#literally asked me to stop working on a feature that i was pretty much done programmint and then said 'we dont need it anyways :)'

[leezuhh]

i think game jams are a test of patience of how close you can get to snapping at someone

[no-144444]

the grid: when they admit they love you!

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featuring: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton, George Russell, Alex Albon, Franco Colapinto, Logan Sargeant, Daniel Riccardo, Liam Lawson, Charles LeClerc, Carlos Sainz, Arthur LeClerc, Ollie Bearman, Max Verstappen, Paul Aron, Jack Doohan.

this is 18+ so mdni please! smut in some of them!

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Oscar Piastri: fumbling and scared 

You sat at the reception of McLaren, and every single day he was terrified of making a fool of himself. You were the cool, pretty receptionist he’d already gone on 3 dates with, and this Friday he was going to ask you to officially be his girlfriend. The conversation between you two flowed easily when it was just you two, but with other people there… he was less than smooth. Your desk mate, the other receptionist had a knack for gossip, and she was kind of scary, she he tried to steer clear of her when he could. 

“Morning,” you smiled as he walked in the door. 

“Morning,” he smiled back, leaning on your desk. “How are you?”

You started signing him into the building (he ‘lost’ his access card months ago, aka he threw it away and didn’t try to get a new one, just so he could have some reason to talk to you). “I’m good, looking forward to Friday,” you smiled. “You?”

He beamed, grinning like a kid. “Me too.”

“Oscar!” Chris (the guy who has the biggest crush on you ever) clapped a hand on his back, much too hard. “Buddy, I got you a new access-card! Now you can stop bothering the pretty lady here, right?”

“Chris, it’s no bother, I do it every morning-” you tried to diffuse the situation. You didn’t exactly want Osccar to have to deal with Chris, he was such an asshole.  

“Yeah, but it’s one less thing off your plate baby,” he winked at you and Oscar felt something twist in his stomach when you grimaced at the pet name. 

“Don’t call her that,” he told him. “She has a name, it’s Y/n. Use her name.” 

“Dude, I know you wouldn’t get it, but some people date other people,” Chris chuckled like a scumbag. “And me and her are together, so back off.”

Oscar laughed. He actually laughed in your co-workers face. “You’re funny, man.”

Chris laughed along. “I know right.” 

Oscar took the access card from him, leaned over the desk and pressed his lips to yours, like he’d done many times before, and carried on to his meetings. Chris stood there shocked, then walked back to his desk like a wounded puppy. 

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Friday rolled around and you were both sat on his couch watching Cars, when he turned to you. “I’m sorry about Monday,” he admitted. “I know it wasn’t the right thing to do and it probably made it worse but I just-”

“It worked,” you told him. “He hasn’t spoken to me all week, but he has been trying to report you to HR for me, but every time he does I just tell them I didn’t make the claim and then report Chris for being weird. It worked perfectly. He’s such a dick,” you chuckled. 

He watched you as you chuckled, the way your nose scrunched, the flyaway hairs on your forehead framing your face, your soft lips, you gorgeous eyes. “I love you,” he said, softly, but you looked up with wide-eyes all the same. He’d shocked himself too. “OHmygodIamsosorryIknowit’swaytooearlyand-”

You just started laughing, literally falling into his lap. You laughed against his chest and after a moment, he joined you. 

“You’re such a dork,” you smiled brightly as you ran a hand through his hair, then gently caressed his cheek. “I love you too.”

He beamed. “Can I be your boyfriend?” 

You nodded, then kissed him gently. Cars and a pretty girl as his girlfriend? Could his Friday night get any better? 

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Lando Norris: sweet and sincere (for once)

He watched as you walked from the edge of the water into it, splashing around with Mila. It was your first Norris family holiday, and yeah, maybe he had lied to you and told you it would just be you two to trick you into meeting his family only 5 months into your relationship. Maybe you were super mad at him to the point of barely speaking to him unless in the group. But also, maybe Lando was watching the love of his life play with his niece, and maybe he didn’t care that he’ just called you that. 

“Lala!” Mila called, running up to him. “I really like Y/n, can we keep her?” 

You came up behind her, chuckling lightly at her statement. He stared at you for a moment. You were sunkissed (and a little sunburn on your nose), with a bright smile, wet hair and a beautiful blue swimsuit on. You looked ethereal to him. So stunningly gorgeous that he barely knew what to say. 

“Come on kiddo, let’s grab you a snack,” you picked back up your smile and started to walk over to his sister, sitting under another umbrella with all the snacks and drinks in the world. Lando just stared at you when Mila asked. You’d thought that him inviting you on a family holiday would mean something, you must’ve thought wrong. 

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As dinner rolled around, the conversation flowed smoothly as the sun set on the horizon. 

“I’m going to go for a walk on the beach front,” you told the table once meals were finished. They waved you off and off you went. The beautiful sea and stars in the sky caught your attention as your red dress flowed in the wind. It was magical, the warm air, the magnificent views, all of it. The sand beneath your feet was warming your feet and you stopped to look out on the ocean. The soothing, calm waves with the scent of salt made you smile. You’d always loved the beach. 

“You look beautiful,” Lando’s voice made you jump, and you searched for him until you realised he was right beside you. 

“Thank you,” you smiled softly. He wrapped a hand around your waist and turned you to face him. 

He’d been quiet at dinner, too busy trying to think of how to get you to talk to him again, and how he could finally confess his love for you. It was almost overwhelming, the fact that he was in love. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that it was a family trip,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

You sighed. “It was pretty shitty…” you reminded him. “But I’ve been having fun with them. You come from good people. Makes sense.”

He smiled brightly at your compliment and pressed his forehead against yours. “Thank you for not leaving once you found out.”

You chuckled. “No problem.”

“I adore you,” he admitted. “More than anything. I fucking love you.”

Your eyes widened and you stood there with your jaw dropped. “Holy shit,” you cursed under your breath and he giggled. 

“You don’t have to say it back or anything, I just wanted to tell you,” he clarified, once he’d stopped laughing. 

You smiled at him, chuckling. “I love you too, Lando, of course I do. Even when you do stupid shit like invite me to a family holiday.” 

He laughed, burying his face in your neck. “I already said ‘I’m sorry’!”

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George Russell: of course…

He smiled as he crossed the finish line, finally  winning another race. 

“Well done George!” his engineer cheered, congratulating him as the garage erupted into celebrations. 

When he was finally out of the car, all interviews were over, and all that was left was to take a few team photos, he was given a moment to seek you out. You’d hugged you at the barricade, but since then he hadn’t seen you. You were busy signing things for fans, little girls who wanted to be ‘just like you’ one day. You smiled and told them they would be, that their dreams of being olympic gymnasts weren’t far-fetched. He smiled, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He was covered in champagne, and you groaned, making the small group of girls laugh. 

“George!” you groaned, pushing him off.

“What?” he smirked, pulling you back in. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, as the group of girls moved on with a giggle and a wave. “You look stunning.”

“You’re wet,” you dead-panned. “Congratulations, winner.”

He grinned. “I love you.”

You stared at him for a moment, a gentle disbelief in your eyes. “Really?”

“More than anything.”

“Not just because you're drunk on champagne?”

“Nope, I genuinely love you,” he chuckled. “Sorry,” he shrugged, unapologetic. 

You beamed, then kissed him. “I love you more.”

He shook his head. “Not possible.” 

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Kimi Antonelli: nervous 

He smiled as he opened the door to his apartment and found you on the other side. 

“Ready?” you asked, holding up a very big paint can, and some rollers. He had asked you to help him decorate his new apartment, in Monaco, and you’d thankfully agreed. You, his girlfriend / race engineer, had also just moved to Monaco, next door, in fact.

He let you in and you both began to set up the room, tarping the hardwood floors, taping off the skirting boards, and enjoying the soft music and sunny weather outside the window. You finally opened the paint and got to work. He thought you looked adorable, actually wearing paint-splattered overalls (courtesy of you repainting your entire apartment just a week ago), with a concentrated face. His eyes followed you across the room, meticulously taping every inch of the skirting board, making sure that none of the blue paint would ruin the white. 

“What?” you asked, looking back at him. 

He blushed and shook his head, finally understanding the emotions he felt for you everyday. He loved you. “Nothing.”

You raised an eyebrow and walked over, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips. “You sure?”

He nodded, much too nervous to tell you. He looked away, pretending to be engrossed in messing with your pockets. 

You shrugged, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Alright,” you let go of him and walked back to the side of the room that you were working on. 

He’d tell you, one day. 

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Lewis Hamilton: smooth about it

He smirked as you walked out from your bedroom, clad in one of his shirts and some tiny sleep-shorts, excited about finally sitting down to watch the movie. It had been a difficult triple-header, and he hadn’t been around. But finally, the season was over, and he could invite you over to start enjoying the Christmas festivities. He loved this. He loved the casual, regular things you two did. He liked the way you cuddled up to him on the couch, he loved the way he knew you’d definitely fall asleep before the film ended, he loved you-

Oh.

He loved you. 

He chuckled and you looked at him confused. 

“You alright?” 

He chuckled. “All good baby,” he nodded, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. 

“What was that about?” you questioned further, putting the remote down. He ran a hand through your hair, looking at you with all the love in the world. 

“Just love you,” he shrugged as your jaw dropped. He chuckled, watching a million emotions run through you. 

“You’re such a dick!” you playfully hit him on the shoulder. “I wanted to say it first!”

He laughed and pulled you into his arms, holding you closer. “I’m sorry baby.”

You scoffed. “No you’re not.”

He shook his head. “No I’m not.” 

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Alex Albon: oh… yah. 

He sighed as he opened the door to his driver’s room. He was exhausted, another race down, another weekend closer to the end of this. 

“Hey,” you smiled. 

His mood picked up, knowing you were there. His best friend. “Hey,” he smiled, pulling you into a hug. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Surprise?” you shrugged. “I wanted to come see you.” 

He smiled, pressing his face into your neck inhaling the smell of your perfume, feeling much more at ease than he did before. “I thought you couldn’t make it today.”

“I did, but I won't be able to be in Qatar or Abu Dhabi,” you admitted, breaking the bad news. You could feel him frown. 

“Why not?”

“I'm busy for the next two weeks with work. Then I have the whole couples retreat thing and then-”

“Pardon? Couples retreat?”

“This guy I’m seeing is saying we should go, I think it’s a swinging thing though, I’m not exactly into it. But non refundable tickets and I would like a holiday before I have to deal with our families all Christmas,” you explained with a chuckle.

His world crumpled around him. “You’re seeing someone?”

You nodded. “Yeah, he’s… nice,” you smiled. “Don’t worry, you won’t be meeting him for a while, he’s not even my boyfriend yet-”

You stopped talking because he’d started kissing you. He hadn’t really connected the dots before. He liked how close your families were, he liked being your best friend, he liked being around you all the time. He liked being the person you’d come to about things. He didn’t like other people liking you. He’d been your personal bodyguard throughout your teenage years, and he had shooed off every guy, just because he was protecting you, right? It had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted both of you to wait and be each other's first kiss, like you’d promised when you were 10. 

Oh shit. He was in love with you. 

He pulled back with wide-eyes. “I’m in love with you.”

You broke out into a smile. “I love you too.”

He grinned like a little kid. 

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Franco Colapinto: shy? For once?

He froze as he heard your voice from behind. He hadn’t been home in months, too busy with racing to visit. But Christmas rolled around as it always did, and so did every single family friend. 

“Franco!” his mother’s voice rang out. “Come here!”

He turned and was met with your eyes. He felt himself blushing already.

