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sunsetsover · 5 years ago

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Hey! Im very excited about Bens new storyline. I know a little bit about the deaf community but not nearly enough and I would love to learn more through this storyline. Im just worried that in my excitement I might say something stupid or disrespectful due to my lack of knowlegde. Ive seen you post about that so I was wondering if you could tell me what to look out for and especially some tips on how to learn and understand more. Thank you in advance!❤ I really hope they do the storyline justice

hey!! first of all let me say that i realize that maybe i was a bit TOO defensive the other day so i don’t want you (or anybody else) to think that if anybody fucks up and says something a little off i’m going to completely bite their heads off lmao (although that said i do still stand by everything i’ve said)

also i’ve gotta be honest idk much abt the deaf/hoh community either! i’ve got to learn too!! so if you’re looking for information in that sense i’m unfortunately not the person to come too :-(

however i DO know what it’s like to be disabled and specifically what it’s like to have a disability that affects amd changes your whole life and limits what you can do both now and in the future. i won’t go into details but my disability affects my left leg, which ofc affects my mobility. thankfully i can still walk, but there is no cure or treatment for what i have. there was also nothing that triggered it - no accident or person to blame, it just Happened - and so it was a case of my life seeming normal and then one day it hits you that your life is completely different from everyone else’s and that it’s never gonna be the same, which i imagine may be similar to what ben is going to be going through (whether it’s temporary or not, if he doesn’t KNOW it’s temporary something like that is completely life shattering).

anyways now i’ve realized you Did Not Ask let me get actually answer your questions

literally the most important thing u can do is just listen to disabled people and don’t talk over them!!! this is the case with literally any kind of thing you don’t know abt/experience urself, u know? the way you would listen to and learn from a poc talking abt their unique experiences as a poc, or a muslim talking abt their unique experiences as a muslim etc etc, listen to and learn from disabled (specifically deaf/hoh people, in terms of ben’s sl at least) when they speak!! if they tell u something u said is wrong or a little off, don’t get defensive. just do ur best to listen and learn!!

don’t feel too bad if u do fuck up lmao we all fuck up we’re all learning we’re all trying to be better you can’t possibly know everything, u know?

specifically in terms of ben’s sl, just don’t reduce it down to ‘omg think of the ballum content’. like it’s ok to enjoy the sweet moments this sl might give us obviously lmao but don’t forget that it’s bigger than that, both to ben as a character and in terms of deaf representation !! like !!! a disabled lgbt character!!! that’s a big deal!!!

basically just don’t reduce ben’s suffering to angst porn, u know? bc what u gotta remember is that yeah ok ben isn’t real but he IS a representation of what people have been through and are going through. i’m not deaf or hoh so i won’t be able to relate to that part of it either, but i do know what it’s like to have your life drastically altered bc of a disability and how hard it is to cope with that and accept the way that your life has changed like it’s hard and u get angry and upset and push people away and go into denial and breakdown and think you’re dealing with it only to breakdown again and if ee DO do a good job of it (which judging from last night’s ep i’m hopeful abt!) then they’ll show at least some of that, so just try not to reduce that very real pain and struggle that people experience to ‘omg but callum’s gonna look after him tho’ you know what i mean??

this might be one that’s just a personal opinion tbh but like... just try not to enjoy ben’s suffering too much??? like i know some ppl really revel in angst n i get that but at the end of the day this is a bit TOO real to be like ‘omg i love it when breaks down’ ygm?? like ofc i’m not saying don’t enjoy the storyline for what it is but i know as someone who has been thru very similar suffering i KNOW it’s gonna rub me up the wrong way if i see people ENJOYING seeing ben upset or suffering. idk i feel like im not articulating this very well but i think it goes back into the whole angst porn thing like it’s one thing to like and enjoy the storyline and another to enjoy seeing ben suffering, does that make sense??? like just don’t let what ben will be going thru become angst porn basically

remember that all disabled ppl are different and things that upset/offend me might not upset/offend other ppl and vice versa

also i’m not deaf or hoh so they might have a different opinion on stuff and if so you should always listen to what they say over what i say bc obviously they’ll always know better

try not to worry too much, i’d say that as long as you’re not viewing this sl solely through the lens of ballum or being outright offensive or derogatory towards the sl or ben’s disability bc it’s not what you want or it might affect ben/callum’s relationship then u should be alright?? but the fact that you even took the time to send me this message and ask what to look out for tells me that you’re clearly a conscientious person who’s heart is in the right place which is the most important part so!!! i wouldn’t be too worried if i was u!!

plus my ask is always open if u have any questions!! obviously i can’t answer anything in terms of deafness specifically, but if u have any questions abt disability in a broader sense i’d be happy to answer them for you 💖💖💖

#anon #question

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bigowlenergy · 6 years ago

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Notes on Gender, Ethnicity, and Culture

At the heart of the etoneki conflict/drama is nothing more than culture clash.

Eto may be amazing at studying others and have replicated humanity well enough to be a respected author among humans without anyone finding any clues to her ghoul nature, not even Haise in RE: - but she is still someone who was raised by ghouls. Her base nature is as a ghoul, from the 24th ward specifically. Naturally, there’s going to be some confusion between her and Kaneki, who was raised by humans.

But that leaves the good good question of what those differences should be. Clearly, some should be tiny, but there NEED to be huge misunderstandings bc I live for that kind of drama. Also, it’s a slowburn, so. that’s how it is.

this is long, and tagged for spoilers for a good reason. nothing specific, but if u like being surprised by the plot in ur grapefruit, go no further as of chapter 5

1) Ghouls have ABO while humans do not. Sure, there was a decently long time where Kaneki lived among ghouls, but can u picture early chapter Touka willingly sitting him down and giving the birds and the bees and the grasshoppers and also the spiders Talk? I think not. Maybe Kouma? Itori would. Like, they’d both kill him dead with it, but they would. And knowing the contexts within another culture doesn’t mean that you have assimilated those words/concepts to your own yourself, or that you actually know every single social detail, especially as it applies to others.

...but Eto does. And human gender/sexuality is fairly simple on the whole, except when it isn’t, so she has a leg up on him there.

plus, the way I have the ABO structured, it makes a bit more sense for him to be less aware of it, since his gender, as perceived by ghouls, is the most privileged one. Especially since its associated with deliberate power gain, which he totally played into during the later half of the first TG, so it would be a natural assumption for ghouls to make that he understood that he was acting exactly as his gender is socially expected to. and in a way that would socially cement his powerful omega status.

Tsukiyama would totally say something about it, since with the whole affluent family thing he’d probably be very aware of gender and social dynamics, but anything shuu says can be followed by “and he called me a cabbage in French last week, so okay shuu, whatever poetics ‘omega’ means to u, go ahead, have your fun buddy.” Banjou, who was involved with Rize, would be too worried about offending him or making it embarrassing to say anything. and as a ghoul even lower than shuu, he’d be super conservative about getting up in an omega’s business. It would just be this ambiguous open secret that everyone but Kaneki is totally, painfully aware of. the gasmask trio find this hilarious. Hina is a wee bab whose parent was a doctor for ghouls, so she just accepts her big bro as is.

so there’s eto’s expectations to be basically an underling to someone powerful as a normal, comfortable relationship dynamic, pitted against kaneki’s human-embedded inclination toward monogamy and not something that feels like weird bdsm domination stuff. they each are expecting a certain treatment from one another, and not getting it. eto feels neglected, since he isn’t all in her business and allowing her to settle in the shadow of his power and just ride things out, and kaneki, with only human expectations for sex, gender, and whatever the hell just happened, expects the worst from her as the “““male”““ in the relationship who manipulated him.

the conflict is that neither happens.

all of the power is on his side of the court, but in human terms, it feels like the opposite - vis a vis, human misogyny and all the horrible expectations for a sex and reproduction based marriage system that go along with that.

which is why i’ve inverted all that to make myself feel better :)

2) i kicked knots out bc idk about that business, but there have to be other physical differences. there have to be, or its boring. and then again, since both are hybrids, what should either have?

i’ve decided eto will have all physical differences or a learned equivalent due to ghoul socialization, while kaneki should have none but whatever was forced on him through his kakuhou - ie, pheromone stuff, but nothing more.

ghouls can purr, bc i am weak to that shit. Kaneki is aware of this. it’s just a Thing that they do. he’s read to Hina and she’s fallen asleep purring before and it was adorable. irimi purrs very quietly when she cleans things. uta is a purr machine when he makes masks, and it knocks yomo out unless he’s drunk, then he just purrs like a truck engine from the floor near uta’s desk for three hours. touka hasn’t purred since ayato left

eto purrs when she’s satisfied with her writing flow, which is one of the main reasons she prefers to work alone in her apartment and keep shiono out. otherwise, she doesn’t mind company. she also purrs when happy, like most ghouls. kaneki does not. i can site Haise’s RC scan on this: since he never took damage to the throat, he never had a chance to heal ‘more ghoul’ in that area.

