#girl i need to log off bye

[digirainebow]

i didn't think jacob would be arguing with olivia, wanting it almost as much as her. what the hell. i expected the self defeated, taking one for the team attitude but actively needing it like her? when he had been trying to stop her all night? i feel like i've been blasted by a buckshot

[penvisions]

gone to the dogs {chapter 6}

Pairing: Boston QZ! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: You and Joel make what you can of the life you lead in the zone, though the thought of more begins to form in your thoughts three years down the line.

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, canon typical gore, age gap (pre time skip reader late 20's and joel is early 40's, post time skin reader is 30 and joel is mid 40's), outbreak fic, degrading language, violence, heated interactions, adult language, fighting, references to injuries, blood, sexual content, rough sex, p in v, smut, unprotected p in v (it's the end of the world, y'all), slight dom/sub vibes, topping from the bottom maybe?, sexual propositions, oral (m receiving), warnings of pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, references to off screen abuse, references to off screen assault (not reader), non con touching (not joel), mentions of past use of narcotics, illegal smuggling, references to death, lemme know if i left any out!

A/N: hi and bye (not back to posting on a regular basis yet but wanted to share this with y'all)

ao3 link || series masterlist || navigation || joel miller masterlist || ko-fi

The ground beneath your feet tears up with the force of your running steps, panic and terror making you numb to the amount of noise you’re making as you try to escape from the man who had separated you from everything you had ever known. A shock of violence for your quiet group as they had settled for the night just as the sun began to dip below the horizon. The image of Frankie being slammed into the ground hard and the breath knocked out of him burned into your mind’s eye. Of everyone, the few still left scattered like bugs underneath a log that was plucked from the earth.

They had come out of nowhere, ambushed your little group a mere five miles out from the zone that you had escaped from at the first sign of trouble, of change. It had only lasted two years, the initial set up for protection and mutual residence. Safety in numbers, safety in routine, safety in working together to preserve what worked from a time past and figuring out what worked in the current time.

But it all deteriorated. You had witnessed it with your own two eyes, the fall of what people clung to, the fall of what little relic of civilization had tried to survive. Frank hadn’t wanted to go, always believing that things could get better, that they wouldn’t fall, that people were good.

He had been convinced when you told him about the officer that had cornered you and tried to force himself on you in exchange for a few extra ration cards. His stuff packed in less than a day and a group of three others who he was on friendly terms with quickly gathering supplies when you showed up at their doorstep.

You had been torn from him, voice hoarse from shouting out at the rough treatment. Distracted by the violence that had befallen your group, territory being protected, and people seen as a threat. The pack of food and supplies was ripped from your shoulders as a man took advantage of your shock, of your shouting for someone who wasn’t you. It was the last time you were ever that unaware of your surroundings. It was the moment that changed the trajectory of your life, altered the very person who you were supposed to be into who you would become.

“Now you listen here and you listen good, little girl.” The man’s breath was ragged as he leaned in close and pressed his hands into the soft give of your chest. Fingers curling in a suggestive manner. “You’re either gonna let me have my way with you or you’re gonna be of some other use. Don’t need no one who can’t earn their keep.”

“Then let me go.” Your eyes look past him, to where Frankie is being thrown to the ground underneath the persuasion of a shotgun. His hands are shaking, held up in front of him. Looking straight at the accomplice of the man who had set his sights on you. A spare glance from both of them, then the man is smirking before turning back to Frankie and saying something that steals all the color from his face.

“Not on the table. We got two jobs for you, it’s your choice which one you’re willing to do.”

“Neither.” You spit into his face, the hold he has on your arm tightening and beginning to sting, your skin smarting.

“Cheeky bitch,” His palm is sharp where it lands on your cheek, stinging. He roughly jostles you, pain blossoming. Throwing you to the ground, all you can do is try to keep the trembling of your bottom lip to yourself and the tears watering your eyes from falling. “You’ll learn to respect me, that’s for damn sure.”

He laid himself over you completely, face far too close, his hands running up and down the length of your body. They lingered in places they shouldn’t, fingers dipped underneath the waistband of your jeans and then settled again over your chest where he feels it in his palms roughly. Moving to caress your face, he croons at how young and pretty you are, unsettling your stomach and rousing bile in your throat. All you can do is force your mind to blank and hope that the others got away…

You feel the same tendrils of fear now, as your boots beat into the ground now. There’s an eerie feeling about the early morning as the rising sun paints the sky with deep pink and orange hues, the distant screeching of possessed beings chasing after you. The safety that’s slowly diminishing as you rush around chunks of concrete and avoid spokes of rebar reaching for you.

Joel isn’t by your side, having pivoted when a clicker ended up between you both. There was a meet up point, in case of separation. That’s where you were headed, even as you hear the runners behind you gain speed at the harsh breaths, you’re unable to silence as your lungs burn.

Your pack catches on the corner as you round a building that still remains standing, the fabric ripping and the contents inside spilling out. You trip on a canister of coffee, the roll of it just right to be wrong and you feel yourself begin to go down. A monstrous snarl is far too close and you don’t even think to look back as you use your hands to push off the side of the building and then shove off the pack, goods be damned. Your life was more important.

He would understand, you know he would, but you still lament the loss of the pack.

You’re suddenly pinned to the ground, a heavy weight on your back uprooting your center of gravity.

Snapping teeth and a deep, guttural snarling fills your ear and drives your heartbeat up to a painful notch. Your hands scrape on the earth beneath you as you plant them as firmly as you can and arch your back to throw off the weight. Gnarled, spindly hands rake down the back of your jacket but the lack of nails on the tips of the infected’s fingers allows for you to buck them off of you directly. As soon as they land beside you, they lunge, crawling toward you on all fours in a terrifying scramble.

The gun you had lays between you both, the safety off. Kicking out, the heel of your boot makes a sickly crunch when you land a hit on the side of the infected’s head. The action pulls out a grating howl but gives you enough time to scurry forward for the weapon and as soon as it’s in your grip you’re pulling the trigger once, twice, three times before the thing collapses on its front and goes silent.

But you don’t waste a second, you don’t think you even take in a full breath before you’re back on your feet and running once again. You can’t see the others, but you can hear them, can sense them honing in on the gunfire and their steps are loud as they careen to where you had been just moments before.

You only watch with bated breath as you hear the distant sound of echoing footsteps from end of the hall. The door to the stairwell pushes open, creaking for the barest of seconds until a single hand curls around it, securing a hold on the handle just so and lifts the door slightly to relieve the tension on the hinges. It’s quiet as it slowly swings open the rest of the way and Joel’s form steps through it.

Your stomach swoops and the tense ball of fear and concern eases in your chest. Because for all your snapping teeth and biting words, for all the brandishing threats of your knife and the deliberate pointing of the barrel of your gun, the power in your decisions – you do have fear. For him to transform into something even you couldn’t bring him back from. From him simply disappearing from you in a heartbeat and you’d be left with nothing but a body that was once warm and housed his soul.

Sucking in a breath to center yourself, you watch as he traverses down the hallway, carefully avoiding the little traps and deterrents you’ve set up over the years. Once he’s cleared the distance and through the door to the apartment that is the hideaway and meet up spot, the door is closed and locked securely behind him.

His hands are scrabbling at you, reaching and pulling you nearly flush to him. Joel’s expression is hard, but behind his eyes you can see the worry and concern that he’s feeling. The steel gray that streaks through his dark hair is more apparent in the sunshine that filters in through broken windows and crumbling walls of the hotel lobby. Prominent in his sideburns, the scruff along the curve of his strong jaw, and the dusting of hairs across his chest. There’s water that has built up over the years, from the rain that trickles in, green with a thick layer of film over the top. It’s not an adjustment anymore to reach for him when you’re overwhelmed, though your voice and instincts betray you in snarky comments and biting rebuttals all the same.

“You did good,” He rumbles, voice breathy as he pants to regain the air in his lungs. He had taken longer to make it to the meeting point, but he was here. He was okay. You feel the harsh beats of your heart begin to calm, your own breathing beginning to even as you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook there. His large palms are sliding down your back as he kneels. Hooking underneath your thighs as he hauls you into his arms, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist.

“Nasty scratch there,” You notice the bloody line cut into the skin of his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned at the top, his undershirt gone- it’s hanging back in your shared apartment on a drying line from when you had washed it a few days ago. Yesterday’s run was not supposed to drag and turn into an anxious and long overnight stay in the ruins of the city outside of the zone. Not supposed to be a loss, but a win for the collection that steadily grows between two apartments and three partners.

You knew things were getting worse, but this was the first time any run had fallen apart in such a fashion in a long while.

“It’ll heal, they always do.”

He’s littered with them, from runs and trips and even an altercation or two with Bill over the years. But he’s fine, he’s more than fine. He’s…he’s strong, capable, a force to be reckoned with. A big, silhouette of a man that no one would dare to mess with. He’s really come into himself more, defined a clear-cut way of business that he’s taken a more invested front in. You still head the smuggling, the deals, the runs, dictating when and where he and Tess need to be. But he’s definitely the muscle of the operation, the one that people deal with the most.

He's bowing to press his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, spurring hot sparkles to dance along your skin and mingle with the sharp adrenaline that pumps through your veins. Teeth nip sharply at your bottom lip, at cut of your jaw, the column of your neck as he walks you toward the small bedroom at the back of the apartment.

It’s desperate, the way he’s dropping you down on the aged mattress and grasping harshly to flip you onto your knees. It’s depraved, the way his thick fingers undo the buckle of your belt and the fly of your jeans, tears the material over your ass and shoves it to bunch around your knees. It’s reverent the way he skims his palms down the small of your back as he hikes up your shirt and trails them along your sides, feeling the handles of your hips that make him dizzy, the curve of your backside, the ticklish skin of the back of your thighs.

You can’t help the moan that floats from you when he drags his knuckles over the swollen apex between them. But he doesn’t take his time, this round, as you hear the clink of his own belt being undone you can’t help but arch your back more for him. He let’s out a small, breathy fuck as his attention focuses on you and you alone.

The rounded head of his cock is striking as it glides between your slick folds, his skin fire that catches and burns through you in the most delicious way. He’s sliding into you, taking the moment to slow down and catch his own breath, his fingers bruising as they hold tight around your hips.

“Take it.” Joel grunted, hips slamming into the back of your thighs. The heft of his body behind every powerful move pressing you into the creaking bed. The frame was little more than a board of plywood set up on some concrete blocks. The mattress is far too soft from years of use. But it didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was that he was upright and breathing. It was enough of a comfort in the hiding spot deep in an apartment building that still stands. The windows barricaded and the hallway lined with makeshift sensors to alert of anyone the second they open the stairwell door to the floor. “Such a good girl for me, letting me give you it to you like this.”

His hips slam into you, knocking you forward and one of your hands out from under you. A deep, guttural sound heaves from your chest at the new angle. As you’re bent and arched in a way that allows him to drive even deeper, to fill you even more. The thick feel of him has you fluttering around his base, your clit throbbing at the pleasure that crawls over your skin in a hot sparkling sensation. “Always love to see this thick, fucking ass ripple. How you let me do what I want, give me the chance to show you what you mean to me. See the way she swallows me into her tight, slick heat. God, you always feel so good. Better than any pills, better than any drink.”

He’s never been loud, at least excessively, but the mouth on him lately has even your head spinning. The walls he had constructed around himself lowering when he shared his space and body with you. When you shared your own with him.

You reach into the front pocket of your pants, still bunched around your knees. Taking a pack of travel tissues out and a single one from inside as you move to wipe yourself clean of his drying spend. Behind you he gets up to his feet as well, his thighs protesting the movement, his knees twinging at the weight of him standing. The barely audible pops and cracks of his body realigning itself after the rather intense actions catch your ear as much as it does his. A small groan rumbles deep in his chest as he gathers his breath, face turning away from you as he reaches down to rub at the bends of his knees.

“A little too much for you, hmm?” You needle, unable to help the saccharine coo from your voice as you turn around onto your back and look down to the end of the bed. Your chest is rising, heart racing and body singing as you still feel him all around you, his touch a brand into your skin.

“Ain’t enough, actually.” His teeth glint as he brandishes them at you before leaning over you to playfully nip at the end of your nose. Your eyes light up as a raspy giggle sneaks up from somewhere deep in your middle, the glint in his eyes sparkling as he takes in the mirth his action drew out.

“You say that, but your knees seem to want to argue that.” You lean up, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing completely against him. He groans as your unclothed hips meet his, the press of your still slick skin against him where he hadn’t tucked himself away just yet. Another giggle sounds in the air and he’s mumbling underneath his breath, knowing that you’re trying to get a rise out of him with your taunting. He steps back, putting ample space between your burning bodies before he thinks better of it.

