#like why would you even pick it up. isn't it kinda obvious that the person will eventually notice and go back looking for it?

[boyapologist]

I'm having such an off day

[fallingdownhell]

hi!! would it be alright to request cyno and tighnari crushing on kaveh's younger sibling? brother's best friend type of thing ´･ᴗ･`

I hope I understood and did your request correctly. If not, I'm very sorry. Characters Included: Tighnari; Cyno Content: gender neutral reader; fluff; the boys have a huge crush; getting together (kinda) Word count: 1k words Enjoy<3

Tighnari

the way I like to think about it, is that Kaveh and Tighnari have been besties for quite some time already

they met in their Academiya days, got along, and stayed close friends till this day

of course, Tighnari was aware that Kaveh had a younger sibling, though he had never gotten to meet them and to be fair, it wasn't a top priority of his

however, that quickly changed once he saw you for the first time

Tighnari was on his way to pick Kaveh up, knocking on his door and waiting for him to open up. Nothing out of the usual. Except this time, the door was opened by someone he had never seen before

perplexed, he asked to see Kaveh, to which you told him to wait for a second

Kaveh then soon came and the two got going, without Tighnari getting to see you again. Not being able to hold in his curiosity, he questioned Kaveh about it

"What, you mean (Name)? They're my younger sibling. I told you about them, remember?"

He does remember, though he had no recollection of Kaveh telling him just how stunning you really were

over time, it became very obvious that Tighnari has developed a huge crush on you. He comes over to Kaveh's place more often, engaging in conversation with you almost every time he's there, smiling at everything you say... it's so obvious that even Kaveh picks up on the crush his best friend has for his sibling

though he wasn't the biggest fan of it at the start, in his words "It's better if it's you rather than any of these other idiots out there"

so Tighnari at least has the blessing of his best friend to pursue you... though he's not too sure about what to do from here on out

for now, he finds comfort in the fact that he gets to spend time with you and get closer to you over time, without any pressure to it

he begins to invite you to separate hangouts, just the two of you, talking about any and everything you can think of

he brings you small presents, sometimes even flowers that he finds on his patrols through the forests

one time, he invited you to a picnic as he claimed he found a beautiful spot in the forest. There, he made you a flower crown, gently placing it on top of your head

he still remembers that day fondly, the shy smile that you had, the slight blush on your cheeks.. the image is permanently engraved in his mind

one of these days, he wants to ask you on a proper date, to finally ask you to go out with him... maybe then, he can finally get even closer to you, like he always dreams of these days...

Cyno

Cyno isn't exactly best friends with Kaveh like Tighnari is, but they still are friends and hang out regularely

I like to think that those two met each other through Tighnari, and although it was a bit awkward at first, they began to bond over TCG faster than expected

soon enough, they would play together on a regular basis, getting to know each other better and better, with Cyno almost always cracking one of his god awful jokes, but everyone just bares with it

over the course of their developing friendship, they get to know more about each others lifes, which is also how Cyno first learns that Kaveh has a younger sibling, still enrolled in the Academiya

feeling intrigued, Cyno wants to know what kind of person his younger sibling would be, so he sets out on a mini "mission" to find out more about you

he learns pretty quickly that you're one of the top students in your Darshan, adored by teachers and other scholars

and he understands why that is immediately after he first meets you in person. Your kind and easygoing personality just draws people in, promising them a fun time if they were to hang out with you. You did also have a thing to be a bit too dramatic, much like your brother, but it wasn't as intense if compared to him

however, your first interaction with Cyno was stiff and awkward, seeing as you were scared because of his position, thinking that he was conducting some kind of investigation on you

after Cyno cleared up the misunderstanding, you noticably relaxed around him, smiling from time to time, even though you were still a little on edge around him

and somehow, that shy demeanor of yours is what drew him in even more, letting him fall head over heels for you

after that, it seemed like you were running into the General Mahamatra a lot more frequently. You couldn't help but think that all those 'incidental' encounters weren't so random to begin with

but nonetheless, you began to enjoy the interactions you had with Cyno. He was actually a pretty easy person to get along with, if you can ignore the icecold glares he throws at people every now and then

he often tries to lighten the mood with some of his jokes. And even if not all of them were good, you did let out a chuckle every now and then when he told a rather good one. Those small laughs would always make him feel proud on the inside, like he accomplished a great feat by making you laugh with his jokes

Kaveh, on the other hand, seemed to be oblivious about the thing the two of you had going on, until one day, you mentioned Cyno in conversation with him

your brother began questioning you about your interactions, quickly gaining a picture about what was going on

he went to confront Cyno about it the next day. It didn't escalate into a full blown argument, but can you really blame him? He's just a brother, trying to look out for his younger sibling!

it took a bit of time and reassuring, but after confirming that Cyno was indeed serious about you and not just playing with you, Kaveh reluctantly agreed to his friend pursuing a relationship with you

however, he did warn Cyno that if he were to ever hurt you, no matter which way, he would stop at nothing to make him regret the day he was born. And for the first time in his life, Cyno felt some form of fear to the blonde architect...

[marscantread7]

Sylus x Plus Size Reader/mc

Slight nsfw mention so mdni please!!!

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I'm a bit on the heavier side, like. Very plus size, and it's been on my mind for the past few days, like. Sylus w/ a plus size mc, and I'm not talking like average, what the media's idea of plus size is, I'm talkin like actual plus size.