so the exchange of a happy eto, deeply content with their uneasy peace, purring to express such delight, meets a blank wall that doesn’t agree. her social expression of happiness clashes up against kaneki only maybe leaning toward physical affection and being quiet. he can understand that she is happy, and she can understand that he can’t respond in the same way, but the dynamics of their relationship make her doubt her actions and get instinctually afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting someone much more powerful than her who also decides if she is allowed to reproduce with him or not. and stops purring and gets unsettled. kaneki is only confused and maybe she doesn’t like being touched? time to touch less. oh no, she did do Something Wrong and now omega is mad at her!! interpersonal drama escalates on both sides >:3c

ghouls have great night vision. kaneki also does and you know why. youve read the series. full ghouls have tapetum lucidum in both eyes, but eto only has it in her single ghoul eye. her vision is unbalanced in the dark but due to her learning to compensate for the slight reduction in light capture on one side she gets by just fine. it also parallels nicely with arima’s poor eyesight and learning to compensate for it.

ghouls are crepuscular while humans are diurnal, but this doesn’t matter since neither of etoneki know what a sleep schedule is. and the 24th ward doesn’t experience day/night cycles, so they have their own issues with sleeping when safe, do not sleep when not safe.

ghouls tend toward pack structure, but not in a rigid way where there can only be one omega/powerful ghoul per unit. as long as everybody gets along personally, its fine. omega don’t see each other as competition. alpha toss themselves at their feet without prompting. they’re not a scarce resource. alpha don’t even really fight over omega unless completely affected by heat and rut cycles and unable to grasp the concept of maybe next time. but even that is rare, mostly only those who are jealous as a person attempt this. if alpha fight over an omega and one wins, the omega might just kill them for taking away some of their prospects, or might be impressed by the show of strength. or annoyed by it, bc they want weak underlings. depends on the person. (eto is more than a bit possessive, at least for his first heat.)

more on this point as i think of it.

3)�� I haven’t specified kaneki’s personal gender identity for a reason. that reason is that i’m not sure what direction i want to go. this is strictly for maman, not Sugar, which is trans girl Sasako forever. for this piece of feti/sh garbage? whom knows! (I know. and until word of god says otherwise - i’m god - every character is trans.)

but really, there’s options. and i love them all.

A) kaneki was trans all along. hide is best bi bud. aunt was a bitch, but nothing worse than canon since he was closeted at the time, although he doubly prepared to never speak to her again. (true neutral)

B) woke up a ghoul and with new parts. why believe a species change but not a sex change, eh? heightens the early game confusion and search for id as a person whose major ids have changed against his will. (lawful neutral)

C) gradual transformation. like how he came into his strength as a ghoul slowly. read a doujin like this once. was okay. quality art, big titties, 8/10. ngl would read the sequel. (Perhaps I am writing the sequel? aren’t we all just chasing our Brands across the lonely internet, hopping from one computer virus to the next? maybe u die reading hentai, or u live long enough to see urself post to ao3.) (chaotic neutral)

D) heals himself a new set of parts due to intense damage. see the haise RC chart, which has a ton of pathways around the hips/torso area. parallels with cutting eto in half?? (also lawful neutral)

E) started happening as a transformation when eto’s pheromones triggered his heat cycle for the first time. boy would he be pissed at her X2 lmao (lawful evil)

F) transformation during #240 time due to losing all memory and only having instinct to structure his body with, and just enough RC pathways to make a hormone based transformation possible. Chiba would have had a field day, but also would have torn out his horrible bowl cut in confusion. get rekt bud. not even #240 knows wtf goin on (neutral evil)

G) maybe he just wanted a vag! thought about that?? learns he is supposed to be able to manipulate his flesh like his kagune, which he is canonically great at, and just Goes For It. it works. he is a strong, dependent idiot who don’t need no dick. (iconic)

H) same as above, but that’s just what Haise does when he has the reigns. looks deep into his pastless self and asks ‘do i have to put up with this cis nonsense? not today.’ (chaotic iconic)

I) it happens suddenly when he activates his kakuja for the first time. queer the monster transformation u wish to see in the world. just. so confused. but also there’s Guilt to be felt about banjou and amon and such, so that’s back burner. (chaotic evil)

okay, so in like fifteen minutes i was able to name 9 perfect opportunities for ishida to carry though the motif of 1)iding with female ghouls 2)paralleling with canon trans man mutsuki 3)litcherally having a female ghoul organ donation fiasco 4)being associated with vacillating between masculine yang and feminine yin black/white 5)having a narrative that revolved around accepting his body and learning to find his own strength and id that is different than what he was born with - but coward ishida stopped sixty miles short of the mark. fool. I Cannot Feast Upon Crumbs, Sir. Sir, You Have Given Me Airplane Peanuts For Supper. Sir, I Am Starving And Antagonistic At Best.

(i shouldn’t call him a coward. three huge series magically having the same Wife And Kids ending all during the time shinzou abe is in office? probably not a coincidence. hope they got a good payout for it. i’d sell out for that $$$ too tbh)

eto is just an alpha. her human social id is a Normal Human Female Who Is Totally Cis and Straight for maximum social acceptance and ease of integration, but that’s only her mask. her personal id is an alpha, which is cis by ghoul standards, and she uses she/her pronouns bc she feels like it. she has the power to id as above alpha, but she enjoys the social invisibility it gives her, since she can blend in the background whereever and noone looks at her presumably weak ass twice. like chie, but for nefarious purposes.

....does that make her the equivalent of a ghoul feminist? i’m getting Too Deep

4) the wards can be isolated and far apart, and its been explored in canon with the Three Blades family and the white suites - congrats u 2 - and ghoul organizations that have a home ward having distinct cultural differences from one another. small ethnic groups and isolated diaspora? natives? subset?? of whatever the 24th ward ghouls - sorry, tokyo humans - are.

this sort of thing is only tangentially related to kaneki. if someone with a texas accent teaches someone to speak english, that person will have that accent, whether they’v ever been to texas or not. so he has some of the social mannerisms of a 20th ward ghoul, but generally still has a lot of ingrained human attributes to confuse them.

5) i’m still fascinated by the half finished thought about there are just some ghouls who become binge eaters in canon. like Rize wasn’t special for it. I think shinohara mentioned this?? but. it makes sense. general food insecurity, lack of permanent social support, total oppression, absurd power levels, plenty of humans to take it out on...ye.

and kaneki has the kakuhou of an adult binge eater. there’s cool hints of the kakuhou being parasitic, so a mature one would def fall into the biological fulfillment of binge eating for strength and carry that genetic knowledge into a new host. and from there, it would induce cravings, serotonin reward systems, and all that good stuff to get what its come to like.... like, mayhaps, a cordycepts? ;)

well, i’ve put ‘binge eater’ down as just a general omega trait, since it feels authentic to do so, so we’ll see what i do with this in the future. i will also see, since i too am ignorant of my own self. what will my horny subconscious do next? i am usually the last to know.

anyway,

peace

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oldmyths · 6 years ago

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i never judge ppl for holding grudges for a long time. like, when someone hurts u imo its ur business how you feel about it and u dont owe anyone anything, u dont have to forgive them or try to be the “bigger person” by forcing urself to have a civil discussion w them. i find that line of reasoning pretty bullshit anyway? it’s all situational and depends on the circumstances of course but i don’t think anyone should try to dictate how somebody responds to mistreatment or abuse

in my case i feel extremely petty for still thinking about this and like i can’t let things go bc this has been eating at me for the better part of like five or six years, and for six and a half years i’ve been shifting from repressing it to accepting that i can’t change anything about it to letting go and forgetting about it for a few days if i’m lucky. or, at its worse, i let it wear down my thoughts over and over until i’m jst making the same points and going in circles around myself

my coming out experience was a disaster and it made me fear my parents but worst of all i only came out bc my partner at the time made me. i felt like i was given an ultimatum, and i was being accused of putting it off because i didn’t want to see them in person, because i was ashamed of them, because i didn’t actually love them, etc. i didn’t come out cos i wanted to share a part of myself with my parents but bc if i didn’t then my partner would be upset with me

and it’s taken me. this long to realize that. it’s taken me six years to really see the power imbalance in that relationship (my first relationship) and it’s taken me i think like, four or four and a half years after breaking up with the same person again (after they hurt me again) to realize that even if i had the means to lay down my boundaries they would most likely guilt me over how needy they are and how abusive they are bc they’re more than capable of giving me space but it feels like i don’t care about them bc i’m not kissing their ass from the moment i wake up to the second i fall asleep

i don’t want to call them abusive bc it’s. really fuckin complicated. but both times we tried to be together it didn’t work out and i felt like shit because i felt like i failed them. so it wasn’t exactly fuckin healthy either.

i guess what i need most of all is closure that i know i’m never gonna get bc i’d rather pluck out my teeth with my fingers than interact with them again and i need to move on from this without repressing my feelings or letting my guilt and anger suffocate me. most of all i just want to stop thinking about this

#long post yeehaw boys #tw for abuse maybe (?)

