#like. he Chose to turn his back on it
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i've been thinking about simon heap a Lot during this reread
#septimus heap#simon heap#he's. hm#he's just trying to survive and also. he is Barely an adult#like does that excuse his actions??? not at all#but i do think the fact that he was able to LEAVE the darke behind him was kind of amazing#cause everyone else seems completely consumed by it#like. he Chose to turn his back on it#partly cause his silly little plan failed and his master died and he had no other options really#idk#like septimus's deep mistrust of him is SO SO SO valid#because marica is far too forgiving for her own good#but also i don't mind his redemption arc as much as i did the first time i read it#cause the first time i read the books i was like nine and so annoyed that he tried to KILL his brother#KIDNAPPED his sister#and was just an all around asshole just because he didn't get an apprenticeship he felt entitled to#but also#i've spent most of my life Wanting things and have been lucky enough to get most of them#and usually if i don't get something i very quickly find a new target#but i get simon better now. if i wanted something Badly enough and a little kid got it over me. maybe turn into a villain too#maybe#anyways i'm excited to see him in todhunter moon
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
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Forgive me, Jess, please know that I tried To hold on to the days When you were mine
— requested by @emmafallsinlove
#requests#literati#rory gilmore#jess mariano#rory x jess#jess x rory#gilmore girls#literatiedit#rorygilmoreedit#jessmarianoedit#gilmoregirlsedit#usergif#songedit#my gifs#*#I disregarded the general context of the song so that the verses I chose could fit Jess and Rory’s story okay 😂#so I made it like Jess really did all those things#he did return with his feet on the ground and all grown up#so the problem was just once again the timing because when he came back Rory was in the middle of a mess with Logan#so he was too late in a way??#but not really… I have total faith that they were eventually able to overcome the whole timing problem figure things out and get together#because they’re clearly meant to be endgame 😌#anyways so this is supposed to be seen as part of their angsty post-AYITL period when they think they won’t be able to make it work#except that they totally can!! because that woman has *not* turned out the light!#the light has been on all along even if at times it was just burning softly
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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this has stayed in my brain for like 2 weeks: au where obi-wan gets fed up with the city council because he keeps writing them asking them to fill this pothole on his street that he hates driving around and they keep not doing it so he decides to run for city council himself on the sole platform of if he’s elected he’s going to fucking fix that fucking pothole.
and he wins because he is very charming and not a lot of people vote anyway, and he fills in his pothole and then next election cycle, he’s planning to let someone else win so he doesn’t have to be on the city council anymore because he actually hates local politics.
only there’s this asshole in university who decides to run obi-wan’s re-election campaign because he’s trying to sleep with a political science TA and he thinks she’ll be impressed if he shows an interest in local politics by doing some grassroots voting door to door work for his community service credits…..and he chooses obi-wan to support at random and very nonconsensually
so anakin skywalker becomes the bane of obi-wan kenobi’s existence. obi-wan kenobi becomes the focus of anakin’s.
(obi-wan also becomes an elected official again, mostly because of the bored housewives vote.)
(obi-wan blames this on the fact that while anakin is a very horny intense nineteen year old, he’s also surprisingly effective with his big wet eyes and his obscenely pink lips. anakin blames this on the televised debates he scheduled between obi-wan and fellow councilor maul, where obi-wan’s eyebrows are drawn and he looks furious and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing his very nicely defined forearms.)
(they fuck about it.)
