#like yeah he's Death™ but he's also just a guy

[cursedzucchini]

Prompt/idea #6

Y'all what if when Danny's not feeling that good (is very injured/didn't eat anything/sleep deprived) he instead of fainting just... Turns into his 14 yo self.

That wasn't such a problem at the begginjng bc he was short king and well, he didn't change that much.

But now? When he's in college (basically always on the verge of fainting from exhaustion/hunger/dehydration/whatever unholy thing he consumed to stay awake and functioning) in Gotham? When he's 24, and yeah, maybe he didn't grow that much in height, but he lost the baby fat. His face didn't look so hopeful, and innocent and he gained quite few scars.

So yeah, changing into his 14yo self wasn't the greatest by itself. But add the trauma Danny has when looking at himself in the mirror, and overall being in the wrong body (thinking about what younger him didn't know, like u can add angst Abt canon stuff, like Vlad was a fucking creep, pariah dark, or add vivisection and Dani dying or whatever).

So Danny was being extra careful about taking care of himself (he thought, like a liar). And maybe that day he forgot breakfast, lost his pocket money, his card declined, he couldn't sleep because of reccuring nightmares and the only edible (that's questionable tho) thing in his bag was some somehow wrong ectoplasm he stole from some guy few weeks ago (and Danny needed to ask the him where tf did he manage to find such a disgusting ecto. Like not even his parents manage to fuck it up that badly).

So when on his way home, some fucking asshole jumped him, of course he was going to freak the fuck out.

...if knocking the guy out counts as freaking out. And showing some of his more ghostly features out (read show the asshole the indescribable horrors of balancing life and death for eternity and no time at all).

And that somehow tipped Danny over the top. So now he's sitting there, in his now way too big clothes next to the knocked out (hopefully) clown, drawing dumb pictures on his face, waiting for Jazz to pick him up and maybe help him dispose of the body.

(bonus points if the batfam saw this go down and are now so fucking confused how tf did some twink™ knocked out the fucking joker in one punch, and than transformed into a fuckibg child????? B, no, put the adoption papers down-!)

(bonus bonus points if 14 yo Danny looks exactly like 14yo Jason, and they (especially Jason) just see young Jason sitting next to dead? Joker w a crowbar, drawing dicks on his face)

(also the reason why Danny doesn't know who joker is, is bc every time someone started talking Abt joker or the clown he assumed he was something like batman, and wasn't interested in learning anything Abt anything clown themed)

[shorthaltsjester]

sometimes people will say “going dark” and then what they’re actually talking about is just people no longer presenting a carefully constructed version of their emotions and experiences.

like. emotional turmoil is not the same as darkness. laudna in this Fictional Universe that has tangibly different stakes wrt to death and killing than our own, is at best like . morally neutral for what she just did like. man has been secretly trying to kill you, and then just tried to do so again, killing him back is a fair choice. and even if i was someone who is excited by delilah’s inability to escape from the narrative, this shit isn’t about delilah. laudna made a choice. if delilah is back or whatever it’s a choice that laudna made because something in that grants her more control than her existing conditions did. this isn’t some Delilah Takes Over, it’s Laudna Expressly Makes The Choice To Call Forth Something within Herself to remedy the lack of control that’s been thrust upon her. if y’all want to Continue to limit Laudna’s agency (as the cr fandom is so, so want to do when a female character makes a choice that isn’t Good according to some weird system of virtue ethics) go ahead.

likewise with orym. little guy is not “going dark” because he has finally made direct action about his emotional turmoil in dealing with a situation which has similarly left him without control and has also placed him in a position where his stalwart conviction towards protecting and honouring those he loves and has lost alike is constantly met with other people he cares for going well.. what if they had a point/we are killing other peoples loved ones/etc. which like . yeah that might be frustrating and in fact might lead him to go, actually, i can’t afford to try and maintain some abject morality where I carry a locket that will literally only provide guilt. orym is completely committed to his beliefs, the locket and what it represents has never been a limit to what he will do, only a reminder of the consequences of what he might cause in those actions. but they Are at war and orym has a billion things on his plate. he can put down the locket. especially when bor’dor is the explicit manifestation of that locket’s symbolism. the subtext rapidly became the text and orym doesn’t need a reminder. it’s there in the fact that team issylra is walking away with two friends, not three.

these are character who have at every turn denied their own emotions in various forms while still being acutely aware of what they deny, whether that awareness was/is fully realized or not. many of laudna’s early convos with ashton show us that there is some awareness to the lighthearted spooky goth girl and how that persona fades when she thinks too much about what has led her and maintained that reality. likewise the entirety of orym’s story thus far is defined by his grief in a very literal sense, it Has extended from that grief to also the commitment he had to the purpose of figuring out the assassination attempt on keyleth but as we have seen, that purpose has fallen apart. paired with the quasi-reopening of his grief that was getting to see will again only to have to turn away, i don’t think there’s a lack of awareness in orym of how much he hurts. but between his actions and 4SD, that hurt tends to get buried under guilt or Responsibility.

and now, finally, both of them have admitted to that Not in the safety of small introspection or one-on-one conversations but with actions that they cannot shy away from or deny. laudna killed bor’dor and orym encouraged her to. and it Is a complex situation but truly I don’t really think it’s a “going dark” one. because they’re not giving into some overhanging Darkness of Morality™, they’re admitting that they are hurt and have long been hurting.

or, y’know, tldr for those who continue to deny laudna and orym agency or fully villainise them for whatever weird reasons . you could listen to laudna and ashton’s conversation that pretty much lays it out explicitly. laudna claims she’s weak for having chosen to kill bor’dor. ashton denies that and affirms instead that, no, she’s hurt.

[polaritiesoop]

Gem and Lizzie would make for fun enemies as I think they would make great for a duo. Is it just me? Like better if it's one sided rivalry like with Joel and Scott. Lizzie is confused, Gem is bloodthirsty. Must be just me and my pirate concept with pirate captain Gem and her beef with the ocean and Lizzie as the Ocean Queen.

lemme rant about my concept

Gem is cursed by some ancient entity to shift into an ocean siren hit with the urge to eat people and longing to breathe underwater, she hates it because her siren features are slowly becoming permanent almost replacing her hybrid features of being a deer. Which she is devastated of as she is the sole survivor of her village kind. At some point she and her crew rescued Joel from captivity as he was a prince of a kingdom in the middle of a war. And Joel has the attention of Ocean Queen Lizzie, straight up being courted by her and he has an embarrassing crush on her yet is oblivious. When Gem realizes Joel is connected with her, she keeps Joel captive and demands Lizzie to cure her curse. Lizzie, who was not the one to cast the curse nor is she powerful enough to undo a curse, is confused on why Gem is being so hostile and keeping her from seeing Joel. They would have squabbles in the ocean and Lizzie is just half confused and half annoyed that Gem keeps fighting her. Plus she's embarrassed because Gem wins nearly all the time. Of course it eventually develops into friendship through the different misadventures of Gem and her crew.... And Lizzie is there on the ocean cuz she can't really stay much on land and Gem would aim for her head if she ever tries to take a step on their ship. she really wants to join the crew but Gem keeps refusing. Joel feels like Gem is acting like a parent keeping him away from Lizzie, Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet style of goofy lovestory.

Gem's crew consist most of the magical mt. cast that might be also cursed like Gem in diff. ways and so each of them have their own stories. Scar is a wanted criminal and vex hybrid and might/might've not stolen an important artifact from the last cannibal cult he was a part of (triple whammy) and might/might not be threatened every time with death because he got the attention of an ancient entity, I wonder why? Grian is a runaway prince that teenaged Gem had the unfortunate time with when he sneaked into the pirate ship of another crew Gem was once a cabin girl for. Now he is in Gem's crew disguised as a middle aged fisherman that contributes jack shit on the crew, but can't be kicked out cause he's a great fighter and the Snail Colony both cursed Gem and Grian as their servants and they are inseparable by contract. Skizz was supposed to assassinate Joel, but had grown fond of the man while taking on the role as his personal knight, and so was protecting him all the time when Prince Joel was kidnapped and the two of them formed a deeper friendship when they were kept captive . Skizz is definitely an ancient entity that is not aware he is one, has an awful amnesia of his divinity, and will start to remember while having a second go at puberty in the form of wings. Many Many sprouting wings. Impulse has a touch with death, he does not know why but he is happy to see his bestfriend Skizz again! He is plagued by the ghosts that start to randomly haunt their ship but he knows it's because of Scar...because they keep telling him to kill Scar. Oh, and Impulse encounters ghostly Joel clones pretending to be Joel of a variety of killing moods, for whatever reason they are targeting Skizz. Something is not right with Joel.

What about Mumbo? uhhhhh Normal Guy™. Genuinely loves to tend to the ship be it redstone and building. Experiences all the horrors of his friends' curses first hand. Does help them and somehow always at the scene of the crime but also at the resolution of said crime. It's almost suspicious how he keeps surviving....

Yeah, so pirates, lotsa ancient entities and curses and cults and crazy island colonies with more curses. but most importantly. snails. and the moon might start cash landing on earth because for some reason the moon goddess (Pearl duh) is now on earth and her powers are gone and Gem needs to help her. Somehow.

[ceilingfan5]

thankpologies

(another @taznovembercelebration delight, for sick)

“I can do it,” Kravitz murmbles hoarsely from under about fifteen blankets. He stares blankly up at the dark ceiling. Taako wants to put him in his pocket and he isn’t even wearing pants yet. 

“Yeah?” Taako shuts off their fourth alarm. And the fifth one, you know, preemptively. “You sure there, bud?”

“I can do it,” he insists, like he’s trying to convince himself, too. “I’m……………………….good.”

“You’re good?” Taako’s trying not to laugh, he promises. Kravitz looks miserable. He looks like a wet sack of marbles left behind in a dead mall. What were those marbles for? Why are they wet? Is someone going to miss the marbles? Who can say. But they’re going in Taako’s pocket. 

“Sooooo good.” Kravitz tries to sit up, fails, and squinches his eyes shut, groaning. “I’m, good. I’m good. I’m good I’m good I’m good. I can do it.” 

“What if,” Taako says, “Hear me out.” 

“I’m not staying h— ome.” Kravitz swallows, once, twice, a third time, none of them looking less unpleasant. “Home,” he corrects. “No way. Got. Too much work to day. Do.”

“Hear me out though,” Taako says. “Perhaps, correct me if I’m wrong, the county coroner should maybe not look like a zombie.”

“I d- doh- hhh. Zombie.” Kravitz tries to sit up properly, and it makes Taako wince just to watch him. He unwraps another single cracker from the Freshstack ™ they were working through at two in the morning, and hands it to him. Kravitz nibbles on it like the world’s most pathetic mouse. Like if a mouse was divorced, and crying a little, and wet, like a sack of marbles. He gets about a third of the way through this monumental obstacle and then lets his hand flop down, and Taako is very normal and makes no crumb comments, because his boy is ailin’. 

Ooooh, is he ailin’. So ailin’ he’s from another planet. 

“Let’s write your boss an email, and then tuck you back in, buster.”

“Noooooo,” Kravitz whines. 

“My guy, my handsome criminal empire cohost, you get that you are making Taako be the voice of reason, yeah?”

Kravitz considers this. 

“Haven’t barfed yet,” he says, petulantly. 

“Sit up and put on your tie,” Taako challenges. 

There’s a long beat. 

“No?”

“That’s what I thought, asshole.” Taako reaches over and squeezes Kravitz’s hand with affection. He hands him his phone. “Let’s just, be brief. Dear boss, can’t come in today, so sorry. Love you, bye.” 

Kravitz drops his phone on his face. 

“Fuck,” he says, delayed. Taako covers a snort. Poor beast. He takes the phone and can’t cover a second one. “Oh, buddy.”

“Yeah?” Kravitz blinks, and rubs his general face zone. 

“Your beautiful schnozz hit send on this masterpiece?” Taako shows him, but not until after taking a screenshot and sending it to himself, for posterity and also social media crimes. 

To: queenra@nwcountyfr.fakegov

Subject: ow

DEAR HELLO Cannot’nt come to death today, I am maybe am not well enough to help bodies thankpologies K

–sent from my iPhone

“What’s wrong with it?” Kravitz says, grimacing. 

