#listen i know im not the best when it comes to commitment but. give me a chance. in the name of my url.

[pinchan]

daily gojoken until one of them dies: day 1

eid mubarak!!

[81folklore]

dress - VETTEL

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise

authors note: i have had this idea on my mind for SO LONG so im very pleased to finally be writing it. essentially in this, yn is taylor and seb is joe but no one has ever seen him nor know his name, if that makes sense? honestly i have no clue how this will turn out but i needed to write it

authors note 2: this is set in the midnights era however i switched the songs a bit so ‘dress’ is on midnights instead of ‘sweet nothing’ and vice versa!! also ‘dress’ is going to be a single. i also apologize for how all over the place this is, especially the tweets

authors note 3: just pretend whatever says taylor swift says your name and the photos with her hands have a wedding ring!! i also got so confused when trying to screenshot the twitter stuff so the timeline ones are backwards

authors note 4??: haha didnt realise there was a 30 pic limit... pt 2 here :)

masterlist

ynupdates

liked by user3, user18 and 10,628 others

yn on her story today, possibly posting song lyrics! thoughts?

view comments

user3: NEW ERA INCOMING

user18: OH I AM SO READY FOR THIS

user13: NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

user66: is this hinting at her reputation era?

user13: i was just thinking this, more specifically the time just before reputation

user72: MUSIC ABOUT LOVER?? OH I AM SO HERE FOR IT

user55: if it is about lover and the time before reputation this will BREAK ME like,, HE SAW THE BEST IN HER EVEN IN HER WORST TIMES😭😭

yourusername

liked by gracieabrams, ynupdates, olliebearman and 7,277,739 others

everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about…

this album has been such a rewarding piece to create and im so glad that soon enough you will all be able to listen and enjoy it with me! one thing i love in particular about this album is the song ‘dress’

dress was originally a piece i started to write when making reputation however i felt it was right to keep it to myself, to keep it between my partner and i for a little while longer. however recently our lives have been changing for the better, and while that lid of privacy will still be on, i want to share more with you guys

you have all been on this journey with me and you have treated my partner and i with the upmost respect and for that i thank you. for me dress is a letter, its statement, its a declaration of my love for him and im very grateful to be able to give this to you all

this song is one im very proud of, i really enjoyed writing this the first time, and getting to revist and polish it up felt very special to do.

dress out now on all platforms🖤

comments on this post have been limited

sebupdates

liked by user34, user5, user88 and 23,683 others

seb in suzuka with the grid at his turn 2 bee (insect) hotels,, we've missed seeing him at the track :(

view comments

user3: of course the grid come together for him :’)

user5: im not crying!! just hay fever!!

user5: oh i have missed him SO MUCH

user7: NO BECAUSE YOU DONT GET IT HES BACK

user88: DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VIDEO OF HIM HUGGING CHARLES😭😭

user34: the way he was like a teacher throughout the whole thing😭

user18: does anyone know if hes staying the whole weekend or is it like monaco??

sebupdates: we believe hes staying the whole weekend but unsure if hes with a team or not!

user18: ok thank you :)

user77: the way the first thing lewis asked him was if his wife was okay, oh what if i cry😭😭

user66: im kind of new here, have the grid met sebs wife?

user77: i know they all at least know about her and know who she is, i dont think everyone has met her but i know lewis has met her quite a bit!!

part 2!

[infamous-if]

Happy 1 year anniversary to this blog!

It was yesterday...though I do find it fitting that I've been focused on writing so much that I forgot lmao

When I first had the idea for Infamous, I didn't work on it right away. The concept was cool, yeah, but was it enough for interactive fiction? A medium I never even tried before?

I let it marinate in my head for a while wondering if it would be a good story or not. I listened to a lot of music, made a lot of idea boards and outlined routes but told myself I wasn't actually writing it. Just playing in a new literary sandbox with no strings! I was very close to not publishing my idea because it felt like it wasn't a story that I could handle. And it was daunting. I've published stories before, but they were completed novels that I could just forget about it and move on from once I was done. This was a commitment! I kept asking myself if I was even a good enough writer for the plans I had haha

But it didn't stop bothering me and I was getting irritable over my own brain creating this whole world without my permission. So I posted the intro post on a whim just to see what would happen! Turns out, I'm really happy I did!

One year later and there's been a whole community of people who have enriched the story and elevated it to a place that I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. The amazing fanfics, the head canons, fan art and the suggestions, it's been really nice to work on this with the support and encouragement I've gotten. I think the best parts of the story so far have come from the collective, not me, and knowing that there are people who watched me serve my ideas on a platter like "here. take it pls." and accepted it is really nice. I'm grateful :)

thank you guys for reading the story and being kind to me and my ideas and having so many discussions over these characters that were once just in my mind, alone with me to tend to them. and to the if authors who have been here much longer, thank you for welcoming me with open arms. thank you to the group of if authors in particular who took me under their wing and gave me advice on how to handle things and how to move forward. you didn't have to come into my dm's and give me guidance or help me, but you did anyway and im eternally grateful!

I'm excited for 2024 to be the year that we really dive into the story. I still can't believe we're only 2 chapters in. it feels much longer, doesn't it? lololol

thanks!! <3

[princessoflalaland]

I kid u fucking not, im genuinely tweaking thinking about the jjk men, specifically nanami and toji. the complete polarity between them drives me insane.

nanami would treat you like a complete and utter queen. craving something only available across town? he's already in the car the seconds the words leave your pretty little lips. period causing your day to be less than perfect? heat pads, comfort foods, blankets, candy- anything you need will be at your disposable. he's a good listener, affectionate, doting, understanding, mature, he is a MAN.

and do not let him know about your sexual needs. mans will (responsibly) drop whatever he's doing to come satisfy you. put that pussy on his nose, let his tongue trace the insides of your tight, gummy walls, he loves it more than you do. let him drill into that pussy until you're both on the brink of passing out with you mewling his name, how good he is, how deep he gets, how much you love his dick, he loves it wayyyy more than you do. ride him to your heart's content, sloppy licking and kissing into his mouth because you know why: he loves it more than you do. he'll make love to you every night if you'll let him, and I have an inclination you would. I mean, who'd wanna miss out on the sweet vulgarities he'd purr in your ear while he rearranges your guts?

"my pretty girl, takin' me so well." he'd huff into your ear. your legs splayed out near your torso as he has you in your all time favorite position: the wonderful mating press. "ah, God," nanami hissed, face pinching with overwhelming pleasure. "you're squeezing me, baby..gonna make me cum.." he'd lift his head where it was tucked away in the crook of your sweat-slicked neck, staring into your very soul with a dangerous mix of adoration and hunger. "want me to cum inside you, love? pump this pretty pussy f-full of my cum?"

You became his world and whatever his woman wants, she gets, no questions, no debate.