#kit's silly lil aus#obikin#talked about this on the discord like a while ago but was thinking about it earlier#obi-wan was trying to soft quit and not announce that he was running so no one would vote#for him but then anakin just randomly chose to put all his intense weird energy behind obi-wan#and it works and obi-wan is furious#this twink is ruining his life#now he’s been re elected and people know about him and talk to him on the street#and that’s …. sort of nice fine he likes people he likes his city#he fucking hates politics and now he’s a politician#all because of anakin skywalker !!!!#who turns Padmé down when she makes a move on him because all his weird intense 19yo anakin energy is firmly#on getting obi-wan to fuck him now#(obi-wan realizes that maybe he will be stripped of his political power and title if he’s caught fucking his campaign manager (newly 19)#(obiwan of course grabs onto that opportunity with both hands. solely because he wants to not be on the council anymore.)#(not because he wants to fuck anakin) (definitely not)#the sex they have the night it’s announced obi-wan wins….incandescent so rough so furious anakin can’t stand#obi-wan goes out to say thank you all sweaty with hair out of place and red splotches on his neck#and no one knows they’re from his campaign manager currently in his bed back at his house
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"Darling, darling boy. My darling boy. Help me move him. We need to go get him inside. Get him warm. I just need to get him warmed up. Felix, darling, where's your jumper?"
@island-in-the-shadows
#there you go#i think this might be the most heartbreaking piece of dialogue from the entire movie#richard e. grant performance here is incredibly vulnerable#and the repetition of darling boy? like he is relieved they found his baby? devastating#also i chose the second one bc i find it very interesting how venetia is getting closer to her brother body and looking straight at it#while elspeth is turned away and the furthest from him the entire scene#both parents are delusional or turning their back#ignoring reality and their pain which prefaces the way they deal with felix's death later in the movie#in opposition to farleigh and venetia looking and grieving openly together#maybe venetia wouldn't have killed herself if farleigh had stayed in saltburn#maybe they would have had a chance if they had remained together like in this moment where they are holding each other#saltburn
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Voyager plotline in which The Doctor, Seven, Tuvok, and Neelix have to become a barbershop quartet in order to save the crew. With the little outfits and everything. (Harry's providing the music)
#It's life or death bc neither Seven nor Tuvok would want to do it otherwise#Look at the EMH and tell me he wouldn't love to twirl a little cane around and sing a jaunty little tune#I chose Neelix as the fourth bc I remember Seven was trying to teach him how to sing?#and I like a whole 'we'll NEVER get to nationals like THIS!' moment bc he's got enthusiasm but is horribly off key#I think the resolution is that they try to just have Neelix lip sync but something goes wrong and one by one the other members#fall in the middle of the performance for a variety of reasons and then it's only Neelix and whoever was providing his voice falters#and so Neelix just has to sing himself and it turns out the aliens fucking LOOVE his terrible off key vocals#everyone else is groaning (from the variety of ailments and injuries that hit them) and Neelix is grinning with a trophy the aliens gave th#(they also gave their crew back)#fake star trek voyager episodes my beloved#st voyager
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Thoughts on season two of the bear so far: Carmy needs to bloom where he’s been planted.
#What is the point of this Claire arc?#What purpose does it serve other than to give us more scenes of Jeremy Allen White’s angelic-ugly face and magnificent acting?#What is Claire bringing to this show?#Anyway#my point is—Carmy’s trying to grow as an individual but apart from his involvement in community#Like. Claire is not your community fam.#You can’t use her to escape your problems.#You can invite her IN to your community#But you can’t attempt to grow with her when letting down your community to do so—it doesn’t work like that#It’s the same with his going to the support group meetings#It’s a good thing!!#But he’s also gotta face healing and growth in his work/personal community#He’s gotta make the sacrifices and take on the responsibilities and SEEK JOY in that sphere#Not just outside it#And furthermore—when I said bloom where you’re planted#I mean bloom where YOU chose to plant yourself!#Carmy has set his hand to the plow and it sure would be a shame to see him turn back#Peace watches stuff#The bear#the bear season two
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the human au doctors are all ambiguously from Not Great Home Situations but i think twelve specifically was having a terrible time as a foster kid and decided this little gang of weirdos would be his new family
#he’s also faceblind and can’t tell ten and eleven apart if they’re not talking for like. two months.#that’s unrelated it’s just another thing that’s true#they’re the family twelve wants and they’re the family twelve chose. and besides: he brings with him dinosaur facts.#(also this is the point at which nine realizes this is going to keep happening. like okay. ten? that’s one kid he’s taking under his wing.#and fair is fair. as annoying as ten is. as stubborn and rude as he can be. well. mostly that just reminded nine of himself. not a good#thing necessarily. but he needed someone looking after him when he was younger and ten needs him now. okay then.#but then eleven happens and eleven is Not supposed to happen but the other option is to leave him behind living in secret in amy pond’s shed#where he will inevitably be found and sent back somewhere he Does Not Want To Go Or Talk Or Think About. so nine can’t leave him.#ten and eleven might fight like pissy cats but they also huddle together when they fall asleep while nine is watching over them.#so okay then. eleven is coming too.#BUT TWELVE? this is the third time. you can’t have a coincidence three times in a row. and twelve is the one who chases after them. who#chooses them. how is nine supposed to turn him away. plus he’s got a pragmatic streak that is extremely helpful and he fits. you know?#there’s room in their little family for him. and he fits. he belongs. they see him.#so okay then. twelve is coming too.)#human!sibling!doctors au
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nate being the only doctor makes me wonder what he's had to do for the others before
Nate does a lot for the crew. (Also woo look at his human disguise!)