Kinda a self insert, but thinking of mc just like poking and prodding at her skin bc it's just ugh! Like, this shirt just isn't looking right on her... maybe she should just go w/ the hoodie or wear a jacket over it like she originally planned, but here comes Sylus and he's all like, "🤨what r u doing?" And mc turns around and she's like, "this shirt just doesn't look right! Or feel right! None of this would be happening if I was smaller!" And Sylus just shuts it down real quick bc, "Sweetie. Ur perfect the way u r. U look absolutely stunning right now." And mc is very skeptical at first, bc she's literally just in typical lounge wear, but Sylus catches her gaze and decides to show her just how beautiful she is.

Omfg and like, thinking of how strong Sylus is. Like, okay another self insert😛 I'm 5'7 which isn't short, but it isn't necessarily tall either. So like, mc trying to like reach something on the highest shelf, and instead of just grabbing it for her, Sylus will lift her up so she can reach it. Just imagine her gripping onto his shoulders and looking down at him like, "Omg! Put me down, I'm too big!" And Sylus just giving her that look to try that again. "Sweetie, that means nothing to me. I'd be an inadequate partner if I couldn't support u in every way hm?" And just to spite her, he carries her away. Mmmmffffffggghhhh Sylus just randomly picking mc up at random bc he just loves holding her and🤤 Sylus holding her up and just fucking her. Like he doesn't even need to hold her against the wall! He can just pick her up and just go to town, no support.

And honestly another self insert, but I personally hate when I get insecure abt my weight and I'm ranting abt it and people get offended like "Ur not fat Marshall." Like that's such an insulting thing. Like, half the time I don't even mean it in a negative way when I point out my weight, I'm just stating an obvious fact. Like I'm big, that's a fact, u getting offended and acting like it's a bad thing that I'm big just makes me feel worse abt myself, hope this helps🙏🏾

Anyways, thinking abt mc like, criticizing her weight one day. Like, "I just don't see what u see in me. Like I'm not saying I'm ugly, but doesn't my weight make me a bit... unappealing?" And Sylus, oh the loverboy he is... "How dare u! Kitten, ur the sexiest person I've ever laid my eyes on." And he goes on this whole spiel abt how weight means nothing to him bc like??? Why should it? Like, genuinely what's so unappealing abt a little extra weight? If anything, he likes her size personally, and boy does he make it obvious. Always pinching those chubby lil cheeks, squeezing her thighs, resting his head on her stomach after a long day. And don't get him started on that ass����😛😛 the way it bounces as he's fucking mc from behind. The recoil when he gives it a light smack, signaling her to "stay still baby, I'm gonna cum too soon if u move like that." BOY... like wow! Yeah #needthatNEOW

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Anyways that's all. Sorry for like the poor grammar and not spelling words out all the way😭😭😭 I didn't intend for this to be as long as it is. I would have written it properly if I knew I was gonna be doin allat. But anyways yeah. This was just one giant thought I had bc it's like ugh! I just know Sylus would treat a big girl so well and squish down and anxieties and doubts she has abt herself and his thoughts on her. Like yeah... this was literally just written for myself😭😭😭

Also ik I use mc, but u can read it as like a y/n or reader type of thing. I just didn't feel like using "you" atm😪😪😪

[patricia-taxxon]

So, I watched that response stream that DeadwingDork made about my furry boinking video, here it is if you're curious.

By some accounts, this gentleman seems like he means well, with regards to pronouns he pulls the "when in doubt, they/them" gambit, which is partway there. If he finds this, I'll politely let him know I don't use they, just she & it. Thanks!

I have good reason to believe he began this journey in good faith, but over the course of the video he slowly gives up being charitable, and it's very frustrating to watch. There's a few key moments of miscommunication I noticed that I'd like to clear up.

DeadwingDork and I got off on the wrong foot very early on, and part of that's my fault. I start the video openly lusting after Garth Alphandomega, and this put him on edge. This might be an ideological difference we can't get past, he says that Garth is "Just a wolf" when I personally think he's quite different from a wolf. After that, I do the joke where I say "If the opportunity presented itself I would fuck my-" and cut to The Flowers of Robert Mapplethorpe, but he didn't have the context to understand what I'm saying by cutting to that album in particular, so he thought I was jokingly saying I would fuck my dog. He spends the rest of the stream with that initial impression of me lusting after what he perceives as literal animals, it's kinda the initial rock that starts the avalanche and closes him off from understanding basically anything that I'm saying, until the end, where he's convinced I've just spent 43 minutes coming out as a zoophile.

This might just be a difference in artistic philosophy, like he interprets Alpha & Omega to be about wolves whereas I interpret it as being about people through the aesthetic lens of wolves. Metaphor isn't just for abstract art movies, after all. Garth walks on 4 legs, but he has enough obvious persistent human-like traits both visually and behaviorally for me to understand him as a person delivered via wolf. For the same reason, he is disturbed by my lusting for Shoukichi Pompoko, because he interprets that movie as literally being about tanuki. I think this the main reason the concept of a character being "simultaneously human and inhuman" completely whiffed on him. He skimmed over my segment on how Leo can be both a wolf and hispanic & didn't understand the relevance, because I don't think that contradiction can be resolved in his head.

The most frustrating part of this stream is the way he clearly picks up on a lot of the overarching subtext that I'm putting down, but by that point in the video he doesn't have enough faith in me to interpret it as being put there intentionally. He treats the connection between my special-ed dog training and my current animal identity as an unintentional self-report, when it isn't. There's this *maddening* segment where I talk about Pom Poko for the first time, and he... honestly quite accurately picks apart the picture I'm illustrating about alienation, but he handwaves it away in favor of his horrible mangling of the exact literal sentence I am saying at that moment.