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dragonofyang · 6 years ago

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why r u called dragon or yang if ur white? not trying to be aggressive but like if those r names u chose for urself u might wanna check that white privilege

I appreciate that you’re not trying to be aggressive, but I think you and I need to have a frank conversation about the assumptions made in this ask and nature of the question you are asking me.

My response is under the cut (sorry mobile peeps, I have a lot to say)

I think the biggest thing I have to address before I get into the history and semantics of my url is that first and foremost, I am not 100% white, anon. I’m white-passing, so I understand the confusion, especially since I’ve only recently taken to using my own face as my icon instead of art. I don’t fault you for that, since cameras historically have been machinated to function and read pale skin better and the lighting I have in my icon and the header image of my blog when you view it from the dashboard helps wash my skin out. Color and light theory work against showing my skin tone a lot of times, so unless I’m in direct sunlight wearing things that bring the color balance of a photo to black, I’ll look white, especially if it’s been a while since I’ve gotten any substantial sunlight. That said, I do experience a very conditional privilege as a white-passing person, but my passing is entirely dependent on how I as a person am read by other people. I have had everything from “hey you’re exotic [because of your race]” to “oh hello fellow person of my ethnicity” and been racially profiled by the police despite having security clearance at my place of work. Somewhere there’s two photos of me with my mom’s and dad’s sides of the family respectively and I’m either the darkest child in that photo or the lightest one. That holds true even now as a young adult, I’m almost always whiter than any Latinx people I know and at least have more saturated color in my skin than any white people I know. That’s all IRL, though. Online, I can easily just state my ethnicity if I choose to and people accept it, because the internet is a great equalizer in terms of first impressions. It’s not my skin or my voice or how my eyes are too light to belong to a Latina girl, it’s the words I use and I am judged by my character rather than the race somebody thinks I am. That said, this is the first time somebody’s assumed my ethnicity online, which is why I’m taking the time to reply to this the way that I am, anon, because I feel this could be a beneficial experience to you and to other mixed people out there who face the same questions and accusations and assumptions as I do. I am too white and too dark, I am commodified as exotic and therefore sexy to some, I’m “one of the good ones”, I have been asked if I wear color contacts (I don’t, but that’s a surprise to far too many people), I have a running list on countries/ethnicities people have guessed because they think they can pin down exactly where I am from (spoiler, I was born in the USA). Fundamentally, I am not white, but I can seem like it. I can be as affable as a proper Midwest-raised girl can be, but that doesn’t change that when people say “all the Mexicans should go back where they came from” they are speaking about me as well. They just don’t realize it. It’s not their fault that they don’t know my ethnicity, just as it’s not yours, but it doesn’t change the fact that assumptions can breed danger for me, because now if I don’t act correctly, I could become a target for racially-fueled vitriol or sexual harassment. Again, it’s not inherently your fault for assuming that you knew my ethnicity, but I strongly recommend you do not do this in the future to me or anybody in your life. If there is someone in your life who does not mind answering such questions, then speak with them, and my inbox/IM is always open to discuss things off anon if you have further questions.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to address your primary question: “why r u dragon or yang”. I’m guessing that you meant to type “of” instead of “or”, but just in case you meant “or” that’s what this paragraph is going to address. Dragons are not culturally or ethnically closed mythical beasts the way that the Native American Thunderbird is or how Hinduism is a closed religion. Dragons and other great serpents have existed as a concept pretty much everywhere humans have, and I have a very close spiritual tie to dragons and commune with them whenever I partake in my witchcraft.

That said, “dragonofyang” is a username I’ve used for the past 10-ish years, originally stemming from when I joined DeviantART at the age of 13. I’ve since deactivated the account since I hadn’t touched it in over five years, but when I joined, I was taking my first forays into paganism and was absolutely blown away by the gods, the concept of the five elements, spells, how the yin and yang symbolized balance and how it wasn’t just a religious concept but a way of life. On that site I took my first forays into Wicca and spoke with many witches, all of whom encouraged me to explore my spirituality and taught me many things about safety in practice, stealthing to avoid judgment by closed-minded religious folks, and how enriching it is to have a personal or working relationship with a pantheon or single deity/spirit guide. If I’m being perfectly honest, it’s also a remnant of my edgy phase because I really wanted the username “DragonofDarkness” but that as you can guess was taken already, but in my research to find something that described my new phase in life I got very deep into the symbolism of yin and yang, at least as deep as a 13-year-old with limited internet knowledge could get. Yang is the bright, it’s the bold, it’s the daytime and it harbors a bit of cold, of dark, of nighttime within it, but that makes it richer. Ever since I was little I’ve always been fascinated by magic, and this was a new take on how the world worked that my little kid mind was just blown away. Naturally, being a bit of an edgelord, I misunderstood it as a principle and focused on how deep and dark I really was underneath, ya know, typical 3edgy5me shit, but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to accept that yeah there’s some shit in my life that hurt me or was bad, it doesn’t overshadow the good and I’ve stopped trying to be an asshole because that’s actually not as cool or deep as people try to make it. I look at my username and I see how I’ve grown as a person, from somebody who doesn’t understand the concept of balance very well or where my spiritual journey would take me and I look at myself now as somebody who’s made but a few steps further in the road to life. I look at my username and remember that yang means the sun, the light and that without the yin, growth would not have happened.

My username also has some ties to my current spiritual practice, though less overt, because my patron deity is the dragon god Quetzalcoatl. Dragons in Mexico represent the sun, and jaguars represent the night, and in my practice, both dragons and jaguars have made themselves apparent to me, and in a sense they balance each other out in a way similar to the yin-yang symbol. I felt the call to Quetzalcoatl about six years ago now and I have much to learn from him still, but he’s continued to teach me about balance, in the day and night, in the human and the animal, in the violent and the peaceful. I’ve come a long way from being some edgy 13-year-old kid, thankfully, but I know my journey isn’t over.

That being said, if my username is offensive and a misuse of a Taoist symbol (such as if it’s a closed religion and use of its symbols when you aren’t initiated is offensive), I’d like to speak with Taoists directly and learn how and why so that I might not offend in the future, especially since I’m unsure if Dao jiao/Dao jia are closed a religion/philosophy. But it’s also been my online name for 10 years now and I’d have to change it on many platforms in order to fully rescind my offense, and if possible I’d like that sort of change to be as unobtrusive as possible because many people know me primarily or exclusively by this username. So unless I come to a point personally where I feel my username no longer suits me, or my ignorance addressed by those more educated than I, I will be keeping it. I am not the most educated person on the internet, and my resources are sometimes limited in terms of educating myself properly, so if there is something I am to learn then I request that I be taught. I am always willing to learn and better myself as a person.

#dragon's ramblings #religion #racism #long post #paganism #spirituality #witchcraft

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sarohara · 4 years ago

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You both like friends.

Stranger: M

You: Heyo

You: sup

Stranger: Sup

You: what's ur name?

Stranger: Troy u

You: Hey Troy

You: Im Sarah

Stranger: Cool

You: yea

You: wyd now?

Stranger: Nothing u

You: I'm listening to a such amazing song rn and those moments I stop and i use to think " it was worth it to be alive to listen to this incredible masterpiece"...

Stranger: Coool

You: Ooh ahah

You: Im sorry, im a types one

Stranger: How old ru

You: Im 16, wbu?

Stranger: 17

Stranger: I'm guessing ur bored?

You: Yea for sure

You: Everyone's bored on omegle bro

Stranger: Lmao fr

Stranger: U tryna play t or d

You: well, sounds good

Stranger: T or d

You: T

Stranger: Where are u from?

You: Im from Brazil

You: t or d?

Stranger: Cool

Stranger: T

You: Where r u from? ahahahah

Stranger: I'm from the US

Stranger: T or d

You: oh gotcha

You: T

Stranger: Do u have a bf

You: intriguing question ahahha

You: Yea, kinda

Stranger: Wdym kinda?

You: Kinda is kinda

You: T or d?

