#limbo documentaries

[variellie]

birthday art for thenyancatcookie :-)

[19calicos]

i know where to look – kuroo tetsurō ˎˊ˗

✶⋆.˚ chapter sixteen: under familiar lights ( 𖦹 )

currently playing: the two of us by omar apollo

word count: 2.3k

cw: language, usage of "die," vulnerable conversation lol, yn mentions their parents divorcing

kuroo has had too much time to think in the past four days, and it's all he can do to cram his head with documentaries of rainforests and hammerhead sharks and hummingbirds to keep his feelings from festering.

he's refused to let himself fall into a deep spiral of overthinking and second-guessing, of over-analyzing and pondering, but in doing so, he put himself in a limbo. really, all the radio silence has made him start to wonder if they even cared for him at all all, even though he knows with his head and his heart that isn't the case, that every shared moment between them was real.

kuroo doesn't want to think about how four days of silence, of nothing, of being left with his fears of messing everything up has made him feel so terrible, when all the time he's spent in their vicinity has made him feel so warm and whole and like he's himself at his best.

the uncertainty of being kept at a distance made kuroo feel small. it's a foreign, unpleasant feeling, so unlike himself – he's not sure when the last time he's felt this way was. and while the feeling has grown bigger in his chest in the past days, clawing at kuroo from the inside out, it's made him feel smaller, betrayed even. he thought he knew them, at least enough to not be ghosted like this.

so when kuroo got their text two hours ago, the notification reflected in his pupils, he may as well have thrown up. wide eyes become a scrunched nose, furrowed eyebrows, and a hitch in his throat after his third reread of their message asking him to talk.

all he's wanted to do was talk this entire time, but the way he’d been been ignored kept him from reaching out first. the pang of hurt in his chest when they made eye contact with him at the diner and immediately looked away was still fresh and tender, and kuroo was sure that the smallest thing gone wrong would make him feel like he's bleeding out.

he rubs his eyes. he rises from the couch. he rereads the texts between him and them again, then rereads the texts from the groupchat with his friends. he downs the water that bokuto put out for him an hour ago when he dropped everything to be by kuroo's side and dissect their texts with him. he swallows the lump down his throat, he ignores how it's instantly replaced by a knot in his stomach. he takes a big, deep breath, shoulders and all.

kuroo grabs his jacket off the coat rack and his board from the corner of the little foyer.

"you're heading out already?" kenma asks from behind, just around the corner of the little entry way.

bokuto peeks his head out from the opposite side of kenma. "you've got like, an hour before eight, dude."

"i think i wanna clear my head. i'm just gonna skate around somewhere," kuroo replies without turning around.

kenma and bokuto look at each other. kuroo sees their shared look over his shoulder, but he's not quite exactly sure what their faces are saying, or what the two are thinking. honestly, he doesn't know what anyone around him is thinking these days, not even himself – and especially not them.

"mkay, text if you need anything," kenma offers.

kuroo hums in response. he shuts the door behind him.

it's seven and they're already at the math building's parking lot. an hour passed by already, and there's still another hour to go of leg bouncing, sweaty palms, and rehearsing things to say in their head.

it would have been the same if they waited at home for eight o'clock like a normal person instead of showing up two hours early. but something about being in the same room where they laid themselves out to their best friends, brainstorming about how they were going to make their heart transparent for kuroo made them the fidgety type of anxious. the more they thought about it, the more stuffy the living room got, so it was all they could do to tug on a sweater and run outside with nothing but their skateboard and their earbuds.

the crisp sunset air did little to settle the thumps in their chest and the thrumming in their ears, though. the stupid anti-anxiety frequencies they were playing on repeat weren't doing shit, and they're not sure if it's because it's a scam or because they're not open-minded enough to it. they decide the question will remain unanswered when they hit shuffle on some other soothing playlist.

shaky fingers scroll through a lengthy notes app list of bullet points, ridden with typos and full of incoherency. they'd prefer if they could hash out everything with kuroo over text like they did earlier in the day with suna and the rest, but they knew that kuroo deserved better than that. he deserves better than them, really, but they wanted to talk in person about the past four days out loud.

something about kuroo just makes them want to try anything for him. so here they are, trying to string together their thoughts so they could make sense when they apologize and try to explain themselves.

"hey," a familiar voice calls from above them, and the first thing they notice is how quiet it was. the suddenness makes them almost drop their phone – it had been so still before in the empty space of the parking lot, the only ambience coming from passing cars and students some distance away.

their head snaps up to him, gaze flickering to his hand holding his board, to the jacket he's wearing that they know is his favorite, anywhere but his golden eyes. they barely manage to stutter out a "hey" back.

fuck.

they knew it was kuroo the moment they heard his voice, and they realize that even if he is an hour early, no amount of preparation would have made them feel ready at all for this.