Toji, ohhhhhhhhhh TOji toji toji. He's my guilty pleausre, I swear to you. I've committed my heart, soul, and body, to nanami, I've claimed him as my jjk husband, BUT toji truly is my forbidden fruit. I have to fight actual demons not to imagine him pounding into me from behind, the side, upside down, up into me- in any way shape and form simply because feel like im being disloyal to Nanami :(

(mind you these are fictional men created by a Japanese sadist name Akutami Gege, I need to be committed to a mental institution at this rate)

AHEM, anyway, Toji is a blunt lover, and here's what I mean: (in my head) he may not be the best at communication or very good with his feelings, but he'll do his damndest to be upfront with you. he'll try his best to do what he thinks is best for y'alls relationship and with your help, he gets better at voicing how he feels. idgaf what you gotta say, he. will. spoil. you. yes, keeping money isn't something he's always been good at, BUT that all changed when he got with you. Mans made an entire savings account just for you. his money is your money basically; whatever you want is yours, no questions asked. he'd be your ride or die. no one gets to you without getting through that sexy, delicious, mountain of a man. he'll damned if he lets anyone even think about disrespecting his lady. he'll gladly rearrange their face, maybe even end their bloodline, if they're dumb enough to try. toji is...idk the hood nigga of jjk if u ask me, and if you think really hard, that's headcanon enough.

its one of the undisputed facts of the world that toji has that dawg in him. he will, happily, gladly, proudly, rearrange your insides, then give them a fresh paint job with his cum. he'd talk that nasty shit in your ear too while he's pounding you from behind.

"ohh, this pussy so good f'me, ma. so wet, so fuckin' tight....g'nna fuck 'er nice 'n good, maybe leave a baby in 'er too.” he'd growl, his tip bullying your g-spot at a punishing pace. "you'd like that, wouldn't ya?" he'd pull you back by your hair, keeping your back flush against his broad chest while his rough hand traveled down your navel so his thick fingers could torture your clit. "want a baby fucked into yer tight, nasty pussy. ohh im gonna fill you up baby. fill this perfect, fuckin' pussy..."

the forbidden fruit is toji fushiguro, you cannot change my mind.

this was mindless nanami and toji drabble because I need them, istg im tweaking bc maybe they aren’t so different…

[anna-the-undertaker]

Im playing with an incorrect quote generator and I'm sharing them here. They are cracking me tf up.

Belphie: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to MC and not do the thing, Belphie: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Belphie: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

Satan: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- MC: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Satan: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Lucifer, recording: This is so cute.

Beel: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP- Belphie: …Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE?? Beel: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

Barbatos: Look, Satan, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.

MC: Yes, I'm adopting Satan and you cowards can't tell me no!

Lucifer: *running towards Beel with open arms* Beel: *moves out of the way* Lucifer: Hey, why'd you move?! Beel: I thought you were going to attack me. Lucifer: I was going to hug you! Beel: Why would you hug me? Lucifer: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Levi: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Barbatos: So you're just gonna wait until MC is in danger and save them? Levi: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Barbatos: … Barbatos: You're insane.

MC: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. Belphie: We’re not friends. MC, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Lucifer: You’re starting to look like me more and more every day— Satan: *Bursts into tears* Lucifer: Why are you crying? Satan: You’re ugly! I don’t want to look like you! *sobs*

*Satan and Mammon are texting* Satan: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone. Mammon: What did they change my name to? Satan: Chosen One. Mammon: Don’t change it back. Satan: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! Mammon: I’m the chosen one.

Mammon: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Belphie: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you it’d ruin the mystery.

Asmo: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Mammon: What happened to your nose? Satan: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Mammon: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? MC: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Mammon: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Mammon: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Asmo: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

Mammon: look Levi, I'm not slut shaming you but… Mammon: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

Lucifer: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. Mammon: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

Satan: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

MC: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!! Mammon: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying MC's* hey besties !!1! MC: I literally hate you so much.

Satan: What's this? MC, hugging Satan: Affection! Satan: Disgusting. Satan: …Do it again.

Lucifer: I am going to need you to swear- Diavolo: Fuck. Lucifer: Lucifer: …swear as in promise.

Mammon: Pardon me, but it sounds like you’re questioning my authority! Lucifer: Not at all, Mammon. Merely your primitive methods.

MC: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

Levi: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! Beel: Apparently, we're not.

Mammon: *Reading a letter* Satan: Well, what does it say? Mammon: It’s a confession letter. It turns out MC killed my pet rock.

Diavolo: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

MC: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Diavolo and Lucifer's convo? Asmo: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Belphie: I'm in the washing machine. Barbatos: I'm in the closet. Asmo: We accept you Barbatos. <3 Barbatos: No I'm literally in the closet. Asmo: Love is love. <3

Belphie (brainstorming ideas for pranking Lucifer): How much would a serial killer mask possibly cost? MC: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. Belphie: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? MC: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Belphie.

Diavolo: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Satan: Well then whose is it? Diavolo, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

MC: What’s something you guys are better than Lucifer at? Mammon: Mario Kart. Satan: Yeah, video games. Levi: Emotional vulnerability.

Mammon: Can we talk about that mass email you sent? MC: Why? It was important. Mammon: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit". Diavolo, shrugging: The people need to know.

Mammon: Can you pass the salt? Asmo: Can you pass away? Mammon: Too much salt.

*talking on the phone* Mammon: Remember how I said that MC and I were gonna have a calm night out for once? Lucifer: Yeah… Mammon: Well, we’re in jail. Lucifer: *hangs up*

MC: Go to hell! Lucifer: Where do you think I come from?

MC: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Satan: We need a distraction. Lucifer: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Diavolo, whispering: My time has come.

Mammon: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated. Lucifer: You once said that about an orange. Mammon: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.

Diavolo: Mammon and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Asmo: What did you do? Diavolo: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Mammon: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

[maopll]

Can I please request the Heartslabyul boys reacting to you ‘forgetting’ to give them a good morning kiss?

Where's my kiss ?

| twisted wonderland !

⌗:, a/n: good morning kisses are a no from me if I'm not in the mood. ain't nobody wanna give someone a stinky ass kiss 😭 but I'll do it for the sake of this fanfic <3

⌗:, warning: fluff

⌗:, pairings: ace, deuce, trey, riddle, cater w/ gn!reader

ACE TRAPPOLA

You always give him a goodnight, good morning and a goodbye kiss. you've never forgotten to kiss him. if there are days when you haven't kissed him he will demand them no matter what the situation and you have to listen to him whims.

today you had other plans. what if you don't kiss him? you couldn't resist yourself after seeing other people do it too.

so here you are getting out of bed sneakily after not giving him a kiss. you went with your daily chores after you saw a dishelved ace telling you "Where's my kiss? :("

he looked like a three year old after having their candy stolen. you were trying your best not to laugh at his state but he caught onto your lips curling up.

how DARE YOU

he made it a point to you to always kiss him so why were you depriving him of his sole way of getting his daily dose of serotonin?

he annoyed you to have you kiss him and ofcourse you obliged! you just can't miss the feeling of his soft cheeks against your lips as you smother his face with kisses.

DEUCE SPADE

he is such a sweet boyfriend that he actually got really hesitant to ask you why you did not kiss him good morning. he thought maybe you were angry at him for whatever he has done and he got really tensed because he couldn't remember what he did to annoy you enough to not even kiss him :(

he slowly hugged you from behind and started apologising like crazy and he even said "love I'm sorry for what I've done I really am but please don't hate me too much to not even kiss me"

deuce may put up a good behaviour infront of others showing how perfect he can be but his behaviour of being like that absolutely melts in your arms when you kiss him. he is very different from how he shows himself to be in front of the public eye.

you weren't answering because you were trying your best to hold in your laughter but he caught on the way your shoulders were shaking and you definitely were not crying because he knows your acts and behaviourisms like the back of his hand

he is so mad at you now for trying to prank him like that

"I can't believe you [name] I'm going"

"WAIT COME BACK BABY IM SORRY"

He didn't reject your kisses and daily dose of affection.

