#like you cant just show it w no context because that just makes him look like a total asshole

[thedissociatives]

seen hockeyfights posted that time pavel bure wiped out shane churla and oh boy do some of the people in the comments not seem to know why it happened

[aroaceleovaldez]

i'm so happy you brought back up the topic of rick's shitty writing of anyone even remotely non white / "white passing"

with that being said, do you think the shitty script he gave to annabeth in the show has to do with him just being deeply uninterested in adapting his story to include characters of color? bc it seems like once rick encounters a character that cannot be easily erased all ethnic or racial identity of to fit them into an usamerican specifically white ass narrative, he gets lost.

i just keep thinking how the only thing that "changed" about annabeth as presented in the show was her race but her plot relevance and her characterization got downgraded severely. meanwhile percy, whiter than before (wheres the mediterranean god look......................................), got half her functions. like i just look at rick in context and i wonder if he just gives so little fuck about characters of color he cant even write a decent character arc for an adaptation of a very established persona

thoughts? thank u!

I wouldn't be surprised if it's Rick (and the writer's room, since it actually seems Rick isn't all that heavily involved if much at all with the script itself based on some interviews) just has internal biases that he refuses to reflect on. It would be a consistent trend with the uptick in offensive writing in the books themselves (see: the troglodytes in general, all the Jewish kids in CHB being in Hermes cabin, etc etc). Rick seems to want to engage with these topics but refuses to actually assess how he's approaching it and his own biases while also overemphasizing his engagement with the topics. It's a kind of big talk/words vs actions type thing to me.

[this got a wee bit long so throwing it under a cut]

I was having a couple of conversations about this topic recently - one being group reading/discussion of WottG and how, allegedly, the slightly different characterizations in that book are inspired by the actors in the show. Annabeth is repeatedly and frequently described as motherly and maternal in the book, plus some other misc characterizations that make you tilt your head and go "Wait, what about Leah made you want to write Annabeth this way?" and concerns about it leaning into stereotypes. (It's also strange, because in the show Sally is MUCH more aggressive and less maternal, and this is painted like it's supposed to be a girlboss thing cause her being too soft and motherly was too weak or something? But now book Annabeth is now being described as all soft and maternal??? What. What is happening.)

Another conversation that i had with my therapist (cause we talk about pjo a lot lol) and later repeated and discussed more with other folks on discord more specifically regarding the show was a lot of discussion about the casting. Particularly casting choices and how the writing either is refusing to take casting into consideration to respectfully approach how things would be changed to avoid problems or are actively changing the script for characters in a way that is potentially if not downright offensive. Clarisse is the number one example i bring up because a lot of people say that the reason a plus sized actress wasn't cast for her was to avoid the "fat bully" trope. The thing is, there is ALSO a POC bully trope that is just as bad if not worse, so if they were actually taking offensive tropes into consideration one would expect them to avoid that too (especially since Percy was cast as a pasty white boy - which just makes it all look worse)? (Also other plus-sized characters like Dionysus and Gabe were also cast as skinny, same with Tyson. So it just seems like they don't want to cast plus-sized actors either.)

But also they're rewriting stuff that actively puts the casting decisions into worse tropes. Like hey, why is Percy (a white guy) the one who knows the "real" versions of all these myths and is expositioning them to Annabeth (a black girl), who in the books is supposed to know more than him? Why does he know better than her for some reason and have to guide her? Why is Percy teaching Annabeth about pop culture and how to be a kid? Not to mention stuff like the show constantly encouraging the viewer to doubt or distrust characters like Grover and Clarisse and Annabeth as red herrings as to who the traitor is. Plus there's no adjustments to stuff from the books like Annabeth initially being somewhat aggressive/antagonistic towards Percy, or Clarisse's aggression and bullying towards Percy to try and circumvent those being bad tropes in the contexts of the casting.

And there's an ongoing trend of characters who are antagonistic towards Percy in the books being divided into two groups: those who continue to be antagonistic towards Percy in the show, or those who are tweaked to suddenly become kinda silly-goofy and significantly less threatening. Gabe, Dionysus, Ares, and Hades are all examples of characters that should be antagonistic towards Percy but are softened SIGNIFICANTLY and played for laughs in the show. Echidna is played as a twist antagonist because she initially because she approaches the kids as very sweet and helpful. And they're all cast as white! Meanwhile other characters like Clarisse, Luke, Zeus, etc, are still antagonistic towards Percy (plus also like Annabeth initially and again, Grover being painted as a major red herring). Plus some new additions like Hermes, Mr. Lin Manuel Miranda himself, being wholly introduced into the plot when he's not supposed to appear until book 2, and all he does is sabotage the quest. Like, it's weird! That's a weird writing decision!!!! I get wanting to get that sweet sweet LMM cameo money, but, why is Hermes an antagonist here???????? he's not even supposed to be here yet!.

We also have stuff like Poseidon (who, like many of the god/major kid pairings so far seems to have been cast to match each other appearance-wise) saving the day for Percy and being this weirdly good dad, versus the books where we get the iconic "I am sorry you were born" line and Percy and Poseidon's tension is part of their arcs. Notably, Poseidon does this by ceding to Zeus, who is actively about to start a war. While Gabe is rewritten to be a total loser, Sally is MUCH more aggressive and her yelling and screaming at young Percy is supposed to be sympathetic for some reason? If Gabe were acting like Sally does in the show, he would actually be significantly more like his book counterpart! The show is making active decisions to paint these characters the way they do!

Admittedly, part of it may just be they got overzealous with their casting (not inherently a bad thing! diverse casting is good!) and then proceeded to not consider how that casting affects the way the characters are perceived. It also doesn't bode well for certain guesses we can make going further into the show - Thalia is very at odds with Percy initially. She's a very aggressive character. They fight a lot! Also Annabeth's description already implies that they're tweaking Thalia's character to be more "tough love" versus the books where she's significantly more of a bleeding heart when she first meets Annabeth. Like, I'm very happy about Thalia's casting, her actress seems amazing, but also I'm VERY concerned with how they're going to approach her character to make sure it doesn't end up wildly offensive. Athena is similar - we can guess based on casting decisions so far that they're going to try and cast Athena as similar in appearance to Annabeth/Leah. The show has already painted Athena has antagonistic and uncaring towards her daughter. If projected trends continue, these things are not gonna be great.

And the show does seem to rarely want to engage with these topics - like the scene with the cop in the train. You can tell what they wanted to address by having Annabeth be the one to confront him. The thing is they were too cowardly to actually have that conversation! They paint the kids as being unreasonable and getting unnecessarily upset when they aren't directly being accused of destroying a room, therein painting the cop as the one in the right in that situation. The implication seems to be a little bit they were going for "Oh, this is Annabeth's hubris getting them into trouble" but. that's such a bad way to do it! That's like the worst way you could have done it! (This is also a trend in books from HoO onwards, more or less - Rick tries to engage with certain topics, often using characters of specific demographics, and then proceeds to do a really bad job of it.)