He’s approaching, eyes zoned in on the tissues in your hands as he comes up in front of you. You don’t try to hide your smirk as he snatches the small pack out of your hand, lips curling in an ill masked grimace before pulling one free from the plastic.

His hands are shaky, the adrenaline of the separation and then rather…enthusiastic reunion is draining, leaving him a mess of shot nerves. Cooing, you circle him and back his large frame up to the edge of the shitty mattress until his calves are pressed up to it. Locking eyes with him, you place a hand firmly on his chest and push him to take a seat. He does so willingly, body losing some tension as his backside sinks into the fabric.

“Why don’t you let me clean you up?”

“Already got this,” Joel tries and fails to fight off a yawn as he waves the tissue in front of him. His teeth snap shut with a clack as you kneel in front of him, shoulder your way between his knees, and press a caste kiss to the still swollen head of his half-hard cock where it bobs in his lap. The jingle of the belt he had re-looped is loud as his hips jerk, oversensitive where his pants had barely been pulled back up over his hips.

The pack of tissues falls to the ground as you wrap your lips around him and lick your own release where it saturated his entire length. A testament to what he does to you, what he still does to you with a single look. Casting your eyes up through your lashes, you can see the way his own flutter as he struggles to keep them open and trained on you. His eyes snap open wide when the hands trailing over his middle beneath his shirt caress the jumping muscles in his thighs, one wrapping securely around the base of his cock and squeezing while the other sneaks between your legs.

His deep voice rattles of endless praise and encouragement as you both find another crest together.

You move to pick the pack up from the ground, but his hand pulls you toward him. The action is too quick, your legs too weak for the sudden movement, and you stumble into him where he’s still perched on the edge of the mattress. His hands cup your backside, thick fingers digging into the skin as he holds you in his lap, your hands tight over his biceps for balance. His chuckle is dark as he murmurs something about wanting more time to see how much he can really tired you out before he’s leaning in to kiss you deeply. The scruff about his face is a soft hush against your skin but you revel in the feel of it.

Rough movements for a rough man.

The pressure of his hands disappears for a moment before he’s bringing them down to smack his palm to the flesh. Gasping, you look up at him to meet the playful look of shock on his rugged features.

It morphs into a smirk, eyes calculating as he watches whatever crumbs he can glimpse of your thoughts across your face.

It’s not uncharted territory, it’s not uncommon ground, the crackling intensity of shared desire. It’s a facet of your life now, hidden between the seedier parts of survival, fending for yourself and protecting what was yours every minute of every day.  The physical connection you found with Joel is equal parts exhilarating and daunting. A reprieve of the harshness of life in the zone, but it could just as easily turn into damnation alongside everything else.  

You lean forward and kiss him deeply, his lips bruising as they move against yours again and again.

He sneaks a hand underneath your chin and nudges your face up more. Eventually he pulls away from you and something different swirls behind his eyes that has your heartrate pick up again. Something you see more of as the days come and go.

There’s a depth to them, beyond his hidden emotions and easily displayed ones, as if he was feeling the minute shift in the air that was beginning to take place. One prompted unwittingly by the thoughts that were beginning to tumble inside your brain, one in particular more than others. The idea was a silent one, a personal one. A way to get out, a way to make your own little bubble away from it all. To be more like Bill and Frankie. You think his own mind may be on the same wavelength or that he at least senses the yearning that is beginning to glow in your chest.

“All you gotta do is ask and I’ll oblige.” The words are whispered, like it’s a secret that they exist. Only for you to hear and only this far away from the place you both begrudgingly call home. You duck your head, to hide the small glint of teeth that betrayed a satisfied grin, his eyes catch it anyway and he dips down to nip at your bottom lip in a teasing manner.

You could feel his eyes on you still, as you detangled from him with a lingering caress to his neck, his muscles twitching at the soft touch. His dark eyes always watching as they took in the way you jiggled a little to get the waist of your jeans back up on your hips, the movement making your chest bounce in your tank top.

“Hmm, sure know how to fill ‘em out.” He’s reaching to trace a finger along your collarbone, thoughts swirling in the brown depths of his beautiful eyes. Watching, cataloguing, cautious and on alert every second of every day. “Zone’s getting worse, with the change of the season.”

“Medical bay is already rationing the antibiotics and steroids. Hell, they have been but it’s more apparent as this…strain of flu or whatever wreaks havoc.”

“Don’t want you gettin’ sick.” You hear the unspoken sentiment in his voice, the worry he holds as you had shared with him one night that you have recurring nightmares of suffocating as your body works against itself. Tries to fight off sickness only to be too weak. He hadn’t understood at first, when you whispered it to him. He had thought you were worried about being Infected, of the cordyceps, which you were. But you had explained that you meant you were worried of finding your death in something simple, something completely preventable. Something that would reveal just how weak you were, how human you were.

He had fallen silent, when you explained it. You hadn’t pushed him to share his own nightmares and he hadn’t dug any deeper into yours, but you know he thinks of the exchange often.

Once you were both fully dressed, he pulls you into a tight hold that you wouldn't classify as a hug, but for him it was. You huff as the air is squeezed from your lungs. Your body tenses for a millisecond before relaxing and bringing your arms around him, around his middle. You rest your head on his chest, his chin going to rest atop it. You squeeze him back, just relishing the fleeting casual intimacy.

Knowing it was only a moment and the gruff commands and barks of words would resume the second you both stepped out from the abandoned building. The way he acted in public so drastically different from how he softened when he was alone with you. It had been years, since that first explosive argument and then whispered plea to let him take care of you, it had been a long journey to get to this point and you’d be damned if anything threatened the life you had made for yourself. The life you had made with the man you leaned into willingly and wholeheartedly.

Sickness plagues the zone, from the youngest to the soldiers. It’s nasty, the strain of influenza, and stronger than the medication that has begun to wane in potency the longer is sits in bottles and foil packets. There are no more shots to take, no more antibiotics or narcotics of medical grade. Unless you were willing to pay big, and even then there was no guarantee it would save you.

There are so many bodies to burn each day, you know it and Tess knows it. But Joel doesn’t speak about it, just wordlessly enters the shared apartment and immediately showers after his shifts. Emerges in cleaner clothing and makes a beeline for the hooch you keep hidden underneath a loose plank in the floorboard. Today is one of those days, he’s off at work to earn enough ration cards to make the deal of getting you and Tess medical attention to combat the sickness you’ve both come down with.

Eventually the sickness has found itself at your doorstep, catching you and Tess by surprise even with the extra caution you both exhibited around others. Makeshift masks, excessive hand washing, but it wiggled its way into your immune systems all the same.

It's been two weeks, neither of you able to work or do much beyond organize trades for him to do until dark. Both of you losing weight, with hardly any appetite and fevers that wane in intensity.

Despite feeling like the very little food you had been able to keep down all day was making its way back up your esophagus, you push yourself up from the couch where you and Tess had been going over inventory of all the items hidden in both your apartments when a soft knock sounded on the front door.

Getting a knife into your palm, a small security, you peer through the cracked peephole. A moment passes as you watch the young girl on the other side of the door fidget in her spot, looking down both sides of the hallway before down back at her interlocked hands in front of her. She looks vaguely familiar, like the girl that Joel had once given a thick handful of ration cards one random day and then every two weeks since then. The same girl that you see around the mess hall and on job sites that have to do with the more lightweight work to ensure the zone keeps up in operation.

He hadn’t said as much, but you know he watched out for her. Tried to prevent her from falling into the seedy dealings and scene of the zone that grew bigger each year. The trade of skin for ration cards and goods, for food, for protection too prominent a life for girls and women alike. Their bodies simply another thing they could offer up in order to survive another day. But you know she’s on his radar, though she had yet to set foot in your apartment or Tess’s.

And you didn’t think it was sexual, you trusted him on that front. No, it was born of a need to protect and prevent, much like the way he watched over you and Tess. Another part of the pack that he deemed important. You had asked, once when you first noticed her eyeing him up across a crowded street, if the older woman recognized her. All she knew was that the girl used to work in the speak easy sometimes frequented. That was years ago now, but you always made sure to save a portion of anything you managed to bake from the sorry excuse of supplies the cards still got you. For Joel to give to her, the errant thought of having her move in with Tess was unspoken but on all three of your minds the worse things got.

“Yes?” You crack open the door and peek through the space, but you’re opening the door completely and ushering her in as you spy the tear tracks that stain her delicate face. She’s so young, you realize, a decade younger than you for sure, two more than Joel. You idly wondered the reasoning behind his soft spot for her, but then you realize whatever spurred it also spurred the one he has for you.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know where else to go. And M-Mr. Miller said to come for him if I ever needed help. Is- is he here?” You turn back to look at Tess, her own curiosity controlled into an even expression.

“He’s run out for something after his shift, are you hurt?” You close the door firmly behind her. Securing the lock in place and taking a deep breath before you reached out to touch a gentle hand to her shoulder. She cowers, a small whimper escaping from between her pale lips. “Do you need immediate aid?”

“N-no, just…bruises that are fading,” She rubs at her shoulder, thin hand reaching up and exposing her wrist and the mottled skin there. Your eyes narrow at the sight, Tess equally, is focused on the girl now.

Fuck, she couldn’t be more than twenty…

“I-I don’t know how I was even going to tell him, so it’s probably good you two are here…” Her voice trembles, fresh tears trailing down her cheeks.

“What is it-” Tess starts, cautiously stepping into the kitchen as you usher the girl into a chair. Her knees knock together as she struggles not to bounce them or cross one over the other. The stilted way in which she pivots her hips tells you more than she had verbally so far and your chest pangs for her. Kneeling down, you gingerly place a hand on one of her knees and assure her that she’s safe here with you both. That she can tell you as much or as little as she is comfortable with, but that you need her name and at least a direction to move in.

“Jean, my name is Jean.”

“Jean, is-who did it?” You can see it in the way she’s moving, the healing that her body is still attempting to do. The bruises that have nearly faded along her neck and the way her eyes cut to every sound that neither you nor Tess caused. The older woman stands at her full height at the shift in your voice from cautious and on edge to thinly veiled anger. “Who hurt you?”

“I-it was one of the guys who I used to work for in the speak easy. He…he cornered me one evening after my shift at the kitchens. He-he-” She breaks down, her sobs creating a valley in your chest that you recall heaving yourself once upon a time. “He did this.”

Something is thrust into your hand, thin and long and plastic. You glance down at it, surprise and anger fighting for purchase as your chest blooms with something akin to fierce protection.

It’s a pregnancy test. And it’s positive.

previous chapter || next chapter

taglist: @sawymredfox @tuquoquebrute @orcasoul @itsokbbygrl @keylimebeag

@n7cje @hiddenbabynyc @ameagrice @everythingiwanttoread @furiousmushroom

@vivian-pascal @76bookworm76 @dugiioh @jellybeanxc @littlemisspascal

@undercoverpena @janaispunk @jessthebaker @persephone-girl

@corazondebeskar @harryscum @morgaussy @burntheedges @pascalpvnk

@cavillscurls @joelmillerisapunk @copperhalfcent @blackcatgreengrape

@the-orange-tabby-cat @yxtkiwiyxt @punkshort @cumberpegg

@littlemisspascal @mosssbawls @luxurychristmaspudding @cherrycolouredflunk

@tobethlehem @axshadows @ameagrice @theoraekenslover @mellymbee

[thatfandomslut]

Captain Princess Ophelia

Reneé Rapp x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Trigger Warnings: just a lot of fluff, Shrek, and a cute pregnancy announcement

Request:

basically some fluff where r and renee take care of r niece, like, domestic cute stuff

Reneé Rapp requests are open.

Other accounts: hoe4flo | ghostyanne

Discords: Mean Girls | Mean Girls RP (in need of people)

(S/n) - Sister's Name

When (S/n) dropped off Ophelia, the first thing (Y/n)’s six-year-old niece did was run to Reneé , wrapping her arms around her aunt as she clung on excitedly. It was the first time Ophelia had visited since (Y/n) and Reneé  moved into their own place now that they were married. “Are you sure you’re okay to watch her over night?” (S/n) inquired, chewing on her bottom lip as Ophelia flung her body from Reneé  to the toy chest in their living room, something put there due to them knowing she was coming. They were the types of aunts to absolutely spoil their niece, and that was evident by the toys overflowing in the toy box.

