#like. YEAH I listened to the soundtrack back when everyone was obsessed with it

[blankinsidecards]

in a devastating turn of events, my sister, who (I thought!) knows me better than anyone in the world, has bought me a Hamilton tshirt because she “knows” I’m a “big fan”

[kuiinncedes]

AKJDDNDSJDBDJJSHDHSJAJ

[lorethebookworm]

* takes a break from chewing the walls and banging her head on the table while listening to the entirety of the Hazbin hotel's soundtrack*

OOOHHH let me tell you one thing that pisses me off so much but that I'm also obsessed with because it shoves in your face how completely and utterly lost in their bullshit the angels are

OKAY SO ,you know that scene where charlie is pleading her case in the court ?

When the angels agree to keep watching what angel dust will do charlie is so relieved that she shouts "Fuck yeah!" and EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY GIVES HER THE STINK EYE.

Meanwhile do you know how many times Adam swears during that scene? I WON'T COUNT IT BUT IT'S PROBABLY A WHOLE FUCKING LOT

Does ANYONE even pause for a second when he does it? Do they have ANY reaction whatsoever? NO

They are so deeply convinced that the division between angels and demons is fair and right that they would never question an angel , not even when ANGELS go on MURDER SPREES FOR FUN

So obviously when Charlie swears it's wrong , it's a clear demonstration that she is one of THEM , one of those sinful creatures who belong in hell forever.

When Adam swears it's just Adam being Adam. Is he mean and obnoxious? Yes , but he's an angel. Is he a sadistic bitch ? Yes , but he's an angel. Is he a perverted asshole who swears like a sailor ? YES, BUT HE IS AN ANGEL. And that fact alone makes him powerful and worthy and good.

Okay I'm done now *goes back in her cave to rewatch all the episodes *

[aliteral-ghost]

This is the piece I did for @hermitzine! It was so much fun to be a part of this project and get to work with everyone! The theme of this zine was music and I hope that's obvious in this piece :)

~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of the record skipping is Joe’s alarm clock this morning, and it’s only because it skips multiple times that he actually gets up. Darn, he slept in again, and now he has to stay up late again so he can finish the parts of the machine that he needs to get done, and it’ll just end with him sleeping in again. At least he has–oh. The record that has been playing all night (and also for the past few weeks, if he’s honest) has a massive groove in it, tearing through all of the ridges and splintering the vinyl.

“Aw, man,” Joe mutters, staring at the destroyed disk in his hands. “That’s my last one of those.” To be fair, he probably should have expected something like this to happen after using the record player while placing hundreds of blocks of sand, but it’s still sad. To be fair, this has happened to the last five disks he overplayed, but Joe is nothing if not persistent. 

The next day he and Cleo are halfway through their weekly crafting session when they hum. “No music today?” Joe waves a hand.

“Some days the best music is the sound of nature around you.” He sets down a pencil and listens to said sound of nature, which is currently someone very violently chopping down trees. “You know, be in the moment, and all that.” He’s never lived in the moment once in his life and they both know it, but then again neither has Cleo.

“Sure.” Cleo pauses for just a minute. “Not this music, though. Ugh, who is…” They both glance over across the river, where Keralis is hard at work collecting wood. He pauses briefly to wave once he’s noticed them looking, smiling widely. They both wave back and Keralis continues, moving on to the next tree.

“Do you ever think about how our lives have a soundtrack?” Joe says after a minute, mindlessly coloring the sheets of paper he brought, tracing out the blueprint for a part of the pinball machine. Cleo looks over from where she’s drawing in her own notebook. 

“No?” They say, voice lilting up like a question. “I don’t? Why, do you?” She wrinkles her eyebrows, more focused on the calligraphy than really focusing on the conversation. It’s how they roll, most weeks. Joe talks and Cleo nods along.

“Well, sure! I like to think about the song that might be playing while things are happening. For a while, it was otherside, but…” Cleo glances over again, this time more interested. 

“You broke all of your disks, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I must have played them in the sand too much or something. Whomp, whomp.” He follows the statement up with a laugh, sort of high-pitched and frantic. “D’you think we all have different soundtracks then, if we do?”

“Oh, for sure,” Cleo says, in a voice that still sounds like they’re just humoring him. “Like Doc? His soundtrack is all scary, like heavy metal, right? There’s no way he and Scar have the same backing tracks.” They pause for just a second. “No, I lied. Doc’s isn’t heavy metal, he’s too much of a softie. Pearl’s is. She’s bloody hardcore.”

That’s an accurate assumption, Joe guesses. He hasn’t been privy to much Pearl has done this season, but he’s fairly certain she just built an entire Ender dragon out of pilfered dragon eggs. If there’s someone able to intimidate Cleo, it’s her.

“So what’s yours, then?” Cleo asks, setting her pen down and leaning on her hands. “Whatever song you’re obsessed with now over and over?”

“I don’t have much time for anything else.” Joe laughs again. “Besides, sometimes the best soundtrack is the same song, over and over, just played at different tempos depending on mood.”

This earns him a patented Cleo lookTM as she turns back to her journal, picking up a small knife. They don’t talk for a while after that, instead listening to the leaves rustle, water flow, and trees topple. 

“Here,” they say eventually, after the wood-collecting has gotten to be too much, and pass Joe a record. “Put this on, I know you’re aching to.” He gasps, energy he hasn’t felt in a while jolting through him, and pulls out his jukebox. 

“Thanks, Cleo!”

The aforementioned record is a simple piano tune, the melody and harmony weaving in and out of each other’s path, spinning down the river and floating high into the air. It fills the server with its music, and although Joe knows that the little song is barely reaching further than Keralis he’d like to think that Tango, in the depths of Decked Out 2, and False, high up on a snowy peak, and Grian and Doc, fighting their battles over the perimeter, can hear it. 

It’s a song that, although the notion is cliche, feels like home. It has managed to encapsulate the feeling that persists, from all ten years of Hermitcraft, of family and friends and feeling like belonging.

[oldangryslytherin]

Tagged by: @vaserlord :3 thank you my beloved!

This is so fun because I love sharing facts no one asks! I'm gonna get deep into it btw. Prepare yourself to scroll

Last song: currently listening to Charybdis

Love the vengeance saga haha

While filling this I started listening to dangerous

Fun fact I know every single like the back of my hand and I can play all the characters now ok bye

Favorite color:

Sorry I can't choose this is my top three. Emerald (palette), violet (pallette), Prussian blue LOOK AT IT ITS SO PRETTY

Last movie: last movie I watched was a rewatch of but I'm a cheerleader:) I know that movie straight (haha) and backwards. The last movie I watched for the first time was actually Christiane F. Finally watched it after avoiding it for a long time. It was... I'm speechless it's def s necessary movie.

Last tv show: rewatch of crazy ex girlfriend im a sucker for musicals and complicated characters. Last series I watched for the first time was baby reindeer months ago. Besides it I have rewatched stuff or just left the series without finishing so I can't even remember

Sweet/savory/spicy: never learnt to eta spicy food :( my mom disliked it so I tried it as an adult and it hurts too much to start liking it. I prefer savory, I try to avoid sweets because I tend to binge as soon as I have sugar haha

Relationships: NONE. I'm to much of a coward to admit I like someone. Had like one relationship when I was 15 with a guy who kept asking and I ended it after 4 days because ew the fuck you mean you wanna kiss me also don't talk shit about Undertale >:( (I really liked the game). Besides he said Homestuck was stupid, so I told him he was stupid. After that I just went hm I'm definitely asexual. And that lasted till not too long ago when I realized that not everyone thinks about women like oh wow they're so beautiful and smart and omg I would love to marry one and we can have a cute house and travel and kiss. That was literally my train of thoughts lmao so yeah. I have 0 bitches.

