#literal acts of service here
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jomiddlemarch · 4 months ago
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bisclavret · 1 month ago
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like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨
i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.
my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.
furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?
following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!
then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.
but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.
even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.
you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.
arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.
and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?
lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.
morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!
with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).
and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.
then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.
imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen — now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.
all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)
in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.
and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.
merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!
#[johnny the dragon voice] ✨ MORGANA ✨#tldr: if you treat your villain with nuance then more nuance will follow and your story will be better for it! groundbreaking i know!!!#what im also getting at is that morgana broke free FIRST so she DESERVED to become the morgan le fay of legend#way before any of the others grew into their own roles.#morgana#bbcm#bbc merlin#analysis#merlin meta#morgana pendragon#theres no focus on the knights here but if you know me you know how angry i am about s4 and s5 gwaine at all times#so in a story with a more nuanced portrayal of villainy and knighthood i think he would openly question his choice to become one#and maybe he'd leave for a while#go home and sort out his daddy issues. have some fruity subplots along the way. visit merlin during his dragonlord era. that sort of thing#and interact with lancelot at least once!!! for gods sake#but i dont see lancelot surviving sorry. that dude will literally die for anything#also scientists and tv execs had not yet discovered bisexuality in 2011 and he already had everyone acting unwise#in ways that barely got past the censors :/ unsustainable#elyan however shouldnt have died. i know gwen ruling alone with only the lamest knights in her service is “the point”#but its a stupid point. elyan is her best knight and they rule camelot together. working class heroes etc.#poetic justice for their father who was murdered by uther + a fun narrative contrast to morgana and arthur#nightmare siblings of all time. banished from the mortal realm for their crimes. could never rule together. stinky#ANYWAY. I HAVE THREE (3) EXAMS DUE THIS WEEK. HERE'S TWO THOUSAND (2000) WORDS OF BBC MERLIN ANALYSIS.
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age-of-moonknight · 2 months ago
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“Knight Time in the City,” Phases of the Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2024), #2.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Jorge Fornès; Colorist: Lee Loughridge; Letterer: Cory Petit
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slightly-sad-sloth · 2 years ago
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Little fandom vent; sometimes I get annoyed at the way fandom reduces Damian down to stabby child who only cares about himself and does murder. Like yeah while I get fandom almost always reduces characters down to their funniest or snappiest traits Damian's just doesn't make sense.
Like his whole character is about how much he DOESNT want to be those things.
Damian cares so so so much about other people he just struggles to express it bc it takes a lot for him to trust someone enough to believe they're not going to pull the rug out from under him or betray him somehow. If he didn't care about other people he wouldn't have spent months trying to find Martha's pearls in the sewer, risking his life bc there was a bounty on his head at this point and further ruining his image with Bruce (who thought Damian was just sneaking off and putting himself in danger). He wouldn't have denounced the league and everything he knew to protect a man he'd met less than a year ago. He wouldn't have purposely failed a timed test as Robin to get across the city as fast as possible (a test that would've allowed him to go out alone as Robin and given him more independence one of things Damian values very highly) instead he went over the allowed time by more than 10 hours BC he helped old women with their shopping and walked women home after they were robbed and he sat with a man he saw crying in his apartment for more than 2 hours just having tea with him. I could go on and on about all the genuinely kind things he does bc Damian's empathy and kindness is one of his defining traits actually.
And yeah he used to kill people and he was more prone to violence than the other Robins but he was literally raised in an environment where his worth and by proxy his survival was tied to how well he did murder. I'm pretty sure if you raised any child in an environment where since they were born they were rewarded for killing and violence but punished for showing mercy and told them that it's for the greater good, that they're special and that there's nothing wrong with killing if the ends justify the means they'd end up the same.
Not to mention Damian fights so hard to not be violent bc he doesn't want to be, the people Damian admires most in the world (Dick and Jon) both based their entire personality around Superman (also it's confirmed Supes is his fav justice Leaguer in supersons). Damian wants to be like them so bad and wants to be kind and outgoing and as pacifist as you can get as a vigilante. Damian struggles so much to be that person but it's not as easy as just stopping when you've been conditioned your whole life that killing is the right move and that your worth as a person and the love of those around is dependent on you doing it. He literally keeps a sketch book where he just draws out all the intrusive violent thoughts he gets while fighting villains to get the anger and compulsion out so that he DOESN'T do those things. And Damian feels immensely guilty about all of his past murders which is shown over and over. When he kills no-body (an action he did to protect Bruce) he asks Bruce afterwards how he's supposed to make amends, how he's supposed to live with it.
