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jonroxton · 4 years

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can you talk about chlark beyond chloe? personally i think it's weird that the writers kept adding kisses and weird romantic moments without any pay off. i don't know much about the fandom back then but i think the writers were baiting fans since clark/chloe seems to be the second most popular ship after clex. second i personally think chloe would never be happy with clark or anyone tbh and she doesn't seem like the type of person who would have kids so the finale was weird to me.

this got looooong :)

0. it WAS weird, and the choice to never not once go for it with them was to the story's detriment. I'll get into it a little later on in this post.

Re: shipping in sv fandom. there was definitely drama (clana was HUGE when the show was airing and every ship was basically derailed by it lol) but I stayed in my clois lane with a small circle of fandom friends much like I do now. a good measure of clois fans were fans of lois and clark from other mediums, come to sv just for lois and clark, myself included. we were pretty insulated as a fandom even back then. I do remember seeing more Chlark after the S5 finale (when Chloe kisses him goodbye), but those dropped off after Jimmy was introduced right away in S6. The most drama I encountered was with Chloisers: Chloe fans who believed wholeheartedly that Chloe was Lois. They hated SV!Lois and were convinced she would die so Chloe could take her name and job and place by Clark's side, thus a Chlark endgame. this was a popular theory amongst that fandom even into s9, when the clois ball started to roll for true.

bait and switch

a lot of Chlark is rooted in this notion that chloe WOULD be the best thing for Clark, the ideal Lois, the true best friend, the human hand guiding him through Earth's troubles. she would be could be the BEST possible lois archetype for Clark. it's not a wrong interpretation. she was specifically written as a lois-and-lana-proxy (teenage lana is a reporter in some AUs and even some as an adult as a tv correspondent) and she's given many lois-ish traits (tenacious, secretly crushing on clark and in denial), but this interpretation is deeply flawed. first, because lois does eventually enter into the picture and she has her own defining traits that, when compared to chloe, make chloe seem much shallower than realized. secondly, within the complete context of the story, her position in the greater narrative is not as ~the one who got away, the way it did very early on in S1-S4, but one who clark tolerates.

they're friends because clark is forgiving and chloe has staying power. their friendship is riddled with insecurities and unknowns the characters create for themselves. their dynamic is defined by conflict, not resolutions. this is not made easy by the fact that chloe is such a strangely written character, but ultimately she is positioned as a counter to clark achieving his happiness. not a thematic narrative foil but an obstacle clark eventually relents to.

2. and it has been so from the get-go

S1 is the best season for them and the single season which actually considers Clark's side in this dynamic. everything about them later on can be explained with how they are in this season. and that's the problem. when they're 14 it's nice teen angst drama and works perfectly to establish the dynamic. when they're 24 it's at best a pattern, at worst regression. we expect certain behaviors, dismiss them too, when it's children, at least I do. clark and chloe never move beyond the dynamic they establish in s1 and early s2. in essence, clark and chloe remain children around each other. they have many discussions in the later seasons that make at least one appear petulant.

so S1 clark has just been told the greatest secret of his existence and he imprints on lana hard that same night (right AFTER jonathan tells him, he meets lana at the graveyard and talks to her for the first time EVER, a lot of childhood imprinting going on in SV). all of s1 follows clark's heartache over lana, watching her from afar and figuring out a way to be near her. this pain is exacerbated by the fact that he believes he caused her her greatest grief: the death of her parents via the meteor shower which he arrived in.

here the first beat of the chlark dynamic is established: chloe's job and passion – the wall of weird and her pursuing the meteor infected oddities of SV - directly affects clark in a negative way (he's suicidal for much of s1-s3). so her crush on him is countered with her unknowingly causing him great grief. om top of that: clark becomes part of this passion of hers and she eventually begins to pursue him as a story to be uncovered, very superman yes. here tho, it causes nothing but strife for them and paints chloe in an awful light (and clark too, highlighting his refusal to open up). I personally enjoy this aspect of them in s1. bc they're so young I give em a free pass and it's a good conflict playing around with old superman tropes, but it makes for a fraught friendship.

3. the second beat

is that neither chloe's crush on clark, nor his asking her to stop pursuing his truth, do anything to stay her. her tenaciousness becomes intrusiveness and inconsideration (many of her accomplishments irt the daily planet are directly bc she betrays clark). she simply will not listen to her friend and does not believe his livelihood and autonomy is worth losing a story over. this is literally the opposite of comics/live action lois lane, who in various versions drops the clark reveal story to protect him. this passion turns vindictive pretty early for chloe, who eventually pursues stories about clark out of jealousy and entitlement (against lana also).

4. the third beat

is that clark doesn't ever see chloe as romantic prospect except this time in s1. the tornado trapping lana pulls him away from any solidifying of the clark/chloe dynamic, and that's that. but we know clark was willing to go for it in early s2 when he apologizes to chloe about running off on her. it's chloe who decides not to go on with the relationship. clark is visibly confused, but also 15 so he can't see that chloe is putting on a brave front to protect herself from clark running off again. I liked this too as it's another play on superman tropes, but my sympathy for them stops here.

5. and stays here

these beats are the entirety of this dynamic. everything about chlark can be distilled down to their childhood. it's why I don't hate them completely, bc I have a lot of love for kids who hurt in such a way and that time is never easy. in s8 (I think its s8) when we get a flashback to when they meet as kids (more imprinting!). little tenacious cute chloe kisses insecure clark bc of the funny awkward tension, acknowledging it, and then immediately takes it back because they're better as friends. (also they’re like 11 lol)

every single romantic moment with them is undercut either by chloe herself, or by the presence of other storylines/romances the writers wanted to pursue. the lack of integrity in chloe and the lack of interest in clark, regardless of how sincere their connection or how messed up, is a central part of their dynamic that needs to be reconciled with their friendship. and its exhausting bc there is never a point they are ever truly comfortable around each other.

6. to a fault

knowing the secret doesn't change chloe's methods. it doesn't make chloe clark's great confidante. if anything, it complicates matters for both because their relationship then becomes about the greater good and clark's great destiny. everything chloe does becomes about that, which in theory sounds awesome, but is executed much the same way as s1!chlark: by reiterating behaviors that highlight the negative aspects of that loyalty and the negative aspects of their characters.

the single time they do actively examine what this loyalty means and how chloe's hero complex complicates things for chlark is with s8 and davis. she protects davis with the skills of subterfuge and secrecy she developed as clark's friend. and it costs her jimmy and a lot of her personal integrity as a character. tho ironically it makes chloe the strongest she's been as a character. this is the first time clark is forced to view chloe as an enemy and he never quite recovers from discovering the dark depths she’s willing to go to.

it's an arc dealing with the established beats: how far chloe is willing to go for a kryptonian (very far), how much she's willing to do for him (A LOT and all of it illegal), and what it costs her (jimmy). it deals with her jealousy (always second choice) and her motivations (uncovering the truth). this great want that she struggled with for years is turned on its head and examined, revealing just how weird and dark her hero complex is because obviously davis is not clark. davis/chloe served to highlight more than any other arc how it's really too bad that clark never saw her that way, because she has so much love to give and when channeled, it's a great force. only it's a great force for evil. clark has to confront that it’s not just lex but his other closest friend who is willing to go so far. they backtrack hard in s9 and s10 but they keep this underlying wariness in clark towards Chloe throughout. it’s not anything new, but it’s no longer subtext that clark doesn’t fully trust chloe.

7. And that's the rub

in the end. chloe and clark have many storylines they're in together and chloe's important.... to develop clark and as a counter to clark. clark never instigates anything, not once, for 9 years! when the show did give us Moments TM, clark is reacting, not actively making choices to connect to her. if anything, clark is incredibly awkward about chloe when they become intimate. he doesn't seem to know what to do with her crushing on him (the elevator scene is a great one to show just how awkward chloe makes him feel). more than that. clark never tells her his secret. and later on, chloe doesn't tell him half the crazy wild shit she does to protect him bc she knows he would disapprove. I still hold that the only reason they work is bc clark is a forgiving character and would give her chance after chance after chance. that's the watsonian explanation, but the doylist explanation is that the writers just never cared to explore them beyond this point.

8. and what was beyond that point?

they would've been a great counter to lexana in S6 and early clana (clark finally having a gf who knows). it’s playing the clark/Chloe as a straight lois/clark proxy before actually pursuing lois and clark. it could’ve been the precursor to davis and caused an even more personal conflict! the kiss at the end of s5 was their chance. they could've written chlark devolving much the same way lexana did in s6 (or not). but again. the writers never went that far and clearly never wanted to. it kept chlark forever in this stage of childhood friendship always on the brink of collapsing, tittering either way. it's also tough to speculate bc clark's just not into her. in fact he becomes more and more wary of her, to the point where he believes she can do horrible things, and he's right. the stories continually make their methods complete opposite.

they go out of their way to show chloe realizing how happy clark is with lois. and even play a joke on the fandom by literally turning her into lois and seeing the sparks between her friends. it's almost... cruel but it does serve to show how clark is when he's smitten and he's never looked at chloe that way except during the dance when they were kids. other unrequited dynamics have at least some spark from the desired, but nil from clark. clark is into chloe in late s1, but she shuts him down, and when he seems to be into her again (damn that s5 kiss was a good one lol), she shuts him down again. it's just a weird writing choice all around, and that they kept nuggets of it throughout the show is the thing I cringe at most whenever I rewatch.

9. bait and switch 2

with hindsight it is definitely ship baiting and that sucks for that dynamic bc without it their friendship would’ve been the stronger, or at least not full of so much negativity. all it did was remind everyone that chloe’s been duped since she was a kid and that clark is both stupid and strange for never noticing and letting her get away with shit just bc she’s the most loyal. I don’t ship them and even I get frustrated lol

#mystuff #smallville #superman #anti chlark #sayruq #my meta

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thirddoctor · 4 years

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Would you have any tips for writing Missy, or any thoughts on her characterization in general (and common misconceptions people have/make about her)?

So, my biggest issue with how she’s written in the EU is that she’s just bonkers all the time (at least in what I’ve read and listened to - maybe some of the Missy audios are better, but I haven’t been able to force myself to listen to the rest yet). There’s not much nuance to her character. She’s also written like most of what she says and does should be taken at face value, when imo the complete opposite is true. The Master is always hiding themself both literally and figuratively behind masks and disguises and performances.

Missy being “bananas” is not her full personality, it’s one side she chooses to show because it suits her purposes (either to throw people off-guard, or to hide her true emotions). It’s a deliberate performance, a way of being in control. And it drops when she doesn’t need it or when her emotions are too strong to contain. Look at how all that crazy energy is gone by the end of Death in Heaven, when she realises she’s lost. Or how she immediately becomes serious in The Magician’s Apprentice when she sees they’re on Skaro. Or just... most of S10. She has lots of quiet moments. Her last scene with Twelve - “me too... but no” - is what she’s like when she’s stopped pretending or playing games. A good portrayal of Missy needs to have actual substance underneath.

Also, and this is more of a personal preference, I don’t think there should be many Missy stories set prior to Deep Breath - or at least, any stories set in that time should make mention of her S8 plot. They shouldn’t be totally disconnected from that. Because I think she started that plan pretty much from day one after Simm regenerated. I mean, she wakes up with no real memory of what happened, but I think she was left with a lingering sense of having failed, that her life was going in the wrong direction (Simm’s last experience, after all, was the two of them killing each other because they both believed the other was wrong), and she couldn’t keep doing things the same way. She’d been at it for centuries and she still had nothing to show for it. And she was also terribly lonely. Even Simm cared about the Doctor to some degree, but he channelled that into anger. I don’t think he liked caring. And he refused to ever be what anyone else wanted him to be, choosing to die (twice) rather than be changed by the Doctor. Missy, however, is now more open to the idea of reconnecting with him, but she decides to be the one to change him, to make him more like her so they can be friends again. And she’s just woken up on a ship full of Cybermen, so why not use them in her plan?

It just seems clear to me that not too much time passes between Simm regenerating at the end of TDF and Missy’s first appearance in S8, so I really don’t like the idea of a whole lot of stories being inserted in-between there.

S8 is also a big turning point for her. That’s her at her most traditionally Master-ish. She’s got the black clothes and the big complicated evil plan and everything. And when it fails, when she can’t get the Doctor to compromise on his morals and join her, I think that really forces her to question herself more and more. She has another go of turning him in S9, trying to make him kill Clara, but it still doesn’t work. Finally, by S10, when she’s facing execution, all she can do is beg him for her life (which she doesn’t really have any right to expect from him anyway, given all she’s done) and tell him she’s his friend, because that’s ultimately what everything she’s done in the previous seasons has been about. When she offers to “be good”, I doubt she’s even that sincere, it’s just a tactic to save her life, but I think she chooses to go along with it because why not? Everything else she’s tried has failed. And perhaps, on some level, she’s impressed by the Doctor’s goodness. It’s what allowed him to stand firm when she offered him the Cyber army. His understanding of mercy is what saved Clara when she’s in the Dalek. His kindness is the reason Missy is still alive. A long time ago, the Master remarked that, “Hate is strength,” but the Doctor’s strength is love and compassion. And he’s the one who keeps winning.

It takes a long time, a lot of learning, and a lot of struggling with different concepts of morality and with her old instincts and self-interest, but Missy does finally admit the Doctor was right and try to do something good. She tries to act out of love and friendship for him instead of just saying she’s his friend. It’s a huge moment for her, because she’s never done that before. She’s always had to be right, she’s always had to be better than him, she’s always had to be the Master, and she finally gives that up.

So, having said all that, I think an important thing to keep in mind when writing her is what point in her arc you’re writing, because she will behave in different ways depending on where she is. S8 Missy and S10 Missy are not the same. And even, say, Lie of the Land Missy is not the same as Missy at the climax of The Doctor Falls, because she still hasn’t made that choice to stand with the Doctor at the probable expense of her own life. A problem I’ve seen in EU stories is that they lean in too heavily on Missy’s... good side, I guess? But as she says in TMA, she’s not turned good. I don’t think that was a direction she was even considering until S10. She’s certainly not naturally inclined towards goodness - it’s a choice she has to make (I don’t think she realises this, but imo Twelve is very similar; he’s not naturally hopeful or kind, he’s got a much darker side to him, but his epiphany in S8 is that he doesn’t have to let who he “is” define how he chooses to live). Missy in S10 is initially just trying not to be actively evil, and goes through a long internal struggle with who she wants to be that only resolves at the very end of her life, with one decision that she doesn’t even live to act upon (and that decision to be good still involved a murder, even if the victim was her past self). From the beginning to the end of her arc she’s complicated. It’s never black and white.

(Also, some people complain that Missy’s arc seems to revolve around the Doctor too much, but imo the core of it is actually about identity and figuring out who she really wants to be, much like Twelve’s arc in S8 was. The Doctor just happens to have always been an important part of the Master’s identity.)

I guess my biggest tip would be just give her depth. She shouldn’t just be slotted into some generic Master-y role, but she shouldn’t be written as nice either. And her “wackiness” should serve a purpose and shouldn’t be all she is. If you want an example of how not to write Missy’s dialogue, read any of Jacqueline Rayner’s Missy stories.

But also, do what you want to do. These are my opinions, but if you have your own interpretation of the character, then you’re free to write that. The biggest problem I have with any Master characterisation is when it’s clear the writer doesn’t particularly have any thoughts or takes on the character of their own and are just following what’s been done before. I like it when there’s passion behind the writing. Have fun with it!

#hope this helps!#thanks for the question this is exactly the sort of thing I like talking about #Replies #Anon #The Master #Missy #Ranger yells about the Master #Ranger shut up about Doctor Who #Master meta

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incarnateirony · 5 years

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i think there’s a distinction that needs to be made. i think those with power over dabb & co are the ones who are exuding more habits of queerbaiting, while dabb and co aren’t. and because those execs are more or less invisible, the blame/fault is put on dabb as he’s the perceived figurehead of everything in the show when he’s not. anything he may want to put in the show can be easily vetoed by a higher exec so

Okay so I said I wouldn’t touch related issues facing wanky-side, but while this runs the line this is such a genuine, and valid thought process it feels worth addressing.

So in short: Yes. But no. But yes. But no. But we’ll see.

What do I mean by that? I’m going to put this behind a cut. But first of all I want to thank this Nonnie for at least trying to critically think about where the problems lead to. This is FAR BETTER CRITICAL THINKING than I see in this discussion most of the time and this. More like this. Nuance, discussion, idea trade, history. Let’s do it.

Okay, so.

How can it be yes no yes no maybe eenie meenie miney mo?

Because it really depends on what part of this 15 year legacy show we’re talking about.

What I’m about to say isn’t going to be popular, but I’ve said it before, I just can’t find the ancient ass post discussing it.

We’re going to rewind. Like, a fucking lot. A lot, a lot. This is going to be a history ride, and you’re probably going to wonder how it connects to the conversation at first, but bear with me.

Ignoring any personal frustrations I have with the casting of season 4 – frankly a chapter of this FUCKING show that haunts me somewhere in the ballpark of, “If my friend wasn’t dismissed as not white enough and got the role, would we have Misha, Destiel, any of this, would the show be on, would she have been chased off as the other actresses?” – and frankly these are the things people don’t even fucking *think* about.

TLDR a bajillion years ago CW made a casting call and we got this super cute character named Anna that Dean was slated to bend over in two seconds flat, as old canon used to be before modernly growing. The actress expressed discomfort, and frankly went over with the audience about as well as wet cardboard. And like, while I agree that a lot of women were hated for misogynistic reasons in this show, she really was about as interesting as a plank of plywood to me once she got past her first performance or two.

