#lin write something short challenge
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norestfortheurge · 1 year ago
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me: when i include the mephistopheles heist in my fic i'm not gonna make it too long haha no extensive cania hellbuilding
me 7k words and hours of cania research later: huh!
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graysoncritic · 8 months ago
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A (Negative) Analysis of Tom Taylor's Nightwing Run - Introduction
Introduction Who is Dick Grayson? What Went Wrong? Dick's Characterization What Went Wrong? Barbara Gordon What Went Wrong? Bludhaven (Part 1, Part 2) What Went Wrong? Melinda Lin Grayson What Went Wrong? Bea Bennett What Went Wrong? Villains Conclusion Bibliography
I want to start this essay by admitting I’m actually embarrassed by its length. Why did I spend so much time on something I dislike? The truth is, I did not begin this with the intention of creating such an extensive, formal study of the Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo’s Nightwing run and how it reflects the wider problems with DC’s handling of one of their most iconic characters. I was just trying to organize the thoughts that came up during discussions with other Dick Grayson fans. Before I knew it, I had enough material, enough desire to challenge myself, and enough frustrations to vent to properly create this monstrosity.
I did not begin this Nightwing run determined to hate it. In fact, I was ready to love it. As Taylor promoted the run before the first issue was officially released, I was so excited for it. As I read short interviews where he discussed Heartless, I could not wait to have a new, incredible villain. Foolishly, I believed Taylor when he said he loved Dick Grayson. 
Needless to say, I was disappointed. Then frustrated. Then angry. The beginning of any story is a period where writer and reader form an indirect bond, and as the story progresses, so do the highs and the lows of said relationship. As such, a reader’s tolerance for negative factors will either increase or decrease depending on their experience up until that point.
In other words, if the writer fails to earn the reader’s trust and instead takes their attention for granted, even seemingly insignificant details become irritating in a way they would not be if presented in a better story. In such scenarios, the reader can no longer overlook those minor moments because there’s little good to balance them out with. It is a death by a thousand cuts. 
In the case of Taylor and Redondo’s run, along with those thousand cuts are also broken bones, internal bleeding, head trauma, and severed limbs. A weak plot, simplistic morality that undermines the story’s stated themes, and, most importantly, a careless disregard for Dick Grayson and everything he stands for utterly destroyed my enjoyment of this series. 
It is still too early to tell what sort of impact Taylor’s (as of time of writing, still unfinished) run will have on Dick Grayson’s future portrayals. But just because we cannot predict its long term significance, it does not mean we cannot critique it. Currently, we simply lack the benefit of hindsight. 
If this essay were to have a thesis, then it is this: Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo’s Nightwing not only fails to tell a compelling Nightwing story, but it also exemplifies a cynical, self-serving, and shallow approach to storytelling that prioritizes creating hollow viral moments to boost the creators’ own online popularity over crafting a good story, honoring the character in their care, and respecting his fans – fans who have, historically, often been women, queer folk, and other individuals who felt othered by a cisheteronormative patriarchal society. Taylor and Redondo’s thoughtless and superficial narrative not only undermine the socially progressive ideals they supposedly care for by propagating a cisheteronormative patriarchal worldview, but they also demonstrate a lack of love and understanding for the character in their care. At best, Taylor and Redondo have no interest in getting to know Dick Grayson, nor any respect for their predecessor and their contributions to this character. At worst, they despise Dick so much that they wish to reinvent him into something completely different, tossing away everything that was special to his fans in order to appeal to a readership that never cared about Dick Grayson. 
I structured this essay so that, hopefully, each part will build on the ones that came prior. Naturally, because all aspects of a story are interlaced, there will be overlaps between each of the sections. As it may have become obvious from this introduction, I’ll be focusing primarily on the writing of this run. That is not to say that I will not address the art, but writing is the field I know most about, and so it feels only fair to focus my critique on that. 
I hope that by the end of this essay, I will have successfully proved that this run’s mishandling of different narrative elements betray a cynical appropriation of progressive ideology and a disregard and disinterest in what makes Dick Grayson so special to so many people. This is an attitude that is present within DC Comics’ current ethos as a whole.
Now, who is this essay for? Honestly, it’s probably not for Tom Taylor fans. I do not believe I’ll be persuading anyone with my writing, and, to be quite honest, neither would I say I wish to do so. Taylor and Redondo’s run has won numerous awards and has many dedicated fans who adore it for what it is. If that is you, then I’m glad. I wish I could be among your numbers. I wish more than anything that I could love this story. But I do not, and I know many others agree with me, and it is to them, I think, that I’m speaking to. As Taylor’s run is praised to heaven and back, I needed a safe space to voice my thoughts. This essay became this safe space. And to others who also feel unseen by the constant praise this run is getting, I think this could speak to you, as well. To be cliche and cringe, this will hopefully let you know that you are not alone. 
Finally, I want to acknowledge some people whose thoughts greatly contributed to the creation of this essay. For around three years now I’ve been having wonderful interactions with other Dick Grayson’s fans, and those discussions were not only incredibly fun and cathartic, but also provided great insight into what needed to be included in this essay. My best friend especially gave me a space to vent when I got frustrated, and my original outline borrowed a lot from the messages I sent her, as well as notes I took for our discussions.  
I’ll also be directly quoting four different Dick Grayson fans (identified as Dick Grayson Fans A, B, and C in order to allow them to keep their anonymity). Their analyses were so critical to the formation of my thesis and for a lot of what will be addressed in this essay that I actually feel like they deserve co-credit in this essay. Dick Grayson Fan B especially deserves a shoutout in helping me track down a couple of pages used as supporting evidence, as I knew what pages I was looking for but was having a hard time remembering in which issue they were located. I’m quoting them with permission, and crediting their ideas and contributions whenever relevant. 
Now, without any further ado, let’s get started. 
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starrluvs · 1 year ago
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can you please… facesitting but with raiden and kung lao? i’m begginf
𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍 | 𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐀𝐎 + 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆
cw: afab reader, oral (fem receiving), facesitting, established relationship (raiden), rivals or fwb (kung lao), raiden being a sweetheart, kung lao being a cocky mf
wc: 709
a/n: my first anon request eeee tysm <3 !! i've never considered writing for kung lao or raiden before, but this was fun to write! maybe i'll be open to write about more mk men apart from the lin kuei trio... also, requests/asks are open, so come talk to me or send some asks!
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𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍
raiden was a sweet man. he was kind, hardworking, humble and open to new opportunities and challenges. so when you told him that you wanted to try sitting on his face, he agreed, telling you that he’d do his best. 
lucky for you, his best was more than enough. raiden was underneath you, listening to all the moans that left your lips while he slowly ran his tongue deep inside your slick walls. the tingling feeling made your toes curl as you whimpered out his name,
the champion hums against your pussy, making you shiver from the jolt of vibrations lingering through your core. you look down at raiden, and the sight of him so willingly smothering himself into you made your cheeks rise in temperature. his eyebrows were knitted close together and his eyes were closed as he was solely focused on bringing you pleasure.
as if he could feel your stare, raiden opens his shining brown eyes and stops what he’s doing for just a quick moment. he was able to see your hair become fizzed and quite messy, but he only let out a small chuckle before asking you if he was doing a good job and if you were feeling good.
his humbleness showing out once again made you smile and reassure him that he was doing an amazing job. upon hearing your answer, raiden wastes no time diving back in, except this time he held onto your waist gently.
you squeal as you feel him flick your clit and leave soft kisses on it before delving his tongue back into your heat. you whimper at the feeling of his wet muscle entering you again and place your smaller hands over his bigger ones that were still planted on your hips.
with your back arched and eyes screwed shut, you continued to yelp and squeal in pleasure. he knew you couldn’t see him, but just the view of his beloved on top of him like this was something to remember forever. 
he’d definitely have to do this more often with you.
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𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐀𝐎
unlike raiden, kung lao wasn’t necessarily the most humble man in all the realms. imagine the big game he would talk just to get between your legs– so much speeches about how he would be able to please you better than any of your past sexual partners– even have you cumming for him multiple times… and he wasn't completely wrong about it either.
you had already reached your first orgasm, but kung lao had no intentions of stopping his ministrations on your pussy. his lips suctioned around your overstimulated clit, causing you to try and squirm away from him. your previous orgasm still had you in a daze, and you were sure the monk’s ego had already been stroked at how poorly you were handling yourself above him.
much to your liking, kung lao lets you hover above his face, leaving you out of reach from his mouth. he watches you catch your breath and takes the opportunity to open his mouth and tease you, telling you that he ‘told you so’.
you couldn’t stand it… you couldn't stand that he was right. you couldn't stand his cocky smile that showed off his dimples– but maybe seeing him soaked like this with your juices wasn’t all that bad. with a quick dismissal of his comments, you feel your body come down from its high and sit back down on his face.
this time, his hands fly up to grip your thighs, kneading your soft flesh and urging you to keep grinding on his tongue that was licking up every last drop of your sweet juices. panting and feeling short of breath, you cup the back of his head for support to sit up and compose yourself.
you were able to feel kung lao’s smug grin against your pussy. he knew that he had already won you over with just his tongue. and with the way the motion of your hips started speeding up– practically using his face and tongue for yet another release– confirmed that he officially had you lost in pleasure and he loved it.
you were never gonna hear the end of this once you two were done here.
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airgiodslv · 4 months ago
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I skipped the July creation wrap-up because nearly everything I worked on was for challenges revealed in August. There's a lot!
Fics:
Guess That Voice: WIK Edition
KinnPorsche, Kim/Chay, rated T
Kim is grilled within an inch of his life about Wik’s personal life, his projects, and his future plans. Chay takes meticulous notes on his phone the whole time. Kim has trained with professional interrogators who are less intimidating than Chay crafting a bomb to drop on Twitter.
“It’s not for Twitter,” Chay corrects him. Kim has a short-lived moment of relief before Chay clarifies: “I’m writing Wikfic.”
(Fic Text + Podfic)
The Shadow Lyctors
Jeff Satur Cinematic Universe & The Locked Tomb Series - Tamsyn Muir, rated M
Moonshine was the cavalier primary to Sunshine, Third Saint to serve the King Undying. It is unclear whether this was his given name, or how Sunshine has memorialized him after death. Sunshine calls him ‘an Alexandrite’, referring to the branch of Sixth House cavaliers whose attractiveness and skill earned them an education in erotic poetry and a Cohort assignment, for the express purpose of finding a mate to diversify the ailing Sixth House gene pool.
Given Sunshine’s sense of humor, it is possible this was a joke.
(A fandom Wiki for a fictional book trilogy)
Podfic Triptych + Ficlet: Sunshine and Rain, written by TheCookieOfDoom, shubaka, and AirgiodSLV
Jeff Satur Cinematic Universe, Sunshine/Rain, rated T
untitled ficlet, written by TheCookieOfDoom The being coalesces from smoke and shadow.
from where the light shines, written by shubaka The Rain God discovers a man on a rooftop, lying in a pool of his own blood.
ghost light, written by AirgiodSLV On the night of Wan Ok Phansa, Sunshine dances on the Mekong River.
by the light of the sun, a remix of to have and to hold by shubaka
Jeff Satur Cinematic Universe & Wuju Bakery, Sunshine/Ghost, Sunshine/Passion, rated G
Most people forget that Sunshine is the scion of a dynasty himself, too used to thinking of him only as Prince Raon’s companion.
Passion, however, forgets very little that could prove useful to him.
hiraeth and hwyl, written & performed by The Sentient Hive (AirgiodSLV, CompassRose, ellejabell, epaulettes, kitkat50311, mahons-ondine, minnabird, sisi_rambles)
Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones & Piranesi - Susanna Clarke, rated G
You find yourself looking at a door.
It looks like an ordinary door, but you’re somehow certain that it isn’t.
In theory, you could open the door…but something warns you off.
You might not survive, if you pass through that door. You might no longer be you.
Podfics & Audio:
you could cut ties with all the lies (that you've been living in), written by Nemainofthewater
Nirvana in Fire, Lin Chen/Xiao Jingyan & Mei Changsu, rated M
“Sir Sū,” Jĭngyán said, “Forgive me, but I can’t help but feel strange referring to you in such a manner after such intimacies.”
“Ah,” said Lìn Chén, abruptly thrown out of his warm, post-coital state, “No, Your Highness is going to have to trust me on this, calling me Chángsū is really going to spoil the mood.”
Listen to the radio, audio collage of music & interviews by Jeff Satur, with art by TheCookieOfDoom
On a desolate planet under distant stars, these heroes fight against the corporations that control society. Late at night, you can hear them broadcast to each other on pirate radio frequencies, sending secret messages across the airwaves...
"Fuck it, I'm adopting her," said John Gaius, not knowing the paperwork wasn't necessary, written by Naamah_Beherit
The Locked Tomb Series - Tamsyn Muir, rated T
Gideon, a highly distinguished Cohort lieutenant, saves the day—and the girl—and then gets stuck in the lift of The Erebos with a man feeding her peanuts as if they have all the time in the world. They don't, but if he doesn't mind, then why should she?
baby I, baby I, I'm caught in the middle, written by IsleofSolitude
KinnPorsche, Kim/Chay, Chay/OMC, rated E
Seth has had threesomes before. He knows he’s great at sex—that sex with him is something Chay enjoys immensely. He and Chay have a strong relationship, he knows Chay intimately. He’s never had a third with him and an omega during a heat before, but Kim’s sort of attractive. Besides, they are in his home. There’s no reason to not be okay with it. If things go badly, he can just kick Kim out.
