#literally ALL of my classes are in the same building
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i apologize for the silly question but how can you protect an already created item or make it protective? i don't know why it's not really computing in my head
If you can't/don't want to modify the item at all, some ideas:
Consecrate it. Through a consecration, rebirth, or baptism ritual, kill the object's old fate (let's say, as a class ring), and then give it new life as a protective object.
The physical body stays the same but you have changed its fate and its life; you've made it into something else.
This consecration should focus specifically around protection. So you are consecrating it to the purpose of protection; you are changing its fate to one of being a protector; you are rebirthing it into a life of protecting.
Another option is to consecrate it unto a protective god or spirit. Suppose you get along quite famously with the protection work that Mars (planet) does. You can consecrate the ring to be a Talisman of Mars, a Martial Shield, a Protection Amulet of the Red Planet.
The function of consecration in this context is to set a very rock-solid ""mental"" body within the physical object. (I believe it goes beyond that; I believe you're literally fucking around with fate, which is a good thing.)
Enchant it. I think at this time I would not consider consecration to be the same as enchantment. We can take a class ring and give it a new life as a protector.
But the enchantment is like outfitting the protector with weapons, armor, and a warhorse.
So just consecrating something on its own I think does something, but maybe nothing spectacular.
To do an enchantment, find powers or correspondences which do the same kinds of things you want the protection amulet to do. Maybe we want clove for space, basil for bravery and strength, and oak for a mighty defense.
During the casting of the spell, you might empower/charge/evoke power into the plants, and then direct that power to infuse into the class ring.
"Oak, you build an infinite wall that goes in every direction. None can pass you. And this power does not remain in this oak twig, but it goes into the ring. And within and around the ring, the wall is raised." That sort of thing.
Charge it. You can take a lot of protective energy, program it to do the kind of defense you want, and pour it directly into the ring. IME if you only do this, and you don't do enchantment/energy work to actually build a secure energy structure within the ring, the charge will fade quickly.
You could do just 1 or 2 of these things. You don't have to consecrate a ring to be a protector before you enchant it to protect.
But I believe it's like this:
Imagine a king (you) needs a knight. You could choose a random civilian off of the street and say, "you're a knight now!" and give them a horse and sword. This is like enchanting without consecration.
But you could also consult the oracle and find a person fated and foretold to be the most powerful protector in all the land. The key is, you're not only the king who can knight; you're also the god who assigns fate. This is like consecrating before enchanting/charging.
Finally, you can go down to the pub and say, "look. Free rounds all night to whoever goes and beats up the guy down the road." It'll cost a bit up front and your protector won't be around for long, but it'll work. This is like charging without enchanting or consecrating (or building energy structures, etc).
Overall I believe the most powerful artifacts are born under special stars (minding astrological timing when you create the vessel), consecrated to fate, enchanted with purpose, and charged with power. But you can skip any of these steps and only do the ones you can manage. It will work anyway, it just influences how long the magic will last, and the magnitude of the effects.
(Also btw this was not a silly question at all)
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man. so the engineering department at my school (which i am a part of) has put soooo much money into buildings and equipment in the last 10 years and i literally don't have a single class on that side of campus
#literally ALL of my classes are in the same building#and it is NOT on the engineering side#and i am in almost entirely upper division courses#ugh#i'm just remembering my last school#and every class at this point was held in a computer lab#with really good machines#now i'm at a school that technically costs more to attend#and i'm in the building that is so old it [redacted]#and i have to provide my own equipment#lea speaks#i'm gonna write an op ed for the local paper on the difference btwn the schools lmao
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what does it say about me if i cry about frankenstein’s creature every time i get even slightly tipsy
#i just think of all the people who only refer to him as a monster and it makes me genuinely devastated#‘i could be a good mother’ but its a transmasc person talking about a creature that canonically killed like four people#rip victor frankenstien i simply wouldve raised him better#rip victor frankenstein i wouldve ACTUALLY RAISED HIM#mary shelley u genius every time i think about this novel i wanna shake your hand and look you firmly in the eyes and thank you#for your service#and maybe build her a shrine#depends on the vibes of the day#frankenstein#mary shelley#nom nom nom nom nom (me consuming this novel on repeat since i was 14)#i literally walked into english class on my 14th bday and the teacher went ‘time to read frankenstein!’ and ive never been the same since
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#so ive been crying since 5:30am#ive had to cancel my meetings today bc i cant face people#im literally trying to save up all my will power to be able to make it through class tonight#but i just can get over whats just happened#the next few years will break me i know it#ill make sure i persevere but its gonna hurt and its going to be hard#im worried about my grandparents who rely on medicare to survive and get their medication#im worried about my trans and queer friends#im stressed about the threats about the cuts to the board of education#if its gone i loose my ability to finish school#I /rely/ on those loans like it or not#how am i supposed to face my younger sister who dreams of going to school knowing she might not get the same chance bc loans are gone#how am i supposed to watch my little cousin with adhd and autism lose his iep#how am i supposed to live with myself knowing the right to my own body is threatened at every turn#how am i supposed to be able to look both my parents in the eyes ever again and not hold their votes against them#today i let myself morn my hopes i had yesterday#tomorrow i build new hopes for the people i love and those that will be effected by this coming administration#thank god my next therapy appt ended up being schedule for this fri#anyway thanks for reading if you did#i love all of you <3 and i know we can make it through together no matter how tough
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SO TODAY....