At the same time, this handsome bastard named Misha Collins auditioned for a bit role originally intended for 3 episodes and quickly extended to 6. But, identified as lightning in a bottle and with on-fire chemistry, while Anna waffled for *several* reasons, summarily, their story ends swapped. That’s… not like *exactly* what happened but it’s *basically* what happened. Anna became the herald and contagonist instead of Cas, and Cas quite frankly took on the role of the goddess.

With Lisa already entered before Anna, there’s no evidence whatsoever she was intended as endgame. Story flip. Thank you for everything last night on earth fall by angel banishing almost like this was foreshadowed woohoo! But… don’t lend towards a relationship. No point. Given, they made a few jokes on set at that point, but it wasn’t really an idea *they thought anyone took seriously*.

Coming from a phase where most of the leads were introduced to “slash fandom” by Wincest, which they literally used to torture and prank each other, the idea of this being anything serious really wasn’t on their radar. The one I remember most was Misha choosing to sit on Dean’s side of the bed as Cas in the famous “What were you dreaming about?” and Sgriccia being like “that’s kinda gay” “nah keep it”

I mean, is that… queerbait at that point? I don’t think it’s fair to really call it that. They respectfully tried to scrub out the leading romantic edges from what would have been Anna’s story, but ultimately, the human psyche kind of recognizes 8000 years of storytelling history subconsciously when using the Hero’s Journey narrative, so it was resonant. Nobody was crazy for seeing it. That didn’t mean it was right, that didn’t mean it’s what they were consciously leading anyone for.

Hell, Jensen didn’t even know what the fuck Destiel WAS until season 7 (”Deathstiel?”) due to the way cons, circuits, and fansites kept the conversation force-muted at that point. Anything they had floated somewhere in the area of “hah that is kinda gay I guess”, and even that there’s no evidence of being frequent.

Kripke left, the show petered, social media was new, and summarily, Sera Gamble was a dumbass and listened to the wrong crowd that seemed super big back when big accounts were a whole 10K followers and you had 50 asshats screaming as a coordinated group about Ruining The Show™. Ratings tanked, somewhere between Misha being fired and the show turning into a parody of itself with dick jokes that made it seem like Gamble was trying to target 11 year old boys for her audience, and like, that’s it, that was the season.

Until that nosedive spiral essentially turned into a shorthand apology reversal, a panicked and roughly written script that was *SO GAY* that *EVEN MISHA FUCKING COLLINS* couldn’t seriously choke out the dialogue. It was cheap, it was out of character, and as Jensen put it, the dialogue might as well have had him petting and sobbing into Castiel’s coat while essentially being like I SLEEP WITH YOUR COAT EVERY NIGHT TO REMEMBER YOUR SCENT UWU and shit that just LITERALLY vaulted from alien fascinated staring into desperate teenage gay drama in the body of a 30 year old man.

So yeah. Did I consider it reasonable to change that? Fuck yes I did.

Was what Sera Gamble did queerbait? Yes, actually. And she did it again in the Magicians. You see, Gamble had fucked over an audience, and then tried to exploit that audience in reverse when she realized she fucked over the *wrong* audience, but had zero intent of fulfillment.

And then magically, Sera Gamble didn’t fucking work there anymore after a whole like, year and a half as showrunner.

Now, at the same time, Dawn Ostroff was leaving the CW. Jensen’s had some pretty fierce words about Dawn Ostroff not understanding the show and how to manage it, but whatever. Bye, Dawn. Hello… MARK FUCKING PEDOWITZ. But at the same time, WELCOME BACK CARVER and most of all HOWDY DO NETFLIX, so nice to make a guaranteed deal with you (that ended as of this year due to a CBS merchandising meltdown).

When Carver came back, he said a lot of things. He… very tactfully called Gamble’s era trash by phasing it like “:) Watching the show :) since I left :) I realized :) a lot of our mythology :) has been difficult to follow :) so I went :) back to basics :) please help”, and others, like mentioning he had a three year plan on his desk. So 3. Season 8, 9, 10. He had notes for his S10 finale in mind and everything! Great stuff.

Now the fandom, at this point, generally didn’t pay attention to the network or production. In fact, the actor worship around here is some other kind of wild and I don’t know how after 15 years people haven’t figured out that it isn’t how to go about paying attention. Either way – plot switches, showrunner switches, author switches, and NETWORK LEADERSHIP SWITCHES.

Now, this little part here is speculation – but I am 99% sure that when Carver was pulling SPN out of the cancellation toilet, he had bigger things to inform the new execs about than “btw I might make it gay.” Like “Hey, since CW just got its netflix deal, if you give us another year we can import fresh demographic while bringing back Collins’ old fanbase by setting him back as a regular.” SURE, SOUND GREAT, MAKE MONEY, THX.

Cool. Cool. Make sense so far, you still with me?

Because at this point, S8 into early S9, fandom had gotten itself into all kinds of a stir. It was about to go canon, rite nao, said a bunch of bloggers, who at that point WERE pretty much chasing wallpapers and Tshirts and making the most bizarre uncorroborated parallel interpretations like “IF U PARALLEL IT TO MOBY DICK-” WHAT WHY WHERE– ??? BUT cAS = fISH

Okay, my fucking annoyance at what counted as lit crit in those days aside, we’ll get back on track. Everybody started vibrating for this shit because, you know what, S8 did resonate pretty strong, almost like authors were toying with ideas. I’m not gonna get into stuff about Robbie, I THINK fandom knows the statements he’s made and I don’t just mean the whole Destiel being canon tweet both antis and bitters descended on him to eviscerate him about. About what? Calling it queerbait!

So here we go, the great advent. About a year after a dramatic network shift, a CW exec was like :))))))))) I’D LIKE TO LEARN ABOUT THIS FANDOM THAT IS SUDDENLY MAKING ME MONEY!! WHAT SHOULD I DO??? TO TWITTER! HASHTAG TALK TO THEM!

[logs in]

Beep boop. “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” the FUCK is a Destiel? Wait what no I don’t know what you’re talking about representation isn’t our intention with these characters. “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT”

And then the network exec got so slammed he deleted twitter entirely and everybody popped confetti and felt accomplished and did NOT realize how fucking BAD that was. And frankly, anyone that did kinda didn’t want to admit it, because taking responsibility for that tire fire was… not… attractive. In fact, several folks are still around to this day, bitter blogging or making weirdass meta or accusing other people of wallpapers and Tshirts because that’s what they did so *YAY, PROJECTION!*

My own frustrated bitterness aside, I’m going to place some questions down, and not so much answer them as, now that the reader has really taken history in, let them decide:

At this point… is this queerbait?

Because this is when the queerbait yelling began. It’s when every fan with even a moderate platform or site blasted it out there.

It’s when the fandom made DeanCas a big problem.

And it’s also literally the same time Carver left his very first recorded, known direction with a romantic tilt, “The note I got from Jeremy Carver was to play it like a jilted lover, so that’s what we played there,” on LGBT author Bobo berens’ very first episode. Everyone runs circles around that modernly, or goes “SEE??? QUEERBAIT!” without realizing what the FUCK just happened here.

So, SPN went from cancel rating line to their most successful show between 7 and 9. Suddenly corporate sees their successful product *ON FUCKING FIRE* so do you know what happens?

Fuck it this IS one line I’ll break: Corporate panicked. They changed their press packets. If you noticed a bunch of media-adjacent people and their friends suddenly get bitter as FUCK in season 10 after still surviving the S9 mess, here’s fucking why. Because now that everybody spent the last YEAR trying to burn down the product yelling about shit that corporate had been literally blindsided by, they added temporarily a new section to the packet that included sexuality. They were, at that moment, suddenly listed collectively as heterosexual men. SEE, WE AREN’T QUEERBAITING IF WE TELL YOU THEY’RE STRAIGHT *will smith pose*

Congrats fandom, you have now officially made Destiel A Huge Problem™ to the corporate behemoth behind the shiny pictures. The iron curtain dropped. This is what you could call “Protect the Product Mode” if you will.

Now again, at this point: Is it queerbait?

Because at this point, S9-10 was rolling out. We all know it, Cain, Collette, *gestures off into infinity* But let’s fall back to Carver’s statement. 3 years. 8, 9, 10. You know what else happened season 10?

A bunch of shit, including shit Carver *wrote himself for the season 10 finale* got filmed, then cut. Coincidentally, it was all very gay shit. Things that pulled forward the Crowley/Abaddon Cas/Colette Sam/Abel parallels, arguing over who was who’s boyfriend, Rowena mentioning about them both being shattered at the Altar of Winchester (15.3 is calling), the secret admirer dream, I could go on. I mean, this shit literally would have shifted the entire storytelling arc to full-frontal taking that parallel and addressing it right up in your face. First you’ll kill your mistress but you’ll get it done, and then you’ll kill your wife. He’s your boyfriend no he’s YOUR boyfriend. You’ve BOTH been shattered at the Altar of Winchester. Really, this is what you dream about? Your secret admirer Cas?

K? K. K?

Is it queerbait for Carver to have entered with a plan? Is it queerbait for Carver to have been interrupted on that plan despite attempting to pursue it? And is it queerbait for the network to still lock down on that plan so close after the event?

You see why this conversation gets increasingly complex.

S11 rolled around, Carver was half in half out, Dabb was stepping in, big gay heart songs, take what you will out of that entire mess, and by S12 Dabb entirely took over and we started entering the era we are in today.

So let’s address where we’re at today.

Now :) I can’t say anything for sure :) because anybody that’s been to or worked on marketing stuff definitely has an NDA :) but let’s play for a minute. Let’s say with the stone wall up, a set of creators still wanted to actually *go somewhere* with this story.

“But!” remembered the network, “Remember the tire fire?! And all the people that hated the gay?! What about our profit?!”

“No,” a creator might say, “Tides have changed.”

“We’ll see,” a network might say, “Take it to market testing.” At which point, one would enter a few years of polling how the general audience reacts to this.

Now, if they were seeing promising numbers, they might be given a bit of rope. Why, let’s … just pretend. Totally. Totally pretending. That Dabb pitched this idea to take up Carver’s mantle. Let’s say that started S12ish when he took over. Let’s say they ran through hiatus. And then… authors might be given a little bit of a line. “Looks good, but we’re not sure,” said a network quite fond of its split conservative/liberal demographic, “Try it out a bit and see how it goes.”

And so an author room that would be full of LGBT creators fed out good faith groundwork. They might even be like YALL ITS NEVER TOO LAAAAAATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN and just throw their whole boy howdy cowboy into that shit and get great ratings.

What if even if the results came back positive leaning, the network ho’ed and hummed and stayed noncommital? Might the creators scale it back while still writing it lowkey just in case they got flashed a greenlight? I know I sure would, woudn’t you?! Or I guess would you prefer we drop the whole thing cold and stop writing anything vaguely in the direction?

Difficult question, in reality, isn’t it?

So in this TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION, this leaves the authors holding the bag, waiting for a sign, and being held with limitations. And just in case anybody thinks “BUT AUTHORS CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT!! AND!! OTHER SHOWS!!!”

K have we come down to reality yet? So, sure kids, try the gay, we’re interested, but you can’t like, go Full Gay Frontal with it. You gotta imply the gay. Wouldn’t want to offend conservative america! Besides! We’re totally exploiting marketing making this LGBT content for you over here! *jingles a carrot on a stick* LOOK AT HOW MUCH WE’RE FLEECING ADVERTISING PROMOTING ALL THIS GAY STUFF FOR YOU AREN’T THE RAINBOWS GREAT?

Some creator of limited LGBT content: How’s the marketing looking?

Some network: EH! We’ll see!

Some creator of limited LGBT content: K guys we’ll scale it back to not upset them but don’t drop it.maybe we can have them hold hands at the end or if we’re lucky maybe they’ll say we can do the whole thing

Some LGBT creators: K

Making sense still? STILL WITH ME?

So at this point… is this queerbait, or is this business?

Put aside the emotional reaction. Realize this really only hit scale in S9, hit front line S10, and hit potential corporate discussion in this TOTALLY theoretic universe around S11-12. We’re talking 3-4 years. Not 10. And we’re talking only a few of it really being tested.

So again I ask, history minded: Is this queerbait, or is this business?

That’s where the nuance and complication comes in, and let it be said I am in no way defending the CW. I fucking hate the network. They have literally personally screwed over real friends of mine and I hope they choke on a whole bag of dicks with their bullshit, but honestly, the shit I have seen and heard would make people stick their heads in the sand like scared and ashamed ostriches for every time they trumpet “BUT OTHER SHOWS” – you don’t know what’s going on in those shows. You don’t know how they’re getting hardballed on budget decisions, you don’t know what that show’s marketed demographic is about, you don’t know what they demand cast how, you literally don’t have a fucking idea unless you’re up in that disaster zone.

And even IF you’re in that disaster zone, unless you’re truly in the upper echelon, you only know so much.

Now let’s pretend, again, totally metaphorically, and absolutely not inspired by a real person at all, that someone worked with the crew for a while and, because they saw support inside creeping upward siiiiince mmmm gosh we’ll say season 12 since that’s our advent and totally not when anybody specific started working there and telling fandom ladder fans what they thought they saw going on, only to get sad and bitter and angry and eventually leave, and all those friends, still abiding old bitterness from S9~, now get angrier because of somebody else’s burnout on their ITK level and perspective, even if that was *probably* aggravated by other work stress conditions as well, but hey! WHO KNOWS!?!?! :)))) What a weird hypothetical though and I’m getting weirdly super specific on it aren’t I so LET’S MOVE ON.

We’re in S12-13 discussion category now.

So my question is, from this perspective… when do you call queerbait? When not swept up in misguided hysteria… at what point do you say “Yeah, you know what, yup, that’s all queerbait”?

So we’re gonna take a bit of a break here for a second and really process all of that hypothetical world, where a creator pitched going for it, and got it put into market testing, and was given enough rope to hang themselves on if the network changed its mind.

After only a few years of conscious thought on it… do you even think the network is truly consciously misguiding specifically those fans, or do they see it as giving the fans something they want while testing the idea of possibly truly giving it to them?

Because here’s what fandom misses – the corporate perspective. And again, I’m utterly not fucking justifying the CW as a whole, but people look at this from the angle of fans, and then argue what they think is representative dialogue from the angle of fans, often while missing all of this history. All that history up till S9? That’s all very real. But looking at history in perspective… who are you going to blame for that? Is it fair to hold S4-9 to that five year stretch of queerbait when that was… pretty much fandom manufactured from blissful ignorance to begin with? I mean if you want to go yell at Sera Gamble Specifically okay (please don’t) but beyond that like– that shit? Is that anybody’s fault? Do you blame a company for actually shutting DOWN the talk of it on a press angle? Can we call that and S10 queerbait then? Was Carver’s attempt at writing through it queerbait? Was trying to continue the story in S11 after theoretic shutdown queerbait? These are all genuine questions that are not asked enough. Most people don’t even realize they need to be asked.

So back to Totally Theoretic Land, where S12ish market testing would have been going on to see if people really thought it was Gay N Shit. Like a lot of people in an overwhelming majority after the amount of apprehension the straight old dude running the network has ever since the goddamn tornado of horse shit that happened like a year after he took over. Probably not the fondest fucking memory for him either. Probably also why he dismissively called most of that demographic “casual fans”, because in Smug White Guy Brain, “tru” fans would have all known, I guess, exactly the shit I’m telling you in history backtrack so, look at the silly girls wanting the gay shit :) Ahhhh girlllllls

Okay so, my impression of douchebags aside, let’s give it 12-13 hiatus to give the first test rope lead and 13-14 hiatus for the next, only to have at best noncommital and uncertain numbers and authors, theoretically, cautiously pulling back while writing it as generally established and implicit, as if it might, I don’t know, go from BIG GAY DRAMA to DEADASS DOMESTIC all of a sudden despite ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN cuz get it, they started over, after he came in his room and played him. *elbows* You all get it right?

K. So maybe numbers changed. Maybe they don’t. Maybe I’m not comfortable talking in this hypothetical, maybe I don’t have access to this hypothetical AU’s current marketing data as of this year, I just don’t know! We don’t know where those cards fell.

But if, at this point, after 2-3 years of market testing, and leading authors on, and giving them enough rope to hang themselves with to get themselves accused of queerbait just for trying to lay good faith groundwork for a cohesive narrative, because fans don’t care that 2 open closet LGBT authors are on deck or that there’s totally theoretically probably and in no way fingering anyone at least one closeted author on deck, or at least publicly so, their coworkers would probably know. But I mean. That’s just. :) statistics. Right?

K whatever moving on. If at this point they’ve been boggley bounced around… you know, I gotta say. At this point… I might actually call queerbait if the network stonewalls it. At this point, they’ve had a few years to really get their shit together, and if they’ve just used it to play yo yo with LGBT creators trying to make content then yeah, go suck a whole bag of dicks.

The problem being with the lack of nuance in this conversation, you’re right, Dabb and co would catch it rather than the guilty party, which is why I HATE faux activism culture. If you’re going to be an activist pay the fuck attention to what you’re being an activist in, don’t bite the hand that’s feeding you just because it was a PBJ and not filet mignon, go after the bastard 1%’er that’s eating all the goddamn filet mignon. But nobody will. It never works like that. And then everybody wonders why this continues – be it in this show, or on other networks.

But hey. Maybe this theoretic network got enough material to change their mind. Maybe another executive got promoted that might help one of the other creators argue it to corporate with their new shiny title. Maybe they can convince someone. Convince them of what and to what level, who knows. Maybe just continue telling the established story, give them a divorce, mention marriage, divorce, dead wives, breakups every 0.2 seconds while they go through a classically framed dark point in the romance everybody with brains and eyes understands because, again, historic storytelling we literally all recognize, but pretend we don’t when stomping about personal representation lines? Or hey! Maybe it’ll go further. (Don’t hold your breath.) Throw in some other shit that even a straight guy would look at and be like “two dicks one chick that shit’s gay bro” because WE LITERALLY ALL FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT MEANS EVEN IF IT’S IMPLIED BECAUSE THE NETWORK IS A BUNCH OF PUSSIES.