“Yeah, you’re not goin’ fuckin’ anywhere, beloved,” Taako decides. He hands him his damaged little sadboy cracker and kisses his forehead and tucks him in, and starts doing the Get Ready Shimmy. “I’ll be checking in on you on my lunch hour, unless you think I need to call in too, and take your sorrowful mouse ass to the hopsicle.” 

“Probaly not,” Kravitz cannot manage a whole lot of conviction. He nibbles the cracker. Wetly. “I’ll…watch the price is right?”

“You’ll sleep.”

“I’ll sleep,” Kravitz confirms, snuggling down, forgetting about the last third of the cracker right then and there. Given permission to burrow back into his pathetical little mousehole, his whole body relaxes, and somehow he manages to look even greyer. “I’ll sleep so many.” 

“So many.” Taako pats something in the vicinity of his shoulder. “Poor bastard. If you get me sick, I am going to kill you.”

“No promises,” Kravitz sighs, almost immediately dozing right back off. 

Shame Taako loves him so much. 

[id: a space themed game board with 15 spaces and a cat, fish, and "good worker" sticker on 1, 2, and 3 respectively]

[biggie-chcese]

rain code age headcanons because i have literally only ever been choosing ages based on what's funniest but now i wanna cast away my grand layers of irony and be genuine for a moment. also. this goes pretty in depth so be prepped for the long haul when you click read more lmao.

spoilers for the whole game below and it's because of one specific character iykyk

Yakou - this man has the soul of a guy in his late 40s going through what would be his midlife crisis if not for the fact that he's fully aware he passed the midpoint years ago. but that soul is trapped in the body of a guy who doesnt look a day older than 28. what moisturizer does he use? i doubt he even uses anything other than that 13 in 1 shampoo. anyway, i think he's 32.

Halara - 26. nothing really to justify this other than they've got that mid 20s swag but 25 didn't feel right. adult enough to be as competent as they are yet young enough to look like that. moving on.

Desuhiko - 19. i think he's the youngest of the NDA because. well. idk man have you read his dialogue? he's got a whole lot of growing to do and is still very lost on his direction in life. he's giving 'bitch fresh outta high school (or in this case, detective training) and relishing in his freshly obtained freedom."

Vivia - 28? yeah i got nothing for this i am going purely on vibes here. 28 just feels right.

Fubuki - 23. she's clearly still a bit young but is also clearly a grown ass adult who wasn't raised right so i think this makes for a happy medium, especially if she's already been on some worldwide adventures n shit before the game. works out quite swimmingly methinks.

Kurumi - 18. for my personal comfort bc we'll get to yuma later but im not gonna sit here and ignore the way the game constantly grovels at the audience's feet to ship them so id rather she not be any younger than this. anyway, more about her: she tends to hold her own as an informant with more competence, maturity, and effecience than most of the NDA. but she also has a pretty childish black and white view on things, like believing her beloved detectives are always right (girl if you were real you would be ENTRENCHED in stan culture oml do NOT get into minecraft youtubers) but i've... seen 18 year olds on the internet that are exactly the same so whatever

Aetheria girls - putting them all at 17-18 because, based on honorifics, they are treated as upperclassmen by their peers in the Japanese dub. i think waruna is the youngest and kurane is the eldest.

Yomi - 25. he has that vibe. old enough to be taken seriously as an adult but young enough to act like That™. yknow?

Martina - 32. she's giving older woman sexy librarian vibes and generally carries herself with a certain level of poise and maturity but is also a freak in a way that can best be explained by being a woman in her 30s. not elaborating on this

Swank - 41. to me he's like those awful surly businessmen who go to cabaret clubs to drink and smoke their office job woes away and cheat on their wives. but he also has extreme mafia boss swag about it so i kinda love him for that. dunno what this has to do with age tho. moving on.

Seth - 22 because he's giving youngest brother. i think he's the youngest of the peacekeepers in general. guillaume definitely bullies him about this.

Dominic - 34. bro is built like a jojo character what else do you want me to say. he's still got that youthfulness about him that makes me think he's still not going through his midlife crisis, so i wouldn't place him any older

Guillaume - 23. guillaume is so girlypop manic pixie dream girl core that she's definitely got the energy of someone who is young but also strikes the balance of being someone who has a job and a mortgage. dunno how she does it. id like to think she isnt even much older than seth but still bullies him for being the baby of the peacekeepers. do u understand my vision. please. they have so much annoying coworker potential.

shinigami - idk like 1000. she's a death god who cares.

yuma - okay. yeah. look i dont give a singular fuck about age discourse- headcanon whatever you want- but from looking at canon material i genuinely think that he could not possibly be any younger than 21. 20 if we wanna push it. yes, i know he looks young. i have eyes. but also, im in my 20s and the most common thing people tell me when i reveal my age is "oh, i thought you were 15." one time a person asked me if i was 12. at my job. that i was actively working at. i was 20. adults can look young, and contrary to the classic 1000 year old loli dragon trope he doesnt act overtly childish. he acts like a normal fuckin guy. yes he cries but like. you wouldn't in his position? bro speedruns lifelong trauma so skillfully that he's backwards long jumping into alternate universes where everything is somehow worse. i'd be freaked out if he didn't cry. also im aware that the child prodigy detective trope is a thing and that kodaka has written that before but... he was number one three years ago. and the training takes two years. which means, if he is a minor in the game's present day, he started working at the WDO at 12 and became number one at 14... at the oldest. have you ever met a 14 year old? forgive me for not suspending my disbelief here. and really the kicker for me is that yuma has a line where he says he's not sure if he's drinking age (which would be 20 in japan), but you know who would be sure? you know who knows yuma's age better than yuma?

makoto kagutsuchi - this megacorporation CEO has a fully stocked minibar installed in his penthouse. <- sentence i cannot bring myself to believe if it's about a child. since i also cant picture him becoming CEO at age 14 without yomi at least once angrily pointing that out (he only ever mentions that makoto is an outsider, or has his head in the clouds), id like to think both him and yuma, at their youngest, earned their top spots at their respective organizations at 18. it keeps their gifted kid syndrome and young prodigy-ness without making things comically ridiculous or uncomfortable for the sheer amount of sexual situations yuma gets put into.

anyway that's my silly little ramble on age headcanons. this was actually really fun to think about. shoutout to kodaka for leaving out the ages. funniest choice he could've made

[youreorangeyoumoron]

✨ WIP Wednesday ✨

I was tagged by @allatariel last week! thank you :)

So I have a couple Margo x Sergei WIPs in store. None of them are particularly polished, though there's always the Brazil one but atm I find it so cringe that I can't bear to look at it.

But! I chose a few paragraphs from this AU that I've been cooking up (letting it stew would be more accurate) about Margo and Sergei babysitting baby Javi.

Now Javi was born in 1988, 89, give or take, which places this fic after Margo and Sergei discuss sushi, and before Sergei successfully goes for the Hand Touch ™. I was curious to write a Margo who's gained a lot of confidence since S2 but still remains a little awkward at times, there's potential for a lot of fun, and for her to reflect on her relationship with Sergei with her newfound confidence. Just what exactly happens in those twelve months in between elevator rides that makes her ready to accept more intimacy with him? Let's rotate her thought process for a bit.

(his divorce helps, lbr, but I'm looking for her "...oh". moment. Which knowing her may take several moments and a severe barrelling through her mental defenses but that's what fanfic is for)

Javi stared intently at the new guy, clenching Margo’s jacket in his little fist. Sergei removed his own jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. His tie came off next, leaving him in his white shirt. He pointed at Javi’s fist. “It’s a very nice jacket. Kids are messy.” Margo glanced down at the kid, saw the death grip he had on her lapel – and a small drool stain from earlier. She sighed. It was a very nice jacket. “Yeah, I should change, I brought a change of clothes. Can you…” She handed Javi to Sergei with fumbling gestures; he pulled the kid into a much more assured embrace, which reassured her. She slowly backtracked into the hallway. Suddenly held by unfamiliar arms, Javi began to whine. Margo winced, gestured towards the kid. “Or he could go on his playmat. Do you want me to…” “No, no, it’s alright.” Sergei began to rock Javi, with a lot more ease than she had. His entire attention was captivated by the baby in his arms. As the whines turned into full-blown cries, Sergei caught the pacifier just in time and set it on the side table. “It’s okay, Tia Margo will be in the next room for a few minutes,” he told Javi in a singsong voice that she could never muster. It shouldn’t surprise her. After all, he was the man who had her playing pretend with him in the Apollo-Soyuz docking module prototype. (For a while this experience had embarrassed her; as of late it had become a fond memory.) Seemed like he had everything under control, Margo mused as she picked up her overnight bag and escaped to Aleida’s room, where she changed out of her work clothes and into the NASA-branded T-shirt and sweatpants that she kept in her office just in case. She had made the right choice calling him over; she loved Javi, but she could use his expertise. When she made her way back to the living room, she was surprised to hear, well… nothing. She found them settled on the couch, Javi held in Sergei’s arms, clutching his bunny with one hand and intently exploring Sergei’s beard with the other. She took a minute to bask in the curious sight of Sergei sharing a special moment with an infant, smiling, sleeves rolled up, slightly dishevelled. Seeing him outside of engineering and in a domestic setting was strange, but also interesting; it was a whole other side of him, that she would otherwise have never gotten to witness. For a reason she couldn’t explain, she found herself unable to look away. Sergei eventually noticed her, and grinned up at her. “He likes the beard.” She nodded. “Me, too.” The phone ringing in the kitchen gave her the perfect opportunity to flee after this slightly too spontaneous compliment. Christ. What was she thinking?

I wish to tag @sparkleplatypuswriter @gabolange @tiltedsyllogism @gordopickett @katesofheaven @caffeinatedcrab

and anybody who would like to do it (if you're reading this but you don't watch FAM it includes you! Join the fun!) (if you do watch FAM consider yourself tagged to the moon and BACK)

[shera-dnd]

Once again trying to talk about Themes™ and probably just saying the obvious again BUT

Baldur's Gate 3 is a game about freedom of choice, both mechanically and thematically

Not in the "Your choices matter! (not really)" way most game market themselves on

But in a "The fact you can choose matters" way that is much spicier.

Like that's literally the core driving point of the plot. You shouldn't be able to choose, you shouldn't be free, but you are and now it's up to you to fight to maintain that freedom, and decide for yourself what to do with it

(funnily enough this is also why this game doesn't hit my trigger, because all the mind control is completely opt in)

And every single companion reinforces that in one way or another.

Gale freeing himself from his past and choosing who he wants to be now, without Mystra.

Astarion killing Cazador and stopping generations of abuse in their vampiric line

Karlach escaping Zariel and choosing to make the most of the life she still has

Wyll breaking his contract with Mizora so he can choose for himself what he fights for

Lae'zel and Shadowheart both unlearning years of indoctrination at the hands of their messed up cults

And if you're playing Dark Urge you get to reinforce this again with your conflict about trying to determine for yourself who you want to be, when every fiber of your being demands that you be a monster

It's not even just the main characters. Like how often do you get sent on quests to free people who have been imprisoned or enslaved.

Volo, Halsin, the deep gnomes, the tieflings, Aylin, Volo again, Minsc, Orpheus, even Hope itself

Hell, one of the main bad guys is the chosen champion of the God of Tyranny and is using a magical mind control mcguffin to control a giant magical mind control GIGA BRAIN!

I guess that's why it feels so obvious. Every last bit of this game is used to forward this theme of freedom vs control, but it's this consistent reinforcement that makes it so good for me

And then of course this all comes to a grand conclusion towards the ending. My own feelings about the ending's execution and the parts I felt were a bit... lackluster, can wait for a different day

But thematically speaking they managed to end with a real bang, and it's all thanks to the narration

Because whatever decision you make, that woman sells it. No matter what you want your ending to be, she will fucking deliver it in just as triumphant a way as any other

BG3 doesn't want you to leave the game thinking "did I make the right choice?" it wants you to feel like whatever you choose WAS the right choice for you

I literally had my character turn into a squid and them kill themself and she still managed to make that a glorious moment to finalize my story on.

"After so many deaths in the name of your father, this one is just for you"

(god so many lines from the durge playthrough have my brain in a vice grip)

And speaking of daddy dearest, the only endings that come across as being bad, are the ones where you surrender your freedom.

