#i dunno. i dunno what to do. how to make my head work. it shouldnt be this hard. my dad can just do things he doesnt want to and im like
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
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rasin-c00ldude · 1 month ago
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hey guys i REALLY need 2 rant about a certian person and some certian ships that really rub me the wrong way and i need 2 argue them.
ok ik i literly just made like 2 post but i had the joan x topher shipper blocked bc seeing them exsist made me have a srs mental breakdown and i get unbleavibly upset seeing them and when i unblock them 2 see what their up 2 i see ivan x lizze and topher x frida..... did they watch the show like do we know the same ivan???
"Ivan the Terrible is a disgusting, hateful, misogynistic incel, who despises all women for refusing to have sex with him." "He is a misogynistic incel, who hates women because he can't get laid." "I hate all women. I hate them because I want to have sex with them but they won't have sex with me because I hate them." "Ivan stated that he agrees with Abe's disdain toward Joan and added that he hates women for not wanting to have sex with him."
it literly states this so many times on the wiki and he even says it himself like he quite literly gets no bitches. just because lizzie is also outcasted 2 join the bleacher creaychues doesnt mean ivans probaly gona treat her any difren, still a woman. also like, maybe hcs speaking but lizze gives off like sweet but fucking insane lesbian who hates boys in a girlboss way (plz like understand what im talking about) and ivans just a shithead who thinks hes cooler than he actaully is and hates everyone, just doesnt work out in my head i dunno.
about topher x frida..
tophers is ashamed of his haritage and so tries his absolute best 2 be the most sportive nice guy he can and distance himself from his clone father, he literly CHANGED HIS NAME. BUT THE JOKE IS HE ISNT. HES A HORRIBLE STINKY INCEL TROLL WHO HATES EVERYONE. HE LITERLY SAYS IN THE SEASON 2 FINALLY BE4 HES ABOUT 2 GET BRAINWASHED THAT "HE THINKS WOMAN SHOULDNT WEAR "BE4 GETTING CUT OFF, SO HES LITERLY AN MISOGYNIST HE LITERLY BASICLY SAYS IT. also frida is literly a badass who would not put up with tophers incel bullshit like im 99 precent sure they dont have 1 positive interaction if they do id be happy 2 see it tho. the poster art doesnt count hes literly just laying next 2 her they arnt even looking st eachother,, FRIDAS ALSO A LESBIAN????????? SHE LIKES GIRLS!!!!!!!!!
i can quite literly argue about how topher is gay and has a crush on abe for DAYS IM SO FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW I MEAN IT. im not discriminating against ships but like i am. idk if this is the fagot hardcore ivan x vlad in me talking but going out of ur way 2 be hetro in a CLONE HIGH COMUNITY (like u know what show ur talkimg about??) makes me more than a little mad so i just needed 2 like talk about it (also if any1 wants my evidence on how topher is gay 4 abe in2 a little esay id be soo happy 2 share cough cough)
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moku-and-his-madness · 1 year ago
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long ass, probably confusing, shouldnt give a fuck vent....it'd be hard to try and make sense of it...
so...tw for a lot of things...i dunno how to tag them...;-;
DID. probably the main topic on my mind right now. im trying to find out whats going on in my head....its fucking busy up there.
so, i have SOMETHING in my head...be it BPD or i dunno anymore.
But one thing i know for sure is that theres something. but it could be just placebo affect. it may sound wrong but i was always kinda jealous, of people with DID or systems. because the alters could protect them from memories and trauma.
and when i started to get a better understanding of how DID works...i was upset. because my mind felt so hallow, with all the memories and pain and horror just ringing in my head. there are just times where im so desperate for something, anything to be there for me to run towards to make me forget or to shield me from my pain but it would just make me angrier when there was nothing there. and this also got me thinking...is there something wrong with me? 15 years of pain, and lies, and abuse, and rape, and cutting, and horrible horrible unsaid things and events, constantly and nobody ever knew? i kept it all in and everyone still thought i was fine?
sometimes i try and convince my own self that that mask i kept up was to protect everyone, that the harsh words and thoughts were to be kept separate. so i compartmentalized, i separated my thoughts and emotions to not have to deal with the constant pain. but sometimes it slips through, and it doesn't even sound like me.
its cruel and its harsh and its raw emotion in a cocktail even i myself don't even have a name for. its uncontrollable, and its uncomfortable, and im scared it will get loose. im balancing and teetering my life during a balancing act of chaos....and id like to give in, but im reminded how my impulse hurts others, ruins relationships, destroys lives. and its all on loop inside my head constantly repeating and it hurts. "I want it to stop" words ive said like a mantra thinking it'd help in some way...
and i dont know whats wrong...ive changed so many times its hard to see through the millions of grayscales of myself...
i really do wish it would all stop sometimes...
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bojackhorsemanobviously · 2 years ago
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more ai fun herb/bobo fun xd bold is my prompt (sure i could prob write it myself but im lazy and this entertains me quicker)
Herb smiled and promptly gave Bojack a kiss much to the horses shock, he was stunned and ended up pulling away. "Um Herb… um………… im not. .. I'm not gay.."
"Oh! UH.. yeah me either it was just.. a spur of the moment."
Bojack felt a mixture of relief and disappointment at Herb's response. He had always valued their friendship and didn't want anything to ruin it. However, a small part of him had secretly hoped that Herb's feelings for him were more than just friendship.
"I'm glad we cleared that up," Bojack said with a small smile. "So, tell me more about this show you want me to star in."
Herb eagerly launched into his pitch, describing the premise of "Horsin' Around" and how Bojack would be perfect for the lead role. Bojack listened attentively, feeling a flicker of excitement as he imagined himself on screen.
As they talked, Bojack couldn't help but feel grateful for Herb's support and encouragement. He knew that breaking into the entertainment industry was tough, but with Herb by his side, he felt like anything was possible.
"I can't wait to tell my mom about this!" Bojack smiled. herb didn't looked pleased.
"Your mom huh? You mean that one who said you were nothing but a waste of space and was lucky she didnt throw you out when you were three during your birthday? That Mother? " Herb frowned. his friend had such a weird interest in pleasing that woman he didnt get it Bojack's smile faded, "Yeah, her. I don't know, I just feel like I owe it to her to make something of myself."
Herb shook his head, "You don't owe her anything. She was abusive and neglectful. You deserve better than that."
Bojack shrugged, "I know, but she's still my mom. And maybe if I make it big, she'll finally be proud of me."
Herb sighed, "Bojack, you can't base your self-worth on what other people think of you, especially not someone who treated you so poorly. You need to find your own reasons to be proud of yourself."
Bojack nodded slowly, taking in Herb's words. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to let go of his mother's expectations and start focusing on his own happiness and success.
" Well i mean yeah i guess but. I dunno maybe she'll like it.. you never know. "Bojack frowned rubbing the back of his mane, showing a sigh of anxiousness.
"Your mother never liked anything you do , you told me so yourself. " Herb frowned. "BJ listen im just saying your mother is a hard woman you shouldnt care what she thinks."
Bojack looked down, feeling hurt. "I know, I know. It's just hard, you know? I grew up with her constantly criticizing me, telling me I'm not good enough. It's like I'm always trying to prove something to her, but I never seem to succeed." He let out a deep sigh. "I don't know why I even bother."
Herb placed a reassuring hoof on Bojack's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. You're talented, you're funny, and you're going to make it big one day. And when you do, your mother will regret ever doubting you." He gave Bojack a small smile.
Bojack managed to crack a small smile in return. "Thanks, Herb. I appreciate it. I just need to learn to let go of that need for her approval, you know? It's easier said than done, but I'll work on it."
Herb nodded. "I know you will. And I'll be here to support you every step of the way."
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lonelyinkcap · 5 months ago
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seven
one
i met you in
third grade
we decorated bookmarks
i dont remember much else
youd walk around the playground
humming to yourself
i tried to talk to you
you didnt want company
i thought it was odd
you said at your old school
you made friends with two kids
by following them around
for days and weeks and months
one of them moved schools
the other
i met at your birthday party
i felt he was
a threat to our friendship
i dunno
i guess that makes eight
i decided i hated him
and that he hated me
he didnt
but i told you years later
he threw a book at my head
it was an accident
i didnt mention that
i thought i had a crush on you
in sixth grade
maybe i did
i wished i didnt
im not sure
now i
call myself gay
say i dont like girls
she got upset
at the beginning of seventh
because i liked you
she liked you too
you had a crush
on her twin sister
shes always been jealous of her sister
it fell apart that year
and the year after
id ignore you for weeks on end
so youd give me attention
yknow its funny
my mom always said i was manipulating her
but
i was
mostly hurting others
i still tried
to sit with you and your friends
im sorry
i was awful
i hope you found
better people
two
you were
around the same time i think
well
i met you later
i thought you hated me at first
you did
yknow
the whole crush thing
we
dated for two weeks
i wish i could forget
there was one time
you thought i was
ignoring you
so you ignored me
and i
got upset
and ignored you back
after
a couple days
we realized
we didnt actually
have a reason
to do that
you fucked everything up at the end of middle school
im not going to deny
that was your fault
i was still
an awful person
to you
i wont deny
i still am
im sorry
three
fuck
i really messed this one up
i hope you found better friends
i know
you probably didnt
i keep forgetting
whether i asked you to sign my yearbook or not
i checked
you apologized in the note
fuck
its my fault
im sorry
four
this one
never really
finished
im glad
youre a good friend
i talked about you
behind your back at a sleepover
they
agreed with me
somewhat
but we couldnt do anything
thought youd
tear apart our group
youre better now
or maybe
i got better
stopped seeing
just the negatives
i shouldnt have
done the things i did
regardless of
if were still friends or not
five
i know other people agree with me
about you
but i still fucked it up
id sit on the third floor so you couldnt find me
during free
you
bully me
but i let you think that was okay
six
i still dont know how this one is going
you asked us to add you
to our group chat
i was
pretty upset about it
i didnt say anything
we had to make another one
because i have a samsung
we never use
the group chat
with you in it
you dont either
i asked
him
what to do
i dont know why
i blocked you?
