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lazycats-stuff · 2 years ago

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I have a stpry idea for you.

The Corinthian x male reader.

Yn had a really bad day, like really really bad, so when he got home he gave Corinthian the silent treatment. The Corinthian has tk use his southern charmᵗᵐ to get Yn to talk.

You got it Anon!

Summary: (Y/N) is having a bad day at work, so much that he ignores everything and everyone. Corinthian included. Corinthian is not having it and decides to use his southern charm to get him to talk.

Warnings: None.

(Y/N) sighed, for the nth time this day. There was so much work for one person. He truly needs a raise or a new job. If he gets a new stack of papers, he is going to set this place on fire. He can't do any paperwork anymore. He truly cant. And it seems that he needs to stay late. For the 3rd time this week. Overtime that is not paid.

Welcome to Hell.

He sighed for the nth time today, refusing to look at the big stack. He looked up and froze once he saw an intern with a huge stack of papers, heading towards his desk. He looked up to the ceiling, praying to whatever deity is willing to listen that he doesn't stop by his desk.

And of course, the intern stops by his desk.

" I'm sorry mister (L/N). "

" I don't blame you, I blame our boss. " (Y/N) said, standing up.

He went to the break room, leaving the intern behind. The poor kid is not blame here and he didn't want to snap at him. He couldn't do that to the kid who simply wanted to earn some money and get some experience.

He opened the door to the break room, but jumped back once he felt bumping into somebody. With a hot cup of coffee in their hands. He hissed in pain as he felt the hot coffee on his skin, even through the fabric of his shirt. He quickly moved the damp patch away from his stomach, trying not to get a 1st degree burn.

" Shit! " (Y/N) cursed at the coworker.

The coworker started apologizing and (Y/N) simply accepted, moving into the break room, quickly taking napkins and wiping the coffee of off his skin. Why is this happening to him?

He quickly washed it off and looked at his shirt. The big brown smudge bothered him. He frowned at the smudge. He was going to burn this place down one day.

" Shit... " He said to himself.

Once he was done with the half the stack of papers, he was packing up to go home. He stayed an hour late and he was exhausted. For the 3rd time this week. He has just hoped to leave because he didn't want to see the boss, he didn't want to get any more work at this point.

" (Y/N), just the man I was looking for. " He said, walking up to (Y/N).

(Y/N) didn't say anything, he simply nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't want to say anything rash and he definitely didn't want to snap at the man. He does sign his paychecks after all.

" I need you to stay behind tomorrow as well. "

" Well sir, if those hours are not going to be compensated, I'm not going to stay behind. I am exhausted and I don't feel well. "

His boss seemed shocked to hear him say that. It seems that he didn't hear anybody say that to him.

" We are already short staffed as it is (Y/N)! You can't bail out on us! "

" Well, that is not my fault, that is your fault. And my health is more important then to pay for your mistakes. Now, if you are going to excuse me, I am leaving. Good night. "

(Y/N) quickly left, not wanting to continue this conversation with his boss. He simply wants to crash right now. He frowned once he exited the building, but couldn't find his car keys, but then remembered. The car was at the mechanic's. Shit. This is going to be a long walk back home.

He sighed and got started. He looked up to the dark sky. It was far too dark for his liking. He could only hope that the rain doesn't fall right now. The first drop made him lose hope.

Corinthian glanced at the clock, then glancing outside at the rain falling down.

He hoped that (Y/N) is somewhere nearby, knowing that he was at work. He didn't like it. His lover was exhausted and simply moving on autopilot, barely able to function.

He remembers how he had to feed (Y/N) once. He chuckled at the memory and put the book away. Maybe he should go see where his boyfriend, just to make sure...

He didn't have to, since (Y/N) walked through the door.

" Hey darling'. How was work? " He asked from the couch, glancing at the remote, before turning to look at his boyfriend.

He didn't get anything in return. Okay. Maybe he simply didn't hear him. Or maybe he is mad about something. Because (Y/N) usually greets him with a kiss and a hug. No ifs or anything like that, Corinthian always get his hugs and kisses.

He frowned once he hear a sniffle in the bathroom and then the shower. Okay, something has happened to (Y/N). He needs to break him out of the trance and make him talk.

After the shower, (Y/N) moved to the bedroom, sniffling on the bed, seemingly forgetting that the Corinthian was in his apartment, worried about his lover.

He needs to get him to talk. So, he is using one of the things that he knows will make him talk.

His southern charm. The one he uses to seduce and make (Y/N)'s knees wobbly.

" Why darling, what's got you so worked up? Hmmm? " Corinthian asked, sitting down next to (Y/N)'s lying form. (Y/N) curled into himself more, trying to make himself smaller.

" Did something happen at work? Did somebody tried to do something to you? Do I need to kill somebody honey bun? "

Corinthian smiled when he heard a watery laugh from (Y/N).

" What happened hun? If you need me to kill somebody, I will. "

(Y/N) moved to lay his head down on Corinthian's lap. Corinthian got the hint and started scratching (Y/N) as if he is a cat. Behind the ears, or caressing his head.

" Now, what happened? "

" I had so much work today, then I got coffee spilt on me and my boss wanted me to stay behind tomorrow... And I told him no, then I got soaked by the rain... And... I'm sorry for ignoring you. "

" Don't be hun, it's normal for wanting to shut off. But just know, if you need a talk, I am right here. "

He moved his hands down to caress (Y/N)'s face.

" I know... I know. "

#the corinthian x male reader #the sandman netflix #the corinthian #dc x male reader #dc comics

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carrickbender · 1 year ago

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Sonntag seiben

1. September in the PNW means harvesting and putting in things for the winter that give hope that, at some point, we will see the sun again and taste the sweet goodness of the gifts of nature. This year is special because another generation of our family gets to decide their fate as either pickers or non-pickers. I've always been a picker since I was probably a bit older than Henry; My grandmere and I would dutifully pick the tiny delicious huckleberries right on the border of Idaho and Montana, and one of our favourite patches was yards away from where one of her relatives surveyed in the state lines of Montana(plot twist: it's backwards). My mom, on the other hand, was born a non-picker who often loved finding a nice shady spot with a book. Thankfully, as she and I were both raised as only children, she has become a picker because berries won't pick themselves and blackberries are awful to pick. And Buggy was such a trooper: he started off picking berries but then he just wanted to eat berries even double fisting them. Tradition can be so delicious.

2. I finished my 2 weeks at Medline on Saturday, and they were absolutely good people for whom to work. And on Tuesday, I start with a municipal organization in emergency mitigation services, which should be a good job. Its a serious pay cut from Cosmo, but I cant wait any longer. And with graduation looming for me at CWU and my MBA application submitted, my options are expanding by the day. I refuse to be blind to the silver lining to my loss of my job at Cosmo, and I am open to the lessons that the universe is teaching me.

3. So for a long time I couldn't wrap my head around affirmations, but now that I'm doing them, I feel different. I think maybe, just maybe, the reset has begun and I'm looking at how I reclaim grace. To all who helped: much love.

4. To all of you who do online tutoring, what do you think of it? I have some expertise, and I think I could parlay it into a little more income and use it for the benefit of others. Thoughts?

5. We find out this week what sort of pre-k/transitional kindergarten programme Buggy will be in this fall. And, cool thing: H was also accepted into our local college and is going to be finishing her degree in Chemical dependency counseling. Her sobriety not withstanding, she is so smart and if she wouldn't have had her oldest son so young she could have done anything. She was studying to become a nurse when "life" and a few other things got in the way, and I think how much of a loss it was, truly. So having her go back to school is truly making sure the smartest person in this house gets to use that amazing brain for good of others and not just making good stuff like the boule in the picture.

6. Jimmy Buffet and Bill Richardson, on the same day? I got to meet Bill and hear him speak, and he was truly a champion for the forgotten and unjustly imprisoned. And Jimmy... I heard so many stories of him playing the Elbow room in Dutch Harbour and Tony's in Kodiak that, turns out were all true. While he might have been seen as a brand, some of his lyrics really hit my old broken down ass self pretty hard. And like his lyric said,

"I hope you're enjoying the scenery

I know that it's pretty up there

We can go hiking on Tuesday

With you I'd walk anywhere

California has worn me quite thin

I just can't wait to see you again"

Peace be with them...

7. The agates and the quartz glass are from a local beach, and 3 generations of hands have touched them. 3...Somewhere, my father figure is proud and glad it took(and that his great grandson loves rocks and getting dirty, just like him).

If you are still reading this, don't labour tomorrow. Rest. Relax. It's been a hard 9 months, and judging by our mountain ash bushes here, it's going to be a long miserable winter. Many blessings yall, and be kind to yourselves and take a moment. If my stubborn ass can finally say, and mean it, "I love the person I am becoming", you can too.

Much love!!!!

#me #this is my life #singer songwriter #dadlife #exhausted #henry adam #washington state #in repair #blackberries #huckleberries #daniel hickey

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rainofdauwuand0w0 · 5 months ago

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I sit and stop to think sometimes when i cant sleep, about the whats and the hows of everything, the whys usually escaping me.

