#like. their origins are extremely different but

[dosthoeyevsky]

im posting your tags here @absentlyabbie cuz you have made an incredibly salient point

also big yikes to that person for demonstrating the other flavour of christian cognitive dissonance where you say "dont worry im not like THOSE christians" and "how dare you criticize christianity when other religions have problems, this is just like rome, i am being actively persecuted."

I grew up culturally catholic, and even though I dont go to mass anymore because I have my criticisms of the church as an organisation, but there are people I respect very much who still go to mass because at the end of the day it's jesus's values and the culture of catholic rites which matter to them more than the organisation itself. All religions as institutions have their flaws, yes, but they also have their beautiful and valuable aspects, and its that observation which softened my hardline teenage atheism into a more "live and let live" approach.

That being said, religion is inherently political, and all politics benefits from being criticised, especially if the organisation is both extremely widespread and extremely invested in making everyone a member. And while roman catholicism and american conservative christianity are diametrically opposed in quite a few ways, the catholic church has an extremely real, long, and violent history of cultural imperialism, and american conservative christianity (whether its evangelical, baptist, mormon, or whatever bootleg version of catholicism vice president couchfucker claims to practice) is obsessed with prosyletism and wants to convert as many people as possible over to the same ruleset with zero respect for their original culture or spiritual practices. Not everyone is christian, but i guarantee you almost everyone has crossed paths with this flavour of christianity that actively seeks you out and treats you like a problem for not participating in it. We can talk about other religions problems until the cows come home, but those are different conversations and veeeeery different problems.

This conversation is about a particularly loud, annoying, and ubiquitous problem found in christianity that deliberately makes itself everyone's problem, whether they practice or not. Christianity is not being dunked on because its fun or cool, and unless you're actively being tied to a post and set on fire, you're not being persecuted. You're just uncomfortable with criticism directed your way, even though it might be valuable.

In short... get off the cross, we need the wood.

[edit, ~5 hours later: attributed the tags to the correct person- sorry to @absentlyabbie and @vaspider for the goof!]

Since posting that "how many mass graves and extinct cultures" post last month, I've had multiple Christians in the notes whining that there isn't a "specific instruction of belief that Christianity needs to wipe out every other religion in the world" in Christianity's teachings, and that it's all just The Church/King James/etc.

And every time, I point to the literal text of the passages of The Great Commission.

And nearly every time, that shuts them up; the only time it didn't, it was to engage in some disgusting semantical goalpost moving.

But it's like...

Why do Christians not know the content of their own texts? Is your faith really so tribalistic and totemic around the concept of "Jesus" that you all don't bother to actually read the religious texts?

It feels like it must be--I've heard of too many instances of Christians walking out of readings of The Sermon On The Mount because they think it's "liberal nonsense" and the like, but I just find it baffling and more than a little sad that I, a Jew, apparently knows the New Testament's text better than the people who swear by it and ostensibly believe and follow it.

[idekwthmuistb]

Ok so I got started on dog breeds for the batfam and I know that there have been thoughts abt it before so here are mine! (Also fair warning I go off a mixture of vibes, looks, and basic breed temperment AND im not a dog breed specialist or anything like that, im pretty much just using the akc website for these breeds)

I'm gonna start with Alfred, honestly I was at first thinking a burmese or standard poodle but they just weren't really clicking right. Eventually I settled on him being either a schnauzer or terrier which helped narrow my options greatly! Looking through them all I decided the Giant Shnauzer suited him best in the end. The breed is very loyal, hard-working, and can be quite the guard!

Alfred - Giant Shnauzer:

I saw a post saying Bruce would be a Belgian Sheepdog and at first I completely agreed due to their looks but when I learned a bit more about their personality i was like hmmm so I went looking for something more in line with how I see him. Belgium Teruven popped up right after, and though similar, I thought it fit him better. Honestly could have just been due to the different wording but I like them better for Bruce regardless lol

Bruce - Belgian Teruven:

Dick was surprisingly a LOT harder than I thought he'd be. There were three breeds I got stuck between: the Dalmation, Mudi, and Norwegian elkhound. All very different dogs by all means yet each fit him quite well. I dismissed Dalmation first, though they're agile, they weren't quite friendly enough. Mudi was next for much the same reasons. It was around this time that I had also started considering a Great Pyrenees for him, seeing as they are known as both loving and vicious–though I ended up not going with it because they're a bit too calm (hm maybe alfred should be a Pyrenees instead?). That left me with the Norwegian Elhound. The breed is very dependable, friendly, and just fits his vibes looks-wise.

