#metaphorically liane and i are best friends
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cartman is literally the most complex and multitalented character in south park and i dont get most of the people who completely disregard him. if you dont want to see him, dont watch idk? south park is meant to be offensive and it’s okay if you get offended, thats the point. thats also the fun to be had with eric cartman’s character.
but accusing him of homophobic or would be transphobic? did we watch the same show??? cartmans went on a ‘date’ with his other cupid personality after it convinced him there’s nothing wrong w gayness n he never misgendered any character. he regularly crossdresses too. he had giant boobs willingly ffs he’s so queer you shld be able to taste the rainbow through the screen
the reason he’s so repressed and bigoted toward jews is legit his mother. ppl forget that cartman was not raised on /pol/, he was raised with /pol/ rhetoric being spewed by his mother and legit the only evidence against it is that cartman took her to see the passion of the christ to ‘prove’ jews were horrible, when this is easier read as (given context) him being excited to share something with his mother because it agrees with her on jews. interesting to note that liane has been discriminatory toward kyle as well, but acts surprised when cartman is discriminatory toward shelia.
(also i feel like it’s too late into the show to have his influences come from an outside source like the internet, as they do for most kids his age modernly. south park started during the internet’s adolescence, it’s all his mother)
i feel liane being a key factor in cartman’s behaviour is overlooked because she is a mother. i love liane and eric for the evil characters they are, so don’t get me wrong, but you cant really deny that she’s often seen as one of the greats in south parenting because she’s a motherly figure. if you think randy is the worst, spend a few minutes looking over liane. (sharon is actually the best btw)
to the talented part, even in earlier seasons you see cartman being a camera nerd. he’s got very impressive camera skills for Anyone, even outside his age group. i know this because i went to camera classes, and because you can see the south park real estate agents asking how he even got such a nice photo.
when i first started this blog, i reblogged a post highlighting cartmans musical talents saying he could make a good popstar, and no matter how far i get into cartman brainrot, i still agree. cartman can easily read sheet music and knows his way around a piano, and you can see his dedication to music in his groups fingerbang and faith+1. even if it was just to get the million dollars whatever, if he had no heart for music he likely wouldve had different ideas or been way less inspired.
yeah none of this really matters because its just silly old south park but it matters to me that i feel intellectual about the most evil character on television. i LOVE EVIL CARTMAN. i hope he’s evil forever. i just like him a bit much ykno <3
#south park#eric cartman#long post#i just woke up Forgive Me#metaphorically liane and i are best friends#liane cartman#is an abuser btw
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Concept sketch for Metaphor: Refantazio AU Xie Lian.
A halfblood of Elda and Clemar lineage born with only one odd horn on his head. To avoid needless pestering, he has developed quite the tale about how he ‘lost his other horn in an unlucky accident’. He spends his time in the lower end of the Grand Trad, doing his best to get by after the tragic deaths of his parents and surrounding friends and family some years back. He tends to spend what little he has to help the local homeless Paripus, earning himself dirty looks from the non-Paripus locals, and too many negative encounters with patrolling soldiers.
Hua Cheng concept sketch coming soon, hopefully. Then one day I’ll provide the finished sprites when I can figure out how to mimic the darn Metaphor art style.
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10 fics for International Fanworks Day
THESE ARE ALL ALMOST FROM THE SAME FANDOMS IM SO SORRY but they are very good I recommend.
Please consider going through the authors' other works as well.
1. Nothing hurts like the almost, almost, almost by communist_sasuke
Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs
Summary: “Don’t use Corruption, Chuuya.” Dazai tried again. “Let’s just get out of here.”
(A mission goes wrong, and Dazai learns to hold on to the things he can't bear to lose. If only his revelation hadn't come a little too late.)
I KNOW I KNOW mind the MCD tag but it's so well written and the grief just hits best at 1 am.
2. Atsushi's Guide to Surviving in the Armed Detective Agency (and Being a Part of a Family) by FrogintheWindow
Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs
Summary: Atsushi studies his coworkers in the hopes of understanding what exactly he’s a part of, and realizes that he’s joined a family, not an agency.
Basically a series of short stories where Atsushi writes about his experiences with the Armed Detective Agency (and the Port Mafia)
FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY
3. try again, try again, try again by absolutefuckery
Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing
Summary: Feng Xin accidentally steals Mu Qing’s first kiss. Naturally, the only logical solution is to give him another one. And another. And another. And another. And—
I'M LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC HONESTLY FQ ARE IDIOTS
4. Sleepwalking in shadows by oilux
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
Summary: “Fushiguro Megumi,” Sukuna drawls. “You summoned—”
“Do you have two dicks?”
It's all fun and games until you summon the King of Curses from your shadows.
OKAY OKAY SHIP CHOICE IS WEIRD IK BUT IT'S FUNNY
5. and all the things unsaid, come sweetly to your lips by citruspromenade
Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing
Summary: the Xian Le Trio reconciliation, through the (metaphorical) seasons.
(The actual summary is longer guys) FENG XIN LOVE AND MULIAN FRIENDSHIP WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED
6. pretty face, electric soul by khrys
Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing
Summary: Feng Xin and Xie Lian are attempting to re-enter high society. Mu Qing helps, and Feng Xin realizes a few things along the way.
LAST TGCF FIC I PROMISE
7. like, comments, share and subscribe by detectorist
Fandom: The Untamed / Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation
Summary: Lan Zhan runs a popular studytuber YouTube channel. Wei Ying decides to parody his videos. Things escalate from there.
THIS FIC GIVES ME LIFE
8. A Broken Soul by raendown
Fandom: Naruto (dont judge I had a phase)
Summary: Kakashi was born with a counter just like everyone else. But his was different. His was broken.
THIS IS ANGST OKAY YPU HAVE BEEN WARNED
9. Autonomy by beetlebee
Fandom: Naruto
Summary: "But this Not-Sensei soulmate guy could be anybody," Naruto whines.
Sasuke narrows his eyes. "No. He tried to act like Kakashi, use his techniques. He must be familiar with him already..."
"They could be childhood friends!" Sakura gasps.
"Sensei has friends?" Naruto asks, squinting at Obito.
"Or he's a stalker." Sasuke grips the kunai he still hasn't put away.
"I'm not a stalker," Obito lies, pushing away the kunai edging towards him.
----
(A soulmate bodyswap AU)
FUNNY OBIKAKA THERE I SAID IT
10. An Executive's Guide to Love, Jealousy & Everything in Between by mocarin
Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs
Summary: Dazai Osamu is known for many things. Being the Port Mafia’s renowned strategist, a coldhearted executive, and ½ of infamous duo Double Black is just the shortlist. One thing he isn’t known for, however, is being capable of being in love. More specifically, in love with his hot headed slug of a partner of 3 years.
Or, Dazai attempts to navigate the complexities of love, with varying levels of success. Featuring his own special brand of flirting, an all too knowing audience, and poor, poor Tachihara who just wanted a friend but ended up on Dazai’s personal blacklist instead.
OOC WARNING BUT IT'S FUNNY SO
+1. Snapshots from different lives: It's a bittersweet symphony this life by Crepuscolaria
Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing (I couldn't resist)
Summary: He didn’t even get to meet Mu Qing last time! And now they could grow together and have a lot of time! Of course he would run to him!
Not that he can explain this to his mom. She would just look at him with the same exasperated fondness she reserves him when he grumbles under his breath things like youths these days, or back in my day.
------
A brief glimpse to that one time FX found MQ and they were both kids and he actually managed to grow with him until old age.
Series
Part 4 of Beyond Space and Time
CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED FIC GO READ IT NOW
(Might make pt. 2 idk)
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a pleasure to ask more about the flying stars, i love hearing about it! 💚 i love the imagery of them with a long list of names they are debating for their band with only slightly mild hysteria of being up too late whether on some bighuge whiteboard or on a notes app like a baby names list before throwing their hands up, throwing a (hopefully metaphorical!) dart and introducing themselves as a different name every other night and taking audience feedback (getting a crowd of twenty something people to shout out if they prefer shooting stars or seeing stars) i think its so funny that they only realize that roope and robo go absolutely wild after they start performing 😭 five injured, microphone dead, still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them, divine inspiration struck for their band name at a show under an overpass and they still gotta pack their gear back up! i know you mention players as staff or assistance or a friend but are there other players involved in the scene? could be performing, could be a fan!
DEEPLY SORRY I LEFT THIS IN MY INBOX FOR SOO LONG.... forgive me. i love discussing the boys i just take forever to ruminate on my thoughts for them <3 i hope the long ass answer makes up for it omg
and oh yes at one point when theyre still figuring out the name they for Sure just start running a bit before shows "WE'RE THE [mumble unintelligible grumbling] STARS!" "hope you're excited to see the [WET COUGH] stars!" "... and with our dearest otter on the drums, WE are YOUR [loud clanging and banging from drumset] STARS!"
also hello "still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them" is so funny and so true. he's lost a shoe and ty is trying to drag him back to the stage but somebody has like a death grip on him and onstage otter and roope are frantically looking for something to write the name down with before they forget (miro wrote it in his notes app like the second one of them said it but he's staying quiet about it)
AND YES SO. delly harls are strictly Helping Out. delly by virtue of being otter's best friend/roommate BUT harls was like Into the punk scene!!! and really liked their sound (definitely NOTHING to do with any looks........) and befriended del who introduced him to the band etc etc so he was a fan turned roadie!
and wyatt DOES help run their merch table but he is ALSO a guitarist and singer . his stuff leans a little more like. indie rock than Heavier Punk like the flying stars play but he's a Friend of the Band (dating delly and always at his and otter's apartment because he's renting a room in Normal Dude joe pavelski's family home and is NOT bringing his boyfriend back there) and to seem more Professional they just have him perform as an opener ! because he is very good! though he honestly just ends up playing acoustic covers of popular punk/emo songs half the time the crowds are very endeared by his boyish swag.
i have ALSOOO played with the idea of him eventually Gaining Bandmates. which would probably end up being stank mav and nils! but i just havent fully decided their like. Instruments. i think one of them on keyboard would be kinda fun but grain of salt lol. i also want lian in here somewhere but i need him to get nhl time/more ahl time before i can flesh out those vibes.
