#like... ofc that's sad I feel sad for her
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in the quiet of us - choi seungcheol imagine
tbh this fic came about while listening to milk teeth and did you like her in the morning by niki 🥺 dare i say i'm getting better with the angst haha ofc it's gonna end in a cute way
anywayss i hope you like this one🤍
for my other svt fics, check them here
if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)
You and Seungcheol have been dating for nearly a year, and on the surface, the two of you seem to be an ideal couple—you’re the shy, introspective type, while he’s outgoing, expressive, and always the center of attention.
Your love for Seungcheol is quiet. It’s gentle, steady, and sometimes, you feel like it’s almost too quiet to be enough for someone like him. You have always loved him in a subtle, understated way, hoping that your affection is enough without needing to shout about it. Seungcheol, on the other hand, is the type who wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s affectionate, always complimenting you and showing his love in grand, showy gestures.
He never shies away from declaring his feelings to the world.
You will never tell him your reasons for holding back when the truth is you love him with every piece of yourself. You’re terrified that your calm, reserved nature won’t compare to the passion and intensity of his past relationships. You about his ex-girlfriend, the one he once spoke of like she was his soul mate. Cheol has always been open about his past, and while he never directly compares you to her, you can’t help but feel like there are times you’re falling short of the vibrant, adventurous, free-spirited image of the girl who’s still a part of his memories.
You and Seungcheol are sitting together on the couch, having just returned from a weekend getaway. You’re quiet, lost in thought.
"That trip was amazing, huh? I love how we just got to be spontaneous and go wherever we felt like." Cheol says while looking through the photos of your quick weekend getaway with some of his friends, you watch the big smile on his face
"Yeah... it was nice." softly you say, Cheol being the mind reader he is, immediately looks at you when he hears your voice
Leaning closer to you he asks, "You don’t sound convinced. What’s on your mind?"
“I’ve been thinking a lot about... us, actually."
Cheol felt his heart skip a beat, and not in a good way. There’s so many breakup scenes that start off with those same words
"Us? What about us?" he asks
"I know you’ve had past relationships. I know you loved… you loved her. And I... I don’t know, Seungcheol. I can’t help but feel like... maybe my way of loving you isn’t enough."
Your sudden confession makes him sit straight up, wondering where all of this is coming from, "What do you mean? Of course, it’s enough. You love me in your own way—"
"But it’s so quiet. I’m not like the others. I’m not as... exciting or loud or memorable. I don’t do the big, dramatic gestures like they did. I’m just... me." you cut him off
You see hurt flash across his eyes, wishing you never said anything. You should’ve just said nothing. To avoid his stare, you look down at your hands that were resting on your lap
"You’re not being fair to yourself. You’re everything I want, just the way you are." he whispers, feeling more sad and disappointed that you think that way about yourself when you’re quite literally everything to him.
Softly, almost to yourself you say "I’m just scared that you’re going to wake up one day and realize that I’m nothing like the girls you’ve loved before. That you’ll want... someone more. Someone who loves you in a bigger, louder way."
He looks at you, a thousand things running through his mind.
"Look at me." he tells you but you don’t move from where you’re sitting
"I just... I don’t know if I can keep pretending that everything’s fine when I feel so... small in your love."
Gently turning your chin to face him, he smiles at you
"You don’t have to pretend with me. Not ever."
"But what if I’m not what you need? What if you want someone who—"
Cutting you off gently, he speaks again "I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I love you, the way you love me, and it’s more than enough. You don’t need to be like anyone else, because there’s no one like you. You love me in a way that’s so quiet, so steady—it’s the kind of love I’ve always needed, even if I didn’t realize it until now."
You can’t stop the tears falling down on your cheeks, Cheol does that for you. He wipes them away one by one, with each one he says a vow in his mind to never let anything or anyone even himself make you cry in this lifetime.
