#listen IDK how i want to do it yet
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ENCYLOPEDIA - There are 7 Dragon Balls, if you collect all 7 you can be granted a Wish.
I can wish for my ex-something to come back.
VOLITION - Please, for your own health don't do that.
RHETORIC - I have a better wish comrade, wish away all those damned bourgeoise.
"Damn those bourgeoise and those pigs too." He just squints at nothing in particular.
#IM JUST TESTING A BIT#IGNORE ME LMAO#listen IDK how i want to do it yet#harry dubois rp maybe#i might nap cause i think igot 4 hours sleep and im SLEEPYISH?? idk#definitely will incorporate the skills into the writing even if it's messy#honestly the hardest part about doing this will be trying to capture all the different skills and their little personalities lmao#but god i loved this game so much my brain rot is still there
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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Mspaint is really fun actually—
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#castlevania ii#castlevania simon’s quest#simon’s quest#castlevania ii: simon's quest#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#art wip#the colors are definitely a bit off in photos augh#eventually once it’s done I’ll be able to put the actual image tho#listened to a lot of malice mizer songs I hadn’t heard yet drawing this :3#I’ve been trying to actually get into visual kei properly cause I love how the genre sounds and have been listening to Gackt since forever#but I kept putting off doing it for some reason 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#does anyone else get the thing where you go ‘oh yeah this band is so good’#and then listen to like maybe the same three songs over and over and over again (X X ;)#yeahg anyway Simon again yay :3#augh I really wanna actually work on comic ideas for him but aaaaaaa#another thing does anyone else like suddenly stop being able to do things like ok#I’ll want to do something and then get ready to do it and suddenly lose all energy and drive for it for no reason#and I still! want! to do it! augh!#but I’ll put my hand to paper and it’ll go limp like I’ve never held a pencil like bro come on don’t do this to me now 💀💀💀#I’ll be able to start some new mspaint painting totally fine tho (XwX)#I’m pretty positive I have something mentally wrong with me tbh high suspicion of autism maybe adhd could be depression who knows idk#ack anyway drawing the tragically beautiful 1600s vampire hunter about it
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hewwooo tuesday here's a silly little question for you since your "check it out, frogs!!" blog title always delights me: how do each of your characters feel about frogs? 👀
I *love* Frogs, but how do the blorbeans feel about em...? Well... I had to really think about it TTuTT BUT! Chuu favors mechanical creatures over flesh 'n blood ones, and while her getting to the First is ambiguous and mysterious (being a non-wol, I just try not to think about it too much) She DOES... love the Dwarven Mecha frogs. And. The biggest frog of them all... Formi.... <3 …. So she doesn’t care for frogs much. She has sent Tuesday out frog catching for alchemical ingredients though….
Colette... Doesn't have any feelings this way or that about frogs, really. They're small, they're kinda slimey? but mostly they're just, very small. Except Gigantoads, I suppose, but those are a toad, and decidedly less slimey, by virture of being a toad. The ambivalence remains though! They're not that tricky to fight so long as you know how to wriggle out of their tongue grasp. (I did... take some frog-related Colette pictures tho >:3 I'm just gonna, post em a bit later, since the theme got away from me) Gigantoads make for a decent enough meal so long as you prep the meat right :T the legs are the most edible part yk.
Ishi is much more fond of Poro Roggo's, Matoya's froggy familiars. They're wearing LITTLE HATS ! They wave little canes! They're quite frankly adorable and they have little croaking voices. What's not to enjoy? (And also, there's something really nice about being out in the marshes of Mor Dhona and finding a little frog instead of a Morbol ready to stink bomb you, HAH)
Tuesday shivers when he thinks about frogs (knows the difference between a frog and a toad, still pictures a Gigantoad first, and does not much love being yanked mid-cast from his Ley lines into body slamming range.) Finds just a regular little frog endearing and will get down in the mud and muck to look at it though. Is especially fascinated by frogs that stick to things like leaves and trees and their camouflages uwu He’s the one who likely knows the most about frogs, and would gladly tell you more about them. Probably compares information with Erenville, if they ever meet up in non-life-threatening-situations.