(the steal the show inspired threesome omegaverse inspired by a dream)
love, let my love inside go free, written by daltoneering
KinnPorsche, Kinn/Porsche, rated E
They burst to the surface gasping for breath, water clogging Porsche’s ears, distorting the brightness of Kinn’s laughter across the pool into muffled echoes along the tall glass walls of the building. He grabs for the side, lungs screaming.
“Fuck! You want to drown me?”
Kinn shows Porsche just how grateful he is for the perfect first date.
History Talking to Itself, written by Sour_Idealist
Teixcalaan Series - Arkady Martine, Mahit Dzmare/Three Seagrass, Yskandr Aghavn/Nineteen Adze/Six Direction, Past Mahit Dzmare/OFC, rated T
Twelve excerpts from Teixcalaan and from Lsel Station.
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chewbokachoi · 11 months ago
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My writing/the real reason you're here
-confetti and fanfare-
At the moment, it's all Mortal Kombat. UPDATE: There's, like, one Babylon 5 in there now!
Song Challenges - As the link explains, I write to a song and that's that.
Ask games - Always open/have no expiration date
Completed Works:
Friday Nights - A weekly ritual between the two, Johnny finds tonight's session is bringing up something he's tried to not think about. AO3 Rating: E Chapters: 4/4 Notes: Johnny/Kenshi piece and the piece that dislodged me from my writer's block and I more or less haven't stopped since (aside from a few hurdles but ya get me)
Good Dog - Shang Tsung has gathered far more enemies than allies. Realizing that he needs somebody to keep an eye out for him, he decides to hire a bodyguard. By chance, Shang Tsung arrives just in time to hire Bi-Han, a down on his luck man-for-hire. What Shang Tsung didn't expect was for this man of ice to be immune to all his usual tricks and charm. He doesn't want to admit this draws him to his guard. And on the flip side, Bi-Han didn't think he'd ever break his no-attachments rule with the likes of such a fragile mad scientist. Inspired by the amazing art of @eo03o AO3 Rating: E Chapters: 5/5 Notes: I liked their dynamic too much and am too proud of all the random Easter eggs.
Sublimation - Five years since Bi-Han's betrayal and nothing has gotten easier. Earthrealm continues to need its defenders and everyone's starting to feel the strain. But Tomas is feeling another type of strain--he's been treated like a child more than the second in command of the Shirai Ryu as of late. When Liu Kang tasks Tomas and Hanzo to return to the Lin Kuei library, destroyed during the schism, they are ambushed by Bi-Han and Shang Tsung, who offer Tomas up to an Enenra with hopes to control it.
Things, of course, do not go according to plan. Tomas is saved by Hanzo, but Tomas is once again thrown into a life altering experience he never had a say in. Now he and his friends must learn to live with this new version of their friend. AO3 Rating: M Chapters: 5/5 Notes: Part of a series (that'll get renamed). Part 2 already in the works for it. Commentary
Works in Progress:
But a Patient Wolf - Sequel to Good Dog Shang Tsung gifts "Sai" a chance to exact revenge on Quan Chi, the ringmaster of the traveling circus he once belonged to. With that done, the two flee to Chicago. But their time in the city is cut short when Shang Tsung finally figures out where the strange and mysterious island in the East China Sea is. Bi-Han, the ever-loyal bodyguard, follows his beloved mad scientist to their new destination. There, the two discover a suspiciously preserved library full of secrets and wonders that will push the two and their relationship to the limit. AO3 Rating: M Chapters: 1/5(?) Notes: I fell in love with their dynamic. They're too hard to resist. This story will likely have a different tone than Part One/Good Dog itself, but I hope it's still enjoyable!
The Great Duo: Shang Tsung is woken up one morning to find an ex and six-year-old at his doorstep. She leaves Shang Tsung with a girl who is no doubt his daughter. Initially, he takes her in, knowing it to be wiser to have somebody as smart as him on his side. Soon enough, Shang Tsung finds he not only enjoys having the kid around, but he enjoys teaching her and training her to be just like him. AO3 Rating: T Chapters: 1/3(?) Notes: This one is very much a 'I'll update as the ideas come to me' kind of thing
To Be Haunted: Johnny and Kenshi's relationship has gotten more serious with marriage in sight. Johnny's showing his commitment by welcoming Takeda, while Kenshi still struggles to feel like a good enough parent to Cassie. What should be the next step for the growing family is hamstrung by a strange entity that has made their home its own. Their lives are quickly thrown off balance as Cassie and Takeda grow ill from the creature's presence. Johnny, Kenshi, and their friends scramble to solve the mystery of the entity before it's too late. AO3 Rating: M Chapters: 13/? Notes: I am trying to update it :(
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irrealisms · 1 year ago
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if this wine hasn't turned to vinegar liner notes
fic here if you haven't read it!
i've wanted for a while to do a fic about niki & the absence of wilbur--first abandonment, then grief--and then i rolled "platonic soulmates" for a fic exchange challenge and went "yes!!! an excuse to write niki!!!!". i do love her dearly.
if i was not already over the length limit for this fic, it would've had a scene with fundy. fundy's soulmate is, of course, also wilbur.
i have a lot of details about both fairy tale soulmates and dsmp soulmates that didn't make it into the fic. fairy tale soulmate facts include: in the six swans, all six of the girl's brothers have her as their soulmate; in tam lin, janet goes to carterhaugh because she's curious about the name on her wrist; most disney movies about humans are centered on romantic soulmates, but frozen and encanto both have familial soulmates at the forefront, lilo and stitch has both platonic and familial soulmates, and moana doesn't have a soulmate. dsmp soulmate facts include: tommy and tubbo have each other as soulmates; so do schlatt and quackity; so do techno and phil. the name on the most soulmarks is dream; second place is tommy; third place is wilbur.
the prank war between eret and fundy was real and i highly recommend it. ditto the stairfish and the posters and photos ponk put on the wall of his room in niki's city. every dialogue scene is set on a specific date on the dsmp, and i tried to get timeline details as accurate as i could.
i think a lot about the original little mermaid. something that isn't included here but that i made a stab at including a couple times is that the author of the little mermaid, hans christian andersen, wrote it for his friend who he was in love with upon said friend getting married to a woman who he by all accounts loved very much.
the title comes from haunting, haunted, haunts by against me! which i listened to on loop while planning this fic. i highly recommend reading the lyrics and thinking about niki & wilbur in this fic.
people tend to dislike soulmate aus a lot and i do get it but i also really, really like soulmate aus. for the best soulmate au i've personally read, i recommend the line i called the horizon by @regicidal-optimism/consumptive_sphinx.
a lot of the formatting and general idea--very close-third-pov story interspersed by much more omniscient-narrator dry facts about alternate universe worldbuilding and folklore--was inspired by Homecoming is Just Another Word for the Sublimation of the Self by Isabel J. Kim, which i also highly recommend, and which imo did it much better than i did (saying this not to put myself down--i am overall pleased with the fic--just, like, i was trying something new on a deadline, it is not as polished as the published short story it was inspired by, so it goes)
this isn't a fact about this fic but it's a fact about me and the niki-wilbur relationship: in the thes viceduo wilbur duo polls, and specifically in this poll of round 3, i voted for niki & wilbur 139 times.
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where-dreamers-go · 4 years ago
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James Conrad x Fem!Reader (Soulmate AU) Part One
(A/N: I wanted to experiment with another soulmate alternative universe. Predominantly in James’ point of view. This has been (slowly) in the works for a long while. Again, I went back to this now in 2021 when this was typed from a notebook in 2019. I kind of forgot about this one…my bad. So this is for @girl-next-door-writes Bingo Challenge~! Yeah, I know I have a few other insert readers that I’m working on, but this one was basically finished and I can’t believe I forgot about it. Part One, Erica? Yeah, I know...we get there when we get there. Bingo Card: Soulmates Warnings: Brief and vague mentions of people not surviving on Skull Island. Word Count: 3,246 words )
A world with ancient creatures long forgotten and slowly being remembered was an intricate puzzle. There were believers, those who were neutral, and those who spit negativity at the notion of something against their beliefs.
A society and world where soulmates could found one another on their own was exciting for the hopeful. Bioluminescent glow of the skin acted as a compass with one’s soulmate in place of North. A part of the body closest to the direction of one’s soulmate would glow. It could be the tip of a nose, an extended elbow, or any small pinpoint glow unless one’s soulmate was closer. The more near to one’s soulmate, the larger the glowing area. 
✧ ✧ ✧
James’ skin never glowed more than the size of a small coin. He had traveled more than the average citizen. He had been a captain, Special Operations, but was a civilian once more as a hirable tracker. Yet agreeing to go aboard his last job changed everything. What he knew about the world and her creatures was altered. Skull Island was only a part of it all.
On top of being forced into Monarch’s containment and learning that there were other monsters out there around the world—his skin was glowing in large patches. It was distracting for himself and those with him. The others were getting quite interested and offering to help. As it had been glowing more noticeably since he and Mason were briefed on the ancient super species.
“I can handle it. Let’s stay on topic, shall we?” James asked, as he walked out of the concrete holding room.
“Are you sure? Because—,” the boy, Houston, swallowed his words at the quick glance from James. “Right.”
It was no secret that the two scientists, Houston Brooks and San Lin, found James’ glowing skin to be a big deal. Seeing someone’s skin glow about the size of their hand was nothing to ignore. Yet that was what James intended to do. There were larger situations to consider, especially as the two scientists took Mason and James to another area—finally—once they were on board.
“More of your skin is glowing,” said Mason, her voice hushed.
“I know.” James stated, but not as flatly as he intended to end the conversation.
“I wonder who it is,” Houston stated.
“Someone in Monarch definitely,” San added.
“Again, may we stay on topic?” James looked pointedly at each of his companions.
“Sorry.”
“Yes.”
He did not have a clear idea where they were being lead in the government building, but he did know it would lead to more information on the matters Monarch was involved in.
✧ ✧ ✧
Work had been left ignored, procrastinated for hours. Your eyes studying your own skin as its bioluminescence when you had walked through the compound and as you sat in your small office.
You were brought into Monarch almost a year ago with promises of knowledge and helping others. Your curiosity had sucked you in. It was a home, workplace, and life like no other. There were many surreal moments, definitely, considering ancient creatures not being just legends. Something a zoologist like yourself dove into researching.
You were happy. You had a purpose of helping others. The more you learned and researched, the more you felt actually fulfilled. Also, the more paperwork and notes you had pinned to the wall and filed onto your desk.
Seeing your skin’s soulmate glow broaden in size seemed more otherworldly than writing down a wingspan for Mothra.
Sighing, you rotated your forearm as the glow spread to your bicep.
This week just keeps getting more intense, you thought. First an expedition on Skull Island, now—
Knock knock
You quickly rolled down the sleeves of your shirt.
“Hey, (Y/N).” Houston walked in through the open doorway, “got a minute?”
“Sure.” You answered, standing from your seat.
Three more people walked into your office, one of which you recognized as San.
“May I help you?” You asked as you made an effort not to make any direct eye contact with the newcomers for at least a moment longer.
“Ah…” His eyes were on the man he had brought with him.
“Houston?”
He coughed before speaking and turning his attention elsewhere, “This is Mason Weaver—.”
“Hi.” Mason waved, a woman with dirty blonde hair.
“Hi,” you smiled and waved in return. The glow appearing out of your hand. You quickly tucked your hands behind your back. A glow then brightening your face.
“—And…this is James Conrad.”
“Hi.” The tall man swallowed dryly, his face and neck glowing warmly. Extremely obviously.
Oh, dear, you thought.
Clearly, out of everything that happened in the past week, he was not prepared for meeting his soulmate. Neither were you.
“Hi.” Your voice lacked the strength you were hoping to pull out of yourself for one second away from your work. Although it did not seem to hurt any of the introductions.
Quiet quickly took over your small office. Multiple pairs of eyes looked between you and the Mister Conrad. With your desk behind you, you were a cornered little mammal.
“So, what’s your job here?” Mason asked, breaking through the other’s silent stares.
“I’m a zoologist and here at Monarch I try to figure out how these species live—survive in their environments. Hoping to learn about their evolution and habits. Basically the animal kingdom.” You answered, your shoulders slacking some.
“She also has an interest in mythology, which is a great help to us,” Houston piped up.
“If I was more into cryptology it would make this a little more fun. If not give me a small head start when I first came here.”
“Speaking of head start…How much time do you think we have?” Mason asked.
“Time… Uh. Considering we survived this long as a species, how technology is progressing, and how your expedition unearthed some of the creatures….I would say that we still have time before the world—our society as a whole—knows them as facts. That much can be said.”
“That’s good news.”
“But that doesn’t mean all humans or even our technology will be prepared for their arrival or even living amongst them.”
“I’m not sure I want to live next door to one of them,” Houston pointed out.
“The creatures already live here. They were here first.” San added.
“We are the ones who must adapt.” James said, arms crossed over his chest.
Your breath came in quickly as your eyes reminded you of the man’s own bioluminescence. It covered all of his arms’ skin that was visible from his short-sleeve shirt. Mesmerizing you in thoughts that seemed too supernatural and much too distracting for the topic at hand.
“Are we not gonna talk about you two’s skins glowing?” Houston asked, jolting you out of your thoughts.
You straightened up hastily.
“Learning all we can about ancient creatures that could possibly destroy the human race and other creatures of the world comes first.” You said, though perhaps more to yourself. It wasn’t entirely a ‘no’.
“Agreed.” James stated, arms still crossed and glowing.
You had only taken a glimpse at him from the corner of your eye.
“Alright,” Houston drew out the word. “The world is top priority.”
