#like yes he is and he is still terrible
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What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?
I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.
I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay
also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 chapter 4 spoilers#stage in playful land#i hope this is legible whoops#anon i am sorry but you made the fatal mistake of asking me to talk about diasomnia#insert 'i just think they're neat' jpg#i do like the other characters a lot but they are definitely my favorites#they just hit a lot of my favorite things in characters i guess!#yes even you sebek even though you keep shrieking NINGEN at me#(it's okay he gets Character Development™ later)#and their dynamic! it's great! these guys frikking love each other SO much and they WILL have terrible terrible angst about it#ohoho delicious#give me all your emotional hangups baybeeeee#also somewhere in there i went from 'i like them all equally (but lilia is the most fun to draw)'#to 'lilia is absolutely my favorite (and still the most fun to draw) (EVEN MORE fun now thank you swishy ponytail!)'#(it was probably when his candy coating got a little scratched and whoops all the tragedy fell out)#(where's that 'get loved loser' post because i need to staple it to lilia's forehead)#i am extremely bad at putting things into words so please don't ask me to explain it any further#just know that the diafam is everything to me and if we don't get more episode 7 soon i'm going to crumble into dust and blow away#we'll be getting the crowleytimes on monday and maybe there will be. idk. some foreshadowing or something in his groovy#probably not but LOOK i'm desperate
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‘this will never be over’
For the feud and the ship that rewired my brain 🫡🫡🫡
#wwe#leigh talks wrasslin#fantasticalleigh’s art#wrestling art#wwe fanart#drew mcintyre#cm punk#punkintyre#wwe raw#monday night raw#wrestling#friday night smackdown#wwe smackdown#drewpunk#idk why this took so long tbh. at the start I really didn’t know what I wanted it to be#also shhh I know it’s a little lopsided on Drew’s part lol#yes it is meant to look like Drew has punk by the hair 😌 he’s never letting go#punk’s tatts are def in the wrong positions but I TRIED and that should count lol#Drew’s gash on his forehead is there too if you look close#also peep my TERRIBLE blending job on the full pic trying to bridge the seams between both pieces 🤣 ah well it still looks decent to me#like Drew I also have a hard time letting go of things can you tell#not that I want to let go of punkintyre lol that’s not happening any time soon. I just mean in general
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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)
"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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There’s this vision I have and I’m manifesting it
#vinland saga#canute#askeladd#up to you whether this is memoryladd or ghostladd but I intended this as an aliveladd#advisorladd even#I think they’d make a wonderful terrible team and I personally was ROBBED#so fine here I’ll do it myself#my art#also shoutout to that one canute design when he’s getting crowned like when he has a beard w shorter hair but still bangs#I love that one. underrated imo#also yes I’m gonna tag it as#askenute#you can’t stop me!!!!!!
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Best friends or something...


Feeling so much like a dead corpse lately. It's probably the stress of the semester... and being mistreated/ underappreciated a lot. Still, I'll manage.
Happy Valentine's Day to those who celebrate it, by the way! It's a coincidence that I drew something mildly mushy on the occasion, lol. It wasn't really my intention. Just gotta let these thoughts (Toxic YAOI LMAO) about them out, and then I can get back to business. If you're confused, that's just how I draw younger Jimmy and Curly. What an odd pair of friends(?)...
#mouthwashing#wrong organ#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing curly#jimmy zare#curly grant#again yes this is toxic yaoi but not extremely toxic lmao so#jimcurly#curlyjim#curly x jimmy#jimmy x curly#co pilot jimmy#captain curly#usagifuyusummerart2025#digital art#infinite painter#fanart#fanart 2025#sketch art#art#art 2025#tags or post might change if there are any mistakes#not much to babble here. just been feeling terrible. i have to continue doing my duties for a while... washing the toilet is gonna take time#still just letting these thoughts about them flow for a while. they are such intriguing characters... maybe it's how jimmy isn't seen as a#human character that makes me think about him. like how the fandom constantly dehumanizes him by yeah you've seen it. i understand why#but it just creates this... feeling of further alienation and abandonment to someone who obviously needs help#but nobody is willing to (sans Curly pre-Mouthwashing lol) because of how he is as a person. something like that. it makes me really#understand him like he obviously needs help but he doesn't acknowledge that he needs it and thus turns into a complete monster. not all of#us can be saved is what i think when i look at jimmy. thank you wrong organ/the game devs for making a game about the systemic abuse of the#working world and how it turns us into monsters. if you've read this far thank you. hope your day is good.