"um, i didn't expect you to be here already," kuroo says as he sits on his board next to them.

the space between them is uncomfortable. even if he's only sitting a foot away on their right, he seemed so far away. their flight instinct begs them to turn tail and run, to try again another day. but they know they shouldn't – if there's anything they can learn from their mistake of seeing kuroo and ignoring him right after, it's that they have to stay and see this through.

"i'm sorry," they blurt out, scared that if kuroo speaks first they'll lose any willpower they have to be here. his stare burns into them, they can feel it, but they're not strong enough to look back at him. they keep their gaze on the pavement in front of them.

kuroo is wide-eyed when he looks at them, head snapping their direction in the blink of an eye. "wait –"

"no. no, i'm really sorry. i shouldn't have left you hanging like that for the past while when there were things we needed to talk about."

the space between them is still uncomfortable. they knew that the weight of it wouldn't dissipate with a snap of their fingers, but it's one thing to know it and another thing to experience it. it makes them feel like they've forgotten how to breathe.

"fucking hell," they exhale shakily, nerves crawling all over them. "i'm sorry – i've just, um, i've been like, really vulnerable today and it's a lot." another swallow. "not an excuse, i promise – just telling you that. sorry."

kuroo almost reaches out to them. but he understands the space they need, and that they're chasing their momentum to speak, so he only nods instead. "it's okay. don't worry about that, i get it."

"um, i've been thinking about it, and i think that when my parents got divorced when i was little, it kind of made me believe that love isn't real, and other stuff that happened really solidified that belief – ah, well, at least for me. i think love is very real between my friends and their partners," they continue, talking with their hands, tentative and unsure. "i... don't really trust people to love me and stuff. i don't know how to put it exactly. i just didn't think that this part of me would ever end up hurting someone like this though, especially you."

they pause before going on. they can't stand to see how he might be looking at them, not when this just might be the scariest moment of their life, baring themselves to kuroo. "you're so sweet to me, and i really like you a lot. and it freaked me out because i couldn't believe that, and i kept running away from those feelings and getting in my head and i let it build up too much and i hurt you in the process. and i'm really, really sorry."

kuroo’s head spins from connecting the dots.

“i remember how you kept insisting that i don't love you and everything. the things you said about how you can't love me back right, how i'm too good for you, that you love me too, all of it,” he slowly says in tandem with his real time processing. "when we were drunk, i mean. and none of the bad stuff is true."

they wince with embarrassment and purse their lips at that. "yeah... i just, i've been reflecting a lot and thought i should come clean and tell you these things."

the silence grows heavier, and the sun is almost gone. they wipe their sweaty palms on their jeans again, and when they finally look at kuroo, their heart drops at this foreign look on face. they realize they've never seen him frown like this, and they realize they never want to see him look this way ever again.

"if we're being truthful," kuroo begins. "you did hurt me a lot. and i've been trying not to think about it because it really made me feel like shit, like i didn't know you as well as i thought i did." he toys with his hands, pausing and collecting his thoughts. "and in hindsight, it feels kind of like you've been leading me on. a part of me is convinced that you never cared about us, or me, and that i don't really know you, even though the rest of me knows that's not true."

it's not like they would, but there's no arguing with that. they know that they've noticed the way kuroo looks at them with all the love in the world, and instead of sorting themselves out, they leaned into him – just not fully, always at odds with if they could believe him or not.

"despite all that, i still really like you. and i'm sorry too for all the things i did when we were drunk. i know that i freaked you out," kuroo finishes, voice trailing off.

"no! it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong, that all makes sense," they quickly interject, turning their body and leaning towards him, knees falling towards his. "you're right, really. i mean, i was giving you signs, and because of that i do feel like i've been leading you on, since, y'know, i wasn't fully there. and then i just left you hanging out of nowhere. i'm really sorry about that."

kuroo reaches for their left hand and takes it with his right, interlacing his fingers with theirs. "during all those times, like at community day, the nights when it was just us at the skate park, and when you fell asleep with me and we woke up together, i felt like i was on top of the world since you were with me."

he looks at them right in their eyes, head dropping, cheek resting on his knees that he's pulled into his chest. they think he looks perfect under the dimming golden hour. "honestly, some of the trust is lost on my end too. it hurt a lot that you just ghosted me like that. and i just want you to believe me when i say that i love you."

kuroo averts his gaze. "and, well... i've actually been planning on properly confessing to you since that party. but i think i'll save it for later, if you still, well, like me, and maybe still want to give us a try."

their breath stills at that. kuroo has shifted something inside them, replaced hope where doubt used to be.

“so you love me,” they murmur.

“i might have been drunk, but i meant it.”

“for the record, i meant it too.”

it's the way that he still believes in them despite how they flipped his heart upside down. they don't have it all figured out yet, nor do they have the words, but they think they believe this, believe him.