Which leads me onto the other thing (and hopefully the last cause wow this is getting long) even Damian at his absolute worst only performs extreme violence out of either self defense or logic to him. He doesn't do it out of maliciousness (or at least that isn't the motivating factor). His worst actions were probably in his introduction where he 1) He accosted Alfred and stole the key to exit the batcave 2) Decapitated a villian 3) Attacked Tim
So let's get background on these events from Damian's pov. Damian has never been told who his father is and has to duel his mother every year on his birthday for the chance to find out. And then on his 10th birthday he wins and then that same night he's taken on a plane to go live with this man who he's told about on the plane ride over, then his first impression of him is Bruce fighting a bunch of manbats. His mother says she's leaving him with him indefinitely not telling him when she'll be back. And then this man who he only found out about hours beforehand takes him on another plane to a foreign country where he knows no-one and he finds out his father has other children as well. He's then locked in a small room adjoining a fucking cave full of weapons and told virtually nothing with no-one really talking to him except for them telling him that oh yeah everyone you know and trust is evil and your whole world view is wrong. And then when he yells at Bruce and has what's honestly best described as a temper tantrum (BC oh yeah he was literally 9 years old until a couple hours ago) Bruce in a bid to try and control his anger (since he's not sure how dangerous he is yet) uses league tactics on Damian telling him that he's dishonouring those who taught him. So the literal child whose spent his 10th birthday being flown around the globe to be a dumped in a foreign country with a man he's never met and only knows is a good fighter with a family consisting of an unknown amount of other allies who are similarly trained and then was locked in a room after being told his whole life is a lie might be forgiven for latching onto the only familiar thing here and going 'oh! Now I know how this works'
With the knowledge that Damian definitely decided from this conversation that the bats operate the same as the league it's pretty clear his reasoning is
1) Accosting Alfred and and stealing the key - a) I don't think you'd wanna be locked in a space by a bunch of strangers either no matter how nice the space is b) he probably assumed it was a challenge to see whether he was able to break out and a way they were testing his worth/ability
2) Decapitated a villian - once again assuming this is a test and trying to prove his worth/help his father in the mission to stop crime he was just told about
3) attacked Tim - a) Damian assumes that since Tim is home that he must be the current favourite and it's already known that in the league the way you replace someone is by killing them thus proving you were better than them. B) in the league if you were not the favourite/the best you were disposable c) the only way Damian knows how to earn/receive love is by performing violence, it's pretty reasonable that a 10 year old would try to go above and beyond to earn their new father's love (especially for a child like Damian whose always looking for that unconditional love he's been denied)
From Damian's perspective here he's being the best son anyone could want, he's doing the most past the point he'd be expected to and only being met with anger and disgust. Not to mention that from his view he's literally ensuring his safety since once again in the league Damian was one of the only people whose safety was ensured by proxy of him being the heir/favourite, we literally see them kill other leaguers as part of training.
Like this isn't to excuse what he did or say it's right but it is to point out that it WAS right from Damian's point of view and that he doesn't do what he does out of malice or blood thirst he's just a small child who quite literally didn't know any better.
(also him being mean is similarly a self defense thing, it's fairly common in abused kids. It's the logic of you can't hurt me if I hurt you first/you can't hurt me if I don't let you get close enough)
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teatreejammer · 4 months ago
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top: cup from the much newer slushie machine den item, juice hut minigame cup
bottom: juice hut game station, the cups outside the hut you get for playing it
??????
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subsequentibis · 1 year ago
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khamsin redraws from the one cutscene to get the Feel for him better and also bc he pulls some great faces
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aeoris4lovers · 2 years ago
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Angstpril 2023 Day One: Liar
There were very few things in life that Eadwulf insisted upon without any chance of compromise. Choosing battles was a matter of survival under the tutelage of Master Ikithon; incurring punishment was easy enough to do even without the added risk that stubbornness presented. To resist bending only made it inevitable that one would eventually have to break, and as far as Eadwulf was concerned, the world offered little of great enough importance to justify tempting that fate.
It was not an oath made lightly, then, when he promised that he would return every day that he was able to one particular cell in the depths of Vergesson Sanatorium.
Astrid refused to speak to him for weeks after the incident, after what he did that night to save her from a fate far worse than a scar. So, with no one there to swear it to, he made his promise to the gods themselves.
He knelt on the floor of his bedroom, hands clasped together in his lap. Outside the small window above his bed, the cool light of the nearly-full moon fanned out across the skies, setting the shadowed room aglow with the night’s ghostly haze. His gaze settled on the nearest mountain peaks; ancient and immense and unmoving, he thought they must be the closest things to gods he would ever lay his eyes on. When thoughts of his past, of his people, of his own actions that night threatened to creep to the front of his mind, he pressed them back into the darkness of memory. They were gone now; there was nothing more to be done for them. Instead, he turned his thoughts again to Bren, to bright red hair and wild eyes and roaring flames and the crack of rock against bone. 
“If I condemned him to this fate,” he whispered, so quiet it was more thought than speech, “let me be the one to see him through it.”
Only a moment later, the soft moonlight was eclipsed by the silhouettes of two ravens coming to rest on the windowsill, and he knew somewhere deep within him that his oath had been sealed.
The next morning, he rose earlier than usual and ate his breakfast as quickly as he could manage to hold it down. The sun still hadn’t even begun to show itself in the young day’s sky when he slipped past the guards at the sanatorium, giving each of them a look which told them not to stand in his way if they valued their lives. They had no way of knowing that, in truth, he wasn’t sure if he would have the courage to make good on that threat; they only saw the determination in his eyes and stepped aside. 