When you surrender to the Absolute, when you do as Bhaal commands you, when you give the crown to Raphael

The entire game is one giant conflict between your freedom to self determine vs more powerful beings and their drive to take absolute control

And so the only way for your story to end "badly" is if you surrender to those powers and give up

...so yeah... that's all I got

Baldur's Gate 3 is a good game

Could use some work here and there, and my nitpicks could make their own needlessly long post, but it's still really good

Go play it

[princess-of-the-corner]

Huh, you raise an interesting point regarding Colt, I tend to see him written as just being like tat and it is possible. But I actually think it'd be more interesting if he was a fairly normal (By the standards of is background) guy who became abusive in response to the realization he was dying because of the magic trinket he used to make him kid.

This would also make it smoother for Amelie to have not noticed as his behaviors would be explicitly rooted in the trinket and his upcoming death as opposed to rooted in a longstanding ideology. Plus, for all tat he can be sneaky Felix isn't subtle, I don't think he'd be able to obscure that he hated and feared his dad if he had ALWAYS hated and feared him, nor would he be as fond of his mother as he is if it was a longstanding thing she was unaware of.

More to the point, I like it because I find way too many people treat being an abuser as an inherent part to a person. Its basically the same as "born evil"; people don't want to consider that they or someone they love could be an abuser or could become one. There has to be something about the people who act like that, when in reality no, anyone can, which is actually much more frightening.

Historical aside:

After WW2 an American scientist did an experiment to determine if there was something innate to Germans that would make them willing to do such evils ad the Holocaust.

He started his experiment by getting a bunch of upstanding, regular Americans together under the pretense of a scientific experiment to help improve/save the world.

He had a military man there to assure people it was all legit, and all they needed do was press this button. On the other side of a screen an actor would seem to be tortured and eventually flatline.

His theory was that no normal, good person would continue to knowingly hurt someone just because they were told to.

Suffice to say by the time he was done with the Americans the 'death' rate was so high, that he determined it wasn't worth doin the experiment on Germans. If people can be convinced they were doing it for the right reasons and an authority figure told them it was good and necessary, he found most people would end up killing.

Oh yeah it's!

While there's some people out there that are just Assholes™, a lot of people are bad because of circumstances. It doesn't excuse it, of course. But to say that someone who is currently 'bad' has always been bad and will never be able to improve is..... yikes. Not to mention the crossover of 'good' and 'bad' in that people assume that someone abusive can't also be loving or do genuinely good things, which they totally can! Love and good deeds don't erase the abuse of course, but they're not mutually exclusive because people are complicated.

And we have no idea what kind of person Colt was.

Sure. Maybe Colt was abusive anyway. Maybe he already was abusive before the Peacock. Maybe he was already on the edge and looking for an 'excuse' and if it wasn't this then it'd be something else.

But maybe he was chill and only became abusive after getting tricked by his brother-in-law into doing something that would slowly kill him, and getting frustrated by slowly encroaching disability that came with it and facing his own death sentence. Like that's a lot to deal with and yeah someone usually okay may snap and take it out on the person he can.

[sixstepsaway]

i've had some thoughts bouncing around for a while about ofmd s2, and in light of the news, i'm going to brain dump some of them. if you don't feel like listening to me complain about HBO and would rather just go cry about OFMD not getting season 3, that's chill, go ahead, no hard feelings

so.

season 1 was absolutely the definition of lightning in a bottle. it had great acting, great writing, gorgeous set and costume design, it was great, and not only that but it was unabashedly queer

jim had a whole episode dedicated to "actually i'm not a woman i'm just jim" and then everyone - even the bad guys, even the antagonists, even their nun nana, everyone - referred to them as they/them after that, no questions asked

the main character went through an arc that was basically figuring out his sexuality and going "oh shit, i love a man" on a show that was not directly advertised as "OUR QUEER MEANS DEATH" like a, y'know, Queer Show would be

and stede and ed's romance felt like it was important. It felt like the pirates of it all was mostly incidental, background, filler, just fun to pad out the situation and give them things to be challenged by (the badmintons!) while also being fun on its own. it's the kind of show where if you pulled all the characters out and slapped them into a whole other situation like space agents or time travellers or everyone lives together in a loft runs a bakery... it'd still work. sure, the badmintons would be less murderous and run a competing bakery or something, but it'd still work, because the focus was on the characters, and on the romance between stede and ed

the first three episodes of season 3 felt that way too. the love between stede and ed was paramount and if you swapped to a mafia au or a bakery au it'd still work (with some gentle adjustments for ed's Behavior™ to be fair)

but.

season 1, they kept saying it was a rom com, and it felt like one. it was just a rom com that was set at sea! how fun!

now, rom coms have tropes. they have genre-specific things that you kind of expect from, well, a rom com. you expect mess. you expect things like ed fucking off with jack because he doesn't feel good enough

(i've recently been rewatching new girl and although some of the humor makes me cringe, it's still a great show, and one of the main things about it is that everyone is messy. no matter how much schmitt loves cece, he's going to make mistakes. no matter how obviously nick and jess are going to end up together and belong together, they're going to sleep with the wrong people, make mistakes, break up etc. it's as much a rom com as ofmd.

one of the things that makes new girl so good and makes me love the main couples so much is how hard they work to be together, how they fight adversity and the mess of their own flaws and toxicity and still get together because they love each other most, in the end)

i remember in s1 thinking how if stede had been a woman, jack would have been too, and ed would've had at least one romantic/sexual scene with jack when he ran away with him

but i also remember thinking, "yeah, but the show hadn't explicitly done the his name is ed reveal and the kiss on the beach yet, and the reveal hits so hard, it makes sense not to do that earlier", and tbh i stand by that

which brings me to s2, after the first three eps, where they tried to go back to rom com and it just felt... forced.

rom coms usually have adversity. they have other characters that directly and truly threaten the main pairing by being interesting to those characters! no matter how you feel about izzy, he was framed as a love interest or as an ex that was still complicated, but the show very much tiptoed around that

does "i have love for you" and "i loved you best i could" make sense for the characters? yeah.

do i feel like if ed was a woman, she and izzy would've had a messy rebound relationship for stede to have to contend with, for the two of them to come out the other side of wanting each other from? yeah.

ofmd s1 felt unabashedly queer. s2 felt like they didn't want to be too gay.

they put olu with a Woman™, they put jim with a woman almost like it was less queer and more acceptable this way than queering olu, they completely waved off olu and jim's relationship and dropped any concept of polyamory because that would've made it even queerer, not less queer

(i'm using queer here as a definition more of breaking boundaries and being outside of the norm to the extent it makes cishets deeply uncomfortable and the queer in question aren't conforming to society's standards. and this reading of s2 (and s1) is entirely subjective, it's just what's been bubbling here for me)

pete and lucius went from "we don't own each other" to marriage, with no footnotes of what marriage meant to them specifically, whether they were, in fact, conforming with the 'norm' of marriage (exclusivity, labels, definitions etc) or whether they were still chill about these things or whether this now meant no more penis drawings

the queerest episode was probably the party episode (which was so good), but even that was especially queer because some cast members fought to make it so (con wanting izzy's drag to be beautiful not funny has HAUNTED ME, because that means it was originally supposed to be played for laughs!!) not because it was that way naturally

the fact i read somewhere that the party and the drag was originally lupete's wedding makes so much more sense to me because yeah, they WOULD have a wedding like that, but instead they got a lame final episode wedding because it would have been way too queer to do it at calypso's birthday with drag and queer joy everywhere

it also would have been more realistic to the lucius and pete we got in season 1.

there were a lot of things in season 2 that felt... weird. we've talked about it. we have all talked about it.

the final episode, even outside of the thing i hated most, was just horribly written imo. there's big sweeping gestures and no kind of real emotional pay off for the main relationships (lupete included), and everything got tied with a neat little bow at the end

i remember when we were told s2 was 8 episodes and how much the budget had been chopped thinking, "ha, we're so not getting a season 3"

i remember when i realized how weirdly rewritten most of season 2 had been thinking, "yeah, there's not going to be a season 3"

i remember when bitching about ed's arc being totally truncated and handwaved thinking, "mm, we're not getting a season 3"

and i remember when the Revenge sailed off into the sunset with everyone but ed and stede on board thinking, "oh yeah, we're done."

just enough was left open that a season 3 could happen.

just enough was left open that if a miracle happened, there'd be something to do with season 3.

but i genuinely, 100%, hand on my heart, think djenks knew he wasn't getting a season 3

and don't get me wrong, i'm not absolving him of the poor writing choices he made in season 2, but i am saying it makes a lot more sense if you think of it from the perspective of corporate meddling and having everything taken away while he was actively trying to make season 2

we already know HBO cut the budget a ridiculous amount so they just had to make everything work with what they had. we already know HBO cut the episode number.

season 2 plays out like they prepped a good chunk of it, ready for 10 episodes, and then HBO cut the budget and cut the episodes

and so things had to be changed and chopped about. ed's arc got lots of screen time and focus for three episodes (before the cuts) and then things got quicker, and fast

characters were cut for time and for budget reasons.

and then i think towards the end of production and the end of writing, djenks learned the odds of season 3 were minimal at best, and he panicked

i think the original plan was probably for ed's arc to go for the majority of season 2. maybe a middle piece where he and stede tried but it still wasn't Right (last night was a mistake) because ed had so much to work on and so much to heal

i genuinely wonder if the finale was completely rewritten at the last minute because to me it makes way, way more sense from a narrative standpoint for things to have been more staggered out. let's consider ten episodes instead of 8:

episodes 1-5: same as they were when aired, including the gravy basket giving us set-up for what ed's dealing with internally, giving us something to latch onto and prepare for his redemption. NO KISS AT THE END OF EPISODE 5. episode 6: ed is still wearing the bell. he's sort of done his amends with lucius, but now he needs to do amends with the rest of the ship. stede is still learning his piratey ways, so there's hijinks in the background. jim and archie and olu try to decide what their relationship is after the garlic and all, and debate room arrangements. lucius and pete announce their engagement. stede and ed nearly kiss. episode 7: more ed redemption arc. he's still working at things, he's shying away from violence because violence is what took him down this dark path to begin with. maybe we get some discussion of his father. stede, blind to ed's flaws, insists he's nothing like his father! ed tries to make amends with izzy but somehow this is the hardest of all because he hurt him the most of all. izzy gets chance to apologize for what he now sees as his part in pushing ed down into the darkness (trying to drag blackbeard back) and izzy's apology makes ed feel worse somehow and gives him some absolution when he finally figures out how to return his own. ed kisses stede but says he wants to take it slow. episode 8: wedding episode!! calypso's birthday!! ed uses his loot to bankroll lupete's wedding. stede reacts with violence to ned and we know from everything before that ed is actively trying to distance himself from the violence of piracy because, yeah, of course he is. is it a good idea? nope. does it make sense to his character for him to still be putting a good chunk of the blame on piracy for his actions, rather than accepting the parts of his whole and learning how to regulate those parts healthily? yes. anyway, stede reacts to his own violence by clutching for ed, ed feels after like his boundaries were pushed. same as show. episode 9: ed is having a meltdown. he and izzy have started to heal, so izzy watching him stare at fishing boats and just chatting to him like nothing happened actually makes a lick of sense. lupete are on their honeymoon at jackie's. olu gets to hook back up with zheng and archie and jim want to go along because they're not super happy on the ship still because although ed is doing better, the past of what he does still hangs over everyone. olu, zheng, jim and archie do not discuss the poly of it all properly, and it's hilarious and a mess, and gives us something to look forward to handling in season 3. ed freaks out about stede being violent when he's the one thing he felt like wasn't violent (and thus safe for him to be with), and about taking it not at all slow, breaks things off and runs away. izzy gets stede to come back to the ship. stede gets into a fight with zheng, the bombs go off, whatever (not a fan of this for her sake but if it has to happen, it can happen) episode 10: ed is off fishing but it's not going well and he's pissing pop-pop off all the time because he's not good at fishing. stede and co are handling the ricky of it all. the episode is mostly the same at the start, but instead of ed immediately going "omg, i gotta save bae" he doesn't find out about the attack until right at the end of the episode. stede and co make it back to the revenge and escape safely, and when ed retrieves his leathers and returns he thinks they're dead! he threatens/tortures/whatever some english and they say no, stede escaped! they all escaped! the season ends with ed, all decked out in his leathers, with his sword, now in the position stede was last season: staring out over the water, planning to find the man he loves.

this sets season 3 up for ed to be on his own for a little while, for him to handle and figure out how to channel his violence into something 'good' (wanting to find his love, wanting to protect his crew etc).

maybe season 3 flashes back to baby!ed again and the fact his first act of violence against his father wasn't motivated by anger or spite, it was motivated by wanting to protect someone he loved: his mum.

then season 3 they find each other again, and maybe they meet in the moonlight for the parallel to hit even better, they finally get back together properly, for good, with maybe some comedic issues along the way, and ed finds his place in the world to be less "blackbeard, the terror of the seas" and more "ed protects those he loves."

i honestly think this is probably how the show was originally meant to go, or at least something close.

i think midway through season 2, djenks heard it was over and he (rightfully) panicked and threw together a finale that tied up as many loose ends as he could because he knew.

and i dont think there's anything that could've been done about it. i think it was dead in the water (no pun intended) the moment all the MAX/HBO/whatever reshuffles happened, I think it was too queer and I genuinely think executive meddling made a lot of the more queer elements go away, possibly right down to trying to wipe away the exes/love interests of it all with that whole father figure thing

and, again, i'm not absolving djenks of some of his more baffling writing decisions. he's a grown man and he makes his own choices. but i am saying i think it explains a LOT about why the finale we got is what we got, and i'm not sorry stede and ed ended the show together rather than apart or with their lives hanging in the balance or something

anyway these are just a bunch of thoughts i've been having, tied together by the cancellation.