(THIS IS ONLY FOR ROSE)
#ok so like we had first 2 classes free ok like literally both the teachers did not come akshsjdh#anyways so like on wednesday 2-3 people in our class were discussing himym and i also joined them because I LOVE HIMYM#(himym is the sitcom how i met your mother)#sp hands guy heard us and was like what show are yall talking about and we told him and he was like okay ill watch#and he is a binge watcher apparently so like when we met today he was like ive watched till ep16 of season1#i was like bro????? how?????#anyways in 2nd free lecture he was like im gonna watch an episode of himym and i was like i wanna watch too#SO he gave me one of his earpods and WE WATCHED THE EPISODE TOGETHER AKSGSJDH#anyways after that hmm okay it was just like normal talking and all#but ya. TALKING.🤭#he is just like me he is also doesnt care about tea or coffee he is a water guy#HE ALSO HAS CAT. AND HE HAS SAME OPINION AND THOUGHTS ABOUT DOGS THAT I HAVE.#and when class was over me and some friends were talking by the shops near our classes ka buliding and hands guy joined later#and then we all group talked timepass for like 30 mins and then we were like its time to go home#so apparently the others all went one direction and me and hands guy were going same direction so we walked#so usually what i do is i walk a bit ahead of my class ka building because i get auto from there#and hands guy lives nearby so he just walks home#so today we were walking and talking and i walked SO much further more than i usually do because we were talking 😄#and thats all. today was nice.#gargi is keysmashing
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and the arguments that i have won against you in my head; in the car, in the shower, and in the mirror before bed…
yeah i’m so tough when i’m alone and i make you feel so guilty and i fantasize about a time you’re a little fuckin’ sorry-
and i try to ꪊꪀᦔꫀ𝕣ડ𝕥ꪖꪀᦔ why you would do this all to me. ‘you must be insecure. you must be so unhappy.’
and i know in my heart: hurt people, hurt people. and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were
ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴇQᴜᴀʟ!!
and i try to be tough. but i wanna scream ‘HOW COULD ANYBODY DO THE THINGS YOU DID SO EASILY?’
and i say that i don’t care.
say that i’m fine.
but you know i can’t let it go, i’vetriedi’ve triedi’vetried for so long… it takes s⃞ t⃞ r⃞ e⃞ n⃞ g⃞ t⃞ h⃞ to forgive but i don’t feel ₛₜᵣₒₙg
#which ever hacker leaked my notes app rants i used as diaries to olivia rodrigo to write this song owe me an apology#no but the fact that she literally put thoughts and feelings and things i’ve done when i’m completely alone#things that i hate because i hate the power it means people still have over me#and she just put it down and released it to the world#she perfectly summarized my two year battle alone with dealing with my trauma in a single song#especially the ‘how could anybody do the things you did so easily?’#because everything i’ve ever said on the situation leaves people speechless and it also makes me realize just how bad it was#like she infiltrated every friend group in a sorority just to get VP and then (maybe unintentionally) turned everyone against me#because she hated me and warned everyone not to be like me (one of my friebds told me she intentionally distanced herself from me because#people thought she’d be the next ‘kelly’ and be annoying and she said she didn’t want that for her. and i’m not even mad at her#because i probably would’ve done the same thing if the tables were turned.) and she did this all while my father was DYING of the most#aggressive form of brain cancer OR had just died#and even tried to comfort me 2 days after he died by saying ‘i was allowed to feel this was because i would be feeling it for the rest of#my life’#she did everything to me#tried to steal my best friend and drive a wedge between us#destroy the relationship i’d built with my pledge class that the sorority insisted on building and developing for each pledge class#made fun of me liking taylor swift#reminded me constantly i wasn’t wanted in the sorority#belittled my knowledge of things and automatically assumed if i said something it was false until a second party agreed with me#she just did all that without batting an eye#told me to my face and over text she never did anything wrong#like… the song just describes it perfectly#pinky tag#kelly babels#sorority tag#the grudge#kelly listens to music
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I’m so tired of my physics lab group because it’s me and then a bunch of guys who went to the same Christian high school in the same town as my university and they just talk about guns all the time.
Today one guy was telling a story about his cousin who’s in Communications so the professors are more liberal so she has to deal with them “talking about pronouns and crap.” Same guy has a sticker on his phone that says “I support FREE SPEECH not ~POLITICAL CORRECTNESS~”
Of course they were all talking about the Citadel shooting in Nashville too and how the shooter was trans.
