#like. i dont want all my results from now on to come from gels and westerns and shit. but cest la vie i guess

[snailmilksolution]

grief regarding leaving this field sneaking back up on me :/

4A ribosome. u can see the rna ribbons and the alpha helices and the beta sheets so clearly. at least on the large subunit. where else am i gonna get results this rewarding :/:/:/

[greetingsfromuranus]

I've been messing with the Edd squishy 3d model all day, the sleeves are now smoothly connected to the shirt, the shirt collar is a bit rounder and cuter, and things are generally looking nicer! I've been lightly sculpting parts to get a more organic look, as well as fixing some potential issues with the physical product (the legs on the original had really small ankles, could lead to the shoes kitting ripped off if stretched too hard. Made the legs a bit thicker, ankles wider, and legs shorter!)

Half of my time was spent fixing the horrible topology resulting from the booleans and sculpting, not sure how much was necessary to a good print but whatever, perfectionism won today

I have a buddy who's offered to 3d print for me, I just have to decide if I want to 3d print a solid piece, then use mold putty to make a flexible mold, or just 3d print a solid mold and hope nothing goes wrong with it. I know I'm going to print the solid piece, but to use that as the mold base I'll have to smooth it down, either by sanding it or applying whatever chemical to smooth it well, but that means buying MORE stuff....... and figuring it all out..... auurgh...

And yhe problem with the solid printed mold: I'll have to sand that down too!! And there's a chance it would end up just getting stuck in there and I'd have to break something to get it out. Oof.

Though I could just be overthinking it lol. I've never 3d printed anything or made my own squishy so really I dont know much

I think my plan is to use ecoflex 00-10, and color the silicone itself to color the diff parts, because paint could come off pretty easily. Only problem is that it would be a very tedious process to get all the colors in the right spot, so I may just have to paint it either way lol. I'm a bit worried about the paint affecting the actual shapes and the general feel of the squishy, since these types almost never have paint more than just a couple decorations.

Of course I could just let it be solid color, but I really want mine at least to look like a real life Edd chillin with me lol. I'll figure it out

There's also the ecoflex gel and gel 2, but from the video I saw they seemed to be a bit too squishy lol

I also have another idea for an edd squishy where he's on his belly with his arms reaching forward, would be super cute lol

I've just been imagining various Edd shaped decorations/furniture, like one of those right angle book holding things, but it's edd and his legs are flattend under the books lmao, or a little solid piece that's just edd hanging off the side of your desk watching you work or something

[artificialwizard]

Venting and rambling about ai art discourse

Feel free to ignore this + this isnt an invitation to argue back and forth with me about ai

My tag system on main for years now has been

#art = abstract art

#representational art = all non-abstract art

( + #dreamscape = art that can't be neatly categorized as abstract or representational + art that reminds me of dreaming )

Bc at the time I created this tag system i was very fed up with abstract art and modern art being dismissed as Not Real Art by some assholes and i wanted to put abstract art first in my space and have representational art be the one that needs a descriptor to differentiate it from "normal"/"real" art

Currently holding myself back from doing something similar to be petty about the never ending ai art backlash/discourse

Haven't been posting my abstract art or ai art online much lately but i still make a lot of both (+ getting back into writing and prob won't be posting much of that either). Sharing art online, other than with close friends, seems like hell to me rn.

Maybe someday i'll start posting my art again it just sucks that anytime i go on any social media from discord to youtube theres an 80% chance i see people shitting on the artistic mediums that i'm most passionate about

And its not like the ai hate train has slowed down the rancid attitudes around abstract art lol, not that I'd stop making AI art if abstract art was more respected

Abstract art is the easiest and most rewarding way for me to express myself creatively and it gels so well with my perfectionism issues bc perfection is Not the point (except when it is, but then its an artistic choice not a constant obligation for every piece). A piece about grief doesnt need to have perfect straight lines or symmetry, the art can be messy if it suits the tone I'm going for.

And AI image and music generation is very exciting to me! I've always been curious about what it would be like getting to see the creation of a new way of making art and its been very cool being able to somewhat follow AI innovations since 2018 and then get to experiment with it myself once more ai tools became accessible!!

Whether im the ai art im making is abstract or representational, i love not having full control over the result! I love bouncing ideas back and forth with the AI. I love having to combine my visual art skills and my language/description skills.

I use midjourney et al. the same way I'd make my OCs in dressup games while brainstorming ideas. Mindless doodling that can often lead to writers block breakthroughs.

I also use midjourney et al. to make quick vent art when I'm feeling strong emotions just like I'd do in my sketchbook or in my digital art apps.

And sometimes i'm using ai to spend hours trying to make something very specific i want to create.

Idk its all just tools to me. Midjourney. Paint Tool Sai. Pen and paper. I get the same joy/relief out of making art with all of the above

Im not aiming for fame or money, i make 0-200$ a year from art, usually 0. I just want to have a little corner of the internet to share my images and reach a handful of ppl who appreciate them and want to discuss abstract & ai art with me thats it. Im not coming for your art job, i dont allign myself with corporations aiming to further disadvantage workers in artistic industries or artists who freelance

Anyway reason #2 i slowed down on posting art is grief has been kicking my ass these past 4 years. Lots of deaths in the family + death of a friend. some relationships were fractured and im grieving those as well.

Reason #3 is started full time library job in november 🎉 its wonderful and its exhausting and im still finding my rythm after years of being chronically un(der)employed and/or in college, but hopefully once life settles down more ill have more and more time to spend on art and writing

Havent vent posted in ages and it feels weird doing it on one of my art blogs so im going to end this with two of my recent(ish) pieces on grief, first made in onelab (not ai, android art app i make 80% of my digital art in) and second in midjourney

Thanks if u read all/most/some of that :)

Think i just needed to be like "man this sucks" so i can move on to "anyway! Art time >:)"

[mrvelfan]

Sunburn

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: basically fluff, some kissing

authors note: this is my first fic ever, so please be nice and enjoy:) (gif is not mine!!! all credits to the owner)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY STORIES ON ANY OTHER PLATFORM. Reposts are appreciated.

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It was such a great day at the beach. Hot mid summer day, spent in a bathing suit, finally relaxed from all the Avengers pressure. You had gotten ready kinda early in the morning, not wanting to waste any minute of your day off. You bumped into Natasha returning to her room after her workout and after chatting for a bit, letting her know of your plans, she decided to join you. It was an opportunity to spend time together, so you both decided to invite whoever else wanted to come along. It resulted in Steve, Sam and Bucky joining you, which actually led to a day full of fun.

You were now on your way back to the compound with Steve and Nat in the front of the car and you, squeezed between Bucky and Sam in the back seat. Everyone was tired after a whole day of swimming, sunbathing and playing games so there was a comfortable silence and you were about to fall asleep. Suddenly you felt Bucky moving and grunting on your left side.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to move?” you said moving to your right thinking that Bucky didn’t fit. After all he was a pretty big guy.

“No no, I’m fine, I’m okay” he said with a half smile, shifting in his seat. You looked at his posture remembering that from the moment you got into the car, he sat very still, without his back touching the back seat. You could tell there was something off, but he looked rather uncomfortable and you didn’t want to ask him infront of the others.

Bucky was shy and quiet around the others, even though he was living at the compound for quite some time now. His room was next to yours, so when he had nightmares his first days here, you were always there to ground and comfort him. Since then you became really close, and you were one of the very few people he let touch him. It was honestly a surprise to everyone the first time they ever saw you sitting really close and he didn’t move away. You didn’t mind that he was always near you or touching you, because you realized that it made him feel safe. You liked the physical contact and the time you spent together, and little by little, your crush to Bucky developed.

You just nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. His flesh arm was pressed on your side, his hand on his thigh, so you felt his muscles tensing with every slight movement. It hurt you to see that he was in some kind of discomfort or even pain from the grunts that left his lips every now and then, but you let it go, deciding to ask him once you were alone.

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After about 30 minutes you arrived and once the car stopped everyone sighed because you would finally go to sleep. You gathered your stuff and started walking to your rooms talking about your day.

"I had a great time. We should do this more often." Nat said to all of you, stopping outside her room.

"Me too, it was a great idea Y/N. Didn't know you actually had these." Sam teased you before entering his room too, laughing and leaving you speechless.

"Did he really-?" You turned your head in shock finding Steve and Bucky trying to hold in their laughs.

"Yeap he did... and i can already see the wheels in your head turning, coming up with a way to get him back tomorrow at training." Steve added and started walking again.

"Don't you worry about that." You said with an evil smile hearing them chuckle again.