…*stops, breathes*

If you can’t tell this is a very long term topic of frustration to me, because nobody, absolutely nobody, wants to introspect and think, you know, maybe it wasn’t queerbait back then, maybe we SHOULDN’T have set a corporate exec on fire about it, that might have been fucking bad.

There are other ways to be an activist than to scream queerbait into the void at whoever is unfortunate enough to cross your paths. One of the best examples I can remember is Exorcising Emily collecting demographics on fandom, and testimonials from LGBT fans about resonating with the content – no fanfic, no fanart, no attacks – and sent copies of this to several powerful creative names.

Now… if with this history… if, from season 9 to 12… one of those names became a creator. If, by some FLUKE of imagination… he still had that book around… and even gave it to his freshly joined new employees like 2 weeks after they started working there–

oh wait and i oop

The mentions would be much as you expect, antis screaming and demanding her job (QUICK, somebody tell Andrew Dabb that she’s READING ANDREW DABB’S OWN BOOKS THAT HE CHOSE TO KEEP AROUND FOR THREE YEARS).

Has Dabb’s era seemed… more plugged in? More resonant? Better and stronger in its storytelling? More hooked into fandom?

See, that’s what well thought activism can do. Well thought activism can structure an entire movement. Poorly thought rioting thinking itself as activism can cause the literal opposite effect of what it wanted. That is how these things contrast each other. And that is something fandom needs to DEEPLY consider.

…but is it queerbait for him to try to continue the story? Even if, say, we drop the marketing talk, because TOTALLY nobody can ACTUALLY know because AGAIN anyone that DOES would have an NDA so we DEFINITELY can’t say anybody knows anything for sure, because anyone that said jack shit would probably get sued so hard their descendents down in whatever homo superior evolution 1000 years into the future would feel it, so you know. We’ll put aside this totes theoretical shit and ask

…If he just was told no– would you prefer to just drop the storyline entirely at this point?

Again. Genuine question. And difficult. And something poorly thought queerbait screaming can actually cause, too.

So here we are in the land of the final season. Whether you consider it network queerbait or not – again, they can choke on the whole bag of dicks at a network level for all I care for ANY number of reasons, even well beyond the domain of Supernatural, and may all their bacon burn from here into the next life – it’s a lot more complicated than fandom has ever let it on to be, because letting it on to be what it really is, in full perspective, also demands a lot of introspection and acceptance, and we all know nobody in this fandom can ever make a mistake ever and they’re all fucking perfect darlings.

It’s a complicated answer to a simple idea… and unfortunately I don’t think this fandom will ever really sit here. They’ll yell “VICTIM BLAMING” because it’s buzzy, they’ll yell “HIDING YOUR GAYS” which I mean, yeah, but let’s talk about what led us here. They’ll yell a lot of things. But they will rarely quietly think, and study, and hone down to what’s going on in the world out there beyond what they have, at this point, become obsessively hotlocked on.

Supernatural, as of 15.7, has already taken several steps further than it ever is before. No, that’s not a signal of me saying [Your Personal Goalpost] is going to happen. But it’s a sign that if they have a line, they’re testing it with every strength they have.

Going back onto the Fateful Advent: Cain. The mentor– who was never going to stop; I can’t stop samuel; he was never going to stop; I will never stop; Rowena, the mentor, never going to stop, shattered, at the altar of Winchester. Long ago, when Cas was human, Dean sealed him away, and now, he’s doing the same to him. So Shirt Of Bad Decisions Deanmon basically karaokes with his friend like the Crowley days, REPEATING the Crowley dialogue but infinitely harder to dodge, as if some sort of calculated method of cat’s cradle of How To Write The Gay was discussed. Man, whoever wrote that kind of shit would probably even publicly thank whatever big gay mastermind helped them map out THAT level of stuff. Wouldn’t it be funny if most of that shit had been written by a gay dude that’s still around and it’s still popping back up in the show louder and harder to dodge than before? That’d be fuckin’ wild, man. Oh, fucking WAIT.

And this is why I hate the way shipping culture thinks it’s doing activism. Most of the time it’s cosplaying as an activist and at this point it’s become more of a furry convention than it has any kind of organized rights movement. Nobody’s out here fighting for the rights of these LGBT authors this year, nobody’s helping them get a voice, and in fact, often scream at them or bury what voice they’ve had as not enough.

And I want to fix it.

Desperately.

And frankly, I don’t know how anymore.

But what we’re not talking about is some 3-5 year show that came in early and started intentionally fucking at you. We’re looking at happy coincidences, so let’s check with our gay king, the father of Wayward that everybody coincidentally accepted as canon with far less because of a (meaningful) third party line DeanCas had elsewhere but hey it didn’t have antis so suddenly it counts; let’s check with him about that.

That’s my king. That’s my king that wrote the first recorded episode to be intentionally directed as jilted lovers. My king that gav eus Colette. My king that gave us the mixtape. My king that gave us the PR framed breakup. My king that gave us Cas leaving Dean. That’s my King. That’s my gay king who has been fighting his ass off, only to be hung out to dry by a fandom that doesn’t even care to look where or how to scream, or maybe consider that perhaps screaming isn’t the option.

Is he yours yet? Have I broken through to a single soul on this?

That’s my king who wrote about the necessary evils in 2003, before the youngest in this fandom were born and while many were still in diapers or kindergarten; about the unfortunate necessary evils that he loathes and acknowledges about moderate queer content gaining exponential amounts of platform compared to whatever is considered hardline aggressive at the time, about how that incrementalization is what helped our media landscape evolve to this day.

And he isn’t wrong.

And he’s getting roasted for doing just that.

And I really wish I could just psychically make everyone fucking stop.

But I will say one thing.

“It’s network queerbait!” I mean

Yeah

That

Because… realistically? like 99% of modern queer content is queerbait, even stuff with canon queer content.

ESPECIALLY on the CW.

If you’ve noticed CW panicking the last year and trying to slap rainbows and DARE TO DEFY on everything, it’s because their entire fucking ecosystem just got fucked over by CBS wanting 100% merchandising profit like it already took 100% digital profit and Netflix was basically like “miss us with your bullshit” and broke the CW contract which was *HOW PEDOWITZ BANKROLLED MOST OF HIS NETWORK*. Now? Now CW has to carve a niche. So LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING PRIDE COLORS ON– OUR– STRAIGHT–CHARACTERS??? BUT WE HAVE GAY ONES LIKE LEGENDS OF TOMORROW AND *flips notes* THAT SIDE CHARACTER LESBIAN ON SPN.

*gets a whisper* What they killed her? Shit. Maybe bring her back. AND THERE’S THIS PERSON OVER ON JANE THE VIRGIN oh that just got cancelled uhhh VAMPIRE DI-wait fuck. Well we’ll just make one of the chicks in this shitty charmed reboot CBS just forced down our throat and killed Wayward over, that’ll fix it *jazz hands*

TV is a business. Businesses make money. The entire LGBT battle is basically us industriously proving we can make money. It’s about rights and visibility on our end, but on their end it is *always* about money and I really don’t think anybody really groks what that really means.

So “it’s the network! Queerbait!”

…yeahhhhh.

…welcome to working in television. Now you just have to sit and think about how many other times this has completely missed your radar.

The network will never get a shit about you, they give a shit about your money, and that’s just the reality of capitalist america whether we like it or not. When it’s 2143 and bernie sanders’ floating head in a jar is president and andrew yang’s base income shit is in effect and we’re all a socialist country and the world has figured out how to run high cost businesses like TV on the power of unicorn farts, they might actually give a shit. But they don’t. There may be a few advocates WITHIN the company that do, but as a whole body, the network will never give a shit. They don’t care if you’re black, white, straight, gay, disabled, male, female, beyond what, explicitly, that totals to in dollar signs depending how they feed you, when and where.

So it’s not like... *just* a queer rights issue, it’s an “Anything Trump’s America may consider offensive on their television” issue. It’s businesses weighing who they think pays their bills while making it and beyond that who they think is the safest investment to make the most money.

As a side note: Personally, I’d consider it dumb as fuck to not do it. SPN will taper within a few years down to just trekkie-esque addicts unless they find a way to get a new burst of viewership and boy howdie do I hope so, but how much Pedowitz overvalues the conservative US demographic, or certain international markets, I don’t know. I’m not in his head and I don’t have this year’s marketing numbers beyond basic live, +3 and +7 ratings, and digital calls. And just general nielsen released demo. But how he’s added that all up? Can’t say. And I sure ain’t gonna bank on him not being a dumbass, when he’s famous for it, so don’t go get your hopes up either.

#supernatural #representation #queerbait #intersectionality #business #corporate #marketing

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austennerdita2533 · 4 years

Note

ooh can you do those same top three questions but for suits and tvd :)

Sure can, nonnie! xx

*Just as a general disclaimer for anyone else who happens to read this: my ship preferences are what they are. I’m simply stating my opinion/preference and am in no way encouraging hate or fights. Discussion is always welcome, of course, but happy vibes here only!

*2020 sucks enough as it is without bringing ship drama into it, you know?

TVD

Top 3 seasons:

-1, 2, and 3 without an ounce of hesitation. This was when the show was at its peak in storytelling, characterization, ship development, magic/mythology etc.

Top 3 romantic ships:

-Klaroline. One of my highest echelon ships for reasons I do not need to enumerate; however, I will say what I love about them most is they challenge as well as complement each other in beautifully rich, convoluted ways. Their back and forth is ridiculously entertaining, too!

-Kalijah. They have spice, and angst, and forbidden love, and 500+ years of cat-and-mouse chasing and I will be over here bitter about them for eternity!

-Forwood. *excuse me while I cry over “until we find a way” for a few hours* These two went through so much to be together! Their progressive arc in s2-s3 is still one of my favorites.

*I’m Swiss neutral when it comes to Stelena and Delena, I vacillate between both ships at different times so they’re not included in my top 3. I’m an anomalous TVD shipper, a true outlier, what can I say?

Top 3 platonic ships:

-Klelijah. Klaus and Elijah have an incredibly dense, fraught brotherly dynamic. Something about their ancient ties and 1,000-year bond is gripping. There’s so much spoken and unspoken subtext between them. So many unresolved “somethings.” Plus, it’s no secret that I adore the Originals and all they add to the TVD-verse.

-Klebekah. Klaus and Rebekah sparkle, they sizzle, any time they’re on-screen together. Just the sheer depth of feeling and betrayal and angst they emanate is so entertaining to watch. Don’t get me started on the whole “I loved you more than anyone and you didn’t even care” scene because I get emotional.

-Defan. Stefan and Damon are another complex sibling relationship on the show. Throw into the mix that they find themselves in love with same woman, not once, but twice, and whew! I love the flashbacks we get of them throughout history as well.

*Gotta give shoutouts to my other favorite, though moderately less well-developed, brotps here: Carenzo, Katholine, Rebekoline, and Baroline. *chef’s kiss*

Top 3 characters:

-Caroline Forbes

-Klaus Mikaelson

-Katherine Pierce

Top 3 plotlines you’d change/erase if you could:

-THE BABY PLOTS ! ! ! BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!!! (I’m talking Klaus/Haley and their tribrid baby and Caroline’s surrogacy/pregnancy with the Gemini twins.) I apologize for my overemphasized caps + exclamation points here, but I loathe these storylines with every fiber of my being. I can’t help it. More often than not, I like to pretend they don’t exist lololol.

-How they handled the beginning of Stefan and Caroline’s romantic relationship was...icky. Like, while Liz was dying? Really? Then she turns off her humanity because he “rejects” her. Again, REALLY? I have major issues with the overall portrayal of them as a couple - particularly with the relationship imbalances as well as the insecurities they heightened instead of tamped out in each other - but the inception of it all is what kills me. Especially because I am a huge proponent of friends-to-lovers ships...and the writers really dropped the ball with them, imo. I’m a multishipper at heart so the disappointment I harbor is PALATABLE.

-The Cure storyline and the Travelers storyline. Didn’t like either of them. They have equal “could’ve been loads better” billing.

Top 3 episodes you’d take to a deserted island:

-3x14, Dangerous Liaisons. LISTEN. This is my favorite episode of the entire series. There’s a ball, there’s blood-tinged champagne, there’s duplicity and romance and drama. All the Mikaelsons are under the same roof, for crying out loud! It’s gold!

-2x07, Masquerade. This one because of my girl, Katherine Pierce, the biggest, baddest bitch of all. She’s a saucy little minx the entire masquerade only to end up locked in the tomb. I just...love it.

-The Klaroliner in me is screaming 4x23, Graduation because being on a deserted island without having access to Klaus’s iconic “however long it takes” declaration would be insupportable. However, a case could be made for either 3x20, Do Not Go Gentle because I am trash for the decade dances, and that one’s my favorite, OR 3x22, The Departed because that is one hell of a season finale!

Suits

Top 3 seasons:

-Season 2. Mike’s secret out of the bag? Them all working together to fight against the merger? Donna shredding evidence to protect Harvey? Daniel fucking Hardman? *thumbs up*

-Season 5. FIREWORKS. Donna’s working for Louis, Harvey’s in therapy, Mike gets arrested/goes on trial, Zane family drama. Exquisite stuff

-Season 3 or Season 1. Don’t make me choose between them, please. 🙏🏻

Top 3 romantic ships:

-Darvey. I mean, OBVIOUSLY. These two idiots had me from the pilot. I knew the moment Donna said “I also took care of that. we’ve been married for the last 7 years” that I was on the precipice of falling into another long, beautiful, up-to-their-chins-in-pining, slow sloooooow burn ships. Granted, I didn’t think it’d take 8 seasons for them to get together lololol but I don’t regret a damn thing!

-Mike and Rachel. They’re adorable together, they truly love each other. Also, can we talk about how they’re a steady couple for most-ish of the show? They have drama, sure, but they work through most of it together. As a unit. THAT’S A BIG DEAL. It’s like going through the canon drive thru and actually getting (most) of what you ordered.

-Louis and Sheila. This is a couple who makes me laugh uproariously AND feel all the emotions. I mean, will I ever forget Louis dropping to one knee in the hospital with his ass cheeks hanging out? NO. Will I ever get over Shelia’s pregnant feet being too fat to fit into her Cinderella glass slippers? NOT ON YOUR LIFE. Will I blubber like an emo sap whenever they finally reconcile/get their happy ending? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

Top 3 platonic ships:

-Mike and Harvey. They have a connection from the beginning but I love seeing how much they rub off on one another, how much deeper their bond grows over the course of the show. Their movie references are always a delight, too. *cries: it’s so beautiful*

-Donna and Louis. Their relationship is so important to me. Like?!?!?!? They have so many fantastic one-on-one moments together - some that make your sides ache with laughter, others that prick your eyes with emotion and tears. Even though it kills me when Donna leaves Harvey to work for Louis, I can’t help but love it too because he fanboys all over her. GIVE DONNA ALL THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION SHE DESERVES.

-Harvey and Louis because they have a formative and/or impactful dynamic. They mostly respect each other but there’s a lot of animosity between them. Makes for such good TV!

Top 3 characters:

-Donna Paulsen aka Fashion Goddess of NYC (can I have all of her outfits? for real) and the Reigning Queen of Sass (who also happens to be the reigning queen of my heart as well). The entire firm would have fallen into collapse without her, FULL STOP.

-Harvey Specter. I have a penchant for stoic, inscrutable, emotionally constipated, on-the-borderline-of-asshole characters and boy did I hit the jackpot with this one!

-This one was hard, but I’m going to go with Louis Litt because his character evolution is amazing! He’s so unlikable at times, what with his competitive streak and anger/jealousy issues, but then there’s this whole other side to him that’s sensitive and vulnerable and sweet. You can’t help but root for him, you know? (Even when you want to punch him right in the nose lol.)

Top 3 plotlines you’d change/erase if you could:

-Harvey giving Paula the credit for why he reconciled with his mother, when it was actually because of Donna. They retcon/fix this in the narrative in s9 but it still bugs me in the moment. I can’t let it go. So sue me.

-Pearson Hardman’s “Harvard Only” hiring law. Not only is it ridiculous and discriminatory but no way in hell would you even be able to implement such a thing in today’s world. Nor should you be able to do so. Diversity is important!

-I wasn’t crazy about the Mike prison storyline but, at the same time, he had to serve out penance for the whole fraud business??? So yeah.

Top 3 episodes you’d take to a deserted island:

-2x07, Sucker Punch. THE MOCK TRIAL, AHHHHHHH. Louis grills Donna about Harvey within an inch of her life. I can hear his inflection during his stream of “do you love Harvey Specter, do you love Harvey Specter” in my head. It is so effing tense in that conference room, I DIE.

3x06, The Other Time. I am all about this flashback episode, okay? It opens Pandora’s box on all things past!Darvey and also shows us how Mike gets thrown out of school.

-8x16, Harvey. If you think I’d willingly retreat to a deserted island without having access to that Darvey love epiphany/love actualization scene then you are kidding yourself! I still blast “Love is Mystical” on full volume just to daydream about that swooping-through-the-apartment-door smooch sometimes. *fans self*

#anonymous #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks tvd and suits #i officially want to rewatch suits now anon #so thank you for that #long post #i didn't mean to blab this much #whoops

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audi-nos-bitch · 4 years

Text

Rules: answer the questions and tag others to keep it going, it can be as many people as you want! and if you would like to add more questions when tagging people, feel free!

