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trainerethan · 1 month ago

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In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.

Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.

She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.

Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.

Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.

He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.

As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.

#green is better at masking in the sense that he doesnt struggle with facial expressions and can mimick others social behaviours pretty well #he really learned via watching others and practicing fake conversations in his head until he could navigate most conversations well #he does still have times where he did not account for certain factors or new situations so he has to observe and learn some more lol #leaf struggles with socializing even when she watches and tries to copy bc unlike green who is naturally a bit dramatic and animated #she instead leans heavily into having flat affect like red. she also struggles really hard with picking up on other ppls intent/feelings #the type of person who isnt sure what the emotion were feeling right now is bc she also struggles to identify her own feelings sometimes #red does that too. part of why hes very avoidant and internalizes everything is that he often can't identify exactly what hes feeling #and if he can he doesn't know how to make it feel better/would rather ignore it and try to focus on something else #green tries to internalize his negative emotions but i think hed struggle with it so he js def the type to bottle things up for awhile #but he quickly gets overwhelemed and ends up having a bit of a meltdown when he can't hold it in any more #hes very reactive. part of why his and oaks relationship is difficult to mend is bc green gets very easily triggered by any small jabs oak #makes at him even jf theyre unintentional especially if he compares him/his strength as a trainer to red #when red dissapears it would get worse bc he is constantly weighed down by guilt and can end up lashing out a bit #especially with his bpd making him prone to mood swings/very strong emotions he struggles to process #he gets better at it as he gets older but it's really overwhelming and difficult as a kid/teen bc oak is 0 help and daisy #does what she can to hell him when she can but shes his sister not his mom. im not making her take on a parental role she is also a kid #anyways. thjs js ungodly long #trainer red #trainer leaf #green oak #blue oak #pokemon headcanons

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cathalbravecog · 2 years ago

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Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

#long #ramble #cathalposting #i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this #but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think #Stay Back Foul Beasts !#alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to #give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy #they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy #youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life #and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms.#i dont want to see him hurt either yknow.#anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me #thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag #hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna #answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle)#(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself)#do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers?#ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward.#and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever #this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING!#MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!#dies #ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell

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