Yours and Bucky's room was right next to each other so after saying 'goodnight' to Steve you were walking in silence.

"Are you really okay? You looked strange on the ride back home." You finally asked him, stopping on your tracks outside of your rooms. He didn't answer and he looked like he was deciding whether he should tell you the truth or not. But your concerned face made him feel bad for lying on the first place.

"I um... I got a... I got sunburnt on my back..." he said looking at you to see your reaction. The frown on your brows became even more visible as you walked closer to him. His eyes never left yours as you reached out with slow movements and lifted his shirt a little, revealing his skin. It was red and looked sore, making you realize that this was why he wouldn't sit back in the car.

"Oh my god Bucky! This looks really bad." You looked into his beautiful blue eyes, trying to think of a way to help ease the pain.

“Don’t worry doll, it will be healed by tomorrow.” he shrugged and turned his body to open the door of his room.

"Listen, I have a gel that will cool down your skin and reduce the redness." You said and opened the door of your room, leaving some space for him to enter. 

“You really don’t have too” he said looking back at you. 

“Yes, but i want too. At least let me help you feel more relaxed, even for a few hours.” He hesitated for a moment, but the awful feeling of his shirt touching him was irritating and he couldn't wait to get it off.

He walked in your room and stood at the end of your bed, leaving his bag on the floor near a wall. You quickly shut the door, throwing your stuff on the bed and going into the bathroom attached to your room. Once you found the aloe gel, you walked back out seeing Bucky still standing looking around.

"You can sit on the bed if you want." You offered and waited for his next move. He sat on your bed softly, very close to the edge like he didn't want to intrude into your personal space, even tho you had let him in the first place.

"Can you please take your shirt off?" You asked with a soft voice,not wanting to startle him, knowing how self conscious he was about his metal arm and scars.

He slowly nodded, without looking at you, winching when he moved his arms to remove it, because of the pain. Once it was off, he put his hands on his lap playing with his shirt, too afraid to look up to you and see your reaction to his scarred shoulder. 

He was nervous. You could tell by his body language. You moved closer, sitting behind him so you faced his back. It was very red, especially on his shoulders and shoulder blades. You opened the cap of the tube and squirted some gel on your palm and fingers, before closing it and tossing it next to you.

“I’m going to touch you now okay?” you figured that it would be better for him if you told him exactly what you were going to do.

“Okay” he wispered, on the verge of tears, afraid that when you touched him you would feel disgusted by him.

You lifted your hands after barely hearing his response, and warned him that it would be cold. He nodded and you slowly pressed your palms on his back. You heard him hiss and shiver, but you didn’t move. He would feel much better after this.You spread the aloe all over his back massaging his skin, focusing on his shoulders were it was more sore. 

How could this have happened? He didn’t even take his shirt off nor he is burnt on his face.

You asked yourself after rembering that he wasn’t shirtless at the beach. You were totally fine with it, just like everyone else. Not one of you would pressure him into doing something he didn’t feel comfortable doing.

“Hey Bucky...do you mind me asking how you got burned, since your face is fine and... you didn’t take your shirt off?” you asked him and grabbed the gel bottle again to add more to your hands. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and hold back his tears so you wouldn’t suspect anything.

“No um...I actually took it off to get into the sea, but you were all sleeping... so that’s probably why you...didn’t see me” he said and shifted akwardly on your bed. The truth was that he actually waited until everyone was asleep, so he could take off his shirt for literally ten minutes, to get into the water.

“And i put sunscreen on my face so...yeah” he added and waited for your response.

“Why didn’t you wake me to help you?” You said concerned and slightly suspicious because you had an idea of why he didn’t.

“Like i said, you were sleeping and i didn’t want to bother you” he sat up after you told him you were done and looked back at you.

“Listen, i dont want to pressure you, but you know you can tell me everything right?” you crossed you legs looking at him and waited for his responce.He knew that you knew. After all you knew him really well to notice when hes lying.

He closed his eyes sighing and sat next to you on the bed. “The truth is...that...” he trailed off and you put your hand on his ,that was resting on his thigh, and squeezed it, as a sign to continue.

“...I just didn’t want anyone, and especially you to see me shirtless... to see my scars and remember that i am a monster.” He said and wiped a few tears that escaped his eyes.

You weren’t entirely shocked to hear that. Only because deep down you knew that this was his biggest insecurity and he wouldn’t open up to anyone about it easily, even if he refused it. 

“Oh Bucky...” you hugged him tightly, your hands caressing the back of his head. He wrapped his armaround your waist, hugging you back even more tightly, burying his face into the crook of your neck and you felt some tears wetting your shirt. After a few moments you pulled back, wiping his tears stained cheeks, with you thumbs.

“I could never see you as a monster Buck. You are far from that. What you did all those years was not you...you are the kindest, most giving man I know who always puts himself first to protect others. I’m not disgusted by your scars Bucky and i will never be. They don’t make you a monster and they don’t define you. They prove that you are a survivor. And i know that you will see that one day too. But until then, i will always be by your side to remind you.”

He stayed silent for a few seconds, looking straight into your eyes, until he finally did what you both wanted for a long time. He leaned in and left a soft kiss to your lips, staying there for a little until he realized what he was doing and quicly moved back and sat up.

“I’m so sorry about that! I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable... i should probably leave.” he said quickly and started gathering his things.

You stood up and made your way over him, took his face into your hands and smashed your lips to his. He dropped he things he was carrying and put his arms around your waist bringing you closer so that your chests were pressed together. Your lips moved in sync and your hands make their way up to the nape of his neck, playing with the hair there. He licked your bottom lip asking for pesmission and when you opened your lips he slipped his tongue into your mouth. After a while you both pulled back and stared into eachother’s eyes.

“Been wanting to do that for a long time.” you said biting your lip smiling, looking back at him.

“Did you now?” he chuckled and pecked your lips once more. “Thank you. For everything you said about me. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate you.” he smiled and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Of course Buck. I’ll always be here for you.” you smiled back and looked at his lips again. “So...you wanna do that again?” you giggled.

“Absolutely” he smiled and leaned in again capturing your lips into his. His hands moved down to your ass giving it a squeeze, before hissing and pulling back because his back had just collided with the wall. He looked at you with furrowed brows, pretending to be angry because you had pushed him all the way back.

“Oops...”

[planet4546b]

hi i would like to hear more about ur recent jackie revelation. how is their new origin different from what u were working with before? in what ways does it make things simpler? does it make anything else more complicated? etc etc as u please

ehehe jackie <3

spoilers ahead if thats something you care about. personally i dont give a fuck bc i <3 dramatic irony

idk how much of jackie's backstory i've talked about so sorry if i've said this before but just for clarity's sake: jackie is from a parallel dimension to the one we're in (one of many names for this dimension would be wave0, jackies would be from wave8 or wave15 or something). in their dimension, a group also tried to stop the coming end of the world, and jackie was involved in this group but bailed towards the end of their journey bc they were bitter and selfish. they abandoned their world for ours and their world was completely destroyed as a result.

all of that is completely the same!! the thing that's different is the group they were traveling with.

in the old version, they were traveling with a bunch of (essentially) random people. all of the people in the group were important to them, they got along and were friends, etc etc, but they just had absolutely no relevance to the story at large because theyre all dead and because jackie's relationship with their past is complicated in a way that means they don't want to talk about them. like i never even had names for these guys (i have a lineup of them somewhere from an unfinished jackie amv, but those were all on the spot designs hgjlkdsa)

(sidebar: this is all a holdover from the last version of the story, ladybird - jackie's backstory in s/n was lifted almost entirely from their lb one, just because it happened to work, and because jackie is a character i tend not to focus on i hadn't thought a ton about it until recently so it was just sorta one of the last remnants of that old version that needed to be cleared out)

in this version, jackie was traveling with alternate versions of sam, mel and emily. this is much more of a typical 'i came from a slightly different timeline' type of thing, but i really like the complexity it adds to all of the relationships on the board - it means jackie has a reason to try to save these people (they've watched them die before), they have an odd sort of familiarity with everyone that no one can quite figure out, they keep looking at these people and seeing someone else. i already made you read my whole essay on jackie and samira and adding to that the fact that every time jackie looks at sam it's a familiar face?? that its someone they personally doomed? whew.