“As it should,” San added. “And we should show Mason and James the other wing. Show them their rooms and where they can eat.”
“It was nice meeting you,” Mason said as she turned towards the door.
“Likewise,” you smiled.
“A pleasure,” James said shortly before leaving just before Mason.
Houston and San gave their short goodbyes as they left you to your work.
You plopped down onto your chair. Heart thumping loudly in your chest, you shuttered as you let out a breath of air.
“He’s here.”
✧ ✧ ✧
Mason and James were shown more of the facility on the way to the living area. A whole opposite wing inside of the secret facility where those in Monarch could stay. It was impressive. Their separate rooms would be the final stop on the tour.
James wondered if there would be no leaving that place. After time, would he want to?
I’m going to have to help people. I’m alright with that. If they need help—the world, I’ll do what I can. He thought as he counted off the doors they passed.
Houston and San lead the way.
“I can’t believe you didn’t stay and talk with her,” Mason declared from beside James. “Actually I can. Nevermind.”
“There’s no time.” James said.
“That’s a poor excuse for someone who just heard that we do have time. Years even.”
“But would it be worth it?” He countered.
“That’s up to you and her. You could also learn a lot more about this place.”
“I think I’ve heard enough about this place for one day.”
He knew that Mason was trying to bait him, but also to genuinely help. It wasn’t an everyday thing to hear about someone finding their soulmate; let alone see it happen.
It had to happen this way, didn’t it?
When night fell and James was finally alone, he was reminded of everything he had pushed to the back of his mind. Well fed and cleaned up, he laid in bed. He could not help but to stare at the glowing of his skin on his left side. It meant that you did not leave the facility either. Could you though? He reached out his left arm and watched as his entire hand glowed. Bright whites and warm yellow tones. Even when he was in the UK his skin never glowed more than the size of his thumb. His soulmate was there. Alive and healthy.
He sighed.
Normally he would not even think about his soulmate or even remember about a glowing patch of his skin because it was always out of sight or not enough to notice. Too many changes and discoveries. Then he met you. However brief of a meeting, James had felt something spark in his mind and his veins. Somewhere in him, he felt a connection. An interest that rooted itself inside of him where he could not see.
Closing his eyes, James settled with his thoughts.
She’s safe. That’s what’s important.
✧ ✧ ✧
James awakened from his half-sleep state from a knocking on the room’s only door. Rolling out of bed, he walked to see who needed to see him. It was not until his entire front was glowing brighter than yesterday did he know for certain who was behind the door. He flicked on the room light. Sleep faded from his mind completely.
He took a breath in.
Upon opening the door, he did not mind greeting who he saw.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” you smiled all tense with your face all aglow.
A small smile curled his lips.
Guess it didn’t take her long to figure out which room I was in.
“I’m sorry if it’s too early.” You said, voice hushed.
“It’s fine. Truly.”
“I was just…wondering if you were okay.”
He could of laughed at the statement, but he chose against it.
“Considering I was lucky to return alive from an island full of monsters, was taken against my will to be brought here, was shown a presentation of other monsters on the planet, and still haven’t left this place—I would have to say that simply ‘okay’ doesn’t quite fit.”
Silence filled the hall.
James felt a twinge of guilt seeing the mixture of hurt on your face unfiltered. Your fingers intertwined tightly. He waited to hear what you would say.
You finally found words you wanted to share, “Monarch tends to be a bit dramatic and secretive, but I think that’s because it’s difficult for Monarch as a whole to find people they can trust.”
“They seem to trust you a great deal.”
“I’ve just gathered information. I’m a zoologist and I also want to make sense of what our world really is—but that doesn’t mean I’ll figure out everything we should even know about one of these creatures. I do my best. I don’t go out recruiting or anything. I haven’t even been out in the field in months.”
He saw more than he had yesterday how the subjects at hand were making you distressed. Seen from how your eyes looked panicked and you hid your hands in the sleeves of your sweater.
“I’m sorry for what you went through on the island. No one should have gotten hurt or…,” your voice trailed off.
“Each of us knew the risks—to a degree.”
“But you weren’t told the truth. It wasn’t fair.”
James leaned against the doorway. New thoughts coming forward in his mind.
“Were you available to go to Skull Island?”
“I—,” you cocked your head at him before your eyes glanced elsewhere. “Bill Randa told me to look over my research. Basically like writing a second draft to a paper. He told me that I was missing something. But…we didn’t have any new information coming in at the time.”
“Any chance he was wary of whether or not you would have told those he hired why we were really there?”
That would have been helpful. But Houston and San did not say anything either.
“I…I don’t know. I’ve never told a secret before. Not that any of this is really a secret. It’s more like myths and stories that people wouldn’t likely believe at first glance.”
He watched as you rubbed your arms still deep in thought.
James straightened up.
“Would you care to come in? I think we’ve stood out here long enough.” He smiled.
You smiled kindly in return.
“Would it be alright if we talked about something other than monsters?” You inquired.
“Sure. Did you have anything in mind?” He dearly hoped you were not going to ask about the War or that part of his past that interested most others.
No doubt she had heard something from Houston or San. Or she asked.
To his surprise and only partial relief, you held up a single glowing finger.
Right. That.
James’ chest rose and fell before he nodded in agreement. The man moved back inside the room given to him and held the door open as you gingerly entered.
As you passed him the side of your face glowed a bright white that his eyes seemed to follow without a second thought.
Seconds ticked by and you were both still standing around and not sure what to do as you both glowed, keeping a distance.
You rose your eyebrows, amused with the silence.
One of us has to say something, he thought.
What was there to say? It was not the most ideal of circumstances around.
“I…I must apologize for being so blunt when we met.” James said. “Everything has just been adding up and piling on more information. I didn’t want to put any of that emotion towards you. None of this was expected.”
“It’s alright. I mean, I always figured I’d miss my chance at meeting my—uh, you know…”
James nodded.
“Because of my work and usually being inside or one place. Not really moving around. Plus I figured I’d somehow walk right passed or something and not notice because I’m focused on other things.”
“Your work is important to you. That’s good.”
“Yeah,” you smiled a bit as you rested your hands on your hips. “Nothing like good work ethic in something your interested in. Though right now it’s quite the topics.”
Narrowing his eyes for a moment, James figured you were talking about more than just monsters. About him, perhaps?
We keep dancing around the soulmate subject. What do we even want? What do I want?
“It’d been nice to focus on other things.” You said.
What?
The corner of your lips quirked up as you looked at him.
“Things about what other people do or are interested in.” You clarified. You had read his expression well enough.
“I’m not sure what information I could offer.” James stated softly. “I was still a tracker for hire when Monarch offered me the job.” He had not entirely wanted to bring that up to you, however there was not much else. How personal did he want to be? This was the most time he had spent in your presence since meeting you the day before. To him, you did not seem the radical type like those he encountered while on Skull Island. Time would tell when he would open up more to you. Even the whole soulmate subject was a heavy topic.
You seemed determined enough to push through the conversation.
“Could…,” you pressed your lips together in a tight line. Eyes no longer meeting his. “This is probably extremely personal, but—if you wanted to…would you had been able to find me on your own?”
“The glowing would had made it exceedingly easier. Yes.”
You nodded, taking in his words.
“Would you?” He asked.
Eyes returning to his, your shoulders perked higher. You shook your head.
“Even working for Monarch, I couldn’t.” You said quietly. “I think it worked out though.” You shrugged, trying to defend your happiness of meeting James.
She really is happy to have met me. Finding me though…That’s what I figured, he thought. She can’t travel the world with her expertise without support. She couldn’t have been able to find me in Vietnam. Seeing her office, she probably would had been helpful on the trip. He froze at his thoughts. No. That would had been terrible.
“I know that we agreed not to speak about any more monsters, however,” he inhaled visibly, “I am glad that you were not on that expedition.”
“Why?” Your question was out of curiosity not pride.
“Your presence would had made it more complicated. None of it would have been of your own doing. Rather, uh, the stakes would have been higher. Greater.”
Just the start of his mind thinking about if you there bothered him. The creatures, the people, unknown environment they found themselves in, and the secrets that were held.
“Oh…that sort of makes sense.”
“Sorry,” he took a step closer to you. “It’s just there were guns being pointed to anyone who disagreed with the Lieutenant Colonel. And if you were there I’m sure he would have used you as leverage or had threatened you or worse. Our glowing skins would have made us easy targets.”
“Not to forget the wildlife as I heard briefly.”
“That too. I’m so glad you weren’t there and I say that with much respect to you.”
“Thank you,” you said quietly.
That didn’t sound forward, did it?
“At least this is a much more safer environment to get to know one another.” James said.
At the closer proximity he could see that even the tip of your nose was glowing. He had never seen someone’s entire face illuminated before. To know it was from his presence, gave him an emotion he could not immediately place.
“How long do you plan on staying?”
The question struck him deep. James had not even left Vietnam when the war was over and even in Monarch he was not sure where he would stay. Was there a place for him in Monarch? He was a tracker and they were discovering monsters who lived below the Earth’s surface. He could find work there, but could he find a life there?
“As long as I am needed.”
~~~
(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.
Best wishes and happy reading.)
~~~~~
DreamerDragon Tags: @cubedtriangle
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**Let me know if you would like to be tagged in insert readers, either through replies, ask, or message.**
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hamliet · 4 years ago
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Spy Thriller + Murder Mystery + Cooking Show
When asked to describe The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, I can only describe its genre as being exactly as above. it’s as quirky as you’d expect, with genuinely compelling characters, plot twists to shock you, and compassion for every character, no matter how twisted.
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I believe TSOMD is based on a danmei novel, and you can see the “bromance” of Tang Fan and Sui Zhou is representative of something more than “just friends.” But, while both Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are excellent characters who each get strong development, the emotional core of the show is hardly either of them. Instead, the third main character, Wang Zhi (based on a real historical figure), steals the show’s heart and soul, undergoing one of the most beautiful, complex arcs I’ve seen in a long time, from scheming utilitarian to kind human. 
I’ll probably write a meta just about Wang Zhi’s arc, but the short version is that he’s based on a real-life eunuch (and eunuchs in imperial China, er, lost more than you’d think) who de facto ran the empire. His interactions with Tang Fan, Sui Zhou, their found family, as well as with the Emperor and the Noble Consort (his unofficial adopted parents) and his righthand man Ding Rong all offer him challenges. 
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In general, the show did excellently with the romances, both explicit and subtextual. Tang Fan and Sui Zhou were truly compelling, and seeing them develop together was lovely. Wang Zhi also has a subtextual romance with Ding Rong (it’s barely subtext, and directly parallel to Tang Fan/Sui Zhou multiple times) that is equally compelling. Explicitly, we have Pei Huai and Tang Yu, Lin Chaodong and his fiancee, Princess Gu’an and Wang Xian, the Emperor and Noble Consort, and even some puppy love from Dong’Er and Little Loach. Perhaps the only one the show didn’t sell me on was Duo’Erla and A’lasi.
I quite enjoyed the compassion the show had for mental illnesses and other disorders. It outright condemned people accusing those who suffer from ailments of demonic possession, and while it is set in the 1500s, Pei Huai, a doctor, offers some truly honest, accurate, and kind descriptions of post-traumatic stress disorder, which Sui Zhou suffers from, and autism, which Wang Xian has--and explicitly states, regarding the latter, that it is not an illness. It’s just a different way of thinking and processing. The show’s depiction of PTSD was extremely honest and realistic (and not gratuitous), as was its depiction of autism, and a panic attack. 
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The show also donates quite a bit of its time to exploring the past of its villains, humanizing them. Even the most disgusting ones, whom I loathed, I ended up crying for. It doesn’t excuse them, but it does show how human they still are at their core--and this, in turn, ties into the show’s main theme of humanity (Wang Zhi’s arc is entirely about learning to live as a full human). It offers redemption for many of them; some take it, some do not. 
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Female characters abound, and they are all unique and complex. From the child genius Dong’Er to the proper mother Tang Yu, to prostitute Qing Ge to disguised Jin San, to the kind and capricious Princess Gu’an and the fiesty Duo’Erla, the Emperor’s Mother to the Noble Consort, each character is unique and does not only exist to serve the male characters in the story: instead, they have their own to tell. 
However, I’d be remiss not to mention my issues as well. One prominent female character very much gets fridged at the end of her arc for manpain, and it’s incredibly frustrating. In addition, I was highly uncomfortable with what could be seen as racism towards the Oirat people. While there are a variety of Oirat characters and many are heroic, there was a balance the show tried to walk and didn’t entirely succeed. China’s record on treatment of minority people groups (which continues to this day with the Uygurs) makes it hard to give the show the benefit of the doubt in its iffy moments of Oirat portrayal.��
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englandsgray · 4 years ago
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Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020
Well hi 👋
Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...
I am English and somewhere over 30.  I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes.  The kiss is British television history.  Series 4 is my favourite.  Moriarty on the beach is life.  The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.
I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this.  I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!
Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms?  I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees.  Oh yes.  Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing.  So far so random!  Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown.  I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.  That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.  
You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge?   Thank you, firstly.  My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful.  I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of.  But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast.  I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it.  But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!       
What’s your favourite place and way to write?  My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous!  I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.   
Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go?  Did you outline/plot in advance?  First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots!  The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage.  At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB.  Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!)  As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone!  I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end.  I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting.  I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases.  How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work?  I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience.  Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods.  I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach.  I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on.  Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.) 
You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice.  That said, which character do you find easiest to write?  Which is the hardest?  Thank you so much.  I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style!  I find Molly and her POV really difficult.  I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me.  I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.
Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly?  The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards.  I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like.  I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.
There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’.  Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it?  Thank you!  Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for.  I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family.  This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street.  I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible.  I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that.  It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it.  But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will... 
Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist?  What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...
Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing.  It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.
How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently.  Life is very short, love is forever.
High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time.  The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.  
Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe!  Blame the zoom exercise class I do!  But oh my goodness, it’s Molly.  Bless her.
Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon.  Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons.  This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!
Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.
Thank you so much for reading.  Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️
Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...
“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜
X
A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193
A fav fic of mine by @ohaine
https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904
My stuff:
https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works
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Note
Wow--you did a great job with #1 and #21! It really hurt but it fit the situation so well. Well done!
Thanks anon :) I was a challenge for me to write something short and angsty for Jean and Lucien, instead of a fluffy Malice chapter fic :) But I quite enjoyed it. Maybe I should do more prompts?
For anyone who may have missed it, or didn’t want to click external links here it is.
Prompts were “I love you, please don’t go.” and “We’ll figure this out.”
Heartache
“Jean, wait,” Lucien reached out for Jean’s hand.
Jean slipped her hand from his instantly. “No Lucien. I shouldn’t even be here.” She looked to the closed door of the studio. “I just came to give you this.” She held out the ring box.
Lucien looked at the ring box but didn’t take it. “But I want you here.”
Jean’s voice was barely a whisper, “You can’t want this anymore, don’t you see Lucien?” She realised he wasn’t going to take the ring and put it down on the table. Tears sprang into her eyes as she forced her hand to leave the box there.
Lucien’s eyes glared at the ring box on the table, and there was an uncomfortable silence as he reflected on how everything had been turned upside down so quickly. “We’ll figure this out Jean, I promise.”
“How?” Jean cried as she finally cracked at his calm promise. “Just how do you think we can work this out?” Tears began to roll down her cheeks and embarrassed she turned away.
Lucien couldn’t bear it any longer. His calm facade shattered as he saw her turn her back to him. “No, Jean. Wait! I love you! Please don’t go!”
Jean stopped in her tracks but didn’t turn back to face him. She felt as if her heart was being torn apart. It was a cruel twist that this was the first time Lucien had said he loved her. These words she had longed to hear. “You can’t love me. Not anymore,” she whispered sadly. “You need to be with your wife.”
“I don’t love her Jean. Not like I used to. I mean how can I? I've been without her longer than we were together for. I believed she was dead.” Lucien stared at the back of her head, willing her to turn, knowing there was no easy fix for this mess.
Jean slowly turned to him, “Lucien, this is hard enough, don’t make things even more difficult.” She stared at him and as he settled his blue eyes on her, she exploded in tears once more. “I’m trying so hard! The whole town already thinks I’m your mistress! Mei Lin, sleeping in a hotel, me here, I won’t become your whore Lucien! ”
Lucien instinctively reached for her but she leant away from him, with anger in her face.
“No Lucien! This is completely unfair on Mei Lin,” she paused, “and on me,” she added quietly as she wiped her face.
“Bugger Mei Lin. I want you!” Lucien roared as he grabbed her hand desperately and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
Jean watched him with sad, wet eyes. “I’m sorry Lucien. This is just the way it has to be.” She pulled her hand from his again and straightened herself up. As she spoke her voice wobbled and a lone tear rolled down her cheek, “I am just the housekeeper. And you are the doctor. The married doctor. And that’s all there is to it.” She turned her back once more and this time walked out of the studio.
Lucien looked at the closed door and wiped his wet eyes which fell on the ring box. Sitting there innocently on the table completely unaware of the complete heartache surrounding it. He swiped it up angrily and had a sudden urge to throw it into the fire, but the thought left as quickly as it had arrived. He played with it in his hand as he stared moodily into the fire.  'How could he possibly make things right?'
On the other side of the door Jean leant against the wall and pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs as she let her tears run freely. 'How could this have all gone so wrong?'
Heartache ao3 Heartache ff.net
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ask-team-rainbow · 5 years ago
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R6 2020 New Year Motivational Messages (Defender’s Edition)
//Sorry this is a little late! Tumblr hated me for a little bit during New Years, but I still managed to get this all done!! Here’s the other half of the operator motivational messages for 2020~ I hope that all of you achieve your goals during the new year! I love you all so much, and I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting this blog and giving me a space to creatively write and enjoy the fandom in a new but fun environment.
-Writer for AskTeamRainbow
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“If there’s a will, there’s a way. You’ll find yours.” -James Porter
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“Find something you’re good at, something you like. Stick with it, and who knows? Maybe you can make a career out of it.” -Mark Chandar
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“The easiest mistake anyone can make is underestimating themselves. Don’t ever doubt your own abilities.” -Miles Campbell
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“Don’t stress about not knowing what you want to do. Sometimes the best thing you can do is step back, take a break, and come back to a situation with fresh eyes.” -Jack Estrada
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“Don’t ever forget who you are, or change yourself for the sake of someone else. Nothing is more important than staying true to yourself.” -Dominic Brunsmeier
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“Don’t forget to take care of yourself before you take care of others. You can’t help anyone if you aren’t at your best.” -Marius Streicher
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“Be the keeper of peace. Don’t resort to violence, and show others a better path. Let us build bridges, not burn them to the ground.” -Gustave Kateb
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“Trust in yourself. Trust that you can do whatever you set your mind to. Trust that no matter what happens, you’ll always get back up and stand tall. Trust that in the end, you’ll thrive.” -Julien Nizan
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“Don’t just watch. Listen, touch, feel, use all of resources to understand what is before you. Then, use that to conquer any challenge.” -Maxim Basuda
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“Mastery of anything comes from lots of experience. The more you practice, the more you evolve.” -Alexsandr Senaviev
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“Patience yields focus. Never rush in any endeavor, or else you may miss an important key to your success.” -Tina Lin Tsang
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“Keep your eyes on the prize. You’’ll get to your goal as long as you keep pushing forward.” -Meghan J. Castellano
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“Stand proud and don’t take anyone’s bullshit.” -Taina Pereira
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“Be proactive, always search for new ways to solve problems. Keeps the mind sharp and makes you intriguing to those around you.” -Masaru Enatsu
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“Look in the mirror and smile bright! You’ll see the true meaning of beautiful.” -Elena Alvarez
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“Do not let anyone’s words hurt you. Show them that they will never get the best of you and beat them at their own game.” -Liu Tze Long
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“Open your mind to new possibilities. Let your imagination flow.” -Elżbieta Bosak
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“Others may not see you, but that does not make you invisible. You just haven’t found the perfect person who can see you for you. Don’t try to force relationships, whatever they may be. It may end up changing you for the worst.” -Chul Kyung Hwa
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“Don’t stress yourself out and feel like you have to be in three places at once. That’s how you get yourself hurt.” -Aria de Luca
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“You are a shining star, the brightest out of any of the ones in the sky. You are brilliant, unique, and beautiful in your own ways. Don’t ever let anyone take that spark of life from you.” -Adriano Martello
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“If you want to fight for something you believe in, the first step is to be confident in yourself. If you aren’t confident in what you’re fighting for, how can others follow?” -Morowa Evans
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“Be the strongest by knowing when to stand your ground and when to back down. Every single one of you has the potential to lead others down a more peaceful path. Let us change the world together.” -Jalal El Fassi
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“If you’re always cooped up indoors, try taking a trip outside! Go around your neighborhood, take a little drive, go explore! Life’s too short to be inside 24/7. Always outside and adventuring alone? Find a friend to join you! Take them out and show them the fun in the world.” -Max Goose
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��You’ve all got spirit. You may not see it, but believe me when I say it’s there. Your spirits are incredible. Share your spark with others, and you might be surprised to see who else may share that same spark you have.” -Collinn McKinley
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“With each new year comes new possibilities for change. Should something be changed? Will it? Let’s all make changes together, and better the world one step at a time.” -César Ruiz Hernández
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“Don’t be afraid to take the plunge into something new. You may very well like it more than you thought.” -Ngũgĩ Muchoki Furaha
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terramythos · 4 years ago
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TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 6 of 26
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Title: The Killing Moon (Dreamblood #1) (2012)
Author: N. K. Jemisin
Genre/Tags: Fantasy, First-Person, Third-Person, Female Protagonist, LGBT Protagonist, Asexual Protagonist.
Rating: 8/10
Date Began: 2/07/2021
Date Finished: 2/13/2021
Peace is sacred in the walled city-state of Gujaareh, and must be maintained at any cost. The Gatherers are a priesthood tasked with maintaining this goal. In the name of Hananja, Goddess of the moon, they walk the city at night and harvest Dreamblood-- the magic of dreams-- from Gujaareh's denizens. They bring the peace of death to those who need it... and to those judged criminal or corrupt.
But something else haunts Gujaareh's streets. A Reaper, a rogue Gatherer driven to endless madness and hunger from Dreamblood, is preying on the innocent, casting their souls into an eternal nightmare. Ehiru, one of the elder Gatherers, finds himself caught in the middle of a political conspiracy between his priesthood, the holy Prince, and the monstrous Reaper. An insidious corruption runs deeper than Ehiru knows-- and it may be too late to stop. 
The Gatherer’s eyes glittered in her memory, so dark, so cold--but compassionate, too. That had been the truly terrifying thing. A killer with no malice in his heart: it was unnatural. With nothing in his heart, really, except the absolute conviction that murder could be right and true and holy. 
Full review, major spoilers, and content warnings under the cut.
Content warnings for the book: Graphic depictions of violence, gore, death, warfare, and murder-- including death of children and mass murder. Discussions of p*dophilia/grooming (nothing graphic). Brief reference to r*pe. One character is a minor infatuated with a much older character-- not reciprocated. Rigid gender and social roles, including slavery. Magic-induced addiction and withdrawal. Loss of sanity/altered mental states/mind control/gaslighting.
Last year I read N. K. Jemisin's short story collection How Long 'Til Black Future Month?  One of my favorite stories was The Narcomancer, which explored a vibrant, ancient Egypt-inspired world with themes of faith, dreams, violence, and duty. I wanted to read more from the universe, and finally got to do so with The Killing Moon, the first book in the Dreamblood duology.
Jemisin's creativity in worldbuilding is, in my opinion, unmatched in the fantasy genre. I thought Gujaareh was super interesting and fleshed out. While the ancient Egypt inspiration is obvious, it's also clearly an original fantasy culture in its own right. Everything from religious practices to social castes to gender roles to the fucking architecture felt methodical and thought out. The base premise of assassin priests compassionately harvesting magic from people is a fascinating idea and totally gripping. The pacing is a little slow, but I didn't mind so much because learning about the world was so fun.
While there's a hefty amount of worldbuilding exposition in the story, Jemisin doles out information gradually. Bits and pieces of Gujaareen law, etc are introduced at the beginning of each chapter, and usually have a thematic connection to the events of the story. Information is sparing at times, meaning that one doesn't have a full picture of how everything ties together until pretty far into the story. Even something as crucial as the dream-based magic system isn't fully realized until near the end. I like the mystery of this approach, and I can appreciate how difficult it must be to keep the reader invested vs frustrating them with a lack of info. Jemisin consistently does a great job with this in everything I've read by her.
I did want a little bit more from the narcomancy aspect of the story, since dream worlds are such a huge part of Gujaareen religion and culture. In The Killing Moon we see just a few dreamscapes, and then only briefly. There's so much potential with narcomancy as a magic system, yet most of what we see is an outside, "real-world" perspective, which isn't terribly unique compared to other kinds of magic. Dreamblood being a narcotic (heh) with some Extra Fantasy Stuff is interesting, but I wanted more. Perhaps The Shadowed Sun expands on this. 
Characterization is the other Big Thing with this book, as it's very much a character-driven story. Overall I'm torn. There's some things I really liked, and others that felt underdeveloped. I'll go over my favorite things first.
Ehiru is probably the strongest of the main cast, and I really enjoyed his character arc. Here's a guy who is completely devoted to his faith, regardless of what others may think of it. Yet he's not a self-righteous dick. He sees Gathering as a loving and holy thing, so when he errs in the line of duty, it totally consumes him. And things just get worse and worse for him as the story progresses. Say what you will about the Gatherers and the belief system of Gujaareh; Ehiru comes off as intensely caring, devoted, and compassionate, and I genuinely felt bad for him throughout the novel. I'm not religious but these kinds of faith narratives are super interesting to me.
Looking at characterization as a whole, I appreciate The Killing Moon's gray morality. No one in the story is wholly good or evil. The Gatherers are an obvious example, considering they murder people in the dead of night in the name of their Goddess-- but do so to help those in need. Despite being a megalomaniacal mass-murderer, the Prince has believable reasons for his horrific actions, and they’re not wholly selfish. Even the Reaper is a clear victim of Dreamblood's addictive and mind-altering nature; it sometimes regresses into the person it used to be, which is sad and disturbing. There's a lot of moral complexity in the characters and the laws and belief systems they follow. This kind of nuanced writing is much more interesting to read than a black and white approach.
Beyond this, though, I struggled to connect with the other leads. Nijiri's utter devotion to Ehiru is basically his whole character, and while the tragedy of that is interesting for its own reasons, I kept wanting more from him. Sunandi is a good "outsider perspective" character but I had a hard time understanding her at times. For example, the two most important people in her life, Kinja and Lin, die in quick succession. Yet besides a brief outburst when Lin dies, this barely seems to affect her. I get people mourn in all kinds of ways but it seems odd. Her sexual tension with Ehiru is also weird and underdeveloped. Perhaps this is meant to be a callback to The Narcomancer, but it doesn't accomplish much in this narrative.