Stranger: T

You: r u looking for someone over here? that's the worst way to get, trust me ahaha

Stranger: Nah I'm just curious lol

You: Oh okaaay

Stranger: T or d

You: T

Stranger: Explain how u kinda have a bf

Stranger: Bc last time I checked he either is or isnt

You: AHAHAHA well, we don't nothing like certain yet but we have each other u know..so it's someone that i care about and it's reciprocal

Stranger: So ur waiting for him to ask u out or something

You: Hell no ahaha we just can't be together rn for some reasons..

Stranger: Religion or age

You: What

You: No religion...

Stranger: Reasons for not being together

You: Ohhhh

You: Nooo, none of this

Stranger: Then why not just date him?

Stranger: If u think he's really urs just take it

You: Yea, ikr but he moved to another state so we cant compromise u know...

You: I mean, we can't rn

You: It's complicated

Stranger: Oof those types are hard

Stranger: Cuz u never know if he's talking to another girl

You: Nah nah it's just bc there's nothing certain in our lifes so we don't wanna to hurt our feelings..idk

You: want to*

Stranger: Yea so u like him that much

Stranger: Why is he so different from other guys

You: idk he's basically my soulmate aahaha

Stranger: Uh oh

Stranger: Ur building feelings for him

Stranger: And it's only one sided

You: Wdym one sided?

Stranger: How do u know he's feeling the same thing?

You: and im not building, im learning to deal with them

You: Because he told me

Stranger: And he's also 16?

You: Because i also know him. we're like best friends.

You: No he's 17

Stranger: Do u know who u sound like?

You: Pls tell me

Stranger: Like me lol

You: ahhahahaha what

You: How?

Stranger: Just switch the gender

You: Oh damn, really?

You: ahhaha that's sad right

Stranger: Yea

You: Tell me more.

Stranger: I used to love her thought she was my soulmate

Stranger: Then the next thing u know she's with another guy

You: Oh damn, why...?

Stranger: Idk cuz if we lived to far from each other

Stranger: It*

You: Oh gotcha

You: Life sucks right?

Stranger: Lesson is never be in a relationship or like someone more than the other person

You: It's not true

Stranger: Cuz it hurts no like u never felt before when they are gone

You: Oh man, i feel u.

Stranger: Sure

Stranger: How many relationship have you been in

You: Only 2

You: wbu?

Stranger: 7 and I'm done lol

You: Uuuu what

You: Wth ahahhaha

You: How is it possible?

Stranger: It's a same dumbass story

Stranger: I just keep believing it will different

You: Man, I don't fall in love with people that fast.. ahahahhaha

Stranger: Oh it's people I've known for years

Stranger: The least for me is 1 yrs to even talk to her

You: Ooooh

You: Since ur 10 then

You: ahah jk

Stranger: Nah this started when I was 13

You: Oh wow, my first one i was 13 as well

Stranger: First one hurts the most

You: Ummm, i don't think so..i mean, in my case.. but i agree..when u love that person that much

You: I'm friends with my first one until today so

Stranger: U sound like u know what it getting into

You: I would say sometimes

Stranger: Just remember people will accept the love they think they deserve

You: Oh I've watched this movie ahaha

Stranger: Keep ur standards high cuz if a guy doesn't meet it there is always one that will

Stranger: Its lowkey true tho

Stranger: Make him treat u like a princess always

You: Aw, that was like cute...

You: And ur right.

Stranger: But on ur side never take home for granted

Stranger: Him*

You: Never. neither him or anyone else.

Stranger: That's good

Stranger: The guy must be lucky to have u

You: Oh, U should tell him then ahah

You: jk jk

Stranger: It's not everyday u meet someone nice and knows a value of a real woman

You: Oh, i really appreciate that

You: Ur really nice as well

You: I hope u know that :)

Stranger: Someday I wish I met someone like u

Stranger: There gotta be more than of u out of 7 billion

You: Aw, u'll find someone even better than me, trust me.

Stranger: Haha sounds like heaven

You: Oh ahahaha im feeling so flattered rn

Stranger: But keep working o urself too

Stranger: On*

You: Yea, always

Stranger: Bc u are flattering lol

You: ahahahah

Stranger: So ur really not from Brazil or are u?

You: Actually i am. ahahha

You: Im 100% brazilian ahah

Stranger: Oh wow does Brazilians have Instagram

You: Ahahahhaha brazilians usually have instagram, yea

Stranger: Cool so what's urs

You: ahahah nice way to ask hug

You: huh*

You: @sarahcvlm

You: what's urs?

Stranger: I'll hit u up and you'll see who I am

Stranger: Nice meeting u tho

You: ahahahahahaha funny

Stranger: Keep working hard and always keep ur head up no matter what

Stranger: 💯💯

You: hey, just asking.. r u leaving?

Stranger: Oh I was about to

You: just hold up

Stranger: For what?

You: imma follow u

You: what's urs?

Stranger: I actually dont have insta yet due to strict parents

Stranger: But I find u if ur relationship dont work out

You: Oh that's so sad :(

You: Oh ahahahahah

You: Okay, i guess

Stranger: Were young

Stranger: U believe in stars?

You: Yea

You: why?

Stranger: Then if we look at the same star we will meet each other in real life

You: Oh my god, made my day.

Stranger: Or make a wish whenever u see a falling star lol

Stranger: Nice meeting u Sarah

You: Nice meeting u as well, ur such a good person. take care :)

Stranger: And my real name is Tyrone dont tell anyone

Stranger: It's a secret...

You: AHAHAH i wont, don't worry lol

Stranger has disconnected.

0 notes

saveme-ruinme · 7 years ago

Text

Boyfriend Minhyuk

A/N: this was requested so long ago omg im so sorry that this took me this long! But i did it! I hope u like it!

Highkey fuckin annoying

Dramatic™

Bothers you allllllllll the time

Sometimes to be cute sometimes just to piss u off

Depends on how bored he is and how mischevious hes feeling

Always texting and callin u

Doesnt matter if hes got nothing to say he just wants to know what ur up to even if ur not doing anything

Sends u hella selfies and expects hella selfies back

Doesnt care if ur sitting on the toilet just show him a pic of ur face

Hates being ignored but will ignore u if u piss him off

Which hardly ever happens tbh bc hes super chill and easy going so it takes a lot to piss him off

He really only gets mildly annoyed with u but doesnt go much further than that

Mostly bc u back off when he does that stare where hes trying not to look annoyed but he u and sticks his tongue in his cheek

Thats when u know u better chill before he gets super upset

Tells u he loves u in the most cheesy way he can think of bc he likes the way u get all flustered when ur embarrassed

Tells u while doing aegyo or greasing up to u or singing it to u while down on one knee and holding ur hand out in public so everyone can see

And ur like omfg minhyuk can u chill i get it u love me

Wont stop embarrassing u until u also proclaim ur love for him

Then will try and make out with u on the spot

AFFECTIONATE always playing with ur hair or pinching ur cheeks and telling u how cute and pretty u are

Like what he does to the other members mostly jooheon tho

LIKE THAT ONE GIF WHERE HES RUNNING HIS FINGERS THROUGH JOOHEONS HAIR AND CALLING HIM PRETTY

Theres a reason why all the other members go to him to be cheered up hes rly fuckin good at it

Hes described as the mood maker in the group and its the same with ur relationship

Minhyuk is such a bright and cheerful person that its so easy to get consumed by it

Its honestly so refreshing especially if ur like me and spend the whole day in a sorta dull haze

Having Minhyuk around is that feeling right after u finished spring cleaning and u get to sit down and enjoy ur clean house and relax with a cup of tea or something

Always happy and energetic and it rubs off on u so ur always smiling around him

Sometimes it does get a little overwhelming but hes so good at reading ur emotions that when he sees that its becoming too much for u he will calm down immediately

Hes hella extroverted too so hes always gonna wanna go out for dates

Like lets go out to the amusement park! Or the zoo! Or the aquarium! Lets go somewhere!

And ur like ……..minhyuk pls its 9am can we eat first

Then minhyuks like oh yes food! Oh where should we go? Oh lets go to this cafe! It has dogs!

Everything is an adventure with him he always makes the most mundane things exciting and fun idk how he does it but im jealous

Said he likes chubby girls so hes gonna always wanna get food tbh

Asking u if u have eaten when he sees u

Offering to buy u food all the time even if u have eaten

He just wants to make sure ur eating well doesnt care if u gain weight

If u complain about ur weight hes gonna give u a detailed analysis on why ur beautiful plus make a whole album dedicated to u accepting ur body the way it is and ending it with food and making sure ur eating well

Into alllllllll the pda

Kisses u

holds ur hand

hugs u

does everything

Minhyuk had absolutely no shame he will grab ur ass in public he does not care

Especially if someone is eyeing u up then he will literally grab and squeeze an entire handful of ur ass while making eye contact with that person like thats right bitch this is mine dont even think about it

The jealous type

Like hes a scorpio even if he seems chill with everything he will get jealous

And he gets petty when hes jealous bc hes a snake

Like i said he will shamelessly grope u in front of whoever just to prove a point

Will probably apologise later if it makes u uncomfortable and will try and not let it get to him but yeah probs not

Once whoever was makin eyes at u is gone hes back to normal

And ur just like bitch pick a mood goddamn ur giving me whiplash

Likes it when u baby him

Bc hes a big baby and just wants to cuddles and kissed

Gets whiny when u baby him to the point where u roll ur eyes

But ur not gonna stop babying him bc hes cute when hes like that even if it is exasperating

Dont tell him tho bc then he will never stop acting like that and it will get real old real fast

Sings to u!!!