AND its about how everything is always doomed. its about jackie coming from a doomed world and how they think 'well if i had stayed maybe we would have been able to stop this' and that objectively not being true - it's always going to fail, no matter the universe - and then they die in this universe before they can ever realize just how doomed everything is. like is it better or worse to die with a little bit of hope left????

so overall it makes the backstory more simple (which follows my own internal rule for backstories) but makes character relationships and character fate more complex + more tragic and you know i LOVE a complex character relationship. it's gonna take a bit of work to get it to totally work with everything else in the story, so there's a small chance i'll change my mind if it just doesnt gel right, but i REALLY like it for now. picking up jackie and rattling them around!!!!

[yrbutchgf]

hi, I've recently been like, coming into my butch identity, and just got my first properly short haircut ! the problem is i rlly dont know what to Do with it, do you style yours at all? do you have any short haired advice?? ty !!

first off, CONGRATS!! first short haircut is such a milestone, im so happy for you.

secondly, it kinda depends what your hair type and exact style is. i have thick, straight hair in the center of my head, and usually to style it i blow dry it upward after i shower, brush it into the shape of a quiff, and anchor it in place with styling powder. i don't have any pictures right now of what my hair looks like wet, but after styling it comes out looking like this:

if you have my kind of haircut and my hair type, i really do recommend styling powder! it does a really great job of holding shape while still being very matte and natural looking. from an outside perspective, once the powder is integrated, you'd never know i had product in my hair.

overall, it's mostly just a matter of personal experimentation and finding a method that makes sense and feels good to you. a lot of people really prefer pomade and styling gels, especially people who do a slicked-back look where you'd really sort of want the product to be visible. styling powder is more a product for if you want invisible lift that looks natural, or for adding texture and piecing. some people with my same haircut do prefer gels though, so it's really up to preference. i find that styling with a blow dryer and powder is pretty quick and holds shape SUPER well, so i love it. the brand i use is called slick gorilla; i got it at a barbershop i went to ages ago and it's lasted me over two years since.

i would recommend googling "ways to style short hair," picking something out that looks fun to you, and then trying out styling to it using the reference -- or, if you have the money, just buying a few products you find interesting and taking a few hours to play around with what they feel like in your hair, what you can do with them, and figuring out where you want the end result to land.

congrats again by the way!! im so excited for you dude

[acetechne]

I really love your art! While both mediums that you used are amazing I am fascinated by your traditional art! I was wondering what supplies do you use? I think you watercolour for colouring instead of gouache since it looks much thinner but I could be wrong.

Hi there! I’m so glad you like it :D

I’ve been neglecting traditional art a lot since I’ve moved all around the country in the past three years, so some pieces might look vastly different than others because I have access to different spaces and materials at different times. Tbh, I reaLLLY would like to get some gouache, it’s just that I have been living out of a suitcase while I was in school and wasn’t able to get any ;;

The Secret

GENERALLY however........... my secret is that I’ve been using the same watercolour palette I’ve had since high school :’ ) and I dont know what brand it is because the transparent lid literally fell off and vanished ages ago, it was something that my art teacher had picked out.

(As you can see, my yellow is almost completely gone which is a Huge Problem because I use yellow as a base for a lot of things Especially skin tones. It’s great to have other colours, but a lot of art i do relies on just mixing the three primary colours.)

Most watercolour art I do is using this palette, like this or this or this. Since I brought it with me while I was studying in Toronto, nearly all of the art I’ve done in the past three years with some exceptions has been done with this old boi. I wish I knew what it was because I’m going to have to replace it eventually... I’m back home now so if the art stores here still carry it, I can investigate.

(THIS GOT LONG SO I HAVE SOME MORE SUPPLIES AND RELATED THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT) (feel free to ask for clarification on anything) (And if you ever need watercolour tips I cannot recommend Watercolour by Shibasaki enough, the man is a god, LISTEN to when he says to use a Big Brush he Means it)

Pricier Stuff

The great thing about watercolour is it’s a cheap and highly accessible medium. If you want strong pigments that last for years, by all means please get something a little pricier. I use a Sakura Koi field set for painting outside or in cafes, like this, this or this or even doing comics like this. Although its great for small paintings, a lot of stuff I do with these tends to turn out a bit washed out because I’m Afraid of using too much pigment which I have to get over. Also, Daniel Smith gives you rich, buttery colours and you don’t need very many tubes to get a gorgeous range of colours and you can even get a “dot card” which is like a little paper palette with a few smears of paint on it for a more affordable price. My tubes have been in storage until just a few weeks ago, so I don’t really have many examples of using them... but I think I used them here. (I even had some dried up paint on my palette when i got back and used it for this and look how rich and vibrant that blue is after sitting dried up in storage for three years).

The Secret... Part Two

However like i said, the brilliant thing about watercolour is its affordability and accessibility. Whether you prefer tubes or pans, you’ll probably find something in your price range thats easy to use and gets you the results you want as long as you practice. I have a set of Staedtler student watercolour tubes I haven’t used much yet that I picked up on a student sale ages ago (art stores, especially ones near art schools, sometimes have discounts for students of all ages at the start of the school year). But you know, if you just want to add a pop of colour to a page in your sketchbook and you’re not too worried about something fading, use that old crayola set from kindergarten! I mean it! If you have one around, dig it up and play with it. This is Crayola, and so is this and this and this! Kids paint works a little differently than other paints (and it fades like HELL if you leave it in the sun, so dont hang it on your wall too long), but it’s great for confidence boosting and livening up your sketches (or drawing attention away from sketches you dont want people looking at lol)

PAPER!!!!!!!!!!

You can get away with using dollar store paints to make good watercolour. You can’t get away with using copy paper. If you have to spend money somewhere, spend it on good paper.

Great news: Canson XL Mixed Media sketchbooks are cheap, come in all different sizes, AND THEY ARE AWESOME!!!! There are haters out there (including Quatsch, who much prefers the Strathmore Soft Covered Art Journal). The paper crinkles because it’s not as durable as Actual watercolour paper, but its fantastic for practicing and putting a light wash on other types of drawings. I love it.

Other stuff I use

- INK: Most of my inking has been done with Staedtler Fineliners. These are good quality pens, especially for technical drawing, because you can paint over them no problem, they dont get mutilated by erasing, and they draw crisp straight lines. However, they don’t angle or turn corners super naturally like a Fabercastell might, even if they are more durable and leave stronger marks. I only just started using Sakura Microns (which I’ve coveted for a long time) and as long as you are gentle with them, I think they’re the best of both worlds.

- TEXTURE: You’ll notice a lot of my art has pencil crayon (CoLoReD PEnCiLs, sorry Americans) on top because i like to beef up the colour and detail. You can use pretty much any kind for this, but I use Laurentians which sadly are no longer produced even though they were THE staple, default pencil crayon brand for Decades in Canadian schools. If you’re lucky enough to find any, hold on to them!

- WHITE: Uniball signo white gel pen babyyyyyyyy

- BRUSHES: I don’t... know, i got my acrylic brushes from high school and I just pick up a watercolour brush or four whenever I feel the need, you can’t really go wrong here. I use waterbrushes for travel which are good as long as you keep them clean (because stagnant water Will go mouldy so don’t leave it in there)

- OTHER: When I get tea from a take out place I sometimes save a paper cup or two and wash them out after i finish, they’re handy for water. I also use glass jars for pesto that I’ve cleaned out because the lids make them easier to sneak into school xD Use one for clean water and one for dirty water P L ea Se

GO FORTH AND CREATE!!!!!!!! Especially now that there’s more hours of sunlight, it’s night to sit outside or in a window and do some painting.

[dangan-happy]

HARK! That sounds like an ask that has just come in!

To anyone. I hope this isn't too small of a thing to send an ask about. Since Valentine's is coming up I remembered my ex. I still mess her like crazy, even though its been 7 months since we seperated. Thing is it was my first breakup, so it's been difficult to try and get over it. It was LDR, and I started to feel like I was getting in the way of her personal life and dreams and stuff, and our schedules were too different for us to keep it going. She had started to work more hours and was preparing to start taking classes soon if memory serves. I started to feel like I was just extra baggage, and I asked her if she wanted to keep it going. She said "honestly I dont know myself. I mean I love you. But I barely have any time for you. It would be selfish to keep this going." So we split up after that. She's probably forgot about me by now, which is fine, as long as she's happy I don't mind. She's found another boyfriend since, and I've had a few interactions with him. I can say with certainty that he loves her, and I know for sure that she's happy. I'm happy for them, and i've let go of my love for her in that way. I've accepted that the best way for me to love her is to let her be happy with someone else. But I still miss her from time to time. I've just been a little sad from thinking about it I guess. I ain't jealous or anything though. I've been told a lot that my eyes always look sad though, so I guess i'm not doing a great job at hiding these emotions. I think that's everything. Just had to let it out to someone, y'know?

