#like yes it got a proper ending which is more than a lot of show can say especially from that time period

[autumnrory]

i keep feeling like i'm gonna have another season of ugly betty to watch and i DON'T i'm so sad about it

[personasintro]

Romance Is Not Dead | jjk

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; it’s valentine's day and you're single

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: brother's best friend!jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst (?)

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mentions of sex (it's mentioned quite a lot), reader's brother is kinda dick, alcohol usage, men (that deserves a warning alright), drunk people (it's a party), angst (?) honestly I'm not sure if there's any angst but it's a story with a few realistic topics that are kinda sad if you think about it, it's not your average fluff story lol

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.7k+

a/n: happy valentine's day! mind you this was supposed to be a short drabble like around 2k lol, I had no proper idea of where this will go and somehow I ended up with quite a long story haha. but I'm happy I got more into writing, I wasn't expecting writing this much. if there are any mistakes, please ignore them hehe. I rushed to post it so I could make it on february 14th. I don't know what even is this story but i hope you enjoy it hahah don't forget to like and reblog ♡

“Argh! Who even invented Valentine's Day?”

The groan that leaves your mouth – or more like a loud complaint – rolls around the room, not stopping you from tossing your bag on the kitchen's table to show your annoyance more than actual anger.

“Hello to you too, sis.” Your brother throws a peace sign your way, not particularly fazed by the lack of greeting on your side.

From your peripheral vision you could easily tell they're right there. Your brother and his best friend have been best friends since high school, they go way back and somehow, they've managed to stay super close till now. It's quite admirable, you have to admit. You don't think you've ever seen or heard them fight. Overall, their friendship seems to be more relaxed in this sense than most girls' friendships.

Yes, that mostly happens between guys. They're not as dramatic or bitchy as some girls can be. God. None of your current friends are your friends from high school. You've parted ways eventually.

However, the amount of drama free that's clearly not present in their precious brotherhood is equalized with loud burps, unfiltered talks about girls and sex through male eyes. You would've mentioned farting but luckily, you haven't heard your brother's best friend to be that nasty in front of you. Which can't be said about your brother but well, that's a part of having a sibling – regardless of their gender.

It's quite cliché.

Your brother's older, therefore he's protective yet loves to embarrass you at any chance. He thinks he's all that and sometimes, it feels like he thinks he's your third parent. That's what's more annoying – perhaps even more than overrated Valentine's Day. 

“Did someone decline you on Valentine's Day?”

There he goes again.

Teasing you. It's a never-ending circle. Luckily, you've grown resistant to his pathetic attempts to embarrass you – especially when his friends are present. Yeah, your brother can be a dick and you're not afraid to tell him.

Though, you don't stick to the names and curses and instead turn it into something more powerful. 

Scoffing, you swipe your hair back and give him a look. “Please, look at me.”

“I am, that's why I asked.” 

You waste no time in grabbing one of the stupid empty cans he always has laying around and throw it at him. Did you mention he can be a pig sometimes?

Your aim has gotten way better throughout the years and when he curses at you once it hits the side of his head, you smile happily. His friend chuckles at the two of you, lifting the can that has fallen onto the floor and sets it on the table.

“Yeah, and that's why you chase every man that comes my way.” you comment, knowing well damn you're right. 

He frowns, “Those men can hardly be called men, sis.”

“Well, bro, I wouldn't know since you like to be the pain in my ass.” you smile at him tightly, seeing him looking before he goes back to playing one of his stupid video games. “Not that I have a man to look up to in the first place.”

They've been doing that a lot. Lame. 

His best friend's snort turns into a laughter that he barely gets to hold in. That makes you smile because you see it as a success in getting back at your brother. And perhaps your little crush you've had on him has something to do with it. But we don't talk about it.

Your brother glares at him but he's not affected, not even a bit. It's hard to put it into words or make any definition, but he's always been slightly more… intimidating? He has an aura around him that makes you appreciate even a little reaction from him. 

It's humorous. You've known him for years, merrily just from always seeing him next to your brother (because there were never other opportunities), yet it feels like you barely know anything about him. Even though he used to occupy your living room almost every day. And today doesn't feel much different. The only difference is that none of you live at your parents' house. 

“Who hurt you today?”

“Don't be a dick. I can be a bitch too.” you remind him sweetly, leaning forward against the kitchen counter and grab a grape that lays in a single bowl. Probably the only healthy thing he has in this kitchen. 

He flips you off and frowns once he doesn't win the game. Karma. “Anyway, are you gonna tell us why you came here so annoyed or you're gonna eat?”

“I can do both,” you shrug. “I just don't get the hype about Valentine's Day.”

“Oh, you asked who invented it? Probably a pair of groupies in love.”

You roll your eyes, “I don't think that's it.”

“It's about romance. It's romantic, sis.”

You snort, “And how would you know anything about romance?”

He chuckles cockily as if the next words he says is something to be proud about; “I don't. But the girl I fucked said something about it.”

“Ew!” you gag, stopping yourself from reaching for another grape. “You're gross sometimes.”

“You don't talk about sex with your friends? C'mon, it's normal.”

“Yeah, with my friends. Not in front of you.” you justify. 

“Jesus, we didn't have to hear that.” Your brother scolds you, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of you talking about sex. 

You sometimes make sex jokes in front of him just to mess with him. It's pretty funny and it never gets old. You don't do it often though, but perhaps you should. 

“I hear only you complaining.” you sign out, pointing out the obvious and for the first time since you've arrived, you give proper attention to his best friend. 

He's been awfully quiet. What's there for him to say anyway? You and your brother bicker most of the time, no matter how old you are. He's pretty much used to it by now. He just stuck to playing the game and other than cackling at your previous comment, he's been quiet. You hate that you're slightly annoyed by the lack of attention he gives you. Not that you're an attention seeker or desperate for his attention.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out he sees you as his best friend's little sister. Even though you're not as little as when he first met you. 

“JK is the last person who wants to hear your complaints.”

“Why don't you let JK speak for himself?” you question, a little edge to your tone as your brother huffs out, muttering something under his breath – obviously aimed at you.

“Chill out, you two.” he mutters, voice slightly deeper than you remember it even though the last time you've seen him was last month. It has a little rasp to it and you wish your eyes wouldn't glue to him automatically. 

He lays comfortably on the couch, man spreading with a game controller sitting in his lap while his big thumbs rest comfortably against the buttons. You might've mentioned you are not friends with people from a high school anymore, but you have friends. One who would kill for a moment to spend with your brother's best friend. Just to be in his close proximity.

Though, it's no secret he's not any better than most guys his age – including your own brother. In a weird way, you love your brother (even though you wouldn't probably ever say it out loud because he's a weirdo and he would just make fun of you), but you can easily tell he's not someone you would ever want to end up with. Personality and morally wise, of course. 

He surrounds himself with people with the same values, or the lack of. 

And perhaps, it's one of the reasons why you suddenly got annoyed because of today's day. February 14th. You're the type that simply brushes off any guy who comes your way that you don't have any interest in. There's no need for your brother. He's a dick and he chases the ones that might not be husband material, but they're hot and charming. You're not necessarily looking for a marriage. God. You're too young. You don't want to be the one that gets locked in a marriage with someone they just met. 

Definitely you don't want to get knocked up either. Fuck, they're so many scenarios that run inside your head. Ones you don't want to live in. 

Regardless of your current stance when it comes to your life and relationships, you're still romantic. All of your friends have dates today. Any other day or year, you wouldn't even think of it – but you've seen everything in the shape of a heart today. Not mentioning there's everyone kissing and hugging at every corner of the street. 

And you didn't get a discount on your cake because you were alone with no partner around. Who does that? That's discrimination!

Valentine's Day is overrated. Maybe you think that way because you're single. Have been for too long. And while you don't necessarily miss it, you kind of crave for someone's affection and touch. It's not even about sex. 

“Listen, we're having a party tonight. I wouldn't normally invite you–”

“Wow, thanks.”

He shoots you a glare again before he continues, “But seeing you so miserable, maybe you could come too.”

“Party? Is this another one of your gangbang parties?”

“I have never been a part of that, stop calling my parties that.”

“There are literally hundreds of people who are there to hook up.” you inform him.

He snickers, “That's like every party.”

You lift up your eyebrows, not quite believing him. It's like every party he hosts or is invited to. People his age make parties slightly less wild. Not that he's too old but still. He's acting and living too wild for his age. 

“I'm not hosting it.”

“Who is?”

“JK here.” His brother says, head motioning toward the man next to him. “I'm sure you don't mind that I'm inviting her.”

The said man looks at his brother, shrugging. “I don't.”

“Well?” Your brother looks back at you. “Are you coming?”

“Are you gonna chase everyone that comes my way? Y'know, my friends are all having dates and if I don't wanna spend tonight alone, I would rather have fun.”

“You're allowed to come. And yeah, probably I will.”

“You're a douche. I'm an adult, stop treating me like a child.”

Your brother sighs, already knowing what argument is about to come. It's about the same stuff every time. 

“I'm doing it for your own good. The people that are gonna be there, guys that are gonna be there are like us, sis.”

There's a certain softness behind his voice, though it still stays vigorous as if he's trying to get something through your thick head. You know all of that, though. You know he doesn't hang out with the best people. But they're just dicks. And they're thinking with dicks. But you can take care of yourself. Besides, he's going to be there as well. 

JK, or Jungkook like you refer to him in your head, briefly looks at you. But you spot it and stare at him as his eyes drift to your brother. “You can't protect her forever.”

“That's something an asshole would say.”

“I never said I'm not one. But let her have her fun.”

“You know what? Don't come. I don't want you there.” Your brother stands up and shoots you a glare before he walks away. 

God! He's such a dick!

JK chuckles and you realize you've been frowning this whole time. You hear the door slam close and you scoff. “He's such a child.”

You eye him with no embarrassment whatsoever, tracing all the tattoos he has gotten throughout the years. The white shirt fits his torso perfectly, even though it's oversized his muscles peak through. 

Your friend told you he's at the gym almost every day. It sure looks like that. 

He suddenly stands up and you straighten automatically, watching him make his way toward you but not before tossing the game controller on the couch. He stays on the other side of the table, reaching for one of the grapes while still staring at you. 

God. He's doing something purposely.

For the first time today, your confidence slightly falters but you do your best not to show it. You stare as he pops one of the grapes into his mouth and chews on it. 

“You're still invited. That's if you still wanna come.”

You blink, “But my brother–”

“Is like a child sometimes. You're gonna be fine there.”

Gulping, you mutter; “How are you so sure?”

He doesn't answer but there's a small smirk playing on his lips. “You would still come, wouldn't you? Just to piss him off.”

That causes you to let out a soft chuckle because yes, he's right about that. Your brother needs to understand you're not a child. “I would.”

“Alright, then come.”

You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue and lift your brow, “I will.”

You will go to the party. Even if your brother would burn down the city.

One of the few things you've learned about your brother's best friend – Jungkook – is that he comes from a wealthy family. You know he got his own place in the city center, that alone tells you he's got money. Whether they come from his parents or by his own hard work is unknown to you. Either way, it's quite clear he's always been slightly privileged than most kids your age.

You've never been to his parents' house. There was never a reason for you to go there, plus, you're not your brother and he didn't exactly bring his little sister with him whenever he went somewhere. The only time he would have to spend time with you alone was when he had to babysit you. But you would always stay home and he would let you know how annoyed he is because of that.

A typical teenager who wanted to chase girls and experience his first hook-ups rather than having to babysit his little sister who was born with sharp tongue and big mouth. You're probably his karma for all the hearts he already managed to break. 

Anyway – you know JK's parents' house is settled up the hill, away from the city and in a rich area where all the big houses were built. You've never seen it, hence your first reaction when you spotted a huge gate and a house that looks more like a mixture between mansion rather than a small family house.

Before he parted ways a few hours ago when you last saw him, he gave you the address. Seems like you've arrived just in time. There are many people, outside and inside – everywhere. It looks like the college parties you get to see in movies but more upgraded.

The thing about you is that you would never go to a party alone. Even if two people you know are here. Well, your brother still doesn't know you're here and he's about to get pissed once he sees you. Suddenly, the idea to piss him off doesn't seem so alluring.

But this house – or mansion or whatever this building is called – is the only place that is not filled with heart balloons. They might be couples and strangers that are glued to each other, the romance is simply not present. It's nasty and explicit to a certain extent. 

A part of you is disgusted at how easy some people seem to be, letting themselves to be groped by strangers, but there's something alluring. Perhaps even more than doing this just to prove a point to your brother. 

You don't get a chance to look around the place, since it's crowded and you're trying not to get shoved into, you're looking for a bigger space and maybe something to drink. You make it into the main room it seems. A huge couch in the shape of U looks massive but it fits into the big room perfectly. There are people everywhere and there's not a single space on the couch. However, once you make it closer and spot a tiny space, it's all forgotten and your vision naturally travels to the couple sitting there. 

You would spot those tattoos everywhere.

Jungkook's there. And a woman sitting on his lap as you see them making out explicitly, tongues brushing against each other. Alright, a part of you envies the woman but looking around and seeing more of them staring in slight irritation and jealousy, you're not alone. You scrunch your nose at them not caring and just making out with each other in front of everyone. There's no way they don't know everyone's eyes are on them. The guys ignore them though. It's mostly women.

The one that sits on his lap and seems to be ready to jump his bones, is wearing a tiny top and mini skirt. You can see her panties and you feel embarrassed to witness the tiny piece of underwear. Well, she doesn't seem to care.

His hand is on her waist, gripping it tightly as he pulls away and mutters something into her lips. She giggles, all her attention focused on him. 

Despite knowing him for years, you've never seen him in this element. And maybe that's what your brother didn't want you to see. Not even Jungkook but everyone here. You've witnessed a few parties, but this one is completely on another level. It looks straight out of a movie and perhaps completely out of your comfort zone. 

But you don't leave. You stick in your spot and just stare at your brother's best friend flaunting his charm all around him, but mostly aimed at the woman on his lap. 

Since your brother that eventually came out of the bathroom told you to get out, you've decided to come after all and give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe not exactly the same but that's why you chose one of your tight dresses. They're not special. Just a dress that almost every woman owns. But this one has thin straps and you don't get to wear a bra in it, that's how tight it is. It's the only clothing you're wearing, minus the panties of course. 

You look good. You know you do and that's why you chose this outfit particularly. You thought the heels are perhaps too much, but luckily you opted for them instead of your sneakers. Everyone seems to be dressed like they're in a club. Not even one outfit on a woman here looks completely comfortable. And they show more skin when they wear clothing. Not that you're judging. You're not the one to talk.

And you know this choice of clothing is not only a magnet for eyes, but for unwanted touches you were counting on eventually. It's sad but it's the truth. That's why you never come alone to these things. You always have your friends with you. You would kick asses for each other and overall, you feel more protected and safe. 

The hand that slaps your ass – that definitely looks good in this dress – causes you to turn and twist your face in anger. You spot a wasted man that smiles stupidly as if he did something cute. You shove him in the chest causing him to stumble into a few people who start to curse at him and complain.

“Touch me one more time and I will fucking kick your ass.” you spit at him. 

Your ass might look good but that's not an open invitation for strangers or anyone to touch you unwillingly. 

He gains his balance and his drunk features twist into anger. You see it. He's angry because you're not all over his dick because he touched you. First of all, he's not even hot. And he's wasted out of his mind. There's nothing hot about it. 

He doesn't make it too close because you push him again, causing him to fall this time.

“You bitch!” he yells, having a trouble to stand up and you cover your mouth to shield the giggle that makes it out. 

One of the guys that he stumbled into turns around, ready to curse. But as your eyes lock, all the amusement fades away and your eyes widen in a sudden fear. Shit.

It takes a moment for your brother to register that it's you – perhaps the exposed skin causes him to widen his eyes too before they twist into anger.

“What the fuck.”