Last thing I googled: who were the cows oddyseus crew killed. And I went wait that's not Apollo. Then asked Helios god. Then I went difference between Apollo and Helios. Then went Icarus. Then went back to Apollo because he's really cool.

Latest obsession: currently epic the musical. I've listened to the entire soundtrack multiple times a day. I can know what song is playing in the first second. That's how bad it's gotten. My permanent obsession is tomarry duh. And before epic my obsession was The Magnus Archives

Looking forward to: honestly? GETTING AN ACTUAL JOB SO I CAN TRAVEL. I want to go to so many places. Plus I wanna learn to draw, I want to get back to it, i was studying it then ran out of money and when I have free time I write instead of study art. I also want to one day publish an actual book even if no one reads it, I just want it. Also learn more than what I know? I can speak Spanish and English (barely) plus have basics of Italian and Portuguese but not enough to talk I can read it tho. I want to study German again (barely A2 level after years of self study), plus now because of epic I want to learn Greek and that would be impossible I'm sure.

Tagging: @nonsensicalnonsense00 @riverxsong-ao3 @tommarvoloriddlesdiary @a-bored-idiot @eidelvyd @screamingpotatoes @catjar91 @kashlyn I want to tag more of you but I don't know if you like these things :( if you wanna do it but are not tagged do it and tag me :3 also if I tagged you but you don't want to it's completely fine. Bye!

[themultifandomgal]

Adam Ruzek- Single Dad Pt2

"So she actually threw up on you?"

"Yep it was awful. Like I was so embarrassed" Adam chuckles "but what about you. Any bad dates?" Adam and I are sat eating lunch in a really cute café

"Ughh to many to count. There was this one guy I started seeing and we were meant to be going on a date, he had picked me up but on the way to the restaurant I had a phone call to go back home as my mom had been called into work in an emergency. He really kicked off and refused to see me again. Actually refused to take me home. I had to call a taxi"

"What a jerk"

"Tell me about it"

"So what does you mom do then for work?"

"Oh she's a brain surgeon at Chicago Med. Sometimes she will get called in and I have to look after Jack"

"What about your dad? Where's he?"

"He and my mom split up when I was 10. Then she met Jacks dad who's actually in the army so we don't see him all that much"

"Oh I'm sorry"

"No it's ok. I get on with both my dad and Jacks. So does mom, she thought it would be best for us all if everyone got on"

"That's good. I wish I got on with Ally's mum, you know for her sake. I'm lucky I have some good friends"

"I'm sorry that her mom isn't involved, but it's her loss right? And I think it's sweet how your friends love her as if she was their biological family" my phone dings "sorry"

"No problem" I check my phone to see mom has been called in to do a surgery

"I'm so sorry, but I've got to go look after Jack"

"Hey no it's fine don't worry about it"

"I really am sorry" I stand up

"Hey why don't you bring him to mine? we can take them to the park"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes of course" Adam texts me his address

"Ok I'll see you in a bit then"

"But why?"

"Because were going to go to the park with Ally and Adam" I take Jacks coat of the hanger and help him put it on

"But why?"

"Jack please just do as I say"

"Where's mommy gone?"

"She's got to make people better" I finally get Jack out the house and into his car seat

"How long is the drive?"

"Not long" I type in Adams address into maps and start the car while Encanto soundtrack plays, Jacks current obsession

"We don't talk about Bruno" Jack yells making me laugh "no no no"

After a few minutes and a lot of singing we arrive at Adams

"Ok now you have to be a good boy for me ok?"

"Ok YN" I lift him out of his car seat then lock the car. We walk up to the door

"Can I press the bell?" Jack asks pointing to the door bell. I lift him up and he presses the bell. A few seconds later Adam opens up the door

"Hey bud you ready for a play date?" Adam asks Jack

"Yeah. Guess what" before Adam can even breath Jack is already telling him that we listened to the Encanto songs

"You did did you?" Adam looks at me

"Yup. We don't talk about Bruno on repeat. All the way here"

"Well Encanto is Ally's favourite film so shall we put it on?"

"Can we?" Jack asks me

"Yes of course"

"Yay" we walk in and Adam takes us to the living room. Ally is playing with a doll

"Hi Ally how are you?" I ask

"Good" she says shyly with her hair half in a bobble and half out

"I'm guessing your daddy did your hair?" I ask and she nods

"Can you do hair?" She asks me 

"Come here" I say as Adam puts on Disney+ and finds Encanto for the kids. I do a French plait for her

"YN and I will make you some snacks" Adam and I walk into the kitchen

"Sorry this isn't the date we planned" I sigh as Adam passes me a bowl and some crisps

"It's ok. We can always have another date" he shrugs

"So it's not been a complete disaster then?" I ask raising my eyebrows

"Definitely not" we take the snacks over to the kids while they are mesmerised by the TV. Adam and I go back into the kitchen to talk

"How often does Jack get to see his dad?" he asks making a drink

"Maybe every 4 months for a week? This is probably the longest he's been away, it's been about 6 months since he was home"

"Wow. How does your mother cope?"

"She works, a lot. That's why I help out, take Jack out and do things with him"

"Your good with him. Most siblings wouldn't do what you do"

"You think?" I raise my eyebrows.

For the rest of the afternoon Adam and I chat, then take Jack and Ally to the park and we also play games with them before it's time for Jack and I to leave. Jack goes to say bye to Ally while I say bye to Adam.

[kyleiskoool]

ok guys this is gonna be a massive non coherent yap but I had this idea and I want to expand on my brain.

okay so like avenue q duh doi and road and nicky dyh doeeieieie....!!!!

okay okay so sos sosoosososos.... fantasies come true. even though we know my opinions on fantasies true dialogue (mid asf) doesn't mean I still wont manipulate canon to my liking.

also little sidetrack i still am kinda iffy about nicky being with rod. i feel like what I meant was that if in new productions they changed the script so that rod and nikcy would be together it wouldn't be very funny esp if they just slotted it in. BUTTTTT if they kept the vibes in the demo- eg rod singing in the move you ruv someone and THE OG FANTASIES COME TRUE DIALOUGE GANG!!!!! okay bc this basically ties in to how I feel fantasies come true works in canon but I still am being rodnicky. but yeah basically this paragraph is saying rodnicky would be good in canon if it was that from the start but not if they changed the script.

okay now onto the actual point of the post. this is based on canon but isn't actually me trying to game theory about this I'm just yapping. OKAY SO IDK HOW TO SAY THIS COHERENTLY BUT obvs rod is sleeping and dreaming. but I was thinking..... so nicky suspects rod IS gay. he doesn't think that rod is gay for nicky and lowkey nobody else ever suggests that in the musical... everyone just thinks he's gay. not that he's in love with nikcy (which is obvs why he was so hesitant to come out) bc like nicky is okay with him being gay, but is he okay with rod like liking him!?!?!? yk!