im not sure you noticed
i
told them
they didnt
respond
i dont know what i expected
i dont know
if youve ever
done anything wrong
i think
my brain is trying
to sabotage
you
seven
this ones
a work in progress
my dad doesnt understand
how were not
closer friends
the things i get upset at you for
are
dumb
pointless
and
accidental
im sure you didnt mean to
you treat me like
im more durable
than
a thin piece
of cracked glass
i fucking hate you
but i wish
i didnt
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auburnfires · 3 years ago
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i havent gone to the er yet 🤡
#im scared lol 🧍🏻#also im struggling w invalidating myself#im like… idk like do i rlly need to go to the er this???#like what if everyone i talk to at the hospital judges me ☹️#ive been sitting on the same spot on my bed fr hours j thinking#its hard tho bc my head hurtssss bro#idk how many of yall have had an alc withdrawal headache but its like#its its own kind of headache. its different than any other kind ive had n it like#makes everything fuzzy n its hard to think straight i dunno#so im j sat here in this hole of like#i wanna go to the er no i shouldnt i can just do this at home but ive tried doing it at home so many times n it never works but maybe this +#+ time will be different bitch you say that every time its never different go to the er they’ll help you maybe going to the er is dramatic +#+ i could make a drs appointment bro at this rate youre not gonna live long enough to make it to a drs appointment i wanna drink so bad +#+ its been hours since my last drink oh my god maybe im faking this its literally been so long since my last drink youre so dramatic youre +#+ a 23 yr old who drinks a lil too much sometimes the drs are literally gonna take one look at you and laugh youre not a fucking alcoholic +#+ you wanna have problems so bad bitch IVE LITERALLY GOTTEN DRUNK EVERYDAY the past 4 days!!! i drink at work!! maybe youre not an +#+ ‘alcoholic’ but bitch you have PROBLEMS GO TO THE ER iwannadrinkiwannadrinkiwannadrink is there even any point in going maybe i should j +#+ perish instead i cant do this anymore bro im so tired i really should go to the er no i absolutely shouldnt i can do this at home i can +#+ pull myself out of this i j have to figure out how to start how do i do that tho where do i start i need help i cant do this on my own +#+ go to the er go to the er go to the er i wanna drink
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fvckme-sir · 2 years ago
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pink lemonade
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summary; your boyfriend reiner throws a fit and storms out, and eren takes advantage of the liquid courage in his system and the time alone
warnings: alchohol, intoxicated characters, infidelity
a/n; this fic was slightly inspired by the song pink lemonade by the wombats💞
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you laugh at eren as he sloppily downs another blowjob shot off of your coffee table, taking them down the traditional way by only using his mouth. seeing as he was already a decent amount of shots in, he was just getting messier and more giggly. as his head lifted back down and he released the shot glass with his mouth with a small clink, you noticed the whipped cream sitting on his nose.
as a friend does, you lean over and wipe it off with your thumb and eren goes cross eyed trying to track your thumb as he goes “whatcha doinnnn?” with a grin plastered on his face. you show him the thumb with a small chuckle. “cleanin up after the kids,” you say before sucking the whipped cream off your thumb. 
moments after, you hear a scoff of disbelief as you look up to your own boyfriend, reiner, and his jaw is on the floor. “y’kiddin me?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest before you shrug. “what’s goin on, is everything ok?”
“y’don’t see any problem with that?”
“with what?”
“you shouldnt have a problem with me leaving then, yeah?”
he says before snatching his hoodie off the counter and grumbling his way out the door, leaving a very lost and slightly tipsy boyfriend at the mercy of eren and company. your eyes make their way back to mikasa who shrugs before picking up one of the shots for herself and downing it- in a normal manner, she never was one for party traditions.
at least an hour later eren had slowed down, mikasa had sped up and armin was already out on the couch, whipped cream sitting on the corner of his pink lips. eren, although slowing down, still had the effects of drinks in his system and you were feeling pretty light yourself. you’d been peeking at your phone, wondering what reiner was doing before mikasa snatched it away and tossed it under a couch pillow. “he left, he’s his own responsibility now, dont worry about it.” to which you just nodded and tried to reassure yourself all was well.
“wanna get some air?” eren says, bringing your mind back to present as you noticed he was standing and his hand was out in an offering to you. “course, someone’s gotta make sure you dont try to jump in the pool.”
“its five stories, i wouldn’t-”
“you’ve tried, and i barely stopped you.”
“yeah ok whatever man.”
you laugh as he hauls you up and doesn’t let go of your hand as he takes you out to the balcony of his apartment to gaze out at the sky. he takes the o shaped chair with a large cushion while you opt for the hammock as you both enjoy the quiet night in front of you.
“i don’t like the way he treats you,” eren says suddenly, making you look over at him but he just continued looking at the dark sea of the night sky illuminated by stars. “reiner?”
“yes, of course,” he says in a matter of fact tone like it was supposedly the most simple thing on earth. his jaw was clenching as you brought the man up and his sock covered foot tapped a bit on the ground. “i just… he’s such a kid, leaving you here, constantly having to work late and leaving you alone, the way he checks out girls when he’s got a pretty damn lookin boy on his arm- he doesn’t realize how great he’s got it. lemme ask you this- when was the last time he blew you?” eren asks with a straight face as he finally turns to look at you.
“whoa eren-” you start but he shakes his head and waves his hand, as if dismissing the conversation he had started entirely… but he wasnt wrong. “i dunno, maybe like 5 months ago?” you ask, your shock being waved away by eren’s own hand movements. he was a friend, so it wasnt that odd to ask. the moment you say that, his eyebrows shoot up and he chuckles and shakes his head in disbelief.”thats my fuckin point, then stormin off like a kid after mommy says no candy in a fuckin wal-mart, come on-” he says, shaking his head before he rests his head on his own knee.
“he’s not always like this-” you start yet again before he stops you, jolting up with a look of just annoyance in his eyes as they meet yours. “yeah but it’s like this often enough for you to call me upset. does he even kiss you? how does he kiss you?” eren asks, obviously heating up. “is it quick or is it deep?” his eyes bore holes into your own.
“well- i guess pretty quick-”
“exactly my point!”
“eren, that’s enough!”
your yelling shocks him as all the anger drains from his face and his blood runs cold and he realizes what he’s done, but it seems to all go rushing back before he jolts up and reaches for your waist and before you can even react, he tugs your body against him, one hand going to your waist and the other to your cheek as his lips firmly press against you, making your gasp of shock cut short as your mouths connect.
your mind goes absolutely haywire before his tongue against your lower lip slides all your thoughts out of your brain and you melt against him. your eyes grow heavy and close while all eren can do is just praying you’re not horrified and not going to pull away and never speak to him again.
frankly, you’re not sure what to do. your best friend is kissing you as deeply and as filthy as he possibly can while still wearing his clothes. you had a boyfriend, you had reiner and eren knew this, the two men had a love hate relationship, and remembering that fact at this very moment made you wonder as to whether or not jealousy was the cause. erens lips moved slowly yet passionately and for a few more moments you debate what your next course of action should be before you just decided fuck it. you loved reiner but it didn’t feel like he really loved you all of the time, but eren loved you, all of you at every given moment, and that’s what you wanted in this very moment.
after a few moments of your bodies pressed together your lips finally split up. he’s panting, his chest moving up and down as his cheeks are pink from embarrassment and breathlessness, and he just chuckles and steps away before you grab his belt loops and pull his body against yours before hiding your face in his chest. 
“he’s never kissed me like that… i need more kisses like that.”
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erefics · 3 years ago
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afterglow by erefics
synopsis: reader has had a rough day of first classes, and comes home in tears to a supportive eren. now, his only purpose is to make you feel better in any way he can.
content warnings: female bodied reader, corruption, daddy kink, daddy!eren, major praise kink, breeding, use of the pet name puppy but no pet kink
word count: 1.7k
*all characters are aged up and in college*!