For example my channel

My youtube channel, when i first created it, like so many others, just started out as a way for me to watch and enjoy the content of others, finding the enjoyment of those who also enjoyed games like i did, markiplier and jacksepticeye my main favorites for gaming related stuff, there were others of course but, sometimes its best to lay some parts of memory to rest and let them stay at rest. Randomly finding matpat in his younger days, and some other theorizing minds whom i lost interest and forgot over time most likely. Though i also found some other things. old game devs, playthroughs of the dev commentaries, and finding them in games myself. All these culminating in my interests of force of what i wanna do on my channel and sometimes i think about it and I get scared. But the best advice I’ve seen from this site was to do it scared, and so i have been, and slowly trying to get braver and more confident into talking into a shitty headset mic, on a computer thats being the lil dell desktop that could. And in all honesty if my desktop computer core was a thing, i would tell it how proud i am for managing what it can despite its own limitations, I am proud of it for giving me the ability to atleast get a start into all this. And so far, I have made technically two series to start off, lets start with “rain rambles”, the name i took from my own random idea for what i would call my random rambles on here originally but now it is for a video series, all about discussing my thoughts on weaponry and maps and modes in games of interest, of course it is called rain rambles so it may change over time, but for now that was the base idea, to talk about a game, mod, sourcemod, fangame, etc, and share my thoughts on the design of the stuff in it!

Then there is the kingsway game series i have started up, im gonna do my best to keep up with it atleast semi-regularly and try to keep working through things and go through the motions of trying to record the game, get to working on my confidence that a video could suddenly be seen by lots of people, even if in youtube numbers terms it may seem small, my brain imagines them in spaces i inhabit like they were over for a house part of some sort. And sometimes i overthink and go, “oh maybe tomorrow” and some days i manage it.

I hope despite the beginner quality, my videos are enjoyed, that my videos are at the very least some nice background noise to listen to and leave on while you are off doing something else, or that you do manage to enjoy my commentary, despite my shyness of irl and online being shown full force in these videos.

I wanna make videos, I wanna entertain folks, make them laugh, smile, and more. I wanna provide a space to relax, watch a video of someone playing a game for a long form, and enjoy the experience of it all.

But my youtube channel is not the only thing on my mind that cant yet sleep due to all these thoughts. It’s life, in general to a degree i think, because I think I’ve finally figured out something that scares me. I don’t know who I’ll be when I’m truly me, transitioned, in a household that I don’t have to worry about the foods and doing fractioning to ensure lil siblings get the food they need for their growing bodies. Ensuring the space of the household of downstairs, remains decent at the very least in looks and stuff, doing my best with my circumstances. I want to do a online job, so that i may continue my work on my youtube as well, my passion of creative energy going to something, somewhere, somehow, despite the feeling that the walls are closing in despite me only barely starting out adulthood, I have seen in my early age someone who became the person in the basement, playing in their room for while they didn’t do anything with all that time, looking for no jobs at the time, the scarily distance from anything but games yet no sight of anything to turn it into even just a hobby for the hell of it, to have fun with others, said person has since gotten a job and began making payments to ensure they keep their internet, so they’ve changed, but my brain has mentally exhausted and scared myself into a toxic visage of “YOU CAN BECOME THAT BUT x10 WORSE!” as if i wasn’t already on the road to being that burned out gifted kid, and yet here I am. Scared of growing up but also wanting to move on.

I don’t wanna be at my mom’s forever. Not due to societies weird obsession with instant separation of the family as they grow up past the big ol’ 20 that you now must be thrown to the wolves. But because I feel like this space holds me down in a sense, i wanna stop being the caterpillar, I wanna become the butterfly I know i can be. But rn its really hard to be stuck as the caterpillar, to be at the “just eating leaves” stage of my life seemingly, while the world around me has scary event after “moment(s) of our time” keep happening and happening, i wanna fly off to my boyfriends current place of stay and just get this all started, maybe even get this youtube thing more consistent as I will feel like I don’t have to waste energy on the most important things in my current place on the important things of watching siblings, the household, ensure that things aren’t being destroyed, make sure the lil siblings are fed for the day of lunch and breakfast, and sometimes ensuring that something is done in addition to that, like an extra chore, like cleaning a bathroom or putting away/starting dishes, and all that adds on to how much energy I’ve used in a day. So when i get to recording its hard to pull up and sit in the chair, sometimes i just wanna sit on the floor and play something else, thats where the edited videos of smaller things come in, the 2v8 dbd video was just me trying to use remaining energy to make something, to make SOMETHING out of my creativity out into the world.

#late night thoughts #early morning thoughts #time is weird #brain doing a think #rain rambles

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mimibtsghost7 · 4 years ago

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Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost.

funny enough:

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life.

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol).

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well .. guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me?

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right:

Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me:

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first.

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony.

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them? You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that?

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner.

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever.

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it: a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left. As for me @hobisbeautifulass you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

#Anonymous #hobisbeautifulass #don't mind the typos as I wrote this in one go #just because I am someone who do not punch back when someone hit me do not mean I will stand nicely when you touch my people #anyway~ bye~#mimibtsghost

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moidse · 3 years ago

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Just found out i didnt get into the sundance thing that i stayed up all night writing a script for last week 🙃 i truly feel so defeated right now. Like ahhhhhh, i was nominated to apply for this and STILL got rejected. I dont even apply to anything anymore because I don't have any hope. Nobody likes my shit anymore... it sucks. I dont even like my shit anymore... idk if i ever did i was just in school before and had a lot of positive feedback.

I just feel lost creatively. Like fully. I don't feel confident in my music. I dont feel confident in my writing. I just feel like I can't make anything that good nor do i have the funds to even if i had a good idea.

I just don't want to apply to any of these things anymore because I know they aren't looking for stuff like my work. Idk i just am tired and feel like i didnt take advantage of my first films success because i didnt know how and was still in school. Whatever, it doesnt matter how i could rewrite the past now... i just need to think about the future ... which is also depressing..

Like i cant afford to live on my own out here and i dont feel 100 about our relationship but i cant afford to live on my own so i feel trapped like i gotta still live in the same house which i do not want. I just feel stuck and depressed and i was really hoping i was going to get into this sundance thing and it could lead to more opportunities for me. Idk what to do... i feel like a has been.

In an ideal world, I'd like to live in a different apartment, possibly in LA. I'd like to start producing and making music for fun, making video ideas I have for fun and not stressing about how the world will perceive my art. I want to have a job that isn't super stressful and ideally works with my degree. I need a car.

---- few days later vv

I just want to be financially independent but its so hard because this world sux. I have been feeling like im in this relationship as a means of survival and i hate it!!! This has gone on too far and is just toxic and bad for everyone. I just need to break up with them like fr... and talk out me moving out soon and figure it out. I can't keep this up much longer im TIRED. And i hate how im jusy hurting them more and more like i just need to go and be like yo I'm sorry my feelings have just gone away and i honestly have felt like i cant talk about this because i rely on you so much for housing and transportation and so ive felt stuck.

Its fucked up that im with someone i dont think is hot... but like what do you do if you arent as into your partner... you break up so they can find someone who will be a good partner to them.

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templepriest-motherfucker · 4 years ago

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I am unable to express the frustration and feelings of worthlessness at my current situation. Disclaimer: I know other people have it worse and I’m fine physically and am safe.

But how do I even begin to talk about this. I’ve grown up as the “smart kid” then got a full tuition scholarship in my university’s honors program, graduated with two degrees. I had over 160 credit hours. I’ve spent time working on high level genetic barcoding projects for the EPA, I’ve published papers, I’ve won international awards for my writing. My entire family sees me as some scientist, writer, translator, someone who’s going places.

I was told, with my academic achievements and experiences, I’d easily get a job making 50k right out of college. “Our honors students work for multinational corporations across the country, we have students at NASA, working mid-level positions for the NPS and EPA. That’s what you’ll be doing, don’t settle for anything less.” they said. And I believe it, because I have friends and classmates who did just that. But...I didn’t.

And I don’t know if that’s a personal failure on my part. If I should have gone to grad school, or stayed in Michigan, or maybe I’m just not trying hard enough on my applications. It’s a coin toss: half the time I think it’s my fault and half I don’t.

Because at the end of the day, I’ve applied to over 350 jobs. I’ve fucking tried. I’ve written cover letter after cover letter and made an entire CV. I did everything they told me would work (but did I really? did I do it well enough? did I put enough blood sweat and tears into that linkedin profile, or was I doing the bare minimum?)

is it me or the end of the world? Am I unemployed because the world is going to shit and there’s a raging pandemic, or am I just using that as an excuse? People have found jobs in the last five months, it’s not impossible (why am i acting like it is? I cant tell what’s real anymore)

I don’t want to measure my worth by how much I produce for a capitalist system. I do things I enjoy, I’m an activist, I try to be a good and helpful person. I pick up litter off the beach and am friendly to everyone I meet, isn’t that enough? Sometimes I believe it is, sometimes not.

Am i the worthless ungrateful lazy hippie millennial they say I am?

Or am I finding my meaning in another way?

but then...

Am I truly okay with how I’m existing in my life right now?

Or am i deluding myself into thinking that, so I can ignore my self loathing?

.......

Do I really even want to be a part of a system that will deny me opportunities for the style of my hair and length of my shorts? One that measures a persons worth by the color of their skin and number of revolutions around the sun?

Maybe I do. Maybe that’s why I’m so restless and depressed. But maybe not.

#vent #unemployed #unemployment #unemployed life #2020 grad #2020 graduate #pandemic life #life during covid 19 #anti capitalist

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theartfuldodger26 · 5 years ago

Note

Bellamort for the ship meme

Thank you @knightessofwalpurgis for the ask and apologies for taking me a month to answer - March has been... quite the experience. But Bellamort exists to give us comfort, so let’s get crackin’!

who is more likely to hurt the other?

Voldemort can tear anyone apart with some well-chosen words (as we see Locket!Voldemort do to Ron), but he rarely uses those on Bella, because a. she rarely deserves to be humiliated like that, and b. he just wouldn’t do that to her.

What’s more likely, is that he hurts her inadvertently, since he may fail to understand certain emotional needs that Bella most people have - a touch, a kind word after success, casual conversation over a cup of tea. In addition to that, Bella, who is obsessed with him and the position she holds in his eyes, tends to overreact to those “omissions”, getting convinced he ‘never truly valued her’ and he’s going to ‘kick her out any day now’.