When he's not actively treating or checking on them, he's constantly working to compare studies and test data to understand how to treat his friends, seeing as they have widely different genetic makeups and could react in ways that are *catastrophically* unexpected.
He can't use human rules when working on them, which greatly complicates things when he's educated in treating humans. Sera and Vince naturally have nucleated blood cells for greater oxygen input since they're always in rigorous activity, but this is a sign of leukemia or other major deficiency in humans. How do drugs interact with their bodies? what reaction will their immune systems have? do they have an intolerance to certain chemical developments?
This is partly why Vincent underwent so much testing and experimentation- to catalogue and document an atlas for the reproduction and understanding of this hybrid Variant species, and how every facet of its anatomy works in that respect. Like a rough draft you don't care about messing up, and use only to learn from.
Sorry Vince.
It's a wonder how Nathaniel was able to successfully recompile enough information to save his friends at all. It's a lot of stress on one guy with no nurses! That goes without saying for Amon (who is a beastshifter) Sonia... (Who is a living chemical synthesis lab) The various other people who end up joining... (Who shall remain incognito)
...Yikes.
He has likely seen all of them naked at least once, due to emergencies. He's extremely professional, so it's like it never happened... But it's still never fun to have to use that kind of ER protocol on your injured friends and associates.
Everyone except for Vincent, since V never lets Nathaniel treat him for anything, even when he needs it.
Instead, everyone caught a harrowing and unwanted glimpse of Vincent when he landed back home after streaking in the rain. He now flies with his pants duct-taped on. And goggles. For the glare and the overwhelming surplus of bugs he slams into at twice the speed of a f1 car.
#devarambles#nathanieltag#one of the awkward facts about their situation as rogues is they have zero medical support besides Nathaniel.#and he has to constantly inform himself on their respective anatomy because theres so much undocumented info on variant medicine#Despite all of the extensive testing and processing reports done on variants#which is done in reference to improving human medicine. not necessarily variant healthcare. useful data regarding treating people is...#few and far between. Private research and study is usually done for variations that prove useful to government positions.#So variant healthcare is usually employed towards certain government divisions or certain levels of corporate practices. otherwise they#simply don't bother. “it costs less money to replace you than it does to keep you alive.”#Lol nate chose a shorter and thinner appearance when masking as a human. It makes him look a lot more approachable and his knees don't hurt#Sera... feels somewhat unnerved by his human form. It feels like she's cheating on him somehow. She has him change back when he's home.#He's perfectly happy with that since he doesn't like being disguised much either. He's pleasantly surprised to see that she prefers him#to be true blue. Most previous partners would request him to change into other forms. Sometimes he was even asked to turn into celebrities.#Not fun. Really not fun. He'd eventually associate his true self with something undesirable enough to be rejected over.#ark_systema#singlepagertag#A_S Textposts
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Part of me, deep deep down, wonders if we still may have a scene of MK on his knees versus his friends a la 4x07