AND I DONT THINK I EVER TALKED ABOUT THIS IM JUST REALIZING???? BUT MENTOR BAND!!!! disbanded mentor band but well. they all were fans of [insert tbd band name here actually maybe this is why i never talked about it] who were like. kinda on the cusp of fame? like were probably one album away from Making It before everything kinda crashed down. and it consisted of segs (vocals), klinger (guitar), esa (bass), bish (drums). their breakup was kinda messy and somewhat rooted in like. the very anti sellout culture of punk. to summarize it with like Minimal Detail (bc i would love to make a whole Thing abt it lowkey):
klinger out of nowhere is like. i have to go. there's better opportunities for me in california i know it (which was a Fucking Lie there was Drama with their manager but he didnt know how to or really want to articulate it and just wanted to get far away and his best offer was coming from california) which obviously everyone in the band IMMEDIATELY jumped on him like. what the fuck youre such a sellout we started this band as friends and youre leaving us for better opportunities?? in fucking california?? they were also all already like. on edge and stressed from the level of fame they were starting to get. so it was messy. and then him and esa had a messy breakup ofc. they're all cordial now but it lead to the immediate disbanding of the. band. because esa and tyler wanted to bring in other guitarists but bish refused to play with randos he wanted to play with his FRIENDS and it just. never worked out. so now esa tyler bish (and sometimes klinger when hes in town but . he tries to avoid being in town) spend their days working relatively normal ass jobs and going to flying stars shows and being like Don’t Be Us Don’t Go Sell Out Don’t Run From Feelings. and you know their asses are Listening to that Advice.
^ somehow that was the abbreviated version just trust me
#also idc if delly got traded irl in my au he is HEAVILY involved in the social culture of the band so . kick rocks jim!!!!!#thank u for the asks mwah mwah#flying stars band au
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8 characters I would love to see Jason Todd romantically date that aren't canon as of now
8. Roy Harper: Because of his time as working with him as outlaw and someone DC has made Jason's best friend. Somewhat because WFA having both Dick and Jason competing for Lian's favourite uncle role. It would be interesting to see him in the role of a step-father with his issues with the parental figures in his life. One big con about him is I know that a lot of Arrow fans would be against Jason and Roy being together because Roy's character changed to fit with Jason's and I get that. (although I made this canon I would drop this retroactively by having it come out they are now divorced and the time they lived together in the same apartment and sharing a bank account they were married and after did get a divorce that are now really good friends)
7. Stephanie Brown: the other dead robin. Stephanie is probably the closest family or should have been through the years as such. If there wasn't such a hatred from editorial to her prior to her death we had missed out on a lot of very interesting stories involving these two. Especially if you had a 19/20 year old Jason, 18 year old Stephanie and 17 year old Tim. But I also get that there would be people against this because Steph is Tim's ex and Jason has dated/showed interest in his siblings/bruce's people even the ones that they didn't actually date because People are objects that others can call maybe dibs on I guess.
6. Eddie Bloomber aka Red Devil. They were penpals and I think it would be cute if they met up years after Jason's death and their pinpal relationship and went "whoa he grew up hot." Bonus if it's a slow burn.
5. Duela Dent aka the Joker's possible daughter. The Drama that would bring in Jason's future maybe FIL being the man that killed him. Con: she is not sane and her father is possible the joker.
4.Kyle Rayner- going form rivals to lovers, that story just chef's kiss. I would get if Lantern fans would hate this
3. Rebecca Langstrom (man-bat's daughter) - There could be an interesting story there especially if you parallel the Man-batfamily to the batfamily Rebecca Langstrom, some what, especially if there is parallels to Rebecca and Jason . I thought of this would be a cool storyline because of the
2. Numbers- a boy Jason met at
1. Raven- this is a character that Jason gave some sleep pills so that he didn't have to fight her and so that she could have a good night sleep. So yeah I can see some potential stories about these two and them fighting their internal demons, metaphorical for Jason and literally for Raven.
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@aristarchos replied: aside from their duties and roles as body guard and personal attendants, do you think that because mu qing didnt know them as long it kind of made him feel like even more like him and xie lian weren't friends? cuz i know we know xie lian saw them both as his friends and had a hard time really separating cuz of where he stood in his position as a prince, but mu qing and feng xin were always aware. do u think that could have been a contribution? fnksdf i hope this makes se
absolutely!!!! for xie lian, friendship is definitely more akin to getting along with someone & enjoying each other’s presence. in the book, he truly believes meeting someone who makes him happy would be a forever thing. even later, using the famous duckweed metaphor, it’s the act of getting along, parting, & being able to meet once again & act as they have once before that’s so beautiful to him. so it makes sense why he’d get attached with so little time spent.
for mu qing, he most emphasizes understanding & empathy in his relationships. he’s really okay with tough times & having arguments once in awhile, but !!! if they can all just breathe & see where they’re all coming from, that’d be best. unfortunately for him, 2 months just isn’t enough time for that. hell, even 3 years isn’t enough for that because mu qing is naturally more closed off? he forces himself to hide away ( to not give anyone he doesn’t want an opening or reason to point fingers ). there would have been no way for mu qing to expect that out of xie lian in that time :( & i don’t think he pressures him to, but ... a part of him pushes it just to See(tm). like when xie lian compliments his skills & doesn’t get too bogged down by mu qing’s actual social standing, it makes him feel seen! & he appreciates it more than anything.
#aristarchos#『 headcanon 』#i guess JFKLSAD J#but yes!!! it makes sense LOL#it's really hard because most of their bonding time was cut short#in the middle of you know#disaster upon disaster and prayers upon prayers when mu qing was working as his junior official#so i don't think mu qing ever really got to Know Them and vice versa
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Hi again....Do you mind if I ask a few questions?
Who is your fav main couple in mxtx novels (wangxian or hualian or bingqiu)? And why?
Who is your favorite love interest in MXTX three novels (luo binghe, lan wangji, or hua cheng)? And why?
And who is your favorite protagonist in MXTX three novels (shen qingqiu, wei wuxian or xie lian)? And why?
Sorry if you've answered this question before....
Fav Main Couple:
Emotionally, Wangxian bc sentimental reasons of reading it first. Objectively Hualian bc I love the sheer beatnik energy of Xie Lian being the prototype perfect model for Heaven Official as per JW’s wishes and then after graduating being all like “Nope, I don’t wanna climb the corporate ladder dad! I wanna go on the road and meet the real ppl and their struggles and explore the land!”... and then he meets his hot biker bad boy anarchist mafia boss boyfriend and all of evil wall street dad’s plans for him go to shit...and that’s beautiful.
Fav Love Interest:
Lan Wanji: I like tsundere disasters. LBH is too puppy love, HC is too cool (and secretly such an otaku lol). LWJ is the one who is constantly, silently, screwing up and freaking out about it. He is the messiest one and I love him. Also, and I know I’m in the minority here, characters whose only focus in life is their love interest lowkey freak me out. I mean, in fiction and if they are one of the MC’s it’s romantic, but imagine if it’s one sided...yikes. HC has a whole realm under his command but that is barely brought up in the novel (and they could elaborate on that, the thing is huge), LBH does everything for Shizun. LWJ is the only one who has more loyalties to consider, and while that is one of the things that holds him back and might contribute to the tragedy in MDZS, it also makes him the most interesting character. He has his brother and uncle, later on he has Shizui, and his actions, both when he holds back bc of his sect/family and when he chooses WWX over all of them...it has a lot more weight because he is the one out of the 3 ML’s whose choices come at bigger personal cost.
Fav Protagonist:
Wei Wu Xian: He’s the personification of disaster and that makes him so relatable. BQ is like a sassy best friend you love. XL is adorable and the type of character you want to hug and protect, but he’s not relatable, bc nobody is that kind and giving.
WWX with his sense of justice, his rash decisions he eventually regrets (or not), his terrible memory, his adhd, his intentional flirting with ppl he doesn’t really want anything with just for the fun of it, and his “unintentional” flirting with the one he does, his obliviousness to love, his tendency to say everything is fine when it clearly isn’t, and the way he clearly avoids thinking about stuff as a coping mechanism, also the way he can stand up and speak his mind and be powerful to strangers but just lays down and takes all the verbal abuse from ppl closer to him (oh boy do I relate to this...not to my family thankfully, but I am usually such an outspoken person and then I let some “superiors” at work step all over me bc I don’t like confrontation and want to get along with everyone on my daily life)...and of course there’s the whole “I tried so hard to do things right, how did I end up ruining everything?”...There is just a lot of relatable and lovable things about WWX and his hopelessness does hit an emotional chord bc I think everyone has tried their best at some point in their lives and then had things turn out awful....and afterwards having to get up and move on. And yes, it’s all very wuxia and metaphorical, but all his attitudes post resurrection are so relatable: being ashamed, not wanting to be found by anyone he knew, later on after he was found just not wanting to talk about it and rather pretend it didn’t happen. Even the fact that the story ends and him and Jiang Cheng still aren’t ready to put it all behind them is relatable. There’s some relationships, some people, it’s going to take more time and more than one hard talk to fix things with. (See why I love WWX? his character makes me go all sappy and meta deep. I guess some of the stuff I said is also true for XL but he is like Jesus and I am much to petty to relate to him.)
#tian guan ci fu#mo dao zu shi#scumbag self saving system#svsss#heaven official's blessing#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#cnovels#cdrama
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Scrapbook 2021 | Part I
For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!
It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.
A reminder:
Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked
Goals are: read 80 books, finish five video games, write more than 20 fics or something larger than 20k, and write either an original short story or start a novel.