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your eyes had been swollen and puffy as your feet shuffled across the hallway back to your shared apartment with boyfriend eren. they dragged across the tile, making it evident you’d been tiresome and overpowered from the harsh and cruel school day.
not only were your classes harder than you expected, but the other students were relentlessly mean all day to you. they hadn’t given you a break the entirety of the day, teasing you and making you run to the bathroom stall in order to dry the tears falling down your perfect pink cheeks.
thankfully, eren had always been there for you when you came home from school. he got out of his last period before you, which was a perfect way to be greeted in the living room by him after dealing with the harsh reality of college.
“what’s wrong, doll?” he immediately noticed the poor little grimace on your face, which you tried so desperately to hide. it wasn’t because you didn’t want to tell him what happened per say, it was just the fact that you struggled opening up about your feelings. you were so sensitive, so easily broken. he knew that. and he knew when something was most definitely wrong with his puppy.
“what—‘m okay, eren,” you lied bashfully, covering your reddened cheeks with your hand, but your palm was too small to conceal the tears.
he clicked his tongue, shaking his head slowly. it didn’t take him long to catch on, and he moved your hand off of your face by force, pinning it down to your side.
“what did i tell you about hiding your feelings from me, princess?” his voice deepened.
you looked up at him rather slowly, it took you a moment to make full eye contact because you’d been stalling from that for so long now. he was quite intimidating when looking at you so directly.
“i…’m not hiding anything,” you continued to lie, surprising even yourself by the amount of perseverance you were showing.
his grip on your wrist only grew tighter, which started to startle you a bit.
“speak up for daddy, dollface. i’m not gonna bite you for talking about your feelings,” eren raised his bushy eyebrows, even puckering his lips into a very tempting pout. that was all you needed to spill out your feelings to him.
“well, my day just wasn’t the best…’started with chemistry, got asked to leave because i hadn’t been prepared, apparently you have to ‘bring your own goggles’. shouldnt that be included in the tuition? and my mathematics professor is a total dick. but don’t get me started on the girls who’d been teasing me all day…calling’ me names and stuff, talking behind my back and already starting rumors. then on the way home from the campus i tripped on an empty soda can and was pretty much out of breath and started crying and—“
“y/n!” eren interrupted your ramble, soothing your pulsing heartbeat with a hand on your chest. his fingers stroked the side of your jaw softly, wiping the excess tears that hadn’t yet dried, or fallen to the floor. “‘s okay, i’m here now,” he brought you into an embrace, finally, ridding you of all sadness. “what kind of assholes would say anything like that about my precious puppy?” he removed his hands from your back, keeping the same eye contact from before.
“dunno. ‘don’t even wanna go back tomorrow,” you sighed, plopping down onto the sofa next to eren, crossing your arms as if throwing a hissy fit.
“well you’re here for now, angel. you’re safe. and in my comfort. i’m here to always make you feel the best you possibly can,” eren followed you, sitting on the sofa and grabbing you by the hips and placing you on his lap, your back facing his stomach. his hand traced lightly down the side of your neck, humming to himself ever so quietly. you could barely even hear, but it was faint enough. “daddy won’t let anybody make you feel like that again,” he hummed, his hand rimming the silhouette of your shoulder, moving its way down your arm softly, giving yourself chills.
you giggled a bit at the soft ticklish feeling of his hand trailing down your clean and untainted skin.
“shhh, puppy. let me make you forget that bad day, yeah?”
you jolted in his lap a bit as his hand made its way across your lap, gripping the fat of your thigh and squeezing it until your aching core felt the effects of it. “y–yes, daddy,” you nodded, starting to let yourself enjoy his strokes of love, eyes even closing through instinct. you simply let go while he took over the controls of your body.
“such a pretty body. do you know that, y/n? that you have such a delicate, fucking untouchable body. it’s too bad i’m gonna touch it, then. gonna touch it real good.” eren nodded to himself, his hand gripping your cunt through your skirt, almost as if he was taking a handful of you. the fact you’d been fully clothed still yet you felt so fucking wonderful as the pressure exceeded against your clit–was magical.
“yes, yes! real good, daddy,” you blurted out, back arching against his lap.
“mhm, i know, i know, shhh.” his fingers uncovered your panties by pushing the pleated skirt above his hand, towards your torso. the fabric was so thin and mesh, you could see everything through the undies. eren had taken one swipe of his finger down your slit, and that was enough to know how wet you’d been. “fuck, fuck. you’re gushing, pup. how fucking pretty is that?” he mumbled, holding up his finger with your juices coated on it, dripping down the digit.
“‘already so wet, ‘m sorry. you know ‘m sensitive, daddy. can’t handle the things you say,” you beg for his sympathy.
“course you can sweetheart. you can, and you will handle me,” eren kissed the gap between your neck and shoulder, simultaneously pushing your panties aside to begin rubbing through your slick cunt. “oh, oh yeah…i love how that feels, princess.”
his fingers moved like light work against your clit, using muscle memory from your previous encounters together because he’d already known the things you liked. soft and slow we’re the two key words. “being so good for me. letting daddy touch you how he pleases, hm? that’s my good girl. such a pretty cunt. feels so good i bet. you have to tell me. tell me how it feels, okay?”
“ ‘feels good!! eren, eren, please. can you go a little faster?” you’d asked him, struggling through your words. eren didn’t even respond before picking up the speed of his fingers on your clit. he’d been waiting for the signal to go faster forever. he’d ached for ages to move from slow to fast and soft to rough. but he only wanted to do the things you were comfortable with. “oh!! fuck, ‘s feeling good eren!”
“just like this? i knew you’d like that, puppy,” he smirked into your shoulder as you squirmed around in his lap, moving your hips with your own mighty power to add extra pressure to your clit, along with his fingers already rocketing inside you.
“‘m so close!!” you cried.
“i thought so, hm. of course i wanna let you cum. but i think it’d be more enjoyable if you did so with this pretty little cunt wrapped around my cock?”
“yes, yes!! yes, ‘m so desperate to feel myself on your cock, daddy. ‘s too much, want more though”
he chuckled, using his other hand to unbuckled himself underneath you, proving to be rather good at doing two things at once. touching you and unbuckling.
within seconds, he aligned himself with your leaking cunt, putting pressure with his tip on your clit first, which matter of fact had been throbbing and pulsating, waiting to be overstimulated to the point of climax.
“eren!! oh!!” you cried out, body bending over forward like jello as his tip just satisfied you a bit too much as it pressed against your cunt. “put it in please!! put it in!”
“so impatient, hm. remember i’m doing this because you had a bad day.” he spoke, and mid sentence, he pushed his length slowly inside your walls. “and this is special treatment,” he finished, pushing himself in all the way to the hilt.
eren kept himself aligned while inside of you, somewhat still aside from your occasional squirming giving stimulation to his length.
he placed soft kisses against the back of your neck, lifting hair out of the way first, letting you adjust to his size for a few moments before finally starting to add movement, going steady enough to just give you relief to breathe out.
“daddy!!” you leaned back against him, hands reaching for anything to grab as you started moving vertically against his cock, that pretty, tiny body rocking up and down to feel good.
“daddy loves you,” he murmured softly into her ear as he added more frequent thrusts into her hole, moving her entire body up a few inches off the sofa which proved how intense his power was. “you know daddy loves you, right, pup?”
“mhm, yes! d-daddy loves me,” you repeated after him.
it only took a few moments more before you’d been too stimulated and you released yourself while he’d been inside you. the noises you made were so pretty and loud once you finished, it had signaled eren to cum with you. there was no warning or hesitation, he simply emptied himself inside your little pretty cunt, his load leaking out of you and onto both of your thighs, causing a rather evident mess.
“feel okay, my dear?” he spoke softly, squeezing your body tight against his chest. you nodded, rocking whatever energy you had left against his cock even after finishing, proving you still had some left in you.
“now i’m gonna need you to tell me every name of every student that hurt your feelings today.”
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fandomsnstuff · 5 years ago
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Angus figures everything out and fucks up Lucretia’s whole Thing AU
Lucretia hires angus, innoculates him, and is like this is the deal with those missing people cases you were investigating
Angus says oh okay! This totally and completely satiases my curiosity :)
Internally angus says this is sus as hell
So he does what he does best, he snoops
So angus is snooping and somehow, cause he's a little crime boy who can sneak around real good, he finds the starblaster
He's like what the fuck is this
He gets in, and it's.....odd. he doesnt linger in any one room too long, he just kind of pokes his head into the bedrooms and moves on (he figures he shouldnt stay here too long, lest he get caught)
But the most peculiar thing is how lived in this place looks. There's mismatched furniture with throw pillows and blankets in the common area, a chore chart on the fridge, the bedrooms are all cluttered with knick knacks and clothes, beds unmade, theres a lab with papers scattered around tables and taped to the wall
But one room catches his attention
It's... fairly simple, and emptier than the others. Bookshelf with some books missing, a bare desk, but what catches his attention is the pile of red on the bed
He goes to investigate and finds robes and jackets, all with an odd patch and names embroidered on them
He finds, in this order:
A robe with "lucretia" embroidered on it
A jacket and robe, together as if someone had been wearing them at the same time, with "lup" and "taako"
A jacket with "davenport"
A robe with "merle"
A jacket with "magnus"
(there’s no barry robe cause he fell off the ship with it, these are the robes/jackets lucretia took off of the crew members as she sent them off to their new lives)
Now. This is after crystal kingdom and angus was at the candlenights party. He knows the director's name is lucretia
He knows who Davenport is
He knows who taako, magnus, and merle are
This is pre-LUP incident, so he doesnt know who lup is
Angus, appropriately freaked out, puts them all back and BOLTS
Angus vacates the premises
Runs back to his room
He tries to figure out what this all means, but his thoughts dodge around the obvious conclusion that's right in front of him
Hes too nervous to go back, it's not until the L U P incident that he decides okay. I have to go back
So he goes back. He goes into the room labeled Captain's Quarters (although "captain" has been scratched out and changed to "cap'nport". Angus doesnt think too hard about what that means)
In the desk he finds some folders with the same weird logo as the robes and jackets. He doesnt look in them. Not yet. He can do that back in his room. He cant spend too much time here.