"But... I don’t know how to love any other way. I’m not like you. I can’t... do all the big things you do for me." you whimper
"You don’t need to. I don’t need grand gestures. I don’t need loud. I need you, exactly as you are." he shakes his head, holding your face between his hands
He waits for you to say anything else but you don’t. You just embrace him, letting yourself fall apart infront of the only man who knows how to fix it all. And he lets you be. He lets you cry in his arms until you fall asleep, he lets you let go of what you’re feeling. Whispering words of assurance and affirmation, letting you know you’re not alone.
You’ll never feel alone as long as you have him.
The next morning, after a long conversation, you and Seungcheol are sitting in the kitchen together. He already made breakfast for the two of you.
You look at him, still feeling a bit unsure but more at ease.
“So... you’re okay with the way I love you? Even if it’s not loud?" you’re the first one to speak
Softly smiling, he takes your hand "Your love is exactly what I’ve always needed. You love me with a softness, a patience, and I’m so grateful for it. I love how you take the time to listen to me, to show you care in the quietest ways. You don’t have to change who you are for me. I want you."
This makes you smile, little by little your worries disappear. You know it’s going to take some time before you feel okay, it’s a war between you and mind and yet here’s Cheol ready to fight that battle with you.
"I’ve always loved you like that. I just didn’t think it would ever be enough." you whisper
He walks over to your side, leaning in and kissing your forehead) "It’s more than enough. You’re more than enough. Always have been." he tells you
Later that day, Seungcheol left to get some errands done. When he comes back, he surprises you with a small gesture—no grand gesture, just a simple note with a favorite flower from the garden.
"Seungcheol, this is... really sweet." you smile up at him
Leaning against the doorframe, looking at you with affection "I know it’s not a big, loud thing, but I hope it says what I’ve been trying to tell you: I love you exactly as you are. In your quiet, beautiful way."
"I love you, too. In my own way." chucking softly, you shoot him a smile. Walking towards where he was, you throw your arms around him. His arms immediately wraps around you,
"And I’ll never want anything else."
#fic#story#fanfic#svt#seventeen#svt cheol#svt scoups#svt imagine#svt fluff#svt angst#svt au#svt scenario#svt boyfriend#svt x readers#seventeen imagine#seventeen scenario#seventeen boyfriend#seungcheol imagine#seungcheol scenario#choi seungcheol#seungcheol x reader#seventeen seungcheol
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like we are on our nine billionth positivity post for cis men with beards and masculine trans men and feminine lesbians and bi people in m/f relationships and nb people who are comfortable passing as their agab etc.... do we need more? is straight people not being able to tell you're gay/trans really the biggest issue facing lgbt people right now?
there seems to be this undiminishable reservoir of care and sympathy for the very idea of having ur queerness slighted in any context. meanwhile people who never get the choice whether or not to hide it are routinely dehumanised, othered, and ignored. if the issues facing these groups do get discussed it's almost never with much concern for their feelings. invalidation and erasure may be one of the issues facing lgbt people and it deserves attention too but I really don't think you can claim at this point that it isn't getting its fair share already.
for what it's worth, even your hypothetical most flaming butch lesbian/fem gay man/androgynous nb person etc still meets people who assume they're cishet, who even actively refuse to acknowledge that they're not. the false equivalence between erasure and overt prejudice alleged exclusively by those who largely experience only the former is in fact erasing the reality of people who experience both
#I'm always thinking abt that one buzfeed article called like queer women share their struggles or smth#one was a butch lesbian talking abt how carefully she has to plan journeys#bc late night toilet stops or seedy motels are life and death for her#then there was a bi woman w a husband n kids#talking abt how one time she had to take her pride flag off her lawn (picket fence implied lol)#like... ofc that's sad I feel sad for her#but the lack of proportion is kind of on the nose lol#I don't have the right words but like something very fetishistic abt the gaze of other lgbt ppl towards 'visibly' lgbt people#and I use those terms loosely bc ppl r visible and invisible in different contexts#but if you've reached the stage of fantasising abt hypothetical microaggressions or straight up hate crimes that could happen to u#then u have gone too far#I just think a lot of the time it's more abt the fact that YOU don't feel 'valid' enough in yourself#ao you convince yourself other lgbt people existing or talking abt our issues is the problem#like if ur a bi girl n having a cishet bf makes u feel so lonely and insecure and 'not gay enough' at what point is that ur responsibility#to either accept urself or to be in relationships that make u feel better about urself#and not my responsibility to say ur having gay sex with jakey or wjayever
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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again
#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally#this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta#she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times#vtm#vtmb#the fledgling#brujah#oc.vince#oc.pepper#ship: viper#sleepyscribble#she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee#she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him#but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust#and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to#and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred#but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid#no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen#she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin#ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it ����🏻#viper art
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Honestly I wonder if anyone’s ever read Chilchuck’s “I cheated on her” admission as an implicit reference to prioritizing alcohol over his marriage and feeling guilty abt it.