TREY CLOVER

he is not thinking that much about how you 'forgot' to give him his morning kiss after waking up in his arms after cuddling so much with him last night

he knew it was another one of your shenanigans so he wasn't quote bothered by it until he has had enough

your kisses are like a lucky charm to him even if they may have some kind of placebo effect on him he still believes it's your kisses that makes him have a good day.

at the end of the day he returned with most of his energy exhausted because he had a pretty bad day because of you forgot to give him something.

"baby I know what you are trying to do...please kiss me I can't do it anymore"

you kisses him on his forehead, cheeks, eyelids, and lips and he wants more now.

you two shared kisses and cuddles for an hour until he has had his fill.

poor baby held whatever piece of patience he had throughout the day until he got to you.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

he wakes up with your morning kisses but today he woke up a bit late because you did not kiss him

he was so agitated because he was getting late for his class by 2 minutes !!

how could you do this to him !

off with your head /j

he was genuinely offended and annoyed because you did not give him his energy boost for the day

he flipped at whoever crossed his way because you just committed a big crime

ace and deuce were scared of him getting so angry so they brought you infront of him to take matters into your own hands and they were too afraid of doing something that might make him render them immobile or something.

they left the school ground to leave you two alone to do your bidding...more like get his emotions checked

a kiss on the cheek was enough to turn his full face blushing red like the tart he was eating.

he coughed and said blush still evident on his face "I will accept this kiss as a form of your apology towards the behaviour showed me today...don't do it again [name]...please"

you heard most of what he said but that "please" was so soft cause he mumbled it but you caught onto what he said.

with a cheeky grin you continued painting his face with kisses

ace and deuce heaved a sigh of relief as their dorm leader finally isn't angry anymore

CATER DIAMOND

I definitely did not forget about cater

Usually you two have a kiss fight(?) in the morning. the first one who wakes the other one up with kisses has to have the other give them kisses for the whole day including cuddles and a whole lot of affection

usually you would win but today you were feeling devious so you got out of bed without kissing him. he was a bit awake but his eyes bust open when you cooly opened the door and went your merry way

he sat up straight and grabbed his phone ready to cancel you out on social media

how could you do this to him

so he pestered you throughout the day

he told you and practically gave you a presentation on WHY you should kiss him

you were soon growing tired

you wanted to prank him but looks like it's an uno reverse moment now

you finally gave in and kissed him which shut his yapping.

he was silent for a while but he soon recovered and returned your kiss

[tinycherry0]

hellooooo um so i saw your requests are open and i was wondering if you’d write some fluffy madness where reader tries their best to comfort rhea after she had to vacate the women’s championship title?

you can take the concept and do what you want with it but im just begging for rhea fluff bc theres an agonizingly low amount of rhea fics as it is 🥺🙏🏼

On Top Again

Angst, fluff, fluff ending, No use of Y/N, gender neutral reader. That’s pretty much it I think

(Sorry if it’s a little short!! But I tried my best, I hope you like it!! <3)

That week, Rhea was very to herself, which was unlike her and you had no clue why. You tried cheering her up with little surprises and affection, and while it put a smile on her face it never lasted long.

You figured she needed space; Rhea wasn’t the strongest communicator when it came to her feelings. You were aware of that. You knew if something was bothering her terribly, she’d come to you.

Now you knew what kept her spirts down that week when you watched Monday Night Raw, you stared at the screen with a sad, pitiful look. That championship was proof of her commitment, hard work, and her literal blood, sweat, and tears. It was her whole life encased in a shiny golden belt she wore with pride; and that night it was almost as if it was stripped from her over an injury. You could only imagine her pain in that moment.

When she got home the next day around noon, she seemed almost defeated. You knew she put up a strong front for work, but now she didn’t seem too sure of her abilities.

You slowly walked towards her while she was crouched, giving Barry and Luna some much needed affection. She wore a baggy band shirt paired with her signature sweatpants, suitcase still at the door.

“Hey, love. I seen what happened last night..do you feel like talking about it?..”

Rhea sighed, getting up and giving you a deep hug which you returned immediately. She finally spoke up after a few moments in your embrace.

“..I’m sorry I’ve been distant..and not talking to you as much as I should. I just got the news before Raw..I felt like I needed to process it on my own before going up on stage and announcing it in front of everyone. I knew you were worried about me, and I’m sorry..”

You looked up at Rhea, cupping her face in your hands before speaking gently.

“I know you process emotions differently Rhea, and that’s okay. I understand…and I’m sorry you lost your championship. It meant a lot to you.”

Rhea gives you a pity half-smile, looking to the side.

“It did..it still does. I worked my ass off for that championship only for it to get stripped away from me. I don’t even know what I’m going to have to do to get it back.”

You heard the frustration in her voice, quickly replying to try and ease her nerves.

“Hey, hey..baby, I know you’ll get it back. If anyone is worthy of that title it’s you. It took an injury to take your title away from you, not anyone else’s willpower. That sounds pretty badass if you ask me.”

Rhea cracked a small smile, looking at you with a glimpse of hope in her eyes as you continued speaking.

“I know that championship meant the world to you. I’m sorry.” You gave Rhea a sympathetic look, putting a strand of hair that was in her face behind her ear.

“It was my whole life, but you are too. You’re my number one motivator and I’m so glad that you believe in me.”

You smiled at Rhea, tears in your eyes from the swell of emotions you felt from what she just told you.

“It’s going to take a lot more than one little injury to stop thee Rhea Ripley. Even if I also advise you stay home, you most likely wouldn’t have listened.” Rhea chuckled a little bit, showing you a genuine smile for the first time in a while.

You gave Rhea a kiss on the cheek as she kept on giggling; she draped her arms around your waist in return.

“You’re going to be on top again, Rhea, I know you will. You always are.”

[automaticllamacycle]

May Jesus forgive me for what I’m about to say.

Making matty jealous at an industry party until he spanks you and fucks you so hard afterwards

I am going to be combining this ask with this one that I got because they will fit will together hehe : literally matty just fucking you RELENTLESSLY like that man is not stopping until your actually crying like tears are flowing down your face

Disclaimers: reader is quite drunk during the sex, but I'm acting like this is in the dom/sub au I (kinda) have going on so they are in a very committed relationship and have discussed situations like this before! Anyways now onto the horny thoughts (even though im writing this more like a traditional fic)

this ended up being like 1.5k words. It is now 2am so it is NOT proof read, like not even a once over I am SLEEPY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

industry parties are the worst. You despise them. Its all the same every time. You would show up with Matty, have a few drinks of alcohol, and hang by Matty's side while he talked with people from the label. It got old really fast in all honesty.

Tonight you just wanted his attention more than anything, and you are determined to have it by the end of the night. You arrive to the party on his arm and the same old pattern begins as he's dragged away by Jamie to go talk to someone. Without Matty at your side, you excuse yourself to the open bar. One drink turns into two, which turns into three before you even realize it.