Then he goes to the lab. He doesnt know what hes looking for, but he grabs ones that seem important. A notebook or two. Some papers clipped together. He just grabs and shoves them into his bag and he fuckin bolts again
he looks at what he grabbed and some of it he can read, some of it he can't
They lived in that ship. They were going on a mission for something. They made the grand relics to stop something. Theres a lot of notes on the planes.
Angus recognizes the way some stuff is redacted, and he kind of figures out that there must be another voidfish. And if the directors name was on one of those robes, maybe she has it.
Refuge mission comes and goes
Angus, cause he's so fucking good, is able to sneak back into lucretias personal quarters and finds junior. He fills a water bottle with the ichor and gets the fuck outta there
He gets back to his room, innoculates himself and is like AAAAAAAAAA
Cause he can finally put it all together properly
And he basically pieces together the whole hunger situation himself with the notes he grabbed
The stuff he grabbed from davenports room was the crew's like profiles or whatever from when they got hired on to the mission so angus now knows who lup is
So angus is like oh i GOTTA fix this
So he heads down to the reclaimers dorm with his bottle of ichor
Angus: i need you to drink this Merle: what is it? Angus: voidfish ichor Taako: *laughs* hate to break it to you kid, we already drank the voidfish juice. Angus: just- please? Magnus: yeah alright
So magnus drinks it. His breath catches and he kinda goes weak and he's shaking and he drops to his knees. After a minute or two (or more) he looks up at angus. "Holy shit," he says. He grabs the bottle from where he dropped it and holds it out to taako and merle. "Drink it." He says.
"Yeah alright," merle says. Same deal as with magnus.
Once merle collects himself, they both turn to taako.
"Yeah, alright. Sure. Let's get taako in on this weird party," he says, taking the bottle and drinking
This time, magnus is ready and he catches taako when his knees give out
"Im gonna fucking kill her," taako mumbles into magnus' shoulder, his knuckles white as he grips his shirt.
"You're not gonna kill her."
"Im gonna fucking hit her so HARD, i swear to god."
Taako keeps his face in magnus' shoulder, but magnus and merle watch as angus crosses the room to where taako had left the umbrastaff, and he walks back over to magnus and taako on the floor
"Sir?" Taako looks up at angus. Angus holds the umbrella out, "i think i know where your sister is."
(Lup, meanwhile, in the staff: HEEEEELLLLL YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)
It takes taako a second, but he realizes what angus is saying and scrambles out of magnus' hold and to his feet. He takes the umbrella and lifts it, about to snap it when angus says, "wait!"
Taako glares at him. "Ive waited ten years, kid. Make it snappy." "Madame director had a holy symbol in her office. I think it would ward against your sister, if shes a lich." "Uuugggggghhhhhhhhh LUCRETIAAAAAA"
The four of them go down planetside under the guise of a magic lesson and not wanting to burn any more "cryptic messages" into the walls
Taako snaps that fuckin umbrella as soon as his feet hit solid ground
Lup's back!
Lup does some magic shit to summon barry, so barold shows up, happy reunion, and then a Discussion on what to do re: davenport not being innoculated and re: lucretia
Their plan boils down to this: thb and angus will go back to the moon and act as if this never happened. As far as lucretia knows, thb are still under junior's influence
As soon as they can get davenport alone without rousing any suspicion, they bring him to their room and innoculate him. Once he's got his memories back, he'll be powerful enough to a) get his bracer off/disable the tracking spell in it and b) get off the base undetected
Davenport will definitely not want to go back to playing butler, so he'll sneak off the base and hang out with lup and barry until lucretia sends the boys to wonderland
When the boys get sent to wonderland, theyll meet up, get the bell all together, and THEN confront lucretia, cause at that point theyll have the whole light, and they'll have Options
So they do just that. They go back and innoculate davenport a few days later, a week at most
A panic ensues once everyone realizes davenport is missing
AND the tracking in his bracer is turning up nothing
Lucretia's blood pressure has never been higher
But everything goes as business per usual
Lucretia, oddly enough, suspects nothing re: the boys ‘cause surely they wouldve confronted her if they remembered
The boys get sent down to wonderland. They meet up with blupjeans and dav at the entrance. With the six of them with all their memories and full access to their skills they take edward and lydia down in like 30 minutes. Tops.
So edward and lydia get their asses thoroughly handed to them by the six of them
(Davenport has the time of his LIFE)
They head back to the lich cave, barry gets in his new body and gets innoculated (the boys brought some ichor with them for him)
Lup possesses barry, then barry-with-lup and dav get in the pocket spa and back up to the moon they go
Lucretia is in her office when avi comes knocking "Uh... director? The boys are coming back." "Already?" "Yeah." "Are you sure it's them?" "Yep."
Lucretia is.... stunned. It's been... an hour and a half. Two, maybe. She has full faith in the boys but they took down wonderland in two hours?????
Not even two hours
She goes to meet them, highly suspicious
But they arrive and, sure enough, it's them. No magic. No tricks. It's them, for sure.
taako has the bell and hes just holding it casually from the top as if it isnt one of the most powerful magic items in existence. And she can tell he isnt thralled, that's just how hes decided to transport it.
Lucretia: ive got to admit, you boys took care of that...much faster than i expected Magnus: ah, it was no big Merle: piece of cake! Taako: yeah, luce, shit was easy. Dunno what you were talkin' about earlier.
And lucretia just freezes. Luce. Thats what taako called her. It’s what they all called her, really, but it’s the nickname Taako took 4 whole cycles to give to her, officially cracking the door of friendship open to her. And she looks him in the eyes and she knows that he knows. And she looks at merle and magnus and she can tell they know, too.
And taako gives her a venomous smile, all teeth, and says, "why dont we go have a little chat, madame director" and she flinches at the way he spits out her title
She doesnt know what to do but nod and turn to leave. As she turns, there's angus, looking up at her with a determined set to his brow, and she knows he knows too
They head back to her office, and taako pulls the pocket spa out, and before lucretia can ask him what hes doing, out walks barry and davenport. And barrys eyes have got that red glow about them, so she knows lup's here too.
"Take down the lich ward, lucretia," barry says.
She does, and now there's a firey, red robed lich among them.
Now this is where things get a little iffy for how they work out but here's what i got
They have a similar confrontation as canon where theyre bickering about staying or going, shield or no shield, and im thinking this is where taako has his "there's a third option" realization
And, because they did extreme wonderland speedrun, and they didnt take a whole extra day to travel to the lich cave and just used fuckin magic to get there, theyre a whole day ahead of where they were in canon
The hunger is close enough at this point tho that they can enact the plan like. Now.
But magnus insists on returning Fisher's baby to them first
As magnus takes junior, lucretia works on getting the base secured and getting the bureau members ready for if the hunger touches down before they can cut it off
Magnus goes down to fisher with the baby, he takes his axe and swings, breaking the tank open
Johann, still alive and now soaking wet, is like dude wtf
Magnus returns the baby and out goes the story and song
Now johann is REALLY like DUDE WTF
Magnus is like im off to save the universe. Peace.