However, let us take a moment to note the day that Bella deeply hurt Voldemort: the night of her betrothal to Rodolphus, when Voldemort proposed marriage and Bella turned him down for reasons that, in retrospect, she finds ridiculous.

So in a way, you could say that of the two, Voldemort is the brokenhearted one, even if it’s Bella who cries herself to sleep from time to time.

who is emotionally stronger?

They’re both incredibly strong people.

Voldemort pulled himself out of the gutter, basically raised himself and became one of the most powerful and learned wizards ever.

Bella survived fucking Azkaban, which is code for severe depression in HP-land, so all I can do is salute her and ask for her secrets.

The answer is a little tricky, in the sense that Voldemort appears to be a psychopath, medically speaking, who are... resilient people emotionally, if you will. This means that an event that would have had a massive effect on a neurotypical person, say witnessing a murder or war, to him it’s very blunted or even irrelevant. This description is very vague and generalising, but it’s supported by a lot of evidence. In fact, psychopaths can’t really feel fear, because their amygdala is the size of a pea, so it’s not fair comparing his emotional strength to others. In fact, I’d add that since he’s not used to “negative emotions” like sadness and fear, if they happen, they’d be more devastating to him, because he’s never learnt to cope with them, like the rest of us do.

Bella obviously has her own emotional/psychiatric problems, but I don’t feel comfortable making guesses, since I’m not a psychiatrist and she’s no textbook description of any personality disorder I’ve heard. However, she got an interestng upbringing, that trained her to be a person of importance. So I’d say that even after Azkaban and with whatever issues she has, she can still hold her own in a very difficult emotional situation.

I realise I haven’t answered the question, because honestly Idk. Also, take with a grain of salt anything psychiatry-related I said, I’m no expert, merely done some research, which I’m regurgitating here.

who is physically stronger?

Naturally, Bella. She trains a lot, does ballet (which is fucking hardcore, let me tell you), enjoys physical activities and martial arts.

However, after Voldemort’s transformation, he’s got many of his physical attributes improved, like the cat-eyes that allow him to see in the dark and so on (been reading a lot of the Witcher series as of recent so there’s that too), so he’s deceptively strong and yes, eventually stronger than her.who is more likely to break a bone?

Bella, 100% XD She’s in battle all the time, and when taking part in Voldemort’s magical research (which is their day-job, world domination is a weekend hobby in case you haven’t noticed) her motto is ‘safety third’.

An interesting point tho. Psychopaths have no fear and low-impulse control if they don’t train themselves. Fear is useful, informs us of danger ahead, so I HC that young Tom/Voldemort broke almost every bone in his body at some point doing something really dangerous simply because he didnt realise it’s stupid - like, say, go down a fucking cliff with waves crushing at it. Now he’s learnt to control those impulses and polices himself when it comes to danger, so no more broken bones. who knows best what to say to upset the other?

They’re both excellent at judging characters and have tongues that sting. Bella will rarely truly dare upset Voldemort, but she does love torturing him a little with something silly and not-truly important, like refusing sex, or messing with his OCD by taking stuff from “their proper place”. She knows that there’s only few things that tick him off: his loss of power to an infant, death and the abandonment from his mother. And she’s not that sadistic to bring up that last one unless absolutely provoked.

Voldemort can be a tease as well, but he’s too mature and dignified for such childish behaviour most of the time. who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?

Bella apologises compulsively out of fear she’s lost him even for things that aren’t her fault, tho in her mind they might be. However, she’s stubborn too, so if it’s a petty argument she might not apologise at all. Shes a spoilt little rich girl after all ;)

Voldemort’s never apologised in his life and never shall say the words, but he will change his behaviour if he realises he’s been wrong, because it’s the rational thing to do- also Bella is supersexy when she’s angry, so he wants to fuck her and he needs to her to be accepting to that. who treats who’s wounds more often?

Voldemort treats Bella’s wounds more often by default, since she’s the one out in the battlefield more often, and also can be clumsy and absentminded. And very rarely *trigger alert* she might self-harm.

Voldemort not only gets hurt rarely, but he also views it demeaning to accept help, so he won’t even mention it if he’s hurt. Bella will find out by accident or because he’s in so much pain he can’t hide it anymore, and with scold him first, he’ll storm off, she’ll hunt him down, they’ll argue and finally she’ll heal his wounds (usually his back which hurts because he’s Tall^TM) and he’ll act like a literal cat during this, touch-starved as he is. who is in constant need of comfort?

Right after Azkaban Bella is in need of a lot of care and comfort, understandably. Her physical and emotional problems are their reality for many months after her escape, but the physical ones mend themselves relatively quickly. She’s forever changed emotionally, again understandably, but I wouldn’t say she’s in *constant* need of comfort. In an AU where they win, she’s perfectly functional as his right hand woman and partner, with only the occasional problem.

Voldemort needs to get through his tough, bald head that he deserves love and comfort like everyone else, but he’ll never get it, so, in the whole, it’s him I’d say. who gets more jealous?

Interesting question, because fandom’s given so many answers relating to those characters, especially since Bella is married. Starting with this piece of solid information, I’d hazard a guess that Voldemort doesn’t care that much that Bella also sleeps with her husband from time to time - maybe it even turns him on and strokes his ego that she doesnt get all she needs from her legitimate, pureblooded husband. How he’d react if she slept with a random bloke... probably badly; tho I cant think of a situation where that’d happen. My Bella at least, doesnt sleep around. She might tease with her sex, but she’s a well-bred lady after all, who does what is expected of her.

Voldemort, I HC, used to be a bit of a whoremonger in his youth; good looks, mummy issues and no emotional attachment are the ingredients for that particular potion. Also he might have also been overcompensating for the fact that he was unable to marry the only women he found worthy of him: his pureblooded classmates. So he’d show up with a different, gorgeous girl at parties, which drove child!Bella crazy with jealousy, since she was still out of the healthy sexual attraction part for him and never thought he’d notice her. She’d stalk him behind curtains and through keyholes, keep her ears on alert for when the adults talked about him etc. Poor thing was really tortured by it. But now that they’re adults and, well, in a relationship, she’s far too confident to think he’d seriously care for another woman; after all, half the time she’s not sure he truly cares about her, and she’s the person who’s been closest to him.

One thing I forgot to mention about Voldemort’s jealousy, or lack thereof, is that Bella has certain emotional needs that he cannot serve, and I’m not talking about tenderness, because to some degree he can give her that, and it’s not the same with her husband anyway. No, I mean that Bella is a sexual sadist, who gets direct sexual pleasure by hurting people. Voldemort on the other hand, is not a masochist. Not that when they have rough sex/BDSM sex he’s never in a sub position, but he’d never just sit there to be whipped or something, it just doesn’t turn him on, and that’s totally fine. So they may invite a girl (and very rarely a boy) to join them, so that Bella can get it out of her system if the war is slow/over. Don’t ask where these people end up, just don’t hang your coat in the second floor closet is all I’m saying. who’s most likely to walk out on the other?

Depends on the situation?

Bella would NEVER abandon Voldemort in battle or for the Cause. In a Muggle setting though, if he pissed her off she’d totally walk out of the restaurant :P

Voldemort would never walk out on Bella either, tho, would he? He’s devoted to her, plus he does feel like he owes her after Azkaban.

The only concept I can imagine relevant to this is Voldemort saying something in his anger that he doesnt exactly mean tho it holds some truth in it, that hurts Bella so deeply, that she leaves, both out of spite but also because she thinks it’s the best for him. In fact, I have a very specific HC for this which takes place in the afterlife, after they;re both killed in the battle for Hogwarts, but there’s no time for that here.

There’s also another thing, but it’d quite controversial. If you, like me, HC that Bella started training with Voldemort since she was a child, and entered a sexual and later romantic relationship with him while still underage, this means that she literally hasn’t been alone as an individual, ever. So there’s also the chance that she, after they’ve had a huge fight and he’s terrible with her, leaves so she can find who she is without him. *cue the tears*who will propose?

Voldemort did propose, on the night of Bella’s formal betrothal. Very rude and uncourteous of him, yes, but it had to be the last minute for him to realise his feelings, because he only has one (1) brain cell that works part-time on the Emotions Department of his brain. She turned him down, because she was young, immature, didnt realise how deep her own feelings were (she believed what her mother told her, that ‘all girls fall for Riddle, it’s an infatuation, it will pass’), wanted the power, fame, money and public adoration that her position as the Black Heir brought, not to mention that she was loyal to her family and terrified since Andromeda had just eloped with Ted. So she broke his heart then, even if neither realised it. But they did continue with their affair, because that’s how it happened in the olden days if you had money and space.

After the war is over, neither proposes. They talk about it as a given (Rodolphus has fucked off to study penguins in Antarctica) and only need to figure out the details: how public it will be, who’s invited, what titles the ceremony gives them and so on. who has the most difficult parents?

Spoiler alert: Voldemort’s an orphan!

Okay, so hypothetically speaking, had any of his parents survived and raised him one way or the other, they’d for sure be a handful. Tom Sr. is a posh bloke used to getting his own way and being considered special due to his status as a squire, so he’d be fucking pissed if he were introduced to a world where he’s not all the shit. Nonetheless, I’d hazard a guess that in the end he, Bella and her parents would get along well-enough; after all they’re the same sort of people.