[yuri-is-online]

My brain is whirring in the blender right now so here are the things I think twst characters would find interesting/horrifying

Atom bombs. Why would they need atom bombs? Wars were either fought with magic or swords if lilias backstory is standard war procedure. And in endless halloween, leona tells a (fake) story about a terrorist group on a yaht party or something that attacked with a magic cube. Also that whole moment with Oppenheimer where he didn't know if igniting that bomb would set off a chain reaction that would ignite all the other bombs and basically destroy the world. AND HE STILL FUCKING DID IT.

Gun. Same reasons as the atom bombs.

French revolution and the reign of terror. What do you mean 40,000 were executed and over 300,000 locked up in the time span if a few years? Why did the "french" switch between so many governments so fast? Who the hell is napoleon?

Russian revolution and Anastasia. that revolution was MESSY. But imagine telling leona or someone about how everyone thought that princess Anastasia and her brother escaped execution cause they couldn't find their bodies with the rest of the royal family. So all these middle aged women just started coming out being like "I am Anastasia", and one of these women was eventually accepted as Anastasia. Until they found out that thr royal family were submerge in vats of acid after they were killed, and because children's bones aren't quite solid, the just. Melted in the acid.

The whole mystery of those villages getting up one day and dancing themselves to death and we still don't know why.

Medieval torture devices. Like the crowd cage or when you get covered in honey and sent away on a boat to be eaten alive by bugs (jamil throws up)

The black plauge. Just. The black plauge.

Early Industrial revolution working conditions. I think even azul would get uncomfortable with those.

Mansu Musa going on tour and giving away so much gold that he collapsed entire economies.

The cold War. "Yeah so the US and the USSR were in a war-not-war because of paranoia of nuclear atom bombs but they couldn't actually go to war because if they actually went to war that would just be the end of the world so they just had a massive dick messering contest. Oh yeah! That's actually why we got the space race!"

The space race. ("The fucking moon in the sky!" "Yes azul, the moon in the sky. And Mars. And there are satellites that literally went to the cold cold edge of our solar system" "...why are you guys insane?")

American prohibition laws and the outlawing of alcohol that everyone hated so much that the government legalized alcohol again and now we have this thing called moonshine.

Mexican revolution and the solid century where their presidents just kept getting assassinated.

The greatest night in pop "we are the world". Just as a treat for the pop music club.

The entire age of exploration honestly. "What do you mean half your world didn't know the other half of the world was there until a few centuries ago?" "Oh you're gonna shit yourself when you find out what Europeans did next"

What the Europeans did next.

The world wars. Lilia has a fucking stroke while listening to it. But some of it was funny! Not really but yk! A polish bear loading an artillery Canon, an unsinkable cat, that British guy that carried a bow and arrow and played bag pipes when the nazis found him only to be the most unkillable yet unserious guy ever, a US naval captain that literally FLOODED HALF HIS SHIP on D-Day just to tilt that bitch back so they could hit the Germans better, and the US just converting a spare ship into a massive ice cream machine is pretty fucking hilarious.

The coups of the ancient past. I don't really remember who but I think this Indian (?) Prince literally threw his brother out a window, dragged him back upstairs, only to throw him out again for good measure is fucking hilarious.

The mono Lisa wasn't famous until this Guy™ stole it from a museum. The museum employs didn't even realize it was gone until someone asked where it went 💀

The way we name our countries tbh. Most of them translate to some ancient language (Spain translates to "rabbits" and Columbia is "dove"), but twst really has countries like. "Scolding Sands ✨️ and Queendom of Roses ✨️. So our country names are probably really weird to them. Especially the full country names. Do you know Hong Kongs official name? It's long as shit.

The first chainsaw was invented by two socttish doctors in the early 1800s to help with childbirth

I have many more historically rambling I could go on but this shit is getting long.

If anyone at any point wants to ramble about history they are very welcome to do so in my literal dms and not just my ask box. I love history and I love talking about it!!!

I think out of all of the things you listed the atom bomb, the space race, and the Cold War would probably be the what I think the various twst boys would find most interesting. Even in the history of our own world those things were extremely unusual, the sheer scale of something like a world war is really hard to grasp and I doubt Twisted Wonderland has had a similar event. I think the concept of such a thing would really scare the cast, though I imagine Idia, Leona, and Lilia would be grimly impressed at just how creative people can be when it comes to destroying each other. Magic isn't required to make a mess of things, sure they already knew that but oh wow. Now they're really thinking about it.

Now you know who would want to talk about all of these things? Professor Trein! He'd be really interested in learning anything and everything Yuu can remember about the history of their world. As an educator it allows him better insight into his student, and as a lover of history he gets to learn a lot of new things no one else knows.

[kalevalakryze]

Yhe'na Det Och'sa Chapter 7: Mi K’ya Ke Omaki

Summary:

"Would you die for me?"

"No. I would live for you."

Golly Gee Willikers, guys, it's been a minute. I have been Going Through It™ these last few months, but thanks to our wonderful and amazing Gabi ( @somewillwin) and all my lovely internet people in the Shin Tano discord, I've finally managed to get some time to work on another chapter! There's still so much more to go, and so much more to cover, so sit tight, and please continue having patience with me through these next few months especially.   Shin is also going through it... and Ahsoka,,, and- yeah, everyone is going through it. and don't forget! ALL ART USED IN THIS SERIES AND CHAPTER IS BY SOMEWILLWIN ON TUMBLR/TWITTER | SOMEWILLLOSE ON INSTAGRAM. Make sure we give credit where it is due, and if you share art, make sure the love goes to Gabi because she really is keeping this whole thing going!   WARNING: chapter imagery contains blood. The chapter contains descriptions of injury and suicidal ideation, and I feel like the influence of the dark side can count as a warning as well. Continue at your own risk. AO3 Link: Here!

“Ahsoka!” Kaeden protested for what had to be the hundredth time since they received the comm. “Do you really think there’s time to drop us off when we know where Shin’s at?” 

“I am not risking your lives,” Ahsoka repeated like a broken record, fingers curled tight around the yoke of the ship's controls as anxiety pulled her muscles tight. She was no stranger to the way fear could manipulate decisions, no stranger to the dangers that lurked behind every choice made, and yet… with her world on the line once again, she found difficulty in arranging her thoughts, found discomfort in the age-old mantra of letting go.

“Commander, you can’t be serious,” Rex was strapped solidly in his seat, fingers pressing into the armrests to keep himself steady through flying that could only be taught by General Skywalker, passed on so similarly in his Padawan, weaving them through space until they could reach the closest discreet jump point in the system. 

“I’m not discussing this with you!” 

There was a time, long ago during the Clone Wars, when Rex had to face the reality of a Togruta’s predatory behavior when Fives got hurt and a fourteen-year-old had bowed over his prone form and bared her teeth at any medic that tried to get too close, wouldn’t move an inch until it was Kix slowly kneeling at his vod’s side. 

He was reminded now of this instance, in the growl that rumbled in the woman’s chest and the way full lips had pulled back, sharp fangs protruding threateningly as she dared a fiery look back at the two humans, a warning echoed deep in their bones in the way artificial lights glinted off of passive blue orbs, almost making it look as if yellow were seeping into her irises with a toxic sludge. 

There was a click, then the sound of seatbelts retracting into their holders as Kaeden unbuckled, feet unsteady against the ground as Ahsoka neared the safest hyperspace lane. “Ahsoka-“ It was a valiant effort to try and calm the frenzied Force-Sensitive, though it didn’t seem to have much of an effect. 

“You weren’t there,” Ahsoka hissed. “You didn’t feel it,” her facial markings were scrunched, and Huyang was almost sure that the woman was going to destroy her steering console if she didn’t lighten the hold. 

“What didn’t we feel, ‘Soka?” Kaeden pressed, hand still pressed against the taut muscle of her bicep, her other hand moving to cover her hands on the yoke. 

“She died , Kaeden. And I just don’t have what we need on the ship to handle that. I can’t trust anyone else to get the space ready, that’s why I need you two to go,” She deflated with this admission. 

Ahsoka had felt the deaths of thousands of Jedi at once, had felt her aliit killed in battle, and had come to terms with the death of her own Master and Grand Master once their presences had closed off to her. For Shin? It was almost like their presence revealed itself, only to torture Ahsoka with the feeling of it being ripped from the world. 

There had been so much fear in the way it had bounced like bait on a string, when she’d meditated, the Force held no answers, no whispers of what could be done, or how she could get there faster. It had stayed torturously silent until the bond had strengthened, soured by darkness and the thick fog of their presence being so weak, unable to truly commit to a bond that stretched across systems when it hadn’t even seemed to want to stay tethered to the physical realm. 

Kaeden had already secured an Alliance frigate to wait on Dac for them, and in the quiet that had followed Ahsoka’s confession, the medic had taken a moment, either to alert them to an earlier arrival before Shin was rescued or to step away and breathe through the sting in her eyes, unwilling to lay any more stress on Ahsoka’s shoulders. 

The rest of the trip was spent in silence, save for Huyang’s mumbling of different coordinates or whatever they were apparently passing, along with, as they passed their clearance code to the spaceport closest to the medical frigatem randomized facts about Dac’s history and environment thanks to the Mon Calamari. 

“Commander,” Rex began as they gathered near the shuttle doors. Before Ahsoka could correct him, she found that strong arms were wrapping around her midsection. She’d grown taller than him over the years… but it was nice to be able to drop her head into the familiar plastoid on his shoulder and squeeze him in her arms, knowing that despite everything, he was with her. “Bring the kid home, alright?”

Swelled with emotion, the Togruta only nodded as they parted. Kaeden stepped up next, as Rex slipped into the frigate, the medic moved to grab at Ahsoka’s face, thumbs brushing over the markings on her cheeks as the Force-Sensitive woman pressed into her. “Don’t forget, we need you to come home too,” She reminded gently, with a parting kiss to the crown of her head. Before Kaeden could depart, she paused in the doorway. “Bring our girl back,” 

“ I will. ” 

Jestfad was a mess, harder to navigate than some warzones, and drenched in the dark side. The electrical storm was threatening to short the entire ship, even Huyang's power cells found issues with the charge in the air, eyes flickering ominously as he did his best to keep himself and the ship moving as Ahsoka kept them free of direct strikes. 

Worry was heavy in Ahsoka’s bones, urging her focus to remain only on getting through the storm. They just had to make it a little bit longer… 

They broke through the worst of the storm, headlights cutting like a sharp blade through the thick fog that settled across the surface, beams swaying as they looked for anything that resembled a humanoid, coming up with boundless sights of storm-torn boulders and the like. 