so obviously nicky thinks rod is a closeted homowhatever but he doesn't understand WHY rod gets so upset about this!!!!!! because yeah being gay is a lot more scary when you like your best friend (been there, done that, tldr is he found out and we stopped being friends) esp in the early 2000's like.... basically where I'm trying to go with this, is everyone thinks he's gay but gay in general not gay for nicky.

this leads into dialouge in fantasies come true but like from nickys perspective. andsince I first listened to the soundtrack I have always wondered what rod was saying... surely he was just mumbling the words of the song... (and now I find what was always in my mind was in your mind too blah blah) but... like hear me out gang... this is where it's already fallen off the rails but continues to tumble down a hill.

i like to think... hey what if rod was saying shit like 'i love you nicky' kinda the same as what dream nicky was saying???? BUT since the dialouge after fct nicky is like "sounded like a nice dream" BC HE HEARD ROD MUMBLING ABOUT LOVING SOME GUY. but you know what nicky heard??? he didn't hear nicky????? rod is numbing in his sleep. WHAT IF NICKY THOUGHT ROD SAID RICKY...

and bc we know nicky is a fucking dumbass he gets upset BC DO YOU WANNA KNOW THE NEXT PART OF OUR STORY.

NICKY IS BI.

THATS WHY HES 'NOT GAY' BC HE'S BI SO HES LIKE TRYING TO LIE TO ROD BUT HES NOT ACTUALLY LYING. and basically he thought rod was gay but wanted him to come out so he knew he had some sort of chance with rod. but obviously the entire time NICKY WAS THE ONE MISSING THE SIGNS. NICKY CANT READ BTW THE LINES. and he's sitting here through their entire friendship like 'i really do think rod is gay but if he's gay I still dont see why he'd like me bc I'm just his college roomie but I want him to come out because there's some possibility' but he's being DELULU GANG he's saying this bc he wants to think that rod likes him back!!!!! but he doesn't actually believe that.

ANYWAYS HE STILL WANTS ROD TO LIVE HIS AUTHENTIC SELF AND all that jazz. so ughhhhh I'm so obsessed with this stupid guy. he hears rod mumble a 'i love you ricky' and then when he goes and gets rod a boyfriend he sees someone called ricky and gets excited knowing rod will like it.

also its an insane concept to gift someone a boyfriend but that's whatever.

anyways thats how i can still be a rodnicky canon truther while it still not actually happening in canon. i feel like I had more to say about this but I have since forgotten.

but yeah so nicky gets sad because he cant be boyfriends with rod but he's still happy because he loves being around rod and AHAHAHHAAHGSHJKJHGFDDFGH.

also more yap while im here you guys are already this far along but oh my god rod nicky is literally so sad like wtf. rod kicking nicky out not because he's a slob. not because he's lazy. not because he never helps but because HE LOVES HIM TOO MUCH IS A CRAZY CONCEPT (and also because he kinda outed him/pressured him but shhhh)

then LATER. WHEN NICKY IS HOMELESS. HE APPROACHES ROD WITH ALL THE JOY IN THE WORLD GOING "HEY BUDDY" AND ROD WITH EVERY FIBER IN HIS BEING HAS TO IGNORE HIM "IS THAT A BREEZE IN THE WIND I HEAR FLOATING PAST" OR WTV THE LINE IS IDHGFGHJKUY. STOP. STOP NOW ROD.

being around you is torture but being away is worse than anything trope has a chokehold on me. nicky depends on rod financially and also as someone who he can just latch onto and talk to and share his curiosity with and rod needs nicky so he can function as a person.

like guys... after nicky was kicked out and everyone else had yk been happy bc kate got her school and whatever, we haven't seen rod for basically ALL of act two apart from the nicky interaction and him going 'i miss nicky :(' in a therapy session with Christmas eve!!!! an then everyone heard a loud bang and they all think HE HAS KILLED HIMSELF. like???? gang. no way you're so gay that YOUR THERAPIST who we can presume he talks to about missing nicky all the bloody time hears a loud bang and think you've ended it like gang.

okay that was kinda irrelevant but like everyone was convinced he was so gay he committed like what. what a crazy end to avenue q if that actually happened tho.

anyways then it turns out he just gets a boyfriend and all of their gay tension was for NOTHING! lame as fuck btw.... don't tease us with gay.

anyways this devolved into the most horrendous horribly thought up rant I have ever made and it did not stay on topic at all. if you read all of that hats off to you because uhhh. lets just say I am a yapper who doesn't actual think about his yap and just lets my fingers go. so uhh yeah that's kindof all my thoughts about rodnicky in canon. not all of them. but yeah how I think that nicky heard and the implications of it ig!!!

[the-sneep-snoop]

ok from ages ten to fourteen i was incredibly obsessed with the hobbit and i haven’t watched it since then , so i’m rewatching it rn and here are some of my thoughts!

- i don’t remember thorin having such a massive forehead

- the soundtrack doesn’t even need the movie to be good you could just listen to it on its own

- the fight scenes r awesome like the one at the beginning with the oakenshield bit and azog’s arm coming off

- i LOVE the unexpected visitors bit it’s iconic and i love it. the whole part where they’re at the shire i love.

- on the other hand, the part with frodo and old man bilbo i don’t remember at all like i have zero recollection of this

- i still remember all the words to misty mountains. and all the words to the whole ‘one ring to rule them all’ thing. and the road goes ever on. i used to memorize stuff like that for fun and write it over and over in my diary

- the lego game version of this movie was AWESOME btw

- seeing fili and kili at the door gave me physical whiplash. it all came back to me in a millisecond. you have NO IDEA how obsessed i was. i can barely comprehend it. this is probably when i started making fanart, cause i still have books fully of shitty anime style fili. i liked kili WAY more tbh but i thought he was harder to draw

- same with thranduil. when he was on the moose and did the stare into the camera i got this intense wave of nostalgia/cringe. i have shitty anime drawings of him too (like a LOT)

- i LOVE the humour from the books and i have to say it translates very well to the movie imo. the troll bit WAS funny ok

- on a side note i know everyone likes lotr better than the hobbit but it always was my favourite. probably cause the book was so good

- i love sebastian the hedgehog

- the effects, to me, seem to hold up pretty well. my family apparently doesn’t agree since they kept asking why it looks so cartoony and whether this is an animated movie or live-action.

- the dwarves are SO silly they’re goofy guys and every single one has transmasc swag

- the shot where they walk down the path to rivendell is my very favourite

- bilbo’s facial expressions are the BEST 😭😭😭 he’s constantly like side eye… side eye……

anyways that’s it for halfway through unexpected journey so yeah like and subscribe for part 2

[maximuswolf]

I live my life full of music.