“Y/n’s here!” she cheered. You offered a small wave and a smile, which he mirrored. 

“It’s good to see you again,” you  smiled. “Happy Holidays.”

He nodded. “You too.”

“How’s F1 going?”

“Good, well. I like it,” he scratched the back of his neck. 

“Well, we’ve all been cheering you on from here,” you smiled. “I can’t wait to see what you do next year.”

He smiled and nervously chuckled. “Thank you.”

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As he watched you over the coming days, enjoying your company, even when he wasn’t the centre of your attention, he found himself becoming even more shy, even more confused, and increasingly love-sick.

He just had to find a way to make himself tell you, easy, right? 

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Logan Sargeant: idek

Y’know how you’re told that when boys like you, they’ll bully you? That’s bullshit, they’re just bullies and their parents make excuses for them. 

You watched as Logan got into your car, getting ready to drive it, and you felt yourself tense up. You’d never gotten along with Logan, growing up in the same racing series, only you pivoted to Indycar and he went to F1. Now he was about to drive your car. You’d never been more nervous. You were the Indycar champion this year, the first women to do it, and you were proud. Giving your car over to Crash-Sargeant wasn’t exactly your choice, but you still had hope that he could drive it. 

You went up to him as he was about to get it, and grabbed his hand, holding him in place. “If you fucking car my car I will cut your balls off Sargeant. Don’t fuck with me, alright?” you whispered, getting close enough to feel his breath on your cheek. He smirked and nodded, ripping his hand out of your grasp.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

He was already hearing wedding bells. Utterly and totally in love with you. 

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Daniel Riccardo: nothing like a big gesture, right?

He dropped you off outside departures, a sad smile on his face. “Don’t want you to go,” he sighed.

You rolled your eyes, then wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek as his hands circled your waist. “What’re you doing today?”

“Stuff for Enchanté,” he explained. 

“That’s why you can’t come this weekend? Not up to being my WAG in Haas?” you smirked, pressing small kisses to his cheeks as you spoke. 

“God no, I only go there for Nico,” he smirked. “And you’re replacing him today.”

You rolled your eyes, letting god of him. “Fuck you!” you called after you, trying to suppress a smile. He watched as you walked off, shaking your head and he thought about everything. Every night he went to sleep with you in his arms, every morning he woke up beside you, every smile he saw, every laugh he made happen, every hug or kiss he got from you. He smiled, realising the truth. 

He loved you. 

Therefore he ran after you, making a huge scene in the airport. When he finally made it up to you, there were 2 security guards chasing him, so he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you harshly, a bright smile on his face. “I love you,” he smiled when he pulled away. 

“You’re going to get fucking arrested!” you stressed, wide-eyed and shocked at his behavior. 

“For being in love?”

“No, you idiot, for bypassing security and running through an airport without a ticket! Go back!” you pushed him off of you with an exasperated and amused smile.

“I love you!” he called after himself as he was taken away by the security guards. 

“I love you too, you fucking idiot!” you scoffed. “You have a phone, y’know!” 

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Liam Lawson: will NOT speak to you at any cost

Being in love with one of his mechanics probably wasn’t the greatest idea, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and his wanted you. 

“Liam can I-?” you started, but he just walked away, his eyes glued to the floor. You followed behind him, trying again and again to get his attention, but he continued ignoring you, and you'd had enough. “Fuck’s sake- Liam! Stop being such a dick! I don’t know if you just don’t respect me, or if you don’t like me, but I’m a mechanic on your time, and I'm asking if there’s anything you want us to change about your car to make you more comfortable. Just answer me that simple question and I promise I won’t bother you again all weekend!” 

He froze on the spot. “I’m in love with you-” he blurted out, then clapped a hand over his mouth. “The car is fine, sorry. Thanks.”

Then he walked off, leaving you in a stunned silence. 

What the fuck had he just done?

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Charles LeClerc: weirdly calm about it

You two sat on (one of)  his (many) yacht(s), overlooking the gorgeous Monaco bay. He had an arm around you, both of you dressed in comfortable clothes with nothing to do for the entire weekend. Oh, how he adored the off-season. You were too busy reading a book to notice the way he was looking at you. In the simple, silent moment it hit him suddenly that he was in fact, in love with you. And it didn’t scare him the way previous girlfriends confessing such things to him had. It felt right, completely normal, even. 

“Do you want anything?” you yawned. 

“Pardon?” he asked, too busy in his own world. 

“I’m ordering food, do you want something?” 

“I’m alright, but let me get it,” he offered and you scoffed.

“Fuck off Percvél. I can pay for my own food,” you chuckled, getting up and walking further into the boat. 

He chuckled, watching after you. 

Wow, he was mature. And, in love. 

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Carlos Sainz: definitely not freaking out

“I love you,” you confessed as the two of you cosied up at the beach. It had been a brilliant holiday, the two of you actually getting to spend some time together. 

He looked at you with wide-eyes. 

“Sorry if that was too soon, or too much. I just… wanted you to know. You don’t have to say anything back- of course.” 

While you were catastrophising, he was freaking out. You loved him. You told him you loved him. Holy shit. 

He stuttered for a moment, making you grimace. You’d fucked it up, definitely. There was no way he felt the same, right? You were probably just a 7 month long hook-up to him, right? 

“I love you too,” he smiled, then pressed his lips to yours.

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Arthur LeClerc: accidental

“Arthur is so whipped!” his friend laughed, watching as Arthur helped you set the table for dinner. Arthur just laughed, whereas, you frowned. Did Arthur think you were too clingy? Too demanding? Too much? 

Throughout dinner, you were pretty quiet, and you didn’t even let Arthur help you clean up. You went to bed early as he entertained the guests alone, and when he came to bed, there was a pillow between either sides of your bed. He frowned. 

“Baby,” he cooed, wrapping his arms around you and placing your head in the crook of his neck. “What is the problem?”

You sniffled. “It’s nothing,” you shook your head. “I’m sorry.”

He felt his heart warm when you held on to him, revelling in the fact that you would choose him to comfort you. “It’s just what-”

“Please don’t tell me you took to heart the comment Harry made?” he scoffed. You were quiet. “My love, I love you, I like helping you, I like being there for you, I like kissing and hugging you. If he has a problem with that then he can fuck off,” he chuckled, then stopped when he realised what he’d said. 

“You love me?” you sniffled, raising your head to look at him. 

He smiled. “Of course I do,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Always.” 

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Ollie Bearman: overwhelmed 

He smiled as he watched you dance on the dancefloor of the club. You looked so free and happy, smiling brightly with friends as the lights flashed and the music was loud enough to feel it in your entire body. 

“Dude, you two are so in love, it’s adorable,” Paul, his friend, pointed out. 

“I don’t- we’re not-”

“Haven’t said it yet?” Paul chuckled. “You should. I think she’d say it back.”

Ollie nodded, trying to pretend his entire world hadn’t been flipped upside down. You. Love. He wasn’t in love, right? All boyfriends wanted their girlfriends beside them at all times, right? All boyfriends missed their girlfriends so much that they flew them out to every race, right?  All boyfriends had begged their girlfriends to meet his parents, and vice versa only months into getting together, right?  All boyfriends felt suffocated when their girlfriends weren’t around, right? 

Oh shit, he was in love with you. He stepped outside to get some air.

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After a while of not seeing Ollie, you went outside to find him. You found him, leaning against the wall of the club, staring off into space. 

“Alright?” you asked, gently placing a hand on his cheek. 

He looked at you and smiled. “Alright,” he nodded, wrapping his hands around your waist. 

“Why’d you leave?” you asked. 

“Needed some air,” he admitted. It wasn’t untrue. 

“For 30 minutes?” you questioned and he knew he’d been caught. “Did Paul say something stupid? Need me to beat him up for you?” 

He chuckled, pulling you closer to him. “No, I’m alright. I was just… thinking.” 

“Dangerous pastime,” you teased and he chuckled. “What about?”

“You,” he confessed. 

“What about me?”

“I’m in love with you,” he answered nervously. 

“Oh yeah?” you smiled and he nodded. “Good thing I love you too.” 

Wow, Paul was right, for once. 

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Max Verstappen: strange man 

He watched from the other side of the plane as you played chess against his mother, bright smiles on both of your faces as the game progressed. He noticed the way your nose crinkled, the way your eyes shone, the comfortable position you sat in. He thought of every moment he got to share with you, and he almost teared up thinking of the best ones. He loved you. But he wouldn’t tell you, not yet. 

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He thrust into you, euphoria so close he could almost touch it. “Good girl, he groaned, feeling your nails in his back. “Taking me so well.” 

You just moaned against his skin, too cockdrunk to really notice what was going on around you. Max was a 4 time world champion. He’d done it. The first thing he’d wanted was to fuck you silly in his hotel room.

He was close, he slowed down his thrusts, much to your dismay, and slowly but firmly continued. 

“I,” thrust. “Love,” thrust. “You.” 

And he came inside you as you screamed into his shoulder, reaching your own peak. He hadn’t even meant to say it, it just came out (see what I did there? 😀). He stared down at you as you looked back up at him with wide eyes. 

“You love me?” you questioned. 

He nodded, his mouth dry. He was trying to focus on the softness of this moment, whilst also having to deal with your tight walls around his cock. Torture. 

“I love you too,” you smiled, flipping him over and straddling him. He groaned when he saw you on top of him and he was hard again. “Let me take care of you, yeah? My winner,” you smirked before starting to move on his cock. 

He was in for a long night. But a long night with the woman he loved. 

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Paul Aron: finally is a victim of humility 

“Paul, just tell her!” Ralf, his brother, argued. “She adores you, you’re in love with her, it’s alright!” 

“But… what if she doesn’t say it back?” He asked, much more insecure than he meant it to sound. He wasn’t used to being unsure when it came to romance. Paul had always been the type of guy to get any girl he wanted, with you it had been different. You’d hated his guts. He had to prove to you he was a good guy, then you’d finally gone out with him, and fast forward a year, he was trying to figure out how to tell you he loved you. He’d only realised it last night, when you were waiting in his apartment with dinner made for the two of you for the simple reason ‘just because’. In that moment he’d wrapped his arms around you and kissed you to stop himself from ruining the night and confessing right then and there. 

Ralf groaned. “You are impossible!” 

When did love become so complicated?

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Jack Doohan: so not casual 

Jack watched as you wiped out in the waves once again, a giggle on his lips. As you resurfaced, he saw the panic in your eyes and he swam over, his body taking over before his brain could say anything. 

“You alright?” he called, swimming over to you. You shook your head wildly, tears forming in your eyes. 

“M-my leg,” you whimpered out, trying to keep yourself above water. He grabbed your waist and held you bridal-style so he could swim back to shore, signalling to the lifeguards as finally got you to shore. He saw the issue when you two were out of the water, a huge gash on your left leg, so bad you could see the bone. The cracked bone.

What ensued for the next 9 hours was a flurry of an ambulance, hospital rooms, and surgery, but the only constant was Jack. he stayed there the entire time, and he was there when you woke up. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when your eyes opened. “Hey baby,” he smiled, easy as ever despite the worry he’d been under extreme stress all day. “You’re awake.”

You nodded, taking his hand. “I’m so sorry about today-”

“Don’t apologise. We all get hurt sometimes, it’s alright,” he reassured you. “Plus, it’s not like I can be mad at you.”

“Why not?” you asked. 

“Because I love you,” he shrugged. He’d realised in the 9 hours of  stress that he wouldn’t go to this extent for anyone else, and that he must be insane or in love (which were probably the same thing) to somehow be blindsighted into bringing you to the most dangerous part of the beach for surfing (we was persuaded by you kissing him lots) and then bringing you to the ER and staying with you the entire time. So, he chose the love one, it sounded better. 