Shin would have been impossible to see if it hadn't been for the exactness of the coordinates that had been sent over the Fulcrum network, their small frame curled up under a stone monolith that absorbed lightning and kept her mostly safe; safer than Ahsoka was, open like prey waiting to be attacked. "Keep us in the air, we need to get out of here," She instructed, already making a mad dash for the door as they closed in on her position.

 "I have a bad feeling about this!" Huyang called as Ahsoka dropped the ramp and readied the stairs to give her a boost in sliding down to the surface.

"All you need to feel right now is urgency, Huyang!" Ahsoka snipped from the open door, squinting as a bolt of lightning cut through her eyesight of Shin. The force swelled with a helpful exigency and her montrals rang with the aftershocks of the sharp crack of lightning further damaging their surroundings. "Now!" 

The steps smoothed out immediately to send Ahsoka careening to the rocky surface of the planet hard . She had to hit the ground running to avoid the lightning that threatened to turn her to ash, but keeping herself moving after catching the state shin was in was another challenge in itself. 

They were shaking from where their body curled in so tight, with how they sat with their hands folded in their lap, Ahsoka could make out the unnatural twists and angles their fingers made, and the gaping wounds that morbidly decorated their palms. Large chunks of skin were missing from her hands, barely scabbed over lacerations striping painfully across her fingers and knuckles racing almost halfway up her forearm. Blood soaked through the clothes they'd been taken in, blues and grays ruined with the dark, rust-colored evidence of the worst.

"Shin!" Ahsoka shouted over the storm, moving faster than she should have; Silver-blue eyes were half-glazed, jumping to her with absolute fear , unseeing and unregistering of the reality of Ahsoka’s presence. 

"I'm sorry," The child had sobbed once Ahsoka grew near, montrals twitching at the rattle in their chest and the lethargy sinking into their being. Broken fingers flexed around nothing, and fear oozed from their being at a rate almost as concerning as all the blood. 

 All Ahsoka could offer to comfort them was her presence as she dropped to Shin’s side, ginger in the way she approached them and in the waves of pain that radiated off of them and into the very fibers of their bond. The wail of pain from them was agony in her head, one Ahsoka would not be quick to forget as she gathered her lanky kid up into her arms. "I know, I know-” As much as her heart ached to soothe Shin’s worries, to promise they had nothing to be sorry for, she had to be their Master more than their mother if she wanted any hope of getting them off that blasted moon. 

Shin was light, physically at least, though she sunk into Ahsoka’s arms with the weight of a zillobeast, feverish forehead dropping against her lek as hot tears streaked down their face. “ Didn’t say anything ,” Shin rasped at last, voice all but a wheeze. “ They don’t know, ” The rattling in their chest seemed to shake their entire being, “I swear, m.. Ahsoka… please,”   They couldn’t bring themselves to call her mom , not when the Inquisitor’s cutting remarks went far beyond their flesh. 

Ahsoka paused, a strike of lightning caught the monolith, illuminating Shin’s face and the blood that stained sickly skin. “ Oh , Tazi Unt,” she wanted to cry, tell Shin that everything would be alright, and  make everything all right. But the longer they stayed, the more dangerous it became both for her resilience in the force, and their physical wellbeing, and with each passing moment, the weaker Shin seemed to get. 

 The run back to the ship was harder, the storm grew stronger with every passing minute, and the shuttle was beginning to attract attention that they couldn't afford. "Huyang! We need to move, fast!" She shouted the minute her foot touched the durasteel ramp, muscles burning as Shin writhed in her arms uncomfortably, reaching but unable to truly hold onto the woman’s lek for comfort, failing to tether themselves into reality as their feverish state glazed over their eyes. 

The ramp raised behind her as she all but flew into the cockpit, setting Shin down in the knick of time; A bolt struck the hull of the ship, and the next thing she knew, they were diving towards the ashen ground, plummeting to their deaths in seconds; Ahsoka had slammed into the pilots seat to grab at the controls, eyes fixed on the rapidly approaching ground, slamming her free hand into every available control around her, with the painful clicking of Huyang's haywire systems trying to reboot with such an intense electronic disturbance.

 Faintly, she could hear Shin's erratic breaths, fighting to suck in wails to prove they were fine, even as fear flowed into their bond from the woman who just didn't have time to block it. They were trying to pull on the safety belts around them as their fate loomed ever closer, unable to even hook the straps into whatever was left of their hands, instead only able to watch and prepare themselves for the crash. 

 The underbelly of the shuttle scraped painfully against the planet as the power came back on, allowing Ahsoka's next hard yank at the controls to pull them up, and a well timed opening of the throttle to push them just out of the way of the next bolt of lightning that surely would have killed them. 

Huyang clicked back to life with a start; the palm of his hand switching to the hyperdrive, engaging it quickly, with their emergency jump points already queued up for a speedy escape; Ahsoka didn't dare a look behind her, to the injured girl fighting to stay in their seat, shattered hands trying in vain to find some form of a handhold against the turbulence, only earning more bruises from the painful jostling in the seat as they fought to maintain stability in their lane. 

Eventually, the ship steadied, and Ahsoka was able to take her attention away from the control panels at last, autopilot engaging with just a few buttons to maintain the course, listening to the broken gasps as Huyang knelt before Shin’s seat, and the sickening sound of bones being pulled into place along the splints. She couldn’t watch, but she couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, either.

“You’re okay, Tazi Unt , you’re alright,” She repeated those words like a mantra, even when the brunette’s head turned to bury into her stomach, attempting to spare themselves the sight that lay before them. “You’re doing so good,” She’d promised, cupping the back of the girl’s head with her hand, wincing at the indents and scabs along their scalp that felt too much like another being’s fingernails. 

Their hands were in such disarray, tendons and bone made themselves known, ripping through pal, bloodied skin, and Huyang had to scramble to catch up and get some form of control in straightening them out. But to prevent further injury was to bring more pain, and in bringing her more pain, Ahsoka was stuck with their cries echoing in her head, and the way their small frame had shaken so violently in the chair.

When Shin’s cries of pain quieted and turned into something more haunting; whimpers and sucked in breaths, turning to silence aside from the absolute worse, Ahsoka knew they couldn’t continue.  “Huyang, we don’t have anything to help, we can’t do this,” She croaked, hands hovering over Shin’s shoulders, unsure of whether or not she should soothe, or aid. 

Somewhere, long ago, far away on a battlefield surrounded by men who looked the same, Ahsoka could hear the echos of her own voice, younger, back then, with the shrapnel from an IED tearing through sepia-colored skin- “Let me die-” The fourteen-year-old had begged as a Clone’s steady hand pulled everything from metal to bone shards from her skin. 

“Let me die… Please.” The twelve-year-old sobbed into Ahsoka’s stomach, surely unaware of what they were asking for, unaware of everything but the way their bones cracked under Huyang’s fingers as he tried to reset the placement. “Huyang,” Ahsoka pleaded, voice thick with unshed emotion. “Stop.”

“Lady Tano, she needs medical attention, and you’ve dispatched our only medic-” 

“Call her, then, please… Anything but this,”

With hyperspace came silence, and with the silence of the ship around them came the sound of Ahsoka’s own heart thudding in her chest, and an airy rattling that couldn’t have come from the ship- Shin’s chest rose and fell, yes, though it was rapid and unsteady, they couldn’t draw in enough oxygen and-

“Ahsoka? Did you get her?” Kaeden’s voice came from the small comm disc in Huyang’s hand, the sound of materials being moved around following her words.

“Kaeden, she can’t breathe,” The Togruta rushed, oxygen entering her lungs for the first time since Huyang stopped his relentless first aid, warm fingers pressed against their pulse point, the rhythm weak against her fingers, eyes blinking open slowly to watch as her mother’s eyes jumped around their face, to watch Huyang, as if Kaeden could slip from the comm to help, and makers, what she wouldn’t give for that right now. 

“It’s okay, Ahsoka-” There was a small clatter on the other end. “In your cabin, I left a bag. There’s an oxygen canister and everything you should need-”

Shin tried to focus, really she did. But Kaeden’s voice sounded like it was coming from far underwater, and the persistent lingering feeling of drowning stayed clogged in lungs that struggled to fill with enough oxygen. “ Meht ?” Shin called, her voice crackling under a wheeze. Huyang’s fingers around their wrist stopped the child from reaching out as Ahsoka pulled away from them. Why was she leaving them? She didn’t talk… “Meht, please-” Their voice came in a broken sob, lungs constricting as they tried in vain to rise past Huyang. The Inquisitor was right, and Ahsoka never considered them hers and- 

There was just no more energy left to cry, no water left to sustain the tears that contorted their bruised and bloody face as a high, broken sound leaked past split lips, aching with the sorrows no one their age should have known. “She will be back, young Tano,” Huyang tried to ease them as he wound a strip of gauze across their hands, the rich smell of bacta stinging her nose even after the worst was covered. “Here she comes-” His voice couldn’t go as soft as he was trying to portray, the distortion felt like an out-of-body experience as he leaned back, away from Shin- 

“ Please ,” Again, they keened, unable to turn their head to catch Ahsoka juggling items back through the door, only the heart-sinking sight of even Huyang moving away from her. “ I didn’t say anything, please ,” She couldn’t sob, could only crackle out against blood-stained lips and try to plead her case, to beg for their forgiveness and only hope to be accepted. 

The hand that cradled the side of their head had been startling- Black gloves shoving into brunette tangles, gathering them up in strong hands to twist, and pull, or to hold a flailing body under the surface until the fight had left it, only to use the handhold to drag them up and force air back into their lungs. She did not notice the warmth or the way Ahsoka had jumped back twice as much, how every ounce of progress they’d made in getting Shin to accept her safety had been extinguished like a campfire on Kamino. 

“No,” Ahsoka listened with pursed lips and the beast of grief heavy in her heart. “Let me die,” Shin’s hands raised, broken fingers useless in their attempt to curl into a fist to protect their face, blind to the broken horror on Ahsoka’s face as the girl shrank away from her in fear, expecting Ahsoka to hurt them. 

“Shin!” It was Kaeden’s voice on the comm this time, hazy and alternating the line between reality and delirium. “Right here, okay, just listen to me, alright? Just breathe,” She spoke slow enough to earn her their attention but was unable to aid in calming the way they sucked in air too fast.

“Can’t-”  

“It’s okay, baby, your mom is going to help you, okay? She’s right there, she’s right next to you, okay?” The medic couldn’t see, the comm wasn’t equipped for video imaging, but she trusted, maybe even in the Force, that Ahsoka was right where she promised. “ ‘soka, do you know how to set that up?”

“Yeah, yes, I got it-” Keeping her voice level was a lesson she’d learned long ago; it helped her brothers feel more at peace, whether they’d died on the battlefield, or in the relative comfort of the medical wings as long as she didn’t allow her own fear to waver in her voice. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you… Not this time, never again…” 

Quiet reassurances were passed between mother and daughter as thin tubing was carefully laid out, looping behind their ears before the cannulas were placed at their nose. “Your mom is going to help you breathe, alright, just let the air in. Ahsoka, when she’s ready, turn the knob on the canister forty-five degrees counter-clockwise.”

Shin coughed and sputtered at the oxygen pushing into her lungs, lidded eyes flying open to the sight of Ahsoka trying to adjust the tubing, aching to touch them but unwilling to brush against their skin again, lest she be the reason they went back again. “You’re alright, Tazi Unt ,” She cooed, settling herself into a kneeling position at their side,two fingers pressing gently against the center of their chest, listening as their breathing struggled to even out while feeling for the rest of the damage that tore through their small frame, hidden beneath their ill-fitting tunic.  

“You’re doing so good, baby girl,” Kaeden called, easing Shin into finding some sort of compliance, relieving their struggle against the aid offered. 

“Ahsoka, I need you to keep listening to their breathing, have Huyang take over the controls for a bit,” Huyang’s eyes met Ahsoka’s and without a word, the droid rose to his feet, sliding into Ahsoka’s chair and adjusting everything to himself as he brought their course up on a map, taking them out of autopilot so he could work around through the different shortcuts the Rebellion had found.  

“Meht?” Shin was blinking up at her, bleary-eyed and beaten down, shoulders shaking with the looming threat of freezing cold water, long dried, but sticking far beyond their skin brought an intense chill. “I swear…” They coughed, a thick and sickly sounding thing as they struggled to allow the oxygen to help them breathe. 