Tangy finds them fun ! If she’s on a walk or a run or an errand and it’s drizzly and she sees a little frog hop across the pathway there’s literally 0 inhibitions in her body that stop her from also hopping or skipping for at least a minute (still on her way, but a frogs leap is so charming. They’re like tiny dragoons! She points this similarity out to Estinien once. Krile laughs, Estinien looks constipated- you know the face.) She also has a weird compulsion to put them into her mouth, though, so if she catches one….. make sure it’s not poisonous. She doesn’t even plan to eat it! They just look like they would fit perfectly in her kitty jaws (she is sometimes correct).
Mochiie had to get used to frog song when he moved to Gridania. The rivers and lakes and greenery abounding let the little critters thrive in a way they don’t particularly on the Steppe. …. He comes around to finding it relaxing and feels uneasy when he doesn’t hear them anymore lmfao. In non-WoL au’s, probably sometimes tasks adventurer’s with catching frogs for alchemical ingredients OR to bring back to the pond he’s been carefully maintaining to encourage the little beepers to live in it. (Btw, his favorite frog singers are the Pobblebonk or Banjo Frog [YT Link], and the Pacific Chorus Frog [YT Link] 🥰)
Levraut…. I’m still not sure. 🤔 I think he’d like them, but he wouldn’t feel strongly about them. He WOULD eat them though. As would Colette and Mochi… I mentioned Tangy liked to stick them in her mouth but actually eating them seems like a waste, since she’s so big and they’re so small. Like eating a blueberry. I can say his favorite frogs would be the Blue Jeans Poison Frog, for their striking jackets of warning colors, and the desert rain frog, whose perfect spherical nature and grumpy face is endearing.
#ASK GAME#TY FOR THE ASK? I got to think about frogs a whoooole bunch and it’s got me feelin like a sparkling lemonade#me personally? I’m always biting at the bars between me and the Devs wanting a mount that looks like one of their Gigantoads. idk how you’d#even ride on it I just. want it. LMFAO#also I didn’t get poses for everyyybodyyyy but I did have fun taking these screens uwu!!!#I also listened to a bunch of frog calls….. poison dart frogs make such a cool noise it’s wild#somehow picturing Lev with a Frog was akin to plopping an alien in front of him I could noOT figure out how he’d feel about them!#if I had my self-Insert character done up I woulda done a bonus of me with frogs lololol#but I was having trouble getting even just the one frog for Ishi 🫢#ffxiv Chuu#ffxiv Viera#ffxiv Miqo’te#ffxiv Ishi’li#also…. uhm…. the Boys ™ are still in ARR gameplay wise so even though by all rights they should be a DRK and an AST I didn’t uh.#I didn’t have any MCDF’s made up for either of them 🫢🫣 cos we haven’t >> Designed em yet#so please accept DRG Kizuna and his tummy and Nin Ishi and his. hair that’s a little short#OH ALSO THEIR SCRINKLE CARBUNCLE BC THEY HAVE POOR AETHER POOLS#the WoL has 10k. Ishi has like. 3-4k. he gets trained to Always Be (Lucid) Dreaming for the MP regen#I wanted to post this today and do more screenshots before hand but the Maint is gonna gunch me first#Cos Im finishing endwalkers with my husbaaaand !#Please enjoy what I have. Ishi tripped.
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If Jane Austen could write about my family from the outside and I could read it then maybe I would be healed.
