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#literally ALL of my classes are in the same building
acesammy · 1 month
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man. so the engineering department at my school (which i am a part of) has put soooo much money into buildings and equipment in the last 10 years and i literally don't have a single class on that side of campus
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what does it say about me if i cry about frankenstein’s creature every time i get even slightly tipsy
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roimp · 2 years
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SO TODAY....
(THIS IS ONLY FOR ROSE)
#ok so like we had first 2 classes free ok like literally both the teachers did not come akshsjdh#anyways so like on wednesday 2-3 people in our class were discussing himym and i also joined them because I LOVE HIMYM#(himym is the sitcom how i met your mother)#sp hands guy heard us and was like what show are yall talking about and we told him and he was like okay ill watch#and he is a binge watcher apparently so like when we met today he was like ive watched till ep16 of season1#i was like bro????? how?????#anyways in 2nd free lecture he was like im gonna watch an episode of himym and i was like i wanna watch too#SO he gave me one of his earpods and WE WATCHED THE EPISODE TOGETHER AKSGSJDH#anyways after that hmm okay it was just like normal talking and all#but ya. TALKING.🤭#he is just like me he is also doesnt care about tea or coffee he is a water guy#HE ALSO HAS CAT. AND HE HAS SAME OPINION AND THOUGHTS ABOUT DOGS THAT I HAVE.#and when class was over me and some friends were talking by the shops near our classes ka buliding and hands guy joined later#and then we all group talked timepass for like 30 mins and then we were like its time to go home#so apparently the others all went one direction and me and hands guy were going same direction so we walked#so usually what i do is i walk a bit ahead of my class ka building because i get auto from there#and hands guy lives nearby so he just walks home#so today we were walking and talking and i walked SO much further more than i usually do because we were talking 😄#and thats all. today was nice.#gargi is keysmashing
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dearreader · 1 year
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and the arguments that i have won against you in my head; in the car, in the shower, and in the mirror before bed…
yeah i’m so tough when i’m alone and i make you feel so guilty and i fantasize about a time you’re a little fuckin’ sorry-
and i try to ꪊꪀᦔꫀ𝕣ડ𝕥ꪖꪀᦔ why you would do this all to me. ‘you must be insecure. you must be so unhappy.’
and i know in my heart: hurt people, hurt people. and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were
ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴇQᴜᴀʟ!!
and i try to be tough. but i wanna scream ‘HOW COULD ANYBODY DO THE THINGS YOU DID SO EASILY?’
and i say that i don’t care.
say that i’m fine.
but you know i can’t let it go, i’vetriedi’ve triedi’vetried for so long… it takes s⃞   t⃞   r⃞   e⃞   n⃞   g⃞   t⃞   h⃞ to forgive but i don’t feel ₛₜᵣₒₙg
#which ever hacker leaked my notes app rants i used as diaries to olivia rodrigo to write this song owe me an apology#no but the fact that she literally put thoughts and feelings and things i’ve done when i’m completely alone#things that i hate because i hate the power it means people still have over me#and she just put it down and released it to the world#she perfectly summarized my two year battle alone with dealing with my trauma in a single song#especially the ‘how could anybody do the things you did so easily?’#because everything i’ve ever said on the situation leaves people speechless and it also makes me realize just how bad it was#like she infiltrated every friend group in a sorority just to get VP and then (maybe unintentionally) turned everyone against me#because she hated me and warned everyone not to be like me (one of my friebds told me she intentionally distanced herself from me because#people thought she’d be the next ‘kelly’ and be annoying and she said she didn’t want that for her. and i’m not even mad at her#because i probably would’ve done the same thing if the tables were turned.) and she did this all while my father was DYING of the most#aggressive form of brain cancer OR had just died#and even tried to comfort me 2 days after he died by saying ‘i was allowed to feel this was because i would be feeling it for the rest of#my life’#she did everything to me#tried to steal my best friend and drive a wedge between us#destroy the relationship i’d built with my pledge class that the sorority insisted on building and developing for each pledge class#made fun of me liking taylor swift#reminded me constantly i wasn’t wanted in the sorority#belittled my knowledge of things and automatically assumed if i said something it was false until a second party agreed with me#she just did all that without batting an eye#told me to my face and over text she never did anything wrong#like… the song just describes it perfectly#pinky tag#kelly babels#sorority tag#the grudge#kelly listens to music
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I’m so tired of my physics lab group because it’s me and then a bunch of guys who went to the same Christian high school in the same town as my university and they just talk about guns all the time.
Today one guy was telling a story about his cousin who’s in Communications so the professors are more liberal so she has to deal with them “talking about pronouns and crap.” Same guy has a sticker on his phone that says “I support FREE SPEECH not ~POLITICAL CORRECTNESS~”
Of course they were all talking about the Citadel shooting in Nashville too and how the shooter was trans.
@the-starlight-papers
#idk if it’s better or worse than my engineering class with the professor who makes a decent number of off color jokes#and is constantly toeing the line of what would get him reported to administration#some guy in engineering class today literally said ‘I’m racist’ and even that professor was like 😬#engineering ​professor also told some kid who was mouthing off that ‘you make me wish I wasn’t pro life’#engineering professor then started joking that he was going to snap one day because of said kid and then asked us where we would run#I hate engineering sometimes because it’s majority male and majority white#so some people feel like they can just say anything#idk if I’ve mentioned this but I got to college in the south and my school has literally stopped naming residence halls after peopld#and also buildings#they’re all named after their geographic locations#ie Hilltop East and Hilltop West or South English Building#(those are all made up btw but the real ones are basically the same idea)#it also sucks sometimes because sometimes I’m in a student engineering team lab working on a project#and then the guy I’m in the lab working with alone is looking at a flyer for a transphobic speaker coming to campus#in the groupme for the organization that’s bringing him#and then I have to worry about is it safe for me to work on this project with this guy#and it’s been fine so far mostly because we either talk about the project or classes or nothing at all#and I don’t want to join the women in engineering clubs because I’m not a woman#and for my engineering team I’m worried I’ll be the token trans person and they’ll want to put me in their social media outreach or somethin#which maybe if we were back in my home state I’d agree#but here heck no#like I’m fine 95% of the time and then there’s the 5% of the time that makes me realize that what’s acceptable here is fucked up sometimes#and I should probably start standing up to some of these people and saying something#but also I have to keep working with these people and I want to make working with them as painless as possible#there’s been other things lately that have been fucked up too that are kinda specific to the point where I can’t share them here#but yeah#anyways psa to any NMS reading this#if you’re looking at going to a college that offers really generous full rides to all NMS#think about why they’re so desperate to get good student to come to their school
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futureghost97 · 2 years
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rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow
#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment#I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR#and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021)#they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say#it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me#and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is#all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school#and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you#everyone keeps calling out of work#we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year#and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting.#but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB#(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me)#I have this terrible suspicion that ​I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school.#I just… I’m exhausted all the time#and I act like I’m not but I am#this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers)#but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it#when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking#I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today#I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons#I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to#I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7#and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am#he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me#tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers
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inkskinned · 9 months
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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medicinemane · 1 month
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Jesus fucking christ I get tired of sitting here and hearing my dad loudly ripping ass from the other room
Like listen, I get it, I get that you can't control your guts. Like fuck, for a while... as in like months, I was having trouble even leaving the house... still no clue what was even up which makes me feel like my theory about not eating enough is in the lead given... haven't found any allergies I can identify
So I get it and have sympathy (and fear inheriting my dad's guts), but... it's just so fucking gross man
And it's also like... maybe I'm eating, maybe I'm watching a show... whatever it is the mood's kinda ruined by this just... it almost literally couldn't be louder or grosser
I get you can't control your guts but... do something... anything... see a doctor or... anything
It's just nasty. He's not a bad person, but my dad's just a nasty dude
#and it's not like he means to be; he's just... fucking clueless and... just always finds the way to be gross as possible#he drives the uhaul up here and... of course there's piss bottles... awesome#he walks around scratching his nuts; and it's not like... discreet; it's great big raking motions up and down#it's not like he's got no class or something; it's not like he's some hick with it#imagine a fairly well spoken pseudo academic that's just... crass and nasty all the time without even realizing it#I just... I get tired of it#it's better than my mom by far; at least he helps and means well and knows I'd rather live alone#but fucking hell#and what's more... just imagine if I ever let someone crash here... then he's disgusting someone that's not even family; you know?#I like having... I'd love to have my dad as a neighbor#but I fucking hate having him in the same building; being disgusting#walking in and just kinda peeking through the door; not like in a surveillance kinda way; just a... being dumb and clueless#not getting why that's not cool to do to someone#and then just walking up and blather at me when it's like... if I have food; do not talk to me#if I'm typing; do not talk to me#if I'm watching something; do not talk to me#honestly a lot of the people I know on tumblr could probably break those rules cause I'd be like 'sure; come it; lets talk'#but you also probably would take the hint if I just was busy; and you're also not ripping ass outside my door all the time#one time he literally did it right behind my fan... so guess what that fucking does?#and he just doesn't understand#very smart guy; and despite that very stupid#like I'm kinda clueless; I don't think I always pick up cues well#...certainly can often feel like... everything's risking getting snapped at#cause it'll seem like on thing I do will get huge laughs from someone and they love it#and then almost the exact same thing seems to piss them off... I don't know... I may just be bad at shit#but at least if I have to scratch my groin near other people I'll kinda try and get to a corner and do it discreetly#not fucking rake things while talking with people... are you kidding? that should be so obvious not to be ok#and the shitty thing is... I don't think I've ever done more than imply it; but that recurring infection is right on the taint; dead center#that's why they don't want to touch it; that's why when it flairs up I can hardly walk... but it also itches like hell sometimes#so I probably end up feeling something similar to if not identical to what my dad feels... and alone in my room is one thing
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Red Lobster was killed by private equity, not Endless Shrimp
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For the rest of May, my bestselling solarpunk utopian novel THE LOST CAUSE (2023) is available as a $2.99, DRM-free ebook!
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A decade ago, a hedge fund had an improbable viral comedy hit: a 294-page slide deck explaining why Olive Garden was going out of business, blaming the failure on too many breadsticks and insufficiently salted pasta-water:
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/940944/000092189514002031/ex991dfan14a06297125_091114.pdf
Everyone loved this story. As David Dayen wrote for Salon, it let readers "mock that silly chain restaurant they remember from their childhoods in the suburbs" and laugh at "the silly hedge fund that took the time to write the world’s worst review":
https://www.salon.com/2014/09/17/the_real_olive_garden_scandal_why_greedy_hedge_funders_suddenly_care_so_much_about_breadsticks/
But – as Dayen wrote at the time, the hedge fund that produced that slide deck, Starboard Value, was not motivated by dissatisfaction with bread-sticks. They were "activist investors" (finspeak for "rapacious assholes") with a giant stake in Darden Restaurants, Olive Garden's parent company. They wanted Darden to liquidate all of Olive Garden's real-estate holdings and declare a one-off dividend that would net investors a billion dollars, while literally yanking the floor out from beneath Olive Garden, converting it from owner to tenant, subject to rent-shocks and other nasty surprises.
They wanted to asset-strip the company, in other words ("asset strip" is what they call it in hedge-fund land; the mafia calls it a "bust-out," famous to anyone who watched the twenty-third episode of The Sopranos):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bust_Out
Starboard didn't have enough money to force the sale, but they had recently engineered the CEO's ouster. The giant slide-deck making fun of Olive Garden's food was just a PR campaign to help it sell the bust-out by creating a narrative that they were being activists* to save this badly managed disaster of a restaurant chain.
*assholes
Starboard was bent on eviscerating Darden like a couple of entrail-maddened dogs in an elk carcass:
https://web.archive.org/web/20051220005944/http://alumni.media.mit.edu/~solan/dogsinelk/
They had forced Darden to sell off another of its holdings, Red Lobster, to a hedge-fund called Golden Gate Capital. Golden Gate flogged all of Red Lobster's real estate holdings for $2.1 billion the same day, then pissed it all away on dividends to its shareholders, including Starboard. The new landlords, a Real Estate Investment Trust, proceeded to charge so much for rent on those buildings Red Lobster just flogged that the company's net earnings immediately dropped by half.
Dayen ends his piece with these prophetic words:
Olive Garden and Red Lobster may not be destinations for hipster Internet journalists, and they have seen revenue declines amid stagnant middle-class wages and increased competition. But they are still profitable businesses. Thousands of Americans work there. Why should they be bled dry by predatory investors in the name of “shareholder value”? What of the value of worker productivity instead of the financial engineers?
Flash forward a decade. Today, Dayen is editor-in-chief of The American Prospect, one of the best sources of news about private equity looting in the world. Writing for the Prospect, Luke Goldstein picks up Dayen's story, ten years on:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-05-22-raiding-red-lobster/
It's not pretty. Ten years of being bled out on rents and flipped from one hedge fund to another has killed Red Lobster. It just shuttered 50 restaurants and declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Ten years hasn't changed much; the same kind of snark that was deployed at the news of Olive Garden's imminent demise is now being hurled at Red Lobster.
Instead of dunking on free bread-sticks, Red Lobster's grave-dancers are jeering at "Endless Shrimp," a promotional deal that works exactly how it sounds like it would work. Endless Shrimp cost the chain $11m.
Which raises a question: why did Red Lobster make this money-losing offer? Are they just good-hearted slobs? Can't they do math?
Or, you know, was it another hedge-fund, bust-out scam?
Here's a hint. The supplier who provided Red Lobster with all that shrimp is Thai Union. Thai Union also owns Red Lobster. They bought the chain from Golden Gate Capital, last seen in 2014, holding a flash-sale on all of Red Lobster's buildings, pocketing billions, and cutting Red Lobster's earnings in half.
Red Lobster rose to success – 700 restaurants nationwide at its peak – by combining no-frills dining with powerful buying power, which it used to force discounts from seafood suppliers. In response, the seafood industry consolidated through a wave of mergers, turning into a cozy cartel that could resist the buyer power of Red Lobster and other major customers.
This was facilitated by conservation efforts that limited the total volume of biomass that fishers were allowed to extract, and allocated quotas to existing companies and individual fishermen. The costs of complying with this "catch management" system were high, punishingly so for small independents, bearably so for large conglomerates.
Competition from overseas fisheries drove consolidation further, as countries in the global south were blocked from implementing their own conservation efforts. US fisheries merged further, seeking economies of scale that would let them compete, largely by shafting fishermen and other suppliers. Today's Alaskan crab fishery is dominated by a four-company cartel; in the Pacific Northwest, most fish goes through a single intermediary, Pacific Seafood.