#like maybe we WON'T. and that's totally fine#I did get ''You were locked in a corner- told to get on your knees and accept your fate! And you didn't!#You came back and chose to stand to meet your end! Together.'' Like at the very least *kisses kneeling/standing motif*#And it's like ''your friends will turn on you- seeing you for the monster you will become!'' like where did that fear come from. Wukong#Wukong & Macaque#And what are we MAYBE getting answers to next season. Wukong V Macaque#I just. *gestures* the chaos shit is so weird. the staff corruption is so weird#''When the chaos makes them who they are'' SO WEIRD#So like. Rn I feel like MK finally gets hey. You really don't have to do it alone! And it's okay it all leads to pain! Good job bestie#Like the option is it all leads to pain or there's nothing. Cool cool#But I do feel like. He needs to be okay with his role specifically? You know? Like the ''it's always my fault!'' aspect of it#''It definitely shouldn't be left up to me'' like. Well. It kinda was#This was YOUR choice#Idk man like. This is just gonna have consequences#like ''I saw my children couldn't survive the chaos'' We have lost the safety net of the cycle#We have lost the 10 kings. We've lost heaven (ish).#MK you quite literally chose your sentimentality for mortal pleasures over a lot. Over guaranteed survival#God part of me is like. U were so willing to kill yourself so you could finally make up for being you I know it#I fucking know it MK#Ur so rayla core#my god#U were like "I can finally make the world better than I found it by fucking killing myself'' like dude. dude no#this is such a weird amalgamation of getting better/worse MK like I love you#character of all time#And earlier in the season being like ''You're a beast. A monster'' and then calling nine a monster like. MK. whatever#was part of LBD's plan literally destroying chaos with the fire (''And everything beyond even that!'') like idk I'm losing it#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#lmk spoilers
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i didn't think jacob would be arguing with olivia, wanting it almost as much as her. what the hell. i expected the self defeated, taking one for the team attitude but actively needing it like her? when he had been trying to stop her all night? i feel like i've been blasted by a buckshot
#digi discusses#the world needs more jacobs and i just took him out of it#did he go back to being a kid again? to see the lights of possibility again?#to feel like he's doing something exciting and worthwhile again not by making art but by being “freed” by maggie's knowledge once more?#or did he. choose another timeline entirely? augh i'm gonna have to watch the ending back again...where did he go...#maggie would be turning in her graaaaaave to know he chose this. she would hate that for him she would h a t e it#the anna parallels. stuck between time only able to hear him on radios if you are lucky. fuck off#becoming an urban legend...i think he would have liked that. immortalized just like he wanted. ugh wait did riley do that for him#but the details getting lost his name becoming warped over time? i think riley (and i) would feel it was almost disrespectful to his memory#the fact he puts meeting riley on the same pedestal as saving camena. god god god god. even when they aren't friends they are.#riley talking to athena like a person like he did. i am MISERABLE#its the dys exocolonist thing all over again. he's happy and that's...good. but he could have been just as happy if he'd stayed too#every single time i think about the hug i'm going to cry#every single ending has done this to me there is literally no winning#being kinda mean to him was bad enough but this ending just feels! it feels like riley. like i. drove him to.#girl i need to log off bye#oxenfree II spoilers#yeah there's the essay. just took a minute#i will make another one about hurt healed olivia in a bit too because that. made me sob. that one hit really...close to home#he says when he was a teenager he would have fallen for it if someone told him he could open a portal in the sky and make things better#what a liar he would still do it now#EDIT: NO i knew it he says almost exactly what nona says after you hug her when you hug him. the orange-associated characters strike again
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i think i'm done y'all. i basically decided to use some headcanon i wrote in the past as biography, because ezra really doesn't want to share anything about his childhood. so all you get for now is novice scholar ezra spiralling down into madness.
#// C R I E S#// tbh i feel like he could have been an orphan#// he gives me lonely child vibes#// then he could have been educated by some wholesome old man who became his mentor#// and later he turned his back on him when he chose the dark side#𒆜 out of rituals.