So since theyre a whole day ahead of the hunger, all seven of them go up in the ship
And then they fight and they win and they cut the hunger off and it's rad
The end
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insomnihan · 3 years ago
Text
han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “BEcause”
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WE ARE F UCKING UNDER ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ALRIGHT SO-
THE SONG WHERE DO I START WELL- I SAW A COMMENT SOMEWHERE THAT WAS LIKE ‘THIS HAS GOODNIGHT CREEPINESS WITH RED SUN ESSENCE’ WHOEVER THAT WAS YOUR BRAIN IS GINORMOUS™ AND WRINKLY- IF YOU LISTEN TO IT THE SLIGHT SUMMER VIBE IS TOTALLY THERE YET THE PIANO AND THE HARP (MAYBE I DUNNO BUT WHAT I DOONO IS THAT IT SLAPS) THE PRE CHORUS BUILD UP FAST AS HELL THE DRUMS ARE FAST AS S HIT THE CLOCK IS SO CREEPY THE GUITAR IS JUST ASDFFJGHLHKL;;’ THE DOUBLE TIME DURING DAMIS RAP THAT WAS LITERALLY™ AN ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY LIFE (they were this 👌 close istg) AND THEN THE BRDIGE…………………… SOMEONE TAKE THE WHEEL-
AND THEN THEIR VOICES POWERFUL AS ALWAYS AND THAT F UCKING DISTORTION S HIT DURING ‘FOREVER LOVE AND FOREVER MINE’ IS ACTUAL DR*GS- i dunno what it is but the instrumental being like that and then (to me anyway) theres such a sweet undertone (???) in how they sing and then knowing the lyrics likE I KNOW THEYRE OBSESSED- B O I DO I MISS A FAST DAMI RAP P L E A S E I FEEL LIKE SHES THREATENING ME I LOVE THAT PSYCHO NOISE B ICYJ- THAT BRIDGE IS F UCKING CRAZY SIYEONS AND HANDONGS AND YOOHYEONS GENTLE VOICES AND THEN S U A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUREALLYGOTTACOMEOUTOFTHELEFTGODDAMNFIELDWITHTHATICANTSTANDYOUHOWDAREYOUJUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hello hello for the dance section i will be using THE mcountdown performance yEAH THE ONE POSTED BEFORE THE ACTUAL MV/ALBUM DROP- FIRST OF ALL THE INTRO sorry i have to talk about this theyre so creepy and doll like and jiu is so menacing lIKE WHAT THE F UCK IS THAT (someone answer me what iN THE F CUK did she feed yoohyeon)- NOW ANYWAY I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THE ACTUAL DANCE-
OFF THE BAT THE MIRROR INTRODUCTION IS *CHEFS KISS* and then gahyeon choking jiu?????????? LORE????????? IN CHOREOGRAPHY?????????
LISTEN. L I S T E N. ALL OF THEM LIFTING YOOHYEON AT 1:29 LIKE THATS INSANE AND SO FITTING FOR THIS SONG AND VIBE plus yknow………………… handong doing a lot of the lifting………… 👉👈
this specific video doesnt show it during suas verse (which is like Rude™ but fine they show it elsewhere obv) but when shes singing and the rest of them are dropping down slowly………………… yeah-
THE CHORUS EVERY👏SINGLE👏F UCKING👏TIME👏 LIKE THE POSE THEY DO FOR ‘BE’?????????????? THE POWER AND THE GENIUS™ OF IT??????????????????????
DAMI UNHAND ME UNHOLY DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the bridge…………… the rocking from side to side…………… whatever the f uck handong and yoohyeon are doing…………… it was almost like sua was controlling everyone right like deadass im scared-
THE DANCE BREAK PLS LET ME BREATHE
the ending with everyone bowing but gahyeon…………
BICTH……………… BICHY- THE VISUALS JUST KEEP LEVELING THE F UCK UP THATS LIT RALLY INSANE I LOVE THAT FOR THEM- the moment that mystery code was revealed and we were getting demented creepy carnival i waS V I B R A T I N G™ WITH EXCITEMENT the creepy scenery of the  dark hotel lobby and the rundown carnival with the merry go round and teacups AND WITH A CULT and the hallway with the mirrors and the lights (like the use of SO much red and green……… the symbolism………) JUST EVERYTHING IS SO F UCKING ABANDONED AND S HIT- THE LITERAL MIRRORING AND DIMENSION S HIT WHAT THE F UCK!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT CREEPY ASS ROOM WHERE THEY KIDNAPPED GAHYEON IN AND SIYEON WAS ACTING ALL TWITCHY OR WHATEVER WHAT WAS THAT-
TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED
youtube
THE WHOLE GODDAMN THI-
(jk ☺️)
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OFF THE BAT GAHYEON MAIN CHARACTER I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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…………………… i just wanted to put this here-
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i just wanted to put this here too-
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HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE
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id like to think that the real handong is one getting dragged away and the one standing is the doppelganger (for Plot™ purposes)
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W H A T T H E F U C K
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I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY OTHER THAN IM SCARED-
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G OD WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE THIS PART WAS SO WEIRD WHAT DOES THIS MEAN WHAT DOES IT MEAN
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HELLO??????????????????
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yeah sure let me take this apple from this broken mirror where another me lies within the walls of this creepy hotel anD EAT IT
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W E L P-
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………………………………… F-
T H E M
I DUNNO HOW IM BREATHING RN-
JIU
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whaT IN THE F UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SCENE IN THIS SCREENSHOT IS ALREADY A LOT the way she looks seemingly unassuming and harmless in that reception desk that brown and white outfit (is her hair in like………… pigtails???) and then the smile to the instant glare you jusT KNOW youre gonna d*e in that place- MAAAAN BANGS OR NO BANGS SHES STUNNING EITHER WAY AND THATS SO RUDE………… the white dress and those red ACTUAL TALONS will be the d*ath of me
SUA
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if i counted correctly she had three (3) different outfits??? outside of the dance ones??? white and red then black and purple then that green and black one??? i think of all of those i really like the red and the green one theres SOMETHING ABOUT THEM i think the green one with the big puffy sleeves more NOT BC ITS MY FAVORITE COLOR I SWEAR the green looks silky and then she also has the thing on the side of her face the pearls in her hair- AND THEN THAT RED ONE with the white sleeves and the frilly collar dude whAT THE F UCK LIKE I KNOW WE SAW IT A LOT BUT I WANNA SEE MORE THO……………
SIYEON
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OKAYOKAYOKAY LOOK- THIS OUTFIT IN THIS SCREENSHOT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT LIKE IT YET I DO????????????? two completely different looking patterns that animal print and the strips and then that big ass belt (???) around her waist like this shouldnt be like a GOOD look i dont think……… truly only She™ could make this look work 😔😔😔 i got A LOT A LOT to say about the red and orange plaid crop top and skirt with the different colored clips in her head but the only thought going through my Dumb of Ass Stupid Brain™ iS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
HANDONG
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY NATURAL BLONDE BELOVED this white dress and the BLACK BOOTS AND THE CHOKER SHE BETTER S TOP- AND DO NOT I REPEAT D O N O T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON THAT SHORT WHITE DRESS WITH THE WHITE BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOEVER STYLED HER YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME AND THE OTHER HANDONGISTS YET I ALSO LOVE YOU SO MUCH the one with the pink dress dont talk to me dont approach me donT EVEN F UCKING LOOK AT ME IM GOING THROUGH A LOT RN
YOOHYEON
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im really Dumb of Ass™ i thought that one pink and (maybe???) super light blue dress had a clock on it- BUT MOVING ON FROM THAT the space buns and whatever those accessories those are and the pink makeup this is sO- then the white dance outfit with those (mesh??? lace??? i just know that its see through-) sleeves and those big ass earrings THAT LOOK AT 2:24 the boots (yeah i gotta mention that first since i just ALWAYS have to mention them) the white blazer all those pearl long ass necklaces and whatever that is on the side of her face why do her visuals HURT SO BAD-
DAMI
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bicth…………………………………… B I C T H- WHAT HAS THIS WOMAN BEEN DOING??????!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?! THIS OUTFIT IS SUCH AN ATTACK I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS ON HER FACE THIS WHOLE LOOK IS SOMETHING ELSE™ her tattoo 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 that bottom part of her hair is kinda clapped tho honestly- the pig tails?????? braids?????? in the dancing part on the black and white tiles IM DOWN YALL IM DOWN SO BAD AND ITS F UCKING RUDE™ THAT WE DONT SEE S HIT OF THAT DRESS AT THE END-
GAHYEON
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IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN LEE👏GAHYEON👏MAIN👏CHARACTER👏I👏KNOW👏THATS👏RIGHT👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS RED HAIR IS A BLESSING (especially in that high ponytail i-) SHE IS ATTACKING ME BUT YKNOW WHAT THATS OKAY- im SURE theres a plot significance to her two different dresses the mostly black and the mostly white but my brain can only register WOMAN PRETTY that white one in particular…………… the choker with her hair up and those boots…………… i saw it clear as day and im d wording over it-
BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (thoughts and parts i liked)
Intro
i usually expect the intro to be like SUPER HYPE AND INTENSE yknow which it kinda is! however it is consistent that it fits very well and captures the overall vibe of the entire album the calm beginning with the bell like were walking into an establishment and at the halfway point it picks up its intriguing and the ‘i like you’ adds a subtle eeriness that adds just enough to make one wanna continue listening its v good 👌
Airplane
LISTEN……………… LISTEN- this is the VERY LAST genre i expected out of this group YET im not even a little bit shocked that they did this like this cutesy izone-esque summer bop of a song is a DREAMCATCHER™ song……………… YALL- THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN THAT ‘AIRPLANE LALALALALALA~~~~~~~’ BRINGS IS SOMETHING SO PERSONAL THIS SECOND GENERATION SUMMERY ASS INSTRUMENTAL WHAT IN THE F UCK- I FEEL LIKE IM RUNNING ON THE BEACH I FEEL THE COLD WIND OF THE WATER BUT THE HEAT OF THE SUN AGAINST MY SKIN AND IM PLAYING WITH A DAMN BEACH BALL WITH A COCONUT DRINK (I F UCKING H*TE LEAVING MY HOUSE) JIU AND DAMI SOUND SO F UCKING PHENOMENAL
Whistle
im pretty firm on believing these b sides represent different times of a summer day and this is the late evening or twilight like not nighttime but CLOSE- i thought i wasnt gonna like the whistling part but that only makes it catchieR THIS SONG IS MAKING ME YEARN AND TRYING TO RECALL LOVELY MEMORIES I DONT EVEN HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then again……………… theres always usually a song on their albums that make me unlock and feel hidden emotions………… THIS SONG GOT ME MISSING A PERSON THAT ISNT REAL this is such a mellow yet so powerful in the way they sing and express each syllable- they all did so good on this song but i gotta mention dami again for her part like oH mY gOoOoOooOoOOOooOD
Alldaylong
JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way this song was inspired by a hug jiu got from yoohyeon…………… THIS IS NOT A JOKE she said ‘i wanna try city pop’ anD SHE DONE DID IT- i have NO IDEA how this song managed to hold so much joy and light happiness in every word and instrument used in this but im :ccccccc i literally wanna hug someone after listening to this 😔😔😔 this also makes me yearn for something but at least this one isnt unrealistic or unobtainable i dont think! there are some songs out there that make me cry from its lyrics and its sound but THIS ONE the lyrics and just how happy this song is bro reading the lyrics im about to cry for like the fifth time- they who im love so much… :ccccccc doesnt it make you just wanna hug someone and tell them you love them????????? that you appreciate them??????????