Past Years
MOVIES
January
(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)
(Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)
(Lord of the Rings: Return of the King)
Robin Hood
(Hook)
Wolfwalkers
February
(Age of Ultron)
From Up On Poppy Hill
(Tangled)
(Onward)
(The Mummy)
(Hercules)
(Promare)
March
Raya and the Last Dragon
(My Neighbor Totoro)
April
(Hunchback of Notre Dame)
(Tarzan)
(Beauty and the Beast)
Weathering With You
BOOKS
January
A Deadly Education | Naomi Novak [Fin]
Home Body | Rupi Kaur [Fin]
The Sunken Mall | K.D. Edwards [Fin]
Bloom | Kevin Panetta [Fin]
The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison
All the Stars and Teeth | Adalyn Grace [Fin]
The Adventure Zone: Vol 1 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]
I Hope You Stay | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]
Pillow Thoughts | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]
Piraneesi | Susanna Clarke [Fin]
The Ex Talk | Rachel Lynn Solomon [Fin]
February
The Adventure Zone: Vol 2 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]
The Adventure Zone: Vol 3 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]
The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison
Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink
March
Winter’s Orbit | Everina Maxwell [Fin]
Fireheart Tiger | Aliette de Bodard [Fin]
Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink
Fire | Kristin Cashore [Fin]
Bitterblue | Kristin Cashore [Fin]
The Witch’s Heart | Genevieve Gornichec [Fin]
Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore
April
Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]
Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore [Fin]
The Memory Theater | Karin Tidbeck [Fin]
These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong
(Red White and Royal Blue | Casey Mcquiston) [Fin]
Rule of Wolves | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]
Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]
Not the Girl You Marry | Andie Christopher [Fin]
The Echo Wife | Sarah Gailey [Fin]
The Midnight Library | Matt Haig
Catherine House | Elisabeth Thomas [Fin]
Séance Tea Party | Reimena Yee [Fin]
Lumberjanes vol 1 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]
PODCASTS
January
The Unseen, Christmas and New Year Special
The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel arc, Heart of It All and What Lies Beyond
The Penumbra Podcast, Second Citadel, Strong Arm of Justice and The Priestess’ Fortune
I Am In Eskew, Episode 16
Welcome to Night Vale, Episode 67, 68, and 69
The Magnus Archives, Episode 190 and 191
February
The Magnus Archives, Episode 192-194
The Adventure Zone, Episodes 15-60
March
The Magnus Archives, Episode 194-200 [Fin]
The Adventure Zone, Episodes 60-TAZ BALANCE ENDING
MBMBAM, Episode 1
I Am In Eskew, Episode 17-22
April
I Am In Eskew, Episode 23-END
Alice Isn’t Dead, Episode 18-END
TV SHOWS BY SEASON
January
His Dark Materials, s2 [Fin]
Watcher Entertainment
Buzzfeed Worth It
(Black Sails, s1)
The Queen’s Gambit**
February
Cherry Magic
Wandavision, s1
Watcher Entertainment
The Owl House
(Little Witch Academia)
Star vs the Forces of Evil, s3, s4
Bridgerton
Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime
Heaven’s Official Blessing
March
Wandavision, s1 [Fin]
Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History & Watcher Weekly
Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Word of Honor
April
Word of Honor, s1
Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History
Falcon and the Winter Soldier, s1
Kim’s Convenience, s1, 2, 3, 4
Leverage, s4
Shadow and Bone, s1
The Great, s1
VIDEO GAMES
January
Hades, 37 hours [Fin]
Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours
February
Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours
Hades, 75+ hours?
Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 16 hours
Persona 5 Royal
March
Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 45 hours
Persona 5 Royal, 141 hours
Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours
Concrete Genie, 3 hours
April
Concrete Genie, 6 hours [Fin]
Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 65 hours
Persona 5 Royal, 160 hours
Monster Hunter Rise, 2 hours
Civ, 5 hours
DELIGHTFUL FIC
January
Modern Rustic by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 22k | “I think,” he says, finally, “that if we looked around this place hard enough, we’d find a rose underneath a—a glass thing, what’s it called—losing petals. Metaphorically.”
easy livin' by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved (Fallout AU) | Ryan/Shane | 6k | The Wasteland - and Ryan - through Shane's eyes.
(in nocte consiliam by oxymoronic | Bartimaeus | Bartimaeus/Nathaniel | 4k | London, 2003. Britain is on the brink of war, and someone is trying rather hard to kill John Mandrake.)
made of glass the way you see through me by uneventfulhouses | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 19k | Will it always be like this? Ryan wonders, watching Shane lope up the snowy walkway and pushing his way through the front door, humming some jolly old tune in that way Shane’s prone to do. Theatrical, performing for an audience even though Ryan is the only one around.
All Your Stars In View by alpha_exodus | Harry Potter | Draco/Harry | 18k | Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can't refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.
13 Genuinely Awful Things About Steven by thefourthvine | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | Andrew’s learned to like cake, he’s learned to like oysters, and he’s learned to like Steven.
we’ll make a brand new start of it (in old new york) by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | “Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?”
Russian Roulette Croquembouche by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Andrew/Steven | 9k | “Get that on your business card,” Andrew advises. “Steven Lim, video producer, world traveler, fancy dessert boy. Human cream puff.”
rose-colored boy by juniperProse | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 2k | Andrew’s eyes are pink.
Like Wildfire by makemadej | Watcher Entertainment | Shane/Ryan | 20k | “Is this gonna be a thing with you?” Ryan demands. “You can’t keep committing to stuff that no one else knows about! When people online say they want you to be more open and vulnerable, this is not what they mean.”
Scratching the Itch by bendingsignpost | Doctor Who | Rose/Ten | 20k | Her mum had always told her that blokes had only one thing on their minds, but this was taking it to an entirely new level.
lie back and let me unlock you by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 7k | Xiao Xingchen, reluctantly, admits to certain fantasies that he has. His friend is happy to indulge him.
in our respective ways by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 6k | Jiang Cheng has his golden core back. But he seems to have lost Wei Wuxian.
By Proxy by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng/Lan Wangji | 12k | Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, looking for comfort in all the wrong places.
some good mistakes by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 18k | Or, the one where Wei Wuxian vanishes and Lan Wangji, reluctantly, asks for Jiang Cheng's help tracking him down.
efforts in a common cause by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang/Song Lan | 12k | Everybody's walked out of Yi City alive. Now it's just three badly adjusted adults (and one badly adjusted teenager) trying to make things work - a project somewhat derailed by a night hunt that turns out to be something else.
swinger of birches by astronicht | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 23k | Lan Zhan is a little witch in the house on the hill, whispering out a love curse. Wei Ying is a witch undead, undone.
let me desecrate you by hkafterdark | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | “Dangerous words.” Wei Wuxian drew back. The flickering candlelight gave him an otherworldly appearance; that, and his beauty, unchanged since the first time Lan Wangji had seen him. “You aren’t afraid to be at the mercy of the fearsome Yiling laozu?”
The Demon Affair by stereobone | Yu Yu Hakusho | Hiei/Kurama | 9k | Kurama accidentally seduces Hiei into a relationship.
i came to win (and i won) by paperclipbitch | The Queen’s Gambit | Beth/Benny | 3k | They play chess, and they fuck.The two things are not the same.
February
Sylvain Gautier Would Love To Try To Solve All Your Problems Through Sex (Hey It Might Help) by Fall Out Boy by harriet_vane | Fire Emblem: Three Houses | Sylvain/Felix | 22k | In which Sylvain wakes up on the wrong tour bus, and refuses to be their sex therapist (unless Felix asks nicely)
Turnabout and Start Again by runningondreams | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 34k | WIP | Wei Wuxian lives. The siege fails.Thirteen years later, Lan Wangji wakes in a body that is not his own.
μήτηρ, in the Greek by antistar_e (kaikamahine) | Hades | Nyx & Persephone, canon relationships | 37k | At the end of this recounting, she tilted her head and asked politely, Is this not how you have children?Uh, no, said Persephone.
that voodoo that you do so well by veterization | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 18k | Ryan buys a voodoo potion oil at Voodoo Authentica meant to attract Yummy Boys. Appropriately, things happen.
A Bridge Between by Runespoor | Spirited Away | Gen | 3k | Years later, Chihiro moves into a new apartment; her parents help.
the ghost king's bride by arahir | Tian Guan Ci Fu | Hua Cheng/Xie Lian | 10k | Ghosts won't stop giving Xie Lian flowers, Hua Cheng won't stop teasing, and Xie Lian is out here doing his best, man.
Side bitch out of your league by rohkeutta | Captain America | Steve/Bucky | 3k | “I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”
cause in your warmth (I forget how cold it can be) by madnessandbrilliance | Promare | Lio/Galo | 7k | Lio is always freezing. Galo is always warm. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.
backdraft by broments | Promare | Lio/Galo | 32k | It happens in an instant, Galo gaping like an idiot while Lio presses forward to defend against the perceived threat, the weapon sparkling but not burning as it kisses Galo's throat.
your perfect crime (& how you laugh when you lie) by aroceu | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | Death Note AU | 8k | The first time a convicted murderer dies of a heart attack in their jail cell, no one thinks anything of it.
Yosuke will now die for you! by DragonBandit | Persona 4 | Yosuke/Souji | 5k | ...This, causes problems.
dramamine by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Song Lan is having a bad morning. Help comes from the last person he'd expect: Xue Yang.
Hearth and Home by lady_ragnell | Leverage | Alec/Eliot/Parker | 1k | When Eliot goes to a temple, or when he’s in one place long enough to build a shrine, he doesn’t do it for Ares. He does it for Hestia.
Where One Ends and the Other Begins by kalliopeia | Leverage | Alec/Parker/Eliot | 30k | Nobody’s particularly shocked when the job goes spectacularly sideways because their loot turns out to be magic. Parker and Eliot begin reading each other’s minds, accidental sharing happens, and shenanigans result.