“I was invited.” you automatically argue, yelping once he makes his way toward you and grabs you by your forearm. He kicks the bastard that still tries to stand up and starts leading you elsewhere. No, he's not leading you but dragging you with him.

It's not the initial reaction you had in mind. You wanted to smirk, to show him that you're here and there's nothing you can do about it. But that's out of the picture because in the end, you're just a little girl that maybe loves to piss off her brother, but once you truly piss him off you back away.

That realization causes your anger to come back and you dig your heels into the wooden floor, trying to get out of his hold. “Stop squeezing me like that!”

“Would you like to be squeezed by strangers?!” He yells over the music, both of you stopping next to a staircase.

It already happened, you wanted to say but decide to stay quiet.

He couldn't see what the stranger did to you. He only saw the man falling and stumbling into him. So the fact that he's this pissed off to see you here without even seeing what happened just minutes ago, makes you think he needs a psychiatrist. What would he do if he saw what happened?

“Maybe I want that!” you yell at him. “And there's nothing you can do about it!”

He pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to calm down. “What are you doing here.”

“I told you. I was invited.”

“I uninvited you.”

You scoff, “It's not your party, you moron.”

“JK invited you?”

“Yeah.” you shrug just to piss him off some more.

He stares at you for a moment, glaring but you glare back before he shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “Fine. But you're not leaving my side.”

You scoff but he grabs your shoulders tightly. 

“I mean it.”

“Stop touching me.” You slap his hands away, his touch fading away as you're about to open your mouth to curse at him some more.

Before you can do it, someone nudges him from the left side. Your brother is about to pounce but once he sees his best friend in the flesh, he stays down but not before he's reminded of what you told him. 

“What are you doing.” He questions your brother but he just scoffs in return.

“You invited her?”

Jungkook rolls his lip piercing as he shrugs, “I did.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Me? You invited her first if I recall.” 

Your brother stares at his friend in disbelief before he glances at you. You shrug, lifting your brown. 

“You two are fucking unbelievable.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, probably thinking your brother is just dramatic. Which he is. While they're too busy arguing, you don't pay attention to anything that's being said. You shamelessly eye Jungkook, spotting how blurry his lips are from the make out session you witnessed a while ago. He's got a similar outfit like you've seen him during the day. The only difference is that he's wearing all black. 

“Listen you two, I will stay out of your sight, okay?”

“No fucking way!” Your brother argues while Jungkook sighs in exhaustion. 

“I'm just gonna have a few drinks and meet new people.”

“These people are not for you to meet or be friends with.”

“Who said anything about being friends?” you mutter, causing your brother to curse at you once more.

“No–” He stops you before you can interrupt him, “You invited her, so you will look after her.”

“Me?” JK frowns, disliking the idea. While you would be slightly offended by the lack of interest when it comes to you, you're also irritated that your brother here is acting the same. Only this time he's giving the responsibility to Jungkook. 

“Yes, you! You invited her, so you'll watch over her tonight. If anything happens to her, I will personally kill you,” 

God. He's so full of himself. If Jungkook wanted, he could knock him out with one punch. But you don't say it to hurt his male ego and boost Jungkook's one. It seems they're full of ego. 

“And I'm not joking.”

He brushes past you two and leaves angrily. To probably shove his tongue down to any first girl he sees. 

And from the looks of it Jungkook looks like he would rather much do the same. But then he looks at you, reminded of his current responsibility. You. 

“Listen–you don't have to look after me–I can handle my–”

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

He stares you down, not in the creepy way to stare at your body but almost looking for anything that could give him answers to his question.

“I've seen what happened.”

“You've seen it?” you breathe out, “I'm fine.”

“You sure?”

“I handled it.” you grit through your teeth.

“You did,” he agrees much to your surprise. “Or maybe you were just lucky.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” You trash with your hands, but he catches your wrist. Gently. But he has his hold on you and your breath catches in your throat. He pulls you closer.

“What if it was someone who wouldn't be so wasted? Hm?”

You gulp, glancing at his lips for a split second before you find his dark eyes on yours. “It happened with people around us. Someone would step in.”

He scoffs, “Don't count on it too much.”

“They would–”

“Some of them. Not all of them,” he informs you. 

You're reminded that he knows these parties. He knows how it's going. And while no one would mess with him personally, it doesn't mean everyone is as safe as him. Let alone any women. That much you've realized and you haven't even been here for a half an hour. 

“What if he waited until you're drunk to take you somewhere else?”

You breathe out shakily, “Stop.”

“What if he dragged you upstairs? And that's just the start of what he might've done.”

“Fucking stop.” you warn him with your eyes but he doesn't budge. 

He tames you like you're a fucking dog.

“Your brother's right. You're staying with me.”

“And staring at you making out all night?”

You shut your mouth as soon as your response gets out. Jungkook tilts his head tiniest bit to the side and the corner of his mouth lifts up. “You were watching.”

“It was hard not to. Everyone was watching.”

“That's not an excuse.”

You inch closer, licking your lips. “It wasn't supposed to be.”

He stares at your lips before his touch disappears and so its warmth does. “You're not leaving my side.”

You scoff but he glares at you which surprisingly shuts you up. 

“I can give you alcohol, you can have fun. But you're not leaving my side.”

“You're worse than my brother.” That's a stretch and you both know it, but you've never seen Jungkook acting like this. He never really cared. He never had to in the first place. That's what your brother was for. 

He inches closer, hovering over you like only his presence can. “I can be worse.”

And somehow, that sounds like a promise. Once he motions for you to follow him, you do like a lost poppy with gritted teeth and anger bubbling inside you. But you don't disobey. Perhaps it's the shock or the weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you buzz with excitement. 

Fuck. 

It's not hard not to have a crush on someone like Jungkook. He's hot, he's confident but not in the way where he's full of himself. He has every reason to be confident.

And just like he promised, he has managed to give you drinks that surprisingly taste good. They're not too strong and something tells you he purposely picked those out for you. You don't complain. They don't cause you to make grimaces at every gulp and you can feel yourself relax. In the corner your brother watches you with glare, reminding you of something that should feel like punishment. 

Perhaps it does.

Jungkook has you seated next to him, back on the couch. The woman he made out with sits on the opposite side, sending daggers next to you. You roll your eyes very publicly, scoffing and making sure she sees you. 

“JK, can we go somewhere else?” You hear her annoying sweet voice, while Jungkook himself looks slightly irritated that he has you on his watch. “Upstairs?” she suggests.

“Sorry, love, can't.”

She huffs out, “Why? Because you're babysitting?”

You move sideways to face her, leaning through Jungkook as you glare at her. “Maybe he just doesn't want your tongue shoved in his mouth.”

Jungkook sighs, lifting his hand to your collarbones to move you back but you don't budge. 

“Oh yeah? He wants more than that.” she informs you. 

“God, you're so desperate.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Behave.” Jungkook warns you, pushing slightly harder and finally, you plop back onto your spot and fume with arms crossed. 

“Tell your bitch to behave.”

“Y/N.” Jungkook warns through his teeth. You stop, realizing that this is the first time he said your name. Still fuming, you give him a glare before standing up.

“What did you just call me?”

“Come on.” Jungkook stands up too before you can make things worse and he's going to be caught up in a girls fight. This is not the night he planned.

He doesn't drag you like your brother did. He still rests his hand against your back and leads you in a direction. You don't protest. You want to but anything's better than being in the blonde's presence one more second. 

When you realize you're standing next to your brother who's leaning against the wall, watching the two of you with a knowing and quite pleased smirk. 

“Dude. That's enough.”

“Are you having any issue with my sis, JK?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “You made your point.”

“No, I don't think I have.”

“You two are annoying.” he sighs, closing his eyes.

“Excuse me? What have I done?” you exclaim, hand on your chest as he gives you a knowing look that shuts you up.

It's more than clear. Jungkook has brought you to your brother, so he could deal with you rather than he has to. It bruises your ego, but only slightly because you don't let any guy do any permanent damage. But you have to be honest. It's slightly embarrassing how he wants to shake you off. Clearly his plans for tonight have been different and watching the blondie still waiting for him patiently makes your night even worse, knowing what exactly he had planned. 

“You made me a huge cockblocker, bro.” you interrupt their bickering. It feels refreshing not to be the one bickering with your brother. 

Which reminds you that for the first time, you actually see them in some sort of argument even though it's not exactly a fight. Your brother as always is a pain in the ass and Jungkook's now experiencing it. You don't understand why Jungkook just doesn't let you go? Why did he insist on having you by his side at all times? 

Most likely, he doesn't want to piss off your brother.

Jungkook throws you yet another glare, but you brush him off pretty easily. “It's not about that.”

You give him a look which makes him groan.

“It's not just about that.”

And then they continue again. Your brother complains about your presence here, blames Jungkook rather than your own decision to come. He knows you. He knows you've done it to mess with him and it worked. But he expected better from Jungkook. 

You don't want to hear any second of it any longer. You don't wait for Jungkook's response, not even when you see his frown deepen and you know he's getting angrier by every word your brother spits in his face.

Using the tiny chance where they don't pay you any attention, you distance yourself from them. When you're in a safe distance and are not stopped by one of them, you make a run for it. Grabbing a wine bottle from someone's hold, ignoring them complaining, you make it upstairs and try to find a place where you can be alone. Before they find you.

You know once they notice you're not there, they'll be looking for you. Well, your brother will for sure. Even though he can be a dick, he's worried. But let him. That's what he gets for not letting you enjoy tonight. 

Passing by people who either mingle or make out, you try a few doors that are locked. Wise decision. Another reason why Jungkook seems to know how these parties go. It seems almost impossible to find a place where no one is. 

Just when you become tired and desperate, you make it to the quieter part of the house. It's weird because there are people everywhere. It's impossible to find somewhere quiet and empty. 

Luckily for you, you end up in a room that seems to be some sort of office. It's medium sized, definitely not one of the biggest rooms in this massive house, but still bigger than your kitchen and room together. 

It seems Jungkook has forgotten to lock this room. There's nothing special about it though. But he definitely doesn't want anyone to have sex on the wooden desk you pass by. There are a few shelves with books and a lamp, but other than that it's pretty empty. Oh, and there's a small couch. It looks expensive but it seems like they've brought it here just to put it somewhere. Not that it doesn't fit in here.

But it definitely doesn't look as expensive as the furniture you've managed to see in your short stay here. What has it been? Two hours? Two awful hours and no fun. 

Making it onto a small balcony, you sigh in relief when you find it open. It's facing the back of the house and your mouth drops when you see a fountain, pool and a garden in the distance. He's filthy rich. His parents are.

Sitting on the cold ground, you take a sip of the wine. Your features scrunch in disgust but you force yourself to drink. It's more from the whole annoyance and anger you've been feeling ever since you came here.

Maybe they were right.

This place is not for you.

You have no idea how long you end up sitting there. 

You just stare, hearing the blasting music in the distance and the chatter of people. You wonder if any neighbor called the police on him. But they're in the distance, probably they don't hear it as much.

There's a forest around you. There are no cars, no barking and no city noise. You wonder how this place feels like when there's no party. It must be calm and relaxing.

“Here you are.”

You hear it as soon as the balcony door slides open, ignoring the hint of annoyance in his voice as you take another gulp.

“You can't disappear like that!”

You chuckle, “Really? Watch me.”

“Your brother went crazy when you disappeared.”

“Sounds like a him problem.” you shrug.

“Are you drunk?”

You give him a look, a lazy smile making it onto your face.

“Where did you get that?”

“You know this is the most you've spoken to me since I've known you.” you take a note out loud.

He ignores you though. “You're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a me problem, no?”

“God, you're such a brat,” he groans, “And get off the ground, you're gonna get sick.”

Snorting, you shake your head. “You're acting just like my brother.”

“You're irresponsible.”

That causes you to get a whiplash from how fast you glare at him. “I am not. Y'all act as if I can't do things on my own. Not only does my brother try to control me and watch over my shoulder every goddamn minute, you started doing it too!”

“He's worried about you.”

“Whatever,” you grumble, “Go back to blondie and leave me alone. Or snitch to my brother about my whereabouts, I'm sure he will get me out of here.”

He stays though. He doesn't move and doesn't speak for a moment. Instead, he sighs and sits next to you. 

“I wanted you to have fun.”

“Well, that didn't work, did it?”

“Look at you,” he chuckles, nudging lightly on your shoulder. “You seem to have fun on your own.”

“Yeah, spending Valentine's Day alone on the balcony of my brother's best friend is just so much fun.”

He laughs. He actually laughs and gives you an approving nod once he realizes you're right. “You're not alone anymore.”

You give him a look but before he can elaborate, he motions toward the bottle in your hand with his head. 

“Give me that.”

“No, this is the only fun I have.”

“C'mon, I will drink with you.”

Your surprise comes out before you give him a suspicious look. “You will?”

“Yeah.” he agrees and takes the bottle you hesitantly give him.

He takes a small sip, not a few gulps as you expect him to. “Is that all you got?”

“For tonight, yeah.”

“Why?” you question.

“I will take you home.”

You scoff, but then he continues. 

“After you decide you wanna go home.”

“Really?” Your surprise makes it out again. “You're not gonna kick me out?”

“I would never kick you out.” 

You make a face, “But my brother–”

“Your brother can be a dick sometimes.”

“Woah.”

“Don't act like you don't know it.”

“I do, but I'm just surprised you're the one saying it.”

He sets the bottle on the other side of him. It doesn't go unnoticed by you but you decide not to fight with him, especially once you feel the alcohol doing its job. 

“Well, I've seen it from his side and I gotta be honest, he's protective. Sometimes overly but he's not doing it because he hates you, y'know?”

“I know he doesn't hate me,” you inform him. “It's just annoying sometimes.”

“But now I've seen more of your side and he should just let you live.”

You nod in appreciation with lips pursed, “Wow, thank you.”

He smiles, “You still do a lot of stuff just to get back at him. You're not making it any easier, huh?”

You laugh, “It's my rebellion.” 

You sit there for a moment in complete silence. Jungkook stands up and leaves. You act as if you're not disappointed but before you can reach for the bottle that Jungkook has left here, the door slides open again and Jungkook wraps a blanket around you. 

“Don't look so surprised.”

“Wow, JK does something nice for a girl?”

“I can do a lot of nice things.”

“Is there a double-meaning or?” you trail off, causing him to laugh as he shakes his head.

“Not like that.”

Yeah, because you're his brother's best friend.

Not that you would ever want something with him. Only in your most secretive dreams but that's beside the point. Jungkook is not boyfriend material. You've seen it today more than ever. But you can't deny that he attracts you in the weirdest way possible. You have never experienced that with anyone. 

He's your type. When it comes to looks. And you're slightly ashamed to admit that some of his behavior attracts you. Basically, it's a red flag but what do they say? I'm color blind?

“How are you not freezing?”

It's February and you're sitting on a balcony. 

“I'm drunk.”

God, you're going to end up sick. Even your drunk self scolds you. 

“You wanna go home?”

“Not yet.”

He nods, not protesting as you both stare ahead. Your thoughts run wild, even in their slow pace because of alcohol flowing in your system.

“I was so annoyed because today's Valentine's Day,” you start, chuckling at yourself. “At first I thought I was just annoyed because everyone's in love and everything about today is about love. I do think it's overrated though.”

“I don't know, I never cared about it to be honest.”

You laugh, “Did you make today's party for all anti-romanticists?”

“No, I would've done it either way.” he chuckles. 

“Did you ever make something romantic for Valentine's Day?”

He makes a face, frowning but silently laughing amusingly at the thought of it. “No.”

“You know what? I think I was more annoyed that secretly maybe I crave for something romantic. Not necessarily a relationship.”

“Or maybe you just feel the pressure of today's ridiculous holiday and people around you.”

You snort, “You're just saying that because you're not in love.”

“Love's not for me. Not that kind at least.”

“And what kind?”

“I loved our family dog.”