@the-starlight-papers
#idk if it’s better or worse than my engineering class with the professor who makes a decent number of off color jokes#and is constantly toeing the line of what would get him reported to administration#some guy in engineering class today literally said ‘I’m racist’ and even that professor was like 😬#engineering professor also told some kid who was mouthing off that ‘you make me wish I wasn’t pro life’#engineering professor then started joking that he was going to snap one day because of said kid and then asked us where we would run#I hate engineering sometimes because it’s majority male and majority white#so some people feel like they can just say anything#idk if I’ve mentioned this but I got to college in the south and my school has literally stopped naming residence halls after peopld#and also buildings#they’re all named after their geographic locations#ie Hilltop East and Hilltop West or South English Building#(those are all made up btw but the real ones are basically the same idea)#it also sucks sometimes because sometimes I’m in a student engineering team lab working on a project#and then the guy I’m in the lab working with alone is looking at a flyer for a transphobic speaker coming to campus#in the groupme for the organization that’s bringing him#and then I have to worry about is it safe for me to work on this project with this guy#and it’s been fine so far mostly because we either talk about the project or classes or nothing at all#and I don’t want to join the women in engineering clubs because I’m not a woman#and for my engineering team I’m worried I’ll be the token trans person and they’ll want to put me in their social media outreach or somethin#which maybe if we were back in my home state I’d agree#but here heck no#like I’m fine 95% of the time and then there’s the 5% of the time that makes me realize that what’s acceptable here is fucked up sometimes#and I should probably start standing up to some of these people and saying something#but also I have to keep working with these people and I want to make working with them as painless as possible#there’s been other things lately that have been fucked up too that are kinda specific to the point where I can’t share them here#but yeah#anyways psa to any NMS reading this#if you’re looking at going to a college that offers really generous full rides to all NMS#think about why they’re so desperate to get good student to come to their school
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rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow
#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment#I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR#and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021)#they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say#it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me#and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is#all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school#and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you#everyone keeps calling out of work#we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year#and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting.#but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB#(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me)#I have this terrible suspicion that I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school.#I just… I’m exhausted all the time#and I act like I’m not but I am#this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers)#but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it#when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking#I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today#I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons#I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to#I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7#and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am#he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me#tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers
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also thought i had to write a paper for my class tomorrow only to log on and find out that a) my paper isn't due until wednesday and b) my prof cancelled class tomorrow bc she's sick. hell yeahs all around my friends.
#liveblogging life#when i say the weight was LIFTED#instead i got to spend 5 hours playing veilguard instead. perfection.#i also submitted three of my grad apps then gave myself the weekend off#so i'll be finishing submissions over the next couple of weeks as i tidy up writing samples#there's that. my paper. my memoir for this same class.#and when it's all done. i'm Free.#i mean i still have work but OTHERWISE im free lol#god my free time.... my precious free time.... it will all be Returned to me#this is also why i spent like half my weekend building my reading list for next year lol#im going to speed read thru some manga but WOW im barely making it to 100 books this year :((((#not next year. i'm going to make a dent in my unread books on my shelves if it kills me.#4 days off is literally the BEST god i wish this was every week. i'd die for a three day work week
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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Jesus fucking christ I get tired of sitting here and hearing my dad loudly ripping ass from the other room
Like listen, I get it, I get that you can't control your guts. Like fuck, for a while... as in like months, I was having trouble even leaving the house... still no clue what was even up which makes me feel like my theory about not eating enough is in the lead given... haven't found any allergies I can identify
So I get it and have sympathy (and fear inheriting my dad's guts), but... it's just so fucking gross man
And it's also like... maybe I'm eating, maybe I'm watching a show... whatever it is the mood's kinda ruined by this just... it almost literally couldn't be louder or grosser
I get you can't control your guts but... do something... anything... see a doctor or... anything
It's just nasty. He's not a bad person, but my dad's just a nasty dude