Whenever u ask and even when u dont he will sing to u

Like full on serenades u sometimes and makes a whole show out of it and makes u laugh

The two of u have stupid little debates over everything if ur very opinionated like him

Not in a mean way its always just minor disagreements that sometimes get too loud

It why the rest of monsta x doesnt like hanging out with the two of u lmao

Well that and minhyuk is all over u all the time

Probably a sadist honestly

Minhyuk is chaotic neutral on a good day but when hes in a mood hes in a mood

Obviously hes gonna get the okay from u and set boundaries and stuff bc at the end of the day ur well being is the most important

But man once he does he jumps in head first

Teases u til u start crying and just smirks at u mocking ur tears

Like when he eats u out he will only use the tip of his tongue or just play with ur pussy

Enough to stimulate u but not enough to get u off

Degradation is his shit he loves to demean u if ur okay with it Its such a stark contrast from how loving he is during the day that u sometimes wonder how hes the same person

Makes u choke on his cock bc its fun watching u gag and seeing ur eyes water as i struggle to swallow his entire length down ur throat

The type to dabble into all sorts of weird shit if ur cool with it

Honestly its such a turn on when he turns into a snake and decides that he doesnt give a fuck about anyone but himself

No? Just me? Cool alright but he takes that approach with sex

Not all that rough tbh just very meticulous in how hes going to wreck u

He will u tease u to tears then use u to get off and be like alright that was fun goodnight and leave u high and dry

Ur not allowed to get urself off either sorry u gotta wait for when minhyuk wants u to cum good luck

When he does tho he goes in

Its borders on overstimulation bc he will make u cum seven times in one night if hes left u hanging for like two weeks

Will probably just keep going til u pass out

Bright side is the next morning u wake up feeling refreshed and minhyuk is there to take care of u in the soft loving way

ANYWAY MINHYUK IS SO SOFT AND LOVING BUT ALSO A LITTLE SHIT WHO LIKES TO MAKE U SQUIRM

BUT HE LOVES U AND WANTS THE BEST FOR U ALWAYS

SOMETIMES HES LIKE THE SUN BUT THATS OKAY BC U NEED THAT TO SURVIVE

APPRECIATE MINHYUK AND STAN MONSTA X

79 notes · View notes

pokefanbri · 4 years ago

Text

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom ��

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

0 notes

franeridart · 7 years ago

Note

Opinion on serobaku and serokiri?

SeroBaku kills me in the sweetest way and SeroKiri brings me back to life when I feel dead inside and SeroBakuKiri is like heaven on earth tbh I love those ships they make me feel warm !!!

Anon said:Yes but i loved minas hair like that??? So either ur hair is also p good or ur art is just that great n I’m %99 sure that it’s both, also r u ever planning to post a picture of urself?? ? I’m sorry if this question makes u uncomfortable, have a nice day!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you!!!!! And pictures aren’t really my thing so that’s probably not gonna happen, but I assure you you’re not missing anything by not seeing me, anon hahaha

Anon said:Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! ilu

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ヽ(o♡o)/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Anon said:Imagine Bakugo drawing pictures of his squad without them noticing. Like Kiri looking out a window or mina and Denki trying their best to study or sero scrolling on his phone. I wonder how they would react to finding his sketch book

I’m sobbing this is so nice ;A; Sero and Kaminari’s reaction would probably be along the lines of “how is this guy good at everything” haha I like the headcanon of Mina drawing too so her reaction would be a bit different, probably, but still very very awed

meanwhile Kiri is on the ground dying

(Kiri is me)

Anon said:Lately I’ve just like…. Noticed but all your art is such high quality and honestly it looks so so good. You have such a lovely style and it’s so original and distinctive and I’m love it and you so much. Plus!!! sometimes I’ll just look through your art tag and even though I think it all looks great I can tell you’ve improved a lot, and, idk, you inspire me to work on my own art constantly and thank you!! I hope you have a lovely day!!

Oh my god this ask slayed me ???????? thank you so much ;A; jesus this was so damn nice I dunno how to react at all !!!!!!!!!!!! I hope your own art is coming along great, anon!!!! I’m glad my doodles can make you want to have fun with it too!!!!!

Anon said: i absolutely adore your art style ! it’s so unique and fascinating and pretty i die

Welp thanks to this ask I die too so it’s two of us anon o m f g (thank uuuuu)

Anon said:Ahhhh the dorm life comics honestly made me smile so much I love them the way you portray all the characters is always so nice and asfhdjd your art is my favorite AND listening to you ramble in the tags honestly makes my day better I love it 10/10 bless

This is it, they day Fran honest to god dies, cause of death: yall being way too sweet for me to take holy s m o k e s ( ;A;)

Anon said:Do you think the UA teachers hang out like the kids do in the dorms?

YESSSSSSSS Aizawa and Mic are high school friends so I’m pretty sure it’s canon they waste time together, Blood King and Dog Hound are canon pals too so they also most probs chill together too! Blood King is also the same age as Aizawa and Mic so they probs used to go to school together too!!! And with Dog Hound being 32, Midnight being 31 and Cementoss and Thirteen being 28 they’re more or less all the same age, so I like to think they spend free time together~ some scenes with the teachers make me think they’re good pals with the older ones too, it’s a really fun group of people to be honest!

Anon said:I wonder what Kiri would do if Bakugou had the flu…Or what they would do if they stepped on Legos XD It’s a funny thought. I love your art so much, you’re my favorite Bakushima artist!!

Anon said: Omg your art gives me life. I was just wondering what happens when the bakusquad get a sick? Thank you

Thank you to both of you!!!! And I could give you both my take on this, but would I be able to make it better than BnHA SMASH did? Probably not, that thing’s so hilarious t b h hahaha

Anon said:OMG IS JIROU PLAYING UKULELE?! I PLAY UKULELE!!! OMG

Yes she is!!!!! I like to think Jirou’s got at least basic knowledge for how to play any instrument ever, so when she’s laying around in the common room once she got used to her friends listening to her play she’d bring with herself the smaller and easier ones to carry! An ukulele has a super nice sound and is small enough to bring around the dorms haha

Anon said:fran!! hi!! Ur comics actually make my life 50% better everytime i see them so thanks for cheering me up everytime you post!! They’re amazing and so is everything u do!! (Love ur art style btw)…. So besides all the compliments, i have a question!! What’s your opinion on AU’s where bakugou is deaf? Would u ever draw something related to it?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I think I already answered this question? At some point? But I can’t find it, so in general my take is that I highly doubt Bakugou’s body isn’t built to withstand and not take damage from his own quirk (since his hands are made to hold up with it, I feel like the rest of his body is tailored around his quirk too), but I’m always up for disabled characters and the idea of Bakugou signing is beautiful to me, so I don’t mind the AU one bit! Dunno if I’ll ever draw for it tho, drawing jsl when I don’t know it is hard. I know that from experience.

That said, I do find the fics in which Bakugou becomes deaf because of his quirk a bit hard to believe most of the times? Because in all of them his ears are the only things taking damage for the continuous use of his quirk and I just sit here like, his eyes should be taking damage too. Normal eyes aren’t made to withstand explosions and stun grenades every day all day, so if his ears aren’t biologically made to hold against his quirk his eyes shouldn’t be either.

Like, I read those fics and I find them real hard to believe because the authors aren’t pushing it hard enough, for me it’s either no damage at all or hoh AND visually impaired Bakugou, boy can’t be only half built to withstand his quirk that’d just be silly haha but that’s probably just me, the AU is Good 👍

Anon said:The Mirio eyes on that last pannel. Everyone needs Mirio eyes. (also don’t even try to convince anyone Kiri doesn’t steal Baku’s sweaters too)

He started doing so once he found himself with no hoodies left - he isn’t the type to just steal people’s clothes, I think, but if Bakugou started doing so first he’d probably find it acceptable to consider all their hoodies fair game hahaha

Anon said:Oh my god I absolutely adore your art so much. Every time you post something I get so excited! Your art is honestly so cute and it never ever fails to cheer me up. If I ever need inspiration or motivation to draw something especially cute, I come to your blog and look through your posts. Your fluffy art makes my heart clench and makes me grin like crazy. I just… I have so many feels about your art. It just makes me so very happy!

