#like youve gotta be fucking kidding me who gives a shit

[darksouls2yuri]

okay im gonna be upset if my work for this week doesnt open up today because of fucking. memorial day

[tigerdrop]

Got any fun thoughts to share about Ford and Bill?

they drive me crazy dude. i have a lot to say about them so im putting it under a readmore

ive been billpilled for 1 million years dog. hes like the Blueprint. bills the perfect entity to me: terrifying shapeshifting demon who can slip into every corner of your mind and read all your thoughts and memories. and also hes a cartoon character with noodle arms and a cute shape. and hes a pathetic worm whos hung up on his human ex. and hes a funny little guy whos playful and mean and delights in tormenting you but juuuust enough so that he doesnt break you. Hes so awesome

like. listen. this isnt going to be a surprise if youve read literally anything ive ever written. but if bill possessed ford and slammed his hand in a car door and got a kick out of it and put him in a funny little outfit id be fine about it. ford was literally in a 24/7 freeuse lifestyle with him so why WOULDNT he

yeah im kind of a masochist. Why do u ask

put his ass in a horny neurotic guys body and see what happens. hit his dick with a cartoon mallet for fun. slap him around a little. feels cool and neat! like "human bodies are so responsive, huh" said while blanfords about to jam a fork into an outlet (thats my name for it btw. Im not looking it up)

what if i hurt you?? what if i dropped you??? Just kidding :-)

i dont know how much genuine sexual pleasure bill would get out of it so much as the thrill and novelty of a new human sensation but i think that could be fun in and of itself. jacking off with another guys body in a weirdly distant way like Haha Wow. Im getting kind of flustered here! (actively jamming a coke bottle into his pussy)

and the thing that really drives me crazy about ford is how much fetish shit he thinks about/makes inventions for/has inflicted upon him. i think in the series finale hes tied up like 3 fucking times. its insane. he wants to give up control of his body so fucking bad dude!!!!! (exhibit A: ford going limp like a kitten whenever hes picked up. it happens more than once.)

and theres even more contrived bondage bits in the deleted scenes! its maddening. hes an insane obsessive bdsm-lifestyling pervert and hes likethe ideal guy to match bills freak

hes soooo fucking easy. its so much fun to me. theres something really erotic about the way bill makes him feel special about his hands......like.......its naked flattery but its also kinda true. its weird. he likes weird shit. and ford falls for it soooo easy. drives me nuts

now walk with me. think about how easy that same interaction would transfer to ford being transgender. and your not allowed to get mad at me bc this is just my thing now

its so strange! kind of captivating. bills been around the block but the western conception of transmasculinity is so recent that for him it might as well be a blink of the eye. so i think it would be new to him. especially given when he actually makes a deal with ford. just another special thing about his special little guy. he *knew* there was something about ford

and to be frank i think that if you were a transmasc pervert in the 70s and a dream demon came along that understood you inside and out and can make all of your bizarre fantasies come true. well. you would have been fucking stupid not to fuck him

i need to read the book of bill so fucking bad bc the extra context of bill being super hung up on ford drives me CRAZY!!!! i love bitter lovestruck jerks. i love divorce. and i think they could and should hook up again. bad guys that are reluctantly forced to stop being so bad are so much fun and fords huge fucking ego didnt go anywhere. i think bill could convince ford to give him a second chance. at least just to hook up for old times sake

anyway. im making a bill itabag. Gotta go

[geee-three]

uuuuh my tablet is basically overheating bc ive been drawing so hard for the call boy fan mv (WHICH I CANT WORK ON UNTIL NEXT WEEKEND FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE) so. throws some incomprehesible sekai oc scribbles at you plus elboration

a little explaination of how the gacha system ive made up works. so bc i have 3 people in one unit (sunken starlight) plus 6 people in another (unnamed orchestra) (yes thats their unit name theres a reason okay) and 3 in the third unit (whihc i havent created yet but its gonna be a nightcord-esque thing) heres how the systems gonna work

4*, 4*, 3*, 2*. the orchestra guys will have 3 ocs at a time plus a vs. all cards are hakolims and mixed events can have any previous mixed card OR initial card (every character will have an initial 4*, which doesnt give you an outfit or hairstyle bc its their regular unit one).

also it'll go sunken starlight, unnamed orchestra, mix, [yet to exist], unnamed orchestra, mix

this is not a real game thats being made i am not that good at coding nor do i have that much dedication

okay so this one is for dami1. rockstar set i think. idk if you can see all that well but in the corner its called 2 to overcome our past resentment. basic summary:

erynn is pissed that damien and siobahnn keep "teaming up against her" when in reality her ideas are just shit

damien overreacts. bc its damien and his ego is fragile. so stops talking to erynn altogether.

so now erynn is sad and siobahnn is going to get to the bottom of this no matter what but damien doesn tknow that

damiens mother (who. has a l2d!!! yay for npcs) is like "kid you are acting weird and lonely again dont tell me your new friends dumped you" and ehs like. nooo.... i maybe dumped them.... and shes like talk to them goddamit. but he doesnt want to

he remembers he has a secret pocket dimension he can go to and goes there. but siobahnn is already there (TOTALLY NOT running those lyrics for the untitled track past len). she talks to damien in the sekai and explains how erynn is a little bit depressed bc she really wanted to make amends!! adn sehs really scared she came across accusatorially

damien tells her not to speak for erynn and she can find him herself. and siobahnn, poor social anixiety ridden girl she is, summons all the courage she has to tell him "WELL IM YOUR FRIEND TOO AND YOU GOTTA COME BACK BC WE MISS YOU >:(" except she whispers it rlly fast bc shes so scared of him still

and damiens like. oh. okay. i will. and yay forever!!

next day. siobahnn summons all the courage she has. and gives the lyrics to damien when he comes back like "REALLY SORRY I LIKED THE SONG THAT TAKES US TO A POCKET DIMENSION WITH MEIKO AND LEN IN IT I MADE US LYRICS FOR IT ITS OKAY IF YOU HATE THEM AND ALSO ME" then hides behind erynn despite being a full five inches taller than her.

and damien loves them and untitled track has lyrics :D and that is the commision song for the event

but yeah the cards themselves. damien has the. emo red spikey guitar like any proper secret nerd who thinks in python with emotional attatchment and anger issues. also he dyed just the roots of his hair black (LIKE ERYNN AND ATTICUS) and cut it short. and he has a red leather jacket and black ripped jeans and spikey earrings because hes EMO and its NOT A PhASE (the event disappears in a week sorry bestie) (this isnt. intended to poke fun at actual emo people but hes very much pop culture emo not actual subculture emo. he will be proper emo by the time im done w him though.) and siobahnn.. oh siobahnn... most egirl outfit youve ever seen. implied that damien picked it out for her.her hairs pretty much the same style as normal but in braids and shorter... i promise i;ll get more creative with the other ones but i dont want to randomly change her hair texture in between events and its not 4c or anything. the braids are more frayed on the right side and shorter too going to her ears rather than her shoulders on the other side.shes singing on stage in the trained btw. bc. her whole thing is that she WANT to be famous but shes not sure she can mentally deal w it ect vs damiens im not sure i have the talent to get there vs erynns can you two PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER PLEASE (im going to have a luft-core event at some point where her shit gets rocked. watch out.) yay and the erynn 3* is her talking to siobahnn about damien and her trained isher on keytar for reasons (she learnt piano alongside atticus learning violin but refuses to do so bc its boring unless a keytar bc thats Fun and Cool) and the len 2* is him holding. a basse guitar. in a shirt with a bass fish on it. yeah. soryr.

AIGHT and here's atticus mixed 1. 4* atticus 4* siobahnn 3* erynn 2* ivy. ik yall dont know who atticus and ivy actually are but theyre besties atticus is erynns twin brother theyre both in the unnamed orchestra. okie dokie lessgo. the plot of the event is very simple:

atticus is a Funny Guy who tells Jokes and Silly Stories including one about erynn falling off the roof

this intruges siobahnn who asks him to elaborate. he gets this paniced look in his eyes and runs away

siobahnn now tracks down anyone who might knwo. first she goes to ivy whos like what the freak i dunno??? =so she goes to erynn which would be the easiest solution in the first place.

erynn says its all atticus's fault and to ask him to admit what he did

siobahnn is IN DEEP now and needs to know

basically long story short atticus locked erynn on the roof and she jumped off to get down (she was fine and thought it was funny but teases him about it to this day)

but i made it an assasin set for no reason. yes i gave atticus a side part. deal with it.theres like a big ass bloddstain on his back and more on his trousers bc its a formal fancy assasion set whereas siobahnn is having funsies stabbing people!! her hair is more. think frye onega grandfest

being dragged back to family matters so i cant elaborate further but yeag!!! THE LITTLE GUYS I LOVE EM... if it feels like siobahnn is my favourite youre wrong i just wanted to doodle her so you get events featuring her. shes also a master at pushing the plot forward but i ahve an event in mind where she breaks bc she cant keep being the only reasonable person and does something really impulsive (challenges the arata-esque guy to a duel) (she looses) (this becomes her crawl green iykwim)

@socks-wizard-money-gang <- if you wanted to read a bunch of bullshit

[wifipunx92]

CYBERPUNK: MADE IN NIGHT CITY #3

📷: @wifipunx92

Daggerz: "Nothin' says "stress free" like a getaway weekend in the desert with my desert chooms."

Johnny: A weekend away from the piss, shit and bloodstains of NC in exchange for dirt, smelly cheap hotels and fuckin' Raffins. Sounds like paradise to me.

*V glances over at Johnny giving him a somber expression as he softly chuckles under his breath. She shakes her head.

Daggerz: "Do you always gotta be a gonk and shit on my parade Silverhand? Y'know not all of us are miserable like you my kind sir. Maybe you should just oh i dont know, loosen up a bit and live a little?" She said sarcastically.

Johnny: "Maybe youre right. Maybe i should pull the 12 inch stick outta my ass and live a little. Who knows, maybe this little retreat is something I need. Doesnt mean imma stop bustin your chops the entire time Valerie."

*She let out a small laugh and shook her head

Daggerz: "Be happy i like you now silverhand. Took us a long time to get here but im glad we did. Used to fuckin' hate your guts when you were a voice in my brain, but youve grown on me rockstar and im glad to have you as a mentor. Taught me everything about what it means to be a Rockerboy and I appreciate you for that."