#and it's not like he means to be; he's just... fucking clueless and... just always finds the way to be gross as possible#he drives the uhaul up here and... of course there's piss bottles... awesome#he walks around scratching his nuts; and it's not like... discreet; it's great big raking motions up and down#it's not like he's got no class or something; it's not like he's some hick with it#imagine a fairly well spoken pseudo academic that's just... crass and nasty all the time without even realizing it#I just... I get tired of it#it's better than my mom by far; at least he helps and means well and knows I'd rather live alone#but fucking hell#and what's more... just imagine if I ever let someone crash here... then he's disgusting someone that's not even family; you know?#I like having... I'd love to have my dad as a neighbor#but I fucking hate having him in the same building; being disgusting#walking in and just kinda peeking through the door; not like in a surveillance kinda way; just a... being dumb and clueless#not getting why that's not cool to do to someone#and then just walking up and blather at me when it's like... if I have food; do not talk to me#if I'm typing; do not talk to me#if I'm watching something; do not talk to me#honestly a lot of the people I know on tumblr could probably break those rules cause I'd be like 'sure; come it; lets talk'#but you also probably would take the hint if I just was busy; and you're also not ripping ass outside my door all the time#one time he literally did it right behind my fan... so guess what that fucking does?#and he just doesn't understand#very smart guy; and despite that very stupid#like I'm kinda clueless; I don't think I always pick up cues well#...certainly can often feel like... everything's risking getting snapped at#cause it'll seem like on thing I do will get huge laughs from someone and they love it#and then almost the exact same thing seems to piss them off... I don't know... I may just be bad at shit#but at least if I have to scratch my groin near other people I'll kinda try and get to a corner and do it discreetly#not fucking rake things while talking with people... are you kidding? that should be so obvious not to be ok#and the shitty thing is... I don't think I've ever done more than imply it; but that recurring infection is right on the taint; dead center#that's why they don't want to touch it; that's why when it flairs up I can hardly walk... but it also itches like hell sometimes#so I probably end up feeling something similar to if not identical to what my dad feels... and alone in my room is one thing
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everyday i see clueless westerners (especially white people) peddle thinly veiled hindutva propaganda which they wouldn't know cause they know absolutely nothing about what goes on in india. so here are some signs that that the person you're talking to is a hindu nationalist:
they either do not acknowledge casteism or claim that caste is a western construct. my personal favourite however is dismissing anyone bringing up caste discrimination by saying that the indian constitution outlaws untouchability. they may also bring up the fact that the prime minister belongs to an other backwards class (obc) so clearly india has moved on from caste and hindutva isn't only for the upper castes. they possess a shallow understanding of caste
harping on about "islamic colonisation" : no, the mughals did not colonise india. when you point this out, they will immediately assume that you think muslim invaders were innocent beings who did nothing wrong, which is very much not what anyone is claiming here
while we're on the topic of "islamic colonisation" they will also refer to the demolishing of muslim sites of heritage and worship and then building hindu temples over them as "decolonisation" (cough cough ram mandir) the hindu right also goes around pretending that they're the indigenous people of india
along a similar vein, they will dismiss islamophobia by bringing up instances of hindu oppression in countries like pakistan and bangladesh. it is true that hindus are persecuted in these two countries, however they are used to fuel their oppression complex, that their upper caste hindu self is under attack in india of all places (think a white christian in the united states). you should be in solidarity with minorities everywhere. it is neither transactional or conditional (note: they will never bring up sri lanka. persecution of hindus exists only when the oppressors are muslim)
claiming that hindu nationalism and hindutva are not the same because hindutva means "hindu-ness". that is only the literal translation of the term. like it or not, they're the same thing
they support the indian military occupation of kashmir. they will call it an integral part of kashmir, one reason which will be "hinduism is indigenous to kashmir." they will also bring up the last maharaja of kashmir signing the instrument of accession as further proof, as if the consent of the people was taken
they're zionists. do i even need to explain this. hindutva is just zionism for hindus
they refer to buddhism and jainism (sikhism too sometimes) as branches of hinduism rather than separate, distinct religions
they condemn any resistance to the indian govt as a burden or terrorism (like calling the farmers who are currently protesting a hindrance or terrorists. funny how sikhs are the same as hindus when they support hindu causes but terrorists when they resist oppression...)
they call you a pseudo liberal or a fake leftist. i'm telling you, they don't know jackshit. they can't even tell the difference between a liberal and a leftist and call US unread lmao. bonus points if they call you a liberandu or a sickular 💀
they call india "bharat" when they talk in english. there are in fact multiple indian languages that call india bharat or bharatam, but if they say bharat while talking in english, that is absolutely a hindu nationalist no questions asked
please do your due diligence. read up on hindutva. hindu nationalists have already started making gains in the united states, thanks to rich upper caste nris. do not fall for propaganda
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Red Lobster was killed by private equity, not Endless Shrimp
For the rest of May, my bestselling solarpunk utopian novel THE LOST CAUSE (2023) is available as a $2.99, DRM-free ebook!
A decade ago, a hedge fund had an improbable viral comedy hit: a 294-page slide deck explaining why Olive Garden was going out of business, blaming the failure on too many breadsticks and insufficiently salted pasta-water:
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/940944/000092189514002031/ex991dfan14a06297125_091114.pdf
Everyone loved this story. As David Dayen wrote for Salon, it let readers "mock that silly chain restaurant they remember from their childhoods in the suburbs" and laugh at "the silly hedge fund that took the time to write the world’s worst review":
https://www.salon.com/2014/09/17/the_real_olive_garden_scandal_why_greedy_hedge_funders_suddenly_care_so_much_about_breadsticks/
But – as Dayen wrote at the time, the hedge fund that produced that slide deck, Starboard Value, was not motivated by dissatisfaction with bread-sticks. They were "activist investors" (finspeak for "rapacious assholes") with a giant stake in Darden Restaurants, Olive Garden's parent company. They wanted Darden to liquidate all of Olive Garden's real-estate holdings and declare a one-off dividend that would net investors a billion dollars, while literally yanking the floor out from beneath Olive Garden, converting it from owner to tenant, subject to rent-shocks and other nasty surprises.