He says:

"There's clearly a story here, but it's being buried. There's a lot of stuff that's leading towards... 'oh, you watched this movie and this movie and your parents did this and your fuckin' teachers did this, and that's why this is happening.' That's like the fuckin' undertones of this video, [but] the main takeaway is supposed to be that this movie... I dunno, makes you f.. is supposed to feel like how fuckin' animal people feel like they're... whatever, I don't, I don't... whatever."

He grabs at the subtext, the story I'm obviously telling with the surface level anecdote of my experience seeing Pom Poko when I was young. I say obviously, because he and his chat both understood it. But then he discards that, assumes it was unintended, and importantly, he doesn't have a good answer for what I'm actually saying divorced from that. Because... what's even left after you remove the subtextual story I'm telling with this anecdote? The anecdote itself? Of course he's empty handed.

Other notes:

He can't decide whether I'm an over zealous recruiter trying to call everything furry, or that I'm a gatekeeper trying to force robust definitions of 'furry' into the general lexicon. This isn't very important, it's just kind of funny.

He is dismissive of me saying I won't report news if my only source is Kiwifarms, but he doesn't really give a good reason for it. I am having trouble summarizing his argument for why I should have referenced a website whose users doxxed me. He hilariously suggests that I should negotiate with them to have my address taken down, as long as I'm not a "lolcow" about it. I'll be charitable and say that I don't think he's thought this through very much.

He hates that I "compare autistic people to animals," when that really just doesn't mean anything on its own. A comparison is a comparison, a follower of mine pointed out to me they could say that trans people are like cockroaches & it could either mean they are doggedly resilient in the face of harsh circumstances or that they are pests that need to be exterminated. I meant something specific by using an animal metaphor to describe my autistic identity, and it transcends the literal reading of "calling autistic people animals."

He derisively calls Echo a "gay furry sex game" when it simply is not. I'll forgive him for this because he hasn't played it, but Echo isn't porn, it's a horror game. There's sex in it, and it has the framework of a dating game, but it is far from the main appeal. I'm not saying this to elevate Echo above the degrading label of "porn," because Adastra is definitely porn and it's almost as good, just not as easily recommendable to outsiders.

He thinks its commendable that Sean Booth bought my album, which is nice.

Overall, I don't think DeadwingDork is outwardly hateful, but he is quite gullible. He accepts hate speech at face value and buys into narratives useful for hate movements. There's echos of trans groomer panic, that old "you're the reason people are transphobic" chestnut, and of course, using Kiwifarms as a news source. He said he came into the video knowing nothing about me and had no reason to be approaching me in bad faith, but he clearly doesn't trust me enough to think the main rhetorical thrust of the video was intentional.

bad stream lol

[coffin-ramblings]

In your opinion, what makes Andrew's interest in Ashley romantic rather than just sexual? Love your analyses and wanted your expert opinion, bc personally I'm kinda on the fence about it

I am very flattered that you like my analysts and consider me an expert! It is a great honor to be told that.

The first evidence Andrew is romantically in love with Ashley is this dialogue back in Episode 1. This was actually one of the big reasons why I did not check out Episode 2 for a long while because of how fucking weird Andrew is. I already knew he was weird and actually down bad for Ashley, but that moment really shows how deeply fucked up this guy is. What do you mean you think it's too romantic to commit suicide by jumping off the balcony with your sister? Even Ashley thinks he's weird there.

And then he explains that he thinks it's romantic because that'd mean their bodies would be be entangled together and have to be buried in the same coffin. Despite this, he likes that Ashley wants to join him, which wow, okay dude.

We now fast forward to chapter 2, where we get a lot more of incestuous hints from Andrew.

The first obvious one that you will always see is Andrew checking on Ashley because she's obviously in a bad mood having their burglary thwarted and having to talk with, cook for, and eat with their mother who abandoned them, likely sold them out, and wanted them dead. Ashley doesn't want to talk about it because this confirms her desire to sacrifice them and was hoping she didn't have to say it to Andrew, so she is also frustrated he's not picking that up either and being snappy. Andrew then thinks, "I want to hug her until she smiles", which okay, that's innocuous enough, but is then followed by, "I'm not going to do it, it's another thought that I wish I never had." What kind of thoughts do you have that makes you not want to hug your sister and comfort her Andrew? Isn't it a good thing you want to make her happy especially in this really shit day? And why are you blushing at that thought???

After that, you can have Andrew go talk with their mother and have this gem:

While it's easy to think Andrew thinking, "I don't want to grow fonder of Ashley because she's a bitch" if you see this the first time, notice that he starts blushing there. He very much does not want his romantic desires for Ashley intensified, nor does he ever want to be separated from her as we find out later on at the fireplace if you are on Burial route.

And before that, Andrew eats Ashley's mom-and-dad soup despite his obvious reluctance to and his outright refusal in Decay. He is only doing this to make Ashley happy, when the day before, he was holding back from just hugging her to cheer her up because of the fear that intimacy with Ashley will expose his feelings, which is why Ashley is surprised. That is, quite weirdly, a romantic gesture of Andrew.

And finally, no matter how you get Burial Sane, Andrew is still on better terms with her than before their parents died. Sure he's grumpy and aloof, but he still is happy to be with her and he doesn't start blaming her for their situation. This unnerves Ashley because she now realizes that he doesn't "need" her, but he's still hanging around for who knows how long and she can't guarantee he will stay.