You laugh, “That's different. I'm not talking about that.”

“I know you don't. Just sayin', love has all forms.” 

You hum, sighing before you start shivering. 

“Come on, let's go inside. You're freezing.”

“But–”

“We don't have to go home.”

“Or maybe I should. I'm getting tired. And I think I'm gonna throw up.”

“You were mixing hard liquor with wine. You will.” he agrees and once you nudge him, he laughs at you. “C'mon, you little brat. It's time to go home.”

As he makes sure you don't fall on the stairs, giving you the support you almost stumble when your brother makes his way toward you, breathless and relieved once he sees you.

“Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere. We've been looking for you! Why do you have the blanket?”

“Found her on the balcony.”

“What were you doing there?!” He screeches.

“Don't worry, I wasn't going to jump. But if I'm gonna have to keep up with your annoying ass for one more second, maybe I will.”

“You're drunk.” He scoffs.

“And honest.” you add.

“And where are you going?”

“I'm gonna take her home.” Jungkook answers, helping you with the last step as your brother stares with mouth wide open. 

“Like the hell you will! You were drinking.”

“I wasn't,” he responds. “Not since I was with her anyway.”

“Doesn't mean you don't have alcohol in you.”

“I don't. I'm fine.”

You didn't even realize he wasn't drinking anymore. God. You really can be a pain in the ass too. But that's your brother's doing though. He should've never ordered Jungkook to look after you. 

“You're the one who reeks of alcohol,” Jungkook informs him calmly, “Or you want someone else to take her?”

He shakes his head, still hesitant. He walks closer to you and wraps the blanket tighter around your form. “Are you gonna be fine?”

“Yeah, I trust Jungkook. Don't you?”

“I do.” He doesn't hesitate. 

He gives one final nod to Jungkook as he leads you out of the house. As you're walking out of it, you spot blondie with a group of what seems like her friends, glaring the shit out of you. You stick out your tongue when Jungkook's busy opening the door for you. The look on your face causes you to smirk.

Jungkook gets you inside his flashy car and you're kinda doomed that you're too drunk to look around and appreciate the expensive type of vehicle. You're drifting in and out of your consciousness. But you notice Jungkook stopping in front of a convenience store, informing you he'll be right back. And he is. It seems like he's been gone for a minute because you close your eyes, open them and he's already there.

The drive and walk to your home is quick. You get to walk on your own, much to your embarrassment there are no accidents of stumbling or falling. As soon as you make it past your doormat, you make it inside your bathroom and throw up in the sink. It's embarrassing once you hear Jungkook behind you, helping you with your hair. He doesn't say anything, just letting you throw up everything that's currently in your stomach. 

“I should take a shower.”

“Fuck that. Go lay down. I will lock the door.”

“Lock?”

“Your brother gave me his spare keys.”

“Oh.”

After a few minutes of bickering, you still insist on taking a shower. Jungkook sighs and lets you do your own thing, patiently waiting in the living room. Once you make it out in your pajamas that consist of your brother's huge t-shirt, you find him scrolling through his phone. 

“You gonna be fine?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You're seconds from passing out. You might've stumbled in the bath a few times but you hope he didn't hear that. 

You drag your feet to your bedroom and fall onto bed. You'll cover yourself later. As soon as you lay down, you ignore your spinning head and the disgusting taste of vomit that is still present, even though you've brushed and rinsed your teeth even in your drunken state.

The night is wild.

You throw up a few times, finding a prepared bucket beside your bed but unfortunately, you don't make it into it the first time. Once you wake up with a messy and aching head, you notice vomits on your floor and you cringe at yourself. Disgusting. 

You wake up around twelve, finally in a better state to leave your eyes open without having to vomit everywhere. You're about to reach for your phone, knowing you're going to have at least a dozen messages from your brother. But you stop yourself as you stare at things that weren't on your nightstand before.

There's a glass of water. A box of painkillers and a chocolate bar wrapped in a package filled with pink and red hearts. 

There's a note stuck to it. 

'Happy Valentine's Day, JK'

You stare, reading the note over and over again. 

And they say romance is dead.

[boydepartment]

three strikes - nishimura riki x fem! reader

a/n: HIIIIII this was a request from my 🧈 anon :3 i hope you love it my dear

warnings- jealousy! nothing insane tho, mostly fluff 😋 i added a small inside joke that riki would call ricky from zb1 “discount ricky” all jokes tho (pls don’t kill me)

wc- honestly over 750

MASTERLIST

“here.” you looked over to riki setting your drink down on the table, you looked up at him and smiled as he sat down across from you at the cafe table.

“did you-“

“ask for extra peppermint? yes. even though it’s gross..” riki mumbled, you giggled and sipped your hot coco. it was freezing cold at least to you and so the coco helped a lot.

“when is your project partner arriving?” riki mumbled, sipping his coffee.

you shrugged, “any minute.” setting your coco down riki watched you, he wasn’t necessarily happy over this whole project partner thing. riki knew your project partner, and safe to say he was just irritated by his presence. he didn’t know why, but he was just irked.

so when the OTHER ricky walked in, he just waved and watched as the other boy sat next to you.

“hey y/n!” he smiled, you grinned back at him.

“hey! it’s cold outside are you sure you’re bundled up enough?” you asked, grabbing your books. riki just decided to go on his phone to pass time.

“yeah! it’s crazy how quickly the weather changed huh? are you warm enough?”

you and ricky made small talk which didn’t bother your best friend. that was until one sentence.

“your hands are freezing y/n!”

riki’s eyes shot up to see the discount ricky’s hands on yours. if stares could kill a man, discount ricky would be six feet under.

“oh! yeah that’s why riki, well, my riki got me hot coco.” you let go of his hand and turned to your hot beverage.

nishimura riki would be lying if he said some pride didn’t bubble up inside him, which didn’t go unnoticed by the boy sitting next to you.

riki didn’t take notice and he went back on his phone, he just wanted your project to be over so he could walk back to the car with you and just be away from people. by people he meant discount ricky. this was strike one for his patience.

“i think we should work more on the details of the piece of art itself. like things that normal people look past in monet’s art. there’s a story everywhere.” you suggested, this art project was pretty big for your grade. and you were just relieved that your project partner agreed to do monet.

“that’s such a good idea y/n.” ricky smiled.

oh please riki thought to himself, at that point discount ricky should just get on his hands and knees and beg for your attention. that’d be way less embarrassing than kissing your ass at every little- wait what the hell

to riki’s horror, discount ricky, was readjusting your beanie so your hair didn’t get in your face. this pissed him off, strike two of his patience gone. riki was the one who spent HOURS trying to crochet you that beanie last year and now he’s going to have to make you another one because discount ricky’s grimy hands touched it! riki felt his eye twitch, he ended up making eye contact with the boy next to you. a smirk ghosting his features.

riki wanted to kick his shin under the table or maybe throw his hot coffee-

“i think we should also choose one of monet’s less known works aswe- oh ouch…” you mumbled rubbing your hands, whenever you wrote or sketched too long your hands would hurt. riki always took notice of this so he looked up proper hand massages- safe to say he could be certified- WHAT THE SHIT?

discount ricky grabbed your hands and started massaging them.

strike three

“can you get your hands off her?!” riki finally snapped, “god at this point it’s revolting! i’m right in front of both of you!”

your eyes widened as you watched you best friend actually lose his temper, yeah you’d seen him bicker but this was different.

“what are you two dating?” ricky asked, if you were in a tv show you’d see the angry lightening bolt hit both of them. this was not good, you quickly packed your bags and grabbed your best friend. apologizing to your project partner.

“what’s his fucking problem?!” riki stomped through the fresh snow to your car.

“what’s his problem?! what’s your problem? what the hell was that?! are you okay?!” you had a million questions. and they were flying out.

“i- what- how is this my fault!? he had his grimy discount ricky hands all over you! only i’m allowed to do that as your best friend!”

it was really hard to take him seriously as you finally got to the car laughing. you leaned against the hood trying to catch your breath.

“y/n this isn’t funny!” he stood right next to you.

you finally caught your breath, “i’m sorry where did the nickname discount ricky come from?”

“well obviously i’m the better one way more deserving of, um hello, touching your hair, massaging your hands because im youtube certified, AND THE COLD HANDS THING?! he was flirting with you shamelessly in front of me!” riki swung his arms around like a crazy person trying to explain that the end was near.

your hat fell slightly as you laughed again which riki fixed gently before speaking again, “then he’d smirk at me like he knew he was getting on my nerves! like that discount version of ME KNEW HE WAS MAKING ME ANGRY!”

“should i take my hat off and give you sanitizer? since you touched my discount ricky infected beanie?” you asked, unlocking the car and throwing your backpack in the back. you turned around and bumped into riki.

“actually yeah take off that hat. i will sanitize it and crochet you a new one.” riki grabbed the hat off your head and gave you his own beanie.

“should i sanitize my hands too?” you asked giggling, going to open your door but slipping on black ice.

riki immediately caught you, “um guess who couldn’t catch you- discount ricky. i’m clearly better for you so.”

you started laughing again, hitting his chest playfully, “you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

“is that a bad thing?” riki asked quickly, suddenly unsure of himself.

you shook your head no, “it’s cute.”

riki smiled down at you; it was obvious he was at least a little smug.

“you know what he didn’t contaminate?” you asked, still giggling, your eyes flickered from riki’s eyes to his lips. immediately he got the hint and took his chance.

discount ricky is out and nishimura riki hit a home run

[finelinevogue]

hot stuff

summary - it’s summer in italy and you’re very in love with harry

pairing - fiance!harry x reader

word count - +1k

[ inspired by today’s pics of harry in rome ]

🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊☀️🌊

Life was pretty good.

Life was currently simply enjoying summer in Italy with your fiancée.

Life was sitting around a pool, drinking margaritas and tanning until the sun could give no more.

At this moment in time, life was watching your fiancée get out of the pool whilst you keenly watched.

Harry wiped his nose as he got out, pulling his swim shorts to the right level so he didn’t show everyone what was beneath the happy trail.

It was a Saturday and you were hosting a pool party.

Since you and Harry had bought a summer house out in Italy you’d met lots of new people, a lot of which were Italian residents.

Every so often you liked to invite people over to have fun and just enjoy life the simpler way for once.

So here you were, enjoying the simple life.

You watched Harry approach, water dripping off his skin and onto the paved floor beneath him.

The sun was hot, but you had to admit he was even hotter.

He’d recently decided he wanted to try grow a mullet and it was slowly getting there. The scruff on the back of his neck was growing and it made you weaker every time you saw him.

His mullet mixed with his tanned, tattooed, skin made him - being biased - the hottest person in Italy.

“Hey hot stuff.” You chuckled, as you said, as he got closer.

“Objectifying me now, are we?” He feigned hurt, walking to stand over you and your sun-bed, “I’m more than just my incredibly good looks you know?”

“A little modesty wouldn’t hurt you.” You mumbled.

Harry perched one hand on the back of your sun-bed and leaned down to your head height.

“What did you say? Hm?” He challenged you with a smirk.

“Oh, go away.” You playfully swatted his thigh.

“Gimme a kiss first.”

You couldn’t deny him, or you, the pleasure, so you leaned up a little to meet him and sealed your lips to his.

You quickly followed his lips, leaning up more so he could kiss you harder. Harry cupped the back of your neck for support, whilst you desperately wanted to tug on the hair at the back of his neck but couldn’t quite reach from this angle.

You let out a soft moan as he bit your lip ever so slightly, before he pulled back before you two ended up getting too carried away.

It was funny how you still got shy and giggly after you’d have a proper kiss. Harry brought out a side of you that felt like you could be in the honeymoon phase of your relationship forever.

“You wanna go upstairs?” You asked, watching him stand tall looking down at you.

“Baby, you know I’d love nothing more, but unfortunately we are the hosts.”

Oh yes.

The pool party that you were hosting, well kind-of hosting because honestly some of your friends were doing a better job of refilling drinks and having conversations than you or Harry were.

“I’m so horny right now, it’s not even funny.” You huffed.

Harry let out a laugh, before wiggling his way to sit down beside you on the same sun-bed. His body felt warm against yours and it did nothing to submerge the want you had for him right now.

“I know.”

“What?”

“I mean, you made me get you off half an hour ago in the downstairs toilets because you said, and I quote, were ‘going to die’ if I didn’t.”

“That was a real problem.”

“And I really fixed it.” Harry said smugly.

“Go away if you’re not going to help.” You tried to push him off your sun-bed but he made no move.

Instead, Harry completely ignored you and leaned back. His body sat sideways across yours, his head tucked just under your chin.

He was such a weight on your body, but a comforting weight.

“Harry, dude…” You pretended to be annoyed, but in reality you craved nothing more than the proximity to him. “You’re making me all wet.”

“See… I’m helping.”

You chuckled at that, kissing his forehead.

Your hand got to sneak up to the back of his neck and scrunch the scruff of hair he had there. You liked twirling your fingers around certain curls and then pulling them straight. Harry liked it too.

You were both quiet for a while, watching friends and neighbours pass you by.

People left you and Harry to be with each other, only stopping for a quick hello or to tell you how beautiful your house was.

The weather was warm, but the cross breeze was nice and cool. It made for the perfect temperature and was very close to lulling you to sleep with Harry safe in your arms.

“2 days.” Harry mumbled.

“Hm?” You said.

Harry tilted his head slightly to look at you, whilst you leant down with your five double chins at him.

“2 days and then you’ll have my last name.”

You warmly smiled at that, using your hand not occupied with scrunching his neck hair to cup his cheek and softly brush the skin there.

You leant down the best you could and kissed him as if that did more than words could do.

And it did.

“3 days and we’ll be going on our honeymoon.” You said this time.

“Manchester doesn’t know what’s coming.” Harry joked.

“Can’t believe we’re having our honeymoon in Manchester.”

You and Harry both chuckled at that.

“Yeah, but it’s home.” Harry smiled, pulling at your hand to move away from his cheek so he could hold it. He messed around with your engagement ring sat pretty there, mesmerised by the fact he even found someone to give the ring to.

“I’m actually excited to see some greenery. Maybe some cows and grey clouds.”

“Yeah.” Harry belly laughed.

“Remember that cow from that holiday to Cornwall with your parents?”

“My dad thought he was a cow whisperer or something.” You laughed at the memory, making Harry’s body shake at the motion.

“It’ll be nice to just go on walks in peace and not have phone service.” Harry turned his head to face you again, your hand still stroking his neck, “Nice to just be with you.”

You smiled with a blush, because how could you not when he spoke to you like that.

“I love you.” You kissed him.

“I love you.” He kissed you.

He sat up then, seeing where he’d left damp stains over you and your towel. His hand kept him propped up over your body.

Harry looked out to your guests, taking each one in quickly and smiling at those who smiled his way, before turning back to you.

“Wanna go upstairs?”

You perked up at that, “Really?”

“Yeah,” He leaned over to kiss you and your enthusiasm, “Only got 2 more days to have sex with my fiancée, gotta make the most of it.”

“I’m not even going to question your logic right now because I’m getting what I want.” You jumped up off your sun-bed. “Let’s go hot stuff.”

[hansoeii]

Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??

I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?

Hey hey!

Thank you so much!

I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!

(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)

I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)

2020

I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.

2021

Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.

2022

This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.

2023

And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!

Now here comes some actual advice, haha:

What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!

I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.

Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!

I have a pinterest board with many more!

One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.

This is a great video on it:

6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko

Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!

And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!

I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)

[mechaknight-98]

Reciprocal Feelings (NSFW) FT Natty

Authors note: a little something special for Valentine's day, especially since Natty is exceptionally hot.

You were surprised when your 118th match on Tinder messaged you “Can you come through tonight?” and even more surprised at you doing so.