“I believe you,” Ahsoka promised, fingers hovering where they wanted so badly to reassure them through touch again. “No one blames you, strong girl. We only want to help it stop hurting, but… we won’t be able to do anything more until we get to Kaeden, okay…?” 

The hypospray was in her pocket, she knew she needed to help Shin to sleep, but it was wrong to do such a thing, to even suggest it after all they’d been through, knowing that any kind of a needle brought into the mix wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near them- 

“Please… hurts.” They croaked, closing the distance between their feverish forehead and Ahsoka’s hovering hand of their own accord, seeking comfort in the way Ahsoka’s thumb brushed across the old and ruined paint across their cheeks. Offering her permission to touch them once again. “I don’t want… “ They paused, unsure in their delirious request. The Force answered for her, instead of pain or chains, the child’s request came in the phantom feeling of arms wound against her. “It’s okay, Tazi Unt… I can do that for you, anything you need.” She promised gently, using the aid of the Force to help adjust their position in the chair, keeping their hands steady through the Force until she could slide herself in beneath them, their weight resting fully against her chest as the seat creaked under their combined weight. 

Shin’s head tucked into Ahsoka’s neck, though the woman had to loosely wrap her fingers around their wrists to keep them still, their resistance weak as they struggled against the urge to reach for her mother’s lek. Their erratic breathing slowed once their weight was settled, allowing Ahsoka’s mind to drift away from the weight of the sedative stashed in her pockets, 

“Ahsoka?” Kaeden’s voice on the comm reminded the Togruta of her virtual presence. “I know it’s calm now… but I need you to keep an eye on Shin’s breathing, even the slightest change and we’ll need to adjust our entire approach.” 

“I… She’s as steady as she can be, right now,” Their heart still thundered in their chest, pulse thrumming wildly against the pads of Ahsoka’s thumbs where they pressed into the point on her wrist, feeling the broken rise and fall of their chest as the girl fought to retain every lesson they’d ever been given on easing that pain into the force where it could dissipate. 

“Did you use..?”

“No… I don’t think I can…” Ahsoka’s eyes slid shut in reverence, lips pulling into a frown as Shin’s weight twitched against her. All she’d wanted was to have them back in her arms, but now, with their breath coming in broken puffs against her chest, all she found that she wanted was some way to relieve them from their pain. “ I’m sorry, ” Her nose brushed against the veritable womp-rat’s nest of their head, nose crinkling at how wrong Shin smelled when iron, dirt, and grease hung on them like a thick smog.

“She’s going to be alright, Ahsoka. You found her, she’s safe . Huyang will get you guys back here, and we can treat them properly… we’ll make this work.” 

Ahsoka’s sound of discontent is trapped between her teeth as she worries a fang into her bottom lip. Kaeden spoke, but Fulcrum did not listen, focused entirely on the whistling in Shin’s lungs as exhaustion pulled their consciousness under, the hiss of the oxygen pushing into their nose through the cannulas the only other sound she could find it in her to care about. 

“Ahsoka…?” Kaeden called, though Ahsoka could not gauge how much time had passed, wild eyes filled with worry and tunneled on the small human form curled into her chest. “Hey, you still with me?” 

“Yeah…” Her voice croaked, hoarse as the hailstorm of emotion that refused to bleed into the force dragged down on each syllable. 

“Shut your eyes a bit- I’ll keep my ears out if Shin moves, okay? And Huyang will wake you up- Right Huyang?” She called towards the droid piloting the ship, satisfied with the sound of his servos whirring as his head nodded in the affirmative, even if she couldn’t see him; they’d always had an understanding when it came to their two Fulcrum agents. 

Emotions swirled inside Ahsoka’s chest, dark and rotting- She breathed through it, always had, and always would- Shin was safe . Shin needed her at her best… It was logic she could get behind, the logic that she could rationalize as the days' worth of sleep deprivation caught up with her. An exhale, and the rot subsided, blooming into something lighter , even if the roots were tainted in toxic sludge. 

A dark covered hand reached out for their face, this time, Shin did not flinch away in fear, to their horror, they found their cheek pressing into morbid fingers, something sinful on their tongue as fingers dragged through their hair. “You’re more like me than you want to admit.” The Monster breathed, putrid breath ghosting across their cheeks, filling poison in their lungs. 

Fingers curled in their hair, tugging harshly as the child’s head was wrenched back. “Show me.” Shin heard their own voice rasp out, and felt the words betray her on her own lips. “ Teach me .” 

A flash of orange, green dust caught in the wind, something… purple-

Their eyes opened in a flash, breathing stuttering as their heart thundered. Restraints dug into her skin, something beeped nearby. Unable to gather the strength to look, Shin’s eyes slammed shut tight. But Ahsoka came… She was supposed to be safe!  

Testing at her restraints, she found that the Inquisitor hadn’t locked their wrists to the chair. Broken fingers protested at the movement, though they persisted, moving to rub the snot on their nose away on their forearm- The tubes near their face gave them pause and their next inhale was thick with growing emotion. What were they doing to her now? Was that green dust something else to make her talk…? She was so tired… Why didn’t they just kill her already?Her pinkie curled around a tube, it hurt, but she couldn’t just lay there while they pumped her full of… whatever this was. “Please… Just let me die.” They croaked in a broken whisper, pulling in vein at the tubes that looped back behind her ears.

“Shin…? Sweetheart is that you?” 

Her voice was warm, drowsiness dragged her voice an octave deeper- a naive part of Shin had always loved it when Kaeden would tell her stories in her sleepy voice. 

“Meht…” Broken and tired, Shin’s head relaxed back into the warm flesh of Ahsoka’s shoulder, eyes cracking open enough at last to peer up at the once familiar lights and panels all across the ceiling. “They won’t let me die…”

“No… We aren’t going to let you die, d'bhem. ” A whine formed in the base of Shin’s throat, a sound as broken and desolate as they looked outside. Something clattered on Kaeden’s end, though Shin could not speculate when the predator under her shifted her weight, a sleepy grumble that came in the form of a rumbling chest and a squeeze of her arms reminded the girl of her situation. 

“If I’m not going to die..” Shin dared a look at her hands, finding immediate regret in the way bile, nothing but stomach acid, gurgled up their throat, threatening to expel past their lips at the sight before them. Swallowing thickly, Shin focused instead on the ceiling once more, breathing heavily through her nose, silently thankful for the support they were given. “I can’t be a Jedi… Not like this… I’m ruined.” They whispered, tension leaving their body as they went boneless in warm, restricting arms. “ She isn’t going to want me around anymore.”

“That’s not true. It’ll never be true. We want you, we want you with us all the time, sweetheart… and we will make it better…” A pause, someone’s voice called out on Kaeden’s side. “What’s that thing Ahsoka’s always saying? Do or do not…?”

“There is no try,” Shin’s cheek pressed into Ahsoka’s bicep, freezing body seeking to find some warmth in their mother’s unnatural body heat. There was an uncomfortable shifting as the child wiggled, struggling to raise their head enough to take in Ahsoka’s face for what felt like the first time.

Dark bags hung under the Togruta’s eyes, stress lines etched into the creases of her face, and even her facial markings seemed to be permanently scrunched up as she failed to find relaxation in a fitful slumber. “...Is she okay?”

A pause, the clatter of Kaeden setting something down as she took a measured breath. “She’s just worried about you, Tazi grut .”

Shin’s breathing stuttered again, throat itching with a cough they were unwilling to release, not wanting to risk waking Ahsoka up after causing her so much strife. “ I’m sorry, I never meant to wo-”

“Babygirl,” Kaeden cut her off effectively, “When you love someone, you’re always going to worry. Even Huyang can’t turn that one off.” 

“Oh…” Shin’s chin tucked into her chest bashfully. “Did… Did I worry you…?”

Warm laughter bubbled from the line, tight with the stressors depressing on this brief moment of reprieve. “Very, very , much. But I’ll see you very soon, and I’m going to be here the whole way, I’m not going anywhere, so don’t you go where I can’t follow.” Her plea was hidden in false merriment, although Shin could hear it clear as day. “Do you think you can try getting some more sleep for me? I’m not sure how much further you have to go…”

Shin could see the way Huyang’s metallic fingers flexed against the controls- Tried not to think about curling their own fingers, or the way her own were broken in a similar fashion. “Can I take this off…?” Their forearm brushed against the tubing that crossed along her cheek. 

“Sorry, baby… Not just yet,” And maybe it was the genuine sympathy in the woman’s voice, or maybe it was exhaustion threatening to take them back that had Shin’s arm dropping, broken hands resting over Ahsoka’s gauntlets, smearing blood across the material as they pressed into the familiar garment.

“Okay… You’ll be here when…?” Shin wouldn’t dare to finish, unsure what would be waiting for them, if this was another hallucination, or if the Force would be relenting enough to allow this moment to be real, even if she could feel the way her life threatened to slip through her own mangled fingers. 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, my little hunter.” 

Silence followed, the ship rattled, Shin’s broken breathing accentuated by the whisper of snores sneaking past Ahsoka’s lips. “Hey Huyang…?” Their voice was timid where it broke the tense tranquility. “Can you tell me about the Purgill again…?”

The droid cleared his nonexistent throat, clearly glad to be doing something other than bringing further harm to Shin or piloting through the emptiness of hyperspace. “Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away…”

The proximity alarms blared; doing nothing to ease the swirling pit of anxiety in Rex’s stomach,  fingers flexing around the handles of his blasters as they watched the ship pop out of hyperspace, peering through thick transparisteel as he may have all those years ago, once again waiting for Ahsoka return with someone he cared for.. “It’s okay, Rex, we’re safe-” Kaeden’s voice was gentle, pulling him from his thoughts, away from the memories of fallen brothers and Jetti that had been brought home in starships just like the T-6. 

Brown eyes looked at her with a pain built upon years of fighting that she could barely begin to understand. “T-6 one-niner-seven-four you are clear to land,” Kaeden could hear the flight crew through the shuttle’s speakers echoing through her comm. 

The silence was thick, both humans could feel their hearts thundering in their ears, neither daring to break the silence until purposeful footsteps rang through the hall leading to the operating room. “Fulcrum, we can prep her sooner if you-” Kaeden could only imagine the look on Ahsoka’s face as the voice froze in its tracks. The doors hissed open, revealing Ahsoka, with her lips still curled and fangs bared in a warning, with something that screamed danger lurking in the flecks of yellow that seemed to poison her irises, and with a lump of human in her arms, all awkward angles and dried blood. She needed something to hold onto- to ground herself. Thankfully, Rex’s arm was in reach. Her fingers curled around the ancient plastoid, feeling the soldier’s hand reach to grab her elbow, taking the same support being given as they leaned on each other.  She took a breath, letting her eyes slide shut as Ahsoka’s long strides closed the distance. She couldn’t look at this personally, couldn’t look at the fractured bundle in Ahsoka’s arms as Shin. “Kaeden.” Ahsoka’s voice cracked. She’d hoped in vain that the crackling in their earlier conversation was due to the comms, had hoped she wouldn’t have to hear the ache in each syllable. She released her hold on Rex, straightening up as she reached for the bundle in Ahsoka’s arms. “I’ll take them from here, Ahsoka.” Her voice wavered, forcing her to clear her throat as the bundle was passed into her arms. She couldn’t tell who was trembling more, Ahsoka, Shin, or herself?  She’d caught a glance at the pre-teen's face, all pale skin and a multitude of bruises, pounding on that invisible barrier she’d stuffed her emotions behind. 

“Come on, Commander. Kid’s in good hands.” Rex’s voice was rough as he reached for Ahsoka, grabbing her elbow and expertly ignoring the way she mirrored the deadly Akul from her planet, saw past the twinge in her jaw that threatened teeth that itched to tear into his flesh, muscles that spasmed, taut and ready to spring into action for even the notion that he would take her away from her own. 

With Rex and Ahsoka retreating, the small team of trusted medics finally felt safe enough to step in, careful hands helping as the woman laid Shin out against the operating table. They were no strangers to the cruelties of the Empire, not at this point, not when the Empire grew bolder in their blatant disrespect for all life. 