It's easy to think that Andrew's feelings for Ashley is just sexual when the main focus has been Burial Questionable and the confirmation that they can have sex in Decay. Sane often gets neglected for being boring, "pointless", and Ashley being "out of character" for not teasing Andrew about the incest vision, but it is still a major route of the game and is worth analyzing. People often miss the main point of the game is that Andrew's and Ashley's (mostly) platonic relationship is already under a lot of strain due to their mutual distrust that the other will betray and/or leave them, Ashley being too stuck in the past in the most obvious form of being attached to Andy, and Andrew being cold to Ashley because he can't be honest with his affection for her. They have to rebuild their relationship as family and friends first before they can have a relatively healthy romantic relationship. Even after that obstacle, the fear of being rejected for their incestuous feelings is very real and valid when they're also family, and if the other leaves them for that or stops being on good terms with them, they are completely alone and/or heartbroken because they have no one left to love them and for them to love back.

This is why Andrew represses his romantic desire for Ashley, and Ashley can choose to stay platonic with him or tell Andrew that they will not have sex. They are both aware this really is not normal, they are most likely going to be rejected because it's abnormal, and they are afraid of what will happen after rejection. They value each other so much that they will be happy to give up their own desires if it means that they can still have each other around. That is also quite romantic, and needless to say, a very common experience for people who have trouble with confessing or never confessed their feelings to the people they love.

If Andrew merely had sexual feelings for Ashley, he can just keep dating and having sex with other women that look like her and move on. Even though Ashley doesn't like it and resents him for that, at least they still have a relationship, which is better than none at all for Andrew. It is much more difficult for Andrew when he is romantically in love with her, and he actively has to hide it away from her in hopes she won't reject him. He tried to make the best of dating Julia to try to get rid of his romantic and sexual feelings for Ashley, but even that is not enough. As seen in the Voicemails video, he needs to imagine Julia's Ashley to say romantic declarations of love to her, but that makes him sad.

On a more meta level, and one a lot of fans forget, is that TCOAAL is a psychological horror game. It is so much more revolting and well, horrifying that Andrew has romantic feelings for Ashley. My revulsion at Andrew was so strong that I stayed away from the game for months, planning to wait until Episode 3 because I want Julia to show up so I can root for her because neither sibling was sympathetic enough for me. If it was just Andrew being very sexually touchy with Ashley, I and many others would have thought he is sexually abusive or he only sees Ashley as a sex doll, and thus find it easier to root for Ashley and hope she leaves him or retaliates against him. But it is way more fascinating and accurate to a codependency that there is no clear abuser-and-victim or good guy and bad guy dynamic, that the siblings are mutually horrible to each other, but also mutually in love and lust for each other. Nemlei makes their romance an integral part of the game's horror, which is a masterful display of her skill as a creator to blend two seemingly opposite feelings into one work of art.

[markantonys]

I can't remember what Rafe has hinted/what has been leaked/what you've speculated re Matt getting the Ashandarei. On a personal level I really don't give that much of a fuck if he gets a "real" Ashandarei or keeps his DIY dagger-and-spear version from s2, but at this point I want him to get the book version ASAP just so the bookcloaks will stop bellyaching about it.

yeah i don't know if we've had any hints one way or the other! all i can think of is there was an interview with the production designer and he mentioned that it was important to get the design of the DIY spear right because it's the weapon mat will be using "for the rest of the series" but then later in the same interview he said it was the weapon mat will be using "for the rest of the season" so i didn't get a definitive sense on whether he actually meant it would be mat's weapon for the show's entire run or whether he only meant that it was an important spotlit prop for this particular episode (plus english isn't his first language so idk how much stock to put in his precise word choice of series vs. season. heck i think even native english speakers use them differently depending on region, thinking about how taskmaster calls it "series 1" "series 2" etc where an american show would use "season 1" "season 2" instead).

so yeah, i'm not sure what to predict myself! i could see it falling into the same category as what you (i think it was you) were saying about mat's ancient memories, where the show clearly made it so that he got them already from the horn and it's silly for reddit to be expecting him to get them from the finn next season. maybe this is a situation where he got his ashandarei already and it's silly to predict he'll get another, different one next season. on the other hand, the DIY spear wasn't as obvious a substitute as the hero memories, so it's a grayer area. back to the first hand, iirc the bedpost he used IS carved with ravens, which feels like kind of a giveaway that this is indeed THE Ashandarei™ since that's the design it has, unless they only designed the DIY one the same way as easter-egg-y foreshadowing.

back to the second hand, mat still needs to get his medallion. but back to the first, he doesn't have to receive them together, so maybe medallion + answers are his only finn gifts, or maybe he picks up the medallion from the tanchico museum (no reason it can't just be a ter'angreal artifact already lying around in this realm of existence) and only gets answers from the finn. i'm also not even completely sure mat needs the medallion at all if Hating Channelers isn't an entire personality trait of show!mat lmao but it IS such an iconic part of his whole Look that i don't see why they wouldn't include it.

overall, i too don't care either way! i remember i made a post a while back that was like "i can't believe people are actually worried that mat won't get his real ashandarei, come on guys do you think he'll be using a DIY spear for the entire show? be serious" so if he actually does use a DIY spear for the entire show i will be embarrassingly humbled yet again jdkfjg but in my defense, the thing i thought was absurd about that was "mat using a knife taped to a stick as his permanent weapon", it was the unstable temporary craftsmanship that was absurd to me, not the general idea of him making his ashandarei himself rather than being gifted it. all we need is a 3x01 scene of perrin properly blacksmithing knife & stick together (doubling as a good mat-perrin solo bonding scene) and my sole objection would be resolved!

there's also the question of the dagger. would it narratively work for the dagger to be stuck with mat for the rest of the show? i thiiiiiink it would, because rand's already been stabbed, i think fain's already been corrupted, and i kinda doubt they'd bother with elaida's corruption because she's already got enough internal & external factors to make her do crimes without also needing to be corrupted by mashadar. so maybe mat can retain custody of the dagger forever now if no one else needs to come into contact with it. but if not, they could have perrin fashion a new, normal spearhead and weld it onto the stick.

in conclusion, now that i've pictured perrin helping turn DIY Knifestick into a proper permanent weapon, i want it so badly! i want mat's signature weapon to be imbued with the power of friendship and homoerotic stabbings!