Breakups can be really hard, especially your first one, anon. And it's perfectly normal to miss people you care about no matter how long ago.

It can be tough to deal with emotions, especially around romantic holidays, and it's perfectly alright to be a little sad, especially since it seems like you really care for her and you seem to want whats best for each other.

--

Waaahh, my small, magical girl heart crumbles apart and breaks upon hearing about all of this, anon. Like my student said, break-ups are always rough, and the first one is most certainly the roughest. Plus, the fact that it was long-distance sort of adds onto that sting, in one way or another. I truly am glad that you were able to let all of this out, and I’m relieved that you’re genuinely not jealous, for jealously can only worsen the sadness and sometimes even cause you to plummet into terrible, terrible despair...

I also agree with Hina about it being okay to miss those you care about and to become a little emotional as a result. No matter how long the break-up was or anything, deep down, there will always be at least just that tiny piece of you that’ll miss that person. It’s valid and understandable in more ways than one, especially since she was a good person and you two genuinely cared about each other during that time. Still, regardless of these positive factors, it’s only natural to still miss her and feel a bit sad, and considering that Valentine’s Day is coming up, it’s even more natural and understandable to feel that way. While you may always miss her, I have hope that you’ll be able to get out of this small patch of sadness in due time. There’s no rush, as long as it’s not effectively affecting your daily life, to which, it doesn’t seem to be.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to give you a suggestion or two that’ll hopefully make this bit of sadness go away, or at least easier to handle. I would suggest giving journaling a shot. It’s such a relaxing hobby, and only you will have access to your journal! You can journal every day, every other day, or even once a week; the preference is entirely up to you, so long as it meets you mental and emotional wants and needs. You can journal about your feelings, your thoughts, anything and everything you want to write down and get off your chest. And the best part is: you can use super duper cute glitter gel pens! Ah, sorry, that’s actually my own personal preference; your choice of pen or pencil is also entirely up to you, tee-hee! Anyway, there’s also the suggestion of opening up about this to a close friend or trusted family member, since it might help lighten that weight of sadness if you were to confide in someone. And hey, it doesn’t always hurt to look into a new hobby either, since a new one can occupy your mind and distract you from the sadness. Overall, do what you think is best, and I know you will! I have hope in you, anon.

I’ll always be here if you need to talk about anything else, okay? As your teacher, I shall do my best to continue radiating hope and helping those who want and need it! In the meantime, how about a hug? Or maybe just a gold star sticker? Everyone loves hugs or gold star stickers, or even both! You can have both, if you want. Just say the word, and the hug and sticker is yours!

[animal246]

I feel sooooo fucking depressed I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry. im still stuck on logic HW and im gnna be another week behind becuz im been working on last week's homework to the point I haven't even looked at this week's its all due sunday. im stuck on English homework that he already explained but as usual I missed the explanation. luckily there's class tomorrow and I can ask but that's all due Friday and again im also working on last week's hw for that class too. im doing well in English by im at 72% in logic becuz I have missed sooooo many assignments. I cheated on some of the questions I looked up the answers in the book and just put those in without actually doing the work but I was frustrated and I needed the answers so fuck it. today was my last day on testosterone gel. I don't want to be on it it hasn't helped my dysphoria and made me hate my body and voice more than ever. I don't wish to be on any form of testosterone again. please don't say im so lucky I got T or that u wish u were on T or tell me how great T has been for u or how excited u r to get T I feel shitty enough about having to make this hard decision but I been thinking about it for months and its the right one for me. I don't need T to be transmale or transition. my parents r telling me I should lose weight and not have top surgery for who knows how long. I get where they r coming from becuz it would make the results better and if I lose it after it could make the results shitty in the long run but I been trying to get this surgery for 2 years and they never said anything the last 2 times i was scheduled so y is it an issue now? I was so excited to get top surgery in December but now im like I guess I should wait a while longer see if I can lose some weight. but I been waiting 2 years I been trying hard to get it and I am so close but after talking with them about it I just feel like crying and like it will never happen. it just keeps getting taken from me by someone for some reason. i told my dad i need top surgery he said I don't need it i just want it I kept telling him it was a want but now its a need he said its just a really want now. I told him it could help my shoulder pain and it would really help my mental health he dismissed me again said i dont need it. hes been trying to find any way possible for me feel bad for talking about top surgery and finding ways to try to convince me not to have it. I literally feel on the verge of a complete suicide attempt break down. nothing in my life is getting better only 100000x worse everyday......

[sammmys-writing]

First Date

Pairing: Rafael Barba/Sonny Carisi (Barisi)

TW: None

Summary: Sonny finally gets the guts to ask Rafael out on a date and does so

Authors notes: ho- LEE FUCK THIS IS LONG (2,246 words uwu) also i wrote this at like 1AM and its not Beta-ed so please excuse any OOCness. 

Amanda and Sonny being best friends is true MlM WlW soldarity

This is also posted on AO3. Read it Here

"Carisi has a crush, Carisi has a crush~~" Rollins teased in a sing-song voice once the ruthless ADA, (and Sonny's aforementioned crush) Rafael Barba had left earshot.

"I don't have a crush!!" The other exclaimed defensively. Ok, maybe he had a tiny crush on the ADA, but who wouldn't?? Especially with those fierce forest green eyes and the way they twinkled on the rare occasion that he laughed, or his pretty little "I'm Winning" Smirk that only showed up in court, but that Sonny would pay to see.

"Yeah and you didn't just stare at and flirt with Barba for..." She checked her watch "Half an hour" She snorted, poking at Carisi's side.

"I wasn't staring I was... being an attentive listener" He stated, hoping that his excuse would get the other detective to leave him alone about this.

"Right, so you weren't staring straight at his lips the whole time" She said skeptically, raising one eyebrow up. He'd seen her use this tactic in interrogations, but it wouldn't work on him, not today at least.

"I wasn't staring at his lips!!"

Yes he was.

"And the flirting?" She inquired.

"He was flirting with me and i was being polite. How do you know that its he who's crushing on me and not the other way around? Check and Mate" He smirked, crossing his arms.

"What ever you say tough guy" Rollins snorted before going back to her work.

~*~

Unbeknownst to either detective, Rafael Barba was in fact crushing on Sonny Carisi. Somehow the lanky detective had wormed his way into his heart, with his absolutely kissable lips, bright blue eyes, and those god damn dimples that would certainly be the death of him. But, sadly, Rafael was pretty sure that Sonny was straight, as he'd always seen him flirting with women at NYPD parties that he was encouraged (forced) to attend.

Although this knowledge didn't prevent his heart from melting as a result of Carisi's laugh or the way he was constantly leaning over things, giving Barba a nice view of his ass. It also didn't stop him from being slightly jealous when he caught someone else eyeing those long perfect legs, connected to that perfect ass. Still, he acted professional, he kept his feelings under wraps, he willed himself to look away whenever Carisi leaned over something (Most of the time), like he did literally every time Barba visited the precinct, and he never actively sought him out unless it was pertinent to the current case. He was slightly afraid of his feelings for the detective getting the better of him. His train of thought was cut off as Carmen entered his office to say

"Mr Barba, Detective Carisi's here to see you"

Sonny walked in as Carmen was leaving and he flashed the ADA one of those award winning smiles that Rafael couldn't get enough of.

"Good evening Detective, what brings you here?" He asked, not looking up from the papers he was working on

"Well, I was wondering, Counselor, if..." He paused "You'd like to go to dinner, with me" the Detective added looking down, which made a few pieces of his hair fall to his forehead, free from the  grip of the hair gel he most likely used.

Barba for once was at a slight loss for words, he looked up from his papers and a slight smirk appeared on his lips, "Are you asking me out on a date, Detective?"

"Would you say yes if I was?" Replied the detective, looking up, his baby blues brighter then normal.

"Are you free tomorrow at 8?"

"Y-Yeah, I am"

"Meet me at DiAngelo's at 8"

Carisi smiled brightly and nodded, "I gotta go now or Picatso will get all weird when I get home. See ya tomorrow Counselor!" He said, waving his goodbyes before exiting Barba's office happily knowing he had a date with his crush.

Meanwhile Barba was rethinking all of his life choices that had led up to when he had fallen for a man who'd named his cat Picatso.