I live my life full of music. Ever feel like life just needs a soundtrack? That's pretty much my entire existence. I can't remember the last time I went a day without music. Waking up to a favorite music, walking to work with some hype tunes in my ears, and even having a low-key jam session while making dinner - it's all part of the routine.It’s crazy how much music can impact your mood and day. I’ve got different music for everything: one for when I need to get stuff done, another for when I’m feeling down and need a pick-me-up, and even one for those late-night deep thoughts. Anyone else have those moments where a song just perfectly captures what you’re feeling? Like, it's almost spooky how accurate it is.Concerts are my absolute favorite thing. There’s something about the energy of a live show that’s just unbeatable. The crowd, the lights, the feeling of being surrounded by people who love the same music as you – it’s an experience that can’t be matched. I've got this tradition with my best friend where we try to hit up at least one big concert a month. We've seen everyone from indie bands in tiny venues to huge pop stars in massive arenas.And don’t even get me started on music festivals. If you haven’t been to one, you’re missing out. It’s like stepping into another world for a few days. The freedom, the people, the nonstop music – it's heaven on earth. I’ve met some of my best friends at festivals, and there's just this instant bond with people who are as obsessed with music as you are.My Spotify Wrapped at the end of the year is always a bit of a shock, though. Last year, I listened to over 100,000 minutes of music. That’s almost 70 days straight! It's wild to think about how much time I spend with my headphones on. But honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Music has been there for me in the best and worst times of my life. Breakups, new jobs, moving cities – there’s a song for every moment.What’s really cool is discovering new artists and genres. I love falling down a rabbit hole on YouTube or Spotify and coming out the other side with a new favorite band. Right now, I’m really into a mix of everything – from lo-fi hip hop beats when I’m studying to hardcore punk when I’m hitting the gym. Variety is the spice of life, right?Does anyone else have those moments where you hear a song and it instantly takes you back to a specific memory? There's this one song that always reminds me of a summer road trip I took with my friends. Every time I hear it, I can almost feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. It’s like time travel, but with music.Also, shoutout to the people who make the perfect playlists. You know who you are. It’s an art form, honestly. I’ve tried making my own, and while I think I do okay, some people just have a gift for it. They know exactly what songs to put in what order to create a whole vibe.And yeah, music definitely affects relationships too. I once dated someone who had the worst taste in music. Like, they genuinely thought Nickelback was the peak of musical achievement. It was a struggle, I won’t lie. But then again, I've also bonded with people over our shared love for obscure bands and underground artists. It's amazing how music can be such a huge part of your connection with someone.So, how about you guys? What role does music play in your life? Any killer playlists you’re willing to share? Favorite concert experiences? I’m always on the lookout for new tunes and stories. Let’s chat! Submitted June 26, 2024 at 09:57PM by grandiosethicket https://ift.tt/Tctuoa9 via /r/Music

[nezahx]

501ST’S LEGION PLAYLIST

Songs they blast while committing war crimes with Anakin Skywalker

Captain Rex, Appo, Jesse, Echo, Denal, Dogma, Fives, Fox, Hardcase, Kix, droidbait, heavy, cutup, Cody, Boil & Waxer (Yes, I added some 212th attack battalion clones because I love them and, also the whole Domino squad is here because in my perfect word, they all made it to the 501st legion, shhh)

1-Gosthbusters-WALKED THE MOON

If there’s something strange in the galaxy, who you gonna call? 501ST LEGION. Honestly, this song fits their vibe perfectly, even if this playlist is a mere joke, I feel like they would listen to this religiously, specially the Domino squad.

2-Never Gonna Give You Up-Ricky Astley

When master Kenobi and Cody join them for a mission, they enjoy this song unironically, as well as Rex, tho he’s better at hiding it.

3-You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)- Dead Or Alive

Fives and Echo dance to this together, end of story.

4-I Want It That Way- Backstreet Boys

Fives learned the complete choreography and forced the rest of the 501st legion to do so, Obi-wan and the 212th attack battalion always watch the show and clap with proudness at the end, but Boil, Boil wonders how the fuck they’re still alive.

5-Payaso de rodeo- Caballo Dorado

Ahsoka leds the way, boss queen can dance to this in heels, she even adds the little spin, she be forcing everyone to stand up when the song starts playing.

6-Welcome to the jungle- Guns N’ Roses

So, Boil’s song, yes, can someone argue that? No.

7-U Can’t Touch This-MC Hammer

Music hits me so hard, makes me say “Oh my lord, thank you for blessing with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet’- Ahsoka and Anakin sing to this together while the clones do dance break in the middle of the ship.

8-Who Let The Dogs Out- Baha Men

Jesse: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

Everyone else in the ship: ‘BARKS INTENSIVELY’

9-All Star-Smash Mouth

The idea of the tcw characters as the Shrek characters is quite a concept, Anakin is donkey, not arguing that either.

10-I’m Too Sexy- Right Said Fred

Kenobi hates this song more than anything, but that ain’t stopping Fives & Heavy from feeling their selfs.

11-The Ketchup Song (Aserejé) Spanish Version-Las Ketchup

So…Ahsoka knows Spanish and loves to sing music in that language (it haves noting to do with me being Mexican ofc…) So this is her solo, the clones and Anakin hype her up doing their little dancy dance.

12-Pump It-Black Eyed Peas

Dogma be loving this song, and no one can change my mind, also Ahsoka always sings the Fergie verse, no matter what.

13-A Thousand Miles-Vanessa Carlton

Is this a dumb headcanon with zero arguments? Yes, it indeed is, but no one will ever change my mind about it, waxer loves this songs and Kix sings and cries to it every time it plays, no one really knows why, but no one cares enough to ask.

14-Y.M.C.A-Village People

Kenobi use to sing this to Anakin when he was a child to make him feel better, he even thought him the dance, so whenever the song plays the whole ship turns to Obi-wan and expect him to do it.

15-Like a Virging-Madonna

Am I dropping more dumb headcanons about Kix? Yes, because he loves this song, but not as much as Anakin, Anakin breaks his vocal chords when it comes to signing it.

16-Wannabe-Spice Girls

Once, cut up said, ironically, that this was the song of 'The domino squad' however, heavy took it very seriously.

17-Barbie Girl-Aqua

Grupal song? group song! It’s so catchy that sometimes even Kenobi catches himself signing the ‘Come on Barbie let’s go party’ line, and even if he think no one has seen it, Cody always reply’s with the little ‘Ah ah ah yeah’

18-Dancing Queen-From ‘Mamma Mia!’ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack- Merly Streep

Please don't notice how obsessed I am with Ahsoka and her wholesome relationship with the 501st clones, Rex always sings this song to Ahsoka, along with the rest of the clones as a magnificent choir.

19-Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)-Backstreets Boys

Fives has a bit of an obsession with the Backstreet Boys, but Echo won't let him die alone, so he always sings the little 'Yeah's’ in the song so Fives won’t feel so alone.

20-Mambo No.5 (A Little Bit of..)-Lou Bega

‘A little bit of Appo in my life, a little bit of Jesse by my side, a little bit of Rex is all I need, a little bit of Kix is what I see, a little bit of hardcase in the sun, a little bit of Echo all night long, a little bit of Fives here I am, a little bit of you makes me your man’ And after coming out with that line at 3 am in the morning, Anakin knew it could’t get any better, once Kenobi heard it, he knew it couldn’t get any worst.

THANKS FOR READING!

If someone is interested on the playlist, here it is!