#moving out has helped! but is there is not a new social life/core for me yet#maybe ever? idk#but within the actual family unit there is ….. so much going on#so much suffering. so much change. unbelievable levels of stress and anxiety and depression#like I really cannot emphasize enOUGH how much#and my parents are essentially full time caregivers#and I both want to help and be a stabilizing factor and I also want to be honest about how much of a toll it takes on me#because i think it’s A Lot#but also I don’t like modern rhetoric on any of these difficult topics and I reject it even though I use a lot of the language#hence why I need Jane Austen to do it for me#to bring this full circle#anyways if you could say a prayer for us. for my parents especially but also my sister#well all the sisters and my brothers!#anyway reflecting angsting etc.#tbh I would love to know the medium of the average family’s unhappiness and stress#Because I think ours is off the charts#But idk. Would love to know more tbh#I would love to know if a lot of it just the human condition! But sometimes I’m just like this is not normal lol#thanks for listening
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so many young women recently desiring to be stay at home mothers….the ironic part of it is that all of those women that do become stay at home moms will one day understand why the women before them fought so hard for them to not have to fulfill that role at the point at which they realize that their personhood has been entirely sacrificed in the name of motherhood & there is no going back on that. all women who are stay at home moms are forced to put themselves aside to take care of their children and husband & are forced to make that their entire identity & that is exhausting and dehumanizing. that is how betty friedan started second wave feminism w the feminine mystique. bc women finally realized that all women hated being housewives & there wasn’t smth wrong w each of them individually as they had all believed. but those that do not learn history etc etc……
#michelle speaks#being a stay at home mom is not sustainable for women in our society for a million reasons#& yet some women refuse to see that just to live out a fantasy they were sold as young girls#& for many of them i cannot blame them bc they r forced into it before they have the ability to really learn that there r other options#but for the women who r in a position where they can actively choose how to live their lives#that they would choose to be stay at home moms despite the insanely oppressive nature of it 😩#the thing is that YES there is an issue of women being forced to do economic labor & then come home & do the same amount of domestic labor#so now women r expected to do double the work right. however i want to propose a solution to this that might be crazy#women CAN & SHOULD set higher standards for men. do not marry a man that expects u to mother him. do not let him get away w slacking.#& yes that can be easier said than done. but my point being that setting higher standards for men while having independence that can allow#u to leave said man if need be is ALWAYS going to be the superior option to being entirely dependent on that man#listen i am DEEP on my sleep medication idk if anything i said made sense….#this woman on bb was like if i have 2 kids i’m not working i’ll br at home & i was like GIRL???? IN 2024???????#women should aspire to be so much more than someone’s mom…….u r a whole person w/o that.#this is mot to say that there’s anything wrong w wanting to be a mom it is abt women wanting it to be their whole identity#also this other woman keeps being like my husband LET ME be on the show girl he LET YOU???? IN 2024?????????????
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once again thinking about my ideal 3rd drb match up and how it’d stack up with plot beats and so far all i got is
🔴💥⚪️: true hypnosis mic opponents, maybe jakurai ends up on a side for further development to save yotsutsuji and that’s against ichiro’s current goal
🔵💥🟠: haven’t quite figured out why, but rei vs samatoki is the angle i’m thinking about
🟡💥🟣: all plot stakes division vs no stakes division lol idk really but i’m leaning towards a bonds angle or if hypmic wants to be real freaky, the side effects angle 🤔