Hungry Thirsty Roots by coolkidroland | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 56k | In which Akira absolutely does not learn to leave well enough alone. **
Without Grasping Yet by Angelic_Ascent | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 8k | Akechi and Akira end up far too cramped for comfort in the Morgana bus. And then they're left alone in Mementos.
Falling Up by KivaEmber | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 2k | “If it helps…” Akira spoke up suddenly, his tone morbidly amused, “I forgive you, for shooting me in the face.”
March
Touch of Forbidden by tirsynni | LoZ | Ganondorf/Link | 2k | Nabooru warned him not to travel to the Spirit Temple. So of course Link went to the Spirit Temple.
breaking the same old heart by tardigradeschool | The Adventure Zone | Magnus/Taako | 11k | Taako and Magnus in triptych: before, during, and after the Bureau.**
your head is good, it’s loyal, it’s clean by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 4k | "Here, I do this all the time."Too quickly for him to react, Taako plucks away one of his golden rings and slips it onto the ring finger of Magnus' left hand.
bruising kisses, whispered confessions by tangerine_skye | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | The trio stop over at an inn for the night. Taako and Magnus share a bed.
i can see what's coming (but i'm not saying it) by pansywaist | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | His breath is still hot on Taako's lips, distracting enough he almost misses the strained whisper: “I thought I was gonna lose you.”
Emergency Consolation in the Pocket Spa by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | If Magnus wants to hug a wizard, Magnus gets to hug a wizard.
together for the long haul by kismetNemesis | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 6k | Magnus and Taako were married on a bright spring day in the year after they saved the world.
thin skin, bruises, and a cold cup of tea by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | Sleep is for the weak, and Magnus has no weaknesses, except for his own natural curiosity.
tender is the night by dollylux | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 10k | “It’s just…” He runs a hand through the thick bramble of his hair, gripping the crown of it to anchor himself. He sighs, slumping back against the footboard. “I guess I’m just not very good at one on one. Like, not… not in any way.”
a note is attached to the top of the vial by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Kravitz/Taako, Magnus/Taako | 5k | Elves have a lifespan of up to six hundred years. The people that you know don't even come close to that.
Pieces of Memory and Heart by ellemaris | Raya and the Last Dragon | Raya/Namaari | 1k | Raya isn't sure how to heal everything between Heart and Fang, but returning something important to Namaari seems like a start.
the gods laugh by miss_aphelion | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 11k+ | WIP | Wei Wuxian is just getting used to being alive again when he's ripped from the world he knows. He wakes in a place where his sister and her husband live, where his brother doesn't hate him, where the Wen remnants have all survived.
In Your Room, In Your Bed by giraffeter | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji/Jiang Cheng | 25k | After Wei Ying is disowned, Yu Ziyuan forbids Jiang Cheng from letting Wei Ying live with him. Jiang Cheng lets him stay anyway because Fuck That. He tells his parents Lan Zhan is his new roommate instead.
in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by varnes | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 14k | “Doctor Flowers,” Lan Zhan repeats, pointing at the tiny plum tree, just to confirm that his son is suggesting a magical tree named Doctor Flowers sprouted overnight and made their tame family project turn into a verdant jungle.
34 years old - 5'8" - DL - no-BB by withpractice_ff | Ace Attorney | Edgeworth/Phoenix | 3k | Phoenix finds Edgeworth’s Grindr profile
spinning with the stars above by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 7k | Wangji returns home to Vulcan for the first time since he left for Starfleet Academy, this time with Wei Ying at his side. He’s not expecting Wei Ying and his uncle to be fast friends, but things go poorly in a very different way than he was expecting.
every breath that comes before by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 10k | Or, what if that cup of wine Wei Wuxian drank for Lan Wangji after the Phoenix Mountain hunt wasn't just wine?
never love an anchor by tardigradeschool | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 31k | A fisherman and a selkie fall in love beside the sea. Regretfully, things are never quite that simple.
Be Careful by giraffeter | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 5k | Song Lan and Xue Yang try to survive a week in their shared apartment without Xiao Xingchen as a buffer.
won't you let me know you now by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 12k | WIP | “Have you ever heard of a mind meld?” Wangji keeps his voice as level as possible, as if he is not revealing foremost Vulcan secrets.
April
running for a soft place to fall by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Xichen & Lan Wangji | 10k | As he leaves for his coming of age test at age twelve, half-Vulcan Xichen has a goal in mind. The rules of the kahs-wan prohibit taking food, water, or weapons. In accordance, Xichen is bringing none of those things, but he does have a compass tucked into his pocket. He is going to find his father.
an act too often neglected by Ariaste | The Untamed | Lan Xichen/Meng Yao | 60k | The single faceless, anonymous photograph on the profile that catches his eye is shot in elegant black-and-white, and there’s something about the crispness of the focus and the markedly off-center composition that says art, for once, rather than mugshot.The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”
where you go, I'm going (so jump and I'm jumping) by Aria | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jonathan | 6k | "I don't think so," Alex said. She looked at Martin. "Is this really how it went?"
Morning, keep the streets empty for me by feyburner | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | Ghosts were drawn to the ring roads.
2am on a saturday by detectorist | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 11k | In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.
Grief Kindly Stopped by ShanaStoryteller | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 5k | Nothing leaves the Burial Mounds alive.
superhero love triangle by Asuka Kureru (Askerian) | Bleach?! | Grimmjow/Ichigo | WIP | 17k | You know those classical superhero-genre love triangles that actually only contain two people? Yeah.
Boat Basin by downjune | The Falcon and the Winter Soldier | 5k | He thought the 21st century now maybe suffered from an overabundance of classifications for all the different ways to fuck and/or romance a person, but the most important thing—and his therapist had emphasized this—the most important thing was connection.
my touch magnifies by isozyme | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 7k | Wen Kexing gets hit with fuck-or-die sex pollen on the way to Longyuan cabinet. Everything would be fine, except Zhou Zishu’s been keeping an unfortunate secret: the nails in his chest mean he can’t get hard anymore.
DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS
January
2020 || Multifandom Mashup
Hades - Official Animated Trailer
Hades Mini-PMV: This Year
2020, I guess
MARVEL || Energy (ft. Easy McCoy + Black Hydra)
obi-wan || give it
2020 ll Multifandom Mashup
Multifandom | Goodbye 2020
Multifandom | Goodbye 2018
2018 Multifandom | MASHUP
His Dark Materials - No Sanctuary
Lyra & Mrs. Coulter | Hurricane
► mrs. coulter || way down we go [hdm]
Wonder Woman || BORN READY
Vikings | The End of the Journey
February
MARVEL || Ready Set (ft. Vo Williams)
MARVEL || Here We Go (ft. Chris Classic)
MARVEL || Is You Ready || The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Never forget || Hualian - Hua Cheng x Xie Lian AMV
【魔道祖师 / MDZS】Animatic - The First Siege | Safe & Sound
The Jedi Way | THE MANDALORIAN
Multifandom || Going Bad (feat. Drake)
March
Broccolli Casserole--The Untamed
Hey Brother - The Adventure Zone Animatic/PMV
The Adventure Zone: Balance trailer
The Adventure Zone: Balance Arc Trailer (Animatic)
13 Year Olds (A MDZS Animatic by Arcxus)
Multifandom || Die In This Town
DNA | shadow & bone
(Marvel) Wanda Maximoff | Grief
Defying Gravity | MDZS/CQL Animatic
It’s Quiet Uptown | MDZS Animatic
To The Stars
(Marvel) WandaVision || Awaken
Walt Disney Animation Studios | A Magical Journey
We don't have forever.
stop living a fake life.
► Wanda Maximoff | PAINT IT BLACK (+15k)
Multifandom || Take It (c/w Quang Truong) ft. @SEIGE WORLD
Kylo Ren | STAR WARS
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
April
MARVEL || Natural ft.ImagineDragons
xue yang & xiao xingchen ➤ gasoline
WEN KEXING || GASOLINE
Wen Kexing ✘ Zhou Zishu || Dandelions
Play With Fire - Wen Kexing
TOXIC ~ Wen Kexing ~ word of honor ~ 山河令
(Marvel) Bucky Barnes | Free
Bucky Barnes | Feeling Good
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier || Next Level ft. @7kingZ || (Marvel)
Eternity looking down on us.
The complexity of reality.
Captain America
✗ The Crows | Trouble (Shadow&Bone)
Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black
The secret fate of all life.