There are also some aspects that are just like - in the books, Luke being a middle-class blond-haired blue-eyed pretty white boy is relevant! Because the fact that he has privilege from that particularly in how he's perceived is part of how he came to where he is and why he acts the way he does. Percy not having those same privileges, and having aspects like constantly inherently being labeled as a trouble-maker just based on his atypical (neurodivergent) behavior and coming from a lower socioeconomical background play heavily into his character!!! Percy being both a poor and disabled kid (and implied potentially POC) plays DIRECTLY into why he feels so strongly about standing up for other disenfranchised kids (in SoM, explicitly including other disabled kids and kids of color). It directly relates to his experiences and standing up for kids who are like him because he didn't have that, versus Luke whose perceptions and goals are very self-oriented. Now, in the show, we've essentially swapped Percy and Luke's appearances, and that paints a very different narrative. And that's important to acknowledge!

[pumpkinsy0]

This is so simple so I'm not sure how many you can really do with this but hcs for Pony dragging curly to the movies? I feel like it would be like a fairly big deal because in the book Ponyboy mentions not liking going to the movies with people.

(I could just imagine Soda finding out and being shocked that CURLY got an invite to the movies with Pony before him)

anon do NOT worry i love simple hcs those r some of my favs to make

OK LOOK A LIL CONTEXT im gonna make them watch that french movie eyes without a face bc it was a french movie first and then after that it was translated to english

•chances r it was right after school, pony was thinking curlys energy may be a lil more calmer then, and he was HALF right

•now WHY is he specifically asking curly to go w him???bc this french theater is showing eyes without a face BUT its in french so he needs someone to translate and he KNOWWWSSSS curly knows kreyòl and french so curly can just watch it w him and translate it

•curly would joke that the world must be playing a prank on him bc THEE???? ponyboy asking him?????to the MOVIES????? crazy world we live in

•wasnt until pony said it was a horror movie and darry gave him money for snacks that curly said he was joining in, he loves horror movies

•curlys the guy who keeps making lil comments during the movie, like at least hes TRYING to shut up but he needs to say SOMETHING

•pony was a lil annoyed but yknow what, he asked for it, thats all on him this time, and curly taking his time to watch it so he can tell pony wtf was going on later, so he cant be mean to him

•pony can b annoyed all he wants, he does genuinely appreciate curly coming along, and on top of that he knew some socs would b there so curly was there as backup even if he wasnt rlly paying attention

•curly would half be paying half attention to the movie, hes not moving around too much and annoying the ppl around them bc like i said, its after school, but he is sighing, looking everywhere else around the theater, touching pony etc etc

•he did that shit where u pretend to yawn and u put ur arm around ur date, there is not one universe where curly doesnt do that

•they left that movie theater, pony asked curly to translate that shit and curlys summarization was so???? like he went on several different tangents just to explain one point and he was gettin pony confused😭

•and yknow what anon ur so right about soda bein a lil upset pony aint bring him, they got home a lil late, soda asked where he was and pony told him and he was quite jealous that pony asked curly before him BUT TO BE FAIRRR, curly is technically a native french speaker it was only natural for pony to ask him first

[queer-reader-07]

op could you elaborate on the she/her muriel thing. because i totally get what you mean but i find it so hard to articulate why... its just like. mmmmm. canon they/them character. but you wont respect their prns. but then again i enjoy when people get genderwierd w the ineffable spouses. would you respect my prns if you cant even respect a fictional character. is that the same thing. idk.

hi anon! i'll try best to elaborate, but apologies in advance if it comes off a bit... intense?

to give some context to my words:

i am nonbinary

i am afab

my pronouns are they/them

most everyone with the exception of close friends and people on the internet misgender me with she/her pronouns because they perceive me as a woman.

i think the root of it for me is that muriel has no experience interacting with earth, let alone humans, before they're sent down to be Inspector Constable. and because they have no experience with humans, they most definitely have very little context for the human construct that is gender. muriel's pronouns are they/them because those are the default gender neutral pronouns in english. muriel (like the other angels and demons) is referred to with they/them pronouns because, for all intents and purposes, they don't have gender.

whereas aziraphale and crowley (and even gabriel to a certain extent) have interfaced with humanity enough to have developed some level of understanding regarding gender, and possibly even an understanding of what they want their gender to be/be perceived as.

additionally, crowley and aziraphale play with gender in a way that feels very intentional to me.

crowley has canonically, in the show, presented femme. meta writers far more skilled than me have examined how, during the crucifixion scene, crowley is very obviously dressed more like the women in the background than the men. and it's not just in the historical flashbacks that we see crowley's genderfuckery. his modern look is comprised of a combination of femme and masc pieces. he wears a woman's cut waistcoat and his "11 years ago" look features women's sunglasses. all while inhabiting a decidedly man-shaped body.

i'm also just going to remind the audience that crowley outright denies being "a lad" in season 2. he straight up told us he's not A Dude.

aziraphale's genderfuckery is definitely less obvious and some might say debatable. that being said, i would make the argument that aziraphale's tendency to dress and present in a way that results in him being almost universally perceived as not only A Gay Man, but an effeminate gay man at that, is a quintessential example of gender as performance. and i do believe that aziraphale is making a very conscious and deliberate choice to present as a gay man. for fuck's sake he calls himself THE Southern Pansy, he knows what he's doing.

also, i know it didn't actually happen, but we almost got both of them presenting femme in the 60s so like. there's that too.

so, to me, it's ok to fuck around with crowley and aziraphale's genders in fanfic and art and the like because they do so canonically. the book makes it very clear that they are "man-shaped" but not necessarily men, ie they have chosen bodies that are perceived as being A Gender but that doesn't mean they technically are.

whereas muriel does not. muriel doesn't have a concept of gender because they haven't been on earth or around humans long enough to develop one. they are only ever referred to with gender neutral language. so it just feels really gross to me when people choose to she/her them. because to me it feels like saying "well this body that appears woman-shaped to me must mean they are a woman" which is a sentiment i, unfortunately, know all too well.

muriel is a character that is canonically referred to with they/them pronouns, on a major TV show on a major streaming platform no less. so it really fucking sucks to see people disregard that because they "can't remember to they/them muriel" or because they "seem like they use she/her."

to put it bluntly, every single argument i've ever read in favor of she/her-ing muriel has boiled down to "i just can't be bothered to remember they use they/them" and if you can't use a fictional characters pronouns correctly then i have zero faith you can use a real person's pronouns correctly. all i hear when i read those arguments is "i can't be fucked to do the bare minimum of gendering trans people correctly."

and lastly, i know it's genderfuckery when people she/her aziraphale and crowley because they're "man shaped" in the book and played by male actors in the show. but i don't have much faith that it's genderfuckery when people she/her muriel because i can almost guarentee it happens for no other reason than the fact that Quelin Sepulveda is a woman.