“Of course,” (Y/n) smiled, ruffling Ophelia’s curls gently. She was always down to watch the girl. Since they moved, they had been a bit busier and hadn’t been able to visit yet. This was the perfect excuse to spend time with their favorite tiny terror. “We are going to order pizza for dinner, watch Ophelia’s favorite movies, play with toys. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. You deserve this night out with your husband. So, go have fun. I’ll send you several pictures of all the fun we’re going to have tonight.”

(S/n) hugged (Y/n) and Reneé  gratefully as she made her way over to Ophelia. She crouched down before hugging her daughter, despite her being uninterested due to all the new toys. “Be good for your aunties,” she kissed her cheek gently before heading towards the door. “Bye, everyone, I love you all. If you need anything, do not be afraid to call.” (S/n) spoke before finally exiting. (Y/n) locked the door behind her, not because of (S/n), but because of safety. She looked over at Ophelia who was engrossed in the Superman action figure, who she paired up with a President Barbie from the Barbie movie.

“Ophie,” she called, sitting beside her niece. It took a moment before the girl looked over at (Y/n) with a big, curious grin that exposed her dimples. “Auntie Reneé  and I have a surprise for you. Do you remember that princess dress that you wanted? We got it for you in the guest room. Would you like to check it out, sweetheart?”

Ophelia nodded excitedly as she followed her aunts to the bedroom. Reneé  put Ophelia’s purple unicorn suitcase in the room before picking up the green, sparkling dress. “It’s so pretty! Like Fiona,” she absolutely loved Shrek after (Y/n) and Reneé  decided to make sure that she was cultured and understood what true cinema was. Ever since then, she has wanted a sparkling version of Princess Fiona’s dress and a pet donkey. Hence why she had a Donkey stuffed animal on the bed alongside the dress. “Don-kay!” she squealed excitedly, pulling the stuffed toy into her arms.

“We have another surprise for you,” Reneé  said as (Y/n) helped Ophelia into the dress. “We have made snacks from Shrek, and we are going to watch all the Shrek movies.” Ophelia wanted to watch all of the movies the last time they were together, but they didn’t have the time. This time, they were going to have a sleepover and they got various snacks, healthier than not as requested by (S/n), to keep her on theme.

Ophelia was ecstatic. For someone who could bounce off the walls, she was an amazing movie watcher. She loved sitting in between (Y/n) and Reneé  during all of the movies they watched together. (Y/n) ordered the pizza as Reneé  set out the snacks. There were green apples with ogre ears poked into them (thank you Etsy), gingerbread men talentedly put together by one of (Y/n)’s friends, pretzel sticks cleverly renamed Swamp Logs (thank you Pinterest), and water with green food coloring that they deemed to be swamp water. Ophelia was absolutely living the life.

As the three sat together, lounging on the couch, (Y/n) couldn’t help but look over to Reneé  with a smile. They had waited patiently for the movies to end to share the news with Ophelia. She would be the first in the family to know what they were going to tell Ophelia. She was going to help them tell everyone else. As Shrek the Third ended, (Y/n) knew it was finally time. She was a bit nervous to tell Ophelia, but she knew that this idea was amazing.

“Hey, Ophie,” (Y/n) got her nieces attention. (Y/n) took a moment to think about how she wanted to tell her, Reneé  putting a hand on her shoulder softly. “You know how in this movie, Shrek and Fiona were having babies?” She questioned softly, wanting to explain slowly since she knew this was a big announcement. Ophelia nodded with a grin. “Well, I am also going to have a baby.”

Ophelia processed this slowly, in her own time. After all, she was only six. “So, then I’ll be an aunt, too?” she asked, looking at Reneé  who was behind her. She wasn’t understanding completely, but that was perfectly fine. (Y/n) and Reneé  wanted to take the time to explain this to her. They knew she was probably going to have several questions.

Reneé  grinned a bit at the question, gently putting a hand on Ophelia’s shoulder. “Even better,” she smirked playfully, “You’re going to be a big cousin. Which means, when (Y/n) has her baby, you’re going to have another friend to play with dolls and action figures. You can even show them Shrek. But, first, we need to ask for your help. Only you can help us.” She explained to the curly haired girl.

As the two explained to Ophelia more about the baby and told her about the plan, they gave her a shirt. It said ‘World’s Best Big Cousin” in pink font. When (S/n) went to pick up Ophelia the next day, that was the shirt she would be wearing as she ran to her mom and dad and gave them a big hug. She was taking the idea of being a big cousin as seriously as a six-year-old could. She loved the idea of having a little cousin to play with, her own baby. Though, they did have to explain that her baby cousin would be at their house and not hers.

“Oh, you got her a new shirt,” (S/n) said before gasping loudly. She looked at her younger sister in shock before passing Ophelia to her husband carefully. She then threw her arms around (Y/n) and Reneé  happily. “I am so happy for you, too! Please let me be there when you tell Mom and Dad.”

(Y/n) hugged her sister back as she gave Ophelia two thumbs up. “Even better, we have Captain Princess Ophelia, her new big cousin title, to help us.” She told (S/n). They wanted to make sure Ophelia had a big role so that she knew her aunts still loved her. This was something that (S/n) noticed, appreciated, and loved as she held onto her sister.

“You two are going to be the best parents,” (S/n) expressed happily, wiping away the tears from her face then (Y/n)’s. “I can’t believe I didn’t even notice. We just went out the other night and you refused your favorite night drink: a margarita.” The group shared a laugh as they got to working on how they would tell (Y/n) and (S/n)’s parents.

[rizatouchesthewalls]

everyone who writes and supports miles smut can block me, that includes 42 btw.

PLEASE SHARE THIS TO ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS AGED UP MINORS (SPECIFICALLY MILES MORALES)

TW: BELOW THE CUT IS DISCUSSION OF P//DO, UNDERAGE CONTENT. (I don’t go too far into detail but I know some people have been affected by it).

elaboration on why aging up (for sexual purposes) is bad

miles is canonically 15 and dont even pull that “he’s aged up” shit with me cause you know damn well on aged up fanfics they use pictures of CANON MILES. so its pretty obvious u have the teen in your mind. and you know what the ones that are around his age are annoying too but it doesnt put nearly of a bad taste in my mouth as the GROWN ASS ADULTS who make that shit.

and btw dont go and say “oh, it’s hormones and plus miles has hormones” and to that i have to say:

1. if you are a child who likes miles like that, fine, deal with that shit in private tho. you posting s*xual content of a minor is catering to creepy adults online

2. if you’re an adult saying that shit then i can say nothing less that you have the mindset of a groomer. You’re not very far from the mfs who say that “teenage girls are at their ripe age at 16.” you as an adult SHOULD NOT be using teenagers having hormones to your advantage and excuse. That’s disgusting.

“they’re just a fictional character” 😟 can you get a grip? go outside. Miles is a fictional character who is BUILT and DESIGNED to look like a teenager. And astv aint that unrealistic that you can say he’s ambiguous. He’s not. And even if he was he does activities that I do as a teen—I go to high school, I’m nervous about my future—miles is literally a relatable teen, as he was designed to be.

“Then stop looking for the smut posts.” I DONT NEED TO! It infiltrates my ASTV tag and at times the Hobie Brown tags too. You act like your tags aren’t public. If someone wanted to read a Miles fic that was normal fluff they would have to scroll through some smut too!

anyway thats all and dont even both coming up in my comments and reposts throwing a hissy fit you niggas r weird asf and can block me. maybe then id see less weird shit on my tag page. do us all a favor and log off.

+ Update: His ages from any other media isn’t a valid excuse. If you were clearly writing for canon adult miles you wouldn’t have astv miles as the icons and astv as the tag.

+ Update: Miles is CANONICALLY 15 in the first movie, and somewhere in the last movie he was YOUNGER. As mentioned above, mentioning other media as an excuse is bs when in the movies your writing for (itsv, atsv) he’s clearly a minor.

+ The thing that pisses me off the most is how ya’ll act like the people who are uncomfortable are weird. Are you not writing s*xual content about a 15 year old on a daily basis? please.

+ Fiction DOES affect reality. Why do you think people have nightmares after horror? Why does a sad film make people cry? Why does a deep movie change perspective?

+ In the scene where Miles argues with his parents, he says something along the lines of “I’m 15!!!” So if you think he’s not underage, you either didn’t pay attention or don’t have google. Plus what 18 year old discusses college that late? (without any other discussions prior?)

+ if you like little boys stop tryna hide that you like little boys it makes you even more manipulative and gross. no but in all seriousness telling minors that behavior is okay has gotta be SOME form of grooming on a more subtle scale. sorry if that’s too bold for ya’ll but as someone who’s been tricked into thinking content like this was okay when I was younger, I can confirm that this isn’t okay.

+ If to prove character that’s canonically a minor isn’t one you have to pull up seven different source materials that barely correlate to the one you write for, that character is still a fucking minor! It’s giving “she’s actually 3000!!!” when she looks 8.

yeah. kay bye!!!

[onmyknees4loak]

Teach me

Lo'ak x Reader

Warnings: (Lowkey stalker and sub lo'ak) Synopsis : (Lo'ak cant seem to take his eyes off of the girl who teaches his nephew.)

Playlist I listened to while making this

Reader's POV

"Good job muffin!!" Pxe'pe one of my youngest students finally gets her threading right. She runs off to show her mother.

I'm what Jake calls a babysitter but I like to think of myself as a teacher I mean that is what I do, people leave there kids with me while they attend to there duties and I teach them things like threading, scavenging, and even healing.

"miss miss miss" i hear a small voice from behind me and feel small hands on my leg, i turn around to be met with Kame'xar, one of my little ones.

"yes what do you need sweetie" i crouch down to be at his level

"i cut my finger" a little sob comes out as he holds his hand up, i see a small bright red cut nothing to serious but still it must hurt.

"oh no sweetie come on lets go fix that up for you" i extend my arms and pick him up, i start heading to the healing tent. i look down at his finger and as im looking away from in front of me i bump into a tall stiff figure. "Oh my eywa! I am so sorry" the figure turns around, i began to panic even more. The figure is Kame'xar's uncle.

"oh my goodness Lo'ak I apologize" i say hoping he wont notice the cut on his nephew's hand.

"oh no worries ...." he pauses trying to remember my name.

"y/n my name is y/n" i tell him.

"y/n... That's a beautiful name....Oh my god Kame'xar i didn't even notice you what's up bro, have you been crying what happened?"

He looks at me wondering what happened to his nephew,

"he cut his finger we were on the way to the healing tent to fix him up."

"oh well please let me walk you there its the least i can do" Lo'ak insists.

"I mean it is only right there but sure" we began walking to the tent which is already in sight.

Once we walk into the tent i set Kame'xar down on the floor and lower to my knees to grab the healing paste. I take his hand and gently rub the paste over his cut.

Kame'xar giggles "its c-cold!" he says in a fit of giggles.

"it is isn't it" i say laughing with him.

I can feel Lo'aks watching my every move. I stand up and turn around to Lo'ak.

"Well i should be getting Kame'xar back now." I feel Kame'xar put his now healed hand in mine and start pulling me to the opening of the tent.

"Thank you y/n, bye Kame'xar ill see you at dinner" lo'ak says waiting for us to leave.

"Bye" me and Kame'xar say at the same time.

As were walking I can't help but to keep thinking about Lo'ak everyone says he,s a bad influence and all he does is get in trouble but he seems so sweet and caring- ok y/n snap out of it he didn't even know your name and you got more important things to worry about.

Lo'ak's POV

'y/n.....y/n how have i never seen her around surly i would have noticed someone that beautiful. She's so different there's just something soothing and pleasant about her.

I walk out of the healing tent and start heading to our family tent,

Oh eywa i can't get that beautiful women out of my head. I need to see her again. I change my direction and start heading to where i know neteyam drops Kame'xar off every day. As i get closer i can hear the sound of children laughing getting louder, shes so good with kids. I hope to make her laugh like that one day.

I see my girl with kids running around her, there playing a game. I keep my distance and sit on a log where others are sitting and eating fruit.

I just sit there and watch her teach and play with the kids for hours. I turn away any time she looks in my direction hoping she doesn't realize that ive been sitting here for hours.

She would never want a guy like me an outcast.

Reader's POV

I finish putting up all the kids threading projects keeping them safe for tomorrow.

"Good Bye Vaylen! I'll see you tomorrow" now all the kids have gone home for the night, and i can start heading home. i turn around to start walking in the direction of my tent when i see Lo'ak sitting looking at me when he realizes I'm looking at him he turns his head the other way. Now that i think about it he has been sitting there since i got back from the healing tent.

'Should i go talk to him?' i ask myself 'I should.'

I start walking over to him with a smile on my face, he notices me coming over and i can see his body tense up.

"Hey Lo'ak what are you doing here?" i come to a stop in front of him.