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood thank you!!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so happy my stuff can make you inspired to draw ;A; aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! this made me so happy holy he ck ;u;

Anon said:Hey… thanks for all the stuff you do. It’s really great and I just wanted you to know that. Thanks………….❤️

No anon thank you for this ask, oh my g o d ;U; *sob*

Anon said:I don’t know if you readed the fic “communicate with your body” of xx_kuuhaku_xx, but If you haven’t done so, read it please. I think you’d love it

It’s the merman!Kiri one, right? I read it!!! A bit too much smut in it for my tastes, but I did like it a lot!!! ヽ(o♡o)/

Anon said:AHHHHH!!!!!! IM CRYING!!!!! I LOVE YOUR ART SO FUCKING MUCH ITS JUST SO FUCKING GOOD AND THEYRE ALL JUST SO FUCKING CUTE AND FUCK I LOVE ALL OF YOUR KIRISHIMAXBAKUGOU HEADCANONS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR ART AND THIS BLOG SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU A LOT TOO ANON OH MY G O D THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:i just started watching servamp cause i remembered you talked about it before and i like it a lot?? kuro is #relatable and all the voice actors are so good wth

Anon said:OKAY HI FRAN IM THE SAME SERVAMP ANON AND WTF IM CRYIBG SAKUYA AND HYDE MY SONS im so emotional over the last episode it didnt explain anything im gonna have to start the manga now and the movie and specials dont have subtitles yet help me im dying

ANON IF YOU’RE PICKING UP THE MANGA YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO THE START - the anime messed it all up, there’s a lot of missing things since the beginning!!! The anime is beautiful but the manga is 100% better, I hope you’ll enjoy it!!!!! *O* (…once you get caught up with it you’re free to come yell at me, the current arc is killing my soul)

Anon said:Fran!!! Your last comic!!! About Bakugou with a crush!!!! ITS SERIOUSLY SUPER GREAT no really, I usually see Kirishima as the one portrayed with a giant, blush-when-he-texts-me crush, but Bakugou!!! He’s a teenager too are you telling me the whole heart fluttering thing wouldn’t happen to him?? Ofc it would!!!! (He’d be kinda pissed at first, like “what is this weird feeling”, but I don’t think Bakugou would be exactly averse to it, after he realized his feelings??) Anyway TY FOR CRUSHING BLASTY

YOU ARE!!!! WELCOME!!!!!!! I love smitten Kirishima, but the lack of giddily in love Bakugou in this fandom hurts me a bit - love is a happy feeling!!! Mostly so if you can tell it’s probably required!!! And Kirishima’s super obvious about his feelings so Bakugou being able to tell is highly probable!!!!! And Bakugou can be his grumpy self all he wants, but if he’s in love he’s gonna be happy about it when Kirishima’s sweet to him!!!! That’s how I see it, at least hahaha

Honestly tho that’s my favorite sort of love, the one that makes you unable to hold back a smile and makes your stomach flutter and your heart clench in the good way, I want both Bakugou and Kirishima to feel like that about their relationship~

Anon said:On the comic captioned he’s got a crush I literally squealed it was so cute!!

;O; I’m glad you liked it omfg!!!

Anon said:I wanted you to know that your Kiribaku comics give me life and they always brighten my days! I also have a question if you don’t mind… will we see more of the domestic with kids au? Your Kiribaku dads are so adorable it’s kind of ridiculous. Thank you for all the art you share with us!!!

Thank you for liking it, anon!!!! And maybe! If I feel inspired and find ideas for it, why not! I don’t personally deal with kids often so ideas for that AU don’t come easy haha but maybe!

Anon said:You get so many notes on your artwork… do you like actually read any people’s tags on them? Because I know I have had some e m b a r r a s s i n g tags of me yelling with excitement 😂 I hope you don’t ever read those and just face palm at my stupidity. Haha anyway that’s my way of saying I love your stuff and just yell about it a lot.

………………..I do read all tags tho :O so I definitely read yours too, but whatever they were if it was yelling with excitement they made my day, 100% for sure, you’re the type of person I post my art for, anon!!!

Anon said:tfw even tho he looks kinda ridiculous, bakugou still manages to look good with that hair and outfit

Well, I still find it uncomfortable to look at l m a o but yeah he’d look good in nearly anything, he’s just that pretty ( ⌯◞◟⌯)♡

Anon said:Asdffhjllvdrhbhsd jakugou jatsuki I died oml thank you I’m still laughing and Jakugou looks Fabulous™ in your style and I’m so lame ASDFHJKLL HE LOOKS GOOD AND I’M CRYING LAUGHING BLESS

Anon said:i’M crYING JAKGOU JaTSUKI what beautyyyyyy omfg

GLAD I COULD MAKE YOU TWO LAUGH OMFG HAHAHA

Anon said:your art really catches how good Bakugou looks in those jeans (I bet Kiri really appreciates it too)

*sob* thank you !!!!! (and Kiri appreciates Bakugou however he looks 👀👀👀 he’s smitten)

Anon said:Just a stupid anon here to say I love your art and I hope you have a very lovely week! ^^ (no need to reply~)

Of course I need to reply :O you’re being so sweet, anon, thank you!!!!!!!! I hope you’ll have a perfect week too!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello!As a young poly person who found your blog before I had found love and realized I’m poly, I wanted to thank you. Your bokuroteru helped my feel okay with myself as I realized, and although I’m sad to see it end, I’m glad it’s a happy one! I have the “You polyamorous disaster” panel as my computer background!! Thank you! (also your style makes me happy, all bubbly in the heart and all) Yuuji is one of my fav characters and I love this ship as well!! Just.. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ANON you’re the reason why I draw polyamory oh m y g o d I’m!!!!! so happy the comic could help you along!!!! I wish you the best of luck in your romantic life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:FRAN. BAKUGOU and CATS. Omg all of the kitties just love him and he’s like GTFO leave me alone you furry fuckers but they love him and he’s gentle with them and he’s scared to touch them sometimes bc of his explosive sweat makes fire hazards and omg they just attack him and he thinks he’s gonna die bc he loves them too!! Fran, sweetie can you picture this?? Can you picture Kirishima’s reaction?? Like full on red blushy explosion bc omg he’s in love with a dandelion precious ball of rage Fran omg

Oh my god yeah of course I can Bakugou being an animal person is my fave headcanon ever!!!! This is so sweet too!!!!!! Oh my g o ds, thank you so much for this ask aaahhhhhhhh ;A;A;A;A;

Anon said:FRAN. My litERAL WEAKNESS LIKE KRYPTONITE LEVEL WEAKNESS IS BAKU LAUGHING. AND THE SNORTTTT. FFFFFF holy shit did not realize caps lock was on haha. BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. so much!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bakugou laughing is something real special isn’t it, I so hope we’ll see that happen in canon soon!!! (⸝⸝⍢⸝⸝) ෆ

Anon said:Your OCs are so cute!! ❤️❤️❤️

*SCREAMS* THANK!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you ship bak*deku too?

Not romantically nor sexually, no! I only wish them as really really really good friends~

Anon said:Ahh I’m crying because I was the Bakugou laughing anon and I was thinking about his laugh all freaking day too

It’s been four days and I’m still thinking about it so honestly, seriously thank you again, anon!!!

Anon said:Hey, did you see Tanaka in the few latest chapters of HQ? Such a precious lad, look at him go 😍 I swear no one deserves him (expect maybe you)

“except maybe you” are you out to KILL ME ANON OH MY G O D ;A; thank you - but YES he’s being amazing isn’t he!!! He makes me so happy, such a good boy, such a good character, I’m glad he’s a thing that exists in my life ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡

Anon said:hi fran just wanted to tell ya that I used to love your art before BUT THEN i started drawing myself and now I realize the pain and struggling of shading and anatomy and expressions and let me say i appreciate you 100% EVEN MORE now, and if I used to love your art now I freaking ADORE it!! (also fun fact I actually started drawing bc of you, im uh,,, super executive dysfunctional so I could never get around to doing it before but YOUR ART SERIOUSLY INSPIRED ME THANK U DRAWING IS TOUGH BUT FUN)

Thank you???? So much???? Oh my g o d I’m so happy I could somehow help you find the focus to try drawing out! It is a pain, but the more you do it the easier some basic things get and the more fun you’ll have with it, it’s such a tough but rewarding hobby to have! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as possible, anon!!!!