You planned this out beforehand. You thought to yourself, maybe if you got a bit drunk and needy, you could convince Matty to take you home early. After drink number three you walk over to Matty, and lean to whisper in his ear. "Baby, can we go home? I'm tired of this."

Matty can tell you're a bit tipsy from your mumbled speech. "Sweetheart, this stuff is important I can't just leave because you want to leave."

"But Matty-" you start, putting on pleading doe eyes. He cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

"I said no. Now, go on, it shouldn't be too much longer, anyway. You can be patient."

So, you found yourself back at the bar, with another drink. You've had too much, but you don't really care. Too pissed at Matty to really give a shit.

After another hour passes you stumble back over to Matty. The liquid courage must be working because you don't even care about the fact he's talking to people. You nearly crash into his side when you reach him. "Matty! Can we go now?" He shoots you a glare instantly before turning back towards the two men he was speaking with.

"Sorry guys, this is my girlfriend Y/N. Please, continue on with what you were saying!" Matty's hand is around your waist in a bruising grip. His lips quickly come up to your ear to speak in a dark tone. "Behave."

You do behave... for a total of five minutes, then you get needy again. You start small, leaning into his side and placing your arm on his chest. The alcohol dulls your rational thinking enough that you have no shame in your next actions, reaching up to kiss him on the neck. Matty laughs off the kiss, not so much as turning his gaze to you, continuing to listen to the men speaking to him. His grip on your waist tightens. He's starting to get mad.

You don't stop. Your hand paws at his chest while you balance on your tip toes to whisper in his ear. "Please, sir. I need you-"

Matty steps away fast, not letting you connect your lips to his neck again. "Haha- sorry lads I think it's time I take her back home. Jamie is right over there and would be happy to answer any other questions you two might have." And with that Matty's hand firmly grips your wrist and pulls your behind him, out the door, and to his car.

Once your on the road, he finally speaks after giving you the silent treatment. "What the fuck was that? Were you trying to embarrass me? You know it's important that I talk to people like that at these things."

"I'm sorry- I just wanted your attention."

"And you thought the best way to do that was to beg me to fuck you in front of those guys?"

"I whispered it!"

"Whispered? You call that a whisper? I'm almost certain they heard you. How much have you had to drink tonight."

"Uhm... I lost count."

"No shit."

The rest of the car ride was filled with silence. When you arrive at his place, he doesn't even go around to open your car door, instead heading straight to the front door of his house. Once your both inside, he sits down on the couch. He's angry. Really fucking angry.

"Bend over my knee. Right now." You don't dare disobey him. That would only increase your punishment. You lean your body over his legs, giving him access to your ass. Matty flips up your dress to reveal your lace underwear that is already soaked through.

"I'm sorry sir- I- I promise I didn't mean to embarrass you. Just wanted you so bad." You flinch when his hand strikes your ass.

"Fucking slut. Just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean you avoid getting punished." You gasp as his hand comes down again, just as hard as the first strike. "Besides." His hand spanks you again. "You knew what you were doing when you decided to order all those drinks didn't you?" His hand hits you again, showing no mercy. "Needed some courage before you could be such a whore in public, huh?"

"Yes- yes sir- I knew what I was doing. I'm sorry." Matty's satisfied with your answer, but that doesn't stop the onslaught of his hands. You'll be bruised for at least a week. He wants you to remember this every time you sit down. He wants you to remember and learn from the punishment.

By the end of it, you're sobbing. The strikes were becoming too much, and you needed him to touch you. "Matty- p-please I- I need you, please."

"Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yes, sir. I'll never do it again. I promise." you say through choked sobs. Without warning Matty carries you to the bedroom and throws you onto the bed before he starts taking off his clothes. He's hard through his boxers, which are soaked with precum. You follow suit and take off your dress, wincing as you take the lace of your underwear off of your ass.

Matty's on top of you the next second, his cock at the entrance of where you need him most. "You know, I shouldn't even give you my cock. Only good girls deserved to get fucked."

"No! no no no! Please. I need you, I need you so bad." Tears flow down your cheeks.

Matty enters you suddenly, filling you to the hilt. He gives you no time to adjust to his size as he begins pounding into you. "Fine. I'll give you my cock." He groans out. "But I'm going at my fucking pace and you're going to take it."

His hips move rapidly, thrusting into you hard. All you can do is wrap your legs around his waist and dig your nails into his back. The moans that leave your mouth are desperate. Your cries fill the room, along with the sounds of skin meeting skin. Matty's pace is near animalistic.

Matty flips your over so you're on your stomach. You don't have the strength to hold yourself up, completely pliant on the bed. "Poor thing can't hold herself up? Thought you wanted me to fuck you?" he groans, continuing his fierce pace. The new position allows him to go even deeper into your cunt. It's all becoming too much.

"Matty-" you cry. "It's too much- I can't"

"Take it. Be my good girl and take my cock. You were fucking made for me." One of his arms wraps around your waist, pulling your up so your back is up against his chest. He uses his other hand to hold onto the headboard of the bed, steadying himself so he can thrust into you even faster.

"Matty- shit I can feel you in my stomach- fuck-" At your words, his hand shifts lower on your waist, pressing over where his cock bulges in your stomach.

"Yeah? You feel that?" He presses down harder, making a whine leave your throat. "Only I can do this to you. Your cunt is made for my cock." You moan out in agreement, drawing closer and closer to orgasm, and Matty is getting close too. "You gonna come for me? Gonna milk my cock?"

"Yes- yes sir- please."

"Go on then come for me." When he speeds up the pace of his hips, you're a goner, falling into the waves of an orgasm. The pleasure overwhelms you, pulsing through your veins. You cry out his name over and over again as he fucks you though it.

Matty is not far behind. It only takes a few more thrusts before he cums inside of you, filling you up deep inside. As soon as he's finished, he practically collapses on top of you. He takes the time to trail kisses on the back of your neck as you catch your breath and come back down to earth.

"You did good for me, baby. Did you learn your lesson?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's my girl. Let me take care of you now."

[kyeranmari]

The Emperor Incarnated | SVT Destiny Matrix | Jeonghan

hello, this is kyeranmari ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

welcome to the first installment of my seventeen destiny matrix readings!

since this is a special time, i'd like to start by reading into the destiny matrix chart of my ult bias: jeonghan ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

in particular, i'd like to explore his central arcana.

for those who aren't familiar, the central arcana is basically the energy that lives in your core. similar to your sun sign in astrology, this is the energy that sort of...summarizes all the other aspects & energies you can find in your chart. this is who you are in your most comfortable state.

jeonghan's central arcana is symbolized by the number 4. this is the energy of the emperor.

often associated with "authority, leadership, control, and structure", the emperor is regarded as one of the most powerful energies in all of tarot and numerology. having this in any aspect of your destiny matrix chart calls you to take lead, be dutiful, be in control, and/or be organized. in addition, this also signifies that you have a natural talent for resolving problems, guiding people, making salient decisions, and establishing solid foundations.

and we've seen evidences of these in jeonghan's life and his relationship with seventeen.

one that sticks out to me is, in the first episode of game caterers x seventeen, it was revealed that jeonghan had a very vital role in the group. he was the boys' main confidant and counselor.