“Careful.” She hissed, just under her breath as a faceless attendant slid the fabric shears through the ruined tunic, all careful stitching and loving repairs forgotten in favor of granting them access to the battlefield painted against a child's skin. “Oh, makers. ” Kaeden paused, her head snapping to the side, bile rising in her throat- she stumbled back, and felt another medic place their hands on her back, steadying her when the sight became overwhelming

“If it’s too much, we understand-”

“I’m fine.” The woman spoke all too quickly. “Continue prepping her, Jlik’fi, help me scrub in, please.” 

Rex learned all too well than when it came to his General, it was better to let him pace when Ahsoka was stuck in the sick bay. Letting the Knight wear holes in his boots and only interfering when gloves hands would reach to pull at his hair or hint at some form of danger- some way to let the worry out that would leave the maintenance squad trying to fix the dents. Thankfully, Ahsoka didn’t have hair to pull on as she stalked the length of the small quarters he’d been ushered into, and as wild as she was when she was a kid, she’d never been big on the violent outbursts.. 

She did, however, have dried blood coating her skin, blood that wasn’t hers , blood that should have been safely flowing through her padawans’ veins, not painting her skin in all its horror.

Blunt nails scraped at her arms, flecking rust-colored remnants away and leaving white scratches in their wake. “Commander,” Rex heaved a great sigh as he stood. Ahsoka sure wasn’t a youngling anymore, and the Togruta had outgrown him tenfold, all broad shoulders and lean muscle, montrals sprouting like a crown from the sides of her head. He’d never been scared of her before, but there was something… off. Something that screamed danger, just like Anakin, a red flag that no one knew to catch onto. “Ahsoka.” He repeated for what had to have been the hundredth time, trying to get the Force-Sensitive to acknowledge his existence before she worried a hole into her lip, where fangs indented the skin of her lip, threatening to break the skin. 

“She’s in there with the best of the best-“

“What if it’s not enough?” She hissed, voice dropping, weighted down by that ache that went deeper than her bones, the pain that seemed to permeate her being in the very force. 

Rex blinked, a slow, contemplative expression furrowing his features as he reached to scratch his fingers through his beard. Ahsoka was always a woman of action , she didn’t get caught up in the ‘what-ifs’. 

“We have to let her try, though. All we can do right now is make sure, when Shin wakes up, that we’re here, right where she needs us.” He reasoned, scooting himself to sit on the edge of his seat, fingers curling around the edge of the table he’d sat himself at. “C’mon, kid. Sit with an old man.”

“I’m older than you.” She lacked the emotion, the impish look that would cross their faces when they teased each other about age, but it was a start . 

“Well, only one of us can get the senior citizen discount at forty-twos.” 

“Rex, it’s literally a clone bar, built by your brothers.” Her pacing came to an end as she slid bonelessly into the seat opposite him. Trembling fingers came to rest on the tabletop, though he was quick to cover her hands with his own, hiding the dried blood that clung to her skin under the guise of squeezing her hands in his own. 

“Yeah well… meli-room, meel-roo-un.” A smile cracked his lips as he shook his head, playfully dismissive of her argument. “Now c’mon. What’s that thing you Jetti are obsessed with? Meditation?” 

“ You want to meditate ?” Fulcrum asked incredulously, the facial markings above her eyes furrowing in disbelief as he shrugged. 

“Give it a shot before you carve a hole into the floor…” he just didn’t want to watch her lose herself, didn’t want to watch her plummet the same way Anakin had after she’d left. He could never help but feel like there was more he could have done, and when it came to his vod’ika , he was determined to do all in his power to never feel that strange, encompassing guilt once more. 

“Alright… alright.” She slipped her hand from his in order to rub at the side of her montral, surely aching from the intense stress of the day. 

Rex couldn’t help how closely he paid attention to the way the gold-flecked in her eyes lessened with her agreement, how her eyes slid shut but her chest still rose and fell too fast to achieve a proper meditation. He found his own worry easing now that the gnawing unknown fled from his vod’ika, leaving her as she was- exhausted and sick with worry, but Ahsoka all the same.

With a quiet groan, the clone rose from his seat, putting himself on the floor right beside her, legs folded beneath him with his head leaning against her knee, one hand resting against her ankle as he lent her his strength. 

The Togruta’s hand dropped from the tabletop, curling against the plastoid armor at his shoulder before dropping to his chest plate, following a grove left from a battle she could hardly remember. 

Rex’s breathing became more pronounced, giving her something to follow as her fingertips rested over his heart. 

Eventually, her own breathing evened out, the Togruta seemed to slip back, away from the immediate stressors of reality as she dipped into the vast pool of life that was the Force, surely seeking answers or calm beyond what a mere mortal could ever provide. 

“We’ll be okay, commander.” He grumbled, voice barely breaking the white noise of the air recyclers humming in the walls. 

Rex didn’t know how long it took, or how much time had passed before one of Kaeden’s medics poked their head into the room, rousing both Clone War survivors from their separate stupors. He did know, however, that when he looked at Ahsoka, the gold in her eyes was gone, and that worrying gnawing on his heart had subsided as she rose from her seat to follow them back to the room aboard the frigate. 

Kaeden looked as exhausted as everyone felt, all but collapsed into a chair at Shin’s bedside in the frigid room. Warmed blankets covered the frail body in bed, with a skinny wrist poking beneath the covers, tubes, and wires going this way, and that while medical equipment and droids beeped a symphony of life around them. 

Warm brown fingers curled around Shin’s wrist, just above the length of bandages that curled around the girl's hands and up her wrists, grounding herself to the steady thrumming of blood in her veins as she waited. 

“Kaeden,” Ahsoka greeted in a whisper, eyes taking over the room. The rest of the medical team had filed out on Kaeden’s request, leaving the family with much-needed silence. 

“She’s okay.” Kaeden rasped, thumb brushing against the small patch of unmarred skin beneath her fingers. 

Ahsoka crowded her field of vision when she knelt before her, taking her attention with soft eyes and kind fingers tapping against her chin. The question was silent, passed between the two women with a glance. “I’m okay,” she promised, free hand reaching to wrap around Ahsoka’s wrist, thumb pressing into the pulse point in a gentle swipe. “Get your girl.” 

With permission, Ahsoka finally allowed herself to take in the sight of the child- her child as they laid out before her. Her hair was cut and shaved in a patchwork where the team had needed to handle the injuries that had danced across the delicate surface of her head. Stitches and bandages broke up the expanse of pale skin and bruises on their path to disappear beneath the thin shirt provided. Even in sleep, Shin’s face was contorted in pain, nose wrinkled at the smell of bacta across her bruises that permeated even her medically aided dreams, with small twitches and spasms firing through various muscles as the haze of sedatives wore down. 

“ Oh, Shin. ” Ahsoka whispered, taking her place at her Padawan’s side, reaching out to ghost her fingers along the mess of bandages, careful to avoid the wires that let the humans hear the unstable thrum of her heart, to know that she was alive, to promise that she was there , with them, when the minuscule rise and fall of her chest failed to ease their concerns. 

Ahsoka’s very bones seemed to rattle inside their prison of flesh and muscle. She recognized this for what it was- with each wave of pain that thrumemd in time with her heart beat, she focused on the feeling, the attachment, so dangerous to someone like her, like them . Even now, she could feel the way the ache for revenge itched under her skin, the way something darker whispered in her mind. You can make sure no one ever hurts her again . 

Drawing her legs onto the chair with her, the Togruta repositioned herself, heavy eyes falling closed with the sound of Shin’s breathing and the beeping of the monitors tethering her to the world around her.  She’d been down this road before, many years ago, had lost countless brothers and felt the same simmering danger under the surface, a poison that threatened to sink into her bones and take control. 

Attachments led to pain, Jedi were taught to forgo all attachments, to let go and become something greater . 

Something rumbled in Ahsoka’s chest, unknown, uncultivated, something the Jedi would have never bothered to teach her to understand, a feeling and a hurt so primal, unlike anything she’d ever known the dark side to be capable of- a low, keening sound escaped her lips. She was no stranger to the behaviors of Torguta, but she’d been left to assume that such a… visceral reaction to one of her pack being injured would have been long removed from her abilities. 

The sound dragged Kaeden from her solemn reverence. She was familiar with the Force-Senstive’s silence when she’d meditated, had only ever heard the warrior speak in quiet words that commanded attention. Even injured herself, Ahsoka had never emitted such a noise, not in all the time she, nor Rex, had known her. And despite Shin’s own human biology, it seemed that the noise resonated in her, too. Enough for glassy eyes to crack open and a hand to lift just mere centimeters from the bed. “Meht.” Shin had croaked, voice barely loud enough to register past all the equipment. 

To Ahsoka, though- The rasp in their voice was an answer, not just to the question pressing on all their shoulders, but to that deeper ache in her chest, lessening when she opened her own eyes and saw herself reflected in watery depths. “I’m here, Tazi Unt. ” She leaned across the bed until the tips of her Lek dragged against the scratchy material of the sheets, letting her fingers ghost over the sliver of skin that poked out of the bandages along Shin’s arm. “ You are here.” 

She could feel the way Shin’s muscles quivered, the strain keeping her arm raised was taking. With a gentle press, Ahsoka succeeded in easing the girl's arm into dropping back into the bed, a look of relief- albeit minor in comparison to everything else, crossing their face, allowing the girl just a moment of peace. 

It didn’t last, of course. Nothing good ever seemed to. The girls mind finally seemed to break through the barriers of painkillers, racing to catch her up to speed with the burning sting in her flesh and the fractures in her bones that ran deep enough to penetrate their very soul. “Ahsoka…” The woman blinked- Her name from those lips was wrong , yet she could not stand to correct them, not when she’d failed them as both Master and Mother. “Don’t…. Don’t lose yourself for me.” They grumbled, weariness dragging them back down as the weight settled back across her shoulders. “I’m… You’re not- I…”

A bandaged hand brushed against her lekku, making them both wince: Ahsoka in shock, and Shin in what could only be pain. “Hush now, Shin… Just. Get some rest, okay?” Ahsoka pressed forward until her lips came to rest at the crown of Shin's head, pulling back just enough to watch as exhaustion dragged their eyelids down and their breathing deepened into something as close to a restful sleep as any of them could hope to get anytime soon. 

Translations Togruti Mi K’ya Ke Omak - I want to live Tazi Unt - Little one Meht - Mother d'bhem - love Tazi Grut - Little Hunter Mando'a Aliit - Family Jetti - Jedi Vod - Brother/Sister Ori'Vod - Older Brother/Sister Vod'ika - Little Brother / Sister

[sidsinning]

which MCU women do u think suffer from bad writing the most then? (Also yes Gamora and Nebula sweep)

Black Widow 10000000%

Like

This is me fully totally completely hating on the misogynistic writing that plagues her character and not her herself

She was really never utilized as more than the token woman of the Avengers until the very end up to her death

The fact that she was the only Avenger who didn't get a movie before they became the Avengers in the first place tells you a lot about what an afterthought she was to the studio

Actually insulting that she got a movie only after her character permanently died

Like she's very much the "sexy femme fatale/cool girl" archetype in the beginning of the MCU and is very blantantly sexualized in a way other characters aren't, even other female characters (disrobing for the camera, kissing Steve for disguise purposes)

Granted they stop with the sexualization later on (thank god for the Disney overlords for once) but even then she was always just a cool side character present so the men have back up for their own character arcs

Like she's AN AVENGER??? and has hinted stuff about her past which could've been expanded on during the Avengers movies, but she was never more important than Iron Man, or Thor, or Captain America, or even the Hulk.

But also. You can just tell the people writing her are men who do not give a shit about her outside of how she relates to the male characters they actually give a shit about.

Joss Whedon is especially strange imo

Like he FINALLY gives some focus on her but makes her issue in Avengers 2 smtg about not being about to reproduce and its like

Huh

When was this ever her

Issue

Was this hinted before

Like

Huh????

And nothing comes from it after either 😭

Like this is a heavy ass topic that deserves respect, but the way this guy needed to give a Woman Character™ an issue and decided it should be about her uterus out of nowhere is not. A good thing.