Merope, on the other hand, is a whole other story. In the most sensible AU, where she survives giving birth and raises her son but they’re still poor and she’s got trouble with magic due to the trauma of Tom Sr. leaving her, I think she wouldn’t like Bella at all actually. Because Bella is all she ever wanted to be: beautiful, wealthy, well-bred and shows it, and, most importantly, emotionally strong. So she pesters Tom all the time about how Bella is not ‘feminine enough’ in her behaviour, too outspoken, too bitchy, not for ‘her boy’. Tom/Voldemort gives exactly one shit about her opinion and moves on.

In the canon universe, it’d be naive to say that Bella’s parents were into Tom, simply due to his blood status. In the longrun, however, I think they'd come to terms with it, and they remember how brilliant and ambitious he was in school, so when he becomes successful in life, whether in-universe as Voldemort, or Minister or whatever in an AU, they’re sort of okay with it. Idk if they hand over the Heir of Blacks title to Bella tho, their kids wouldn’t be pureblooded after all. who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?

No one. Not allowed. Not happening. Ever. It’s not their thing, anyway. Voldemort will offer her his arm, like a gentleman, tho. :)

who hogs the blankets?

Bella, especially after Azkaban. She sleeps with five blankets piled on top of her, has the fireplace going all year round and puts a warmth charm on the sheets. Voldemort doesn’t care. He experienced such cold temperatures in so little clothing as a child, that hot and cold make little impression on him; he even takes cold showers because it’s all the same to him. *sobs* who gets more sad?

Bella. She overthinks everything. Did she disappoint him today? Yesterday? Tomorrow? Will she ever be the person she was before prison? Why does Cissy wince every time she sees her? Should she have had children after all? These and all sorts of thoughts race through her mind all the time, torturing her to no end.

Interestingly enough, psychopaths in general dont get that sad, but Voldemort can be very... pensive. who is better at cheering the other up?

Bella has a wicked sense of humor that only Voldemort seems to find hilarious (comments from other people include ‘disturbing’, ‘scary’ and ‘morbid’), and even though he’s rarely sad, he can be very very serious and in need to relax his body and mind.

Still, Voldemort, the eternal student of human nature that he is, if he does notice that Bella is sad (which isn’t always because he’s... you know), knows exactly how to distract her, just like he can do with any other person. Just, in her case, it’s sincere. who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

No one ever hits anyone. Voldemort’s been beaten and whipped and flogged enough as a young boy that he wouldn’t do it to the only person he cares about in a non-sexy way, and Bella’s been raised to view such things as ‘Muggle animalistic violence’. She might bite him hard for fun, tho :Dwho is more streetwise?

This may come as a surprise to you because of my username, but Voldemort grew up on the streets in a Dickensian world. He knows all the tricks in the book; in fact he created many of them. Bella begged him to take her along in his travels incognito, and not on these formal things she attends with her family, and he did, so she’s learnt a lot, but she’s very much a pampered princess. who is more wise?

Hmmm... Hard to say. They have their areas of wisdom and their areas of not-having-a-fucking-clue. Bella, for example, understands emotions better than Voldemort, because she actually experiences them. Jk, jk, but you get what I mean. She’s also more knowledgeable in certain magical things, that, for example, not all prophecies have to be fulfilled and that there’s so much magic that it’s pointless to wish to acquire *everything*; had Voldemort listened to her more often, the books would have been very different.

Voldemort of course is much older and has more diverse life-experience. He’s also less impulsive in his older years than Bella; he can be the voice of rationality and reason if he’s not superobsessed with something; at which point Bella should remind him to take his meds, because they really do help with fixations. who’s the shyest?

Neither, in the strict sense of the meaning. They both know what they want and they’re not afraid to demand it. In the end, it’s Voldemort who’ll never say what he truly needs and feels, though, speaking about their everyday life together, it’d be Bella who’d rather have more affection from him but is too shy to ask. But yeah, Voldemort, not because he’s shy per se, but rather in deep hurt and denial. who boasts about the other more?

In the books it’s obvious that it’s Bella. However, Voldemort does this hilarious thing where he praises Bella in random conversation with other people without even noticing; like, he brings her up every ten seconds even if she’s barely relevant to the subject, so *shrugs* have your pick. who sits on who’s lap?

Nobody, because they’re both tall. Bella will straddle him even in a non sexual manner from time to time, and they often spend their evenings relaxing on the same sofa: Bella will put her legs on Voldemort’s lap and he strokes them absentmindedly (after all they’re superlong and soft and hot), and Voldemort, who refuses to nap in bed, might catch a nap with his head on her lap. The reason Bella doesn’t nap with her head on his lap is because he’s very thin and his femurs hurt her skull, when she’s got plenty of skirts and petticoats cushioning Voldemort. Finally, Bella often sleeps with her head on his chest, because his heart-beat, even tho abnormally slow, relaxes her panic attacks, after Azkaban that is. He will then stroke her hair compulsively - it’s a bit of a fixation of his.

Well,what a ride! Thanks again @knightessofwalpurgis for the ask, this was tremendous fun to write, especially after a very difficult month! And it did help put some of my thoughts on those evil babies in a row. Hope you found it entertaining! I get that those types of asks are usually made for monolectic answers, but yeah, explanations are better. If you made it to the end, dear reader, thank you very much for your time!

#bellamort #bellamort ask #knightessofwalpurgis #relationship meme #bellatrix lestrange #voldemort #lord voldemort #tom riddle #still can't write #but apparently i can do asks #so thats what we're doing today

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skiasurveys · 5 years ago

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393

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? um,,? I would assume I was a young adult ig?

2.Which is worse, failing or never trying? never trying, b/c you would never know if you were good or not. 3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? idk..man because we feel forced by society 4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done ? I hope not. 5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I wish people would stop flexing. 6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? spending time with my loved ones tbh, and making art. 7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? rn i am in college so 8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? no different. 9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? a little, im trying to fix it. 10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? doing things right..i always think im gonna be a failure. 11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I would let them know that she is my friend and i find it disrespectful of what theyre saying. 12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Honestly, dont worry about what others say. do what you want. 13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yeah i would.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yeah look at most art lol 15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Im not sure... 16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? because were all just different people? 17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? travel really. I want to see more of the world and cultures.

18. What’s holding you back? money.

19. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? yeah my fathers death.

20. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? maybe the UK? and Idk its different and i dont wanna live in the us. 21. Do you push the elevator button more than once? not really. 22. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? joyful 23. Why are you, you? life experiences.

24. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I think i have but i do have a lot to work on. 25. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? losing touch. it sucks when you can feel them slipping away right from your fingers and you cant change it. we live in a world where face time is a thing so when someone moves it doesnt feel that much different. 26. What are you most grateful for? My mom 27. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? fuck. Never make new ones. 28. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? idk..? 29. What is your greatest fear? Has it ever come true? Drowning. lol

30. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? it wouldve been either when my friend hurt me or when my dad had died. so yeah. 31. What is your happiest childhood memory? vaca with dad

32. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? im not sure.. 33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? idk. 34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Of course, sometimes the best people are the people you dont have to make up a lot of words. 35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Cus humans. 36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? yes and no. we all have our set of morals. for sure murder is evil..i would hope everyone would agree. 37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? yes. even tho i just got it but like i hate working LOL. 38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? more work i like to do 39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? yes.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? what

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? i would try to see them all lol

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Of course LOL

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? alive is just doing ur boring ass shit every day but living is like actually doing what u love lol 44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? you just know tbh 45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? because we dont wanna look stupid or hurt others. depending on the mistake. 46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? dress better and be more active with my social media career. 47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? right now 48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? i love art, i always have. it just lets me express myself without feeling weird. 49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? i will for sure b/c i just started working at this shit job so ill for sure remember this. i better not be here in 5 years or ill kms. 50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? myself but i always ask ppl for advice to help me. so both?

#survey #deep questions

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the-alexsandria-studies · 6 years ago

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changing majors

so, i just recently changed my major AGAIN and hopefully this is for the final time. as i was doing this, i realized something. everyone around me kept asking me if i REALLY wanted to do this, if i REALLY thought it was the best choice for me, WHY i was doing it, and all that. they could not seem to fathom why I wanted to change it again and were much more cautious about the idea than i was.

i originally was an english major. i was fresh out of high school and i had always enjoyed english so i figured, yep that is where i should be. i wanted to be a writer and an editor. that sounded perfect to me. it took me one class to show me that ACTUALLY my true passion is education and helping others, specifically children.

whenever i considered the idea that i didnt want to be an english major anymore, it really took me aback. i thought that i couldnt possibly change my major. i felt like i had been so stupid for working so hard towards an english degree and then now wanting to change it. i spent countless hours lying awake at night going over whether i should change it or not.

then i dropped out of college bc of a problem with financial aid and personal issues. during the time i was off of school, i worked a variety of jobs and got my own place. i spent all my time researching education and knew in my heart that working with children and helping them learn was very important to me. not only that, but i was extremely interested in child development and behavior.

so then i went back to community college to finish up my associate’s to make myself competitive for the university i would transfer to in the fall. i was taking classes for an elem ed major and loved them! i loved my classes! they were so interesting and taught me so much! but when i signed up for my classes for the fall, i felt a strange disconnect bc now the classes were focusing less on the psych behind child development and more went into the practicum experiences.

then i was suggested to join the bat program (behavior analysis and therapy) within the college of ed and human services. immediately i knew in my heart tat this is what i wanted. the first time i changed majors, it took me honestly like four months to finally make up my mind. the second time, it took me about a day. why did it hardly take me any thought to change my major?

bc when you’re going to college, you should love what you are doing. you should love to be studying what you are studying and want to keep diving into the knowledge and textbooks at your disposal. you should be striving to do your best and to excell in everything you do there. i was in those ed courses, but they were straying away from what i wanted to do, especially my end goal. i want to be able to conduct my own research when i get out of college and that would be difficult working as a full time elementary teacher. it did not seem to fit. but becoming a board certified behavioral analyst? now that could surely fit.

when you’re stuck between two majors or even a few consider your options. what speaks to you the most? which subject makes you the most happy? feel the most fulfilled? what could you do for the rest of your life and smile about doing? what could you read hundreds of books on and yet never be satisfied? whatever that is, set your eyes on that path and follow where it leads. dont get that accounting degree just bc you will make decent money. dont go into nursing if you cant stand all the math and science classes. do what your passion tells you to do. feel out your path and then make sure that you are continually wanting that. passions change over time but what should never change is your happiness. find what makes you truly happy.