"fuck. we’re not even official or anything, and now we’ve just said i love you, sober," they say with a laugh, eyes fluttering closed. they put their free hand over their furiously beating chest, and the thumping proof that their heart exists gives them courage, no matter how fleeting it might be. it's real in this moment, and they believe the rush they're feeling. "tetsurō, can we take it slow? i want to tell you everything, i want to know all of you past your favorite things, and i want you to trust me again. i want to show you that i do care about you, and that you do mean a lot to me."

"yeah?" kuroo asks softly, eyes stuck to the way their fingers have stayed laced with his this entire time.

oh, wait. they just called him tetsurō. he stops with a sharp inhale, reeling not just from the honesty of the conversation but also the leap forward they just took by calling him tetsurō. his head just might burst like a balloon with too much air.

they open their eyes again, smiling toothily, letting their gaze linger on kuroo. "yeah, i mean, it's no secret that i just really like you a lot."

it's something about the way that they've spoken, carefully choosing their words, crafting sentences as best as they could, how they're trying their best for him that makes kuroo's heart flicker for them again. his smile grows to match theirs.

"yeah, let's take it slow," he says when turning to them, heart spilling right out of him, swelling with relief as he takes the hand on their chest in his. "let's go with whatever happens from now on, then.” kuroo matches their lighthearted laugh, and they think he sounds like wind chimes on a sunny, perfect day.

“and call me tetsu in the meantime,” he murmurs. “when you're ready, i'll tell you that i love you as many times as you need to believe me."

without thinking, they let go of one of kuroo’s hands to hold his cheek instead. his hand, big and warm and just right, rests on top of that hand as he leans into their touch. "okay, tetsu, deal. and when you're ready, i'll remind you everyday that i love you more."

the sun is set, and under the familiar lights from the math building and the street lamps and the deep blue sky, they start to believe that love for them is real in the form of kuroo.

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more:

⟢ we have a few more fluffy chapters left yippee ! honestly i just want to indulge myself and write some more cute little things for kurooyn

⟢ bo was the one who made the crossover group chat with suna's support

⟢ noya ran away earlier bc yn's head snapped in his direction. they didn't actually see him in the bushes but his fight or flight instinct kicked in so he ran LOL

⟢ ummmm not a lot of fun facts here just that endgame is very near. kurooyn isn't official yet but they'll get there soon !!!!

⟢ i hope u guys can see my trains of thought lololol

⟢ the debriefs after were crazy but both kuroo and yn just went straight to their rooms to sleep once they each got home, so debriefs came the morning after

⟢ yn has now learned that vulnerability isn't the scariest thing ever !!!!!!

taglist (50/50): @eggyrocks @whorefornoodles @sereniteav @bedeater @itsdragonius @spicana @localgaytrainwreck @sunafc @scinclaitnoir @staygoldsquatchling02 @rrosiitas @yuminako @zahrawr-likes-red @walllflowerrrsss @unwindwithme @mfcherry @giocriedpower @ahdbodhr @iiwaijime @loveelylacey @chososcamgirl @iheartpinky @piapiaweee3 @azuremyst99 @csbnova @tired-jaz @samuel1004 @kennedy-brooke @wyrcan @arustydoll @illuzminate @juie13 @01trickster10 @thatonecroc @theycallmenanamisgirl @nobodybutnnoorr @gsyche @walkingcorpse03 @miliondollagirl @keelsforreals @just-coreee @sp1ng @lovingjeankirsten @kuytie @puppenpop @softpia @mawenskiblue @zombriesworld @anqelkoz @zumicho

[brokehorrorfan]

Crimson Peak will be released on 4K Ultra HD on May 21 via Arrow Video. Guy Davis, the film’s concept artist, designed the packaging for the 2015 Gothic horror/romance.

Master of horror Guillermo del Toro directs from a script he co-wrote with frequent collaborator Matthew Robbins (Mimic, Pinocchio). Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Hunnam, and Jim Beaver star.

The limited edition set comes with a double-sided fold-out poster, four double-sided postcards, and an 80-page book featuring writings by David Jenkins and Simon Abrams, an interview with Guillermo del Toro, and conceptual illustrations by Guy Davis and Oscar Chichoni, all housed in a slipcase.

Crimson Peak is presented in 4K with Dolby Vision, approved by del Toro, and original DTS:X Master Audio sound. Special features are listed below, where you can also see the full packaging.