#this is vee speaking#i still think a new format could happen but idk lol there’s so many unknowns rn#like what’s next specifically lmao#i personally feel it would be a waste not to have jakurai working to finalise development for this potential other true hypnosis mic lol#like they teased him joining chuuoku but then didn’t commit?????? huh??????#what about his struggle with causing more harm vs saving that one?????? like come on now??#so here’s me trying to put him back on that track lol#why not sasara vs samatoki you might ask lol and my answer is that’s the poster fight but the real fight is between rei and samatoki lol#samatoki was weirdly interested in rei watching bb vs dh and there’s a panel in showdown battle where samatoki looks……#he’s very hard to read actually while listening to ichiro#samatoki and rei are paralleling in the block party as individuals moved by ichiro’s ideals#so while i’m not sure if ichiro would be the reason to fight (🎋hahahaha🎋) i think there’s potential for strife#*sighs at bat* why doesn’t kr want to do anything with y’all lmao#if they went the side effects angle it’d be cool to have ramuda the guy whose clones die using the true hypnosis mic#vs kuukou who might be suffering from side effects (and against the guy that caused them tho he’s forgiven ramuda lol)#jyushi’s hypnosis ability to ‘recover’ is genuinely interesting because what is he recovering???? and why haven’t we seen it yet?????#maybe they’re lying in wait lol (delusional)#bonds angle is me grasping at straws lol but here’s how i can get my ideal match ups—
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#theres gotta be. like there has to be something wrong with my head#ugh. not wrong. wrong is a bad word. just. i should not b this hard to get my brain to focus on literally anything that matters#its just so frustrating. im doing the best i ever have. and yet i still cant focus. wtf else can i do?#god dammit. all i wanna do is listen to garbage and draw and draw and draw my shitty little scribbles#maybe my head jsut wasnt built for what im trying to do with it#so idk how tf im supposed to get thru the next 4 years of my phd. or wtf im gonna do after#maybe i should just have just started working at a lab when i graduated. just be a lab manager for thr rest of my life#i dunno. i dunno what to do. how to make my head work. it shouldnt be this hard. my dad can just do things he doesnt want to and im like#HOW??? Im too much like my mom. especially now that im way less anxious. she was a procrastinater and a messy disaster#ay. im just frustrated and feeling guilty abt the lack ot work getting done. i just wanna get back into thr lab#unrelated
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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Today, Beck's been saying that I ruined everything, I was supposed to be the happy one. Friday and him both say the at I ruin things pretty frequently but this one hurts a bit. He's saying it in context to one of the collective delusions, but my brain just keeps applying it to everything. I just feel like that happens a lot. I'm supposed to be the happy one, I'm supposed to be the happiest in the room. Not like, in the moment but in a general sense. I feel like I've failed people by having trauma. Friday calls me a ruiner all the time. I ruin people and places and ideas and things. I ruin the vibes. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be like anything. I'm gonna sit in the sun tomorrow and see if that helps. I love having emo songs Bob as my pfp. Light of my life in moments like this fr. It's just funny being all depressed and then seeing my pfp pic and reading it in his voice. Good stuff.
#I also want to start dreaming scene.... which I've wanted to do since i was like 12#probably more emo then hard scene but i feel like i don't listen to enough emo music to actually be able to claim the subculture#but im all talk. dressing like that takes money and time. i dont even know how much i get paid at my new job yet and im so sleepy tired#all the time#i feel like im really close to being on the right track but i keep getting thrown off right before i get on#i feel like a squished piece of fruit on the floor#i wish i would shut up tbh#friday broke up with autumn and henery. and idk why but im kinda feeling the pain from that more than either of them are#hes begging super distant now :( we used to talk a lot#he's so I'm consistent though I'm sure it will be back to normal soon#all the above mentioned are alters in our system lol
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lost my earphones lost my will to live
#lily sent me an ask i want to listen to that song so bad tbh ugh#all i can do on the train ride now is either study coursebooks or read sylvia plath#atp im just scared i’ll break down crying in front of a bunch of strangers and my family wtf#so the safe option is to study. i’ll be better prepared for my exam and viva too#but. the exam fear hadn’t kicked in yet idk how to study in these circumstances???#. ༉‧₊˚ — hana’s random !#lmao this became a rant huh