"Oh i w-was ju-just uh chillin yk" he stutters over his words.

'my god, he's so cute, i want him stuttering over his words while i ride him' omg! what the fuck is wrong with me why would i think that.

I think he could tell i just got surprised with myself.

'y/n? Are you okay?" he asks as he stands up getting closer to me.

I can feel the tension in the air as his face is suddenly a few inches from mine.

"Yeah im good" i see his eyes move down to my lips as he licks his own.

He leans in intel our lips meet and he begins kissing me, i kiss back and start getting a little more aggressive i bring my hand to the back of his head and put my fingers through his hair lightly pulling.

"mMm" Lo'ak lets out a whimper/moan.

I pull away and bring my hand down " i cant do this Lo'ak im sorry" i look down to my feet.

"Why not baby?" he asks pushing hair behind my ear.

"What would people think if they found out, im not trying to be mean but your kinda know as a bad boy yk, and i dont want people to not trust me with there kids im sorry"

I turn around to leave and i feel him grab my hand and pull me back.

"Then Teach me, teach me how to be a good boy"

[poppinspops]

Treech dating headcannons

My opinions on how treech would be like in a relationship, in and out of the hunger games, meaning lamina didn't get picked!

kiss me is playing rn, It's so his song yall Trust!

Um... accidentally made a bit of a fanfic rather then a headcannon oneshot... oops??

Warnings: none really just bad Grammer and maybe spelling mistakes as it's like almost 1am and I'm too tired to look over this

before the hunger games back in D7

Treech and you met in grade school back when treech talked a whole lot more

Treech definitely was a big talker up until he hit twelve years old. He hardened a bit more and started working, being pulled out of school like a lot of kids his age usually did, like how you did.

You two shared your first kiss in a tree at the ripe age of twelve, that's when treech finally seemed to get what his father and mother would always tell him about meeting the right girl, how he'd want to cherish and protect her from everything and everyone

Just like how he felt right now looking at you with his small hands on yours, beet red in the cheeks just looking at you

Looking away as he thought back on his father's words, he now understood him better to a point still he couldn't fully grasp the whole thing but all that mattered to him was making you smile that big smile you always did when he made silly faces or when he picked up big logs of wood (not very big but still)

"Treech, when you meet the right girl-" his father started, but treech interrupted him like always his face scrunched up in disgust likr how boys usually acted when on the topic of girls at twelve "EW! I don't need a girl!" But treechs father just laughed at his son before continuing ruffling treechs hair a bit as the boy huffed. "You'll want to change to protect her. You'll want to spend every waking moment with her... you'll understand when your older" treech looked up at his dad with confusion, not quite understand what he meant in that moment

You worked for your father's lumber yard people sold you wood for coins, your father usually was there working the shop as you carved small little trinkets in the corner of the shop, treech would come in and sell the wood he had. Most of the time, if he had any free time in that moment, he'd come and sit next to you, watching you carve a small bird. He watched you intently smiling at your flustered face when you couldn't get the angle just right admiring your features from. The chair

When he relized his feelings for you after that kiss he started working not long after, his parents like many others pulling him out of school to go and chop wood for a living a 'lumberjack' was what you called him

And soon after he started callin you 'carver' for your wood carvings

He didn't speak much after that kiss but he seemed to spend every second of his free time to just stay by your side, even going as far as to put your shoes back on your feet when you'd take them off to run in a lake, making you blush and look away thanking him under your breath missing his slight smirk and dark eyes looking at you like you where his whole world.

He knew what his father truly meant by and even more wanting to devote himself to her and wanting for you to do the same for him.

It has taken a few years but finally you two got together when you were fourteen when you couldn't take it anymore and had run up to treech one day in the rain taking him by the shoulders and screaming your feelings at him.

You two where almost inseparable, it made your father smile as he saw you happily chatting away with your lover boy at the counter though he did always have to walk over and tell you to get back to work cuz chatting away with your lumberjack ain't making money you'd sigh and kiss treechs cheek before waving bye to him watching him quickly walk out the door ears slightly red.

The reapings and meeting the tributes

You had heared the man from the capital you couldn't remeber his name buy you did know that his clothes looked expensive, making you grit your teeth at how he smiled whilst talking about a literal death game they forced children to participate and die in.

You stood still as he called the female tribute first

The man on the stage cleared his mouth as he spoke Into the sqeaky mic flinching back a little at the noises the mic made before saying the female tribute of your district "Lamina" He spoke into the mic making your head spin around to a girl that was shaking like a leaf. She was a red haired girl just a year younger then you making you bit your lip as she shakingly walked out of the line the girls all stood in slowly walking up the dirt path looking around until her eyes met your own making you gulp before speaking up impulsively "i.. Lamina! I volunteer as tribute!" You hadn't thought that through at all. All you were thinking about were those scared eyes knowing she wouldnt last long in the arena or at least you thought she wohldnt, you didnt get to see the relieved look lamina had before you were grabbed and dragged onto the stage not getting the chance to walk your feet being dragged in the dirt the man in the fancy outfit looking surprised at you before coughing a bit and continuing

treechs' name got called soon after everyone was done being shocked at your 'stunt' or rather your act of compassion and pure kindness. You felt a tear drop down your cheek as you stared over at him from the other side of the stage, accidentally catching him looking at you with a terrified but also almost angry look

Treech didn't get the chance to say anything

You two where sitting in the old dirty train, your back against treechs front as you let tears fall down your cheeks at the situation you had just out yourself in.. almost regretting your choice to volunteer, almost.

Treech gad helped you out of the cattle car holding out his hand for you to use to hop out of the cattle car, he made sure you stuck to his side not letting his guard down looking around as the other tributes got out of the other parts of the cattle train or whatever you two had just been sitting for hours on.

You looked around and caught the gaze of a little girl and a boy next to her that only had one arm you waved at them the girl waving at you with a smile as the boy only nodded at you

Treech only stared at the others, not saying a word as he held your waist, tightening his grip when the Capitol guards would come too close to him and you

You two got ushered into another car along with the other district tributes, though you here seated next to the one-eyed boy from District 10. He'd been staring at you with his one eye his gaze harsh like he was trying to see if you where good enough to him the whole ride making you gulp and look away eyes back on treech and the District boy that snuck on the cart for who knows what

You had smirked when the boy had been pinned to the car wall by the tall boy named reaper, you already liked reaper you two had said a few sentences to each other 'surved him right capital filth.' You had thought as you clapped gleefully at this, treech gave you a look smirking. You two hadn't noticed that you both had caught the attention of a certain red-haired tribute

Okay ima end it here. My hand hurts, but umm.. may do a part two if yall want one anyways I accidentally made a fic instead of a headcannon, my bad..

[violetmuses]

72 Hours - A. Aretas 💥 ❤️‍🩹

Title: 72 Hours - A. Aretas 💥❤️‍🩹

Fandom: “Bad Boys” Universe  

Character: Armando Aretas 

Pairing: Armando Aretas + Female Reader 

Main Storyline: Mike catches Armando “sneaking” back home one night. 

====

2024

Returning to the Lowrey household, Armando Aretas walks through his own mindset, but this guy still moves enough for the next morning. 

Armando shouldered his cell phone while entering this home and chatting with someone. 

You exchanged numbers at the club and safely took public vehicles back. 

“Are you back home yet? I'm settled.” You questioned Aretas just to be sure. Miami pulled wild shit all the time.

“Yeah, gotta keep my voice down, though. Mike's asleep.” Armando tried whispering, but his accented English only rasped toward you. 

“No, I'm not.” One familiar greeting encourages Armando to pause. 

Detective Mike Lowrey, Armando's biological father, turned on the foyer lights and crossed both arms, smirking. 

“Oh, shit. Hold up. Sorry, but I need to go. I'll just call you another time ” Armando offered one of his last chances. 

“Uh, damn. Well okay. Thanks for tonight. Bye, Armando.” Your sweet tone quietly breaks his heart when you end the call. 

“Gimme your phone.” Mike gestured his hand once Armando silenced. 

Because Lowrey pushed through Armando's earlier wrath, devices irked him. 

Armando hands over his cell phone and sits in the living room, waiting. 

Bingo! Mike scored the jackpot. 

Pictures, videos, phone calls, and text messages all lined up his son's night. 

“Fun.” Armando wouldn't make eye contact with Mike. 

“Who called you?” Mike questioned his son about the phone number log. “Is it the same girl in your pictures?”

“Yeah. We hung up with each other when you caught me.” Armando said. 

Scrolling again, Mike noticed everything. Aretas mostly took pictures after dancing with you. 

"Tan hermosa.” Armando flirted in Spanish during one of these videos and angled the camera while standing behind you. Strobe lights flickered. 

“Look. Do whatever you want, but don't be stupid. Good night.” Mike returned Armando's phone and headed back upstairs, finally trying to sleep. 

Once the coast stood clear again, Aretas opened another text message thread for you. 

Armando: He's gone. 🩶 

You: Who? 👀 

Armando: My father.  ❤️‍🩹

You: Bad moment? 🥺

Armando: It's complicated. 😬

You: Ouch. 😥

Armando: Already miss you. 😞

You: Aww. Miss you, too. 💋 

Armando: Good night, mami. 😘 

You: Good night.🥰

_______

“Don't smile too much this morning. I just told my partner about your phone.” The next day, Mike ratted Armando out to Marcus! 

Snitch! Aretas thought. 

“Marcus will be here soon.” Mike continued. “Go ahead and finish your breakfast.” 

If it wasn't for Mike's wife Christine, Armando would've left the house.

______

“Armando! You might not kill people anymore, but don't act buck-wild like your father!” Marcus pulled with chaos, upset. “Read books or something.”

“Marcus, now you're overreacting.” Mike wanted to ease the situation. 

“No, the hell I'm not!” Marcus kept going. “This motherfucker pulled his trigger for a video and put you in the hospital!”

“Marcus!” Even Christine defended Armando by this point. 

“Stay paranoid, Mike!” Burnett just told Lowrey the truth. “We cleared Captain Howard's name, but you still died in front of me because of Armando.” 

“Stop it.” Mike stepped in. 

“No, listen to me. Armando saving Callie doesn't free him, either. One bad night could put your son back in prison, Mike. Watch his ass. I'm outta here.” 

Marcus walked away, leaving the house. 

“Maybe I should plan to leave if you don't even trust me.” Aretas grumbled from the kitchen table. 

“I trust you, man.” Mike then offered his true words. 

“Not enough to defend me.” Armando shook his head. “You just let him talk shit.” 

Pissed off, grabbed car keys to the Porsche and rolled out, calling you. 

[moldwood]

i've had a bluesky for probably a year or so but have never ever used it because i don't have the energy or time for more than one social media. until tumblr dies i'll be here 99% of the time, but art may start to be posted over there at least. all that is to say i logged in to make sure i still had the urls and saw this on the homepage feed whatever

I CANNOT IMAGINE THE WORLD TWITTER USERS HAVE BEEN LIVING IN WHERE THIS IS MINDBLOWING. COULD YOU IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO edit:im adding a read more for the people on mobile. don't click it. it's just to prove a point about the ridiculous number of characters you can have in a tumblr post

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right.

At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything?

We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you… I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something?

Like what? I don't know. I mean… I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I'll see you around.

Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's… human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that?

They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah.

What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? 

Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung.

Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?

A privilege. Mr. Benson… you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you.

No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?

Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren't your real parents!

Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?

What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it's just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? 

They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me.

Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security.

You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That's Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac?

Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?

It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

[heyyallitsbeth]

Ghost of You

The sun beamed down on the two lovers resting on a giant mushroom top in Alfheim Online. They had been working on clearing a bunch of side quests with their party that day. But to one of the two, it felt off. His movements were sluggish, his body disconnected from the avatar it resided in. To most, it would seem normal, his movements still had the disciplined form of someone who had spent his life training in combat, despite him giving up the sword in the real world long ago. But to his partner, both in combat and in soul, she could tell he was struggling. 

“Kirito, are you feeling alright?” The autumn-haired girl stoked the dark hair of the noir boy who laid his head on her stomach.

“Hmm? Yeah everything’s fine Asu, why?” While his demeanor was calm, she could tell there was something eating him up inside.

“Honey, I’m your wife, and your partner too. If there’s anything troubling you, I’ll be right by your side to fight it with you.” The raven haired spriggan closed his eyes and weakly smiled. He knew that Asuna was his true other half, a partner in life and in love, but he was worried about something that might tear them apart.

“Asuna… I need to convert my account over again. I might be gone for a bit, so if you could… While I’m gone, please give Yui and Strea twice the amount of love as normal.” He thought of his daughters, and hated the thought of needing to leave them behind for any time, but he knew there was something he had to face alone.