Ohh… "I cheated on her" as a half-truth because something ended up taking priority over their marriage, because emotionally he was elsewhere… "I cheated on her" because after having all the time in the world to think about it now that he’s alone, he realizes that that might have been how she felt, and that’s how it felt like to him too.
Love that. I def think he’s ironically someone who deflects guilt a lot, in a similar way that he compulsively goes "You’re wrong! I don’t care about you guys at all! I’m an asshole!" he flees emotions by making the problem something else that’s fake, a burden easier to bear, he’s so used to being seen for what he’s not after all. I went into it a bit in one of my fics and in a couple meta posts, but when it comes to his wife he was very much like an ostrich with his head in the sand, seeing her fall into a bad mood on the outing before she left him but dismissing it as something "sudden" that’s not worth thinking deeper about. Overdrinking is a problem for future Chil. I think he did a lot of "You want me to drink less and you’re afraid for my health? Get over it lol" and "I should be less strict with the girls and raise my voice less? My father was a strict drunk and look at me, I turned out functional and great! The girls are literally fine and love me" and "Oh? My drinking is affecting our family? No it’s not smh smh get off my back"< Drunk a significant portion of the time he spends at home since he’s off-work and somewhere he can relax. Type of guy to always dismiss any issues that might exists because he prefers ignoring them as if they’ll go away. All his problem solving energy is spent during work and the issue is with his family he already likes things as they are, they’re his comfort zone and change is scary, he doesn’t want the change, even if it’d be better. He doesn’t want to change, his unhealthy habits are guilty pleasures he wishes people didn’t try to make him feel guilty for
BUT POINT IS he struggles with guilt and like. Letting it be a feeling that he gets sometimes, so it’s all bottled up and festers and gets twisted into frustration or such like how his worry usually does. I like this take, wether it’s something he’s already thought a lot about or it’s something he’s repressed that came suddenly pouring out of him like blood out of a wound, now that he’s putting it into words with someone for maybe the first time.
It’s interesting how he didn’t refuse going up to the bicorn, I’m sure part of him wanted to see if it would like him, like the virtue test it is. Would a monster that loves despicable men be magnetized to him? Would it confirm his fears?