Special features:

Audio commentary by director/co-writer Guillermo Del Toro

The House is Alive: Constructing Crimson Peak - Feature-length documentary with cast and crew interviews and behind the scenes footage

Spanish-language interview with Guillermo Del Toro

The Gothic Corridor; The Scullery; The Red Clay Mines; The Limbo Fog Set - Four featurettes on Allerdale Hall

A Primer on Gothic Romance featurette

The Light and Dark of Crimson Peak featurette

Hand Tailored Gothic featurette

A Living Thing featurette

Crimson Phantoms featurette

Beware of Crimson Peak - Walking tour of Allerdale Hall with Tom Hiddleston

Interview with film historian Kim Newman

Violence and Beauty in Guillermo Del Toro’s Gothic Fairy Tale Films - Video essay by the film historian Kat Ellinger

Deleted scenes

Original trailers and TV spots

Also included:

Double-sided foldout poster

Four double-sided postcards

80-page, hard-bound book with writing by David Jenkins and Simon Abrams, an interview with Guillermo del Toro, and conceptual illustrations by artists Guy Davis and Oscar Chichoni

Beginning in Buffalo, New York, during the 1880s, Crimson Peak follows Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska), an aspiring writer who is haunted by the death of her mother. Edith’s falls in love with seductive stranger Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston), who whisks her off to Allerdale Hall, his baronial, yet dilapidated English mansion built upon a mountain of blood-red clay. Here Edith meets Lucille (Jessica Chastain), Thomas’s sister who at times seems hostile and jealous. As Edith struggles to feel at home in the imposing residence, she gradually uncovers a horrendous family secret and encounters supernatural forces that will help her discover the terrible truth behind Crimson Peak.

Pre-order Crimson Peak.

[ape-apocalypse]

Disney had their big Entertainment Showcase panel at the D23 Expo last night. There were announcements of posters, trailers, release dates, titles, casts and more. Announcements included animated movies, live actions films, Pixar, Avatar, Marvel, Star Wars, Percy Jackson, Disney+ shows, documentaries, and even Broadway shows… but nothing for Planet of the Apes.

Maybe it’s still too soon to announce a sequel because they’re still working out details but just a brief confirmation that they’re going to greenlight the trilogy that the cast and crew have hinted at would be nice. Being in this limbo is torture!

[shares-a-vest]

Prompt: Mean Girls (Discord Drabble) "i'm on a bit of a writing hiatus" i say as i write something that is definitely not a drabble and want to write more of...

"What in the hell are you two doing?"

Steve and Robin turn in unison to find Erica standing on the other side of the front counter, one hand hovering over the bell, the other holding My Little Pony... Something.

And Robin is smart enough not to attempt to guess which outing in Equestria the younger Sinclair sibling is going to gallivant into this weekend.

"People watching," Robin shrugs.

"But..." Erica begins, giving Family Video a sweeping glance, "The store is full."

Robin tents her fingers, "The store might seem busy, my young friend. But we have entered, Limbo."

She wiggles her fingers in Erica's direction, but the kid swats her away.

"Meaning?" Erica asks.

"The store is filled with people who just got off work on a Friday Night," Robin explains, propping herself up on the counter with her elbows, "Lonely souls. Boys and girls getting ready to impress on Movie Date Night. Sleepovers. R&R time... Sensual adult – "

"Please do not finish that sentence," Erica interrupts, recoiling.

"Boom!" Steve beams, clicking his fingers before jotting a point on their inventory list-turned-scoresheet, "Penny from the Pharmacy just picked up a copy of Friday the 13th."

"Wait!" Robin yelps, rushing to her best friend and crowding him against the computer, "How could you have possibly guessed that?"

"Because she's dating that dickhead from the dry cleaners," Steve states as if it's totally obvious, "And he only rents horror shit. Plus, Friday is..."

He raises a brow expectantly, leaning into her side.

Robin sighs.

"Friday is Date Night."

"And yet, you lose," Steve teases and honestly, Robin wants to donk him on the noggin with their stupid clipboard.

Smug bastard.

"Can I be served!"

Robin snatches back the scoresheet, certain that Steve must be cheating. He cannot possibly have a perfect score!

She turns back to their demanding customer and finds Erica craning her neck to get a look at the clipboard.

"If you won't let me join in, that is," she adds with a challenging pout.

"Sure," Steve says, breathing down Robin's neck now, a grin evident in his voice, "Can't be any worse than Rob, here."

Robin swiftly elbows him in the stomach on her way to pick up the scanning gun.

She waves it around for a moment, carefully searching for the perfect candidate and soon settles for Scott Clarke.

"Mr Clarke..." she declares, slowly raising the scanner with an Ellen Ripley level of accuracy.

"Easy," Erica shrugs, "Mr Clarke is a boring nerd. I bet he watches documentaries in his spare time, on a Friday night, like a boring nerd."

They watch as Mr Clarke does, indeed, meander to the store's (very small) Documentary Feature section.

"Wait!" Steve panics, yanking back the clipboard, "I didn't have that."

"Oof..." Robin hums, pointing the scanner at her best friend and making a kapow noise.