They wanted to asset-strip the company, in other words ("asset strip" is what they call it in hedge-fund land; the mafia calls it a "bust-out," famous to anyone who watched the twenty-third episode of The Sopranos):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bust_Out
Starboard didn't have enough money to force the sale, but they had recently engineered the CEO's ouster. The giant slide-deck making fun of Olive Garden's food was just a PR campaign to help it sell the bust-out by creating a narrative that they were being activists* to save this badly managed disaster of a restaurant chain.
*assholes
Starboard was bent on eviscerating Darden like a couple of entrail-maddened dogs in an elk carcass:
https://web.archive.org/web/20051220005944/http://alumni.media.mit.edu/~solan/dogsinelk/
They had forced Darden to sell off another of its holdings, Red Lobster, to a hedge-fund called Golden Gate Capital. Golden Gate flogged all of Red Lobster's real estate holdings for $2.1 billion the same day, then pissed it all away on dividends to its shareholders, including Starboard. The new landlords, a Real Estate Investment Trust, proceeded to charge so much for rent on those buildings Red Lobster just flogged that the company's net earnings immediately dropped by half.
Dayen ends his piece with these prophetic words:
Olive Garden and Red Lobster may not be destinations for hipster Internet journalists, and they have seen revenue declines amid stagnant middle-class wages and increased competition. But they are still profitable businesses. Thousands of Americans work there. Why should they be bled dry by predatory investors in the name of “shareholder value”? What of the value of worker productivity instead of the financial engineers?
Flash forward a decade. Today, Dayen is editor-in-chief of The American Prospect, one of the best sources of news about private equity looting in the world. Writing for the Prospect, Luke Goldstein picks up Dayen's story, ten years on:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-05-22-raiding-red-lobster/
It's not pretty. Ten years of being bled out on rents and flipped from one hedge fund to another has killed Red Lobster. It just shuttered 50 restaurants and declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Ten years hasn't changed much; the same kind of snark that was deployed at the news of Olive Garden's imminent demise is now being hurled at Red Lobster.
Instead of dunking on free bread-sticks, Red Lobster's grave-dancers are jeering at "Endless Shrimp," a promotional deal that works exactly how it sounds like it would work. Endless Shrimp cost the chain $11m.
Which raises a question: why did Red Lobster make this money-losing offer? Are they just good-hearted slobs? Can't they do math?
Or, you know, was it another hedge-fund, bust-out scam?
Here's a hint. The supplier who provided Red Lobster with all that shrimp is Thai Union. Thai Union also owns Red Lobster. They bought the chain from Golden Gate Capital, last seen in 2014, holding a flash-sale on all of Red Lobster's buildings, pocketing billions, and cutting Red Lobster's earnings in half.
Red Lobster rose to success – 700 restaurants nationwide at its peak – by combining no-frills dining with powerful buying power, which it used to force discounts from seafood suppliers. In response, the seafood industry consolidated through a wave of mergers, turning into a cozy cartel that could resist the buyer power of Red Lobster and other major customers.
This was facilitated by conservation efforts that limited the total volume of biomass that fishers were allowed to extract, and allocated quotas to existing companies and individual fishermen. The costs of complying with this "catch management" system were high, punishingly so for small independents, bearably so for large conglomerates.
Competition from overseas fisheries drove consolidation further, as countries in the global south were blocked from implementing their own conservation efforts. US fisheries merged further, seeking economies of scale that would let them compete, largely by shafting fishermen and other suppliers. Today's Alaskan crab fishery is dominated by a four-company cartel; in the Pacific Northwest, most fish goes through a single intermediary, Pacific Seafood.
These dominant actors entered into illegal collusive arrangements with one another to rig their markets and further immiserate their suppliers, who filed antitrust suits accusing the companies of operating a monopsony (a market with a powerful buyer, akin to a monopoly, which is a market with a powerful seller):
https://www.classaction.org/news/pacific-seafood-under-fire-for-allegedly-fixing-prices-paid-to-dungeness-crabbers-in-pacific-northwest
Golden Gate bought Red Lobster in the midst of these fish wars, promising to right its ship. As Goldstein points out, that's the same promise they made when they bought Payless shoes, just before they destroyed the company and flogged it off to Alden Capital, the hedge fund that bought and destroyed dozens of America's most beloved newspapers:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/16/sociopathic-monsters/#all-the-news-thats-fit-to-print
Under Golden Gate's management, Red Lobster saw its staffing levels slashed, so diners endured longer wait times to be seated and served. Then, in 2020, they sold the company to Thai Union, the company's largest supplier (a transaction Goldstein likens to a Walmart buyout of Procter and Gamble).