#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meta#ask#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Bicorn episode early season 2 guys let’s GOOOOOOO#I do think he feels sleazy. Like even as he enjoys pretty women as eyecandy he feels pangs of guilt and sadness and longing for his ex wife#The “SHUT UP DON’T bring her up now!!” during succubus is smth I interpret in that way.#Either to not ruin the moment or bc of raging guilt that his succubus isn’t her gdbd. But also can u blame a guy the mere memory#of her brings up a lot of bitterness and emotional turmoil and aughh he feels like he’s failed his life and he’s a fuck up and aughh#fumi rambles#He’s someone who just wants to feel good dammit. He’s so stressed he just wants to relax. He just wants to feel like his family isn’t flawe#He doesn’t have the energy to put into fixing it. He doesn’t know if he could handle it. And ofc all of this is happening on a subconscious#level. Bc emotional repression is his middle name#He needs to work to provide for his family but for their relationships and emotional needs he needs to work less.#There’s no winning. There never is for half-foots in this world#Union man trying to balance career and family and failing </3#Chilchuck’s family#Chilchuck’s wife#ok i need to shut up on this i could go forever
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come on
please tell me
#link leads to the music used in malks 5th story - alone by dan farley#art#malkuth#lc malkuth#malkuth lobcorp#lobotomy corporation#lobotomy corporation spoilers#made this at like 2-3 am in a fit of 'god i love malkuths story and dialogue so much'#i could go on forever and ever but here ill talk about how much i love her expressions. they way the cognition filter has her with that#constant cheery look#when shes not smiling it looks odd#and in her 5th story cutscene the music really hammers in the feeling of like. loneliness. of the facade fading away or crumbling#'come on; please tell me. so i can feel rewarded; just a bit.'#this final moment when her smile fades hits the hardest of all for me#knowing it doesnt come back beyond that (ofc until post meltdown)#the just... desolation. desperation? it feels so alone. calling out into the void#the entire time it feels so profoundly sad honestly#but this makes it feel hollow. when malkuth truly feels/looks entirely hollow#though here i may have drawn it less empty more like. expectant#i hope it still gets that across - the feeling of hollowness#again i could go on about malkuth forever. my favorite sephirah i love her so much
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i wonder if, in another world where sukuna had said yes and yuuji did take blobkuna back with him, they would watch movies together.
sukuna criticizes all of them and seems to be into only the mindless slasher or horror ones (the gorier the better) but one day yuuji puts on something more serious. sukuna complains the whole time as he sits in yuuji's cupped hands, but then the brat stops arguing with him suddenly and goes quiet during the sad part of the film.
it's not the film that moves sukuna. he didn't even bother to pay attention enough to really know what's going on. but for some reason, when yuuji starts crying, hot tears that drip right down on sukuna, the former king of curses can't look away and he doesn't realize until much later that his own eye is wet as well.
he denies it. he makes fun of yuuji for crying. maybe he even licks yuuji's tears off his wrist just to be gross and rile him up. but he can't stop thinking about how close he felt to yuuji in that one moment, almost like they were sharing bodies again, and maybe he would like to go back to living inside of yuuji. if only to make him cry instead of the movie doing it. or maybe he just likes feeling yuuji's emotions. maybe being inside of yuuji is the closest he can come to feeling those emotions for himself. because maybe it's not such a weakness after all.
#i usually don't cry when i watch movies but lately i've been tearing up and almost choking when something sad happens in them#and it reminded me of that one chainsaw man chapter where makima takes denji out to watch movies with her#and they cry together during one of them#that stuck with me for some reason#because ofc i make everything about them#anyways tonight's movie made me extra sad so i wrote this stupid idea to sort of cheer myself up but now i feel even more messy ;-;#also i think sukuna would get really into movies#but not at first#mostly he just mocks them all#and it makes yuuji mad that sometimes he laughs along with sukuna's insulting commentaries#but over time they start making fun of movies together and even bicker about it like an old couple#honey posts#jujutsu kaisen#sukuita#headcanon
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I’m just a ten cent copy
Of people far more advanced than me
#Stej#spark the electric jester#spark the electric jester spoilers#float#Clarity#flint#spark#art tag#Float is so so much 2 think about. Even before she died there was still this acknowledgement of like.#She does not know who she was before she just knows she was discarded and literally buried alive and everything just gets worse for her :(#character who deserves some kind of resolution the most I think/#I can’t fully wrap my mind around how Clarity’s replica works (ignoring what was said about her and Astra#solely being extensions of clarity bc I think that kind of sucks and doesn't fully make sense 2 me anyway)#like she is not the original ofc and float was already dead before assimilation but she is still clearly enough of a copy#that she has her feelings and (assumedly) resembles her formie body from before she was experimented on#Something even she didn’t remember‚ & I'm just curious how exactly clarity made her so faithfully 2 float and how much she has that#same kind of cognition and emotional independence that Astra did‚ even if she is only trying to achieve clarity’s goals.#I know WHY float was used 2 trick spark into reaching the Fark force the point was that shes just. Still so real and it’s so sad#The original float is gone but she is still here and she still remembers her life and feelings it’s soo fucked up#The only autonomy she has ever had over herself was when she and flint met each other. She just has been used so much even after death!!#I don’t want to make assumptions about something that isn’t out but like. If floats just gone now after doing so much to reintroduce her as#an agent of clarity I think it would be such a disservice 2 her Character like how interesting could it be to have float but she is not the#same as float she has this girls face and memories but she has been so fractured and manipulated that like. Who could she be now#that clarity isn't in control and she no longer has a purpose. if she ever got to reunite with flint would he be willing to trust her?#Would she want to reconnect with these emotions and memories that she knows she’s been programmed from? How would it feel to know#that everyone else has this idea of you and a history that for you technically isn’t real but it still FEELS real. AUGH#Anyway. segmented like a bug get it#ask to tag#Taphophobia#Blood
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So after four months, Bell's Hells are off the moon
0.5/5 Stars - Some of the locals were nice but activities were shit and needs new management.