20 songs, 1 hour and 13 minutes long, best listened in shuffle

[angelguk]

omg so i sent in an ask re angst jock jk n oc ! but then i also realized its highly possible these 2 break up at one point while in uni mostly bc of the "are we dating bc its convenient" kinda dilemma and then it just pushes them apart bc they think theyre losing theirselves while being in such a close relationship,,,cue save ur tears by theweeknd BUT i just know when they grow up a lil bit more, theyll end up together <3

here we go! (the beginning of the end....may be...)

didn’t include save your tears as the soundtrack but may haps for the follow-up :3

pairing: jock!jk and oc

warnings: angst, yes the break-up scene, jaykay being an ass (a very huge one motivated by his own insecurities and selfishness – translation: he’d rather break her heart and carry that weight than be the heartbroken one), chayoung is no longer Seed of Doubt but something else (still up for debate but she’s fairly nice here), not edited but hey atp that’s part of my branding (also i would like everyone to consider that oc is not the greatest gf ever like guys don’t hate jk alone!!)

soundtrack: bags, clairo + stay, gracie abrams + say you know, alina baraz

(titled — honeymoon fades)

Jeongguk’s contact name hasn’t lit up the screen of your phone for six days now and you haven’t seen his face for just as long. It’s weird to go from constant incessant  communication to complete and utter radio silence. Not a single meme deposited in your Instagram inbox, no random notification from his Twitter. Just silence, quiet brewing silence. 

It breaks two days later when Chayoung finds you coddled under your duvet, mouth stuffed with the saccharine sweetness of mint chocolate. (Jeongguk kept a stash of it at your place but who was around to eat it anymore apart from you?). 

“And why do you look like you live in a dumpster?” She’d hummed, ripping open the curtains you’d involuntarily welded shut. 

“Because that’s how I feel inside,” you’d retorted, pushing aside your laptop. The screen is stuck with an image of an idiotic character named Nabi kissing the spawn of Satan. You hope for her sake it works out. Chayoung had huffed at your response, fondly whacking your head with a stray pillow. 

“Well get over that feeling cause we’re going out tonight.” A declaration, the fierceness in her feline eyes a warning that you’re not allowed to even think of saying no. That doesn’t mean you hadn’t tried – sorrowful eyes and pouted lips as you begged her to spare you. But Chayoung is a force of nature, one that could easily wreak havoc on your delicateness. And she does though, with a string of comments that propels you out of the miserable burrow you’d dug up. 

“You’re killing everyone, you know?” She’d supplied, yanking open your closet. “You’re sulking, Jeongguk is shutting down. He’s said like five words since this whole...thing...you have going on.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff at that, toying with the corner of the large grey shirt donned on your body. Jeongguk’s shirt. One of his favourites actually. You’d thought about stealing it after spying it on his obsessively neat laundry pile, but after seeing your wandering eyes he’d given it to you instead. 

“He always does that,” you’d said after Chayoung had whipped her head in your direction, curved eyebrows perplexed. “I mean, shut down. It’s his emotional response to things that bother him. Complete detachment so it hurts less.”

She had just stared at you, a long meaningful look at left your skin prickled. 

“Huh.”

“What do you mean ‘huh’?”

A measured step forward, her body weight sinking into the edge of your mattress a moment later. “I mean, you know him so well.”

“Of course I do he’s my best-friend,” you’d said, indignation coating your words

“No–No you're not getting me. You know him. You know he wouldn’t make the move to reconcile–”

“But he should!”

“You told him to go away! He’s trying to listen to you even though he’s hurting!”

And maybe that was it, that simple implication that you were causing him pain that had you pausing, reviewing the things you’d said to him – the things you’d felt. 

“But,” a timid rebuttal, “I just–I just need him to show me that he cares.”

“He does,” Chayoung had returned. “So much. And he misses you. He’s probably just afraid that you don’t feel the same.”

“But I do! He knows this.”

“Does he?” A question in her eyes, one that you’re afraid you know the honest answer to. 

You say things and never mean them, he had said, eyes hard.

That had hurt you but perhaps he was right, there are things you hadn’t told him, feelings you hadn’t truly expressed. And Jeongguk had always been good to you, so understanding and caring, trying to fill the places were you lacked. Wasn’t he the one who planned the majority of your dates? Remembered all the important milestones of your relationship while you contributed the bare minimum. You hadn’t even told Chayoung about the surprise he had planned for your one-year anniversary, the shame of your own choice hanging heavy over your head. 

So that’s why you’re here, staring at the back of his head forlornly as the music drifts around you, flashing florescent lights bathing him a hazy glory. He hasn’t seen you yet (something you’re thankful for because oddly enough you feel sick to your stomach). It feels like you’re skating on thin ice, waiting for the impending crack to sound through your heart, ice water swallowing you whole immediately. Chayoung is the one who pushes you forward, gingerly plucking the idle drink from your hand, Jimin aiding her efforts with a soft smile your way. 

It’s time for you to try the way Jeongguk has, put aside that bumbling ego that oversees your actions and adopt the humility he’s always granted you.

“Go,” she murmurs. “He misses you.”

And God you hope he does because you’ve missed him too. 

Except the moment his honey eyes land on you you know he hasn’t.

“Jeongguk,” you mumble. Yoonoh is frozen beside him, concerned gaze flicking between your faces. Your own eyes are stuck on him, the shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the subtle hint of the dimple in his cheeks. 

You’ve missed him, and it slips from your heart and brims in your eyes, vision blurry as your blink those stray tears back inside. 

“Hi,” you add, when his silence doesn’t break.

“I should probably go,” Yoonoh lets out, awkward words bumping into the wall of tension standing firm between you to. He settles a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, sending him a look that feels loaded. “See you guys later, right?”

You nod, finally noticing the lump clogging your throat. “Yeah, sure.” Jeongguk just hums, the edge of his cup caught between his lips. Yoonoh flees within seconds, leaving you to wade through this alone. 

“I–I know you’re not happy with me right now, but please, can we just talk?” He blinks at you, it feels like a premonition. “Please?”

“Okay.” The simple word fills you, like a hollow you weren’t aware of finally found the cure needed. 

“Okay,” a small smile on your lips. Jeongguk’s face is still unreadable. He guides you up and away from the deafening sound of the song bleeding from the speakers, into an empty room, the door closing behind him muting the music and giving way to the own pounding in your head. Nobody says anything for a second, both of you navigating this uncharted territory of animosity. Until Jeongguk sighs, melting into the bed at the centre of the room. You follow suit, allocating enough space between the two of you. You’ve ever had to do that before.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Jeongguk finally cuts through it, eyes unforgiving when he glances at you.

“I did! I do–Just Jeongguk,” you can’t help it drifting out. “I miss you.”

Nothing, not even a flicker in his eyes. He eyes shift to the floor instead. “Okay. I that what you wanted to say?”

“No–No not just that! I’ve missed you Jeongguk and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that i went off on you like that and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best towards you and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t care about you–or made you feel like the things I said or did had no meaning behind them. Because they do–they do because I love you. I love you so so much and I’m sorry if I made it seem like otherwise.” You automatically extend out for him, hoping to grasp on his thing floating to fast away from you. Jeongguk shifts and you hand tumbles down to the empty space between you instead, halted by his hesitance. 

His head drops into his palms a second later, a broken exhale leaving his lips. The motion cause the silver bracelet on his wrist to slip down the length of his arm. It jolts something in you. Jeongguk had given you a matching one but you’d ripped it off after the last argument and hadn’t considered putting it back on. But Jeongguk was still wearing his. 

“Do you really?”

“What?” He’s staring at you know, doe eyes cloudy.