Tagged by @spneveryseason, thank you for making me feel popular :)

Sibling status - Youngest of 3

How long have you been stanning for - I was a Dean girl when I watched five years ago but on my rewatch (started May 2020), I was a Sam stan right away, which became obvious during my Sam apologism in s4.

Favorite Sam era - Like, all of them, but narratively and in theme the s2 Sam era was so strong.

Favorite spn season, but if the only criteria was Sam’s hair - Controversial opinion, but s8. It was a goddamn mane and it was beautiful.

Favorite Sam-centric episode - Hmm probably Swan Song because of the magnitude of his sacrifice, and the redemption from his s4 demon blood arc.

Any ships you may like to mention - Sam/Cas is my #1 but I love one other unnamed Sam ship a lot and lowkey ship almost every other Sam ship but I will not go into it because ships are a touchy topic

Favorite song you would/have put in a Sam playlist - Maybe Boston’s “Don’t Look Back” or Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper”?

If you could steal one thing from Sam’s wardrobe, it would be - Carhartt hoodie <3

Complete the sentence: If Sam cishet, then WHY.... - “How about Sastiel? Samstiel?”

Favorite unhinged Sam moment - Listen, I should probably find a new one but for some reason this one always sticks with me: “You're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near.” (I guess it just highlights his transformation from hesitant hunter to a goddamn ultra-powerful hunting machine, which I like, and the arrogance is kind of hot for some reason.)

You must have some intense headcanons you need to talk about, tell me one Sam hc that drives you insane - Sam kept The Voicemail and listens to it every once in a while, especially throughout the trials in s8

Tell me something about the hbo Sam that lives in your brain - I read this one about how demon blood/angels don’t mix so Cas can’t heal Sam and they can’t touch without it being painful and being around Cas makes Sam feel sick or something like that but despite all that they would die for each other and anyway I think about that sometimes

Oh no, the writers forgot to give Jess a personality! Now it’s up to you. Tell me, what was Jess like - They really did forget, didn’t they? I think she probably balanced out Sam so she was more light-hearted and less serious; she was more artistic while he was more analytical; she came from a very grounded background (supportive family, grew up in the same house her whole life, etc.) as opposed to Sam’s moving around a lot and not having consistent friends or always-present family.

Biggest injustice Supernatural committed against Sam (be as brief or as ranty as you desire) - If we’re talking about Supernatural as in the showrunners: Early s8 Sam giving up his responsibilities - not helping Kevin, not even looking for Dean (?!), it was so out of character sometimes I just pretend it’s not canon. If we’re talking about Supernatural as in the biggest injustice within the show: I mean, besides his entire life? Probably the s9 Gadreel possession. Particularly because Sam thought he was going crazy when Dean kept lying to him about it.

And finally, just say something about him that makes you smile - His relationship with Jack :)

Tagging: I think(?) all of my Sam stan mutuals have been tagged before but if not please consider yourself tagged

#mp #tagging game

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greekowl87 · 5 years

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Fic: When the Spirits Call

For the @xfilesfanficexchange October challenge for @BWJournal over on A03. Here is the @xfilesfanficexchange post here. This is a repost on Tumblr.

A/N: I had tackled this subject a bit before during a fic workshop. I almost forgot it. You can read that here. But for @BWWJournal, I tried to do something completely new. I hope you all like it. Thanks to @luiperlanegra over on Tumblr for giving me some great information about Dia de Los Muertos, including that lovely little legend about the holiday. Thanks to @clover-covered-hills for doing a quick beta for me. Sorry if the ending seems rushed. This was a challenge to write.

Prompt: Dia de Los Muertos // between s9 and IWTB // Lighthearted, if you wanna get romantic that's great, would love maybe something along the lines of HTGSC type of mood, whimsical but with some reflection // MSR // DRR

It was Halloween eve in South San Diego and Scully found herself fidgeting in the chair as Mulder slide into the opposite chair across from her. He untucked the newspaper from under his arm and flapped it open. She crossed her legs and wrapped her arms around herself. “Well? Where’s the car?”

“Oh,” Mulder said. He tapped the palm of his hand sarcastically against his temple. “Four days.”

“What? You said the SUV had a loose spark plug. It shouldn’t take three days.”

“Four days,” he corrected quickly. “You know I’m not a mechanic anyways. But we’re in sunny San Diego. What could be bad about that? Hey, did you order food yet?”

“No, just water. You know what this means now, Mulder, right?”

“Yes, I do. What about this California King Burrito? We can split it, Scully. It comes with a guacamole salad on the side.”

“Mulder, why have to find a motel.”

“Already did.” He glanced at her and smiled. “We’ve been driving too much. Maybe a little air by the sea will do us some good, Scully. I can get you in one of those hot little bikinis.”

Scully rolled her eyes as he motioned for a server. A young woman came up with a smile on her face. “Finally decide on something, ma’am?”

“Yes,” he answered for them. He could feel Scully’s scathing glare. “We’ll have two margaritas and we’ll share the California King Burrito.”

“Excellent choice,” the server said. “I really would recommend the extra queso cheese. Makes the burrito even better.”

“We’ll have that on the side,” Mulder answered for both of them. “And oh, can I get a water as well?”

“Certainly. Ma’am, would you like a refill?”

“Please,” Scully answered tightly.

Mulder titled his head like a puppy. “What?”

“I don’t want to be here, Mulder.”

“We don’t have an option. Besides, I think I’m safe since your brother got transferred to Germany earlier this year. I’m not endangered of being drowned at sea.”

“That’s not it, Mulder.”

“Why? Are you worried about sticking out? We can dye your hair again if that is what you want?”

“No, no.” She sighed and pinched her nose. After a year of being on the run and dying her hair various shades, she was tired of being someone else. Somewhere between New Mexico and Arizona, she went back to being a redhead. “Mulder, I just have a feeling about this place. Our past few times in San Diego haven’t been ideal.”

He paused in thought. “Well, why don’t we do something? Tomorrow is Halloween. I’m sure you know some cool haunted house or something.”

“I don’t want to, Mulder. Remember Christmas and how well that turned out? No. I don’t want to deal with any angry ghosts that threaten to question our relationship or make us spend eternity with a murder-suicide. I already know we have forever and I don’t need us murdering each other to prove it.”

Mulder did not know whether to be touched or worried. She reached across the table to take his hand. “I’m not going to poison while you sleep.”

“That’s a relief,” he laughed. The server appeared with their drinking, skillfully setting them in front of Mulder and Scully. She also placed down a basket of salsa, chips, and the white sauce. Scully reached for her margarita and took a long sip. “Someone's thirsty, Dana,” Mulder said, using her given name.

It caught Scully off guard and she quickly averted her eyes. Not only a few sips, the margarita already working its magic

“My name is Luisa if you all need anything by the way,” the server said. “So, are you in town for a few days? You couldn’t come at a better time.”

“Halloween,” Mulder smiled. “We know.”

“Also it’s El Dia de Los Muertos starting tomorrow as well and it goes on through November 2nd. There is a lot of celebrations going on that are worth checking out if you’re in town for a few days.”

Scully was silent. “We’ll look into that,” he answered.

“Well, I’ll be here all week. Let me know if you need anything.”

Their server left and Mulder grinned at his partner. “That sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

“Whatever you say, Mulder.” She picked at their chips. “Whatever you say. Just no haunted houses.”

**************

It was near midnight as Mulder and Scully lay together in their seaside motel room. The lights were off except for the illumination of the television. She had her back to him and was gently playing with the golden cross that had only left her neck a few times. Scully jumped when she felt Mulder’s warm hand run up her back lightly and back down the length of her thigh. “Talk to me,” he whispered.

She shook her head and removed her hand from her cross. “I’m fine.”

“Scully, you and both know when you are fine and when you are fine.” He kissed her shoulder and encouraged her to turn so they could face each other. “Talk to me,” he repeated.

“It’s being here. I don’t know.”

“Or is the holiday?”

“What holiday?”

“We never had a case that involved the Day of the Dead. Why don’t we see what there is to see? Maybe there some celebrations we can go visit.”

“Why?”

“Why not? I know you don’t believe in that stuff but as that server said, it’s the Day of the Dead. Why don’t we partake in the holiday? It’ll be fun. I know we never had any cases connected to it but I thought it could be fun. You don’t have to answer right now. Just think about it.”

She shrugged and turned her back to him but turned back to face him. “I can’t sleep,” she whispered to him after a moment

Mulder held her close and closed his eyes. He scanned over his photographic memory of fables, legends, and paranormal knowledge to find a story to tell her. “I remember reading somewhere, long ago, about the legend of the cempasúchil flower.”

“The what flower?”

“The cempasúchil flower. Marigolds.” He sighed and began to rub her back slowly. He felt Scully’s breathing slow. “I just know they play a role in the holiday but do you know the legend about the flower isn’t a ghost story? It’s a love story.”

“What were you doing memorizing Aztec legends?”

“I read a lot as a kid, just like you. Do you want the story or not?”

“I’ll be quiet then.” She snuggled closer and pressed her ear against his chest, listening to his slow and steady heartbeat. She hugged him. “Aren’t you going to tell the story?”

“Ms. Impatient,” he teased softly. He kissed her fiery locks. “Okay, let’s see if I remember this.”

Scully closed her eyes and tried to will the thoughts over her deceased daughter and a lost son and listen to his voice. Mulder’s hand reached for the remote and turned off the television. He could make Scully out from the light reflecting from the parking lot.

“Okay, let me see if I can remember this.” He was silent for a second before starting again. “Okay, the lovers were named Xóchitl and Huitzilin. I’m pretty sure I am mispronouncing those names but anyways, they would travel up to the mountain and give flowers as an offering to the sun god. The god also showed his appreciation for his sunny weather.”

“I’m sure the legend doesn’t refer to ‘sunny weather.’”

“It’s been a while. Who’s telling the story, huh?”

She chuckled.

“Anyways, one day, it was particularly nice and they swore to each other that their love would last forever. Everything was good for a time but then war broke out. Huitzilin had to leave her to fight and protect their lands.” Scully winced slightly, thinking back to Mulder’s abduction, the months of uncertainty, and the pain of his temporary death. He rubbed her back to get her to relax. “But as most stories go, Xóchitl soon learned of Huitzilin’s death and she was devastated.”

“Mulder, I don’t think I want to hear anymore.”

“Let me finish at least.” Scully sighed and nodded against his chest. “She walked back up the mountain and begged the sun god to join her love for Huitzilin. And the god, moved by her words, turned her into a flower with fiery colors bathed in the sun’s rays. A hummingbird then appeared and touched its beak into its petals. The flower unfurled its pedals in all its glory. The legend goes that as long as the hummingbird and marigolds exist, the lovers will always be together.”

She smiled sadly. “It’s a lovely legend, Mulder. I wonder what it means.”

“It’s just the next step of the journey. Who knows, we might come back as a pair of dung beetles.”

“As long as we’re together.”

He laughed. “Go to sleep.”

*******************

Halloween. After a rousing breakfast of microwaved burritos, drip coffee, and a stale muffin, Mulder and Scully walked along the beach to gather their thoughts before the day officially began. It had become a morning ritual for them when they first went on the lam and they’d kept it up since then. “So,” Scully started, “what do you want to do today?”

Mulder took a deep breath, inhaling the sea air. “Why don’t we walk around downtown. Maybe go to little Italy? We can make our way back to where we had dinner yesterday. Maybe that waitress has someplace we could visit.”

“It’s Halloween,” she reminded him looking at him. “It’s probably going to be crazy tonight. People will be getting drunk, cops will be out, and I think the attention is something we can do without.”

“That hardly sounds like any fun. Did you grow up in San Diego? I bet you know all the cool spots to hang out and cause mischief.”

“You know I wasn’t that type of person, Mulder.”

“I know,” he chuckled. Scully looked away and focused on the distant horizon. “Scully? What is it?”

“Nothing, Mulder.” She smiled. Although she was a convincing actress, her eyes betrayed her. “Let’s head back to the motel, okay?”

“You can go ahead. I’m going to find a grocery store and pick up a few things.”

“We’re only going to be here for a few days. Why should you pick up a few things? We can just go out to get what we need as we need it.”

“Still, we both know it makes any drab motel room feel a little like home.”

“You can do that,” she told him. “I’m going back to our room.”

Mulder did not push the subject and simply settled for a chaste kiss on the cheek as she gathered her things and walked up the beach back to their motel room. He sighed and began to walk down the block towards the grocery store. As he got closer to town, he noticed the Halloween directions mixing with the skulls and skeletons from Dia de Los Muertos. He smiled as he entered into a small shop, the little bell by the door announcing his arrival. A woman smiled and greeted him. “Morning!”

“Morning,” Mulder replied. He took a basket and began to patrol the aisles in search of their food.

“Can I help you find anything, sir?”

“Um, I think I should be okay,” Mulder added after a moment. “What’s with all the skeletons?”

“Ah! Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos go hand and hand around here. We are right next to the Mexican border after all. Today marks the beginning of the day of the dead. On the 31st, children make little altars to invite the spirits of the children to visit. Families spend the time to clean up and tend to the graves, making little altars, and leaving gifts and offerings, including marigolds. The first and second of November are symbolic as well, the first being for adult spirits, and then the second the families go to the graveyard.”

“Sounds like a wonderful holiday.”

“It is. You’re not from here?”

“Um,” Mulder bit his lip before replying, “my wife and I are visiting the area. She grew up out here as a teenager.”

“Any family?”

Mulder was silent, berating himself for forgetting. “Not anymore. Hey, how late are you open till? We’re staying in a motel right down the block. The Sea Horse Inn.”

“Ah. Bill’s building. It looks like a shithole but it is a quaint little place. And it’s right on the beach. Yep, we’re open. We even got a deli offering delivery starting at lunch till close to there.” She produced a menu from behind the counter. “Here ya go, hun.”

“Thanks.”

“Is there anything you are looking for in particular?”

“Um, the basics but could you tell me more about the day of the dead?”

*********************

Scully drew the curtain to their motel room, closing her view of the Pacific Ocean. She did not know what it was being stuck in San Diego again that bothered her. Maybe it was the holiday. Maybe it was just being on the run for so long. All that she knew was that she felt uncomfortable and exhausted like she had been at sea for too long.

With the curtains drawn, Scully turned on the lamp near the little table that functioned as a desk and a dining table. She reached blindly for the television remote that she knew had placed there minutes before. But her hand grabbed only empty air. She frowned to see the television remote moved at the opposite end of the table. She frowned and quickly turned the channel trying to find something lighter. She settled on the Home Garden Network. As the hosts drowned on about finding the perfect house, Scully let her thoughts drift to Christmas 1997 and the daughter she never really had.

Emily.

Momentarily, she let herself believe it could have been possible. To be a mother. To have a daughter. She let herself dream of the possibilities that were far fetched. But those dreams were snatched away. In the same town of San Diego where her first nephew was born, her daughter had died at the same time. She remembered that night after the orderlies had taken Emily away to perform the hastily done funeral plans. Mulder had been there right by her side. First to hold her as she pounded her fists against his chest at the unfairness at all. He was the only there to hold her on her brother’s couch as she cried silently into his chest. Awkwardly, he was the only one at Emily’s funeral to have a proper boutique of flowers for her and he was the only one to never let her go.

But then came William.

William. Their miracle child. The child that represented all their hopes and dreams. The prayers of normal. She abandoned him because she didn’t know what else to do. She did not know how else to keep their son safe. So she gave him up.

She gave up on them.

Scully jumped when their motel door open with Mulder dragging one of those rolly carts that old ladies had when they did groceries. “Jesus, Mulder.”

“Scully! Did I scare you?”

“Yes! Be glad I didn’t have my weapon on me!”

Mulder chuckled and shut the door behind him. “I’m borrowing this cart from Louie.”

“Louie? Who’s she?”

“Louie is short for Luisa.”

“Must be a common name. So, if you run off with a woman with that name…”

“You have no fear because I have the same fear about you.”

“Haha. What did you come up with?”

She could smell the marigolds before he even walked in. Mulder produced the flowers, a Mr. Potato head doll, and some supplies for them. It was the child’s toy that made Scully flinch. “Why did you buy that, Mulder?”

“We’re in San Diego. I haven’t forgotten.”

“She wasn’t your daughter.”

“She should have been, Scully. She was close enough. She’s William’s big sister. She was my daughter too, even if I never had a chance to say it or prove it.”

At the mention of both of their lost children, she cried. He frowned and felt helpless. This wasn’t the reaction he had been expecting at all. He thought this would be something lighthearted that they could but now, he only felt bad for making her pain worse.

****************

Later that day, Scully finally summoned the courage to agree with Mulder’s plan. They walked along the beach with the sunset, drawing on each other’s strength, before they decided to take a taxi to the graveyard near Holy Mother Catholic Church. As the taxi sputtered away, Mulder dropped the plastic bag on the cement to take both of Scully’s hands. Her eyes were focused on the graveyard ahead. “Look at me,” he commanded.

The voice that had called her out of the darkness numerous times did so again. She forced herself to look into his hazel eyes and hold it. She drew in

“I’m okay.”

“Are you?”

She nodded and disengaged herself. She tried to find some semblance of the FBI agent she used to be but failed as Mulder took her hand. But she failed. Her face crumbled as she bit her lip in a vain attempt to keep a straight face. It was rare for her to let her emotions get the best of her in public.

“Scully, it’s okay.” He kissed the top of her head. “And we’re not going to honor just Emily. This holiday is also about honoring family. We’ll honor our sisters as well, okay? From what I learned, Halloween is for the children's spirits. The rest of the holiday is for the adult spirits.”

Scully hummed in acknowledgment, her eyes fixated on the many headstones in front of them. She tugged his hand and with renewed strength, they made their journey to Emily’s grave.