[cardiovascularswag]

wwdits Finale

I feel this to be quite the tragic ending,at least for guillermo,at least ,in a way. Even though these 6 seasons we have seen plenty of growth from the cast,we are shown this isnt the first,nor possibly the last documentary done about them.We see that 50-60 years ago they were the same as now (maybe had similar character arcs that as decades pass just...watered down.to them,decades are minutes,as shown in earlier seasons). Guillermo is human and fleeting.As Nadja points out,he freaks the fuck out as the documentary ends,because he feels nothing has changed.He tries to coax the vampires to point out how they have changed these past 6 years of filming.They all show that they are the same.He,as human,can see it and cares about it.His life is short and he needs change to feel accomplished.The rest dont care,as they are trapped inside an endless limbo. Even in the final scenes,he keeps wanting to hear something new from Nandor (the whole light smell talk) but is dissapointed We seem him weep alone,on top of the crews baggage,as the vampires just sing together.He cant join them,since he too will once leave. The ending he gives "for the documentary to look good" would have been ideal for him.He finally leaves and goes on to live a new life,away from the endless cycle.But,in reality,he just decides to stay with Nandor,and he is literally shallowed by the house,sitting in the coffin.

[toraleistripe]

I was really hoping that Nobody (or Limbo, as he's also called) would at least get a mention in the new Jim Henson documentary and wouldn't you know it, he's literally the first thing you see fgjkdjsdj

[twopoppies]

Truly I am not convinced that he does want people to see this. I hate being in this limbo of what I see never matching what it feel like is going on. Like, honestly, this documentary feels like part something Louis wants to do, to share with fans, but also, if it’s compiled bits of things we’ve all seen over the years and has just the Sony narrative and rehash of what we’ve already seen in his solo promo, that makes it feel like a piece of the LouisTM game where all accountability for everything gross is foisted onto him. Like a giant BS tweet with enough feel good louis sincerity to choke it down. Because it does feel like the biggest winner to Louis having to document his stunts and claim them verbally and visually AND piss off his fans, is Sony. Louis literally never wins. Who’d want to promote shit that damages themselves. And Sony only cares that the blame falls on Louis so…. I don’t know. But as always, his shit is shady and the opposite of good career moves.

I know. The fact that he’s done nothing to promote it really is the main thing that’s making me question everything about it. I find it all so confusing. Nothing makes sense. And, I’m sorry, but “Freddie is really his son” doesn’t make anything make sense, either.

[destinydating]

Any headcanons for Xivu Arath dating a human or guardian? I feel there’s so much potential for some lovely enemies to lovers stuff! Btw I just found your blog and I already love it 💖

I decided to do both because I was planning on making hers next anyway haha and thank you for the kind words!

Tw: Due to the nature of Xivu Arath there are mentions of war, death, blood shed, religious influences.

Also does contain spoilers for the current season.

Xivu Arath dating a

Human

She knows of your planets history, of her endless wars. Countless tithes left to the open. It intrigues her. Mortals that have endless battle and yet offer the sacrifices to nothing! That is, until she went further into your species past. Oh what lovely trinkets of gold and blood offered to Sol. What beautiful incantations sang for the Devil. Even bloodshed for other figures. It fascinates her.

She gives you armor but it's too heavy for you. Her armor smith's have to come up with armor that protects you but also allows you to move easily. You have over a dozen different prototypes. And yes, Xivu watches you change in and out of them.

Now that she is mortal, she is forced to learn how to battle with fearm this is something... Unusual for herm she has not known fear for billions of years.

The two of your practice human combat that range from hand to hand, various sword techniques, and even mental warfare. Savathûn is cackling at the last part when she hears of this.

Xivu shows you Hive war tactics she used on other planets. You tell her of war history that she may not have heard about.

It's hard to get her to do something else but you slowly ease her into some different interests. Your first attempt was gardening. She enjoyed it for a bit, but then it didn't provide enough mental stimulus for her. Cooking was a big no. Watching films made her mad as she felt she was wasting time sitting here when the two of you could have been honing your skills so you just slapped on a few war documentaries and she just watched, listened, and critized any failures of the battle.

Guardian

You are a product of death and war! Your fist was drawn before your first breath! You wage war with no hesitation! She likes you.

Oh the endless deaths the two of you can give to one another! Endless glory, endless battle! Until that is, your Ghost threatens to stop rezzing you after a few days without food or rest. You and Xivu protest but you get put into the time out no-rezz zone for a few days as punishment. While you're in limbo, Xivu still practices without you. She wants to best you the next time you rise.

You show her different types of weapons you've crafted over the years and she in turn shows you her own crafted weapons. It's like the holidays for the two of you but filled with new weapons.

She makes you an armor that resembles one of her own generals. Yours has different markings unique to anyone else's. The two of you designed it together and when on the battlefield, she has a cloak that holds the same symbol.

You use your healing abilities on fresh wounds. Old ones you leave alone. She loves her scars, she exclaims. You kiss them. She stares at you and asks you not to heal any potential new scars anymore and prefers that method of 'healing' her scars instead.