As he pushed through hall after hall, he wasted no time looking at anything other than the faces in each cell, searching for blue eyes and red hair. Any strange looks that may have been aimed his way were lost in the blur of stone and bars and wrong faces. 
When he finally turned a corner and saw a short-cropped burst of orange in the nearest cell, he was just in time to stop the guard who was preparing to enter with whatever sad excuse for a breakfast they had prepared for the day. He caught the guard by the arm, stooping down to look her in the eye, and pressed a few coins into her hand.
All he said was, “Let me.”
She stared at him for a long few seconds, head tilted to one side, before shrugging.
“If you insist.”
Handing him the tray of oatmeal and water, she unlocked the door of Bren’s cell and started off toward the next one down, leaving Eadwulf there alone. He slipped through the door, closed it behind him, and crouched down next to Bren, truly taking in his current state for the first time. 
Perhaps the most noticeable thing should have been how beat up he was – the dark bruises, the blood that no one had bothered to wash from his skin. But instead, all Eadwulf could see was how empty he looked. There was always such a fire behind his eyes, a kind of passion and life there, like his mind was working so feverishly to puzzle the world together that you could watch it happening from the outside, and now? That fire had been all but doused. His eyes were glazed over, wandering helplessly around the space, looking through it all and not truly seeing any of it. There was a slight strain on his face, a clench to his brow that Eadwulf knew his resting face didn’t possess, which betrayed some process of thought, no doubt an unpleasant one. It was distant, though, and passive, as though the thoughts had taken on a life of their own within his mind and he, in this clouded state, was helpless to resist or engage them at all. When his gaze finally fell on Eadwulf, there was a soft spark of recognition that sent Eadwulf’s heart into his throat.
Eadwulf returned every morning after that, and again every night, so long as he wasn’t off on a mission or locked away for the sake of some punishment. Each morning, he fed Bren whatever breakfast the guards had prepared, careful to make it a far more gentle process than the other meals likely involved. As Bren’s hair grew longer with time, Eadwulf took to brushing it, and trimming it when the ends began to fray. A few times, he considered cutting it short again; surely, it would be more comfortable for Bren to have less of it. But there was no ignoring how his eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of it being brushed, or how he hummed in a way that almost seemed to approach contentment — better to keep it long, Eadwulf always ultimately decided. 
At night, Eadwulf would clean him — easy enough to do with a simple spell, but most nights Eadwulf wiped his face and hands the mundane way first, probably more for his own sake than for Bren’s — and tended to whatever wounds may have been sustained since the last visit. Then, he would take out whatever books he had been able to find that day, sit by Bren’s side, and read. Bren’s favorite of the books, judging by the way his eyes brightened ever so slightly at the sight of its cover, was an old children's story about a young boy and a cat prince, so they always started and finished with that one. In between, they cycled through as many of the other books as Eadwulf thought they safely had time for, and by the time he closed the fairytale for the final time, Bren was almost always slumped against his side, asleep. 
Eventually, once the rifts between them had been repaired, Astrid joined him for some of his visits, though she was quickly given more responsibilities than him and often found it more difficult to get away. On those days, Astrid would braid Bren’s hair once he had brushed it in the mornings, and alternated reading with him at night.
And after every nighttime visit, he would sit in his bed and write a few lines in a journal: how the day’s visits had gone, what had gone on in the outside world that day or over the past few days, what he and Astrid were doing in their own lives. Someday, he told himself, Bren would have his mind back. Someday, he would hand over the journal, a meticulous record of the days Bren was locked away. Someday, Bren would be able to read it, and it would be as if he hadn’t missed a thing at all.
In all that time spent in Bren’s cell, Eadwulf never feared being discovered by Master Ikithon — not out of carelessness or apathy toward the consequences he would inevitably incur, but because he knew it was foolish to assume he hadn’t already been discovered at the very start. The archmage’s gaze took immense care to avoid, and nowhere was it more omnipresent than in the halls of the sanatorium. The chances that he had gone unnoticed were laughably slim — it was better to assume Master Ikithon was well aware, that a confrontation would come soon enough.
And come it did.
One morning, nearly two years into his visits, Eadwulf arrived at Bren’s cell to see his teacher standing there, calmly watching him approach. Inside the cell, he could see Bren’s eyes wide and his face held more tensely than usual. He was shifting slightly where he sat, as though his own body were the walls of a prison preventing him from running away.
All at once, Eadwulf was overcome with the urge to run forward, to lunge at Ikithon, to scream, because how dare he come here and strike that kind of fear into someone so helpless, hasn’t Bren been through enough? But he pushed the urge down and kept calm as he walked in spite of it. It was him that the archmage was angry with, it was him who would face the consequences of his actions; Bren had no reason to be afraid.