DELIGHTFUL MUSIC
January
A Better Version - Jessie Shelton
Start a War - Klergy, Valerie Broussard
Meet Me in the Dark - Melissa Etheridge
ily - Surf Mesa, Emilee
Space Man - Eurielle
To Be Loved - Aurora
In the Blood - Darren Korb
Can’t Help Falling in Love - Tommee Profitt
Astronomical - SVRCINA
Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel
In This Shirt - The Irrepressibles
goblincore + cottagecore
moonlit love letters 🌙💌 (sailor moon-inspired lofi mix)
Moonlight Densetsu Lo-Fi Remix 1 hour version
Peaceful Meditation
February
Never Forget You - Zara Larsson
Is You Ready - Migros
Recomposed Four Seasons - Max Richter
The End - JPOLND
Love Yourself - Sufjan Stevens
Deja | Daniel Roure
Used To Like | Neon Trees
Material Boy - Sir Sly
Willow - Taylor Swift
Overture - Apashe
Evangeline - Josh Garrels
Gris, pt 1 - Berlinist
Inferno - Hiroyuki Sawano
March
BAMBAM - Angie
Dictator - Rei Ami
Demons - Hayley Kiyoko
Runaway - Rei Ami
Deep Blue - Marcus Warner
Brave New World - Kalandra
Nero - The Speed
The Path of Silence - Anne Sophie Versnaeyen
Tuleloits - Kerli
Soft to Be Strong - Marina
Relic - Reeder
Ascension - Gorillaz
Will You Follow Me Into the Dark - Klergy
Voidfish (Plural) - Rachel Mitchell
Raya and the Last Dragon soundtrack
Unicorn Wizard - Ninja Sex Party
Me Too - Meghan Trainor
Umbrella - Rihanna
Colors Flying High - Lollia
Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There - Lyn
lovely - khalid
Burn My Dread - Lotus Juice
Progress - The Dear Hunter
My Mother Told Me - Rachel Hardy
Savage Daughter - Sarah Ross
Four - Sleeping At Last
April
The Other Side - Amarante
Predator & Prey - Griffin Puatu
As the World Caves In -Matt Maltese
Tell Her I Wasn’t Scared - Dan Thiessen
Esmeralda - Adriel Genet
Woods - AfterInfinity
So Human of You - Shireen
Flags of Rome - Jesper Kyd
Do It All the Time - I don’t Know How But They Found Me
Hummingbirds - Venus Hum
On and On - Curtis Harding
Grand Escape - RADWIMPS
my ex’s best friend - machine gun kelly
Sofia - Clairo
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Charlotte Lawrence
Next Level - 7KingZ
Tell Me - Johnny Jewel
Get Out of Town - Firefles
Music for Anglo Saxes
I See Darkness In You - Red Mecca
Satan Is His Name - Holly Golightly
Rocky Trail - Kings of Convenience
Story - NF
Because the Night - 10,000 Maniacs
Use to Be (L.O.V.E.) - Chelsea Collins
Bird on a Wire - Simone Istwa
Huzzah - Nathan Barr
POSTED FIC
January
gonna make you feel, boy | Hades | Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus | 1,101 words | “You can touch, you know,” she murmurs, satisfaction and anticipation warring within her. Her pulse pounds. Zagreus’s eyes have darkened, his pupils eating up all that color. He looks good enough to eat.
February
how long do we have? | She Ra | Adora/Catra | 1,539 words | “The war is over, Adora,” Catra tells her. Adora hums. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
March
only fools rush in | The Adventure Zone | Taako/Magnus | 5,209 words | “Okay,” Taako says, sitting down heavily. “So. Ancient ritual to… bring people together?”
til my lungs both billow out | The Magnus Archives | Jon/Martin | 748 words | The knife goes in. The tape runs out.
the echo, as wide as the equator | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 2,927 words | “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers after it is done.
April
N/A
WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL
January
1685 words of Buzzfeed Unsolved, tattoo AU
February
N/A
March
3121 words of Magnus/Taako, Stolen Century verse Posted!
April
852 words of Steve/Billy
FANMIXES/GRAPHICS
January
got the morbs: sad/somber songs for sad/somber people
2021: a mix for the year that comes after 2020
Sahara Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Spanish Sahara
Fire Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Play With Fire
Consequences Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Consequences
Paradise Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Paradise Valley
Real Boy: a Zagreus playlist
February
N/A
March
only fools rush in: a taako/magnus playlist
pomegranate seeds: a persephone playlist
make them bow: a megaera playlist
fuck feelings: a taako playlist
til my lungs both billow out: a jonmartin playlist
April
i am my mother’s savage daughter: a playlist for the girl
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2019 books in review
hello!! i’ve started to do this every year now because i love books lol. here were some of my favorites from this year!! starred are my faves.
fiction
station eleven by emily st. john mandel***
about the world following the end of the world and a traveling shakespearean troupe
the secret history by donna tartt*
[shane madej voice] we’re here for the cult stuff
gathering of waters by bernie l. mcfadden* (southern gothic)
southern gothic/magical realism narrated by the town of money, mississippi about the lynching of emmett till
sing, unburied, sing by jesmyn ward* (southern gothic)
a family from mississippi struggles to heal from the ghosts of their past & present
fruit of the drunken tree by ingrid rojas contreras
an author’s recollections of growing up in a war-torn colombia
cat’s cradle by kurt vonnegut
not even totally sure how to summarize this one tbh but i did love it
big little lies by liane moriarty (mystery)
PTO mom drama and also someone’s dead
the witch elm by tana french (mystery/thriller)
after being dealt a traumatic brain injury, a man attempts to solve the mystery of a body discovered in the tree of his family home’s backyard
death on the nile by agatha christie (mystery)
yer classic whodunit
dark places by gillian flynn (mystery/thriller)
the protagonist digs into her past and the unsolved murder of her family, and ends up on the run from a killer
house of broken angels by luis alberto urrea
a large mexican family comes to terms with the imminent death of their patriarch
fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury
what if reading was punishable by death? and other fun questions that are still terrifyingly relevant
eleanor oliphant is completely fine by gail honeyman
a very lonely and traumatized woman learns to make human connections
to the lighthouse by virginia woolf
some people go to a lighthouse. whether or not they get there is the burning metaphorical question of the novel
the girl on the train by paula hawkins (mystery/thriller)
a woman whose life is falling apart sees something that she’s not supposed to on her morning train ride, and gets sucked into the center of a murder mystery
the bedlam stacks by natasha pulley
fantasy/historical fiction set in the 1800s wilderness of peru
sula by toni morrison
the story of two black women who go from best friends to enemies, both outcast by their community
practical magic by alice hoffman
two witchy sisters and their family try to break an old curse and also keep a body hidden
the seven deaths of evelyn hardcastle by stuart turton (mystery/thriller)
a man with no identity or memory has to solve the murder of the titular character, but in the bodies of eight different people where the same day repeats eight times
where the crawdads sing by delia owens
the protagonist is an orphan who raises herself in the isolated wilderness of the north carolina marshes; plus a love triangle and a murder mystery
she would be king by wayétu moore
historical fiction/magical realism about the history of liberia and america; the three protagonists have supernatural powers that bring them together across africa and north america
the round house by louise erdrich
a native american boy attempts to solve and seek justice for his mother’s unsolved rape on his reservation (rape cw)
queer lit
call down the hawk by maggie stiefvater*
first book of “the dreamer trilogy” following “the raven cycle”
in other lands by sarah rees brennan*
a boy named elliot discovers there’s another world beyond ours, and that it has cute boys and mermaids
the binding by bridget collins**
a bookbinding apprentice learns the magical craft of memory-binding, which is more sinister and powerful than he ever would’ve imagined
on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong*
a vietnamese man writes an open letter to his mother about his childhood, trauma, memory, queerness, transnational identity
the second two books of the captive prince trilogy by c.s. pacat (prince’s gambit* and kings rising) (non-con cw for the first book)
the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid*
an aging hollywood superstar spills her entire life story to an up and coming journalist, which includes her seven marriages and the secret love of her life
the wolf in the whale by jordanna max brodsky
historical fiction about the ancestors of the inuit tribe and the vikings; the protagonist journeys to save the gods of her people (rape cw)
red white and royal blue by casey mcquiston
enemies-to-lovers with the president’s son and the prince of england
everything under by daisy johnson
a completely unique queer retelling of a classic, tragic myth that involves water monsters
birthday by meredith russo (ya romance)
eric and morgan are tied by fate when they’re born on the same day in the same hospital; morgan, who’s trans, struggles to transition and tell her lifelong best friend who she really is
wayward son by rainbow rowell
sequel to carry on
once & future by amy rose capetta and cori mccarthy
campy queer arthurian retelling....in space?
sci-fi/fantasy
the long way to a small, angry planet by becky chambers** (also queer lit)
found family in space!!!!
a closed and common orbit by becky chambers* (also queer lit)
standalone sequal to tlwtasap where non-humans learn to become humans and belong
spinning silver by naomi novik*
miryem, the keen and no-nonsense daughter of a moneylender, has an uncanny knack for profit that draws the attention of fey winter creatures from the wood
strange the dreamer by laini taylor
involving a lost city, dream-worlds and half-gods
muse of nightmares by laini taylor*
sequel to strange the dreamer (wouldn’t classify as queer lit but does have great queer characters)
king of scars by leigh bardugo
first of a series following both the grisha trilogy and the six of crows duology
ninth house by leigh bardugo
dark academia, secret societies, a murder mystery, and a girl who can see ghosts (observe the warnings for this one!! it’s very grimdark so there are quite a few.)
the deep by rivers solomon (also queer lit)
a race of merfolk, who are the descendants of pregnant african slaves thrown overboard on the middle passage, relive their traumatic histories
the bear and the nightingale by katherine arden
medieval russian folklore/fairy tale woven into the story of a girl who protects her village from evil
the amber spyglass by philip pullman
third book in “his dark materials” trilogy
the ocean at the end of the lane by neil gaiman
a man returns to his childhood home for a funeral and childhood memories of events there come rushing back—memories that are far too strange and terrifying to be real
the descendant of the crane by joan he
fantasy novel set in historical china; the protagonist is a princess dealing with the death of her father as she tries to protect magical folk from getting killed and prevent a war
young adult
on the come up by angie thomas
a young woman pursues a rap career in the face of family struggles
tunnel of bones by victoria schwab
the sequel to city of ghosts about a girl who can see beyond the veil into the world of the dead; this time she’s being haunted in the catacombs of paris
darius the great is not okay by adib khorram
darius, who feels unremarkable about everything, takes a family trip to iran and meets his first true friend
horror
wilder girls by rory power (also queer lit)
all-girls high school trying to survive in the apocalyptic wilderness of the northeast (body horror cw)
the hunger by alma katsu
a horrific reimagining of the famed donner party’s doomed 1847 trek across the u.s. west
misery by stephen king
a famous author gets trapped and tortured by a psychopath who forces him to write more of her favorite novels
ghost wall by sarah moss (also queer lit)
things go south when a girl and her abusive, history-obsessed father attempt to live as ancient britons once did as part of an anthropology course
the woman in black by susan hill
a man sent to collect a dead woman’s belongings from a spooky house steps into a hateful haunting
nonfiction
i’ll be gone in the dark by michelle mcnamara*
about one woman’s obsessive and meticulous hunt for the golden state killer
bad blood by john carreyrou*
an investigative journalist details one of the most ambitious startup scams in silicon valley history
gentleman jack: the real anne lister by anne choma
a companion novel to the show about the uk’s first lesbian marriage from the insanely detailed diaries of anne lister
becoming by michelle obama
michelle recounts her childhood, her marriage, and her years as first lady
poetry/short stories
devotions by mary oliver***
song for the unraveling of the world by brian evenson
the lottery and other stories by shirley jackson
the heart and other viscera by felix j. palma
for last year’s rec, click here! for more of these insightful reviews, message me to ask for my goodreads. :)
#i read some other stuff like the magicians which i did not like and some new fantasy ya that i can't really recommend#claire for ts#books 2019#literature
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After Stephen Amell awesomeness of which I only wish to make this comment: I will not miss the Wig
I can totally understand Stephen’s daughter, that thing had a life of it’s own.