Thai Union continued to bleed Red Lobster, imposing more cuts and loading it up with more debts financed by yet another private equity giant, Fortress Investment Group. That brings us to today, with Thai Union having moved a gigantic amount of its own product through a failing, debt-loaded subsidiary, even as it lobbies for deregulation of American fisheries, which would let it and its lobbying partners drain American waters of the last of its depleted fish stocks.
Dayen's 2020 must-read book Monopolized describes the way that monopolies proliferate, using the US health care industry as a case-study:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu
After deregulation allowed the pharma sector to consolidate, it acquired pricing power of hospitals, who found themselves gouged to the edge of bankruptcy on drug prices. Hospitals then merged into regional monopolies, which allowed them to resist pharma pricing power – and gouge health insurance companies, who saw the price of routine care explode. So the insurance companies gobbled each other up, too, leaving most of us with two or fewer choices for health insurance – even as insurance prices skyrocketed, and our benefits shrank.
Today, Americans pay more for worse healthcare, which is delivered by health workers who get paid less and work under worse conditions. That's because, lacking a regulator to consolidate patients' interests, and strong unions to consolidate workers' interests, patients and workers are easy pickings for those consolidated links in the health supply-chain.
That's a pretty good model for understanding what's happened to Red Lobster: monopoly power and monopsony power begat more monopolies and monoposonies in the supply chain. Everything that hasn't consolidated is defenseless: diners, restaurant workers, fishermen, and the environment. We're all fucked.
Decent, no-frills family restaurant are good. Great, even. I'm not the world's greatest fan of chain restaurants, but I'm also comfortably middle-class and not struggling to afford to give my family a nice night out at a place with good food, friendly staff and reasonable prices. These places are easy pickings for looters because the people who patronize them have little power in our society – and because those of us with more power are easily tricked into sneering at these places' failures as a kind of comeuppance that's all that's due to tacky joints that serve the working class.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/23/spineless/#invertebrates
#pluralistic#bust-outs#private equity#pe#red lobster#olive garden#endless shrimp#class warfare#debt#looters#thai union group#enshittification#golden gate#monopsony#darden#alden global capital#Fortress Investment Group#food#david dayen#luke goldstein
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Man. I keep putting off doing chores because the process in this new room is giving me massive anxiety, but that means I have even more to do at once. Which is even more anxiety-inducing. I am building the worlds biggest snowball here aren't I
#like. I do not want to drag my literal dirty laundry thru the public lobby of the building. but that's the only way to get to the washers#same with garbage. the only way to get to the bins is thru the public lobby.#I would rather die than have a whole bunch of strangers watch me drag trash around because I'm not supposed to be living where I am#but I can't figure out when the lobby is most likely to be empty because idk the class schedule of all the ppl here#I think somekne should kill me. that'd be easier#armchair speaks#like I know it's usually Dead early Saturday/Sunday mornings but other than that I got nothing#and I kinda need to take out the trash like. three days ago. same with laundry. so I don't wanna wait till Saturday but like#idfk. it should not be this difficult for me yet here we are
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Ayden’s Build
TL;DR: Barbarian 1, Druid 2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 8 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 9 (Peace Domain). Feats: Squire of Solamnia, Remarkable Recovery, Warcaster, Knight of Crowns, Spelldriver, Tough.
Building Ayden was a joy and a journey. To begin we were told we had 20 levels to work with and stats of 20 across the board. The only thing I knew about Ayden from the session 0 was that he was going to be a Cleric of the Everlight and that I wanted to make him the best support character I could. I also knew that the Dawnfather was aware of the mission briefing and so would have directed his growth to the task at hand.
Stats of 20 meant multiclassing into any class was possible and that any ability score based bonuses or proficiency based abilities were going to be very good. I figured that with a warlock and a sorcerer we’d have some pretty good counterspelling and 9th level spell access, so I didn’t worry myself about either of those, instead focusing on making sure we all survived.
The Dawnfather and The Everlight share 2 of 3 Domains. Life and Light. The Everlight’s 3rd domain is Peace. The Peace Domain cleric is an excellent subclass and its 6th level ability, Protective Bond, was something I knew I wanted to build around. The ability to take hits for, and aid, my siblings while teleporting around the battlefield is an excellent support ability and it also lets allies in the bond do the same, fostering sibling unity and cohesion.
With the Dawnfather having Nature as his unique domain separate from the Everlight, and literally sending himself to Exandria to infiltrate a city full of the greatest mages of the age, the Oath of Ancients Paladin seemed like an obvious path. It is the nature Paladin, (his domain) and 7 levels gives you both Aura of Protection and Aura of Warding. This means as Ayden moves through the battlefield with Protective Bond he will be granting allies +5 to saves from his cha as well as resistance to damage from spells. Incredibly good going up against the wizards of Aeor he knew he would encounter. I didn’t want to go to 10 with Paladin because I didn’t want to be immune to frightened. I just felt that fear played too large a role in the reasons the gods were here and although aura of courage is probably my favorite ability going back to 3rd edition, I felt like it wasn’t right for Ayden. He had to fear in order to reinforce his need to hope.