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[tearsofcalamity]

Boothil has me on a chokeholdI want to fuck him so bad.Maybe install a few softwares, up his sensitivity, play with his mind.. Or maybe a lewd virus.. Make him so horny and needy, his head can literally think of you fucking him so good..Or him accidentally plugging the wrong USB, thinking it's his usual data after rebooting, but it's your USB and it messed with him.. I want to fuck his pretty hole so bad

hi anon this is tasty oml

imagine his sensitivity's been all off, some kinda glitch maybe from an incident during one of his missions. one moment it's been too low, and the next (just like now) it's way, way too high. for every other touch it's just annoying, but every time you've brushed past him today, he's failed to mention his issue with just how aroused he feels himself getting. it's different when it's your touch.

when he finally bucks up and admits that he's been having issues, you're so caring, so much more considerate of his senses (he wishes you wouldn't be - he really just wants you to fuck him dumb every time you so much as graze him) as you set out a few USBs and ask him to wait while you go grab some other tools to fix up his sensors. he asks what they're for, and when you tell him they're various types of sensations compiled into USBs to better test each type of touch, he figures he might as well just get a jumpstart with the testing so he doesn't waste your precious time.

he opts for the USB sitting the furthest away. the fool, he hadn't even asked you what sensation each one was before trying it out. it could've been pain, a ticklish feeling, but no, he got arousal. it was like he was overwhelmed like an animal in heat at once, his eyes shooting open as his cock strained against his trousers painfully. images of you involuntarily flashed through his mind, and he had to fight to keep himself breathing normally, but it was no use...

you get back to find him practically humping the air, strands of black and white hair sticking to his forehead as he pants and moans and begs for your help. you're concerned until you see the USB sticking out of his port and realize at once what he's done, lightly chastising him (horrendous torture for him in this state, surely, to have your breath so gently tickling his ear as he suffers) on not touching your tools without asking you first.

unfortunately, it'd be too risky to go in and fix this via his inner wiring while he's this worked up... it might burn you with how much he's overheating. so the only solution is to fuck his brains out until he's at least semi-conscious enough to cool down. good thing you made sure he'd be able to fuck in any way a normal man could when adding his sensitivity! giving him all the facilities is coming in handy.

poor guy doesn't even have the time or mental faculties to ask why the hell you had an arousal USB among the testers present.

ooooh, maybe use a toy on his cock while you pound into him... it'll give you a nice view of his face while he's being completely overwhelmed, his eye filled with hearts, rolling back as his tongue sticks out from behind those pretty lips of his. a nice, slick onahole should do wonders to cool him down after one, three, five... maybe more orgasms, even as he begs you to stop despite his hips continuing to rut into the gadget. the fun thing about fucking a robot is that he can go a lot more than a human can, and as much as boothill tosses his head from side to side, actual tears beginning to spill, you can also see the drool beginning to fall from his lips, his lolling tongue as he groans your name over and over.

he's got a pseudo-prostate that you make sure to nail with precision every time your strap slides inside of him, the impeccable design of his insides allowing you to slip in and out with ease. you remove the onahole from his weeping cock (another feature that aids the toy and your current activities as a whole), pushing his legs up and folding him in half into a mating press, just to see if he can cum only from his prostate. and cum he does - his voice coming out higher and higher pitched as he wails in both euphoria and humiliation at your treatment of him.

finally, you slow when you realize he has indeed begun to cool. his eyes are rolled back, hair messy and splayed across the table, harsh scratches made by his metal nails into the steel table (somehow). he's not quite unconscious, but he certainly can't form any further words, his breathing heaving with small, scattered moans as he tries to regain himself. his emergency cooling procedure had kicked into high gear at last, aiding you in fixing up his sensitivity.

oh, but perhaps leave that special USB lying around. mark it clearly, and pretend not to notice when boothill digs through your messy desk to find it and plug it back in, acting for all the world that he didn't mean to use that special little one on himself again. he's got too much pride to admit it, after all. oh well, it seems you'll have to help him once more!

[captainsophiestark]

Miscommunication

Kol Mikaelson x Reader

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Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Summary: You've finally worked up the courage to ask Kol on a date, but with all the people who've been trying to kill him lately, he jumps to the wrong conclusion about what's being asked of him. Set right after TVD "A View To A Kill", if Jeremy didn't succeed in killing Kol.

Word Count: 2,517

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Hello, love. I wasn't expecting to get a call from you."

I grinned at the voice of the youngest Mikaelson brother coming through the other end of the phone. I'd met him at the Grill a few weeks ago, and we'd pretty much immediately hit it off. I'd been trying to work up the courage to ask him out ever since, and after overhearing his siblings talking about how close he'd come to dying recently, I'd decided to stop wasting time and just give him a call.

"Hi Kol. Uh, I know this is kind of out of the blue, but... well, I wanted to see if you wanted to maybe get together at some point and... talk. Hang out. All that... stuff..."

I grimaced. I'd never done this before, and it was probably painfully obvious, especially to a vampire with a literal thousand years of experience.

"You want to get together and talk?" asked Kol, a lilt to his voice that I couldn't quite decipher. Everything in me screamed that I should bail out, but I grit my teeth and forced myself to toughen up.

"Yeah. If that's something you'd want to do."

"Oh, it very much is." My heart stopped. I'd been sure this call was about to be a total fumble, but apparently, somehow it'd worked? "What did you have in mind?"

"Uh..." I mentally kicked myself. I'd spent so much time trying to work up the nerve to actually call him, I hadn't thought at all about what I would do if he actually said yes. "Well, I don't know. Is there anywhere you'd especially like to meet up? Or anything you'd like to do?"

"How about your house?" The doorbell rang. "Right now?"

My brain short circuited. He was here? Now? I wasn't ready at all! The house was fairly clean, and I didn't look like a total mess, but I also wasn't ready for a date! And wasn't a first date supposed to be about thirty degrees more chill and removed, like a going to a movie or dinner or something?

I forced myself to take a deep breath. Yes, this was technically a first date, but Kol and I had interacted before. We were friendly, maybe even friends. It's not like he was some stranger I was about to let into my home.

"Uh, sure. Now is... now is good. I take it you're the one at my door?"

"Yes I am, darling."

"Okay. Well, then... I guess I'll see you in a second."

I hung up the phone before I could make any more of a fool of myself, paused at the mirror in the hallway to quickly adjust my outfit, then strode confidently to the front door. If I pretended to be confident, it would probably rub off and turn into the real thing, right?

I swung open my door to find a grinning Kol on the other side, one arm raised and resting against the doorframe. My heart did a little backflip at that, and I just hoped his vampire senses hadn't clued him in on it.

"Well? Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Oh! Right, yeah, come on in, Kol."

He grinned at me as he slowly, deliberately put one foot over the threshold, then the other. He paused once he officially stood in my house, facing me with a look like he expected me to have some kind of reaction. I just gave him a smile.

"Welcome in. Uh, I'll be honest, I wasn't really prepared for you to come over, like, now. But we can make some drinks, maybe play a board game or something? I actually think I have an at-home dart board buried somewhere around here if you want to get your ass kicked like you did the first time we met."

Kol huffed a laugh, a smaller, more genuine smile pulling onto his face as he shook his head at me.

"Well, now we have to play, don't we? I can't let my honor be tarnished without fighting back."

"I think it only counts as tarnishing your honor if it's not true," I mused as I led Kol into the kitchen, incredibly aware of how closely he followed behind me. If vampires could hear heart beats, then I was well and truly screwed.

"Exactly. I didn't get my ass kicked in darts, so what you said wasn't true."

I paused long enough to give Kol a judgey look over my shoulder, then walked around to the cabinets behind the kitchen island.

"Alright, I'll go dig out the dartboard in a minute, but let's figure out drinks first. I'll be honest, I'm not the best bartender, but I'll see what I can do."

"Here, let me. I'm an excellent bartender."

Kol reached for the bottles in my hand, but I paused, holding them slightly away from him. He leaned into me, and my heart did its stupid jumping jacks again, although I ignored it. Instead, I fixed Kol with another look.

"Are you an excellent bartender in the way you're an excellent dart player? Or are you actually an excellent bartender?"

Kol shook his head, an edged smile spread on his face as he reached across me and took the bottles from my hands. I was more than a little disappointed when he pulled away.

"Alright, I'm going to make us some drinks while you go and get that dart board, right now. We're going to settle this, once and for all."

"I'm still not totally sure that I actually have it," I reminded him, walking backwards out of the kitchen. Kol just hummed, shooting me one last look as he got to work on the drinks before I turned the corner.

As soon as I was out of his sight, I paused to take a few deep breaths. I was starting to feel seriously giddy hanging out with him like this, and I needed to calm the hell down. It was a casual first date, after all. I didn't need to get ahead of myself.

Once the butterflies in my chest had settled down a bit, I walked the rest of the way to the hall closet, or what I thought of as my junk closet. It was packed with things that were just useful or sentimental enough that I didn't want to throw them away, but that basically never came in handy on a regular basis. If that dartboard someone had gotten me for my birthday a few years ago was anywhere, it would be here.

I dug through a few boxes I thought might be likely candidates, trying to remember where past me might've put things last time I'd organized everything. Finally, after what felt like way too much searching, I found it at the bottom of a box on a higher shelf. Even better, a bag with all the darts still together was with it.

I grinned, doing a little triumphant fist pump to myself before turning to head out of the closet. In the doorway, however, I found Kol hovering, watching me intently, a menacing air about him that hadn't been there earlier.

"Hey... what are you doing?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms.

"Me? I was about to ask you the same thing, darling. It really took you that long to find the dart board?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, watching for any clues as to what the hell he was doing before briefly glancing away to check the time my phone. Honestly, it hadn't even been that long.

"I mean, yes? Have you looked around this closet at all since you got here? It's a mess. How long have you been standing there, anyway?"

"I'm not an idiot, sweetheart," he said instead of answering me, taking another step forward. I narrowed my eyes at him. "I know you're back here messaging your little friends, trying to set up another ambush for me after the first one didn't work. I know how you Mystic Falls people like to operate."

My frown deepened. "Kol, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent with me, darling, it won't work. So who have you been texting?"

"No one, other than you! I knew you were acting weird on the phone, and when you first showed up. I thought my nerves were just getting the better of me, but apparently not."

"Nerves for what? Don't tell me Jeremy's going to come bursting through the door playing Van Helsing again."

"Jeremy who, Kol? Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about."

For the first time since he'd appeared in the closet doorway, Kol seemed to believe me. His look changed from borderline threatening to almost as confused as my own.

"Jeremy Gilbert."

I paused, trying to place the name. It sounded familiar, but it took me a little while to figure out why.

"That's... Elena Gilbert's little brother? Right?"

"Yes. You're actually trying to tell me you don't know him?"

I scoffed. "Kol, of course I don't know him. I graduated from high school when he was still in middle school. I barely remember him or his sister."

He studied me, eyes scanning my face, apparently looking for some sign of a lie. I just watched him back, waiting on some kind of explanation for this to make sense.

"So you're not working with Elena and her little group of friends, then? Or either of the Salvatores?"

"No, Kol. Working with them on what?"

"You're not lying."

"I know I'm not lying! Now what the hell are you talking about?"

Kol sighed, slumping back against the doorframe a little, the tension easing out of his body although he still looked a little confused. I could relate.