You arrive at the hotel 45 minutes later. When you enter the lobby you see your match’s smiling face. Her cute expression puts your previous worries about meeting her away and replaces them with other concerns but more on that later. Her outfit accents her curvaceous body while still leaving more than enough to the imagination. You walk over to her and she smiles at you

“Vlad right?” your match asks

“Yeah, you got it.” You affirm

“Natty.” Your match responds while going in for an awkward hug. She breaks the hug and says “Let’s go to my room.” You nod and follow.

You arrive at the 8th floor or so of the luxury hotel where Natty eyes you nervously as she watches you pace. To ease this you sit next to her.

“Be gentle” she says. You hesitate but know what you should do

“Are you sure about this?” You ask

“Yes!”Natty asserts pushing her breasts closer together hoping to entice you into not asking any more questions but with the redness of her eyes as if she was about to cry. You felt that was the wrong call.

“Really?” you ask

“Yes, why don't you think so?”Natty insists again

You grab her hand gently to show her how much she's shaking. She breaks into tears shortly after as she withdraws into your chest. You let her sob for a while.

“So what's the rush?” you ask eventually when Natty stops crying.”

“My members have been making fun of me for not having lost my Virginity,” Natty says through ugly tears and a dejected sigh.

You scowl as that was an extremely unconventional response “That's dumb,” you respond skeptically before you can think about your answer. You watch her eyes droop further in sadness which keys you into that response being the wrong one.

Still sniffling Natty looks at you again“Well, that's not the full truth. They make fun of me for not having a partner and boys only want one thing” Natty clarifies. You listen and now try to formulate the proper response

“Um,” you say unsure how to respond to that specific concern.

Natty looks at you confused and worried “Wait what was that “um” about?”Natty asks. You take your time as you consider your response

“I was trying to figure out how to respond to your previous statement which there is a lot to unpack about the statement,” you answer Natty looks at you surprised

“Why?”Natty asks. She looks at you wide-eyed as she thinks to herself. “Oh, he's different.”

Knowing that this was going to be. The long answer you pinch the bridge of your nose as you think Natty smirks at this thinking to herself, “he's thinking hard about this, which means he cares.”,

You sigh as you begin your answer “Well our culture (for better or worse) propagates that physical intimacy is the only worthwhile intimacy worth pursuing and that is the true manifestation of a mature and healthy relationship at least to men. All of our advertising, cultural relevance, and prominence is tied to “find woman, fight for woman, get woman, breed woman, repeat” and that's it. While I understand from a biological psychology reason why that would arise it isn't (and shouldn't be ) the end all be all for every man. Now, there are some who it is. However for the most part if you take the sexual enculturation out of us all you'd probably see sex become less of a main focus and more emotional intimacy or intellectual intimacy rise. Now for me, the way to my heart is through my stomach but that's because my mom’s love language was quality time and gift which for her translated to extravagant meals due to her being a world-renowned chef. For example, do any of your members have multiple exes?”

“Yes, my unnie Julie has 4,” Now atty says excitedly. She's excited to be engaged like an adult but also elated that you're taking her concerns seriously and not just diving into “getting physical” Also world renowned chef made her consider that he'd make a great house husband.

“How does she talk about them? Does she have them categorized in different ways for example is one referred to as the kind one where she talks about his overwhelming kindness, or does she have one whom she and her ex-partner whom she only talks about the mind-blowing sex she had with them?” you ask Natty’s eyes widen as two of Julie’s exes immediately pop into her head as she nods. Julie would often describe them in the categories you mentioned. As she goes to respond your stomach rumbles.

“Are you hungry?” you ask Natty. She nods and you respond “If it's okay with you let's grab something. My treat.” Natty. smiles wide at you before making noises of glee. “You will be mine” was all she could think about while you walked to your car.

3 months later you're taking a flight to South Korea to visit Natty for Valentine’s day. The flight was unpleasant but you endured for your love. Upon arrival, you thanked Zeus that he didn't find it within himself to strike you out of the sky. After that you make it to the hotel you'd be staying at for the time being. When you check in the attendant says that you'll find the accommodations suitable for your situation. You try not to scowl at the phrasing but it's kind of hard to do so. Regardless you ride the elevator up to your room. When you settle in you get a call from your friend Max. He tells you about this incredible girl he was dating named Yu Jimin. The picture he sent you of her made you laugh.

“Um, dude do you know who that is?” you text back to Max. Max sends back a confused emoji and you laugh audibly. You sent back a screenshot of a Google search and waited for Max to reply. Before he could though you got a text from Julie saying that Natty was ready to be picked up. So shaking off your fatigue you make the trek to her building. On the way you get flowers. You arrive at her building shortly thereafter as you walk inside Natty walks out. She sees you and gives you that adorable massive smile that radiates lovesick puppy energy. You smile back and present the flowers as she runs to you. She hugs you tightly and says “It's so good to see you Vlad.” she breaks the hug and quickly leans into your ear and whispers “I can't wait for you to destroy this pussy when we get back to your hotel room.” her words cause you to shudder and you barely hold off on pitching a tent in your pants. As she steps away she squeezes your arm in excitement. Unfortunately, she squeezes your bandaged right arm. You since which is when she finally notices it. Natty frowns and then hits your not (visibly) injured shoulder. When she sees you wince she scans you once over and notices all of the other scrapes and bruises covering you.

“What happened to you?” she demanded

“Max and I got attacked by a giant lion during one of his digs, best not to worry we'll be okay. No rabies just injured for the time being,” you explain as you gesture to the various cuts and scrapes. Natty scowls at you, but she knows that while she prefers you not have flown in this condition she knew you were not missing Valentine's day. Come to Hell or High Water or in this case Lions, Tigers Bears oh my.

“So how does it feel?, having your globe-trotting boyfriend visit you on Valentien’s day” you ask. Natty beams with an annoyed smile as the two of you walk out together. She has taken the flowers and is purposefully ignoring the cheers and jeers of the rest of her group.

She follows you back to the hotel flowers in her hand smile plastered across her face.

“It’s nice especially since you’re here Vlad.” Natty eventually says as you exit the building together.

Before y'all reached the hotel the both of you decided to stop at the k-bbq place on the way. The last time you had visited Korea this was the place Max, Gally, and Danger met while you talked about the next dig (the one you just finished) and recapped the previous one (the one before that). You and Natty sit down and begin to catch up.

“So what did you think about the comeback?”Natty asked

“Oh, you looked stunning. Every outfit you wore made you look better than the others. I am super sorry I couldn't make it but you know with the digs they could discover something, but the next concert I'm there regardless of anything.” Natty smiled at your fervor for her. She knew you would move the sun the moon and the stars if you could to make her happy. She did feel bad sometimes as she couldn't always reciprocate those feelings but did her best. She loved you in her own way. She was captivated and enthralled by your academic mind. But also you heart had shown her what unconditional love looked and felt like so she had a vision and a goal. Meanwhile, you were just so caught up in how remarkable she was. You were six months older than her but she had already accomplished so much so young. Being an international megastar. Almost debuting on one of the most publicized survival shows in the history of K-pop. Debuting not once but twice, and completely reinventing herself. You often felt inadequate next to her so you compensated by being the best trophy boyfriend you could be. Natty takes her place next to you on the right. In the booth, the to of you got assigned. This allowed you both to eat together without being in the other’s way as she was right-handed and you were left handed.

(Short aside you are not a trophy husband by the by. You are remarkable in your own right)

The two of you eat together in relative silence. Flirty silence but silence nonetheless. Some hand hand-holding here. Some hair fixing there. Overall just tame stuff. That was until Natty made a sudden move and “accidentally” forced her tits all over your hands. As you try to lessen the awkwardness Natty gives you a mischievous smile. “Can't wait sweetheart?” she coos. As she looks into your eyes her hand slinks down to your crotch. She slips her hand under the waistband, but wait the waitress is coming to take your order. Natty looks up innocently as she continues to inch her hand closer to your cock. You keep your composure as the two of you order another round of food. After that, she leans into your shoulder and breathes heavily into your ear as she grasps your cock. You jolt which only eggs her on more as she nibbles on your earlobe.

“What's gotten into you?” ask concerned. Natty has always been bold but this is a new height for her.

“What I can't worship my boyfriend’s big cock before I have it creampie this wet pussy?” Natty says as she continues to stroke you. Her eyes are lidded seductive and full of lust as she speaks. Her tone is that of an errotic whisper like a siren.However, her words make you laugh. Natty had done the whole sexy act multiple times and it was always so cute because she tried so hard. Your laugh caused Natty to pout acutely before increasing the fervor of her handjob.

“Babe please we in public.” you struggle as you stifle a moan. Natty’s mischievous grin returns.

“Um no.” she teases as she continues to jerk you. You hate to admit but her actions arouse even more. You love her aggression. Her eyes widen as she stares into yours watching you writhe and squirm under her touch.

“I love watching you ride the edge until you can't take it anymore,” she says as she feels you inch closer to the finish and her hand is drenched in your precum, but just as you are about to explode she stops, Mostly because it coincides with more food arriving. You'd be furious if you weren't so hungry so you manage to calm down. As you eat you get a call from me.

“Yeah Danger,” you say as you pick up the phone. I noticed a hint of laboring in your voice.

“Everything good Vlad?” I ask

“Yeah just flew into Korea last night and am a little tired,” you respond as you still are shaking off the sensitivity you felt from your girlfriend’s recent escapades.

“Oh well if that's the case, I'll be flying in next week as well we can go into more detail about what's the plan for the next dig. Go over what you all want me to observe and record for the b-roll since you're the director for this. It sounds like you are exhausted so letting you rest may be better,” I respond

You smile relieved that you have time to think before any intense choices need to be made. Especially since a little minx is just waiting at the edge of your vision. I hang up the call wishing for a pleasant farewell and you get back to eating.

“Who was that?” Natty asked

“Oh, that was just Dangerfield the videographer for the digs and seminars.”

“I thought that was you.”Natty Says confused.

“No, I'm just director of photography and head photographer.” you answer Natty nods in understanding as she begins to stroke you again. She smiles watching you try to keep composed.

“Hey is Danger like us?” natty said slowly stroking you

“Asian?” you ask hesitantly. “No, he's super black,” Vlad says flatly to Natty who rolls her eyes.

“No. I mean ascendant?” she asks

“I'm actually not sure but enough about him it's your special day and I want to indulge you,” you say as you kiss her forehead. Natty smiles as you go back to eating. You decide to give her a taste of her own medicine as your offhand inches back down her crotch and past her panties. You hear Natty stifle a gasp as she leans in.

“Oh someone wants their dessert early,” Natty says holding a moan off. You ignore her and have your fingers circle around her clit, as you eat. Natty whispers progressively dirtier and dirtier things to you that I can't repeat. Yet undeterred you send one finger into her pussy which is soaked right now. You stay calm as she begins to beg to cum.

“Please let me cum on your finger. I don't care if wee in public let me cum please. I need it.” Natty begs. You chuckle and when you feel her pussy clench in the way it does before she would climax you remove your hand. The two of you finish eating after that on edge waiting for the other to make a move.

When the two of you arrive at the hotel Natty growls at you, and rips your pants open as soon as the door closes.

“No more foreplay wreck this pussy like you stole it.” Natty demands as she tears off her clothes as soon as she gets yours off.

You don't even bother taking the rest of your shirt off and plunge into her bedraggled pussy.

“You like that?” you ask as you slap Natty’s bodacious ass.

She moans your name and a string of incoherent noises after. As you pound her the squelching sounds of her pussy egg you on further.

“I still need to fuck your ass natty, but not tonight. Tonight this pussy is mine,” you state authoritatively as you pull the bent-over girl by her hair.

“I love how your cock fills my tight pussy.” Natty says as her pale ass bounces and ripples with each thrust. You look into her eyes full of desperation and need.

“You're such a dirty slut now,” you say to Natty. Her pussy grips you fighter as if she liked it. So as you thrust you test your hypothesis.

“Who'd have thought that you'd be so into such filth? Trying to get off in public love? When we met you were Miss Prim and Proper Princess now you're a common whore.” you say. Tears begin to flow from Natty’s eyes as her pupils roll back into her head. When you see tears though you automatically stop.

When Natty comes back to her senses and calms down she asks, “Why did you stop?”

“Because you were crying. Look I'm all for pushing boundaries and finding kinks but I draw the line tears.” you say which makes Natty feel even safer with you. She begins to cry and lets out how she doesn't deserve you and how you're too good for her.

“Natty um where is this coming from?” you ask confused not expecting this to be the conversation of the hour.

“You're always there for me and I have not once been to a seminar or a dig site for you, and it tears me up. I haven't even had time to go to one of your galleries.” Natty adds.

You shrug, “Why are you worried about that? You are busy with almost endless schedules and performances.” you say to comfort her as you hold her. Natty’s eyes are still misty as the two of you spend the rest of the night eating chocolate and cuddling.

[zonedelicious]

In the X-Men fandom this scene is constantly brought up to call the character Noriko racist, call the entire book racist, and even call the fans and writers racist. And as a Muslim fan of Academy X I am very confused at this harsh reaction because to me it is obvious the story is siding with Sooraya.

For starters X-Men can be very VERY racist and islamophobic. I've recently been reading Claremont's New Mutants and it's painful how racist that book is to Arabs. I wanted to stop reading because of the racism.

But I do not get this reaction from Academy X, which is my favourite X-Men book.

I think a lot of people don't know what kind of book Academy X is. Academy X is a book about delinquents. The main characters are a bunch of asshole kids. The appeal to me is seeing these shitty kids grow and become better people. Yes they make mistakes that's the point. They're stupid kids.

Noriko is one of these kids. She was homeless at a young age because of the poor relationship with her family and because of this she's afraid of ever showing any vulnerability. Choosing to rather lash out at others. It's a realistic coping mechanism.

The scene with Sooraya shows this as Noriko is projecting her own trauma onto a poor girl who only wanted to be nice to her. Yes it's shitty but that's the point. We're seeing how their personalities and viewpoints clash, and how Sooraya is challenging Noriko's beliefs.

I do not see how anyone can read this as the book being racist when the scene even shows Sooraya sad. Something like this never happens when an X-Men book is actually islamophobic. Yet people never react as harshly to actually racist X-Men books as they do to this.

It's actually very similar to a scene at the start of Ms Marvel, where Zoe is racist to Nakia. We can clearly see both scenes are suppose to make you feel uncomfortable and make you side with the Muslim girl. And both Zoe and Noriko are humanized despite being bullies.

We even get a conclusion. Some say this isn't enough, but remember that Noriko refuses to show emotions, so the fact she's willing to go against her instincts here is interesting. It's more interesting to me than simply having a generic anti racism speech.

Again Sooraya is entirely humanized here. The comic is understanding of her struggle. I do disagree with the way she's drawn at times, but the writing makes her a character I could relate to. And reading this conclusion only makes me more interested in both characters.

Sadly neither character ever got a proper character arc after the comic ended. But to me that just makes me wish there were more comics of this group where we do see Sooraya and Noriko become close friends like Nakia and Zoe. It makes me think of writing my own story with them.

I love this book and what it means for Sooraya. I love seeing Sooraya's relationship with the Hellions, Jay and Laura. This is still her definitive comic, so why are we dismissing it entirely because of one scene that exists to make us relate to her?

It's very strange that this one scene, that to me is well made and relatable, is being used as a way to hate the characters, the comic, and everyone who likes it. Most hate isn't even coming from Muslims so is it just performative outrage and misunderstanding?

Or maybe this scene hits at home for some people? With the conversation being very realistic and grounded, people may see themselves in Noriko. Maybe they had a similar reaction towards a Muslim girl and are remembering it.

Noriko's stance isn't even that different from ex Muslim feminists who say similar things. The issue is how she is projecting onto Sooraya. And maybe that's what makes people uncomfortable. The complexity this conversation has in the real world.

Whatever it may be, Noriko still clearly grows after this arc. We do see her become a great leader who stands up for her friends. And even if she has issues to deal with, she was slowly becoming a better person.