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let's all think about roman literally on his knees at gerri’s feet, begging to be saved. but you can’t be saved from Logan, that’s the whole point, he is a planet of a person he’s a black hole he is every decision already made. gerri tries to get him to see this — there’s no way out, no move they could possibly make against him, because Logan. always. wins. maybe if roman could give her one reason to fight for him, but there aren’t any. it’s pointless. it has nothing to do with roman, really, and everything to do with the harsh reality that Logan is the center of their universe. but all that nuance is completely lost on roman, because in that room he is seven years old again and always. and when she asks how it serves her interests, what she is saying is show me a way out, but what he hears is that she doesn't care about him. and maybe she never did.
#that was their real relationship shattering moment imo. can’t come back from that one if you never ever talk about it again#succession#romangerri#to be so clear: she cares. she cares so much it makes her look stupid. but she Is her job and that is her priority#but ALso when she says how does it serve my interests. we could also count him as one of her interests.#and how would it serve either of them if she gets fucking decapitated and frozen out and left to die. how could she do ANYTHING from there.#like yes i do think that she is also saying the plain text version of it - how does this benefit me personally. because it sure doesn't#but the power of the unconscious unspoken 'what benefits me includes you' whoooo now that. is crazymaking#if half of your two-person team just got financially and professionally obliterated. i probably would not follow him off that cliff#i think i would probably say wow your son is craaazy i totally support everything you're doing from a business angle.#even if it's a terrible interpersonal move and you WILL die alone.#like she could be (almost) completely honest and still keep his trust and her position. and then he's dead and who's next?#Gerri has a better understanding of Logan's impending death than maybe anybody. ESPECIALLY Logan. easy hill to die on because it is textual#she also doesn't grieve him at all and there are many reasons for that! but i think mostly it's that she saw it coming#only girlie besides tom who understood the concept of succession but like for real#okay done typing now#sp#i love my freakies okay leave me alone
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...
#i'm being petty but#'we should take him at his word. he said it wasn't like that.'#ah. yes. we should take him at his word#like when he said 'and I don't have to have feelings for everyone I sleep with'??#like. y'all. please.#it's fine if you don't think this is leading to buddie#but he also outright said he doesn't have feelings for his ex either. to his face.#so.#come on now#and if he DID stick around with said ex and go crawling back to that terrible relationship#does it really bode well for it that buck clearly said out loud that he has feelings for eddie#and that he understands why someone would be threatened by their relationship#while clearly defensive about his relationship with eddie and the implication that eddie is gone and therefore no longer competition#even as buck acknowledges that of course he will call eddie that's not a question that relationship is still an integral part of his life#like. there was nothing remotely romantic about what could have come out of that#there will never be a world where buck ditches eddie for tommy (or even prioritizes him over eddie)#and there will never be a world where tommy isn't actually worried about eddie's place in buck's life#so. not great building blocks for a healthy relationship#anyway#911 spoilers#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard
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said goodbye to him feeling weird!
#hes abt to go skiing w his friend im abt to go back to the uk to an ordinary life#he is perfect and I've felt appreciated none of the time and i think it's not his fault idk#not how racemic compounds work not how amphetamines work not how people work#french suits his mouth but german does a bit more i think . climbed to a very beautiful place#asked him to be my boyfriend then almost took it back yesterday. chemistry is not his strong suit#he carries things for me he catwalks he gives me his jumper when im cold he's good at kissing#he got me a beautiful necklace on a riverside in amsterdam he lights my cigarette with his#he holds my hand and his only complaint about me putting lipstick on his lips is that it wasn't evenly spread#his eyelashes are long and he's sharp and scarily productive and very good at navigation#always on time always the right place . i make a comment about being a beautiful collective and he says yes but it's odd that we havent#received the social benefits of it. what you mean? well when im alone or with friends people just...give me things. flowers baked goods#compliments a pack of cigarettes he says. he asks me if I've ever had to pay for a pack. i felt genuinely SO UGLY like am i. downgrading u?#ppl see me next to you and..what you get negative attractive points? gosh.#unfortunately shutting the fuck up is not my strong suit so i never let that go. he says nooo it's just you are So Gorgeous that you scare#people away. OK!!! he knows he's pretty and he uses this to his full advantage#you're cool and you're friends with all the club bouncers and you take such good care of me and you know#the state secrets and we can scheme murders together and i love that you love your friends#but when i joked we wont get to see each other in months and you said 'so?' that rly did smth very upsetting!!!!#twisting and backtracking is his strong suit but unfortunately seeing it happen is mine#and sometimes it's endearing and sometimes i want to kill him about it. he would be a very good diplomat#who the fuck stumbles gracefully on cliffs? anyway his voice is gentle and he says i don't want you upset#he holds my hands he says lets talk about it please i want you to know i appreciate you#he says all the correct things i believe 0 things out of his mouth and he can tell#i am snappy and terrible and calm. i tell him he's sweet and i want more i want to be missed#SHUTTING THE FUCK UP IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT! would you be ok being just friends? eventually.#and the next day ive decided what to do with you. what is that? you can still be my boyfriend. he says thank you.#walking is our strong suit so we go everywhere. i tell him about my best friend his head looks great thrown backwards#im afraid this is too good for me and I'm also afraid it's not enough. not asking questions is not my strong suit.