*****************

They spent the rest of the afternoon in silence in front of Emily’s headstone. They decorated with marigolds they had brought from a local store in honor of the holiday. Mulder had left there briefly and returned carrying a small Mr. Potato Head. Scully cried even more. That evening, they collected a pizza as parents began to emerge on the streets with various miniature versions of pirates, superheroes, and everything from all walks of life. She stopped made a second stop at a small convenience store to pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“Are you sure that is such a good idea,” Mulder asked softly. Scully’s raised eyebrow shut down any other pending conversation. He held up his hands in surrender. “Okay.”

“I just need to take the edge off,” she whispered. “Today…”

“I know,” Mulder acknowledged. “You ready for some pizza and bad horror movies?”

“Sure,” she whispered.

Mulder frowned. Maybe visiting Emily’s grave was a mistake. Maybe celebrating the whole Dia de Los Muertos was too. Scully was just withdrawing into herself. By the time they got back to their motel room, the pizza was barely warm and Scully stuff it into their mini-fridge. She grabbed one of the plastic little cups near the empty ice bucket and poured a hefty serving of Jack Daniels. Mulder kept his mouth shut as he watched her sit at the edge of their bed and flip through the channels.

“Do you want to talk?”

“No.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you, Mulder?”

“I don’t know. Have I done something to warrant Scully wrath?”

“You okay, Mulder.” She sighed and downed the whiskey in one gulp. “I just don’t want to feel right now.”

“We could…”

She shook her head quickly. “Not even that.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just hold me? Watching crappy movies and pretend we have a normal life where William is passed out from trick or treating and we watch Plan 9 from Outer Space.”

“I can do that,” he answered.

The pizza was forgotten and left in the fridge. Scully changed into a pair of sweats and one of Mulder’s tee shirts and he left his clothes on. She poured another shot of Jack Daniels and downed it, making her Irish ancestors proud. They always excelled at wordless communication and they crawled into their respective sides of the bed. Mulder opened his arm as she knew how to melt against his side. He pulled up the blanket around them and whispered, “Comfortable?”

“I got a good buzz and you. The only thing missing is a bad movie.”

“I promise we’ll have a normal life one day, Scully.”

“I know, Mulder.”

“I love you.”

She looked up and kissed under his chin. “I know.”

Mulder hugged her close and switched on the television. “What do you want to watch? Friday the 13th or House on Haunted Hill?”

“Which version?” She mumbled.

Mulder smiled. “Which one do you want to watch?”

“Vincent Price. That 1999 version reminds too much of one of our cases.”

“You got it, Scully.”

As the black and white movie played, Scully listened to his heartbeat and let the alcohol ease her off to uneasy slumber. Mulder hugged her close and sighed, switching the channel to something else when he sensed Scully had drifted off to sleep.

***************

Scully knew from the instant that she opened her eyes that she was dreaming. The beach looked like something she had visited a long time ago from childhood. The sand was too white and the ocean too blue. It was too perfect. But she also knew something was off when she noticed Mulder standing next to her with the same confused look on his face. He looked surprised to see her. “Are we sharing a dream again?”

“We didn’t eat any hallucinogenic mushrooms did we?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, “but I think we are.”

Scully sighed. This was the last thing she needed on Halloween. “Fantastic. I thought this ended after that whole acid trip. I don’t recognize this beach.”

“I do,” he whispered.

Mulder looked down at his bare feet and glanced over to Scully. She was wearing jeans rolled up to her calves and a light tee-shirt, also barefooted. “Why is it that we are dressed for the beach?”

“I dreamed of this beach when I was locked in the hospital and you were in Africa. I saw our little boy here. I dreamed of him.”

Scully crossed her arms, unconvinced. “Then why are we dreaming of it now? What’s changed?”

“I don’t know.”

Over the crashing of the waves, they heard laughter from a nearby sand dune. Automatically, Mulder moved to stand in front of Scully as if to shield her. “Mulder!”

Over her protests, the laughter died away and a young woman with dark brown curly hair appeared on the dune. She couldn’t have been more than 15 years old. Mulder found himself star struck. “She looks like Samantha.”

“Mulder, Samantha died.”

“I know...how could we be dreaming this, Scully?”

The teenage girl laughed and retreated down the dune. “Mulder, it can be any number of things. Maybe we ate something or we were drugged.”

“Maybe it’s just Halloween and the spirits have come to call.”

“Mulder! There has to be a logical explanation for this.” She placed her hand on Mulder’s arm. “Maybe the mold in the motel room…”

From the direction of the sand dune, another voice called. Someone familiar. “There goes Dana, always finding a rational explanation for something.”

Scully stilled and her grip tightened around Mulder’s arm. Her blue eyes watered with unshed tears and she looked to Mulder to ground her. He shook his head, unable to come up with an explanation. “She’s dead. Mulder, that can’t be Missy’s voice. She’s dead.”

“I know.”

“This is a dream.”

“I don’t know at this point,” he replied.

Scully shook her head violently. “Mulder, this is a dream,” she insisted, stressing each word.

“Dana?”

It was Missy’s voice again but it was much closer this time. As Scully turned around to find the source of the voice, she screamed bloody murder. As he turned to see what his partner screamed about, he stood face to face with Melissa Scully looking the same as she did in 1994, vibrant and full of life. She smiled warmly. “Hi, Dana. Hi, Mulder. Happy Halloween, huh?”

“This isn't possible,” Scully repeated, backing away. “Mulder, tell me you are seeing this.”

“I am,” he replied. He stepped forward in front of Scully unconsciously as if to protect her. “What do you want?”

The Melissa Scully in front of her laughed airily and shook her head. “I knew you two would make a cute couple. Didn’t I tell you, Dana? It was only a matter of time.”

“Melissa! Are you tormenting Fox?”

The same teenaged girl from earlier appeared behind Mulder and Scully causing both of them to jump. “No, Sam, well not much.”

“I have to admit, Fox,” the teenage Sam sang, “I bet this is slightly better than dealing with those demented Christmas ghosts that tried to get you to kill each other. Kind of romantic though.”

“You would say that,” Missy countered.

“Well, I’m not the one going around saying Fox and Dana are cosmically connected.”

Neither Mulder or Scully could find a word to mutter between them and their deceased sisters carried on as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Did you leave my niece alone?”

“She’s my niece too,” Sam countered. “Maybe not by blood but she does call me Auntie Sammy. She’s fine right now.”

Scully took Mulder’s hand and pulled him away discreetly. “We need to wake up,” she whispered. “Mulder, we need to wake up.”

“I know but there isn’t a magical button.”

As Missy and Sam bickered, there was a chime somewhere in the distance. Both of the deceased sisters stopped and smiled at the confused pair. “That’s our time,” Melissa replied. “Till tomorrow night. Sam, why don’t you gather up Emily? It’s time for us to go.”

“Emily?” Scully whispered, not believing her ears.

“Of course, Dana. Don’t forget you invited her too.”

“Fox,” Sam smiled, shaking her head. “Till tomorrow.”

Mulder and Scully, speechless for once in their lives, watched their deceased sisters climb back up the dune and disappear over it.

***************

Scully woke up with a jolt, hearing a siren blaring over the distant crash of waves outside the seaside motel room. It took a moment for her to become aware of her surroundings after she realized she wasn’t on the beach anymore. The television was still on, playing an infomercial about indestructible knives. She heard someone outside their door. Mulder instinctively hugged her as he took a deep breath, waking up himself. He rubbed her back and whispered, “It was just a dream. It’s all right.”

“We dreamed the same thing, didn’t we?”

Early morning Scully was too blunt for his tastes. “I don’t know. I think so. Maybe.” She let out a shaky breath. “We don’t have to talk about it right now. We can forget about it.”

She did not reply right away but instead closed her eyes. “Were we asleep long?”

“Um? Maybe? I don’t.” He let her go and set up in bed to check the clock. “It’s at four a.m. Do you want me to make the coffee?”

She shook her head and drew him back to bed. “No, I just want to try and go back to bed.”

“Do you want to talk about the dream?”

“You already know what it was about.”

Mulder knew better than to push her to talk and he lay back down beside her. “Do you want me to turn the channel?”

“Do you think they have those music channels?”

“Like MTV?”

“No,” she yawned. “Like those channels that play music.”

“I don’t know. The alarm clock has a radio though.”

“No,” she shook her head sleepily. “Leave the tv on then. I just don’t want to think.”

“You’ve been on edge since we’ve come to San Diego,” he told her. She curled back up beside him and he readjusted the blankets. “Visiting Emily’s grave…”

“I know,” she whispered.

Mulder sighed in frustration. When Scully withdrew into herself, trying to get her to talk was worse than breaking into Fort Knox. He learned long ago she would talk to him when she was ready, Scully would talk. The most that he could do was be there for her in the meantime. He sighed and nodded. “What do you want me to do, Scully?”

“Just…” She sighed. “Just be here for me?”

“You know that. Of course.”

With her finally comfortable, he snaked his hand up underneath her pajama top and caressed her bare skin. She sighed contently. “Never could turn down a good back rub, could you?”

She shook her head against his shoulder. “Never.”

“I could…”

“This is good, Mulder.”

Okay.

“Will you ever talk about it?”

Scully hugged him and sighed. “Let’s see if we share another dream.”

He’ll take that. “Okay. We still got a few more hours…”

“Sleep, leftover pizza, walk on the beach, and we’ll see where we go from there.”

He hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

She was caught off guard by his sudden proclamation. Usually, they weren’t as vocal in regards to the vocal sentiments and each time it surprised her. She closed her eyes and tried to will herself back asleep. She was safe with Mulder and any dream that she had.

**************************

By that afternoon, Scully let herself enjoy the San Diego beach near their seaside motel room. Mulder was in town somewhere, probably procuring more food or checking in on the status of their car. All she knew was that she was ready to leave San Diego and move on. But then, she was also tired of doing that too. Running. Driving. Whatever it was she was doing with Mulder.

Scully sighed and pulled back the beach blanket slightly to bury her feet in the warm sands. The sounds of the beach lulled her into a false sense of security. Even though it was officially the first day of November, she could see surfers in the distance down the shoreline. “Is the sea whispering its sweet secrets to you?”

She jumped as Mulder sat down next to her and offered her a sip of the drink he had. “You’ve been awfully morose for the past few days.”

“What do expect me to be?”

“I just noticed ever since we came to San Diego, something’s been off.”

“Oh, really? What was it? Visiting my dead daughter’s grave? Us hallucinating the same dream about dead relatives? The better reminders of how I failed as a mother with our son?”

“I didn’t say any of those things, Scully and know I never would.” He was silent. “Are you not telling me something?”

She shook her head.

“Okay. You can be like that. Or you could tell me.”

“I don’t know what to say. Or believe. The dream…”

“Is probably nothing. Why don’t we go back and finish celebrating Dia de Muertos? We won’t have to go back tomorrow if you want. Our car will be ready by then.”

“Where?” she asked. “Some other town where we can’t be us?”

“Is that what is bothering you?”

“Maybe.”

“Scully, you got to open up sometime.”

“I’m tired of running. Seeing Emily’s grave...it’s just a reminder.”

Mulder nodded in acknowledgment. “Why don’t we go one last time. Pay our respects. We can go out to dinner one more time and start the drive back east to Virginia. We can talk about settling down.”

“You would do that?”

“We’ll make it work. We always do, Scully.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she nodded. “I just want to stop running, Mulder. They haven’t come after us in three years. We got the message from my mother that I am not of interest anymore.”

“We’ll talk about it then. Let’s go visit her grave one more time, okay? Then we’ll grab dinner somewhere okay?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

*****************

Scully slid the keycard into the motel door lock, swinging the door to their room open. Mulder was right on her heels, his hands resting lightly on her hips, lightly kissing the crook of her neck tenderly. She relaxed against him. “You feel different,” he whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“Lighter,” he murmured. “I noticed you seem to be at peace.”

She pulled him closer, thinking about their last visit to Emily’s grave. Her headstone was not the only thing that had been decorated. There were other families there honoring their deceased family memories. She remembered overhearing other families talk about the holiday, how death wasn’t necessarily the end but rather a continuation of the next step in life. “Um, just a change of mind,” she replied. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the holiday. Maybe it’s something you said.”

“What did I say?” He asked curiously.

“Doesn’t matter,” she whispered.

“You know, we could do something a bit more adventurous.”

“Not tonight,” she whispered.

“You keep shutting me down,” he teased.

“I find cuddling you right now just as good.”

“Cuddling. Did you go and become a nun when I wasn’t looking, Saint Scully?”

“Humor me. I’ll make it up to you when we leave San Diego.” She turned in his arms and pulled him back into the room. “I can’t explain it.”

“So, more scary movies, leftover pizza, and maybe?”

“Maybe,” she teased.

Mulder shifted suggestively against her and she laughed. He shut the door behind them and Scully turned on the television, changing it to HBO. She disappeared into the bathroom and he heard the shower running. He smiled to himself and quickly changed into a t-shirt and pair of sleeping pants. He took a moment to reflect on the past few days as he grabbed two cold slices of pizza for him and Scully. The past few years on the run had been thought between them, testing and pushing the boundaries of their relationship. William and her decision haunted each mile they traveled together. The pain that Emily’s loss had caused seven years earlier never healed either. But now, maybe a chance to lay things to rest and do what Scully wanted, settle down and start a life.

He heard the shower turn off and Scully emerged dressed in one of his tee shirts mismatched with a pair of her pajama pants. “Dinner, Mulder? You shouldn’t have,” she laughed.

“It’s just pizza.”

“Quit being a Debbie Downer.” She paused after a moment and glanced at him. “Are you hungry?”

“You need to eat, Scully.

********************

“This is the same beach,” Scully stated after a moment.

The sun was blinding the moment they both opened their eyes. In the distance, they both heard the waves crashing against the shore and a young child’s laughter in the distance. Mulder took Scully’s hand tightly. “I doubt the pizza is causing this.”

“We didn’t eat the pizza, remember?” Scully admitted. “Or maybe it’s something else.”

“Bout damn time you two got back. I was thinking you were avoiding falling asleep at all costs.”

In the distance, Melissa Scully wore a light sundress and sunglasses. She looked as beautiful as she did in 1995. Mulder could hear the children's laughter in the distance and he instinctively placed his hand over the small of Scully’s back. Melissa Scully waded down the sanddune and hugged Scully enthusiastically. Mulder watched her stiffen before returning the hug half-heartedly. “It’s the holiday,” Missy explained. “Makes it possible for the world to do whatever it is they do.”

Mulder arched an eyebrow reminiscent of Scully. “Sam was, uh…”

“The beauty of this world,” Scully’s sister answered, “we can appear as we want. Well, the dead anyways. She’s always changing. Something about a child’s spirit. Now Emily…” She laughed. “Keeps calling Mulder daddy.”

Scully held up her hands, having difficulty to process anything. Mulder licked his lips. “I’m going to leave you two. See my sister and… Emily,” he added carefully. Scully’s eyes burned into him. “It’s okay.”

Mulder ventured down to the beach where a younger version of his sister and Emily played in the surf. Scully glanced at Missy. “You would do this.”

“What?”

“Make a big entrance.”

“I didn’t go to medical school and make dad proud. Walk with me, Dana.”

“You don’t know how wrong this is.”

“Poor skeptical little Dana.” She laughed. “This is very much real. You know, Emily talks about watching over her brother...as much as a three-year-old can. I never thought you and Mulder....he looks so much like dad, Dana.”

“Do you think?”

“I know And I see Mulder as well in him. He’s safe, Dana. I loved too many people caring about him on both sides. Come on. Let’s watch them. Enjoy this memory.”

Melissa guided her sister to the tallest dune where Mulder chased his younger sister and Emily through the surf and Scully smiled, holding her elder sister close. “I know all this seems impossible but….”

“Let go of the skepticism and enjoy the moment.”

Both sisters sat on the dune and watched Samantha chase Emily. Halfway through, Mulder stopped his antics and looked for Scully. She waved half-heartedly. He bent down and whispered something to his sister who nodded in agreement. With Emily’s hand within hers, an eight-year-old Samantha Mulder appeared in front of her with Emily. Both of them smiled. “Thank you for not giving up on me, or Fox, Dana,” Samantha said.

Scully licked her lips, unable to answer.

“Love you, mommy,” Emily added with a smile. She tugged on Samantha Mulder’s hand with impatience of a three-year-old. “Sam, let’s go back to the beach. Come on!”

“Okay, beat you there!”

The two of them raced back to down to the beach past Mulder who was hiking back up to the Scully sisters. He took his partner’s hand and sat next to her. Melissa Scully smiled. “They’re okay. We’re all okay. Dad is too,” she added with a laugh. “But you know it’s him watching over mom. But unfortunately, the buck stops here you too. Our time is almost done.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s November 3rd,” Missy replied as if it was obvious. “Time for you to wake up and move on.” She smiled. “You always did make a cute couple.”

“Melissa!” Scully shouted.

Mulder grinned and acknowledged it with a sensual kiss to Scully.

“And here I was thinking the cosmically connected one,” she laughed. “You all need to move on, build and create the life you both deserve. You’ve suffered enough. Remember the past but don’t let it define you.”

“We were just talking about that,” Scully whispered, glancing at Mulder.

“Then you need to get a move on.”

“Think of it, Scully. We can go back to Virginia, buy that home we’ve talked about, and do stuff.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “I will admit I do miss some earthly pleasures. I bet he’s fantastic, Dana from just looking at him.”

“Both of you stop it,” Scully laughed.

*****************

Two weeks later, halfway across the country in a Farrs Corner, Virginia, Mulder wiped the dust off a picture frame that had been in storage at Mrs. Scully’s home for the past three years. With their newly purchased unremarkable home, everything seemed possible. His partner smiled as she saw the picture of his younger sister and him. “Look how handsome you are,” Scully teased.