In conclusion I love this book because it's relatable in how it portrays its characters. I like Sooraya being a Muslim character who's also a protagonist and a big part of the story. I hope more people give this book a chance and see the charm of it that I see.

Anyway time to go listen to anime music and imagine my OCs hanging out with the Academy X kids (need to draw that one day).

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dearest Lamp,

Spooky season is upon us, do you have any Strange Husbands thoughts to share to commemorate the occasion?

*hands you a muffin*

-nibbling on the muffin-

Ah, yes, the nerds who decided to get married on Halloween; Special and Cowbell!

I've got a couple thoughts, so let's go.

-They decided to renew their vows this year on Mischief Night, so not on Halloween proper, but the day before, mostly because they want to enjoy the festivities without cutting into them too much.

It's a smaller ceremony than their wedding was, and it's a bit more of an intimate/friends only sort of deal.

-The actual celebration takes place in the ruined chapel in the forest, which they had decorated with Halloween themed floral arrangements and candles, all of which was set up by the earth ghouls, plus one tiny human gardener who convinced them to use electric candles since, well... the chapel did burn down that one time.

-Although their guest list was pretty small, there was a few spectral visitors hanging around during the party; The forest near the abbey is haunted beyond all belief, and sometimes all the ghosts want is a bit of entertainment.

Nobody really noticed, and Special and Cowbell certainly weren't bothered by it, but reports say say of the human guests felt a touch uneasy due to a "cold draft", but, ehn, it is fall after all.

-Fashion wise, neither of them went for anything super flashy, but they do compliment each other's outfit; Special wore black and purple with web motifs, and Cowbell wore green and black with bat motifs, which turned out a lot more tame/tasteful than that sounds in theory.

The guests were asked to dress semi-formal/in something comfortable for being outside, because the chapel kind of doesn't have a roof... or windows... or much of a wall over there...

-On the topic of the venue; Mountain and Bea installed trellises to support some hanging plants/to replace the missing wall sections and to make the space more cozy, and added in little statutes to hide the tiny heaters they brought to keep the guests from absolutely freezing.

Special wanted hanging lights, but didn't want a bunch of wires strung up everywhere/hiding the view of the stars, so they both had to brainstorm how to make that magic happen; The answer was plants.

Lots and lots of plants.

-Back to the couple themselves; The actual vow renewal doesn't take super long all told, but the after party? The after party was several hours long, and Cowbell and Special spent the majority of it dancing and generally just being obsessed with each other in their own weird way...

Let the records show, also, in the "lost party footage" that they both cried from laughing too hard when they got surprised with a cake that had their original wedding date on it, except the bakery fucked up and wrote, "Congratulations Colin and Stephen" and Cowbell asked, "Surely I'm Stephen, right?" to which Special mused allowed how they fucked up the name Phil so bad...

And lastly;

-Cowbell and Special both left before the party officially ended, because they were like, "It'd be soooo funny." and snuck off to... get ready for bed together and go to sleep.

Yeah, no fooling around on Mischief Night ironically, the pair are off to bed, tucked into each other's arms, blissfully sleeping while their guests create future hangovers.

Some of the guests got wise and left once they saw them sneaking off (Bea, Bea left, but mostly because she will take any opportunity to leave a party), but the majority of them shambled out of the woods at daybreak looking like they'd been lost in the woods for days.

...Then again, they never did find that one sister of sin... Hm.

[thepumpkincorsair]

So, I watched the first episode of “Those About To Die” on Peacock.

I enjoyed it, and Im willing to do write ups if folks would be interested…

Since I wana talk about details, and I dont wana spread spoilers, everything is below the readmore.

What I liked: 🔵 And what I disliked: 🟠

Total Ranking: 8/10 - very good, worth the watch 👍

🟠 It dove into the Intrigue right away, which made it hard to watch while doing other things, but I can appreciate a show that grabs you by the shoulders and shoves you down into the couch to pay attention.

🔵 It wasn’t boring, quite the contrary, I felt fully engaged throughout the episode. Theres a lot of small moving parts to the story, and it orchestrates together incredibly well so far, even for Episode One. The writing is very well done, which is a lynchpin for me on a show like this. You cant pretend to be an intrigue type series without a proper plot. And, in my opinion, they’ve set their plots well right away. Tenax getting those shares in Blue was a great con, which had clearly been going a while, but we only saw the tail end of it. I see this little setup as a great look at how the writers DO their work. Connections matter, money does more than talk, and if you play the game wrong, you die. Don’t trust anyone.

🔵 I REALLY enjoyed the historical aspects of the first episode. Like, yes, this plot happened, its a historical fiction and a number of these characters exist in history, but its not just that. Its the small details, the different knives in different cultures, the veterinary care of race horses, the deities from more than just the main roman pantheon, the drinkware, the VARIOUS clothes from various cultures and climates…. And yes, women often went topless when they were a sxwrkr. Gotta advert.

🔵 ON THAT SUBJECT: can we talk about “3 sesterce… and Im tighter than both of them.” MY BOY, YOU ARE RIZZIN TOO HARD AND I LOST IT. Please, please let him be in future episodes. Omfg….

🟠 I am forced to concede the accuracy isnt PERFECT, the horses wore modern driving bridles to go with their ancient styled chariots. However, Im realistic about how many horses are trained today to pull anything without blinders, and how much safer modern bridles are. I’ll also note: I absolutely saw the animal handler grab the horse differently (calmly) before the riot surrounded it, then direct the horse to dance in the crowd. Great training with the horse! Bad camera angle. Lol

🔵 I also really like this cast so far. Everyone fills their roles incredibly well.

Hopkins doesnt even need an introduction, the mans a legend and brings all his experience to the stage with him every time. -chefs kiss-

Rheon was great in GOT, he plays calculatingly unhinged exceptionally well. But I wont lie, seeing him in a more commanding, level headedly calculating person?

Hashim….. HASHIM!!! Im SO excited to see where his character goes. We haven’t seen much of him in Ep 1 just yet, but he’s clearly going to be one of the main players. Im not familiar with him as an actor, but I’ve enjoyed his performance so far, and I REALLY appreciate the story being told.

Martins is also incredible. She does a fantastic job of knowing the danger her characters children are facing, but also knowing she HAS to play her cards right to save them. She personifies the strength and determination of a mother perfectly.

🔵 Quite honestly, I have to give points to that whole plot-line in general. That point of view is something we’ve had hidden from us (in America) for so long, that I think a LOT of people have… become calloused. I hope seeing it will potentially help others come to an empathetic understanding. This isn’t glossing over what happened, or whats likely to happen to any of the three children.

🔵 I also want to gush over actually SHOWING the wider Roman Empire, we get to see the direct effect of their influence in both Africa and Spain so far. Egypt was their bread basket, and without that grain, youve got problems. The Berber Coast has animals, and people they want, and we see money exchanging hands for the purpose of those ends. We see how the locals were told they’d be treated fairly, paid properly, and even eventually become citizens, like the Spaniards, only to have those promises thrown aside as soon as the Romans have better money to make. These people gave the Empire everything it wanted, but the Empire is never satisfied.

We also get to appreciate how far west the empire went when the Spaniards are trying to sell their horses. (Plot-bunny: Andies are dancing horses, exceptionally athletic, and a prime choice for chariots, though, a standardbred is the usual choice for modern cart racers)

🟠 I will say the CGI isnt the best. You can tell exactly when they change from live action to CGI. But this is a minor issue for me tbh. Its passable CGI, and they use it to avoid putting animals or people in danger which, obviously, I appreciate. A chariot wreck was shown, annnnnd it was pretty darn accurate to how messy those would have been. Not good times y’all. Not good times. Also, the ramifications of a major concussion. Oof. At least the guy would have barely knew what was happening? Still.

🔵 The sound effects were enough without being over the top. Often times when theres gore to show, theres all these extra squelching noises and gratuitous blood… not this time. It’s actually… pretty durn accurate. Don’t ask how I know. I don’t wana tell you, and you dont wana know.

Overall, it was a really solid first episode, and I plan on watching the rest.

[pinkdogplushie]

The ending of My Hero Academia was good, but flawed

And it was not so much disappointing as it was unsatisfying

I think its main flaw is that it tried to wrap up all plot threads except Izuku's. Everyone finds closure, achieves their dreams and finds new goals in life, but Izuku never does: he 'lets go' of the OfA embers, which on itself is not a bad move, except that he does it at graduation, and we never see him even try to be a hero without his powers. This goes against what the entire manga has been trying to say from the beginning, that a hero doesn't need powers to be heroic, only the instinct to save and protect; and yet, when "the greatest hero of all time" didn't have his powers anymore, he never even got the chance to be on the field. He was only able to rejoin through a mechanical suit 8 years after graduation.

Now, again, this on itself isn't a bad narrative move. Given the ending's emphasis on being realistic over being idealistic, you could have Izuku be faced with discrimination against being a Quirkless hero and eventually having to become a teacher to have any work at all. You could show him try to make the best out of his lot in life and yet still be bitter that the world is not ready for a Quirkless hero despite all he has done. You could have him be inspired to help someone else become the Quirkless hero he wants to see in the world and vowing to keep his fight even after returning to the fray of active hero duty.

But none of that happens. Izuku just seems content with not having powers anymore and not being able to perform in the field he sacrificed so much to join. You could say he mourned the loss of his powers and came to terms with his new reality over the 8-year time skip, but it would have been nice to actually see that. He doesn't seem to be even fighting for a cause anymore, not like his classmates are. Shoji is working on peaceful resolutions to conflicts, Uraraka and others are working on providing proper Quirk education, and Izuku... is just a teacher. His sole moment of inspiring someone else is a random encounter with a hero hopeful with a 'weak Quirk' who nevertheless has a better chance of becoming a hero than Izuku himself has. After being portrayed as a force for change throughout the entire manga, Izuku has become stagnant, complacent and seemingly resigned to his fate.

In short, Horikoshi did him dirty.

Now, not everything about the ending was bad. Yes, Mineta is shown to have become a hero despite seemingly never changing as a person, but Shinsou and Aoyama become heroes after all their struggles. Yes, Ochako lost Toga and didn't end up with Izuku, but she has clearly grown as a person, is working to save kids from going off the deep end because of Quirk discrimination, and probably has moved on from her high school crush. Yes, Endeavor is unfortunately still alive, but his children have made it clear they don't forgive him just because he's really regretful, he's out of the field for good and Shouto is respected as a hero in his own right. Crime rates are going down not because there are more heroes, but because heroes are going after the roots of villainy rather than just fighting the symptoms.

So yeah, the MHA manga ending isn't bad.

It just could have been better.

...And that's why I decided to write my own ending.

I present to you, my Epilogue Arc AU:

Aoyama rejoins Class 2-A after 6 months of self-reflection and individual Quirk training when Mineta is expelled in the middle of their second school year due to Aizawa realizing the guy is still a pervert even after surviving a war. Oboro is also returned to life, just with his old Quirk severely modified. Additionally, UA decides to keep the dorm system even after the danger of All for One has passed. 

The constant companionship and support of his friends convinces Izuku to be selfish for once in his life and keep his embers alive past graduation so he can be a hero by his classmates' side, like he has done all this time. He manages to work full-time as a hero for four years, during which he prepares himself for the eventual disappearance of his powers. He mourns the loss of One for All and starts fighting to become a Quirkless hero, but Hawks tells him that unfortunately Japan is not ready to accept one yet, no matter how much Izuku's fought. After reaching a low point, talking with Yagi and Aizawa gives him the strength to keep fighting to make Quirkless heroes a reality one day.

One day, he receives a call from his agency's doctor, who had been helping him manage his diminishing powers. Research conducted during his brief stint as a full-time Pro Hero reveals that, while One for All is gone, Izuku's DNA was irreversibly altered by its presence, which was necessary for it to be transferred from holder to holder. Because of this, he has a simple Quirk with the potential to hold and manage astounding amounts of raw power, which Yagi apparently also has but was unable to notice due to One for All's overwhelming presence and the need for secrecy in regards to it. Izuku decides to name his Quirk Stockpile.

Stockpile is a combination of Yoichi's original transference quirk and the stockpiling one he got from his brother, and behaves like a normal Quirk: it can't host Vestiges nor pass on extra Quirks, and it can only be 'transferred' and combine with others' Quirks through reproduction. Nevertheless, Izuku is not able to use it like he did One for All, only being able to generate very brief flashes of energy throughout his body that don't last long enough to enhance his natural strength and speed, much like what happened with Yagi after losing his embers.

Izuku is amazed at how much technology has advanced to allow for this discovery and happy to know that, in the end, One for All was always meant to become his own Quirk. But he still wants to semi-retire, unwilling to start experimenting with his body or take a new prescribed form of Trigger in order to turn a spark into a flame. He decides to become a teacher at UA, aiming to inspire future generations to become heroes regardless of their Quirks or lack thereof.

Four years after his unofficial retirement, Izuku gets a gift from Yagi, his mother and the rest of 1-A. Thanks to the data gathered through the Armored All Might suit and with the help of Eri's Rewind, Hatsume Mei has created a suit that kickstarts and enhances Izuku's Quirk, restoring his strength and speed to near their original levels without compromising his health. This opens the possibility that Stockpile could return to full power on its own if it's 'jogged' regularly. However, Izuku realizes he is satisfied with his life as it is now, even if he never becomes as powerful as he was in high school again. For now, he is content to return to active hero duty while still being a teacher, and continue bettering society alongside his friends and fellow heroes.

[softguarnere]

Hey. I'm really sorry if I came across pushy or impatient bc that was not my intention at all. Of course school is more important. I hope you like my ideas but if not that's totally fine.

Ok, so here's the first one. You have been a member of Easy co. through almost the whole war. Down in the mud with them and forced to wear the same uniform. Other than being the only girl in the company you just blended in with the guys. That is, until the end of the war came.

My request is a headcanon of the guys reaction to seeing you actually look like a girl for the first time. I mean the works; pin up hair, make up, killer dress, and heels. Also, if it's not too much trouble could you please make sure to include Doc Roe, Babe, Malarkey, and Liebgott? If you want to include any of the other boys please do. Thanks!

Hey hey! Me again sending in my second idea. Again you're the only girl in Easy co. and at some point during the war you took quite a bit of shrapnel; especially to your chest and abdomen.

This is another reaction headcanon request (of a more romantic nature) of the guys seeing all your scars for the first time during a more private moment. Again can you please include Doc Roe, Babe, Malarkey, and Liebgott? Thanks! ❤️

Since you sent two requests, I decided to combine them for the sake of ease and time.

Even though I'm a writer, I'm a historian by trade, and I've never been comfortable with the whole "unexplained sole female member of the company" because I could never stretch my imagination to come up with a proper explanation for why that would be, so I hope you don't mind that I had to change it slightly. I also don't write NSFW, so the second part had to be left pretty vague.

Because of the time crunch, these haven't been proof read or edited!

Reactions to seeing you dressed up for the first time, and later, your battle scars

Doc Roe

When a women's division was added to Easy Company, a lot of the men found themselves getting somewhat distracted

If he's being honest, then yes, Gene has spared a glance at some of the women. But he's been so busy with the constant work of being a combat medic that he hasn't noticed anyone in particular

Until the end of the war, that is

Everyone goes wild once Berchtesgaden is taken. People are looting the jewelry and clothes for themselves, for friends and family, for sweethearts back home

And you happen to take a dress and some jewelry that make you absolutely sparkle - when Gene sees you for the first time, it takes his breath away

Once he works up the courage to talk to you, the two of you take it slow

With everything that has happened and the fast pace of the war, he completely forgot that you took some shrapnel back in Bastogne

You seem so ashamed when you first show him the scars it left you with, but he thinks nothing of it

"We all got 'em," he assures you

"You don't."

"Yeah, I do." He places your hand over his heart. "You just can't see 'em."