Dick - Norwegian Elkhound:

I know most people give Jason a mixed breed or just say he's a mutt because he came from a lower-income household but honestly that doesn't sit well with me, especially when we're giving the others their own breeds. As soon as I found the Anatolian Shepard I was like YES THATS HIM!! They're a large breed that is fiercely protective of their herd and are very loyal and independent. They'll protect what's theirs and are surprising nimble!

Jason - Anatolian Shepard:

Cass was honestly quite difficult for me. I quickly crossed out any typical herding breeds (Shepards, Collies, ect ect) and sight-hounds because she was raised to be LETHAL and I know that any breed can be deadly if trained right (or wrong) they just weren't what I was looking for. I played around with a few breeds like the akita, or a basenji, but they weren't quite right. But then, I came across a breed named Kai Ken. They're a medium sized dog, originating in Japan and used for hunting a wide range of animals in Japan's mountains. The Kai Ken are extremely versatile (they're known to CLIMB TREES) and loving of their family. They are also born completely black but develope a subtle brindle coat that helps them camouflage and I just think that's SO COOL???

Cass - Kai Ken:

Now, I'll be real with yall, I don't know much about Duke and wasn't really looking for a breed for him because of that but I came across one that clicked with him in my mind? The breed is called Large Munsterlander which is just a wild name BUT they're very cooperative and calm. This breed is very versatile and are meant for hunting–they're sense of smell is impressive and they're quite determined when it comes to hunting and retrieving any game.

Duke - Large Munsterlander:

Tim Tim Timothy, though high-class, I honestly thought at first that he'd be a Border Collie. However, as I was perusing dog breeds, I realized that the Collie was only representing half of him, as it didn't really match his looks or vibes, merely his personality. So I thought and thought and then–BAM, my brain gave me two choices, the Ibizan Hound or the Pharoah Hound. After figuring out that they were quite similar in personality, I decided to go with the Ibizan Hound. Funnily enough, they can be very attached but not prone to overtly showing it!

Tim - Ibizan Hound:

Now, Damian is a little trickier because I could fully see him taking after Bruce in having the same breed both bc they're blood related and just the vibes but, though I couldn't find much information on them, based on my personal experience with them I do think the Black Mouth Cur would be a good match up to Damian. They can be very territorial of people and things they think is theirs if not properly socialized. Otherwise they'll be very loving and protective of those they've deemed family and are built for hunting large game that are common around farms.

Damian - Black Mouth Cur:

And then here's some miscellaneous people

-Talia and Ra's I could see being Salukis

-Stephanie is perhaps a Portuguese Podengo, scrappy

-Barbara is a Redbone Coonhound all the way

-Roy is a Finish Spitzin my eyes

-Clark gives Dogo Argentino

-Diana feels like a Leonberger

-Oliver is possibly a Berger Picard

-Hal is definitely a Ridgeback, stubborn lol

[danmei-confessions]

Man, we seem to remember the origins of canon jc very differently because from what I recall antis were fairly deliberately and antagonistically putting hate posts (including posts where they said some wild shit about JC's fans, rather than the character himself) in the tags. They also refused to acknowledge that there's a difference between discussing a characters' negative traits and vent posts about how much you personally hate a character, often accompanied by antagonistic little digs at people who do like him. I get that there's going to be differences of opinion wrt how much "attributing the worst motives possible to a character in a screed about how your take is definitely the only possible way of seeing them" counts as fair game analysis vs. venting, but some of the shit being posted didn't even rise to that level.

You finally made a tag for yourselves (great!) and picked canon jc, which I was perfectly fine so long as your very canon centric posts like "JC sold Yanli to the Jins," "JC thinking WWX shouldn't marry Mianmian because of the class difference between WWX and Mianmian proves JC thinks WWX and Mianmian are the same class," "JC has a special narcissistic child disorder and that's why he was hurt by his father picking him up between one and five times," "JC fans are real life abuse apologists," and "I hate JC so much and anyone who read the book will see that MXTX intended him to be pure evil is stupid and probably also pure evil" were out of the main tag, but new JC fans coming in and being annoyed by you posting that shit in the canon jc tag is a classic case of playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. I'm sorry your hobby of hating a made up man on the internet is being disrupted but if you hadn't been petty this wouldn't be happening, but I think deep down you know your takes are about as based in canon as the most extreme jc stans. If you post to anti JC you won't have to deal with people posting his canonical positive behaviour and traits and we can all go back to ignoring each other in peace.

