#which ever hacker leaked my notes app rants i used as diaries to olivia rodrigo to write this song owe me an apology | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jewishrizahawkeye · 1 year ago

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and the arguments that i have won against you in my head; in the car, in the shower, and in the mirror before bed…

yeah i’m so tough when i’m alone and i make you feel so guilty and i fantasize about a time you’re a little fuckin’ sorry-

and i try to ꪊꪀᦔꫀ𝕣ડ𝕥ꪖꪀᦔ why you would do this all to me. ‘you must be insecure. you must be so unhappy.’

and i know in my heart: hurt people, hurt people. and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were

ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴇQᴜᴀʟ!!

and i try to be tough. but i wanna scream ‘HOW COULD ANYBODY DO THE THINGS YOU DID SO EASILY?’

and i say that i don’t care.

say that i’m fine.

but you know i can’t let it go, i’vetriedi’ve triedi’vetried for so long… it takes s⃞   t⃞   r⃞   e⃞   n⃞   g⃞   t⃞   h⃞ to forgive but i don’t feel ₛₜᵣₒₙg

#which ever hacker leaked my notes app rants i used as diaries to olivia rodrigo to write this song owe me an apology #no but the fact that she literally put thoughts and feelings and things i’ve done when i’m completely alone #things that i hate because i hate the power it means people still have over me #and she just put it down and released it to the world #she perfectly summarized my two year battle alone with dealing with my trauma in a single song #especially the ‘how could anybody do the things you did so easily?’#because everything i’ve ever said on the situation leaves people speechless and it also makes me realize just how bad it was #like she infiltrated every friend group in a sorority just to get VP and then (maybe unintentionally) turned everyone against me #because she hated me and warned everyone not to be like me (one of my friebds told me she intentionally distanced herself from me because #people thought she’d be the next ‘kelly’ and be annoying and she said she didn’t want that for her. and i’m not even mad at her #because i probably would’ve done the same thing if the tables were turned.) and she did this all while my father was DYING of the most #aggressive form of brain cancer OR had just died #and even tried to comfort me 2 days after he died by saying ‘i was allowed to feel this was because i would be feeling it for the rest of #my life’#she did everything to me #tried to steal my best friend and drive a wedge between us #destroy the relationship i’d built with my pledge class that the sorority insisted on building and developing for each pledge class #made fun of me liking taylor swift #reminded me constantly i wasn’t wanted in the sorority #belittled my knowledge of things and automatically assumed if i said something it was false until a second party agreed with me #she just did all that without batting an eye #told me to my face and over text she never did anything wrong #like… the song just describes it perfectly #pinky tag #kelly babels #sorority tag #the grudge #kelly listens to music

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