“Do you really love me?” There, that stupid evil vile question that you thought you had the answer to but the words vanish in your head the longer he looks at you.

“I do–what? What are you implying? Of course, I do.”

“Of course, you do,” Jeongguk echoes. His eyes turn to the window located over his shoulder. You can see his head working through something, and you’re suddenly terrified fingertips itching to wander through his curls and coax those thoughts from his head. 

“Jeongguk? What the hell are you talking about? Talk to me, please.”

He sighs again, at it feels like your heart splinters. A sudden shake of his head and Jeongguk twists back to face you, a silent tear falling down his cheek.

“You don’t love me.”

“Wh–What are you talking about? I do! And how can you decide my feelings for me?”

“No. You don’t love me the way you think you do–the way you should.” It feels like he’s saying it to more than you, like he’s saying it to himself. “Maybe this the wrong choice to make. You know. Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.”

You shatter just like that, shards on the floor as you stare him, this person that you thought you knew. And maybe the feeling is mutual because Jeongguk is staring at you in a similar way, searching for the courage to say the words you know lie in his heart. Like a loaded cannon, waiting for the match to strike and leave you lying in pieces. 

“I think we should break–"

“No,” you cut him off with an adamance that you didn’t know existed until right then. “No, you’re not gonna say that and we are not doing this.”

His eyes narrow then, jaw set. “This is not about ‘us’, I’m doing what’s right for me.”

“How is that right? Huh, Jeongguk? Don’t you care about this? Don’t you care about me?”

He looks away then, ignoring your questions, his throat stuck. 

“Jeongguk...” You reach out again, and he allows it, shoulders sinking with the weight of your hand on them. “Don’t you care about me?”

Another heavy exhale, his eyes blinking hard. “I do. And that’s why this won’t work, not the way it should at least. I really think we should end this, or at least reconsider the reasons why we’re together. You say you love me–you say you always have but really–really think about it. About me and us and what we are. I’m sorry, I really am but I just can’t do this anymore.”

He rises then, your outstretched hand tumbling down to the empty space he’d left behind. You can’t move it, can’t breathe, your heart hurtling out of your chest and onto the ground where it lies, fragmented beyond repair and bleeding bare. You glance up through tears, watch him open his mouth and then it and look away. 

“Do you mean it?” You finally ask, and his eyes snap to you. He knows what you’re saying. There’s a pause that stretches out for eternity, coloured by the sound of the ringing in your head.

“Maybe.” It cuts right through you, lodging itself deep with intent. And then you just have to nod, swallow the scream clawing at your throat. He murmurs one more apology before his feet carry him away, and you watch, forlorn as you burn his frame into your memory, as your whole world walks out the door.

[starrrbitz-movedtonewblog]

Happy 7 years to Undertale!! ❤

Happy anniversary to the funny pixel game that made me autistic /hj

Not gonna lie everytime I think about this game i can't help but be an emotional little bitch. I was obsessed with this game then, previous years, and it's only gotten worse <3 How the fuck has it been 7 years though good god I'm getting old ahhaha

Okay okay in all seriousness, my little insane rambling is under the read more for those who are interested. Warning its very informal pff

Any of you who have at all been following this blog know I am very much still obsessed with this game, so I'll spare everyone the usual "this game inspired me and my art" stuff since you all know that nonsense haha.

I think the reason I'm still here talking about Undertale in 2022 is because, well this game... is now a big part of my childhood/teenhood. This is the game I sort of technically grew up on, and I found in a time of insane loneliness and a creative block. I was fucking 14 struggling through high school and little did I know rahg I would have to transfer to a new school, and that it would be very stressful. I also didn't know that this game was going to help me through it.

You know how a lot of people had Pokemon, or Mario, or Zelda or other games as their fixations or childhood. That's cool, and I always want to play those types of games, but the thing is I've always either missed out on or came extremely late into those franchises. I came to Mario very late, and I consider one my fave game franchises, but that whole ass franchise is older than me and there's still games from it i have yet to play. Still to this day, I haven't played a single Pokemon or Zelda game, as a kid I only knew Pokemon as an anime and Zelda was completely off my radar until a couple of years ago. I've always come late to or missed out on many games.

Undertale however, I and many others have sort of been here from the start with it. I've seen almost everything from the first happenings of the fandom (whether for better or worse... mostly worse pfppf), I've seen so many people play this game, I've studied and analysed and theorised over every little mystery I could find in it, and sometimes just thought a lot about being friends with the characters cause you know I'm normal. I've also gotten excited for new merch drops, even though I still haven't bought any for myself. I've been with friends and gone apeshit for new content like new characters, the smash reveal, and of course the alternate AU smorgasbord game of Undertale, Deltarune, another incredibly important game to me.

I'm still waiting for new chapters of Deltarune, still drawing art for both games, still enjoying everything about it. This. This silly little game inspired by Earthbound and made by a previous Homestuck writer, two franchises i know nothing about, this fucking game is my Mario. It's my Pokemon, or Zelda or Metroid or whatever other beloved franchise that has captivated people for years. Its the game I get teary eyed and warm thinking about, the game with a soundtrack that I can listen to ANY time as much as I want. Its the game I can get all the references to and get excited about when I notice them. Cheesy as fuck yeah I know

I know 7 years seems measly to the maybe 10, 15 and even 20 years people have had their fave games, but fucking hell i think it means SOMETHING when this silly little indie rpg with a fuckton of lore and mystery around it can have such an impact on someone like me. And who knows, I think in the future, maybe 5 years later?? I will be able to look back on Undertale and Deltarune alike, like others do with their fave games, and feel nostalgia, and a connection with the games. I'll revisit it, play it again, still be making fanart for it, and maybe introducing it as something beloved to me to someone I know, while they do the same with their fave games to me.

I dunno i feel just really emotional thinking about it, and yeah haha Undertale the game that makes everyone cry and feel things, GOOD. that's the plan!! And i don't plan on fucking stopping talking about and loving, and CRYING over this franchise. Despite everything my love and respect for this game has never waned, despite everything, I'm still here!! Despite everything, its still me.

So yeah I guess thanks Toby Fox for continuing to make your games and inspiring me and many others and for constantly killing us with your games, thanks to you I will never be the same again and I think I'm more than okay with that <3

Happy Anniversary to Undertale (and happy 1 year anniversary to Deltarune chapter 2, how the fuck has it been a year already it seems like only three months ago I was losing my shit shit one discord with my friends at the announcement-)

Okay bye lol

[daimonhalos]

Appreciation post for the eggpire and more during the red banquet cause I'm not seeing enough love for how well they organized and delivered and because I'm so proud of cc!Bad for how far the Bloodvines arc has gone ♥ (this stuff is from Bad's vod btw)

Also something to cheer people up a bit in case the lore got u hard like it got me cause I'm still not okay bestie <3

The starting soon screen being an animation (with glitches to show another frame!!) plus the jazzy electro-swing soundtrack underneath. Just such a good intro, I felt like I was actually in the waiting line for an event, just awesome.

Ponk. Just Ponk, dapper man, handsome Ponk just standing there. Gorgeous, thank you, standing ovation, I love him.

Just everything Bad and Ant did with the building of the room, the stairs!! The coat room!!! The statues right in front of the table, everything looked SO pretty.