[ericstoltz]

life update

hi!!! this is me presenting a proof of life post (after being away for a few months) 🥺

the first half of the year has been very very challenging for me, and it's mainly why i ended up not posting something after april this year

april - may

i had some personal things come up in late march and majority of its aftermath was severely felt in april -- that's probably the only thing i remember from that month. may was a pretty weird time since i though everything would be okay by then, but it turns out it was the mark of a 'point of no return' for me. i had my 24th birthday and it's probably the worst i've ever experienced, but i don't think i'll ever let allow myself to forget what happened since it's another mark of growing up for me.

some personal stuff aside, i've managed to watch some movies during those months (and it's mostly to distract myself from the bad vibes i've been experiencing). for april, my white boy of the month was roger daltrey -- i adore him a lot. i can't remember how i ended up listening to the who during that time, but i really loved their 'sell out' album (listening to it for the fist time was an Experience) and i ended up watching their concerts during most nights. my favorite first watches in april were: Class Rank (2017), Snack Shack (2024), Tommy (1975), Lisztomania (1975), and McVicar (1980).

for may, i only ended up watching 6 movies with leo dicaprio as my semi-white boy of the month -- i started watching some of his movies in late may because we've had rainy weeks and i thought his movies were fit for a rainy day. my favorite first watch was: Catch Me If You Can (2002). i also saw the basketball diaries (1995) that month and although it's a 2.5 star review for me, i thought the movie was pretty fitting to watch that month considering what has happened.

june

it felt like i was on a limbo last june, but i did manage to finish a journal. i started writing things down on a spare notebook in late april and i finished it all up in june, it was therapeutic and it made me motivated to keep a journal not for my future self, but to help my present self. i guess that may be the reason why i haven't been writing life updates here, i wanted to try writing things down for myself first to process everything and then filter out what i really feel about things (?), also scrapbooking when you have mementos is really fun. i also met up with some college friends that month and it was really REALLY fun -- i haven't been in touch with so many friends since i graduated so seeing them again gave me a major serotonin boost. i also finished a 500-piece puzzle that month which was this one:

i got 2 puzzle pieces on sale during father's day and i had some time off work so i was really happy i got to finish it (it's the first ever puzzle piece that i've ever finished). the other set was this one which i haven't started yet:

another major thing that's happened in june was the fact that i sadly have to give up my phone since someone lost theirs, so i opted to use my old phone, which, fun fact: i got for my 18th birthday. it's still pretty strong (except for the weak chipset for current apps), but it's still really usable (to my surprise). it made me remember how much i've been through with that phone and i think i won't give it up yet because of its sentimental value and the day it retires will probably be really sad for me. i'm now a fan of using devices until it dies down instead of constantly upgrading, i think it's really fascinating to see how long they'll wear out (which is a weird thing to say coming from someone w a job like mine ??).

anyway, i saw some matthew mccounaghey movies that month and i still can't spell his last name properly. my favorite first watches were: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003), I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007), and St. Elmo's Fire (1985)

july

after watching st. elmo's fire in late june, i found out that andrew mccarthy made the Brats documentary and it was funny for me because i read his memoir last year. but the documentary still manage to make me miss him so i ended up reading his book 'Just Fly Away', it wasn't that great but, hey, it's andrew mccarthy. this july, i also tried to read more books for some reason and i ended up buying my workmate's old tablet -- it still works fine and i'm currently using it as an e-reader. i'm still deciding whether to buy a kindle or not because it's really tempting to get one and because i also wanted to try the display they always brag about... here's my july reading wrap-up!

i haven't seen that much movies this month and it would probably stay that way since i want to read more :) this may be the comeback of bookworm bea

if you've read up until here thanks so so much and pls know that ily. one thing i learned from this experience of being offline is how much i miss being part of little communities where ppl get to share stuff they like :( i haven't been part of something for so long and i really want to try joining again, but don't really know where to start... i know the easiest may be here on tumblr but i find it really hard to join and gain mutuals here :( the easiest may be on twitter/x but i think everything is so noisy over there nowadays (not just because there's so much people but because of the messy feed and constant adds), i've been thinking of joining bookstagram, but i'm not very ~aesthetic~ enough and i feel like everything is mostly likes and followers over there :/

if you can suggest me something please please do let me know! i really want to make friends w ppl love movies, reading, and exercising! (those are the things that i do in my free time often!!)

thanks so much again for reading and i hope you have a rad day !!!!!

[cruelfeline]

Playing through the last portion of ITWT and hearing Cuff balk at Frey consent to Cinta killing Thalia is so weird because like... why?

Why is he even bothering?

Like. He knows that the past can't be changed. Literally mocks Frey about it. Whether Thalia lived or died is already decided; Frey can't change it no matter what she chooses. The whole thing is moot.