But what's this? Aabria with a steel chair!? She's probably cackling looking at the socials right now
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr3 spoilers#cr spoilers#cr3#cr3e92#bell's hells#bells hells#crown keepers#aabria iyengar#glad they got to go off on Liliana though she needed to be told what for#drop them all at the key why don't you though? Not exactly helpful#four months for us but it was like a weekend trip for them - a terrible not fun at all weekend trip#the swap was extremely unexpected yes but we did want to see Dorian#but honestly Lolth what the shit? Are all the betrayer gods scheming? Aren't we all on the same side with Predathos?#to be fair I was dreading more bitter angst so I'm glad the Hells are comforting one another#but as an Ashton fan I wanted more of how they're feeling than the usual 'Imogen Laudna and Orym are sad' stuff#they lost their best friend after all - let Taliesin use his wordsmithery#nothing against the three but they do carry a lot of the narrative because of how intertwined their emotional states are with the plot#and ofc as a shipper I wanted Fearne and Ashton to comfort one another but hopefully next episode#but Orym's sending was tragic the lil guy needs Dorian right now so we better not kill him#big drider fear vision though no thank you no más non merci instant transmission outta there#we're either killing or writing off Opal for Deni$e it feels but poor Aimee is on her lonesome up there#if you see this hi Aabria! Unlikely but still hi Aabria!
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longfic is like the once-favored, now wrongfully scorned daughter of an aging, deranged monarch that is fandom
#you know#will she ever return to us? will we ever welcome her back into our arms?#i say this mostly as a joke#but i am sorta poking at the fact that longfic no longer does nearly as well as it used to#i feel like back in the day 🚬#longfic was hailed in fandom spaces as ‘the best’ form#and people were often thrilled to find good longfic#and the shorter stuff wasn’t as popular…perhaps weren’t seen as ‘serious’?#which i don’t agree with ofc#however i do think that dynamic has switched in some way#like our attention spans time and energy are so shot now#that we prefer smaller forms of content#which is totally fine in some ways!!#however#it is a lil sad now to pour a lot of heart and love into a longfic#and have it do really REALLY poorly.#or like sad that we don’t have the attention spans time and energy to both write or read longer works#cielo rambles!