ANT MY BELOVED LOOKING HANDSOME AS ALWAYS I just loved all their outfits. The banquet's skins just SLAPPED HARD.

The little moment where Bad changed view of his character and we could see him, Ant and Ponk cwc

Bad singing >>>>>>>>>>

Everyone getting lost despite the oak signs

THE ARC ABOVE THE DANCEFLOOR, WHAT THE HELL YOO

Bad complimenting everyone on their outfits and giving out some gapples here and there

Bad also always repeating the same catchphrases

Sam just drinking copiously and the dumpy situation

People actually dancing + HBomb being the dj

Puffy walking around Bad to see his outfit and complimenting him, just felt like their old friendship cwc

FOOLISH GAVE BAD A FLOWER <3

Bad scolding George for not wearing an outfit (Sam's "his name is Gogy and he is beautiful")

"It's almost time for the feast. It's gonna be delicious." the foreshadowing

Everyone dancing together cwc

"minecraft dancing is speed squats" eret ilu

Bad and Ant complimenting moment ♥

The eggpire all on the same side of the table. Them

Ponk's little "Hello!" after Bad said he made the soup, plus everyone going "good job!!" just twt

When Bad started asking if anyone wanted to give a toast, I realized eventually that this was more of a disguised "Want to say your last words before death?" and it now sounds s o freaking cool. ye s

P O N K 'S S P E E C H

"you look beautiful right now" sam i will cry

When in the middle of his speech, Bad turns to Ant who's already looking at him, nods, Ant nods back, and as Bad turns around again we can see Ant walking away from his seat. I am OBSESSED with this scene, like you already know something is about to go down and oh gosh it was delivered so good

THE LAVA COMING DOWN FROM THE CEILING AS BAD KEPT TALKING, NONE NOTICING, HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW THE BANQUET WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE. SO HOT

"And yeah! Thank you for coming everybody" the little mischievous giggles right after "And prepare uh ... yep. Prepare to die." AND THEN HE FUCKIGN DRINKS FROM HIS GLASS LIKE COME ON YOU CANT BE ANY COOLER THAN THAT YOOO

"The leaf is staying the way it is" you can hear the laughter in his voice like HAH GOTTEM that's so good

Bad still giving Hbomb gapples cwc

"Where you looking for this perchance?" AND THEN EQUIPS THE ENTIRE ARMOR AND WEAPONS E Y E when the twists started dude. this si where the twists started and never ended

HANNAH CROSSING SIDES AND SIDING WITH THE EGGPIRE. QUEEN SHIT that was such a cool moment for her i'm so glad she's getting her moment

The eggpire laughing, just pure villainy, love them

"Time to get on the main event" the nonchalance. The way they equipped the crossbows and readied the arrows at the same time. B r u h fucking awesome they are

The eggpire faking being afraid when Sam was talking about blowing the egg up. Sad that we already knew about the obsidian thing, but still made it a very cool scene. Especially right after when they started laughing at them again. I don't know what it is about it but I love them being so sassy.

FREAKING EXECUTIONS THEY WORKED FOR MASS EXECUTIONS they were able to trap all those freaking people!! And trick them and counter attack all the time! what the fuck, I'm so impressed

Thank you Fundy for sounding super terrified /gen ♥

Wait ahah they really said EGGSECUTION-

THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES im not saying IT but im saing Velvet

"Follow me! Follow me!" HANNAH SOUNDED SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love

"We trusted you!" "Well, that was your first mistake-" THE WAY BAD WAS ABOUT TO LAUGH. DUDE they definitely had so much fucking fun making this

sassyboyhalo

Foolish acting thank u ily. Also the thunder not working what the heck i wanna know what was going on inside his mind right then he sounded so lost. THE ACTING

"Sacrifice!" Hannah idk how to say this but I love you

ANT MOMENTTTT

When puffy called them selfish i was expecting bad to just do a huge double take. I wanted him to snap immediately PLEASE SNAP-

BAD DELIVERING AGAIN WITH THE AMAZING ACTING

"Not just for the egg but for what the egg is going to give us" he's so desperately trying to make them udnerstand it promised him his friend back he literally mentions it every single time but everyone calls him selfish because they think he wants power when he just wants skeppy's friendship back in this essay I will- Anyway yes I love that he never explicitly says it because it kills us viewers with pain cause we KNOW and then the reveal will be 100 times more powerful. This is so awesome

"I can't stop Quackity and you know why I can't stop. If I stop I can't get what I need." his voice grew so much lower like he's just holding back MAN I HH IT WAS SO GOOD

SECRET RETREAT ROOM YOOO

Ponk giving Bad some food and telling him to stay safe, Bad telling both Hannah and Ponk to stay safe too. My tears

And now the solo Bad lore part, where we actually see the true part of him that's absolutely devastated and makes me cry, the way he acted all confident and then saw everything crumble in a few seconds and now he's destroyed again because what if they find a way to destroy the egg what then? what if he never gets skeppy back? dude, you can just read his emotions it's so sad and i love how it was portrayed

"I know where I can go. I know who I can see!" BDI REF BDI REF FOR SURE I have a feeling that's going to be explained in the next lore stream with Skeppy and I'm so hype. I love the little crumbs of references here and there.

"But now they have it.." he sounded so broken??? bad your acting please ill cry

"I didn't really want to hurt anybody" his true self trying to get back cwc especially because he's farther away from the egg. I just love the transition between the guy Bad portrays who's so sure about the egg when it's in front of others and the doubts and anxiety he actually has when he's alone. Just so cool

"Did I screw up?" im just pointing out everything that moves me emotionally cause these people's acting is so cool

Ending the stream with simple black background my beloved

Okay but really I'm so so so proud of the ccs for making this happen and it's only going upwards, I'm literally so in awe, they really said go big or go home

Free space for Ant's villain speech I wasn't able to hear yet, but they said it was v cool, so I'm trusting people on this

Thank you for listening, stan Bloodvines arc /hj

If I made typos no I didn't

[avashades-purpleorange]

Ranking the 14 musicals I've seen/listened to

14: Dear Evan Hansen. I don't truly understand the plot besides a mentally unstable kid's friend commits suicide. The only reason I like this musical is Waving Through A Window.

13: Frozen Broadway Musical. Much better than the movie and that fucked up sequel. I love the added songs (What Do You Know About Love?; Monster; Dangerous to Dream; Hans of the Southern Isles (Reprise); etc.). There are still musicals I really like more than this, though. Also, I get flashbacks to when I was in drama club in fifth grade and I was stage crew. Fave song? What Do You Know About Love?

12: Lion King Broadway Musical. I saw this on the US tour last year with my family, so I enjoyed it. Not the best, though. Like with Frozen, I love the added songs. Fave song? He Lives In You.

11: Beauty and the Beast Broadway musical. I always get flashbacks to 7th grade when I did BATB JR. I was part of the ensemble and understudy for Cogsworth. Like the last two: I love the added songs, especially Human Again; Me; and Home. Fave song? Human Again.

10: Greatest Showman. It's a musical everyone's obsessed with that I accidentally discovered. Nuf said. Fave song? The Other Side.