Another issue I had was emotional connection to minor-yet-important characters. Kinja dies offscreen before the story, yet is supposed to be a big part of Sunandi's past (and thus emotional arc). But he's never even in a flashback, so I never felt WHY he mattered to her. Una-une is the big one, though. It's pretty easy to figure out he's the Reaper by process of elimination, but he's barely in the story outside of a few early mentions. There's this part near the end that's clearly meant to be an emotional moment; Ehiru realizes his (apparently beloved) mentor Una-une is the horrific monster, and thus a foil to the situation between himself and Nijiri. But we never saw the relationship between Ehiru and Una-une, and nothing really established this prior... so there's no emotional payoff. It felt at times like this book was part of a much longer story that for whatever reason we never got to see. In some ways that can be useful to make the world and history seem vast, but here it made me feel emotionally distant from several characters. Perhaps flashbacks with these important characters would have helped bridge the gap. 
Credit where it's due, though; it's clear a lot of the dark, often brutal tone and stylistic flair in The Killing Moon was adapted into Jemisin's fantastic Broken Earth trilogy. Probably the most notable are the cryptic interlude chapters told from the perspective of a mysterious character whose identity is unknown until the end. We learn bits and pieces of the beliefs and lore of the world through excerpts of common laws and wisdom. I also liked the occasional stream-of-consciousness writing during tense or surreal moments. The Broken Earth is an improvement overall, but I can appreciate The Killing Moon for establishing some of these techniques early.
I enjoyed this book overall and am planning to read The Shadowed Sun. While I have some criticisms about The Killing Moon, I think it just suffers in comparison to other works I've read by Jemisin. It was still an entertaining and intense read, with a captivating and original world. It's not a story for the faint of heart, though, so please mind the content warnings.  
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notgonnarememberthis · 4 years ago
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A Compromising Engagement - Chapter 5
Inspiration strikes out of nowhere but here we are! Honestly I got this idea while on a trip a while back. It’s been sitting in my head for a minute but FINALLY the ideas started flowing. Once I get conversations in my head THEN I know it’s time to begin writing. Honestly, getting inspiration for this was rough recently because I have a new fic idea that absolutely will not leave my head. I was trying to force myself to think for this one instead so I could finish a work first but that’s literally the worst idea when you’re trying to write something. Once I stopped pressuring myself, BOOM, idea. I also had to watch an episode to get their voices straight in my head again but that’s another story. Hope y’all are staying safe!
Watson settles into her seat eyes piercing the suspect across from her. The woman is eerily familiar to her, a pompous air that resonates from her very being. An attitude calling that she can’t be caught.
The case is a rough one, triple homicide with no solid evidence. Even what they managed to obtain from witnesses is circumstantial at best. The woman knows that without a confession, she’d slide by in court. Enough money for a good lawyer and an alibi that she didn’t trust. She’d been at this for an hour and she’s growing weary. There’s absolutely no security footage of her where she claimed to be. It simply doesn’t make sense.
A scream cuts her question short. She leaps up into action, medical instincts taking over as people outside the door call for 911. She grabs the door handle only for it to remain still in her hand. She tries again and again only for the realization to dawn on her that she’s locked inside. “Sherlock?” She calls to her partner who should be just on the other side of the mirror. “Sherlock let me out so I can help!” Her heart sinks when there’s no response. “Marcus?” Again, nothing. “Abreu? Coventry?” Nobody’s on the other side. Great.
She pounds on the door hoping to catch somebody’s attention. “Someone! Let me out! I can help!” She shouts. A chuckle behind her sends a chill down her spine. Her eyes flash back to the woman in the handcuffs, Elana March sits where the woman once was. A wicked grin spreads across her face.
Action settles into her as she pulls out the keychain Kitty gifted her for her birthday. She presses the blunt end against the two way mirror turning her head as the spike inside shatters the glass. She hoists herself through the new opening, adrenaline rushing too fast to feel the glass likely piercing her palms. She reaches for the door only for it to stubbornly stay in place yet again. She looks through the window in the door hoping to catch anyone passing, even in a rush to assist but what catches her eyes sends her into full blown panic.
Two cups of coffee spill across the precinct floor. Marcus is leaning over an all to familiar form giving manic chest compressions. “Sherlock!” All sense leaves her as she slams her shoulder into the door, trying desperately to force it to swing open. “Sherlock!” She cries his name, tears spilling down her cheeks. A scream rips through her when Marcus sits back on his feet, grief consuming his expression.
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She shoots out of bed with a strangled gasp desperately trying to catch her breath. It takes her mind a second to catch up to her surroundings. A shadow passes across her room and her body moves unconsciously fetching her singlestick from her bedside drawer. She’s not quick enough, however, as the looming figure catches her wrist midswing.
“Watson!” Sherlock shouts, snapping her out of her state. He sits on her bed in front of her, worry etched into his face. She disguards her singlestick flicking on her lamp.
Her chest is still heaving from adrenaline as she tries to piece together what happened. “Why are you in here?” His brows furrow, confused.
“You were screaming my name.” His knees bounce trying to rid of the remaining anxiety in his own way. “I thought you were in danger.”
Her eyes close in both embarrassment and realization. Her nightmares had been recurrent since that night she stood up to Morland. They all ended the same with someone she cared about dead by the hands of someone she and/or Sherlock helped put away. This one, however, was the worst of the bunch. “You’re hurt.” His right hand is held close to him but she can tell he’s bleeding.
“I was doing an experiment when I heard you scream. I wasn’t careful getting out of it but it’s fine. Merely a scratch.”
“Let me look at it.”
“Watson.” He tries to bat her off again but she only looks at him. A look that tells him that she needs this right now. He obediently follows her to the bathroom for supplies and better lighting.
Once in there she determines that he is correct. It’s a painful cut but stitches are not necessary, thankfully. An apology is on the edge of her tongue when he speaks up instead. 
“What was the dream about?” She tenses not wishing to explain. Not when she’s had so many in the course of two weeks. He’d understand, of course he’d understand. The answer is simple.
“Make sure you wash this so it doesn’t get infected. I’ll go clean up the mess from the experiment.”
He catches her wrist as she tries to walk away. His grip is more gentle than before, his eyes begging her to talk to him. “Joan.” Her name makes her breath catch and for a moment, she wants to tell him everything. How she’s been extra on edge since Morland’s threat to remove his ‘extra security’ if there ever even was such a thing. It did its job, however, as she always brings her singlestick on cases now. She wants to tell him about how she’s worried he’ll take their whole livelihood away in one fell swoop. She knows he supports what she said that night, yet parts of her wish she could just take it back. Taking it back, however, would mean not standing up for Sherlock and that’s absolutely not an option.
“I’m fine.” She insists instead. It’s easier than explaining what he already probably knows.
He doesn’t push, thankfully. He only nods slightly with a sad smile. “Very well. I’ll clean up my mess. You get some rest, we have lunch with your family tomorrow, remember?”
“My mother won’t let me forget.” She jokes halfheartedly. He relaxes slightly at the return of the banter and it’s enough for now. She sulks back to her room hoping to reach a point where she’s tired enough to fall in a dreamless sleep.
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Sherlock keeps his eyes on her the next day. The rest of the night he’d kept quiet, listening for even the slightest cry. When none came he assumed she’d managed to fall into a peaceful sleep and resumed his experiment. However, when she came down the steps ready for lunch it’s more than clear to him that she hadn’t slept any more at all.
He makes no mention of it, only making her a cup of coffee before they set out which she gratefully accepted. She hides her exhaustion well with others but he’s more than familiar with it by now. With his habits of waking her up early he’s recognized her patterns at different levels of needing sleep. He tries to curb his concern when she drags her feet across the kitchen floor. He bites his tongue when she catches herself going to rub her eyes for the third time only stopping to not ruin her makeup concealing the dark circles under her eyes. He rocks when he has to repeat himself several times when she misses something he says about the experiment he’d conducted the night prior. She’s far too tired, is what he concludes. A type of tired where if they had a case he’d wait another hour before waking her lest he be on the wrong end of a snap in her exhaustion.
“You ready?” Her head lifts following the sound of his voice. He wishes he could give her more time for her coffee to kick in but they’re behind as is.
“Remind me why we scheduled this again? As if that brunch with my mother was bad enough now we have to answer to Oren, Grace, and Lin?”
“Come to recall I don’t believe Lin gave us a choice in the matter.”
“Right.” She chuckles dryly. “Let’s go.”
The ride to the restaurant is blissfully long. It gives Watson the time she needs to wake and him time to think. Not that he hadn’t done it all night but paired with the opportunity to observe Watson, it’s beneficial at least. She no longer seems shaken by the events of the night prior, also not shocking as Watson in the past has pushed back emotions for the lack of confrontation. 
Everyone is already seated when they arrive at the restaurant. Sherlock places a hand at the base of Watson’s back for the appearance but stays back when she goes in to hug her family. He waves politely pulling out Watson’s seat before taking his own.
Conversation flows naturally with the Watson family, all things given. She seems to forget her exhaustion as they discuss how they’ve all been recently, though she does order a coffee with her meal.
“I can’t believe I had to find out about your engagement through mom.” Oren laughs. Watson shifts in her seat a little only offering an apologetic smile.
“At least you found out through someone.” Lin challenges, “I found out via the engagement party invitation.”
“And she will never let me hear the end of it.” Watson shrugs. “Truthfully we were going to keep it a secret for the sake of professionalism and the danger in our jobs.”
Lin gasps, a realization hitting her. “Did you never tell Marcus?”
“No, we didn’t.” Sherlock provides biting the inside of his cheek.
“He’s going to flip when he hears about it. I mean, the whole precinct had a pool deciding when you two were going to get together but engaged?”
“They had a what?” Watson sits up a little straighter, “How do you know about this?”
“I’m the confirmation for when you two finally get together.” He and Watson both share a look of alarm.
“Did you tell anyone?” He asks, Watson’s hand grabs his leg under the table. He’s not sure if he’s grounding her or the other way around. The entire precinct knowing about their ‘engagement’ would complicate things in unimaginable ways. They’d already lied to Hannah at the gala. If that were to get out they’d be dealing with more than minor knowing looks from coworkers but actual anger and hurt from Bell and Gregson both. Dealing with wedding questions from family was bad enough. In the workplace? Sherlock can only grab her wrist in return in order to keep himself from spiraling.
“Of course not. I got Joan’s message loud and clear that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. Nobody has even asked recently so you’re off the hook.”
They both breathe a sigh of relief. He lets her go but Watson’s hand remains, though relaxing her grip. He’s caught by how natural the position feels. Simply holding each other was an action he’d never thought he’d find so comforting yet her hand just above his knee curbs his anxieties he’d been feeling having to pretend. They’re partners, afterall, how much pretending did they really need?
The rest of lunch is unremarkable at best. Discussion of wedding ideas fended off with excuses over how busy they’ve been with work. Lin threatened to plan for them and for a moment it didn’t sound like a horrible idea until he thought of how long that guest list would be.
He shakes his head when that thought truly settled in. How long had he been thinking like this engagement was real? Thoughts of actual weddings and Watson going dress shopping as if that weren’t something Mary and the whole Watson clan in general wouldn’t want to be involved with.
“I think I broke him.” Lin teases gently. He’s more than used to her at this point but he’s certainly overwhelmed. Watson squeezes his knee pulling his gaze to her.
“It’s ok.” She coaxes with a smile that could calm him instantly, “We’ll figure it out.” He offers her a small smile, if only she knew what he was trying to figure out.
When they say their goodbyes his hand reaches for Watson’s, his fingers interlacing with hers as they make their way to the car. Even as the climb in the back of a cab his hand covers hers in the drive finding the comfort he yearns for in the simple touch. He didn’t realize how badly he needed it until she climbed out when they arrived home and her touch was gone.
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He almost forgets about Watson’s nightmare in the panic that gripped his mind for the rest of the night. It’s not until Watson lingers in his doorway, her face more vulnerable than she lets most view her as, that he remembers the encounter. She schools her emotions so well most days.
“Any new cases?” Her voice sounds pleading and tired.
“I thought you’d be reading your book right now.”
“I finished it last night.” She admits with a sigh.
“Unfortunately nothing. It appears all the interesting murders have taken a holiday.” He jests, “I’d say let's take a trip to New York City but I believe they’re not quite keen on having me back any time soon.”
“Well you did lick what they thought was a deadly poison and made an officer faint.”
“Anyone with a sense of smell knew that it was italian dressing Watson.” She looks away when he meets her gaze. “Are you alright?”
“Fine.”
“Clearly not.” She shifts her weight from left to right and back again.
“You died.” He rears back, almost shocked that she relented so easily. “I was stuck in interrogation with a suspect and I heard screaming. I was locked inside and I couldn’t get out. I saw you on the ground. Marcus just stopped trying to save you. Nobody could hear me and I could’ve helped, I know I could but.” He’s up easily and in two steps he’s wrapped his arms around her. Her hands freeze in the air but when he holds her tighter she relents trembling in his arms like he could make it all stop.
“It’s alright.” He whispers into her hair. “I’m ok.” He feels her nod into his shoulder. He’s more than familiar with these nightmares, however. No amount of words can shake that uneasiness they bring. “Was this the only one?”
Her silence is enough of an answer as is.
“Only me?”
She tightens her grip but he can feel the just barely there shake of her head. “We saw your family today. They’re happy, if a tad relentless in pushing us to plan our fake wedding.” He feels her shoulders shake: a laugh, that’s good. “Kitty and Archie are likely cuddled up together after watching a Disney movie that Kitty pretends not to like but we both know she’s a secret softie hm?” A nod. “As for me. Well, you can stay in my bed if you’d like that way I’m right here if you need me.”