#studyblr #studyspo #the alexsandria studies #advice #college advice #major #major change #college #university #personal

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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time’s arrow {Roger Taylor}

Anon asked: Hi, I love your roger/ben imagines so much and was wondering if you could do some angst with Roger x female, maybe they are good friends and she sees him with another. Whatever you would like! Thank you x :)

A/N: 2727 words. A story told through Seasons. I took a little bit of liberties with the prompt, if that’s okay? This hit me like a lightning bolt and I had to write it. Angst with a happy ending. (I’m just trying to show I’ve got versatility in writing, okay?)

Warnings: Implied sex.

You meet him in Spring, before it all begins, he sits up the back of your Intro to Head and Neck Anatomy lectures, the only class with open spots available by the time you were looking for a science credit. You find out he’s in a band three weeks into the first class, finally going to the local bar, sick of cramming your brain full of information you’re not even sure is necessary for your degree. He grins at you and wow okay, you didn’t even think he’d recognise you.

“You’re in, um,” he’s leaning against the bar next to you in this dimly lit pub, grabbing a drink between sets. Faltering for a moment, his eyes travel down before you clear your throat, angry at yourself for blushing, but his smile widens, “my class.” He finishes, taking a sip of his beer. You agree, rolling your eyes at him, but even that seems to amuse him. He asks your name. The guitarist is calling him over, setting up for the next set, but you tell him before he leaves. Something tightens in your chest when, later that night, he catches your eyes mid-song, his look of intense focus shifting for a moment as he grins, giving you a wink.

He takes to sitting next to you in lectures, chewing the end of his pencil and taking occasional notes in a falling apart notebook that looks as though he uses it for every class. You catch lyrics in the margins and at the bottom of some pages, but he’s cagey about that in a strange way, just says you’ll have to come to a gig to find out what they’re about. So you do.

Gigs become a regular for you, and you start to become friends with the girls who frequent the shows, often hosting predrinks in your dorm room for Mary and her friends on a Friday night. You learn on one of those nights that at least two of the girls have hooked up with him, and there’s a strange, sinking sensation in your chest. You’re not sad, or at least, you tell yourself you shouldn’t be. You and Roger are just friends, it’s not like there’s anything going on there, sure, sometimes after a really good show he’ll give you a pash, but it’s- that’s just him.

It’s not like you’ve never thought about it, but you also know his reputation, and that it’ll do more harm than good to get involved with that. He’s the one mistake you don’t think you want to make.

It’s Summer, a few years later, when they trade in the van to get money to hire the recording studio. Roger had really loved that van, and he lay on your sofa for a solid hour grumbling about it, about how Freddie had some kind of nerve. You roll your eyes at him, call him a drama queen, which he takes offence to, but moves obligingly when you sit down, letting him rest his head in your lap.

When you raise the point that it might be worth it, he looks frankly aghast, griping about how he has to catch lifts everywhere now. He calms down somewhat when you start carding your fingers through his hair, though he still pouts.

“If it comes to it, I’ll buy you a car, you baby.” You snort, despite the fact that you’re currently barely making a living wage on some retail job, it’s not where you’d thought you’d be after university, but sometimes that’s just how it is. He looks up at you, and when you look down at him, he’s looking very intense. Perhaps he might say something poignant about your offer, you think, but instead he reaches up and pokes your nose.

“I can see up your nostrils.” He tells you, and you smack his hand away, scowling. You stand abruptly, ignoring his complaints, smoothing your pants out against your thighs.

“Come on,” you offer your hand, which he regards with both confusion and a bit of disdain, “you can’t mope around my apartment and complain about the band again. We’re going out.” That gets his interest.

You’ve been to bars with him before, and usually you go home alone while he gets the pick of the prettiest girls of the night, or he decides to wingman you, which hurts your heart a little, but you won’t decline. You were attractive in your own right, you won’t deny that, you didn’t technically need his help, but a selfish part of you likes the way the attention to you, even if it’s to help you get with other people.

Tonight is different, tonight he doesn’t leave your side, he slings an arm around you as the two of you stand by the bar watching the truly mediocre band they had on that night.

“You know why they aren’t recording an album?” You ask as the set ends.

“Because they didn’t sell their van?” Roger mused, vaguely bitter, but not melancholy as he swirled the last of his drink in his free hand.

“No, it’s because they’re terrible.” Turning, you smile at your own blunt remark, and when he looks back at you, he’s grinning with a little disbelief. There’s very little space between the two of you, but that doesn’t make your heart race anymore, he’s your best friend, close contact was part of the bargain. But he kissed you, quickly, without warning, and when he pulls back, he turns away to order another drink like nothing had happened.

Your mind is spiralling, this isn’t post-gig excitement, this wasn’t something you were expecting. The selfish creature in your chest that you tried to deny for so long was crowing with victory. Taking a quick look around the bar, you don’t recognise anyone, though there are a few girls who look like they’d be his type- but his hand is moving to wrap around your waist as he turns back.

“What was that?” Voice quiet, you take his drink and have a sip of it yourself, the movement done from muscle memory alone. He raises his eyebrows at you, not regarding the drink, that was a usual occurrence, but at the question. He doesn’t seem to know how to answer, baffled at the question. Dropping you gaze, you take a sip of your own drink. “Why me? Why tonight?” You asked. Looking incredulous, he stepped back, looking you over.

“Have you seen yourself tonight, love? Couldn’t help myself.” You’ve heard him talk like this before, to other girls, not as blunt, but with you he can get away with it. The creature in your chest is elated, and you find yourself smiling, actually blushing. He moves closer once more, his arm around you, voice low as he spoke into your ear. “Trust me, you look very fit tonight, any man would be lucky to have a crack at you.” Heart in your throat, you hope you’re reading the situation right, at the same time ignoring the part of you that knew this was a bad idea.

“Even you?” You turned to face him, watching the way his smile shifted to a smirk, and he pulled you a little closer.

“You know I’m always feeling lucky.”

You kiss him, feeling your blood thumping in your veins, selfish and excited in equal measure, but with his hands on you, you can’t find the focus to care about the former.

Once the bad starts up again, Roger pulls away, making a face at them, asking if you wanted to get out of there. You do, and the two of you are elated on the quick walk back to his apartment, stopping only when he pressed you up against the wall of an closed shop to suck a hickey into the skin of your neck. You catch sight of it in his bedroom mirror, but he’s pulling off your jacket and you have better things to worry about.

It’s not weird, like you thought it would be, when you wake the next morning and he’s curled up, fast asleep with his back to you, but your chest aches just a little. He avoids eye contact over breakfast, though you chat like normal. The gripes about his van have died down, though he makes an offhand comment about things are changing that you read enough into to realise what had happened.

“You’ll always have me, Rog.” You reach across the table to take his hand, and he finally looks you in the eye, he looks so relieved, not that he’d ever say it. Afraid of losing another thing he cared about, he had panicked last night and tried to keep you close in the only way he knew how. He certainly loved you, but not in the way you wanted him to. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, you give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s not his fault.

Bohemian Rhapsody airs in Autumn, you’re regional manager now, and you’re sitting in your office when you hear for the first time; you almost scream when the first harmony comes in after the radio host introduces the song.

“You’re a star, Rog!” You gush over the phone on your break, unable to wait until that night when the band was having a celebratory get-together to talk to him.

“Of course, I am, you think I sing that high to be paid in peanuts?” You can hear the smile in his words without even seeing him, and being able to hear his voice warms your heart.

“That was you?” You laugh, the ‘Galileo's playing back in your head, and you try to picture him singing it, which only made you laugh harder.

“Oi,” he bristled, indignant at your laughter, “I’m the only one with the range to execute Freddie’s vision.” You could see him in your mind now, proud and stubborn, standing tall to defend the decision.

“I’m proud of you.” Suddenly sincere, you find your smile turning to something more genuine as you think back on far he’s come.

“Thank you.” His own voice has become less animated, more sincere, though you can still hear him smiling.

“Love you, Rog.” You tell him, just as you always did when you parted ways.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

He’s grinning, draped with casual confidence in an armchair in Freddie’s living room when you arrive, and you feel like you’ve been taken back five years, the casual enthusiasm he’s exerting. Smile brightening, he stands when he sees you, striding across the room to enfold you in a hug.

“Good to see you!” He practically beams at you, holding your shoulders as he looks over you, as if assessing you, seeing if anything has changed.

“Of course, you’ve been holed up for weeks, I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Though he’s in front of you, you’re words address the room as a whole, and when he steps back, Brian moves in to hug you as well, asking how you’ve been.

The boys are your friends, all of them, you’ve been around for most of their big band moments, and it eases something in your chest to be here for this one too. But then the ease sharply tightens as a woman you’ve never seen before sits on the arm of Roger’s chair, and he rests a hand on her thigh, smiling up at her.

Mary follows your gaze, and her smile is sad as she pulls you down to sit beside her, asking you about your thoughts on the single. You answer, though your heart’s not in it, and the selfish creature in your chest rears it’s ugly head after such a long slumber.