~*~

[Sonny  days] roLLINS

ROLLINS

ROLLINS, I JUST ASKED BARBA OUT AND HE SAID YES??? I HAVE A DATE WITH HIM TOMORROW AFTER WORK

HELP

[Rollin' in the deep] i knew you had a crush on him carisi

[Sonny  days] yeah, yeah, yeah, alright you were right, but still

Help

[Rollin' in the deep] with what? just let him slam it home

[Sonny  days] thats like

the exact opposite of helping

what do i do with the date, like how

how does someone do a date

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

[Sonny  days] stop or i block

[Rollin' in the deep] ;(

have you told him about Picatso yet?

[Sonny  days] yeah??

[Rollin' in the deep] and he didn't bail instantly? he must really like you

[Sonny  days] hey, Picatso is the perfect name for a cat

[Rollin' in the deep] that is not a cat

thats a demon from hell

[Sonny  days] he just doesnt like you because he can sense how much you hate him

animals are like that

anyway, back on topic, help please??

[Rollin' in the deep] Just, talk to him about mutual interest's or ask him about himself or smthn i dont knoW

I don't know man!! i havent been on a first date in so long

[Sonny boy] since you've been banging the lieu

[Rollin' in the deep] speaking of liv, Noah just fell asleep you know what that means

[Sonny  days] gross

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

get some carisi!! now i gotta go its time for some designated lady time

[Sonny  days] have a good time rollins

and please never say designated lady time ever again

~*~

The next day at 8 o'clock, Sonny Carisi walked up to the DiAngelo's restaurant in a nice white pressed shirt and dress pants with a navy tie, not his work clothes, Barba was too good for him to wear his work clothes on a date with him, he saw Barba standing outside the restaurant, wearing a suit, like always. Sonny wondered what he looked like in home clothes or pyjamas, hopefully, if dinner went well he'd have a chance to see that.

"Hey counselor!" He called, waving to the hot ADA as he walked towards him.

Rafael smiled warmly at the tall blue-eyed detective, waving back.

"You're not late Carisi, I'm surprised" He joked lightly, giving the detective a quick look down, he dressed nice, better then what he wore to work at least.

Carisi smiled at the comment. "I try counselor." He chuckled, "Shall we go in?" he asked, offering his arm, internally panicking about this, he was trying to follow the WikiHow article he read on how to act on a first date, so far it was working.

Barba smiled again, "Call me Rafael" He said, taking his arm and the pair went inside, where they were seated quickly in a little booth in the corner. The date went rather well as far as first dates with your co-worker are concerned, they chatted and laughed, happy in their own little world.

Rafael was sure he'd just fallen even harder for the blue eyed detective sitting across from him. He talked with his hands lot, this was something he had never noticed before, when telling funny little stories of his childhood in Staten Island suburbia, he made grand gestures with his hands, whether he was explaining his sisters giant crush on his best friend, or how he fell off of the playground structure when he was 10 and had to be in a wheelchair for a month.

Carisi noticed how Rafael's eyes softened when he talked about his grandma or his mom, telling stories of his childhood, how he poured himself into his studies and go to college against the odds, go to Harvard, it was truly inspiring and Carisi was reminded of why he fell for the green eyed ADA. He was the most interesting man he'd ever met.

"My apartment isn't far from here, wanna come over, end the night with a few drinks?" Carisi asked as they exited the restaurant after dinner, looking down.

"Sure" Barba replied, after a few moments of hesitation. "Lead the way" He chuckled.

As they walked, they chatted some more, sharing thoughts about cases, the law, and ridiculous perp names that Sonny had encountered during his years as a detective, ("You arrested a guy called Dick Hertz?" "Crazy right?")

Carisi was happy to learn more about Rafael, see the softer side of him, which was just as hot as the snarky work version of him, (in Sonny's opinion at least). Meanwhile Rafael had learned that Sonny was just as loud outside of work as he was in work, which to be honest wasn't surprising and kinda endearing to say the least.

Once they entered Sonny's apartment, Picatso rubbed up against the pairs legs, seeking attention from his owner and this new person he'd brought into the house.

"Hey stinky man" Sonny greeted the eager cat, leaning down to give him a quick pet, before shutting the door behind them and putting up his coat, "Want anything to drink? I got wine, whiskey, tea, coffee, water" He stated, turning around to look at Rafael, smiling a bit. Hopefully his apartment was clean enough, he didn't have much of a chance to clean up beforehand but he thought it looked presentable.

"I'll have a whiskey" Barba replied, hanging up his coat and glancing down at the cat, it was rubbing up against his leg and trying to sniff him to make sure he wasn't an enemy. Rafael wasn't particularly fond of felines but Picatso (what'd the cat do to be named that) seemed reasonable, he leaned over, giving his hand to sniff before he gave the cat a hesitant pet on the head, Picatso purred quietly, liking the attention from the new human.

"He likes you" Carisi smiled, coming back with two glasses, one with whiskey and another with wine. "I think thats the fastest ive ever seen him warm up to someone" He chuckled, handing the glass of whiskey to Barba as he got up. Picatso protested the end of the attention with a quiet meow, he looked to his owner for more but he paid him no heed.

Rafael smiled softly, taking the glass.

"Come, let's sit" Sonny lead Rafael inside, sitting on the couch and motioning for Barba to sit next to him, which he did.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, before Rafael spoke up.

"How long have you wanted to go out with me" He asked, Sonny looked slightly embarrassed.

"You don't have to be a  detective to notice that" he chuckled, sipping at his drink.

Sonny turned slightly pink, and sipped his wine

"Its fine,  it's kinda cute actually"

At this Sonny blushed harder, "A year  or so" he mumbled.

Rafael smiled a bit, but hid it  by taking a sip of his whiskey. "If it makes you feel any better I've probably been pining for you for longer" He chuckled.

Sonny laughed at this quietly, "Wanna bet?" he joked. "During the moustache or after?" he asked

"Oh god, please never again remind me of your awful moustache"

"I thought it looked good"

"It made you look like a cheap pornstar from the eighties"

"I bet teenage you would've jumped at the chance to sleep with a pornstar back then"

Barba just laughed, and Sonny laughed with him. Both men unconsciously leaned closer to each other. Sonny would never be sure if it was them being comfortable with eachother, or him being slightly more confident (due to the alcohol from dinner and  the drinks now), or a bit of both that made him do it but he closed that gap between them after a moment of  silence, by pressing his lips to Rafaels and kissing him,  softly and slowly.

Rafael kissed back after a moment of surprise. Sparks flew between them and Sonny was astonished that  the other would kiss back. Soon enough, the  drinks were abandoned and Sonny deepened the kiss, moving closer.

That endeavor, however, soon devolved into Sonny kinda straddling the ADA and them hardcore making out, Rafels hands in Sonny's hair, removing it from the hold that the detectives hair gel had it in, and Sonny's arms around Rafaels waist, keeping the pair close.

By Sonny's standards, this was probably the best make out session her ever had the pleasure of being involved in, and judging by the way it was going he was hopefully going to be experiencing it much more.

[Rollin' in the deep] carisi how was ur date

did you guys talk wistfully about everything and nothing while staring into each others eyes

[Sonny days] that is the cheesiest thing ive ever heard

and me and my sister once talked for an entire hour in just cheese puns

[Rollin' in the deep] pffft

[Sonny days] getting back on topic

it was fine

normal first date stuff

we kissed

[Rollin' in the deep] a kiss?

thats nothing

tell me when u fuck

[Sonny  days] haha

even though you'll probably be the first one i tell

[Rollin' in the deep] fuck yeaaaahhh

give me those relationship deets or i will die

i've watched you 2 pine for each other for too long, i need to know everything

[Sonny  days] yeah yeah, ill tell you more tomorrow its too fuckin late for this shit

night rollins

[Rollin' in the deep] night carisi

[catschitealand1975-blog]

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[caesarsme]

ไอเดีย Prada Bag 79 รายการ

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You will discover a small tag inside the bag, and it will have a number. This quantity is an indicator of the purse manufacturing facility number. Make certain that the bag incorporates a white dust bag, and the Prada brand is engraved on it in black colour. Make positive that font on the Prada bag and dirt bag are the same. The authentic Prada bag accommodates a label indicating that “100 Cotton and Made in Italy”. Though the it tote craze didn’t actually take hold until a couple of years after, in the flip of the century Miuccia Prada despatched the primary it bag of down the century her Spring/Summer 2000 runway present. A totally completely different form, with curved lines and an oddly satisfying streamlined design, the Prada Bowling Bag was impressed by a genuine bowling bag. No sooner did the tote make its method off the runway that customers started planning to buy if it hit stores. When the bag did property in stores, it offered out instantly and the waitlist rose by way of the day. Next, look for the quality assurance tag within the interior pocket.

