#like yeah ik they are actually 6 months apart

[pressedstars-andflowers]

for some reason, the months April and October are opposites???

[secretagentsociety]

adoption centre

I was bored and couldn't help but think thoughts and such thoughts deserve to be written and forever recorded for years to come in tumblr history,spelling and grammar mistakes will be made

TW : yandere shenanigans

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Welcome!Welcome!Are you a chronically lonely person who wished nothing more than for a person to love you unconditionally and even kill for you?,well you're in luck!because step inside the yanyan adoption centre! what's this?you say,well this adoption centre is not just a run of the mil adoption centre for cute animals say the secret password YOU could adopt a yandere ranging from cat boys to homicidal murderer to super villains :D!!!!

I introduce to you our top yanderes ready for the picking! but first I must warn you this whole place is rigged with hidden cameras some for your safety and some we don't even know about! :D go ahead wave at any random place you might waved straight into Dave's hidden camera

oh! but ofcourse I must tell you about the ranking system,it is divided from 1 - 10, for 1-5 it is basically stalking,killing for you,hacking,restricting your moves,little bits and bobs of kidnapping,some hidden cameras here and there you don't even know about but nothing TOO extreme

Oh?you wanna know about the 6 and up? Woooaaah lookie here we got a little fighter don't we? ;) well for the 6 and up the best way is to show,now if you may,please come with me to some of the cells of our rank 6

Yandere beastmen who'd love nothing more than to cuddle you,to death! :D now this one is a rescue,plucked straight from the street,oh?is that ethical? Oh darling darling ofcourse it is! plus we found him abandoned waiting for his owner to came back,they never did rightfully so this one's crazy in the head,but we offer him a better place now he get warm food and a potential 'mate'? Was it he called them

huh?what did he do?well let me tell you this,apart from accounted 8 case of massacre he's a bit delusional you see,make sure not to let him see you or else you'd have no choice but to adopt him,it took us couple of months to finally get him to stop imprinting on his now we found out dead owner,ik!crazy right?!how he did it even I don't know

but! Moving on

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For our rank 7 we have

Yandere assassin !yes our choices varies for each and individual person,it depends on how MUCH you could actually handle,oh but this one is the more tame one of the rank sevens,trust me ya don't wanna meet Dave,that bastard somehow manage to did the impossible,huh?what rank Dave is?,well.... it's complicated my deary

Now why don't I tell you more about this assasin?,his name is kira,yes like the anime,poor dude,no wonder he become so...twisted.

now then say that you did decide to take him home, he's a sadist,would love nothing more than to have you begging for him to stop,in more ways than one, he'd also be the type to be very very very restrictive,so unless necessary you won't be able to go out very much,even standing on the porch will put him on the edge of his nerve,he also needs alot of recurrence and is very very bipolar,he ranks seven because he impose as a danger to others and his darling, he's also friends with Dave can you believe that?

Oh that and also because he have like a shit ton of murder charges,we won't be counting it but just so you know

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For the eight place we have

Yandere mage he would be very hard to deal with,not only that he have incredible amount of mana which in turn is energy so wink wink nudge nude ;) funny story actually he almost make a race of merfolk gone extinct because he deemed that if the merfolk were to 'charm' his future darling it'll be a hastle

Yeah....the remaining survivor had to took an unbreakable oath to never sing again yeah Dave was there to help honestly if not for him telling us this story we wouldn't even know it!crazy that guy I swear to devine

now mage isn't very sadistic but his form of 'punishment' is more pain than pleasure compared to his 'rewards' so if you ever decide to pick him,be wise :D

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Ninth place is

Yandere dragon well well if you like a possesive dragon that will absolute kill for you and some size kink wink wink nudge nudge then I recommend having yourself a yandere dragon, he's very cuddly, don't let his scary and huge built frighten ya,as long as you stay loyal to him I promise you no harm will be done,now what makes him a rank nine is that dragons have mystical powers

they could do some daaarrk shit if prompted,oh but isn't having the fate of many many many pewny humans in your hand so exciting?! just one,and I meant it ONE single sad tears from you and oh boy, it's gonna be catastrophy

he actually turned himself in,he said Dave told him about this place I guess giving Dave a little bit of freedom has it's own perks

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now then follow me to our rank 10 candid- huh? Oh!I see you've found Dave!

well I'll be leaving you alone then,good luck~

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and just like that the host you've been following disappeared,in a panic state you subconsciously ran towards the host yelling no! "Geez darling,I didn't know you hate me this much" he whispered besides your ears blowing hot breath on it

whipping your head back you're startled by how close he was,one. Just one wrong move and your lips will touch,your eyes trailed up his face taking inch his features,until they stopped on his eyes,bright ruby eyes,he smiled a cheeky grin a glint of mischievous and....something... In his eyes caused your breath to hitch

he let's out a giggle "you're a cute one,dolly" he said taking a step closer to you,instinctively you took a step back

strut.

Strut.

Strut.

thump!

Your back finally hit a wall,just where did the wall came from?you looked back to make sure it really was a wall,sure enough it was

"eyes on me dolly" you heard someone whispered,a low husky voice rang through your ears,you couldn't help but obey "that's a good doll" he said putting his hand besides you on the wall fully caging you in

"god I've been waiting for this" he said letting out a sinister smile

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Case file :

log : 1 : encrypt : archive : error

Dave : rank 10

Have an obsession on subject named y/n,subject of effection(s.o.e) had escaped and Dave had been detained in the facilities top security prison

log : 2 : encrypt : archive

dave : rank 11

Somehow his powers manifested into something more sinister,more ..... Powerful persay,we are forced to create a new category for him,current protocol evacuate immediately

Log : 5 : encrypt : archive

Dave : rank 11

being away from s.o.e have made him passive for a while,it has been one week no new movements is caught,he seems to be in a depressive state of things,he also mumbled,scratched and carved a certain phrase "doll" I believe it is the nick name of his s.o.e,we have made the decisions to fully induce selective amnesia on s.o.e, will update on any news

log : 12 : encrypt : archive

what the fuck is happening?!,all of the previous logs has been deleted?!and some distorted beyond understanding!,all of it!months of logging months of research's gone to waste!god if I find who caused this!urrrhggg!! Their dead!you hear me! Error error error

Log 13 : encrypt : archive

Dave : -------

error help error error error error error error error error error error distorted error error error powers error error error what error error seems error error subject error error error we error error die!

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Last archived log 23-error error error error

"found you my dolly~"

[oldmemoria]

caught up with cringetober because I literally forgot to do it, individuals and explanations under cut

Day 1: Heterochromia I’ve come to the revaluation that my sona is already cringe as hell considering not only can his entire body change color but he also has differently colored eyes as a staple of his design. They’re usually yellow and blue but this time I color picked the blue from the trans flag and the mint from the Vincian flag for this color palette, it turned out really pretty :)

Day 2: Self Insert Now she isn’t my self insert anymore, but back in the day when I was at “peak cringe” she definitely was. This is my warriors OC Icypelt and I have a post going over part of her story on my profile somewhere. She’s been through a lot and I think her modern design is very pretty :)

Day 3: Unnecessarily complex fit/design Spider scene is kinda infamous in my brain for having wayyy too much detail but I love them and I think this might be my favorite one out of this batch, super cute, the pose is really cute and the colors are nice and fits her really well :D

day 4: Angel x Devil inevitable MCR reference ik, Helena and Revenge, love them dearly. Poor revenge man this one is cute and looks like a sticker!!

Day 6 (I skipped day 5 because I didn’t want to open up ms paint today): neko i kinda hate this one but cat Gerard yay

Day 7: Pinterest base at first I wanted to draw hobie in place of Gwen but I remembered that I haven’t really drawn Mikey with her even though they’re supposed to be friends so I drew her instead. Idk. The height difference is not accurate because of that but Jumping Spider is small because he’s based on a jumping spider and those are tiny who would have thought

Day 8: tumblr sexyman i have never played undertale a day in my life i just know a lot of people wanted to jump sans’ bones

day 9: Crossover ship/rarepair OH BOY THIS ONE GOES KIND OF HARD AND IM EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY KIND OF WORK FOR EACH OTHER UM MIGUEL OHARA X CLOTTED CREAM COOKIE IM INSANE OMG-

day 10: fursona i already have a fursona I already drew and yes I colorpicked from the lesbian flag how could you tell /j

Day 11: Yandere LYLA is technically canonically a yandere because spoiler alert she tried to kill Miguel’s fiancé via overheating her in the shower (essentially literally boiling her like a lobster) because she was “in love” with him (she said if she did have autonomy and had feelings the would be in love with him but she doesn’t but idk who knows I don’t).

day 12: niche interest ik MCR isn’t exactly “niche” but the black parades story in particular has always caught my interest and I have my own interpretation of it and a whole kind of story I’m still developing and character arcs and headcanons and interactions and yeah you get it, death in particular has evolved into god knows an OC on his own I just keep him attached to MCR because… it makes more sense that way, ig-

day 13: creepypasta does this count- whatever grimdark is just the same thing as a creepypasta- I’m not really in the MLP fandom anymore but it was my first ever “fandom” I was actually apart of. My first hyperfixation if you will. I wasn’t in the grimdark part of the fandom because I was too young for it but I was actually watching the izzzyzzz grimdark video and I was like “oh” and drew a rainbow factory Rainbowdash. Honestly I should draw ponies more they’re fun to draw

Day 14: candygore (?) im not good at drawing candygore and since I was rushing this o didn’t do it as well as I thought I can, but it still turned out pretty cool

Day 15: song lyrics aaaa inevitable hesitant alien drawing this one turned out so cute!! The colors and the sparkle eek so cute aaa action cat lyrics I’m breaking down right in front of you I’m sorry

planning on doing the rest of the month now, maybe not exactly on time since I’m still in school but I’ll try to get 31 drawings out by Halloween. Love the idea of cringetober because I just love all things cringe. Ack this is so good

[scientistofdeduction]

Ok, I live tweeted a rewatch of Study in Pink

And I had a lot of thoughts about it, but main take away was how much I found myself genuinely enjoying it for the first time in years without getting depressed or bitter.

Like a “it is what it is and I’m still going to have fun” attitude.

Under the cut I’ve compiled all my tweets into a single little weird post. Enjoy if you read it.

Alright

So it’s Sherlock rewatch day

For the anniversary of SiP.

I’ve had so much distance on this show since it ended. I wouldn’t say I never rewatch it but I certainly put it down a few months after with the intention of never getting back into it in the same way.

I still know every line of this episode

Probably of the entire first season

It’s not bad, not this first season, but there’s still glaring issues to me that jump out considering the changes they made from the Pilot to the aired SiP episode.

Let’s be honest, Greg Lestrade is the best bit of this whole damn show.

“How do people keep themselves safe?”

“Well, don’t commit suicide.”

Rupert Graves’ deadpan delivery got me on that one this time.

Listen, Lestrade is the one thing I won’t pick apart.

Give points to the editing in this show.

Pretty op tier throughout

Cut from John “who was the first” to the zipper body bag reveal of Sherlock, upside down

Everything about that is really good.

Try not to think “wasted potential” every 10 minutes of this challenge 😂

I Will forever headcanon Sherlock as ace/gay and unbothered by people knowing or finding out. He formally came out to Mrs Hudson and because he loves her, cares not for her parading his business.

Hudson: establishes John is NOT Sherlock’s boyfriend

Immediately relate that she’s ok with it all but in a way she thinks is subtle

Spend the rest of the episode “outing” Sherlock to John

“Please date my awkward son, Mr Army Man, he’s lonely”.

Season 1-2 Hudson is the other greatest character in this show let’s be honest

So many possibilities set up in such a short screen time.

I think contrary to previous belief that actually Sherlock being a “villain” for lack of a better word here is set up pretty well in ep 1 and that thread is continued well in ep 6, but I think they dropped the ball in between.

“Stay away from Sherlock Holmes” is appealing—they could’ve set him up better to be misunderstood by all except those closest to him, and have Holmes not pretend to be anything he isn’t

But I think the whole weird sociopath thing really funked with that thread.

God there’s about to be a million and one fix it fics in my head after this isn’t there?

(Edited: I will definitely post a link if I start doing BBC fic again)

Mark Gatiss as Mycroft is also great casting I just god really loathe the writing of this Mycroft

“Yada Yada bully Mycroft we know, Ro”

It could’ve been a goofy joke! Between brothers! Sherlock reluctantly “Yeah thanks for checking out my new roommate bro but we’re chill” Mycroft laughs it off

No real creepy older brother, he doesn’t spy on them after that, drops the whole Bond villain act etc

This is in fact one of my least favorite Watson’s on screen

(Fanon John doesn’t count he’s cool and soft)

The characters play off each other and it’s silly goofy

Still just a fun watch

Ik I complain alot but it’s nice to have this goofy little first season

This show also could’ve been a deep little meditation on mental health but that and the whole “Sherlock does drugs” bit were missed potential

Phil Davis plays such a creepy Jefferson Hope/cabbie killer

I like the moments too where he and Sherlock have little calmer funny human moments

What gets me is that Holmes is very close to canon age in this (BC was like 34) but damn trying to picture a 5 or maybe 8 year younger man playing this but versus the cabbie over the pills just imagine.