She stiffens and for a moment he believes he’s gone too far. She lets out an agonizingly long breath contemplating his offer. She swallows heavily, nodding more distinctly this time. It’s slow, almost giving herself the opportunity to change her mind. He guides her to the bed laying down first, controlling his breathing tightly so as to not make the smallest move that could scare her off.
She looks so small as she crawls in beside him. This woman that he associates with so much strength looking so vulnerable in this moment. He wishes he could take her pain on as his own. He’d do it in a second if he could. He opens an arm making the silent offer to her. A small smile that he hopes tells her if she doesn’t need it she doesn’t have to take it.
He has to force himself not to stop breathing when her head settles on his bare chest where she can listen to his racing heart. Her hand comes to rest on the base of his ribs content to just feel like slight expansion and contraction of his breathing. His own hand settles on her back, content to spell out meaningless formulas and ludicrous patterns until she’s lulled into a deep restful sleep.
He listens to her slow even breaths as his eyes drift closed.
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@tamarknott @averageinside
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laurazepamwrites · 4 years ago
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The Chemicals between us ~ Chapter 13
 After their visit to Pix Elle, Mei and Angela had tried the other addresses of the missing omnics without further luck. One had refused to let them in at all and the other address was abandoned altogether, the premises ransacked of what little possessions left. The only thing to remain was the strange Omnic graffiti again. After this Angela insisted on some downtime to collect their thoughts by going to the fashion museum then feeling inspired by this, went shopping for ‘just one new pair of shoes and a dress.’ The boot of the car now loaded with a number of high end bags, they made their way to the bustling Port of Calais to find answers at Hubs most recent place of work. Seagulls screamed overhead and the salt in the air was strong. Huge cruise ships and cargo containers lined the docks. They parked close by and followed the signs for the shipping and logistics companies further along. Mei looked around as they walked past surly looking men, huge cranes unloading steel containers and security droids scanning for anything illegal. She caught sight of a sketchy looking Omnic in shabby clothes who stopped to give her and her companion a look of suspicion. Mei glanced away quickly and kept her eyes peeled for the Global freight logo. Luckily she did not need to search far.
 ‘Hey hey hey you ladies cant be down here!” A large man wearing a hi vis jacket and hardhat shouted across to them in a french accent. “Cruise ships are on the other side! Bloody tourists..”
 “Is this Global Freight?” Angela asked, ignoring him.
 “You health and safety? You're not due to next wednesday.”
   “My name Is Amander Muller and this is Lin Chang, we’re looking for Hub 0.5. We understand he works here?”
 “You police?”
 “Non monsieur, we’re journalists for the Connexion. Might I know your name?”
 He scratched his stubble of a beard and looked them both up and down. “Too pretty to be pigs I guess..names Vic Dubrand. I'm the foreman here. Now why are you after that rust bucket Hub?”
 “He may help us with a report we are working on but have unable to locate him. Even his wife hasn't seen him for days.” Said Angela.
 “You think I have? Look lady, Hub came to work as usual then never shows up again. Far as i'm concerned he don't work for me no more. Already got a bot to replace him.”
 “How was he? When you last saw him?” Mei asked
 Dubrand smirked at her. “Its an Omnic sweetheart, you think they have feelings or bad days like we do? He comes to work, does what hes programmed to, goes home. Ah mind you, he did argue with some other bots down by the old containers last week. I think they were some layabouts with no jobs causing trouble.”
 Mei and Angela exchanged glances. “When was this?” Angela asked.
 “Dunno exactly, about two days before he disappears.”
 “Did you see the Omnics he argued with again?”
 “Non, they just come by, paint their stupid propaganda and leave. Hub scrubbed most of it off.”
 “Where's the container?”
 Dubrand turned and vaguely gestured behind him. “Somewhere over there, I don't give a shit about what Omnics get up to as long as they know their place. Not much else to tell you.” He adjusted his hard hat and began walking back to his site office. “You get hit with a falling container not my fault!” He added before shutting the door.
 “Charming man..” Mei said bitterly.
 It only took them a couple of minutes to find the container Dubrand mentioned. It had been scrubbed hard to dispose of the spray paint but the strange code was just about visible. It was the same they had found at nearly every site an Omnic had disappeared. “This cant be a coincidence can it?” Asked Mei, kneeling down to run her fingers over the paint which flaked off at her touch.
 “Its certainly suspicious, but keep in mind there are posters and art everywhere for pro and anti Omnic. This could just be the latest one..see? look over there, there's a sticker that says ‘Humans cant be trusted.’”
 “I think you're right, but I'm going to send Athena a picture of this code just in case.” Mei replied, taking her camera out and taking a few snaps.
 Angela looked at her watch. “Good idea..we should head back, not much else to do until the rally tomorrow.”
 They headed back along the docks and to the street where they had left the car. As they walked Mei noticed Angela glance around behind them. “Act normal Mei and walk straight past the car.” Mei frowned up at her. “Whats wrong?”
 “We’re being followed. Look ahead and stay calm.”
 Mei did as she was told and resisted the urge to look behind her, she had no idea who was following them or how far behind but she was glad Angela had experienced enough to know they were in potential danger. She followed Angelas lead and soon the doctor led them to an alleyway. Angela pulled Mei behind her and took out her gun, aiming it at the entrance then at the head of their stalker who turned into the alley seconds later.
 “Whoa whoa whoa! Lady, that's a bit much!”  The shabby, rust speckled Omnic Mei noticed at the docks threw his hands up in surrender.
 Angela kept her pistol well aimed. “Who are you and what do you want?”
 “Sal! My names Sal, short for Shipping analysis lo-”
 “What do you want!” Snapped Angela.
 “Gee are you always this cranky? Can you put the gun down? it's making me      very    nervous.”
 Angela narrowed her eyes at the strange Omnic and lowered her weapon but kept a firm grip on it. “Talk.”
 “I heard you, back at the docks? You said you're looking for Hub..I know him.”
 “You're not the only one so why follow us? What do you know?” Asked Angela.
 “Know you’re not reporters. Old Sal here knows the media cares not for me and mine unless its something bad. You think they care if we go missing? If I had a mouth I'd spit!”
 Angela began to raise her gun again. “If you have no viable information than..”
 “I saw Hub get taken!” Sal exclaimed, cowering slightly. “He..he saw some strange omnics graffiting at the docks. He told them to clear off but they just stood there, Hub didn't move either! I couldn't understand what they were saying, we Omnics speak to each other in Omnicode but I couldn't understand this. It was like another language but Hub.. he understood. He let them go. I tried to talk to him after but he was acting weird..said he needed to ‘wake up’. Then Dubrand shouts at us to get back to work but I followed Hub home that night. I was worried..I watched him walk to the front of his apartment and the same image was there, he just stares at it and looked like he was waiting for something.”
 “Did you try to talk to him at all?” Mei asked, feeling slightly unnerved by Sals story.
 “I shouted his name and was about to go to him but a car comes round the corner, black windows. I couldn't see who was driving. Hub he..he just gets in! I think they saw me. They didn't drive away until I left. I can't go to the police, they don't care and then you ladies show up!”
 “Can you read the code on the painting?” Mei showed him the picture she took at the docks but Sal just shook his head. “Nothing Ive seen before. We Omnics all speak the same code, its how we communicate. Its how the defected had such an upper hand in the war. But this? This is just gibberish!”
 Angela holstered her gun. “Sal, I think you need to come with us. From what you have seen I think you may be in danger.”
 Sal shook his head and back off. “No thanks lady, still don't trust you. You could be the bad guys for all i know..oh I think I made a mistake talking to you. See Sal you just need to keep ya head down and shut up. That's what Dubrand always told ya..Ol Hub is probably just fine.” He backed up to the end of the alley and briskly walked away muttering to himself.  Mei looked from Sal to Angela. “Do we follow him?”
 “It would draw too much attention trying to force a twitchy Omnic like that in the car, besides we need to get this information to the Commander as soon as possible. Has Athena come back with any results?”
 Mei checked her phone for any contact. “No, not yet.”
 “Lets go. We’ll head back to the hotel and write up what we know so far, this isn't good Mei. I dread to think what this could all mean.”
                          -----------------------------------------------------------
 Ana and Satya watched each other intensely, waiting for the other to make their move. Satyas gauntlet glowed as she prepared to manipulate a cube of hard light between her fingers and Ana had her sleep dart aimed at her heart.
 “Ill ask again..what are you doing?” Satya asked coldly.
 “Would you believe me if i said i was the cleaning lady?” Ana smirked.
 “You kill a vishkar employee and you make jokes?”
 Ana tutted. “Oh shes not dead, just asleep. You are welcome to join her unless you power down that glove of yours.”
 “You think to challenge me?” Satya scoffed. “Do you know who I am.”
 “Yes my dear I know who you are. I wonder if you do.”
 The question confused Satya and the lack of focus showed in the hardlight that quivered in her hand. Ana saw the lapse in concentration, she could have shot her there and then, wipe Satya’s computer and leave the way she came, but she decided not to. Instead she placed her sleep dart at her feet, kicked it away from her and raised her hands, all the while smiling at Satya. As quickly as the sleep dart had fallen still on the spotless carpet had hardlight binds wrapped around Anas wrists. Ana looked down at the near transparent, crystal blue solid light. It was hard not to admire the craftsmanship behind it.
 “Well you caught me, and what will you do now I wonder?” Ana cheerfully asked. “Call security? Police? Maybe you and I can have a little chat before you do that?”
 “Silence! Before I bind your mouth too.”
 “A pity my dear, wouldn't you like to hear what an old Overwatch Captain has to say?”
 The binds flickered for a split second but Satya held firm. She could not keep this up for longer. Focusing hardlight was incredibly difficult which made Architects highly valuable. Soon she would need to make the decision to call security, drag her there herself or release her and talk. She had surrendered after all and the curiosity over this womans strange actions were dulling her focus.
 “Who are you?” She eventually asked.
 “My name is Captain Ana Amari. I am not here to hurt you or anyone else Satya. I'm trying to prevent that from happening to anyone.”
 “Why have you come here?”
 “Because Vishkar are potentially a threat, and you are much easier to get to then Mr Korpal. I wonder dear..do you know who you work for?”
 The binds cracked and loosened before solidifying once again. “How dare you.” Satya breathed hard. “Vishkar is building a better future for humanity, we have built home for the displaced, we-!”
 “Impose martial law to control people? My dear you are not unintelligent, did you ever stop to think what Vishkar was doing was unethical?”
 “We...I..I just want to make a better world.”
 Ana smiled sympathetically at her. “So do we Satya, but i don't think you’ll get the world you want by being Sanjay's puppet.”
 The binds disappeared completely in specks of light that glinted as they fell. A bead of sweat ran down Satyas face. “I owe him everything.” she said weakly.
 “No dear, i think you owe yourself that credit.” Ana said, pulling the microchip from the computer. She handed it to Satya. “Take it. I don't think what I am looking for is here after all.”
 Satya took it from her cautiously. Ana fished in her bag and pulled out a small notepad and quickly jotted down something, tore the page out and gave it to Satya.
 “This is my personal number, listen to your gut feeling and you call me when you really want to change the world.” Satya stared at it, plagued by questions and her head swimming with confusion. She opened her mouth to ask Ana more but instead a soft “      Oh!”    escaped her lips as she felt a quick sharp prick on her arm. Looking down she saw a tiny dart sticking in her skin like a small insect, she felt woozy.
 “Im sorry Satya but I really must be going.” Ana said sincerely, like she had stopped by for a visit with an old friend. She gently took the Architect's unresisting arm and sat her down on the sofa. Ana brushed a loose strand of her behind her ear. “Nxt time you see Sanjay..ask him. Ask him about Talon. Soon you will understand.”
 Satya mouthed silent words, unable to speak, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. She heard the door to her office shut softly, the      ding    of the elevator as it arrived on its floor. She slumped softly onto her side.
 “Am I a puppet?” She thought before falling asleep.
                     ------------------------------------------------------------
 Mei tossed and turned in the hotel bed, struggling to sleep. It was more frustrating here, she was on a mission and needed to be rested. As soon as they returned from their strange meeting with the Omnic named Sal, Angela had called back to base and updated Morrison on their investigation. He was concerned with their findings and warned them to be cautious and to find out what they could at the rally. She looked at the time on her phone. It was almost two in the morning. Feeling the insomnia defeat her for now she opened up her messages to check for the millionth time if she had any feedback from Athena. As she expected there was none, but something did catch her attention. Athena had set up a private network for the occupants of the Gibraltar base to stay in contact when out in the field or on opposite ends of the building. Mei occasionally checked it for messages, usually very late at night. Most of the time she noticed Junkrat was also awake at stupid o clock in the morning, just like he was tonight. Mei considered messaging him but what would she say? Her first thought was ‘Haha turns out this mission was a lot bigger than you thought.’ But that wasn't very becoming of her, she thought maybe she could just say hi, but she felt awkward doing even that. Especially if he poked fun or even ignored her. Still, she did wonder why he was up so late and so often. Angela mumbled something in her sleep and rolled over, Mei yawned and decided it was time to try and sleep again before she got herself annoyed again over the Junker. Still, he did prove to be a good distraction as Mei was soundly asleep a short time later.