“I was mutant while going through puberty,” Mulder replied. “Unlike that cutey right there.” He pointed to a family portrait of the Scully siblings with Dana Scully smiling with pink hair and braces. “She’s gonna be my girl.”

Their newly purchased house promised a new future free of their painful past and fear of any government officials coming to arrest Mulder. They finally had a life they could start to build they wanted. Scully wiped the wooden shelf above their fireplace with Pledge and settled one of the few pictures of William they had and next to it, one of Emily. Mulder smiled and moved the picture of him and Samantha next to it. “Looking good,” she told him.

“We have a lot of work ahead.”

“Nothing we can’t handle.” She admired their work. “Remember the past as Missy told us.”

He hugged her from behind and rested his chin on the top of her head. “What do you say we make a future, Scully upstairs?”

She smiled and hugged him close. “Love you,” she whispered.

“Now and forever,” he added.

-End.

#xfficexchange #xfiles #xf fic #txf #txf fic #mulder #scully #msr #msr fic #unremarkable house #on the run #mulder and scully

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five-wow · 5 years

Text

10.01 thoughts (or basically a rambly recap, very spoilery, with a lot of caps lock abuse) under the cut!!! :D

JERRY’S BEEN SHOT. that’s not actually a surprise at this point in any way, but oh gosh, poor guy. “it hurts more than i thought it would.” oh no. :c

i’m confused though - grover’s there calling an ambulance, jerry is bleeding, steve is keeping pressure on the wound, but where’s danny? clutching his heart out of frame? OH WAIT he could be arresting ezra hassan, i suppose?

on screen: 2 weeks later. jfdkfjdk they resolved that cliffhanger in like, under thirty seconds.

love jerry’s longer curly hair! REALLY LOVE that jerry and junior are playing battleship, omg.

jerry thought about HIS DND BUDDIES WHEN HE GOT SHOT. i love him. (i’m also both worried about his mental health and glad they’re showing him actually feeling some repercussions from getting shot, aside from the flesh wound.)

tani and junior!!! are going to the opera!!! wonderful, i’m into it.

AH. here we have steve on his date, omfg. it all looks so pretty - the background, the restaurant, the date, steve. REALLY AWKWARD conversation though, fjdkfd. steve’s been hanging with danny too much - as soon as someone asks “what are you thinking” he just opens up his heart.

“it’s just crazy, you know. things that happen at work.” FDJKFDJF i’m glad he’s seeing that AFTER NINE YEARS.

DANNY CALLS. i’ve seen the clips that were drifting around tumblr, so i knew it was going to happen, but still. DANNY CALLS. IN THE MIDDLE OF STEVE’S DATE.

“i think it’s best,” steve says, about taking a phone call from danny while he’s in the middle of a first date with a really pretty woman who seems very kind about his total awkwardness, oh BOY

the WAY danny says “hi” just already has me in stitches. i die. and then steve’s “dude! i don’t know.” he sounds so frustrated! poor guy.

“words are kinda just, they’re falling out of my mouth, i don’t know why.” OH STEVE. also: that’s 80% of all fic in which steve finally confesses his feelings to danny ever. thank you, canon, for giving us a steve who is canonically prone to this.

“do you have any game at all?” danny asks, of steve, WHO HE IS CALLING IN THE MIDDLE OF A DATE. the co-dependency here is HIGH and it’s probably unhealthy but i’m enjoying it a lot, truly.

okay so, steve says “you’ve called twice, we haven’t even ordered!” and then DANNY SAYS “if you answered my texts, i wouldn’t have to call” and that’s just ALL SO BAD. they are TERRIBLE together and that woman should probably run far away.

danny! way to build up steve’s confidence on this date by telling him his thing is awkward and messing things up, holy shit.

I’M SCREAMING. “that was danny. who i love. very much.” I AM YELLING. YES. GOOD. PREMIUM CONTENT.

just. i love “i love you”s, okay. i love them. we got one (1) in s9 at the end of 9.01, but we’re off to a good start now in 10.01, with steve telling his frigging date that he loves danny, oh my.

IT GOT WORSE. i paused like, in the middle of steve’s sentence, and then as soon as i hit play the date said “sounds like my ex” and steve says “you know, it’s funny that you say that, because it’s kind of like a marriage” and uh, hello steve, i made a gifset about that the day before yesterday, thank you for giving me an update, but also just. wtf. wtf holy shit

i. i just. this is supposedly steve on a date with a woman being all heterosexual, but it’s really an extremely mcdanno scene, like ten times more than i was prepared for, wow.

real talk though, i’m almost certain this relationship isn’t going anywhere, but this woman seems really cool!!! i love her so far.

tani is actually enjoying the opera and junior seems to be paying more attention to her than the stage and i have no idea if this is actually an officially official date between them or if they’re still “just friends”, but it’s all so cute. and then, of course, some anonymous guy shows up with a sketchy briefcase that’s inevitably going to contain weapons, but oh well, it was nice for how long it lasted.

a slightly updated intro!!! katrina law is already in it (which i like) and the new group shot is kind of crowded but really nice, but fjdkfdjkdf they chose a really awkward moment where adam is supposedly typing something on the tech table but he’s REALLY OBVIOUSLY just randomly tapping his fingers on it. that’s going to haunt me. oh dear show runners, why.

danny... says steve was blowing his date, as they arrive on the crime scene that junior and tani found, and steve says he has a second date and danny goes “you got a second date?” incredulously and almost dismayed and that just really sounds like he WANTED steve to blow it. what is this, danny, setting steve up with a pretty woman from steve’s school to test him? see if he’ll say no and fall in your arms instead, and when he doesn’t, you’re disappointed?

even the lighting in this random stairwell gun fight chase scene is kind of pretty! the blue and red? i like it.

oh NO, steve, you’re not even ten minutes into a new season and you’re chasing some suicidally parcouring bad guy across roof tops and into a jump that’s REALLY going to give danny a heart attack, jesus.

fdjkfd danny telling steve that ten years ago he would’ve made that jump? telling him he’s forty? i’m not sure if that’s kind of mean or really good, but it might be both.

plot stuff happens, but i keep getting distracted by all the grey in steve’s beard and his new, longer hair. it’s good.

i like quinn’s introduction!!! i really do, more than i’d expected. and honestly, that déjà vu thing lenkov was talking about is very faint to me, to the point where it’s mostly just there because danny says it out loud in the text and then forcibly makes it so. they’re not in steve’s garage, it’s the wrong car they’re standing next to, there are three people instead of two and there’s no “one, two, three” and showing badges, but steve yeets his badge over the windshield of the car in quinn’s direction. the similarity isn’t that strong.

danny going “i gotta follow him” about steve and “i don’t know [shrugs]” about where they’re going is beautiful.

i’m about halfway through the episode now and steve and danny have spent SO MUCH time together and it’s really good but also has me slightly worried that they’re pushing all the steve&danny content for the entire season in one episode, omg. it’s good, though. i’m happy for now.

adam is still doing yakuza stuff. i get it, because it’s the one big thing they’ve given his character, but i do get kind of tired of it. he’s supposedly out, but every time they need it for plot reasons, he still has connections somewhere that are willing to help him for whatever reason.

and then quinn shows up and pulls a gun on adam, fjdkfd. listen, i know i said i was getting tired of him doing the yakuza thing over and over, but shooting him would be a little drastic.

danny: “this is good, we’re chasing a monster truck. that’s totally normal, right?” how is it that NOW they’re both suddenly realizing their lives are kind of crazy? they weren’t crazy before, guys? guys??

HAH, the guy in the truck drives over a dozen cars. that’s ridiculous, but a lot of fun, omg.

danny, when he finds tani and quinn in the same room at hq: “oh good, you two have met.” YES. MY SENTIMENTS. except i’m perhaps a little more exuberant about it. TWO MAIN FEMALE CHARACTERS IN ONE SCENE YES GOOD I LIKE THIS. we haven’t had this since... season 4, maybe? when catherine was briefly part of the team?

oh SHIT. danny: “are you sure you’re not related to steve in any way?” okay SO. we’re all assuming quinn is steve’s new love interest, but quinn being steve’s secret half sister somehow? also nonsense, but nonsense i’d like. and i mean, they need to keep the mcgarrett family drama alive somehow, so this could be fun.

quinn: “can’t this thing go any faster? [steve looks at her weird] what?” steve: “nothing. just never had that complaint before.” that is a LIE. i know for a fact that that’s a lie, because i have a stupid amount of knowledge of h50 of the top of my head and one of the things i know is that in 8.01 tani pops up between steve and danny while she’s in the backseat of the camaro and ALSO asks if it doesn’t go any faster. i know what they’re going for here, setting quinn and steve up as equals, and i like what they’re trying to tell us about quinn as a character in theory but come on, if you’re trying to convince us steve is all impressed by this woman that you might be setting him up with romantically, at least do some continuity fact checking on your own show, guys.

anyway! i do like that it’s canon that all women in five-0 think the camaro isn’t fast enough. get wrecked, steve and danny, HA.

when steve said to the bad guy “my friend lou here is going to put some handcuffs on you” i thought at first that he said “liu”, as in quinn’s last name, and oh man, first they had tani and junior’s last names as rey and reigns, which was close enough, but now they have lou and liu, gosh.

!!! this talk between steve and quinn in front of kamekona’s?? i LIKE IT. A LOT. we get to know a little more about quinn and steve genuinely does treat her as an equal and a capable colleague and there’s nothing especially romantic about this, which is good this early on even if they’re doing that later because i do feel like it could possibly work but right now it would just be really weird and very forced and i’m just really relieved that’s the dynamic they’re going for. this, this is good.

OH BOY. “we’re breaking up with you, danny” steve says. i... wow.

FAIR THOUGH. it’s probably a REALLY GOOD idea of steve to maybe involve danny a little less in his dating life if he wants to, well, actually have one that’s viable for life, but oh GOSH. danny going “you can’t cut me out” when steve tells him this? danny is just. so interested in steve’s romantic life, damn.

tani: “mom and dad are fighting again.” fdjkfdjk YES. this time it’s not even junior saying this to eddie behind steve and danny’s back, it’s just tani saying it out loud to the entire group and nobody says anything about it so uhhh that’s accepted fact then, within the team. GOOD.

ohhhh jerry is leaving. also not a real surprise and it’s probably kind of good that the team doesn’t endlessly keep growing if quinn joins this season, but ahh, i’m sad, anyway.

GROUP HUG. i love EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS.

oh gooood, somebody put a bomb in the champ box in steve’s garage. that’s harsh.

final thoughts: i LIKED THIS. very much!!! i’m relieved about that, tbh, because at least i’m happy about the start of the season, which seems like a good sign, haha. i love quinn so far, there was REALLY GREAT mcdanno stuff in this, i love that steve is dating again, tani and junior seem to be dating, jerry is fairly healthy and happy - all around lots of good stuff.

i do kind of think that cliffhanger from last season got extremely little attention (we didn’t even see ezra hassan get arrested, and what happened to her kid? where was danny? idk it was weirdly short and quick), but it’s still possible they’re coming back to that in a later episode, idk.

#h50 #10.01 #h50 spoilers #episode rambles

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

Text

8.01, We Need To Talk About Kevin.

and

8.02, What's Up, Tiger Mommy?

Dean's back from his vacation to Purgatory, again completely not processing Cas's decision to stay there. Much the same way Cas had refused to engage with his own guilt in the latter part of s7, Dean is now playing the same game with his own guilt and grief, battling feelings of worthlessness at not having been able to "save" Cas.

And like at the beginning of s7, he's once again lost Cas to Purgatory.

DEAN: Yeah, Cas didn't make it. SAM: What exactly does that mean? DEAN: Something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hairy towards the end, and he... just let go. SAM: So Cas is dead? You saw him die? DEAN: I saw enough. SAM: So, then what, you're not sure? DEAN: [turning back to SAM] I said I saw enough, Sam.

And here we have Dean refusing to face what happened...

Meanwhile we also learn how Sam has effectively been running away from his entire life again.

DEAN: I wasn't dead. [He stands up and walks around SAM.] In fact, I was knee-deep in God's armpit killing monsters, which, I thought, is what we actually do. SAM: Yes, Dean. And far as I knew, what we do is the thing that got every single member of my family killed. I had no one – no one. And for the first time in my life, I was completely alone. And, honestly, I-I didn't exactly have a roadmap. So, yeah, I-I fixed up the Impala, and I just... drove. DEAN: After you looked for me. [SAM says nothing.] Did you look for me, Sam? [SAM looks away.] Good. That's good. Now, we – we... always told each other not to look for each other. That's smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each another, but not this time, right, Sammy? SAM: Look, I'm still the same guy, Dean. DEAN: Well, bully for you. I'm not.

And here we have the upcoming character conflict that will power us through all the rest of s8 (and s9, and s10... and through a good bit of s11) (welcome to Marshmallow Era).

(CROWLEY: Really, Dean, who writes your stuff? A marshmallow?)

DEAN: Nothing. Is that, uh, that how you rationalized taking a year off? People will be okay? SAM: People were okay, Dean. You're okay. DEAN: Wow. SAM: Look, I did what we promised we'd do. I moved on. I lived my life. DEAN: Yeah, no, I'm getting that. SAM: Look, it wasn't like I was... just oblivious. I mean, I read the paper every day. I saw the weird stories… [He sits down on the other bed facing DEAN] …the kind of stuff we used to chase. DEAN: And you said what? "Not my problem"? SAM: Yes. And you know what? The world went on. DEAN: People died, Sam. SAM: People will always die, Dean. Or maybe another hunter took care of it. I don't know, but the point is, for the first time, I realized that it wasn't only up to me to stop it.

Because this is what Sam has always tried to run away from. Only this time, Kevin was the fallout of it. I hate, hate, hate this. But heck, it does provide the drama for a good long time to come... fueling Sam's "penance" and self-sacrifice. Except it's coming from this deeply toxic place that Cas's came from in staying in Purgatory, and that Dean's will come from in taking on the Mark of Cain.

DEAN: Okay, if this kid is right, he's sitting on a bombshell. Hell, he is the bombshell. [SAM looks away.] What? SAM: That. I mean, there's no way that Kevin's getting out of this intact, is there? DEAN: Well, he's doing pretty well for himself so far. SAM: Yeah, he got out. DEAN: And now he's in it... whether he likes it or not. SAM: So...free will, that's only for you?

Aaaaahhahhhahhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa >.>

Dear Sam: no. Dean's literally never had free will of his own. He literally gave it up the moment John put you in his arms and told him to run outside as fast as he could and not look back. Or... probably longer. Especially considering they're Chuck's favorite characters...

Does Dean like ANY of this? I mean, he's long ago accepted he's good at it. He's long ago accepted he's not really suited to any other sort of life. And he's long ago accepted that he's the kind of person who just can't sit by knowing that the bad stuff is still happening in the world, when there's a chance he might be able to stop it. He knows he can't just... know about it all, and just assume someone else will fix it, that it's not his problem anymore. Meanwhile, Sam believes (and has ALWAYS believed) that he absolutely could...

And all of this interpersonal crap continues into...

8.03, Heartache.

DEAN: All right, man, look, I get it. You took a year off to do yoga and play the lute, whatever, but I'm back. Okay, we're back, which means that we walk and kill monsters at the same time. We'll find Kevin. But in the meantime, do we ignore stuff like this? Or are innocent people supposed to die so that you can shop for produce?

DEAN: I don't know about you, but this last year has given me a new perspective. SAM: I hear you. Believe me. DEAN: I know where I'm at my best, and that is right here, driving down crazy street next to you. SAM: Makes sense. DEAN: Yes, it does. SAM: Or... maybe you don't need me. I mean, maybe you're at your best hacking and slicing your way through all the world's crap alone, not having to explain yourself to anybody. DEAN: Yeah, that makes sense, seeing as I have so many other brothers I can talk to about this stuff. SAM: Look, I'm not saying I'm bailing on you. I'm just saying make room for the possibility that we want different things. I mean, I want my time to count for something. DEAN: So, what we do doesn't count?

WELL THIS IS A MIXED BAG HERE IN CONTEXT, But in the larger context of the ongoing story, and where we know they go over the next 7 years, this... is tentatively a step in the right direction, despite it coming from a really fucked up toxic source here in the context of this episode.

Sam's spot on with the realization that they both might want different things, but right now Dean's just grateful enough to be alive and back in the real world to even think about what he might WANT, other than to return to the relatively normalcy he'd lost while in Purgatory. And for him, that's hunting on the road with Sam. The dude is NOT asking for a lot here, Sam.

Plus, Dean's already tried Sam's way, of living a normal life and pretending nothing bad exists in the world, and he HATED it, couldn't do it, and wouldn't chose that for himself again. He can't even begin to understand how Sam could pretend the vast majority of his life just didn't happen and go play house with someone as if he was a person (and not a hunter, to use Bobby's harsh metaphor from 7.09).

So therein lies their disconnect. And Sam isn't pushing this agenda just because he sees them havving their own lives, their own goals and interests, as a HEALTHY thing. No, Sam's still choosing that as a reaction, as "running away" from his life. They're nowhere CLOSE to figuring out how to balance their individual wants and needs and desires. They're still on the "all in or all out" mindset of extremes. Which drives so much of their interpersonal drama for the next few years...

DEAN: Wow. Back in business. Got the win. Admit it – feels good, huh? You know, I was thinking about what Randa said about, uh, you know, what it feels like to be a warrior. I get it, man, I do. SAM: I know. I know you do. I don't. Not anymore. Hell, maybe I never did. DEAN: Come on, Sam, don't ruin my buzz, would you? SAM: Dean, listen, when this is over – when we close up shop on Kevin and the tablet – I'm done. I mean that. DEAN: No, you don't. SAM: Dean, the year that I took off, I had something I've never had. A normal life. I mean, I got to see what that felt like. I want that. I had that.