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Can you do kisaki x not really smart in the character book he hates dumb people I think it'll be nice if he got one as a partner and she asks him the most obvious questions like she'll just text in the middle of the night he'll be annoyed but still tell her the answer I would really love this I think it's cute🤧

Yeah I think it would be potentially good for him as well, like it would help him to see that more than just book smarts matter in a person. So here's what I got for Kisaki x not really smart reader who asks him for help a lot (the reader also kinda ended up being Koko's sister)

The first time he saw you at the office he was very confused, wanting to know who you were and why you were sitting in Koko's chair. He immediately fixes his glasses and questions you, finding out that you're Koko's sister and you're working on a project which you want your brother's help on. Since Koko was in meeting, Kisaki helped you out instead, assuming it would make you leave faster. Unfortunately for him, this was just the start of his problems.

He convinces himself that he only gave you his phone number to get you to leave but deep down he knows it's a lie.

He sighs so often when you're around, you just seem to ask the strangest and most obvious questions. 

Despite that he's actually very fond of you, he can't figure out why though and it bothers him. He also very much acts like he isn't, hopes these feelings will go away but they just keep getting stronger instead.

Complains to anyone about how "annoying" Koko's sister is. He just won't stop talking about you and if he talks for long enough then a lot of the complaints are about you distracting him from work.

Secretly likes you relying on him for help, it makes him feel needed.

He often purposely waits for your late evening texts, sometimes even purposely staying up for them.

Thinks all the emojis and little things you send after to thank him are ridiculous (he still finds himself softly smiling at the hearts though before frowning again).

Basically decides to help you out with your work one day (he just wants to spend more time with you)

His heart beats faster anytime you smile at him, especially after he's just helped you with something. 

You actually make him start to see things differently and change his perspective on people. 

Hanma finds this whole situation hilarious and teases Kisaki over his "little crush" often.

He finds himself daydreaming about you often 

One time you drop your pen and as Kisaki goes to pick it up, you do too. The two of you accidentally touch hands and Kisaki nearly forgets how to breathe.

Sometimes you bring him little treats as a thanks, he always scoffs at them but still eats them.

And finally, he does eventually confess you. He blurts out if you would like to go on a date him after you ask him a question. You agree happily (Koko isn't so thrilled when he finds out later though).

[utilitycaster]

anyway this is obviously a wild shift in the topic of conversation, but I was talking about it in the group chat last night as a distraction and would like to continue the distraction if I am being honest, so, with the caveat that this is based off of Fandom Osmosis Observations and a few reads of reviews and I have at this time played neither of these games, some thoughts about BG3 vs. Veilguard and what I've seen. many thanks to @captainofthetidesbreath for actually knowing things about video games and answering my many questions.

also just putting this up front with all said caveats: if you disagree that is great, I am very open that this is an outside observation and I could be very wrong but I am going to block people who get hostile without warning, and make this nonrebloggable if too many people get hostile. You are always permitted to disagree but like, I don't really care about your opinion if you're not someone with whom I have a pre-existing rapport unless idk you're like, actually a BG3 or Veilguard official story writer who happens to be on Tumblr. If you're a player? You have all of your own biases and they are not mine. Save it for someone who wants to get in a fight about this; I am not that person.

Essentially, what I've seen in terms of criticism from Veilguard that isn't just rampant transphobia comes down to the following:

why am I not playing my previous character from Inquisition again

why am I limited to a fairly consistent through line for the story

But first, I'm going to talk about BG3. What's funny is I seem like a much more obvious candidate for playing BG3, as a longtime D&D player who has come around on Forgotten Realms as a setting. However, while I looked at it for a while, I eventually lost interest for a couple of reasons. One is that apparently all the characters are WAY too eager to romance you which is like, a fun fantasy for 10 minutes but would probably annoy me in the long run. Another is that everyone who watched early reviews and kept abreast with the game told me that there was a clear favorite companion (Astarion) and that many of the characters had most of their interesting flaws sanded down (eg: Wyll was apparently much cockier originally; Shadowheart even more petulant; and as these are perhaps the two characters I was most intrigued by, reducing them to something blander destroyed much of the appeal). But perhaps the most interesting one is that as a boring goodie two shoes sort of person, my thought back when I was like "yeah, perhaps I will play this" was "oh, I do not want to have a murderous urge within me."

It became very apparent, through watching people play through and post on my dash, that if you didn't specifically play as the Dark Urge, and didn't specifically resist that urge, the story didn't really cohere. I have to admit, I know the premise of BG3 very well (tadpoles), and I know a lot of shipping trends (put a pin in that), and I know some of the more obvious points within it (Astarion is a vampire, Gale and Karlach both have bombs in their chests somehow, Shadowheart bleaches her hair) but I don't really have a great sense of the ending, and I did not avoid spoilers.