Marc Guggenheim bit starts at the 1.05 mark and the theme is Flashbacks. Marc “sends” us info both in words and facial expressions, the dialog goes a bit like this:
MG: ... the Season Premiere of Season 6 will have a flashback.
Q: To the Island?
MG: *eyes looking up to the left side, smile on his face**tilting his head to the left still a smile on his face*
Q: It's a Flashback.
MG: *he moves to focus on the interview for a bit but again keeps looking to the right* To the Island...*eyes wandering around upperward* hummm... *almost winks his right eye* if you take me literally at my word. Yes back to the Island.
Marc is truly enjoying this; enjoying finding ways to answer not really answering. @marcguggenheim you are a Master and I do enjoy this kind of games you play when you play them this way, because 1. I can tell you are trolling with us and I’m okay with being “trolled” when I’m in the know that I am and when it’s made in a clever and cunning way; 2. I can’t tell there’s something interesting about the Flashback in 6x01 and that peaks my curiosity;
I like to watch Marc Guggenheim while he does these kind of thing as oppose to having the reporter / interviewer telling me what he understood. The little signs Marc sends while he searches for words are gold and say so much.
At this point I’m not really sure the Flashbacks are to the Island; if there is one thing I’ve learned over the years I’m following the show is not to take Marc Guggenheim literally at his word. When he alerts with “if you take me literally at my word “ and after all the facial expressions that convince me he’s searching for the best words to play with it and sell the show I think we shouldn’t do nothing of the sort, do not take him literally at his word.There’s plenty of metaphorical Island’s in Arrow, take your pick.
Of course it would make sense to have a Flashback to just after the 5x23 explosion and see Oliver searching the wreck site that is Lian Yu for his friends and William’s mother. I for one have been dreaming about Oliver finding Felicity in the wreck and how relieved, happy, and tearful they both would be while holding each other (I’m going to write it don’t worry :) ) but after hearing Marc I’m not so sure that’s the Flashback we will get.
In a way I rather that Oliver finding Felicity and the others is not set on Flashbacks, I rather see it happening and what happens next instead of having the present set ahead of all the confusion and emotional turmoil that the explosion has ensued.
Still one final truth remains, Marc has me curious about 6x01 (as if I wasn’t already). Great Mr. Guggenheim, way to make my Summer even more unbearable.
@vaelisamaza | @hope-for-olicity | @tdgal1 | @bindy417 | @supersillyanddorky06 | @emmaamelia95 | @coal000 | @miriam1779|@felicityollies | @eilowyn1 | @jules85 | @scu11y22 | @quant-um-fizzx | @memcjo | @dmichellewrites | @bringbackianto |@laurabelle2930 | @oli-feli | @oliverfel4 | @mel-loves-all | @spaztronautwriter| @cruzrogue | @bekaoperetta | @charlinert | @almondblossomme | @oliverdant | @felicitys | @fadinglands | @nalla-madness | @onceuponarrow | @leonie1988 | @stygian-omada-fan | @dust2dust34
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Best Laid Plans of Men and Monsters...
In a lot of ways, Season 5 is about plans. The making of them, the execution of them, the deviation from them. But it’s not just about plans in Season 5. It’s about plans from long ago, some short-term and some long-term.
And about how those plans – good and bad, successes and failures – become legacies.
Before I delve super deep into this, I’m going to warn you. I have a lot of thoughts. Like SO MANY. And they’ve been percolating since before 5x17. So, while I’m going to try to keep this as organized as possible, I’m not making any promises…
Oliver
“Felicity, before I met you, I had a plan. I had a way that I was gonna be.”
From the moment the Queen’s Gambit sank, Oliver had a plan. First, it was to survive, to honor his father’s sacrifice and to make it back to Starling City alive. Over time, that plan evolved, became more complicated – all before he ever stepped foot back in Starling City at the beginning of Season 1. It was hijacked, for better or worse, by Yao Fei, Shado, Slade, Ivo and Sara, Amanda Waller, Maseo, Amanda Waller (again), Reiter and Taina, Kovar, Anatoly, and finally by Talia. Survival transformed into a quest for justice, a determination to honor his father’s wishes and to save Starling City.
But Oliver’s plan wasn’t the only thing that changed. Oliver changed too. Surviving the sinking of the Queen’s Gambit, watching Sara disappear into the dark ocean, witnessing his father sacrifice himself and another would have been more than enough to change Oliver, to transform the careless and spoiled billionaire. But, for Oliver, that was only the beginning. Survival came at an immense cost. And those costs added up over time to a point where by the time Oliver arrived in Russia, he was having a really hard time seeing the forest through the trees.
No longer just a necessity, killing had become a habit. It had become a way to control situations he was in. And, rebounding off the guilt he felt from killing Vlad and then failing and killing Taina, it was easy to seek vengeance for their deaths by targeting Kovar. And then change became spiral. Oliver’s willingness to do whatever was necessary led him into the Bratva, where murder masqueraded as survival and every-man-for-himself masqueraded as brotherhood.
It’s ironic that Anatoly questioned Oliver’s deeds in 5x17 when his initiation into the Bratva in many ways was the final step – before Talia – of Oliver’s spiral into darkness. It was the final lesson in kill or be killed, in isolation as the best way to proceed.
So, when Talia finds Oliver, he’s ripe to be molded into a life of dual existence. Oliver’s capacity for killing is legitimized. It’s given a name, an identity where before it co-existed with the light that still lived inside Oliver Queen. Talia is as much to blame for the “monster” as she is for Oliver’s ability to do good as the Arrow. She may have trained him as the hero, but she also gave the “monster” the final push into existence.
But, as we know…best laid plans of men and monsters often go awry.
“…I was in darkness. But with your kindness, your generosity, your compassion, your intelligence, your wit, and your trust, you brought me into the light.”
When Oliver decided to return to Starling by way of Lian Yu he finally felt like he was ready to tackle the promise he had made to his father. Kovar was dead* and Talia had trained him to be a vigilante capable of getting things done and a man who could co-exist with his hooded darkness.
But after so long on an island and acting as a metaphorical island, Oliver forgot that life – family, friends, responsibilities, expectations, etc. – has a way of infiltrating everything you do. He did not return to Star City in a vacuum. And he could not have imagined that the life he was returning to – specifically the people he was closest to – was so closely embroiled in the conspiracy he would come to fight.
Quickly, however, cracks began to appear in Oliver’s darkness and his plan started to deviate. His life as the lone archer ended as first Diggle and then Felicity joined his team. The plan changed. He was still co-existing as two identities, but he’d let others into that life. The darkness – the “monster” – was ever so excruciatingly slowly becoming blurred. Diggle and Felicity challenged Oliver’s Hood identity and all the baggage that came with it.
And then Tommy died. And the plan changed again. Killing as a method of justice, of control was replaced with non-lethal methods. And Oliver’s adherence to that promise was a different way that he maintained control. But the plan kept changing and things got messy. But throughout that journey, two things remained the same:
Oliver never resolved his relationship with the “monster.” He never was able to reconcile his two identities into just one entity, something that Felicity highlighted at the end of Season 4 when she described Oliver as living within a schism. Oliver has been and still is at war with himself. He stopped killing in Season 2, but the two sides still existed. He rode off into the sunset with Felicity in 3x23, but the two sides still existed. He decided to run for Mayor, to do more, to be more in Season 4, but the two sides still existed. Those identities had evolved, the man who embodied them had changed, but they were still there at war with one another.
But, the man – the one deep, deep down – he hadn’t changed. He was still the man who loved his parents, who loved his sister, who loved his friends, who loved his city. He was still the man who wanted to do right by those he met, to do good.
He was still the man Diggle believed in from the very beginning.
He was still the man Felicity trusted.
“When I first met Oliver…he would ask me to do weird things for him…and when I would ask him why he would come up with these ridiculous excuses and I always knew he was lying but I would help him anyway…because I knew Oliver was a good person with a good heart.”
And in 3x17, Adrian Chase took that man and broke him. He made Oliver forget everything he’s accomplished. He made Oliver forget the light that had transformed his life over the course of five years.
And it made Oliver question his legacy – and the legacy of those Oliver was trying to uphold.
It’s easy to forget after 5 seasons and so much plot that at the crux of Oliver’s mission at the beginning of season 1 was not just one legacy, but three. Oliver’s crusade was as much about living up to the memories of Yao Fei and Shado as it was about keeping his promise to his father.
And Adrian Chase convinced Oliver that the “monster” that Talia had helped create, that had returned to Starling City with a single-minded mission in 2012 hadn’t changed at all. He made him doubt his worthiness.
“The Hood is who you are. You don’t think you deserve it? Fine. Work to become the man who does.”
He made him doubt whether he deserved anything more than darkness.
“…you brought me into the light. You let me know that I deserved it. You were that light.”
Now Oliver will need to battle back from the brink. He has been at his lowest of lows.
As we know, 3x17 was not Adrian Chase’s endgame. He wanted to break Oliver to the point that Oliver only had 2 choices: resort to attempting to kill Adrian in broad daylight as Oliver Queen. Or see that the only way to eliminate the threat of Prometheus is to kill himself.