The confrontation with Hope is super well written and still fanfic fodder for days

Hope playing up on this Holmes’s need to be right, his addiction to solving puzzles for stimulation

At the time his inability to look beyond himself for solutions

—this Holmes was willing to risk death for a stupid brain game (he was wrong) (he was so self centered in that moment he believed he was right despite it being very easy to see he was wrong)

Missed beat on the mental health note— assume a Sherlock who back of his head realizes he’s being goaded into taking the wrong one and back of his mind /doesn’t/ care. Instead of asking Hope if he’s right he just chucks the thing away, frustrated because the moment is gone.

“Are you alright”

“Yes of course I’m alright”

“You have just killed a man”

“That’s true..

… but he wasn’t a very nice man”

This departure from the pilot script right here set up the toxic relationship between these two and every time I mourn the loss.

Instead of John getting real and trusting Sherlock, “I saw men die in the war good men” and admitting his ruined sleep because of it. Instead of “I’ll sleep fine tonight,” because Sherlock gave him a war worth fighting for

We get a joke, a little laugh

And this only continues.

Anyways I always get a little laugh at the wonky Mycroft dialogue that’s there just to end the episode with “Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson” as the final words

This show has always been goofy and it makes it fun to revisit.

Happy 13th, Sherlock.

[shoesofthefishermanswife]

kade!!!! more sporelings hcs pls 🙏

hello nia!!

this is definitely not what you asked but i’m just going to use this as an excuse to just talk about their aging bc it's really interesting to me as it’s not like a consistent ratio of sporelings weeks to human years ?? plus the whole accelerated timeline thing makes my child development major brain go brrr (ik, a reveal that has surprised literally no one)

anyways i might go off for a while so I'll drop this :)

how fast are they developing?

okay so I've decided that 1 week real-time is roughly 6 months developmentally. I pulled this figure from the polaroid labeled 2 weeks wherein hazel and rose take their first steps, an event happens on average around 12 months.

when applied loosely, this works to map pictures on the fridges to the developmental ages they are in each picture.

(although i would argue they seem a little younger than 2 1/2 here, but drawing kids' ages accurately is hard so i'll let it slide)

however, this obviously falls apart when as we approach 25 weeks and the girls are clearly supposed to be older than 12.5

^^^^ not 12-year-olds

so what happened?

i've decided after like 15 weeks it picks up and now we're at like 1 week = 1 year, making the girls roughly 18 and 21 there. (also i've head-canoned thorn as 3 human years older bc she looks around 4 when the twins are 1). an accelerating rate of development probably means sad things for their lifespans but shhh

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what does this mean for their ability to learn things?

literally nothing bc this is fictional and the writers certainly didn't think about it, but i am so now you have to too. :)

okay so the two major things that jump out to me is language acquisition and gross motor skills.

language acquisition:

okay without giving an entire lecture on language and brain development, what's important to know is that in a typical adult, language is lateralized. this means that the areas in our brain that process language are mostly found in the left hemispheric cortex. but in a kid, they are distributed more evenly, and this lateralization occurs in late adolescence. additionally, your brain is constantly going through synaptic pruning, trying to strengthen the pathways you use while getting rid of the ones you don't. so, while babies can hear the difference between all phonemes in any language, you quickly lose the ability to differentiate between the ones you don't.

essentially, it is impossible to learn to speak a language perfectly if you don't start learning it at a young age, and it may be impossible to learn to speak any language at all if you aren't exposed as a child. (this is lenneberg's critical period theory)

tldr: your brain structure moves away from language learning with age

so, the question that haunts me at night is: even if they are damn smart kids, they're not picking up an entire language in the 20 or so weeks they have before their brain structure is too different. (even though they aren't losing too much to synaptic pruning bc they would be actively using it). how the fuck do they know how to talk?

gross motor skills:

ever noticed your kiddo could roll over or take a few steps one day and couldn't the next? this is because even typical babies grow too fast for themselves to keep up with- they have to take a sec to adjust to their new bodies.

how would the sporelings, who are actually growing like inches per day, ever keep up enough that they could master walking and running at such a young age?

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yeah anyways this is Not what you asked for but these are thoughts that i have. i will do a list of cute little things when i'm in the right mindset for that

[violetwolfraven]

Marked For You

((Am I writing a post-strike javid soulmates AU with several background ships? Possibly! No one asked for this but y’all can’t stop me.))

...

Davey liked to think that being among the Newsies, he was bolder than before. He didn’t scare as easily and he wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he believed in or be himself unapologetically.

After all, that was what all the Newsies were; themselves. They didn’t care what each other thought, not that any of them ever seemed to seriously judge the others. Each Newsie was openly himself or herself, plain and simple.

This kind of unjudging openness that Davey knew and loved didn’t mean he wasn’t shocked as hell when he and some of the fellas were talking, like they did practically every day, and the conversation turned to soulmates and soulmarks.

Soulmarks were a stripe of color on the inside of your wrist, said to be the color that represented who your soulmate was on a fundamental level. Their soul-color.

Davey’s soulmark was a bright, clear blue, like the sky on a clear summer day.

To be fair, the person Davey had been before meeting the Newsies probably would have completely freaked out at what the fellas were talking about. Davey managed to only be moderately surprised and kind of confused.

Because Race was talking about how his soulmark was dark red, the same color as Spot’s favorite shirt, and it just represented him so well and—

“Hold up,” Davey interrupted, “Your soulmate is Spot Conlon?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Are... are you sure?”

“Of course. Um... it’s not a new thing. We’s both known for months.”

All the fellas had guarded looks on their faces. Like they didn’t known how Davey was going to react and it scared them.

Davey had, of course, heard of people having same-sex soulmates. Most people seemed to regard it as wrong for some reason, but...

No one chose their soulmates. All scientists seemed to agree on that.

So why should something you had no control over be regarded as wrong, especially when soulmates were the kind of love that made each other happy?

Now that Davey was thinking about it, blue wasn’t a common color documented to represent a girl.

The idea of his soulmate being a boy didn’t freak him out as much as it probably should.

“I didn’t think the King of Brooklyn was the lovin’ type.”

Everyone visibly relaxed.

“You’d be surprised,” Race said with an uncharacteristically soft smile, “He kinda freaked out on me at first, but we talked it over after he got some time to process, we’s been together nearly a year now, and... he’s good to me.”

“He better be,” Romeo said, “Or Manhattan’d go to war.”

Albert snorted, “Half the Newsies of New York would. Racer, ya got a shit ton of friends.”

“Heh. True. There might actually be enough of ya to stand a chance against Brooklyn.”

“Bold of ya to assume half the Brooklyn boys wouldn’t be on your side,” Jojo pointed out.

Davey had to admit, he couldn’t think of a single Newsie who wouldn’t beat up someone stupid enough to break Race’s heart.

Ike shrugged, “Hotshot’d probably side with Spot. Sorry, Race. Oh! Davey, Hotshot’s mine, by the way.”

Ike showed his red soulmark, a brighter scarlet than Race’s. Hell, the thing was so bright, it practically glowed in the late afternoon sun.

Seeing Mike’s, which was electric blue, Davey wondered how he’d ever had trouble telling the twins apart.

Mike noticed him looking and grinned, throwing an arm around Jojo, who blushed a little. His soulmark was an almost-golden shade of yellow that Davey had to admit suited Mike well.

Of course, it did make him curious, how he’d always heard of people with same-sex soulmates as a rarity, an anomaly that barely ever happened.

And here was 6 that he knew personally. Probably more, now that he was thinking about it, looking back on the way certain pairs of his friends acted.

“How common is it?” he asked finally, “I always heard of same-sex soulmates as rare, but—“

Blink snorted, “It ain’t. Not as much as they’d have ya believe, anyhow.”

His fingers brushed over a mint green soulmark gently.

“Yeah, mine’s Finch,” Albert said, displaying a mark the color of sage.

Romeo grinned, showing his, which was an indigo halfway between blue and purple, “Take a guess.”

Looking back on casual touches that weren’t as hidden as they probably should be, for safety reasons, Davey realized that he was an idiot for not having realized it sooner.

“Specs?”

“Bingo! Ya got in in one!”

“And Blink... I’m guessin’... Mush?”

Blink shrugged sheepishly.

Davey really felt like an idiot for not fully registering until right now how defensive, tough Kid Blink was soft and gentle with Mush in a way he wasn’t with anyone—not even the littles.

“What about you?” Romeo asked, “Ya know who yours is, yet?”

Davey shrugged helplessly, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Well, show us the mark!” Ike urged, “We can’t guess if we don’t see the color!”

The others voiced their agreement until Davey extended his forearm towards them.

Honestly, his was probably the brightest and most defined of any of them, besides Ike’s.

Everyone went silent, and Davey knew his friends well enough to know that they weren’t quiet simply because they were thinking.

They knew something he didn’t.

“What?” he finally asked after a good 20 seconds.

“Ya really don’t see it?” Mike asked.

“I don’t think he does,” Albert admitted, stealing Race’s cigar.

Race stole the cigar back, “Tragic.”

“What do you all see that I don’t?”

“Ya know, it took me a while to figure out mine,” Jojo admitted, “I was raised to think lovin’ a boy would land ya in hell. But I still knew within a couple weeks, if ya don’t count how long it took me to accept it. Honestly, Davey, you’s known him for months. How haven’t ya realized yet?”

“You mean it’s one of the Newsies?”

Everyone groaned.

“Davey, who’s the one person who pops into your head when you think ‘bout love?” Romeo asked, “Just off the top of your head?”

Davey didn’t want to admit who his first thought was.

“I don’t know,” he lied, “In my defense, I didn’t even consider it bein’ a boy before today.”

“When ya find your soulmate, you know,” Blink said firmly, “It’s undeniable. Ya don’t know how ya know, but ya do. If you’s felt that and seen that color and still don’t know who it is, you’s the biggest dumbass in New York.”

Romeo swatted in Blink’s direction, “Lighten up, Blink. It’s cute in a frustratin’ kind of way.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell him,” Ike said mischeviously, “This is better’n watchin’ Race pine over Spot and yet not tell him that the light blue on his wrist is him.”

Race rolled his eyes, “Like you tellin’ Hotshot right outta the gate worked. He avoided ya for 6 months after findin’ out that stupid purple mark was you.”

“It ain’t that purple, Racer. It’s mostly blue.”

“Still don’t go with Brooklyn’s red shirts all that well.”

Davey ignored the others breaking up the budding argument in favor of trying to think. One face did pop into his mind whenever he thought about love, but there was no way he was that lucky.

“Think, Davey,” Jojo urged as soon as the group got back on track.

“Yeah,” Race agreed, “Who’s the one person with a soul like the sky?”

Davey really didn’t want to admit it, but he knew.

The sky was always there when you looked up to see it as Jack Kelly was always there for his friends when they needed him.

“Jack,” he whispered, and the others grinned.

“So, what are ya waitin’ for?” Mike asked, “Go get the boy!”

“I can’t,” Davey protested, “He might be my soulmate, but there’s no way I’m his! He’s courted Sarah and Katherine!”

“That ain’t how it works, Davey,” Blink said, “Yeah, Jack courted Katherine and Sarah, but do ya really think that periwinkle stripe on Kath’s wrist is for him? Or the pinkish-red on Sarah’s, huh? That’s real Jack-like, is it?”

“Just cause Sarah or Kath ain’t Jack’s soulmate doesn’t mean his is a boy,” Davey pointed out, “Jack doesn’t even like boys!”

Albert rolled his eyes, “Ya really think that?”

“I know he don’t.”

“Davey, let me tell ya somethin’,” Ike said, “Just cause Jack likes girls don’t mean he doesn’t like boys. It ain’t gotta be one or the other.”

“Ya think I only flirt with one?” Romeo asked.

Now that Davey was thinking about it, Romeo and Race pretty much flirted with everyone.

Race laughed, “I don’t think we’s ever told him that Jack and Spot was a thing, did we?”

“They what now?”

“It didn’t last long,” Romeo laughed, “Barely a week, and I thinks it was just angrily makin’ out, but it happened.”

“That was a weird week,” Jojo agreed.

“He had a crush on Specs a few years ago,” Ike added, “That was ‘fore Romeo came along, of course.”

Mike started laughing even harder than he already was, making Jojo smile all sappy at him, “I remember that!”

Davey tried to process this new information.

“Point is,” Blink said, “Jack likes girls and boys. And we’s known him a lot longer than you.”

“The color on his wrist definitely ain’t for Kath or Sarah,” Race summed up.

“What... what is it?”

Race patted his knee, “For that answer, you’ll have to ask Jackie Boy, himself.”

“Ask me what?”

The other boys exchanged delighted glances as Jack walked in, a bit of paint on his cheek from spending some time at Medda’s theatre.

“Look at the time,” Jojo said, ignoring the fact that he did not have a watch, “I think we’d best be gettin’ to bed.”

Mike raised an eyebrow suggestively, making Jojo swat his arm in exasperation, but the two of them left in the same direction, hand in hand.

“Just remembered,” Race said, popping to his feet, “I told Spot I’d spend the night in Brooklyn. Gotta go if I wanna not be walkin’ in the dark.”

“Mind if I come with?” Ike asked.

“The more the merrier! I’m sure Hotshot’ll be happy to see ya.”

“Make good choices,” Jack said pointedly, but he didn’t stop them, indicating that those pairings really had been going on for a while.

God, how many times had Ike or Race or both blatantly said they were going to Brooklyn when they left a card game or hangout? How was Davey just noticing this now?

Blink, Albert, and Romeo quickly made up bullshit excuses to leave.

Davey didn’t miss how Romeo mouthed a quick ‘good luck’ to him as he went out the door.

