#literally cure my disease..
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"If death is come to Alagadda, it will remain on his terms only."
#two out of three! well ... four but we don't talk about em#YAY I DID IT MY VISION OF THIS PHRASE YIPPEE#god he's so bad but I like this design I CANNOT for the love of me imagine him differently#artist on tumblr#artists on tumblr#original art#digital art#scp fanart#scp#scp foundation#yellow lord#alagadda#bad joke time because I literally was listening to the same goshdarned song while I was drawing him#not only I am pissed off about the hat but also this song too it was lady gaga's disease#it is the worst like “I can cure your disease”? NO babe YOU'RE the disease and you're giving me full 40C fever#-wa wait what the FUck did I just said#going to sleep now byeeee
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Honestly it annoys me that pride, ambition, and generally having a big ego are always villainous/evil-coded personality traits because personally I think if you genuinely are a prodigy at what you do you are 100% within your rights, perhaps even deserving, of flaunting your skills and being proud of the fact you can do something that only a small fraction of other people can do. Is it even ego at that point if you genuinely are as good at your field/skill as you say you are? Are people not aware that becoming a prodigy at something is something that takes lifelong sacrifice and practice sometimes to the point of giving up on having a normal life, relationships, etc even potentially destroying your own health???? God I fucking hate how pride in your own skills and ambition are so villain coded all the time. As if it's evil to want to be good at something and be recognized for what you rightfully earned
#squiggposting#this is part of why i like pharma obviously lol but it's happened to me w#other blorbos ive had in the past#bc like full offense if you're capable of doing something like partially inventing the cures to 5 different terminal diseases#in only a few months/a year of research. or if you can do an organ donation and replacement surgery#with yourself as one of the donors. you literally ARE the best doctor who has ever lived#and you DESERVE to flaunt it bc. what fucking achievement is higher than that???#some feats demand recognition in my opinion. maybe it's just bc I've always been competitive#and from a young age enjoyed a (relative) degree of fame for being really good at certain things#ive always enjoyed being an object of awe bc bitch i spent my whole life working to be this good#do i hold it over ppl or treat them badly for not being as good as me? i admit i used to but i grew out of it#but the ego? certainly not. i think if you're good at something you should own it#i think if you're a prodigy and put your skills into doing good work youve earned your fame and recognition#this expectation of false humility we have is sooooo annoying#ohhhh boo hoo pharma is a little bit of an annoying asshole about being a better doctor than ratchet#the cures he helped design will save literal thousands of lives from now until the rest of time#but somehow the way he FEELS about it is more important than the CONCRETE POSITIVE GAIN he put into the universe?#and also in general i hate it when ppl assume that pride/ego and being kind towards others are mutually exclusive#in general i feel like i could write an essay about how self vs others is treated as a dichotomy#where it's assumed that in order to uplift others you have to self efface and diminish yourself#or if you flaunt yourself it automatically means you're putting down others. it's not true.#video essay topic for later lol
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if you think either silco or viktor are the villains of arcane, get your privileged ass out of here
#like wtf#how is someone wanting independace#and someone wanting to cure disease#evil?? or bad??#its so tiring wtf#“there were better ways” available to them?#to the undercity?#be so f fr#as someone that 100% gets were the whole of zaun is coming from#kindly fuck off#the “villains” are the cops and the privileged#the council#ambessa#caitlyn#not the literal underdogs who are dying and starving#this isnt a show#this is real life#that shit happens#all the time#ive seen it with my own eyes since i was a kid#its not even critical thinking anymore#its literal “wake the fuck up” cause if you cant see that then you are part of the problem#i hate anti-intellectualism#this is such a privileged take its beyond me#s2 lost the plot a little but it's still pretty obvious#arcane#arcane s2#arcane viktor#arcane silco#zaun
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okay nvm his smile in this cured my nerve pain
#tbd#// this man literally would cure my osteoporosis. my diseases & my poor posture#// hes a miracle healer guys idk how he does it#( 💀 ) ⸻ behind the scenes : mun .