"Elena and Jeremy tried to kill me not too long ago," he said, as if he was saying they'd asked him for directions on the street. "Elena tried to keep me busy by lying about wanting to discuss a truce with me. I assumed this was a terrible second attempt at the same thing."

I sighed, shaking my head and closing my eyes for a beat as I leaned against the shelf behind me. I knew he was a vampire, and I'd even known someone had tried to kill him recently. But somehow, I'd underestimated the level of ridiculous drama and miscommunication that would likely create.

"Yikes. Well... I'm glad you survived, and I can honestly tell you that I'm not a part of any plot to try to kill you. I can't even remember the last time I talked to Elena, and the only time I've ever talked to either of the Salvatores was when Damon was drunk and hit on me at the Grill."

Kol snorted. "Sounds familiar."

"I'm sure."

The two of us stayed put, neither moving to stand up or leave the closet, neither speaking either. The silence just hung, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do next, so it was a relief when Kol leaned forward, the menace in his posture gone and replaced by tentative curiosity.

"You know, this leaves us with a very important question."

"And what's that?"

"If you weren't trying to drive a stake through my heart... why did you call me and ask to meet up?"

And just like that, the relief was replaced with sheer nervous panic.

"Uh... well..."

Kol grinned and took a few steps towards me.

"You said you wanted to get together and talk," he said, a teasing tone to his voice that made my heart speed up at the same time that it made me want to give him a shove. "What exactly did you want to talk about, if not murdering me?"

I shook my head, trying and failing to keep a smile off my face. Kol was well and truly in my space now, standing right in front of me, one arm over my head and leaning against the shelf behind me. Based on the grin he gave me when I met his eyes, I got the feeling he could hear my heart racing.

"I... Well, I was trying to ask you on a date."

"Were you now?" asked Kol, his shit eating grin doubling in size. I huffed.

"Yes. And it took a lot of effort to work up the courage to actually go through with it, so if you're just messing with me right now with the whole leaning into my space and flirting thing, I might actually join Team Try To Kill Kol."

Kol just laughed and shook his head, leaning in a little bit further as he did. I couldn't help a subconscious glance at his lips, and with the way they curled up even further, I knew he'd noticed.

"I'd never dream of messing with you about this, darling. Honestly, this is the best news I've gotten in days. If I hadn't been working to keep a few different people from killing me, I would've asked you out a week ago."

I grinned. "Really?"

"Absolutely."

I huffed a happy, disbelieving laugh as Kol leaned the rest of the way in, his lips finding mine. Fireworks exploded in my chest at the sensation, especially as he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My hands found his shoulders, holding on tightly, and when I finally pulled away after a few long, long moments, I was a little breathless and a little dizzy.

"Now that was worth thinking I was about to be vampire-slayed," said Kol, grinning at me before starting to lean in again. I laughed, but put a hand to his chest to stop him.

"I agree, but this is still a first date. I want to actually talk to you and get to know you beyond the few conversations we've had at the Grill, not just make out in my closet."

"You didn't like making out in the closet?"

"I didn't say that." Kol grinned, and I gave him an exasperated smile of my own. "I like this, Kol, a lot. But I could've just kept flirting at you with the Grill if all I wanted was to make out with you. Dates are supposed to be... a little more than that, at least to me."

Kol sighed, bringing his hand up to cup my chin and running his thumb across my lips before stepping back. My heart was doing backflips, and from the smirk on his face, I knew he could tell.

"Alright then, darling. I'll give your version of a date a try. As much as I like making out in closets, it might be nice to just talk to you for a bit, too."

I beamed at him. "Good. Although, it doesn't have to be all talk." I retrieved the dartboard that had been shoved back onto a shelf when Kol had first gotten in my space and held it up. "We have a few things to settle, after all."

"Oh yes we do. Come on love, our drinks are waiting in the kitchen. You're going to need one, so you have something to blame your loss on later tonight."

"Keep talking, Twilight. It's just gonna make it that much sweeter when I win."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21

[zylophie]

🔮 .巫术 — pleasant surprise | featuring: robin

🪄 ★ ₊˚𝙎𝙔𝙉𝙊𝙋𝙎𝙄𝙎꒱ ₊˚⊹ Robin has always been looking into the crowd eagerly for [y/n]. However, due to their busy schedule, Robin could never find them in the crowd. Only to find a pleasant surprise one day..

🦋★ ₊˚𝘾𝙒꒱ ₊˚⊹ a little suggestive(?) 🔮 ★ ₊˚𝙂𝙀𝙉𝙍𝙀꒱ ₊˚⊹ fluff 💫 ★ ₊˚𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀꒱ ₊˚⊹ I love robin so much, I was in literal tears(of joy) when I found out Chevy was her singer. I have been such a fan of Chevy for a long time skbdksndkdjd. Also, I can't believe I'm willingly writing fluff on my own record.. 💌 ★ ₊˚��𝙉𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉꒱ ₊˚⊹ If you'd like to request click 'here!' and read the rules~ 🐈‍⬛ ★ ₊˚𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙆꒱ ₊˚⊹ hsr masterlist 🧹 ★ ₊˚𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙄𝙉𝙂꒱ ₊˚⊹ pleasant surprise | featuring: robin

★ Whenever Robin was doing her shows, she would always desperately try to look for [y/n] in the crowd.

★ However, every single time Robins' eyes were darting eagerly around the crowd.. [y/n] was never there.

★ Robin slowly stopped trying to find [y/n] in the crowd eventually, but there's still a part of her that wishes that [y/n] would be there during one of her shows

★ Until one day.. She came across something which immediately brightens her mood for her upcoming performance..

'I didn't see [y/n] in the crowd again.. It's been a long time since they've been to my shows.'

Robin sighs as she dabs more makeup removal onto her cotton pads, before bringing it up to her face. She was feeling exhausted from performing for so long, as well as getting interviewed by her fans.

She remembered how she would always ask [y/n] if they are able to come to her shows, but was always left with a vague answer.

After she was done with removing most of her makeup. She tied her hair into a low lose bun, intending to take a bath afterwards. When suddenly..

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Robin's wings perked up. Knowing who it is outside, Robin couldn't contain her smile. Already feeling more energized than before, she went to go and get the door for whoever was behind it.

"Robin~! I'm back, how was your performanc-"

Usually [y/n] would often visit Robin a few hours after her show is done, so that they could spend a bit of time together. Expecting Robin to still be in her performance outfit still, however, when [y/n] opened their eyes. They saw Robin with a completely new hairstyle. It was also the first time they saw Robin look so disheveled, not only that, [y/n] didn't expected to be greeted with Robin in her lingerie too! [Y/n] immediately closed their eyes and faced to the ground.

"A-ah, Robin! I bought y-your favourite f-food! P-please e-enjoy it!"

Before Robin could even reply, [y/n]'s figure could be seen getting smaller and smaller, as they ran through the hallway after leaving their things behind.

'Ah.. Did they not like what they see? I guess I did look pretty untidy..'

Robin sighed, before shaking her head. Before shutting the door to take a shower, she'll talk to reader later.

THUD!

"Huh? What was that sound?"

As Robin turned around, she saw a notebook had fallen from her desk in her room. Robin moved towards the item to pick it up.

'Strange.. I don't remember this in my room..'

Robin flipped to the first page to see a familiar handwriting of the name who the book belongs to. "[Y/n]'s personal sketchbook".

'Ah, so it is [y/n]'s! I'm a little bit curious of their work since the last time I saw their art it was a few months ago.. Maybe I'll just take a peek, surely they won't mind, right?'

She flipped to the next page. Robin's eyes widened when she saw a fully colored illustration of herself in her performance outfit today! Many thoughts went through her mind.

'Wow, [y/n]'s artworks are always so spectacular!'

'I'm really happy they drew me'

'Wait.. How did they see me in this outfit? It's my first time wearing it and all the details are drawn correctly.. Today's live hasn't been published publicly yet too..'

Robin continued to flip through the notebook, only to find drawings of her only in all of her past performance outfits, until a few pair of words on the back of her today's performance caught her eye.

'Dear diary..'

Oops! Robin realised she may have accidentally stumbled into the wrong area, however, her curiosity was peaked and wanted to continue reading to see if she can get answers from how [y/n] was able to get her outfits drawn to a tee.

'Robin's outfit today was really pretty. It was sparkling, but not as bright as she was! I wish I could talk to her after her performance asap, but whenever Robin is in a new outfit in general. I'll just be a blushing AND stuttering mess! I won't be able to talk to her properly.. I'm so glad I got a seat at the very back! Since the performance was 2 hours, I got plenty of time to ready myself before I see her. Gotta finish this drawing fast!'

Robin's wings flutter in joy. One, because she was glad that [y/n] does come to her shows. Secondly, she realised the reason why they looked towards the ground earlier, she giggled before playing the book down with an uncontrollable smile.

"I'll return it to them later~"

© zylophie 2024. do not steal, copy, repost, edit, translate or use my works.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey again Sex Witch!

Thank you so much for your help! I’m the gay guy from the other day whose ask re: sexual attraction you’d answered. You really got to the heart of the matter, and I truly appreciate that.

This might sound silly but… Are you sure it’s really not weird, gross or… otherwise wrong of me to just randomly initiate a conversation with someone in a bar like that? I’m sorry - even if the worst that could happen in theory is just a few awkward seconds, a part of me still thinks that an unsolicited “hey I like your necklace” Is too… forward. lol even if there’s a guy in a jockstrap gyrating two yards away.

Again, sorry for the weird asks. And thank you for all your help!!!

hello again, anon! I'm very glad to hear that I could tap into something resonant for you. doing this kind of work without being able to have a proper one-on-one convo means I sometimes I sometimes have to guess at exactly what the best advice for someone will be, but luckily I've been doing this long enough that I've gotten to be a pretty good guesser :)

I'm 100% certain that it's not weird, and certainly not gross, to approach someone that way, as long as what you're saying is appropriate for the context. for instance, I'd broadly advise against walking up to someone who's, say, sitting in a coffee shop minding their own business and opening with "you have a gorgeous mouth, I want to see my dick in it." there are absolutely people out there that it would work on, sure, but you shouldn't assume that, because the potential to guess wrong and become an instant sex pest are wayyyy too high.

but even that's not wrong in every setting! that guy gyrating in a jockstrap probably wouldn't mind someone being a bit sexually forward; indeed, there's a very good chance that he's doing what he's doing specifically to encourage that.

but there's also a HUGE world of other, much less risque ways to open up a conversation. let's talk about your example with a necklace, and complimenting details about someone's appearance in general:

"hey, I really like [aspect of person's appearance.]" many people (wisely) recommend sticking to things that people pick and have control over - for instance, makeup, piercings, jewelry, tattoos, hairstyles, and clothing, rather than focusing on specific facial features or body parts. there are also a lot of ways to take that one further if you want to go for a more substantial conversation, including the following:

"I like that tattoo/piercing, did you get that done around here?" or "I like that [article of clothing], where did you get it?" gives them the option to provide as much or as little information as they like, potentially tell personal stories you can respond to, etc.

alternatively, if there's an identifiable common interest in their outfit: "hey, is that [thing] a reference to [whatever]? I love [whatever]!" great, now you can talk about d&d/comics/a movie/a band/an anime/literally whatever for as long as you want as a way to get to know each other

or, alternatively: "hey, that looks really cool. is it from something?" again, gives them plenty of options about how much they want to respond, which you can play off accordingly, and honestly? letting people explain a thing to you can be VERY fun, not to mention people LOOOOOVE having an excuse to talk about shit they like.

also, hey, if someone is just wearing an outfit that's really fun overall? something that they clearly took effort putting together to look nice? man, they WANT you to compliment that. they want you to compliment that so bad.