he claims that he does this because he doesn't do much in the team (which i absolutely 100% disagree with), and so he took the role of listening and guiding them through their woes.

anyone who has been in this position had once or has constantly wondered why people come to them with the trust that they have the right answers for their problems. and more often than not, they fail to recognize that it is because of their natural gift of wisdom that draws people in.

although i don't know how their exchanges go in particular, as someone with the empress at their core, i could infer that the themes and language of the wisdom they seek from jeonghan is more objective and structural (unlike that of the empress' affective and spiritual approach). despite na pd characterizing jeonghan's role as "motherly", i'd like to argue that jeonghan's approach might be more of a "dad's way" of looking at the world. i am in no way claiming that this approach is unemotional. rather, it's probably more focused on "what are you gonna do about it?" than "how are you feeling about it?"

people with the emperor at the center are generally caring people. they make taking care of the things they love their duty and responsibility. you can expect them to be committed to giving love and affection.

and we could see jeonghan embody this trait through his most recent series called haniwajjong, a special spin to i-goya (his svt rec series) consisting of all the vlogs he filmed starting from september of 2023. according to him, he did this so that carats could have something to watch while he's in the period of military service.

i would be lying if i say i don't find this so touching, that it almost brings me to tears. as a jjongjjongiefan, i couldn't help but miss him a heck ton, even though i used to say that i won't be emotional about it. but alas, and behold! my ult bias is dedicated to caring about his fans. he didn't have to do this. no one asked for it. but he did it out of his own volition.

he found a way to resolve the dilemma between his civic duties and his deemed responsibility as an idol. this, to me, is how he embodies the energy of the emperor the most. im trying not to cry.

people like jeonghan who hold the emperor at their center are also blessed with wit, strategy, and competency to the point of victory. you know that they're in their best state when they win or they're in a situation where they can exercise these qualities.

this explains why jeonghan is just unbelievably good at every game and every sport he participates in. remember when they dedicated a whole going seventeen series (one million won) just so seventeen can have a chance to beat him?

jeonghan shines best in gose series that make use of strategy and brain power (one million won, liar liar, catch stock, don't lie, good offer).

not to mention, he's also athletic as fuck. any carat who's watched at least half of the entirety of going seventeen knows how the members are always drawn to him during physical team games. this moment from game caterers x seventeen is one of my favorites.

because it's in this same show that he's opened up about his energy "deficiency" (he's so my bias here because me too), and yet we see him still play so well, proving that his athleticism stems from a natural gift of it.

jeonghan's smarts go beyond his entertainment career, though, as he's currently pursuing his mba in anyang university. prior to this, he graduated with a degree in practical music (major in k-pop) from hanyang university's institute for future talents. which makes sense, though, as education is important to seventeen as a group themselves!

oh, and another thing!

something one must remember about the emperor is that this card/number has the energy of the divine masculine. in pop culture (on tiktok, specifically, ugh), the divine masculine is often associated with a man who's strong, well-built, powerful, and is a provider. think a hunky ceo with slicked back hair, a clean beard, with his head always in the game. he's always quiet and observant, always watching like an omnipotent being. however, i'd like everyone to understand that while this could be a result of having the emperor in your chart if you're a man, this isn't the one true image of it.

i mentioned this because i know people might be curious about this aspect, too. but quite honestly, i don't want to elaborate on this much as someone's sexuality is even more personal than the aspects i mentioned above.

all i can say is that to me, jeonghan deserves to be the face of divine masculinity more than the average man. because apart from looking godly (taking the literal meaning of divine here just for the giggles), jeonghan expresses his masculinity to us in such a comfortable way. i can't help but appreciate the complexity of his character. to me, jeonghan is what masculinity looks like if it had evolutions, and he's the final form.

besides, didn't seungcheol mention somewhere that jeonghan is the manliest out of all of them? like...look at him....im....weak

if you think i have a preference for long, black-haired jeonghan no i don't i swear i-

in conclusion, it's not surprising that a lot of people love and rely on jeonghan. he has such an admirable and inspiring core that naturally draws people to him. he inspires action within other people, whether it by simply breathing or by using his cutieful antics. to me, he's the perfect caricature of what a man should be.

a true reflection of the emperor at the core.

----------

notes: as i've mentioned in this post, i'll be using seventeen's destiny matrix charts as a way to hone my skills as a reader. i'd also like to note the readings i do may contain inaccuracies as there are a lot of factors that prevent me from reading accurately. though i'm familiar with divination, i'm still at the starting point of my journey in practicing it. plus, i don't know seventeen personally, so i'm basing my readings based off of the things they show us. ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

i'll also be taking it slow for now, only sharing bits and pieces of information as it takes a lot of energy to read and find supporting materials. so forgive me if the information you might be looking for isn't in any of my readings today and in the future! joesorryhamnida 人´∀｀)

if you have additional input, corrections, and/or questions, please don't hesitate to share them! i'd love to learn with & from my fellow carats ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ) so let's yap about this together!

anyway, if you've made it this far, thank you so much for having the patience to read through! i know it's a lot of ramble & reflection, but i appreciate your attention! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

see ya in the next post, caratdeul ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

p.s. i love you and i miss you so much jeonghan ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა please take care always my love (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

[a-fuckin-husk]

Husker was in a foul mood. "Grumpy" didn't cut it. From the moment he wandered down into the lobby, he snapped at anybody who dared come near and pressed him for anything more than an early-morning drink—which was no one. Literally nobody drank at 8 AM except for- ANYWAYS! It didn't matter.

Every once and a while, he would glance at the staircase, as if waiting for—

He picked listlessly at his breakfast. He was agitated, hardly paying attention to anything anybody had to say. He even snapped at Alastor, who was so taken aback that he merely narrowed his eyes but, luckily, didn't say anything else. For fuck's sake, he even told Pen to "shut the fuck up!" which was completely uncharacteristic because, even though he thought the snake demon's drivel was asenine, it was usually tolerable.

He couldn't stop glancing at the staircase.

It was nearly 3 in the afternoon when Angel Dust finally wandered downstairs. Husk could hardly begrudge him the late awakening, he hadn't even returned home to the hotel until nearly 6 AM.

But when he did finally make an appearance, the barcat's attitude shifted completely. Instead of irritable and distracted, he was suddenly anxious and restless. He did his very best to seem casual—he even went as far as to avoid Angel until the sinner approached his bar. And when the spider finally sat down, Husk turned his back to him, reaching, almost frantically, for a glass to polish.

"What d'ya want?" Husk asked. His tone was harsher than he meant it, but he was so focused on trying to stop his hands from shaking, that he almost didn't notice.

Honestly? Whatever Angel said, whatever he'd ordered, Husk didn't hear it. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Instead, he fixed Angel's usual, passed it to him, and said, "Listen, I went out gamblin' last night with some buddies of mine and they... Alright, so, don't read too much into this, okay?"

Christ, his heart was pounding so rapidly he could hardly think straight.

"I was playing poker with some buddies last night and one of 'em could play the tab, see? Well, it was late and we were all wasted, so we decided to let 'im bet whatever he wanted just 'cause we wanted to keep playin'. So he bets- look. It doesn't matter, okay?" He snapped, cutting himself off abruptly.

Husk only rambled when he was telling tall tails, and he seemed to remember that when his story suddenly stopped.