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arcane brain rot so bad that when I was attending a webinar on BPD and PTSD for my master's program, as we were running through the DSM-5 criteria for BPD, all I could was "wow that sounds a lot like jinx" somebody please put me out of my misery
#my current hyperfixation#guys there is no cure for my disease#i literally spent the entire webinar thinking about what would have happened if Jinx had access to some sort of healthcare#do they even have therapists in the undercity???#is there any sort of healthcare system aside from like... singed??#does silco's people have an insurance policy??#somebody save me from myself like the jellyroll song says#arcane
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does anyone else feel that the social model of disability is incredibly dismissive and really only applies to like...learning disabilities
#the social model of disability just reminds me of the fantasy model of did#where psychologists basically said yeah you're just imagining that#like sorry but literally all disabled people would still be disabled even if society were run by disabled people#i think it's a bullshit theory used only for identity politics#like it's a nice thought but i would still struggle with autism and adhd even if society were 100% accepting of those disabilities#i'm not even getting into my physical disabilities#like society isn't gonna cure my incurable disease sorry#autism#chronic illness
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Brb remembered I'm mentally ill as fuck and will never experience intimacy like everyone else
#i love crying whenever i try to imagine being intimate with my f/os because id just disappoint them or make them feel like theyre not enough#i love feeling like i have an incurable disease and not being able to experience one of the most basic things humanly possible#probably gonna be gone for a bit cuz this is really fucking me up and theres literally no cure for it
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I'm bored and can't sleep because of cramps so I decided to mess around with an incorrect quotes generator using the latest OCs @katkastrofa and I created that I unfortunately cannot talk about in detail here because I'd get nerfed in an instant:
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#idk how in character most of these are since we don't have too good a grasp on their personalities yet#they've literally existed for a day#but I tried my best and think most of them are rather fitting#the last one is easily my favourite lmao#you know. considering what this blog used to be five years ago...#does this count as going back to my roots?#(say it with me now. silt and murk giving birth to something beautiful)#(that being my friendship with kat <3)#'but nia you and kat already have 29 OCs of your own creation. 31 if you count the adopted ones and 34 if you count Midori's unnamed kids!'#'maybe you should slow your roll a little?? you're on track to having created 20 OCs this year alone and it's not even September!'#'most of them are never even gonna feature in a fic or anything but the convos you and kat have! why bother?'#because I'm mentally ill and my life is falling apart and the only thing that helps me function is what kat and I have#the multiverse of madness included#also I have chronic 'I'm gonna spin these little guys in my head for hours >:)' disease#and there's no cure#hope this helps :)#lmao idk what to talk about in these tags since idk how much I'm allowed to say#both because of the ban and because I'm not 18 yet#idk how much difference a month actually makes but eh. those rules aren't up to me unfortunately#it's 5 a.m I should go to bed#I need to get my sleep schedule at least semi normal before Monday#:(
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i love you lady gaga for saving my life
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jiaoqiu is a prime target for a future whump piece 😌 they were even kind enough to provide us with a doctor’s report detailing his injuries and ailments, symptoms and recovery plan And what attitude he’s presenting to the docs (lingsha iirc) (his healing process is slower than they anticipated i’d bet he’s been sneaking chili peppers into his diet despite being advised otherwise)
#genshin could never#jk but also. am i wrong? lol#injuries are shrugged off and diseases are miraculously cured#childe + narwhal. childe + foul legacy too lol tighnari + scara’s lightning (quite literally shrugged it off)#eleazar gets somewhat of a pass bc the explanations for its existence was reasonable#still i was disappointed by its miraculous cure + had no lingering aftereffects. as someone whose symptoms look a lot like theirs#the vision hunt decree too that they seemed to have forgot about#these are just off the top of my head lol#baizhu was done fairly well imo. could they have done more? sure. but i’m okay w what we got#anyway this was not the intention of this post i just like hearing myself talk ig lmao#hsr spoilers#can’t forget that
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i mean in my defense daryans motive is At best implied before they knew who did it. And its a stupid motiveLIKE ITS. MONEY??? FOR THE MONEYYYY??? IS "WORKING TWO JOBS ONE OF WHICH IS AN EXTREMELY POPULAR ROCK BAND" POOR TO YOU????????AHRHRHFGHHF
#YOU COULDNT COME UP WITH A REASON WHY SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO CURE A TERMINALLY ILL CHILDS DISEASE???#MOOOONEEEEEYYYYY?!?!!?!?#!!?!?#?!??#turnabout serenade youre funny and all but oh my god U make me so mad.#JUST SAY HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING SOMETHING GOOD.#it can be a good parallel to Literally Just Evil Kristoph.#U know for klavier development. OMG IM MADDDD
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can wayv pls drop something. i wanna gif
#i wish i could be cured of my only wants to gif wayv disease but its terminal im afraid#literally i have to work up so much motivation to gif something else 😭😭😭#vinnie talks
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Just watched the maze runner for the first time since childhood. Just as Traumatising all over again. Many questions.