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ok i do need to ask, do we like KNOW know that some egg admins have been playing as other silly npcs during this downtime or are we speculating. like i've seen people identifying admins with varying strength of basis since the eggs first existed but like. for a while there anytime an npc spoke portuguese everyone thought it was richas and then occasionally it would be agent 18 lmao so. . . are we doing that now or do we like Know lmfao
oh and to be clear i do mean varying strength; people were apparently spotting a leo admin's speech patterns earlier and since leo has such a distinct pattern (tho i'm not fluent in spanish LMAO) i'm inclined to believe that. but yea for a while people seemed to think portuguese=richas and to be fair there weren't many non-english npcs for a WHILE and really no portuguese besides richas (that we knew of) but it does mean i'm a bit more skeptical now when the audience starts trying to clock npc admins lmfao
#qsmp#this is not neg this is just me not being on y'all's same wavelength for the millionth time#sometimes i feel like i'm not cut out to be in a minecraft fandom lmfao#which is wild bc i started my fandom journey as one. maybe that's why lmao mcyt fan spaces are way different than 2012#anyway i'm apparently super bad with minecraft admin body language bc i never spot it#philza minecraft spotting his kids were Imposters from a mile away blew my fucking mind#bonus shoutout to etoiles who clocked dapper as a code fighting him#and who also had to clock his imposter daughter lol rip the legend#shut up vic#block game brainrot#oh and when phil clocked that bobby was filling in for tallulah tho that one was kinda obvious (lag)#i'm pretty sure fit has also clocked an admin filling in for ramon but i don't remember when or who#definitely pre-purgatory though#ah and when the eggs were missing and pierre clocked pomme and then used her ninho pearl lmao#while she was snipybara#that time roier laid on the ground and played sad music when a different admin filled in for bobby#and ofc cellbit noticing elisangela(iirc) was richas and teasing them#me when the parents can spot their kids a mile away: 🥰
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No you don't understand, Anne and Marcy third-wheeling Sasha during the dinner episode (and Sasha third-wheeling herself during battle of the bands) is so important to me. Anne and Marcy have come so far having left Sasha behind. They're happy and confident and strong and closer than ever, all because they were finally free. Because Sasha wasn't there to stunt their growth. Despite how much they love Sasha and how much they don't want to admit the distance helped them, it's true: Anne and Marcy were both victims of a toxic friend and they're learning to move on together. Ik it sounds like I hate Sasha because whenever I write about her I make her out to be a massive piece of shit but that's because... she kinda was! And I love her for that! I love these three, I love their story and their drama and toxicity (I was soooo happy when it was revealed Marcy wasn't as great as she initially seemed like - yes! The CONFLICT is CONFLICTING). Like yes marcanne is my obsession, I have marcanne brain worms, but I think one of the reasons marcanne works so well is because of Sasha. Their past, present and future with her have such a huge impact in Anne and Marcy's relationship with each other and with themselves. You can't separate these three and I love it, how easy it is to ship two of them without making it weird by leaving the third one behind (ironically, Sasha the Character is included by leaving Sasha the Person behind).
Marcanne to me is about two childhood friends living in a toxic situation healing together after leaving, only able to fall in love now that they are free and more comfortable with themselves and each other. They couldn't fully connect with each other before - not really. Anne didn't see the importance of listening to what Marcy had to say nor did she take it too seriously, and Marcy was simply not in contact with real people in the real world at all. None of this was Sasha's fault entirely, but she did third-wheel Marcy and she was possesive with Anne and was just a generally terrible influence on her, while reminding Marcy that, well, she didn't really matter all that much to anyone. Removing Sasha from the equation is not enough but it's a necessary step towards knowing each other better and the fact that they so easily became closer than ever just shows their eagerness to be together for real this time. Marcy's increased confidence and Anne's newfound empathy and admiration for her friend wouldn't have been possible with Sasha's domineering influence present. If they were to fall in love, it'd be because Sasha wasn't there to stop it.
I imagine that, once she finds out, she'd be furious, but mostly just devastated. Her friends only found love once she was gone. As if they think they'll be better off without her.