"Listen, just... Fuckin'... Fuck. Shut the fuck up, okay? Don't fuckin' say anything," he grumbled, before stooping under his bar to retrieve two boxes—a flat, rectangular box made of white cardboard, and a small, square jewelry box covered in black velvet.

"My point is: I won this shit in the poker game last night, but it isn't my style so I figured I'd give it to you. Take it or leave it, I don't give a shit,"

Except, of course, he did give a shit. Inside of the larger box was a gorgeous, rich blue, silk dress. Blue dye was extraordinarily difficult to find in hell—think Tyrian purple... But blue—so the dress was obviously expensive. And inside of the jewelry box was a pair of dangling gold earrings with sapphires. The earrings matched the dress and the color of the dress perfectly matched Angel's white and pink fur.

Obviously, there had been no poker game. Husker had saved up money and bought Angel a very nice dress and matching earrings... Just because. Angel deserved nice things—things that weren't tainted by Valentino. And these things? They were no-strings-attached, Husk emphasized as much with the sheer commitment to his stupid little lie about a non-existent poker game. After all, if he presented them as gifts that he'd painstakingly picked out, Angel might feel like he owed husk something, and the barcat didn't want that. So, it was better to pretend like all of this was a coincidence, like the lovely silk dress and the gold earrings were nothing more than ha d-me-downs that Husk didn't know the true value of. That way, Angel wouldn't feel obligated him. That way, Angel could have something nice, like he deserved, no strings attached.

"Sorry it isn't pink or whatever," he said, even though he knew that Angel would know the value of the color. "If you hate it, just toss it in the dumpster put back, I don't give a shit,"

Oh dear, his voice was shaking, as were his hands. In fact, he had to turn his back to Angel once again, just to hide the heat creeping across his face.

[astroceans]

11.02.22

i dont know how to stop it. the thoughts the memories. i thought that maybe when you decided it would all stop. contrary, they wont stop. im stuck thinking about the last 6 months and the times i could of been better and done better. the times where i should of stayed quiet where i should have loved you more. theres no benefit in thinking it though. i know you've made up your mind. and when i called you out i didn't think you would leave. i thought you'd stay like you had before. i thought you would fight more or maybe even just try. but this time you didn't. you left, you moved on. and now i think where i went wrong and if i could just been different. that if maybe i wasn't so messed up you would of stayed. maybe if i was less sad less me you wouldn't leave. but its ok. i know she is kind and she is beautiful. she is loved and taken care of. she can love you. and i know you deserve who takes away all the lies and brings you hope, poetry, and most importantly coffee. if i could talk to her, i would tell her this. his birhtday is january 10. hes actually not a typical capricorn but that might be because his mother is a cancer. hes emotional. he is kind. he is thoughtful. his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. hes a great gift giver. he has the biggest heart. hes easily influenced. gym is his therapy. he loves his family especially his sister and his mom. hes actually a feminist. hes a clean person. his alcohol tolerance is suprsisngly high. he likes to party and have fun. but more importantly i think he likes to stay in and do nothing. his favorite color is blue but he looks great in orange. his favorite artist is j balvin. and his music taste is impeccable. hes cannot park if his life depended on it but hes a great driver. he has a sweet tooth and probably the reason he has so many cavities. his favorite sweet is donuts, coming in second gummies. his grandpa is his biggest inspiration. and like many people, he's been hurt too many times especially by me. he has the worst anxiety and overthinks too much. his best friend committed suicide and his cousin was close to. he needs reassurance and lots of love. overall, i think he's the only person who has fought for me and for our relationship something i couldn't understand and maybe why i can't let it go. 

i know you deserve more than i could ever give you. you deserve an easy love with someone who doesn't have so many layers to cut through. someone with less complications and more love to give. in fact someone who isn't afraid to be loved. i know my thoughts wont leave because i live with regret, i live with sadness. i know i'll have to live without you and live with the thought that i failed you. and more importantly that given the choice, you wouldn't choose me anymore. that i am no longer the girl you want to be with and the one you want to spend the rest of your life with . i am not the first thought in your mind and i am not the last one either. you have simply moved and found arms to come home to. and i am stuck being the sad story. the girl who cannot love and be loved. and maybe thats what kills me the most. you get to move on and i cannot even find myself talking to another person without crying. i cannot listen to music without breaking down. i cant eat without feeling guilty. that i've lost myself throughtout everything and it took you a week to move on. i'd like to ask you how you did it but i fear that when i hear your voice i would lose my breathe. i have no hope for life. and i find no pleasure in it. i live day by day hoping one day i feel less sad but its been a month and a half and i still can't listen to our song. i know its not your fault but how cannot it not be? when i told you this you didnt seem to care and you chose to move on. im so tired of crying and the sleepless nights. the calling out of work. the torturing myself at the gym. the breaking down every time i go out with my friends. you're the punchline to all my jokes and the topic of conversation when it comes to gossip. you're the theme of all my spotify playlists and the inspiration behind my new hair color. youre my excuse when my parents ask me why i can't be more active in church and the reason i dont text back any guy. the reason i've started smoking again. i dont want to love you anymore. but im sorry i love you.

[triglycercule]

me when i find the PERFECT mtt song (yamitsuki,,,,,,,, maretu my king how did you do it,,,,,,,,,,,,, literally HOW did you do it why is this song weirdly accurate wtf and its for a completely different character 2??? HOW DID YOU DO THIS??? THE ENTIRE FUCKING SONG FITS??? THE ENTIRE SONG COULD BE MADE TO HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH ONLY MILD REACHING??? HELLO??????) (this translation!!!) (the translation is not.linking i will be shooting myself. its the on on the vocaloid wiki NOTthe video....)

literally like. 1/3 is horror. 1/3 is dust. and then the last is killer. in that order. the first 2 verses talk about bloodshot pain (bloodshot EYES.... HORROR'S EYE) and a rotting fatal wound (THE FUCKING HEAD CRACK!!! HIS GODDAMN HEAD WOUND!!!!). commiting brutality. i dont think much else is needed. wrong/right and judging biases,,,,, jesus fuck wtf. AND THEN in the next verse there's a mention of "starving for necessary evil" HELLO!!!! HELLO!!!!!!! him starving himself while also feeding snowdin human which totally sucks,,,,,, horror sans,,,,,,???? chorus of shrill voices (duh snowdin. or also could be undyne and royale guard. i like snowdin more). and then the last line of the second verse mentions sadism. nothing more to say. horror sans i mayhaps perchance mightve just encountered you in a song. or maybe the translation is freakily accurate and the song itself isnt that specific (probably but hey i can dream)

and then th next 2 verses r dust except i dont really know about the first verse but also a line that says "this is the death of the conflict, come and see me" could be referring to the human's death which like. man. and then the next verse is just dust sans but in a single verse. give me more excellent pain could be interpreted as LV but also the mental pain that comes with yk..... killing all you love.LOVE. LV. he needs more LV... anyways. mad off the beaten track. MAD. MENTION OF MAD LIKE CRAZY LIKE MAD TIME LIKE DUST SANS!!!! echoes of a haughty voice resound,,,,, phantom paps,,,,, "severe punishment, 100 renouned sights, i long for pure pessimism" i cant explain this one well i think but just think about it okay. this time you get to be the one coming up with the ideas (σ´∀`)σ