“Of course honey, but call them every night at least okay?”

“Heh, been doing that since we escaped SAO. I can promise that won’t change one bit.” But some other things might.” He left the thought to himself, he wasn’t ready to commit to any real change, but he needed to see the truth for himself.

“Do you need me to look after Excalibur for you? You lost most of your items the last time you converted over…”

“Haha, nah that’s not an issue. Sinon's already got that covered, after all, it’s her sword, she just knighted me with it.” He laughed seeing the flustered face of his wife, even though their situation was more open and fluid than most, she still got a little jealous of the girl’s hanging off of him, especially the teal sniper who taunted the two of them the most. “And if she converts, it should default to Yui now since she’s taken my inventory any other time I convert.”

“Alright, we should get back to the others to continue the quests now, good chance for you to say bye before you log off for a while anyway.”

“Of course. Dontcha go marryin someone else without my permission first~”

“H-hey!”

“Oh come on, I’ve seen how Liz stares at ya Asu. I’m sure she’ll take great~ care of you while I’m gone~” He giggled, imagining the sight of his wife and Liz locked in an embrace together.

“Even if she does, you’ll still always be my beloved partner, promise~”

“Heh. Didn’t take much convincing- you’re so cute.”

The spriggan rested on the undine, never wanting to leave her. But today, he needed to face his fears. Alone. A mission for the solo player. 

…

A year prior, an event stuck itself to Kirito’s brain like a parasyte. He could never fully escape the thought of it. He had logged into Gun Gale Online in order to investigate the DeathGun case. Due to the gacha system that determined avatars in the game, Kirito had awoken to the sight of his hair in his face. Long streaks of grey locks adorned him, framing his soft face. Staring at his reflection in the windows of nearby shops in the dark brutalist environment, he noticed things in himself he was afraid of. His figure was soft and feminine, far from the typical soldier of this world. It was not too dissimilar to his real life appearance, but the pronounced hips and narrow shoulders made him shift in place uncomfortably. He stared at his visage, noting he looked as if he was Sugu’s big sister instead of her big brother. He slowly met his own gaze. His eyes had always been a dark grey, something his adoring sister always teased him for, calling him a zombie with the dead gaze that adorned him. But that day he saw something different in them, where a blank glaze once covered his view, there were now highlights visible for the first time, and a deep purple hue that left him breathless. He grasped at his chest over his heart and was hit with a deep pain, and an even deeper longing. But he had to move forward, he had a mission.

A week ago Kazuto had been out with his sister Suguha, though they were only related tangentially as cousins. That became something Kazuto had become fixated on, as throughout their day out, multiple people had stopped them, asking if they were twin sisters. Kazuto didn’t look his age due to his years in Sword Art Online, his body permanently stunted by his inability to move for so long. But he was really wondering if he truly looked that similar to Suguha because of it. He recalled that as he was young, they were confused for twin girls all the time, but they were younger then… It made sense right? Kazuto stole an old skirt from Suguha’s closet one day as she was out practicing kendo. She hadn’t worn it in years, he figured she wouldn’t notice if it were gone… He slipped it on and stared himself in the mirror that spanned the back of his bedroom door. Despite the clear difference in their “endowment” Kazuto had seen as bright as day the connection. Even if his chest wasn’t voluptuous, even if his hips weren’t as pronounced, he saw the obvious connections between him and his sister. His face was soft and round like hers. And in the center of it all, he saw it again, his dead eyes replaced with the loving purple gaze he’d seen back in Gun Gale. He threw off the skirt in a fit of anger at himself. He stashed it beneath his bed, he didn’t wanna look at it. But… his heart longed for something regardless.

Today, as Kirito logged out of Alfheim Online, he converted his account over to Gun Gale Online once more. He needed to spend more time there… She needed to see herself again. 

…

A dark raven was prone atop a clocktower, aiming down at the streets below. Through the scope of their Hecate sniper rifle, they could nearly see the stubble on the men in the party stories below them.

BANG!

A single clean shot had decimated two of the party members.

“I’ve gotten good with this thing… heh.” The shadowy figure smiled to themselves as they lined up another shot. “Maybe now I can give her that duel I promised…”

BANG!

A full party wiped in such a short amount of shots. Too easy. The slender gargoyle on the roof brushed their long locks behind them, the deep grey shimmered with silver highlights despite the soot and ash coating it. Suddenly, they heard someone ascending the wall in front of them. They prepped their shot, but they were caught off guard by a blur of seafoam green, before their eyes met a familiar smiling face in their scope.

“Hey Sinon, come here often?” A playful taunt escaped their lips.

“Yes actually, I do believe you’re in my spot after all Kirito.” She giggled, a sight Kirito had grown to love as Sinon had opened up more and more. “I’m surprised you’re using a real weapon instead of wildly flailing your photon sword about.”

“Oh you just miss seeing me with my sword in my hands dontcha?” Sinon blushed and angrily pouted, another adorable sight. “Well, my lovely partner here in GGO taught me so much, I figured I’d honor her by using the same weapon as I practiced. I need to give ya a good duel sometime after all.~”

As he grew closer to each of his friends, the one-sided teasing evolved into a playful banter between them, learning how to push each and every one of their buttons.

“So that’s why you left ALO huh? Trying to get a headstart on training for our next B.O.B. huh?”

“I think you’ve got years ahead of me Sinonon~ One week away won’t save me. But truthfully that’s not the full reason.” Their eyes shifted away from Sinon, and towards the floor before smirking and shaking the thought away.

“I’d hope so, it’d be such a shame if my Star-Crossed Soldier was training without me~” She playfully pouted at Kirito.

Ever since the last B.O.B. ended, article after article dubbed the two winners as the Star-Crossed Soldiers, after Kirito’s embrace with Sinon in the trials, their close encounters in the cave and Sinon’s literal fiery embrace at the end to claim their tied victory. Liz had given Kirito an earful before the articles came out with how close he’d been to Sinon, but after the nickname appeared online, Kirito became convinced Liz and Asuna would actually kill him. Up until Asuna proposed the poly arrangement at least.

“Jeez, don’t let Asu hear you callin’ me that, otherwise I won’t be the only one getting pierced by her rapier.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not lookin’ to get inbetween ya- in that way at least~” The look she gave Kirito with that comment seemed to literally take health off the poor player.

“Anyways, why’re you here if not to train to win over me?”

“...” Kirito shifted his look away from her, and with that motion he accidentally revealed the accessories adorning his hair. Sinon snickered.

“Ah, I see you’re just here to play dress up huh?” Her eyes wandered and looked over the rest of the boy. He still had his trademark carbon fiber cloak, but now his outfit beneath was…

“Kirito… is that my outfit in black and silver?”

The noirette blushed a vibrant crimson, and smiled.

“I think there’s someone you need to meet Shino.” The girl was surprised by Kirito’s use of her real name ingame. He typically tried to refer them as their avatar’s name. This was deeper, this was personal to her. 

Shino grabbed the hands of the shadow before her and looked into it’s eyes.

“I think I know who you mean.” She smiled with pride as they drew closer. “What’s your name? Who is my partner in this world?”

The eyes of purple and blue had met, a synthetic gaze between them escalated into a whirlwind. In a moment, they were back in that cave again, holding eachother close, the heat of their bodies pressed against eachother.

“In this world… And all others… My name is Kiriko.”

With those words, Sinon saw Kiriko revert back to how she saw her initially. Another girl, just like her.

They spent the next week training for the upcoming B.O.B. ingame, and shopping for Kiriko in the real world. The night of the battle, Kiriko had stayed at Shino’s apartment, so they could celebrate their victory.

…

A flurry of gunshots was silenced by the cruel end of a photon sword. Despite her training with a sniper, Kiriko decided to return to the classics for most of the match. Her and Sinon made for a perfect duo as front line and supporting fire. Her favorite moment had been when Sinon and her had been cornered, with Sinon facing her while she had her back to two enemies. Sinon fired at Kiriko, and she split the bullet just like in their trial duel, with the two pieces finding their home in the skulls of their attackers. It was a game now, just for fun, and they wanted to perform.

“I suppose that is the last of them huh?”

“Suppose so.”

The two stood against the other, scratched, bruised, covered in virtual blood of both their own, and of others. And now with all cameras on them. 

“You ready to give the girls at home a show Kiriko?”

They smiled devilishly at each other.

“Always.”

In a swift movement, Kiriko removed her heavy black cloak, revealing the matching outfit with Sinon’s own. It was practically bikini armor, except for soldiers instead of for knights, despite Sinon’s insistence it wasn’t. Sinon revealed a photon sword of her own, and as the cloak hit the dusty ground behind Kiriko, both lept towards eachother with fire in their eyes. The clash of purple and green blades sent small debris around them flying, each strike was more powerful than the last. But it was less of a duel, and more of a dance. Every movement, despite the power, was elegant, with perfect footwork and seamless motion. They circled eachother, blade against blade. With every strike forward, the other responded with a dodge and their own strike. Neither had grazed the other, only their sword’s connecting the two. The chorus of slashes against slashes sent both blade’s flying, as Kiriko caught Sinon’s and Sinon caught Kiriko’s, and they continued their masquerade. They drew closer and closer together, despite the blade’s repelling eachother, their bodies had called to eachother. In a flash both lights extinguished, and the two embraced. They smiled at eachother, aware of the camera right beside their faces. They closed their eyes and their lips clashed against eachother. Love blooming on the battlefield. Sinon pressed Kiriko’s blade against her back, and ignited it, impaling the two of them together, as they tied another B.O.B.

…

The pair awoke from their brawl back in the real world. Both had imprints on their faces from where their Amusphere’s had sat on them. They giggled to eachother as they traced the marks, holding eachother’s faces. 

“I’m glad you got Asu’s approval before all that, I know that Liz’ll still tear both of us apart though” Sinon snicked, imagining the pink leprechaun’s stunned face watching their dance.

“Hehe, yeahhhhh. Just because me and Asuna are poly doesn’t mean the jealousy’ll ever just up and leave. Liz is probably upset that I managed to steal both Asuna and you for myself.” 

“Oh I think she’ll be more jealous of me, after all, I was the first one with the new girl in the group.” She laughed at the thought, knowing all of the girls’ not-so-subtle-crushes. 

“Oh yeah, speaking of, I guess tonight they all get to meet Kiriko at the party in ALO huh?”

“As long as you’re not nervous, and I’ll be there supporting you always.”

“With you by my side, I’ll always be ready. Let’s hop over and meet them.”

An evil grin reached Shino’s lips.

“Welllllll you and I both need to transfer our accounts back over, so you should set that up real quick.”

“Right, right of course. Better not keep them waiting-”

Kiriko turned away from Shino to her laptop, starting the slow transfer of their accounts. With her attention away, Shino slipped out of her top and pajama bottoms, and waited for Kiriko’s full undivided attention.

“Alright we should be good in around twenty minu- HUH!”

Kiriko’s face was lit ablaze by the sight of the scantily clad girl infront of her.

“Hehehe, whatcha waitin for? I know we got the cash prize, but it’s time for our real~ reward now.”

She unbuckled the back of her bra and let the garment slip down, exposing her modest, but perky chest with a light bounce.

“We won’t keep them waiting long- but I already told Asuna- I get first dibs tonight- which means I get first ever dibs on Kiriko~”

She pounced on Kiriko, pinning her to the bed. 

They showed up in Alfheim, an hour later than everyone expected.

…

Sinon entered the main living space of the home their party had shared. Luckily everyone was enjoying themselves already, but she still stammered out an apology for being so late. 

“Jeez, is Kirito not coming?” Liz said in a huff. “I suppose he just doesn’t wanna show after that little stunt you two pulled.”

Sinon blushed heavily, knowing that stunt was far from the worst thing they’d done. Asuna crept behind Sinon and pulled her in, kissing her on the cheek.

“Mwah~ That’s for stealing away my poor innocent Kirito~” She playfully toyed with the cat, happy with the new arrangement they’d found. But the cat’s face lit up, imagining how there was no innocence left in either of their bodies laying beside eachother in the real world. She shook the thought away.

“Hehe, just borrowing her~ she’s yours again tonight”

The party went silent

“HER?!”

As if on queue, a new cait sith appeared from the door. She was adorned with a black cloak and risque armor set. Her signature long grey hair fell down her back, looking just like Kirito in GGO. And she could barely look up at the party as she announced “H-hey everyone. My name’s Kiriko…”

Before anyone had the chance to say anything, Asuna, Yui and Strea all embraced the girl.

“Yayyyyy I get two mommies now!” Yui cheered

“Ah well that explains the armor choices…” Leafa sputtered out.