"but Makenzie how do you know?" because I dress like a loud-ass fruit 7 days a week. and I'm not doing specifically because I want people to compliment me, duh, I'm doing it because it's fun, but it's nice when people say something kind about my outfit! it's nice to be noticed! the other day I wore a pair of bright pink overalls and a student passing by me stopped to say that seeing them made her happy because pink is her favorite color! that's a great interaction, nothing unpleasant about it! I've also recently dyed my hair a shade of yellow that can be best described as "highlighter," and a LOT of people have been stopping me wherever I go to let me know how much they like it. that's nice! feels good! I also wear a lot of huge earrings, especially when I'm working at events where I get to meet prospective students for the university where I work, because it gives nervous teenagers something easy to start a conversation with! they say "I like your lego mermaid Batman earrings" and I say "thank you, I wear them so gay people will talk to me!" and then they get to say "whoa, I'M gay!" and then we're off to the races.

obviously it's presumptuous to assume people are dressing to be alluring to you specifically, but there are also very few people in the world who will be upset at being told that their hair looks nice and their outfit is cool and you think their tattoos are awesome.

people are also generally pretty stoked to hear something like "you're a really good dancer!" or "that food/drink looks good, what did you order?" or "sorry, but did I hear you talking about x? I love x! what did you think of xyz?"

statistically most people love to think that they have good taste and hate being the one to make a first move, so if you do both of those things you're already off to a GREAT start.

also, another fun reminder: even if complimenting that necklace doesn't lead to a romantic or sexual connection every time, it does serve as good practice for talking to people and makes you someone who gives compliments easily - and hopefully someone who's good at receiving them back, because many people love to repay a compliment immediately in kind! and it's never bad to be known as somebody who's generous with saying nice things :)

just give it a try; I promise you'll like it once you see how warmly people can respond to even casual praise!

[damnfandomproblems]

Okay, it may be time for another one of these sort of inbox reply compilation posts, regarding the same post Problem #5168 and the ensuing reply exchange.

One more reply from the OP of #5168, responding to this ask:

Being passive aggressive and acting superior is ALSO rude. Therefore, since it was done in reply to my submission, i have every right to swear and tell that person where they can shove it. Im not trying to say you cant give me what i give you. Swear at me too if you want. Idgaf. I just refuse to be told how to speak. People wanna act like they no longer take me seriously because i swear, but decide to argue with me and tell me they dont like that i swear. Make it make sense. idk why I'm being singled out lol. Maybe because I'm actually responding to it. Hardly do i ever curse at people. I didnt call anyone a bitch or use any particularly offensive language or anything. All my cursing in my submission was used to express my anger with the exception of telling vague people to fuck off. I swore only 8 times. Yet the first anon that submission got acted like it was truly difficult for their pure, swearword free mind to read. Like seriously how does cursing and being angry make something "hard to read"? They must have a hard time reading everything here. Honestly i think they should look to read somewhere else because this blog is all about people's problems. Everyone's angry about something or another. Ig my submission was just tooo angry for people. Guess i crossed a line by being angry and cursing in my submission. Its such a stupid thing to argue about too cuz most of these people agree to some extent but for some reason they just cant handle me being upset? I can't wrap my head around why they care so damned much about whether or not an argument has swearwords or not. There's literally no need for me to censor myself here.

And a few others' replies, regarding this exchange.

Anon:

My dude, you're accusing others of missing the point, yet in your very first paragraph you're already going on about "professionalism" when that's not what anyone else was talking about. You're putting words in their mouths.

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Anon:

This is becoming such a strange conversation... Even if someone is being passive aggressive and or a dick to you, stooping to their level and then some by telling them to shove a post up their ass is just childish. Secondly, are you willingly ignoring how that anon pointed out that nobody cared if you responded "professionally", it was about just doing the bare minimum? "Professional" is a pretty wild word to use, nobody was suggesting you have to sound like you're working as a bank teller. Maybe the other anon pulled something out of their ass but where did "professional" come from but your own ass...? I don't know, just reading this whole thing is just perplexing me. ^^;;;

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Anon:

Can the two people arguing through the askbox get a room already

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Anon:

So this whole "fuck" debacle is happening, and I can't stop laughing because all I can think of is this scene: https://youtu.be/PmCLeTqD4hY?feature=shared&t=44

(It is a YouTube link to a clip from the South Park Movie)

[totalcharliespringsimp]

Day 1 and 2 (Please read for more information on the AU and order of stories)

Day 4

Day 5 (coming soon)

Day 6 (coming soon)

Day 7 (coming soon)

Radioapple week day 3 Deal/Blood

Exchange

Word count:

624

Trigger warnings:

Blood, swearing

- Third person -

"Luci~" Alastor practically sang as he walked into the Lucifer's office which was of course covered in ducks.

Lucifer peaked his head up as he heard Alastor approaching.

"Yes?" Lucifer asked turning around in his chair to look at the other man.

"It's time~" Alastor sang again.

"Time?" Lucifer asked.

"Yes remember my side of our deal" Alastor said sitting in another chair not too far away from Lucifer.

"Fuck you need it again already?" Lucifer groaned leaning back in his chair rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Yes I need your blood" Alastor sighed.

"Why do you even need it what good is it to a human?" Lucifer questioned suspiciously.

"That's for me to know dear~" Alastor sang.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and stood up when Alastor walked up to him and pushed on his chest forcing him to sit back down.

"Don't worry we can do it here darling~" Alastor said leaning over him.

"Stop calling me by pet names you have no right to" Lucifer scowled.

This had been happening since literally there first interaction Lucifer didn't understand really why Alastor wanted to use the names but it was definitely annoying him so much.

"Hm no" Alastor replied confidently grabbing Lucifer's arm and pulled up his sleeve up slightly higher than his elbow.

"Seriously why do you like calling me stupid names? If so annoying!" Lucifer kept complaining not even really noticing Alastor prepping him to take his blood.

Lucifer kept complaining just pissing Alastor off an ungodly amount. He picked up the needle and gently pressed it through his skin and into his vain. Though it didn't hurt much it still earned a yelp from Lucifer due to not expecting it at all!

"Fuck! Alastor what the hell!?" Lucifer barked.

"Hm~?" The simple noise reply from Alastor just made Lucifer even more pissed.

"You just stabbed me for with no warning asshole!" Lucifer shouted.

"Shut the fuck up and I'll warn you next time~" Alastor said his eye twitched but his stupid shit eating grin remained on his face.

Alastor was always smiling.

Always.

Not going to lie it's annoying to anyone who would see him. But to be honest it worried Lucifer. Why couldn't Alastor just show his real emotions and not just smiles? You could clearly tell when he got pissed off with a tone change or an eye twitch but other then that nothing. It was sad to always see him like this. But I guess if that was what Alastor wanted to do he sure as fuck wasn't going to have Alastor thinking he cared. Lucifer was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Alastor trying to talk to him.

"Lucifer!" Alastor finally shouted.

"Huh what?" Lucifer said escaping his thoughts.

"We're done I don't need anymore blood" Alastor repeated clearly annoyed.

"Oh ok" Lucifer replied.

"It's very pretty though" Alastor said picking up one of the vials of blood. "It's bright yellow and slightly glowing."

Lucifer gave him a strange look but shrugged it off but couldn't when he turned over to Alastor licking some blood off his fingers.

"What the fuck!?" Lucifer shouted.

"What it taste delicious~" Alastor said with a grin.

"Are you just taking my blood to drink it!?"

Lucifer said confused and a little grossed out.

"No no dear don't worry I'm using it for something else~" Alastor sang standing up grabbing his things.

"Stop calling me dear I'm not your dear!" Lucifer shouted as Alastor walked out of his office. "Urgh fuck him" he said turning back to his work staring at his work.

He picked up the wooden duck he was painting and sighed. Now what? Life was so boring when Alastor wasn't around.

[kohakhearts]

hey taylo my bestie hello please elaborate on the goh cubone jn subtle storytelling thingy

COMING TO THIS SUPER LATE SORRY MAN SCHOOL WAS KICKING MY ASS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING. IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED.

ok so jn015. our intro to goh's family unit, notably his parents. goh explains his dad is a systems engineer and his mom is a programmer. they work together and run their own company (and appear to be a two-man team, when we actually see them at work). right off the bat, ash is surprised that goh has to call to warn his parents he's coming home. goh essentially says he doesn't want to be a bother to them. he's very casual about the whole thing. it apparently doesn't bug him at all. in fact, he goes out of his way to get them and his grandmother gifts and generally seems to be looking forward to seeing them.

he IS disappointed when they turn out not to be home when he gets there, but in true pokemon anime fashion, this is not dwelled on for long. he says it's fine, he doesn't want to make his parents worry, and also his parents are great and scorbunny's gonna love them. so instead of moping about it, he goes out and gets involved in his little park adventure, where he runs into a cubone being targeted by a bunch of mankey.

this is the only time in the main-line anime that cubone's dex entry is given. it is not the first time a cubone has shown up, though, which is...strange, but i'll roll with it. here's what the dex says (sourced from bulbapedia):

Cubone, the Lonely Pokémon. A Ground type. Cubone wears a skull as a helmet, concealing its face as it sheds tears for its long-lost mother. It cries loudly to express its loneliness. It also always carries a long, thick bone.

REALLY interesting choice for Pokemon Of The Day (literally bc it's also the who's that pokemon feature) for the episode where we're introduced to goh's parents.

it's also like...obviously not the only time where we see goh decide to help a pokemon, but i do think that his captures (especially early on in the series) that are framed in this way (i.e. they span over the course of an episode, wherein he befriends the mon before catching it. he doesn't have many catches like this in the series!!) seem to serve a purpose of like, really emphasizing certain traits he shares. before this, we had scorbunny - who is a bit of a loner, kind of the "odd one out," but is determined and stubborn and doesn't really want charity, either (but latches very quickly on to the first human who shows a genuine interest in it). now, we have cubone. the lonely pokemon.

i feel that the WAY he approaches cubone is...interesting? like he's sad for it. his facial expressions are very telling. and this is the first time we see him choosing to help a pokemon without ash around (something we know he never really would've done before meeting ash; and i've mentioned this before, but i do think a lot of his "well, you can't just help pokemon because you think they need it, they need to learn to be independent and help themselves" attitude stems from the fact that he was forced to be independent and help himself from a young age. so i think it's actually pretty profound that one of his first major overtures to a pokemon without ash pushing him is in a situation where he is acting more the parent to his parents than the other way around. he's literally on the way to delivering them dinner to work. and his gift for them is gloves, because it's cold). that tells me he is really affected by what he's seeing. he's empathetic to it (he also never tells it to stop crying or anything when they're looking for its bone, which honestly doesn't seem all that in-character for him at this point. just look at the way he talks to scorbunny a few episodes later when it's trying to learn ember, right?)

anyway, this being the only time it gets a dex entry is already like, kind of in your face enough imo. but then he also catches it. and at the end of the episode, when his parents are talking in the kitchen (and notably they are, again, separate from the other characters - more so onlookers than active participants in the family), his dad specifically says this

like i don't know how much more obvious than that they can get with saying they were trying to draw a parallel between goh and cubone. but lonely - anyone can feel lonely. that's just one aspect of the comparison. cubone is lonely because it misses its mother. because it's an orphan.