[sketching-shark]

Man, zhu bajie n tang sanzang had to b up there w swk about their mischaracterization n hated in lmk fandom

I have never seen so much mishandling as i seen with those three characters 😭😭(like bro i get that the most noticeable arc that ppl retain is the white bone spirit arc bc of OSP BUT THEY DIDNT STUCK TO THAT CHARACTERISTICS IN THE LATER ARCS LIKE CMON NOW—bajie couldn’t even lie about the dragon piss medicine in a later arc, what makes yall think he’s always a fantastic liar. Theres some benefit to his lying but they also backfire. BAJIE DO END UP LIKING EVERYONE LIKE HE REFER TO SWK AS ELDER BROTHER!<- no man could ever live up to the wonder of zhu wuneng. He just sweet n he does get a fantastic arc in the novel!

Tang sanzang does have some(albeit rare moments where hes nice but his asshoole moments sometimes intertwined) where hes like “yea my disciples r greats but theyre mad ugly.” Or that he gets better at having more trust in his disciples besides zhu wuneng. Even if its followed by hella traumatizing moments that no human person would remain sane like that. <hes just barely holding on by his faith, his mission and his disciples. Not his horse bc he cant hold on to save his life but that character arc where he DIDNT FELL OFF THOO!>

Monkie Kid spoilers below

Hmmm I know about the Sun Wukong & Tang Sanzang dunking but is that happening with Zhu Bajie too? Have to say I find that a little surprising given that (if memory serves correctly) Monkie Kid did say Zhu Bajie's main fault (well besides the whole being a man-eating yaoguai thing) was being stubborn, but then lego Patriarch Subodhi said he became one of the hardest workers of the pilgrimage. I guess I was under the impression that people were more light on their criticisms and thoughts about Zhu Bajie, but maybe that's just because he doesn't seem to be a point of great interest in the lego show fandom lol.

Kind of funny story anon but I've been vicariously growing in awareness on how much Zhu Bajie is loved in China through @antidotefortheawkward's posts about the pigman. And yeah, I can see that being in large part because Xiyouji in its totality does give a very different impression of who these characters are and where they end up than a cartoony summary can provide. As a number of people on this site have noted for example, the White Bone Demon Arc can be understood in a much more complex light than "Tang Sanzang & Zhu Bajie hurt poor monkey for nothing" when placed in the context of it being more near the beginning of the journey when the pilgrims were still grating against each other a lot & it happening very soon after the whole debacle with the Ginseng fruit tree. Here after all you can see how the monk has a recent history of getting into serious trouble from the monkey lying and being quick to destruction, so he would be primed to not believe SWK, not to mention he does hesitate to use the headband against SWK more than many give him credit for here. And YEAH given all the things they go through together I am more willing to accept a Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie enemies to friends arc than that put on many another character.

Also LMAOOOOO Tang Sanzang DOES seem to have quite a few lines where he tries to comfort terrified individuals by telling them that the pilgrims are good people even with their rancid looks (ugly pilgrim rights <3). And oh dang anon you are so right about how even if Tang Sanzang is much more of a static character in comparison to SWK it's kind of a shame more attention isn't given to the series of horrifying events he goes through and what effect that would have on him so that he gets a little more depth than "weepy monk who's mean to the Monkey King & falls off his dragon horse" in the popular western imagination. But then again I can understand why the monk's trauma is largely downplayed in western cartoony retellings, given that said lighthearted cartoony retellings probably wouldn't be the best medium to even touch on stuff like human butchery, death threats, sexual assault, and the consequences thereof.

[cartmandolly-old]

(crazy)

cartman is literally the most complex and multitalented character in south park and i dont get most of the people who completely disregard him. if you dont want to see him, dont watch idk? south park is meant to be offensive and it’s okay if you get offended, thats the point. thats also the fun to be had with eric cartman’s character.

but accusing him of homophobic or would be transphobic? did we watch the same show??? cartmans went on a ‘date’ with his other cupid personality after it convinced him there’s nothing wrong w gayness n he never misgendered any character. he regularly crossdresses too. he had giant boobs willingly ffs he’s so queer you shld be able to taste the rainbow through the screen

the reason he’s so repressed and bigoted toward jews is legit his mother. ppl forget that cartman was not raised on /pol/, he was raised with /pol/ rhetoric being spewed by his mother and legit the only evidence against it is that cartman took her to see the passion of the christ to ‘prove’ jews were horrible, when this is easier read as (given context) him being excited to share something with his mother because it agrees with her on jews. interesting to note that liane has been discriminatory toward kyle as well, but acts surprised when cartman is discriminatory toward shelia.

(also i feel like it’s too late into the show to have his influences come from an outside source like the internet, as they do for most kids his age modernly. south park started during the internet’s adolescence, it’s all his mother)

i feel liane being a key factor in cartman’s behaviour is overlooked because she is a mother. i love liane and eric for the evil characters they are, so don’t get me wrong, but you cant really deny that she’s often seen as one of the greats in south parenting because she’s a motherly figure. if you think randy is the worst, spend a few minutes looking over liane. (sharon is actually the best btw)

to the talented part, even in earlier seasons you see cartman being a camera nerd. he’s got very impressive camera skills for Anyone, even outside his age group. i know this because i went to camera classes, and because you can see the south park real estate agents asking how he even got such a nice photo. 

when i first started this blog, i reblogged a post highlighting cartmans musical talents saying he could make a good popstar, and no matter how far i get into cartman brainrot, i still agree. cartman can easily read sheet music and knows his way around a piano, and you can see his dedication to music in his groups fingerbang and faith+1. even if it was just to get the million dollars whatever, if he had no heart for music he likely wouldve had different ideas or been way less inspired.

yeah none of this really matters because its just silly old south park but it matters to me that i feel intellectual about the most evil character on television. i LOVE EVIL CARTMAN. i hope he’s evil forever. i just like him a bit much ykno <3

[kenonade]

stella maris reading log #1

its about damn time i start noting down how i feel when i read what i read. hell yeah. hopefully this makes me a better writer.

spoilers not really about the plot (bc honestly is there even a plot in the sense of a plot) but more about the language below the cut woooooo

tldr: book cool. writing insane. wtf. wtf. wtf. head ouchie. 越级打怪的后果就是头晕脑转 (dizziness is the consequence of attempting to read beyond my level). ooga booga man talk abt english

reading stella maris is so interesting because im just sitting here wondering like. how the FUCK did mccarthy accumulate all this knowledge about a variety of very distinct fields. my brain hurts. this is so much information. im learning nothing and learning everything at the same time. how the man managed to learn all this stuff and how he managed to put it together like this puzzle me equally intensely. its one thing to acquire knowledge. its a whole other thing to convey it in language so dense with information but also character. like, not to be that guy, but when osc does his infodumps i think to myself okay old man lets get you to bed. every time alicia opens her mouth i confront my intellectual inferiority and contemplate the meaning of life because it is alicia talking.

not to mention what the FUCK alicia. if only you’d have KNOWN. EUGH. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

my head hurts. the reason why im writing instead of reading is because ive already reached my reading breaking point where my eyes glaze over and the words go in one and out the other. its only been two hours. difficult language i can handle fine, verbosity is fine, i inhaled the ender stuff and only took breaks when osc pissed me off, but stella maris is information overload in a way that i’ve never experienced before. im like, texting three separate people all the time. oh i should vet this w my math guy. i need to show this to my psych classmate. this has to go to my orthopedics bestie.