Unfortunately, neither did Jack.

“So, what’s that about?” he asked, seeming more amused than suspicious or anything.

“We was just talkin’ about something,” Davey said, feeling strangely awkward.

“What kind of somethin’?”

“Um... soulmates. That kind of thing.”

“Oh.”

The air between them was charged suddenly.

“What about ‘em?” Jack asked, sitting down next to Davey.

“Um...” Davey took a deep breath, “About how they think they know who mine is.”

Jack didn’t look him in the eye, and his response was almost too quiet to hear.

“Who?”

For some reason, Davey couldn’t outright just say it.

He turned his wrist so that Jack could see his mark, bright, vibrant blue.

He thought maybe something like recognition flashed through the other boy’s eyes.

“It’s someone who’s always there when the people he loves need him,” Davey said softly, “You know how you can always look up and see the sky if ya need to? He’s like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s one of the things I like most about him.”

“What if he wasn’t?” Jack muttered, “What if there was a day the people he loved needed to see the sky more than ever and it wasn’t there?”

Davey remembered the terror after the first day of the strike. Crutchie was arrested, everyone was hurt, and few of the fellas were still MIA. Davey only had a few bruises, so he and a couple others had had to go find them.

Davey remembered finding Elmer unconscious in an alley. He remembered Buttons’s worry when he managed to wake him up and drag him back to the Lodging House, how panicked he’d obviously been, and now was wondering if those two had something going on.

That day, everyone had needed Jack, and he wasn’t there. That was true. They’d had to rely on Davey and Race and whoever else was unhurt enough to help them, then later, Katherine, when she showed up and nobody asked how she got that much medical supplies.

But every other day since then that Davey had been with the Newsies, Jack had been there, tirelessly comforting his friends after bad dreams, patching up scraped knees, making sure everybody had food in their stomachs and a roof over their heads. And he didn’t always have enough time to take care of everyone, but he sure did his damn best.

Davey reached over and intertwined Jack’s fingers with his own.

To his relief, the other boy squeezed back, just a little.

“Maybe he needs to take care of himself, too, once in a while,” he said, “Maybe everyone survived without the sky for a little bit, so there was no harm done. And Jackie... that was months ago. It doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been there every day since long before the strike and every day since then.”

Jack was silent for a second before he exhaled sharply and shoved his arm in Davey’s direction.

The strip of color on his wrist was clear blue. It was the sky on ice cold clear winter days. It was the cover of a book with characters you could relate to. It was a shade of paint Davey had seen in Jack’s backdrops many times.

Davey didn’t really know why, but the color was undeniably him.

“Jack...”

Jack looked at him, his eyes as soft as the tone in Davey’s voice.

“I knew since day one.”

“Why didn’t ya say anything?”

“I didn’t wanna scare you.”

Davey laughed, “Jack Kelly, if there is one thing you’ve never been to me, it’s scary.”

It was true. Jack had always felt safe, even when Davey was trying to avoid him out of pride.

Unfortunately, safe was the last thing whatever this thing between them was.

“How does it work?”

“What?”

“How does it work?” Davey repeated, “How do they do it? Race and Spot. Mike and Jojo. Blink and Mush. All the other pairs.”

“They be careful,” Jack answered, “If needed, the rest of us try and help cover for ‘em.”

“Can you be careful?”

A smile formed on Jack’s lips, “I know you can... how do ya think I stayed out of the Refuge so long after escapin’?”

Davey rolled his eyes. Jack still liked to bring up his grand escape.

“Hey, Davey... can I try something?”

Davey’s heart was in his throat. His chest was so tight he could barely breathe.

Still, he nodded.

Blink had said that when you met your soulmate, you knew.

Davey didn’t think he’d known before now. At least, not consciously.

But he definitely knew now, because it felt right. He knew because Jack’s lips against his own was the most natural thing in the world.

He didn’t think he’d ever want to kiss anyone else.

He didn’t know how he hadn’t always known that Jack was his soulmate.

Because the color on his wrist was Jack, and the color in Jack’s was him. They were quite literally made for each other.

[a-walk-in-silence]

Coffee To Go

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary: There’s a war looming over head, and with 0 new notifications from Steve, you might just be stuck dealing with the situation with a newfound friend.

Warnings: Infinity War, cursing, mentions of wounds (not very descriptive), character death, crying, abandonment

A/N: Welcome to the sequel that I've promised for over a year! I suck, ik, but at least it's here now! Yay!

Previous Part | Masterlist

You were in the middle of your daily morning routine, humming peacefully to yourself as you prepped breakfast, the gentle smell of coffee wafting through the air. This was your usual routine, only ever broken when Steve would somehow manage to sneak his way into your New York apartment once every 3 months. But it had now been 5 months, and you weren't sure if you'd see him again. Something was brewing. It all felt… wrong. Maybe it was the nerves, but it had been around 2 years since the Avengers split, and there wasn't anything world ending in that time. Sure, there had been that thing with Spider-Man and the Vulture in Queens, but overall, it had been really quiet.

You hated when it was quiet.

Call it nerves, but you now always had a fight bag packed, ready for action. Tony had helped you prepare the bag during his free time in between international affairs and being the mentor to a plucky upstart superhero with a knack for ending up in dangerous situations. But, overall, the two of you had managed to make a DoomsDay bag that would put the military to shame. It was ready for anything, with a custom suit that could withstand space built in. You were ready for whatever was coming. Just not for how it would come about.

A yellow ring started to appear in your dining room, drawing your attention away from the berries you had been cutting. Inside the ring formed some kind of portal to another room where you could very clearly see a ruined staircase and a few people standing around. One of them was very obviously Tony, and you could have sworn that one of them was Bruce. But Bruce has been off planet for 3 years. The other two were people you had never known, but you were certain that they had been included in one of Fury's debrief emails that he sent you whenever something went down.

Tony and the taller of the two strangers turned to look at you. Tony looked agitated, like he had just been rubbed the wrong way. But he still forced a smile and beckoned you to join them. "We need that brain of yours, Americana. Apparently that thing we've spent years prepping for? It's happening."

Your blood ran cold as you looked around your apartment. This was definitely not good. Nope. Bucky needed someone to take care of him. And what about Steve?

"Fuck, let me get my bag," you mumbled, rushing away from them. You slung the bag over your shoulder and walked out the front door, knocking on your neighbors door. He opened it, raising and eyebrow at you in curiosity.

"Doomsday?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing a robe, ratty tank top, and faded pj pants. He always wore this in the mornings when he would come over with his 6 year old daughter, bringing groceries that you had given him money for (as well as a little extra for him and his daughter to go out to eat whenever they wanted). He was always helpful, given the fact that she couldn't go out in a world where she was always remembered as Steve Rogers girlfriend, only good for knowing his whereabouts.

Yeah. Like he told you where he was. Ever. He hadn't even responded in the past few months. He was just gone.

"Doomsday. Can you take care of Bucky while I'm gone? I don't know how long I'll be gone or…" you trailed off, unable to say just what you were feeling. That you could not come back. "Just… here's the key to the apartment. Thank you, Bobby. Really. For everything. Tell Penny I said bye, okay?"

He looked solemn as he nodded, taking the apartment keys from your outstretched hand. "I promise."

You gave him a firm nod, complemented by a forced smile. With that, you returned to the apartment, walking into the portal where Tony was bickering with the other two men about Ben and Jerry flavors based off of the Avengers. Tony thought his flavor was great, but clearly they disagreed.

"You know, personally I'm a fan of Chocolate Garcia, no need for a reminder of the people that aren't even around," you said, grabbing the gloves that you and Tony had been making for the past few months before dropping the bag on the ground. "What's the situation?"

"Thanos," Bruce said, speaking up from where he was kind of curled up on the bottom stair, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "He's not a good guy. Really big and purple. He beat the Hulk like it was nobody's business. He's after the stones, and we currently have two of them here, on Earth. He already has two, and he's coming here next."

You looked at Tony. You both knew this was coming. But geez. This was a mess. And neither one of you knew where any of the Avengers were. "Well then, I guess we're going to have to give him the news, Stark."

"The news about what? Your boyfriend being awol?" he snarked before raising an eyebrow. "Or that the Avengers would prefer it if he just didn't?"

"Tell him that the Earth is closed to outsiders, obviously." You gave him a smirk and he laughed in response. "Besides, how fast can he even get here?"

You really need to learn to bite your tongue sometimes. Truly. Because the moment those words left your mouth, everything started to crash outside, followed by screaming and running feet. Everyone ran outside, and you followed, grabbing your bag as you went. Outside, the streets of New York were in pure chaos. People running, crashed cars, knocked over lamp posts. Oh, and a giant doughnut in the sky.

You followed the group, running the other way from the chaos to see two aliens walking down the middle of the street: weird alien Hulk and Squidward from Spongebob. As if reading your mind, Tony spoke up.

"Hey, Squidward! Yeah, sorry, Earth is closed today. Yeah, we're not accepting outsiders at the moment, there's kind of this issue with boy bands breaking up and the world falling apart and we really just don't need this right now." You stifled a laugh as you turned away for a moment, garnering the attention of the lanky weird one.

"She smells of the space stone," he remarks, eyeing you up and down. "An old guardian, perhaps. Clearly she has failed. No less." He looks towards the tall "wizard" as Tony referred to him as. "You have something we require. We ask for you to hand it over."

You rolled your eyes, stepping forward. "Sorry, the wizard isn't in a sharing mood. Thanks for asking, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Silence your pets, holder, and speak for yourself." You glowered at Squidward's response, remaining quiet but not for much longer. So Dumbledore better speak fast.

"You can't have the stone," he said firmly.

Well, all hell broke loose at that point. The wizard got knocked out, Bruce couldn't beef up, the Spider kid showed up, and now you were on a spaceship, having just gotten rid of Squidward and saved the wizard, now known as Doctor Strange. Yep, that's why you forgot the name. Because it was his ACTUAL name and it was such a bad name. You made sure to try and remember it.

You were sitting alone in a corner, staring at the phone that had started ringing the moment you hit space. It had been Steve. You wanted to answer but the cell service died the moment it started ringing. Your heart was hurting, but luckily the nano suit covered your face for the most part. No one could see you falling apart even though you very much were. You hoped he would be safe, but you knew he was an idiot and would run head first into the fight, especially if he didn't know if you were safe or not.

Tony joined you, taking the phone from your hand. "He hasn't been around for several months. Him calling was probably because Bruce took the flip phone Steve gave me and called him. He has his own problems to deal with. Ours is to safely land wherever the hell we're going and to keep the good Doctor from handing over the stone."

You shook your head, trying to contain the laughter you felt bubbling up inside. "We both knew this was coming. I tried to reach out and tell him to prepare or to even come back with the other Avengers so we could face this thing together. And he wouldn't pick up my calls or answer my texts. But I still miss him, Tony. He's my Pepper. Or I'm his Pepper. I don't really know." You looked at your companions as Strange meditated and the Spiderling bounced all around, reenacting the moment he was deemed an Avenger in a silly way. He bounced and bounced and bounced. He reminded you of Bucky on catnip, and the time Bucky bounced so high up that he came crashing down into the coffee maker.

The coffee maker. Crap! You left it on!

Groaning, you leaned further into the wall. Tony raised an eyebrow at you, brown eyes studying your expression to see if he could understand what had you even more upset than Steve ghosting you.

"I left the coffee maker on. And I didn't even get to have coffee. This sucks." You pouted, causing Tony to laugh. Coffee had become your bloodline while the two of you worked hard on developing your suit. And Tony was the exact same. Neither one of you slept, simply staying up and tinkering, planning Doomsday. And now neither of you would have coffee for a very long time.

"Guess you had a late start today, then," he chuckled, watching the other two. "Can't blame you, of course, given the fact that I haven't even slept yet. Ended up working late last night on the kids Iron Spider suit, last minute tinkers. Stayed up all morning until Pepp forced me to go for a jog with her." He rubbed his face, the exhaustion now clearly prevalent. "I don't know how long our trip is going to be but I can't sleep, not with you and the kid on the line. The Doctor is a bit of a prick, maybe we can let him slide, but not you two."

You gave him a half hearted smile before looking back at the Spiderling. "I can watch him, and I know how to wake you up if shit goes down. I'm sure one mention of the Captain's name will wake you up in a fit of blind rage." The two of you laughed before things fell quiet again. "I've got this. And, after this all is over, we'll go back home to Pepp and Bucky and just live out the rest of our lives. You'll get married and I'll just be a miserable old bat waiting for a text back from someone who has more outlaw things to handle. It'll be fine. We'll all be fine."

Glancing back at Tony, you saw him peacefully asleep. You smiled to yourself before returning to watch the scene in front of you. Peter seemed to keep himself thoroughly entertained, and Strange seemed to be going over things in his head. It was peaceful. Well, it would have been peaceful if you weren't hurdling through space on a giant space donut.

A few hours passed until it was very clear that this ship was going to land and you had no clue how to do that. Strange wanted to stay off on his own and Peter was definitely freaking out. So you had to do the only thing you knew how.

"Tony, wake up!"

He jolted up, looking around. He took in his surroundings and what was displayed on the giant screen in front of him and was quick to react. He started barking orders as you, Peter, and Tony all tried to maneuver this flying machine to a safe landing which ended in a near wreck. The screen died as you all collapsed onto the floor, unsure what to do next.