isn't it a little...ironic...that goh's parents would be the ones drawing the comparison in the end? but that's the point, i think. i mean, goh's not an orphan. but his parents chose to continue living a lifestyle that reinforced his loneliness and ensured a degree of separation between them. they share with each other their concerns for him, but never voice those to him. obviously there's love on both sides, but emotionally speaking - there's next to no connection there. goh idolizes and idealizes his parents, and goes out of his way to take care of them; in turn, his parents share in a secret concern for his wellbeing and compensate for their guilt at making him feel isolated by supplying him with whatever they can materially (mr six computer monitor set-up in his bedroom at age 7. what the fuck). so he's not literally an orphan...but emotionally? well. that's a whole other can of wurmples :pensive:

anyway, tl;dr he's not a real orphan. but i'll give him the honour because he does kinda have that orphan complex going for him <3

[theygotlost]

the end of the watch 1.11: this is (not) discworld (episodes 7 and 8 double feature!)

sally shows up and accosts carrot in a bar restroom. no fucking joke she acts like one of those weird ageplay bitches on tik tok who do a disturbing little girl voice and pouty face. its literally fucking UNBEARABLE and i wanted to kill her so bad. btw she and death are the only characters with american accents.

vimes swaps bodies with Evil Vimes In Another Dimension, who's incarcerated in the tanty. he's thrown to "The Beast" for insubordination, which turns out to be Detritus

Detritus is apparently the "the best friend [vimes] ever had". they do a very heartfelt and slightly homoerotic forehead bump.

carrot and sybil are wardens of the tanty what i will refer to hereafter as the mirrorverse. mirrorverse carrot has a really scary middle part.

death asks carrot, angua, and cheery which one would be most likely to eat the others so he can "arrange his schedule". then he very shyly performs a 37 minute freestyle for them while playing the theremin.

in the mirrorverse carcer is captain of the watch after betraying vimes.

sybil somehow realizes vimes is an impostor when she kisses him. angua can also tell the impostor is sus by the type of aftershave he wears, which doesnt make sense bc they swapped minds and not physical bodies, so he would still be wearing the same aftershave???

this entire series has been building toward stopping the noble dragon but I genuinely forgot about the dragon because up to this point hasnt even been rampaging the city at all after the first episode? it just disappeared? and now its back?

vetinari locks himself in his "dungeon" which is actually a sick bachelor pad with sexy couches citing the line from gg that "you should never build a dungeon you would never want to stay in yourself". he chills out in a cunty red gown listening to jazz music. which tbh was pretty awesome

death asks to join vimes' emo band.

carcer stabs wonse for basically no reason.

throat dibbler is made head of the thieves guild.

carrot plans to lure the attention of the dragon bc he's a virgin and the dragon only attacks virgins. carrot has to learn to not be ashamed of his virginity like it's a gay coming-out narrative.

the matt berry talking sword requests to be worshipped as a "sex-ual deity"

im pretty sure angua they/thems cheery at some point but I might have just misheard her

in order to stop the dragon the watch puts on the best damn talent show ankh morpork has ever seen!!!! (they play in a rock band AGAIN.) cheery shreds the fuck out of the saxophone.

sybil intentionally sends goodboy out to seduce the dragon and it works.

carcer disintegrates from existence back to the future style and im still not sure why. the watch doesnt remember carcer and thinks wonse did all his crimes instead. as revenge wonse isekais vimes into an evil pocket dimension in what was likely meant to be a setup for a season 2 that will never happen.

and that's the show! many people have told me how brave i am for watching it and thanked me for my service but I want to be clear that i could NOT have done it on my own. this was a journey that @vampirejuno , @fealtyfaggot , and I embarked on TOGETHER. nico and ciarán deserve as much appreciation for their sacrifice as I do. ive also engaged in a lot of day drinking for this so sorry everypony please drink responsibly.

[gamebunny-advance]

Baseless NSR Theory #82: Gigi & Mystery Man

Y'all should know better than to get me hyped up about my own theories, but let's run with this since I haven't done one in a while.

---------

After thinking about it some more, I feel pretty confident that Gigi is NOT Mystery Man (MM). The stained-glass portraits are a little abstract from the characters they represent, but the broad strokes are always there. No character is depicted with a completely different skin hue, and Gigi's face and features are a little round for the angular MM.

Granted, given the mysterious nature of MM, I can't completely rule out that his portrait is an outlier. Let's consider that the only (human) characters depicted with gray skin are also the nameless NPCs: the ones that are almost literally supposed to be a part of the background. If MM's nature is truly about secrecy and blending in, then having a giant accurate portrait of him in your main office would probably work against that.

Still, in other "official" pieces of art depicting MM, he's always shown with sharp, angular features that Gigi just doesn't have, so I'm going to go forward with the assumption that Gigi and MM are not the same person.

(Art by Ddaddystar, a concept artist for No Straight Roads, Source: 1 | 2 | 3)

However, they could still be related in someway. It's possible that MM has underlings that help him with whatever he does. Even though we never see them, we know that DJSS has at least one other person working under him related to his work as a rocket scientist, so it's very possible that all or most of the other Megastars also have staff directly under them for their non-music roles in NSR.

If MM's role in NSR is related to secrecy, perhaps spying, given his stereotypical spy outfit, it's possible that MM has set several spies around the city to aid in that work.

(duckduckGo image search of "cartoon spy")

And since this is a setting that works on "cartoon logic" where the spies might have a uniform, it's possible that MM's underlings have calling cards connecting them to him. Perhaps, something like a hat and glasses and a toothy smile.

Oh, would you look at that.

Of the evidence that Gigi is working for NSR under MM, there isn't a lot to directly connect him to them. However, he has a few of the same, "he knows more than he should" moments that also implicated Kliff as untrustworthy in the opening parts of the game, so I do believe that the player is supposed to have some doubts about him even if it's only to be a red herring.

For starters, he's one of the few NPCs that force-triggers an interaction to continue the story. The same thing happens when Zam stops you to join the revolution. This implies that in both instances, it's the NPC stopping you to talk instead of vice versa. Given how casually they all talk to each other, the implication at this point is that he was friends with B2J before the events of the game, but as will be revealed later, this isn't actually the case.

Mayday and Zuke later mention that neither of them are actually familiar with Gigi and just assumed he was a friend of the other. This never gets commented on further, but it does confirm that Gigi is just so naturally charming that he infiltrated their friend circle without either of them really noticing until much later.

Mayday isn't even certain about his name while Zuke doesn't know it at all, implying that he may have never directly told them, or didn't tell them unless asked. This would be natural behavior if he assumed that they already knew his name, but then is this a case of Gigi also thinking that Mayday and Zuke are supposed to know him, like they've met in the past and B2J just forgot him, or is he purposefully concealing his identity?

Let's also consider the meaning of his name. "Gigi" in Malay translates to "teeth/tooth," an obvious reference to how his teeth are always showing. While it's possible that this is his real name, it's more likely that it's a nickname or an alias. So the matter is if he told Mayday that that's his name, or if she and others just started calling him that when they realized they didn't know his real name. Something like people originally calling him, "That guy who's always showing his teeth." then morphed into just calling him "teeth." Either way, he's concealing his true identity, which would be necessary for a spy.

I do assume that most of the time the characters are actually speaking Malay, but is shown in English for the benefit of the player. When Mayday encounters DK West, she doesn't ask why he speaks a different language, she asks why he speaks with a different accent, possibly implying that all the characters are actually speaking Malay, DK West just has a different dialect.

Both times Gigi stops you, it's to talk about how he's seen what B2J have been up to (first their audition and later their battle with Sayu) and to offer them a drink. He seems really insistent on giving them those drinks he offered, since after he was turned down the first time since B2J were busy, the next time he prepared for another rejection by having the drinks with him and just inviting himself to the underground hideout, which is supposed to be secret.

Granted, (I lost the source, but I swear this is at least *80% true), the reason why Kliff found out about the hideout without being directly told is that Mayday apparently posted that info online, so it's not impossible that Gigi found out about it the same way. B2J didn't react to him knowing about it the same way they did Kliff, but it's possible that by this point they realized that their hideout just wasn't as secret as they originally thought.

*I can't remember if it was just that she posted her phone number online so that's why Kliff was able to text her, or if she posted all their info. Either way, she's unintentionally created a paper trail that could lead people to her.

However, after he enters the hideout, Gigi is effectively written out of the game as he has no other interactions with B2J besides seeing them off when they leave.

This seems odd as the other two guys who join the hideout but do nothing (Robot and Yiruk) still appear above ground to talk, whereas the two guys that actually do something (Zam and Kliff) only appear underground after they're recruited. If Gigi also wasn't doing anything important in the sewers, then you'd think he'd also stay above ground to talk like the former group.

Unless he is doing something.

It's possible that Gigi is collecting intel in the hideout. Since Kliff is apparently already monitoring how the fights are going, Gigi could theoretically just get the info he needs from Kliff instead of directly watching himself as he appeared to do earlier. That would also give Gigi the time to focus on other areas of interest. Perhaps something like leaking B2J's main source of outside communication: Zam FM.

When Tatiana calls into the radio show, she admits that she's been spying on them the entire time, though by what means aren't elaborated on. At the time, the implication seems to be that she was just listening to the show, which theoretically could be listened to by anyone who knows their signal and wouldn't necessarily need additional spying to achieve, but that doesn't exempt that she could have had other spying methods.

Let's consider that Tatiana didn't consider B2J a threat until after DJSS's defeat, but doesn't get actually angry about them until Sayu's defeat. Gigi's first attempt to get info from B2J was directly after DJSS, but he failed to stop them from meeting with Kliff who gave B2J the tools to defeat Sayu. After Sayu, he finally just forces his way in, possibly as a response to Tatiana's rising stress over the situation.

However, I must concede that if Gigi truly is a spy for NSR/MM, then why wouldn't he report about Kliff's involvement? Even if he didn't know the personal history between him and Tatiana, I think it would be pretty important to report that they have a significant ally that they should keep tabs on and then naturally Kliff's involvement would make it to Tatiana.

But also keep in mind that in this theoretical, Gigi is still reporting to MM first. So if MM disregarded anything he deemed irrelevant and then sent that revised report to Tatiana, then Kliff's involvement could have been lost even if Gigi made note of him. The message could have been diluted from, "Kliff is an ally of B2J." to, "An information specialist is an ally of B2J."

It's not like NSR was trying to destroy B2J from the inside. NSR's main goal was to have B2J defeated by a megastar to strengthen NSR's political support/make an example of B2J, as to maintain order. To do this, they needed to prove EDM's superiority over rock by its own power. Using any sort of foul play to defeat B2J would conflict with those ideals and likely lead to chaos irrupting in the city had they won or even significantly hindered them in this way.

For example, an easy way to discombobulate B2J could have been to shut down Zam FM, which they actually tried to do before he got in contact with them. However, after he was able to get set up, there wasn't much they could do without rousing suspicion. Gigi theoretically could have taken down the show while he was there, but if something had suddenly happened to cut off B2J's communication with their fans, then the fans might suspect NSR of foul play and start revolting on their own or at least spread the word that this happened, which could weaken NSR's support.

With that in mind, Gigi's orders might have been to report on B2J's activities and plans, but not to directly interfere, thus explaining why B2J didn't have many major set-backs and why NSR didn't have any meaningful advantages over them even if they had someone on the inside.

In conclusion, I think there's a strong case that Gigi is actually an NSR spy, and a weaker but still compelling case that he's also connected to Mystery Man, who might be the director of NSR's spies.