killer only has one verse that i can link this song 2 but i also think its th most freakily accurate. verse 1 is "through instantaneous joy, entertain me for my whole life, i'm cunningly"LUCKY". i get completely bored. give me pleasure without worry. and now, right away." and then "i'd rather head to eternal darkness. i'll abide by you always, emptily "HAPPY". i shed tears from my clear white eyes. come and show me your best smile!" HELP HELP HELP THEYRE SHOOTING ME HELP HELP!!!! THEY JUMPING ME (these lyrics) because WTFyhis isFREAKILY accurate. the entire first verse and its spiel on boredom and having someone else manage the entertainment/emotions,,,, and the cunningly lucky part is just. i think the word cunning is just really good to describe killer (sneaky little bastard) and then he's "lucky" emphasis on quotes because idk he got chosen for whatever the fuck his chara wants. what luck. really bad luck but whatever. and then MORE on the following another person and EMPTILY!!! EMPTY!!! KILLER FEEL NOTHING EMPTY!!!! fake happy too,,,, and killer has white eyelights sooo IM NOT REACHING!!! also he literally cries

in conclusion MARETU is a god amongst men and somehow this song managed to fit the mtt i have no idea how. next coming up: how NAMIDA fits horror. how thirst fits dust. how i'm high fits killer. idk if i already said this one probably did BUT JUST IN CASE maretu also has maegamist,,,,, maretu i knew i listened to you for a reason. so i could make totally irrational and unreasonable connections of your songs to the fucking murder time trio of all things. what joy

[sickknotdoom]

Someone should tell Eve that squeak doesn't get to decide how we feel about squeak's characters.

REAL. this is definitely gonna set some people off, but the whole "cuddles is the only real villain in the entire story and all the other staff are actually innocent" narrative is bullshit. nearly everyone that works at that hospital tortures and permanently detriments innocent lives if not ending them entirely in brutal ways, and were supposed to just forgive every single one just because "theyre being forced to do so"?

also, the "one true villain" being the only cishet and likely only neurotypical in the comic really rubs me the wrong way. apparently the reason sparklecare even got rebooted was because kneeby thought having evil characters also be queer was "bad representation". i am not a fan of the "queer people can do no wrong" approach. as someone whos gay and under the trans umbrella, id like to point you towards dahmer and chris chan.

jeffrey dahmer was a gay man who cannibalized other gay men. christine chandler is a transgender woman who committed incest. those traits are not mutually exclusive in the real world. they are taken simultaneously, unrelated to eachother unless you go out of your way to relate them. and i think its safe to say that nobody would try and link dahmers sexuality with his actions unless theyre homophobic.

just because one figure within a minority is fucked up, does not mean the rest of the minority is fucked up by association. if that was the case, then id be associated with edp445 and h/tler due to the fact im black and suffer from autism. but thats not the case at all, so why are the clowns so afraid of letting queer characters be antagonists, or vice versa?

all the nurses are treated like theyre completely innocent just because of their identities and/or them being possibly coded as neurodivergent. it seriously comes across as infantilizing queer and/or autistic people, which as someone whos both, i do not like. especially nurse puppy. i do not like the way puppy is written.

puppy is, in my opinion, the most explicitly autistic coded character in the comic (not including characters that are confirmed to be). lo is also the most babied by both the clowns and the fandom. loves whole premise is that cuddles brainwashed lov into seeing loves job (murdering and torturing innocent civilians) as a fun game. lo is canonically 30 years old, by the way.

speaking from experience, us autists are relatively easy to take advantage of when were younger, due to our difficulty grasping social cues. ive been taken advantage of by so many people in just fourteen years of being on this earth. ive been groomed, sextorted by someone who i saught out comfort from after said grooming, painted as a predator by the very person who sextorted me, and then propped by my only remaining "friend" group who would bring all that shit up just to milk my reaction and use it to further damage my reputation.

almost all these people were also queer and autistic, and coincidentally also liked sparklecare, my sextorter being the one who initially got me into it, since he had a uni pfp one time. theyre also victims of similar shit themselves. does that mean all queers/autists/sparklecare fans/abuse victims are like them? no. but does being any of those things excuse the torment they put me through? no the fuck it does not. you cannot give me the excuse of them "not knowing" or being "brainwashed", theyre all at least two years older than me, some being legal adults as im writing. you cannot convince me they didnt intend to fuck me up.

so it reasonably infuriates me to see a Grown Ass 30 Year Old Adult That Murders People For Fun And Listens To Them Scream In Misery With A Smile On Loves Face given the excuse of "lo doesnt know!!!! blame cuddles not lov!!!!" and the fandom just not questioning that at all. imagine watching your lover or best friend get murdered by someone breaking into their house and chucking a toaster into their bath while theyre taking a shower, and the cops* tell you to sue the manufacturers of the toaster. see how fucked that logic is? thats basically sparklecare.

*not like you should trust american cops but i needed an example ok

one of these people i described earlier happens to kin puppy, what a surprise. maybe im just projecting, but the most explicitly autistic coded character (also the only character so far that uses neopronouns/identifies as a xenogender) being treated this way is revolting to say the least, and i feel like lo is made immune to criticism by the clowns because lo just so happens to be those things. if this character werent queer, they would give no chances.* i will gladly allow puppy to exist as is, same personality, everything, i dont mind. its the constant infantilization and justification of loves abhorrent actions that upsets me.

*and this applies to all the other nurses in the comic, except maybe nurse snare since shes practically nonexistant after volume one. but in volume one we are shown barry being tortured and injured by, as far as i can tell, every nurse thats been introduced so far. barry, one of the fandoms most beloved characters, is put through excruciating pain and trauma on screen (with a million trigger warnings before each page, in typical clowns fashion) and nobody gives a fuck once its over, just because everyones queer except cuddles, and cuddles is the Only One To Blame For Anything At All Times.

the cycle of abuse is extremely common. an abuser being a victim does not cancel out them being an abuser, and if theyre not actively seeking help theyre a bad person, regardless of what minorities they belong to. but that does not mean everybody within that minority is a bad person. sparklecares creators and fandom cant seem to grasp that. kneeby cannot erase my opinions on the way the staff is portrayed.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Out of curiosity what do you dislike about Ada Palmers books

so tbc i made my way thru vol 1 of terra ignota and the first bit of vol 2 before quitting, so im working with a limited sample. but such is the case with dismissal! so here goes:

the prose is... bad. its very likely i should just develop a higher tolerance on this, ik im effectively gatekeeping myself from some very conceptually solid fiction over a relatively superficial skill detached from the stuff that really deeply matters, but the style on a sentence-to-sentence level is just very underwhelming, which is a particular problem when in universe its supposed to be elevated and uplifting (like the speech at renunciation day). i dont mind purple prose but it like marries imo the worst aspects of purple and bland, its a chore to get thru it

the pacing feels sort of mechanical and arbitrary,. every fifty pages, on the dot, theres another twist pulled from the Twist Bag! im told this im proves but its a) not enough to make up for the other deficits and ii) a common thing said when it takes a certain amount of time for ppl to inure themselves to an in fact persistent defect in a long work