.

[azraanth]

Kaname shoud’ve been the main character of VKM or at least should have had more moments where he got to experience what it’s like to be human, outside of his feelings for Yuuki. I feel like Hino didn’t want to explore certains aspects of Kaname’s character. Such as ; why after his memories are erased, he still feels like he’s a bad person? Is it something that he believes so deeply about himself that even erasing his memories didn’t change his perception about himself? What did he feel, when he woke up and had no memories of his past? What was it like to be confronted by the fact that he has two daughters and he doesn’t remember them ? What is it like for him to know he never got to see Ai grow up? Did he grieve that? Worse, what is it like, to know that Yuuki loved him so much that she waited a thousand years to give him her heart? That she died for him? Especially as a human, his perception of time should have changed. There was many themes that could have been explored with his character while keeping his love for Yuuki and Ai as the main topic but while also exploring Kaname in a different setting than the original manga. I am aware that some of those questions have been partially answered, but Hino never dug deep into his mind or his thought patterns.

I love VK and partially love VKM as well, but Hino went from interesting concepts and vilains to very generic ones that don’t give any real challenges to the main characters. At least not emotionally. The vilains in VKM never made Yuuki question herself or her choices. Even raising a daughter should’ve been a challenge itself. I mean, imagine : immature Yuuki learning to mother a child while maintaining order in the vampire communities and slowly understanding where Kaname was coming from before he died and his mistakes and also creating parallels between Kaname’s love for Yuuki — like the length he went to keep her safe to Yuuki herself being in the position of the protector for her daughter. It could have been so good. I sometimes see glimpes of that in VKM.

And�� Zero, I feel like he made his peace with himself in VKM but we never for the thought process behind his actions. His main problem as a character was that he hated vampires, especially purebloods in VK and that got his arc completed in that regard in VK. I feel like his challenges would have been different too if I follow my own ideas. I don’t think he’s ever seemed deeply jealous of Kaname. His character was always the peaceful protector, the one who descalate situations and bring back Yuuki from extremes ideas to more neutral ones. But his challenges, so far? I have never seen him struggle with knowing that Yuuki loves Kaname as well. But what I would have liked to see with him is other themes : because in VKM, he’s the reverse of Kaname. He started his life as a human and became a vampire, and even from then, it was more or less implied that he would die quickly if he descended to a Level E. This man has never expected to live such a long life. How does he not struggle with the idea of eternal life? Of not knowing the end? How is he not having a crisis over this? Even after Kaname’s death, he still had problems with vampires and I truly do want him to see him become friends with some or even: what is it like to live longer than your hunter friends? What is like it kill a vampire with your gun and coming back to your pureblood wife? How does he deal with it? And, also, being 25 or so and having a baby daughter — because Ai is. How did it feel like, being so young and seeing the spitting image of his greatest love and greatest enemy/friend walking around? Did he learn to love parts of Kaname through Ai? Did it help him make peace with Kaname? Was Ai being born was the cataclyst to Zero forgiving Kaname?

[spacelazarwolf]

yeah i almost included a bit abt how europe’s perception of jews and europe’s perception of roma through the centuries have been extremely similar bc we’re foreigners who refused to give up our cultures. the tropes we’re assigned are only different bc we have different origin stories and cultures, and then there’s the complication of christianity being obsessed with jews for religious reasons, but really at the end of the day both jews and roma were targeted because we were foreigners who wouldn’t just fade into european society. so i feel like that’s why it’s particularly cruel to tell jews and roma that we’re on the same level of societal privilege as the ppl who literally saw us as animals or wouldn’t give us basic human rights like??? idk it’s 3am but yeah.

schrodinger's jew: jews are and are not white until an antisemite makes up their mind about which type of antisemite they want to be.