Anon said:FRAN IS IT WEIRD THAT WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT U I THINK OF U AS A MIXTURE OF BAKU AND KUROO AND KAMI

OMFG WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE EVEN T H O HAHAHA

#fran answers #yall #making my days better #i can't deal with how cute all of you are im #crying a little #aaaahhhhhhh #anonymous

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bifaq · 7 years ago

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I'm 23 but i just realized i might be bi-romantic? i’d always assumed i was on the ace spectrum+ maybe demi-romantic. Since middle school i’ve had dreams with girls but ignored them as dreams. My brother is gay, if i turned out bi my parents would die. I feel I should have known earlier, i’m in my freaking twenties! I’m thinking about it because i have a bf who wants to be more physical and I don't. i had another dream and they aren’t explicit just romantic but really nice. Idk what to think

well firstly i’m really sorry and sad to hear that ur parents would respond so negatively if you came out as bi or anything really. that’s a big pooper and i hope u are able to have some kind of support circle in your life somewhere ;_;

also when it comes to discovering ur identity, it can happen at any age really. like, i discovered i’m actually asexual myself about two years ago and that is also when i realized i’m nonbinary and started exploring my gender identity.

i’m 28 now and i am confidently, comfortably biromantic, asexual, nonbinary person. i grew up like up till 13 not really knowing a thing about any sexuality at all. my first exposure to the concept of sexual orientation was unintentionally thru nsfw content with friends and then seeing their disdain for wlw type stuff.

i went along with it bc hey i didn’t know any better and i really didn’t have the resources to understand what any of this non-straight identities really meant. andi was too afraid to stand out even MORE from my crappy friend group so i hid a lot of my gay feelings till high school.

during high school i realized i was bi and came out a little bit my freshman yr but fully during sophmore yr. like it was literally just fuckin bi gals left and right in my friend group and i was lucky for the most part to be able to have a decent support system there for me which allowed me to like SHED the BURDEN of heteronormativity and EMBRACE the GAY within my HEART. lmao

so from 9th grade where i was 14ish till about 25 i thought i was bisexual - there’s a LOT of negative stuff i’m not going to cover but suffice to say starting therapy helped me realize that my experience with sexuality wasn’t in line totally with being a bisexual - i was much more aligned with the label biromantic and it took me quite a while but eventually i was able to accept that i’m asexual as well as be able to have the people around me understand my limitations in regards to sexual content and set new boundaries i hadn’t before.

basically there i’m just saying that discovering your identity isn’t always something that happens when ur rly young and it’s not something that necessarily has to stay the same. life changes ya! and it’s okay if ur identity fluxes with it as well.

as for ur bf, i think once u could come to a space where u feel like u have identified if u are indeed on the ace-spectrum, then talk with him and rly express to him that certain things are not things u are interested in. it’s a scary conversation, trust me i KNOW, but it’s rly important for ur ace-spectrum identity (if you decide you fall there) is respected first and foremost. otherwise the relationship will eventually just fall apart on its own and it could leave u with rly bad stuff to deal with later on. i wouldn’t wish that on anyone tbh

so in summary:

identity is something that doesn’t have a specific time set for it to be discovered

it can also change over the years from a different thing than u originally identified as! the more resources u are able to find, the better identity labels and such u could relate to bc u are accessing more knowledge than u were previously able to!

identity changing over time doesn’t invalidate any part of u. u are a person and ppl are prone to change.

i am still very sry u would not have support at home when it comes to ur identity; i would ask if u could find some other support systems to help u even if it’s just ppl u know online. basically all my support is majority via my online friends - the value is immeasurable even tho we are all far apart

if u end up IDing on the ace-spectrum, one thing i’d recommend is just doin some browsing and reading up on either other ppl’s experiences or just base facts about the identity that suits u. i found SO much relief when i was able to see the wide range of just BEING that is within the ace-spectrum and it helped me validate my identity to myself

then, it would be recommended to have a good talk with ur bf to basically lay out ur boundaries and see what he is able to work with.

i know the concept of a break up bc ur needs and his needs are different is stressful and scary, and i know it’s easy for me to say that it’s better to leave a person if they desire things u aren’t/won’t/can’t give but pls know in the long run, u will be making the best choice for urself bc ur needs as an ace-spectrum person are of UTMOST importance.

just know that u aren’t alone at all and there’s a huge community for u if u ever need

-mod peach

#anonymous #identity #ace spectrum #biromantic #questioning #long post #sorry i have a LOT of feelings about us ace ppl i love us so much sob

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fandomshatepeopleofcolor · 4 years ago

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This ended up long. Yen is complicated. She def makes mistakes but lmao she doesnt want a baby because "its a new experience". She's looking for someone to love her unconditionally + agency. You know, the important thing about having choices. "She can adopt" ya thats why she+Ciri are mother-daughter. the series/journey just started its gonna take a while. But she's gonna be Ciri's mother & I better hear "mother" as often as I see in the books when it comes to it. More even. & the pivotal character moment for Yen when she calls Ciri "My daughter" + the iconique "I want to be known as Cirilla of Vengerberg, daughter of Yennefer" when Ciri rejects two of the most powerful sorceresses aside from Yen. But lets dive into Yen being a sorceress. Yen is born a hunchback. Her father detested + abused her from birth due to this. She felt absolutely trapped & powerless in her position then felt the loss of care her mother had for her. But Yen has a rare gift for magic so she was enticed w the idea of Tissaia caring for her+the power a sorceress has. Both magically + politically & the ability to remove what she feels is a source of her suffering & loss of love: her looks. to note in the books 1-infertility is the result of magic damaging their reproductive systems 2-all sorceresses traditionally remove their physical deformaties thru magic. There are rare instances where sorceress don't become infertile but Yen falls into the common there. The series changes this to when u take on the initiation rites instead of it being a product of magic usage - felt it could have been a talk on how women are being made to choose between the empowerment that working to support yourself has vs desires of having a family and Yen is a culmination of "if u want both u can have both actually". Either way Yen went after what she wanted: love & agency in the manner that she believed she could get it: thru working hard on her magic. Not unlike being brainwashed on eurocentric ideas of beauty only to later realize its societal norm thats wrong not u (except empowering urself is valid). She realizes that she doesnt actually get true acceptance & love & still has to live in the world that follows the whims of men in spite of the individual power she has. So she starts to think to have true unconditional love she needed her blood+flesh child. Adoption is not an oftentimes course of action as adoption services are probably not prominent. This is where we find her in the story. THEN Ciri comes barrelling into her + Geralt's life w her unconditional love & Yen takes her under her wing & realizing she can have it all & loving Ciri as her own daughter while Ciri loves Yen as her mother. Geralt also loves her knowing she's a hunchback so everything society has taught her about her "unworthiness" is disproven by them. The unconditional love Geralt + Ciri give her is equal to the love she has for them in return. All their journeys to finding & accepting true love & care in a society that seems intent to push them down is culminated in this found family. imo that's whats so empowering about that story: unlearning all the bullshit of society & finding true love & acceptance & support thru the help of the destiny one had the agency to continually choose, thru the family that chose each other. They were destined to be together because of the choices they made. Geralt is not an unemotional monster, Yen is not a crazed sorceress, Ciri is not just a means to more power. They should have agency to choose their destiny, they are each other's choices & they can have unconditional love and support & they find that in each other. You can pry this found family from the Witcher books' statue hands. Jaskier is cool but Yen's journey will forever be my favourite and so is her relationship with Ciri (and when Geralt and Yen act petty) Though honestly I'm only watching the series for Anya and my gay heart because the very good moments in the books that I like don't feel as emotional on the screen except for Anya's parts.