해바라기의 마음 (A Heart of Sunflower)
i knew FOR A FACT FOR👏A👏FACT👏 that they were gonna have a ballad for this album bc road to utopia didnt have one i will admit i was one of the 🤡 that thought jiu would be credited on this song 😬😬😬 ANYWAY- AGAIN WITH THE DAMN YEARNING FOR SOMETHING BUT THIS TIME IM F UCKING SAD AS S HIT why must this song be so powerful to make me emotional before i even got to read the lyrics to fully grasp it……………………… now im truly yearning in the Sad™ way and waiting for some imaginary person who i dont even know will even come back…………………… those damn adlibs are pretty as hell it was sua (and i have to mention dami again okay shes really killing it on this she woNT LET ME LIVE-) who got me feeling this the most like yeah…………………… i am a fool…………… im a fool for loving and missing someone who just disappeared from my lifE G O D D A M N IT-
LIKE this is COMPLETELY surprising album BUT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE as its described it really is a ‘special’ album as while the title track still has their music style and sound theres still an element of summer (a very Terrifying™ summer BUT a ✨Summer✨ album nonetheless) like the b sides are SO different and COMPLETELY caught me off guard when i listened to the highlight medley YET this group of seven amazing and talented women pulled it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its extremely obvious at this point that their steady and organic growth has grown VERY HIGH this time and (although im still very confused by how everything was released and announced BUT i digress) this different kind of method in performing the song the day before seemed to work?????????? I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE this section could literally be summed to just I LOVE DREAMCATCHER SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
IN CONCLUSION: LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM BECAUSE ITS BOMB AS F UCK
AND AS ALWAYS
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brelione · 4 years ago
Text
Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)
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Warnings:Not proof read, swearing
Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.
Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.
You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.
You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.
 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.
Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.
That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.
But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.
JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.
The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.
Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.
The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.
 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.
Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.
 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.
You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 
“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 
“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 
“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.
He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.
“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.
 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.
 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.
You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.
You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.
You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.
You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.
You:????
Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?
You:Im not with Rafe
Kie:Seriously like are you ok
You:Im fine lol
Kie:But why are you with Rafe?
You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.
 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.
You:Can you keep a secret?
Kie:Yeah
You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?
Kie:You dumb idiot
Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?
Kie:Hoe you could do better
Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?
Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ
You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.
You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything
You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 
“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 
“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.
You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.
 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.
He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 
“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 
“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.
“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.
He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.
You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 
“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 
“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.
 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.
 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 
“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.
 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.
You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 
“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 
“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.
 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 
“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 
“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.
You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 
“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.
You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.
At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.
He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.
John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.
But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.
@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​
@sunwardsss @meaganjm​  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​ @prejudic3​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless
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uwumessenger · 4 years ago
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Can we get general headcanons for a scenario where obey me MC attending their sister's wedding and their sister is MC from mystic messenger 😳😳 I just think it'd be so funny for them to meet each other lmaooo and can mystic messenger MC be getting married to saeyoung ❤️ I love your blog btw you have some cute stuff 😭
mystic messenger x obey me simp nation RISE
ah yes i have been itching to get my hands on this request haha and thank you!! BUT OMG HAVE YOU BEEN IN MY BRAIN? BC OKAY SO LIKE TO FALL ASLEEP I ALWAYS NEED TO HAVE A SCENARIO PLAYING IN MY HEAD AND THIS WAS ONE OF THE SCENARIOS I HAD ONE TIME CJZMNDMSM i dont have an irl crush so all my romantic imaginations consist of the mystic messenger and obey me bois 😌💅🏻
Mystic Messenger MC is Obey Me! MC's sister and she invites the OM MC as well as the demon brothers to her and Saeyoung's wedding!!
(for the sake of lessening confusion, y/n is YOU and mc is the mystic messenger mc (and you can pretend it's you too or an oc i dunno) so let ur imagination run wild!!)
it's also assumed that y/n has already met the rfa, and y/n and mc do not have any other family members. but for some reason i picture that the reception count is large idk maybe all the mystic messenger characters have/made 20 mutual friends each djsksnjs just pretend the reception room is full 😭
also includes one or two spoilers for another story and the main plot for om!
this is long as hell btw dsjkskdjkjd but i separated it into parts + bolded stuff so hopefully it’s not as messy ! enjoy !
when y/n first got news of their sister's engagement, they talked everyone's ears off for WEEKS.
luckily diavolo was like you know what you can go if you take the brothers with you!!!
y/n was scared at first mainly bc um they are demons? and sometimes they act like 7 year olds? but ur like aight bet let's do this!!!!
time skip 2 the day of the wedding
(if ur a gal) y/n's sister made her the maid of honor
(if ur a mans) y/n will be the person walking mc down the aisle
so y/n had to be there fairly early to help with everything as well as get ready for the ceremony and reception
the entire 2nd floor of the nearest hotel to the wedding venue was rented out thanks to jumin !
the brothers took up a total of 2 rooms...lucifer, mammon, and asmo to one room / satan, beel, belphie, and levi to another
lucifer needed to be with mammon and asmo and practically kept them on an invisible leash considering that they have pretty bad self restraint in terms of their sin
but jumin also had to pull some strings to get the ceremony at a space station...hip hip hooray
the station said it was strictly only immediate family though, so the ceremony was just mc, saeyoung, y/n, jaehee (only bridesmaid/maid of honor if y/n is a boy), saeran, yoosung, jumin, zen, and v
saeyoung is in awe as he watches mc walk down the aisle...hes dreamed of this moment his entire life!
who would have known they'd actually manage to get married in a space station?? :')
after saying their vows, mc and saeyoung kissy kiss and all is HAPPY
idk how weddings work in terms of scheduling so let us simply time skip to the reception
the brothers pull up skrrt earlier than most guests but they arent the first ones to arrive
cue mammon, levi, and asmo arguing over where y/n should sit
satan interrupts and clarifies that y/n will be sitting at the head table with their sister. they r salty
oKAY UHHH time to start the reception!!
y/n and zen duetting???? beauty and the beast????? as they escort mc and saeyoung in for their slow dance???? YES PLEASE
like in the style of ariana grande and john legend
when the brothers see y/n as they sing the first line of the song they ! almost ! combust !
mc and saeyoung slow dance to the song and everyone has tears in their eyes. yoosung is crying into saeran's arms as saeran holds back tears. jaehee is crying bc she and y/n coordinated the entire thing and shes happy but also feeling stressed.
dinner is buffet style, and lucifer's attention and energy is now directed toward beel. this is a formal human event and not one of diavolo's parties where people are used to him hogging everything down...
but y/n was smart enough to help get the brothers' table to be seated next to the buffet so after all the other tables get their food beel could secretly go ham
the first interaction between rfa and the brothers happen between lucifer and v
v could see that lucifer was kinda struggling and decided to check in on him before checking in on the other guests
they end up talking a lot. mostly about how they both lied to their respective squads to try to protect them from the truth
lucifer of course tones the story down and doesnt give away that they r demons, though
y/n saw levi all pissy alone at the table so they grabbed yoosung and introduced him to levi. they were awkward at first but once yoosung mentioned LOLOL levi was all ears and they bonded over different games
y/n stays a bit to make sure levi doesnt reveal anything sus
meanwhile, asmo is flirting with zen. complimenting his singing from earlier as well as his rat tail
zen mentions that asmo's skin is glistening and the two of them go crazy over different skincare brands
asmo may or may not have accidentally said that he uses a lamb blood and aloe vera mixture yes i just made that up which confused zen but zen's reaction further confused asmo until asmo remembered !! im in the human world
so he played it off as a joke and told zen that he shouldnt furrow his eyebrows much otherwise he'll wrinkle quicker
as saeran walks to the ice cream station next to the buffet he sees beel holding an entire tray of fish with a suspicious looking belphie standing next to him
when belphie and saeran lock eyes the energy in that corner of the room turns so dark that you could see storm clouds forming over them : ◉ ∧ ◉ : ╏
anyway jaehee, like v, was checking in with the guests when she spots mammon investigating a gold doorknob
mammon nearly shits himself when jaehee taps him on the back and asks him if he is okay
satan compliments elizabeth the third when he sees jumin petting her on the balcony. they talk about cats for a while and jumin tells satan that he enjoys the company of another man elizabeth deems worthy to be in her presence
by the end of the night
everyone is helping with cleaning up the ballroom after all the other guests have gone
jumin thinks that beel is cool, since he ate all the food provided as well as the mochi party favors
mammon volunteers to take home all of the extra centerpieces and decorations. before lucifer says no, mc and seven tell mammon hes more than welcome to take them all home. it would just sit in their house and collect dust, anyway
when everyone is back in their hotel room (y/n stays with jaehee for the night so mc and saeyoung can get it on) yoosung invites levi to play some games with him in his room
zen shares a room with yoosung and eagerly watches the two boys playing
asmo needs to follow his sleeping schedule so he peacefully goes to sleep while dreaming of not-so-appropriate things. he’ll be back on his bullshit tomorrow
lucifer is trying to help mammon figure out a way to organize all the freebies he got to prevent all of it from falling everywhere when they go back to devildom. he also sets a centerpiece aside for diavolo to keep. cute!