This is Dean's idea of "normal." He understands this life. And Sam feels even more like it's something he's been dragged into against his will over and over again.

What he had was an illusion. I mean, it actually all did happen, but he sees it in this weird idealistic way in his memories, with too-bright lighting, the cinematic equivalent of rose colored glasses. Which we get to see from an outsider's perspective in...

8.04, Bitten.

The couple leaves and MICHAEL or BRIAN’s camera zooms in on SAM and DEAN.

SAM: All right. There is not a case here. DEAN: There is a case here. You're rusty. We just got to dig a little deeper. Come on. DEAN walks towards the IMPALA and after a moment SAM follows him. BRIAN: Dude, it's so crazy. MICHAEL: Is it just me or are you getting a workplace-romance vibe from those two?

>.>

I mean, Dean's right, Sam's rusty, but at least a little of it is the same thing he expressed in 8.03. He doesn't want to "waste time" on these minor cases when they still have the True Mission of finding Kevin, translating the demon tablet, and slamming the gates of Hell forever... which... yiiiikes.

Reminder to anyone who hasn't read everything I've ever written about s8 before, but I still see this as the one time the Winchesters ALMOST pulled something just as horrific as Cas letting all the souls out of Purgatory, but slammed on the brakes at the last second and saving things. Unfortunately Cas was manipulated (again!) by Metatron into doing the same thing to Heaven and dumping the angels onto the Earth. I mean... thank heck Dean didn't let Sam go through with THAT particular act of hubris, right? Because they really were in the wrong trying to mess with the natural order that badly in the first place. And honestly, EVERYTHING they did after that point was cleaning up the messes they ALL made here... including the Mark of Cain and the Darkness... they stumbled into those things from a place of guilt over all this other nonsense... and they're just now FINALLY getting back to the root cause of all of it in 14.20...

but back to this episode... or these four episodes I guess...

MICHAEL: The FBI is trying to kill me. KATE: Shut up! Everybody, shut up, okay? First things first, those guys – those guys aren't FBI, all right? I'm pretty sure that FBI agents don't say "awesome" that much. You know? And – and they definitely don't hunt and kill college kids. MICHAEL: Did – did they say anything else? BRIAN: Dude, they just sat and talked about how they have been apart for a year. You were probably right about that whole office-romance thing. MICHAEL: I'm screwed. I'm screwed. BRIAN: Kate, come on. What are we supposed to do? KATE: Okay, you know what? You guys, you're missing the big picture, okay? They – they don't know about you, Michael. They're looking for whoever, whatever bit you in the first place, the pureblood. That... that gives us some time... to figure it out, you know?

Even random strangers pick up on the creepy codependency vibes.

KATE: I didn't finish Brian's movie to justify what happened. To be totally honest, I'm not really even sure if I understand it at all. I just wanted you to know that – that Michael wasn't always a monster. None of us were. I'm leaving. And you'll never hear from me ever again. Look, I know that there's another way. I can eat animal hearts. [A tear rolls down her face.] I've never hurt anyone. Nobody human, anyway. I didn't choose this. Please... please give me a chance.

Which...

SAM: Look, Kate's right. She hasn't hurt anybody – well, anybody human at least. DEAN: Yeah, she didn't – she didn't choose this. Let's give her a shot. SAM: Seriously? DEAN: Yeah, yeah. SAM: And, look, if Kate pops back up, I mean, if she strays, then no questions asked. [He unplugs the hard drive and laptop on the desk and picks them up.] We do what we got to do and, um, we take her down.

Which is a very different result from such past episodes as 7.03 and 7.13. And hey, progress... At this point in the narrative, every little step into the grey area, away from the absolutes that still rule their lives, counts.

#spn 8.01 #spn 8.02 #spn 8.03 #spn 8.04 #s14 hellatus rewatch #it's spirals all the way down #spiders georg of the tnt loop #welcome back to the codependency arc... >.>#winchester family dynamics #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #sam vs reality #that's what free will is #breaking the codependency #the scheherazade of supernatural

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years

Text

9x04: Details

Okay, let's get down to the details.

***As always, spoilers for 9x04 abound in this post. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Michonne:

In the opening sequence with Michonne, we saw a lot of interesting symbols. Apples (which we later also saw Daryl eating; Apple Theory), lots of books with visible titles, and we also saw Michonne journaling, which reminded me of Beth.

In the sequence where she saw the walker hanging and eventually picked up the bat, it reminded a lot of us of Sasha in S5. Michonne just seemed angry and somewhat out of control.

Negan, talking to Michonne, proclaimed himself on the C team. Kind of interesting because back in the prison, entire group stayed in the C block of the prison. Symbolically, C seems to represent wherever TF is currently living. So just more reinforcement of the ABCD symbolism.

Talking to Michonne, he tells her she’s a warrior and should embrace her violence. (Ever the manipulator.) Negan says that behind walls and bars, "we die." He means the warrior. I don’t even think this is a particularly TD theme, but we’ve seen it in the show before. Um, back in S5? Remember Carl said being in Alexandria would make them weak, and then Rick, Carol and Daryl discussed it on the porch. Just saying this is yet another theme that ties back to S5.

This isn’t anything new, but it also struck me how often Carl has been mentioned since he died. Michonne kept saying, "He’s still here," and she means that he's there in spirit, even though he's dead. Notice how they never said anything like that said about Beth. Father Gabriel asked Maggie about her in 5x10, but since then we've had exactly zilch.

Judith’s painting on the wall looked just like Eastman's daughter’s. Just pointing that out.

At one point, Negan tells Michonne, "we’re the same," and repeats it twice. That's exactly what Crazy Tattoo Guy at Terminus said too. So callbacks to Terminus, and the reiteration of that theme.

It’s an interesting theme. They’ve talked about it a lot on the show, and on TTD. Just about how there’s potential for EVERYONE to become a monster. The difference comes in individual choices. An interesting theory about this was put forth in my group, though. Since they were talking about parenting children, and Negan said he and Michonne were the same…perhaps a hint that Negan is Gracie’s father after all?

I thought it was sweet that Michonne talked about her sons (plural) and her daughter (Judith). Negan also said “nothing is worse than nothing.” (The profound themes were strong with this episode.)

I also wondered about the Game Day book Michonne read to Judith. I noticed the part she read talked about everyone putting on their gear for the game. Might have just been a small foreshadow that shit’s about to go down, either with Rick or the Whisperers. Don’t know if it will connect to anything else. Kind of interesting, though.

Eugene:

It caught my ear that Eugene talked about how there was a big buildup of water under the bridge overnight. That was significant because it happened overnight, not over a long period of time. It reminded me of 4x01 when Carol told Daryl that there'd been a big buildup of walkers against the prison fences overnight. The dialogue is even the same. (”big buildup overnight...”)

We were right about the names of the hordes being Shakespearean! Yea!

I knew right away we were when he called the new herds Tybalt and Cordelia. Seriously, I've never heard the name Tybalt used anywhere except in conjunction with Shakespeare. But then Eugene goes on to admit that the names are coming not only from Shakespeare's characters, but specifically from deceased characters in his plays.

Carol:

I don’t have a whole lot about Carol and Rick's interaction, except that Angela Kang did say on TTD that it's a callback to S4. Basically, it's supposed to be a mirror or an anti-mirror of the fact that Rick banished Carol in S4. Here, he talks about how he admires her, and her transformation gives him hope.

In this part, Carol says if the state saviors leave the rest of the group, that's on them. They need to “figure out who they want to be.” Major theme right there.

When Jed and the Saviors showed up to pick a fight at the bridge, Carol of course pretends to stand aside at first and then kicks his butt. He takes the keys, and the camera focused on those a lot. (Key theory.)

That's actually the last we saw of this particular plot. Rick and Daryl heard the gunshots and worried it would draw the walkers, but we don't actually know how the fight between Carol and the Saviors turned out.

Rick and Daryl falling into the hole:

Daryl says, “this time, man, it’s gonna go the way it was supposed to.” That theme was repeated constantly throughout 5x09. You know, the last episode we SAW Beth in before S9? (“It went the way it had to. The way it was always going to.”

The biggest thing this reminded me of is the Governor episodes. In 4x06, at the end of the episode, he falls into the big hole, that looks like a grave, with Megan. Walkers fall in as well and he has to fight to keep them from biting her. Walkers even fell into Rick and Daryl’s pit eventually, just like with the Gov.

The most significant thing about this, aside from all the Beth parallels in the Governor episodes, is that right after falling into a grave, the Gov is reunited with people he knew before and hadn't seen a long time (Martinez). That makes me hopeful.

We also have some serious resurrection symbolism here because we have living people trying to claw their way out of a grave.

There are so many interesting things in their conversation, some of which I talked about yesterday.

Daryl also mentioned, "trying" which we know is a theme. One we specifically heard him talking about in 5x06, Consumed, when he was looking for Beth.

He also talked about having faith. He said Rick wanted them to have faith in other people, but the truth is that Rick didn't have enough faith in them. Rick denied that being true, and explained that he was trying to honor Carl. And who was the original person to lecture Daryl about faith? That would be Beth.

It was super-sweet when Daryl said he would die for Rick and would've died for Carl.

I think it's super important that Rick and Daryl had to help each other get out of the pit. There's a lot of symbolism there, and for me, it's yet another way of showing that Rick will be back. Daryl couldn't get out of the pit without Rick any more than Rick could've gotten out without Daryl. They need one another to survive and thrive, so Rick can’t be dying yet.

Everyone in my FB group immediately recognized the parallels between this scene and Daryl Rick climbing out of the ravine in S2. I’ve also seen edits of it around the fandom, so this wasn’t lost on anyone. It’s kind of an opposite situation, though.

In S2, Merle wasn’t truly there. Daryl was just hallucinating him. (Which also might be a foreshadow of Rick’s coming hallucinations, btw.) Here, obviously Rick is present in the flesh. But more than that, Merle didn't actually help Daryl out of the ravine in S2. Daryl had to get himself out. Here, Rick reached down with his hand, called Daryl ‘brother,’ and helped him out.

It was even more poignant because of the parallels to Merle, imho.

They were climbing out of a grave while death tried to pull them down. We even saw the walker hands reaching up from below, which I thought was a powerful image.

I even feel like…

…okay, maybe I’m delving WAY too deeply into this, but I was thinking that Rick and Daryl ended up in that pit because of their own stupidity. They were having a petty argument, and it came blows. Then they accidentally rolled into a RANDOM. GINORMOUS pit. I mean, who put it there? And why didn’t either of them notice it? Probably because they were too busy punching one another.

So again, I feel like they fell in because of their own foolishness, and then had to claw their way out. Sounds a lot like what happened at Grady. Beth stabbed Dawn in the shoulder. By doing something foolish, she kinda got herself “killed.” And I do believe that afterward she clawed her way back from death. AND it had something to do with a walker horde, hence the hands reaching up for Rick and Daryl. Just felt like a really sympatico parallel to me.

Two things about the very end:

1) Rick riding a white horse to go save the bridge. White horse equals Beth and the horse symbolism.

2) Rick wanted to do something very dangerous (try to lead the walker horde away from the bridge) and Daryl told him not to. Rick didn't listen, so eventually Daryl relented. This is a very close parallel what happened at Grady. Daryl didn't stop Beth from hugging Noah, and because of that she was shot. Here, Daryl didn't stop Rick from doing something dangerous, and because of it. Rick was impaled. If he loses Rick now because of that, it's going to completely devastate Daryl.

Did I say two things? I meant three! (I actually wrote the above two first and then, re-watching, realized a third.)

3) The white horse. It occurred to me that I had no idea where that white horse came from. It just showed up all of a sudden. I re-watched all the Rick and Daryl parts to figure out where the horse shows up from and finally understood that it came from the Carol/Saviors confrontation. When the guns start going off, we see it running away from the scene. It got scared and took off, ending up near Rick and Daryl. Okay, that explains where it came from. But it’s still a little convenient, no? And as far as Rick and Daryl are concerned, it basically just came out of nowhere, running out of the woods.

So my go-to response is that this must be symbolic. And we all know who the white horse represents, right? So I’d say this represents Beth suddenly appearing out of the woods…right when Rick heads off toward the walker horde.

Oh, but it gets even better than that. Also while re-watching the Rick/Daryl scenes (seriously give yourself permission to re-watch those scenes in this episode a hundred times) something else caught my eye.

Rick physically pulls Daryl up out of the pit, right? I noticed that when trying to do that, as Daryl is reaching up and they sort of miss hands several times, Rick keeps repeating, “You’re almost there. You’re almost there.

That struck me as a little odd. Not “we’re” almost there. “You’re” almost there. So think of it this way. If the pit with walkers at the bottom represent death, and Rick and Daryl getting out represents coming back to life, we have Rick saying to Daryl, “You’re almost there. You’re almost there.” We all know Daryl has emotionally been in the pit since he lost Beth in S5. The emotional pit where he believes all these negative things about letting people go and not honoring the dead.

So I feel like this is the writers telling us that symbolically, he’s finally going to make it out of the pit. And what shows up right after he does? The white horse. Randomly. From out of nowhere.

And because Rick is involved; the one who says this line, helps Daryl out and rides off on the white horse, I feel like something about Rick is what will bring Daryl out of the pit. In other words, something about what Rick is about to will lead to Beth. Which will finally pull Daryl out of his 4-season emotional funk.

Man, I hope I’m right about this. ;D

It was also pointed out in my group that Rick's wound is in the side, which actually is a mirror of one of Christ's wounds. He was stabbed in the side before dying. And that's not the first time we've seen stigmata wounds on Rick. Remember, he impaled his hand in a crucifixion sort of way when he was fighting Winslow in S7. Just more evidence that this death will be a fake out and he'll be returning.

P.S. Sucks to be Father Gabriel. Poor guy.

I think that’s all I have for now. Given that today is Halloween, I can’t promise I’ll have a post for Thursday, but I do want to go over some things said on TTD. There were a lot of them this week and many of them were very important. So I’ll aim for that for Friday. Cheers!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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dawnofaqua · 6 years

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What's your opinion on all the queens in the most recent All Stars?

This is the kind of question I like fghdj

Trinity Taylor: Love her. Adore her. She was absolutely amazing on her season and the bitch is delivering again. I hope to see her going far, I’m so glad she’s shining so much! Definitely one of my top 4 picks.

Monique Heart: I love her, though in the first episode I was kind of annoyed because of how much she kept mentioning her memes fgdh after watching the second episode I’m back on Monique’s train anyway, I think she has an amazing personality and she’s just so funny to watch.

Gia Gunn: She’s very pretty but I never really cared for her, I disliked her on her season and unfortunately I dislike her again on All Stars. While I’m sure the edit is making things worse, I really can’t get on board with her. She’s probably playing it for the airtime, but honestly? I’m the kind of person that LOVES Rupaul’s Best Friends race, so the useless drama has never been entertaining for me. (Even though I have to admit, Farrah’s ‘I don’t have to force storylines to get air time’ had me SCREECHING fgdh). But I still honestly thought her performance in the first episode was amazing and that she deserved a place in the top 2.

Jasmine Masters: Never liked her. From what I’ve seen on her IG it even looks like she’s kind of misogynistic, so I can’t really get on board with it. Plus, while I’m happy she had her fame with the memes, I never really found them funny… she’s just not my cup of tea.

Naomi Smalls: I love her, she’s SO STUNNING, but I don’t think she’s performing as well as everyone else thinks. I mean, she’s still amazing, but Idk, so far she hasn’t really wowed me. (Except for the one on episode 3, but since it’s going to air next week and I’m a weak ass bitch that watched the leak, I won’t spoil anything)

Latrice Royale: AMAZING, SHOWSTOPPING, PURE ART. She’s so damn professional and talented, I adore her to death. I hope to see her shine more during this competition because I think she’s one of the kindest queens on the show, even though I can only judge her from what I see on tv!

Valentina: I wasn’t really a fan of Valentina on s9, even if I always thought she was stunning - and while I may not be obsessed with her, she’s crazy talented. I still can’t believe that A Prueba De Todo is her song?? Like bitch where did you hide that voice??? I’ve been obsessed with that song since I heard it on the first episode.

Monet X Change: God I love Monet. She’s just so naturally funny and charming, I could listen to her talking all the time. I’m glad she finally won a challenge, she deserves it! I was so sad to see her go on s10. And bitch, that red dress? Yes. Yes 100%. I was living for it.

Manila Luzon: She’s one of those bitches that can slay everything they do, and that even when she fucks up she gets right back in the game even more determined. I admire her so much. A classy, professional lady, and GOD THAT DRESS IN THE LAST EPISODE WILL BE IN MY DREAMS. Honestly she could walk over me and I’d be thankful

Farrah Moan: I wanna protect her. She’s so sweet and kind, and while she may have not performed well on the show, I usually enjoy her performance. Honestly I didn’t think she deserved the bottom 2 in the first episode, I still thought she was stunning and, I mean, as an emotional mess myself, I can relate to crying all the time fgdh

Thank you for the ask anon, I really enjoyed answering!

#asks #anon #dont yell at me bc of my opinions pls #and dont send hate to a queen if u dont like her #just a little reminder since gia is getting so much hate for a fucking tv show

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dreameater1988 · 7 years

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Season 10 - the verdict

If you’re just reading this to pick a fight because your taste differs from mine, then I suggest you don’t read further. However, if you’re up for a civilized discussion and exchanged of opinions, then go ahead :) I’m certainly not one to critize just for the sake of complaining, but I’d like to express my views on the latest season that has let me down.