Babe

Okay, I think he would actually take notice of you for the first time after the war

It's at an Easy reunion. He happens to look up from his drink as you walk in

He chokes, which draws Bill's attention

"Who the hell is that?"

Bill squints over at you. "Oh, I think it's (Y/L/N)."

"Who?"

"(Y/N)? From the women's division, remember?"

Babe tilts his head. "No."

"Well, she looks different outta uniform, I guess."

All this to say, Babe has taken an interest in you, and he has no qualms about telling you exactly that when he (re)introduces himself to you

You have a great time at the reunion, and although you and Babe keep in touch and become close, he's a little shocked to realize how many things he didn't know about you

Like about the scars that the war left you with

You're shy, almost timid, when you show him, even though you trust him by now

"I had no idea," he admits.

"I don't usually bring it up," you hesitate before continuing. "It, uh - some guys haven't liked it. It makes them uncomfortable."

Something about the way you say it is so open and honest that Babe can't help the rush of emotion that comes over him. He grabs your hand and squeezes it tight

"Then doll, they weren't good enough for you."

Malarkey

Unlike the others, he knows you got hit, because he was there

But it's not something that he thinks about. He's busy trying to forget the war, after all

And as the war draws to a close, he gets so used to seeing you in your Ike jacket and thinking about how it makes you look like some sort of goddess of war that it's distracting

It's not until your last night in Berchtesgaden, when your relationship becomes official, that he learns about the scars the shrapnel left you with

"Does it hurt?" he asks, immediately remembering that awful day back in Holland when he saw you go down as the shrapnel struck you.

"No." You only smirk. "You should see the other guy."

He knew there was a reason that he liked you so much.

Liebgott

Listen, he's such a flirt that I'm convinced he noticed you before and has been subtly throwing flirtations your way throughout the war

But once he sees you at the war's end in a dress and some bright red lipstick that you stole? WOW - you're a knock-out. The pin-ups back in the States have nothing on you, and he simply can't wait another second to make a move

"Hiya, your Highness." He kisses the back of your hand and gives you a deep bow. "My name is Joe. Have we met before?"

All the other women would be giggling while watching the interaction. You can only roll your eyes, trying to hide the heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Maybe once . . . in your dreams."

Joe has always thought you were pretty, and he'll think your gorgeous no matter what

Seeing your scars has a different effect on him.

The anger that would course through him at the realization that the war left its mark on you in the most literal sense? Unmatched.

"Joey," you have to tell him, hooking his chin with a finger and guiding his gaze back up to your eyes. "If it makes you uncomfortable I can - "

"No." He grabs your hands. "Sorry, doll. I didn't mean to make you self-conscious. I just - "

"I know," you assure him. "No use being angry now, though. The damage is done."

But he doesn't want you to see it as damage. And slowly, he comes to see it as character instead; one more piece of you that makes you who you are - and reminds him of why he fights.

[jinns-anime-shit]

Imagine you’re one of Yuji’s cousins and you lived in the US until you found out his grandpa died and so you move back to Japan to become Yuji’s guardian but Choso is already taking care of him and won’t let him leave so you have to live with both of them

You and Choso hate each other and are hostile at first but after a night of shared secrets and deep life stories you end up falling asleep on each others shoulders on the couch

And after that Choso starts to do small cute gestures and he smiles his cute awkward smile at you whenever he can because he loves how it makes your cheeks warm and that sweet giggle slip from your lips

And one day Yuji can’t find either of you until he knocks on your door and finds Choso cuddled up on top of the sheet with you under them and his face is buried in your side because he had a nightmare but didn’t want to wake you so he just rested there. Yuji takes a picture and sneaks out before either of you notice

And then later when Megumi is over you hear Yuji giggling about something and showing Megumi his phone. Megumi is a lot more chill and discreet but he does give you a small knowing smirk and you furrow your brows because why is he looking at you like that?

And Choso can’t stop stuttering around you and being flustered. He’s very clumsy and apologizes when he “accidentally” touches your hand when you both reach for something in the fridge but then he asks if you would rather go get dinner at a restaurant

You agree and instead of staying at a restaurant Choso gets take out and walks with you to a park where a picnic blanket is set up with tiny battery-lit candles (because he doesn’t trust the wind)

He awkwardly runs off to a tree and steps behind it to grab a pot with your favorite plant/flower inside. The pot is a simple ceramic but it’s clearly been painted and it’s a sloppy picture of the two of you with a heart in the middle

Your smile is brighter than the moon as you take it and tell him it’s perfect and you love it. He blurts out that he’s in love with you and you giggle, saying that he should at least take you out on another date before deciding that he’s in love, but when his expression drops you immediately tell him you’re just teasing

He asks if you like him as well and you laugh, making him self conscious again, to which you quickly cover by saying “well duh I like you!” His cute and awkward smile bursts onto his face and you giggle while leaning over and kissing his cheek

Yuji and Megumi are hiding in some of the other trees and Yuji is taking pictures of you and Choso while Megumi struggles to hold him from falling. He debates dropping Yuji but decides he might get dumped if he does, and despite finding him absolutely annoying, he’s fallen for Yuji (not literally, he’s got good balance)

But eventually Megumi’s grip gets weak and he does end up dropping Yuji, but he soon follows after as a big gust of wind knocks him off of the branch. You and Choso look over and both run to the boys, only to find Yuji laughing as Megumi’s hair is covered with leaves and sticks. Choso makes sure Yuji is okay while you pluck the twigs from Megumi’s hair. You scold them and ask them what they were doing, only for Yuji to show you the pictures

You look at Choso with a smirk and ask if he knew they would be here, and he sheepishly scratches his neck and admits that yes, he asked them to help him with taking you out on a date. You just grin and wrap your arms around him in a hug, burying your face in his chest which makes his cheeks turn beet red. He smiles again and reciprocates the hug before you pull back and give him a proper kiss.

He’s stunned, gooped, and gagged. He’s frozen in place. He had his first kiss with the most amazing person to ever exist, and now he gets to take you home and hopefully make it under the sheets when cuddling this time, because he nearly froze the other night with your massive industrial sized fan blowing

You live happily ever after, unless Satoru and Suguru are around being the chaotic husbands that they are. At least Megumi can keep Yuji calm (most of the time, except for when Nobara is around)

[cr0cutacr0cuta]

Loving Darius Deamonne: A LONG tumblr essay about my favorite character from The Owl House, and why I think his potential was missed but hinted at.

Hey heres an edit: forgot that Gus existed, my bad. :sob: I love him too just not as much.

Darius Deamonne is a great character and you should love him too and here's why.

It goes beyond me just loving him for being black and pretty obviously gay (at least some sort of mlm) in my eyes. Which is good! He's black and somewhat feminine and it's never played for laughs. He's still treated like a threat and like a very powerful and influential person. Which I wholeheartedly appreciate it.

Which is the first thing I wanna touch on I guess?

I also want to say that some of this is based off of interviews that Dana Terrace has done for the show, as well as piecing theories together based on the information we DO know about Darius.

And no I won't proofread this because I have anxiety about re-reading anything I write, so sorry for the typos in advanced. :,)

I was going to do this in parts but everything is bleeding together so much that I can't. I'll sum up all the most important things in bullet points at the end!

This will probably be my shortest section here. Darius is very reminiscent of effeminate Disney Villains such as Scar or Gaston. He's very into fashion and self pampering. He even has a menacing sounding French/Greek roots last name that DOES invoke demons. Even if that's not the true meaning behind the name, but we'll get back to that later in this section.

Darius is first hinted at in Season 1 Episode 13, "The First Day". His simplified visage appearing on the Abomination Coven banner.

Man, look at how sinister and mysterious they made him look. He also appears to MAYBE be wearing a different outfit than he does in the rest of the series proper. There's not a lot to say or analyze here, I just think his banner is super neat.

The second time we see Darius is in the flashback segment of "Young Blood, Old Souls". We see his younger design first before we even get a glimpse of his present one. I just really like that detail and the implication that Darius was a character that was very heavily on the writer's mind from the jump.

Now his real, first proper appearance is very wild. Very important. I don't know too much about cinematography and framing, but I do know a little bit of the basics.

Let's look at his first true appearance in Season 2 Episode 6, "Hunting Pailsmen".

We do see his shadow in the shot before this, but I just want to point out that Darius is straight up the first coven head we see in the introduction to all of them. (We do see Mason in an earlier episode but it was in a more comedic role and he doesn't speak.)

This framing putting Darius front and center doesn't stop here.

In the first proper serious group shot of the coven heads, Darius is in the middle. Firstly, the perspective frames Darius as the biggest person in the shot. Maybe besides Hettie, but she's also pretty tall and scaled down because of the perspective. He's also the one in the center of the shot, in the center of some of the most powerful people and most influental people in the isles.

This does imply importance.

It even goes further in the next shot.

Darius is at the side here, sure. But he's put next to Mason who probably has the plainest design out of all the coven heads. (I'm sure he's fine.) But it almost feels like he was put next to Darius to make Darius' framing look more important. With the rest of the more uniquely designed coven heads smaller, at the back, and rendered in less color because of the light from the cauldron (?) in the shot.

Even in the storyboard, Darius seems ot have a bit more detail than everyone else. And if not that, his expression is more clear and intense than the other's.

This makes me wonder how important Darius was to the narrative before the show got canceled. Like yes, Raine ended up being the most important person here in the end. Rightfully so. I still just wondered what was there intention with the compositions of these scenes. Was Darius meant to be more important, or was this a misdirect?

He's in such a unique spot in the story, that I doubt it was unintentional. Darius was supposed to be explored much more according to Dana.

Snippet of the interview from TV Tropes.

So we know Darius was supposed to be explored more as a character in a hypothetical, fully realized season 3. I really would have done anything to see that, honestly.

That's all I have to really say for this section. I'm just bummed that all this foreshadowing and planning was destroyed because of Disney's mismanagement of the show. It also sucks that the main black character we see in the show is one of the biggest causalities from it. Moving on.

So back to Darius being like renaissance era Disney villains...He's vain, he's powerful, and quite possibly...He's manipulative. Mainly, it seems, towards the other coven heads.

Remember what Hunter says in "Any Sport in a Storm" about the coven heads...

This is very much speculation on my part. But I think Darius has been in the rebellion game for a while. I can't say he's a direct leader and I can't say he has an entire group behind him until Raine comes along. But I wouldn't put it above him to use mind games to help slow Belos' progress. I think Darius may have been purposely sowing discourse between the other coven heads.

Mind you, a lot of them are already conniving on their own. But I don't put it past him to stoke the flames to cause chaos for Belos' plans.

This does beg the question, how long has Darius been at this? How long has he been TRYING to dismantle the Emperor's hold on the Isles?

Again, speculation warning, but I do think Darius may have been at least skeptical of Belos and looking into what he was doing since his mentor died.

Imagine, your mentor is the leader of the Emperor's Coven. The Emperor's personal right hand man. Then he just...dies one day. And since Belos says that all the previous guards had in fact, betrayed him, what's to say that the previous Golden Guard didn't tell Darius he was going to betray Belos?

Like yes, he could have not told Darius in an attempt to protect him. Darius obviously meant a lot to him and he obviously meant a lot to Darius. Though I also think that he would want to save Darius and everyone else. And if he couldn't, he would want Darius to save himself and everyone else. I can't prove that Darius was told anything, but I wouldn't be surprised.

So Darius may have just...Straight up been in the trenches for years at this point. He does say that he rebelled because he found "The Day of Unity suspicious"...But Darius has exaggerated on screen before. He's also been straight up lying to a lot of peers for possibly years. He can be an unreliable narrator here.

This also means he is a stereotypical renaissance villain turned on it's head. He looks very evil, but my mans is just semi goth, loves fashion, and is an anarchist. He's not a villain, just an anti-hero.

With that said, let's talk about his relationship with Hunter, which seems to be pretty complicated.

Darius starts out seemingly looking at Hunter with distain. I think about what Dana says about Darius' main motivations not only being to help people, but to care about the ones that he loves. The implications that Darius' main driving force is love, not only for people personally in his life, but for his community, the people of the isles, seems pretty significant.

I think love maybe Darius' main, true character trait.

Love, especially when it ties into grief, can really make people lash out. Not everyone reacts this way, but we've already established that Darius can be pretty full of wrath when he wants to be.

To me it's very clear that Darius is projecting the anger he feels from his grief onto Hunter. Which yes, is messed up. There's no excuse for it. He eventually seems to grow and change at least, and that's good.

I can definitely see WHY he would feel the way he does towards Hunter at first though. Your mentor is murdered one day and you get little explanation, he also may have hinted at something deeper and darker happening within the leadership of your community before he does. Then he's replaced by some kid that, probably to you, came out of nowhere. He's the emperor's nephew. Didn't his family die a long time ago? Did his mentor have a child that he didn't even mention?

Which does beg the question...Does Darius know that Hunter is a grimwalker? I don't know? I don't think so. I think he's very suspicious of the whole situation at the very least. You're also frustrated with the kid about being a follower, about not looking at the bigger picture, about just being a soldier and not his own person. Because you're sure that being a follower, being subservient, is what lost your mentor his life.

Darius definitely could have handled this better. He could have not projected his grief onto Hunter. He could have been more open about what he wanted him to do. He could have told him to go be a kid and make friends. But he let his grief get in the way of it all. He's flawed, and that's relatable.

Seeing Hunter make friends and show some sort of autonomy seemingly broke him from seeing Hunter as just a replacement. He started seeing Hunter as his own person as Hunter did. I think that's a very important step in their growth together. I find that super interesting and very poetic.

There's also the fact that Darius probably couldn't tell Hunter about the scope of everything because he wanted to protect him from it all. I don't think Darius ever wanted Hunter to get hurt. Even if he was cruel to him initially. He was so upset in "Hollow Mind" that he shoves Raine out of the way when hears about Hunter being stuck in Belos' mind.

He also may have been scared of what Hunter would see if he had known that the Emperor had something to do with his mentor's death.

Also I guess I should mention it here because of it all tying into Darius being part of the rebellion but...There's a scene in "Eda's Requiem" where Darius is more angry about his clothes getting messed up than the fact that Raine has committed treason...Which is great foreshadowing, actually. I love the fact that Eberwolf has to remind him of the treason part so their cover doesn't get blown, probably.

Let's keep the ball rolling on the most important relationships in Darius' life.

We've covered Hunter and his mentor, so let's move onto Eberwolf.

Eberwolf is pretty heavily implied to be like a sibling to Darius. There's a lot of unexplored territory here and it makes me really sad. So this'll probably be the most sparsely talked about relationship here despite the fact that Darius and Eberwolf spend almost all of their screen time together.

I think the thing I want to point out was that Darius was not willing to let Eberwolf harmed or possibly killed during their fight with other coven heads on the day of unity. I feel like this may elude to a few things.

Darius cannot bare to lose someone in his life again. Or can't bare to see it, possibly again. He backs off immediately and the fear in his eyes is real.

Which shout out the animators for making that very apparent.

It's also very apparent in Eberwolf's expression as well. The expressions just say so much and tell so much of the story between the two that we don't get to see. We get shown and not told...Even if we weren't shown in a more direct way.

Saw this in another post but the scenes following where Eberwolf and Darius appear, also imply pretty heavily that when the spell started working, Eberwolf wanted to run to Darius. But he was in too much pain himself to make it over to him.

Darius knew they were all going to die if he didn't do anything but he chose not to anyway because the pain of losing Eberwolf right in front of him in such a terrible way stopped him. Darius let his fear of loss of someone he really cared about potential damn everyone on the isles. Another flaw, but another important note to tack onto his character.

Like yes, he would have saved everyone else but he probably would have caused him more heartache that he couldn't handle. He'd already been through a lot losing his mentor (and his best friend/possible love interest, but oh we will get to you, Alador Blight.), and this kind of implies that he probably couldn't do it again.

Though Darius acts smart and kind of logical, he's very driven by his emotions, his love and grief in particular, seemingly.