belphie is knocked out and so is beel (food coma)
satan stays with jumin for a bit, wanting to be around elizabeth the third a bit longer, then returns to his room around 2am. he sees that levi isn’t back in the room and texts for him to return soon.
bonus!
mc and saeyoung are <3333333′ing
unfortunately y/n and jaehee can hear it, as well as v since their rooms sandwich mc and saeyoung’s
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flowerslightning · 4 years ago
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The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7
This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist
A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it
Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do
Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.
So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.
I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.
OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.
Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that
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Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.
Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.
OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive
| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)
| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left
Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.
I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,
She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"
Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"
She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"
We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated
It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that
If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.
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The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.
Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff
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And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.
But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.
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After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.
He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya
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Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours
He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"
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Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them
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Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).
Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.
However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.
Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"
Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.
Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.
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800-dick-pics · 5 years ago
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i cant tell how or what im feeling besides
“i am not ok, this isnt good, wow why is my life like this?” my mental health has been more rocky since mid feb, and i just cant get the care i need and it literally makes me bang my head into the wall, nobody with severe untreated mental illnesses gets a long in life to well, i feel like no matter how much i scream or beg for what i need nobody cares and just says “sorry I cant do that”  I dont have family or many friends to rely on and like my whole life ive been out here trying to do everything i can to be ok but ive literally never have been fucking ok, my early memories are fuckin horrific. im just so fucking tired of doing everything myself, even my own mental healthcare i dunno how i still can only get one therapy apt every 4.5 weeks when im telling you directly “I am at high risk for having suicide attempts and self harming behaviors, I know i need weekly individualized therapy to be stable and functional” like um hello!!??? are you understanding what is coming out of my mouth!??!?! I feel like i get fucking nowhere!!!! i just want the help i need and the help i ask for!! like im so painfully aware of the lack of help care or support i have with my mental illness, like time and time again the severity of my mental illness is downplayed or ignored by my family and friends and it hurts so so so much when i tell people “my mental and physical illnesses are disabling and limiting and I shouldnt be working because it puts me at risk of lots of things” everyone heres “im lazy and i dont care to try hard enough to take care of myself” when literally taking care of myself is what ive done my whole fucking life  dont rb ty
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golgoterror · 5 years ago
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Your name is Jake English and you’re about to fulfill your destiny.
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Ever since you were thirteen, you knew it had to be done. Your grandma had been killed for it, you were on your island became of it, and you had your last name as a result of it. Everything was set in stone. When John’s retcon blue faded and the eight of you now stood on a stage before Caliborn, a box, a strange bunny, and Lil’ Cal, it suddenly set in. This was when it was going to happen. You were going to give Lord English his first defeat.
==> Jake: Prepare
The first thing you notice is the cherub’s sickening laugh, which came about after initial confusion. This is almost like the trigger of a pistol because everyone jumps up and beings rummaging about, including yourself. Truth be told, you have no idea what in the fuck you’re doing. You haven’t even tried using your powers yet, nor do you believe you can. Your eyes leap from the bunny to the box to the puppet to the cherub, then back, looping around. Occasionally, you catch glimpses of your teammates. None of you know what to do. At this moment, you wonder if maybe, perhaps, you all bit off just a bit more than you lot could ever dream to chew.
None of you settle down until the green bastard before you leaps off his makeshift podium. Out comes a very strange, white house-looking thing. You’d ponder what it was, perhaps even noting the similarities between it and that symbol on the game’s papers, but you don’t have time. Suddenly, your grandmother ( but younger ) and her friends get sucked into it, and the box closes. Half your team is down. Is there really any hope of winning this? That’s all you can think as you half-hide behind Dirk, though keep your ground in front of the girls. 
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The sound of Caliborn hitting the box eats away at your brain. Are they safe? Are they hurt? Will he do that to the rest of you? A wave of questions crashes down on your mind, causing you to not think straight in the slightest. You barely even register Dirk demanding his puppet be returned. You blink, and suddenly, a fight breaks out.
==> Jake: Fight
Dirk, being in the front, is kicked down first, and Jane is thrown back. You’ll have none of that! No one hurts your friends, especially not with you in earshot! You’re a big, strong adventurer… Right? 
No. No, you’re not. You’re not a fighter. That point has hit you like a speeding bullet multiple times since you awoke from the trickster spell. But you’ll be damned if you aren’t going to help your friends. Which is your first move, as you rush to Jane to help her up. If you can’t fight, at least you can see if she’s alright. Minorly hurt, but nothing to write home about. Still, you’re furious. Anger is boiling over in you at the mere idea that he’d go after your dear friend. An attempt is made at the so-called defeat you’re ready to gift the cherub, a fist coming up as you turn around, when, suddenly -- he pushes you over and kicks you with such force, you’re sent back into the side of the stage. As pathetic as it is to say, this is enough to cause you to wobble as you get back up. One of your resulting stumbles lands in a bad place as no stage is there to catch your foot and you tumble to the floor below. 
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The force was a lot stronger than you’d ever care to admit. Now, like the weakling you are, you’re immobile on the ground, forced to listen to the grunts and moans of your three friends getting their asses handed back to them. Was that it? Your one shot at a defeat? Did you just doom your entire timeline because you fell off of a stupid stage?
All four of you are getting kicked and punched in a cycle, and none of you are getting up. The whines from your friends hurt more than any of the hits. You’ve failed at keeping your friends safe. In a matter of minutes, you’ve fucked up so badly, you can’t even reclaim your own last name. 
Pathetic.
Pathetic.
PATHE--
That last hit does you in. The edges of your sight get fuzzy before darkening. It hits you what’s happening, but not before you fall unconscious on the floor below you. 
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==> Jake: Black Out
Below you is your bed. On your head, your skulltop. Dirk just finished telling you some sort of story. A real kicker of a story, if you do say so yourself. So many twists and turns. How prodigious it was!
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GT: Anyhoo thats a heck of a tragic and thrilling tale dirk.  GT: I am still totally cockeyed and catawampus about it all i dont even know what to think.  TT: But you believe me, right? 
What… were you two talking about?
GT: Oh yeah every word of it!  TT: Wow.  GT: Why shouldnt i? You are my friend and i trust you. 
This feels strange.
TT: I still just think it's impressive, is all. Even after all this time. You are pretty much a one of a kind dude.  GT: Heh not really i just like believing stuff and believing in people.  GT: Wait what do you mean?  TT: About what?  GT: When you said after all this time?  GT: You just told me now!  TT: Yes.  GT: Hang on.  GT: Blarg! The deja vuey shit is happening again!!!  GT: Okay i am SURE weve had this conversation before so many things are familiar.  GT: I remember you saying the one of a kind dude thing and i remember saying the word catawampus and...  GT: All of it!  GT: Whats going on? 
You’re right. You have said this all before. Every word of it.
TT: Took you long enough to figure it out.  TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn.  GT: Figure what out!  TT: You're asleep.  GT: Oh. 
Of course. You’re asleep. And this isn’t Dirk. It’s Brain Ghost Dirk. You don’t remember falling asleep though… Or do you? Wasn’t something important happening? 
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GT: What… were we on about? GT: My goodness my mind is foggy… TT: Damn, you’re fucking forgetful. TT: This whole thing started with your grandma and Lord English. We then wrapped around about my timeline and here we are. GT: Wait what was that first thing? TT: Your grandma. GT: No after that. TT: My timeline. GT: Work with me strider for crying out loud!!! TT: Lord English. GT: Yeah! That!
Why is that so important? Those two words. They stick out like sore thumbs, causing you to bite your tongue.
GT: Oh! I was serving the guy up some slap stew! TT: More like he was serving you, bro.  GT: Oh. Right. TT: You can still turn it around, though.  GT: I can? TT: I dunno. You’re the hope guy, remember? GT: Haha. I thought i was. TT: What’s changed? GT: Oh you know nothing much just about EVERYTHING. TT: Well, do you think it’s worth a shot? GT: I mean id like to hope so. TT: There you go. GT: What? GT: Oh. GT: Hardy har har. TT: Dust yourself off and give it another go. Your words, not mine.
