You were now left to work at the tough vines of the gourds and squash, planning on leaving the single pumpkin for Pero to handle––who should be on his way home from helping Balthasar with something at his inn.
Standing up with the final gourd in hand––you see something that fills you with immediate displeasure and sickens you to your core. Pero is walking up to your house pursued by Stanislava. You don’t quite know why you feel this angry at him; maybe it’s because you gave him explicit reminders on conduct or maybe––something else. Seeing the near, and well hearing Stanislava, you attempt to think fast to try to get her to leave. Greeting them both in an unnatural kind manner, “Pero, Stanislava, greetings.”
Pero gives you an immediate strange look while his shadow is oblivious and greets you back, “I was just telling Pero this wonderful stor––”
“Oh I must ask how is your rash healing up,” You feel like clapping your hands over your lips the moment the words fly out of your mouth. Stanislava stops in her tracks staring at you blankly, “what?”
“The one I gave you the ointment for––on your groin,” Oh my God what were you doing.
Stanislava turns bright red, “Good thank you––I––I have things to tend to at home, good evening you two.”
Stanislava hurries off, and an amused smile erupts on Pero’s face, “thank you for finally scaring that crow off––she’s been yapping my ear off with nonsense for weeks––I guess you're my scarecrow.”
“Excuse me?” scarecrow, you were going to kill this man. He smiles, a genuine smile, “Yes you scared off my crow––like a scarecrow would. Plus you're covered in leaves right now.”
“Do not call me that”
“Fine mi espantapájaros”
“I swear I’ll smother you in your sleep”
“Is that a true promise for you? Like how you promised not to tell customers private information yet just shouted about the crow’s crotch rash,” at that your body works on it’s own, taking the gourd in your hand and flinging it at Pero’s chest. It was a magnificent shot, and caused the vegetable to break and splatter it’s internal organs onto Pero’s chest and neck. Pero steps back from the impact and looks down on the goop he’s now covered in, “Now, no good espantapájaros does that.”
You press your palm to your face, “Just cut the pumpkin for me and bring it inside, you could use a good bath anyway, your stench is disgusting.”
“I do not smell,” he retorts, and you ignore him, bringing inside your harvest. You really do hate Pero Tovar.
----------------------
Apothecary’s feelings––hate or nah yall?
Garlic is use to treat a lot of ailments in Arab traditional medicine, including  heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, toothache, infections, and––as seen in this fic––constipation. Listen, I know the constipation part is true because I ate a pesto made with raw garlic and LORD did I shit. Anything else, not quite sure but hey worth a shot if you are desperate. 
It is also seen as an immune booster for colds and coughs––in fact if you are congested from a cold putting a clove of garlic in each nostril can clear that shit OUT.  
Garlic is also believed to help asthma symptoms. IDK if it actually is true but that’d be iconic because my mom loves garlic and she has asthma. 
Garlic is my favorite seasoning. I put it in my soup. I put it in my eggs. I put it in my ramen. I put it in my burgers. I put it in my cooch––
taglist:
@poenariuniverse @harleyamidala @yespolkadotkitty @storiesofthefandomlovers @babybelou @legally-a-bastard @computeringturtle @clydesducktape @sixties-loser @buckysalefty @april-14-blog @prettylittlegoldfish @softpedropascal @maybege
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nyx-stories-unknown · 2 years
Text
Hermitcraft Angst - Etho
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(TW - Depression, Implied Disordered Eating, Implied Self Harm)
No one knew exactly why Etho hadn’t joined the other Hermits on Season 9, not even his closest friends.
Etho told them all different versions of the same lie, he had something to do. He told some he had new redstone machine plans, others thought he was traveling the world. But none of that was true. Those were all lies.
All of those things required far too much energy. Energy Etho didn’t have.
Originally, Etho planned to use this break to recharge from last season. 
While he loved basing with Iskall, the constant interactions and activities were too much for Etho to handle. Then with the whole moon issue, that season was just too much.
There was a reason Etho preferred to base farther away from everyone, and why he didn’t interact with many people. Most thought it was because he was just anti-social. That was part of it, his social anxiety caused him to be anti-social, but not the full reason.
Etho had depression.
Not many knew that either, he preferred not to tell people. He didn’t want anyone to treat him differently because of it. He could take care of himself after all. He always did.
So he took a break from Hermitcraft. A chance to recharge his social battery and creative battery, and to just get away from people for a bit.
It was supposed to help.
Instead, it had the opposite effect.
Now, waking up in the morning takes too much energy. It became more difficult to take care of himself. The lack of energy felt like a chain around his neck, constantly dragging him down. His heart became a weight in his chest, adding to the crippling weight. By the time he was dressed for the day, he was ready to go back to bed and sleep the day away. But that’s just if he was lucky enough to fall asleep.
On top of this, he had to balance his reputation with the fans and the Hermits. Had to respond to messages about what he was doing, making up more lies about all the progress he’d done. Lies about all the things he’d do once he got back. Fake base and season plans, fake plans for new machines.
Slowly, his energy was gone entirely. 
Three daily meals turned to three a week, and that’s if he was lucky. Weekly showers disappeared, and so did brushing his teeth. He completely stopped drinking water, only managing a few sips from the sink on the rare bathroom trip. Soon after he stopped replying to messages, his communicator died and he didn’t care enough to charge it. 
Days were spent curled up in bed, crying as nails dug into his skin in the hope to stop the thoughts in his head. The thoughts that screamed at him about how he was a burden, how he was useless and no one cared about him. Of course, the thoughts were right. They always were.
Now, Etho spent three months living like this. 
Arms aching and caked in blood, stomach twisting from lack of food, head pounding from the lack of care and his body was heavier than ever despite the fact he was nothing but skin and bones.
Today, Etho woke up not feeling sad for once. Sure, his body was killing him, but he was strangely happy. But he knew what that meant. It didn’t mean that he could go back to his friends, go back to his life before. 
This was his last hoorah. 
His last day. 
His body finally decided it had enough.
And if he was being honest, he had enough too.
Had enough of the punishing thoughts, of feeling the blood beneath his nails, of the terrible weight of trying to stay alive.
As his heart began to slow, the weight getting lighter, his head was filled with those happy memories. Times of Mindcrack and the nHo, with the Hermits and his friends from other servers. The good old days.
A smile graced his lips as he let out one final breath.
…not feeling the hands that shook him or hearing the voices that called for help…
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