i started this book saw the page number and went oh sure. its half the length of the passenger. the style means that it’ll contain less words overall too. i should be able to finish this on a three hour hsr ride. WRONG. i CANT. it’s TOO DIFFICULT. im running into roadblocks very similar to what i felt when i read the passenger: dont know place/name/context/big word. except im finding stella maris to be even more difficult because unlike some nautical jargon or random place in the midwestern usa that i can just look up, i cant. i think its impossible to even begin to comprehend all this math.

that’s definitely part of the charm of stella maris. the format of audio transcripts creates a much more intimate connection between the characters and the reader. the target demographic of this novel, though niche, is definitely not as niche as to comprise only of genius mathematicians with a burning passion for music and a hatred of psychology. the reader might be a master in one of these fields, but alicia outsmarts them in it along with all others. viewed through this lens, the reader is the doctor. the reader is the one who converses with alicia, trying their best to piece together a mind that is so extraordinarily genius and extraordinarily tormented. it’s a position of emotional significance. the reader sits through these audio recordings because they want to understand alicia. and to understand alicia is to love her. (this is a certified when i truly understand my enemy i love him moment)

all of that sits in stark contrast to western’s narration in the passenger.

i wrote an entire paragraph but tumblr fucking ate it. im pissed. its ok. for love i’ll write it again.

western’s narration is detached. it’s impersonal. mccarthy’s clinical and direct use of language alienates the viewer and prevents the formation of any sincere rapport, allowing only mild sympathy for western’s continued suffering. the reader is merely an observer, piecing together the life of a strange, curious creature through inference and deduction. nor is the reader meant to empathize with him. he’s the one who chose to abandon alicia, the one reckless enough to chose race car driving over his degree, and therefore the one who shoulders alone the responsibility of alicia’s death—or so he thinks. in a sense, because western is comparatively lucid, the detached narration becomes almost a punishment for the guilt he’s assigned to himself. he’s not the one in the mental asylum, afterall.

its interesting to me how mccarthy presents this duo to the audience. i have many Thoughts on alicia’s sexuality and stuff but i should finish the book before i synthesize those thoughts. anyway. thanks for reading 👍

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

I think it is kind of wild that you were able to look into the mirror and see yourself (Kurt self) in your dream, because that is one of the common triggers in a dream that let someone know they're in a dream (or lucid dreaming) because mirrors often don't show a reflection :x

*skellington voice* but WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAN? D:<

See this is what im saying like sometimes i feel the powers at Be are trying to make sure ei can never attain that lucid dreaming state as i would probably try to live in it forever.. Because i have heard this about mirrors yet as i said my reflection is always a huge part of my dreams. Also heard that technology doesnt work in dreams/u cant look at screens which is untrue for me i am always texting and calling ppl in my dreams. i still remember this vivid dream from 2020 where i was facetiming bladee and he told me yung lean died and we were crying lol. I rly do wonder why its different for me!

also this is kinda corny dont making fun of me but. truth is i am always talking to kurts angel and inviting him to play w me i know that mite sound insane but. i just feel rly sad that all his old friends/family r rich LA douchebags now and i get worried he is lonely so i try to put it out there that if he ever wants to hang out w me while im drawing or playing guitar i welcome him.. because he probably misses doing that stuff alone in his room..i know i wouuld. And im lonely too. So not gonna lie i guess the dream did make me wonder if that was his way of showing me he is there and maybe like..showing how he wishes he cld thank people for still caring 😢 yeah it rly shocked me. i didnt wana include this context writing about it yesterday cus i feel like its kinda revealing of how woo-woo i am but hey..isnt that what the PMD9 experience is all about ? ! <333

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

hiiii really enjoyed your chenglingposting i was thinking about how sometimes the kids in adult stories function as a sort of barometer for optimism about the future in their views and options in life... obviously the alliance wants to continue the cycle of antagonizing and vengeance and conflict with the veneer of "honor" but. zcl gets to choose not to. its been a while since I either read or watched, do you know if zcl was ever onboard with actually wanting vengeance or if that was just being pushed on him? Obv its not super in line w his personality but grief could be a factor. i just thought it'd make a lot of sense if he changed his mind on that due to the influence of wenzhou and how they prioritize enjoying life w your people and following your own path over expectations. priest really took one more chance to emphasize breaking cycles/"if it sucks hit the bricks"

hi!! omg!!! thank you and im glad you enjoyed it! honestly this is a question i have been thinking about since at least two rereads ago. the show and the novel are handling this issue of zcl picking up his legacy / giving in to external expectations / finding out what he really wants in life a little differently, i think, as befitting of what they both focus on. ive said in my chenglingpost that the show is about legacy and inheritance in my eyes, while the novel is about martial arts and freedom of choice. obvs freedom of choice is a high priority in word of honor as well, but word of honor seems to have an overarching look, kind of focusing on the big picture and what a generation / a community needs rather than a few individuals, while the novel focuses exclusively on wenzhou and their little group and seems to handle the rest of the themes in priest's usual style. the show is about something "grand", the novel is about the mundane, almost boring human experience. martial arts play a bigger role in the latter too because they are a stand-in for many things that are hard to grasp, like autonomy. in chengling's context, martial arts are irrevocably linked with seeking revenge. i think that is specifically in the novel the case, not so much in the show. in the show seeking revenge is pushed onto him by others as well as inheriting his sect's legacy and becoming worthy of being his father's son. in the novel, the idea of seeking revenge is first presented to him by gu xiang, and it is actually this huge contrast to how others treat him because others "generously" offer to take revenge for him, while gu xiang tells him he can do that himself. we see with wen kexing that getting revenge does not make u happy. it gives u closure but it does not make u happy. i think that is something chengling learns during the novel. he gets closure in the end but it does not look the way he had imagined it would. i think he imagined himself to get super strong and then single-handedly slay his foes. yknow, as u often see in wuxia and as wen kexing literally does. then he starts learning martial arts and realizes getting super strong is actually not that easy, and this chasm between what he expects of himself and what he is able to achieve gets wider and wider and he falls into depression spirals, because to chengling, seeking revenge was taking ownership of his life and his trauma, and what use does he have when he cant even do that? that is the path wen kexing walks and it hollowed him out and it would have him kill himself if he hadnt met zhou zishu; wen kexing viewed himself as an instrument for a very long time rather than as someone deserving of having his own life. so obvs, that path is rubbish by itself (wkx gets his revenge and his closure and his life, good for him!) and its far too much for a kid. and i think, that is what chengling learns here: he only needs to do as much as he can, only bite off what he can chew, and the rest should not be his concern. and there really turns out to be a way to get everything he needs without walking the same path as wen kexing, as the novel proves, because wen kexing had nobody when he was in the same situation while trying to survive the valley, while chengling has wenzhou who guide him and shield him and love him. (crying myself into a huddle over wen kexing and chengling and them being foils of each other.) so in that sense youre already putting it into words. chengling seems to have changed his mind over the course of the novel, he doesnt have that same outlook on vengeance as he as in the start. i think thats different for the show. in the show, there is this weighing of the concept of revenge against the concept of getting justice, and what both these things do and require of a person and what they can offer u as an individual, but also u as a collective, in the long run. they are seen as two different things and are explored and qestioned individually. i think that can be seen in the conflict with chengling and all these expectations everyone has of him and how he handles that.