These dominant actors entered into illegal collusive arrangements with one another to rig their markets and further immiserate their suppliers, who filed antitrust suits accusing the companies of operating a monopsony (a market with a powerful buyer, akin to a monopoly, which is a market with a powerful seller):
https://www.classaction.org/news/pacific-seafood-under-fire-for-allegedly-fixing-prices-paid-to-dungeness-crabbers-in-pacific-northwest
Golden Gate bought Red Lobster in the midst of these fish wars, promising to right its ship. As Goldstein points out, that's the same promise they made when they bought Payless shoes, just before they destroyed the company and flogged it off to Alden Capital, the hedge fund that bought and destroyed dozens of America's most beloved newspapers:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/16/sociopathic-monsters/#all-the-news-thats-fit-to-print
Under Golden Gate's management, Red Lobster saw its staffing levels slashed, so diners endured longer wait times to be seated and served. Then, in 2020, they sold the company to Thai Union, the company's largest supplier (a transaction Goldstein likens to a Walmart buyout of Procter and Gamble).
Thai Union continued to bleed Red Lobster, imposing more cuts and loading it up with more debts financed by yet another private equity giant, Fortress Investment Group. That brings us to today, with Thai Union having moved a gigantic amount of its own product through a failing, debt-loaded subsidiary, even as it lobbies for deregulation of American fisheries, which would let it and its lobbying partners drain American waters of the last of its depleted fish stocks.
Dayen's 2020 must-read book Monopolized describes the way that monopolies proliferate, using the US health care industry as a case-study:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu
After deregulation allowed the pharma sector to consolidate, it acquired pricing power of hospitals, who found themselves gouged to the edge of bankruptcy on drug prices. Hospitals then merged into regional monopolies, which allowed them to resist pharma pricing power – and gouge health insurance companies, who saw the price of routine care explode. So the insurance companies gobbled each other up, too, leaving most of us with two or fewer choices for health insurance – even as insurance prices skyrocketed, and our benefits shrank.
Today, Americans pay more for worse healthcare, which is delivered by health workers who get paid less and work under worse conditions. That's because, lacking a regulator to consolidate patients' interests, and strong unions to consolidate workers' interests, patients and workers are easy pickings for those consolidated links in the health supply-chain.
That's a pretty good model for understanding what's happened to Red Lobster: monopoly power and monopsony power begat more monopolies and monoposonies in the supply chain. Everything that hasn't consolidated is defenseless: diners, restaurant workers, fishermen, and the environment. We're all fucked.
Decent, no-frills family restaurant are good. Great, even. I'm not the world's greatest fan of chain restaurants, but I'm also comfortably middle-class and not struggling to afford to give my family a nice night out at a place with good food, friendly staff and reasonable prices. These places are easy pickings for looters because the people who patronize them have little power in our society – and because those of us with more power are easily tricked into sneering at these places' failures as a kind of comeuppance that's all that's due to tacky joints that serve the working class.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/23/spineless/#invertebrates
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timetravellingkitty · 7 months
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everyday i see clueless westerners (especially white people) peddle thinly veiled hindutva propaganda which they wouldn't know cause they know absolutely nothing about what goes on in india. so here are some signs that that the person you're talking to is a hindu nationalist:
they either do not acknowledge casteism or claim that caste is a western construct. my personal favourite however is dismissing anyone bringing up caste discrimination by saying that the indian constitution outlaws untouchability. they may also bring up the fact that the prime minister belongs to an other backwards class (obc) so clearly india has moved on from caste and hindutva isn't only for the upper castes. they possess a shallow understanding of caste
harping on about "islamic colonisation" : no, the mughals did not colonise india. when you point this out, they will immediately assume that you think muslim invaders were innocent beings who did nothing wrong, which is very much not what anyone is claiming here
while we're on the topic of "islamic colonisation" they will also refer to the demolishing of muslim sites of heritage and worship and then building hindu temples over them as "decolonisation" (cough cough ram mandir) the hindu right also goes around pretending that they're the indigenous people of india
along a similar vein, they will dismiss islamophobia by bringing up instances of hindu oppression in countries like pakistan and bangladesh. it is true that hindus are persecuted in these two countries, however they are used to fuel their oppression complex, that their upper caste hindu self is under attack in india of all places (think a white christian in the united states). you should be in solidarity with minorities everywhere. it is neither transactional or conditional (note: they will never bring up sri lanka. persecution of hindus exists only when the oppressors are muslim)
claiming that hindu nationalism and hindutva are not the same because hindutva means "hindu-ness". that is only the literal translation of the term. like it or not, they're the same thing
they support the indian military occupation of kashmir. they will call it an integral part of kashmir, one reason which will be "hinduism is indigenous to kashmir." they will also bring up the last maharaja of kashmir signing the instrument of accession as further proof, as if the consent of the people was taken
they're zionists. do i even need to explain this. hindutva is just zionism for hindus
they refer to buddhism and jainism (sikhism too sometimes) as branches of hinduism rather than separate, distinct religions
they condemn any resistance to the indian govt as a burden or terrorism (like calling the farmers who are currently protesting a hindrance or terrorists. funny how sikhs are the same as hindus when they support hindu causes but terrorists when they resist oppression...)
they call you a pseudo liberal or a fake leftist. i'm telling you, they don't know jackshit. they can't even tell the difference between a liberal and a leftist and call US unread lmao. bonus points if they call you a liberandu or a sickular 💀
they call india "bharat" when they talk in english. there are in fact multiple indian languages that call india bharat or bharatam, but if they say bharat while talking in english, that is absolutely a hindu nationalist no questions asked
please do your due diligence. read up on hindutva. hindu nationalists have already started making gains in the united states, thanks to rich upper caste nris. do not fall for propaganda
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mosspapi · 11 months
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Man. I keep putting off doing chores because the process in this new room is giving me massive anxiety, but that means I have even more to do at once. Which is even more anxiety-inducing. I am building the worlds biggest snowball here aren't I
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nickmarini · 2 months
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Ayden’s Build 
TL;DR: Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 8 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 9 (Peace Domain). Feats: Squire of Solamnia, Remarkable Recovery, Warcaster, Knight of Crowns, Spelldriver, Tough.
Building Ayden was a joy and a journey. To begin we were told we had 20 levels to work with and stats of 20 across the board. The only thing I knew about Ayden from the session 0 was that he was going to be a Cleric of the Everlight and that I wanted to make him the best support character I could. I also knew that the Dawnfather was aware of the mission briefing and so would have directed his growth to the task at hand. 
Stats of 20 meant multiclassing into any class was possible and that any ability score based bonuses or proficiency based abilities were going to be very good. I figured that with a warlock and a sorcerer we’d have some pretty good counterspelling and 9th level spell access, so I didn’t worry myself about either of those, instead focusing on making sure we all survived. 
The Dawnfather and The Everlight share 2 of 3 Domains. Life and Light. The Everlight’s 3rd domain is Peace. The Peace Domain cleric is an excellent subclass and its 6th level ability, Protective Bond, was something I knew I wanted to build around. The ability to take hits for, and aid, my siblings while teleporting around the battlefield is an excellent support ability and it also lets allies in the bond do the same, fostering sibling unity and cohesion.