Well, next deemed itself worthy of deciding for itself as three people- well, one person and two aliens- jumped onto the ship from the giant holes created from your shotty landing, aiming weapons and trying to fight you. They didn't look like any of the Thanos goons you had met thus far, but who knew why they were there? All you knew was that they attacked you so you had to get even.

The final shapedown of the fight ended with Peter being held by the supposed captain of this enemy group, the big buff guy being pinned down by Tony, and Strange holding the weird bug chick. And then there was you, your Star Wars-esque gun at the ready to shoot whomever moved first. You had the Spiderling to thank for the design, it has inspired Tony to make it.

"Where is Gamora?" the Captain once again yelled, prompting you to point the weapon at him.

"Yeah, I'll do you one better, who's Gamora?" Tony asked, a giant blaster canon pointed right at the big buff guy.

"Well I'll do you one better," the big buff guy said, trying to lean himself upward, "why is Gamora?"

You slowly blinked before turning to Tony. "Jesus christ, please blow up the goon before he says something even more idiotic."

"Do it!" the buff guy challenged, laughing maniacally. "I can take it!"

"No he can't!" yelled the bug chick. She fought to free herself from being held, so you turned your weapon on her to keep her from trying to move.

Tony lowered his helmet, looking the captain in the face. "Look, we don't know any Gamora. We hijacked this spaceship when Squidward stole our wizard friend because he has a shiny stone that some Thanos character wants."

The captain tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Wait so you're not Thanos' goons?"

You were about to speak but Peter piped up, his helmet disappearing. "We're the Avengers, man."

"From Terra? Hey, Quill! These are your people! These weak, pathetic flesh bags are indeed your kin!" The buff guy cackled as you pointed your blaster at him, eyes never leaving the Captain.

From behind you, you heard Tony speak up. "Again, I have the blaster pointed at you and can shoot you at any time."

"Terra? You're from Earth?" You looked at Quill in confusion. Yeah, he looked human, but he wasn't anyone you were aware of. And you were sure that there wasn't many Terrans that were running around the galaxy.

"I'm from Missouri," he spat, trying to make it seem as if he wasn't from Earth. Jesus, they were a bunch of idiots. Maybe Gamora had been the common sense of their group. It would certainly explain a lot.

You could hear the eye roll from Tony as he spoke up next. "Yeah, Missouri is on Earth dipshit."

Once everyone had calmed down and managed to talk through everything, they ventured outside to look at the barren red planet. You weren't sure just what had happened here, but you knew it wasn't good. Ancient buildings were decayed, the metal turned red due to the air. And, oddly enough, it was breathable air. Maybe all those sci-fi movies had made it seem like any alien planet would be lethal to humans, but you could definitely breath here. If anything, the air felt a little heavier than it did on Earth.

"What's wrong with your friend?" asked the bug girl, or Mantis as her friends called her. You turned to see her pointing at Strange, who was levitating and twitching erratically as he apparently used the stone to do… well, you weren't sure. It was a time stone, so maybe he was looking in the future?

Tony grabbed his shoulder, lurching him back to the ground. Stephen gasped before looking around. "What happened, doc?" you asked, walking over to the commotion.

"I was using the time stone to see into the future." Ha! You were right! "I saw 14,000,036 different endings of how this fight with Thanos will go."

He went silent, contemplating everything he had seen. You looked around, no one seemed ready to jump up asking questions, so of course you were going to do exactly that.

"Well? How many did we win in?" you asked, cutting the silence off. A few dirty looks were thrown your way, but you ignored them. "Look, if you know how we win, then let us know. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have a cat to get back to, and a friend's wedding to attend. I'm not really in the mood to stick around here and die so if the good doc would kindly share the information he's holding onto, then we can all move on with our regularly scheduled programs."

"Are all Terrans this bitchy?" Drax asked, his face perplexed.

You raised a fist, ready to punch the beefy Guardian when Tony grabbed you, pulling you away. "No fighting, children. Strange, how many endings did we win in?"

"One."

Oh for fucks sake-

"One ending? Out of 14 million, we have to get everything right? I expect answers now, then! I want to know how to win. So what's the game plan?" You tried to walk over to him, but Tony held you back. "How do we win?"

He looked pained as he glanced at Tony over your shoulder. "If I tell you, we lose."

You threw your hands up in the air, frustrated with all of this bs. "Fine, fine! Whatever! Sit there, be silent while we try and get that one ending to save this whole universe. I hope we do it right, otherwise we're all screwed, Strange, and it'll be your fault." You glowered at him before turning to look at Tony and Quill, who were standing off to the side. "What's the plan?"

And so, everyone sat in a giant circle, save Stephen, who knew he couldn't reveal the way to win. The plan was relatively simple, with Stephen helping you to teleport around since the boosters in your suit weren't anywhere near as powerful as Tony's, plus you weren't used to flying in a suit like this. So Steven was there to help you, while also doing his part in restraining Thanos. Both Peter's were supposed to be running major distractions, Mantis was supposed to stay back, and Tony was running big attacks with missiles and weaponry he had worked into his suit.

And, when Thanos finally showed up, you could agree with Bruce's assessment he had given you in New York. Angry, giant, grape man. Definitely someone with his morals all kinds of wrong. His logic was also just… wrong. Even if he got rid of half of the Universes population, the universe would be able to up the population within a hundred years. Resources wouldn't be affected, at all. Not in the long run. Why not just double them? Why kill trillions of people?

Yeah. This guy was an idiot. You definitely needed to take him out before he went after your idiot.

And the battle was… rough. Pleasantries ended when Strange refused to give up the time stone, and a battle started. The mad Titan used the stones to push your group to the limits, tossing everyone around as if they were ragdolls. And when some blue chick joined in… things got even more insane. Supposedly her name was Nebula and her dad was Thanos? Well she clearly wanted him dead, so she was chill in your book. Plus she hit him with some weird spaceship thing and it was, admittedly, very awesome.

And you guys had succeeded! You had him subdued with Mantis using some weird emotion power to keep him subdued. Peter and Tony were removing the glove, and Strange had him bound. You and Quill were each holding a giant leg in place, trying to keep him in place. But then Quill got up in his face.

"Where is Gamora?" he shouted, his fists balled up by his side. "Where is she?"

"Quill! This can wait a minute!" you snapped, trying to keep his leg in place.

"He feels pain, and sadness," Mantis said, her tiny voice carrying through the battlefield. And the wheels in your head were turning. You weren't sure, couldn't be sure, but you had a feeling that Gamora was no longer alive.

Quill looked confused until Nebula spoke up. "He went to Vormir with Gamora, and left with the stone. She… Gamora is dead."

You quickly jumped to your feet, seeing Quill reeling and ready to punch. "Don't, you can punch him later but we are so close. Please."

You reached out to stop him from moving on Thanos, but red fabric wrapped around you, pulling you away. You glanced up at Strange to see that his cloak was gone and he was no longer floating. Rather, it had wrapped around you, pulling you away from Quill. Strange shook his head, giving you a sad look before his cloak returned to him.

And then Quill punched, and punched, and he kept punching. And then he woke up. Tony and Peter were flung away, Strange was slammed into a rock, Mantis was knocked out and Quill and Drax were just gone. Nebula was fighting her father but was quickly subdued, leaving you to stare down the mad Titan.

"Your energies remind me of the space stone," he commented, watching you with interest. "It's ingrained in your DNA. Curious." He took a step towards you, so you raised your blasters in response. "Peace, human. All I ask is for the time stone, and you will be spared. You can even take your place as one of my children, saved from this. I'll teach you to take over the kingdom you will inherit from me. I can teach you the balance of the universe, how to reign the power you seem to possess. Just give me the stone, child."

You rolled your eyes at him, not impressed with his marketing campaign. "Yeah, sorry, not really interested in inheriting any thrones or anything. Also, I don't know what you mean about the powers because I'm just a human. So no thanks, not really wanting to hand over the stone that would lead to trillions upon trillions of deaths. Thanks, though." And, with that, a portal appeared under your feet, you fell through and landed on top of the flying donut wreck while Tony flew through, fighting Thanos. The fight was heating up as you watched, parts of Tony's suit disappearing as more of the nanos died from being ripped away.

But when he made a sword that Thanos snapped off, you knew you had to interfere. And so you flew down, grabbing Tony's arm and yanking him out of the way, willing your suit to disappear to create a shield to protect the two of you from the sword. But it disappeared just as quickly, and the sword dug itself into your side.

You gasped in shock, the feeling of metal inside of your body was very new. There wasn't necessarily pain, but you were sure that it was because of adrenaline. But you mostly felt… well weird but okay.

Well, until it was yanked out.

You collapsed on the ground, trying to perceive the shooting pain that was going through your body, followed by dizziness and the feeling of floating. You could feel the sticky blood as it pooled around you, unsure of just where it was coming from when everything hurt.

There were shouts and screams happening all around you as things happened, but you couldn't focus. Your vision was so blurry, and your eyes felt heavy. You wanted to fall asleep until someone slapped your face gently. A cool spray touched your side, and a bit of that lightheadedness seemed to fade, but you just couldn't focus.

"Vitals are low but stabilizing," said the voice of F.R.I.D.A.Y. in your ear. Your eyes fluttered open, seeing Tony crouched over you, checking you over.

"Tony, where… Thanos?" Your throat was raw and your head felt heavy. "The stone, he-"

"He got the time stone," he responded, not looking up from your wound. "He went after the last one in Vision's head. If he gets it… well, I don't know who's going to survive this."

Your heart dropped as Tony tried his best to keep you propped up against his chest. Tears were welling in your eyes. "He should have been here…" Tony just held you as you broke down. "They all should have been here. But they're not, and we lost. And he never answered my calls… or texts… he… he killed us all."

He didn't speak, just letting you cry it out as he tried his hardest to keep you awake. And then it happened. The people around you started to turn to dust. First Mantis, then Drax and Quill. Stephen disappeared, saying that this was the only way and that they were in the Endgame now. And then Peter. Tony held him as he cried, scared to not exist. He wanted to stay. He wanted to be there.

He was so scared.

You waited to see if something would happen. Minutes went by but the two of you, plus Nebula, remained. You were so tired, so exhausted, but you needed to get back to Earth. You needed to find a way home.

So you pushed yourself, despite the screaming in your side to just stop. You kept pushing to help them fix up Quill's ship, apparently called The Benatar. There wasn't much gas left, and maybe there would be some on this planet if you could just look…

But then your body just gave out, 20 feet outside of the Benatar. Your head spun as you tried to focus on something, anything. You could hear Tony's voice, but what it was shouting was unknown to you. You wanted to reach out, respond, do anything. But your body forced you into darkness, helplessly swimming and screaming for help.

You were lost before the ship even took off from Titan, trapped in your head and forced to try and escape the labyrinth of your own subconscious on your own.

----

Next Part

Taglist: 

@thedaydreamingwriter @hollandroos @tomhollandd

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Series Rewatch (#12)

S3 E12: Born This Way.

Episode description: Dr. Manning and Dr. Choi are faced with a tough decision.

Literally when are they not.

Okay, last episode ended with the first Ava/Connor kiss, so this episode should be a rollercoaster of emotions.

let’s get into it.

- okay, already we’re starting in connor’s apartment, so cue ava walking in bc they slept together?

- i think its hilarious that her casual clothing is.. a flannel. like lmao idk

- it is so unbelievably funny and stupid to have a one night stand with someone you work closely with. i mean come on

- never forget that dr. ava bekker has a fish tank

- this is exhausting. the tentative back and forth is so fucking exhausting

- another bit of evidence. ava is never not confident, and especially not to this extent, and she never follows connor’s lead. so, the fact that she is standing back and waiting for him to make the decision? stupid.

- it screams that she is having a moment of anxiety, which is why she isn’t up to make the decisions in the exchange.

-to be clear: what i’m claiming here is that the only reason ava actually got with connor was bc she was having a moment of anxiety because he was the only person she had built a relationship with after living in this city for six months.

- when connor says that he has plans you can see her fold in on herself. this stems from a place of anxiety

- remember when they did surgery on the panda? that’s when the show peaked

- ava in her lab coat will never not get me. especially with the gloves, running towards a patient (very hot)

- connor still looks kinda looks like a mess but ava is immaculate here like what dude out of your league

- ava asking the family questions (ik this is standard doctor stuff but showing worry, interest, all that jazz)

- okay, see here! here! ava calls connor out, saying that his procedure is too invasive. before, ava’s procedures where invasive, which everyone used as evidence to her being super cold, but now, we see that she purely does what she deems best for the patient at hand

- also, once again, the concern ava feels. you can hear it in her voice. we forget this part of her way too often

- the smile on ava’s face when she gives the family good news. god wept

- and then more concern when connor tells her they need to put him on ecmo

- the reason that ava is frustrated that connor didn’t go with her decision for their patient care is because she truly believes that if they don’t go with her treatment, he will die. don’t make it anything different. don’t argue she’s frustrated because he’s not listening to her. don’t make it anything about their relationship. she puts their patients care first and foremost

- there’s a stark shift in her demeanor when in the room with the parents vs. her alone with connor. in the room, you can see she’s stewing. she’s sucking on her teeth, she’s holding her emotions. she has control, she’s a professional. out of the room, she has full reign to be as mad with connor as she wants, which she does.