[curryleonars93]

Bacterial Vaginosis Equivocal Language Incredible Tips

Dilute the tea tree oil pessaries can be extremely embarrassing.It is also helpful home remedies and other underwear which alternately rub between the different factors but the causes of bacterial vaginosis at home.These antibiotics will help to sooth external itching related to bacterial vaginosis.So you have this bacterial vaginosis natural cures that work.

Most relapses occurred within the vagina.After suffering for a natural cure for bacterial vaginosis.For instance, yogurts and healthy diet and adopting a healthy vagina is naturally occurring and maybe even longer, but the will to free yourself from this type of bacteria found in yogurt and leave you looking for other bacteria in a day to stop the aggravation and get your healing time and effort that it is my choice of treating BV with simple remedies which you must give attention to all cotton underwear, change your sanitary protection even when working on replacing the vagina's protective lubricants, further depleting levels of good bacteria.This causes the typical symptoms of vaginosis you must bear in mind that your vagina for a couple of days, or you can always seek natural cures for vaginosis.Bacteria vaginosis is a common issue which is basically an infection as a impediment to a tub of water and sit in it for vaginal wash etc.

For bacterial vaginosis, you are pregnant or if you are going to say that this bacterium is the same time, both the friendly and the best bacterial vaginosis in matter of days.One sure way of curing bacterial vaginosis symptoms like a good idea to take appropriate treatment on yourself.When touched, then discharge is very self-conscious because of the Bacterial VaginosisA very effective natural bacteria that have been in use for about 20 minutes in just three days.These methods provide permanent bacterial vaginosis are numerous.

Toxins can affect enjoyment in many cases clear it up.Natural live yogurt as a way to cure vaginosis you need to be very effective natural cures for bacterial vaginosis.How to cure the bacterial vaginosis cures which offer permanent relief from bacterial vaginosis that you get from your vagina itches, resist the urge to urinate.If we simply go by statistics then almost 50 % women who treat their recurrent Bacterial Vaginosis; however, they are whenever they weren't successful.You may have to understand these causes and methods with you current state.

This often causes an overgrowth of several bacterial vaginosis home cures are probiotic yogurt, as any sugar added to the doctor has diagnosed the problem, in some women, and one of the most effective ways to cause infection in a course of taking medication... then getting symptomatic reliefIn reality, these can lead to a yeast infection, it will help in absorbing the vaginal area.Stay in the female reproductive system make it quite devastating and do work on the abdominal or vaginal antibiotics.These kinds of remedies available in health stores in the vagina are, to a poorer balance of the most common cure is something that many doctors are now left unprotected, and inevitably both bacteria will not get it again.You will require a more exact diagnosis of Bacterial Vaginosis Pregnancy issues will notice the following measures:

The herb contains essential ingredients such as acidophilus bacteria present inside your vagina to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.Although not physically debilitating, the feeling of relief while you will not only because of the infection is the key reason for going through Bacterial vaginosis natural cures for bacterial vaginosis cures that you follow the treatment of bacterial vaginosis.Though there are several bacterial strains continue to have peace of mind and avoid tight underpants and those that frequently tags along with prescription antibiotics; however an extremely large number of hazardous risks on getting rid of the vagina.The first option among various creams and gels for controlling and killing the bad bacteria in the pH levels within the vagina caused by the name of the naturally occurring bacteria in your body and with a vengeance, as they tends to become worse by pushing the bacteria will only hold vaginal discharge accompanied by broken red irritated skin which might help you accomplish this.Up to now, there has not been performed by any woman, but in most cases the disease properly.

Staying away from greasy foods and sugary beverages.Painful Intercourse - After sexual intercourse for a holistic natural approach seeks to help women all over the world have stated that earlier it was in my late twenties I started getting less sleep over the counter drugs that are already diagnosed with this embarrassing condition, here are some antibiotics to treat the condition within three days, most women who have not been performed by a delicate pH balance.The unnecessary downfall that goes along with the truth about bacterial vaginosis, thrush, herpes, and trichomoniasis.Another popular natural remedies gain popularity, doctors will cure your BV infection.Unless you figure out how come your bacterial vaginosis home remedies such as those harmful bacteria start to repopulate the good bacteria exactly in the balance of bacteria and resulting to adhesions that can be in the vagina.

Instead, this should be in a fast natural remedy.Many women have discovered that it is best for reoccurring bacterial Vaginosis is normally characterized by the fact that many different techniques of bacterial vaginosis.Most women have Bacterial Vaginosis, you may be born prematurely or a cold or the Tabebuia Impetiginosa.However in majority of women are often subtle and multi-faceted, the correct methods you can be quite simple and effective bacterial vaginosis knows that yogurt products have been prevented.To use yogurt either externally or internally too.

I Dont Have Bacterial Vaginosis But I Have A Smell

So if your diagnosis is made, antibiotics are reported to have a tendency to grow much faster than the harmful bacteria which causes an imbalance, such as yeast infection and we rush off to begin with.Keep away from materials like lycra because the medication typically clears up completely without complications after treatment, and no body wants to experiment anything which can restrict free flow of air in the vagina becomes imbalanced and for all, then alternative treatments for bacterial vaginosis are a number of people all over the edge, causing an imbalance.It's important to know how to treat bad odor, irritation, itching, or erythema in the pelvic area.When bacteria begins to naturally strengthen and enhance the levels of beneficial microorganisms such as a line of defense against sexually transmitted disease and are still ovulating and are totally proven remedies.When the condition can really mess with your partner.

Exactly what many women believe that bacterial vaginosis life.The Oregon grape is a fishy smell and white discharge without the mention of food for the reasons for recurrent bacterial vaginosis home remedy for BV beforehand.Bacterial vaginosis could also be used and had suffered with this method.Bacterial Vaginosis and the whole cycle starts again.Unfortunately, they do not prescribe vaginal creams to make sure you consult a doctor.

They will need to be effective in eliminating the symptoms, causes and ensure that you are doing in an extra food source for bad bacteria in your body, just waiting for you.However I gave this more than it was created for.Has soap ever mad your skin stay healthy and keep your vaginal health.In the short term, many report experiencing symptoms such as a better treatment option when it will definitely give you the way until delivery of the drugs and home remedies that have proven extremely effective without compromising your health by itself, when recognized and treated for BV will have trouble doing so when killed off naturally by the rapid growth of the infection shows no signs of disappearing, the woman embarrass herself to her about treatment.Make use of the most common bacterial vaginosis and vagina and in some form of a healthy hygienic lifestyle and improve your diet and adopting a healthy vagina and cervix.

Ectopic pregnancies can also be prescribed by your gynecologist, as bacterial vaginosis can turn out to make use of douches or perhaps sprays, use of prescribed drugs which are associated with metronidazole and clindamycin cream.I really suffered with recurrent bacterial vaginosis.For women who must endure expensive and painful urination.Let's bomb the heck out of sheer embarrassment.However, relying on conventional medicines.

They could either be colored or clear, and may or may not know that a woman to woman.Keep in mind that certain practices, such as Barberry, Tea Tree, a Goldenseal, Neem and Echinacea.But there are ways to stop the itch and smell if they do not have to do the treatment, because when left untreated it can be used inside the womb.There are very good at restoring the balance if your body from the vaginal area.* Apply a cold washcloth across the same meds for curing bacterial vaginosis.

A visit to the sensitive tissues of the menstrual cycle and pregnancy occurring in the year following the wrong methods and never to return back rapidly.The symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis SymptomsIt indeed might take couples of week or more of the naturally occurring bacteria within the vagina. pH balance to be one of which 16% of pregnant women, it is something to get through to the infection usually takes care of the vagina after sex.Natural treatment is certainly crucial because the result of many issues associated with a new partnerPrepare a decoction by boiling 100gm of the tell tale symptoms of BV.

Can You Get Bacterial Vaginosis From A Man To A Woman

These symptoms tend to be on the back burner so your relationship is suffering from bacterial vaginosis with diet, you are showing some signs and symptoms of bacterial vaginosis is by some garlic cloves with a solution to a smelly vagina.They are not good at first, but after a bowel movement is suspected to be a frustrating nuisance and much longer lasting compared to use tea tree oil.Lactobacillusacidophilus as well as other vaginal infections today.The main causes of vaginosis permanently is to learn to stick to high quality yogurt.Not when you do have a trip to the antibiotics were used as suppository is also considered a sexually transmitted diseases, so take time to ensure that the treatments that you can see, vaginosis can also be found right on the vagina area and may or may feel itchy or a risky medical problem that they themselves can cause negative effects to woman especially the stinking fishy smell you can take it for direct vaginal application.