With the Dawnfather having Nature as his unique domain separate from the Everlight, and literally sending himself to Exandria to infiltrate a city full of the greatest mages of the age, the Oath of Ancients Paladin seemed like an obvious path. It is the nature Paladin, (his domain) and 7 levels gives you both Aura of Protection and Aura of Warding. This means as Ayden moves through the battlefield with Protective Bond he will be granting allies +5 to saves from his cha as well as resistance to damage from spells. Incredibly good going up against the wizards of Aeor he knew he would encounter. I didn’t want to go to 10 with Paladin because I didn’t want to be immune to frightened. I just felt that fear played too large a role in the reasons the gods were here and although aura of courage is probably my favorite ability going back to 3rd edition, I felt like it wasn’t right for Ayden. He had to fear in order to reinforce his need to hope. 
These two classes were set relatively quickly and then I began looking at how else I was going to build him out. 
I really liked the idea of being able to grant my allies some extra attacks and so I was looking at battle master to get commanders strike and goading attack as well as maneuvering attack to help take hits for and position my allies. Action Surge is also a great ability that could really come in handy if I needed to save someone and needed one extra action to do so. 
I was also looking at the 2nd level Divination Wizard ability Portent. The ability to fully dictate 2 rolls is very powerful in certain circumstances, especially if the numbers are very high or very low.
Both these seemed good but weren’t feeling totally right from a character perspective. They felt too forced.
As I was playing around with these two classes I was also building Aydens backstory. I really liked the idea of him being agriculturally focused, as this aspect of the Dawnfather is actually his youngest. Sun begets days, and thus time and seasons, and as civilization evolves agriculture follows. The fighter levels lent the idea that he has spent some time training under a knight or some such warrior, and I knew that he would eventually find his way to Trist to begin his tutelage and become her cleric. I liked there being these different eras of his life. 
It was around this time that I got an awesome email asking me to describe Ayden visually so that the incredibly talented Hannah Friederichs and Cael Lyons could begin to bring Ayden and the Dawnfather to life. I wanted Ayden to be a simply dressed with a shield he took from his mentor, but no sword for striking. They sent 4 sketches and told me I could mix and match as I desired. Image #1 however was exactly as I had envisioned him. It was the simplest and had this depth to his eyes that told the story of a much older soul in this 15 year old body. It was so perfect that it made me realize I had been going in the totally wrong direction with fighter and wizard. The concepts of nature and agriculture were suddenly staring me in the face. It was not wizard, but druid, and his mentor could have taught him to be a paladin as easily as fighter, but if he is the bringer of agriculture who has he brought it to? A remote tribe still hunting and gathering was the answer. Barbarian therefore replaced fighter. I can’t tell you how influential the sketch I received was. It felt like a bolt of lightning suddenly clarified everything. 
I was for sure cleric 6, Paladin 7 and now looking at druid and barbarian. 
I didn’t know Druid subclasses very well but Circle of the Stars jumped out from the pack just with its name. The Sun after all is a star. When I read its 2nd level abilities Starmap and Starry form it was so obvious. I can cast Guiding Bolt to set up those attacks I wanted to grant, and I can glow instead of wild shape and either heal more or have a massive bonus to maintain the concentration spells I knew I wanted to cast. For the keeper of time to know how to read the stars just felt right. It also feel right that the druids of a tribe that had been hunting and gathering during the tumultuous Calamity would have learned to navigate by the stars, a singular constant in an every changing age. 
Barbarian has a number of interesting subclasses but none felt like they clicked. 1 level of Barbarian though, for a character with 20 dexterity and 20 constitution, catapults your AC to 20 and it also gives you a proficiency in Constitution saving throws if you take it as your first class, again reinforcing those concentration rolls. He was found as a child by this barbarian tribe and his first class is also his first community. Barbarian was the strong foundation I would build upon. 
I was now Cleric 6, Paladin 7, Druid 2, Barbarian 1. Reorganized to be the order Ayden would have taken them in it becomes the following:
Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 7 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 6 (Peace Domain)
4 more levels to distribute. As a player who has mostly played 3.5 (I think downfall just about doubled the amount of 5E I have played) feats are my absolute favorite things, so getting to multiples of 4 in class levels to grab some was something I wanted to do (also I didn’t have to worry about ability score increases)! I had already given one feat up by taking barb and druid but I made up for it with the human variant. I also took the Knight of Solamnia background to give me Squire of Solamnia, the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns which would give me the ability to grant attacks to my allies without needing battle maneuvers. 
So I upped paladin from 7-8 for a feat and then decided to take Cleric from 6-9 because it gave me a feat and access to the spell Dawn. I mean the Dawnfather should be able to cast Dawn after all! 
Now to feats
1) Background: Squire of Solamnia to give me the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns
2) Human Variant: Remarkable Recovery. I knew I’d be taking extra damage so having 5 extra hp from any healing I get might just be the difference. It also plays into his background. He had to leave the Barbarian tribe he brought agriculture to because his skin could not retain the ceremonial tattoo ink that would have symbolized his initiation into the community. 
3) Cleric 4 Warcaster to get advantage on those concentration checks, that along with proficiency and starry form of the dragon means I need to take 28 damage (56 if it’s a spell) to even have to roll, and when I do I get advantage and proficiency on the check. Getting me to lose concentration is gonna be a task. 
4) Paladin 4 Knight of the Crown getting to grant an attack proficiency times per day combos wonderfully with Starmaps free guiding bolt, conveniently also proficiency times per day. 
5) Cleric 8 Spelldriver I’m gonna be casting a bunch of spells so the ability to cast multiple each turn is going to make my support spells come out much faster. I have a big fam to take care of!
6) Paladin 8 Tough I really went back and forth between this and Inspiring Leader. Granting all my siblings 25 temp hp is amazing but ultimately I decided that as I’d be tanking a bunch of damage I’d need toughness. Toughness gave me 15 more hp than Inspiring leader would have, and I ended up going down to 14 at one point so it was a decision that very much paid off by a single HP! Don’t wanna pop a deathward if you can help it!
Last but not least we were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards. 
All in all Ayden’s build is an incredibly hard to target tanky support character who can move through the battlefield protecting his allies and being an absolute nightmare for enemy spellcasters. The only thing I really didn’t fully consider was just how much damage he would take from Warding Bond which totally bypasses all those wonderfully crafted defenses. As crazy as it is, I think we barely got to scratch the surface of Aydens full potential and it’s probably good those mages decided to cast spells at everyone else because Ayden was going to be a tough character for a spell caster to crack. The Commanding Rally did get to shine allowing characters who specialized in weapon attacks to get a little extra out of those 20 level commitments. Ayden’s build was crafted to keep his siblings alive and let them shine as bright as possible together. I’m very proud of him!
If you read all this then you’re as nerdy as me and deserve a reward!
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bpmiranda · 26 days
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Okay someone mentioned a baby trap on one of the dbf!logan posts and now I need it 😩
Old Enough (Logan Howlett) nsfw
A/N: cream pie, 18+ mutant f!reader who has the same ability that Sister Sage has from The Boys, older!logan, age gap
There wasn’t anyone quite like you that Logan had ever met before. You were incredibly intelligent, posing the most interesting of questions all while being quite young. Logan tried his hardest not to indulge in the depraved ideas lurking in the dark corners of his mind, he really did, but you as smart as you were, you were also quite badly behaved.
Not an uncommon trait of a model student with strict parents who was granted freedom in the form of an on campus dormitory at the X-Mansion. Logan was just happy that your idea for misbehaving involved him and while he knew he shouldn’t have given in to your pouting and teasing, he was just a man at the end of the day. How could anyone say no to you?