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Growing up w a mom who both wants to talk to you about all of her feelings but also somehow doesn’t know how to talk about your feelings but also she’s your best friend and also she’s done so much for you but she ruins your day constantly and you love her but you haven’t told her that in months when she says she loves you you say “yeah” and walk away and she’s sick and you’ve been asking her every time you get up if she needs anything if she wants the bong packed if she needs water food whatever and then the one time I’m nauseous making food for myself (eating for the first time today at one pm) she leans into the kitchen and asks me to make her scrambled eggs and I said no maybe after I eat and she said okay and then went back into her room and then I took my food and went into my room and was just eating when she came into my room to yell at me and cry about me not ever helping her and I said no I can cook after I eat a little I was nauseas and she was just like [yelled through tears] no I’m making myself toast you don’t need to do anything for me! And slammed my bedroom door and went loudly crying across the house and now I’m just in my room like oh okay 👍 thanks ! So I might go to the library for a bit maybe and listen to my mommy issues playlist on the way there and sob
#lol! okay sure this might as well be how my day goes today sure#no cause she made me feel so fucking awful that I didn’t immediately fucking bend to her will it’s insane the guilt this woman can lay on#i said I haven’t eaten yet today she immediately said ‘ I haven’t eaten in three days I weigh ___ (low number for her bc she’s always keepin#me in the loop on her weight cause that helps raise children with normal relationships to themselves and their own weight#anyways#yeah !! yipppe !! and I was on the phone with my girlfriend and she had to fucking listen to my mom yell at me !!!#apparently she deafened but idk when she did but I have to feel bad about that too cause my mom yelling triggered 📞 and made her anxiety#spike and she wanted to go lay down for a while and I’m just like pissed off in my room and it’s soooo fucking annoying#I think I’m gonna just finish my Mac and cheese cup and pack up my coloring book and my iPad and go drive and check the ashtrays first maybe#I need tobacco after that I feel like I was doing good I haven’t smoked tobacco in two days I think so yay but after that. I want a bowl and#I don’t have that much rn#whatever I could make it work without the ashtrays and I could just like. stop going.#I could have self control if I wanted to. hmm… we shall see.
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#personal#please this is the fourth appointment ive had just to try and get the fucking doctor to sign my stupid form properly#please give ya girl tips. i cant walk away without my papers today this has gone on so long#too long!!!! please please anyone give me tips on how to make the fucking stupid doctor just write some words on a fucking piece of paper#please#literally all she has to do is write the words already written in my other dx boxes onto another piece of paper for me#why is it so fucking hard for her. dont doctors have to go to school for a long time why cant this one read and write???!#internet please im begging you here if you know the exact right things to say to make it happen please tell me!!#or i might start screaming at this idiot woman its been one of those days/weeks. i dont want to be the one yelling at the doctors office#i just want my fucking papers in order. which since ive got the last decade of paper trail already organized#SHOULDNT BE THIS FUCKING HARD SHOULDNT TAKE THIS LONG OR THIS MANY APPOINTMENTS FUCK#im already so mad and i havent even got dressed yet 😒 idk if thats better than the mute medical alter#is pissiness better than silence? does it work better on the self appointed smartest people who wont fucking listen?#self appointed self entitled self centered. doctor doctor im dealing with genuine medical issues that effect my everyday fucking life#i actually dont have time or patience or energy to make sure you still feel smart and big and important#just do your fucking job. write whats already written on a new piece of paper and we can both go about our lives WHY#ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO HARD THERE IS NO REASON
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Fun fact ur ferritin should be 30-50
Mines 7 :)
#gonna fight every doctor that refused to do their job and called me dramatic#over 20 fuckin years of this of feeling like my body is slowly dying#that’s not the only thing that’s severely low either#like my iron is relatively normal but that’s all they ever tested#no one ever bothered looking further meanwhile my iron saturation is almost nonexistent#idk how u can have normal iron but no iron saturation but apparently that’s possible#we don’t know yet but we are betting I either have celiacs or graves#and I’m really hoping not celiacs cause my diet is already very limited if I have to cut out what little I can eat#I might as well just get a feeding tube I’d be starving if I have to cut out stuff for celiacs#we think my body can’t process proteins either don’t know the answer on that one yet#but I’m pretty confident that’s true#considering meat makes me painfully sick#ghost rambles#anyways over 20 years of being called dramatic and a hypochondriac and I was fucking right#genuinely I think there should be some kind of repercussion for doctors who refuse to test or listen to patients#it shouldn’t have taken this long to have some tests ran#and we don’t even know what it is yet just know that I have proof now I wasn’t lying#the amount of doctors that belittled me saying it’s anxiety or I want attention or that bullshit#I had a licensed professional ask if I’m sure it’s not just hunger#and yknow what yea I’m pissed at all the ‘professionals’ that let me live in so much pain and barely able to function#all because no one wanted to believe me