*Johnny looks over at V and gives her a smile Johnny: "Damn, gettin all choked up over here. you goin pussy on me V?🤣"

Daggerz: "Fuck you asshole!😂 I meant it though. Plus you saved my life and imma never forget that." Johnny: "And you somehow figured out how to get me a replica of my old shell and put my construct in it so we're even kid"

Daggerz: "Yeah well those doctors overseas seem to give more of a shit about human life than eds so in the end we found a solution and it worked. Now sit back and shut your trap! We'll be at the 'caldos camping grounds in a bit. Quicker we get there, the quicker me and Panam can get some alone time together."

*Silverhand shakes his head and rolls his eyes while letting out a small laugh.

Johnny: "Always had a way with the ladies V. Dunno how you do it."

Daggerz: "Well most would say its my Rockstar charm. Course i gained that from you. Im also not a dick to women." She says while giving him a stale look. He gives her a side eye and nods his head.

Johnny: "Touché my young acolyte, touché."

Daggerz: "Also, got a new song in the works. Lyrics are nova but i still need to figure out the melody. Thats where you come in."

*Silverhand crosses his arms and give V a little smirk, that arrogant bastard.

Johnny: "Well well, looks like my presence is needed here after all." He says sarcastically.

Daggerz: "Okay you arrogant shit i didnt ask for your lip you sassy bitch. But yes, i will need your help.

*Johnny pulls out his spliff and lights it up taking a long drag.

Johnny: "No worries choom. You already know I got your back.

Daggerz: "Course you do. Thats cause ya like me ya gonkbrain."

*He smiles as he passes her the spliff for a few puffs

Johnny: "Dont get too full of yourself kiddo. Doesnt look good in the long run."

*They both chuckled as they passed the spliff back and forth between them. This was gonna be a very productive weekend.

[hamable]

Thoughts while watching the new miraculous movie cuz I’m three minutes in and can already TELL I’m gonna be losing my mind:

Spoilers under cut obv

Daddy no :( you can’t take me to school tomorrow with fresh baked goods for my whole class :( that’s so embarrassing :( what would they THINK ?!?!

Marinette: I want a better life (beautiful, picturesque Paris, apartment above your parents bakery, heading to a fancy school) cause I’m so clumsy???

Me: GIRLY ILL SWAP WITH YOU???

God I saw stuff about the singing voice and it’s so tonally and stylistically different from Christina Vee’s VAing that I can’t take it seriously. The singer isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s so clearly a different person.

Aside from the im loving the animation so far. It’s so cool seeing these character I’ve known since like 2017 in a new, more polished style.

Goddamnit we’re still making popular girl no carbs jokes???

DAMN ALYA THATS COLD (oh sorry, do I need to take a number behind the line of friends coming to your rescue?) LIKE YOUVE HAD ONE LINE SO FAR.

Chloe going about this bully/rival thing reeaallll fruity

Emo Adrien just trying to listen to MCR and tune out the normies that just don’t get it 😡😭

NINO BEST BRO

EW WHAT HAIR IS THAT GABRIEL

Nooroo called them the ladybug and chat noir miraculouses, but shouldn’t it be the ladybug and black cat miraculous? I thought they chose their names for themselves, ladybug sticking with ladybug, chat noir coming up with his own?

TIKKI IS SO CUTE OMG

This chat noir so silly and goofy

NOT CARELESS WHISPER ARE YOU KIDDING ME. YALL COULDA DONE A BEAUTIFUL ORCHESTRAL SWELL AND YOU PICK C A R E L E S S W H I S P E R?!?!?!?!

Btw why did Marinette prove her worth while adrien was just like. Doing hw. It’s easy to prove you can use the ladybug for good. Show me why he was chosen to use destruction for good. That’d be so interesting.

PUSS IN BOOTS

Plagg take an antacid plz

SHE THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW

Pop off hawk moth villain song honestly, best one so far

OK HAWKMOTH SING

Nino Dr. Love omg my favorite guy

Golden rule: always stay cool… (voice immediately shoots up an octave when Alya speaks to him)

That’s NOT HOW ROLLERCOASTERS WORK

That’s gotta be at least a few casualties

ASHDJFJF Catches Chloe from a deadly fall only to redirect and chuck her HARDER into a dumpster

Chloe you gotta stop giving off repressed fruity vibes

This movie has not established enough of a connection between marinette and adrien to justify ladybug rejecting chat noir (on the basis of loving someone else, I mean, not that she can’t reject him at all)

Plagg? Not the time.

WTF HAPPENED TO YOU GABRIEL?!?! DID YOU GO ON A BENDER?!?!

The movie has not established enough, if any, disconnect between adrien and gabriel. I love seeing adrien stand up for himself, but it feels kinda weird

LMAO HES LIKE BOUNCING IN PLACE WITH ANGER DONT MAKE ME LAUGH

Adrien with headphones is so fucking funny to me. Head down shoulders hunched, listen to welcome to Nightvale cause no one else gets it

Chloe. Every. God. Every word out of your mouth is so fruity. “There is someone else. And she’s right in front of you.” Someone else for who, Chloe?? For marinette?? I better you’re hoping she thinks you mean u and her huh?

Crush likes someone else. Life not worthy living. Dreams not worth pursuing.

All these songs run together. Except hawkmoths. His kicked ass.

Jesus Christ it’s Armageddon

STOP WITH THE FUCKING CARELESS WHISPER

HAS HE BEEN LISTENING TO CARELESS WHISPER THE WHOLE TIME?!?! THIS FUCKING LOSER OH MY GOD

Ladybug out here in YOUR FATHERS APOCALYPSE and you’re MOPING IN YOUR FANCY HOUSE

It’s the end of the world are you really gonna be salty rn?!?!

Ew why it’s the cataclysm like. An oil slick?!

Oh shit he dead

Oh he super dead

From the top of the Eiffel Tower? Into water?? You’re dead.

WHERE IS THE LAVA COMING FROM?!

SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE THE FORCE HAWKMOTH?!

Damn show hawkmoth could never.

Jesus fucking razor winged butterflies

Movie says fuck sentimonster adrien here’s Emilie pregnant

Anyways uh you killed and displaced likely hundreds of citizens so get ready for a lifetime in prison, hawky

OH I FORGOT ABOUT MIRACULOUS LADYBUG LMAO WERE GOOD ACTUALLY

Ok you placed the rubble back together but a bunch of people are still probably dead right

Ya Chloe make a quick exit bc of that gay crisis you’re having. Next year? Back to bullying. What was this year Chloe? Hm?

Overall: cool animation and effects, nostalgic for early lady noir dynamic, writer brain is itching for what could’ve been, but otherwise it is what it is, prob won’t watch it again.

EDIT: SHE DISNT DO MIRACULOUS LADYBUG UNTIL THE END RIGHT???? LIKE AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF HEROING??? SO ALL THE SHIT AT THE FAIR. JUST HAPPENED. YOU CANT TELL ME THERE ARENT LIKE. DEAD BODIES. I DONT THINK SHE KNEW SHE COULD FIX IT RIGHT??? PEOPLE DIED. YOU DESTROYED A CHUNK OF A CITY GABRIEL.

[marisoft-paint-adventures]

Pgs. 271 - 308

There are some dark forces you just don't want to mess around with. You understand this better than most.

I think it’s kinda funny how people will be all over the meta parts of Homestuck but act like it didn’t start until like halfway through the comic when you have the Exiles who literally make use of the medium of the comic’s command system in-universe.

I gotta bring up this GameFAQ section, I haven’t been talking about it much because it’s mostly just Rose in her prosey words describing what’s been going on, but here we have uh

a choice of words???

Removing the lid signals the moment your life becomes a great whirling batshit pandemonium, somewhat resembling the chaos of an especially ethnic wedding. Somewhere, a soused uncle deliberately shatters china on the floor. Muddy livestock is decorated, and then lost track of. The question "Who's mule is this?" at times can be heard over the din. This is now your reality.

I just... what???? huh???? excuse me????? Rose???? Hussie???? what did you mean by this???? what the fuck are you talking about??? bro????

things are looking FUCKED.

Homestuck except John’s sprite is the side-side-side-villain of the entire story.

Homestuck except John’s sprite is a racist.

also what is he doing.

EB: no, i have to go! bye! TG: wait wait TG: armageddon's gettin waged on us TG: but im-a gettin armed and dangerous TG: sending men in space for savin us TG: see which playa's more couragerous TG: ben or bruce? dudes reach a truce TG: put their blowchutes to use and up-suck it TG: afflecks saclifice, i mean -crifice, would have to sufflice. aw fluck it TG: bro be a stained-glass saint, up on a cross gettin hella christ-plagiarous TG: bruce's like offa that cruciflix, nuff a this fuckin savior-fuss TG: restrained his ass per mclane-redux while buscemi remained derangerous TG: when a plan gone astray pays off a wasted craterous TG: ash tray caterin to layers of matt maconnaheys vague remainder-dust TG: wait TG: uh TG: macconahey wasnt even in any of those meteor movies was he TG: ill have to make a rap about TG: i dont know TG: morgan freeman or something TG: being the president TG: itll be called TG: "obama made it so that no one gives a shit about black presidents in movies anymore" TG: see youve got to fill me in on whats going on TG: so i have something to rap about besides all your dumbshit movies

I very much like the visual of Dave being completely alone without anyone to talk to and simply resorting to making up a shitty rap called "obama made it so that no one gives a shit about black presidents in movies anymore" which is such a CinemaSins-style film critic thing to say might I add.

I have to give partial credit to Homestuck for the inevitable modern day memeification of Barack Obama, it was ahead of its time.

SHOCK.

look at John smile as he talks to Jade, how adorable.

and then Dave is still fucking going.

TG: when the film crew zooms where the presidents at TG: im like if that dudes black ill eat my hat TG: turns out he is, so we're all "damn, director's got gumption" TG: like we'll all flip our shit he aint shining shoes or somethin TG: its called freemancipation. if its not pres-election its god-ascension TG: in bruce almighty. whoops, different bruce from the one i just mentioned EB: aaaaaarrrgh! TG: cant explain to me why this aint condescension to think ill shit a brick TG: not even he can convey the intention with his quickspun wit TG: rather defray all this tension, sit on his lap while he whittles a splint TG: and some guy eyes what he does and patronizes: i guess negrocity's the mother of invention

There are some dark forces you just don't want to mess around with. You understand this better than most.

haha yeah Rose imagine falling into the dark arts, ha.

her ass is READING‼

I’m a big fan of the fake Lovecraft lore going on here.

god these intro pages for the kids are so cool.

but this one is not the coolest, there is a cooler one.

and then we continue onward and OH MY GOD IS THAT DAAAVE STRIIIDERRRR FROM HOOOMMEESTUUUUUCK?????