So what does he gain by whinging? If Thalia lives, then there is nothing for him to whinge about. And if Thalia dies, then he can't change that.

One can argue, I suppose, that he secretly knows that the ritual is meant to revive him, and he's manipulating Frey into keeping Thalia alive long enough to let the ritual take place, but that's nonsense because, again, it's part of history: he was revived, so the ritual succeeded, and nothing can change that. So any potential Frey-manipulation is just unnecessary. Even if Frey were to realize what was happening, she can't make it not happen; it's already done, and the entire DLC is essentially the Rheddig Tanta shoving the two of them into an interactive documentary to teach Frey recent historic events.

That leaves the reasoning that Cuff's constant whinging is legitimately a result of him being truly afraid of somehow being left behind in some sort of vision-limbo. Which is still kind of dodgy because, again: it's done. He can't change it any more than Frey can. What happens, happens, and there's no altering it.

...so that means that his fear has to be great enough for him to just... blatantly ignore that very obvious logic.

Which. Makes me very sad for him, actually.

[variellie]

samuel doodle testin a new brush

[risingsunresistance]

feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao

i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]

[markiafc]

2. what movie do you wish you could unwatch? / 19. name a movie so bad it’s good / 26. which movie made you think the most about life? -> GO! :3

2. what movie do you wish you could unwatch?

sometimes i do wish i could unwatch every marvel film and become one of those rare folks who've nothing to do with it at all. never got into it, never tried it out of curiosity. i would love to be a special sort of unicorn, living in limbo @ whether the undying marvel franchise is worth it or not. the privilege of being outside of it + the prestige of being that way since the start.

but in particular i'm picking avengers: endgame 2019 to unwatch. i watched it in cinemas and hated it immensely. markedly more than any other marvel movie i've seen.

19. name a movie so bad it’s good

this is a tough one because the "so bad it's good" or "i didn't say it's good, i said i liked it" concept has never really applied to me. i think everything i like is good, there must be some merits and successes that led me to enjoy it. even cheap productions or contrived acting strikes me more as charming and a legitimate quality about a film.

i suppose the swimmer 1968..... the strange, surreal sequences and scenes where ned merrill sexually harasses the women around him are quite. well. underwhelming and repulsive to some. though not to me! i love its weirdness and its flaws.

26. which movie made you think the most about life?

moving house 2001 or baby queen 2022. both of which are short film documentaries about singapore so it seems only natural. i love non-fiction very much (sometimes i think i love non-fiction / documovies more than fictional ones) + the exploration of local issues always hit so hard in a way foreign films and hollywood could not. they definitely make me think about my own life a lot.

baby queen 2022 is dear to me also but moving house 2001 is...... a singular film to me. because it depicts an experience that my family and i have undergone too, in a very literal sense - the state-mandated relocation of deceased relatives from the cemetery to columbarium. everything that happens in that movie happened to me.

if anything makes me think about life, it's local non-fiction material for sure.

[chrisbuckleydiaz]

Limbo multichapter Buddie Canon divergence AO3

He can’t.

He can’t.

He can’t.

He. Can. Not. Do. This.

Keep on doing this.

Eddie is asleep next to him, breathing evenly. His breath soothes him. Used to soothe him.

But all Buck can focus on is the throbbing in his leg. He tries to breathe through it. That’s what they told him to do. He fails. When he feels tears forming in his eyes he squeezes them shut and gets up.

He doesn’t turn on the overhead light in the living room, only the floor lamp next to the couch, before he limbs to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Once he is standing in front of the sink, his mind wanders to the pain killers in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

His doctor prescribed him a stronger pain med but it mostly makes him dizzy.

It’s not like it’s bad. It’s persistent.

So instead he heats up a heating pad in the microwave, takes a muscle relaxant and readies himself for a night in front of the tv. There’s this nature documentary about animal children and he tries to focus on the bear cubs instead of anything else. His eyes start drooping when he hears the sound of bare feet on the wooden floor.

“Baby.”

There’s so much in one single word it almost cracks his chest open. Eddie’s hair is messy, in a beautiful, sleepy way but –

“You should be sleeping. Go back to bed. I’m fine.” His voice is about to betray him.

Eddie doesn’t answer, instead he lifts up Buck’s legs and sits down, instantly starting to massage his calve.

“Did you take anything?”

“Eddie.”

It’s almost pleading.

“Evan.” [Evan Buckley’s leg has been crushed by a fire truck. Even after several surgeries, the pain never fully went away, no matter how much he focusses on his recovery. He’s stuck in limbo – but at least he’s not alone, his family is right there with him. Canon divergence after 2x18, Eddie and Buck are established and living together and Eddie’s PTSD arc already happened.]

Read on ao3

[thisonesatellite]

@wistfulcynic tag-summons me and of course i answer. Not least because she has written some of my favorite stories of all time. 😘

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. <3

OK -- rubs hands. Here we go.