As it turned out, neither did he. Master Ikithon wasn’t angry, not at Eadwulf nor Bren; he never said or even suggested that Eadwulf would be punished, and the calm smile never fell from his face. He seemed entirely unfazed — pleased, even — by Eadwulf’s actions. 
“You are welcome to visit our dear Bren whenever you wish, Eadwulf,” he said in a tone that could almost be mistaken for good-natured, “as is Miss Becke. In fact, I think it’s wonderful that you three have grown to care so much for each other, even after all this time. By all means, do continue to come visit him if it pleases you.” Moving closer, he added in a lower tone, “I would only urge you to remember that it is for you, yes? As much as it pains me to say this, Bren is — how shall I put this? — absent, by all accounts. You are a smart boy, I have no doubt you’ve noticed. Each time you leave this place, it is to him as if you were never here at all; he won’t remember. The sharp young man we knew is, I’m afraid, no longer with us.”
And every night since then, as silence fell over the sanatorium’s halls, Eadwulf would look down at Bren, tucked against his side the same way they had once grown used to laying in their beds, and ask himself: how could that possibly be true?
How, when he still squirmed at the mere sight of his old teacher standing nearby, when his eyes still sparked at the sight of his favorite fairytale’s cover, when he still remembered how to fall asleep next to Eadwulf like it was as simple as breathing, could Bren be gone? How could it be possible that such a sharp mind, so full of passion and of life, simply slipped away? Even if he remembered none of it, even if each day felt to him like the first time, Bren seemed in his own way to welcome their company far more than any other’s, to relax in some small way at their presence; did that not count for something?
It would take him many more years to truly make sense of it, to fully understand the weight of what it meant, but the simple fact remained: that Bren was gone was the first of Trent Ikithon’s lies that Eadwulf ever saw through.
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tciddaemina · 2 years ago
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sort of hate people who leave negative stuff in the bookmarks of a fic tbh. like sure yeah you have no obligation to write anything, but if you are going to write something why the fuck would you make it a bland as list of all the things you disliked about the work
like bro, you could just keep it in your head. say it out loud even. write it on a post it note if you must. but like damn why the fuck would you ever write a laundry of your shitty little peeves somewhere that the author is able to see it. authors can and do browse peoples comments in the bookmarks of their works bc people sometimes leave really touching heartwarming stuff there
just like. jesus fuck. if you have nothing nice to say then youre honestly free to shut the fuck up and move on
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just-your-average-tangerine · 11 months ago
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Me, standing in the kitchen waiting for the oven to preheat
My mother, from the next room without even looking at or speaking to me: you better knock off that fucking attitude!
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army-of-bee-assassins · 2 years ago
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just got to be a bad practice patient for the endoscopy class 👍
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calciferstims · 2 years ago
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aaaaahhh I’m glad I pushed myself to make some things again bc it’s reminding me why I love doing requests so much :))) I know some people always assume that if they request something from a creator they’re annoying them, but I truly get so much joy out of making silly little gifts for people and getting to create a little happiness!!!! especially when people send me requests for like the most niche random characters or subjects and I just know that they don’t get a lot of content for Their Thing… that’s when I really smile because I know I get to make something that will make them super happy :))))
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mxactivist · 1 year ago
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Support the BBC for having a trans character in recent episodes of 'Doctor Who'
Apparently the BBC (UK) has had 144 complaints about a recent episode of Doctor Who because it contained an openly trans character.
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I've made a complaint to the BBC that there weren't enough transgender characters in Doctor Who. I would love if 144 other people did the same thing. Here's the link: https://www.bbc.co.uk/contact/complaints/make-a-complaint/#/Complaint
(For your easy reference: "The Star Beast" aired on 25/11/2023 on BBC One, and the trans character is called Rose.)
Please note that the complaint form asks for your UK postcode, so only UK folks can join in with this - but if you suspect you might have any UK-based followers, maybe give us a reblog to boost the signal?
Edit: I'm told that you can fill in the form even if you're outside of the UK, because the BBC provide service to many countries other than the UK, including the USA! Go for it. :D
Reply to confirm that you've done it, so I can keep a count!
Here's my complaint:
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I recommend:
Avoid sarcasm or irony. Assume your post will be taken literally. If you are clearly joking or being mean you will be ignored or misunderstood.
Include some gratitude/appreciation. It's pretty great that they included a trans woman in a positive way, and they should know that they have explicit support for that.
~
Edit again: I'm seeing some concerns in the replies/reblogs that the BBC might not distinguish between "less trans people, please" complaints and "more trans people, please" complaints. Rest assured, this is nothing to worry about - the BBC publish fortnightly complaint reports, and they do pay enough attention to know when a complaint is in favour of or against trans inclusion. In fact, their 20 November – 3 December 2023 report is where the various news articles are getting the 144 complaints figure; that report says there were precisely 144 complaints that they have categorised as "Anti-male / inappropriate inclusion of transgender character".
That means the next complaints fortnight window is 4 December - 17 December. We have 8 more days to beat 144. By my count, over Tumblr, WhatsApp, the Fediverse and Telegram, we have 85 so far, which is well over halfway there.