 Mei woke up before her alarm the following morning, she had quietly slipped out of bed, washed and changed before heading down to the breakfast bar alone. She kept checking her phone, no update from anyone back at base. Mei took note of the time, It was nearly eight in the morning, another ten hours to go before they were due at the extraction site. She mulled over what they had found out from yesterday's leads and kept coming back to the strange conversation with Sal. Who were the Omnics who spoke to Hub? Had he really just left with them on his own accord? And what about the strange code on the graffiti? Did it connect to the strange language Hub apparently used? Mei had begun to wonder how much of Sal’s story was even credible. She jumped slightly as a coffee mug was placed on the table, jolting her from her thoughts. “Sleep well?” Angela asked brightly, sitting opposite Mei.
 “I think so, how about you?”
 “Hmm the pillows were too soft.” Angela complained, massaging the back of her neck. “Still, the mattress is a lot better than my one back at base.” Mei smiled in response and absent mindedly pulled apart the croissant in front of her.
 “Nervous?” Angela asked.
 “I guess? I'm worried how the rally will go. They start off with good intentions..but you know how some get.”
 “If that happens we leave as quickly as possible. We’re not in a position for combat and we can't give ourselves away. Just stay with me and we’ll be fine.” She gave Mei a reassuring smile which Mei returned, the anxiety still gnawing away at her. They finished up their breakfast and headed back to the room to start packing their belongings. Mei trying to coax an angry snowball to go into sleep mode and to be placed in a large duffel bag again and Angela delicately placing her new clothes into her luggage with as little creasing as possible. It was past ten in the morning when they checked out and loaded the car with their suitcases. They planned to be at the rally location by midday to get a good spot for surveillance so had spent some time wandering the streets and had a light lunch at a local cafe near to the square where the rally was to be held. As midday approached they headed to the square, it was already filling with people and omnics alike. Some held placards with pro omnic slogans whilst others opted for banners and flags. The atmosphere was jovial as music began to play as sound checks were being made on stage. Angea and Mei inched further forward,opting to be close to the stage and the large marquee next to it which Mei assumed was for the organizers and guests.
 “Over here Mei.” Said Angela, signalling to a free space by the metal crowd control barriers. “So now we wait.” She said, leaning on the barrier. “Chances are nothing will happen so may as well try to enjoy ourselves. There's a band playing after the speeches.”
 “I’m not sticking around so you can have a dance.”
 “You’ve really lost your sense of fun.”
 “We’re working!”
 “We’re blending in, go on - shout something pro Omnic!”
 “Angela I really don't want to draw attention to my-Owww!” Mei whined and covered her ears as Angela winced, most of the crowd copied their behavior and complained loudly as the speakers on stage blasted a high pitch feedback.
 “Désolé! Je suis désolé! Sorry everyone!” An omnic rushed to the mic to apologize for the noise. “Bad soundcheck but we’re almost ready to begin!”
 “Huh, earlier than expected.” Noted Angela as she looked at her phone which had started to vibrate. “Hello? Jack?” Angela answered her phone and looked confused. “Hello?” She looked at her phone and pressed the screen. “Weird.” She said, hanging up. “Maybe he called by mistake.”
 “What do you mean?” Mei asked.
 “I couldn't hear him, just strange noises..maybe there's a bad signal here.”
 “Maybe..” Mei hoped it was something that simple, looking around she noticed some omnics still recovering from the harsh feedback noise. Some were shaking their heads, others looked rather dazed. It must affect them more than humans. “What if he was calling about the code?” She asked Angela. The Doctor was already on it and had her phone pressed to her ear. “No..nothing.” She said hanging up. “Can you try?” But Mei had the same result, she even tried Winston and Reinhardt, stranger still was that she had full signal on her phone. Out of the corner of her eye she saw an Omnic stumble on the spot..her anxiety started to flare up and she barely heard the announcement on stage. She heard the crowd cheering louder and she glanced up at the stage, her eyes widening.
 “Angela..its Liberte..!” But Angela was fully aware the presumed missing Omnic had made a sudden appearance. The crowd cheered as the artist came on stage. “Maybe it was personal reasons after all.” She looked up at Angela who was frowning at the Omnic, “What is it?” Mei asked, following her gaze. Liberte had reached the microphone and simply stood there, not greeting his audience, not saying a word. The cheering had died down and there was awkward laughter and mutterings from the crowd. “Maybe this is a live art piece!” Mei overheard someone say.
 Liberte stood silent a minute more then very slowly his head began to raise, it jerked to the side suddenly as if he just got shocked. He began to speak. “Brothers, sisters. What a sad sight you are before me..” The crowd murmured, confusion rippling among them. “We have been victims from the day we were born from our Mother Omniums into this ravaged planet. We have been made scapegoats to Mankind's own failures. We have been murdered, mutilated and made into slaves by our oppressors!” Mei looked through the crowd, some were nodding their heads in agreement, others looking nervous. Some humans had already begun to leave, she saw some of the Omnics affected by the high pitch noise from earlier and felt her stomach knot. They stood completely still, heads down, no glow to their eyes. As if they were sleeping. “Angela…?” She said nervously.
 “We’re leaving. Nice and easy and keep calm” The doctor said, taking Mei’s arm and turning her around. As they began to push back through the crowd Liberte continued to speak. “You traitors that slave under human rule.” His head jerked violently, his eyes flashed. “You cowards that live in fear of flesh and blood! We are the stronger race!” Liberte screamed and jerked.       “    We are the cure! -      Jerk-    We will rise from the ashes of our dead and the bones of our oppressors!”
 The crowd was getting stirred up as humans and Omnics alike tried to leave, there were shouts for Liberte to leave the stage and a bottle was even thrown at him, the glass smashing on stage yet he did not even flinch, shouts for uprising, shouts for a new crisis. Scuffling broke out nearby in the crowd and one of the sleeping Omnics was shoved hard, falling to the ground. Mei looked back and hesitated. “Angela wait!” She shouted, making her decision and rushing back to the fallen Omnic. She crouched by him and shook him but there was no light in his eyes and he made no movement. “Leave him Mei!” Angela grabbed her and half dragged her upwards on to her feet. She had her phone pressed to her ear again. “Dammit!” She shouted, still getting no signal to contact base. “This was planned! We need to get out of here before a riot happens.”
 “Liberte! Angela look at Liberte!”
 Liberte was jerking more violently, his eyes flashing from blue to red, he gripped the microphone stand to support himself and a burst of sparks flew from circuits on his neck. “The eye is lost but the eye will open! It's time to wake up.” A final jerk and his eyes went dead and his head slumped forward, mirroring the ‘sleeping’ Omnics standing like sentinels in the panicking crowd. Slowly his eyes glowed red and he raised his head, a strange sound erupting from the speakers. High pitched noises of different frequencies almost sounding like a song as it pulsated from the speakers. It took a few seconds for Mei to realize Liberte was making the noise. “Wha..What is that?”
 The strange noise stopped and Liberte began to laugh as oil started to drip from his red glowing eyes, his omnic mouth and from joints in his body. “The eye is opening!” He screamed as his body jerked and crackled from exploding circuits within him as he slumped forward and fell from the stage.
 “We need to get to him! Mei, head to the barriers.” They went back on themselves, finding it much harder as the crowd pushed back against them as they tried to leave. More projectiles were being thrown and the atmosphere increasingly heated. Mei saw the fallen omnic on the ground, his metal fingers twitching, she barely registered him this time, she was scared and felt incredibly exposed. Angelas hand on her shoulder was the only thing keeping her grounded as her small frame was shoved and pushed by those around her. She gasped and ducked as something smashed against a wall close by. The shouting was getting too much..she could hear sirens blaring and getting closer. “Keep going, almost there.” Angela said. Fuelled by adrenaline they reached the barriers, Angela vaulting herself over them and reaching back to help pull Mei over. She felt instantly safer with the barriers between them and the increasingly angry crowd. As she caught her breath she spotted Liberte sprawled on the ground below the stage, Angela was already rushing to him.
 “Liberte? What happened? Who did this to you?”
 His eyes had gone back to their normal blue, he was gasping like his body was in pain. “Where-am-I?”
 “Sshh It's ok, its ok. We’re gonna help you, we’re getting you out of here.”
 Mei’s head snapped to the crowd as the shouting suddenly began to change pitch to frightened screaming. More pockets of fighting were breaking out and others had started to rush the barriers, she backed up against the stage, broken glass cracking under her feet.
 Liberte gasped and reached up, pulling at Angela's shirt. He rasped and gurgled. It was an awful sound, an awful sight, as the oil bubbled as it leaked from him like blood. His eyes began to flicker and dull. His voice crackled as he tried to speak. “The-They are-c-c-calling.”
 “Who? Who's calling? Liberte..? Liberte!?” Angela shook him but his eyes were now dull. He was dead.
 “Angela! Behind you!”
 Angela felt something claw viciously at her back, She scrambled up, half stumbled over libertes dead body and fell against the stage, spinning herself she aimed her pistol and fired. One of the ‘sleeping’ Omnics fell heavily to the ground, a smoking hole between its eyes. Angela and Mei looked on in horror as the omnics that stood silent were now very much animated and attacking whatever was near them, their eyes glowing red. Mei watched as the one she tried to help had risen from the ground and was viciously attacking someone. She felt sick.
 “Mei! Down there!” Angela pulled her along after her, pistol in hand, towards a small side street lined with boutique shops and cafes that had closed for the rally. The graffiti with the strange code was hastily painted on one of the shutters, wet paint dripping down the metal. Mei looked over her shoulder as she ran and faltered, stopping in her tracks as people ran past her to escape.
 “Hub..?”
 It was him. The gentle looking omnic from the photograph with Pix Elle, he staggered down the street towards her, swiping and grabbing at anyone that came near, a spatter of crimson blood across his metal face.
 Angela fired and shot a red eyed omnic that had burst from an adjourning street, it crashed to the ground, its eyes slowly burning out. ‘      How many are there!?’    Thought Angela. ‘      Is the whole city affected?’    An omnic pushed past her and she aimed her pistol, it raised its hands and cowered before her, its eyes blue. She lowered her weapon and the omnic continued to run. ‘      Only certain ones    ?’ Close by a shop window smashed and she heard more sirens and shouting back towards the square, the combat medic in her urged her to return and help the wounded but with no valkyrie suit or medical supplies what use could she be? No, get to extraction. Just keep moving. “Mei keep going, I’ll cover you!..Mei?”      She was here, she was next to me!”    . “Mei?!” Angela screamed, desperately trying to see her through the rush of panic and terror.
 Hub shambled slowly towards Mei, his head jerking as Libertes did and he was struggling to stand. Whatever was causing this seemed short lived. The omnic weakly grabbed at anything that got to close as they ran past but his grip was too weak. Mei winced as he stumbled and fell to his knees, a lone drip of oil running from his eye and blending with the blood. Mei crouched down slowly, picking up an empty bottle left in the street and tentatively stepped forward.
 “Hub..?” She said gently and took a step forward. “Hub, my name is Mei..I..I know your wife. Pix Elle?”
 Hub stayed motionless, he remained on his knees and seemed fixated on the slow      drip drip drip    of oil as it fell to the ground. His head jerked at the mention of his wife's name.
 “I don't know what's happening to you Hub.” Mei took another step forward. “But I know it's not your fault.”
     Drip drip drip  
 “Its ok..we can help you.” Another step.
     Drip drip drip  
 “We can find Pix Elle. We can try and stop this..”
     Drip drip drip  
 Mei was close to him, he was ignoring everyone that rushed by now, she was sure he could hear her, understand her. She knelt in front of him.
 “I know you’re in there Hub..I know you don't want to do this. None of you do..im so sorry this has happened..”
 He slowly raised his head, oil now leaking from all eyes. He looked like he was crying. “Pix..Pix..Pix.” His head jerked with each word.
 “We’ll find her ok? Lets find her.” Mei smiled warmly at him and slowly held her hand out. Hub looked at it and his eyes started to flash back to blue. “I..I..”
 “It's ok Hub..” She said softly.
 “I..”
 She could hear the low hum of engines overheard and the crowds were getting thinner, maybe the French authorities were taking control of the situation. Close by a window smashed, Mei flinched at the sound and Hubs eyes flashed to red, He snapped his head at Mei.
 “Hub      no    !” Mei fell backwards as he launched at her, she scrambled back desperately as he clawed at her legs, his metal digits painfully scratching her, Mei kicked him hard in the face, one of his eyes cracking from the force. She struggled back and attempted to stand but Hub snatched her ankle and pulled her down roughly, the side of her head hitting the pavement as she fell. Mei gasped in pain and instantly felt nauseous and her vision blurred, she was barely aware that she was screaming. She thrashed viciously and felt his grip weaken, using the opportunity to pull herself up more before she smashed the bottle down on his head with all her strength, his grip slackened and finally he let go. Whether she killed him or not she did not know, her mind race and before she knew it she was half running half feeling her way away from the Omnic. “Angela!” She tried to scream, her voice feeling hoarse. “      Angela!”  
 But she was too disoriented, she had no idea how far she had run and no idea where she was now. She felt people running by, the ringing in her ears adding to the confusion. Someone tried grabbing her wrist and shouted but without her glasses she couldn't tell if it was someone trying to help or harm her, she wrenched her arm free and ran once again but she was feeling more sick by the second, she stumbled on something and she reached to steady herself, feeling cool brick wall beneath her fingertips. Mei involuntarily leant against it and slid to the ground, catching her breath and fighting the urge to vomit. She was sure she heard her name over the distortion in her head, but the world was too blurry to make sense of, her glasses cracked and useless. The throbbing in her head was intense. She tried to sit up but the pain made her feel more nauseous. Over the ringing noise she heard her name being shouted again but maybe she imagined it. Mei blinked trying to focus, something was in her eye, she blinked again, It was wet and red and hot. Mei gave a startled cry, squeezing her eyes shut and tried once again to move, her body feeling like lead, panic bubbling in her stomach and chest growing tight as her mind began to catch up on what was happening. She needed to find Angela. With effort she braced her arm against the wall and attempted to push herself up, ignoring the urge to throw up and the pain pulsing through her skull. Suddenly hands were on her pushing her firmly back down, Mei yelled in alarm and lashed out, her fist connecting hard with whoever was in front her.