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most of my issues with the master in s10 are issues with saxon's characterisation. like, do i think gomez!master could be better served in places? yeah, sure, and i'm making an effort to provide the lost nuance there. but really saxon got done SO insanely dirty.
#* ooc.#like regressing him back to the character he was before the 'you made me this way' encounter is MAD!#he turned all that rage and grief on the timelords and LET LOOSE OF IT#he was so full of this righteous purpose that he went back into the very war he turned HUMAN TO ESCAPE#this is something he would have said was the UTMOST DEBASEMENT#something he would never resort to unless absolutely necessary - unless terrified BEYOND BELIEF#and there he was in that moment choosing that; choosing to return with them to punish them#to have his resolution#the doctor was not his enemy. rassilon was. the timelords were#and to just have him... show back up and be a flat megalomaniacal plot device#'of course i will never stand with the doctor' BASTARD! YOU HAVE DONE ONCE BEFORE!#YOU HIT YOUR BREAKING POINT AND YOU CHOSE!#ugh. angy.
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Anyway I’m going back to bed for now, but although I may not have the time to elaborate on this for a while, I just want to say on a separate note that, if you have the good sense to realize that a series just plain isn’t for you, but then you decide to be a jerk and an idiot by interacting with it anyway, or even going so far as to review it somehow thinking you can actually be unbiased about it, even after that realization that should have made you walk away —
You suck, and I hope no one ever takes anything you say about it seriously.
#linklethehistorian#my thoughts#thoughts#fandom#non fandom#nonfandom#every day certain people in various fandoms get more entitled and less intelligent about what to do about things they don’t like#I watched a guy open his YT video reviewing a series by outright admitting he’s known for a long time that said series wasn’t his thing#and that as such he chose not to interact with it because he knew it wouldn’t be and that he wouldn’t like it#only to turn around and eventually decide to do exactly what he said he wouldn’t anyway#and then when he got the exact feeling he already knew he would he decided to write a whole damn review on why not being his thing = bad#nitpicking it to hell and back over petty meaningless shit and unironically treating his weak ‘arguments’ like they were intelligent#just so he could feel cute and smart and justified for not liking something#You don’t have to invent reasons to justify why something isn’t for you if it just plain isn’t for you#it’s okay to just not like something#same as it’s okay to like it
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the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head
#i still find myself not caring if the metacrisis doctor couldnt use one. he can because i said so and because donna shouldn’t get amnesiaed#alone.#but anyway. even. its just something about like.#here is your best friend. the man who showed you how big the universe could be. its still him human or not. its still the doctor.#can’t call him that. have to watch your tongue always because no matter how familiar their faces are. these two people do not remember#everything you did together and never can. at least they still love each other. nothing could change that. that’s what matters. you steer#them into each other’s lives so carefully and watch to see if they’re going to get hurt. but they don’t. it’s okay.#and still. and still. you carry your best friend’s life. everything that he is. you can hold it in the palm of your hand. he gave it to you.#he entrusted it to you. well. that’s not entirely true. technically you volunteered. but how else could you say thank you.#you made your world so so small again. for him. larger than you would’ve been used to once but you know what galaxies feel like to fly#across. and now you’re stuck in time and space. this is for love too. this is for the life you hold in your hands.#or wear around your neck on a chain. and because you chose this. you can never see him again. or you see him every day and he doesn’t#recognize all of you.#that would make anyone desperate wouldn’t it? make you do something stupid. make you turn to someone you shouldn’t.#even makes bad choices when they are cornered. i think.#dw oc#the important bit is of course that the only way they can ever get rid of it is by their own choice. which they never would choose to do.#(because tentoo won’t take it back. he’s his own person. impressions of the doctor influencing him. but the part of him that is donna doing#so as well. a whole new person. who does not want her memories back and to be unmade.)#but the point is that the moment even takes it. they will never let it go. they will lose it. on painful occasion. but it always finds its#way back. depending on the context this presence and responsibility is either comforting in its constancy.#or. in a less kind world. a horrifying reminder of how far they have fallen from who they tried to be for him.
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