[xxxnecrotica]

im not done with ch3 but it has been CRAAAZZYYY so far dont even get me started with the hospital scene but lets talk about the fair scenes rn and what happened after the fair

this post will be very long and rambling w/ no context cus i dont have anyone who also plays this game </3 this is my virtual diary after all anyways

recently i cant stop looking obsessively at lighting in scenes, how characters are lit (or not lit, i guess) so now i cant stop thinking about how mark is sitting in the light (mentioned by cathy that he looks like hes glowing, makes sense because hes really happy today) and meanwhile cathy is in the shadows (she's sad, bittersweet)

also one of the shadows on cathy's face looks like she has a black eye/bruise?? idk if thats just me?? is that a reference to a bad home life perhaps, i think it would make sense bc she has the freedom to stay out late as if her parents dont care (and believe me filo parents are not THAT lenient lmao), and also when she said she likes mark's house because its quiet that night, and mark says its SUPPOSED TO BE quiet at night and cathy looked nervous for a bit... idk maybe im looking too much into it. after all, maybe her parents do trust mark because they've been friends for a while. IDK. BUT WHAT IF SHE DOES HAVE A BAD HOME LIFE? SHE'S THE HAPPY CHEERFUL SILLY CHARACTER TROPE SO WHAT IF—

ahem anyway other things that have me crazy: nicole opening up about being a victim of the ruling. talking about how for a year she was only getting by, like the world nearly ended and all that... augh. i was talking about this game to my mom and she said that the ruling can be compared to covid (esp with how the gov reacted to the pandemic... lmao) and like god i understand her. looking at the ruling in the context of covid makes it really interesting tbh and makes a lot of sense anyway

also wait did nicole lose her sibling or whatever in the ruling?? cus like ... the kid in the photo frame who is obviously Not Present rn, the shattered photo frame... hmmmm someone definitely died lol

i feel cathys heartache sm </3 like when she'd talk about change and stuff, how she loves that the park never changes... meanwhile her 2 friends are almost outpacing her or outgrowing her, ridel is busy with his photography gigs and mark is slowly coming out of his shell, she obv feels like she's falling behind or at least she's distressed that it feels like everyone around her is changing and she wants to cling to the things that don't change. BECAUSE CHANGE IS SCARY I GET YOU CATHY BRO I WANT TO THROW HANDS AT MARK FOR BEING SUCH A DICKHEAD...

LIKE HOW DARE MARK ABANDON CATHY LIKE NOTHING? GO ON A FERRIS WHEEL RIDE WITH NICOLE, HANG OUT WITH HER, COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT CATHY?? AND THEN JUST KEEP TEXTING NICOLE WHILE CATHY IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AT HIS HOUSE COMPLETELY IGNORING HER??????? ugh i was also so annoyed at mark when he was at nicoles house and barely showed any remorse for snooping through her stuff, barely said anything barely apologized and looked so smug when her mom invited him to dinner... mf you are invading her private space and invading her life w/o her consent? why are you so happy about that? idc if they become friends later that literally turned me off. i love mark as a protag but those moments were so EUEUGHH

anyway speaking of the ferris wheel!! i like to think the ferris wheel symbolizes how he feels about life, he plays it safe every day, only does what he knows he can do, probably perceives danger where there actually isnt so he has an excuse not to do something... and i guess nicole is the driving force that will help bring him out of that, just like with the ferris wheel

uh i dont think i have any more thoughts to share about that. mark always remember bros before hoes smfh

[missunderstood-with-ideas]

Just cuz he’s in a cult don’t make him a bad dude. He has morals and class.

The industry just don’t like him cuz he is one of the few that pulled themselves up to stardom from poverty.

All these people like “why isn’t Tom using his platform to acknowledge or address all this shit” y’all…he’s in a fucking cult that has been proven to control their members access to internet. He probably *cant*. Besides promoting his movies he don’t have access to internet or social media.

He only has himself, and he knows his name matters. He personally-personally went to CAA and tell them that they are wrong and he’s backing his agent up and let her keep her job w him. That is bare minimum but is some how more than what other actors (that one kid handing out stickers saying genocide is sexy) are doing in the face of this conflict

The industry just hates this guy. Becides the cult stuff (I’m not going to defend that he’s in way to deep but also do remember that when told about Xenu he ran away. A ex member was there that day he was told about the alien shit and he told the people “what the fuck is this sci-fi bullshit” and then ran to London with his family and unofficially left the cult for 3 whole years. Unfortunately it was the Movie Eye wide shut which if you know what the director put Tom and Nicole though… anyway at the end of filming the cult tracked him down and stalked/harassed him till he rejoined. Tom did try to leave! Unfortunately he went to the wrong director for safety. But after that yes the cult is bad.)

The journalists hate this guy! They constantly constantly take things out of context to twist him into an awful person (again not included cult stuff)

Ex: the women from MI2 who said “Tom is to intense for me he scared me.” The full quote is “the MI set was very intense and stressful, Woo during this one scene (on the balcony) didn’t know what he wanted and refused to speak to Tom and I about what he was looking for. Tom was frustrated, this movie is his baby and Woo was just pretending to not Speak English. He was trying to coach me though the scene about what Tom was looking for. He even played my character for a while to show me what he wanted. But it was hard and stressful and Tom was just getting more and more anxious about getting the scene to work as he and Woo wanted. So when they offered me to come back I said no because It was a very stressful environment” And it was just that one scene she says later that after that hurtle was jumped he relaxed and was an amazing guy

And then the other actors

Alec Baldwin: “he’s a control freak I don’t want to work w him again.” - full quote:“he’s just very intense and is a perfectionist for his roles, I’m not jealous of what stress he puts himself into to be perfect in his roles”

And the that Outsider actor who called him insane the full quote was “when he heard that we didn’t get our own room he was ballistic. I don’t blame him though like we were both sweating and tired after what the director put us through and it wasn’t even room we were in cots. And I just remember think yeah, this is how you act when you make it big.”

Like Jesus the tabs are painting Tom to be a fucking villain who is hated by everyone. I think that if Tom was an actual psycho (marriage and cult excluded because idk enough about that) there would be a lot of truthful quotes and not cut out and twisted ones.

All people wanna do is focus on the cult and not the genuine good or moral things Tom does.

“I can’t believe Tom Cruise of all people would stand up for his agent, a Muslim Libyan-American woman, who was being publicly blacklisted for her support of Palestine and calling out the ongoing genocide, including making a rare in-person appearance to CAA headquarters in LA to express his support for her. What a strange person who can ever guess what opinions he will have.”