Currently, you were straddling his lap in your bedroom. Your hips were rolling slow and gently against him, the hard shaft in his sweatpants lying against his bare abdomen while you sat completely naked. His large hands were running tenderly up and down your back and shoulders, feeling how small your frame is compared to him. “Mm, Professor, keep touching me like this and we’ll have to take those pants off.” You tease, knowing he hates being called ‘professor.’ Logan lightly pats your ass and you bite his lip.
“Don’t you have class soon?” He asks as you move to kiss his neck, your hands roaming the expanse of his chest as you hum. “I can’t be the reason you fall behind, baby.”
You smirk against his jaw and pull back to look at him. “My mutation will literally not allow that to happen.” You said with a subtle hint of what some may call arrogance. Your mutation being that your brain continues to grow and in the same way Logan is able to regenerate, your brain quite literally continuously builds itself up stronger, making you the smartest person in the world. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of getting caught.” You murmur, raking your fingernails through his beard as you continue rolling your hips.
“You’re a student,” Logan says with a chuckle, his cock throbbing at the reminder that a pretty, young girl like you constantly wants to be all over him. “I’m supposed to be the reasonable one here.”
“It’s my last year as a student,” You remind him, subtly pushing his sweats down a little further as your lower belly aches with want of a release. “Come on, Logan,” You gasp as his tip kisses your sensitive clit and he groans. “Won’t you fuck me one last time as a student?” You beg, moaning as his cock pulses against you.
Logan grunts at the slick of your cunt coating his member and his grip tightens on your hips. “You’re a terrible influence.” He groans, guiding you up and onto his head. You bite your lip as he watches you sink down on his length and your body trembles with anticipation. “Fuck, where are you going after you graduate?” He asked, admiring how you sit so pretty on his dick.
“Where do you want me to go?” You ask, warming and clenching his cock with your contracting pussy. “I’ll go wherever you want, Logan. Be whatever you want.” You gasp as he bucks his hips up slightly, adjusting your position on his lap, and he smirks.
“You’re not old enough to come with me.” Logan chuckles and you frown. “Don’t do that.”
“I am old enough,” You defended, crossing your arms over your chest and he can’t help the smile on his face. Logan knows you hate it when he treats you like a kid, which you are, but you don’t think like a girl your age. A lot of it having to do with your mutation. “Logan, I wanna be with you when I leave the school. I want it to be us.” You murmur, caressing his chest slowly and tracing your index finger through the indentations of his muscled torso.
“Baby, you’ve got so much potential to be absolutely anything, and you wanna muck around the North East with me?” He asks with mild disbelief, though he shouldn’t be too surprised. You were always talking about the craving you had for a domestic life, a family, as modern and advanced in your age as you might be, that was always a constant.
“Should I find someone else then?” You ask defiantly and you can feel him tense up underneath you. You push on, hoping to get him mad. “Maybe I’ll shack up with Iceman or Pyro. Be with someone my age.”
Logan’s blood is boiling at the thought, even if it is what he thinks you should do, but it doesn’t make it fun to hear. “I want you too, baby, but I’m just saying you should experience more before you decide you’re ready to settle down.”
With a mischievous glint in your eyes, you begin bouncing lightly on his lap, holding yourself up by his chest. Logan’s head rolls back and he caressed your waist, guiding you along his shaft as you moan softly. “I want to experience you, Logan.” You gasp lightly as his thick girth moves deeper and deeper into you. Your breasts tingle with excitement and you dig your fingernails into his shoulders. “Wanna be yours.”
Logan grunts, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he kisses your neck and chest, marking you with love bites that have you whining for more. “You wanna be mine?” He asks you and you nod, biting your lip as he’s looking at you with a darkness in his eyes. The type of darkness that you saw when you knew you were in for a long night with him.
Suddenly, you are flipped over and lying on your back as he is pounding into you from above. One of your legs is hooked onto his shoulder while the other one is pinned to bed so that he can rut deep and roughly into you. Your eyes well with hot tears at his ruthless pace and you know you’re going to cum harder than ever before. “Yes, Logan! Yes!” You cry as your mind goes fuzzy with the ecstasy of your release and he quickly covers your mouth his large hand.
“Gonna get us caught.” He half-heartedly scolds, hoping they hear him as he takes you, makes you his own. “You don’t want them to see what I’m about to do to you.” He smirks and your eyebrows furrow curiously, but you’re too dazed to ask, too muffled to question him.
And then you realize as his hips start to falter in their rhythm, yet he does not move to pull out. Your nails claw desperately at his back, your body trembling as he is jolting your little body up and down the mattress with the force of his thrusts. “Mm! Mm! Hmph!” You whimper and moan as his cock throbs warningly inside you, the man above you thrusts deeply one last time, pressing harshly into your cervix where you feel his load suddenly burst out in thick spurts and your eyes water from the intensity, the feeling of being so full with him and his seed making your eyes roll back into your head. Your body shakes violently from the pleasure of it all and Logan grunts in an animalistic manner as he pumps himself empty deep inside you.
“You’re mine now,” He says as he removes his hand from your mouth and kisses you hard. “All mine, baby.” He coos as you mewl into his kiss while you lay under his weight feeling so filthy and satisfied.
I hope I successfully captured the theme of baby trapping! Let me know what you thought:)
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copperbadge · 2 months
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Recently I ran across an article about an art center that was doing creative expression classes for people with disabilities. Not that unusual, I've encountered that and trauma-oriented art therapy before, but it was the first time I'd come across the idea since getting diagnosed with ADHD. While the class was aimed more at high-needs disabilities, it occurred to me that I could -- if I wanted -- make non-prose art about being disabled.
Outside of my work in scene design I've never been much of a visual artist because I've never felt I had the combination of "something to say" and "a meaningful way to say it", but I started to question how meaningful and complex I really had to be to just make some statements about having ADHD. I can do it in prose, after all.
So I started thinking about how you would talk, in visual language, about things like time blindness, shame stemming from undiagnosed disability, the shift in behavior that medication can induce. Ways to express my condition to people who don't experience it. I still didn't really know how to build the pieces but whenever I went to an art museum I'd think about how I might do a gallery installation. The centerpiece of my mental gallery was a pair of barcodes, one marked "Neurotypical" and one marked "Neurodivergent".
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[ID: An interior view of a small booklet, with pages marked 1 and 2, showing barcodes -- on the left, labeled Neurotypical, and on the right, in slightly weirder configuration, labeled Neurodivergent.]
And then I thought, why not make a zine? Nothing you're thinking of couldn't be put in zine form instead of on a gallery wall.
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[ID: The booklet continues to pages 3 and 4; on page 3 is a postage-style label reading AUTISM with up arrows on either side, and on page 4 is a QR code labeled ADHD. The QR code technically should work but it just dumps a block of text I wrote about having ADHD into a browser.]
I grew up with zine culture in the 90s and I always wanted to make one but much like with visual art, I never felt like I had the right kind of thing to say; either I had too much to say or too little, and anyway I wasn't confident that what I wanted to do wouldn't just come off as trite and obvious. But you can make a six-page zine out of a single sheet of paper, so I did: I made Helpful Labels For Strange Brains by idab zines, a division of Extribulum Press. (i--dab is a term for a cuneiform tablet that contains a royal communication.)