[wrongcaitlyn]

about your series dear reader, will we ever get to see Nico having a collab or featured song in the future... heehe... love your work btw

thank u for the ask!! and thank u for reading i’m so glad you like it <3 i’ve actually thought abt this quite a bit!! the thing with collabs, is that either i could use an irl celebrity, or i could make a character a celebrity and make them work with nico—so here are my thoughts on both options:

1) a real celebrity - i try to stay away from involving real life people in the fic, as in interactions, because i don’t know any of those people irl and i would hate to, like, mischaracterize someone or write positively abt someone who eventually gets revealed to be like a shitty person, yk? the most i’ve ever done, i think, is that one time i mentioned nico taking a picture with lorde - but even then, it wasn’t him talking abt her, it was just a picture that was posted. that, and the absurd amount of taylor swift name drops that i have, which i will never stop😭

basically, though i have considered it (my mind is literally CONSTANTLY imagine collabs of nico and other celebs/other songs), i literally have a playlist of them, i don’t think i would ever include it in the fic. simply bc of the concerns mentioned above :/

(however, i would like everyone to know that ive been imagining nico as a surprise guest on the rep tour, and having him featured on rep tv, for like- literally as long as ive had this au in my head. ill never write him collating with taylor (bc again idk i just feel strange writing abt real ppl) but in my head, it’s canon)

2) creating a new celeb - this one is hard, pretty much bc i’m… out of characters.

like, i still HAVE characters to use, but i already have plans for most of them and a majority of them aren’t actually part of the music industry. i could justify a collab between alex and nico bc she’s like the only music person i have written, but i also don’t wanna force that

if i ever do, which i doubt, bc i don’t have any plans to at the moment, it’ll be a pjo character, i just don’t have any idea of who that would be :/

oh and! last reason why i’m hesitant to add a collab - i feel like nico writing music is so engrained with him working with apollo as a producer, and their studio dynamic. obviously, it’s good to step out of your comfort zone, but i think that it’s also some sense of caution and comfort between them, that they’re the same people who will work on every nico di angelo song and album.

either way, i have seven albums outlined in total. the time span of greatest of luxuries goes from 2018-2024. that may be subject to change, but im feeling pretty confident abt it (it used to be 2028 btw😭) and anything PAST that time range is completely up to the reader!! i have lots of ideas of what could happen beyond that seventh album, and i have an idea (and a playlist) of the eighth album, but i can definitely imagine a lot of features in the future as he branches out. (and also him on rep tv. or ttpd. will update when ttpd comes out if i think there’s a specific song he’d slay as a feature on)

and lastly, for features. yes. he is on the hunger games tbosas soundtrack bc i say so‼️

(i imagine yellow flicker beat by lorde, even tho that was written for mockingjay, i just feel like it fits his vibe, but also, can’t catch me now works perfectly too)

[jessepinwheel]

🤯😅⛔ for the emoji questions!

sorry for the delay on this one I literally forgot it was in my inbox

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

at the risk of sounding like an arrogant prick I don't feel like I struggle that much with most writing. writing stories are all pretty similar from a methodological standpoint I think, whether it's romance or action or horror, it's just a question of what kind of messages/emotion you want to get across through what strategies.

but that's not a super helpful answer. I guess things I don't really write a lot are romance? (although I'm not sure I'd say that either because relationships are a huge part of my stories, just not ones that involve kissing) and I guess also smut because I mostly find it boring and have no desire to write it

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

well there's like 6k of a Supernatural casefic in one of my folders featuring one of my OCs does that count?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

well probably the most prominent one is transistor, that one obi-wan time loop story that I wrote like 30k for and then decided to stop writing because making it the way I wanted it was either going to require deleting like 10k words or to go on for way too long

there's also an a companion piece to dielectric breakdown (called corona discharge) which was going to pretty much be a rex point of view story covering parts of the main story and how he dealt with cody leaving, but I decided that I was not adding anything useful enough to really follow through all the way

but besides that I have a lot of unfinished works in my writing folder that I'm not entirely sure I'll come back to but which I also haven't officially axed. to name a few:

jamais vu: the ace attorney fic where phoenix goes back in time and ends up pretending to be his own uncle

houndstooth: a blackwell series fic where after the events of the last game rosa has amnesia and now joey has to deal with both having a body and also that

entrainment: a bleach fic that's kind of a pokespe fusion where ichigo gets pokemon and also accidentally makes a contract with pokemon satan (giratina)

event horizon: the kirby fic in which meta knight deals with ptsd after being stuck in the mirror from amazing mirror

memento: a pokemon sun/moon fic in which nanu gets fucking owned and washes up on the shore amnesiac because unbeknownst to him he just got eaten by a dimensional wormhole and he appears to be in a world where he died or disappeared a long time ago

eutectic: a naruto fic where kakashi gets sent back in time to an alternate dimension where kannabi bridge went fine and alternate world kakashi grew up to be an asshole so our kakashi decides to solve the plot of naruto by causing problems on purpose (committing lots of murder) and making life really annoying for alternate world asshole kakashi and also becoming haku's murder dad

I have a lot of stories that will probably never see the light of day, y'all just don't see them since I don't post anything unless they're done or there's a really solid plan to finish them

send me fanfic writer emoji asks

[luukeskywalker]

J and Q for the asks!

J:  What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

i actually have! a few times in a few different ways! one of my favorite tropes/genres(?) is time travel - i guess what draws me to it is i love the concept of either a) messing up things in canon in an entirely different way, rather than fixing them, or b) confronting the future, and facing decisions another version of you may have made that you, from the past, don't agree with. there's so much interesting stuff to play with in time travel that i literally never find the bottom of the barrel of ideas to play with. sometimes it isn't even full time travel, like i have an old ass fic where darth vader fully loses his memory and reverts back to anakin skywalker (memories, though fair warning that fic is literally 8 years old and not indicative of my current skill LMFAO), along with more recent stuff like the skywalker palindrome which does feature time travel heavily, though it's not about fixing the past or saving the future as much as it is giving anakin and luke a really fucked up complicated relationship for my enjoyment. HAH. anyways time travel my beloved...i will never ever stop writing you<333

Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers?

I DO!! I LOVE GETTING PROMPTS FROM MY READERS!! it's a huge help when i'm feeling particularly writer's blocked, though sometimes it is a bit of a challenge if i haven't done a lot of active writing in a while...still, i love the challenge, i love writing, and i love trying to make it work. i've been considering opening up prompts lately since i have been feeling pretty blocked, i just usually like to find prompt lists so i can give people a choice and i have a set list of ideas to play around with.

THANK YOU!!!

(this is the fanfic writer ask meme!)

[thebestofoneshots]

☆ star

hello! first of all, congratulations for 400 followers (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧

personality: i would say i am pretty quiet and introverted for the most part, but i can get pretty loud and outgoing if i am around the right people or of i am comfortable enough. i am somewhat of a people pleaser, but recently gotten tired of people lowkey stepping all over me so i get described as 'cold' sometimes. i am open-minded, and am willing to try anything as long as it is in my realm of comfort. i can be pretty annoying at times with my sarcasm and dark humor- i am also the type of person to talk things out when i notice something off. gift giving is also something i am known for, whether it be handwritten letters or buying flowers, i love spoiling people. i can also come off as blunt sometimes, and am fairly resourceful and ambitious. once i set my mind on something, nothing can stop me until i do it. my mbti is intp-t, if that helps with anything. as well as being a libra, my rising sign is cancer, and my moon is scorpio.

appearance: a pathetic stature of 5'4, but i always always wear either heels or chunky platforms 😭 i am pretty lanky(curse you asian genetics). my original hair color is black, but i dyed it a bambi brown, planning on going blonde soon because i hate how black hair looks on my complexion. i have really dark brown eyes and have somewhat sharp features.

hobbies + things about me: i am a psychology student. i love reading, but if i am not reading i am doing anything that has to do with art in a way. i write occasionally, only letters to friends and loved ones, and wrote few love letters here and there. i am also a cosplayer. i pretty much live in thrift stores at this point. i am currently learning sewing and hair cutting(?) because of cosplay stuff(it's an expensive hobby, okay? 😭). i also paint alot, mostly with watercolours and as gifts to friends and crushes. my aesthetic is basically the rockstar gf aesthetic, i live, breathe, eat in black clothes and eyeliner. i also do makeup alot, both on myself and other people. i do my family members' makeup for events and such, and my classmates literally line up so i can do makeup on them during lunch break. that also applies to hair. i love love love flowers, i would own a garden if i wasn't broke and lazy. i love making tiny trinkets out of paper or clay. currently learning how to play the guitar. lastly, i am a polyamorous pansexual demigirl.

once again, congratulations for 400 followers! and i am looking forward to reading more of your works. hope you have a lovely day/night. (ง ˙˘˙ )ว

If you want to participate in "TBOS' 400 Followers Celebration" too, you can look at this post for all the options of prompts you can choose from <3

I'm not gonna lie, this was hard. I just... I wanted to ship you with so many people; it was a bit of a struggle. (For real, even as I’m writing it, I'm second-guessing myself whether my choice was right.) But I ship you with Sirius, Remus, and James.

Sirius was the first one to fall for you. It all started at a Halloween party. You decided to go all out for your costume and really worked on all of the details to make it perfect. Sirius was completely hypnotized as he saw you prepare every single piece to a tee, and he wanted his costume to be as good as yours, so he asked you for help.

He even wanted you to do his makeup for the party. You sort of agreed. Secretly, having been dying to put makeup on the boy for a while – he just had such a pretty face. As you were doing his makeup and leaning so close to him, he started noticing you a bit more. When he saw you with a leather jacket, he was done for. You were just... perfect.

Sirius didn't tell anyone about his crush at first. It wasn’t until Moony realized something was off that he spilled the beans. By then, Remus had become pretty close to you. One, because Sirius was around you all the time, and two, because he thought you were very funny. There was something about your dark humor –always making fun of misery, including your own– that just made him laugh, and laugh and laugh, over and over. He thought you were absolutely hilarious, and for that, a total pleasure to be around. But he also liked how the two of you could hang out together without talking, just quietly reading a book side by side in the common room.

“I think we both have a crush on the same girl,” he told his friend in a serious tone. “What are we gonna do about it?”

“Let’s just both date her, at the same time,” Sirius said as a joke.

But Remus actually thought about it. “Hold up! It’s not such a terrible idea, if she wants to, of course…”

Lo and behold, the next day, you had two boys confessing their love for you, at the same time, and proposing something you had only considered in dreams, and in some interesting books you’d stolen from the restricted section of the library. You didn’t even think twice; you told them you’d try.

Since you were spending so much time with the boys, either chilling or making out in their room, you just naturally grew closer to their friends. One day, when you went to visit the boys, you found James in their room, playing the guitar. You were absolutely enthralled by it and asked him if he could teach you. James, being James, said yes, and you started your lessons together. Every Tuesday and Thursday, you’d meet in their room, and you’d go through the chords. At first, it was a little hard, but eventually, with James’ patience and Remus' encouragement, it became a lot easier. Even if Sirius was always demanding your attention after the classes, he claimed you spent way too much time with James.

And that’s how you started to feel guilty because even when you had the most perfect boyfriends, you felt like you were being greedy by falling in love with their friend. Remus was the one to notice something was wrong – Remus always notices. He realized when you prepared your Christmas present, a watercolor piece for each of your friends. But you had spent so much time on James’ piece, so much more than you’d spent on Lily’s or Marlene’s. In fact, you’d spent almost as much time as you’d spent on his and Sirius’. And then there were the letters. Both Sirius and he got 5-page letters, while most of your friends had gotten shorter ones, around 2 or 3 pages long. James’ was 7 pages long.

“You like him, don’t you?” He asked you one day as you were cuddling, he was playing with your hands.

“Sorry?”

“James. You like James.”