[curated-hdg]

4WheelSword Showcase

I would like to briefly pause my normal output to make the case that absolutely everything 4WheelSword has touched in the past few months has been pure gold.

Lucky Star by 4WheelSword

Ca. 60k words; ongoing.

A plural system has learned to survive, safeguarding them against the traumas of capitalism. When the Affini Compact takes over, will those learned behaviours keep them alive or doom them to a different fate?

Lucky Star is a carefully-crafted and powerful story about existing in a war you've already lost. The Howe system has the truly impressive luck to avoid capture during the affini pacification campaign. For years. A harrowing look behind the scenes of war, followed by the long, slow recovery from those horrors, that nonetheless perfectly captures the feeling of an HDG fic - this is a task lesser authors have failed at.

Outdoor Cat by 4WheelSword

5k words; complete.

Kitten is a Floret. A floret's duty is to be sweet, adorable and all the other things that make them perfect. However, Kitten's duty is to find Problems. What Problems will she find?

Outddoor cat is just delightful. An adorable, lovely romp through the compact by one of its fuzzier citizens! An almost flawless little fluff fic. Problems are fun!

Alder's Prize by 4WheelSword, sheepwave

28k words; 12 chapters; complete.

At the fall of the Terran Accord, a marine is adopted by one of humanity's new masters. Alder Fraxinus has no interest in men, but sees no reason that should stop him enjoying his new pet. This slightly edgy and extremely horny Daddy Dom force fem fic follows Alder and a soon-to-be cracked marine deep in toxic masculinity as "he" gets broken into a blissfully happy trophy floret.

Alder's Prize feels like a modern love letter to the original Human Domestication Guide by GlitchyRobo. A fierce, compact feralbreaking forcefemme fic. It's unbelievably horny, and watching our main character break is simply a delight.

Dancing To Her Rhythms by 4WheelSword, Cadence_the_Hypnotic_Floret, sheepwave

89k words; 27 chapters; ongoing. Unusual tags: Dom!Terran x Sub!Fini, Oral Penectomy, Snuff, Aftermath of Sexual Assault

Rosanna Bianchi, Independent Terran, has been living her best life under the Affini Compact for ten years, and has recently started hooking up with Blossom, a subby little floret who makes her feel truly special. There's just one tiny little hitch... Blossom is an affini. Can Rosanna navigate this dance and get what she wants? Or will she be inevitably drawn to orbit her submissive?

Depending on how long this blog goes this may get its own entry at some point. The two finished arcs of Dancing to Her Rhythms tell a deeply powerful, personal story of falling in love and dealing with the consequences thereof, featuring two main characters who couldn't more obviously be a disaster fire waiting to happen. It's shamelessly, disgustingly kinky and filthy, features some incredibly raw writing, and is probably the premiere Dom!Terran x Sub!fini story in the entire setting. A beautiful, touching exploration of living your best life as a cluster-B disaster.

On Domestication Of Masters by 4WheelSword, sheepwave

42k words, 10 chapters, ongoing. Unusual tags: CW: Nietzsche; This Blorbo is a Genuinely Awful Person We Do Not Condone Her Shitty Worldview

A hard Master/submissive willbreaking fic with maidplay and dollification elements. On the icy moon of Ganymede, an independent human, Frida, is scheming. She considers herself to be above all others, affini and terran alike. They just don’t have it figured out like she does; that the affini exist to serve those humans willing to see themselves as the true philisophical Masters of the universe. She just wants to get one little (rather cruel) feralist broadcast out to hurt the Affini as much as possible, then volunteer for the cushiest caretaker she can find to pamper her while she reads philosophy and pats herself on the back for being so, so smart. Let’s see how that plays out for her!

Unless I stop publishing this blog in the next month or so we will be returning to this one. On Domestication of Masters is something truly special and fully deserves its own entry. Frida Lataria is a uniquely heinous protagonist; a fascist terrorist who radicalized herself after the compact showed up. She's the scringliest blimbo I've ever seen, and the process of seeing her hit rock bottom is... really something.

BELTANE WILDFIRE by 4WheelSword, Moonfloret (LucisLibari)

6k words; incomplete; notable tags: WE'RE FORCEMASCING A TERF HERE IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU

Demeter Silverleaf accepts the rise of the affini compact with open arms. As a natural-born wombyn and radical feminist, she believes the coming of a plant-based matriarchy was the future humanity truly needed. Finding herself listless after her job becomes obsolete, she volunteers herself for domestication in hopes of finding the gaia-aligned Goddess she's always deserved. The Affini that takes her in is set on giving her precisely that, but there's a bit of a discrepancy between the two of them on what exactly it is she deserves.