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (But Your Kink Is OK)

i do not care about these characters. its hard for me to go into more detail bc i have little grip on what makes characters "work" for me in general but i just. dont care what happens to any of them (besides best not-girl eureka weeksbooth 🤤)

the worldbuilding. by far the biggest letdown. ppl will tell you—repeatedly, at length—that this is the great strength of the series. do not listen to them! they are misguided. ada palmer is really good—gifted, even—at the first step of worldbuilding, much moreso than most writers! shes top notch at coming up with a broad element of the society that makes you think "whoa, i want to know how that works!" and then... you never do. the depths are never plumbed. the depths are never even adequately hinted at. nor are the depths even conspicuously hidden from view! she just... tells you that there are a bunch of totally complicated details, trust me guys, look here i came up with some technobabble and some percentages like i totally promise theres stuff going on behind here! but there just, so aggravatingly obviously isnt! the technobabble does not even give the illusion of depth, the way (imo) it does in almost nowhere, it gives the appearance of earnestly trying to project such an illusion. tears me out of the immersion every time. its probably worth mentioning that i know from firsthand reports that she is into larp stuff irl, which is notorious for attracting ppl with a high tolerance for would be un-suspensors of disbelief. which, again, may be a virtue on their part! but if so its one i lack, at least here

i was talking to birdblog who suggested much of it might be that the work is very capital-L Liberal, and i am very not. which i think is kind of true, but less in that this is a drawback it possesses and more that its a virtue it lacks. theres lots of fiction i enjoy that is transparently committed to big philosophical/moral/political claims im vehemently opposed to! off the top of my head: any shakespeare that involves kings, any bernard shaw that involves Society, log horizon (at least s01, havent seen past it), nausicaa of the valley of the wind (the manga, the movie is sort of opaque philosophically), a bunch of outright propaganda films from wwii (american, british, russian, japanese), several kipling short stories...

but like, i think that a visceral sympathy for the earnestly felt message of a work of art does help one excuse other flaws, and i suspect a lot of my fundamentally Liberalism-oriented friends are able to enjoy the series bc the author shares that same basic vision. which is certainly like, an interesting one! but on its own its not enough to compel me past the artistic demerits by being either spiritually akin to encourage me or sufficiently weird and novel to fascinate me

anyway, tell me why im wrong, terra ignotans! humani nihil a me alienum puto

[godsdaughter3]

hey! i just found your blog but i love it, its so cute and i love that you are spreading this!! i have a few questions i hope youre comfortable answering! im a Christian myself, but ive been drifting, badly. i feel the most i do is pray before bed every night, but that is it.

what would i go to hell for doing? (ex. ive kissed some girls, used His name in vain, watched pornography, read it, (ALOT),etc.)

what exactly is blasphemy? how do i know if ive committed/done it?

how can i fully commit to God? I want to, but it seems hard. considering the music i listen to, (rap, songs from the weeknd, all lustful and vulgar) and enjoy it just seems difficult.

Thank you!

Hello love! Thank you for the compliment and welcomee!! I, 99.9% of the time, will never not be comfortable with answering any questions you have ever.

No, you wouldn't be going to hell for any of those things, as long as you repent God will always be welcoming you with open arms howerver, that doesn't mean take His mercy and grace for granted and sin then repent later no... Hell is a topic that's written in my drafts, I do plan on posting it soon (probably in the next few days) so you'll get more info then ♡. But I want to address, you're not going to go to Hell if you've been with another person of the same gender before. I have a draft about my view on the LGBTQ+ Community I have no idea when I'm going to post it but one day.

Reading smut, listening to lustful music, and using the Lord's name in vain unintentionally are all things that I, too, struggle with. The truth is those are all things that the devil WANTS you to be doing, and he will use that to lure you in and make you fall into his traps; you can read more about that here. At the end of the day, we're all human and make mistakes and God understands that, but He also wants to HELP us. All you have to do is open yourself up to Him and accept the help. Keep in mind. That's not going to be an easy thing to do.

Fully submitting to God is something that I'm still working on but one thing I know for certain is making small changes in your life makes a huge difference in your relationship with God. Here are some things that you could do:

• Change the people that you hang out with. You as a person are defined by who you spend time with, if you spend time with someone who does drugs, has sex left and right without being married, are quick to rush to evil, hurt innocent people. That's not healthy for your spiritual growth it'll affect your relationship with God and it'll give the devil easier access to ruin your relationship with God.

• Read a chapter of Proverbs every day and apply that chapter to your life. Think of Proverbs as your best friend when it comes to fully submitting yourself to God. I love the book of Proverbs. It gives you advice on what you should and shouldn't do. It helped me a lot as a baby Christian. There are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs, read one every day for a month. Make it a mission to apply a chapter to your life every day. (I definitely recommend reading in the NIV or NLT translation; it's easier to understand what you're reading, take notes and make sure you truly understand what you're reading, and apply it to your life ♡).

• Change the music that you listen to. I admit music might be one of the best things this world has ever invented. The music that you listen to has a HUGE impact on your life. I used to listen to lustful artists and then I realized... This person is singing about fornication. (Sex outside of marriage) that's not what I want to represent or apply in my life. So I switched over to Christian artists that I love! Here are some of them: Sam Rivera, Limoblaze, Evan Craft, KB, Flame, Forrest Frank, Caden Cook, and so much more. You can see my Spotify playlists on my pinned post. Now, I would like to add that changing your music doesn't exactly mean stop listening to secular music. You can listen to secular music just don't let it lead you to sin and don't idolize it.

Blasphemy is a hard thing to explain cause everyone has a different view on what it is but here's a video that can help you better understand what it is. ♡ (I'll definitely make a yap session about it for sure though. ♡)

Thank you so much for following me and I only hope and pray that you grow your relationship with God and my posts are a stepping stone for you and help you better understand Christianity and life as a Christian! Have an amazing day/night and never forget Jesus loves you!

[inkher0]

How does it feel to be married? 👀. My partner and I have been dating for 3 years. I really want to get to the next level with her, but im afraid something Will change. Ps: Sorry if this question is too personal-

Things will change, I'm not gonna lie. That's not your girlfriend anymore, that's your wife. That's a serious commitment, and that really sinks in when its final. Asking her to marry you is asking her to be the mother of your children, the person who legally has control of you when you can no longer make choices for yourself. You have to be an Adult in a way that you've probably never been asked to be, before. If you take it seriously, that matures you. It makes you realize how unimportant some things truly are, and how important she truly is. You start to understand Exactly why Dracula was so upset about them burning his wife at the stake

If you're worried about something changing negatively, I would recommend living with your partner for at least a year before considering marriage. Go through life's inconveniences together, and see how strong your bond is then. If you guys are still best friends- or, hell, even closer after all you've been through- then give it a shot.

As far as That Gay Shit goes, it's awesome. When I look to my right, I see a person that has been with me through my worst and best moments. Someone who calls me when he's coming home from work, because he wants to know if I'm hungry and if he should pick up food. I can't hear trumpets without thinking about him, because he played trumpet in high school. I love a good trumpet solo. We clean our cat's litterbox together, and we swap doing the dishes. Sometimes I pretend to be listening to music, but I'm really just listening to him play video games. His laugh is so warm, I want to hear it forever.

If you love them, it's deep in your bones. It doesn't go away, even if it changes.