Look. I’ve studied Tom Cruise a lot. One could even call me a Cruisologist. (Not to be confused with. Well.) And, it’s actually really easy to predict Tom Cruise’s opinion on something. The tricky part is whether it will be made public in a timely manner or not and, if it’s made public at all, will it be a lede buried in favor of pushing a narrative sold on background by a studio exec he pissed off because he didn’t roll over and take their bullshit.

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually

[prettyboykatsuki]

I know this question feels like redundant considering your whOLE account purpose😭 but like if you had to be specific, how do you think katsuki acts with an s/o. Like how does he react to them on a day to day, what does he do. This might sound like a really dumb question 💀

it’s not dumb LMAO i feel the context in which i speak about bakugo is so.. nonsensical? or something that i’ve never rlly gone into like how he really acts with his partner LMAO 

- love language is acts of service but ALSO words of affirmation for him. needs to be told verbally about things and your needs, really big on asking for things. he’s not a mind-reader and he’s not too arrogant to learn. 

- little spoon most of the time im sorry i cant change my mind on this it just makes sense to me. he’ll hold you and stuff but he is Small Spoon mostly. 

- shows up at your job unannounced 24/7 bc he’s annoying. u tell him ur on break and he is hustling with lunch and kisses he’s clingy as shit. why do u need a job anyway  

- he be pickin fights on purpose. not anything serious and never too much but he likes to get you a lil hot cause it turns him on. just be doing bullshit bc of it. 

- he helps pick pictures of you for your insta and he’s only in them but on some private shit LOL it’s sexy fr. like it’ll be just him from the back down but his hand on your waist or something. when u post the pic he only comments some shit like “get home soon,” pls it’s so sexy 

- sunday nights he is unavailable and so are you. he dedicates that day to spending time with you - normally cooking a big sunday meal that takes all day and makes the house smell great. yall watch movies and eat and laze around that is his fave 

- he likes when ur his mini me so if u start copying him hes gonna be like “u wanna be me so bad huh” but he LOVESS IT 

- he gets mad at you cause he misses you so much on the job. PLEASE it’s so funny 

- listens to u talk sm. like he loves hearing u talk so he’ll ask random bs to hear ur voice. cute asf 

- wears his towel too low on his hips bc he knows it flusters U LMAO

- when ur home in the mornings and you look extra sleepy, he’ll hold your face n brush ur teeth for u gently.and does his skin care w u. uses ur products like the fiend he is 

- touchy. hands on ur ass at all times and no he doesn’t care if it’s little or big or medium or flat he’s gonna hold it regardless. 

- LOWKEY h-word 24/7. lowkey lowkey lowkey but like. yeah LMAO 

- facetime 24/7 but only if its u. the bakusquad been trying for decades but he hates ft w anyone else LMAO.

- lets u steal his good pens because he loves u 

[diamondcitydarlin]

okay idk here are my MoM takes, such as they are. I honestly found most of the film to be forgettable to the point that I don't recall a lot of what happened, but then I don't think a lot actually happened, at least plotwise. Michael W*ldron and his yt male mediocrity strike again

yes, visually it's a very stunning movie. if that's literally all you're looking for in a film then I guess this is for you. although that said, there are some weird transitions between scenes I still don't understand creatively but whatever, nitpicking.

people keep likening this to a horror because of the dark visuals and occasional jumpscares, but I'd say that's about where the parallel to the horror genre starts and stops. also, the whole 'horror' thing relies on Wanda being the slasher monster which...is cool in a way? But also a pretty misogynistic take on how a female character processes her grief, but I'd expect nothing less from Michael. anyway, it's not really horror, just a film with creepy visuals.

the pacing is awful. the writing as a whole is awful. Scenes drag on longer than they should, there's little to no build up of any character though after a certain point it's clear we're supposed to care about certain characters and their dynamics together but it's like wait when did you give me a reason? there's very little explanation for anything, things just sort of -happen- and rely on the viewer caring more about how they look then why they're happening in the first place. oddly, the writing relies a great deal on the audience having seen Wandavision beforehand despite taking very little of the show into account for anything else.

Michael's very male-centric POV, early 00's style of writing is ofc the defining tone of the script. While this is kind of a dual Wanda and Dr. Strange piece (SORT OF) all of the narrative sympathy and build up is devoted solely to Stephen. We're supposed to feel SO BAD for him as he corners his ex-gf at her wedding to talk about their past relationship even as she is visibly uncomfortable and says as much, and then later he's still pushing his feelings towards an alt-universe version of her but at least then she's just like 'ok thanks lol'. When the Illuminati tell him every Dr. Strange is evil including him the narrative frames it as an obvious lie because clearly Stephen is much more nuanced than that; Wanda though, 100% evil, no justification for anything SHe does EVER. It's the double-standard in who gets to be a sympathetic character and who doesn't for me. Very game of thrones lol. Also the fact that Wanda is given no more narrative motivation to go full evil than 'I AM A MOTHER I HAVE CHILDREN' which, yes, I understand is a big part of her character in any context but you cant tell me wandavision didn't manage to make her character and motivations more nuanced where this film didn't even try. The writing literally relies on 'sad woman = evil' and nothing else. I mean, it's pretty clear to me there was an avenue here to have Stephen and Wanda commiserate and find some comfort from each other in their shared issues maybe, but then we wouldn't have woman = bad and thus a scary monster villain

Lightspeed kill your gays happens in a scene that could be easily edited out for homophobic markets, but who is surprised?

The people who seem to watch marvel solely to make fun of fans are delighted that all the new characters who got introduced were quickly killed off bc 'lol stupid blorbo cameo' but like, that doesn't make it a good narrative choice or worth anyone's time at the end of the day. Think of how that time could've been spent giving this film an ounce of narrative depth instead

As far as I'm concerned the only good parts were Professor X's. Only he shows Wanda any kind of compassion, and the scene where he enters her mind and sees the desolation of her grief- IT IS THE ONLY TIME WANDA IS ALLOWED DEPTH OUTSIDE OF EVIL CRAZY LADY. When he tries to help her from the rubble...when he tells Stephen he believes people are more than just their past misdeeds. Idk. Wish there could have been more of that.

My main thing is, I really wish Marvel would hire writers that can put together a self-contained screenplay for these films. It's not impossible; it certainly wasn't impossible here. I'm of the opinion that these films would be stronger if they could stand on their own, if the hour and a half, two hour plot could be a self-contained, tight story that still encompasses the plot points they need to hit going forward. Something that randos not familiar with the marvel universe would still enjoy. It's not difficult, it really isn't. Because yeah, sure, as part of the big multiverse hyping everyone's into this film, and I could be wrong, but I just don't see this movie having the staying power over time that it could have. I don't see anyone, five years from now, being like "omg MoM is one of my fave films ever!!" because outside of the main overarching plot and visuals, it's pretty aimless and pointless. It's pretty aimless regardless of the main plot, tbh.

I ofc realize too that the amount of hype given to this film might be part of what makes the finished product such a disappointment, but I'm certain I would've found it boring and poorly written regardless of how much it was hyped up. It's definitely a let down after Wandavision, why on EARTH didn't they at least use some of THOSE writers??