But yeah felt like there were slivers of potential character exploration for her throughout all these movies, and every single time, every writer just threw them out the window for more Thor or Iron Man quips

Peter is our main character in Guardians of the Galaxy. Every Guardian is a main character but there is a clear focus on him directly compared to the other characters. This never stopped James Gunn from giving any of the other Guardians their own special stories that intertwined with Peter's so beautifully. He actually gave a shit about every single one of them 😭✋️

[bestangelofall]

...tell me about ur Jason music headcanons please?

Sure!! I have so many, so I'll just drop a few here. If not directly about music, they are music related.

As it will become clear below, I think he's a metalhead (which is only half a headcanon, because he canonically likes rock, punk and metal. In addition to the posters I reference below, there also the Poison Idea poster from Batman #408 (I think??))

His favorite band is Lacuna Coil. Now, that one is based on the fact that he had a poster of Lacuna Coil's album Shallow Life on the wall of his room in the Nightwing Annual 2021:

I can't prove it's his favorite band, but he liked it enough to have a poster. Also yeah there's a Slipknot poster too but that was just a phase for him .

His favorite Lacuna Coil song is The House of Shame, but he can't always listen to it, because the lyrics hit too close to home :( He also always tries to go their concerts when they tour in the US.

He likes dramatic af music. I don't mean Evanescence dramatic (though he probably had an Evanescence phase lol). I mean stuff more like this and this. Theatrical bands. He once got into an argument with someone who said that a band he likes "had to stop being so dramatic on the stage".

Super specific, but the first band I linked above has three concept albums (and a fourth one that's also sort of related) telling the story of a character who sort of died and came back to life after drinking water of life, and couldn't go back to who she was before. So. hm, he'd be into that. He'd also be into the kind of aesthetic they have going on.

Rob Halford and Doro Pesch were his bisexual awakening.

Every year he plans to go to Wacken Open Air, but every time something freaky happens in Gotham near the date and he has to cancel :/

If/when he decides to stop with vigilantism, he's going to let his hair grow super long to headbang properly :)

Has a sad songs™ playlist and it's all the most mournful doom metal and soul-crushing power ballads he could find.

When in concerts, he goes to mosh-pits and wall of deaths. Once he got into a fight in one of them because some guy wasn't respecting the mosh pit etiquette and almost hurt someone else.

HATES Meshuggah (and djent in general), would say something like "no melody, not one emotion in the music, just mechanical and edgy for the sake of edgy" about them lol.

Just in general, he likes emotional music because it's a way for him to express many of the things he feels without being judged for it.

These are the ones I think about the most! Thank you for asking :)

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Here's my pitch for vld sequel. Based on bnha world's hero mission, a movie i have never seen from a series i stopped watching a long time ago (do not take seriously) #Alluralives #Kuronlives-

• Keith and Pidge get framed for like a very serious crime and are on the run and wanted across the universe.

• Allura is alive and there and it is never confirmed how (Someone: Wait, Princess Allura? Didnt you die? How are you still alive? Allura: Oh yeah i did almost die! However *background loud car crash noises, machine revving sounds, things falling sounds, cats sound in the background. Just basically that One troupe™, you know the one* and that is how i survived.)

• Kuron is also alive, it is also never confirmed how (Some completely random bullshit: *happens* Kuron: This is just like the day i came back to life)

• Anyway while Keith and Pidge are on the run, Allura and Coran are handling the diplomacy front since you know Keith and Pidge are both pretty high profile, Kuron Hunk and Matt along the Blades handle damage control, communication and extraction of Keith and Pidge. Shiro and Lance have the arguably the most important job, find out whodunnit while also distracting the detectives on the case from getting too close to Keith and Pidge.

• Lance and Shiro take this job Very very Seriously.

• Like Lance is playing up the dumb goofball as he "accidentally" "loses" the evidence and just doesnt seem to be "taking the job seriously" or is "unable to follow the instructions" really Detective, dont you know? The Blue Paladin is a very clumsy carefree guy! Honest!!!

• Shiro meanwhile is playing up the straight laced bureucrat rule follower. "No we can not go down there yet! We have to follow the protocol!!" Shiro says having never followed that protocol ever. "I am sorry but the rules clearly state we have to do this in this time consuming way" Shiro says knowing full well that rule is ancient and doesnt apply anymore. "I understand your concerns, however the procedure X95t-78v is a vital procedure required for any paperwork to go futher," Shiro says, he made that procedure up.

• Detective's partner suspects they are both full of shit, but cant prove it. Detective knows full well they are both full of shit, CAN prove it, but doesnt really care about it, because she's like 75% sure Keith and Pidge didnt do it.

• The Detective is by the way straight out of a Noir film, like it legit goes black and white when it is her pov and has full noir style narration going on, and she smells of cigars and coffee and rain and is also sopping wet and divorced

• Hunk goes from, "Ok guys i know this is hard but please you have to listen to us, we just want to keep you guys safe." To "I will literally throw hammers at both of you and get you arrested myself if you two dont shut the fuck up."

• Kuron is just vibing man, just chilling, doing his job, a bit red-eyed. He might be a bit high (he needs that weed to keep Traumas™ at bay)

• Allura is fighting for her life trying to handle the diplomacy front and put out fires. Everytime she and Coran make some headway Keith and Pidge end up on the front news after causing mayhem in some random planet and she has to start all over again

• Lance just knows soooo many people. He knows a Guy™ for everything. When asked he's like, "Oh it was during the time when Keith was off with BoM and Lotor was in ship. I kinda didnt have much to do so i just went off on my own." Lance, Lance why do you know these space pirates? Lance why do you know a famed recluse blacksmith who apparently also is a spy? Lance why do you know this mythic species thought to be long extinct? Lance why do you know a god of death? How the fuck do you know a God of Death, and why-why are they calling you babygirl?

• There is another God who knows Coran and calls him babygirl btw

• My main goal here is to gaslight people. There are some facts that were totally canon but reintepreted in a way that wasnt the writers intent. There are some facts that are canon but a little bit molded. There is atleast one episode/season that is hinted to be a mass hallucination and not canon at all. It works best if Netflix removes the original and its wiki gets corrupted./j

• Lgbtqia+ rep is Shiro and Curtis navigating their relationship through long distance, their own trauma and the post war era universe, atleast 2 characters being the focus in a valentine day episode only to come out as aroace, and a B-plot about Lance having just the most atrocious taste in men. Like men you wont believe were allowed to exist.

• i'll add more if i think of more

Dreamworks hire me/j

[queerbrainrot]

time to watch episode 3 of the thai live action omegaverse show

hell yeah Babe is not getting sold back to his evil-adopted-dad!

Tony is such an evil, megalomaniac name, perfect for that dude

SNOOPING???

Babe if you keep being this confident life is going to humble you hard

oof babe got angry enough to leave even CHARLIE on the track

i'll be honest i don't remember who Mr Zipper-Turtleneck is but he gotta be dead inside, also "you're the apple of Daddy's eye" sounds so WRONG

why do we talk about wagging tails

Jeff reminds me of L from Death Note, i can't explain why.

i admire Jeff's confidence to boss around his own boss but also boy if this wasn't a BL you'd be fired so fast

"family is not everyone's safe-zone" LOUDER JEFF FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACKWARDS AGES!!!!!

this cup noodles looks so unspiced i cant get over it

"uncle will take you to get some snacks" another version of kittens in the basement, or at least Jeff seems to think so

Way, how do you even know the rich socialites who can borrow you money??

Way you deserve so much more

i feel like charlie is way too good at playing the poor little pouty boy

oooh we getting Babe's backstory!!

oh no he and his dad were homeless? and then the dad disappeared?

this old man Tony is creepy and should go away from the children

JESUS THIS IS LIKE A DAMN CULT- WHY DOES ONE OF THE KIDS HAVE TELEKINESIS????

IS THAT A WHOLE BOW AND ARROW- JESUS CHRISTBABE YOU WENT THROUGH YEARS OF CULT BRAINWASHING AND PRISON LEVEL ABUSE-?

Charlie "well... is it okay now?" charlie. cHARLIE. ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAY AT ALL OF THIS. please muster up more complex emotions.

okay but they failed addressing Babe's backstory astronomically, like man pours his heart out and Charlie just is "well, is it good now? lets go back to topic of our situationship and sex"

it also still breaks my mind a little that in novels Charlie was buff and throwing around "i'll get you pregnant" but drama Charlie looks like high school boy

Alan exists to cause Feelings™ in Jeff

Charlie what are you up to.

the good dreams talk is an innuendo huh

does every gay own a striped shirt/sheets, i'm saying this as a gay who does in fact own at least one

evidence???? LET US SEE

please the racing suit looks so big on charlie

Way looks ready to smack someone and honestly he deserves

whaaat why is charlie going into elevator with some random

Babe caught feelings and now he's hurt who would have seen this coming~

oh but babe confronts him actually in semi healthy way, this is new! and charlie's lying oh not good

Charlie what are you doing sneaking off at 3 am

who is this random guy with arms around Babe's waist is this the sad bitch era

babe losing because he didn't "concentrate" before the race <3 when your own body betrays you trope, almost??

Winner being definition of fuck around and find out for the end is amazing

[cinnamonest]

Extremely important modern AU information:

Jokes about No Nut November, once casually tried but caved on November 8th, 12th, and 15th respectively (no he's not weak it's just not worth it!! What's the point? It's not healthy to go that long without it!), the only individuals here who attempt it in a sane manner really: Gorou, Bennett, Thoma

"Haha yeah I've heard of that haha" (Would literally rather die): Kaeya

Claims to have done it. Did not actually do it. Came every single day even: Venti

Stick in the mud, straight faced as he says that is the stupidest thing he has heard in his entire life, probably jerks off on the spot out of spite: Diluc, Cyno

Also says that is the stupidest thing he has heard in his entire life, secretly curious as to whether or not he could do it... casually decides to attempt. Makes it about halfway through the month. Somewhat disappointed with himself.: Tighnari

Decided to do it to test himself, takes it very seriously, manages to persevere due to 1) being already well-versed in self control and 2) avoiding potential mania triggers like the plague: Chongyun

Decided to do it to test himself, takes it very seriously, manages to persevere solely by focusing on the promise of Destroy Dick December: Heizou

Decided to do it to test himself, takes it very seriously, caves on November 3rd because a leftover Halloween decoration he passed by walking home depicted a witch with massive tiddies, wallows in disappointment face-down on his bed for an hour: Kazuha

Thinks it would be easy so he actually commits, more as a joke than anything. Quickly realizes it is in fact not easy. Bothered because??? Is he really this weak?? No, he's just psyching himself out. He can do it. Easily.... Caves on November 20th and 25th respectively. Very disappointed. At least he tried.: Xingqiu, Ayato

Has never heard of No Nut November before, sees it once online, Googles it and gets the urban dictionary definition, still has to ask someone to understand, very confused, 'is this really what the youths are doing these days' etc, would never even consider it: Zhongli

Takes it as seriously as a matter of life or death. Hypes up a week beforehand. Unironically posts about it. Does it as a joint effort with the Bros™ who act as an accountability check for each other. They overdramatize every moment like they're enduring the worst pain ever known to man. Works out as a means of distracting himself. Unironically gets a phone call at 3 am from a fellow bro claiming he's facing temptations and stays up for several hours pep talking the guy through it as if he's trying to convince him not to commit a crime. Actually manages to do it. They have a group celebration as if they just went through some major life accomplishment. Cums enough on Dec 1st to fill a mason jar: Itto

"See, technically, it only applies to masturbatory orgasms. Intercourse-induced orgasms are not included in the prohibition. Therefore -- no I'm not in a relationship, but this is hypothetical -- therefore, they don't count as -- oh that thudding sound? Ignore that, that's a dog and definitely not a live human person in my basement -- anyway, it doesn't count as--": Albedo

Has already subscribed to his egirl's "Nonstop Nut November" private video Onlyfans collection, tells himself it can't go to waste: Xiao

Makes a big deal out of No Nut November. Posts about it several days beforehand. Posts are half ironic and half unironic because he genuinely attempts it. Gets himself psyched up for it. Cums like seven times on October 31st. Mutes all nsfw accounts across various socials. Hides the lotion and tissues. Curates all consumed media to avoid any semblance of ass and tiddies. Unironically prays for strength. Acts like he's going through the worst pain known to man. Fails November 2nd 1:47 p.m.: Childe