Also, when you've done it, please reply to confirm you have done it, so that I can count us!
Thank you, everyone!
~
Edit, 2023-12-11, 1am UK time:
We did it! I've just been counting up responses, and it looks like sometime yesterday evening we hit 144 complaints/comments in favour of Rose Noble and more excellent trans characters in Doctor Who! (We're actually up to 157 now, fantastic.)
So, my next plan is to submit a Freedom of Information Act request to the BBC sometime in the next few days, asking for complaints and compliments figures. Then I'd ideally (energy and time permitting) like to put together a press release that I can send out to the publications that promoted the tiny "144 anti-trans complaints" figure, showing them that there has been far more feedback in favour of trans representation than against.
I'll keep you posted.
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binders-and-beanies · 11 months ago
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I am having. A very bad day
#car repairs taking multiple days and costing more than I’ll make this entire ‘break’#dad berating me for getting my car worked on at all + treating me like I’m stupid for taking it to the only place that would do it#when it’s literally my money out of my pocket#literally forced me to cancel one of the services to get it done somewhere else that will take longer#bc he sees every car issue as an opportunity to leave me without transportation bc he wants me isolated and dependent#complained to the people at this second repair shop about how stupid it was for me to get it done at the literal only reliable place here#complained the whole drive home about my mom being poor and a burden and basically asked me to tell her that#asked me to get her family to Also ask her to just decide to stop being poor#he also consistently lies about money knowing that I know he’s lying#bc I see his tax info I know how much he has. it’s hundreds of thousands#he complains that he has ‘literally no money’ after he has to spend his ~bonus~ on anything that’s not another international vacation#imagine having a fucking bonus. my entire last paycheck covered 10% of part 1/2 of my car repairs#I’m already upset about having to spontaneously pay $1000 + whatever this ‘cheaper’ place charges me. tomorrow if I’m VERY LUCKY#I don’t need him treating this like something I did to spite him. when I’m the one who paid#I don’t need him treating me like a bad person for needing a car repair#I don’t need him reminding me my mom may be literally left to die once he retires in a year#I’m having a bad enough day. I only rarely see him and this is how he acts when I do#and then he’s like why don’t I see you more#mine#txt#personal#+ he talked abt needing to have a ‘hard conversation’ w my mom and now I have to decide whether to tell her#whether to give her the heads up or let her not be more afraid than she already is. this should not be my responsibility
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chosolala · 6 months ago
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ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ jjk characters in relationships
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here’s just some cute little headcannons on how i think the jujutsu kaisen guys would treat you when they’re in a relationship with u :]
characters: yuji, megumi, yuta, inumaki
౨ৎ ⋆。˚
yuji itadori
he is constantly trying to show off and impress you every chance he gets
probably lifts his shirt a lot because ‘he gets hot’ but really just wants to show off his abs
his hands always somehow find their way to your butt
he wants to be with you 24/7
he loves studying with you because he knows you guys are gonna do everything but study, he always brings snacks for you guys
laughing with you 24/7
always bragging and showing you off to todo
he secretly wants your approval over everything he does, you mean the most to him
your parents, siblings, dogs, grandparents everyone loves him, he’s the biggest sweetheart
super clingy, take that as you will
whenever you guys both have free time he takes you out to grab fast food
he loves blowing you kisses it’s so cute
he makes those capcut tiktok edits of you and sends them to you
he is answering your texts right away, even if he’s on a mission he’ll be texting you with one hand and fighting with the other
you #1 meat rider, he takes your side on everything even if he knows you’re wrong you guys are sinking together
megumi fushiguro
unintentionally apart of the sassy man apocalypse
even though you guys are dating he gets super flustered and nervous around you
like he’s scared to be too flirty or do anything too risky incase he scares you away
it takes a lot for you to crack that hard shell of his and get him to express any emotion
when he’s angry or upset after missions he doesn’t talk to you at all and just goes mute or hides away in his room for a while
secretly tries to impress you (like subtly)
he’s pretty shy about relationship stuff at first, he fumbles over his words and blushes a lot when he’s trying to be romantic at first
if someone is less that polite to you he will literally send them home with their tail between their legs
very protective over you
is secretly scared that you’ll leave him for someone better than him since he isn’t the best with communication in general and has a hard time expressing his feelings
constantly trying to make you love him more with small acts of service everyday or even just straight up buying you stuff
doesn’t really like physical touch that much but he tries his best for you, he’s like really stiff when you try and cuddle him
yuta okkotsu
his camera roll is just pictures of you
he is head cutie patootie
sometimes when you both can’t sleep you have like the craziest deepest convos ever and he’ll just drop the darkest lore on you
if you aren’t a sorcerer he tries to keep you as far away from that as possible
compliments you all the time even if you’re just waking up
he gives the warmest hugs ever and he always smells so good
he isn’t too touchy but he loves walking with his arm around your waist or shoulder
kisses you on the head/forehead all the time
you guys have movie nights all the time, he always sets it up so cute for you guys with drinks and snacks and blankets for you