Anyway, once again moving back into my lifelong 'Marvel probably isn't for me' position because, as per usual, the narrative focus and sympathy has to be devoted to whoever the main yt cishet male character is while everyone else is reduced to villain, sidekick or disposable POC/queer person. Makes the scope of superhero media very limiting.

[bendarius]

i started writing this benrius coleadership analysis a month ago and i finally deem it finished after weeks of not looking at it it so here we go

So as we all know their arcs in s1 start of completely on opposite ends. ben is less than psyched to be there while this is darius’ dream. however ben ends up stepping up during the train moment inspired by darius. they go through their struggles in s2; darius w leadership and ben w himself/survival. beginning of s3 they get brought together and are shown sadness leaving jurassic world because of their individual connection to it: darius w his dad through dinosaurs, and ben’s connection to himself through bumpy/island.

s3 has darius fighting to keep ben by their side bc he cant lose ben again bc that’s threatening his promise that he made to get everyone out safely. meanwhile darius’ attempts to do so threaten ben’s own selfhood. their interests are at a standstill both wanting to do what’s best for ben and having different ideas of such. bc of ben’s specific past that darius still feels guilt for is why he’s so unwilling to let ben go again, that much is obvious. ben is the only one able to absolve darius of the guilt in a deeper conversation than the one we got at their reunion, reassuring that he doesn’t blame darius and loves darius. Now that’s important bc even though the others have tried to remind darius that he’s not at fault for ben this was the only one that was able to get through to him fully. brooklynn did remind darius in s2 and sure; bc its ben himself that he’s able to say “i’m the person you dropped and i’m telling you it’s not your fault” but ben makes sure to not only absolve him of that guilt but to remind darius of his doings and how he’s always tried to protect him—to protect everyone (He’s branching out from his specific instance) they couldve stopped there but we got the “I love you bud” which! the bud is important so i don’t want to take it out of context but i just find it so prominent that ben decides to tell him That instead of a “you’re amazing” like. it’s coming from ben’s feelings. “quite a pair” from darius like theyre partners on equal ground (which they are! co-leaders.) anyways.

through the seasons we get shoulder touching. lots of it. it means reassurance from darius, worry from ben in s1; but in s3 the Amount of reassuring shoulder touches we get. they begin to be able to communicate support through this without words. while i did talk abt their arcs entwining from s1, s3 really shows the equal level they get to be on by being able to comfort one another. the thing that differentiates them from the other campers is ben being the cause of darius’ guilt which means he’s the only one able to help darius w that specifically. having ben there is its own comfort. darius feeling down after the historical jurassic park structure was destroyed was pleasantly surprised by a ben comfort shoulder touch. this doesn’t stop in s4; after ben’s speech, ben isn’t sure if it worked and while darius is going through his own disappointment, he takes the time to give some reassurance to ben. even when darius doesn’t know what to say after they think brooklynn and kenji are gone (and ben pulls away, knowing there’s nothing to say. damn his self blame. will get into that in a moment) there’s an attempt. after darius’ love for dinos cause them to miss the plane again, ben touches his shoulder to tell him non-verbally “hey. nothing can be said rn” and as this post explained so well, gives the other campers space from darius. i am willing to bet a convo takes place on the walk there with ben trying to absolve darius of guilt of “holding everyone back” (sound familiar? ben being tired of holding everyone back in s1) despite it being the right thing. ben can understand darius bc of their connections to dinosaurs thats one big similarity of their arcs and why they work so well together along w how darius has dino knowledge and ben w island knowledge. both of them shielding others behind them w their arms at one point showing their inherent need to protect others bc of this advantage of knowledge they have

the traits they inherit from each other in s4 broadcasted so obviously like. ben’s attempts to lighten everyone’s mood with a plan of action (bc darius for once is not coming up w it. Sign one of shared leadership). ben’s “it’s all my fault” self blame taken from darius i see….bc hes the one who made the plan this time, and darius HAS to understand that when plans fail and people are put at risk the crushing guilt that falls upon him. the moment he steps up he feels like he messes things up. however even before this they both tried to do their parts to keep the group running smoothly, most noticeable during the brooklyn/sammy tension where they both try and dismantle it in their own way (sure ben more because of them being loud but. hey i’ll take it) ben goes through a bit of a leadership arc trying to get darius out of kash’s clutches coming up w another plan that nearly fails but doesnt and he gets darius back! wooo reward. i could talk about his reaction compared to the others when talking abt darius’ potential danger and how worried he was that entire arc but i’m gonna save that for the season compilation post

meanwhile the short arc of darius having to choose between dinosaurs and his friends was done excellently (in how it was introduced not how it was…executed). his need to do the overall right thing vs saving his friends…im proud of him for that. even if the season shouldve given him space to explore his feelings and mental state. but Anyways that must’ve created some sort of cognitive dissonance with his self much like what ben had to go through in season 2. i wish we could’ve seen more of his struggle w choosing one over the other…but his little persona he put on was 100% inspired by ben’s with the “i survived all alone and i am amazing for it” aura. not to mention ben single dad w firecracker and darius just. smiling at him???? he wasn’t even there for ben’s struggle w connecting w the dino, although he was in s3 where ben decided isolation was the way to go so he’s probably like Woo my boy is reaching out!! maybe ben confided in darius about missing bumpy and he just automatically got what was going on. or he’s just gay yeah that could be it. and then ben’s little attempts to impress darius where he says the most cheesy line ever and gets all flustered when darius isn’t impressed i was like Ayo whats goin on

just ben’s admiration for darius i really hope that gets addressed because the leadership bit of ben coming up with the plan—they were already coming up w plans together back in s3: to blow up something as a distraction, to defeat scorpius rex (where ben overrode darius’ “IM going to stop then” with “what are WE gonna do”), to save brooklynn (“if your plan turns out as good as this model, we’re in great shape” go co leadership!!!) and had their little meeting upstairs as the files were being copied, and s4 ben telling darius to listen up, then being like “Darius is already on board. Everyone else ready” like darius agreeing is the only thing that matters which to be fair that is the main leader. but it was rly nice to see him falling into this role in darius’ absence. honestly i somehow forgot brooklynn’s short bit of leadership at the time when i wrote this so i think it’s unfair to not acknowledge it. both ben and brooklynn are darius’ right hand ppl but this post is more focused on ben’s role. at the beginning of the season we see darius communicating w ben like they’re already partners, telling him his solo task to pack the food up while they were stalking the compy and then relying on ben to distract it with berries

i’m just really excited to see where s5 takes them because i really do love both of them as characters and their dynamic together bc they just complement each other so well. i want to see more of darius’ emotions and how he/others deal with them. i want to see ben’s emotions and how he acts while finding himself in the new situation. i want to see them comforting each other bc they know how to and figuring out plans together. they’re just so interesting to me bc of how they started w the guilt and how their personalities reflect and work off one another and i hope i can explore that accurately in my writings.