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

I do I do! Oh my God I love “British football” so much, I’m using that from now on. I play soccer, but we call it football here! I’m a goalkeep, which is shocking because I’m so short lol. And, I mean, not to brag but I think I’m pretty good for someone my height 😌

Yeah, it was so stupid. Not that I’ve learned my lesson because I’m most definitely going to keep climbing like a little squirrel hunting for acorns, but I’ll just be a liiiiiitle more careful. Ooh, yeah, you definitely gotta be more careful when living alone. Hopefully you’ve been safe and alright til now.

Omg thank you! You’ve reminded me that I need to finish the new Rick and Morty season. I’ve only watched the first two episodes hehe. I haven’t heard of most of these, but I’ll definitely give em a try! Agh, I’ve been meaning to watch Bojack Horseman since the third season came out. Is it really as good as people say it is? Like, is it worth watching all six seasons?

Aw, Grim! That’s so cute! You must have such a wonderful and creative imagination. Wow. I feel you with the nail polish 100%, I love bright and fun colours, all the glitters and metallics, like… If it’s shiny or bright, it is going on my nails.

I’m so happy you had a good time with your friends and that you wrote two chapters!! I cant wait to read it!!

:0 what a plot twist Grim!! I didn’t expect being asked a question in return aaah! I have to think about that… Oh, jeez okay, I had this dream back in high school, but I still remember it so clearly haha. In grade 12 we had this huge project we needed to do for our music final, and I was putting in so many hours towards it that I dreamt about it! I dreamt that all of Guns and Roses and Queen (don’t ask, long story) came to record vocals and guitar for my project and they kept getting it wrong so the girl who was working on the project with me kicked them out and I was like “omg you can’t just do that that’s queen and gnr omg…” lol. So I went and apologised to them and we had tea together. It still haunts me HAHAHA

And now time for your questions! *rubbing hands together evily* Which season is your favourite? Do you have a specific scent you love? Vinyls or CDs? What was your least favourite subject in school and why? 🎤

MIC ANOOOOOONNNNN wazzzaaapppp. GLAD to talk to you!!

yeah you just keep on climbing. youve gotta keep going no matter what. just keep being yourself and active and the best goalkeep your team has ever experienced.

lmfaoooo yes nothings changed. i still daydream just as much as i used to as a kid and its wonderful. i wouldnt wanna be any other way. so glad we share the love for glitter nail polish!!! im actually about to paint them right now. im thinking this iridescent kinda translucent blues gonna look sexy

i haven't watched the new season of Rick And Morty either cause then it'll be finished and im fr a fiend. im in love with Rick its disgusting really. classic daddy issues.

anywayssss about Bojack, honestly its very much worth it, in my humble opinion, but the third and fourth season are kind of the seasons you have to get through to get to the flipside of the show, which starts to get REAL as fuck during seasons five and six. then when its done youre just kinda sitting there like damn...........

GNR AND QUEEN are literally two of my favourite bands of all time. i mean, i have A LOT of favourite bands but i had a severe fixation on GNR in highschool to the point where like i know the band member's grandmothers names and shit. i asked this question because its a question i like to ask people to break the ice in conversations. i was also curious about yours!! EVERYONE has a dream that they remember, for some reason, one that just stuck. and its always from early childhood too.

ok questions time......heeeehehohhoooohhooo.......my favourite season is spring. it used to be autumn but the last two autumns ive been sort of too stressed about the pending doom of winter and halloween has kind of sucked too (even if halloween is every day of the year for me) so i have officially decided that spring is my favourite season. its fall but flipped. love the wetness and the flowers blooming. the smells. the anticipation for the summer. the way the ice melts. its sensual.

a scent i love GOD. my favourite scent of all time is clean laundry. if i go to hug you and you smell like fabric softener i will be so bricked up itll be awkward for the both of us. i sometime seek it out in those cotton scented candles and shit. although i love it so much, i never seem to smell it on myself, even if i rub bounce sheets on my fuckin sweaters. guess its kind of like when you go to someones house. you smell their smell but then you come home and you cant smell your smell.

i have a special place in my heart for CDs cause i grew up with those but i have a lot of vinyls and no CDs cause storing CDs is more annoying than storing vinyls to me...... i know its weird cause vinyls are bigger but the texture of them is better.

aaaanddd my least favourite subject in school was math. no surprises there. not even cause i was bad at it, i was pretty good, when i wanted to be. but i went to an arts school so the teachers in math were always so pissed off lol. no one gave a shit about math class to the point where the teachers would just give up and sit at their desks to do their own thang while we just fucked around

ok question for you...... whats something kind youve done for someone recently?

[queenofthequillandink]

So here's the thing. It was an accident. Obviously. No matter how much Sam laughed at him, he needed to remind her that it was an accident.

Danny hadn't noticed the wards cleverly hidden in the intricate carvings around the entryways to Wayne manor, but then, neither had Sam and the occult was kinda Her Thing, so really, Danny was blameless here and Tucker could stop laughing at them over the phone at any time.

"It's your fault for agreeing to be Sam's 'date' to a gala in Gotham anyway," he said when he could breathe between chortles again.

"It was supposed to be free food and making fun of rich people," Danny hissed, glaring at the phone sitting innocently on the counter of the bathroom he and Sam were hiding in, since they'd supposedly left the house 20 minutes ago. He paced wildly, trying to burn off frenetic energy. "How was I supposed to know that one of the Waynes was an honest to Ancients mage?"

"Rich people are weird," Sam pointed out from her seat on the closed toilet lid. "Always assume they're into weirder shit than you think they are."

"Not helpful," he said, glaring at her.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Look, there's gotta be an exit somewhere. Like a root cellar or a chimney. Or just, like, wait for a window to be open."

"Or you could try overshadowing someone, I guess," Tucker said, grimace clear even through the phone speakers.

Danny and Sam shared a matching grimace. "Tried that with Sam," Danny admitted. "It was our last shot before hiding in here."

"The wards expelled him as soon as I crossed the threshold," Sam adds. "And really, who the fuck wants to keep a ghost in their house this bad?"

"Great granddaddy Wayne, apparently," Tucker says. "Or grandmamma, I guess."

"Yeah, I don't super care about the gender of the person who did this to me-"

Sam gasps. "Danny! I thought you were an ally!"

"I'm literally trans, you're the worst-"

"Hey, are you nearly done? Some of us have to actually use the bathroom!"

Sam and Danny traded frantic looks before she called out, "Geez, can't a girl have a mental breakdown on the phone in peace, asshole?" and deliberately dragged her hands through her mascara to make it look like she'd been crying. As she headed for the door, she hissed, "Just find a chimney and meet me back at the hotel. You're so lucky my parents didn't come to this one. And go invisible, you idiot."

Danny flickered in visible, reaching out to grab his phone and hang up on Tuck as Sam made the poor dude who had to pee wildly uncomfortable in the hallway. Surely every inch of the manor couldn't be warded. How hard could this be?

~*~

They warded the chimneys. Who fucking did that?

~*~

Flyboy: day 23 in the chamber. they aint found me yet but when they do, they gon be surprised

Elvira's Cousin: danny youve been there like 18 hours

Flyboy: and im abt to make that a problem for everyone

thats pharaoh bad luck to you: danny no

Flyboy: danny YES

They wanted to be haunted? Fine. Danny would give them haunted.

~*~

The kitchen seemed like a good place to start. Very classic horror movie. Rattling cupboards, clinking plates, the whole nine yards.

Tim Drake-Wayne, the one only a little older than he and Sam, was alone in the kitchen, making coffee. Danny, invisible, grinned.

He scraped his nails along the counter before rattling a cabinet, shaking the plates inside. Tim didn't take his eyes off his phone. Danny added a low, ghostly moan. The dude didn't even blink, scrolling another inch. Kids these days. No appreciation for the artistry of a good haunting.

Rolling his eyes, Danny glitched Tim's screen and rattled the cabinet more aggressively. Tim finally blinked and looked up from his screen right as the coffee machine beeped.

"Finally. Hey, pass me the sugar?"

Danny looked around for who Tim could be talking to, but it was just the two of them in the kitchen. He picked up a labeled sugar container, floating it in front of Tim's face.

Not phased at all, Tim plucked it out of the air. "Thanks." Then he proceeded to dump about half sugar, half coffee into a waiting mug, slug the whole thing back in three gulps, and make the same drink again before leaving, clutching the mug like he expected it to be taken from him.

What the fuck.

~*~

The oldest brother was in the shower. D-something. Dick, right, a thing normal people called themselves in this day and age.

Carefully not looking (and ignoring the voice screeching Poker Face by Lady Gaga), Danny ran his finger over the steamed-up mirror. His message only took a second and he stood back to admire his handiwork.

'RuN. ThEy'rE coMinG.'

There. That was sufficiently spooky. He traipsed out into the hallway to wait.

A few minutes later, the water cut off. Danny held his breath and leaned forward.

"...huh." A startled laugh. "Alright, which one of you assholes did this and how did I not hear the door opening? Cass, did you come in through the vent again?"

...alright, well that one was on Danny. He had a sibling, he knew how this went. Time to go pick a new victim.

~*~

The daughter, Cass, was in the home gym. Her eyes snapped to him as soon as he floated through the wall, tracking him unerringly with a little furrow between her brow.

Danny was fully invisible. He checked twice.

He was just going to go find someone less terrifying to haunt, like the butler.

~*~

Clutching his heart, Danny skidded around the corner, as much as one could skid while flying.

Not the butler.

~*~

The littlest one started pointedly sharpening swords when he came in. The second-oldest was in his room cleaning guns. The blonde friend whose name Danny couldn't remember because the tabloids always got it wrong was conked out so hard on a living room couch that Dick walking through blaring Walking on Sunshine didn't wake her, let alone anything Danny could do. He heard someone mention that the newest kid, Duke, was laid up with a migraine. Danny was annoyed at being trapped, he wasn't an asshole.

thats pharaoh bad luck to you: r u double dead yet

Flyboy: what the fuck is wrong with the waynes

thats pharaoh bad luck to you: ????