That being said, let's move on from Eberwolf. We're going to skip the obvious for now, and go onto why Darius is probably the best coven head or at least in the running next to Raine.

I'd like to let you all know that the abomination coven is pretty consistently stacked. Not only do they have Principal Bump, who has been shown to be a powerful which in his own right from his debut episode, but Alador, who's Darius' rival yes...But it's pretty lightly implied that Darius and Alador had shared their innovations and interests in abominations when they were younger. Alador probably knows some of what he knows from Darius. Though you could probably say the same the other way around, Alador didn't end up becoming the coven head. Darius is obviously the more skilled abomination user of the two.

Then you have up and coming prospects like Amity who's consistently been shown to be pretty powerful.

Willow even says in "I Was A Teenager Abomination":

"There are better opportunities on this track." when referring to the abomination tract at school.

Now don't get me wrong, coven system = bad. But I don't think the sense of community the coven system provides for witches is ALL bad.

I think the implication here, though subtle, is that Darius is fostering probably the most powerful coven in the entire system.

He's investing and nurturing new prospects. He's providing opportunities for witches in his coven that other covens are not. Darius truly cares about his community. He truly cares about his craft and furthering it through communal growth. He even wrote a book to show his knowledge with the people of the isles.

Darius has been shown to be on of the few characters who can change his form. He does this at will (seemingly) without the help of a curse of any kind. Darius is just powerful enough to change into an abomination monster and he's the only character who can do it. Which is impressive considering how stacked the rest of the abomination users in the show are.

Even Alador has made pretty rad innovations to the craft, even if Darius doesn't completely agree with them.

I also want to say that this points to Darius maybe being a engineer like Alador...but to contrast Alador being a mechanical one he's a genetic engineer, and that might be what's going on with his form. But that's again, pure speculation just from his seemingly opposite theming to Alador.

So it seems like Darius is also a good leader. One with a sense of duty and nurturing towards his community.

Now last but not least...

Let's fucking talk about.

AlaDarius.

Man I have so much to fucking say about these two HOLY SHIT.

They are literally only on screen together like 4 times and it's in the epilogue but just the implications we get from the little breadcrumbs we do have...Oh man.

So Darius and Alador were friends. We can prove that. They seemed to be on good teams in "Thems the Breaks, Kid." Alador talking to Darius and laughing once he flicks some abomination goo onto his face. With Odalia observing, unfortunately.

There's a lot that can be inferred by this. I don't think Odalia was always like she is now. But power, and maybe the prospect of it, corrupts. There's a lot that could have happened between these three.

Some theories:

It's possible that Odalia didn't have as many prospects as Darius or Alador coming up. Which might be why she pursued Alador in the first place. Alador's family has money, Odalia has a manipulative business sense, Alador is socially awkward and probably can't conduct business as well so that maybe got her in good with his family.

Maybe she even manipulated Alador into loving her over Darius by whispering lies in his ears and fueling the rivalry between them. Maybe she got Alador to push Darius away.

There's also the prospect that Alador's marriage to Odalia was arranged for whatever reason. Maybe his parents also told him to push Darius away because of that because they knew Alador and Darius were catching feelings for each other. Alador could have thought that this was normal and had a sense of duty to his family that he put over his love for Darius.

This could also be why he was okay with Odalia telling Amity to cut ties with Willow. Alador may have been forced to do the exact same thing.

And we've already established that when Darius cares about someone, he cares about them very hard. He loves and he loves deep. He already lashed out at Hunter because he loved his mentor so deeply, so why wouldn't he lash out at Alador for essentially abandoning him?

I think it's very clear that Darius loved Alador. Maybe he still does after all these years considering how he acted in the epilogue.

I mean look at him.

He shakes Alador in excitement and pride and pulls away all embarrassed. Pretending he still doesn't have feelings. He even like, touches his chest it's insane and insanely cute. Alador not knowing how to feel is also funny because he probably thinks Darius had either let go of his feelings or he's just surprised that he'd show him any kind of affection after everything.

I also have a theory that Darius possibly been wanting to reconnect with Alador for years. I think the rebellion and wanting to protect Alador from possibly getting threatened if he himself got caught might be a reason. It also might be anxiety. Maybe he's scared Alador might find a reason to abandon him again. Maybe he's actually actively traumatized by that prospect and he has work through it (god I wish this show had more time). Maybe it's all habit at this point too. He's just used to pushing Alador away at this point. Hell, maybe he even thinks that Alador should just be focusing on his children considering their mother is no longer in the picture and they're all healing as a family and he feels like that has nothing to do with him.

There's a lot of speculation.

I'm willing to bet SOME of this is right.

I also don't think this should be downplayed considering that Darius never mentions Odalia when seeing the abomaton in "Eda's Requiem." He didn't have to say anything at all but he's so hurt and so petty about being hurt by Alador SPECIFICALLY that he tells Kikimora to tell him that he's a hack.

There's something going on and I want to know what it is and I'm 80% sure that it's romantic.

I also want to also point out that we see Alador and Darius standing together in the very last shot of the show.

Like they do genuinely look like a family unite here and I truly appreciate it. It might take some time but but that's alright. I think they can figure it out. I think they genuinely can mend their relationship with each other since Darius was able to mend his with Hunter and Alador with his children.

They're both so flawed and had to grow in similar aspects. They're both so different but have these little bridges that truly connect them. Their love for abominations. How they both weren't the best father figures at first but learned to be better for their kids.

There's a lot of undertones with this relationship I truly enjoy.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT HIS DESIGN.

I've been writing this essay for over 3 hours so I'm going to try to make this fast.

I won't go into how Darius is very effeminate Disney villain again, so I'll jump straight into his color palette.

Darius has 5 basic colors/shades in his design.

Black: Black invokes a few things. They all kind of pertain to Darius. Black can mean mystery. His past is very mysterious. He's basically a spy, which are mysterious. Black can also mean elegance and power. He loves fancy clothes and is very powerful.

Purple: Darius has a few shades of purple on him. This can be a nod to his craft as the abomination coven head. Purple also invokes regality which might be a nod to his influence in the witch community at large. Though not a ruler, he does have a presence that does seem almost like royalty. It's also the color of imagination. The abominations are somewhat like living sculptures, like art, eluding to imagination. He also sews, probably making his own outfits, which is a very creative endeavor. Purple also invokes compassion, enlightenment, and encouragement. It's also attached to those who are emotional and sensitive and sometimes immature.

Green: Green is a fantastic contrast to purple. I'm guessing this is why Darius' eyes were changed from purple to green. It made more sense with his design and gave it a bit more pop. While green is the color of envy (possibly eluding to his possibly jealousy of Odalia and Alador's relationship), it's also the color of judgement (again, looking at Alador) and materialism (my man loves his clothes). The positive side to this is green representing healing and growth as well. They represent things that Darius needs to let go and things that he actually needs.

Gold: Gold represents luxury, success, triumph, and loyalty. I feel like that's all pretty self explanatory considering all I've discussed so far. Darius studied hard under the olden guard to be successful, he triumphant and became the coven head, he's loyal to everyone he loves and his community. And he does enjoy a bit of luxury, too. :)

White: White actually means a lot of things. The ones I think pertain to Darius most are actually cleanliness, coldness, and purity believe it or not. Obviously he likes to be clean. Coldness because of how distant he starts towards Hunter, and how he maybe pushing away certain people because he doesn't want them getting hurt if he gets found out in the rebellion. This cold also be why his gloves are white. They're a symbol of his coldness over his hands. His coldness keeps him from touching other's, literally. It keeps him distant. Now purity maybe the surprising one here, but it's most so about his intentions, and his sense of duty, and his need to protect. Those things all come from a pure place, a pure good. Even if he himself isn't pure good. It's still in him. Also shout out to perfection as a meaning too but it's not confirmed but he seems like the type who would be a perfectionist.

Overall, his palette actually tells you everything you need to know about him. His silhouette is also pretty memorable. You can look at just that and know, yeah THAT'S Darius Deamonne. You can also tell little things about him from his silhouette through his posture and shapes of his clothes.

I'll also briefly mention his name.

Darius is a name of Persian/Greek/Latin Origin. It means "possessing goodness". And man that feels like a dead giveaway for him not being a bad guy once I type it now. The name can also mean "rich/king like" which...TRUE. And also it can mean "he who holds firm to good". Which is also true. It's also a very popular name among Black folks in the US.

Deamonne is... A little more complicated. It's both French and Greek oddly enough. There's not a lot about this name out there, honestly. Usually when you look it up on google most of the results pertain to well...Darius himself.

Deamonne might be a reference to the word daemon, itself a previous form of the word "demon"...But Daemons themselves are pretty different. The Greek meaning of the word seems to be "A divinity who or supernatural being of a nature between gods and humans." I wonder if MAYBE it's a nod to his status of being able to transform into abomination matter, making him maybe a hybrid or somewhere between being a witch or abomination? Who knows? Hard to say with this one.

I guess that's it! Maybe I'll reblog with an update if I can think of more. But this is my genuine exploration of why Darius means so much to me and why he deserved way better than he got.

These are all breadcrumbs really, and that's what makes his story so, so alluring. Because if they could tell this much with this little, I wonder what the could have showed us if he had even just a full episode to himself.

Here's the tl;dr with all the important points:

Darius probably had a bigger part to play in the Owl House's plot that got cut because of it's cancelation.

Darius' main driving emotion and motivation seems to be love.

Darius may have been planning to betray Belos for longer than we thought.

Darius is probably very scared of losing someone he loves again.

Darius come off as a little cold and distant because of those fears.

He'd lay down his life for people he loves.

He might be the best coven head in terms in leadership.

His color scheme and name lay out his character pretty bare.

I'm sure there's more here but thanks for reading. Sorry this ran long. I actually probably forgot some things in the summery above because I've been writing this for hours.

Have a good day and remember:

I'd give my soul and all my money for a Darius Deamonne spin off.

[princelylove]

OMG Your Highness Fugo canonically wears a thong!! i can't believe it nbjdukjdsnf i just read it and was like huh? 😭 i searched it and it is truee

Pannacotta wearing a thong has always made total sense to me for his character, and for his design. You don’t wear cut-outs riiiiight below your belt and wear briefs with them, you’d be showing the world whatever pattern you chose this morning. 

What about the rest of Team Bucciarati's underwear, though?

I’m very big on ‘fem Giorno is canon and the cast just doesn’t realize it,’ although I’ve only publicly written for masc Giorno, which is a shame. Giorno is the type of girl whose bra always matches her underwear, she normally buys sets or pairs that match her bras. Her bras are wired, without padding, lord knows she doesn't need it. (DIO's genes wouldn't allow for a small chest, even if Giorno's ballet experience has made her thin, they're still There, just not absurdly big either.) The patterns are usually- you guessed it- roses and solid pale pinks or whites. Her underwear is just as ornate and delicate as you’d think- tons of lace, lots of bows, and a feeling like you're about to sell your soul if you remove them.

You can see the band of Guido's underwear when he stretches. He normally alternates between boxers and tight fitting trunks. Guido is the type of guy to be in absolute heaven if his fem darling were to give him her underwear- he'd wear them. It's like a special secret, and you're touching, even if it's not direct.... He's such a simple man. Guido normally buys high end clothes (my source is the very same interview that this anon cited, but I can link it as necessary), his philosophy naturally extends to his underwear. As for patterns, solid grey and black are fine, but he likes a little animal print too.

Trish is a victoria’s secret kinda girl, although she has some dolce & gabbana lingerie that she deeply treasures, and often wears as regular tops. Either Trish canonically wears push up bras, or Guido mistook her sizing whatever other bra she had on down for a push up, because of the tightness. Guido is not a reliable source, but I'm going to say that she likes push up bras because it's a very classic victoria's secret choice. As for her underwear, she probably favors bikini cuts or brazilians. She likes animal prints, stripes, and underwear with words on it. A pair with 'EAT ME' on the front is her favorite.

Narancia wears loose, non-clingy trunks. He gets upset if you tease him for wearing 'short' underwear, but doesn't exactly stop. Narancia likes breathable underwear, which is ironic, considering he prefers his tops to be tight fitting. He likes silly patterns, but he doesn't realize it doesn't come off as super mature. His favorite is a pair with cookies and crumbs on it. Narancia isn't the type to hand wash his delicates, he just throws them into the wash regardless of their material.

Leone either wears clingy trunks or trunk briefs. I'm not sure if that's the proper name for it, but I mean the one that looks like women's hipsters. He's fond of compression underwear, just without padding. He's got too much pride for padding, and doesn't really need it. Leone likes a little bit of lace on his hips, but finds it annoying to have them on his legs. Most of his underwear is pure black, but some of them have white lace instead. A few pairs have veeeery small ribbons on them in the front, with little charms on it. Yes, the charms are normally a small, metal 'A.'

Bruno is the type to switch between women's lingerie and very basic men's boxer briefs, depending on what he's going to do that day. For the women's lingerie, he likely prefers cheeky underwear or just thongs, as long as they're similar to the tattoo on his chest. For the boxer briefs, he prefers clingy types that go to his mid thigh. He wears the thongs significantly more than the boxer briefs.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Helloo there, I hope you had a nice new year!

I'm an INTP here, and I need some guidance on how I can handle cultivating more empathy and social skills. I've had a lack of empathy since I was young. I am not sure what triggered it or led to it. But It's hard for me to form proper connections with people as a result.

When I was younger, I was a silent kid because i had almost no interest in socializing. I've noticed an issue where i was extremely selfish or cruel. For example, around the age of 6 to 12, I would get a sort of gratification when I purposely made my friend sad, I would find tiny reason to break of the friendship, and feel no remorse to it. I treated people more like experiments than friends. The only major fear I had was towards authority figures such as teachers.

Another thing I've noticed is that I have no strong recollection of good/bad memories. I can not remember the times I have been emotionally hurt or happy memories. The only major emotions I show are annoyance, happiness, and sadness if something happened to me only and never for anyone else.

I also find it hard to remember any important details of conversations and how I talked with people. Leading to fights because they bring up something i did, which i can not recall. My conversations are dull, I can't seem to generate emotions naturally. It feels like I have to fake every expression at times, as friends have previously called me a robot, due to my monotone behaviour.

I also find it hard to speak without saying something awkward and unfit for the conversation. It seems like my thoughts are many degrees away from the original path of the conversation. While everyone else can talk smoothly and reply in a way that continues the conversations, my replies fall flat and end with an awkward laugh.

As you might be able to guess, my friendships are quite shallow and unfulfilling, too. I often find it a chore to maintain relationships, almost taking an extreme amount of energy to reply to a text. Even if the other person has a keen interest in me.

But I still so desire good friendships, I keep myself cheerful and smiley, so that people don't turn off from me at first glance.

I've noticed these traits so often and spiralled down into sadness, believing that I might be sociopathic and that I am intrinsically a bad person. (I am prone to victim mentality, which made it worse).

It's only after I reached college and got into a failed relationship that I've consciously tried to fix myself. I've realised what an unfulfilling and selfish life I've been living.

I've tried living in the moment, trying to feel peoples emotions, putting in effort, listening more, trying to converse more, approach people, and, in general, involve myself in the class. But all it takes is one bad mood for me to undo all my progress and turn silent again.

My feelings of insecurity and envy have been raised, too, as my ex is now dating someone who is empathetic, sensitive, and socially adept.

I want to know

How to get out of this constant rut of motivation and failure to change.

How to live in the moment and talk, getting over the fear that I will say something unfit.

How to be more empathetic in general.

How to be more secure inside so that i can focus more outside and on my friendships.

---------------------

Lack of empathy or empathy deficit is a complicated topic in psychology, so this might be a lot for you to process. Yes, empathy can be conceptualized as a skill to improve and build up through learning and practice. However, like any skill, some people will have more genetic aptitude with it than others, so some people struggle with it more than others.