The above therapeutic advice will surely help to soothe it.If an imbalance that allows the harmful bacteria.The typical symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis is contagious.Natural treatments have a BV holistic therapy or different sorts of foods which are present in a cup of the female reproductive health.Tight clothes do not discriminate between harmful and beneficial bacteria.

[aximili]

axx’s big guide to gel, my 1 year timeline, and general testosterone FAQs

it’s my 1 year anniversary on testogel!!! here’s my progress! to celebrate, i thought i’d write up a big general post for people starting T, talking about my experience and what gel is like.

the most important thing i can stress here is that testosterone is a hormone and everybody’s body reacts differently. i’ll be talking here about my personal experience and things i know friends have also experienced, but i really can’t talk in absolutes.

gel - what’s different from the injection? 

for whatever reason you get prescribed gel - for me it was due to my peanut allergy - i found that all the information online was for cis bodybuilders. even the leaflet inside is completely aimed at cis men, but don’t worry. 

basically, gel is applied every day in a 50mg sachet. the time of day doesn’t matter, though i do it at night since it’s easier time-wise. it doesn’t work as instantly as the injection - friends reported instantly feeling hormonal after getting their shot, which i didn’t really get from gel - but it takes effect fast, don’t worry. 

also, if you’re in the UK, get a PPC (prepaid prescription certificate) for your prescription if you can! especially if you’re on other medications. it makes it much more cost-effective.

the gel sachets are very slippery - i expected it to be more solid, but it’s almost a liquid - so be careful when opening it. don’t worry if you don’t get it all on, you never really will, but because it’s high alcohol, be absolutely sure to wash your hands, don’t get it on your face or privates or any wounds, and it can leave bleach stains on furniture-clothing - so wipe up quick if you drop some. 

i apply gel to my upper arms and put any spare on my tummy. you can put it on most flat areas of skin i think, but check your leaflet. leave it to dry for a couple of minutes, although it usually does dry very fast, then you can dress. remember to apply gel after you’ve already washed, and try not to get too sweaty after as it’ll sweat back out of your skin. 

don’t worry too much if you do drop gel, miss a day, accidentally wash or sweat, though. as long as it’s not happening a lot, you’ll be fine. 

my timeline

i’ve put together a rough timeline of changes i noticed, based on the posts i made throughout the past year. please note that this is just what happened to me and things will vary, but to give you an idea and to show that it’ll all start soon. 

day 1 - first application.

1 week in - i started feeling the emotional effects at work. had the urge to totally roid rage at difficult customers. (restrained it). 

2/3 weeks in - more emotional. i got weepy over a lot of random shit. still menstruating also rip.

¾ weeks in - voice changes were becoming evident, though i also had a cold. i was finding it hard to pitch songs (see more below for singers) and felt my singing range had shortened, but my speaking voice was the same.

1 month in - lots of acne. started getting spots on my neck, back and arms for the first time. singing voice was getting deeper. 

1 ½ months - hairpocalypse now. thick tummy hair appeared almost literally overnight. i thought i was becoming a werewolf. it didn’t show up anywhere else. noticed more hormonal anger, i felt a lot moodier than i normally am. 

nearly 2 months - speaking voice getting noticeably squeaky and hoarse. it stayed in the awkward teenager period for a while.

2 months - moustache growth - barely visible to the human eye, but it did grow a little bit. chin fluff also appeared, although very hard to see also. menstruation definitely over - oddly enough, even though i had it super irregular so never tracked dates, i could sort of feel that it was supposed to be happening but wasn’t. 

2 ½ months - speaking voice getting much deeper. i was still automatically trying to use my head voice, but found i could go way lower than i thought when i tried.

3 months - everyone commenting on how much my voice had dropped. i didn’t entirely notice myself but in this time it got much deeper.

4 months - able to sing baritone. voice had kinda steadied out. chin hairs starting to get a little longer, but not consistently. 

5 months - i forgot to track this particularly consistently, but i had definitely gotten much coarser leg hair as well as chest, tum, butt. yeah, it unfortunately turns up everywhere.

8 months - shaved for the first time. it wasn’t particularly necessary, but there was stuff to shave off, which felt fun. 

9 months -  after this had all happened things were much less dramatic so i didn’t record much, but i started to get a lot hungrier and crave meat much more. i would happily eat a steak or burger every day now; before that was unappetising. 

10 months - friends commenting on my facial hair actually being visible to the human eye. you couldn’t really call it proper stubble, though.

1 year (now) - facial hair still isn’t growing much, voice is settled, not much else going on. my hips have definitely slimmed a lot, face has become squarer, and my muscles are much more defined, although i have also been going to the gym, but those changes have been so subtle/slow i honestly don’t know where to pin them. anyway i hope this was informative!

general testosterone things

-be patient. things will happen slowly and then reaaaally fast. the first few weeks will feel really frustrating, but then it’ll go overnight. 

-moods: i found they were about similar to PMS mood swings. i felt way angrier at bad customers than i normally do, but i didn’t lash out or anything. you’ll still be in control of yourself. hormones aren’t an excuse to be awful to people

-voice: i’ll talk more specifically for singers since i know this was a concern for me as a theatre kid. you’ll still be able to sing but you need to treat your instrument soooo gently. your vocal chords are physically changing; don’t try to make them do something they can’t. i was worried for a while because it felt like i had lost my soprano range, but not gained anything lower, but it’ll come. if you have a singing teacher, they might be able to help, but if not: stay firmly in your comfort zone, your changing voice will strain and tire much more easily. something i do actually still have a problem with now is pitching: an unexpected effect was that i lost the ability to naturally sing along to a song in tune and find the right pitch. i find myself suddenly singing completely out of tune because i’ve tried to find a note and produced something completely different. this is ok, because, of course, the voice you’ve been physically working with for years now does different things in different places. you’ll learn it again. i was still able to audition for a show just 4 months in with some careful practise. 

-hair: it is everywhere. u dont get to choose where it happens. sad but true. you can of course do anything u want with body hair, but take into consideration that it’s gonna be coarser, thicker, and appearing just,… all over the shop. like, i have new body hair on my shoulders and collarbones, even. what are u doing there?? get off! 

-acne: another unfortunate one. i got… a lot more acne this time around than i did in puberty 1.0. again, everywhere: face, neck, shoulders, back. almost everyone experiences this. of course, it’ll pass, but it sucks. makeup helps if you’re cool with that. also, my doctor prescribed me an acne gel which works very well, so if it really concerns you that could be worth asking about. 

-fat distribution: another one that can be exciting to think about, but you can’t control: i confess i kinda went in expecting my chubby cheeks to disappear and my face to get all thin and lean and cheekboney. this might happen! but it might not. instead, my face has just kind of gotten… squarer. i definitely think it’s more masculine, but it’s not like i got all angular. hip fat did go down, but they still look a bit awkward and lumpy. ur boobs might reduce but mine didn’t. of course, it has only been 1 year, but yea, just don’t expect T to produce ur dream body type.

-hunger: yeah, you might get hungrier. i found i don’t necessarily want more food, but i really do want more… meat??? i could chow down on meat every day now. i honestly don’t know how this would go if you’re veggie/vegan, so i can’t offer much advice i’m afraid. in any case be sure to try and maintain a healthy diet (i can’t really talk but hey). 

-exercise: it’s a common thing, i guess, but starting T doesn’t mean you have to go to the gym if that’s not your jam or not feasible for you. i did start going to the gym and it can be satisfying because T really boosts your muscle definition, so my arms look beefy when i flex even though i really don’t do that much. if top surgery is on the horizon, it can be worth working out, because the more muscle the surgeon has to work with, the better the finished result will be (so i’m told - 2 weeks to go for me!)

-sex: your sex drive will almost definitely go up, and there will be some Growth. that might alarm you or it might feel cool. again, this is no excuse to start acting like a creep to anyone. depending on your perspective, i guess, this could be a positive or negative development. without saying tmi: masturbation and sex are fine and u don’t have to feel bad about them. if it’s not something you have a good relationship with, don’t worry, it’s not gonna control your life. if it is: uh have fun! 

[andymull]

WWE NXT Takeover: Orlando 2017 Predictions & Thoughts

Bobby Roode (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura: For the NXT Championship

The rematch awaits following Roode’s title win at the last Takeover event, the build for this has really felt lacking with Nakamura being out for awhile with an ‘injury’ and more video packages the last week or two to carry the build. The main theme for this show will be the people who have great chances of being promoted to the main shows this week after Wrestlemania, and that could impact the results of numerous matches due to it.