The monster has shifted, changed and grown, it hadn’t cared about him running around with any pretty girl he could find for the past few years, but this was different. Roger had made it clear that he was far from sacred, but this was the band, this was Freddie’s home, this was the place of some of your happiest memories; this was yours.

You stay well into the early hours of the following morning, despite the interloper, but Roger still stopped you at the door.

“I’m really glad you could make it, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” He’s smiling at you, but you don’t smile back. It’s been a long night of being kind and pretending that you’re heart didn’t hurt.

“Well, you’ve very busy.” You shrug, punctuating it with a yawn. His expression turns confused, and you open the door.

“Y/N.” He tried to get your attention, but you left, throwing a goodbye over your shoulder to him. “Love you.” He calls through the door, but you stay quiet, refuse to say it back, just keep walking. You’re too tired to be upset, but maybe you’ll get there tomorrow.

Things change, and you’ve grown to accept that, but sometimes old aches don’t heal like they should. Or at all.

“I’m getting married.” He calls you at the end of Winter.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

Your relationship’s been on the mend in the years since the Bohemian Rhapsody launch night. You two smile and laugh like you had when you were younger, and you’ve learned to listen to his exploits and his gripes about women, offering your own about your partners, though they’re few and far between. He’s still your best friend, and you learn to act like it.

“Congratulations.” Your voice is flat. It had been a shock, you’d heard about his latest on-again off-again girlfriend, and had even offered advice in certain situations, actual advice, no malice at all.

“Thanks.” He doesn’t seem to know where to go from here, and silence stretches out between the two of you.

“I should go.” You finally murmur.

“What? Why?” He spluttered, and you sighed deeply.

“Was there something else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against the wall.

“I- no, but I want you to be there.” He paused. “And I wanted to be the one to tell you.” Clenching your jaw, you make a snap decision.

“I can’t-”

“Why not?” He actually sounded angry, which was perhaps warranted, though your next words shut him up.

“Because it hurts, Roger.” After a beat, your voice is quiet. “Because I love you.” Taking a breath, you let yourself relax. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t watch you marry someone else.” There’s silence for a very long moment, but you hang up before he can respond. You take the phone off the hook. You need to be alone, just for now.

“After everything, you still-?” It’s the first day of Spring, and he’s on your doorstep, seemingly unable to say the word love. You’re wearing your pyjamas and he looks like he’s just walked out of a Rolling Stone cover shoot, though he just sort of looks like that now, you supposed.

“Don’t worry about it.” You try not to betray how much his visit shocked you, or the way his very presence after your recent conversation hurt you.

“You’re my best friend! Of course I’m gonna worry about it!” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. Sighing deeply, he stepped forward. “I thought I fucked everything up when we hooked up, I’m sorry, I panicked.” He was looking at his fidgeting hands, rather than your surprised expression. “And then... I thought I fucked it up again when I chose the band over you.”

“You never-” You tried to protest, but he smiled self-deprecatingly.

“No, I did. I loved you, and I thought that would get in the way of the band.” Clenching his jaw, he looked up and you could see the regret in his eyes. “It was easier to fuck around that tell you I love you.” Your breath stopped in your throat as he finally walked closer. “And I thought after everything, that you deserved better; you know what I’m like, why would you-?” But you cut him off with a kiss.

“You’ll always have me.” You murmured, finally letting yourself smile. Nothing about it felt selfish, in fact, it felt as though the sun was finally shining on you, warming you from the inside out.

“I know,” he agreed quietly, wrapping you up in a hug.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #borhap #queen #bohemian rhapsody #queen imagine #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #bo rhap #the angry lizard writes

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reylofanfictionanthology · 6 years ago

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After the Blazing Fire Dies: the 2019 Reylo Fanfiction Anthology Gift Fic Master Post Part Two

The After the Blazing Fire Dies Collection on AO3 | Gift Fic Masterpost Part One | Treats Masterpost

Home by Anonymous for methusalahoneysuckle

What does it mean to forgive a parent? What does it take to let go of a rage that feels so righteous? Or, How finding love for Ben Solo meant confronting his past, and finally learning to let go.

eight nights into forever by Anonymous for MissCoppelia

Rey has never had a family, has never known what it truly feels like to have a home. Then she meets Ben Solo, ten years her elder and entirely too handsome, he seems to be as taken with her as she is with him. A year into their romance he invites her to spend Hanukkah with his family in the United States and Rey, for the first time in her life, is faced with family... ...and a steamy night spent in Ben's childhood bedroom.

An avalanche of hopes and dreams. by Anonymous for MizuPhoenix

Rey sets off to find an ancient artifact, that might help the Resistance obtain victory and peace. But when Rey gets lost in a blizzard, and finds that Kylo Ren is once again right on her tracks, she rushes off into a cave. They end up caught inside, and need to find a way not to kill each other long enough to survive their current situation. Will they be able to pull it off?

Asleep now, and silent by Anonymous for monsterleadmehome

Rey Nolan takes Intro to Automotive Repair course at Coruscant Community College from Han Solo, intending to learn how to fix cars, and gains a pair of surrogate parents instead. Only trouble is, Han and Leia's son, Ben, is as hot as he is infuriating. And he makes her feel so uncomfortable, makes her want things she cant entirely put into words. But he always seems so cold to her, so rude. It's clear as day what he thinks of her, and it isn't favorable, so her crush simmers in silence. When the Organa-Solos invite Rey up for a winter getaway to their family's cabin, she doesn't realize Ben is coming, too. What's worse than having to spend six hours in a car with your crush, who hates you? Getting snowed in with him, that's what.

Signed, Future Kylo by Anonymous for Nervoustouch

It was just supposed to be some low-key spying, but once Rey realized that she could leave things for Kylo through the Force bond, how could she let the opportunity to let out her inner prankster go? What she didn’t expect, though, was that he would confront her about it.

Smiles and Shoulders by Anonymous for NewerConstellations

"Rey had just turned to head back to her desk, water bottle in hand, when she saw Ben Solo walk in. Just who she wanted to run into after an unpleasant morning of being poked and prodded by her gynecologist. Ben Solo was part of the First Order team that had come along when Resistance Games recently merged with First Order Entertainment. He was made project manager of the combined Quality Assurance team, Rey’s department, which meant he helped document and assign the bugs that made up each QA tester’s workflow. He was grouchy, and he usually sent important bugs last minute or just horribly documented, making everything harder for the team, especially during sprints. Over the three months they’ve been working together, she’d called Ben out on his terrible practices repeatedly, and each time he’d just challenge her to get the work done or steal his job. Which is why it surprised her now when she saw Ben give her a quick once over and his cheeks turned red..."

The Ways We Choose to Survive by Anonymous for Noppoh

"What's happening to me?" Part of his heart sinks. Part of it sparks something closer to alive. "You're a vampire now," he says. "I'm sorry."

Give and Take by Anonymous for OccasionallyCreative

Kylo Ren, Ben-- he knew not what his name ought to be now, at the end of everything safe and known--felt the familiar, tell-tale sting of newly conjured tears as he stared into his dysmorphic reflection shining up at him from a set of golden dice. His father’s dice. He shuddered a gasp, ignoring how his tears now trickled from the corners of his eyes, dripping into the crevasses of his face.

Degrees and Galaxies by Anonymous for okaypianist

Ben could think of numerous other things he would rather be doing than spending an afternoon working on a paper. That all changes when he bumps into Rey. Maybe spending the day at the coffee shop isn't the worst way to spend his time.

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) by Anonymous for PalenDrome

A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Why? by Anonymous for Pawprinter

A glance across a battlefield.

(won't you) whisper soft and slow by Anonymous for perperuna

ben solo (phd) is a physics professor at university of chandrila. rey jakkuson is an archivist specializing in historical documents from the 20th century who works at the university's library. they have no reason to run into each other ever-- except that rey is the head archivist for a project with letters from the vietnam war, including letters between anakin skywalker and padmé amidala.

Wrong by Anonymous for persimonne

Despite negotiating with the Resistance so that he can marry Rey the second she sets foot on-board his ship, Kylo is reluctant to have sex with her. It may have something to do with the writhing protuberance between his legs, but that's just a guess.

you pierce my soul by Anonymous for pillar_of_salt

It was not common knowledge, held only in the closest confidence by his most intimate associates, that Ben Organa-Solo’s heart had been captured by a Royal Navy captain as thoroughly as she captured and conveyed enemy vessels. However, despite his age and desire to be wed, he allowed himself to be persuaded against the match, for his dearly beloved mother was uncertain as to the young lady’s youth and her son’s proclivities for shouting matches and dueling.

Handcuffed in the Honeymoon Suite by Anonymous for platalet

Ben and Rey are caught breaking into the office of a notorious crime boss on Canto Bight. The boss decides to teach them a lesson in an unorthodox way.

A Smuggler and a Jedi by Anonymous for politicalmamaduck

Can you truly run away from destiny? Ben Solo thought he could after quitting the Jedi academy to get into the smuggling business with his father. However, when a lucrative job offer takes them deep into the territory of the Chiss in wild space, Ben must admit that his connection to the Force is not something he can keep running away from. When Ben comes face-to-face with Rey, a mysterious woman who had been appearing in his dreams, he must make a difficult choice.

The Moments that Belong to Us by Anonymous for PoliticalPadmé

the regency fic no one asked for.

Little Things by Anonymous for punkeraa

Ben is a freelance graphic designer who works out of his basement and prefers to not get involved with anyone. Rey is an amateur general contractor helping her friends flip the house across the street. When Rey tries to do something nice for her new neighbour, she's treated to a lecture and then several days of being avoided.