You sat up abruptly. “I– I know I’m the worst.” You said as you hid your face in your legs.

Remus, ever so understanding, sat up beside you and started to rub circles on your back, “Does that mean you stopped liking us?” he asked, amost choking on the words.

“I would never!” You said with a gasp, turning to him.

Remus nodded. “Then what’s happening to you is the exact same thing that happened to me. I liked Sirius, you know? Long before liking you.”

You nodded; he’d told you about it before. “I’m so greedy.”

Remus chuckled. “I don’t think you’re greedy,” he said reassuringly. “Why don’t you talk to him?”

“No way in hell.”

“I’m pretty sure he likes you back too.”

“Impossible.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You do know James is one of my best friends, right?” You nodded. “Then trust me.”

And you did. You talked to James after the Christmas break – well, you talked to Sirius first, and he had only smiled at you and said, “The more, the merrier.” Sirius was such a flirt.

James had actually been happy to hear that he hadn’t just been delusional, making up the connection in his head. And you somehow, he joined your chaotic but functional relationship with the boys.

Remus would bring you flowers once a week, leaving them on your desk, on top of a book, or even on the spot you always took in the library. James would take you on morning flights every now and then, and Sirius? He just loved cuddling with you. He liked it best when you played with his hair, tested funny hairstyles, or when you offered to do his makeup or paint his nails. He’d sometimes complain about you using him as a test doll, but he secretly loved how spoiled you made him feel all the time.

Other people I considered for you: Marlene Mckinnon and Lily Evans.

A/N: Hope you like this lil thing I made for you darling, and omg, this may come out super forward, but I’ve got a friend crush on you? Like, girl! I’m also into cosplay  (I freakin' love dressing up) and painting, both on canvas and my face; and obviously, very clearly, I really like the marauders. And we’re even the same MBTI? What?! If you’ve seen Anne with an E, or read the books, you might be familiar with the term kindred spirits, but like, in other words... I feel like we’re in the same wavelength? Either way, if you actually do want to be my friend, send me DM! I’d be the one to send you one, but you’re anon so, I kind of can’t hehe (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)

Sending you great vibes, Lily xxx

MASTERLIST

[bitchylandtyphoon]

Type - Pt.1

Oliver Wells x shyish reader

You silently watched Angela press the icons on her tablet and demonstrate each one’s purpose. It’s been a few hours, and you’ve learned so much. She was a good teacher. “Ok, so if you want to upload a sketch and compare it to the international database,” she points her manicured finger to the screen. “Choose this option, but if you want a certain country's database, pick this option and scroll through the list.” She looks at you to see if you understand, and you simply nod.

“Ok, great. I think that's enough for today. Do you wanna grab lunch with me? Brennan’s with Booth, and Hodgin’s still working.” She asks as she puts her coat on.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” You reply as you grab your belongings. Dr. Saroyan has recently hired you to be the assistant face reconstructor and tech helper since she cut Angela’s hours. Working on the small cases when she was off. You were also new to the city and had to make new friends, adapting to the new area. You were really glad Angela was such a nice person, she was the first person your introverted self really got to know. 

“SO,” Angela exclaimed. “Have you met anyone?” She asked with a cheeky grin and teasing tone. You shy away “ Oh, please. Do you know how hard it was to talk to Finn, If I can’t talk to him, how am I going to talk to others, let alone other guys.” You slung your bookbag over your shoulder as you both exited her office. “Come on, you’re literally the hottest chick here, there is no way you couldn’t at least get some guy's attention.” 

“I-, well thank you but guys like confident and hot girls like you, not when they're shy as a preschooler.” “So step out of your bubble, what can go wrong?” Angela stops and looks at you desperately.

You stop to look at her. “I’ll make a fool of myself.” Looking down, you continued walking until you felt your shoulder bashed. “Oh, I’m sorry-” “Can’t you look where you walk?” He says with an irritated tone, looking back at you with a scowl. You took in his features in the quick second you had; untamed brown wavy hair, brown eyes, lean physique. For a rude dude, he was pretty attractive.  

“Hey, it was just an accident. Don’t need to be a douche.” Angela steps in, and you mentally note to thank her later, knowing you would've walked away as usual. 

“Yes, it’s my fault that they had their head down, and chose to walk instead of paying attention to others.” He proceeded to walk away.

“I can’t believe men like him are allowed to exist,” Angela rolled her eyes and peered at you. “Are you okay, though?” She asks as her hand touches your upper arm.

“No, I’m okay.” You gave her a small smile, you both walked towards the exit.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been a couple of days since the encounter with the douche, but you couldn’t forget about him. Something was alluring about him, and you didn’t know if it was your bad taste in men or his pretty brown eyes and harsh persona. 

You are currently sitting in Angela’s office, finishing up a sketch of the current victim. She was believed to have been murdered over 30 years ago, a simple librarian. You analyzed the skull and sketched faint lines and the arch of the victim's cheekbones. Even though you had the identity down, you wanted to practice.

“Hey” “Angela? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be preparing for Brenann’s wedding?” You inquired, hearing loud noises from the platform. “Listen, I need you to do me a favour and quickly get this done, especially before Brenann’s wedding,” She replied

Yeah, of course, what is it?” “Basically, Brennan is getting worried, and she’s not gonna have a calm wedding without this case being done. And I need you because I need someone to help the interns recreate a scenario. Would you be able to do that?” Oh my gosh, that's what all the noise is. You peered through the glass and saw all the interns, including the douche. You internally groaned, you were only familiar with the team, and getting used to the new interns is a whole ‘nother level. “Listen, I really need it, and I know you’re not comfortable with them, but they really aren't that bad. Just imagine them as a pack of smart and horny virgins, except for Wendell and Clark, the virgin part.” “How do you even know- oh right, you and Wendell.” You looked down at your sketch. You know it would be awkward at first, but it’d be a great way to meet them all. Plus, you're as good as Angela with her program. It’d be fine. You exhaled, you knew you were going to regret it.

You looked at Angela, she had her desperate look on; eyebrows scrunched, slightly hunched, head tilted. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“OMG, thank you so much. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” She quickly dashes out of her room, and you watch through the glass as she talks to the interns. 

You hoped you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of the smart dorks, it’s already embarrassing in front of the douche. You quickly gathered yourself and continued drawing the victim's face.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That's quite an impressive drawing.” You jumped as you felt someone's breath hit your shoulder. “Ha, thank you-” You turned around to meet the eyes of the douche from before, groaning internally.

“The zygomatic arch is too high, though, and the eyes are too close.” He rambled on while you took the criticism. You didn’t mind, you knew he was just trying to help or simply belittle you.

“Right, thanks…” You proceeded to take a picture of the drawing to compare it to the actual victim's face.

“I’ll be taking the skull now.” He grabs the tray with the skull on it, walking away quickly. He didn’t even ask you, you rolled your eyes. 

“Hi there, you must be the new mini Angela. I’m Fisher, one of the better-looking interns.” He introduced himself, a flirty smile appearing. 

“Oh, hi. It’s Y/N and yeah, I guess I am.” You laughed a little, liking his manners.

Well, Y/N, here are the inputs for the Angelatron. If you need anything, and I mean anything. I’m your guy.” He winks as he hands you a file. Well, thank you, I’ll take that into consideration.” You grabbed the file and watched as he walked away, taking a quick glance as he exited the office. Well, that was weird.” You chuckled to yourself, tucking your hair behind your ear. Your face feels hot. —----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You finished creating the scenario in about half an hour, driven by the relief you’ll feel after finishing the case. You had concluded the victim fell downstairs and even found the building that matched the injuries. Now that you have completed your work, you have to consult with the interns. You walked to the door and inhaled. Gosh, why couldn’t this be easy? You slowly walked towards the platform, already feeling the sweat form in your palms. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP. The alarm went off as you climbed the platform, startling the interns and causing them to look at you. You were frozen and felt the heat rushing to your face. “Hah, don’t worry, I got you.” You watched as a young, pale man with blue eyes, blonde hair, and a strong build jogged toward you and swiped his card to stop the ringing. “It’s okay, it happens to everyone.” He sheepishly smiles, his eyes giving you comfort.

You continue to walk the stairs. “Thank you, uh.” “The name’s Wendell, nice to meet you.” He holds out his palm. “Fisher told us about you.” You shake his hand, feeling the calloused palm but a strong grip. You hoped he didn’t feel your sweaty palms. You watch as Wendell receives a glare and “dude” from Fisher. You shyly laugh, glancing at the rest of the interns; they do seem friendly-, not that one. The douche doesn’t even glance at you, ignoring him, you gave your attention to the rest of the interns.

“I just finished the scenario with the given inputs, just wanted to check if it was right.” You patted yourself on the back for correctly saying what you rehearsed. “I also got the set of stairs the victim fell down.”

The interns all looked at each other, You didn’t mess up, did you? Ugh, good job, Y/N; you just wasted their time. They talked with each other, using terminology you sort of understood. 

“How did you know it was a flight of stairs?” A handsome and tall brown-skinned man asked.

“I knew it was stairs, you guys, you didn't give me a chance to talk” A petite white woman squeaked.

“Daisy, all you ever do is talk,” Fisher stated, making the other interns snicker.

“It was the computer, really.” To avoid attention and the need to talk, you said. You walked back to the office, hearing their voices behind you. You picked up the tablet and played the scenario. “It’s the right scenario.” You nervously looked at the intern who spoke, it was the douche. But you couldn’t lie, approval from him was keeping you calm.

“What is the point of us if a machine figured out what six interns couldn't?” Dr.Clark exclaimed, and you giggled at his point.  

Well, thank you very much for consulting us,” Fisher said in a flirty tone. “Would you care for a cup of coffee later?” Your eyes widened as his tall complexion hovered over you. “Oh, um, well-” You nervously bit your lip as you felt the interns stare at you both.

“Come on, man, she just helped us. Do you want her to despise us next?” You watched as Arastoo pulled Fisher toward the door.

Ugh, come on, I haven’t been with a hot chick in a while; give me a break!” Fisher shouted as his voice began to break. You blushed at his compliment.

The interns began to leave, and with each one gone, you felt the relief you were looking forward to. 

“You lied.” 

You turned towards the rude intern, surprised to know he acknowledge your work. You crossed your arms and demanded proof. 

“The Angelatron cannot create solutions; it can only display the imputed information. You had to conclude that the victim fell down the stairs. Why didn’t you say that?” He demanded.

“I just didn’t think it was relevant, plus I didn't want to boast in front of a bunch of geniuses.” You turned off the Angelatron and started packing your things. 

“Boasting isn’t bad to do once in a while.” 

Well, that’s coming from a guy who doesn’t do anything but boasts,” You said as you walked past him, giving him a glare.

He grabs your arm. Unlike Wendell’s, his hands were soft and cold, giving you chills going down your back and butterflies in your stomach. You looked back at the sudden contact.

“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened the other day. I will try to be better.” He tried to give you a smile but ended up looking like he was constipated. You just knew Angela was up to this.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” You gave him a proper smile.

“Seriously Wells? I was starting to like you.” You both turn your heads to see Fisher, looking at Wells’ hand holding your arm. You took your arm back, trying to conceal the blush on your face. As you were about to reply to Fisher, he got stolen by Arastoo again. You giggled, knowing these two would be good company. You began to walk away.

“Would you go on a date with-” You hoped he said himself  “Fisher?”

You stopped. “No,” you say, turning your face to glance at Wells, “he’s not my type.” He watched as you disappeared from his view, exhaling the breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He smiled to himself as he felt his heart beating out of excitement. Could he be your type?