...Do I even need to say it? This one's still relatively new, at only two chapters, and Demeter is already peak hateable protagonist. She sucks, in so many ways, and I see incredible promise in this story.

In conclusion, if you are not watching 4WheelSword's output, why are you not watching 4WheelSword's output, they're INCREDIBLE. So many stories, so many different feelings and vibes, such a broad spectrum of work, and all of it shows a mastery of prose and technical writing that is beyond compare. The scent descriptions! Good lord the scent descriptions!

[a-minke-whales-tale]

Becoming Boopable - Concepts for a Tactile Feedback System

The other day the three of us made silly anatomy charts of our species. We all collectively labeled the tips of our rostrums as some variation of a spot to be booped. It is virtually certain we would live in captivity when returning to the water. As such interacting with our trainers will be a particularly important source of enrichment as will be knowing if we are against the edge of the tank. If you watch interaction between humans and captive cetaceans, though some aspects can involve full body such as rubdowns, much interaction involving physical contact focuses on the face. This is for us a problem because we would lack any sensation in the face. This is most pronounced for me where the forward tip of my rostrum will extend 80 cm past the edge of my face. It would be least extreme for Ike which would probably be around 30 cm. Some infromation can still be transmitted that we can see some things with the vision system and we should be able to feel for instance if we are being pushed on our rostrum. But we would not be able to feel a more gentle touch or pets on that pretty large art of our body.

The idea to address this is pretty simple. We place some sort of pressure sensor or switch in some key places namely the tip of the rostrum. When these areas are touched it activates a small solonoid or servo which pushes some sort of soft silicone block to contact the human skin allowing us to detect and understand we are being touched.

This system could be taken a bit further to give us sensation to understand if something is touching different parts of our rostrum basically just a very large "or" gate if any in a certain area become activated we know that something is there. Our experience will still be heavily reliant on vision, but somethingnlike this would at least give us a better understanding what is around and in front of us.

Originally for Ike and Sonar I added a forhead boop region as well as due to their face shapes they could also be booped there. I might yet add that for myself as well mostly as a spot of being held or petted.

This is still a very preliminary idea, how many of these there should be is a question as well as making it so it can detect for instance a hand touching it (and ideally a wall) without it also being activated simply from diving. Perhaps some sort of pressure balance system or some sort of electric induction that would detect just skin, but then certain things for instance the walls of our tank or a target we would not be able to feel. It might also be possible to inćude something like this to tell us when our blowholes are above water and we can breathe as we simply will not be able to feel our blowholes rise above the surface.

It would regardless add quite a lot of potential complexity, still I think on the head having some form of tactike feedback that lets us feel our rostrum would be very desirable.

- Kala

[marxistlesbianist]

The backlash to progressivism is definitely a part of it, but what’s more important is the way Nazism was a response to the crisis of capitalism.

Germany had been one of the major imperialist superpowers at the dawn of the 20th century, but after WWI most of its colonies were conceded to other imperialist nations in the treaty of Versailles. You know how liberals will sometimes say something like “for better or worse Hitler did revitalize the economy”? Well this was accomplished by using imperialist control methods against German citizens! Organized labor power was broken through extreme force and state industries were privatized, essentially undoing the victories of Germany's labor movement over the past half century. Simultaneously, minority communities—most notably the Jews—were systematically uprooted, whilst whatever wealth did exist within them was appropriated by the German elite. There is a direct line connecting European colonialism to Nazi policies, as they literally studied Jim Crow and anti-native policies in the US to design there new system of segregation. The gas chamber was originally developed by the French for use in Africa! Once German capitalism was up and running again they embarked on their long-term goal of colonizing the Soviet territories, and . . . well, we know how that went for them :)

Today the US Empire is similarly under threat, even if the circumstances are different. Social development in Asia is allowing exploited country is to enter into the global economy on more favorable terms, whilst Islamic resistance in the Middle East threatens the political foundations of the US monopoly on oil trade. The US empires is still strong, but its tenure of total world domination is coming to a close. In order to avoid total economic collapse, the US can either go the Nazi’s route of imperialism turned inwards, or embrace the socialist mode of production! And we know that socialism is unthinkable . . .