Adrian Chase/Prometheus
But just like the deviation of Oliver’s plan over the course of 5 years will be his saving grace, so too will the deviation of Adrian’s plan be his downfall.
Tonight’s episode showed that while Adrian might be ten steps ahead of Oliver and Team Arrow, he couldn’t anticipate EVERYTHING. And while we may eventually learn that Helix is part of his plan and he did plan on Felicity, Adrian, much like Voldemort, has underestimated the lengths that the hero’s friends will go to to save his soul and defeat the villain.
And, furthermore, Adrian Chase himself has possibly forgotten that the very “lesson” he tried to teach Oliver applies directly to him too. When the “monster” is in control, mistakes are made. Because you get lost in the weeds.
Adrian, by the end of 5x18, has completely given in to his monster. But unlike Oliver, there isn’t a good man underneath his hood. The monster has taken over and overpowered the man completely.
Felicity
As much as she described Oliver as existing within a schism last year, Felicity is living within one this year too. She is living two identities, trying to be Overwatch and Ghost Fox Goddess at the same time. Felicity will never go DARK dark, because she will always possess that light. She’ll always be the bubbly, babbly genius that serves as one of Team Arrow’s moral compasses.
But after a year from hell, Ghost Fox Goddess made a resurgence.
Felicity had a plan. She was going to do good, she was a hacktivist. But that plan crumbled when Cooper warped their intentions.
A plan for a normal life replaced it, but that too changed when Oliver Queen walked into her cubicle and then wound up in the back seat of her car bleeding. And despite the bumps along the way, Felicity’s journey returned to an arc of being able to do good and effect real change in the world in which she lived.
She had power. She had control.
But those accomplishments and that arguably upward swing came crashing down in Season 4. She was shot, she lost her job, she made a devastating choice regarding Havenrock, her team disintegrated…
The power to effect change waned somewhat, her purpose was minimized, her confidence diminished. Her ability to protect disintegrated. Between Havenrock and Billy, death and destruction had finally touched her in a way it hadn’t before.
Her faith in the way things could be accomplished – had been accomplished – was shattered. She needed a new outlet. She needed her power and her influence back. And Helix has given that to her.
Felicity’s light is still there, her optimism is simmering under the surface…but it has taken a back seat. Now, Felicity is Team Arrow’s realist. She’s the doubter, the cynic.
She has lost patience with taking the time to do everything the absolute right way and is okay with cutting corners to get results faster and better.
We’ve always know Felicity was willing to go to any length to protect her team, particularly Oliver, but she’s never been so careless with her own safety and the consequences to not just her but also those around her.
This was all extremely clear tonight as Felicity left Team Arrow minus Oliver in the dust to go to Helix. Diggle is trying to be the optimist in 5x18. But Felicity is immediately the realist. She knows Oliver might come around, but she also knows it might be too late by the time he does.
Felicity knows Oliver. She knows that Chase got inside his head. She could see it immediately. He dressed his own wounds. He won’t let anyone near him. He can’t even look at her. She knows that he has shut completely down. She knows he’s not exaggerating. She knows that he’ll stop at nothing to keep Diggle, etc. from trying to keep Team Arrow going.
She doesn’t have faith that he’s going to come back from this, not in time to defeat Chase. And she is certain that he needs to meet his maker.
Helix has given Felicity her power back. And she’s going to wield it. Consequences be damned.
Anatoly
I wanted to briefly comment on Anatoly in this episode.
There was another layer to Anatoly and Oliver’s story tonight that I wasn’t expecting. As much as the Bratva’s present-day appearance in this episode was plot-driven, Anatoly’s presence was more complex. In 5x17, Anatoly questioned Oliver’s dual identity and also questioned where Oliver was headed with the increasing comfort in brutal murder and torture.
But, in 5x18, it became apparent that as much as Adrian Chase is a mirror to Oliver, so is Anatoly. When Oliver left Russia, Anatoly was a good man who had been thrust into a position of power. But, power is corrupting and Anatoly has not fared so well.
Indeed, as Oliver has shed darkness and embraced light over the course of five years, Anatoly has shed his light and embraced more and more darkness.
He has had to go dark in order to survive, much like Oliver did.
@scu11y22 @almondblossomme @ibelievenu @charlinert @callistawolf @dust2dust34 @dettiot @geniewithwifi @jbuffyangel @jedichick04 @nalla-madness @ohmypreciousgirl @supersillyanddorky06 @arrowgirl20
#arrow#arrow spoilers#arrow speculation#arrow meta#arrow 5x18#arrow 5x18 spoilers#oliver queen#felicity smoak#adrian chase#prometheus#anatoly#olicity#I'm With Arrow#imwitharrow
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Mafia/Hitman AU
In which Victor Nikiforov is a Man for Hire. Urban legends say that, for the right price (and sometimes just for kicks), he can single handedly pull off any job in the world. Beautiful, invincible and filthy rich.
Enter Katsuki Yuuri and it all goes to shit.
Inspired by this (x)
The Russian Skater. That's his professional title. It would be on a business card if that’s the kind of thing a clean cut, law abiding business man would go for, but that’s not usually his customer demographic. Victor considers wat he does an art and beauty plays an important role in the execution but more likely than not, the moniker is founded on his love for sharp blades and his demeanor of ice.
If you did a little extra digging though, those who knew Victor well enough called him Goldilocks. Partly because he had a knack for walking into a metaphorical bears den, messing about their property and somehow end up hopping out a window unscathed. Partly because his favourite switchblade is gold plated (because he’s just THAT Extra). Plus for the irony since, well… his hair.
Don’t let the cute nicknames fool you; he is an intelligence agent, a rogue spy, a mafia asset, an assassin, a business man, A Professional in every sense of the word. Call it what you want, the fact was: no one in the world is as good as he is. When you hire Victor Nikiforov, anything in existence can be yours… for a price.
With no family, no friends (friendly professional associates aside) and no relationships to speak of, Victor was untouchable. The closest to companionship was his guard dog, which isn’t exactly an easy target. Victor had no pesky emotional weak spots for enemies to prey on, and certainly none in technical skill. He had the perfect profile to be the best at what he does, and he undoubtedly was.
His long time affiliation with Yakov, a stoic old man rumoured to be ex intelligence for Russia’s defence sector gone AWOL, provided a steady stream of high profile jobs thanks to a list of former contacts. The payoff had proved to be very rewarding indeed but the thrill dwindled with each successful mission. The first big job had Victor riding an adrenaline rush for two days straight, the second was like chasing a first time high. Then the third and fourth, well you know how that works. At the rate things were going, Victor was looking at retirement at the end of the year.
That is, until Yakov presented Victor with the most lucrative task to date: Intel on a Japanese hot springs, potentially sitting on billions of dollars in the form of an untapped diamond mine. His client needs any dirt available that could legally shut the place down, of course illegally obtaining the deeds to the land could also work, the pay is the same either way.
Yakov gives him a briefing; Victor’s main target was the son of the family, a fresh faced 23 year old named Yuuri Katsuki. Their first meeting was to be a banquet dinner in Sochi for small time business owners looking to network internationally. The Katsuki family has been under a lot of pressure to sell their hot springs and must be looking for some powerful partnerships. This is where Victor comes in, a wolf in human clothing, the only thing left was to decide on was the costume. Victor spends some time debating on which angle he should play. Father figure? Older Brother? Best friend? But then he hears through some grapevine gossip that Yuuri Katsuki is inexperienced in love and a sucker for pretty boys, ah perfect.
This story has been told again and again and again, Victor knows it in every form imaginable. Happy endings, sad endings, open endings, unexpected ones and those who wait for an ending that may never come (which was arguably, in Victor’s opinion, the most realistic of them all).
Books and movies and everything in between trying to capture a Forbidden Love Story (those stupid people). Who believes in such fairytales these days, or better yet, who can afford to? Certainly not someone in Victor’s position. He scoffed at the tales of an unconditional and all consuming love between two people who otherwise led two separate and fully functional lives right up until the day they meet. These authors are selling fiction in its very definition, such a love does not exist and those who believe it deserve the disappointment a cut throat reality will inevitably bring. Victor knows this better than anyone else. I am all I need.
A story that’s been told again and again and again, and Victor knows it in every form imaginable. So he shouldn’t be surprised when Yuuri Katsuki gets inappropriately drunk to compensate for his lack of social skill and zeroes in on that gorgeous silver haired suit and tie eyeing him from across the room. Shouldn't be surprised when Yuuri leads Victor in a passionate tango that ends up with a slurred proposition to be business partners. Victor shouldn’t be surprised when his heartbeat picks up because Yuuri’s eyes sparkle in a way that reminds him of the diamond mines he suddenly wants nothing to do with.
Victor shouldn’t be surprised when he spends that night alone staring at the hotel ceiling, Yakov’s number pulled up on his burner phone, thumb hovering above the call icon. The phone screen fades out after two minutes but Victor stays in that position until sunrise. Victor shouldn’t be surprised because he knows what happens next.
Yakov knows something is wrong when he calls for an update. Victor plays it off as much as he can, yes I'm in. yes of course it’s under control, no he hasn’t forgotten about the pay, yes Victor is playing the lover, YES he is Just Playing, no this will not be the job that ruins him. Yakov hangs up on him mid sentence because they both know what happens next.
It happens as it always does, Victor cautiously steps into Yuuri’s life intending to get the job done, walk away with clean hands and a 7 digit pay cheque. But the Katsuki family welcomes him with open arms, and maybe Victor overhears Yuuri’s mom exclaiming that it’s about time he brought someone home, and maybe Victor just barely catches himself smiling for no one in particular.
Days then weeks then months pass, and Yuuri’s tightly wound armour of nerves unravels under Victor’s gentle prodding (this is just how it’s done) and his smiles are sweet so Victor reciprocates (this is just how it’s done), these are their roles and this is just how it’s done. Victor knows the next part involves throwing caution to the wind and falling head over heels in love with someone he’s not supposed to. He does exactly that.