The Dark Earth Spins Beneath Us by Anonymous for radioactivesaltghoul

Ben's defection from the First Order is supposed to make everything different. And it has, for the most part--better. Except Rey can't seem to catch a moment alone with him, and Ben doesn't seem to be making any efforts to be alone with her. The ghost of Crait still hangs over them, but Rey knows this impasse can't last forever.

I Notice You As You're Noticing Me by Anonymous for rakefire

"JOIN YOUR FRIENDS HERE AT ‘ALL THAT JAZZ’ ON FEB 15TH FOR OUR 2ND ANNUAL SINGLES AWARENESS NIGHT Ladies get ½ priced drinks Gents get ½ priced fries JOIN US AND BE ALONE TOGETHER" Rey and Ben feel a bit lonely on singles awareness day. What could go wrong?

caught in a decaying orbit by Anonymous for redbells

Rey was the conquering hero. Kylo Ren was in a cell and the Resistance was victorious, but it left her wanting.

Mission Possible by Anonymous for reinasolo

Ben Solo, CIA Agent and all around "bad ass" gets an assignment that really should have been a breeze, but a scavenger, a general, a commander, and a trooper ensure it will be anything but easy.

Teaching Miss Niima by Anonymous for Reneemm

Kylo Ren was free. He gave his lectures, graded assignments, and generally kept to himself. He wanted peace and quiet. As much peace and quiet teaching could offer him, at least.He got what he wanted.Then she appeared.Rey Niima was everything he ever desired in a woman, all save for one tiny, insignificant detail. He was her Professor. Moral and ethical quandaries aside, he wanted her.

New Year's Eve with a Girl named Rey by Anonymous for reylocalligraphy

It's New Year's Eve in the bustling city of New York and Kyle plans to spend it alone at work. That is, until he meets a girl named Rey.

lashes by Anonymous for ReyloTrashCompactor

He told her that she should leave it, that she didn’t need to come here. Maybe he was right, but it hadn’t seemed so at the time. No. No, at the time, it had been of the most vital importance that she come here. That she see what had happened here, learn the truth of it for herself, shape it with her own mind and hand and actions. “I know what doing penance looks like,” he’d said in the aftermath. “This won’t help.”

Banana Nut Muffins by Anonymous for Rhizaria

Ben's radio show is all over the place and Rey can't help but call in to comment.

Death Becomes Her by Anonymous for Rhonda3Green

He watches the trickling liquid as it slides down the space between her breasts, fast then slow, along the dip of her belly. It hovers above the fullness of her mons, the single drop refracting the light and green of the canopy above, and all he can think about is how much he wants to capture it on his tongue. To lick the hot salt of her skin, and lose himself in that bright, earthy scent as he breathes her in. He is Death. And she is his.

This Dance of Light, This Sacred Blessing by Anonymous for rissanox

Snapshots in a modern AU.

a flicker in the dark by Anonymous for roamingbadger

Their bond was still there. He could feel it like a flicker of flame at the end of flayed string, still trying to hold on. The burn kept his skin warm. He refused to let it die out.

Game On! (aka Deflowering Doctor Jackass) by Anonymous for SaintHeretical

When Rey is stranded at her bookshop in the middle of an upstate NY snowstorm with a local professor she knows only as "Doctor Jackass", she decides the best way to pass the time is to play a game. And that, of course, leads to other activities.

slip, slip, knit by Anonymous for sciosophia

Honestly, this was not one of her greatest ideas but Rey will make it work.

Serendipity by Anonymous for second_chances

When she had decided to start shepherding the Adept, Rey had made a vow to herself to help them all—even those imprisoned by their own internal darkness. Camouflaged with the cuff, Kylo would never know that Hux’s war dog was closing in on him until it was too late. That was one death she didn’t want weighing down on her conscience. She’d had the opportunity twice to kill him, but she was still convinced his life was not hers to take. The Force still had a plan for Ben Solo, that she was certain, and securing his safety was just as important and making sure the little girl she sought made it off world and survived as well.

The Mistake of the Mailman by Anonymous for shewhospeakswiththunder

Rey's on-campus university address is 'Box 324 Mulberry St, The Bryant Center.' Ben Solo's address is '324 Mulberry St.' And she keeps getting this poor guy's mail.

all flowers in time bend towards the sun by Anonymous for SithishJedi

After months without contact, the force bond opens but something is wrong.

your love could be too much by Anonymous for six4au

Rey, the successful host of the award-winning confessional podcast The Best Policy sits down with a new guest, world famous actor Ben Solo. Except these two are already well acquainted. They broke each other's hearts seven years ago.

The Golden Age by Anonymous for sokki09

Hollywood, 1953. After the press catches wind of yet another crashed car and yet another drunken night on the town, actor Ben Solo has to face facts: his bad-boy image is in need of a serious fix. Pairing him off with a wholesome, up-and-coming actress girlfriend seems like it might just do the trick. They can walk red carpets together, sell the whole relationship thing. And he can get his career back on track. Which is what he wants. Isn't it? Rey Jackson is nothing that he expects, and everything he finds himself wanting. But she's on her way up, a star in the making, and he's... self-destructive, on a good day. Weary of the business, and tired of being who he is. What they have is fake; there's no illusions that it's more than what it is. But what else is the magic of cinema for, if not to allow yourself the chance to dream? OR: here, have a a Golden Age of Hollywood Reylo fake dating AU!

and the snow started falling by Anonymous for SpaceAusten

Oh, that secret that you know / that you don't know how to tell... Trapped by shame and snow, Kylo Ren faces his ghosts.

All At Once by Anonymous for SpaceWaffleHouseTM

The First Order has taken over the planet Neftali in the Soccoro system. Every year, the town of Cordel Cove hosts a winter carnival that culminates in a masquerade ball. The presence of one Supreme Leader has been requested.The Resistance has come to Neftali to strike a deal with a shady organization, using the carnival as a distraction. They send Rey to the masquerade to keep an eye on things. After one too many drinks, the masked man all in black catches her eye and asks for a dance. But what will happen when the masks come off?

I Choose You by Anonymous for spookykingdomstarlight

In the throne room, Rey proposes a counter offer.

Heart of Clay by Anonymous for starlightreader

Rey discovers a very interesting recipe in one of the tomes she's stolen from Luke. While she experiments, Kylo Ren disappears mysteriously.

pianissimo by Anonymous for TheStolenQuill

Rey is a wonderful pianist who just was hired as a court musician. She's nervous enough with her new position, but then she gets entangled with the royal family, especially one Prince Ben.

Magic Rises by Anonymous for thewayofthetrashcompactor

Rey finds lost things. It’s what she does, and what she’s always been able to do. Magical artifacts, prized jewellery, a blue ribbon giant pumpkin, you name it, she can find it. When Leia Organa of House Organa-Solo asks her to find Luke Skywalker, Rey’s sure that Kylo Ren moving in next door isn’t a coincidence. She’s going to have to use all the magic in her arsenal to figure out what’s going on.

Plan B by Anonymous for Tiara_of_Sapphires

Tiara_of_Sapphires asked for "Senator!Rey and Jedi!Ben AU where Rey gets kidnapped for ransom," with some banter and awkward, socially stunted Ben Solo, as well as some good hand-holding and/or forehead kissing action. Hopefully this is lighthearted enough to at least give everyone a bit of a smile. That said, it is unbeta'd, so if it doesn't, that's no one's fault but mine.

Blue Moon Lovers by Anonymous for tigbit

Rey lives a simple life, working at her coffee shop--Resistance. Then her life takes a turn when she meets her neighbor, Leia Organa, and she discovers a past life that is connected to her own. Not to mention that the enigmatic Ben Solo twists her mind and emotions in different directions. Rey will come to learn that sometimes the mistakes of the past can affect the present, and that some are destined to be soulmates.

Somewhere in the Dark by Anonymous for tm2taughtmefamlaw

The world is not as it once was, and bands of survivors struggle to live in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse. Rey has found a life with Leia’s band of scavengers. Despite the gloomy landscape, it’s a far less tragic and far more boring life than The Walking Dead led her to believe. She’d choose a waning stockpile of toilet paper over Ben Solo any day.

hit me with your best shot for tmwillson3

"So Rey decides to torture him in her own, unique way. She won’t let him ignore her." In which Rey and Ben are rival Quidditch players recruited to play for England in the World Cup.

(I close my eyes and fly out of my mind) Into the Fire by Anonymous for TourmalineGreen

“Alright, SHUT IT!” Rey hollered. “This was important to Leia. We will ALL be participating. Trust requires interaction, right? That’s what we tell our clients, and it’s what we believe, so get over yourselves! You can retreat to your echo chambers next weekend. This week, we are working hand-in-hand with First Order. If it kills us.” OR Scenes from the careers of two people who hope to change the world, one neighborhood at a time. What stands between them again? Oh, right - nothing but pride (and possibly prejudice). Thank heavens someone sees what’s going on.

Crisis Girlfriend by Anonymous for walkingsaladshooter

Ben was in love with Rey for over a year when he asked her to go with him to his ex’s wedding as his ‘girlfriend’.

Be careful what you wish for by Anonymous for Zabeta

Rey has spent her life wanting to get off Jakku, and see the universe. She thought she would eventually earn enough to barter or buy her way off-planet. But the universe has other plans.

#reylo #reylo fanfiction anthology #after the blazing fire dies #rffa writers #mod post #moodboard #master post

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babbushka · 5 years ago

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just read the anon about you going to school for film! is your career centered around that or do you find it hard to find jobs in that kind of field??? i want to go to school for film or cinematography or acting but i HATE making huge decisions and taking risks and i would probably just live in a dumpster for the rest of my life if i couldnt work doing what i love and participate in Capitalism(tm). ): cant wait to see you on the red carpet and watch your films!!!!