First fic: The road, taken (OUAT /CS)

Look. i was never going to write. i was never even going to get an AO3 account. But then i did (honestly, i'm not even sure why i decided to apply), and then i had this random thought which would not leave, and after three days of constantly imagining Emma and Killian meeting in a bar fight, well--- i wrote it.

Mostly to get it out of my head.

This fic shows very clearly that i was not yet a writer, but i think it also shows the things i would eventually gravitate towards (plot and realistic dialogue underpinned with Feelings), as well as my absolute and unwavering commitment to HEAs, you feel me.

And four short years later here we are, with four fandoms and 37 fics. What have i done.

.

Last fic: despite all my rage (stucky)

My latest OTP Bucky/Steve hath taken me over and this fic is the perfect illustration of the dangers of telling anyone about anything at all, because i mentioned working on an MMA documentary to @angelicalslayer and she said, "ooooh, stucky cage fight fic!", and then THIS HAPPENED.

i am not sorry.

.

Only once: Actually, i have two fandoms i dipped into only once.

we build our lives out of chaos and hope (dramione) a sort of homecoming (Leverage)

The dramione fic is an EWE exploration of Draco's and Hermione's lives, both of which get stuck after the war ends and remain in limbo for a decade until they are thrown together by chance. After which they are forced to work out their issues and also face a new threat.

Dramione had the great misfortune that i slid into stucky immediately after i discovered it and got stuck there (hehe). i have been trying to claw my way back to dramione ever since -- i have a really epic fic idea already in mind which i would LOVE to write. Unfortunately i am horribly linear and cannot do more than one fic at a time, and people keep bullying me lovingly into stucky events, so i won't get around to it until next year. But i will write it. i loved writing chaos and hope.

The Leverage outing? i don't know what happened. Stress, too much work, real life drama, and stucky cage fight plot boas came together and needed an outlet, and suddenly i had a Leverage fic.

i am once again not sorry.

.

Fave fic in most works: we kill the flame (OUAT /CS)

CS is my most prolific OTP so far - although i no longer write it - and this fic i think was by far my best outing. i built an entire world for it, during which i realized i love world building even though it's a ridiculous amount of work that takes a ridiculous amount of time. And this particular sandbox i built is my best one.

Cyberpunk dystopia, plot, action, Feelings, more plot, more action, and then a HEA -- i put all my favorite things into this one, and even viewed from a distance of nearly three years, i still love it.

.

Fic i wish more people had read: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico (stucky)

i realize that Western AUs are not everyone's cup of tea, so i get why this one is bringing up the rear, it's just that i put so much work into the historical accuracy and transposing the canon into post-Civil War America that i kind of wish more people had given it a try. But i do get that this is a matter of taste.

i'm not angry or disappointed or anything, i loved writing it, and i worked with incredible people ( @angelicalslayer again, she is just that fabulous), as well as participated in my first bang ever, so it was totally worth it. Besides giving me a whole new appreciation for people who write historical fiction, bc omg the work.

.

Fic i agonized over the most: if you live by the word, you die by the pen (OUAT /CS)

The plot. OMFG the plot. The plot got so loose.

Look. i love wrangling my plot boas, OK? i complain about them a lot, because they always try to strangle me, but all in all i love it.

But. This fic. First of all, i tried a whole new style (noir -- basically stumbling around in the footsteps of Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy) AND murder mystery AND magic AND linguistics AND battles AND upwards of eight main protagonists (how very LA Confidential of me) and anyway, i nearly didn't survive it.

The only reason i did survive is @wistfulcynic (because she always is) and she is also the only reason that the result is in any way worth reading (BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS IS). In this case she worked harder than ever, but also i tempted her with a linguistics component, because that is how you get the linguists to help you.

.

Fic that sprang fully formed: a handful of dust (stucky)

i had already left CS and found dramione and was nearly done with writing chaos and hope when i re-binged CATFA and CATWS for the n-th time and finally decided to check out the stucky ficdom. And promptly got sucked into the best vortex ever.

And then this fic just sprang up in my head. No warning. i looked up and there both bois were, looking at me in challenge, going, 'are you going to write us a different post-Potomac ending or what', and really--- what was i supposed to do but nod and write it?

So i did.

And i've been HEA-ing them ever since. (Usually after sending them through various types of AU hell, but as long as they end up happy together, who's counting?)

.

Fic i'm proud of: all

Look. i'll be honest. i'm proud of all of them, ngl. My writing is not as easily accessible as many others' -- both in style and in subject matter -- but i absolutely love the process of writing and i am proud of every fic i managed to finish and put out there.

.

Absolutely no pressure tags: @ohmightydevviepuu, @bittersweet-in-boston, @cable-knit-sweater, @mxaether, @greekgeek24 , @angelicalslayer 💖