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[ID: The last two pages feature the same image -- a cereal bowl with a spoon in it, the spoon containing a single Adderall pill. One image, however, is captioned "Wake up. Pour yourself a cup of iced coffee. Fix a bowl of cereal. It's going to be a good day." while the other is covered in a detailed ADHD-style step-by-step process for the same actions, culminating in "It's going to be a day like that."]
I'm pretty pleased with how it came out -- the art all looks intentional and it still has that "taped this together after school" aesthetic I remember fondly from the 90s. And the confines of six pages, each only a few inches square, offers a good structure to keep things clear, simple, and meaningful.
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[ID: The cover of the zine, labeled "Helpful Labels For Strange Brains" in a kind of esoteric stampy font.]
Especially nice is that if you wanted to you could just hand out the flat sheet, and let folks fold it into a booklet or not -- there's instructions for folding it on the back of the zine. Additionally I have some sticker backed printer paper so I could print it such that you could literally turn the labels into real labels.
Anyway if you want it, here ya go. You can print it on a single sheet of paper and follow the instructions on the back to fold it. I thought about selling it but I do not have the spoons to do a bunch of printing and folding and shipping.
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earthtooz · 1 year
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fluff, apologising and making up after a 'fight' kind of drabble bc i miss suna <3
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suna rintarou shows up to your university on the third day of the silent treatment.
the sight is a surprise, to say the least. your pro-volleyball player boyfriend standing outside your faculty’s building with his hands in his pockets, blending in with baggy jeans, a hoodie, and a cap. he looks the part of a university student, but you could never be fooled, not when he's 6'3 with an equally admirable stature from exercising.
amongst the crowd of outflowing students, the dark-haired spots you, olive eyes widening upon seeing you. he pushes himself onto two feet before walking over to where you stay rooted, dodging the students who just came out of the same lecture.
“hi,” suna greets, stopping just a few feet away from you. the sight of his lopsided smile is enough to get your heart racing again. you've missed him so much.
regardless, you cross your arms to keep up an angry front, not wanting to give in to his charms just yet no matter how good he may he at using them. 
“what are you doing here?” you ask bluntly, betraying the butterflies in your stomach.
his expression doesn’t falter at your iciness. “not happy to see me?”
you are happy to see him, very much so, especially when he has taken the initiative of literally showing up at your campus and waiting for your classes to be over to see you. he must be tired from practice as well and you know too well that mondays were never kind to him. 
so the fact that suna came all this way for you makes you feel a little special. 
he’s even wearing some of that cologne that you really like and unless it’s for special occasions, you know that your boyfriend is never bothered enough to wear any fragrance. he is so sly that you could kiss him.
“not particularly, suna.” you say in response, lying through your teeth.
suna clutches his chest like he’s been shot, making a gasp of offence at your statement. “babe, after i came all the way to campus? i thought i’d never want to come back here but i made some exceptions for the love of my life and this is what i get in return?” 
“suck it up, i guess.”
“-and who on earth is suna? never heard of him. can’t believe you’ve already forgotten my name after three days, i’m losing sight of reality, babe hold me, i might faint.”
“whatever,” you chuckle a little at his antics, eyes softening with a certain fondness that suna doesn’t miss. his lips twitch upwards at the sight of it.
this is his chance to win you back. he throws his line in in hopes of catching you hook and sinker. 
“let’s go to dinner tonight,” he offers, recovering from his previously downed position, voice contrastingly soft and gentle to smoothen his proposal. 
“what, so you can stand me up again?” you quip, instantly slicing the atmosphere to turn tense as the line snaps in half.
suna’s grin falls, morphing into a guilty frown. “c’mon pretty, that’s mean. you know how sorry i am, i didn’t mean to forget about our plans.”
you huff, letting your arms fall back to your sides. “i know, i know, but you standing me up just stung. it was frustrating because i made time for us that i could have used to study with instead,” you confess. “you know how stressed i’ve been with finals.”
the athlete stuffs his hands into his pockets awkwardly. “but i’m trying to make up for it.” 
“i know and i appreciate it, but now’s not a good time. i’m sorry but i can’t go to dinner tonight or any time soon, i have a bunch of practice tests to do that i can’t keep putting off.”
“then can i come over?” asks suna, a hopeful lilt to his voice.
“and watch me study? do you really want that?”
“i just want to be with you, i can order us takeout or something- on me.”
“guess i’m just irresistible, huh?”
“duh, do you know how much i suffered during the weekend? missed you so much, practically died from boredom.”
“oh so i’m just another person for you to bother? is that how it is?” you ask, unable to contain your smile. 
the dark-haired scoffs. “c’mon babes, you know you’re better than that. you’re the only person i can bother.”
“oh fuck off,” you whack his shoulder teasingly. “also for your information, you’re not coming between me and my education.”
“ambitious people are a turn-on,” he mutters with a shrug before pulling you in to kiss your cheek.
“ew get off me, freak,” you joke whilst shoving him, not rough enough to actually create distance but suna still stands his ground from the force. his hand goes to hold your other cheek as he smothers you with over-exaggerated affection. 
you laugh in his hold, holding on to his wrists for balance. “suna!” you yelp when he pushes too much weight onto you, causing the two of you to stumble sideways. “actually get off me.”
“can’t. won’t. don’t want to. this is what you get for not responding to me all weekend- what does  a man need to do to get a text back from the love of his life?” 
“easy. be a man.” you step out of his grasp with a satisfied smirk, beginning to walk away from your boyfriend who stares at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. inevitably, suna runs up to you.
and as he encases you with his arms in the middle of the empty gardens of your university faculty, you know that the two of you will be okay. even if suna is the bane of your existence, there is no one else for you like him. 
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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cutebat · 2 months
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Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader
The Other Half
Warning(s): Yandere themes (at the end), neglect, mentions of pills (but she doesn't actually take them), a lot of swearing, stealing, mentions of cheating and bribery, attempted guilt tripping, forcing to drop out, reader is just a millennial in the 2020s
(This chapter is basically the other part of the prologue, and I fixed some things. Most of this chapter just shows reader's personal life at school.)
~~~~~
How long has it been has you stopped being Batgirl?
Days... Weeks... Months... A year?
Honestly, you don't really care. It's more like you don't feel to care anymore.
After you threw out your costume in that dumpster, you just lost all hope of whatever you'll become.
You were walking down the hallway of the Wayne manor as you think about all of this.
If nobody really cared about what you did, then why bother keep going? I mean, your family didn't really give you a lot of praise.
You let out a heavy sigh as you enter the bathroom. When you locked the door, you couldn't help but stare at yourself in the mirror.
Your eyes were still kinda empty but a little bright at the same time. Your hair feels so smooth and soft. And your skin... it just looks so perfect. This makes you think to yourself...
Since when did you become so pretty?
After staring at yourself in the mirror, you were about to leave the bathroom before you gaze lands on something.
It was an orange pill bottle.
"SSRI..."
You mutter out as you read the label.
You opened the door to peak to see if anyone was in the hallway. Coast clear.
With that, you took the pill bottle and put it in your top since you didn't have any pockets.
~~~~~
The first week when you started eighth grade came by quickly.
You were just wandering down around the hallway alone as many students walked by you to either go to class or skip to go somewhere.
As you walked down the hallway, you spotted someone approaching you.
"Uh, hey."
The voice calls out to you as the person walks towards you.
It was a guy with slightly bushy blonde hair with brown eyes. He seems to be around your age.
You only blinked before you spoke up.
"Hi."
You responded blankly.
"Um, are you new here?"