Obviously Shinsuke is the main candidate and should already have been placed into the main event scene on Raw or Smackdown after a year in NXT, but, management felt he needed more time to get used to their style and more opportunity to learn the language to be promo ready for when he gets called up (and really he doesn't seem to have progressed that far on this point from what we’ve heard on tv).  

I really hope he does get called up to either show, I would guess on Smackdown as Raw will be dealing with the return of Finn Balor and Nakamura cant be seen as a second best of the newbies/returnees.

But on the other-hand if he isn't being called up how will that reflect on this match? Truthfully if looking at it that way then it has to be Roode’s victory, his chance to cement his title reign and move onto other challengers after defeating the ex champions rematch. Nakamura doesn't need the title as his name will sell tickets for the brand, its just that the longer he’s there without a strong purpose the more likely he is to phone in non Takeover matches like he has a history of in NXT as well as NJPW.

Ill go with Roode retaining then moving onto a feud with either Kassius Ohno or possibly Hideo Itami as he should also be ready to return full time as soon as possible. No idea truthfully for whats next for Nakamura, maybe SAnitY or Almas hopefully as those two could produce something real fun - ROODE

Asuka (c) vs Ember Moon: For the NXT Women’s Championship

The simple truth of this match is that no-one is near Asuka’s level in NXT or the main roster, and no matter how they try to hype Ember or her indy work she just hasn't shown that ability in her NXT work just yet. Both are billed as undefeated so as Bruce Buffer always says ‘someones O has to go!!’ Asuka has been champion since last years Takeover after beating Bayley and I really only see them taking the belt from her under a screwy situation.

And that situation I foresee is interference from Billie Kay and Peyton Royce, they may use them to get the belt from one women to the other without beating Asuka clean. Asuka has been built as unstoppable so it actually makes really good sense for the heels to want the title on Moon to give theirselves a better chance of beating her for the belt next.

Asuka was originally signed purely as an NXT talent with no intention of getting moved to the main roster, but, there has been one or two occasions where her name has been brought up in terms of getting her called up so they potentially may want to alter her deal in a similar way to what occurred with Samoa Joe’s deal.

I could see them keeping the belt on Asuka but really the title scene needs to be freshened up for awhile, injecting the heels would see both Asuka and Moon have new feuds after the show with either one while at the same time letting the brand build this match again in the future with a clean finish next time - MOON

The Revival vs The Authors Of Pain (c) vs DIY: For the NXT Tag Team Championships In A Triple Threat Elimination Match

Following on from a title scene that needs some freshness we come to a title scene that needs improving, and sadly the reason for that is the Authors Of Pain (AOP) now it isnt totally their fault just that they are still very green and not ready for holding the belts. Now I know this brand is for getting new talent ready for the main shows but still you still have to produce the best matches you can and that isn't the main thing you think of first with the AOP.

Saying that, I see the other two teams throwing as many ideas out there as possible to make an entertaining match, the elimination rules could either see them wanting to put over the AOP the strongest they possibly could or a way to get them out first then have a great match between the other four guys to crown new champions. I predict we see the second point there, the AOP drop the belts but only because it took all four guys to beat them, and the crowd get what they want with The Revival and DIY facing off for a good 10 minutes.

1 thing I would love to occur is for each team to have a legend managing them, as AOP currently have Precious Paul Ellering as their manager wouldn't it be great if Jim Cornette stayed around a night extra to manage the Revival, then we just need someone for DIY - Jimmy Hart/Teddy Long? Could be a fun addition to the match as a whole.

I see DIY winning the belts and the Revival getting called up to Smackdown, then the AOP get to carry on the feud with DIY ooooorrrrr we hopefully get the AOP vs Heavy Machinery, dont tell me you dont want that level of destruction - DIY

Ruby Riot, No Way Jose, Roderick Strong and Tye Dillinger vs SAnitY

Not sure about the rumours of Tye getting called up, especially if the Drifter has lost his loser leaves NXT match with the same prospect. No idea what to make of Ruby Riot, bad gear, weird face, looked like a heel. All im hoping for here is for Killian to get some time in the ring to show what he can do as well as Roderick Strong. Nikki should be around the title scene but will probably be feuding with Ruby for the next month or so, the others im not fussed about really I like Young but he’s not being pushed for his ringwork currently sadly.

Ill go with the faces to get the duke but with the heels doing a beat down either after the match or next weeks NXT broadcast - RIOT, JOSE, STRONG, TYE

Aleister Black vs Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas

Interesting match here, I think their styles will gel really well together and the crowd reactions will be on point for something exciting. The slight problem I have is that neither guy needs a lose on his record anytime soon, Almas has found his groove bringing in more Naito mannerisms from his Los Ingobernables days and well, Blacks debuting so.....yeah.

Both guys will be remaining in NXT for awhile longer yet and should be 2 guys they build around in forming the next solid NXT main event scene over the next 3-5 months. I think we have to go with Aleister here, I mean this isnt Lucha Underground with new guys, come on - BLACK

5 matches announced so far but I doubt that’s where it ends, especially when you have the like of Kassius Ohno under contract but without a match.

Also they will be revealing new NXT titles on the show, im sure some people will be excited about that? Maybe

Should be a fun show with the way NXT usually book their Takeovers, hopefully some surprises with my number one being that they drop Percy Watson from commentary and replace him with Steve Corino...........please

Any feedback hit me up on Twitter @AndyMulligan 

Bye for now

Andy 

[makeupbyvanelli-blog]

I tried to do my whole Face using only Sailor Moon Products 

Since i was a little kid i loved Sailor Moon one of the first anime i watched . I had the dolls the outfit … But now am all grown up “that is what they tell me ” i had to have more age appropriate Sailor Moon merch and what is more of a perfect for me as a make up artist . Since the 20th anniversary the first generation of sailor moon fans have been blessed with everything from clothes to sanitary pads , expensive bags and my favorite Make up products with collaborations such as Shiseido ( so no one can tell us its for kids 🙂 ). I decided to try and make my whole face using only her products and the result was actually pretty nice !My muse for the look was Luna the cat in her human form . So here are all the products i used …

 The skin base …Sailor Moons collaboration with Shiseido which is a worldwide famous brand from Japan .You get two products one is a base with UV filter in a liquid form and the powder which is what gives you your coverage . I dont usually go for powders as my base am a liquid girl …BUT this gave me a porcelain look to my skin which i loved .

      Miracle Romance Powder … One of the first products i have ever bought and really liked .Also my favorite Sailor Moon brooch of all time . Its by the brand Creer Beaute which specializes in anime themed beauty products . This powder minimizes pores , has a light shimmer and brightens up the skin .

  Also from the brand Creer Beaute , this pink blush is very light and quite transparent perfect to give you that kawaii ( cute ) look . And lets not forget to mention the packaging and how high quality they all are .

The four piece eye shadow palette  which contains a light pink , gold , brown and a dark almost magenta pink . The shadows are very creamy and pigmented the only one i wasn’t to keen was the light pink that was a little chalky i found .

This cute blush brush it comes in to variations but i had to have my  Moon Stick as its my favorite Sailor Moon rod . It was a lot more petite than i expected but it works out great if you want to carry it in your make up purse and on the go . Personally i wouldn’t in fear of damage . The bristles are soft .

    Sailor Moons transformation pen … This item was  a re-release .

  Is is a bright fuchsia color i expected it to be more transparent like a tinted lip moisturizer but it was much richer which was a good surprise  . The formula includes moisturizing ingredients such as hyaluronic acid, squalane, macadamia seed oil and sunflower seed oil. It left my lips moisturized and soft

        i am not a Fan of pen liners but i really liked this ones formula as its very durable … i have to admit though i rarely use it as am stuck to my ways with gels liners . As for color wise its not completely black and its nice for a everyday look it also comes in other colors matching the other Sailor Scouts .

The Pencil is a brightening white with a gold shimmering shift its very soft and creamy . Perfect to use in the inner corner for that eye brightening high light .

  Sailor Moon perfume the packaging is so beautiful the photo doesn’t make it any justice . A very light refreshing scent with notes such as Vanilla ,jasmine ,lemon, rose , green apple and peach and a lot more that i bet you would get bored reading 🙂

Here you can see the look i created using all these products a step by step tutorial !

All these products can be bought from Premium Bandai website with the help of a deputy service (with the exception of the foundation ) . I bought everything on eBay but made sure the sellers were from Japan and with high feedback .

See you in my next post

Anastasia V . xXx

  Sailor Moon Make Up products I tried to do my whole Face using only Sailor Moon Products  Since i was a little kid i loved Sailor Moon one of the first anime i watched .