9: West Side Story. Would be up higher if it weren't for that ENDING. Like, bro, YOU CAN'T LET TRUE LOVE NOT HAPPEN LIKE THAT! Also, my real name is Maria, so I obviously love the song Maria (it's my fave). My mom also has been a fan of it since she was young, but I wasn't named after the character or song. I was named after my Great-Grandmother who died when my grandpa was 13 from cancer. BACK TO THIS POST TOPIC-

8: Hunchback of Notre Dame. I fucking love the entire movie soundtrack. It's my favorite animated Disney musical. Love the historical crap because I'm a nut for history. But I like other musicals better. Fave song? Hellfire.

7: Hairspray. Love the soundtrack. Love the history. Not sure who is more evil: Miss Baltimore Crabs (it's one am I don't remember her name. is it Von Tussel?) or Penny's mom. Fave song? Miss Baltimore Crabs.

6: Into the Woods. GLORIOUS. One of the only musicals I can watch with my school friends together. My sister loves it and she has high musical standards. Fave song? AGONYYYYYYY

5: Love Never Dies. Don't fucking attack me. I like it a lot. Would be higher if it weren't for the ending. Same sister that has high musical standards claims that this is her favorite musical. Idek with her. Fave song? Beneath a Moonless Sky.

4: Hamilton. This was the first Broadway soundtrack I listened to (yeah I started the Broadway thingy late). Like I said, I love history, especially in colonial times, so I love this musical. Fave song? Burn

3: Wicked. I no longer hear Idina Menzel as Elsa, I hear her as Elphaba. Fiyero x Elphaba forever. Glinda is an asshole who can kiss my ass. Fave song? As Long As You're Mine.

2: Jesus Christ Superstar. ALW YOU FUCKING GENIUS! YOU COMBINED MY RELIGION WITH EMOTION AND BROADWAY AT THE AGE OF TWENTY FUCKING TWO! Gethsemane forever. Original cast forever.

*drumroll*

1: PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! I HAVE AN ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG (@meet-me-at-box5) DEDICATED TO THIS FUCKING MASTERPIECE... and LND. I LOVE THE GASTON LEROUX NOVEL SO MUCH THAT IT'S BECOME MY FAVORITE CLASSIC AND HORROR-THEMED NOVEL AND SEMI-ACCURATE NOVEL! Weird story time: my dad once listened to Canadian cast of POTO Masquerade to calm himself down when I couldn't calm down and it calmed me down as well. Everytime I cried and wouldn't calm down as a baby, he would play Canadian Masquerade. He also claims that the vacuum calmed me down? Weird. But I am the eldest child of my family... so my parents didn't really know how to take care of a baby... SO technically, I've been a Phan since I was a baby even though I never watched it until I was 11. One year after I discovered it, I had watched POTO 2004 over a hundred times, probably. Fave song? THE POINT OF NO RETURN! Team? ERIKKKKKKKKKKK!

[gayshipsandanxiety]

For the ask game: music recs?? Please??? I've listened to the front bottoms' whole discography like 5 times now i have nothing to listen to

your music taste is already iconic but here ya go <3

the psychedelic furs: i started listening to them because they're my dad's favorite band and GOD there is some gay stuff there. they do mostly synthpop (i think??? i'm bad at recognizing music genres). a lot of their stuff can be interpreted as a disdain for typical hetero white picket fence families/relationships. you absolutely HAVE to listen to love my way that song slaps so hard and some of my other favorites by them shock and soap commercial.

echo & the bunnymen: i found this band from this video (https://youtu.be/ek52acrA1lw) and lost my fucking mind. i have no idea what genre they are but they're and 80s british band and no 80s british band has ever done me wrong. some of my favorites by them are villiers terrace, it's alright (bestie you're gonna start crying when you hear it), clay, ripeness, and never stop (discotheque). the entire porcupine album slaps so fuckin hard.

tears for fears: this band has So Much Gender and they're one of the few 80s bands that i like their 21st century stuff. bestie the instruments!!! so many instruments!! pale shelter and memories fade are both mike wheeler anthems and they are very close to my heart. raoul and the kings of spain is a great album, head over heels is fantastic, and shout makes me astral project.

bronski beat: fuckin bronski beat!!! they're another synthpop band and jimmy somerville's vocal range is just *chef's kiss*. their songs are gay as fuck and their music is just so. music. i'm gonna be honest their songs kinda played a part in me realizing i was mlm. some of my favorites are why?, junk, need a man blues, punishment for love, and ofc smalltown boy.

arctic monkeys: yeah so you might not have heard of them because they're suuuper underground and indie /s. i'm pretty sure typing that sentence made me grow a beanie directly out of my skull lmao. anyway i really like vibe of their music and they go surprisingly hard. the am album is a banger, 505 is of course a classic, and the favorite worst nightmare and whatever people say i am, i'm not albums are also pretty good.

the smiths: either everyone in this band is gay or britain was just like that in the 80s idk. they have a lot of angsty gaycoded songs so ofc i'm obsessed with them. how soon is now?, back to the old house, sweet and tender hooligan, there is a light that never goes out, this charming man, and i started something i couldn't finish all gave me psychic damage but i reccomend you listen to all their songs because literally everything they make is a banger.

taylor swift: you're already gay and a byler stan so you're halfway to becoming a swiftie /hj. i can't put into words what her music does for me i'm just so in love with her songwriting. some of my faves by her are you are in love, new romantics, gold rush, exile, cardigan, cruel summer, paper rings, it's nice to have a friend, all too well, don't blame me, delicate, look what you made me do, dress, i did something bad, and wildest dreams. the midnights album comes out on the 21st!!!!

violent femmes: if you like the front bottoms you'll LOVE the violent femmes they have a lot of folk punkish queercoded songs. just like my father and mother of a girl will turn you into an angsty bisexual male character, no killing is a religious experience, love love love love love is the queer agenda, their violent femmes album i literally cannot listen to without headbanging, and their why do birds sing album could be the soundtrack to literally any steddie fanfic.

gin wigmore: i'm gonna be honest i need to listen to more of her stuff but i was soooo obsessed with her back in my mcu era. i loooove her voice it's so raspy and cool. she does country??? but Woman Country that's actually really good and about heartbreak and becoming stronger. her songs make me feel like the main character of a western. written in the water, black sheep, happy ever after, hbic, and hallow fate slay so hard.

black pistol fire: ahhhh i love them omg. they're grunge rock i think? biggg boot stomping energy. black halo, fever breaks, hope in hell, level, look alive, and well wasted are all blorbo anthems.

des rocs: ehehe i'm so obsessed with this weird little rat man (affectionate). his music is just so !!!!!!! idk how he doesn't have a million listeners already. he's a rocker and sings a lot about mental illness and toxic relationships. let the vultures in is a fantastic ep although huge tw for mental illness, mmc is great, suicide romantics absoultley Destroyed me, wayne is a Song, and his album a real good person in a real bad place is the best thing ever god i love his songs.

bishop briggs: another artist from my mcu era lol. literally every fandom has an edit to her song river but dark side, jekyll & hyde, and high water also slay. the emotion she puts into her songs is so <3333 and GOD her voice is amazing.

barns courtney: GENDER MAN GENDER MAN DOES WHATEVER A GENDER CAN <3 another rocker but he has some acoustic stuff too. his albums 404 and the attractions of youth are just incredible and sinners is also fantastic.

sleepover asks <3

[marindram]

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

Friends (0)

June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)