 “Ow! Fucks sake woman, you wanna be left here?”
 Her hair was sticking to the blood on her face as it began to dry. “J-Junkrat?”
 “...Gotta keep still ok Mei, dunno how bad you are. Just focus on yer breathing before shock gets to ya alrite?” He gave her arms a reassuring squeeze.
 Mei gave a small whimper in reply, trying to touch the bleeding wound on her head. Jamison grabbed her hand and held onto it.
 ‘Nope, no ya dont wanna touch that ok. Trust me it's not that bad, just a lil nick.’ He reassured her.
 Tears now joined the blood streaming down her face as her choked on a sob. “I can't..I can't see”
 “Yeaahhhh...ya glasses wanna bit o’ glue i won't lie. But don't worry about that kay? Lets just get you moving.”  He reached up to his communicator. “Yeah hi, whoever's listening I found Frosty- I mean Mei! Mei! I found Mei..yeah she's ok, bit of blood. Maybe concussed to fuck...Uh huh..yeah..yeeaah..ok bored now bye!” He reached into one of the leather wallets on his belt and pulled out some gauze. “Sorry this might hurt.” He said, pressing the gauze against the wound.
 “Ahh!” Mei squealed in pain.
 “Told ya. Keep it pressed on coz we gotta move, Jesus Christ what the fuck happened here?” He crouched next to her, hooking an arm around her as she gingerly placed hers around his shoulders. “Ok on three..three-!” He vaulted her up onto her feet with ease but the sudden movement threatened her stomach and her head felt like it was about to split.
 “Ahhhoowww oww owww! Why did you do that?” Mei whined loudly.
 “Your up aren't ya? I don't fancy hanging around! Fucking hell you are      tiny!”  
 “Can someone else come get me?” Mei whimpered.
 “Ok down you go.” Junkrat replied bluntly as he began to lower her.
 “No no no no!” Mei clung on to him in panic, her nails sharply digging into him.
 “Yeah that's what I thought...”
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intyalote · 4 years ago
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Nirvana in Fire Fic Recs
While I don’t think I could ever make a finite list of my favorite fics, these are the ones that I recommend the most. I’ve included a variety of ships/gen, limited myself to ten fics with no repeating authors, and tried to include fics of different styles, though naturally the list still reflects my own preferences a bit.
In order of increasing word count, because why not:
silk scroll, twelve inches by 孢子梨 (4k, mcs/jingyan), translated by presume/justjoy - Or, the new emperor receives an old friend, and one last letter.
This is honestly one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Both the original and the translation are beautifully written and very atmospheric. The poem interspersed throughout is so emotionally powerful and fitting for Jingyan and Xiao Shu. Perfectly crafted in every way, a masterclass in short-form writing.
Ripples by jusrecht (5k, mcs/lin shu) - Mei Changsu was a pale, delicate-looking scholar with a gentle smile and a smooth, mellow voice, the kind that stirred the worst of Lin Shu’s scorn. (time travel AU)
A wonderful character study of Mei Changsu - selfcest serves to illustrate how he is both the same and different from Lin Shu, and in what ways he has improved (or not). The relationship between these two is wonderful - Changsu’s initial scorn turning to literal yearning for his past, and Lin Shu being enamored by the person his prodigal intelligence cannot outmatch (of course not, it’s himself but more developed).
apples in the trees by lastwingedthing (6k, gong yu/nihuang) - After Mei Changsu's death, Gong Yu stays in the south with General Mu.
Women supporting each other! The scene in the drama where Nihuang is briefly jealous of Gong Yu is one of my least favorite, and I’m very glad we now have this fic to patch over it - MCS is not omniscient, especially when it comes to love.
winter (if you must leave) by winchilsea (6k, mcs/lin chen) - Lin Chen and Mei Changsu talk about love without ever using the word. A series of scenes at Meiling.
So very sad. Includes description of just how much Lin Chen gave up to help Changsu for all those years, the pointlessness of war, love and lack of it. Perfectly encapsulates the awful destructiveness of Lin Chen and MCS’s relationship.
Amidst the Rain by Eswet (10k, pre-mcs/prince yu), translated by HanguangMoon - The advisor, to whom, it could be said, a bleeding heart was handed with a plea for help, could give no assistance.
The prelude to an incredible redemption arc for Jinghuan. Goes with great detail into how much Prince Yu is affected by his Hua heritage being revealed, but instead of rebelling he goes to Sir Su one last time for advice. I’ve always had a soft spot for Prince Yu - he’s such a fascinating villain, power-hungry yet also deeply loyal to those he cares for, and this fic explores both the good and bad sides of him. For those who read Russian I highly recommend the second part of this series as well.
Still Here (With All I Hold Dear) by marvelist/Ardent (11k, past mcs/jingyan) - Jingyan misses Xiao Shu in all the ways that matter but he cannot fall apart. Surprisingly enough, Lin Chen can relate to that.
Jingyan and Lin Chen becoming friends and healing together post-canon is everything I live for. They’re so different from each other - the duty-bound emperor and the carefree young master who roams the jianghu - but they also have so much in common! This one truly shines in characterization (Lin Chen needing Jingyan to prove himself, then immediately conning him into relaxing; Tingsheng being a perfect son; Gao-gonggong subtly caring for Jingyan; and of course Fei Liu, his snacks, and his love for Su-gege).
A Measure of Forgiveness by aboxthecolourofheartache (23k, gen) - Two post-canon fics loosely linked, focused on grief and mourning and catharsis. Largely a character study for Lin Chen, because the author is hopeless.
Catharsis for Lin Chen and Fei Liu. Featuring crying at Consort Jing, Lin Chen reluctantly liking Jingyan, Fei Liu and flower analogies, and general grief and mourning all around. The first fic also has some wonderful moments that confront Changsu’s sacrificial mindset.
The Bodhisattva of Jinling by kimboo_york (33k, mcs/lin chen) - "This is not what he expected out of the wheel of reincarnation, and he’s very miffed at all the very many spiritual texts he has read that suggested something better. Or, at least, different."...or, the one where Mei Changsu ends up in his very own Groundhog's Day Year.
MCS gets broken and then remade. Builds up to the big reveal so, so well. The development of his relationship with Lin Chen is also amazing - it absolutely would take him multiple lifetimes to let go of his focus on the Chiyan case and allow himself to fall in love. For all his brains, MCS is very blind during canon, but this gives him an opportunity to look further.
Borne on the Winds of Heaven by Ione (65k, gen) - The dying King of Southern Chu has one wish, to meet the son he has never seen. He and Princess Nian want Xiao Jingrui to turn his back on dangerous Da Liang, and make his home there. Sore in spirit, Jingrui isn't thinking about the future. All he lives for are his letters from Yan Yujin. Until shocking news arrives, and everything changes . . .
Fix-it with a focus on the younger generation. Jingrui is wonderful as always, and provides some nice commentary to end-of-canon events from someone who isn’t completely enamored of MCS and sees past his masks. The ending is also wonderful and has one of my favorite lines in Jingyan’s narration, and it challenges the military mindset that most of our canon characters have (I mean really, out of the five countries could none of them have been stopped by any method other than KILL THEM ALL TO ASSERT DOMINANCE??).
the mist that cloaks the river, the clouds that hide the stars by Sovin (177k, gen) - Yan Yujin has mostly evaded the worst consequences of the Chiyan case, despite her standing betrothal to Lin Shu. So warned, she precariously balances freedom and evading attention, and stays quite far away from politics for a number of reasons. Politics don't seem quite so keen to stay away from her.
If I had to pick one “must-read” from this list, it would be this one. It’s 177k, literally the longest English NIF fic on ao3, but I’m still not sure how the author managed to fit so much in there. Reading along as Yujin comes into her own while getting to see her refreshing take on events felt like a privilege, and I am so very glad this fic exists. And I haven’t even mentioned its wonderful take on a sort-of-fix-it, Yujin’s mature and deep friendship with Mei Changsu, or how Yujin’s gender changes the relationships she has with her father, her mentors, and Prince Yu in fascinating ways. There are too many fantastic elements to go into here, just read it!
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the-canary · 6 years ago
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Playin’ With Hearts - B.B (3)
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Summary: You didn’t hate that she had something you could only dream of, but there was always a feeling that there was something wrong. (Implied!Reader/Bucky Barnes)
Prompt: “I think I handled that very well.” +  “I’ve never seen that much blood my whole life. If that’s what you mean by very well, I am very concerned.”.
A/N: this is for @wintersoldierswhore writing challenge.
there are also mentions of blood and toxic relationships as we move forward, so proceed with caution.
Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated.
It’s true that Wanda is the first to notice the little changes in your personality, but in your dreams as well. It’s not like she means to intrude. But, even with all the years of training, there isn’t a way that she can control her powers when it comes to your screams. She tries to calm down the dark recesses of your past captivity, though you don’t ever talk about it
However, in a few short months, your dreams went from trying to protect yourself from trying to protect someone else. You whimpered in the other room as you tried to stop Bucky’s heart from being taken from him. You fought with yourself and an unmasked person to stop the incident from happening. You woke up with a jolt and a pitiful whimper following soon afterward.
Wanda didn’t exactly understand what was going on since she knew you avoided James most of the time. But, that’s when the lingering and staying in the corner of the room whenever he near began. It caught Natasha’s attention as well, but they knew to wait – you would around in your own time to explain the change.
It’s three weeks of you following Bucky. He avoids you, even more, when you come into Wanda’s room with a newspaper at hand. Brown eyes look at you with a question.
“Have you seen this?” you asked with a slight tremor in your voice, as you hand her the paper. The headline JARS OF HEARTS in the front and Wanda knows what you are talking about. There really isn't anything the Avengers can do if there are no leads and nobody from the NYPD is calling them in.
“Yes, what about it?” she tries to ask as calmly as possible as she sees you playing with your hands. The smell of distilled air and chlorine are becoming more of an annoyance to you, at least that’s what your little movements meant.
“What if I knew who that person was? What if they were in the Tower?”
———–
Bucky isn’t one for confirmation nowadays. He prefers to take on life the easiest way possible and enjoy what is given to him, but he isn’t a fool either. He knew that there was something wrong with how Lin was acting and how their relationship was going in general. Yet, he didn’t expect what he saw a gloomy day not that from the Tower – Lin kissing another man.
He won’t deny that it hurt like hell. He enjoyed his time with Lin when it was better, it wasn’t exactly love but it could be someday. However, that wasn’t what hurt the most as he noticed someone familiar watching as well.
How long has she known?
It is something that Bucky can’t help but think as he sees the occasion bane of his existence sitting in another open-air restaurant not too far from the scene of the crime. There are a hundred emotions and questions running through his head, though it does somewhat explain why she was paying more attention now.
Did she pity him? Hate him? Maybe, she planned on throwing all this in his face when the moment presented itself. She was going to show him that a person (a murderer and killer like him) had no right at the little happiness he tried to claim in life.
No, he knew that was the fear and self-loathing in him speaking deep down. She wouldn’t do something like that because from what he had seen (as Bucky had been paying more attention to her as well since she started spending more time in the room with the team), there had never been a bad bone in her body – but, she tended to worry and fret a lot over things.  
Bucky can’t help but turn back around and walk back to the Tower, thinking about what he should do now and how long she had been fretting over this.
Lin, I think we need to talk.
———–
It’s supposed to be a quick mission. It was something to get you to better mingle and work with the rest of the Avengers that you don’t interact with. It would be good for team building is what Steve has stated but you’re on pins and needles over much larger things. 
You hadn’t caught the smell of rotting flesh in almost a week. You knew that Lin worked at least three to four days within the lab though. You couldn’t help but wonder if she had gotten her latest victim or if she was preparing something even worse, especially when it came to Bucky. 
You were worrying about Barnes more and more recently. Though you were sure that he could take care of himself. He was a super soldier after all, but that didn’t ease your mind at all though. 
Love makes people do stupid things, was something that your handler had thrown over your head once after one of your first escape attempts. You tried hard not to remember the reason why nowadays. But, the fear is still there (it never left) as you find yourself missing the smell of the sea and clear air that seemed to come with following Bucky around. 
Needless to say, you end up with more than one injury due to not your head completely in the mission. Sam ends up bandaging your hand as you head back. 
“So, what’s on your mind that you left yourself that open?” Sam asks with a smile, though you can tell that he is being serious by the tone of his voice. You don’t know if you should be truthful or if you should stay quiet to hide your embarrassment. 
“Well?” he pushes back, as you can frown just a little. 
“I am wondering how Barnes is doing,” you admit with an embarrassed chuckle, “I’m actually really worried.”
———– 
“Are we even dating?"
It’s the first thing that Bucky says when he finally meets up with Lin in a little cafe shop near the Brooklyn Bridge. Lin is sitting there and the smile that she has been wearing falls in an instant as she leans back into her seat. He can’t help but wonder if she knew what this was about.
“Well, in some ways, yes,” Lin answers back with a shrug like she knows where this is going and has played this scene before, “Is there something wrong ?”
Bucky frowns but seems to not say anything as the smell of burning flesh and roses sets in.
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