Elvira's Cousin: theyre rich next question

Flyboy: they r NOT reacting right 2 being haunted

Flyboy: i think i'm stuck here

Flyboy: is this bruce waynes way of adopting me

thats pharaoh bad luck to you: i mean u do have the right color palette

Elvira's Cousin: they really warded the chimneys?

Flyboy: they really warded the chimneys

Elvira's Cousin: lol have fun being a wayne

Flyboy: sammmmmmm help me!

Elvira's Cousin: what do u think ive BEEN doing? ill get u out when i can

thats pharaoh bad luck to you: just u know dont get caught

Elvira's Cousin: TUCKER

Flyboy: TUCKER

thats pharaoh bad luck to you: whoops

DPxDC Prompt where, for whatever reason, Danny enters Wayne Manor. Maybe for a gala, maybe while actually following a bat back to the cave. In any case-- how he enters the manor isn't quite as important as how he leaves it.

There are protections and wards around the Batcave and Wayne Manor, and, due to his halfa status, Danny can interact… strangely with these wards. There is one ward in particular that allows him to enter the premises with no issues, but, well-- He hasn't been able to leave now. And it's kind of a problem.

Danny has now been squatting in the manor for several days, trying to think up a plan.

[max1461]

Yo maxxyy! Lay me down some thickus dickus beatzzz!

Uh, yeah, oh yeah. Uh, yeah, oh oh

Gimme the mic so my ass can drop some rhymes

The po-po can't incarcerate me for my crimes

Their shit stink and their faces sour like they sucking limes

But my homies keep the Fifth like fucking mimes

When I rap this good even mimes wanna fuck

Gimme soixante-neuf in the cab of my truck

Ride it like a rodeo I make their hips buck

If they have spouses you know those bitches is cucked

But the cuckoldry is consensual

Consent is indispensable

To cross that line is indefensible

You gotta be respectful when you're getting sensual

To your senses, my rap is a movable feast

Bitches try to understand but they don't know the least

Of what it takes or how to be such a fucking beast

My shit infectious; get in your pussy like yeast

That's quite enough of sex and violence

If you miss me: play it on two tiny violin-s

Your shit is worse than the mere sound of si-o-lence

My shit is dingus bangus titty shlorpi g fucknuts glomping ass ass ass ass ass ass-

-Suckyfuckydiplickticktips ass ass ass smashingcrashingbrashing fingersinhisassing-

-Academy-Award-winning like Mark Rylance!

Word!

hey kid, let me learn you a lesson

youve got some pluck but ya dont know who you're testin

if you challenge me, i'll do you a solid

i wont fuck your shit like my terrible maw did

when an intruder! came into my lair last night

and i gnashed and gnawed and sawed him up right

no no, i won't harm you that way

you're a good guy so you're here to stay

see i know you dont mean it, i recognize your good intentions

so instead of destruction i'll meet your challenge with attention:

whats up anon, how does it go?

hows been your day watch any good shows?

how about dicks, give any a blow?

which of course would a good thing — but i think you know

as for me ive just been chillin

got a big shrimp which i've been grilling

it's a little exciting but i admit it's not thrillin

he came from the sea and i met him on a beach

and when i said hi he said he'd been impeached

he was the president, of shrimp land country

which he ruled with his friend the monkey

but whoa! then the monkey betrayed him

took over the palace became a dictator like kim

so the shrimp he left, went on a long voyage

escaped to many lands until he met ya boy, —skridge—

sorry i just developed a speech impediment

i randomly say —skridge— when something else is meant

anyway, hey hey, what was i about to say?

oh right, the shrimp, well he met a well-known gay

and he said hey ive got one last wish

can you grill me up right and send me on a platter to the fish

who helped the monkey overthrow my regime

make him eat his own buddy make him fight his own team

and i said FUCK why thats really dark

but if its really what you want then i;ll do it on a lark

and so i did, and im sending him off

to evil monkey's palace with a FUCKIN scoff

fuck that monkey he's a real bad dude

but ill stop rambling now i don't wanna be rude.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! ����

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[jupiter-reimagined]

do- do you wanna tell me the OG story of Repunzel?

I never read it

YOUVE NEVER READ IT????? omg,, i legit got up to grab the book off my shelf to reread it again just so i dont get anything wrong ((even tho... ive read it 100s of times...))

---

so theres this poor couple who really wants to have children. one day the wife gets sick and basically says "i need that cabbage or i fucking die" and the husband, who obviously loves his wife, goes steal the cabbage. and then the wife wants more cabbage and he goes to steal more and more- you get the point.

however! plot twist! the garden he's been stealing from is owned by a witch! so she catches this poor guy who just wants to ease his wives weird pregnancy cravings, and makes a deal. he can take all the cabbage he wants, but in return gets the kid. she also promises to be a good mother and to treat her right, but the parents will not be allowed to see her ever again.

obv, the guy takes the deal, cuz man this witch is scary looking

so rapunzel is born, and is named after the cabbage the wife wanted (her name literally means salad leaf in latvian /srs). she spends years and years in the tower, and one day shes just singing, cuz the witch left and she's alone. some prince who happened to be wandering around in the middle of a forest hears her and is mesmerized from her voice, and goes back daily just to hear her sing.

a few days later, as he's listening to her sing, the witch comes home and does the classic "rapunzel rapunzel let down your hair" shtick, which gives the guy an idea.

next time he sees the witch leave, HE calls her to let down her hair. she does and ends up being like "oh who the hell are you???" but they end up bonding! nice! and the prince keeps visiting but only late at night so he's not caught.

that works! until it doesnt. rapunzel complains about how hard it is to pull up the witch, but so easy to pull up the prince. the witch is now fuckin ANGRY, cuts off all of rapunzels hair and throws HER outta the lil window. she's still alive and well btw, just depressed as shit and living in the middle of the forest now.

the witch then waits for the prince to come and call for rapunzel to let down her hair. but yknow! its the witch who lets it down instead! so this idiot climbs up, gets confronted and... jumps outta the window... and end up faceplanting in a bush full of thorns, going blind.

he wanders the forest, still blind, for like a year, and is sad hes w/o rapunzel. however, he ends up finding rapunzel cuz of her singing again. he stumbled his way trough the forest in her general direction and ended up meeting up! hooray!

they hug and cry, their tears end up.. mixing together and BOOM BOOM MAGIC the prince can see again! he leads her back to his kingdom and they lived happily ever after.

---

this has gotta be the shittiest book report youve ever seen but dear god am i obsessed w this book. plus you literally asked for this. i think i would've remembered like 90% of it even w/o rereading the story just now. ALSO! i found a link that leads to the english version of the story for free! [link here] its very short, just barely above 1.3k words

[lampoest]

Unfiltered thoughts watching mission impossible rouge nation inspired by @chaotically-cas

(sorry its so long my brain is all over the place)

this is also part 14 of me watching it every day :/

CURSING WARNING !! ALSO SPOILERS !!!

why is brandt first to speak

starting out with "shit" good call benji

brandt man we get the package is on the mcfucking plane

badass luther 10/10

nervous benji 10/10

that one sound effects sounds like the discord notif

why he in a fancy suit

*jumps on a plane with almost no plan on getting inside*

why did tom cruise think this was agood idea?

but like why would benji even open the ramp?

how is he not winded from that?

classic ethan

THE INTRO 1000/10

SOLOMON LANE !!

wait you can already see lane in the record shop.

how do they tell the agents these little convos?

also damn way to give it away

what if someone just looked in that room and saw the secret message?

also how did the disc get changed? because the imf definitely didnt make that

and how did lane know where he was going?

speaking of lane---

dang that man is pretty

he always sets guns down carefully

i can only see alec baldwin as trump from his snl skits so i dont take hunley seriously ;-;

damn brandt needs to step it up. man keeps letting himself be inturrupted

bruh the imf is only luck

why did no one resrict his legs?

also why is janik such an asshole?

dang she cool !!

why does it take janik so long to get that gun?

bravo-echo 1-1

this man is bleeding but decided instead of taking care of his wound he calls brandt.

i like how you actually see ethan worried and confused trying to plan his next moves. he is rarely caught off guard so it's refreshing to see his more human side

hunley spitting accusations damn bro

also a big fuck you from ethan to hunley

dang ethan is good

brandts little hidden smile

and ethan leaving trails

bitch how you sketch that good???

STAN BENJI !!

youve won, your way out of a job

benji is good

my little brandt x benji shipper in me is happy

simon pegg is such a good actor

the first time i saw this i was like: aww noooo

all dunn with that

TO THE OPERA !!!

TUX BENJI TUX BENJI

i cant tell if that was ethan

it just looks like youre talking to yourself thats more sus than using a phone

want drama? go to the opera

ok but like if you look like that im sorry you are a bad guy. thats like a stereotypical bad guy face

benji-

you can see ethan in the background of that scene

flute gun flute gun

oh no benji is in the closet. dont worry man we love you

if i were there and i just had a good vantage point i could find lane in an instant

ooh ilsa pretty

pipe gun

also pamphlet computer

those key things are cool and plausible

spiderman spiderman does whatever, ethan hunt can?

a W O M A N

what W O M A N?

reminds me of a marshmallow gun i made out if pvc pipes.

why does she not put that thing back?

also the dude loads it and then later it is unloaded

dang that guy is pretty tall.

ethan is so tiny

dis bitch is like uhh gimmie a sec to catch my breath mate

why he only dropkick people?

only 30 mins in ?!?!

the cinematography is exquisite

yes benji goin sicko mode

*gets shot* just a flesh wound

bruh i would've been so startled at that

i love how confused he is at that

ilsa saves ethan once again

they did this on the first day of filming

skdjs

ah yes random package in car = not bomb totally

if she tried to shoot benji then yes she is a bad person

but she didnt try to, she could've easily but didn't

benji being paranoid

she could just say the dude's name

benji being scared

hunley jumping to conclusions

brandt actually cares yeey

why di they approach from different sides of the street they were in the same car.

benji was far away from the sparks why he flinch?

friendship goals

oop plot dump that only mission impossible can get away with

ok...

why this mf's voice so smooth

lane is struggling with chopsticks

also lane :))))

ive chocked on my water so many times watching this scene

lanes voice :))))))

SHE RUINED HIS SUSHI WHAT THE FUCK ILSA

this man dont know what personal space is

gotta look up these peeps mbti types

casablanca references

also benji is wearing dollar store lookin glasses while ethan is wearing some fancy glasses

luther is top notch

as much as i dont like jeremy renner he delivers these lines really well

because atlee is a bitch

oh honey please, impossible is a walk in the park

benji just wants to wear a mask

id be so nervous walking through those

yes...