He asks as he rubs the back of his head.
"I've been going here for two years."
You said as you just stood there, staring at this boring looking guy.
"Oh, cool... I just thought that since I've never seen you around here before. Anyway, do you know where your classes are?"
He asks which makes you tilt your head to the side a bit.
"Kinda. I've seen all of the classes here around this building, so I think I'm going to be fine."
You said as you place your hand on your hip.
"Okay, that's cool. I'm Peter, by the way. What's your name?"
The guy whose name is Peter introduces himself with a small smile.
You were silent for a bit, surprised that someone actually spoke to you. You decided to... be nice, I guess.
"(name)."
You simply replied with your hand still on your hip.
"Aw, cool. It was nice meeting you (name). Hey, if you want, maybe we can hang out. You know, as friends? Maybe more...?"
Peter said as if he had high hope.
You just blinked before you replied.
"I literally just met you."
"Well... yeah, but-"
The guy tries to explain himself before you caught him off again.
"Well, I'm going to find my class now. See ya."
You said before you turned and walked away.
Was that guy really trying to hit on you?
~~~~~
You enter the classroom that seems to look like any other classroom.
"Ah, we have our first tardy student. Welcome to English 2. My name is Ms. Tucker, what is yours?"
The teacher said as she turned to you.
You stayed by the doorway for a moment, looking unfazed.
"Um... Beyoncé?"
You replied which made the students in the class laugh.
"Settle down! I have to look it up in the attendance sheet, then..."
Your teacher said with a sigh before she pointed at an empty desk, indicating that your new seat was.
As you sat down, Ms. Tucker speaks up again.
"Alright then, now I see that everyone's present, I want to start off with some first day reading. Basically, like silent reading time."
She said before a girl raised her hand.
"Can we read manga?"
She asks, which makes the teacher raise her eyebrow.
"Is that like... a comic book?"
"Does it even matter?"
"Well, I don't think they're fitting for your age."
"You literally just said to 'read a book'. Manga is technically a book."
"I'm not sure if that's school appropriate."
"I just saw a manga section in the school library earlier, how the fuck is that not school appropriate?"
"Not getting to the point here. I'm just saying to read something more like you kids would like."
"And what's that?"
"How about... The Catcher in the Rye? Written by J.D. Salinger?"
Everyone fell silent before you spoke up.
"You're such a fucking white mom, it's not even funny."
This made everyone in the class burst out laughing.
"Excuse me, young lady?"
"You heard me, bitch."
The students laughed even more.
"Go to the headmaster's office!"
Ms. Tucker yells as she points to the door.
~~~~~
"You're on thin ice on the first day, (name)."
The headmaster said with her hands on her hips.
"It's not my fault that Ms. Tucker is such a bitch and also, there was this other girl who interrupted her."
You said as you were seated in front of her.
"Don't shift this onto someone else, (name). We're talking about you right now."
"So, what am I supposed to do? Accidentally call my teacher a fucking white mom?"
"You're supposed to follow the school rules and not insult your teachers. You should've known this."
"I do."
"Then, why did you do it anyway?"
You purse your lips before you respond.
"Because it's funny."
Your response made your headmaster sigh to calm herself down.
"Well... if this doesn't work out for you, we can always transfer you in an alternative educational system instead."
She suggests using a calm, patient expression on her face.
"I swear to god if you put me in one of those schools that have nothing but those weird, delusional people who believe in 'those' kinds of inclusivity topics, I will actually bully the fuck out of all of them."
You told her with a slightly irritated expression on your face.
"I wasn't implying to those schools, (name). We have other educational systems for students who don't seem to get along."
Your headmaster said which made you raise your eyebrow.
"Really now?"
"I wouldn't try to get into them if I were you. Please believe me when I tell you that the school you're in right now is actually a good thing."
She explains to you which made you seem to be in more thought.
~~~~~
Later in lunch, you were sitting at a table alone as you stared down at the food that Alfred made for you.
"Damn, it's fucking freezing in here. Why do they always turn up the AC?"
You mutter to yourself as you slightly shiver.
"Fucking tell me about it."
A voice pipes up that makes you look up to see two girls who are wearing the same uniform as you, walking over to you.
"Oh, sorry. Were you guys sitting here? I can move if you want."
You said before one of them shook her head.
"Nah, it's fine. You seem cool."
She said as she and the other girl sits down in front of you.
"I'm Noelle, and this is Sasha."
The girl in the bob cut said as the other girl nodded.
"I'm (name)."
You said in a bored tone.
"(name)... such a cute name. I like it."
Noelle said with a small smile.
"So, where did you come from?"
"The headmaster's office."
You said as you roll your eyes.
"Damn, the headmaster's office on the first day? What did you do?"
Sasha asks as she rests her chin on the palm of her hand.
"I told Ms. Tucker that she was a fucking white mom."
You respond in an emotionless tone.
"She is, isn't she?"
"Yeah, except I don't think she's married or anything."
"You don't need to be married to be a mom."
"That's true."
"Anyway, that was really good."
"I know."
You said with a small smirk on your face, feeling a sense of pride in yourself.
As the three of you were chatting, someone walks up to your table.
"Hey, guys. Hey, Sasha..."
Looking up, you see a slightly tall guy with brown hair, towering over the three of you.
"Who the fuck are you?"
Sasha asks as she glares up at the guy.
"It's me. Ian? I was in your social studies class last year. You know, year 8? You used to copy off of the tests that we took. I'm also in your geography class right now."
He said as Sasha just blankly stared up at him.
"Okay... cool."
"So, anyway, I actually wanna ask you something."
Ian said as he glanced down at the three girls below.
"Who?"
You ask with your eyebrow lifted.
"You, actually."
"Wait, me? Why?"
"I heard about you calling Ms. Tucker names and got sent to the office for that. I want to say that's actually pretty cool."
"Thanks, I guess."
"Yeah, so, anyway... I want to know if you're free either tonight or tomorrow."
"Why do you want to know?"
"I actually want to... take you out on a date."
"A date?"
You ask out loud with your eyes wide.
"Yeah. It's not going to be too extreme... just a simple night out at my favorite spot."
Ian said with a smile.
"And where's that?"
You ask with your eyebrow raised.
"The arcade at the alleyway."
"An arcade? Out of all the places, an arcade is your go to spot?"
"Yeah. It's pretty old, but it's also kinda cool."
You just blinked as you were in thought. The guy himself seemed pretty boring, but on second thought, you don't really want to go back home after school.
"Yeah, sure."
"Wait, really?"
Ian said out of suprise.
"Yeah, I have nothing else to do. My home life is pretty shitty anyway, so I have no problem."
You tell him.
"Oh, sweet. Okay, then. I'll give you my number to send you the location. It was nice meeting you."
He said before he placed a piece of paper in front of you before he walks off.
"Holy shit..."
Noelle mutters out.
"You got asked out by a grade 9 student."
Sasha said as she stared into you.
"Yeah... Is that a problem?"
You ask.
"No, not at all. It's just that... you got asked out by someone on the first day. That's pretty impressive."
Sasha said in an amazed tone.
"Yeah. I won't be that surprised that it's a super lame dude, but an older dude is kind of just... wow."
Noelle said with her eyes wide.
"So, if I get asked out by an older guy, does that mean it's a good thing?"
You ask as you lean back to your seat.
"Well, it depends on the guy. If he's just a few years older than you, that's fine. But really old dudes, no way."