These two classes were set relatively quickly and then I began looking at how else I was going to build him out.
I really liked the idea of being able to grant my allies some extra attacks and so I was looking at battle master to get commanders strike and goading attack as well as maneuvering attack to help take hits for and position my allies. Action Surge is also a great ability that could really come in handy if I needed to save someone and needed one extra action to do so.
I was also looking at the 2nd level Divination Wizard ability Portent. The ability to fully dictate 2 rolls is very powerful in certain circumstances, especially if the numbers are very high or very low.
Both these seemed good but weren’t feeling totally right from a character perspective. They felt too forced.
As I was playing around with these two classes I was also building Aydens backstory. I really liked the idea of him being agriculturally focused, as this aspect of the Dawnfather is actually his youngest. Sun begets days, and thus time and seasons, and as civilization evolves agriculture follows. The fighter levels lent the idea that he has spent some time training under a knight or some such warrior, and I knew that he would eventually find his way to Trist to begin his tutelage and become her cleric. I liked there being these different eras of his life.
It was around this time that I got an awesome email asking me to describe Ayden visually so that the incredibly talented Hannah Friederichs and Cael Lyons could begin to bring Ayden and the Dawnfather to life. I wanted Ayden to be a simply dressed with a shield he took from his mentor, but no sword for striking. They sent 4 sketches and told me I could mix and match as I desired. Image #1 however was exactly as I had envisioned him. It was the simplest and had this depth to his eyes that told the story of a much older soul in this 15 year old body. It was so perfect that it made me realize I had been going in the totally wrong direction with fighter and wizard. The concepts of nature and agriculture were suddenly staring me in the face. It was not wizard, but druid, and his mentor could have taught him to be a paladin as easily as fighter, but if he is the bringer of agriculture who has he brought it to? A remote tribe still hunting and gathering was the answer. Barbarian therefore replaced fighter. I can’t tell you how influential the sketch I received was. It felt like a bolt of lightning suddenly clarified everything.
I was for sure cleric 6, Paladin 7 and now looking at druid and barbarian.
I didn’t know Druid subclasses very well but Circle of the Stars jumped out from the pack just with its name. The Sun after all is a star. When I read its 2nd level abilities Starmap and Starry form it was so obvious. I can cast Guiding Bolt to set up those attacks I wanted to grant, and I can glow instead of wild shape and either heal more or have a massive bonus to maintain the concentration spells I knew I wanted to cast. For the keeper of time to know how to read the stars just felt right. It also feel right that the druids of a tribe that had been hunting and gathering during the tumultuous Calamity would have learned to navigate by the stars, a singular constant in an every changing age.
Barbarian has a number of interesting subclasses but none felt like they clicked. 1 level of Barbarian though, for a character with 20 dexterity and 20 constitution, catapults your AC to 20 and it also gives you a proficiency in Constitution saving throws if you take it as your first class, again reinforcing those concentration rolls. He was found as a child by this barbarian tribe and his first class is also his first community. Barbarian was the strong foundation I would build upon.
I was now Cleric 6, Paladin 7, Druid 2, Barbarian 1. Reorganized to be the order Ayden would have taken them in it becomes the following:
Barbarian 1, Druid 2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 7 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 6 (Peace Domain)
4 more levels to distribute. As a player who has mostly played 3.5 (I think downfall just about doubled the amount of 5E I have played) feats are my absolute favorite things, so getting to multiples of 4 in class levels to grab some was something I wanted to do (also I didn’t have to worry about ability score increases)! I had already given one feat up by taking barb and druid but I made up for it with the human variant. I also took the Knight of Solamnia background to give me Squire of Solamnia, the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns which would give me the ability to grant attacks to my allies without needing battle maneuvers.
So I upped paladin from 7-8 for a feat and then decided to take Cleric from 6-9 because it gave me a feat and access to the spell Dawn. I mean the Dawnfather should be able to cast Dawn after all!
Now to feats
1) Background: Squire of Solamnia to give me the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns
2) Human Variant: Remarkable Recovery. I knew I’d be taking extra damage so having 5 extra hp from any healing I get might just be the difference. It also plays into his background. He had to leave the Barbarian tribe he brought agriculture to because his skin could not retain the ceremonial tattoo ink that would have symbolized his initiation into the community.
3) Cleric 4 Warcaster to get advantage on those concentration checks, that along with proficiency and starry form of the dragon means I need to take 28 damage (56 if it’s a spell) to even have to roll, and when I do I get advantage and proficiency on the check. Getting me to lose concentration is gonna be a task.