It feels like BG3 is designed for people who have one of those massive spreadsheets of D&D characters they haven't had a chance to play that are meticulously kept and thoroughly realized...and don't really leave room for modifying to fit the campaign you will actually be playing in. It feels like an OC sandbox simulator unless you do actually pick the choice the writers actually wrote for (Durge), and while it's not technically playersexual...it kinda is. I mean, I am a big fan of the trend in video games towards making it possible to romance anyone because it conjures up the idea of a world of high-powered bisexuals running around, which is very enjoyable for me, but the criticism of the Mary Sue archetype originally was never "how dare you fantasize about being cool." It was "wow, the characterizations are all warped beyond recognition solely so that everyone is in love with this character, and that makes for a dull and unsatisfying story." If you're everyone's type, and it's for romance and not just sheer lust, then either everyone around you is boring and wants the same thing, or you are sort of bland and inoffensive, or else the story is bashing characters together without a good basis for a compelling romance. This is also compounded by the fact that the companions can't get together with each other if you're playing your own character and not an Origins character.

None of this is to say it's bad to like BG3 and again, I didn't play it; but it is why I ultimately said "you know, given the effort involved to play it for me, a person without a gaming system, it's not worth it."

Veilguard has specifically intrigued me for going against a lot of this. You have a lot of choices in your character build, but they're all fairly thematically consistent: you did something within your faction that was well-intentioned but upset higher-ups and so you need to step away for a while. This establishes a personality for you! We know why you're part of a faction but also something of a free agent at the moment. We know why you're here and why you might be a good candidate for the current mission.

I'm not going to go into detail for the choices because while I'm not avoiding spoilers I don't want to spoil a relatively new game for others, but a lot of choices are fairly parallel, not in an "illusion of choice" way - they have consequences - but in terms of hitting similar themes. You can only save one city and both are places you have seen and places your companions have connections to; while the exact details may differ you are telling a consistent story.

I also think the fact that the companions can romance each other in your absence is important too! They exist even when you're not there. They are not just here to woo you, and indeed, they might be a better match for each other. I've been informed this is true in Inquisition as well, and I think it's a much more rich world if you, as the player, as the person who can ultimately decide the fates of your companions, aren't the center of their personal life. I also think it prevents the ability to sand down companions to be more agreeable to you as a player if you have to make an NPC/NPC romance compelling (and I will freely admit that, in a move that is not at all like me, I was pretty well sold by a potential in-game NPC/NPC romance, which is usually not the thing that gets me into works of fiction).

I'm not the right person to speak to the Inquisitor not being a significant character because I did not play DA:I, and I get that 'well, this is a new game with a new protagonist, as there has been for every Dragon Age game' is still not necessarily an adequate explanation. Nor is "hey, maybe it's good to attract new players" even though as someone who is highly attracted as a new player that is my opinion. However, I want to go back to the point about Resist Durge being the strongest option in BG3 in terms of story by a long shot. When I was trying to learn more, I said "ok, so just like how you're Tav in BG3 and Rook in Veilguard, you're Lavellan in Inquisition, right?" and was told that you are not - that's just the elvish Inquisitor option. Obviously this is anecdotal, but the fact that one option was far and away the most popular and thematically resonant is an indication that perhaps bringing forth the Inquisitor is carrying over some of the limitations of that game, whatever they may be. The true argument is "they are trying to tell a specific story here, and it is about a different POV than the one you previously had."

And that's really my point. I know I'm not an expert here - in fact I'm usually quite hesitant to write meta about things in which I'm not highly steeped, and very critical of those people who do - but I think an outsider perspective is useful here. The thing that is drawing me to video games is a new way to experience a fictional narrative (the other game I have been meaning to play - and even own on Steam- is Disco Elysium). That's not what everyone wants! But it is what I want. And so I want to be put into a developed, thoughtful narrative, and I don't mind if my choices are restricted in order to support it, and if I am playing a person I did not entirely choose. In tech, there is a saying of "make it easy to make the right choice (and hard to make the wrong one)" and so if you need your protagonist to hit certain beats, you should make that the required protagonist.

I think a story is stronger if your choices matter but if there is something of a foregone conclusion because it gives the writers thematic throughlines. This might sound a little silly given that this blog is largely dedicated to Actual Play but the thing is, most actual play does have, if not a foregone conclusion, at least a strongly intended conclusion of "work towards uncovering this mystery and achieving this goal", though the success of said goal is not guaranteed. I would argue that when a campaign lacks that, it tends to suffer in all aspects. RPG video games almost always have a foregone conclusion, but that's its own liability. In actual play, lacking a forgone conclusion means you spin off in any direction and it's anyone's guess if it's coherent. In an RPG, having this conclusion but not supporting it through the rest of the game will make it feel contrived. I feel a lot of Veilguard criticism is focusing on small contrivances early on that really mostly matter to a highly specific subset of potential players that prevent much larger and less forgiveable contrivances later on.

Anyway. Again, I am an outsider here, and I'm not here to say that it's bad to have a more open-world, sandboxy game with a self-insert-y OC type; but I have to be honest, I'd rather explore that in a true sandbox of fanfiction or original fiction, which is significantly cheaper and in which I can actually tell the entire story I want to tell. I don't want to be given more choices if a lot of them will be profoundly unsatisfying as a narrative. I don't want to cut through the world like a hot knife through butter. I want to be affected by it, and that's very hard to do with a character whose only trait is "self-insert whom everyone wants to fuck" or "guy that already carries the baggage of years of personal headcanons and highly variable choices that are hard to account for for every single person who ever played the previous game."