he wouldn’t get jealous but sometimes he overthinks
he loves when you praise him,
hes always blushing with you, you make him nervous but in a cute way
he loves telling you about small things in his life, like he gets so excited to tell you about his funny dream or about the cute stray dog he followed to the city
he loves doing your favorite activities with you
he loves sitting between ur thighs and letting you play w his hair
toge inumaki
he’s the biggest troll, like he’s always messing around with u
he’s fairly touchy in public, he usually always has his arm around you
he doesn’t really get jealous but he gives death stares when guys flirt w you in public
he got you hooked onto all his favorite video games and you guys play online together
that boy keeps you FED. bringing you snacks and food 24/7
he loves packing lunches for you
you and him are married on his tomadachi life island
he always has funny comebacks and replies when you text
he likes carrying you around on his back, piggy back rides
he’s lowkey a freak, he’s always texting u something crazy just out of the blue
he bought you guys matching necklaces
he’s always pampering you, he loves to take care of you
he loves holding your hand, if you guys fall asleep together your fingers are always intertwined
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plutonianeris · 26 days ago
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Jupiter and your Future Husband 🖤💍
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Jupiter in the 1st House or Aries: Right from the jump, this is someone who’s been captivated by you the moment they saw you. You walk into a room, and their friends literally catch them staring, eyes wide, like they’ve seen a goddess. They probably say things like, "Who is that?" or "Wow, she's incredible." Jupiter in your 1st House brings someone bold and super charismatic, like a breath of fresh air. He’s got a magnetic presence and a laugh that fills the room. He’s a natural optimist who sees you as a dream come true, and he isn’t afraid to approach you with that confidence. He’ll treat you like a queen right off the bat and isn’t afraid to show the world just how mesmerized he is by you.
Jupiter in the 2nd House or Taurus: This man’s been admiring you from a distance, patiently watching, maybe liking your photos on ig. There’s this quiet, steady admiration he respects your worth and wants to add value to your life. He has this natural vibe of wanting to spoil you, make you feel safe and secure, and show you how deeply he appreciates who you are. He might have been a bit guarded with his feelings before meeting you, but you light up something in him that makes him want to open up. He’s likely successful or financially stable, and he sees you as the ultimate prize a rare gem worth cherishing.
Jupiter in the 3rd House or Gemini: This one’s the type who will slide into your DMs with the most charming, witty comments that leave you smiling (He can "rizz" you up as the kids like to say these days). He’s been captivated by the way you express yourself your thoughts, your humor, the way you speak or write. When he saw you, he was instantly hooked, thinking, “Who is she?” and feeling that pull to get to know you on a deeper level. He’s smart, curious, and probably has a way with words himself. He might’ve been a bit guarded or aloof with his emotions before, but with you, he’s suddenly willing to talk about things he never thought he’d share. You’re like his muse, and he’ll love engaging with you in deep conversations.
Jupiter in the 4th House or Cancer: There’s something so soul-deep about this connection. He’s seen you as someone he wants to come home to from the very start, even if he couldn’t fully understand why. When you post a story or picture, he gets this little pang of warmth, imagining a future where he’s in the background of that photo, sharing those cozy moments with you. He’s gentle, warm-hearted, and would go out of his way to make you feel safe. With a deep sensitivity, he might’ve been through some emotional growth before you came along, learning to trust his heart again. With you, he feels seen, understood, and healed.
Jupiter in the 5th House or Leo: He’s been watching your social media and sees you as this radiant, captivating spirit. You’re a mystery he wants to uncover, someone who brings color and excitement into his world. He’s got a playful energy and is incredibly drawn to how unique and confident you are. When he saw you, he probably had to do a double take, thinking, “She’s the one.” He might be a bit of a creative himself, someone who values self-expression, and he’s absolutely infatuated with the way you live life so openly. He sees you as someone who’ll make his life feel like a never-ending adventure, full of joy, creativity, and romance.
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Jupiter in the 6th House or Virgo: Here’s someone who admires the way you move through life with purpose and care. He’s low-key been following your life for a while, admiring your routines, your kindness, your dedication. You’re like his inspiration to be better, healthier, more grounded. He’s deeply thoughtful, maybe even a bit shy, but he’s incredibly genuine. He wants to work for your love, showing up in quiet ways that make a difference little acts of service that show you how much he cares. He’s got this gentle, nurturing vibe, and he’s completely mesmerized by how put-together you are. He sees you as a grounding force, someone who brings meaning and beauty into everyday life.
Jupiter in the 7th House or Libra: Your future husband has been patiently waiting for someone exactly like you. He’s the type who believes in true partnership and harmony, and he’s drawn to your warmth, your grace, the way you make everything feel balanced. When he saw you, he felt that instant connection, like this is it. He’s a natural romantic, the type who wants to hold your hand through life and be your biggest supporter. Before you, he might have struggled with relationships, maybe keeping people at arm’s length, but with you, he wants to go all in. You’re the missing piece he’s been searching for, the one he’s been ready to commit to forever.