personal wellbeing who?

why not bring a plastic bottle full of air?

tom cruise can hold his breath for 6 minutes and he learned to do so for that scene

luther big brain

damn cctv

why did they need to break in while benji was going in?

das sus but ok

also isnt et voila french?

she just randomly tapping the ipad

benji being stressed

if he missed the exact center

i want one of those to open my locker's lock

if he just went with the current and didnt try to force his way against the water ilsa wouldn't have had to save him

imagine if he put the wrong one in-

she is breathing heavily to over saturate her body with oxygen so she can hold her breath longer

see ilsa makes it out without well and she went with the current

BENJI'S OUTFIT YESSS :))))))

no you didn't

you gave her a false sense of security

ethan's confused face for the next like 10 mins is great

liar

why does that one man look like sean ambrose?

parkour

skdjdksjdjdkfjs

the facial acting in this

STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS

the glare yesss

vrrrm vrrm

hey its you !

drivin like a grandma

shit !

benji just screaming

im convinced that ethan is indestructible

no you didn't survive that

bonk

dskfh

ethan didnt just-

also why didnt benji just tell ethan he made a copy ???

dont shoot and drive kids

high speed motorcycle chase with no helmet or leather. tom cruise, how?

i wanna learn how to drive a motorcycle

HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD YET ?!?!

the lighting

ofc brandt would be the person why sits backwards on a chair. fkn bi vibes

benji to the rescue

fuck off atlee

i am so proud of us ...

the lines are done so well here

benji lookin like how i look when my parents argue

YES THIS SCENE

LANE LANE LANE LANE LANE

im too fucking gay for this movie-

once again no personal space

*inhales* :))))))))))))))

ive like memorized the entire script of this including the music

1 man performance of m:i5 ???

benji's outfit

also i love how youre able to see the characters in the background. props for the attention to detail

i need that haircut because his hair is lookin A+

fuck you atlee

ilsa spitting straight facts

uhh ilsa he still loves julia

NO BENJI NOOOO

EW FUCK OFF JANIK NO ONE LIKES YOU

speak of the devil-

betrayal--

WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY !??

actin sus

BENJI LANE BENJI LANE

his posture shdhskhsj (i cant be talking though)

0 personal space whatsoever

why does everyone have the same haircut in this???

simon mcburney pretending to be hunt prentending to be atlee

manipulation !?

the syndicate you say ? i know a thing or two about them 😼😼😼

damn though renner delivers these lines really well

a black tie? how informal. ..

complimenting hunt right infront of him

but he really didnt

i never realized that they were on the clock for this

huh...

the lil head nod though-

HAHA YEAH FUCK YOU ATLEE

is it bad that i hate atlee more than i hate lane?

ethan big smart wrinkle brain

janik just reading a fucking magazine

ethan has a photographic memory

oh look its benji :)))

lane :))))

ethan being tough

it must be aquward to get the low angle shots

lane is running out the clock to put pressure on ethan hmmm big brain

it isnt working though :\

damn he so cocky that hes telling the villain his plan

ill give you 1/5 of the money you wanted to get my bf back

ok but like does tom cruise just not age?

kill the woman

ugh i hate janik

the trust that is shown between those two is great

yes the score and the chase are so great

also this man really hates windows for some reason

fuck off janik

sneaky sneaky

EYY ITS LANE !!!

yeyy janik is dead

once again dodging bullets and hating glass

couldve killed him but needed him alive

the glass box

badass ethan

all the pretty men assembled

lane really let himself go aster this

dang though lane is my favorite villain ever

i like how for once the girl and the guy just are friends instead of romantically involved

eyy the callbacks to how the movie started.

welcome to the imf

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[coweggomelet]

volume 6 lads

from what i remember this one is similar to 4 in that it gives us a bit of an emotional break

don’t get me wrong i know there’s some stuff but i think overall it’s a little less intense

- ahhhh they’re all fighting together againnn it feels so right

- hey. hey yang and blake. i’m gonna need you to stop. cause my little heart can’t take it

- this dude really was challenged once and had a full blown murder tantrum. that’s fragility my guy

- ruby is SO CUTE look at her little happy face

- oh yeah. take a train. you guys have a great track record with trains

- i also keep getting like three versions of the same ad about getting vaccinated and it’s got all these workers from tv & movie sets and it’s so awkward this one guy looks so annoyed during his whole part

- it’s not just the turrets y’all oz is withholding shit once again

- don’t fuckin shove my boy!!

- i love that qrow immediately steps back when ruby comes forward. like he 100% respects not only her authority as a team leader but also her ability to solve situations and talk to people. he knows man. he knows his niece is something else

- MARIAAAAA MY GIRLL YES

- uh oh the train crashed. who could’ve seen that coming

- cinder really is just too angry and spite filled to die isn’t she

- hehe maria you’re funny

- it’s so funny that oz is still refusing to tell them everything knowing that everything is revealed in the next episode

- oh oz. i know he was your friend. but all these kids saw was the insane amount of harm and death he caused. trying to defend him to them is not gonna go well

- oscaarrr i love you!! you’re so good!!

- oooo chills

- uuugghh i love jinn she’s so cool

- oz. my dude. the ship has sailed. you can’t stop this anymore

- this, my friends, is what we call a lore episode

- this whole sequence gives me chills it’s so gooood

- eurgh i hate how the god of darkness moves like i get it it’s part of the aesthetic but you really don’t need to do that it’s creepy

- salem was so smart to use a super powerful sibling rivalry to get what she wanted

- she really didn’t deserve to watch the love of her live just get revived and killed over and over again

- jeez the gods are assholes. they’re all oooohh maintain balance and then they torture a woman who just wanted her husband back by making her live forever. for what??? for daring to be smart?? ugh

- c’mon gods you gotta respect the hustle

- you think that making someone immortal will make them realize the importance of life and death?? idiots

- god her face

- she’s so smart what the FUCK

- “the hearts of men are easily swayed” really reminds me of galadriel’s “the hearts of men are easily corrupted” in lotr

- a couple hundred humans attack them and the god of darkness decides “you know what? i’m gonna eliminate all of humanity. that feels like the right choice. yeah. i feel good about this.”

- the fact that salem wasn’t even like… a real villain until she tried to kill herself in order to escape her torture and suffering and the grimm juice made her Big Mad

- like it wasn’t even her, it was the grimm juice. i really do believe that without that she wouldn’t have become salem the Villain

- i’m sorry i don’t know a ‘deathly hallows’ i only know the relics

- ohhh fuck i forgot about this!!! oh rwby’s totally gonna end with the gods judging humanity when the relics are brought together. maybe not end end but it’s definitely gonna be close to the end and it’ll be a Big Thing where they strategize about how to convince the gods that humanity is good

- obviously the first maidens weren’t their kids but boy is there a theme going on here. and maybe even something plot relevant cause their kids could do magic

- all the main characters being able to witness this and us seeing their reactions is such a good touch like god, the impact of this reality is so much heavier because we get to see the characters actually affected by it react to watching it unfold before them

- ohhh my boy. you didn’t deserve this burden before but now that you know fully what it means you really don’t deserve it. i mean look at him!!!

- oh qrow!!! you are doing good! i mean i get it, your whole world’s been shattered and the man you gave your life to lied to you about a lot of important shit but you are doing good i promise!!

- fuck yeah maria use your sassy wise old lady authority

- oh god emerald you poor thing you’re just a babey— oh god i felt salem’s hand on emerald’s shoulder fuck dude this show is so effective

- truly, this is a master class in manipulation

- uh oh salem your ex is back

- UH OH ITS THE FARM RUN YALL

- i like that weiss is wearing what looks like very thin tights, a strapless dress, a lil jacket thing, and the animators said “here she’s got a scarf she’s warm now”

- ruby didn’t kill torchwood y’all, he got chomped. like a lil bitch

- oh god this episode

- yaaaayyy

- before this episode my friend went “you ready for some horror?” and was grinning

- oh yeeeaaah the corpses. lovely

- god as soon as they opened the door to where the cellar entrance is it immediately started affecting weiss

- oh the DOOR nope no thank you get the fuck OUT

- watching this show with my friend was also the origin of me being sad cause this shit is sad and her going “oh i’m having a great time” and this episode in particular she was enjoying herself WAY TOO MUCH if you ask me

- little jump scares kept getting me and she LAUGHED and said “that got you?!?” YES it DID i’m a WUSS

- oh the journals!!! the way they incorporated that was so interesting and added SUCH good creepiness and suspense without giving it all away or ramping it up too fast

- ruby’s so good i love her!!

- uuugghh it’s getting them already how haven’t they noticed???

- the eyes got me good the first time

- their weird fuckin attitudes were the creepiest part of this episode

- ruby said not my friends you bitches

- mariaaaa i love you you’re so smart

- god when they’re reading from the journal at the very end…

- neo’s so tiny!!

- talk about some girlbosses 

- MARIAAAAA YOURE SUCH A BADASS i love her backstory

- love her outfit too

- OOOO THE FUCKIN CROCODILE CLOCK LADY ooooo this is so cooooool

- the ticking!!!!

- oh maria you poor thing. but also you’re so smart like that was such a good move

- aww haha qrow’s a fan. awww he based his weapon off hers!! we love a fanboy

- “i wanted to be as good as the grimm reaper.” “well, im nothing but a disappointment, so you’re well on your way” DAMN MARIA SAVAGE

- oh nice they made to argus! NOW SHOW ME THE BABY

- “CUTE BOY OZ” me too nora

- THE BAAAABBYYYY

- and jaune’s sister and her wife!! I LOVE THEIR GAY LIL FAMILY

- yang is good with kids. marry me

- YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT THATS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- HUN!! god i love saph and terra

- “shut up there’s food!” heh me too ruby

- aahhh cordo

- she and maria are totally exes who had a bad breakup and now they hate each other. a tenzin/lin situation if you will

- jaune… my boy… i know you’re angry but oscar is really trying his best

- “i don’t know anything” me neither ruby

- wait cinder didn’t have her grimm arm yet so how did ruby’s ability trigger?