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ok 1 more oliver day thing. i thought this joke would be kinda funny
#my art lol#vocaloid#oliver vocaloid#flower vocaloid#fukase vocaloid#utatane piko#ok this one's just silly so idk if it needs more tags#'flower and fukase are terrible at giving gifts' is a a misconception. oliver; who asks for the weirdest shit for his bday-#jkjk. but then again my oliver is just a gremlin so he would be ecstatic about getting a chainsaw and a tarantula (to eat) for his bday LMA#not that he'll say no to that big squishy bird plush he's prob excited abt that too. but he is feral gremlin at heart... akjshgkj jk#but also WAOW YEAH. its so funny they let him age exactly one (1) year with his maghni ai release lmfao. forever 13 now?#13 is a funnier number lowkey given the like. spooky ooh unlucky number connotations. but wack tho 13 YEARS SINCE 2011?#im still on the fence abt his maghni ai voice tbh but maybe if there's more demos i'll see... really curious abt the multilingual modes#also yes bc i have a terrible sense of humor the spider-eating jokes will never get old to me. im sorry. idc if its overused its funny
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LOOK AT THEM READING TOGETHER,,,i can hear them bickering already. jj constantly telling reid she wasnt done and him bitching before turning the page back. the reason theyre making the faces they are is because reid has read this page five times already and jj has told him a thousand times to wait until she says she's done before turning the page but he doesn't LISTEN!!!
#they are siblings your honour#genuinely though why would u ever read something with dr spencer reid#thats a terrible idea#he reads so fast neither of you will be happy. terrible terrible idea#ive always thought that reid reads at a slower pace when its for leisure#and that the 20000 words a minute was maybe assessed digitally?#i dont know much about how reading speeds are calculated but i imagine it takes longer when he has to flip pages#and when ive tested my reading speed it was always “how fast can these words flash by on a screen before you can no longer comprehend them”#but i dont know what official tests are like#SORRY that got away from me. anyway point is yes ive always headcanoned that reid reads slower when its for leisure#but probably still absurdly fast and would be very annoying if you tried to read with him#jj#jennifer jareau#spencer reid#jj & reid#jennifer jareau & reid#not fic#criminal minds#criminal minds rewatch#criminal minds s02e21#open season#criminal minds 2x21
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spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol
like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?
like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao
like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀
like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk
like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable
like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao
like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀
Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you
AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .
(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)
like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.
but then theres teucer.
And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All
Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????
yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....
like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.
like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up
hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭
A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap
#tonia will call him a perfect brother and ppl take it at face value is so.#dude NOBODY in that fuckimg family is in the place to say jack shit abt whats healthy familial dynamics n whats not#now like. do i know that theyll most likely never Truly let ajax experience teucers righteous rage at the betrayal#and instead brush it off where hes like youre still my brother i love u#Yes. unfortunately. but god he doesnt fucking deserve any of that like he SHOULD lose teucer forever#teucer should go full scorched earth no contact the entire family like its r/relationship_advice addressing mild drama#and theyd all deserve it. even as i understand Why they did this.and sympathize with it .#this is why he and the narwhal deserve each other btw hes just kimda fucking terrible sometimes#yes i had to make this about them too#genshin#rambles#childeposting
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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.
Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks
Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.
And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.
So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.
He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.
Caelus doesn't have any of that.
He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.
And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.
So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-
("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")
-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.
Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.
(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)
((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."
And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.
And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.
The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))
#caelus#sampo koski#hsr caelus#hsr sampo#sampo & caelus#honkai star rail#hsr#my fics#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu#me today: ANGST#honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though#it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF#and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo#I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone#her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio#but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0#because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge#and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people#and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere#Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros#and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend#he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk#listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh#it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha#because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing#but you can hear it#the heartbreak
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1812: A sailor takes a routine trip to London, unaware that this would be the last time he'd ever see Flanders. Many lasts were soon to follow.
1861: A boy proudly joins on with the Royal Navy, signing his new name for the very first time. This is a first of many ill-advised decisions.
I can lie and say that the last ES has me thinking about what my characters looked like back on the surface, but it's actually because of a WIP sent to me by an artist I will not name.