#amphibia#marcanne#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#sasha waybright#marcanne meta#my posts#i saw a lil drawing one time. it was anne and sasha kinda swordfighting#and anne was protecting marcy like holding her in one arm while pointing her sword at sasha w the other one#but it was like a sketch and in a screenshot alongside like 6 other drawings without links or credit or anything#but from the context of the post I thinkkkkkkk it may have been a doodle made by someone who worked in amphibia??#if that's the case I'd love to know. because i'd love to draw it#idk if I feel comfortable stealing some other fan's fanart idea tbh#but that tiny pixelated little thing was so adorable! i can't get the image out of my head#the CONCEPT of Anne defending Marcy from Sasha! a whole swordfight right there!#only believable if marcy is like injured or something ofc because she'd just try to like intervene to keep the peace. or escape. or try to#immobilize sasha peacefully#but if she's half-conscious or injured or something#(NOT inconscious because i want her to see the fight happen 👀)#oooooh boyy#anne choosing marcy over sasha! sasha realizing they REALLY are more important to each other than she is to either of them! marcy realizing#theres no hope for their friendship because sasha never wanted what was best for all of them and didnt really want her and anne to be happy#i needed a real marcy-sasha confrontation so bad i was so sad we didn't get one 😭 mostly I want marcy to realize sasha was horrible to her#maybe she's in denial maybe she's holding back tears repeating over and over again that sasha is their friend while anne softly tries to#talk to her. to make her see both she and sasha treated her like she was nothing. to make her understand she didn't deserve that#until marcy finally breaks and begins to cry ;-;#i have a whole fanfic in my head you do not understand
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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Coucillor Clarette... 2024 Keeper Sexywoman... yippe
#ngl i completely forgot about her#like i scheduled them all out. and completely forgot about clarette#so I'm putting her on the 12th and being done with it. pernille will be the 13th ofc cos that's where i scheduled her#kinda sad I'm just shoehorning her in but her top is uglay so I don't feel too bad#i can make her so much better#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc fanart#kotlc clarette#councillor clarette#keeper of the lost cities fanart#ladles poll-traits#oralie and dex are who I'm really excited abt cos I'm so proud of them
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i also find it very funny how people think laura actually cared about james at all when his name is only mentioned 4 times in the secret diary and they all occur in the same paragraph in which she's mentioning lying to dr. jacoby *scratches head* ... meanwhile here's just a few of the times she mentions bobby
like idk you tell me who she was actually in love with
#she basically says multiple times that when she finally gets rid of BOB she wants to actually work things out with bobby - that she's saving#him and his love for when the 'REAL' laura comes back#god.......... their relationship makes me so fucking sad LMAO#people who don't get laura truly just need to read the book like it's such an amazing read and so haunting and sad#just. peak. to me#i truly can't understand how people thought she loved james at all when she knew donna loved him LMAO#like she did not give a SHIT about james and it's very easy to tell from everytime she actually talks about him when he isn't around#their last interaction kinda says everything imo like i don't think she hated him#i do think she treasured him for being like. an escape for her. something unrelated to all the drugs and sex related entanglements#but other than that it's like. she thought he was 'sweet but so dumb' and rolled her eyes when donna said how 'great' he is LMAO#like there's a reason james didn't understand the 'it's happening again' feeling like bobby and donna and cooper did#because they actually have Real Connections with laura. and laura loved them (excluding cooper but they do have a strong connection ofc)#the two loves of laura's life were bobby and donna. that's all i gotta say. bc she mentions donna only slightly more than bobby like. wow#i really think ppl only care about this show bc of cooper sometimes... and i adore cooper too but... c'mon...
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cassie: gregory didn't hurt anybody!
me: oh you poor sweet summer child
#{ i think a lot about the ar mask and how it uses voice clips and stuff and like... }#{ ALL of the gregory voice clips are pathetic and sad. like ''im so scared and alone'' is the most out of character shit }#{ but because of the position cassie is in... ofc she's gonna perceive that he's feeling that way- }#{ -and helpi is going to audio-mix accordingly. }#{ i think the longer that her night goes on it definitely like...uses her brain against her. not INTENTIONALLY- }#{ -but her mind is in such a fragile state that like...everything is going to become warped and scary and remind her of the position- }#{ -she and gregory are in. }#{ i think so bad specifically abt roxy raceway and the cutouts ok dont get me started IVE GONE OFF LONG ENOUGH }#{ MY POINT BEING. cassie has no fucking idea what gregory did in main game and it kinda drives me insane... }#{ what would she do if she knew he was the reason roxy no longer has eyes. }#{ this became long enough to warrant that tag so dfsklfds }#ruin spoilers /#🎬 || it's make believe inside your head. (headcanons.) || 🎬#🎬 || time for bear. (ooc.) || 🎬
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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