#fhpoc #submission

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smireyac · 6 years ago

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yea boi u already kno what it issssss 🍾🎆🎉🍾🎆🎉

hey so i started writing this at 8 o’ clock so i would be ahead of the game and actually have more than an hour to write but HEY its already 20 after midnight so who the eff care amiright ladies

WOOOOO 🍾🍾🎆 🎉 🎆 🍾 🎉 🎉 🍾 🍾 🍾 🎆🎆 🎆 🎉 🎆 🎉🍾 🎉 🍾🎆 🎉

so.................... its 2019.....................

i watched vox’s “2018 in 5 minutes” video and cried so thats how this year has been :^) a lot of lows......... we always think we leave the shittiest year behind then lo.............. the next year rears its ugly head and we never learn............ despite this, im gonna try to keep a positive outlook on the new year......... its literally just another day and i have to be in at work @ 9 tmrw but its what ever im already super fucking tired whats losing another hour of sleep anywahy?? its practically expected of me any way what with being a youth,,, ANYWAY i spent my time ringing in the new year watching spiderman homecoming so i think that wa sGREAt its also great that im gonna get to see spiderverse AGAIN tmrw after work so SUCK ON THAT im ringing in the new year RIGHT!! its a very spidey new year and i wouldnt have it any other way heh.....

alright

so its time.... to reflect...........

and actually reflect this time last year was weak sauce compared to the first year “im too unfocused right now happy new year or whatever” *scoffs* what r u too good for self reflecting now a days huhh

been doing a lot of self reflecting this year,,,,,, but today we will look back on how the previous years have gotten me to where i am today...

if 2016 was the year of change and 2017 was the year of getting used to things.............. 2018 felt like............ the year of getting TOO used to things, of not ENOUGH change............. like alright i scratched a few of the bigger things on my yearly “to do” list/resolutions, i. e. finally going back to school and getting a job at the library, but like.......... i definitly dont feel like i did enough........... my art game was SO WEAK and i feel like i wrote less than 10,000 words ALL YEAR (not counting my academic papers) i didnt really CREATE anything this i dont have ANYTHING significant to show for this year............and to get more negative i didnt even make any friends all year NONE FRIENDS im only *just* starting to get more friendly with people at the library thank GOD theyre nice and gave my shy ass a chance to open up but i still dont feel like ill make FRIEND friends theyre just work friends and u kno what thats making me so pissed bc its tricking my dumb ass into thinking i have a crush on someone at work aND that i want a *romantic* relationship with them!!! OUTRAGEOUS im so peeved.......................... i also still havent gotten behind a wheel but at this point im not sure if i will anytime soon bc im That Way..... grrrr im just mad thinking of all the things i didnt do so motherfucker i will make 2019 the year of DOING!!!! and i had so many resolutions last year i feel like the more i had the less i felt like i had to do them, like i was just saying all that to be like “oh wouldnt it be nice if any of these things happened lmao” so yeah 2019: the year of DOING... and since ive kinda sorta figured out that writing is my thang.... i think i wanna focus on doing that.. and anything that will help me do it

SO: #GOALS for 2K19

-WRITE AT LEAST 50.000 WORDS U COWARD, more than just “brainstorming” too bc thats like a cop out, write like stories or dialogue or scenes or scripts or WHATEVER just make it to 50,000 pls some people do that in like a month

-READ UR GOD DAMN BOOKS, u *cant* buy anymore if u dont read the ones u’ve already bought,,,, im willing to make an acception re: checking things out from the library................ but u rlly shouldnt IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO EASY TO WIN THE BET DUDE srsly..... maybe .... an hour b4 bed ? try to read ? at least try to read once a week dude....

-heres a curve ball WATCH MORE MOVIES !!! u say u love film well fuckin act like u do...... u only went to the movie theater 5 times all year and three of those were all in the last month to go see spiderverse, more than that HOW MANY movies are there on netflix that u see and go “oh i should watch that finally” or “people say thats rlly good bro” and u scroll right past to watch the same 3 fuckin movies i s2g

-oh yeah back to the writing thing, to reach that 50,000 goal u should write about what you read and watch, there u’ll prob meet the goal b4 summer if u do that bro but....u actually gotta do it....................

ok those r the 4 im REALLY gonna work on and try to keep track of in either of the journals sien got me :^) these next few i rlly want to happen but..... we’ll see

-make some friends pls.... pls be more friendly......... ENGAGE people when u have the opportunity askQUESTIONS about them like if they have a dog or a hobbie jesus h christ

-go out..... on ur own..... do stuff............by urself if u have to... go to the movies by urself go to a park, walk around down town for the fuck of it idk DO STUFF

-finish something............ for once in ur miserable life...................................... finish the vlog or the scrapbook..... or the reading list or this set of goals PLEAsE ANYTHING

im not even gonna put draw/art blog related stuff on here bc........ its not what i want........ like i love drawing and i dont think im terrible at it, im at a good place with it but i dont wanna put my energy this year into drawing stuff for the sake of me being able to say “i did it” like...... last yr and the yr b4 i rlly RLLY wanted to get better at art to idk prove that i could?? but like i havent picked up my drawing tablet in months ... that makes me really sad but i dont really feel like picking it up either? ? i said i wanted to take a painting/color theory/ life drawing class maybe i will this yr and it’ll reinvigorate my love of drawing........ tbh spiderverse got me *this close* to being pumped about art and animation and like yeah i still am, i love the medium and its still a dream of mine to be apart of it but it feels like a pipe dream if i try to go thru the art angle........ so many people r better than me at that and its not really what i wanna do,,, i wanna CREATE STORIES and worlds and characters and like i used my art to help *me* develop those but... i dont wanna use my art to do it for someone else i guess............. the art of animation itself still facsinates me so they door isnt close yet but,,, i wanna focus on the other aspect of myself that im more and at the same time LESS confident about lmao WRITING like alright,,, i think im a good writer .... sorta ? like yeah people tell me i am and sometimes when i look back on things ive written im like “dAMN i wrote this ???” but like,,,, there are some things to writing that still. escape me... like poetry.... and a lot of other aspects to it that i cant describe write now bc it would take too long and im getting cold and tired SO YEAH hopefully this english class will help me, even tho its just writting for college essays, i need to start somewhere and if shes rlly as good of a professor as rate my professor says then ill learn smthg new

where was i

well the year wasnt ALL bad, like i said i got the job at the library i wanted and FINALLY got to go to school, stressful as that mightve been........ and i got to see my love, my darling, the light of my life rhys again for one glorious week,, hopefully ill be able to see more of my friends this year? either in miami or milwuakee idc which MAYBE BOTH lmao im not that rich but hey i can dream,,,

alright its 1:12am i think im ready to sign off,,,,,,,,, here’s to DOING in 2019

🥂 cheers

#omg i talk #happy new year

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redsalamanderfries · 6 years ago

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July 11

7:34 AM, living room, Rize.

Drinking hot water with lemon

Listening to lofi hiphop radio on youtube

Alright so some updates on A, so things were going good, actually cute, u know he told me his real name and I told him half of mine lol (cuz bitch my name is unique one google search and he’ll find my profile- also I have been keeping my info on the low, but still I think he knows a good amount about me).

All until we brought up the topic of religion, specifically a popular and controversial one.

Motherfucker is still texting me. I gotta go make breakfast.

-----------

10:00 AM, living room, Rize.

Drinking ready mix hot Mocha (it's decent)

Listening to Gorillaz

Alright so to pick up from where I left, so this fucker is one of those pissed off organized religion hating types. Now look I honestly have nothing against atheists, agnostics, or whatever u want to fucking call urself. Dude its okay with me, u do u boo (one of my mottos). But this guy is relentless like I told him look fam, I dont really know what I am, I am by name in this religion sure, I follow and practice some aspects of it, but largely I still have my issues with it that I would rather not think about, cuz its a personal touchy thing. Its fucking personal okay?

But this bitch naaaa he didnt give a fuck and keep poking at me, though I made it clear I was uncomfortable and annoyed. Its also my fault I should have asked him to let it go, but I did not say it, so he kept going. But its clear that our perspectives are very different. I just go to bed. Next morning I try to close the subject, he fucking repliesss in an instant, gurl I was shook. And then goes on to so at least ur self-aware, anyway im not going to press u any further over this. I am standing front of my screen like, FUCK U, who the fuck do u think u r? I dont owe u shit jack of an explanation. I should have reminded my self of that last night. Besides why the fuck do u care that much man? u dont even know me, why does it matter to u that much lol

I honestly think he is one of those pseudo-intellectuals, that thinks hes deep cuz hes ‘unconventional’ and ‘different from the rest’ or some edgy shit. Like H’s bitch ass boyfriend.

Either way, I know now for sure nothing will work out between us, there is also his Persian background that my parents will for sure object over. Like I personally dont give a fuck, but its really telling the way he pressed on and reacted to this issue, besides hes not looking for something serious.

And his approach to life is also telling about him, as in why he went into uni, and the major he chose. But ppl change, he has learned from his mistakes, regrets them, and it trying to fix things for better future prospects for himself- which I respect. Besides I have done so much dumb shit I still deeply regret and aim to fix.

I guess we can still be friends, that okay with me. But that means I have be more careful about what I reveal about myself. I dont really feel like replying to him anymore (he barely starts a topic, its just me leading the convo and its getting annoying- but I guess he could be gauging me), he put me off with his latest stunt...

Im starting to think that I will die alone, or have to break my oath and accept petty short flings. Like im not asking for the perfect partner, thats not realistic I understand, but the required compatibilities are so hard to fucking met, and I will have to heavily compromise. But if I do that I run the risk of not being able to bare their faults- I get that an important aspect of a successful relationship is finding someone who's quirks are bearable to u. And I feel that due to the nature of my personality, no one will be able to stand me, and then I cant stand someone for long...

I need to write to H.

#July 2018

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