Jupiter in the 8th House or Scorpio: Intense, magnetic, and maybe a bit mysterious, this man feels like destiny. The minute he saw you, he felt something deep shift, like he’d known you in another lifetime. He’s probably been through some serious emotional growth, and he sees you as someone who lights up the darkest corners of his life. He’s captivated by your strength and your vulnerability, the way you’re not afraid to be real. He’s not just looking for a fling he wants that soul-deep connection, the one that transforms both of you. When you’re together, it feels like a cosmic bond, something otherworldly and electric.
Jupiter in the 9th House or Sagittarius: This man has a wandering spirit, and when he saw you, he felt like he’d finally found home. He’s captivated by your mind, your ideals, and the way you’re constantly seeking knowledge. You’re like this beautiful enigma to him, someone who expands his world and makes him feel alive. He might’ve been a bit of a loner before, always chasing dreams, but you make him want to settle down. He’ll see you as his partner in adventure, the one who’ll travel the world with him and dive into life’s biggest questions. You’re his inspiration, his muse, the one who makes him want to reach new heights.
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Jupiter in the 10th House or Capricorn: The moment he saw you, he knew he’d met someone who’d change his life. He’s got big goals, and he’s deeply inspired by your strength and ambition. You’re like this beautiful force, someone who embodies grace and resilience, and he’s in awe. He’s probably known about you for a while, admiring your accomplishments and how you carry yourself. He sees you as someone he can build an empire with, someone who brings out the best in him. With you, he feels like he’s found a partner who’s not only supportive but challenges him to grow. You’re the queen to his king, the one who completes his vision.
Jupiter in the 11th House or Aquarius: This man sees you as his best friend and lover all in one. He’s been quietly admiring you for a while, possibly through mutual friends or social circles. There’s this warmth to you, a kindness that he finds irresistible. When he first saw you, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to meet someone who just gets him. He wants to build something meaningful with you, something that goes beyond just the two of you. He’s drawn to your vision, your compassion, and he knows that with you, he’s found a true partner who’ll stand by his side through anything.
Jupiter in the 12th House or Pisces: Mysterious and deeply spiritual, this man feels like he’s known you across lifetimes. He’s the type who watched you from afar, maybe even feeling shy about approaching because he sees you as someone almost out of reach, like a dream. He’s been through his own journey, and he sees you as a guiding light, someone who brings meaning and beauty to his life. You’re like his secret muse, his angel in disguise. He’s mesmerized by the way you bring peace to his world, and he’s willing to put in the work to make you feel loved, safe, and cherished.
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Jupiter Aspects and Your Future Husband's Qualities❤️‍🔥
Jupiter-Sun Aspects: With Jupiter and the Sun intertwined, this is someone who radiates warmth a natural optimist who just lights up any space they walk into. From the moment they meet you, they’re captivated by your energy, drawn to your glow. They’re probably fun loving and generous even to a fault, going out of their way to make you feel cherished. Imagine a partner who’s always planning little surprises, making you laugh, and showing you that life together can be an adventure. They’ll adore celebrating you and cheering on your dreams like they’re their own. With them, you’ll feel like you’re with your number-one fan.
Jupiter-Moon Aspects: These aspects bring such a beautiful, nurturing energy. When Jupiter meets the Moon, it creates someone who’s deeply attuned to your feelings, always wanting to make sure you feel loved and secure. This is the partner who brings you coffee in bed, senses your mood shifts before you even say a word, and makes you feel like you’re the center of their world. They’re the type who knows how to comfort you, who values a soulful connection and will create a safe space for your heart to flourish. With them, it’s a love that feels soft, deep, and truly devoted.
Jupiter-Saturn Aspects: When Jupiter meets Saturn, it brings a blend of optimism and groundedness. This partner believes in lasting love and isn’t here to play games. They might have an “old soul” vibe, or maybe life has taught them the beauty of stability and commitment. With you, they’re looking for something real, something solid. They’re probably successful or hardworking, and they’ll want to share that journey with you. They believe in a love that’s both supportive and fun a partner in adventure and a rock to lean on. With them, you’ll feel cherished in a love that’s balanced and true.
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Jupiter-Mercury Aspects: If you’re drawn to a Jupiter-Mercury energy, you’re in for a partner who’s totally captivated by your mind. They see you as the perfect partner for exploring life’s wonders, both mentally and physically. Imagine someone who’s a natural conversationalist, sending you thoughtful texts, getting lost in deep conversations, and admiring the way you see the world. They’ll be there cheering you on as you follow your passions, and they’ll value growth and learning together. With them, life is a journey of shared curiosity, where each day brings something new to talk about, dream up, or discover.
Jupiter-Uranus Aspects: With Jupiter and Uranus joining forces, this partner is anything but ordinary. They’re a free spirit, maybe a bit of a rebel, and definitely unconventional when it comes to love. They might have a unique style or quirky hobbies that add spark to your connection. They’re the kind who sees love as an adventure, encouraging you to break boundaries and be unapologetically yourself. With them, romance won’t follow the usual script it’ll be spontaneous, thrilling, and always fresh. You’ll feel like you’re on a journey of self-discovery together, each step bringing out the most authentic sides of each other.