“We leave Sinon alone with Kiriko for a week and she comes back a girl… Yeah that tracks actually.” Liz was practically beaming.

“I was wondering about Kiriko’s choice of attire in GGO… But now I can’t wait to see her choices in here~” Philia dreamed of all the different event cosmetics and rare treasures Kiriko could now be adorned in.

Silica and Argo were hovering around the new cait sith in their presence. 

“So was I the only one who suspected Kii-gal was a girl?”

“Maybe! But now I get an adoptive big sister!” 

“Hey! Kiriko’s my actual big sister!”

“We can share!”

The crowd started talking inbetween themselves, talking about all the fun things they can do now that Kiriko’s a girl, and Asuna took this as an opportunity to pull her to the side.

“So this was what you were worried about earlier huh?”

“I was worried that you’d leave when you found out what I’d been going through… I’m glad I can still be yours.”

“Oh honey… I love you, husband, wife, partner, I didn’t fall in love with a boy, I fell in love with you. The hero who saved us from Aincrad, and the caring parent to our kids. This is just a new side of you I get to love, and I’m going to love every second of learning about you Kiriko. Now ummm. After the party can I head over? It’s been a bit since we um.”

“Heh- about that… If you wanna head over, you’ll have to ask Shino if she’s okay with you staying…”

“Sh-Shino? Are you diving from her apartment?”

“Hahaha, well, she did call first dibs…”

Asuna laughed and pulled Kiriko into a kiss. She was glad that Kiriko was still hers, even if she was being shared between a few others. Since for the both of them, regardless of all the others they would come to love, they were still that happy couple from back in Aincrad, soulmates from then, to forever.

[janeacular]

This is a collage I made for my sims game

I did this a few months ago but I pulled it back up because I'm tryna play again. When I do sims I get sooooo attached to them & they're full complete people outside of myself so my current family doesn't follow my aesthetic at ALL. which is why I made them this. Yapping abt my sims under the cut

Southern Georgia, year 19??, A green widow and her blue toddler daughter in a tiny shoebox apartment. She's studying to become a lawyer. A neighbor she's never spoken to calls her up and asks if she needs help. This pink woman works at a daycare, all her kids have grown up and she would like to help a struggling mom. the two women start raising this little girl together. They become close. life between the three of them is so casual they sleep in one bed and become happier at the sight of the other. The women kiss in the kitchen one morning before our widow runs off to work. That night they talk. And realize they love each other. The green widow and her blue toddler leave the apartment and join the pink woman's family. It's an old white wood house with a porch and a mudroom. It reeks of family history and warmth. The pink and green furniture transform the space. The pink woman used to have a son, he had a red daughter with an orange woman, after his death the mother and teenage daughter continued to live with the pink woman. They welcomed the green widow and her blue toddler with open arms. The family grows. The orange woman finds a new boyfriend at the local gymnasium, the red teenager joins cheer at school. The green widow and the pink woman get married. the blue toddler becomes a blue child and she's smarter than the whole house with a fascination for books. The pink woman officially adopts the blue child. Orange woman and red cheerleader teenager move out with orange's new boyfriend, they live in a two story log house. With the extra space pink and green adopt a new baby together. Teehee thank you for listening to me yap !!!! bye bye !!!

[raising-harmony]

[ In-person scene. ]

[Colress knocks sharply on an old wooden door. He's tired, he's low on patience, and he wants to get this over with. Behind him, all three of the kids linger in wait. While Anthea stands protectively in front of the other two, Concordia is doing her best to soothe and keep ahold of N, who is visibly shaking and pallid. He's glancing back like he's considering splitting off to hide away. All of them look slightly unwell, actually- the bite on N's hand hasn't been treated. Their hair is uncombed, and their skin looks sickly with a lack of flush, maybe due to their inability to eat, or just a lingering nauseous feeling in the wake of their anxieties.

... Colress looks at the kids, and then knocks again, harder this time. "Hello? Today, please!"

The door creaks open. Alder pokes his head out, expression neutral at first, but there's a concerned look on his face the moment he passes a glance the trio below. "Ah, um, hello. How can I help you?"

"There you are! Our good friend!" Colress immediately lays it on thick.

"Sorry, do we know each other?"

"Yes- kind of. By association. Doesn't matter," Colress waves his hand. "Who you DO know is Ghetsis, and right now, he needs a favor. Soo..-"

Alder furrows his brow a bit. He glances at the children again, and as soon as he does, his eyes light up with recognition. "Oh! These are Ghetsis's kids, huh?" He notices they really don't look well, but hesitates to comment on it. And what's this random guy doing with his ex's kids? "What's the favor? Is everything okay?"

"Ghetsis is in a bit of a pickle and desperately needs a last little minute babysitting help. You can do that for us, mhm? After all, he took care of yours for a bit."

Concordia perks up slightly, a tentative sparkle of hope in her eye. This is Ryuki's dad?

"Uh--"

"Wonderful!" Colress's smile strains, and he nudges Anthea forward. Concordia tentatively moves to follow suit, trying to pull her brother with her, but N isnt receptive in the slightest. As Colress attempts to "help" the girl by grasping N's shoulders and pushing N along, the boy plants his feet in the ground with a stifled yip, and his shoes leave drag marks through the gravel. He starts shaking harder.

"Woah, I didn't agree to this. I kinda need more context here.."

"Yeah, well, I kinda need to get going, so if you don't mind--"

"Who even are you? How am I supposed to trust you exactly?"

Colress's eye twitches. He pauses, thinks for a moment, then sighs. "I'm Ghetsis's partner, Colress." He announces rather vaguely, taking a bow. As he comes back up, he adjusts his glasses. Alder takes notice of the fact that this guy is in a lab coat, for some reason. How weird. "And I'm trying to get everything situated after he sustained a.. bit of an injury, so to say. It's a last-minute emergency, I know, and we're both very sorry."

Partner..? Alder didn't know Ghetsis still liked masculine people... Wait, injury?

"Okay, bye now! Take care of them!" He drops their bags and suddenly produces a phone from his pocket, hastily pushing it into Alder's hands. Seems like it's a burner of sorts- its totally empty except for Colress's number, and Rotomblr, where it's already logged into the raising-harmony blog. "You can contact me through this in case of emergency. And if you could, I dunno, post updates about the kids or something while you have them, that'd be great. Bye-bye!"

Alder fumbles to avoid dropping the phone. "Wai-"

Colress is already taking off.

"......." Alder looks down at the three kids. They blink up at him. Anthea attempts to smile politely despite the weariness on her expression, Concordia looks as if she's trying to decide whether or not she can trust him, and N.. well, of course, he looks terrified. Alder's confused and a bit agitated himself, but the hurt, nervous looks on their faces soften his heart. He opens his door wider. ".. Hello, you three. I'm Alder."

Anthea steels her nerves and sticks out her hand politely for him to shake, which he does. She's always been the people person between the three of them. "Hello, sir. My name is Anthea. This is my sister, Concordia, and my brother, N." She bows about as deep as she can, hands gripping her skirt nearly white-knuckled. She's trying not to show it, but she's so stressed that she feels she may get sick. "Pleasure to meet you. Thank you for having us."

"Dad? Who's at the door? You're taking forever," Ryuki calls from within the house, poking his head around a corner. ".. Eh?" He trots over real quick. Both Anthea and Concordia wave at him. "... Why're Ghetsis's kids here. I thought he didn't want you seeing them."

"We'll talk about it later. Help me get their things inside, please."

"They look like shit."

"Language! Come on, son, you know better."

"Tch. Am I wrong?"

... No. He's not.]

[The False Dragon: End]

[neevblanc]

„spiders and scarves” ♡

a/n — hi hi! miguel is such a complex character and my feelings for him are similarly complex lol. i hope i did him justice!!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Miguel O'Hara x GN! reader

Tags— fluff, pre-relationship, christmas time cuz yay!! (ur spider name is azure bite cuz i imagined ur suit to be blue)

CW/TW— implied boss x worker...thats it

“Oh, please!” Spiderbyte whines, clasping her hands together. Her eyes presumably widened under her mask as the stylized eyes widened comically in a version of puppy eyes you’d seen many times before. You gave her a look and shook your head.

“No, dude. It’s not my fault you didn’t finish that report. I did all of my work and won’t do yours.” You replied, leaning back into your office chair. Spiderbyte, or Margo, whined and deflated. The younger girl hid her face in her arms, crossed on the desk before her. The girl was smart as a whip, but might as well have been allergic to formal paperwork. 

“Not even as my Christmas gift?” Margo pleaded, her voice muffled. You smiled, biting back laughter.

“Nope. Already got you one.” You said, leaning forward to turn off your hologram desk and log out of the Spider Network. Margo perked up at the mention, her mask disintegrating into little pixels and exposing her face entirely.

“Really? What is it?” She asked, grinning widely. You gave her a baffled look as you hung your bag on your shoulder, putting on your scarf and gloves.

“Why would I tell you that, Margo? You’ll see on Christmas, like everyone else does with Christmas presents.” You laughed, disregarding the dismayed whine that left the girl.

“I’ll see you next week, bye.” You said, sending Margo a little wave as you left the area. Pressing your palm to the reader next to the door, the door slid open easily. 

You grimaced at the amount of light leaking from the windows in the main area. Spiders bustled around, some running and some lounging around the chairs and tables laid out. The door closes behind you, leaving you in the hall surrounded by other spider people (and a hilarious number of Peter Parkers!)

You settled your headphones in their place and started walking, thumbing at your phone screen to find the playlist you were feeling most for the bus ride home. Well- home. You’d be making a trip to your apartment in this world to get some things in order before going back to your earth. 

It’s just your luck that only two minutes into the search, your spider-sense goes wild, and you’re turning on your heel faster than you could even think of. 

You stumble backward, face contorting in surprise when you come face to face with a…horse.

31913- or Cowboy Spiderman- stared back at you, sheepishly trying to get his horse to back up from where it was whinnying two centimeters from your nose. Begrudgingly, you shove your headphones down to rest by your neck. 

“Sorry, Azure Bite. Got a little too close there,” he drawled, patting his horse’s shoulder as it finally took a few steps back and allowed you to crane your neck upward to look at him properly.

“You’re good. Is there…anything you need?” You asked, starting to feel the awkwardness settle in the interaction. Your brain had just started preparing for no conversation, and the interruption left you reeling slightly.

“Uh...have you happened to see Miguel around?” He asked, voice growing small and nervous.

“Nope. Not for a few hours; he should’ve gone home at 3. Why?” You frowned, shaking your head. Cowboy nodded, tongue clicking in dissatisfaction.

” Ah, I had a question for him. Pav and Jess said they hadn’t seen him leave. Sorry for botherin’ ya. Happy holidays!” He said, nodding his goodbye and taking off at a moderate trot. You stood still, mouth pursed.

‘Miguel isn’t the nicest boss,’ you reasoned. ‘He’s a grown man. It really is none of my business. He likes to be mysterious, and who am I to interrupt?’

…

You turned around, shoving your headphones back on, and quickly approached the center elevator in the middle of the floor. Other spiders send you waves and quick acknowledgments, and you do your best to answer them slightly despite being on a mission.

You rush into the elevator, closing the doors before anyone else can enter. Pressing your palm to the reader on the console and waiting for the extra buttons to show up, you hoped no one needed to get on this specific elevator.

The panel lights up, and five extra buttons quickly emerge from the metal, sliding into place seamlessly. You quickly pressed the second one and waited for the elevator to jolt to a start before tilting your head toward the ceiling.

“LYLA, you there?” You called, squinting at the bright light of LYLA’s projection despite having anticipated it. LYLA hovers near the button panel, on a special little square section just for her. She grins, crossing her legs as she files her nails.

“Yessum, Bite?” She crooned, fluttering her eyes from behind pink-tinted glasses. You waved lightly, leaning on the back wall of the elevator.

” Is Miguel in his hiding hole again?” You asked, to check. LYLA paused her filing and pursed her lips, tilting her head.

“Not sure I can tell you that! The boss said no one should bother him.” LYLA hummed. You gave her a look, vaguely amused.

“Since when have you listened to Miguel?” You laughed. LYLA grinned sharply and nodded, her holographic form standing up as soon as the elevator doors opened with a ping.

“You’re right! He’s up here, ‘been moping for hours. Have fun.” She waved cheekily, the hologram quickly shutting off as you stepped onto the floor.

The five extra floors you had clearance to were Miguel’s personal floors. Few other people had access to them (including Margo and Jess, to name some), which made them prime real estate for when Miguel needed to run from people.