It sounds like you've already done some research and tried a few techniques with meh results. Unfortunately, your way of working toward a solution is very slow because you still don't know the "why". It's hard to solve a problem when you don't know the root cause because then the only method available to you is trial-and-error. It can indeed become very discouraging when you get error after error or don't see any meaningful progress.

Empathy deficit can be thought of as a symptom, which means there are many possible psychological issues/disorders that can give rise to it. It might benefit you to get assessed by a mental health professional with expertise about empathy deficit. It's important to investigate what lies behind it in order to discover the right way to address it.

For example, both autism and narcissism can produce empathy deficit but the mechanisms that impede empathy development are very different when you compare the two, so the treatment plans would end up looking very different once you tailor them to each individual's needs. Some people lack empathy simply because they have never been loved by anyone due to growing up in an environment of extreme neglect. Having never felt love, they don't know what it is and of course don't know how to show it.

One reason empathy deficit is a thorny subject is because of social stigma, especially since it often gets associated with psychopathy or sociopathy as you mentioned. Many psychologists don't use these labels because of the stigma and because they are imprecise. When a psychological term is widely used by the general public, it starts to lose meaning or the meaning gets extremely fuzzy, which renders it less and less useful for diagnostic purposes. People think "psychopath" and they picture a serial killer, which isn't helpful.

Personally, I'm even wary of using the word "disorder" because it often leads people to believe they are somehow "broken"; the way they behave is "wrong" and has to be changed to the "right" way. While some psychological problems should be called a disorder, I personally don't believe that empathy deficit itself should be, unless it is accompanied by dysfunctional behavior that indicates the presence of a serious mental disorder.

My understanding of empathy deficit is that it's more like a "disability", similar to blindness or deafness. What's the advantage of approaching empathy deficit as a disability? A) It's not your fault that your brain has low aptitude for empathy, so shame is completely unwarranted. B) A disability is something you can come to comfortably accept as a part of you, but also something you need to learn to adapt to, in order to live a fuller life. Thus, the question isn't "what's wrong with me?" but rather "how can I adapt better to having this disability?"

Empathy isn't an on/off switch. There are degrees of empathy. Some people have minimal to no empathy. Some people have too much empathy. Most people fall somewhere in the middle of having empathy much of the time but still capable of acting like a selfish jerk some of the time.

The way INTPs approach the world tends to be conceptual and intellectual, so it might help you to approach empathy in more cognitive rather than emotional terms. The most basic way to explain empathy is the ability to conceptualize/visualize another person's mind and understand what's going on in there. There are many paths to reaching that understanding, so psychologists distinguish between different kinds of empathy:

Affective empathy or emotional empathy is about sharing someone else's feelings and emotions. For instance, people with normal empathy would feel sad upon seeing their friend feeling sad about their dog dying. By sharing feelings and emotions with someone, it can lessen their burden and help them feel better. Expressing empathy in this way is a common method of showing how much you care about someone's well-being. When people talk about empathy deficit, it is usually affective empathy they are referring to. Try as they might, some people just can't muster enough care or concern about others.

Another kind of empathy is cognitive empathy, which is basically about modeling someone else's mind. Ti+Ne might help you with this. You could take your own experience and try to extrapolate from it to understand someone else.

For example, do you feel anything when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, such as ask how you're doing, give you a gift, or answer a question for you online? People with normal empathy would feel warmth, appreciation, gratitude, closeness/intimacy, care, love, or a sense of mattering. If you feel good when someone does something nice for you, you can extrapolate from it and guess that someone else may also feel good when you do something nice for them. This is the rationale behind the common advice of treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Even if you aren't capable of feeling good when someone does something nice for you, you can still observe that it is a common phenomenon in the general population. Therefore, you can deduce, through empirical investigation of cause and effect, that people doing nice things for each other is an important aspect of maintaining good relations. This can then be turned into a good principle or practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you have to occasionally do nice things for them (so that they can feel justified in continuing the friendship)." You don't have to use your own emotion to arrive at good principles of action; you can also use logic and common sense to get a similar result.

Empathy is also closely linked to compassion, which is about taking action in accordance with empathic feelings. For example, seeing a friend get injured on the street, it isn't enough to just stand there and feel for them, right? Feeling bad for them should also prompt you to take action to help or save them from further injury or death.

If you can't feel bad for people who are injured, you can still understand, intellectually, that it's not a great situation. Instead of acting on empathic feelings you don't have, you could act out of logic and common sense, knowing that, universally, nobody likes to lie there vulnerable and bleeding on the street. Once again, this could lead you to create a principle/practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you should take action whenever they need help."

If you're not capable of affective empathy, you are still capable of cognitive empathy as long as you are of normal intelligence. Most people rely more on affective than cognitive empathy. However, since you suffer this "disability" of not being able to generate enough affective empathy, you could rely more on cognitive empathy as an adaptation.

Maybe it's impossible for you to become the beloved social butterfly wowing everyone with your charisma, but you can still form meaningful relationships with a handful of people. When you meet a good candidate for friendship, be open and honest about your challenges, then they will know to show you more empathy and patience. As long as you're willing to put out some effort for them, they will return it. Relationships require reciprocity.

This brings us to the last point of "effort", which relates to motivation. Motivation often arises from emotionality; people have a strong desire or feel strongly about something, so they take action. What happens when your feelings and emotions are too muted to motivate action?

Human beings are motivated by a great number of things. The motivation to connect with other people is but one of them. In many cases, empathy deficit doesn't mean a person is incapable of empathizing. It's more precise to say that they can empathize but the motivation is too easily overridden by other conflicting motivations.

To give you a simple example, maybe you just worked a long day on your feet and you're utterly exhausted. You get on the bus to go home and there's only one seat left that's reserved for the disabled or elderly. You take it because no one else wants it. Later, a very frail old man gets on the bus and eyes your seat. What do you do? Many people, out of empathy, would yield the seat. A low empathy person can still feel bad for the old man. The issue is that their empathy level isn't strong enough to override the more pressing motivation to rest.

Oftentimes in relationships, you are faced with a dilemma of having to choose between yourself and others. Instead of thinking of it in terms of "I only care about me and I don't care about them", you can think of it like this:

I have multiple motivations. 1) I want to do what I want to do. 2) But I also want to keep this person as my friend. Just because motivation 1 is always stronger than 2 doesn't mean I always have to choose that way.

Since my feelings and emotions are muted, I do not have the mental resources to satisfy all of my motivations all of the time. I must ensure that I am not too otherwise stressed/taxed when trying to socialize. And I must calculate which motivation is most worthwhile to follow based on the situation.

When faced with a social dilemma, I must analyze which motivation is going to lead me to a better outcome via weighing the pros and cons objectively. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking care of my own needs. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking action to keep my friend. In some situations, I can be super smooth and efficient and do something that will benefit both of us at the same time. Make the smartest choice given the circumstances.

Taking some extra time to think through possible outcomes helps you make better social decisions (and develop Ne properly). Just like a visually impaired person has to put out effort to read braille or a hearing impaired person has to put out effort to use sign language, you must put out some effort to learn adaptations that will help you participate better in relationships and social situations.

You don't have to overthink. You can learn about people through observation and asking them simple questions. You can follow some basic principles like: compliment people when they do something good; offer help on occasion; say please and thank you; etc. Perhaps read about social etiquette to learn some good rules of thumb. Perhaps study communication skills so that you can express yourself more effectively.

An important aspect of maintaining motivation is regularly getting good results along the way. As INTP, you should be good at analyzing past mistakes for lessons to learn, in a scientific or experimental way. Try something and it doesn't work, don't do it again. Something worked well, try it again. It only works some of the time? Isolate the relevant factors to predict which situations it's more likely to work. You've obviously made some progress since childhood because you now actually care about this issue enough to feel bad and reach out for guidance. When feeling down, people tend to fixate on failure and it's easy to lose sight of all the little improvements achieved. Make sure to review the things you've done well, no matter how small, as a way to keep your motivation up.

Although empathy is an important ingredient in relationships, there are still ways to proceed without it. As long as you have some motivation to socialize, no matter how small or muted, there is hope to build something more out of it. Use those feelings of loneliness, regret, or sadness you just told me about to enhance your motivation and your desire to live your life in a better way (as opposed to wallowing in negativity).

You don't have to be "noble" and take action for others purely because you care deeply about them. Maybe it's enough to do it as a thank you to them for sticking around to make your life more fulfilling. It's not a competition of "me vs them", so don't think of relationships as a "sacrifice". By making them happy, you also make yourself happy, because you get to have a friend. Fe teaches you that good relationships should be win-win, even when you care more about your win than theirs.

[butchdarling]

Just got The Left Hand of Darkness from the library again and I like the author's note so much I'm just gonna post the whole thing

Science fiction is often described, and even defined, as extrapolative. The science fiction writer is supposed to take a trend or phenomenon of the here-and-now, purify and intensify it for dramatic effect, and extend it into the future. "If this goes on, this is what will happen." A prediction is made. Method and results much resemble those of a scientist who feeds large doses of a purified and concentrated food additive to mice, in order to predict what may happen to people who eat it in small quantities for a long time. The outcome seems almost inevitably to be cancer. So does the outcome of extrapolation. Strictly extrapolative works of science fiction generally arrive about where the Club of Rome arrives: somewhere between the gradual extinction of human liberty and the total extinction of terrestrail life.

This may explain why many people who do not read science fiction describe it as "escapist," but when ques- tioned further, admit they do not read it because "it's so depressing." Almost anything carried to its logical extreme be. comes depressing, if not carcinogenic.

Fortunately, though extrapolation is an element in science fiction, it isn't the name of the game by any means, It is far too rationalist and simplistic to satisfy the imagi native mind, whether the writer's or the reader's. Variables are the spice of life.

This book is not extrapolative. If you like you can read it, and a lot of other science fiction, as a thought-experiment. Let's say (says Mary Shelley) that a young doctor creates a human being in his laboratory; let's say (says Philip K. Dick) that the Allies lost the Second World War; let's say this or that is such and so, and see what happens.... In a story so conceived, the moral complexity proper to the modem novel need not be sacrificed, nor is there any built-in dead end; thought and intuition can move freely within bounds set only by the terms of the experiment, which may be very large indeed.

The purpose of a thought-experiment, as the term was used by Schrödinger and other physicists, is not to predict the future indeed Schrödinger's most famous thought- experiment goes to show that the "future," on the quantum level, cannot be predicted- but to describe reality, the present world.

Science fiction is not predictive; it is descriptive. Predictions are uttered by prophets (free of charge), by clairvoyants (who usually charge a fee, and are therefore more honored in their day than prophets), and by futurologists (salaried). Prediction is the business of prophets, clairvoyants, and futurologists. It is not the business of novelists. A novelist's business is lying. The weather bureau will tell you what next Tuesday will be like, and the Rand Corporation will tell you what the twenty-first century will be like. I don't recommend that you turn to the writers of fiction for such information. It's none of their business. All they're trying to do is tell you what they're like, and what you're like-what's going on-what the weather is now, today, this moment, the rain, the sunlight, look! Open your eyes; listen, listen. That is what the novelists say. But they don't tell you what you will see and hear. All they can tell you is what they have seen and heard, in their time in this world, a third of it spent in sleep and dreaming, another third of it spent in telling lies.

"The truth against the world!"-Yes. Certainly. Fiction writers, at least in their braver moments, do desire the truth: to know it, speak it, serve it. But they go about it in a peculiar and devious way, which consists in inventing persons, places, and events which never did and never will exist or occur, and telling about these fictions in detail and at length and with a great deal of emotion, and then when they are done writing down this pack of lies, they say, There! That's the truth!

They may use all kinds of facts to support their tissue of lies. They may describe the Marshalsea Prison, which was a real place, or the battle of Borodino, which really was fought, or the process of cloning, which really takes place in laboratories, or the deterioration of a personality, which is described in real textbooks of psychology, and so on. This weight of verifiable place-event-phenomenon-behavior makes the reader forget that he is reading a pure invention, a history that never took place anywhere but in that unrealizable region, the author's mind. In fact, while we read a novel, we are insane- bonkers. We believe in the existence of people who aren't there, we hear their voices, we watch the battle of Borodino with them, we may even become Napoleon. Sanity returns (in most cases) when the book is closed

Is it any wonder that no truly respectable society has ever trusted its artists?

But our society, being troubled and bewildered, seeking guidance, sometimes puts an entirely mistaken trust in its artists, using them as prophets and futurologists.

I do not say that artists cannot be seers, inspired: that the awen cannot come upon them, and the god speak through them. Who would be an artist if they did not believe that that happens? If they did not know it happens, because they have felt the god within them use their tongue, their hands? Maybe only once, once in their lives. But once is enough.

Nor would I say that the artist alone is so burdened and so privileged. The scientist is another who prepares, who makes ready, working day and night, sleeping and awake, for inspiration. As Pythagoras knew, the god may speak in the forms of geometry as well as in the shapes of dreams; in the harmony of pure thought as well as in the harmony of sounds; in numbers as well as in words.

But it is words that make the trouble and confusion. We are asked now to consider words as useful in only one way: as signs. Our philosophers, some of them, would have us agree that a word (sentence, statement) has value only in so far as it has one single meaning, points to one fact that is comprehensible to the rational intellect, logically sound, and- ideally- quantifiable.

Apollo, the god of light, of reason, of proportion, harmony, number-Apollo blinds those who press too close in worship. Don't look straight at the sun. Go into a dark bar for a bit and have a beer with Dionysios, every now and then.

I talk about the gods; I am an atheist. But I am an artist too, and therefore a liar. Distrust everything I say. I am telling the truth.

The only truth I can understand or express is, logically defined, a lie. Psychologically defined, a symbol. Aesthetically defined, a metaphor.

Oh, it's lovely to be invited to participate in Futurological Congresses where Systems Science displays its grand apocalyptic graphs, to be asked to tell the newspapers what America will be like in 2001, and all that, but it's a terrible mistake. I write science fiction, and science fiction isn't about the future. I don't know any more about the future than you do, and very likely less.

This book is not about the future. Yes, it begins by an- nouncing that it's set in the "Ekumenical Year 1490-97," but surely you don't believe that?

Yes, indeed the people in it are androgynous, but that doesn't mean that I'm predicting that in a millennium or so we will all be androgynous, or announcing that I think we damned well ought to be androgynous. I'm merely observing, in the peculiar, devious, and thought-experimental manner proper to science fiction, that if you look at us at certain odd times of day in certain weathers, we already are. I am not predicting, or prescribing. I am describing. I am describing certain aspects of psychological reality in the novelist's way, which is by inventing elaborately circumstantial lies.

In reading a novel, any novel, we have to know perfectly well that the whole thing is nonsense, and then, while read- ing, believe every word of it. Finally, when we're done with it, we may find- if it's a good novel- that we're a bit different from what we were before we read it, that we have been changed a little, as if by having met a new face, crossed a street we never crossed before. But it's very hard to say just what we learned, how we were changed.

The artist deals with what cannot be said in words.

The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words.

Words can be used thus paradoxically because they have, along with a semiotic usage, a symbolic or metaphoric usage. (They also have a sound- a fact the linguistic positivists take no interest in. A sentence or paragraph is like a chord or harmonic sequence in music: its meaning may be more clearly understood by the attentive ear, even though it is read in silence, than by the attentive intellect.)

All fiction is metaphor. Science fiction is metaphor. What sets it apart from older forms of fiction seems to be its use of new metaphors, drawn from certain great dominants of our contemporary life-science, all the sciences, and technology, and the relativistic and the historical outlook, among them. Space travel is one of these metaphors; so is an alternative society, an alternative biology; the future is another. The future, in fiction, is a metaphor.

A metaphor for what?

If I could have said it non-metaphorically, I would not have written all these words, this novel; and Genly Ai would never have sat down at my desk and used up my ink and typewriter ribbon in informing me, and you, rather solemnly, that the truth is a matter of the imagination.

Ursula K. Le Guin