#my art#ockham#roberts/nite#i always forget that roberts was 13 when he had that whole ship ordeal#or rather i forgot what kids actually look like#and now i feel absolutely terrible about it#he should be skipping down the street with a minecraft backpack#not experiencing The Horrors#and i've decided that surface!ockham probably used he/him#the same one probably still does so but he's in absolutely no state at the moment to communicate his preferences#irrespective of the parabolan reflection#who's got a 'yes' situation going on#but has bigger things to worry about than people's chosen form of address#unnamed artist you know who you are#and if you’re reading this I’m still incredibly unwell about your [redacted] drawing#ockham ref#roberts
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#it's apparently been sitting finished for a week now#which probably means it's time to post it#mdzs#mdzs fanart#wei wuxian#wei ying#wwx#mxy!wwx#I am still having my fun with trying to draw them as differently as possible#and yes I ended up going with clothing from the donghua#except for the colors of yllz's. I enjoy the design but not the colors there#The idea of black outer robe with blood red underneath does something to me#there's some symbolism in it. I felt it when drawing. I felt it xD#also I am of the opinion that yllz era wwx is skeletally thin#But! he also hides it with some good clothing choices so nobody really notices#except for those who care to look#but I am also sure that mxy's body is in just as awful a state by the time of his death#have you seen what the boy got fed?! it's awful. terrible. it's not gonna let him look healthy afterwards#I headcanon that wwx doesn't notice it because he's so used to what his body was like in the end that it doesn't really register for him#but Lan Zhan sees it and is going to fix with regular meals from now on!#anyway!#my art
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Kakashi: *shows countless times in canon he cares about his students and wants to train them, but a lot of that training is outright skipped for ‘more interesting storyline’
Weirdo’s: nah, Kakashi didn’t teach any of his student’s anything and didn’t care about them at all.
#like god DAMN#Y’all can’t handle an imperfect teach can you?#you can’t handle a character who makes mistakes but genuinly tried his hest#who was thrown into the job even though he did not ask for it#and STILL did his best#‘he doesn’t care about sakura’#WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE PROTECT HER AND CONTINUE TO SAVE HER IN ALMOST EVERY FIGHT IF HE DIDN’T CARE#‘he didn’t teach sakura anything’ yes the FUCK he did#he taught her chakra control which she obv excelled at#and a jonin level technique that allowed her to avoid being knocked out in the konoha crunch#and allowed her to wake Naruto up as well#‘he only ever tried to push his views on Sasuke’#no he didn’t#he only told Sasuke to stop seeking revenge when sasuke turned chidori#a move kakashi taught him to face a shinobi with an impenatable defence that WANTED TO KILL PEOPLE#there is a whole year before that where he knows Sasuke’s goal and never once tells him not to seek revenge#and him not being able to connect with Sasuke doesn’t mean his intentions were not genuine#sometimes people simply don’t understand each others trauamas and struggles#even when they desperatly want to#‘he was terrible to naruto’ fucking WHERE#He chose a specific sensei to teach Naruto chakra control#recogbizing it as Naruto’s weakness#and chose a dude who was a jonin specificlly because of his teaching capabilities#as for the fucking time skip#it’s made vary obviouse even before the team splits that Kakashi and all the other Jonin are on missions constantly#that’s the whole reason Shikamaru and a bunch of genin were sent after sasuke#instead of you know#FUCKING JONIN#None of the jonin were available#they were all on missions
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“Of course you have an Other Brother,” he says, waving off her denial as he opens some nearby cabinets. “Who else would I be if I wasn’t?”
Small WIP sketch of the Other Brother from IDKSomethingClever99’s fic “Mari in the Pink Palace”!!! OMORI and Coraline are my two biggest interests ever so this fic was like winning the lottery for me. Not to mention how good it is… please go read it ragh
#omori#omori au#omori sunny#coraline#this fic cured my artblock and writing block partially too is there anything it can’t do#Idksomethingclever99 what are you PUTTING in this thing it’s like a drug in the best way possible#Anyway this is a really lazy and terrible other brother design… I had so many other ideas for his outfit#I had wanted to keep the bug motifs the other mother has in her outfit as well as referencing the recital#Cause. You know#mari’s perfect world#Where he gets good at the violin lmao…#But I got lazy so here was a very simplified design I made#Fingers yearned for rest couldn’t draw complicated ideas I had…#Anyways anyways love this fic#So much#god#i fucking love how mewo is portrayed too#She’s like a weary mother trying to give some tough love to her kids landkrk#She’s such an asshole but I say that affectionately#Not to mention the fact that she didn’t info dump like the cat did in coralline to mari because she was more focused on getting her home-#-and safe from the beldam than actually telling her what he was doing… christttt#And yes I will still call him the beldam#Them??? Idk djdjdjej#I also love how all the other friends are gahhhh… I can’t WAIT to see their other forms when mari’s getting the eyes#Fun fact this drawing was originally meant to be a redraw of that one scene with the cocobugs#Since it’s super pretty and I wanted to draw it#But it’s not in the fic yet (next chapter I think?) and the author takes a lot of creative liberties which I LOVE so I wanna read the scene#First before attempting to draw it#But I really hope they lean into the uncanniness of Sunny of all people surrounding himself with bug imagery#Since that goes against what mari knows about him a LOT and will further cement that something is NOT RIGHT with this guy
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