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i don't think i can be normal about Sunday guys
#hsr#hsr spoilers#i haven't even FINISHED it yet but his ideology is so warped. i cheered when i thought Gallagher had killed him for real#im not upset he's alive though i do think it's a bit of a cop-out . but. ouhghhhh something is so wrong with his mind (/positive.)#it's successfully looped back around to loving his character though. when there's a fucked up guy in a story i either#1) get very hostile towards them because i feel like they aren't being portrayed enough like the villain i see them as#or 2) become Obsessed with them forever because they are just so fucking . Wrong. like .#ayato genshin impact falls into both of these categories simultaneously like a fucking electron.#but sunday. he has wholeheartedly landed himself in the second category. i need to dissect him and maybe like. idk. give him a cake (?)??#Come Experience The Joys. Idiot. and also maybe listen to your sister.#honestly i REALLY like robin i think she's super super great and has good ideas#i really really love the like. the.#the contrast between his like. his horrible pessimistic nihilistic ideology. and robins optimistic harmonious one.#like robin seems to kind of... not be able to understand that sometimes nihilism is the only way to survive and that it's a balance#survival is good but hard to break out of... you need to survive enough to be ABLE to live. she seems to idealize living in opposition to it#whereas sunday is like. there are people who can ONLY survive. sometimes living isn't an option because the world is cruel and we don't all#get that choice. sometimes surviving is all you can do. why not embrace that? why not build a place where people can postpone death?#if fulfillment isn't possible... then why not accept placation even if it is a poison to the soul? surely joyful prison is better than death#if all that awaits in the world is suffering then why not let the bird live the rest of its days in its cage... even if it is unfulfilling?#HE'S SO . RHGHHGHGHFHGHHVGJF#he feels like he's on the brink of a misanthropic suicidal breakdown to me. someone fucking help him (but not really)#(i don't think anyone should be subjected to his brain. but i would like to see him get better. actually i think robin is trying for sure)#anyway. very curious how this quest is going to end. i want to rip him limb from limb and then stitch him back together again after#my posts
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sorry im a god gale truther btw i DO think he should get to usurp mystra and ascend to godhood and i do think that should be an absolutely awful thing to happen to him but also literally everyone else. sorry
#bg3#not main tagging this further bc its. mad man 1:30am rambles#but listen. mh.#ok so. heres the thing.#while i do think. their relationship was absolutely fucked. and yeah we can argue for grooming and or abuse.#i also dont QUITE enjoy how ppl make gale like. the poor poor totally blameless victim. like. mh#how to phrase this so it DOESNT sound victim blame-y. but like.#from how i interpret the things he told & what the game shows.#my mans REALLY struggles with No's and rejection. and i wouldn't just put that as a Mystra Aftermath Thing#he WAS forbidden from trying to ascend/was told by her she wouldnt make him an equal. and his response basically was.#'but let me prove i am worthy of this'#which yeah. plays into the fucked up self worth. ill get back to that.#plus the uh. touch the orb scene? he just. grabs your hand and pulls it towards him because he WANTS to show you this. Now.#any rejection within the relationship? I Should Blow Myself Up#he got that gifted kid energy of everything always came easily to him and yet it wasnt ever enough and the relationship w a literal goddess.#certainly didnt help that.#so hes constantly reaching for more. and thats a fault of his because he will do that even if told not to because#at the same time he thinks of himself as smart enough to actually Get to that More.#and yknow w the orb? he literally. got So Badly Burned. is it deterring him? nnnnnnot really.#and i think. godhood would. idk i think he could do it. and i think it still wouldn't be enough.#and having an all powerful deity who ALSO a) still never is satisfied with his amount of power and control and b) thinks he know better than#anyone and could do better than anyone#sounds like its gonna fucking suck#anyways im rotating this all in my brain + ofc the delicious bloodweave combo of ascended astarion + new god gale bc thats just. ough#the mess. of this combo.
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