#okay so first off: not that the ‘greivers’ (goofy aa name btw) aren’t cool as fuck looking and all that#but why#why??? why the#if they’re tryna find a cure to this incurable disease#surely there’s more efficient methods I mean come on#surely????#how much recourses we’re used making that stupid aa maze man cmon#surely this isn’t cost effective I mean#if this is the apocalypse then wouldn’t resources like this be scarce??????#also the twist at the end implying that the people who ‘rescued’ them are all in on the ‘game’ whatever that is#so many questions#so little answers#losing my gdamn mind#the fucking greivers are actively injecting ur ‘last hope for a cure’ WITH THE DISEASE???#if it was some kind of trial thing where you sacrifice them to test if they’re immune or whatever I’m sure there’s so many more easier metho#ds#literally just cage them normally and just use em like actual lab rats#like why go through all the effort man#so much effort and for waht????#they had cures??? that Thomas used?????????#why do they need cures they already found them??????????#auGHHG#it’s too late for me to watch another one of these goddamn movies but I’m actually tearing my face off#it’s not even the horror or thrill of it thats bothering me#it’s how fuckin inefficient this whole fuckin save the world strategy is#I get it#it’s early 2000’s cinema#they were all about the cyberpunk big in ur face futuristic post apocalyptic nonesense#loved shilling thousands of ‘dollars’ on it for these blockbusters about giant car robots and everything#but like
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i wish i could concisely explain my sims world but i’ve been fleshing the same one out for almost 2 years. where do i even begin
#i’m 5 gens in and it would be more but i slowed down lifespans and made life stages longer with a mod#so now i can really focus on their little lives#and it’s all one huge family. they started from quiverful fundies and then a bunch of the kids managed to escape and now the whole world is#populated by the descendants of this one insane couple#i use random townies to expand the family bc i like all the family trees criss crossing#but i think a lot of the line will die with this generation. not everyone is having kids#and i’m making unrelated sims for new townies so i can have more genetic diversity#my game used to be ONLY about this family but i’m done working#through that stuff in therapy so now it’s more varied#for example one sim. lil. she was banned from her family for killing her brother in self defense. but TWIST he was the serial killer who had#been terrorizing the world for months. BUT she killed hin in front of their nephew so everyone was mad at Her and not really him bc he was#already dead#(oh btw they’re all vampires)#so she decided to leave the area and start over completely#and cured herself of vampirism and then got herself bit by a werewolf#she keeps in contact with quite. a few of her cousins but her parents and aunts and uncles not so much#her grandparents are all dead and they were the OG crazies bc she’s only third gen#but like her dad is literally dying of a fatal disease and he hasn’t even told her. she’s just being invited to the mourning party#my bestie and gf love hearing about it it’s like a soap opera
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anyway you know which word we need to put on the high shelf forever letting it collect dust until it is dust itself
neurospicy
#the fucking patronizing state of that#fucking tiktok psych majors think they get to say just about Anything about disability#if they phrase it with cutesy little wordsies#literally saw someone say ''it's not an excuse if you're neurospicy you still need to learn to manage your emotions''#Oh the person with Can't Manage Emotions disease doesn't knownhow to manage emotions ?#and they should ~just learn to do it~ ? well golly thank god you're here nobody else thought of that one before#disability's over everyone let's pack it up we found the cure. ''just do the thing your disability won't let you do''#can't believe it was that simple the whole time and we just never tried it. woah.#any other nuggets of wisdom to spare in our direction my liege
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The top two guesses for what the fuck is wrong with me rn is celiacs or Graves’ disease and celiacs looks really possible but I Really don’t what that to be it cause there’s already so many foods I can’t eat im already very limited in what I’m able to eat and that would knock out just about all of it and in a weird way I hope it’s graves cause then it’d also explain a lot of the issues with my eyes
#honestly I kinda hope it’s something more ‘severe’ or can’t be cured#just because I mean I’ve lived like this literally my entire life#like died at less than a month old my health is so severe didn’t stay dead but yk#and I accepted a long time ago that this is just the body I got and I will always be sick to some degree#and I don’t think I could handle learning it was something that coulda been so easily dealt with years ago if someone listened to me#I don’t want to have spent my entire life in pain and always sick for no reason#like I don’t want to be sick obviously but I don’t want it to have all been for nothing#ghost rambles#also just. I feel like people don’t really realize celiacs isn’t just an allergy or something#at least if gone untreated or ignored it causes really severe health issues#and imma be so real I’ve spent my whole life getting belittled and no one beleiving how bad it is#that I feel like if it is celiacs it’s still gonna be seen as oh so ur fine that’s nothing#but celiacs is way more than just can’t eat gluten it is still an autoimmune disease#plus if I can’t process proteins on top of that it makes food as a whole very difficult#which then brings in I’ve spent most my life malnourished which brings in even more health issues#and it’s just a really fucked up domino effect of health issues
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