Hello! Currently I have the luxury of not needing to work so that I can have time to pitch and continue chugging away on my writing, but there are tons of jobs in the field.

I think that something that’s really important to remember, especially with film or television, is that you are not going to get the job you want right away. Unless you know someone and they like you a lot and are willing to take a chance on you like I have been very fortunate to have, you’re going to have to start out small and really work your way up the ladder. But! That’s not to say that you can’t ever get there!

To be totally honest with you, going to film school both for my undergrad and my masters degree was the best decision I could have made -- not because I learned a ton in class (I mean I did but lol) but because I was able to meet sooooooo many people and work on a ton of projects.

I don’t think you have to go to film school by any means, but I do think that if you want to be in the industry, you have to know people in the industry, and you have to work on a lot of projects in order to familiarize yourself with that world, no matter what capacity; if it’s cinematography or acting or editing or producing, etc.

So if that means going to film school, then do it!! If that means just scouring different casting websites or facebook pages, do it! If that means calling and asking if anyone needs a PA, do it! Don’t think that you’re limited to like, CalArts or something, because you’re not. But by that same token, don’t think that just because you get into CalArts means you now don’t have to put in the work.

I went the university route because I wanted to be qualified to teach one day, and I wanted to be exposed to as many different kinds of filmmaking and people as possible, and I wanted the opportunity to mess up as many times as I needed to. Because when you’re in school is the safest time to fuck up and make mistakes -- the real world isn’t so forgiving. And I believe I got all of that and more.

Honestly, at the end of the day, my advice to you is to sit down with yourself and ask, “is this a risk worth taking?” because if you love film, genuinely and truly love it, then the answer will be yes, and you can figure out what route you want to take to get there. Not everything is as simple as “go to school, graduate, get a million-dollar job.” But it can be as simple as “surround yourself with the people you need to, in the space that will help you learn and grow.”

I hope this helped at all, thank you so much for your kind words, I hope to make everyone proud :)

#Anonymous #cowboy answers

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chemtrailertrash-blog · 5 years ago

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But what about cam girls

But what about cam girls that don’t use studios? I decided to interview a cam girl name Ona Artist who is essentially a camming celebrity—she has 1.3 million followers on Instagram—to find out what that life is like. Turns out, it’s even more work.Domino might not be something so dramatic as that, but she's certainly smart, replies to my questions without the slightest hesitation, and oozes the confidence of a professional from any field. She just pays her bills with a dildo now.What I found out was a self discovery as much as a way of sticking it to my friend. It was something I had always known, deep down, but perhaps had never quite put words to, as I had never felt that it had come into question. And here it is: When I am working, I am portraying a sexual stereotype, but how I am using that stereotype is a point of difference. When I am working, I am consciously becoming that stereotype and so I, in a sense, own it. I am taking it from the man, because yes, he created it, but when I dance, I have the power. I am subverting and I am reclaiming that stereotype for my own personal and financial gain."That or exotic places," says Andrea. "This is not only a sex business as some people think - models have to speak with a member as if they are in a normal, online relationship. Being able to discuss many subjects brings comfort to both parties.

Andra Chirnogeanu, Studio 20's PR Manager, also rejects the idea that this is risky or psychologically damaging work.Youd think that all an Insta celeb has to do is look hot, but its actually a full time job. Ona Artist posts new photos every day and does a week of photoshoots every month. She manages all her social media and built her own website. The way her business model works is that she advertises on Instagram and from there, people can go to her private site and cam with her naked. On Instagram, because of censorship restrictions, you cant see her nude. So, the more you want from her, the more you pay, and the more explicit it gets. It's just like any other online business, really.Eventually they came. My chat room began to fill up and I started talking to a few guys in the group chat. I only typed at first: At the time I lived in a sharehouse with only guys my age and really wasn’t interested in them finding out about my moonlit habits.It is illegal in Romania for a man and woman to webcam together, but it is impossible to say how commonly the law is flouted in the way Oana describes. She went on to work as a prostitute in Germany, until she found the courage to return to Bucharest and a new life. Now she works in sex work prevention - talking to young women about her experiences, and trying to persuade them of the danger of video chat.

"Mostly it's conversation. I do role-play sometimes, and a small part of it is nudity and masturbation," she says.It took six years to reach this life of dilettantism and occasional sex work. Anna wasn't always free. She started camming when she moved from her backwater Romanian hometown to attend college in Bucharest for a degree in psychology. When she relocated, she knew no one and had no money. But, like Domino, heard things about the lucrative streaming flesh trade — a recommendation from a male friend who convinced her to strip from his cramped two-room apartment as he did the same in the other room.Are there any really common requests that you get?She's got camming down to a science. "It's all about saying to people they are sweet," she smiles. All a man needs is attention, when he wants it, and he'll be Anna's until the tokens run dry. Regulars will sit in her room for hours, pouring money away — these are the lonely ones, Anna says. "They want to hear that they're loved... that they're sweet... that they're kind... that's how you keep them coming back. It might sound mercenary, but these guys are getting exactly what they're paying for. Only a man in the deepest bog of delusion truly believes the cam love is real — if you're spending hundreds of dollars for a companion on your computer monitor, you have to be willing to suspend disbelief. Plenty are willing — particularly Americans, who for whatever reasons (Anna chalks it up to a sort of cultural shamelessness), are more "generous" than Europeans, and more likely to buy into the act — and pay for the privilege of watching something interactive. CONTINUED BELOW...

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nsyongjin-blog · 6 years ago

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helloo ! i’m kay and super duper excited to be here ! a quick summary, i’m 19, go by she/her pronouns and reside in the gmt+3 timezone ~ you should def add me on dis.cord @ kay#5119 and if you prefer tw.tter, my handle is @ icarvsfell ! i’m going to be roleplaying as this loud mess CHAE YONGJIN, who specializes in executive operations & asset recruitment. you can find his bio HERE, and some connection ideas under the cut before i make a proper page. before i ramble abt him under the cut, i’d love to plot so so much, so pls hit me up and of course, if you give the like button a clickity click ♡, i’ll be the one to jump into your ims ! i truly can’t wait (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

— his dad is a nis agent, and yongjin’s conception is completely an accident. his mother dies at childbirth and his dad is suddenly responsible for the baby. not wanting to let go of his job and future, he gives yongjin to her sister, an eccentric aunt who is a writer and stays at home for the most time.

— yongjin grows up really spoiled. he is the sole attention of his aunt who loves him and dotes on him 24/7. he does gymnastics, fencing — anything he wants, he gets. he grows up as a very mischievous and energetic child, and studies hard until he gets into a good university as a communications major. him & his aunt celebrate together, smiles on their faces.

— his father only comes by every few months, and yongjin has no idea what the man does, and knows very little about his mother. it all combines and he blows up one day, demanding answers and getting none. it infuriates him and he closes himself in his room and ignores everyone for a day.

— and then, everything takes a bad turn. when he’s out grocery shopping with his aunt, a masked man opens fire towards them, and they both get shot. yongjin doesn’t remember getting shot himself, but he remembers his aunt dying in his arms and then opening his eyes in an hospital with his dad on his bedside. the man is solemn, keeping something from him that yongjin has no idea what.

— his dad also disappears soon after that and yongjin fights through university because he promised his aunt that he would get his degree. he has no idea what he will do afterwards, still surrounded by immense grief. a couple of days before the graduation, one of his professors give him a pamphlet about nis training programs, and it suddenly gives him a purpose. a goal to help others suddenly becomes a solution to everything, and yongjin signs up immediately.

— training is challenging to say the least, but his background in sports help out with the physical part of training. the rest is more challenging, but yongjin gets through, and decides to specialize in asset training & executive operations.

— personality wise: he is very loud, talkative, loves to have fun and spend time with friends. he can be (read: is) a handful, and doesn’t have a proper filter in situations he probably should. because he doesn’t have any family members he is in contact with, he puts extra care into friendships and would do absolutely everything for them. other than that, teamwork is tricky because while he puts the mission at the forefront, if there is someone he’s annoyed with, yongjin will be purposely difficult with them. very stubborn if he wants to be, there are times he pokes his nose in situations he shouldn’t.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

— - PLOT IDEAS !

— old friends, anyone from seoul around that time tbh! we can def build on this. — college friends, he majored in communications at seoul national university, so it would be interesting — trained together, aprox. ten to seven and a half years ago — partner in crime, someone yongjin got along with really well, and maybe still does? they are amazing at missions together on the field, good Pals, and someone yongjin trusts a lot to cover his back on the field. — mission gone wrong, a lot of room for things to go wrong, maybe they both witnessed something awful, or maybe because they don’t get along well, they messed something up on the field. — mentee for his mentorship, he could have trained ur junior agent muse maybe!

— - RELATIONSHIP IDEAS !

— best friends — friends — fwbs — one night stands — co-workers — annoyances — enemies — messy relationships

— - SENTENCE IDEAS !

— “don’t give me that look! it wasn’t my fault!” — “do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?” — “what about a compromise? i’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, i’ll apologize.” — “i saw that. you just checked me out.” — “it’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.” — “you think i’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?” — “there’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. i suggest an orgy to save our friendships.” — “all nighter, you and me. first one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.” — “is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” — “keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.” — “i recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision i have elected to ignore it” — “it must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” — “to the night you’ll never remember!” — “you have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. not that that’s going to stop us, but at least i’ll have all the facts.” — “your clothes. get rid of them. they’re hideous.” — “do you have a cat too? let’s do a playdate for ours.”

this is very rambly but i think this is it for now !!!! i would LOVE to establish connections and plots, so hit me up or like i said above, hit that LIKE button and i will slide into your dms ! cant wait to get started ♡

#nisintro #《 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 ╰—- ooc. 》

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