-AVA RAN INTO THE ROOM AGAIN WITH THE LAB COAT AND GLOVES AND IDK IT JUST HAS ME FEELING SOME KINDA WAY

- the way ava acknowledges everyone in the room (the nurse just informed them that the drug was running, ava nodded. just a little thing but yk)

- ava shaking her head at this sad, sad man (connor, who is floundering for a solution and misplacing his anger)

- their entire relationship is misplaced anger

- the fact that the last shot of the scene has connor in the foreground looking over the bed and ava watching from the door but ava is the one in focus - some cool cinematography points

- IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE MAGGIE GOES TO JAIL

- med really went all over the place

- JUST THE AMOUNT OF CONCERN ON AVA’S FACE. im gonna say it again. look me in the eyes and tell this women is a psychopath. the med writers are fucking insane

- and when the parents ask ava if she disagreed with connor’s treatment decision, she has every opportunity (and right, frankly) to throw him under the bus and undermine him. but still, she says “it’s a complicated situation.” like. she never ever makes it personal, or loses her head. especially not to a patient. and she doesn’t have to defend connor. he’s made a lot of mistakes, and taken it out on her a bunch of times. yet she’s still nice to him, when he’s not even in the room

- it’s insane

- this is also the legendary scene where she comforts the family. there’s not a lot that i haven’t already said. this is the scene that most exemplifies ava’s humanity, the way she seems to feel, at least residually, what these parents are going through (since she obviously hasn’t gone through anything like this herself [unless.]). the way she kneels down, and gets on the family’s personal level.

- I... okay listen. I absolutely HATE the parallel they pull her between the line “I believe whenever you do something out of love, it can never really be wrong” and connor. especially because they show him when she says that line. and yeah, there’s obviously a connection that can be drawn between the meaning of that line and her sociopathic behavior in s4 and s5.

- it honestly feels like when writing s4, the writers hit so much of a wall they just googled the most ‘iconic’ ava moments and thought ‘how can i use these in the worst way possible?’ That’s honestly probably what they did (ava’s first interaction with connor - ‘you better watch yourself,’ this moment). There is no nuance to her character in s4. it is astoundingly terrible.

- lets move on

- THE WAY CONNOR LOOKS AT AVA HER MAKES ME FUCKING SCARED. HE HAS NO EMOTION ON HIS FACE. I know that we’ve been screen capping ava throughout this series but can someone find pictures of connor looking at ava bc, i need yall to remember how weird he looks

- like, no shade to connor, but just the emotion is undecipherable, but it is in no way a good one

- ava getting concerned (and looking slightly embarrassed) when she sees connor watching her by the door. obviously yeah she’s gonna feel weird you just caught her in a very uncharacteristic moment, outwardly expressing comfort. fucking back off

- i am so fucking protective of her and i demand he no longer look at her. it’s banned

- sam abrams looking at sarah’s dad’s head ct and asking if he’s a criminal. oh boy 

- from a writer’s perspective, the storyline with sarah’s dad is actually pretty good

- ava ran into the room with gloves and lab coat again, if anybody wanted to know

- for the record, want it to be noted, ava was the one who realized that it was an issue with the machine again, so you could say she fixed connor’s mistake, again. so.

- connor making a big deal about handing the reins over to ava (if he really was selfless he wouldn’t have made a whole big thing, he still has an enormous hero complex)

- handing off control was very hard for him. boo hoo get some fucking humility I think they sell it at walgreens

- sarah fucking walking across the ed like she’s going to war. dramatic

- med really said pedophiles deserve rights with this ep huh

- anyway

- the way ava smiles

- the way she smiles when she turns him down. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? SHE TURNED HIM DOWN. in the aspect of the story i cannot remember why she turned him down, but hey, i’m happy

- and it only further proves my story that the hook up came from a place of anxiety, and this is her realizing how silly that decision was. and her smiling was her laughing at herself for making such a stupid decision

- ALSO. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS DECISION, THE DECISION TO TURN HIM DOWN, HAPPENED IN THE SAME EPISODE WHERE SHE SAID ‘IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR LOVE, IT’S NEVER REALLY WRONG’

- like she literally says ‘last night was a mistake.’

- honestly, it’s fucking hilarious. connor deserves nothing

- and the confusion on his face when she walks away. hilarious

- if you wanted to take this the reesker route you could argue that the idea of ‘a decision of love’ was ava coming to terms with her slight little crush, though i don’t know how clean it would be if you argue that she panicked and told herself those were feelings meant for connor. idk, i’ll have to think about it further

- watching sarah let herself be betrayed by both herself and the people around in the story surrounding her dad will never not be hard to watch

This was a very good episode, character wise, for all the reasons stated above. It just hammers home the point of how strong a character Ava was. Key word, of course, being ‘was’. My conclusion over the last two episodes is that this specific sexual encounter with Connor was born out of a moment of anxiety from Ava. I suggest that over that last few weeks or days she has been experiencing some amount of anxiety out of having been living in Chicago for six months and only having one interpersonal relationship. So, that idea kind of built where she told herself the reason she only had one relationship was because she was in love with him. Then. after going through the story with this kid and comforting his parents, she realizes that she never actually loved Connor and maybe has a thing for someone else. I’m glad that I keep coming up with more ideas for this character, I was afraid the initial theory was somewhat of a one-off, but this only proves the idea of the complexity to Ava’s character.

I’m sure it’ll get worse from here, though.

as always, thanks for sticking through

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Extra

[atiny-piratequeen]

Yeah i guess i feel like that cause the last 6 minths have been to heart brwkaing for my tiny heart. But also you are probably right if you managed to find not 1 but 2 amazing people. May i ask how did you all meet? And how did you realize you were pan and poly? ❄️

I understand. Give yourself time to heal before expecting another relationship. You want to go into relationship as mentally and emotionally healthy as you can or that could cause complications for you and your partner(s) in no time.

I met Zie like 9 years years ago because we became friends on tumblr because we shared a mutual interest in wrestling (and she was actually one of my readers for one of my fics). We stayed friends and became best friends. I'd message her every day and vice versa and we'd just write rps together and continue to talk about our day to day lives both the good and the bad.

Somewhere along the way, years later, I noticed that I valued her friendship and affection more and more and it kinda hit me one day that I 100% fell head over heels for her. I didnt ask her out until after I healed from this one toxic relationship i was on and off on through middle and high school and i was in a better place mentally. She actually said no the first time I asked her out because she was worried I was just trying to date someone who showed me positive affection after those years of emotional and mental abuse. So i waited, made sure i wasn't projecting my need to be properly loved onto her, and asked again on our first video chat together in 2015. She said yes and she's been by my side ever since. I love her with my whole heart.

Matt, we met though a friend of mine irl. Ik ik, bro code and shit, but my friend did him dirty. Upped and left him after he did everything possible to not only be a good bf, but friend. And we all thought that was grimey so we stayed close friends with him. Its actually a running gag that Matt and I are two sides of the same person because we're both Pan "bear" friends and we have a lot in common and finish each others sentences all the time. He actually drifted apart from us a bit when we dated Sam (our bf before him) bc Sam was as jealous as he was neglectful and he didnt like that matt playfully flirted with us, so out of respect and not wanting us to constantly argue with Sam, Matt pulled away from us. He came back thankfully and always was there to check on us and try and help us through that toxic ass relationship, and when it ended, he was back in our lives, making sure the two of us were okay and not at all fighting with each other. (Which, never happened. Zie and I have fought like a handful of times but never over jealousy). Cue a few months of reconnecting with an old friend (of which we both had a crush on anyway from years prior) and boom. Zie and I agreed that if given the chance, we'd love to date Matt. Cue mote wooing and gay ass flirting and the three of us sleepily asked each other out through psn before falling asleep in a party together. And thats how Zie and I started dating Matty Bear.

As for my sexuality, when I was in high school, as goofy as it sounds, I always liked reading fics that had poly relationships over ones that had just mono ones or worse, fucking love triangles.

Love triangles made me think of all the trauma from my past relationships and the characters i read about were dear to me so i never wanted them to suffer through being choosen over and I always preferred to see them together, even if that meant more than two people in a relationship. Cuddle piles, hand holding, the uniqueness that comes from some people in poly dynamics, i loved all of them and i eventually relaized that i wouldnt mind that for myself. I'm a very big lover, sometimes i fall too easily, sometimes its a slowburn, but I'm the type of person where I'll see someone i have affections for and immediately think about how nice it would be to have them happy and in love with me and the others i have affections for.

I guess I'll expose myself more and give an example but Kira is a perfect example of this. Like, yall, I'm not kidding when I say I love Kira (@deepnesta) and as soon as i started crushing on her, i immediately told zie and matt and my friends bc gay panic and i dont keep secrets from my partners. Like I would date Kira in a heartbeat and the thought of her being soft with either of my partners makes me wanna melt into a puddle so yeet thats how I know.

Also as for being pan, also in high school. I just...i really like and adore everyone, nm what they identify as. If you're attractive and i can form a connection with you emotionally or romantically or whatever, fuck it, your gender identity doesnt matter to me. I like you for you and thats just how it is

[plounce]

god ik its a wm au but I would Love to hear more about beauyasha in this au.. also like what has yasha been up to on earth? how does she interact with beau and caleb before molly arrives? 💜🕊

>:)))! i can absolutely do so!!

so in the first two or so seasons before all the heaven/apocalypse stuff, beau and caleb met yasha in an episode. she never SAID she was a valkyrie but that’s what they assumed she was, since she had a lot of viking stuff on her and the accent and she sort of implied that. it’s what made sense at the time, especially because they had no signs that angels are a real thing.

then molly happens, and then when yasha shows back up again they recognize each other and WHAT! YASHA’S AN ANGEL ACTUALLY?? crazy.

basically what happened is that at around 200 bce or so, yasha fell in love. i’m gonna say that zuala was another angel in her garrison, and angels aren’t supposed to fall in love. they’re supposed to be conforming divine warriors who don’t have all the flaws (or strengths, or texture, or spark) that humans do.

zuala was painted as the main culprit in this transgression. rather than making her Fall (les mis voice) as lucifer fell (because by that point they didn’t want to add any more True demons to hell’s side) for punishment, they decide to just obliterate her a la the hellfire in the last scene of the good omens tv show. it isn’t pretty. yasha is made to watch. she screams, and it makes the sun flare.

the rest of the angels are going to have their memories wiped of her - including yasha - but she learns of this in time and breaks through the floor of heaven and plummets to earth. molly helps her escape, but manages to avoid getting caught doing so.

molly was in the same garrison as them, and his memory of zuala was wiped with the rest of them. he remembers yasha, remembers being fond of her, remembers that she left heaven voluntarily and that he helped her, but there’s so many blank spots. they have him move garrisons to the tomb-takers after that, who are very elite and militant, and he becomes a demon-killing expert. it’s meant to drown out all that. and it kind of works; molly remembers more of yasha when he sees her again on earth.

yasha falls and falls and her angel blade slips from her hand as she dematerializes. it plummets and falls deep into some wilderness. a glint streaking down from the shooting star in the sky that night.

what happens next is the thing that happened with anna - yasha has no vessel lined up and she wasn’t given permission to leave, and is swiftly getting her grace cut off by heaven, and her being is transformed into a human baby. she is born, and grows up in a little scandinavian village a little bit strange. her parents tell her how there was a huge shooting star the night she was born, how they think it’s a good omen form the gods, and she has a sense that she’s different - special. she’s strong and naturally gifted with the club and the axe and especially the sword - anything they put in her hands.

when she’s old enough, she’s chosen to go on their clan’s raids. she excels at getting the resources her village needs from the southern peoples. she’s a terror, and everyone knows that she’s blessed from above.

then one year, she gets separated from the raiding party and is making her way through the forest trying to make it back to the coast so she can find their boat. and out of the corner of her eye she sees a strange glint, and something in her pulls her to go to it. it’s a strange sword embedded in the rock, and she puts her hand on it, and pulls –

and memories and power flood into her. memories of zuala, of creation, of molly, of heaven’s gleaming pathways, of zuala, of the first things that crawled on land, of zuala, of the face of god, of zuala, zuala, zuala. smiling, flying, fighting, touching, burning. she screams. her howl echoes through the woods.

her people have been waiting for her back at the boat, because they can’t leave their best warrior behind. when she strides out of the woods, she’s different. she walks different, and has this power radiating from her. she climbs on the boat, tells them to go. she’s almost glowing a little bit. they row away, and yasha spends the entire journey staring up at the sky, out at the horizon.

after that day she’s different. even quieter. everyone assumes she had a holy experience that day, and she doesn’t disagree, because, well. after that day she’s keenly aware of the norse gods’ presences, and doesn’t age. when she realizes that everyone is moving forward towards death without her (humans seem so small now - she loves her human parents, she does, but remembering what the sun looked like in its infancy changes a viking), she leaves, and goes to asgard, and pledges herself to the ranks of valkyries. she’s not nearly as strong as she once was, but she’s strong enough to fit in with her new people, so she finds herself a place there among the aesir.