“Miguel?” You called, cautious of how dark the living space seemed to be. You almost thought LYLA had lied when a gruff voice startled you out of your head.

“What are you doing here.” He answered, voice low and angry the way it usually was. Your ears quickly clock the direction it came from, leading you toward the balcony part that wasn’t visible through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The door was left open, cold air billowing into the room. The chill immediately nips at your nose and cheeks when you step out.

“Sorry. People were looking for you, apparently. I thought you left hours ago.” You shrugged, shoving your hands in your coat pockets. Miguel glared at you from where he sat, slumped into an oversized patio chair. He’s nursing a glass of whiskey, the knuckles on his hands turning a prominent pinkish tone due to the freezing air.

“Who?” He asked, bringing the glass to his lips. His cheeks and nose are flushed from the cold, too. Despite his black knit sweater, Miguel had foregone any essential layering that would have saved him from the cold.

” 31913. Didn’t tell me why, though. He seemed a little nervous.” You said, clenching and unclenching your fists in your pockets. ‘Shit, it’s so damn cold out here.’

“You didn’t ask?” He said accusingly, face sour. Your face screwed up.

” I’m off the clock. Whatever he’s got going on has to wait until I come back in next week.” You defended, disregarding the scoff Miguel let out. Your brow furrows, making a point to let your eyes rove over his form. 

” You should head inside, you know. You’ll get a killer cold out here with no layers.” You said, not unfamiliar with his unhealthy habits. Miguel ignored you and brought his cup back to his mouth, lowering his head.

You sighed heavily and stepped closer to him, ignoring how Miguel stiffened and shifted to face you like you were a threat. With one quick motion, you unloop the scarf around your neck and weave it around his, leaving it folded neatly and covering his mouth.

“I really don’t want to deal with you sick. Merry Christmas, Miguel. I’ll see you next week.” You say, leaving the stunned-still man on the balcony and making your way back to the elevator.

You hear the chair screech backward just as the elevator doors click shut, and LYLA’s back on her little perch without prompting.

“Thanks, he’s been brooding outside for hours. He’s the worst when he’s sick.” She whines, pulling at her short hair. You laugh, nodding. 

“Of course. I hate him sick too; it’s like he’s four years old when he’s got a runny nose.” You say, grimacing. LYLA beams.

“Yeah, yeah! Exactly. I’ll remind him to give that scarf back, by the way. Have a Merry Christmas!” LYLA yells, waving bye enthusiastically as you arrive on the ground floor and start your trek back to the bus station as initially planned.

You walk to the station with the wind biting at your face, and when you return to the HQ a week later, you adamantly refuse to tell anyone about the snotty nose you had the entire week prior.

ago.

note — there's not much miguel in this, ironically. i had a ton of fun just writing the spider world so, sorry!! i think it fits, though. Miguel is a very guarded man and this little fic is sort of a view into how you manage to worm through his walls (without even trying to, really.) p.s i love lyla

©neevblanc 2023 // do not plagiarize or repost

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔼𝕟𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TW: sentient

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @hayillaaaaaaa @miguelito-maruti-blog

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : An Encounter With the Unknown!? Cosmic Opera - Emu Otori

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Recently, you found a single player VR game that you absolutely fell in love with!! It had great storyline, fun minigames, managable and enjoyable exploration... it almost had no flaws! And even if you wouldn't like something, you could usually jsut skip it, thanks to not everything being forced!

Few days ago, you got on higher level~ Being 30! It wasn't much compared to the max. level, but you were still pretty proud of achieving this in such a short time~

"(Now I just have to craft some stuff and I can... Who's that?)"

You wondered as you noticed weirdly dressed for a village, short pink haired girl that was standing nearby the crafting table. She was... hitting it with minerals? As if trying to figure out how to start the process... as if she was the player...

But you just took it as fun NPC and side quest ocassion so you came up and crafted something out of minerals you took from her and handed her finished product, which she seemed to appreciate!

"This is so cool!! I was waiting so long for a player to come by finally!"

"(Is this part of some late April Fool's joke?)"

You couldn't help but question... though overthinking won't do much good, so for now... you might as well go on with it and see where it goes! It's just a game after all! It's not like anything can actually happen, right?

What concerned you more was that this NPC was staring right at you and you had no dialogue options available.

"Why's there no dialogue options..."

"Oh! That's because you can just talk to me! I'm not like other NPC's!"

"What-"

"I'm Emu!! And looking at your profile... you must be Y/N!"

"Yeah... you got it..."

"Hehe~ I'm so glad! Hey, how about this! I'll show you super duper cool place!!"

"(I meet weirdly sentient NPC, praying it's some kidn of joke... do I seriously want to go with them just to calm down my curiosity?)"

You took a moment to think a little bit about this offer, not wanting to jump into this too quickly...

"(Yeah, I do. I'm curious.) Sure."

"Yay!! No one ever agreed before! But I promise you won't regret that! You'll LOVE it!"

Not even getting a chance to react, you got teleported into some... weird space location... You never saw it on any spoilers, trailers or anything!

Not to mention the fact this felt so.. real... you lietrally couldn't feel ground under your feet... this must be a very cool and detailed design! Right?

"What the hell is this..."

"This is space of the game! Kinda like the backstage~ Even players become part of the game here!"

"Coo- Wait. What do you mean 'become part of the game'?"

She just shrugged and took your hand, jumping over invisible stones as you tried matching her peace. During your little tour, she pointed out many places... but what you found the weirdest was that through all of this, you couldn't see your stats anymore and she always brushed off your question about it...

You were honestly pretty creeped out by now, so you wanted to log out while she wasn't looking... but the menu wasn't working... Classic movement that you'd make to open the menu, didn't work... And when you raised your hands to take off the helmet, you felt just cold air...

"Emu... Why can't I get out...?"

"Oh! I told you! It's backstage of the game!"

"That's... this is very cool place but uh... I need to go now."

"Awh... are you busy? Will you come back tomorrow?"

"I'll... try...?"

That was straigh up lie. You weren't about to just come back as if nothing happened, but you needed to play a little play pretend to make it easier on yourself...

"Alright! I'll help you get back to the game world!"

"(Well that was easy...)"

You thought as she took you back to the village where you met her, as if nothing ever happened... You just dropped quick "bye" before quickly taking off the helmet, not even bothering to save and quit the game.

This was... too weird to be happening... She was literally sentient! You considered reporting this to game developers... but could you really do that after seeing she just wanted to make friends, despite being a bit too hyper about everything?

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[heyyallitsbethfanfic]

The Ghost of You

The sun beamed down on the two lovers resting on a giant mushroom top in Alfheim Online. They had been working on clearing a bunch of side quests with their party that day. But to one of the two, it felt off. His movements were sluggish, his body disconnected from the avatar it resided in. To most, it would seem normal, his movements still had the disciplined form of someone who had spent his life training in combat, despite him giving up the sword in the real world long ago. But to his partner, both in combat and in soul, she could tell he was struggling. 

“Kirito, are you feeling alright?” The autumn-haired girl stoked the dark hair of the noir boy who laid his head on her stomach.

“Hmm? Yeah everything’s fine Asu, why?” While his demeanor was calm, she could tell there was something eating him up inside.

“Honey, I’m your wife, and your partner too. If there’s anything troubling you, I’ll be right by your side to fight it with you.” The raven haired spriggan closed his eyes and weakly smiled. He knew that Asuna was his true other half, a partner in life and in love, but he was worried about something that might tear them apart.

“Asuna… I need to convert my account over again. I might be gone for a bit, so if you could… While I’m gone, please give Yui and Strea twice the amount of love as normal.” He thought of his daughters, and hated the thought of needing to leave them behind for any time, but he knew there was something he had to face alone.

“Of course honey, but call them every night at least okay?”

“Heh, been doing that since we escaped SAO. I can promise that won’t change one bit.” But some other things might.” He left the thought to himself, he wasn’t ready to commit to any real change, but he needed to see the truth for himself.

“Do you need me to look after Excalibur for you? You lost most of your items the last time you converted over…”

“Haha, nah that’s not an issue. Sinons already got that covered, after all, it’s her sword, she just knighted me with it.” He laughed seeing the flustered face of his wife, even though their situation was more open than most, she still got a little jealous of the girl’s hanging off of him, especially the teal sniper who taunted the two of them the most. “And if she converts, it should default to Yui now since she’s taken my inventory any other time I convert.”

“Alright, we should get back to the others to continue the quests now, good chance for you to say bye before you log off for a while anyway.”

“Of course. Dontcha go marryin someone else without my permission first~”

“H-hey!”

“Oh come on, I’ve seen how Liz stares at ya Asu. I’m sure she’ll take great~ care of you while I’m gone~” He giggled, imagining the sight of his wife and Liz locked in an embrace together.

“Even if she does, you’ll still always be my beloved partner, promise~”

“Heh. Didn’t take much convincing- you’re so cute.”

The spriggan rested on the undine, never wanting to leave her. But today, he needed to face his fears. Alone. A mission for the solo player. 

…

A year prior, an event stuck itself to Kirito’s brain like a parasyte. He could never fully escape the thought of it. He had logged into Gun Gale Online in order to investigate the DeathGun case. Due to the gacha system that determined avatars in the game, Kirito had awoken to the sight of his hair in his face. Long streaks of grey locks adorned him, framing his soft face. Staring at his reflection in the windows of nearby shops in the dark brutalist environment, he noticed things in himself he was afraid of. His figure was soft and feminine, far from the typical soldier of this world. It was not too dissimilar to his real life appearance, but the pronounced hips and narrow shoulders made him shift in place uncomfortably. He stared at his visage, noting he looked as if he was Sugu’s big sister instead of her big brother. He slowly met his own gaze. His eyes had always been a dark grey, something his adoring sister always teased him for, calling him a zombie with the dead gaze that adorned him. But that day he saw something different in them, where a blank glaze once covered his view, there were now highlights visible for the first time, and a deep purple hue that left him breathless. He grasped at his chest over his heart and was hit with a deep pain, and an even deeper longing. But he had to move forward, he had a mission.

A week ago Kazuto had been out with his sister Suguha though they were only related tangentially as cousins. That became something Kazuto had become fixated on as throughout their day out, multiple people had stopped them, asking if they were twin sisters. Kazuto didn’t look his age due to his years in Sword Art Online, his body permanently stunted by his inability to move for so long. But he was really wondering if he truly looked that similar to Suguha because of it. He recalled that as he was young, they were confused for twin girls all the time, but they were younger then… It made sense right? Kazuto stole an old skirt from Suguha’s closet one day as she was out practicing kendo. She hadn’t worn it in years, he figured she wouldn’t notice if it were gone… He slipped it on and stared himself in the mirror that spanned the back of his bedroom door. Despite the clear difference in their “endowment” Kazuto had seen as bright as day the connection. Even if his chest wasn’t voluptuous, even if his hips weren’t as pronounced, he saw the obvious connections between him and his sister. His face was soft and round like hers. And in the center of it all, he saw it again, his dead eyes replaced with the loving purple gaze he’d seen back in Gun Gale. He threw off the skirt in a fit of anger at himself. He stashed it beneath his bed, he didn’t wanna look at it. But… his heart longed for something regardless.

Today, as Kirito logged out of Alfheim Online, he converted his account over to Gun Gale Online once more. He needed to spend more time there… He needed to see himself again. 

…

A dark raven was prone atop a clocktower, aiming down at the streets below. Through the scope of their Hecate sniper rifle, they could nearly see the stubble on the men in the party stories below them.

BANG!

A single clean shot had decimated two of the party members.

“I’ve gotten good with this thing… heh.” The shadowy figure smiled to themselves as they lined up another shot. “Maybe now I can give her that duel I promised…”

BANG!

A full party wiped in such a short amount of shots. Too easy. The slender gargoyle on the roof brushed their long locks behind them, the deep grey shimmered with silver highlights despite the soot and ash coating it. Suddenly, they heard someone ascending the wall in front of them. They prepped their shot, but they were caught off guard by a blur of seafoam green, before their eyes met a familiar smiling face in their scope.

“Hey Sinon, come here often?” A playful taunt escaped their lips.

“Yes actually, I do believe you’re in my spot after all Kirito.” She giggled, a sight Kirito had grown to love as Sinon had opened up more and more. “I’m surprised you’re using a real weapon instead of wildly flailing your photon sword about.”

“Oh you just miss seeing me with a sword in my hands dontcha?” Sinon blushed and angrily pouted, another adorable sight. “Well, my lovely partner here in GGO taught me so much, I figured I’d honor her by using the same weapon as I practiced. I need to give ya a good duel sometime after all.~”

As he grew closer to each of his friends, the one-sided teasing evolved into a playful banter between them, learning how to push each and every one of their buttons.