So many western liberals agree with 95% of Nazi ideology without realizing it, whilst having only a vague, idealistic notion of why Nazis were bad

[dilly-dahlia]

Laurance and Aphmau is my number one mcd ship, but in the way i used to ship Luka and Marinette (Miraculous)

like i think they would be fantastic together and that they’d be the best pairing (obviously, they’re the ship i root for), but I can also recognize that Aphmau in the canon mcd is selfish and didn’t really like Laurance like that tbh??

yes, she likes him, maybe even loves him at some point, but we also have to remember that the whole time during season two she had a whole plethora of things to worry about, the main being getting Garroth out of the Irene dimension (I kind of interpret that in a couple different ways; one being she feels an obligation to him as his lord, two being she has these undiscovered or unrealized romantic feelings for him, three that the two of them are extremely close, and a couple more but that’s a different conversation). even Laurance brings this up after they escape the whole werewolf wedding thing. Laurance told Aphmau he was going to stop making advances because he didn’t want to be unfair to Garroth. He said he wouldn’t make advances unless she wanted him to.

that’s kind of the part that reminds me of Luka and Marinette because he feels so strongly about her in every way possible, and she just doesn’t return that (although it could still be due to all the stress Aphmau goes under). but knowing how canon Aphmau in mcd acts, i feel like if she undoubtedly wanted to be with Laurance, then she would have told him and they would have been together

and then we come to Aaron. he ends up being there for Aphmau in ways Laurance can’t because Laurance has never been a lord. Laurance has never lost the entire village he cared for and nurtured the same way Aphmau and Aaron have, so Aphmau can’t talk to Laurance about things pertaining to that. and on top of that, Aphmau gets pregnant by Aaron

that is especially where my point about Luka and Marinette comes in. they would work well together and Luka (Laurance) is obviously the better choice, at least to me, for Marinette (Aphmau), but he deserves so much more than what his love interest is giving him. he deserves someone that won’t push him to the side because someone she likes more is interested, he deserves someone that will be wholly devoted to him like he is to her

if you’ve seen Miraculous, remember how Luka used all those pretty metaphors to describe Marinette? and she liked the metaphors but she didn’t like him because she was in love with Adrien? that’s Aphmau and Laurance in Jessica’s original mcd. Aphmau liked the pretty words Laurance said to her, she liked the time he devoted to her, she liked that Laurance was practically at her beck and call, but her heart always belonged to something else, whether that be a cause, a person, or organizations.

[loredwy]

Ok but hear me out. Not the same at all, but

Could drag technically count like a gringo equivalent of murga? 🤔

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dungeon Meshi: Delicious in RPG!

(Sprites + bonus art here!)

[tackykachowch]

How it feels to not like timebomb after s2

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage - The World Within

[theiaphage]

This is a really well worded post and I generally agree! However, I think I got another angle of this same conclusion based on the idea that Amy's original redemption arc never really concluded only to backslide -- rather, that her expectations about redemption fundamentally change what that redemption arc means in-text

Like you say, it absolutely falls well within the typical narrative-trope parameters of the expected 'redemption arc,' she hits all the core points -- but, like with a lot of tropes related to pain, trauma, healing, forgiveness and so on, the typical narrative portrayal isn't often a realistic one. In that way I think Amy acts as both a good example and, with further context, a deconstruction of the redemption arc, because under further examination a lot of the arc itself isn't necessarily as positive as it first came off. In so many of her attempts, she's trying to do better according to all she knows when surrounded by the worst influences possible. She doesn't have a solid safe role model, and hasn't for her entire life. Someone to tell her that sometimes you just won't be forgiven, that not every fight ends with a hug and back-to-normal at the end.

In that way, Amy's attempts at doing the right thing in Worm, though absolutely noble in conscious intent, still betray a few of her failings and the places she was failed. Like you say, she really does try to get better, she does the things she may know broadly lead to healing or help or forgiveness, but a lot still ends up being more about her than her efforts.