[sfstranslations]

how hard(?) would you say it is to translate? Ive been kinda curious about that, like does anything get lost in translation/ just not make that much sense without knowing the og language? or anything like that? 🤔

Hm, maybe 7 or 8 on a scale of 10? Though it can easily go higher at times, haha. (Always when Sung Hyunjae is in a scene because his name is a misspelling and it pisses me off.* This is a joke. Only half, though.) Basic word-by-word dictionary lookup is simple, which is why machine translators can do it well enough. But then you have to string all of it together in a sentence where you:

figure out and find a way to convey any difference in connotation between this specific chosen word and other words that mean the same thing (think the connotations of "regal" VS "royal" in English), and

do the same as above, but on a sentence-wide level translating the nuance of a particular grammar/sentence structure (thousand and one sentence endings in Korean, I swear -_-), and

make sure distinct character voices are retained or translated from the original Korean (think Song Taewon's stiff formality VS Han Yoojin's more casual speech VS Sung Hyunjae's middle-aged rich guy-type speech), and

make sure this sentence flows with the overall paragraph/chapter.

All those priorities have to be juggled throughout the chapter and add up to make it a fairly hard task. It definitely gets easier with practice once you're more familiar with the language (especially the nuance/connotation stuff), though, and I did get lucky in that my native language shares some aspects with Korean so the grammar is easier to intuitively grasp. Of course, I'm still learning, so I do have times I need to call in more experienced speakers for help.

(I definitely wouldn't say I'm good with the language period. Recently I've tentatively picked up a new novel—people following my personal blog will know which one—and it turns out I'm familiar with the way Geunseo talks and familiar with the vocabulary typical to dungeon fantasy novels, but kind of. Majorly hopeless when it comes to other stuff. The phrasing is juuust off enough that I keep getting tripped up and taking thrice as long to understand what's being said.)

There's definitely stuff that wouldn't make sense in English—certain idioms, cultural stuff, and all that, but that's why I try to localize wherever possible and add footnotes with relevant info/links if not. And there is stuff that gets lost in translation—you can look at the chapter titles from 302–307 for an example of that, where the joke is much more immediately obvious in Korean but had to be translated differently as chapter title VS in-chapter text messages and lost the clear parallel. I also remember being grumpy back during the virtual reality dungeon arc because Yoohyun would use 네놈 (ne-nom but typically pronounced ni-nom, a derogatory way to say "you", LMAO) towards Sigma and there was no concise way to get that across in English except having him be aggressive and direct. Especially since he isn't the type to swear by word of god, so I couldn't have him addressing him with "asshole" or "jerk" to convey it.

TL;DR: Fairly hard to translate, but gets easier with time, and there is stuff that's lost or difficult to understand, but I do what I can to make it understandable in English!

--

* Sung Hyunjae uses "ae" at the end, but that implies it's 성현재, which is wrong—the correct spelling is 성현제, which should be "Sung Hyunje". (If you wanted to go the full Revised Romanization route, it'd be Seong Hyeonje, but I've weathered my share of name changes and that's a step too far even for me.) I've been meaning to make a poll about changing it like with the Lauchitas spelling, but I keep forgetting.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insisting on an apology?

☆I'M SO SORRY THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG☆

(Ok tbh I feel like I already know the answer, but I'd like some other opinions just in case. Also, I kinda need to vent, sorry)

(ALSO- I tried to post this on reddit AITA and holy shit are they picky about submissions- this story got deleted because "no interpersonal relationship problems allowed". WHAT possible conflict situation would not be interpersonal? Can you even have a AITA submission that isn't interpersonal?)

My mom is a premium member of a casino and she found out that the casino was having a BBQ for the premium members and their guests. So she wanted us to go.

Except she didn't find out about this BBQ until the day before it would happen and I had work that day and since my shift had long ended, I would not get a chance to talk to anyone at work about switching shifts and I don't have anyone's number to ask. So my mom decided for me that I should just call out.

Now here's where I might be TA (but I feel like what happened after could earn me back some points)

I was pissed off at the fact that she didn't even ask if I wanted to go or if I was ok with calling out or if I even COULD get someone to cover. She just automatically told me to call out, like I have to listen to her. (I'm over 18. I am an adult) I didn't appreciate that she just decided this for me like I was a child and told her so. This lead to a big fight where I cussed at her and called her a bitch and told her to go fuck herself (not my best moment) and told her to go to this stupid BBQ alone. (I genuinely meant that part about going alone- at least somebody should enjoy it. Also, she's my ride, so I was willing to be stranded with no way of getting anywhere if it would enable her to enjoy her party.)

After I calmed down, I told her I'd be willing to call out if she absolutely insisted. She said no, it was fine and I ended up going to work as usual.

Almost.

About an hour before my shift ends, she shows up AT MY JOB and tells me to ask my manager if I could leave.

No! It doesn't work that way! I work retail. As far as I know, no retail job will let you leave early unless it's an emergency. She worked retail, she knows the drill. So I tell her to think of a legitimate reason why I'd have to leave and I'd tell my lead that. (Luckily I had a lead I was pretty chill with that day and she was like why is your mom here? And when I explained the situation, she was like "yeah I don't really care if you leave, but I need you to make up a legitimate excuse for when [our boss] asks why you left.")

She couldn't think of a reason, and after humiliating me at my job, she left without me noticing and I finished my shift. (It was a very busy and stressful day, even without my mom pulling that shit)

She surprisingly picked me up when my shift was over and we went to the dinner and were able to make it in time and had a nice dinner, so all of her stunts were wholly unnecessary.