Sasha said as she stares at your food.
"Hey, are you going to eat that? My mom won't make me anything cause I told her that her new haircut looks like a really trashy lesbian would have, and the school lunch here is just not it."
"Yeah, sure, go ahead. The temperature in here made me lose my appetite."
You said as you pushed your lunch towards her.
~~~~~
After school, you went through a very long day.
You had your date with that Ian guy at the arcade. It's pretty trashy but kinda fun. He even got you this massive bunny plushie. After the date, he wanted to take you home, but you just left before he could say anything else. Then, you end up meeting a guy who seems to be around a few years older than you on your way home. He took you to an abandoned building, but he ended up falling asleep the second you two entered. So, you ended up taking his wallet for an Uber. Once the driver dropped you off, he gave you his number for some reason. It was weird, but you took it anyway cause, why not.
~~~~~
"Whew, what a day..."
You muttered to yourself as you entered the Wayne manor.
"Miss (name), where on earth have you been?"
Alfred, the family butler, asks out of shock as he comes downstairs to find you coming inside.
"At an arcade."
You reply in a blank tone.
"So, I'm supposed to believe the story of you being at an arcade after school all night?"
The old butler wonders with his eyebrow lifted.
"All night? I was there for about what... Two or three hours."
"It's two in the morning, miss (name)."
"Oh, wow. I really hung around that building for that long?"
You mutter to yourself out of surprise.
"What building are you talking about, miss (name)?"
Alfred asks as he walks up to you.
"Some abandoned building I went to after my date at that shitty arcade."
You tell the butler as he kneels down to your height.
"How far away were you? Did you walk? Your uniform is a mess!"
He asks as he took a look at you.
"Nah, I got myself an Uber. It's fine."
You tell him with your tone still blank as ever.
"Miss (name), I don't think it's a good idea to accept rides from strangers."
Alfred said with a heavy sigh as he led you upstairs.
"That's how Ubers work, Alfred. You just find someone pretty close to your location and let them drive you anywhere you want. It's like going on a taxi."
You explain to him as he takes you to your bedroom and lets you sit down on your desk chair.
"I suppose. However, you could have given Master Richard or Master Jason to pick you up. I think that'll be a safer option."
Alfred said in reply as he took out some comfortable clothes from your closet and handed them over to you.
"Why the hell should I call these fuckers? They don't give a shit about me anyway."
You snap at the butler as you snatch your clothes from him and go inside your own bathroom.
It was silent as Alfred stood in front of your bathroom door with a concerned expression and a heavy heart. Then, he speaks up again.
"I tried to talk to them again today, especially to Master Bruce. But, I got no response from all of them. I really tried. I'm really sorry, miss (name)."
His words made the old butler pursed his lips as he let out a sigh. He feels guilty that he didn't try enough for your family to at least give you a glance. He's been doing this ever since you got neglected and tried every single day with no response.
That's when you open the bathroom door with you wearing the clothes that he gave you. A yellow sweatshirt and a black skirt.
"It's fine, just forget about it. I appreciate though."
You tell him as you look up at him.
"Sorry for snapping at you a second ago..."
You added as you put some of your hair strands behind your ear.
However, the butler only smiles as he kneels down to your height once again.
"I understand, miss (name). It's not your fault. None of this is."
He reassures you as he places both of his hands on your shoulders.
"Even though they might not pay attention to you that much, I will always be by your side."
He tells you that made you smile a little.
"Thanks, Alfred."
You mutter out.
"Also, let's keep me coming back home a secret, okay? I know that they won't care if they find out, but still."
You add with a chuckle that made the butler smile.
"Alright. But, I will advise you to go to bed now. It's a school night, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Meanwhile, unknowingly to you, someone was beside your bedroom door, listening in the conversation.
~~~~~
Since then, you've never felt so... free.
You became friends with those two girls from lunch, and more guys asked you out while you two timed them the same time, and some of the teachers were so easy to bribe off that you ended up skipping most of your classes. At least you were still passing.
You also stayed up at night to do stuff like going out, doing some more lame dates, and most of all, just chilled out.
As long Alfred kept quiet about all this, then none of this would have a problem. Not that you have too much to worry about.
Life is going so well for you.
For now.
~~~~~
When the first semester ended and winter break started, you had a packed schedule ahead. You're planning to go on dates for the next two weeks straight. It was going to be tough, especially hanging around with a bunch of weird guys, but hey, at least they're buying you things that you want.
As you entered your bedroom because you forgot your phone, you were suprised to see...
Bruce?
He was sitting on your bed and seemed to be deep in thought before he looked up to see you standing by in the doorway.
"What are you doing in here?"
You ask as you walk into your room.
Bruce seems to be nervous before he lets out a sigh.
"(name)... we need to have a talk."
He said as he looked straight into your eyes which made you groan.
"Oh my god... Can we talk about this later? I have a date to go to."
You ask that made him a little frustrated.
"You're not going anywhere tonight, (name)."
He said that made you a little surprised.
"Why the hell not?"
"Watch your tone, young lady."
"Since when did you address me that?"
"Not the point right now."
Bruce lets out a sigh before he looks down at you.
"Look, I... was told about your behavior for the past months and I took a look through your things to check up on what was going on. I... didn't know what you were going through. None of us did. We didn't know that this the reason why you're behaving like this at school and started hanging out with the wrong people."
He tells you as he places his hand on your shoulder.
"I'm really sorry, (name)... I really am. Even though you can't forgive me for what I did, I'll try my best to be the best father you've ever had. I told the others about this and they'll start behaving and treat you the way that you deserve."
You just stood there, as if you heard the biggest news of your life, except not in a good way. It's as if something hit you right in the gut.
"Oh, shit! Um... okay."
You mutter out as you just stare at your adopted father.
Sensing your tenses, Bruce decided to go into more detail. Which was not a good idea...
"Because of this, I decided that you should be around people who me and the others will find alright. Since I don't know who you're around, Damian will check who your friends and the people you date are. Also, the family wants you to be around them. Such as spending time with them and basically having fun. Something that you never got to experience."
Now, this. This felt like a nuclear bomb dropped into your head.
"Are you serious...? Like, are you actually fucking serious right now?"
You ask as your eye twitches a bit.
"You really thought I could just accept whatever shit that comes out of your mouth because you suddenly remember what you and those other fuckers treated me? Now, you want me to drop out of the life that I kinda enjoy? You sure are funny, are you?"
You said in a bitter tone before your lips curled into a snarl.
"I will never forget about the shit that I went through to please you and that shitty family that I was forced to be a part of."
You added as you walked to Bruce and got in his face before you spit out the next two words out of your mouth.
"Fuck you and your family."
With that, you stormed out of your bedroom as Bruce calls out for you.
~~~~~
Your mind was flooded with so much anger that you ended up forgetting about the three dates that you were supposed to go to today.
This wasn't the way you wanted to start your winter break.
You don't know why, but you stormed into the attic and sat down on the floor.
"Fuck!"
You yelled out as you panted slightly.
As you were panting, you looked down to finally notice a glittery diary in your hand. Since when did you get your hand on this?
You can't help but open the diary to find all the pages empty. It's not really a suprise then you never used it in your life. You don't even remember when you got this.
So, you looked around before your eyes landed on a random pen lying on the ground. Without thinking, you picked it up and opened the diary to the very first page.
With that, you started to write your 'entry'.
It's time to show the world of this game that you're forced to be in.
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