Season 10 has sort of disappointed me. I truly loved S7-9 and I think S9 with all the emotion and the complex plots and twists and cliffhangers and character depth was the best of New Who, so I already suspected that S10 wouldn’t be quite as good, but it was still a disappointment.

Let me start with Bill’s character. Even though I hated the short clip they showed us a year before the season aired, I came to like Bill. However, I think the writers didn’t do her justice at all. Compared to all the other (especially Moffat) companions her character seemed very flat and not well thought out. This might be because every episode was basically written by a different writer and it felt as if they hadn’t actually sat down together and discussed the episodes. Bill even seemed a bit out of character on occasions. For example, she is sometimes described by Twelve as having a temper, which, to me, only really shows when she shoots the Doctor in The Lie Of The Land without a warning. However, that seemed to come completely out of nowhere to me. There was no reason, no build-up and I refused to believe that Bill would actually shoot her friend on a whim, only to stand by and gawk two minutes later when it turned out he had fooled her the entire time. Where was her temper when she realized it was nothing but a show? Also, do we ever really get a reason as to why she travels with the Doctor at all? Amy ran away with her imaginary friend on her wedding night because she didn’t want to grow up. Clara wanted to see the world and was offered the chance at something even greater. From all three Moffat companions Bill is the only one that seems like a rough draft, not a finished product. I liked Bill, but this is the reason I never really got attached to her. I know that many people complained about it in previous seasons and maybe that’s the reason Moffat did it, but we got so know so much about Amy’s and especially Clara’s life and I realized that I actually really loved that about the show. I liked it when it was Amy Who and Clara Who. I would have loved to know why Bill is serving chips and is not enrolled in the university when she’s such a clever woman and eager student. To me it really felt as if Bill’s character was unfinished and inconsistent and maybe it was supposed to have that effect on viewers, but if that’s it, then I didn’t like it that much.

Which brings me to the topic of plots. I thought that the majority of episodes had real potential. The ideas, the sci-fi, all of that was a really good idea - and it fell short. I think S10 can most easily compared to a puzzle and each writer was in charge of one piece, but they didn’t all fit together in the end. There was a gap here and some overlapping there and it just didn’t create a harmonious whole. I can’t even really pick a favourite episode because there’s something bothering me about every single one of them, but if I had to, I’d pick Oxygen. Why? Because it was the only episode that surprised me. The plot twist of having the Doctor go blind was amazing! And that’s about it. I’ve made a post about this before, but it still bothers me that the majority of episode was very predictable. For example, in Smile we get told the problem and the solution before the opening credits. We see the robots going crazy, we see that the city is made of them. For me, the fun part of watching an episode is to discover things along with the Doctor and companion and it’s even more fun when I have to think about it after the episode ends or rewatch it to fully understand what was going on. I just always thought Moffat was at his best when he used complicated plot twists that took a while to sink in (UTL/BTF) or left it completely open (Listen) and you can disagree on that because it’s a matter of taste. I also loved the plot arcs that spread over several seasons before finally being truly revealed (the crack, the silence). I don’t watch a lot of TV because I get bored very easily when the plot is too predictable and so far I had always thought that DW was one of those shows that could keep me on my toes, but S10 was too see-through for my taste. Especially Smile, Thin Ice, Knock Knock, Extremis and the finale. A week before The Doctor Falls aired I made a post (I don’t know if it was on here or just Instagram and Twitter) saying that I wanted Missy to kill the Master because she’s siding with the Doctor and when I watched exactly that happen on screen I opened my mouth and was about to say “And now the Master needs to kill Missy to close the circle” when that happened as well.

Another matter is the same issue I’ve had with Bill’s character and that is how most of the plots seemed more like drafts than finished productions and were rushed into completion. The best example for that is the Monk Trilogy. Awesome idea, truly awesome idea, but again it fell short. It could have been a wonderful, emotional three parter with loads of sci-fi, action and drama, but it just came out. . . dull. I had been looking forward to The Lie Of The Land a lot because I love a good dystopia setting, but the entire episode was just rushed through and they didn’t get the feeling and emotion across at all. It was just one weird scene after the other felt like I was fast-forwarding through the story.

One thing that I’ve always loved about DW was the emotions it could trigger in me. I’ve cried my eyes out over so many sad and moving scenes that I’ve lost count and that effect doesn’t vanish no matter how often I re-watch it. But the way S10 was rushed didn’t really give me any chance to actually get emotional over anything. I felt detached not just from Bill, but from the Doctor as well. The more the season went on the less I was actually looking forward to new episodes and I’m afraid that process started during THORS. S9 is my favourite and Steven Moffat’s masterpiece Heaven Sent/Hell Bent is just unbeatable in my opinion. Of course it could only go backwards from there, but I had expected a bit more than what we got. I have many things to say about THORS and none of them are good because to me that plotless episode felt like a slap in the face after the marvellous, rich S9 and I’ve never really recovered from that.

I watched S10 for Peter Capaldi and for Michelle Gomez mainly because those two were just as amazing as before, but there have been moments when I wished I could just switch off and walk away. In my opinion, Steven Moffat should have quit after Hell Bent because it makes me sad to think that Peter’s and Michelle’s talents were wasted on such a mediocre season.

Another thing that bothers me a great deal is Bill’s ending and how most people on the internet reacted to it. I was very surprised to see that people loved it. I didn’t. I really didn’t. It doesn’t matter that she became like Heather and travelled the universe in this form, what matters to me is what happened before. I have always found the Cybermen to be the eeriest of DW monsters simply because of the way they are made and to have a companion, a friend of the Doctor, suffer that fate is terrible. Bill’s body was chopped up and thrown away, her consciousness put in a metal body while she was waiting for the Doctor to come and save her. She suffered in her Cyberman form up to the point that she basically asked the Doctor to end her existence before she keeled over and died. That is a good story, but it is NOT a good ending for a young woman like Bill.

This post could be a lot longer because I have more to say about the season, but I think I’ll leave it here. This show has been my favourite since S7 and I will always treasure the seasons that we got up until 10. That is also why I’m definitely going to give the new Doctor a chance - whoever they are - but my excitement for the show has already died during THORS. I might love what comes after Peter, I might not, but I just don��t feel the same love for the show anymore than I’ve felt during S7-9.

#peter capaldi

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fortheloveofpearlet · 7 years

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Prompt: During S9 Sasha and Shea totally having a thing for each other but not knowing how the other feels. But the other queens totally pick up on it and try to push them together. Luv u❤️❤️

Thank you darling!

Send me sentence prompts and drag race pairings and I’ll write you a little drabble!

‘We have to do something about this.’ Nina whispered.'Yeah totally.’ Farrah agreed.'I just don’t get how they can’t see it!’ Peppermint interjected.'We have to make them see how the other feels.’ Alexis spoke up. They all turned to look at Sasha and Shea on the other side of the werk room giggling and chatting to one another. The others had seen it even if they hadn’t. They tried to insist they were just friends but the others saw the way they looked at each other. It was hard not to notice it. Their eyes would always light up when the other was near and they seemed to go off in their own little world when they talked. They touched each other a little more than necessary, always hugging for no apparent reason, touching each other’s arm when they were talking. How Sasha and Shea didn’t see it had the other queens baffled.'I’ll talk to Shea.’ Nina decided.'I’ll talk to Sasha.’ Peppermint spoke up.'And if that doesn’t work?’ Trinity asked them all.'We’ll hatch a plan.’ Valentina smiled.

The next day in the werk room the girls worked on keeping Sasha and Shea separated so Nina and Peppermint could talk to them. It wasn’t easy, the two queens liked to spend time together, a little too much. They finally managed to get them apart and Nina had Shea over by the werk stations while Peppermint kept Sasha busy by her rack of clothes. Peppermint subtly nodded at Nina across the room. Nina gave her a subtle nod in reply.'Gurl can we be real for a minute.’ Nina interrupted Shea who had been talking about some new foundation she’d been using. Shea stopped and put the foundation down.'How real?’ Shea raised her eyebrow.'You and Sasha.’ Nina jumped straight in because she knew they didn’t have a lot of time. Shea forced a frown even though she knew exactly where this was going she didn’t want Nina to know that.'What about me and Sasha?’ She scoffed, turning away from Nina to tidy away her make-up.'You know exactly what gurl.’ Nina watched Shea’s reflection in the mirror and she saw something change on her face but she was quick to try and correct it.'I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.’'You like her!’ Nina couldn’t waste any time here. Shea turned back to Nina and sighed. She looked over Nina’s shoulder to make sure no one else, especially Sasha, were in ear shot.'Am I that obvious?’ Shea but her lip.'Kinda.’ Nina smiled softly at her. 'The rest of us worked it out.’'Oh god do you think Sasha knows?’ Shea panicked a little but Nina was shaking her head.'No I think the two of you are just as oblivious as each other.’'What do you mean?’ Shea frowned. Nina rolled her eyes. How slow are these bitches?'Sasha is totally into you too!’'What? No way.’ Shea turned back to her make-up again.'Yes way.’ Nina put her hand on Shea’s shoulder and turned the other queen back around. 'We’ve all seen the way you two look at each other.’'Sasha doesn’t like me like that.’ Shea shook her head. 'I don’t know what you think you’ve seen, but trust me, she’s not into me.’Nina rolled her eyes again. Slow bitches, how the hell can’t they see it? She hoped Peppermint was having more luck

'This is an intervention.’ Peppermint told Sasha on the other side of the werk room. Sasha frowned at her.'For my raging alcohol problem?’ Sasha teased. 'Oh no you must be talking about my heroin addiction. That thing really has gotten out of control.’ Sasha laughed and turned away from Peppermint, going through her clothes trying to figure out her runway outfit.'You can joke all you want, we both know what I’m talking about.’ Peppermint sassed her. Sasha focused on her clothes. Of course she knew what Peppermint was talking about. She wasn’t going to admit as much so easily though.'I honestly don’t have a clue.’ Sasha pulled out one of her dresses and inspected it. She held it up to her body and contemplated it. Peppermint grumbled something under her breath and snatched the dress from Sasha’s hands, putting it aside.'Yes you do.’ Peppermint raised her eyebrow at the younger queen. 'She’s tall, dark skinned, leggy and goes by the name of Shea Couleé.’ Peppermint folded her arms. She saw something flicker in Sasha’s eyes at the mention of Shea.'What about her?’ Sasha was a terrible liar, she always had been. She knew Peppermint saw right through her.'You two need just fuck and be done with it.’ Peppermint’s words almost made Sasha choke on the air in her lungs.'What?’'I’m not beating around the bush here gurl. We’ve all seen the two of you making googly eyes at each other. Clearly you want to fuck her and she clearly wants to fuck you.’'I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Sasha turned away from Peppermint because she could feel the blush spreading to her cheeks and she didn’t want the other queen to see. She had though.'Would you stop that a second.’ Peppermint pulled Sasha away from her clothes. 'Do you or do you not have a crush on Shea?’'Not.’ Sasha pulled a face as though she was disgusted by the mere thought.'You are so transparent.’ Peppermint rolled her eyes. 'Do you actually think you’re a good liar?’Sasha bit her lip.'Even if I did like her,’ she sighed. 'And that’s a big if. If I did like her, she doesn’t feel the same anyway so it doesn’t matter.’'Oh good god gurl are you really that blind?’ Peppermint clucked. 'Shea never stops eyeing you up. If she was a dog she’d be humping your leg.’'As if.’ Sasha rolled her eyes.'I’m not the only one that’s seen it Sasha. All the girls know you two are into each other.’'You’re wrong.’ Sasha shook her head and turned her back on Peppermint again, signalling the conversation was over. Peppermint sighed and looked over at Nina who was now stood back with the other girls in the middle of the werk room. Nina shrugged at her making Peppermint sigh again. She made her way over to the other queens.'Don’t worry.’ Valentina smiled brightly at Peppermint. 'I have a plan.’

A few days later when they were in the untucked lounge while the judges deliberated, Valentina made eye contact with Peppermint. The two queens nodded subtly at each other, Sasha and Shea were in the midst of a conversation and didn’t notice anything. Valentina stood up.'I need to use the bathroom.’ She spoke quietly so Sasha and Shea might have heard her but probably didn’t.'I’ll join you gurl.’ Peppermint stood up too and the two of them left the room.'I need a smoke.’ Farrah stood up soon after, speaking quietly like Valentina had.'Me too.’ Nina and Trinity followed suit.'I’m pretty sure I’m lip syncing, I’m going to come with you and listen to my iPod.’ Alexis followed them. They turned back to look at Sasha and Shea from the doorway. The two girls were chatting away to each other still, clearly not even noticing the rest of them had left.'And now we wait.’ Alexis smiled as they all fled the lounge.

'I can’t wait to show you around Chicago. I can’t believe you’ve never been.’ Shea touched Sasha’s shoulder.'Even if I had, I’m sure a Shea Couleé tour is not to be missed.’ Sasha smiled a little shyly at her.'Oh it isn’t.’ Shea’s eyes sparkled. Her eyes were locked on Sasha’s but as they fell into silence she suddenly realised how quiet the lounge was. She tore her eyes away from Sasha’s and looked around. 'Where the hell is everyone?’Sasha turned around and looked to see they were alone.'Have they gone back to the mainstage without us?’ Sasha frowned. She turned back to Shea who was smiling at her.'I don’t mind.’ Shea smiled at her but her smile was a little shy. 'While we’re alone…can I talk to you about something?’'Of course.’ Sasha’s heart skipped a beat. What does she want to talk about?'So uhm…this is gonna sound so dumb.’ Shea shook her head. 'You’re going to laugh really.’'What is it?’'Nina…she uhm…she thinks we like each other.’ Shea started to laugh but it was a forced laugh. Sasha felt herself blushing.'So does Peppermint. And according to her, the other girls think we do too.’ The two queens stared at each other for a little while feeling extremely embarrassed. The other queens were hidden behind the door to the lounge.'They’re talking about it!’ Farrah whispered excitedly.'Shush!’ Alexis scalded her.Back in the lounge the two queens were still awkwardly looking at each other.'Are they crazy?’ Shea asked Sasha softly, biting her lip. Sasha bit her lip too.'I don’t know.’Shea ran her fingers through her wig gently.'At the risk of making things super awkward here…’ she trailed off with a large exhale. 'I uhm…I do like you.’ Shea felt herself blushing but she hoped it wasn’t noticeable through her layers of make-up. Sasha also felt herself blushing. She looked away from Shea but Shea was quick to cup her chin and guide her face to look at her again. 'You feel it too right?’ Sasha’s blush deepened. She found herself nodding. Shea breathed a sigh of relief.'Oh thank god.’ Shea laughed a little. 'That could have been really awkward.’ And not knowing they were being watched, Shea cupped Sasha’s face a kissed her.'Ohmygod!’ Farrah screeched and all the queens practically fell through the door back into the room. Sasha and Shea leapt apart and looked at their audience.'I knew they just needed a gentle push.’ Alexis laughed smugly.'We’re match makers!’ Valentina swooned. Shea and Sasha were both bright red now.'Don’t stop on our account.’ Trinity laughed.'We want to see our hard work paying off.’ Peppermint added. Sasha and Shea looked at each other, their lipsticks smudged on each other’s lips.'We’re not going to kiss just so you guys can watch. Perverts.’ Shea chuckled, taking hold of Sasha’s hand.'Total perverts.’ Sasha agreed. The other queens looked at each other briefly, clearly all thinking the same thing. They turned back to Shea and Sasha and all at once they started chanting, 'Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’Sasha and Shea looked at each other again, cheeks still red but they were laughing now. Shea squeezed Sasha’s hand.'I suppose we kinda owe them.’ Shea shrugged. Sasha rolled her eyes.'I still think they’re perverts but you’re probably right.’ Sasha smiled softly. Shea grinned and pulled Sasha close by her hand and their lips met again. Their audience erupted into cheers and Sasha and Shea laughed a little into the kiss. When they pulled back all the other queens were staring at them.'Urgh seriously guys, this is creepy now.’ Shea pulled a face.'We’re just so happy for you guys!’ Farrah screech a little.'Took them long enough.’ Nina clucked.'It probably wouldn’t have happened at all if it wasn’t for us.’ Alexis gave them that smug look again.'Yeah yeah alright guys.’ Shea rolled her eyes. 'We’re grateful and all, but that’s the last time we let you watch us make out.’'But you’re going to do it again?’ Valentina beamed. Shea looked back at Sasha and squeezed her hand again.'What do you reckon? Do you think they’ll be more where there came from?’Sasha mused for a second, deliberately leaving Shea hanging.'Hmmm….’ she pretended to think about it. 'I suppose, if you play your cards right Miss Couleé.’ Sasha smirked at her. Shea laughed and squeezed her hand once more.'I’ll play my cards any which way you want them Miss Velour.’ Shea winked at her and Sasha had no idea how she made that sentence sound sexual but she felt a stirring in her groin. She felt herself blushing again and Shea pulled her close and wrapped her arms around her.'Awww!’ Farrah screeched again. 'We rock!’ She jumped up and down.'We really do.’ Nina grinned.'They’re never going to let us forget this was their doing are they?’ Sasha spoke quietly into Shea’s shoulder.'No way.’ Shea laughed.'Someone had to push you two idiots together.’ Peppermint spoke up.'Yeah, you weren’t going to figure your shit out without us.’ Trinity added. Sasha and Shea both laughed as Shea tightened her hold on Sasha. Maybe all they’d needed was a gentle nudge in the right direction. They would be forever grateful to their fellow queens for helping them get together. Maybe one day they’d tell them that. Maybe one day they’d tell each other exactly what they meant to each other. But for now, they were happy knowing they’d taken the first step toward their future.

#sashea #sashea drabble #sasha velour #shea coulee

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