4) Paladin 4 Knight of the Crown getting to grant an attack proficiency times per day combos wonderfully with Starmaps free guiding bolt, conveniently also proficiency times per day.
5) Cleric 8 Spelldriver I’m gonna be casting a bunch of spells so the ability to cast multiple each turn is going to make my support spells come out much faster. I have a big fam to take care of!
6) Paladin 8 Tough I really went back and forth between this and Inspiring Leader. Granting all my siblings 25 temp hp is amazing but ultimately I decided that as I’d be tanking a bunch of damage I’d need toughness. Toughness gave me 15 more hp than Inspiring leader would have, and I ended up going down to 14 at one point so it was a decision that very much paid off by a single HP! Don’t wanna pop a deathward if you can help it!
Last but not least we were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards.
All in all Ayden’s build is an incredibly hard to target tanky support character who can move through the battlefield protecting his allies and being an absolute nightmare for enemy spellcasters. The only thing I really didn’t fully consider was just how much damage he would take from Warding Bond which totally bypasses all those wonderfully crafted defenses. As crazy as it is, I think we barely got to scratch the surface of Aydens full potential and it’s probably good those mages decided to cast spells at everyone else because Ayden was going to be a tough character for a spell caster to crack. The Commanding Rally did get to shine allowing characters who specialized in weapon attacks to get a little extra out of those 20 level commitments. Ayden’s build was crafted to keep his siblings alive and let them shine as bright as possible together. I’m very proud of him!
If you read all this then you’re as nerdy as me and deserve a reward!
#critical role#cr downfall#cr spoilers#ayden#cr: downfall#critical role downfall#dawnfather#the dawnfather#critical role spoilers#nick marini#multiclass#multiclassing#support build#this is too long to post on the Beacon Discord so I's posting it here!#beacon#cr speculation#cr c3 spoilers
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Recently I ran across an article about an art center that was doing creative expression classes for people with disabilities. Not that unusual, I've encountered that and trauma-oriented art therapy before, but it was the first time I'd come across the idea since getting diagnosed with ADHD. While the class was aimed more at high-needs disabilities, it occurred to me that I could -- if I wanted -- make non-prose art about being disabled.
Outside of my work in scene design I've never been much of a visual artist because I've never felt I had the combination of "something to say" and "a meaningful way to say it", but I started to question how meaningful and complex I really had to be to just make some statements about having ADHD. I can do it in prose, after all.
So I started thinking about how you would talk, in visual language, about things like time blindness, shame stemming from undiagnosed disability, the shift in behavior that medication can induce. Ways to express my condition to people who don't experience it. I still didn't really know how to build the pieces but whenever I went to an art museum I'd think about how I might do a gallery installation. The centerpiece of my mental gallery was a pair of barcodes, one marked "Neurotypical" and one marked "Neurodivergent".
[ID: An interior view of a small booklet, with pages marked 1 and 2, showing barcodes -- on the left, labeled Neurotypical, and on the right, in slightly weirder configuration, labeled Neurodivergent.]
And then I thought, why not make a zine? Nothing you're thinking of couldn't be put in zine form instead of on a gallery wall.
[ID: The booklet continues to pages 3 and 4; on page 3 is a postage-style label reading AUTISM with up arrows on either side, and on page 4 is a QR code labeled ADHD. The QR code technically should work but it just dumps a block of text I wrote about having ADHD into a browser.]
I grew up with zine culture in the 90s and I always wanted to make one but much like with visual art, I never felt like I had the right kind of thing to say; either I had too much to say or too little, and anyway I wasn't confident that what I wanted to do wouldn't just come off as trite and obvious. But you can make a six-page zine out of a single sheet of paper, so I did: I made Helpful Labels For Strange Brains by idab zines, a division of Extribulum Press. (i--dab is a term for a cuneiform tablet that contains a royal communication.)
[ID: The last two pages feature the same image -- a cereal bowl with a spoon in it, the spoon containing a single Adderall pill. One image, however, is captioned "Wake up. Pour yourself a cup of iced coffee. Fix a bowl of cereal. It's going to be a good day." while the other is covered in a detailed ADHD-style step-by-step process for the same actions, culminating in "It's going to be a day like that."]
I'm pretty pleased with how it came out -- the art all looks intentional and it still has that "taped this together after school" aesthetic I remember fondly from the 90s. And the confines of six pages, each only a few inches square, offers a good structure to keep things clear, simple, and meaningful.
[ID: The cover of the zine, labeled "Helpful Labels For Strange Brains" in a kind of esoteric stampy font.]
Especially nice is that if you wanted to you could just hand out the flat sheet, and let folks fold it into a booklet or not -- there's instructions for folding it on the back of the zine. Additionally I have some sticker backed printer paper so I could print it such that you could literally turn the labels into real labels.
Anyway if you want it, here ya go. You can print it on a single sheet of paper and follow the instructions on the back to fold it. I thought about selling it but I do not have the spoons to do a bunch of printing and folding and shipping.
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