“So that’s why you left ALO huh? Trying to get a headstart on training for our next B.O.B. huh?”

“I think you’ve got years ahead of me Sinonon~ One week away won’t save me. But truthfully that’s not the full reason.” Their eyes shifted away from Sinon, and towards the floor before smirking and shaking the thought away.

“I’d hope so, it’d be such a shame if my Star-Crossed Soldier was training without me~” She playfully pouted at Kirito.

Ever since the last B.O.B. ended, article after article dubbed the two winners as the Star-Crossed Soldiers, after Kirito’s embrace with Sinon in the trials, their close encounters in the cave and Sinon’s literal fiery embrace at the end to claim their tied victory. Liz had given Kirito an earful before the articles came out with how close he’d been to Sinon, but after the nickname appeared online, Kirito became convinced Liz and Asuna would actually kill him.

“Jeez, don’t let Asu hear you callin’ me that, otherwise I won’t be the only one getting pierced by her rapier.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not lookin’ to get inbetween ya- in that way at least~” The look she gave Kirito with that comment seemed to literally take health off the poor player.

“Anyways, why’re you here if not to train to win over me?”

“...” Kirito shifted his look away from her, and with that motion he accidentally revealed the accessories adorning his hair. Sinon snickered.

“Ah, I see you’re just here to play dress up huh?” Her eyes wandered and looked over the rest of the boy. He still had his trademark carbon fiber cloak, but now his outfit beneath was…

“Kirito… is that my outfit in black and silver?”

The noirette blushed a vibrant crimson, and smiled.

“I think there’s someone you need to meet Shino.” The girl was surprised by Kirito’s use of her real name ingame. He typically tried to refer them as their avatar’s name. This was deeper, this was personal to her. 

Shino grabbed the hands of the shadow before her and looked into it’s eyes.

“I think I know who you mean.” She smiled with pride as they drew closer. “What’s your name? Who is my partner in this world?”

The eyes of purple and blue had met, a synthetic gaze between them escalated into a whirlwind. In a moment, they were back in that cave again, holding eachother close, the heat of their bodies pressed against eachother.

“In this world… And all others… My name is Kiriko.”

With those words, Sinon saw Kiriko revert back to how she saw her initially. Another girl, just like her.

They spent the next week training for the upcoming B.O.B. ingame, and shopping for Kiriko in the real world. The night of the battle, Kiriko had stayed at Shino’s apartment, so they could celebrate their victory.

…

A flurry of gunshots was silenced by the cruel end of a photon sword. Despite her training with a sniper, Kiriko decided to return to the classics for most of the match. Her and Sinon made for a perfect duo as front line and supporting fire. Her favorite moment had been when Sinon and her had been cornered, with Sinon facing her while she had her back to two enemies. Sinon fired at Kiriko, and she split the bullet just like in their trial duel, with the two pieces finding their home in the skulls of their attackers. It was a game now, just for fun, and they wanted to perform.

“I suppose that is the last of them huh?”

“Suppose so.”

The two stood against the other, scratched, bruised, covered in virtual blood of both their own, and of others. And now with all cameras on them. 

“You ready to give the girls at home a show Kiriko?”

They smiled devilishly at each other.

“Always.”

In a swift movement, Kiriko removed her heavy black cloak, revealing the matching outfit with Sinon’s own. It was practically bikini armor, except for soldiers instead of for knights, despite Sinon’s insistence it wasn’t. Sinon revealed a photon sword of her own, and as the cloak hit the dusty ground behind Kiriko, both lept towards eachother with fire in their eyes. The clash of purple and green blades sent small debris around them flying, each strike was more powerful than the last. But it was less of a duel, and more of a dance. Every movement, despite the power, was elegant, with perfect footwork and seamless motion. They circled eachother, blade against blade. With every strike forward, the other responded with a dodge and their own strike. Neither had grazed the other, only their sword’s connecting the two. The chorus of slashes against slashes sent both blade’s flying, as Kiriko caught Sinon’s and Sinon caught Kiriko’s, and they continued their masquerade. They drew closer and closer together, despite the blade’s repelling eachother, their bodies had called to eachother. In a flash both lights extinguished, and the two embraced. They smiled at eachother, aware of the camera right beside their faces. They closed their eyes and their lips clashed against eachother. Love blooming on the battlefield. Sinon pressed Kiriko’s blade against her back, and ignited it, impaling the two of them together, as they tied another B.O.B.

…

The pair awoke from their brawl back in the real world. Both had imprints on their faces from where their Amusphere’s had sat on them. They giggled to eachother as they traced the marks, holding eachother’s faces. 

“I’m glad you got Asu’s approval before all that, I know that Liz’ll still tear both of us apart though” Sinon snicked, imagining the pink leprechaun’s stunned face watching their dance.

“Hehe, yeahhhhh. Just because me and Asuna are poly doesn’t mean the jealousy’ll ever just up and leave. Liz is probably upset that I managed to steal both Asuna and you for myself.” 

“Oh I think she’ll be more jealous of me, after all, I was the first one with the new girl in the group.” She laughed at the thought, knowing all of the girls’ not-so-subtle-crushes. 

“Oh yeah, speaking of, I guess tonight they all get to meet Kiriko at the party in ALO huh?”

“As long as you’re not nervous, and I’ll be there supporting you always.”

“With you by my side, I’ll always be ready. Let’s hop over and meet them.”

An evil grin reached Shino’s lips.

“Welllllll you and I both need to transfer our accounts back over, so you should set that up real quick.”

“Right, right of course. Better not keep them waiting-”

Kiriko turned away from Shino to her laptop, starting the slow transfer of their accounts. With her attention away, Shino slipped out of her top and pajama bottoms, and waited for Kiriko’s full undivided attention.

“Alright we should be good in around twenty minu- HUH!”

Kiriko’s face was lit ablaze by the sight of the scantily clad girl infront of her.

“Hehehe, whatcha waitin for? I know we got the cash prize, but it’s time for our real~ reward now.”

She unbuckled the back of her bra and let the garment slip down, exposing her modest, but perky chest with a light bounce.

“We won’t keep them waiting long- but I already told Asuna- I get first dibs tonight- which means I get first ever dibs on Kiriko~”

She pounced on Kiriko, pinning her to the bed. 

They showed up in Alfheim, an hour later than everyone expected.

…

Sinon entered the main living space of the home their party had shared. Luckily everyone was enjoying themselves already, but she still stammered out an apology for being so late. 

“Jeez, is Kirito not coming?” Liz said in a huff. “I suppose he just doesn’t wanna show after that little stunt you two pulled.”

Sinon blushed heavily, knowing that stunt was far from the worst thing they’d done. Asuna crept behind Sinon and pulled her in, kissing her on the cheek.

“Mwah~ That’s for stealing away my poor innocent Kirito~” She playfully toyed with the cat, happy with the new arrangement they’d found. But the cat’s face lit up, imagining how there was no innocence left in either of their bodies laying beside eachother in the real world. She shook the thought away.

“Hehe, just borrowing her~ she’s yours again tonight”

The party went silent

“HER?!”

As if on queue, a new cait sith appeared from the door. She was adorned with a black cloak and risque armor set. Her signature long grey hair fell down her back, looking just like Kirito in GGO. And she could barely look up at the party as she announced “H-hey everyone. My name’s Kiriko…”

Before anyone had the chance to say anything, Asuna, Yui and Strea all embraced the girl.

“Yayyyyy I get two mommies now!” Yui cheered

“Ah well that explains the armor choices…” Leafa sputtered out.

“We leave Sinon alone with Kiriko for a week and she comes back a girl… Yeah that tracks actually.” Liz was practically beaming.

“I was wondering about Kiriko’s choice of attire in GGO… But now I can’t wait to see her choices in here~” Philia dreamed of all the different event cosmetics and rare treasures Kiriko could now be adorned in.

Silica and Argo were hovering around the new cait sith in their presence. 

“So was I the only one who knew Kii-gal was a girl?”

“Maybe! But now I get an adoptive big sister!” 

“Hey! Kiriko’s my actual big sister!”

“We can share!”

The crowd started talking inbetween themselves, talking about all the fun things they can do now that Kiriko’s a girl, and Asuna took this as an opportunity to pull her to the side.

“So this was what you were worried about earlier huh?”

“I was worried that you’d leave when you found out what I’d been going through… I’m glad I can still be yours.”

“Oh honey… I love you, husband, wife, partner, I didn’t fall in love with a boy, I fell in love with you. The hero who saved us from Aincrad, and the caring parent to our kids. This is just a new side of you I get to love, and I’m going to love every second of learning about you Kiriko. Now ummm. After the party can I head over? It’s been a bit since we um.”

“Heh- about that… If you wanna head over, you’ll have to ask Shino if she’s okay with you staying…”

“Sh-Shino? Are you diving from her apartment?”

“Hahaha, well, she did call first dibs…”

Asuna laughed and pulled Kiriko into a kiss. She was glad that Kiriko was still hers, even if she was being shared between a few others. Since for the both of them, regardless of all the others they would come to love, they were still that happy couple from back in Aincrad, soulmates from then, to forever.

[snowball-doie]

omg, remember the jin condom scandal?? something similar would 100% happen to yuta

Girl this is how you know I’m new to kpop and not an Army (PLEASE DONT COME FOR MY THROAT IM SORRY, SPARE MY FAMILY)…. I didn’t know about this. I had to go Google it lmao. Like tell me how I knew old sasaeng lore but not this? Anyhow.

Yuta hates making videos. He hates live streaming. He hates doing literally anything that takes time away from making music, practicing for shows, performing, or simply relaxing at home with Ahri and the boys. But there are ofc the rare occasions where he’ll make a TikTok for Taeyong’s sake, or he’ll do a livestream for Ahri’s. When she bought him a Lego set, he was a little bit confused because….. what was he going to do with a Lego skull? “Use it as decor in your room,” she explained, “I got this to go with it,” and then it was literally a Lego butterfly set too lmaooo- “You need to interact with fans more, and I overheard you and Tae arguing over how the company wants to see you do a livestream before the end of the month—“ “I’m just gonna say hi, bye, then log off” “Orrrrrrrrr you could build these and answer their questions…..” So that was how Yuta ended up in his bedroom late one night, sitting at his desk, building Lego sets that his girlfriend gave him (but he publicly had to give credit to one of the boys instead). He answered fans’ questions. He talked about his day and how rehearsals were going. He bragged about an upcoming project that he was excited about. But then, suddenly, about 15 minutes too late, Taeyong ran in breathlessly. “Turn it off-“ He grabbed Yuta’s phone and shut the stream off. “What the hell?!!” Yuta cursed. “YOU DIDNT CLEAN YOUR ROOM FIRST?!!!” Taeyong grabbed the box of condoms that were on the floor next to Yuta’s bed. He had cleaned up, he put all the sex toys away neatly and he thought he shoved the box under the bed…. How he didn’t notice it sooner, he wasn’t sure. “Do you think they noticed?” “It’s all over Twitter!” Taeyong bopped Yuta’s forehead. Yuta shrugged and said sarcastically, “Oh nooooo, they know that an adult idol has sexxx, oohhhhh. See, hyung, this is why I don’t do livestreams.”

Yuta does NAWT give a FUCK about that scandal. Honestly he thinks it’s stupid people even care that he has condoms, but he’s also quite flattered by the amount of people who are like “I knew it” when they find out they’re XL condoms. Bro’s ego was def boosted.

[cynical-cemeteries]

Girl, this is not a question, i just wanna tell you my sad story since you like raligon so much.

So, this started when I log in the game, It was the day the raligon event started, but I didn't know that, so I was playing and everything, and I got out of the game. THE NEXT DAY I LOG IN IN AND IT TURNS OUT THAT I MISSED THE FIRST DAY OF RALIGON'S STORY. EVEN WHEN I PLAYED BEFORE. And i can't summon him because i don't have enough linkstones.

That's all. I hope you have a wonderful day. Bye

hi!!!

yea i've learned that the first day is only 12 hours long because it's based off of korean time, so it's harder to log in since the time-frame is much shorter

for me at least, it started at 11 pm and then it reset at 11 am the following morning, and i checked the game a few mins after it started just to make sure i didn't miss it this time 😭 maybe they can fix it so the time-frame is longer?? but it's good to know for the future!!

i hope you're able to get him soon or maybe on a rerun!! i just got him like a few hours ago when he first released and he's already (almost) maxed out and built (i say almost because i can't get anyone else at lvl 70 😭😭 i'm not even close to getting the needed materials--). i think he'll be pretty good for earth-focused teams