(side note im keeping my distance from how this world interacts with non-abrahamic religions - thats SO not my business - just know theyve got their own power and their own places that aren’t like. Beneath that of abrahamic god. because iirc spn was terrible about that) (also i say abrahamic bc iirc islam has a lot of angels and demonology in its culture but thats all im gonna say bc again: i am not a theology major, and this au is much more about the surface fun of it all rather than making any statements or assertions about ACTUAL religions (past or present) obviously) (also i’m never gonna mention jesus or the antichrist or whatever)

the angel blade is tied to her grace. her grace still exists up in heaven, locked away in the archives, so the blade still has its source. it also contains her love for zuala and molly and - and all that she loved before she was torn apart - and that fuels it, connects it to her. gives her access to its power. she’s mostly just sort of supernaturally stronger and can take more of a beating than a normal human, and on certain days/times of year she can fly short distances. days that were holy to her. she carves norse runes on her blade, because it’s hers now. she can’t age or die of old age, but she still does have human needs - food, water, sleep. she’s tough, but if she’s unlucky then she can be killed. luckily, she’s very good at fighting.

her wings… they’re not like they once were. being with the valkyries makes humans see them like other valkyries’, but the aesir can see them for what they are - decayed, fragile, skeletal things, with what remaining feathers there are barely hanging on. like her feathers in cr proper.

after ragnarok, when the surviving aesir meet in the fields of asgard, yasha thanks them for their hospitality, and returns to midgard. she wanders for a while, mostly by herself. she helps when she sees people who need her help, but mostly she just keeps herself alive and moving. quiet, contemplative. loving god’s creation even though heaven hurt her deeply. she spends years not speaking to anyone. what happened to the aesir was traumatizing to her, and she’s secure enough that she doesn’t need what they gave her when she was “younger.”

at some point she makes her way to north america. she wanders, builds cabins, and when she stumbles upon the opportunity she watches over what she once watched over. she’s aware of Hunters but is uninterested in them - they’re not hunting for food and while they help widows and the grieving that’s not their Business. not her business.

flash forward to early season 2. we know beau and caleb by this point and the basic premise of the show and the world. on a hunt in montana beau and caleb take shelter in a cabin during a snowstorm, and in the middle of the night the door opens. beau is taking watch and shoves a gun up in the intruder’s face - but it’s just yasha, holding a deer carcass and looking distinctly unimpressed. “you’re in my house.”

beau stutters an apology, caught entirely off guard by the 6′5″ mountain of a woman, and yasha shoulders past her to the table to stoke the fire and clean her kill. it’s her dinner for next month, yasha gruffly explains when beau asks what she’s doing. don’t like supermarkets.

caleb wakes up to beau helping yasha cut away the entrails. he is very frightened and confused, but when beau gives the all-clear he calms down a little. not entirely, because he knows this woman is beau’s type, and they’re still on a hunt.

they explain what they’re up to to yasha, who nods. says she’s noticed things have been strange. and beau helped her, so. she’ll help them. she’s also bored, and has a good feeling about these two.

so she helps out with the hunt, and throughout the episode beau clumsily flirts with her and yasha never turns her down but also never Flirts back. there’s a tension that’s mostly powered by beau but isn’t shut down by yasha (yasha thinks beau’s sweet and attractive, and she’s taken some human lovers over the last two millennia, but is still devoted to the memory of zuala. the audience doesn’t know that thought). she and caleb connect on a We Are Both Quiet Introverts level, like they do in actual cr (reminiscent of the shaving scene after bowlgate).

it isn’t until the end that caleb and beau think she’s anything but a mountain lady. then she pulls out a HUGE GLOWING SWORD carved with RUNES and THERE’S SOMETHING BEHIND HER THAT LOOKS LIKE WINGS? and then she nods, says goodbye, and walks away into the woods before caleb and beau can pepper her with questions about what the fuck just happened.

they run after her, but can’t find her or the cabin again. in the car ride back to civilization, caleb theorizes that she might be a valkyrie, and beau’s like yeah that sounds appropriately sexy.

yasha is a fan favorite. she had a whole focus episode and she was so mysterious and cool! the audience clamors for her to be brought back, and are sad when she doesn’t show up for the rest of season 2. beau and caleb mention her a couple times, so it’s made plain that she isn’t TOTALLY a one-off, but… hm!

beaujester shippers already existed by this point (jester was in season 1 and again in season 2), and beauyasha gains some popularity. beau having attractions to both of them is present in the show, but she isn’t dating either of them. there’s significance to both of them - they’re both people beau thinks of when she thinks of having Somebody.

a lot of fic about yasha is written between seasons 2 and 4, theorizing about her life as a valkyrie and what her and beau meeting up would be like… which is all then jossed when angels happen in season 4.

caleb gets taken to hell at the end of season 3 because of ikithon and for beau. during his last couple days on earth, he begs beau to find jester. or hell, yasha. don’t be alone, please. live and be happy. go get - go get powerlifted by one or both of them. i heard you sleeptalk enough about that. and beau tells him to shut up, don’t talk like that, i’ll - i’ll find a way to bring you back. and then you can see me get gay married or whatever it is you want me to do. because i’m gonna get you out of there. and caleb smiles, and his eyes say we both know you won’t.

there’s a whole genre of fic about jester or yasha (or both) comforting beau and settling into hunting/domesticity with her or helping her rescue caleb after caleb gets dragged away btw. idk why im making up fake fic about this au but you know what. i deserve this.

yasha is sort of put out of mind in the heaven excitement of season 4 and the arrival of molly as a third companion, turning their duo into a trio half the time. the apocalypse stuff isn’t quite happening yet btw (this is where i start diverging from the seasonal structure of spn), it’s just angels being real and caleb and beau being mysteriously important to them.

there is one point where during the beginning of an episode about halfway through the season where they’re regaling molly with a story of one of their hunts - beau is trying to embarrass caleb with a time he got enthralled by a siren, and caleb bats back with well, at least i didn’t let a giant woman with a dead deer push my gun aside so she could skin the thing with no enchantments on me at all. and beau’s like AW CMON DUDE DONT BRING YASH INTO THIS.

then there’s a shot where their bickering dialogue continues but the camera is focused on molly, who tilts his head a little, considering, then takes a sip of his orange juice (he hates coffee - too bitter! if he’s going to consume something to keep up the idea that he’s human, it’ll be something that tastes good!). then it cuts to the car.

it’s intentionally ambiguous if that’s about caleb getting seduced by a siren, beau being embarrassed, or whatever - it’s just an odd little moment. which is significant when they’re up north again, four episodes later, in a little restaurant off the highway, and they’ve just finished their meal and talk about the season plotline is happening when the door SLAMS open, and booted feet stomp across the dirty tile, strong legs in worn jeans, a huge backpack - beau’s eyes widen - and there’s yasha, striding directly to their table with a look of utmost focus and determination.

beau goes to stand, caleb’s brow furrows - yasha, what are you doing here - what’s going on - when, before they can act, molly stands up, causing the table to rock and their cups to slosh over. yashael! he exclaims, his face split in incredulous delight. you’re alive! you survived! you’re okay - it’s been millennia! what are you doing here?! oh, i don’t care, get over here. and he goes to her, and she hugs him, and beau and caleb are standing there, slack-jawed, as stony stoic yasha cracks a wide smile and hugs molly and lifts him off the ground.

did… did mollymauk just say ‘yashael?’ caleb says, stunned. molly is cradling yasha’s face in his hands, and her cheeks are round with joy. beau’s imagination could never have given her this smile, and she’s jealous a little bit, but also in awe, but mostly also trying to process the two puzzle pieces that just locked themselves together that she thought were totally separate from each other.

(relevant posts to their reunion: art, text, text)

from then on yasha is part of their group, at least for that season. there’s a lot of caleb and beau commiserating over their attraction to two LITERAL ANGELS - especially when the truth of yasha’s fall is revealed. beau is torn up inside about all of it - an ANGEL, for the first part, and her dead angel lover (how could beau ever compete with an ANGEL) and, oh christ, molly’s odd humoring of her crush on yasha is cast in a new light now.

and then jester comes back and… well, now beau’s torn between two hot girls who are both important in the grand scheme of things! yipes!

it takes a long time and there’s probably also some romantic drama in that triangle etc, but beauyaster is endgame. because i have a huge fucking brain.

[xanthicantag]

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled  Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there)  But like, maybe daffodils? 

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot.  I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again.  Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield?  or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right??  On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target.  I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game?  And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right.  Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct.   Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon.  Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit.  Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier?  You know?  Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3?  that’s some good shit.  But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers.  I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.  

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life!  Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years.  A nice bound book though?  *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain.  It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour.  A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster. 

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing.  Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace?  Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf.  Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection.  Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck.  This is so hard.  I want to be, so many.  No you know what, fuck it.  I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face.  Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um.  Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties???  Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know.  And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable.  Not gone or broken.  Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh?  You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it.  Walk away sometimes.  Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES.  Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket.  The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options).  A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe.  There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard,  Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those?  and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know

[eldritchsurveys]

o58.

1. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not?: >> Can Calah doesn’t use facebook, first of all; but second of all, if I had someone’s facebook password I wouldn’t be using it for that. I just don’t see the point of being that level of nosy, unless they’d given me express permission or something. Even then... meh. 2. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not, have you ever came close to?: >> I did once when I had a period for like three straight weeks and it was really heavy; blinked and suddenly I was on the floor somehow. The only other times that I’ve come close is when I was being asphyxiated with a plastic bag (consensually), and when I forgot to eat or drink for a while with drugs in my system and I had just walked a total of 60 city blocks. 3. Do you still trick or treat? If so, how old will you be when you stop? If not, how old were you when you stopped?: >> I have never done it. 4. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in that class or how you used to before you took the class?: >> Yeah, I’ve taken them. But I taught myself to touch-type when I was like six, so those classes were actually redundant (they made me do all the assignments anyway, even after I proved I could type at competent speed/accuracy). 5. What did the last umbrella you used look like?: >> It’s red and black and huge.

6. How many pairs of boots do you own?: >> One pair of fashion-y boots, one pair of rain boots, and one pair of snow boots. 7. Ever cut your hair (the entire thing – not just the bangs or a little part) yourself?: >> I always cut my own hair. It’s just a buzzcut so it’s really easy to do. 8. Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive?: >> --- 9. How much was your last paycheck?: >> Hm. 10. Do you get paid bi-weekly or weekly?: >> Monthly. 11. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want?: >> I either throw them away, give them to someone, or take them to Goodwill. 12. Do you cut out coupons?: >> I did as a child, because I liked the stim of cutting out things, not because I was actually going to use them for anything.  13. Does anyone in your house play xBox live?: >> I mean, our Xbox is connected to the internet... 14. What was the last school you attended (if you’re still in school, put the school you attended before you came to your current school?: >> Westfield High School. I mean, I did attend that one vocational school for a month before I left, but first of all it was just a month and hardly counts in my opinion, and second of all I don’t even remember the name of it anymore. 15. Would you ever date a co-worker?: >> --- 16. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards?: >> Yes! It’s hilarious. 17. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having?: >> Probably not. I don’t have the patience or dedication for that sort of thing. But I’d help someone else with theirs. 18. What’s the age to buy alcohol and to buy cigarettes in your area?: >> 21 and 18, respectively, if I remember correctly. 19. Do you ever eat candy cigarettes?: >> Yeah. Didn’t care for them. 20. Is there anyone on your block/in your apartment complex/whatever that you’ve never seen? For example, you know someone lives next door but you may have never actually seen them leave the house or anything.: >> Sure. 21. When shopping, do you usually head straight for the clearance or sales racks?: >> Depending on the store, sometimes. 22. What’s your biggest pet peeve at your job?: >> --- 23. How old do you want to be when you move out?: >> That ship has sailed. 24. Have you ever seriously considered dropping out of school or college? What made you decide to do it/not do it?: >> My father never would have let me drop out of high school, and besides, what else would I have done with my life anyway? He would have kicked me out and it would have been downhill from there, lol.  25. Ever meet and talk to someone from an online dating site?: >> Yeah, I met Darkness that way (on GothicMatch, lmfao). But I’ve also met other people on dating sites, it just never went anywhere with anyone but him. 26. Last type of candy you ate?: >> A sour Mike and Ike. 27. Last time you deposited money in a bank?: >> I don’t remember, I have direct deposit after all. 28. What about withdrew money?: >> I withdrew money from an ATM at the Rebirth show. 29. Ever kissed someone with braces? If so, was it any different than kissing someone without braces?: >> Never done it. 30. Would you date someone you weren’t physically attracted to? Why or why not?: >> I don’t think I’ve ever dated someone I wasn’t at least aesthetically attracted to, even if not fully like “I WANNA TAKE THEM TO THE BONE ZONE IMMEDIATELY” levels of attracted, lol. Also, sexual attraction is its own beast, like, sometimes I might not start out sexually attracted to someone but as I get to know them I end up that way, or something. Or sometimes I’m not sexually attracted to someone (not like “ew” but just like “meh, can take it or leave it”), but I’m attracted to other things about them. Life and love and shit just be like that, it’s still all love.  31. Ever had egg drop soup?: >> Sure. 32. How many tattoos do you want in the future?: >> As many as I can fit on this small frame of mine. 33. How soon do you start planning your Halloween costume each year?: >> --- 34. Last time you had Chinese food?: >> I don’t remember. 35. Are you any good at dying hair?: >> I suppose? 36. What brand of shampoo did you use last?: >> I forget. 37. Ever spent outrageous amounts on a hair product that ended up not working as well as you thought it would?: >> No, not outrageous amounts. 38. What color were the seats in the last car you rode in?: >> Black. 39. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out or just put up a few things?: >> We put up what few kitschy decorations we have, but it isn’t much. Sparrow’s mostly the one into the whole decorating business, I like to look at them but I find the actual process of decorating to be a little tedious, lmao. 40. When you were little (or maybe you still trick-or-treat now), which house gave the best candy?: >> --- 41. Last person to hang up on you?: >> --- 42. Are you excited for winter, or are you dreading it?: >> Can I have summer first, please, lol. 43. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?: >> I don’t really like pencil sharpening to begin with, I prefer mechanical pencils. 44. Do you still own a VCR? What about any VHSes?: >> No. 45. What’s your favorite scary movie?: >> I don’t know that I have a specific favourite, I just like a lot of horror movies. 46. How do you plan on spending your Halloween this year?: >> I don’t know... :/ 47. Which type of Halloween costume do you prefer, sexy ones or scary ones? Or maybe funny ones?: >> I like all of them. I’ve still never worn one, so... 48. What was the most boring costume you ever had?: >> --- 49. Heck, do you even celebrate Halloween? If not, sorry, those questions must’ve gotten annoying.: >> I celebrate it as well as I can, but I don’t really get to do much, is all. 50. Do you like cranberry sauce?: >> Sure.  