The tattoo here absolutely stands out to me -- even before Ward went and had her all but explicitly say that the tattoo holds a different meaning now, even in Worm it still seemed imperfect, questionable potentially, but with heart behind it. It was a memorialization of pain and a reminder to do better -- but like so many pieces of art about pain or failure, it could inadvertently romanticize the subject just as much as it condemns it. Amy is, in a very real way, actively working this tragedy into a part of a narrative -- one she tries to use for growth, but ultimately fails in.

I'm trying not to be too harsh on Amy here, but vibes-wise I'm reminded somewhat of something like an ex-boyfriend, leaving flowers at the door of someone who dumped him, or cry-singing a song about how they were a bad boyfriend on the car drive home. Sure, the pain is real, the acknowledgement of failure likely is as well, but at some point the gesture becomes more about the boyfriend's pain than the actual relationship, or even the breakup. In this moment Victoria, a victim who literally cannot speak for herself in this instance, is 'memorialized' in a very real sense, turned into a symbol by a person that already as a base nature of their power and life can feel so disconnected from the humanity of others.

So many of these choices by Amy center her -- her attempted growth, her attempted retribution, her attempted change. It's the kind of thing that in real life really can be done for the right reasons, but can also be done for worse ones -- that ex-boyfriend working out thinking of their ex, getting a job thinking of their ex, hanging a picture of their ex above their bed to motivate them to get up in the morning. Amy's actions aren't even this extreme or pointed, but I view it as them sharing a sort of kernel of trying to do better because they really want (or even need) better in turn -- and thus, Amy's arc in Ward is what happens when the textbook redemption arc doesn't work.

When all those acts of memoriam, distance, betterment, health, are done with the kernel of hope in your mind that it means you'll be forgiven, that it all will be fine again and you can go back to how it was.

And that's why I see her redemption arc as never having completed -- she's trying, she's hitting the right steps, but ultimately at the conclusion of this redemption (which I would argue is a long period of time, starting with Vicky's new body and coming back up again for a while) would come when those attempts were tested, when Victoria refuses to forgive her and she's forced to either accept her betterment without Victoria, or let go of it and keep pushing for her -- she begins to choose the later.

In this way it's less of a backslide and more of a recontextualizing moment. She is backsliding in behavior, but it's not that she got foundationally better and then became foundationally worse again, and more so that she tried to get better, put in real effort, but ultimately failed. This version worked for me because it seems to be what Amy acts like right out of the gate; annoyed that Vicky won't accept her, continually trying to do things 'for' her or based on her happiness when Victoria wants nothing to do with any of that.

These give some context to her past actions, allow you to re-examine Worm in a way that both provides answers and adds a new layer in a way many readers (myself included) missed at first simply because yeah, Amy's arc does have all the pieces of a redemption arc, and it takes Ward to get people thinking about whether or not those pieces add up.

I do want to state to conclude that yeah, her portrayal (and especially the initial choice to tell this story surrounding Amy of all people) has its issues, many major, but the portrayal of someone who falls into toxicity and abuse because they thought they were doing everything right and still didn't get what they wanted out of it; A person who still didn't get that one selfish prize they latched onto in a moment of pain that they tried to be a saint to deserve or make up for wanting? Yeah, that's pretty unique and powerful, and despite its flaws it really hits home as an accurate-to-the-point-of-painfulness portrayal.

Okay, fuck it, I've built up enough goodwill with this sideblog - let's risk it all by sharing my opinions on how Amy is handled in Ward.

It's kinda complicated I think.

Okay, now that I've resisted the urge to immediately hit post for the bit: I think the way her interludes are written substantially flattens her character in a way that I find distasteful and unpleasant, but I find the overall shape of her arc and her role in the narrative compelling. The things I dislike have been well-covered by plenty of other people in the fandom, so I'm going to focus on the things I like.

To talk about Amy's role in Ward, I first need to talk about my interpretation of Ward as a whole. To me, Ward is, above all else, about trauma and recovery. Society is traumatized by the end of the world, the shards are traumatized by the death of Scion and their loss of purpose, individuals are traumatized by all the things individuals are traumatized by. As an aside, this reading is a big reason why I'm not too bothered by a lot of the world building choices that other people frequently (and fairly) criticize - I think many of them serve this theme effectively.