[sapphire-innit]

Saddest Beach Party Ever :(

Watch out for this one folks, it gets a bit dark -- mind the tags (though nothing outside of what you'd expect for.. this episode)

VOD: Tommy Is Left ALONE at his Exile Party with Dream (Start - 35:30)

(rp) I have Absolutely been putting off watching this one because I WILL cry and I am scared

I can't imagine what it was like to watch live and see NO ONE on the beach

He's keeping up a good face, adding more chairs... I'm not looking forward to it setting in.

like fuck man, fuck Dream for chasing of Ghostbur for MULTIPLE reasons but also because no one else even KNEW about the party :(

He's so excited about maybe seeing Tubbo I hate it Thanks

and now he's putting things down for Quackity and adding more things he's still so happy and excited (though you can occasionally see the mask break - there's a lot of nervous energy here)

"Where... no, well go place this" "why did Fundy leave the game" THANKS I HATE IT

Lazer and Fundy have been some of the people who have visited toooo :(

Tommy's face when no one is on the nether path.............. ouch

.............................................................................................

log off right now green demon

log off RIGHT NOW

just stewing in silence ..... painful....

cc!Tommy really is one of the best actors on the server, this hurts quite a bit

............

I know that's Dream joining the call and I hate it

fuck

"I'm running a little late, sorry :)" >:|

fuck, Tommy apologized and tossed his armor immediately INCLUDING HIS GIFT SHOES AND AXE, Dream didn't even ask

Dream of course taking the chance to be '''''''benevolent''''.... probably as a reward for Tommy doing it immediately and without prompting >:|

and ofc Dream just straight up lies about the invites to rub salt into the wound. Cant have Tommy thinking people CARE ABOUT HIM OR ANYTHING.

Even mentioned Tubbo SPECIFICALLY YOU BASTARD "in L'manburg" was that truly necessary bastard

the sun setting... a symbol of hope... the symbol of their friendship.... disappearing into the ocean... I hate it :(

Dream pushing him into eating the cake.. "I've lost my appetite"

just digging in that Tubbo For Sure got the Invite Definitely and no one came except Dream.

"I didn't mind being a little bit late because I thought everyone else would be here" why did he keep pointing out he was late, kept hammering that point home. Like even Dreams attention is not important to Dream? like it has to be earned maybe ..?

"No one cares about me anymore" "that's not true" *BREAKS CAKE* "None of them care about me anymore"

IS HE BREAKING THE PATH OHNOOO ;-;

"No one cares... other than You(Derogatory)"

"Maybe they had something more important" I hate how Dream hides his digs behind sounding consoling it fucking SUCKS

I hate how depressed he sounds, how resigned

....threw away the chicken, and he isn't eating or healing. I knew to watch out for it but its never been this pronounced before. He's down to three hearts ;-;

"I'm pretty sure he burned it, or lost it" I do not believe that for a SECOND Dream, or at least its not as clear cut as it seems. Tubbo CARES ABOUT TOMMY, I *JUST SAW* a clip of him holding the compass aaaaa

ohno

"at least SOMEONE on this entire 30 person server got an invite" "He said he was going to give it to at least 13 people, and at least one person I saw give it in person"

ohno

ohnooooooooooo

he really is gonna toss the compass isn't he nooooooooo

...............

staring into the lava again. "he burned it. On purpose"

Dream quibbling ... but doubling down i hate it

.......its just... so clear he's not only thinking about the compass in lava

Dream shooting at the Ghast,,, telling Tommy to sleep on it, coaxing him back from the edge "almost fell off, careful Tommy" I hate it here

"I don't sleep anymore Dream" "I just want to go home" "Please can I go home" he sounds so broken ;A;

"why can't I stay" :( :( :(

"It's not like they want you anyway Tommy. No one showed up to your party and everyone was invited" And THIS is why Dream tanked the party on purpose. Because if Tommy thinks no one even wants him, he won't even try to get back, and will just stay under Dreams control. There's such a mental and emotional difference and toll from "Outside forces (Dream) are keeping me from going home and maybe I can subvert or change them" and "Home doesn't want me and they're better off without me"

It truly is creepy how Dream is trying to coax him with the Christmas tree, like he's trying to pull this balancing act because he can tell Tommy is on the edge of really giving up and I hate it so much

He still hasn't eaten

"c'monn you want to see the Christmas tree :)" overwriting his feelings as well ugh

"I'm sure if you asked them, they'd say they care about you" I see you invalidating any future concern someone might show him

ALSO TOMMY CALLING EXILE HOME IS SURE SOMETHING

.....him asking Dream to defend him is... painful. Especially having just watched the latest stream where he asked the same of Tubbo right after being triggered as hell ugh. He really has gotten used to being made helpless and depending on Dream, even on the one day he didn't get his armor and weapons taken away from him. He sounds so resigned :(

(( LOL OK THE DNF JOKE WAS PRETTY FUNNY THO))

he's bribing him with the trident and I hate it. Though at least hes enjoying it??? Mixed feelings on that. He ate too and I hate that Dreams honeymoon stage is w o r k i n g )

that is the most sincere I have ever heard Tommy say Dream cares about him and it FUCKING SUCKS

I know we never could have had "Happy Party AU" because Dream never would have allowed people to come and validate Tommy but man Trident tricks w everyone would have been nice

...lol someone pointed out the red looks like blood. the fake girlfriend bits are so Weird

Dream what do you GET out of this, why are you so OBSESSED. He spends so much time here

"I wont bring it up with them because that would be awkward" oof and I bet he won't believe it if anyone says they didn't get the invite will he oof

.. He pulls out the Axe but lets dream actually kill the skeleton, he already put it away before Dream even got on screen how many times do i have to say THANKS I HATE IT HERE before it becomes meaningless

So this was around the point (or maybe a little bit later, but talking about this point) during dsmp where I started seeing it cross my dash without any context and saw a lot of takes about "oh but they didn't get the invite" and I had NO IDEA why Tommy was so upset about what was clearly a misunderstanding or why he was making it such a big deal.... well I get it now

Tommy really really isn't in a place where he can believe someone when they say they didn't get an invite. And it Really Truly WAS a big deal and actually I'm 100% on Tommy's side on this issue now (though I also don't blame the other characters for this: See Big Green Bastard Man who is truly at fault) I can understand completely why he throws it in their face later though

He's doubting if he wants to go back now.. that was exactly the point of it all :(

"Thanks for letting me keep my armor today btw" I hate how sincere Tommy is about this. I hate how Dream has so effectively done this, where Tommy sees it as a FAVOR that Dream doesn't come and blow up all of his things and hard work and THANKS him for it.

People much smarter than me have pointed out how 1:1 this is to real abusive relationships and how well its portrayed. I don't have anything clever or insightful to say here I guess, just that its exhausting and heavy to watch (but also really powerful as well, because we DON'T see shit like this played this realistically, or in this much accurate detail)

I just want Tommy to be out of here safely and realize what is being done to him is WRONG and not his fault and be given a chance to actually heal. I know the likelihood of that in the future, considering whats to come, is also. complicated to say the least.