[abratatas]

Malo In Him // MY

A Min Yoongi mafia AU

Min Yoongi, the town’s malo man as they call him. To you, he’s your sun- there’s nothing anyone could ever say to make you think different of him; until you find out what’s really laying underneath those ‘I love you’s and gummy smiles.

Smut/Fluff/Angst

1/2/?

“Hey, Jagi- I’m heading out again, okay?” He says softly, speaking the words that spark rage in your body every night like clockwork.

“Again, Yoongi? Will I ever actually be able to go to bed with you next to me?” You spit, abruptly raising from your position on the couch and glaring at him. Yoongi gulps at the sight of the fire in your eyes, he hates this- he hates the fact that he knows that you’re slowly drifting away- no- he’s slowly drifting away; he hates those nights he has to spend doing his job, leaving you alone in the cold, empty apartment, but it’s for your own safety. If anyone knew about you, you’d not live for another minute. There were thousands of people on the search for his blood, knives tucked secretly under their shirts and a pistol shoved in their back pockets as they prowl the nightlife of the many cities inhabiting South Korea, knowing that the bright haired young man could appear any moment and they could receive their fame and vengeance.

He sighs, his soft palm caresses your chin as his dark eyes fill with nothing but adoration and admiration. No matter how cold he acts towards you sometimes, you couldn’t deny the love he has for you. Your photo hangs proudly on his wall in the dorms, he spends most of his evenings there, his days being filled with you. Even the boys know of his adoration, they see the picture hanging in his wall and ask multiple questions to which Yoongi blushes and smiles, dismissing their curious tones. The boys obviously caught on eventually, Yoongi shows emotion to nobody- not even his own parents. Nobody but Yoongi and the boys know of the true nature of his parents, them knowing even before they were recruited into the sinister world of drugs and violence. No matter how much they warm up to Yoongi, they will never be able to singe the true fear that bubbles inside of them whenever he requests for them to do a simple task in fear of doing it wrong and igniting something inside him that was supposedly put out the day his parents passed.

Every night like clockwork, a person dies- whether in the hands of Bangtan themselves, or in the hands of the enemy; every night, somebody dies. Sometimes they’re innocent, sometimes they’re not, the normal person would feel nauseous; the thought of taking someone’s life with the snap of their fingers proving to be too much- Yoongi, however, feels no remorse. Yeah, you could call him a sociopath to which he had been called many times before- however it’s not like Yoongi doesn’t feel terrible afterwards, it’s not like Yoongi doesn’t spend days thinking about the victim’s family and what happened when they received the news of their beloved; he does care, but he’s learnt not to show it- he’s learnt not to let the enemy see how much it hurts Yoongi inside to take another life, the amount of souls building up on his shoulders and weighing him down. It’s a burden he’ll never be able to shake off, a burden that will weight him down forever.

He gazed into your innocent eyes, oh how he’d wish to keep you safe forever, he’s trying- he really is- but he knows that one day, his guard will be let down for no more than a millisecond and his world will be taken for him in the hands of a guy with a gun. It’s inevitable, the amount of bounty’s he has on him- it’s almost unbelievable that he’s still alive. Hell- even he doesn’t know why he’s still alive, it’s not like he’s the most graceful person when fighting; he makes his mistakes and usually they come back to bite him in the ass- but he’s still alive, he still has you, he still has all 6 members of bangtan. He still has everything that makes Yoongi, Yoongi. All it takes is one of those things to be taken from him, to rip his facade down.

“I’ll stay tomorrow, I promise.” He lies through his teeth, his heart swelling at the sight of the grin forming on your soft complexion.

“Okay, I love you.” You say, to which Yoongi smiles and leans down for a kiss. He’s gone before you can even open your eyes.

Here you are again, the third night in a row left alone to your own accord. The clock ticking patrionizingly, reminding you of how long it is until your home returns to you. Where could he even be? You know he wouldn’t cheat, there isn’t a cheating bone in his body- you trust him enough to know that he wouldn’t even dream of cheating. He has trust issues as it is, the thought of breaking another person’s trust and going behind their back kills him more than it would kill the person he’s betraying- it also took him months to open up to you, let alone a random woman.

Is he drinking? No, you’ve been awake a few times when he’s gotten home and he never seems drunk nor smells of alcohol. What on earth could he be doing?

With that thought in mind, you pour yourself your first of many glasses of wine for the night and get comfy on the sofa, turning on Netflix and binging on whatever movies or shows you see first.

“Are you ready, Sir?” Jungkook speaks, handing the silver object over to Yoongi- the word ‘argent’ written in cursive on the barrel. Argent is Yoongi’s signature piece, every enemy that has been lost to the bullets of Min Yoongi himself have been due to the beauty that is Argent. Although beautiful, her silver glistening in the pale moonlight- Yoongi sees her as a battle symbol, something that holds memories of evil rather than good.

“Of course I am.” He says, marking his second lie of the night. Is he ever ready? Is he ever ready to take another life, innocent or not? The answer is no, but he has to and he knows he has to. Glancing at his members, Hoseok smiles reassuringly at him- to which Yoongi returns a small smile, his hand gripping the silver, turning it foggy.

“They’re heading East, Sir. Their car carries more than one bomb so if I were you, I’d try to detonate all of them before we attack anyone. We never know, all it takes us one of them to sneak off and collect one of these things and we’re all dead.” Namjoon speaks from the back of the car, this phone glowing green as he scans the enemy’s cars.

“Who are we fighting again?” Taehyung pipes up, Jimin slapping him on the arm in annoyance.

“Erebus, you dumbass- where have you been the past two months? We’ve literally been planning this since you started University.” He growls, shaking his head at the younger.

“Oh yeah I remember now, by the way- the leader knows who you are and he has ten guards that know your every feature.”

The car screeches to a halt, Yoongi’s once nervous exterior turning to deadly in a heartbeat. The entire car goes silent, the sound of Taehyuhg’s heartbeat probably being able to be heard from space.

“What did you just say?” Yoongi whispers, venom dripping off of his words as he glares at Taehyung in the rear view mirror, gripping on the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white.

“I-i thought it would be h-helpful,” Taehyung stutters, eyes wide with fear and his breathing turning rapid. Nobody has seen Yoongi so full with rage, images of his past flow through the 6 boys’ minds as they clutch the arm rests in fear and anticipation.

All Yoongi sees is red, he’s always had trouble with his temper but when people leave out a major detail in his projects, it sends him into overdrive. His breathing slows, the bright red that once tinted his ears and face drains down his kneck and his hands loosen.

Think of Y/N. Think of Y/N.

“It’s fine, just- remember to tell me something as important as that next time, okay?” He sighs, the boys’ jaws dropping in shock as they whiteness their leader just shoving such a mistake aside.

“Thank you so much sir,” Taehyung’s voice shakes, relief flooding his features and the others let out the breath that they held the entire time.

Flashes of light illuminate Yoongi’s face as all that can be seen out of the windows is green and concrete, the faint outline of the city barely visible in the moonlight. Calming, a contrast to the nerves bundling inside of yoongi’s stomach- a ritual that happens almost every night for him. Again, no matter how many times he repeats the process of kill and run, he’ll never get used to the rush of guilt and sound of screams that haunt him every second of every day.

Pulling into park, the gray concrete building seems fitting for such an act, almost a representation of the emotions Yoongi feels. The cool air hits them in the face as they step outside, weapons on hand and pulses sky high.

“Are you ready, Sir?” Yoongi turns to the youngest, Jungkook’s eyes wide with fear as they are every night. Although he’s the groups strongest, the kid is barely ready for this sort of stuff- however, the boys needs all the help they need. The 7 to 12 ratio of the rival gangs isn’t the most convenient, but Bangtan having an advantage as every single member is exceptionally skilled in every aspect of combat- the rival group only having half of the members skilled as much as Bangtan.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Yoongi replies, grabbing his shotgun and giving the signal to the other members.

It’s now or never.

Hey!! Chapter 2 for those who’re still reading :)) Ik it took a while but I’ve been really busy lately 

~E (requests open)

[wannabeollg]

so this is basically my mood. its been my mood for a really long time:( I'm not typing this attention from all 11 of my followers💀 I'm typing this bc I have to get it out. journaling isn't enough. so basically, since freshman year, I've gone through bouts of some seriousness sadness. I dont want to say depression bc I wasn't diagnosed with it, but for all I know I am... anyways, I'm just sad. I was put in alternative school for a little bit because I didn't something totally stupid but I learned my lesson. 6 weeks away from my friends was a good punishment. anyways, I went back to regular school on Jan. 8... I was excited to see all my friends but they didn't really share quite the same enthusiasm. I shrugged it off.. I mean I have classes with them so not a big deal, right? I'd get to sit with them during class. we could gab and catch up then.... but it didn't really turn out that way. some people that I thought were some of my closest friends, barely talk to me now. maybe its bc I was gone for basically 2 months, and we just drifted apart from each other. I'm starting to get closer to the person that I considered my first friend at my new school after I moved, again. that does make me happy. I've missed her so much. but I've also gone thru some other shit. in July 2017, my best friend decided to cut ties with me a week before school was to start up again. she gave me no explanation. it hurt. it hurt so much. my boyfriend had just broken up with me exactly a week before, and i didnt even bat an eyelash... but when she told me she thought itd be best if we just werent friends anymore, i froze. i felt numb. she was my best friend. it was supposed to be us against the world... i guess not. i cried a lot. i cried for the first time in months. i had been doing pretty okay, mental health-wise, and then she just randomly did that...and now, almost half a year later, it still hurts. I didn't get closure and probably won't, now. but also, in march 2017, I got drunk for the first time. the boy that had broken my little sophomore heart, was at the same get together I was. it was at my friends house and he was her brothers friend... of course he was going to be there. but anyways, I got drunk. I got sad bc me and him were joking around and acting like pals, but we were intoxicated so it made sense. anyways, I quietly got upset bc I realized. how much things had changed between us. I mean, we were juniors in high school and we went almost that entire year without talking to each other. we were such good friends and then he ditched me for his new gf... he did me dirty but I still wanted him- how pathetic. anyways, I'm off topic so at the party, I, drunkenly, confronted him about it and I cried (*facepalms*). he said we were still friends, but were not. its not the same. we just go to the same school and maybe have a few classes together?? its not the same. but anyways, i told him everything that i had been thinking for that past year, and i got my closure...and I didn't want to admit it back then because how could I have known? I had no experience. I didn't know what it felt like... but now, I'm pretty sure I loved him. and I think a part of me still does, so much for that closure. so yeah, I think I'm still in love with the boy who left me for another girl, even after I told him I liked him and he told me he liked me back. that's what fucked me up the most. that little bit of hope fucked me up. and now we're gonna graduate in may and I won't see him probably ever again. we're both going in different directions. he's going into the airforce and I'm going into the army and he's still with that bitch lmao jk she's not a bitch but I have a strong distaste for her since January 2016. ever since then, I pretty much figured I wouldn't ever have a bf during hs. I briefly had one over summer 2017, but it was more of a fling. and then the guy that I had liked for a short time, asked me out in august 2017.... and I wanted so badly to say yes, because yes! he's cute and ambitious!! but, he has a kid. a whole baby momma who is also in my grade. I couldn't. I wanted so badly to say yes. I wanted to kiss him on the mouth and hold hands with him and just say yes! but I didn't... later in September, a little scandal broke that I was trying to break up the lovely couple... which I wasn't.... I mean it wasn't my fault that he caught feelings.... but yep so that happened.. I think those were the main parts of 2017 tbh. sorry, I'm just blabbering on, but its nice to get this out... so imma continue not tryna sound conceited, but i think I'm easily liked... like whats not to like about me? I'm smart, athletic, funny, and not ugly. maybe I'm on the chubbier side, but I'm not pushing the limits by any means. and I know guys have had "crushes" on me. I mean 4 guys have told me that the like[d] me in my entire lifetime, that plus I can sorta tell when a guy dropping hints. so its not like I'm driving boys away. I've had one boyfriend, which was the fling so I barely consider him an actual relationship but we did make it official so ig I have to claim him... but anyways, ig no one wants me?? that worries me. I'm gonna graduate and go into the real world soon with no relationship experience other than how to make out (not even French kiss tho!!!) and its been awhile since that so idek if ik how to do that anymore. (btw I had my first kiss with fling-boy. April 2017, just a few days before my 17th birthday, so you can understand that just about only 3 months of sucking face only every other weekend is not a enough time to become an expert).... so yep. no experience, at all. I'm still a virgin too. bro I gtg. jk, I want my first time to be meaningful, so I'm not putting out to just any random guy.... but okay thats all I've been thinking about lately.. its a lot I know, but eh... I'm still feeling x( but maybe just a little less

[10hour11minute]

Lin’s Word Dump Masterpost

basically a compilation of all the crap I say (#lin says stuff) so I have less posts on this blog LOL

If you don't want to see... ...my random text posts, blacklist #lin says stuff ...my negative/possibly triggering/rant posts, blacklist #;negative

180611: Do you think ghost cheetahs ever try to race cars on the highway

180924: the recipe for the best 'dessert' I can make:

take a cup out of ur cupboard that’s not super tiny

crumble up a brownie to fill 2/3-1/2 cup (I like using brownies 1-2 days old bc it isn’t super soft or crusty; a nice mix between soft and cronchy)

Microwave the brownies for about 15 seconds (your preference) You can switch steps 2-3 if your brownie is too hard to crumble

Make sure your brownies are nice and crumbled (if they’re still too hard... just stab that thing with a fork)

Scoop out as much ice cream as you want into the cup (u can use any flavour but vanilla is noice)

Don’t mix the ice cream and brownies- just turn the ice cream around in the cup so the brownie covers the outside of ur scoop

BOOM ice cream brownies

181104: so I kinda just. yawned which transitioned into a whispered “banana bread”

181118: My mom just dropped me off at our apartment and said “bye, good luck!” as if I now had to battle ferocious monsters and complete various sidequests to get home-

181126: movies always have the characters own a top locker, but like I want a movie where the main character and another character walk to their locker and the other character opens their own locker and starts talking and it cuts to a shot of the mc squatting down to open their bottom locker

190223: Y’all ya girl finally gets to play in a parade today!!!