One specific facet of that reading that I find particularly compelling is Ward's interest in people who are traumatized not just by the harm done to them, but by the harm they've done. Characters don't just regret what they've done, they don't just want to be better, they are traumatized by it, and their reactions to that trauma are as messy and complicated as any other traumatized people. I don't always agree with the stances the text takes on how to deal with having done harm and been traumatized as a result, but I find the exploration of the topic compelling.

Enter The Altruistic Amy Dallon.

Amy's arc in Worm was, to a degree, a prototype of this kind of storytelling. She is repeatedly and horrifically traumatized, the actions she eventually takes in response to that experience inflict equally horrific trauma on her victim, and she is further traumatized by her own actions almost to the point of ego death. She removes herself from the environment she was in, begins rebuilding her sense of identity and ethics, and reemerges having grown, prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations for her past actions as best she can. Arc done! It's satisfying and cathartic, and we leave content in the knowledge that the part she's on will take her to better places. It's the quintessential appeal of a redemption arc, and it's a strong example of its type.

There's something people like to say a lot when talking about mental health and personal growth in real life, and that is that progress isn't linear. It's an important truth to understand.

It's rarely true in fiction. Very often, in redemption arcs, in personal growth arcs, after a series of false starts and setbacks, the character reaches a critical point where they resolve their conflict and either overcome it or succumb to it. From that point on, their nature or behavior is fundamentally changed - if they've grown they never relapse past a certain point, or do so only fleetingly, or else never improve past a certain point. This makes sense from a storytelling perspective, but it doesn't map to how growth often works in real life.

In Ward, Amy occupies the very rare narrative position of being who completes her arc of growth and redemption, who crosses that critical threshold of lasting, meaningful change... but backslides anyway, to the point of essentially losing all that progress.

It's an outcome that I find very believable for her, honestly. Her newfound worldview and conviction were forged in the very insular environment of the Birdcage - of course they would be impacted by her new environment. She says at the end of Ward that she had been able to excuse all of her worst behavior because she had convinced herself that she could fix anything - and at the end of Worm, I can see how she would come to think that! She's been pardoned and released from Forever Prison, she overcame her old aversion to brains to create Khepri and thereby saved the world, she's formed a positive relationship with the father she never thought she'd meet, she's receiving love and support from parents she never felt good enough for, she's using her powers to help people in a way that doesn't make her want to die, and she even "fixed" Victoria, when failing to do that before was the final nail in the coffin she just finished clawing her way out of! The sheer number of seemingly impossible things she's accomplished, of apparently irreversible failures she's seemingly put right, is mind boggling! It'd be the easiest thing in the world to let that go to your head!

Her social circle is also a perfect environment to enable her worst tendencies - there's no one left in it whose opinion she trusts that's willing to call her on her shit. Marquis doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, Carol is trying to make up for a decade of neglect and unwarranted criticism, Mark just wants everybody to get along and be happy, and Riley and Rinke are pretty shaky on this whole human decency thing themselves! With a (not unjustified) pride in how far she'd come, a circle of willing enablers, a complete lack of moderating influences, and a bulletproof get-out-of-moral-culpability-free card, and two years to spiral, I find her backsliding to be completely believable. And given that Victoria is the fly in the ointment to all of this, that her continued refusal to have anything to do with Amy gives lie to Amy's belief that she can fix anything, and thereby puts the entire edifice of her self-rationalizations at risk, it also makes perfect sense to me that Amy would become fixated on her, on proving that she really can fix anything.

Of course, being believable isn't the same thing as being compelling. The thing that makes all this so resonant for me is that, at the end of Ward, after being this grasping spectre that haunts Victoria the whole book, after rejecting countless opportunities to demonstrate a hint of self-awareness or the slimmest motivation to change - Amy does. She sits down with a therapist. She rips off the band-aid - both the metaphorical one and the literal one made out of Victoria's skin, jesus christ Amy - looks at what she's done, at how she went awry, and resolves to do better. And we end with her in essentially the same place she was at the end of Worm: prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations as best she can. But the journey she has taken to get there gives the destination entirely new meaning for me. She's already fumbled her chance at redemption! But her journey gives lie to the idea that you only have one chance, or two, or any finite number! Every moment you draw breath is a chance to do better.

To me, Amy Dallon's arc in Ward shows that the most important step you can take is the next one, and no matter how many times you walk up and down that road, it never stops being true. And I find that compelling as hell.

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