They attend meetings with contractors and property managers and banks, the logistics of their hot springs is laid bare left and right. Victor purposefully blurs all the details in his memory (Yuuri! lets go out drinking to celebrate!), tells himself none of this can be used (everyone flubs the tax forms) and that it’s all (mostly) legitimate anyways.
Yakov’s phone calls get more frequent and more demanding, the deadline hangs ominously above Viktor’s head, he imagines the swoosh it makes when it falls. How does this story end again?
Yuuri pokes Victor on the swirl of his head where his hair is thinning, introduces him to pork cutlet bowls, bathes naked with him in the hot springs but refuses to share a bed the same night. Victor is more hurt than offended (his tactics haven’t failed to date), until Victor realizes he genuinely wants to spend the night with Yuuri and then he’s just scared.
They kiss one night after a fight, Yuuri has an ugly crying face and Victor never wants to see it again. Then they kiss again another time and sleep with the hotel beds pushed together for a business trip. They make a habit out of that when travelling. Sometimes they hold hands and get food together and go skating and Yuuri gets miffed when Victor is careless with his charms.
Then, the night before a big appointment with the loan manager (the business is losing money but it’s still a family thing), Yuuri buys a pair of gold wedding rings for… good luck and jams one on Victor’s ring finger. Well, anything for good luck, Victor tells him knowing exactly what it means and puts a matching one on Yuuri’s trembling right hand. There is no conflict to where Victor’s loyalties lie, none, even though that’s not how the story goes. He is losing his place in the plot, the gold ring usually doesn’t come until the closing act, right?
On the day of the meeting, Victor and Yuuri are sat in the waiting area of a posh bank in Da Lian and Yuuri is visibly anxious. The future of their multi generational family business is more or less dependent on the next 30 minutes and Victor wants nothing more than to hear the word approved. Forget Yakov, forget the job, Victor wants to see Yuuri happy and he’ll fork over the money himself if that’s what it comes down to. They’ve spent the better part of a year fighting for this and Victor cannot remember the last time any job, regardless of pay stirred this kind of desperate burning inside his chest.
They both hold Styrofoam cups with lukewarm instant coffee, they both sip on it purely for the distraction. The room is silent except for the tick tick tick of an unseen clock and Victor is a patient man but seeing Yuuri like this was not something he’d like to do for one more tick. The room is too warm and Victor is actually starting to feel a little nauseous, he turns to Yuuri but the floors are tilting and the edges of his vision is blurring and…..
When Victor wakes up, he’s sat on the tarmac outside leaning against a brick wall. It’s drizzling and there's puddle under his thigh so his pants are uncomfortably wet. There’s a sour smell, like garbage left in the sun too long, it’s really not helping with the residual nausea. Victor’s mind fog clears up fast enough for him to realize he’s in the back alley between a clump of industrial buildings. Oh, Victor thinks, I’m usually on the other side of this situation which means…
“Vitya.” Yakov says (is that…pity?)
“You’re awake. I’m sure it’s been a long day, we can debrief tomorrow.”
Yakov is walking away and Victor is asking something he doesn’t want to hear the answer to.
“Where is he? Where is Yuuri Katsuki?”
This story has been told again and again and again, Victor knows it in every form imaginable. He also knows the happy endings exist in the vacuum of fiction and divine miracles for stories like his. But Yuuri Katsuki exists in the same realm as fairytales and divine miracles, this story can’t end here. It just can’t. Not Yuuri, not HIS Yuuri whereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhe-
Yakov takes a long hard look at him (it is definitely pity) and slowly pulls out an standard, white envelope. There is no doubt a plane ticket and his payment in full, too bad Victor wants none of it. He makes no move to take it, he doesn’t want it, he didn’t finish the job, he doesn’t even want the job anymore please just tell me where Yuuri is. please please please please please the story doesn’t end here it doesnt please where is he where is yuuri please please
Yakov can read Victor every bit as good as a flashing neon sign but in the end, business is business. “He is where he is supposed to be.”
Sorry, you knew the risks.
“Your job is complete, Vitya. Go home.”
------
Yuuri doesn’t know where he is, what day it is, or why he can't see out of his left eye. The last thing he remembers is the waiting room, the warmth radiating from Victor next to him, the funny tasting coffee and then nothing. There’s a steady drip drip drip, he wonders if it’s water, blood or sweat. He wonders where Victor is and if he’s in pain.
Yuuri almost laughs to himself, this scene is something out of a movie. The dark damp room with no windows, a single flickering light bulb, being tied to a folding chair while a faceless man with a crowbar works out some deep seated psychological issues on Yuuri himself, no doubt.
The man asks about the land deed to Yu-topia, he says Victor was an undercover agent sent to obtain those papers, that none of it was real and Yuuri has been played and betrayed.
Well the ring on my finger says otherwise.
Yuuri is glad they cuffed his hands behind the chair, it meant he was free to run his thumb across the gold band on his ring finger, it grounded him. If this is how he dies then…so much for a good luck charm. I guess it was an engagement ring after all.
Yuuri tells the man that he knows better than to trust someone who’s beating the shit out of him with a crowbar. Which of course earns him another loving strike across his collarbone.
“Still not talking huh?”
Drip drip.
Yuuri closes his eyes and goes back…
-----
It’s sunny and Victor invited him out to get brunch, they eat at a little Italian cafe. This was the first time Yuuri agreed to meet Victor without any pretense of business, this was a date. Victor tells him about the time he spent abroad in Italy, about the bits of Italian that stick to his memory, about why it really deserves a place amongst the romantic languages. When they leave, Victor is humming a tune with a little smile. “Stammi vicino, non te ne andare” Victor sings, and Yuuri asks him what it means.
Victor blushes, looks away and says, “Stay close to me, and never leave.”
Yuuri smiles.
Okay. I can do that.
Full version on AO3 (x)
#yuri on ice#victuri#yuri!!! on ice#yoi#victor nikiforov#yuuri katsuki#yuri katsuki#mafia au#hitman au#currently WIP but can be read as stand alone#full version on Ao3
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Hi of COURSE I want you to do the character ask with Damian. Please.
HELLO tumblr user missangorian, annie, my sweet friend and mutual!!!!! i saw this ask and immediately had to sit down and go to my computer to answer it Right because damian is my son. towards that end, i’ll be composing this answer with e28 in mind. thank u for this question, i apprecaite it and i lvoe you
why i like them: ha ha ha!!!!!!! i was recently scrolling thru my dc blog @cassbats and tbh found a post about this where i was like, sure, i found damian during a very vulnerable time in my life so yeah we Trauma Bonded, but also, like, at that time i was having extreme difficulty feeling compassion and forgiveness for my former self, so damian’s arc of like… learning that the things he went thru weren’t his fault and were DONE to him but no longer rule him was really vital to my #healing in that period of my life. in addition to that, i have a tendency to love self-loathing boys who go on an arc to discover everything they thought they knew about themselves/the world was Wrong, and who then have to remake themselves/their worldview on their own. damian definitely fell into that category. because i took ownership of him in a way i’ve never done with any other character (which was easy to do because of the nature of comics; other characters of this ilk include peter wiggin, arguably roy mustang, and regulus black), he really became an expression of Me like none other. and i learned to love him! and during that process, learned how to have compassion for Oneself and for feeling and respecting the Bad Feelings and thoughts i had. so i love damian because he helped me learn to love myself i guess tldr!!
why i don’t: well, as far as canon goes, it’s always going to be difficult to separate damian from the evil mother of color / good white father dichotomy, tho i try very hard to complicate it in e28. i hate that grant morrison thinks he Owns damian and i hate that fandom is preoccupied with a version of damian that didn’t last past 10 issues in canon. in regards to e28, i don’t like that damian has this paradox of violence within him - he’s so Afraid of violence, but he’s also pulled Towards it in many ways, which creates the crux of his struggle for many years. is it a metaphor for my own struggle with dealing with my anger and feeling shame and hate over its presence even when i put so much effort and work into purging it from my soul? mayhaps
favorite episode: haha well my fav appearance of damian is either him in streets of gotham when he’s playing chess with hush or in the amazing arc where bruce finally comes back. he’s so afraid in his bones of being separated from dick, but dick barely notices cuz he’s so Hype to potentially have bruce back. and then he’s so ashamed of what he did even tho it was literally his mother controlling him - so good! in e28, arguably my favorite damian appearance is victis honor, cuz it was an early e28 piece and it def set the tone for bruce/damian interactions since
fav season: uhh see above
favorite line: IF I WERENT A HAIR PAST TIPSY ID REMEMBER BETTER AND GIVE YOU A GOOD ASS ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!
i’m gonna go with
Damian didn’t answer for a moment. Then, slowly, he got to his feet. “I understand that,” he announced, with some finality. “But…I don’t think it’s right to remove your own feelings out of these kinds of situations. I think that’s how you end up like Batman.” “And that’s a bad thing?” “It’s the worst thing,” he told her, his gaze flickering over to her. “A terrible option. The bad ending.”
otp: damian/ellen what’s up!!!!!!!!!! they are a great otp and what i love about them is that they both like, acknowledge that they are flawed and put Work into loving each other, in a way that damian never had the Responsibility to do with irey or any of his previous relationships
brotp: is this even a QUESTION???? lian of course!!!!!!!! lian is his best friend in the entire world, no one understands him like she does and they love each other so much
headcanon: can i just rec the entirety of e28!!!!! two of my particular favorite headcanons are #1 he’s vegetarian (I WROTE THAT BEFORE MORRISON DID!!!!!!!) and #2 he’s got one ear pierced
unpopular opinion: stop!!!!!!!! having him call dick “grayson” or “richard”!!!!!!! they’re brothers!!!!!!!!! he can call him dick!!!!!!!!!!!
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