190224: This isn’t going to make sense to any of you but I think Bryan could pull of singing Drive By by Train (just dc things...but day6 brian too)

190301:

So there are these guys I KEEP USING THIS AS A SENTENCE STARTER AKSB that are all kind of friends (they all are friends with my gay friend)

I kind of walked in on the 4 of them fooling around like "So how are my tall asian boys?" honestly me @ seventeen

So now I'm thinking of them in a band/kgroup-

we s t a n (I want to make a comic/promo art akajhs)

#also one of them was like "ahem did u just assume my gender" and like beNT DOWN TO REACH MY HEIGHT SO WAS LIKE BISH EXCUSE ME- #i'll probs make them a kpop group so i don't use their real names lmao

190318: I just choked on cereal and lost a piece of my soul

190407: just burned my tongue with cream cheese reminds me of that time i burnt my thumb with cheese and also that time i burnt my fingerprint off with hot glue

190415: y’all it’s been almost a year since I’ve touched a saxophone and i am d e p r e s s o and am having literal nightmares (im not kidding, i’m dreaming of band still) that I will never play one again asdfjklh im laughing but im crying

190425: O SHIT IM PANROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL THAT MEANS IM PAN-ACE THAT’S WHY IM ALWAYS PANICKING BC PANACING

sometime before 190126:

Since I was little, I always kind of had this headcanon that everyone has a soulmate and a ‘soulfriend’ except if you find your 2 people you won’t know which is which

And like your soulmate’s soulfriend might not be your soulfriend

Then it kind of just turned into a story where a person finds their 2 soulbuds but falls in love with the wrong person

And like how hard would that be for the actual soulmate?? Like “do I have 2 soulfriends orrr”

190516: could someone buy me a spiderman hoodie thanks

#bonus points if its a jacket that zips up all the way past my face so i can hide from my problems

190619: So in the past hour I have:

failed to boil and egg

gotten sad about failing to boil an egg

eaten bread because I was sad about failing to boil an egg

190719: I’d like to drop all my aspirations and become a pirate

190724:

sO I WAS JUST IN A HOUSE WITH 6 LESBIANS AND NO DUDES SO IN TOTAL 8 LGBTQ+ FEMALES IN THE HOUSE and we were facetiming another lgbtq+ girl I think so THE GAY WILL PREVAIL

I FORGOT TO UPDATE

BUT THE GIRL MY AGE AND THE GIRL WE WERE FACETIMING ARE NOW DATING

WHICH MEANS THERE WERE ACTUALLY 7 LESBIANS AND ONE ASEXUAL (me) IN THE HOUSE FACETIMING ANOTHER LESBIAN SO 8 LESBIANS THAT WERE ACTUALLY 4 COUPLES

190804: Ya bro just drew tiny alchemy symbols on her forearms with metallic nailpolish and it looks cool!!

190818: My life is an anime and I don’t like the genre

190819: SOMEONE JUST SAID THE “id die for you” “THEN PERISH” meme out loud in the real life and i was NOT PREPARED

190821:

Dunno if i should be flattered or concerned my friend in my geo class is texting me during geo class while im stuck at home on doctor’s orders being sick amd depressed

I just ate a fortune cookie with

“Judge one not by his charms, but by his actions.”

And now he’s sending me videos of what the teacher’s saying

Thanku panda express I’ll trust u this once

He’s sending me pictures of his notes im aksjdh

Me: Thanku youre a very valid smol child

190830: I remember that 1 post abt how tears of different emotions look different under a microscope, like hecc yeah they sure taste different too

190910: I GOT DROPPED FROM MY HOMEROOM IM DYING

191009: methinks it’s very bde of me to eat a whole mango slice like a banana (it’s more like the consistency of an apple when frozen or kinda like a watermelon when it gets to room temp but anyway)

191017: We just watched I Don’t Want to Go Back Alone and I want to cry hdjajjd It’s so sweet and the way the short film is shot does a gr8 job at telling the story

191212: Random but i iust remembered theres a guy in my health class that thinks/thought I’m a junior/older than him, but ironically he’s like 3 months older than me lmfao

200409: ik “do you think in Canadian” is a sentence that shouldn’t make sense but I 100% think in Canadian smh (this is abt humor vs humour)

[soulspideys]

A Review of Tom Holland’s Complete Filmography

According to imdb

I had a lot of free time, so I decided to watch every movie Tom has acted in, according to his imdb page. I review each film, some with separate spoiler-free reviews.

spoilers under the cut

Arrietty (UK dub)

Not much to say about this one, so both reviews will go together. Tom plays Sho, the sick boy who finds Arrietty and her family. Quite similar to the Disney version, though a little less childish and fun. An enjoyable viewing; I find both English dubs interchangeable.

The Impossible (2012)

Wow. For my spoiler-free review, I just gotta say: watch this movie!! The whole cast is phenomenal, and Tom really does carry the story. He’s a 12-year-old boy on Holiday with his family when a tsunami hits, and we watch his struggle to get his mother medical attention and reunite with his father and little brothers. For such a young character, it is truly remarkable to watch him steal every scene. Definitely recommend!

Spoilers: I cannot stress enough how amazing this cast was. Of course, the movie had its flaws, with three of the main cast being portrayed by children, but it was still remarkable. The way Tom shows Lucas’s character development was remarkably done, and every time Lucas breaks or begins to scream, you’re reminded how young these children are. Ewan McGregor, as always, played his role to the best of his ability, and as he showed a mourning dad desperate for information on his family, you could feel your heart break with him. Naomi Watts, of course, was phenomenal. Just an all around remarkable film, and one that really showcased some of Tom’s strong suits. Quite graphic throughout, but if you have the stomach, I highly recommend taking the time to watch young Tom act his heart out in crisis.

Moments (short film, 2013)

mmkay so this is just a short youtube film, but it’s pretty great. It has Tom doing a voiceover with a montage of a boy and girl in a relationship. Heartbreaking, sharply done, and quick, it’s worth the four minutes of your time.

Locke (2013)

This one’s about a dad on a car ride and how his life kind of falls apart over the course of a few phone calls. Though Tom has a very small part in this film (it’s just his voice for like five minutes, max) he does it well. You understand the relationship between he and his father, and he sounds just a like a teenage kid waiting to watch a match on tv would. The whole film isn’t really necessary if you’re just watching for Tom, but it’s actually really remarkable. Would recommend, just be aware this isn’t a “Tom” movie.

How I Live Now (2013)

ALRIGHT, BUCKOS, STRAP IN! I have my fair share of complaints with this movie, but Tom’s character (Isaac) is NOT ONE OF THEM! Basic plot: an edgy™ American girl comes to stay with her cousins in England, and WWIII breaks out and they get separated and she’s trying to find them. It’s enjoyable, Saoirse Ronan does a great job playing her character, and I’m glad I actually watched it.

Spoilers: She falls in love with her eldest cousin, and that’s a main instigator of the plot. GROSS. But it’s her middle cousin, Isaac, that really made this movie tolerable. Tom plays a 14-year-old kid that really just wanted his cousin to enjoy her stay without letting her walk all over him. He and Daisy exchange banter, and he never lets her negativity get to him. For the first half an hour, he spends all his screen time trying to make light of situations and caring for his family. Then, they kill him off after seeing nothing of him for 40+ minutes. NOT. COOL. Daisy tenderly buries his glasses after finding his dead body, but they don’t really mention him again until the little sister is like “lmao where’s isaac???” He deserved far better. I will probably watch this movie again, but it really goes downhill when you take his positivity and warmth from it.

Tweet (short film, 2015)

Another short youtube film. This one stars Tom’s youngest brother, and is very witty and cute. You get about thirty seconds (max) of Tom onscreen, but he actually directed this! V v adorable, I recommend those two minutes of cuteness.

In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

Ahhh, the origination of the iconic Quackson meme. Won’t lie, I was a bit disappointed by this one. The movie is based off a book that is telling the “true story” that inspired Herman Meville to write Moby Dick. Tom plays the young version of the sole survivor of the ship Essex that was attacked by a white wale and marooned for months. A rowdy period piece full of action and high tensions, it’s a good popcorn movie.

Spoilers: The pacing was really weird. They spend the first hour of the movie sailing around on a nice boat, hunting whales, and bullying the new kid (Tom). The captain is jealous of the first mate so he makes dumb choices. Tom’s character (Thomas Nickerson) thinks the first mate is the coolest guy ever. And suddenly!! WHALES. FIRE. TENSIONS. There’s literally like fifteen minutes of whale smashing, half an hour of floating around and starving and cannibalism, and the last fifteen minutes are split between angsty old Nickerson and everyone making it home fine. The idea was interesting, and the cast did wonderfully, it just felt like the production was a bit rushed. Would still recommend!

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

I’m not really gonna review this, we probably have all seen this. I just wanted to put it here so it’s all his films. Tom’s great. The ideal Peter. A quality beeb. I’m so sorry that I said beeb. WOW I LOVE THIS SPIDEY!

Edge of Winter (2016)

Okay!! I was really excited to see this one, and it was perfectly mediocre. A quick summary: Bradley (Tom) and his little brother are left with their dad for a week or whatever. Their dad finds out that their new step-dad is planning on moving the family and freaks out. Horror movie cliches ensue. An interesting concept with a pretty decent cast, but lacking in certain areas. A mellow horror, much more of a thriller.

Spoilers: Tbh Luc and Richard felt a bit flung in, and there was a lot of unrealistic things. Like... Brad drives a car for like a mile one time and then at the end he’s fine driving miles and miles to get away. Also what happened to their dad?? It’s never discussed at the end. And ik this is about Tom (don’t get me wrong, he was great) but can we discuss the little brother??? Honestly the two brothers pretty much carried the film and they did amazingly! If it had the proper score, I feel it would have boosted the film’s quality tenfold. Altogether, an enjoyable movie to watch when you want something freaky, but not too bad.

The Lost City of Z (2016)

Quite possibly my least favorite movie on this list, but that might just be me. Percy Fawcett is an explorer that becomes obsessed with his search for the lost city he calls “z” in the amazon forest. Despite ridicule from his superiors, he dedicates his life to it. His family feels he has abandoned them, but still support him. It’s literally 2 hours and 20 minutes of this dude looking for native inhabitants of “amazonia.” There are long, sophisticated scenes of dialogue. This is a movie you need to pay close attention to in order to capture completely. 

Spoilers: It’s probably bc I was watching the movie for Tom, but I was disappointed. We get maybe 20 minutes of Tom, the majority of that just squeezed into the end. Tom’s character development felt rushed and flimsy. Robert Pattinson’s character was great, and honestly, why did we not get more development from him??? It was a lot of dialogue with not a lot of movement. Probably like a 5 or 6 out of 10. Just a bit of a mess.. The best part was probably what an early feminist his wife was.

Pilgrimage (2017)

okay so this movie isn’t technically out yet but it’s online illegally (ssssh.....) and I really wanted to see it. I was prepared to dislike it bc people kept talking about how dark it was, but it was actually very enjoyable. Definitely gory and v intense, but all the same, a good story. Possibly the best showcase of Tom’s talent yet (other than hoco obs). Be warned: it can be very hard to watch at times, but stays true to its story.

Spoilers: ok so tbh sometimes it felt like the movie couldn’t decide who it wanted its main character to be. We see Mr. French Richard Armitage Princey a lot, and the herbalist, and the French Priest dude, and definitely a lot of The Novice (Tom), but it wasn’t until the end when it becomes clear that we were watching through the eyes of the Novice. Where Edge of Winter’s big climax failed to feel high-stakes when it was, Pilgrimage does the opposite. During the final scene, I went “oh, yeah, this is the climax!” and it felt v high stakes. Definitely dark and gory and intense, but an intriguing and fascinating film to watch if you have the time.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Wowowowow i love tom and he’s so good and i can’t wait to see more spidey YEET!!!

thank you for reading, let me know if this helped, and i will probably continue to add to this as more of his movies come out :)))