- uh oh my boy’s missing

- remember when you were having fun being the bad guy emerald. remember that. it’s almost like… it was only fun for you cause cinder was there

- it makes me so sad that not only did emerald actually believe that cinder cared about her, but she actually considered cinder family and her emotional health was so connected to cinder being there

- “all you ever learned was pain and violence and now you’re too afraid to leave it” tyrian excuse me i’m the one with the commentary and analysis that’s rude stay in your lane

- oh god oh fuck. the pyrrha statue is comin up isn’t it

- AH FUCK THE LEAF

- oh there she is. my love

- i still wanna know who this lady is. like she’s even the same voice actor as pyrrha. and she’s got red hair. i don’t think pyrrha ever talked about family members, but my money’s on her mom

- this moment fuckin got me dude. i was doing the full tearing up, lil sniffles, choked up thing. uuuuggghh

- god they love each other so much

- i am NOT gonna cry again

- oh qrow. you poor thing

- THE BABYYYY HI ADRIAN DO YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

- young man!! you scared us half to death! do you know what time it is??

- his lil outfit i i looovveee hiiimm

- oscarrr!! you’re so sweet!!

- THE CASSEROLE

- FUCK YEAH RUBY TELL HIM

- qrow’s like… damn. ruby’s right

- here we goooo infiltration time

- oh FUCK yeah they kill adam soon

- adrian what a smart babyyyy i love youu

- hehehehehe maria is luggage

- honestly this is such a good plan it just goes to shit cause these kids can’t catch a fuckin break

- y’all need. to stop. looking. at each other. like that.

- qrow stop being emo

- mariaaaa i love youuuu you’re such a great old lady

- uh ohhhh problems with blake

- i would love it if they used qrow’s semblance strategically. like in some sort of heist/infiltration situation, sending him behind enemy lines to fuck up their luck

- ruby’s so good at speeches

- depressed? feeling bad about yourself? feeling emo and riddled with guilt? just get a Ruby Speech(TM) and you'll be cured!

- qrow’s face

- oh yeaaaahhh big metal guy

- cordo

- hey cordo

- are you uh

- maybe takin it a lil too far

- why are so many atlas military people so fuckin intense with maintaining order and big shows of power and controlling other people???

- ADAM YOU BITCH YOURE GONNA DIE

- yeah you’re a source of trauma for her but GUESS WHAT SHE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM

- at this point dude it’s real pathetic how obsessed with blake you are

- thank god for auras or falling damage would be a much bigger problem

- cordo can you maybe chill

- weiss earthbended!!

- jaune you’re so smart

- ren said things may be complicated but boy oh boy do i care about that strong lightning lady

- “rightfully in charge??” shut up cordo and go be gay with maria

- noooo her fun coat!!

- oooo Dramatic waterfalls

- YES BITCH IM SO PROUD OF YOU YOUVE LEARNED SO MUCH

- adam i’ll kill you

- YEEEAHHHH WHAT AN ENTRANCE YANG MARRY MEEEE

- aaaaggghh the music holy shit

- i love how the fight scenes progress through the volumes it’s so cool

- the parallels between yang and adam are also really interesting. like their semblances, their tendency to lead with strong emotions. interesting

- ooooo he doesn’t like when they look at each other hehehehehe SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW BITCH HAHA

- HOLDING HAANDSSS THEYRE SO GAY

- he’s so basic too. like he looks like a frat boy.

- y’all do your jobs. there’s a big water boy coming but you don’t know cause you’re too busy being goddamn bootlickers

- oscar is so smart and ruby is so brave i love themmm

- uh oh cordo it’s a ruby speech watch out

- ya she is nuts

- THEYRE GONNA WIN CAUSE THEYRE IN LOVE

- ya but you’re a bitch adam and yang is fuckin amazing

- I LOVE THIS FIGHTTTT

- yeet the blake

- FUCK YEAH YANG GET HIM

- i fucking love that they killl him with the pieces of blake’s weapon. like there’s something to that. they kill him with the pieces of a thing he destroyed

- if he wasn’t dead enough he got crunched too

- I LOVE THEM

- hahahahaaaaa cordo they got you

- yeah cordo!!! argus is danger cause you were more worried about fucking “proving the might of atlas” or whatever against some teenagers you fool

- ohhhh shiiiittt cinder’s atlas outfit!! they’re going to a super cold snowy place and cinder said you know what i should wear short shorts and a sleeveless top with super tall boots and a lil cape. that’ll work. and she’s right. it does. have i mentioned i love cinder?

- uh oh big boy swims watch out

- cordo shut up this your own fuckin hubris

- god cordo’s desperation is so heartbreaking

- when are people gonna learn to trust ruby and her friends man

- their willingness to keep fighting and risk their lives and also a Ruby Speech(TM) made cordo believe in them which i love

- i love jinn she likes lil ruby and her friends

- hi summerrrr

- cordoooo i’m so proud of you. she gave up part of this insane symbol of atlas’s power to help ruby and her friends. like she put aside her own ego and i’m so proud of her

- fuck yeah!!!

- awww such a good uncle

- damnnn atlas is gorgeous

- even mercury is terrified by salem’s weird grimm shit

- the fuckin wicked witch with her flying gorillas

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Stay Safe (Early Years)

Summary- 3.7k Curtis Everett x Y/N. Curtis is appointed by McGregor as second and preparing for the McGregor Riots. Traumatic almost Non Con event described. Written by request for @that-damn-girl​. Thank you so much for your love of Curtis babes. This is a complete rewrite, I have another version that I might post later as a “this could have been what happened between these two” lol.

Curtis sat among the men, his back braced against the wall, listening. They were collected to hurry to Gilliams, which could only mean one thing. McGregor got word somehow about the next part of the plan, for the revolt. The revolt they been planning for the past two years, Curtis had just been allowed to join McGregors inner circle, and now he leaned forward to see a map of the train cars and McGregor had his finger on one. "The water car. This here is where we gotta get past. From what this map says, there is only one water car.” 

Curtis scanned the map, but it was so dirty and worn, it was hard to tell what else they were looking at. It seemed a good portion of the front end was sleeper cars, entertainment cars. The middle, working class. They were growing food, making goods, and what also looked like hospital cars. Then a few storage cars and finally water. It made no sense to Curtis why they would have the water car so far back, just before the prison. Shouldnt it be near the front?

“Okay, so we go take the water car, or get past it?” Another member asked, shrugging. “Its like 7 cars to get up to the water car. How much further do you want to go McGregor?” Absently McGregor scratched at his beard, thinking. “What do you think Gilliam, make it the goal to get up to at least these food cars? We need it, desperately. They been halving our rations for some time now.” 

“Tactic to weaken us.” Gilliam sighed, rubbing his face and leaning forward slightly on his cane. “They know were gonna feed our children first. Weve already proven that ages ago.” The mans rheumy eyes glanced at Curtis, who looked away from the gaze.

Curtis’s placed his palm against his arm, easily feeling the scar through the fabric of his jacket. Most everyone... The guilt of his actions in the past flashed across his face momentarily before going back to his cold demeanor. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. “Where did you even get this intel anyways? Does anyone know if this map is accurate?”

“Its accurate, I paid dearly for this, and lets leave it at that.” McGregor gruffly stated, agitated that he would be questioned. Curtis quieted his questions as McGregor continued, laying out the rest of the plan. Which was simple enough. The ones in the first row would charge the meager amount of guards who did the daily head count, and get a hold of there weapons. Keep one alive, that was the important part. They needed his accessibility to open the doors. “Remember, Keep at least one alive, prefer two though. Just in case.” He stressed to all of them. “Not a word to anyone either. This will all stay hush until were finally ready.” 

“When is that gonna be?” Curtis decided to question again, and Gilliam this time answered. “Its almost new years, and there will be more activity back here.” The whole group groaned. Every year Minister Mason brought the tail end boiled eggs, and did a long winded speech in several languages about how Wilford was the divine and merciful. “So after we cross the bridge and do the tail end mockery, we will start.” Gilliam rubbed at his face. “Okay, leave me now. I need to rest.” 

With shuffles the people started to filter out, when McGregor stalled Curtis from leaving, leaving just the three men left in Gilliams space. “Curtis, we needed to speak with you specifically.” McGregor said, and Gilliam nodded in confirmation. 

“What?” Curtis asked, his brows arching in question. 

“Im tempted to keep you from going son, simply because if something happens to me, I need you to take up this cause.” McGregor tapped on the map. And Curtis shook his head in confusion as to what he is saying. 

“I dont understand, nothing is going to happen, were going to make it to the food cars.” Curtis stated with conviction. 

“We probably will, but we also need to be realistic here Curtis. If we dont get that far, there needs someone to take right over and keep this up with Gilliam. Getting the people out of this cage is the most important. I know your young son, but people already respect you. Your cool headed and smart, I know I will be leaving it in capable hands. And its just a precaution. Plan B.” McGregor explained. “And no one but Gilliam knows, so dont go mentioning it to anyone.” 

Curtis nods, still trying to process, and he looks between the two men. “Im not sitting this out, I refuse to. Weve come to far to sit it out.” and the two other men shook there head. 

“We already figured you refuse to sit out, but your not gonna be in the very front in that initial charge, your going to bring along the rest until we at least get enough weapons in hand.” Curtis was glowering already at this news and before he could say anything, Gilliam said sharply. “Curtis its already settled. You will do this cause Im asking you to.” 

Blue eyes that were enraged shut down at those words, and he gave a nod. Turning, he ducked out, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, lost in his thoughts as he weaved around the people doing there usual activities. When a holler caught his attention, and lifting his gaze, he saw you with a whole pile of kids racing down the aisle. Grabbing one into a hug, your tickled him and he squealed, making all the kids twist back like a flock. They all tackled you, and you mocked scream, tumbling out of sight into a bunk with them. His worries temporarily set aside, he made his way down to where you all disappeared. 

“Y/N, you still alive in there?” He ducked down enough to look in, and your hand shot out to grab ahold of his, which he pulled you out, your face flush with laughter, and you grab a hold of his coat to steady yourself. “With those little hellions? Never... they make me so proud, I raised them to be ruthless.” Giggling while you are still trying to catch your breath and you wag a finger in the bunk. “You all better be hidden when I come back.” Hooking your arm through Curtis’s, you pull him away, still brushing your hair from your face and smiling up at him. 

“Where you been all day?” you questioned as the two of you walk away from the bunk, and the kids scramble out to go hide away from you, you glance over your shoulder to take notice where they are headed, not that there was many options for them to go. As long as they werent disturbing other people to much. Turning back to Curtis, you tilt your head to look up and study him, his face was clouded and agitated, you could see where he was tensing his jaw enough to tic, something was certainly on his mind. 