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Hearing that alone brought a smile to your face. Dirk, whether in Brain Ghost form or not, always believed in you. Maybe even enough to make you believe in yourself on rare occasions. That alone gave you some hope. 
GT: Then ive got some english ass to kick! GT: Wait i mean his ass not mine!!! TT: I gathered that much. 
==> Jake: Wake Up
At some point, you feel your eyes blink a few times. The sounds, which begin muffled and hide behind a ringing in your ears, become louder and louder, until they’re making your head swim. You’re not done. The fight isn’t over. 
Grabbing the side of the stage, you get up, regardless of how dizzy you feel. Roxy and Jane aren’t doing anything, so that only leaves one person to be leading the resistance. Climbing on stage, you see Dirk, incredibly hurt, but fighting nonetheless. He was always a fighter, something you wish you were more like. But he’s in bad shape. 
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What you did to him was wrong. Ghosting him was the worst thing you could have done, and you know that now. Do you still love him? Does it matter? He’s always been there for you, either as a lover or a best friend. You can’t stand to see him take a beating like this. Tears well in your eyes. Blinking them away just makes them run down your cheeks. When Dirk falls and Caliborn kicks him, that’s the last straw. You’re angry. So angry, in fact, you want to kick his ass. So much so, you’re going to do it. You’re going to kick his fucking ass.
==> Jake: Defeat This Poor Son Of A Bitch
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Flying into the air, you force yourself between the two and yell. You yell so hard, you barely even notice the glow around your body, the ball forming around you, or how the stage is being brightened up. The hope is so big and out of control, it swallows the three of you, though your intent is not to hurt Dirk. Caliborn is not so lucky. He’s yelling, which you can’t hear over your own screams and sobs. Eventually, the shield gets so big, Roxy and Jane are subject to it, along with everything around you guys. But you don’t want to destroy anything but Caliborn. 
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==> Jake: Calm Down
You’re so lost in your anger, you barely even know what’s happening. Then, a soft voice in your head tells you to calm down. As quick as it came, the ball is gone, though you’re still glowing. Once the anger clouding your eyes has blown away, you look down at whom you just defeated, who is currently staring up at the ceiling. He’s not hurt. At least, not physically, from what you can see, but he does look very broken. Exhaustion barrels into you and you fall to the floor, lying on your stomach, hands trying to push yourself back up. You can’t, but Dirk and Caliborn both do.
You’re unsure if you’ve fallen unconscious again or not, but three metallic horses land on the stage. The pure, unadulterated absurdity of this makes you wonder if this is some sort of fever dream, but you feel awake, so what the fuck. Though with a bit of added strength from them, you get to your hands and knees, then stand. 
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Caliborn is walking towards you four and, for a brief moment, you’re worried. Then, the famed red sprite Arquius comes out from the shadows ( was he always there? ) and grabs Caliborn by the neck from behind. The green asshole is choking, gasping for air, and you don’t know how to react. Luckily, the other three seem to be equally as shitting-their-pants scared as you are. This is only heightened when Dirk seems to attempt destroying them, their souls stretching and deforming, but it’s futile. As a last resort, everyone but you and your posse gets sucked into the puppet. Then, with a nod of Roxy’s head, the puppet is gone. 
You stand there in awe, wondering what just happened. Did you do it? Did you just defeat and, as a result, create Lord English? Does this mean the timeline isn’t doomed? As the other four lost kids return, you want to smile. You honestly, truly want to grin. This day has been built-up since your birth, yet, you feel empty. A fight was still going to go down. All you did was make one of the main targets all the more terrifying. But you had to. This was your purpose. 
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With a pat on the back from Dirk, almost to signal you had done something right, whether you believe that or not, you all get prepared for the final battle and the subsequent winning of the game. A part of you feels your job is done, though. 
Your name is Jake English and you just fulfilled your destiny. 
==> Jake: Get Ready To Kick Some Felt Ass
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tumblunni · 6 years ago
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The cafe at the hotel + a nice meal WITH TERROR LURKING
I specifically asked for no peas because peas are a problem for me with my autism but OH WELL I GUESS PEAS and i was too embarassed to ask the damn chef to take it back and like..bin everything that touched the peas.
Its so fuckin stupid i feel like such a child
BUT
I know its really fuckin dumb but i feel really accomplished to say this is the first time i have ever finished a plate of peas without throwing up.
Its my fuckin weirdest brain problem, i get really oversensitive to some textures and its the height of extreme embarassment whenever it happens. I wish so fuckin much that it was something i got over when i grew up, it sucks to be a full grown adult and still get an involuntary gag reflex and full on pulse racing panic just from your tongue touching ONE PEA IN A THING. (Also sweetcorn cos its similar in texture)
And all the years of my childhood being told i was 'just being picky' and somehow making up being sick and just getting slapped and given more goddamn peas to train me out of it. Well all that ever accomplished was getting me to panic at the mere sight of the things and have to compulsively pick them out and pick out everything that touched them like man i cant even eat a thing that looks like it was near a pea!!!!
BUT HOLY HELL IVE FINALLY CRACKED IT IVE FINALLY CONQUERED MY STUPIDEST GODDAMN FOE
Not by 'just manning up' and doing it again and again until something changes. No, turns out this entire time i could have just made a really minor change to avoid the cause of the freakout. Cos this is actually the first time ive tried MUSHY PEAS
Yes, the epitome of cliche boring british person food was actually the solution all along???
See it was entirely a texture thing, and when theyre mashed up it just doesnt do anything at all. This is actually my first time even knowing what peas actually taste like! I cant believe my friggin PEA JITTERS were so strong i never even registered one percent of wtf they taste like. They taste like nothing?? Like just..generic vegetable. Slightly vinegary i guess. (Or do they put vinegar in mushy peas?) I still dont like them but i dont hate them either, and more importantly they dont destroy my entire frontal cortex with The Terror Sweats
So i was able to eat all those peas and now i know the secret technique to eat all peas for the rest of time! And it was a super easy thing that my parents could have done for me with minimal effort and saved all that trouble if they just actually listened to me all those years ago. I cant belueve i was so locked into the whole 'its your fault you have to keep trying you cant try doing it another way' mindset that i never simply squashed the pea under my fork and tried to see if it was better...
Though it still wasnt exactly easy, i had to try and eat this stuff while not actually looking at the peas cos itd make my stomach churn just thinking about them. I think i can get past that gut reaction eventually if i keep eating them in Safe Non Anxiety Form and like..rewire my brain to see this as a New Food instead. I dunno. Maybe put food colouring so they arent green?
It sucks that i have to go to such weird lengths to deal with my brainweirds but im just glad to have figured something out so i dont have to embarass myself again.
Most of my other touch-based sensitivities are stuff i can deal with like just not being able to deal with those outer ear headphones puttibg pressure on the back of my head or also hats that are too tight. I think it actually might be part ptsd from how my mum used to pull me by the back of my head. My support workrr touched me on my shoulder near the back of my neck the other day and i had such a spike of panic but i felt too embarassed to tell her about it. Like she was just tapping me to get my attention but its just..just please dont. And aside from that im also working on my big taste sensitivity to mint and bitter stuff. Today i had a lightly bitter green tea boba and i feel so grateful to my buddy for helping me find one tea i can handle! And ive found that i can deal with mint if its mixed with a second thing thats equally as strong. I tried this mint and pepper drink that sounded like itd be awful but it was actually amazing how it cancelles out the mint entirely! So i dunno should i buy some of that novelty spicy chewing gum and chew a stick of that along with the mint stuff? I have a low tolerance for spice but its not like an overstimulation thing its just regular having white guy tastebuds lol. Id much rather have a burning hot tongue than a burning hot brain!
I will slowly but surely find out a way to deal with all of my things!! Even if i cant ever get rid of them i can find a way to live with them, ykno?
Also i need to try and buy a fidget toy, i need to stop being too embarassed about that. My friend i met today is also autistic and she has a chew ring and im like WHOA i wish i could get over my anxiety enough to do that! Chewing on stuff is my biggest damn stim, i would destroy all my pens and pencils and chew bottlecaps so long they ended up as rubber, not to mention how much i wreck my nails and get so many cuts all over my hands whenever i get nervous. But it just seems like chewing on stuff is seem as the most immature type of autism symptom by neurotypical society. so im stuck too ashamed to buy the stuff actually designed to help us and instead i just keep doing it anyway and still embarassing myself but like also with a choking risk. I still remember when i accidentally choked on a coin and my dad spent the entire time i was in the emergency room making fun of me for it and saying i was a burden on the nhs for getting hospitalized and like..taking resources away from real problems. And how i was childish and r-worded and etc etc cant ever survive on your own cant ever be a fully sentient human being
Gahhh this has been a long tangeant but anyway this is why autism awareness and acceptance is good and also why you shouldnt make fun of people who have the 'weird version' of symptoms. Im not choosing to do this, seriously im way more upset by it than you are...
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