Jupiter-Pluto Aspects: Jupiter-Pluto aspects bring a magnetic, transformative energy. There’s an intensity in the way they love, a feeling that this connection is life-changing. They’re captivated by your depth and will want to know every piece of you, never settling for surface-level. There’s an aura of power about them whether it’s in their presence, their drive, or their passion for life. They see love as a force that empowers both of you, and they’ll support you fiercely through everything. This is a partner who sees you as their equal, a person they’ll build a world of strength, resilience, and passion with.
Jupiter-Neptune Aspects: When Jupiter meets Neptune, romance feels like a fairytale. This is someone who’s deeply compassionate and has a gentle, dreamy quality. They’re likely lost in their own world sometimes, and they see love as something magical. With them, life will feel like a daydream you’re not just a partner, you’re their muse. They’re the type to hold your hand under the stars, write you poetry, and make you feel like you’re living in a beautiful, endless love story. In their eyes, love is soulful, tender, and otherworldly, and they’ll make you feel like you’re living in a fantasy come to life.
Jupiter-Venus Aspects: This aspect is all about pure romance and indulgence. With Jupiter enhancing Venus’s charm, this is someone who loves to spoil you. They’re affectionate, thoughtful, and not afraid of grand gestures. Imagine someone who’s always surprising you with flowers, planning sweet dates, and making you feel adored. They have a big heart and see you as the person who makes life so much sweeter. With them, you’ll experience a love that’s joyful, warm, and overflowing. They’ll treat you like royalty, not just with gifts but with the kind of genuine adoration that makes you feel like you’re their world.
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fuiru · 3 months ago
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A 44 year old man goes to a K-Pop Concert
I promised you a report on the K-pop concert that I, a 44-year-old accountant, went to a couple of weeks ago with my wife and daughter in Toronto. So here it is.
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The band we saw were Ateez. They're my daughter's favourite band and my wife's second favourite. I know most of my mutuals are similarly aged like me and may not be familiar with them so let me give you a brief primer on Ateez.
Imagine the most attractive eight men you can think of, just unfathomably beautiful specimens of aesthetic perfection, and make them sing songs that somehow combine the subjects of 'dancing like nobody is watching' with 'we live in a dystopian hellscape that we must all work together to overthrow'. Give them an ongoing music video story lore that literally nobody - not even the band themselves - understand, so that online discussion of their visual motifs looks more like the fevered rantings of a conspiracy theorist, complete with speculation about alternate realities and time being a Moebius strip. There is also a giant sand timer, for some reason.
That's Ateez. That's what you need to know.
Now, K-pop concerts are very different to the gigs I've been going to for the last 28 (!) years. There's no support act, for a start. Also the band perform for like, three hours, with breaks for costume changes and interpretive dance. Furthermore, hanging above everything is the constant looming threat of mandatory military service.
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So this being my first such concert, I wasn't sure what to expect. What happened was difficult to explain, but I will try as I am already six paragraphs into this write-up and I'm too invested to stop now. Here goes:
In his Wicked + Divine comics series, Kieron Gillen places modern pop icons as deities, feeding upon and gaining strength from the worship of their fans at the altar of musical performance. I thought I understood that metaphor. I thought I understood it AS a metaphor. I was wrong, because that night Ateez WERE Gods with a capital G and we were their worshippers, a crowd emanating adoration (in the religious and non-religious senses), bestowing strength upon them and gaining their strength in return.
If that sounds weird, it probably is. But as pointed out above, I have lived over four decades and never yet experienced anything like the overwhelming passion of that crowd, the utter abandon with which they conveyed their love for the band.
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"But Fuiru, what of the actual music?" you ask. Thinking back, there was a moment in one of their songs - I can't remember which - where I watched the stage, and the people around me, taking it in, and I thought, "Man, I just love Music". But that doesn't answer your question, sorry.
Ateez's music is bloody great. As a tiresome indie/rock/metal kid I'm resisting the urge to add the usual tiresome indie/rock/metal caveat of "...for pop music" because honestly that does it a disservice. They have some genuinely amazing songs. Halazia is an absolute fucking masterpiece that descends into furious hardcore breakbeat. Bouncy is a big, brash racket that somehow is also a perfect pop song. Utopia, Wonderland, and Guerrilla are similarly superb. The obligatory boy band slow number is represented by Dancing Like Butterfly Wings which will make you cry because you will forever associate it with your twelve year old daughter being pointed to and waved at by her favourite Ateez member (Seonghwa) because of her Seonghwa-branded lightstick.
That might just be me, though.
So in summary: being a 44 year old dad at his first K-pop concert rules and you should endeavour to partake in the experience if the opportunity arises.
Finally, for any Atiny reading this: my bias would be San or Seonghwa but my wife and daughter said they were taken so it’s Mingi. My concert outfit (designed and created by my offspring) reflects this.
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