Giving you a side ways glance, he gave just one word and then it all clicked for you. “Gilliams.” Of course, not that you were exactly privy to it, but you heard the whispers making there way through the train. It was like a match sparked being thrown on gasoline, snaking its way among the people, giving them all hope, and restlessness. Already you seen a spike in your parents clinic of people getting into mild fights. Dabbing away at the cuts and scrapped knuckles, warning them to keep clean as possible cause infections set in so easily. 

It was a ignited fire that was only getting hotter with time. 

You press your shoulder against his to drag more words out of him. “What else Curtis?” He looks like hes about to say more, working the words up from his chest, his eyes sharp in there resolve, and before he can open his mouth to fill you in, McGregor comes up from behind, and clasps Curtis’s shoulder in greeting. “Hey you two, coming up to the front soon? They are about to hand out protein bars.” A look, one that you very well caught, passed between them. An uneasy feeling sinking in your chest. 

“Yea, we will be headed up soon.” Curtis snaps a bit at him, and you wrinkle your brow at the odd interaction. Curtis watched McGregors retreating back, and tugged you lightly off to a small cubby, you stumbling into the out of the way place between the pipework that crisscrossed in the space between some bunks. “Curtis? what is this about?” 

“Listen to me Y/N, shits about to happen. And its gonna be just what youve been hearing. Im sure you and your folks will be part of clean up, but promise me you wont leave this car till weve made it through, okay?” Curtis’s eyes searched yours looking for confirmation, anything that you were going to listen to him. A slight nod is given, and you pick at your hands before reaching out, and fisting your hands in his jacket.

“Dont fucking get killed either Curtis, promise me that, okay? I know your going to insist on going.” So matter of fact, you knew your friend, he wouldnt be able to live with himself otherwise. You watched him for years punish himself for his desperate acts in the past. That fear that anyone would hold it against him, the way he grasp at his arm when he thought it was all to good for him. You knew, Curtis still hadnt forgiven himself. 

“I wont, I promise...” Fake promises, he couldnt look you in the eyes when he said this, no one could never know if they will return once they leave this car, but your look made the man ache in his chest. How he wished he could bring back that smile you had on just minutes earlier. You shined, a softness in all this hellish darkness. You have been there for him since the beginning, you came right out of that darkness from where you were hiding with Mat and fell to your knees, trying to stop the bleeding where he tried to cut off his arm. Curtis didnt even know how to react that day, when you at 13 showed more compassion then any of the others did, then he did. Your eyes wide in your fear, and yet you refused to pull away from him “Its okay, you dont have to do this, see?” Your words still echoed through him. 

It just continued, always you were piecing him back together again, seeking him out to wrap an arm around him when he missed human touch, making sure he felt you vibrate against him in your laughter when you leaned against him, your grin seeking his to flutter for a moment on his lips, teasing voice singing his name.The times your tears soaked on his shoulder, your hug rattling in his hold as your sadness penetrated the anger. When did it all really matter that much he held onto you like a life line? His life line. At some point for him, you crossed that line as just friend. And he felt it blossom through him with a heated desire he never felt before. What would it be like.... to have you as truly his? Forever his? You were just to good for the like of him. He would be a dark mark on you,  scrubbing forever to rub out his stain. 

Curtis didnt know how it happened, but in that moment, he had to know. Had to know if you were just as soft in his arms as you were strong, and his hands moved to cup your face, your cheeks fingers pressing back into your hair, and that was just what he imagined, silken tendrils wrapping around his fingers. You went wide eyed in those seconds, and yet never pulled away as if he was scaring you in any way. Your eyes softened for him, and when he pulled you in closer, your head tipped to meet him. That first touch, a soft press of lips was innocent sweetness, soft brushes of lips and breaths. 

Your innocence certainly made him continue forward gently, a tilt of his head and soft nibbles on your lip, a press of his tongue made you open in surprise and he let that kiss deepen. You were clumsy in it, always a little behind, but Curtis led you with encouraging strokes, the whole sensation dragged out a moan from you, a flush of your body pressing into his. His hands tightened slightly in your hair, and breaking from you, his forehead leaning against yours with soft pants shared between you. No you werent his, but what he wouldnt give for you to be. He was still trying to calm the fire you laced through him in that kiss. 

“I promise... I will come back Y/N” Crystal blue eyed promises now, and you accepted it far better this time, your lips still tingling from the contrast of soft kisses and brush of bristling beard, to his tongue filling your mouth, laying claim to you as his. 

But havent you really been his for a while? Even when you didnt know it, he was your safety, your dark guardian. 

Always looking out for you, protecting you.  

Drawing your way out, you are sure to slide the curtain closed for your patients privacy, and start making another round to see to other people, chat with them, just see if they need anything in general. You dont notice the wandering eyes following you, weaving through the people till you got to a quieter part of the tail end. You didnt notice, not until its to late when an arm shoots out in front of you, making you pause momentarily as it blocked you. “What the... Eric, what do you want?” You try to duck under his arm, but the mans grasp on your arm pauses you. A glance his way showed a handsome young man, blond locks curling around green eyes, that glinted coldly at you, and he firmly without any choice of your own backed you against the wall. “See youve been playing little home nurse again Y/N”

“Just helping mom and dad, can you please let go?” You try tugging your arm from his grasp and his other hand came up to your face to trace the curve, obviously not ready to loosen his hold, for whatever reason you would clam up around him, your heart fluttering and your breath quickening. Some would think it was innocent attraction. But it was more fear of what he would eventually do to you if given the chance.

“When you going to let me kiss you huh? I dont see why you keep fighting me on this.” He hovered closer, his breath washing over your face and you wrinkle your nose at it. It was hot and sour to you, you tried to pull back but there was no where else to go, so the back of your head would thump against the cold metal wall.

“Im not, I dont want to and you cant change my mind.” You wriggle once more trying to get him to stop digging into your arm. “So how about you go find one of the other girls? I know there are plenty who want to be with you.”

“To easy, I rather like the one who denies me” His voice dropped deeper, making you panic sightly. His eyes, you hated the way he would stare at you, following you from wherever he was, like you were a prize to be had. "I figured it's about time I change your mind about it though." You strain out of his touch on your face and go to push against his chest to stumble him back.

"I said no! Fuck no would I ever be with you, let alone kiss you" you snap at him, turning to leave, put distance between you two, back in a crowd. Eric was to coward to try to anything with people around. He snarled though, wrapping an arm around you.

Effectively he pinned your arms helpless and your back against your chest, falling back harder then you expected, making you helpless, his hand clasped over your mouth, effectively muffling any protests you had. "What you think your to good for someone like me sweetheart. If your good enough to get Curtis's dick wet, think you can mine as well without this much of a fight." Your eyes widened at his words. I haven't, were not, stop!... Just friends, you think in as your panic is washing over you, and he manipulated your head to fall back to his shoulder, you try twisting out. Then he pressed his face in your neck, and bit you, what started as a sloppy kiss turned into a bruising bite, yelping at the shock of pain and you try kicking him hard enough in the leg behind you to drop him. The tread of your boot slid down the inside of his leg, and he pushed you away from him to crash you against the trains wall, hard enough to bounce you off, making you groan from the harsh impact.

Erics hand whipped you around, effectively pinning you with his body. No way to leverage a kick again, and hands pinned your arms down to keep from attacking. "Fucken shit head!" Your voice raised into yelling at him, where was everyone? It was eerily quiet and no one around, he smirked at your struggles, dawning on you when you saw how turned on, felt how turned on. That foreign bulge dug into your belly. "Keep struggling Y/N, just makes me hard for you, so cute thinking you don't want this."

"Your vile Eric, like those front end pigs" nothing but disgust dripping from your tone, trying to hide your fear. But he knows, it just widens his predatory grin knowing your words were masking the fear coursing through your veins. His lips hovered so close, mocking tone as he brushed them barely against yours, as you tried tilting your face away. “Come on Y/N, just one little kiss for me. Do it and I will let you go.”

You glare at him and spit, right in the fuckers face, it runs down his eyes and nose, and you smirk at him as he starts cussing and wiping his face on his sleeve. “You little fucking cunt whore! Nasty pig think you can get away with that shit?!” His hand releases you and goes to hit you when a grasp catches his wrist, wrenching it back. Both yours and Erics eyes go wide in surprise, and you see Curtis glowering behind him, firmly twisting Erics arm hard, then harder again he snarls out. “She sure as fuck is gonna get away with it. I think she told you no”

Curtis jerked Erics arm further and a crack was followed by Eric screaming and letting you go, you slid away from his grasp, Curtis jerking him forward to take where he had you pinned before. They were evenly matched in size, but Curtis had him crushed between his body and metal, his face distorted as you glanced up. It struck you in this moment just how opposite these two men were. Curtis never once raised his voice in the time youve known him,but he had to raise above Erics squealing out in pain and anger. “When a person tells you no, It fucking mean no. You owe Y/N an apology.” He pulled Eric off the wall, and kicked at the back of his knees to drop him in front of you.

Curtis loomed over him, his arm still firmly twisted up between his shoulder blades, and growled in the mans ear. “Say it, or Im going to wrench it right off your body.”

“Im sorry!” you could see the effort it took Eric to say it, but Curtis clearly wasnt satisfied.

“AGAIN!” This time he really roared, Eric cowering a bit, and remorseful, he started again.

“Im sorry Y/N, I promise to never touch you again!” Curtis glances at you and nods that its okay, he had him firmly and you stepped forward, grasping the mans hair, and tipping his head back.

“Touch me ever again, or ANYONE on this train, your dead, do you hear me Eric? I will have no problem watching you die, either by my hand or another. Am. I. Fucking. CLEAR?”

“Yes! god yes, just let me go, it wont happen again.” Eric pleads, and you step away from Eric, and circle around to Curtis’s side. Shoving him harshly away, Eric rolled to a stand and clutched his arm, racing away as fast as he could. The coward, would probably make up some lie to cover face when he made it to your father to reset the arm. You stood next to Curtis, still fuming. Your fear from earlier forgotten, now you were just enraged watching where the coward disappeared.

“Hey, he aint gonna try messing with you again.” Curtis let his hand rest against your shoulder, looking down at you.

And thats what Curtis always did, he never expected more from you, not a thank you, not any kind of favor. He simply needed you to be safe, that was all he ever asked for from you. It was something that you could give him, he so desperately needed. 

You lick your lip, they are still swollen from the kiss, and you blush just a bit at the memory of his mouth on yours. He tipped his head, letting his thumb brush lightly on your cheek and he moved to kiss your forehead. 

“Thank you for that Y/N.” and you shifted in closer to press your face against his chest, your arms sliding around his torso, just holding him, memorizing this feeling right here, cause your first kiss, shook the words right out of you. 

You didnt know what would happen in the days to come, but you knew that right now, things between you two changed, having finally crossed that line. 

Tags-  @jtargaryen18 @what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @p8tn0lish @stardancerluv @princess-evans-addict @patzammit  @that-damn-girl @curtisbbq @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @thatweirdwalangpake

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: You said you were coming to this thing

Charlie: can I send your apologies instead now?

Charlie: 👍

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: ill be there like i said

Charlie: Time management was never one for the CV

Charlie: but you’re already more than fashionably late, dear

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: invite came from mckenna and he dont care

Charlie: It’s not his dinner party

Ronnie: no shit

Ronnie: its not yours either calm down like

Charlie: I’m just saying, you’ve wrangled an invite as is

Charlie: you’re gonna make it more awkward because?

Ronnie: if shes not got you working the door now as another favour why the fuck are you so bothered is what im just saying mary

Charlie: They’re nice kids, whatever beef you’ve got with your brother and the rest, I don’t see why you’ve got to involve them, is what I’m saying

Charlie: they’ve not got fuck all to do with your family drama

Ronnie: err he ll be made up dont you want me to be a boss big sister

Charlie: the kid clearly has his own issues

Charlie: I could spot codependent and toxic before you could walk, don’t lie to me, like

Ronnie: cant walk now so stall the starters or dont

Charlie: For fuck’s sake Veronica

Ronnie: you wanted the truth bitch

Charlie: You can’t show up here high

Charlie: they’ll be terrified, might call the cops

Ronnie: showing up sober is what i cant do

Charlie: don’t you think you should take a break from him

Charlie: whatever you decide to do after, you need to calm it down

Ronnie: it was you who said not to act like he werent about

Charlie: yeah, you can’t pretend it hasn’t happened obviously

Charlie: but that was before you shot him up

Ronnie: and after you told me to look after him

Ronnie: make up your fucking mind baby

Charlie: What would be preferable is you not fucking doing it

Charlie: really should go without saying

Ronnie: it fucking wouldnt

Ronnie: you cant hack living with me on gear how do you reckon itd be with me off it

Charlie: I meant dosing a kid, ‘cos there’s no way it happened the once

Charlie: and there are options for you, for free on the glorious NHS for now

Ronnie: you meant both 🖕 he werent a kid when you wanted to fuck him

Charlie: Not the same is it

Charlie: someone can be old enough for sex and not old enough for you to ruin their life

Ronnie: love ya for the flattery but his life was fucked before he found me

Charlie: was he using

Ronnie: youre the only cunt i know who reckons hes above it even B uses 💊

Charlie: yeah because there aren’t levels to it

Charlie: come off it

Charlie: the 💊s he takes aren’t on the level of smack, at all

Ronnie: mckenna aint never gonna let you daddy him you can stop pretending to give a shit

Charlie: I give a shit because you’re a mess

Charlie: more than usual

Ronnie: i dont usually have to babysit any bastard half brothers like

Charlie: you’re choosing to come tonight though

Ronnie: i owe him after that call centre bullshit

Charlie: and that’s it?

Ronnie: what the fuck else would it be

Charlie: You tell me

Ronnie: i just did

Charlie: Alright then

Ronnie: [show up so he can judge the absolute state of you IRL and have to make allowances for that and how rude you are]

Charlie: [we all know how this goes, feel his shame and judgment in how much work we have to do to cover up your behaviour]

Ronnie: [how offended and upset she would be that he's ashamed of her is killing me because how could he not be babe]

Charlie: [oh honey, like what else could we be lol]

Ronnie: [the real question is have you picked up on the jealous and intense incesty vibes yet boy or what do you think is happening lol]

Charlie: [If anyone would pick up on it, we know you and your possessive energy]

Ronnie: [yeah that was my thought cos he knows her the best and they have their own weird history and vibe so]

Charlie: [he’s obvs not going to talk to you right now because mad and also like !!! but feel free to do some if you wanna]

Ronnie: [gonna have her try and talk to him when Jamie is talking to Joe for obvious reasons lol but before we’re bleeding]

Ronnie: you can lord it you were right but lets bail yeah

Ronnie: charlie come ed soft lad

Ronnie: what you ignoring me for 🖕💔

Ronnie: fucks sake

Ronnie: [after the briefest pause because he won’t immediately reply to her just gotta go into graphic detail about that OD she had in Margate before Joe got there cos he can clearly see all the self harm that’s going on but she wouldn’t have told him about this until literally now]

Charlie: [just a look like DON’T that cannot be overstated]

Charlie: why would you do that

Ronnie: can we fucking go now

Charlie: you can

Charlie: don’t use your self-destruction to hold me hostage, you’re beyond too old for that now, Jesus fucking Christ

Ronnie: [this makes logical sense to be where Sophie pops up with the kitchen roll etc and then bathroomgate so all of that is kicking off]

Charlie: [just out here doing the most to cover for you]

Charlie: what the fuck are you doing

Ronnie: [because they are doing the most in that tiny bathroom LOL you can have a reply once she’s left]

Ronnie: leaving

Ronnie: youre welcome

Charlie: yeah, you did me such a solid there, tah

Ronnie: you too florence dead caring

Charlie: you can’t hack a kid’s dinner party?

Ronnie: fuck you

Ronnie: you know whats wrecking my head

Charlie: yet you can’t leave him alone

Charlie: how the fuck can I do anything if you won’t do that

Ronnie: you werent gonna do fuck all end of

Ronnie: youve not

Charlie: you aren’t a kid, I can’t force you to sort your life out

Ronnie: yeah cos being like you will save me

Charlie: I’m not OD’ing with strangers

Ronnie: 💔 everyone liked you better when you were using

Charlie: you did

Charlie: and that isn’t a good enough reason to be a junkie forever

Ronnie: no shit i did

Charlie: well I’m so sorry your majesty

Charlie: God forbid I sort my life for me

Ronnie: nobody but you gives a fuck you stopped snorting lines out of every twinks arse crack

Ronnie: god forbid you shut the fuck up about it and this recovery bullshit

Charlie: you clearly give a fuck, Ronnie

Ronnie: you give more of a fuck about mckennas flatmates than you do about me

Charlie: that’s bullshit

Charlie: you only came to ruin their night, you got mad when it weren’t going your way

Charlie: you expected me to help?

Ronnie: i dont give a shit about these teenagers

Ronnie: im losing it and you reckon theyre on my mind

Charlie: Is ruining his life going to fix yours

Charlie: no

Ronnie: youve never had to hack this dont fucking tell me how to

Charlie: because you’re the only one who has family issues

Charlie: fuck you, you know I’d give anything to be in your spot

Ronnie: if i could swap our places i would

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking be here doing this with him & you aint even tried to get your head round that

Charlie: in what world does it need to be like this

Ronnie: the world im living in where the fuck is your head at

Charlie: why can’t you just fucking

Charlie: cut him off or actually try

Ronnie: this is me trying

Ronnie: i didnt hang myself off the back of their bathroom door

Charlie: then you need to stop

Charlie: I’ll tell him to leave you alone now

Ronnie: hes gonna do that now without you flouncing in

Charlie: I’m still doing it, you ain’t here to stop me

Ronnie: hot but you still aint his type

Charlie: not funny

Ronnie: not joking

Charlie: don’t be tapped, I wouldn’t go anywhere near him now

Ronnie: stick your dick where you like i dont give a fuck

Charlie: yeah well I’m slightly more discerning, tah very much

Ronnie: these days

Charlie: yeah, where we live now

Charlie: I’m not trying to relive my worst years every weekend

Ronnie: yeah such a grown up youre having dinner with kids

Ronnie: save this little speech to pull the wool over the eyes of whatever wool homo youre gonna try and pull at the weekend

Charlie: I never said I was there yet

Charlie: better than the state of you

Ronnie: 🖕💔

Ronnie: state of me yeah after whats just happened youve seen fuck all yet soft cunt

Charlie: that’s the sound of me being unimpressed

Charlie: grow up

Ronnie: shut up properly by getting out of my fucking face

Charlie: I’m going out

Ronnie: with your new bezzies

Charlie: what’s it to you

Ronnie: youre not a junkie and youre still the most selfish cunt i know have a word with yourself

Charlie: because I’m not jumping to do exactly what you want, no matter how dumb or shit an idea it is

Charlie: yeah, I’m the problem, alright babe

Ronnie: you reckon you wanna be in my place so bad but you cant even hack it from there

Ronnie: since when have i gotta beg for help off you

Charlie: I wouldn’t act like a dick if anyone from my family reached out

Charlie: and what help? You haven’t asked for help, you wanted me to help you shit on some random kids to make you feel better for 10 seconds

Charlie: if you actually told me anything seriously, if you wanted help and not just someone to get high with

Ronnie: i wanted to fucking leave & cos i didnt its pure fucked now

Ronnie: i am my head is worse than before and you dont give a single shit

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: like fuck are you getting the gossip

Charlie: gossip are you serious

Charlie: ‘cos this either is and I’m the shittest mate in the world or it isn’t and it’s ‘gossip’

Ronnie: shittest mate is right weve established it

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: fuck you its your fault

Charlie: then tell me what I did bitch

Ronnie: i told you we shouldve gone

Charlie: okay, we should’ve gone

Charlie: go on

Ronnie: you were there

Charlie: yeah, and I was covering for you

Ronnie: yeah well done

Charlie: you say that like I’m meant to know what the fuck you were doing, is my point

Charlie: i was a little busy sorting your mess

Ronnie: you had a cob on over that mess and the one im in after it is loads fucking worse so theres fuck all you can sort for me now

Charlie: calm down and stop being dramatic

Charlie: just tell me and we’ll sort it

Ronnie: fuck off

Ronnie: thank christ i dont need you to calm down

Ronnie: [gonna go get messy obvs so she probably won't reply but if you wanna try go ahead hun]

Charlie: yeah, smack has served you SO well thus far

Charlie: what a great idea

Charlie: come on

Charlie: oh, the silent treatment in return, really

Charlie: very mature

Charlie: I’ll see you when I get home