She had sent me several long and vicious texts while I was at work that I didn't see until much later in the night. I will quote some of the more vicious ones (text message will have 《》 around them my personal thoughts on the text will be after with *) omitting personal info:

《You are a 26 year old loser [my name] stuck at a dead-end job that you've been doing for almost 5 years. A little bit of a rush shouldn't phase you like it does and you should be able to ask to leave a few minutes early- why can't you?》

*Name-calling is unnecessary and rude. She is constantly putting me down and calling me a loser and insulting my job, like she doesn't also work retail. So it's no wonder why I hesitate to jeopardize my job to please her.

[Context- one of the reasons I couldn't leave, other than the fact that retail Doesn't Work That Way is that I had a huge rush of customers and had to straighten up my department that I was working alone. I was closing and it would be extremely obvious who had left the department a mess and I would get in trouble for it.]

《Who left you with that mess? I overheard them [my leads] talking and they didn't sound like they thought you were being left with anything. They thought you should've handled it and can't do your job if that was a problem.》

*This one really got me and I was VERY glad I didn't see this text while at work, because I probably would've had some kind of meltdown. I honestly do not know how long she's been doing this (probably my whole life) but recently I've been noticing that she keeps trying to plant seeds of doubt and paranoia in me. Mostly by telling me that people are talking about me behind my back and/or judging me. Or telling me that my friends don't actually like me. Another example that I caught recently was her telling me that when I go to retail stores as a customer, she notices other customers and the employees staring at me, judging my hair/outfit/whatever. I immediately thought this was total bullshit, but just in case I was wrong, I paid extra, EXTRA attention to everyone around me when I was out in public to see if anyone was pointing, whispering, looking at me, doing anything to suggest judgement and I honestly did not see a single person even glance at me. I have unnaturally colored hair, so I expected at least one glance, but I got nothing. Side note rant over.*

I'm not going to quote the last text, as it doesn't have any specific quotes that provide any context. She just demanded that if I am not out of work by 5:01 (exactly 1 minute after my shift ends) then she is leaving me stranded and that I need to get my friend to pick me up.

*which....I live in her car. If I hadn't been out on time, I would've been completely stranded at night, with nowhere to go and no way to get there, which as a female, is unbelievably dangerous. It is also incredibly rude to demand that my friend, who doesn't work with me and has his own life, should drop everything and come pick me up and....what? Take me where? I'd probably end up having to stay at his house, which is very rude to basically guilt him into letting me stay at his house for the night*

SO after the dinner, I read all these texts and I was furious and insisted that she apologize to me for 1. Causing a scene at my work 2. All of that nasty shit she said to me in the texts and 3. For blaming me for ruining her plans when even after I went to my shift, we were still able to go to the dinner, so all of the stunts she pulled were entirely unnecessary.

She literally laughed in my face and called me delusional (for...wanting a verbal apology....) and when I doubled down on demanding an apology, she called me a delusional cunt and I still have never received an apology to this day.

What are these acronyms?

[misc-obeyme]

Hello! :D

I simply can't stop thinking about Barbatos being insanely attracted and so deeply in love with MC that he don't make the effort to hide it anymore, but the problem is: MC doesn't actually think that he feels that way.

(I'm using female pronouns for better explanation, pardon my english 😔🫶)

Like, MC lives with many ancient and immortal beings who have lived for many many centuries and she is only a human who lived for a few years. In mc's conception, she doesn't see a reason why any of them would be attracted to mc in any way, so she just lives peacefully with them, not really expecting any romantic approach.

Mc and barbatos have a friendship, and mc is attracted to Barbatos (who isn't really?), but doesn't do anything about it. Kinda like the attraction you feel towards your favorite idol, you don't really make a move, but you wish you could get married.

Barbatos notices and kinda feels the same way, sending discreet signals when they were together. He finds it strange, because he sees her obvious interest in him, but doesn't do anything about it.

As time passes, Barbs feelings grow stronger and he grows frustrated and is determined to show MC his interest, his discreet moves now are obvious (only when they were alone bc its barb, cmon). When mc is talking he is just staring at her with such lovestruck eyes, blinking slowly and repliying to her in a flirty way. Mc only grows more and more flustered, not making any moves still.

It gets worse in a degree that once barbatos corners her against a wall and stares deeply at her soul, saying something bluntly urging her to do something since he knew she wasnt oblivious to the situation. Maybe in a teasing way, maybe serious.

I dont know if my ideas came out clear and I honestly think I'm a little lightheaded bc of anti-allergy meds, but this plot has been haunting my mind and I had to tell someone. Stay safe!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi there, anon! While I'm a little concerned about medications making you lightheaded (like omg please rest and I hope you feel better soon!), I do think I understand what you're trying to say!

Because ahhh Barbatos he's so reserved. When I wrote my long fic, there's kind of a theme where the MC character doesn't believe that Barbatos returns their feelings. It's the cause of much angst and anguish, especially in the later chapters.

I think this is because Barbatos doesn't really express his feelings all that much. He's always calm and collected. He doesn't really get worked up about much of anything. Even when he's mad, it's like hidden behind a smile. The only time we really see him get truly angry is with Solomon in Nightbringer. (I mean there may have been other times but that's the only time I can remember.)

Anyway, I love the idea that he finally picks up on MC's feelings and realizes he has to start being more expressive with his own feelings. I kinda think he might realize that he only has so much time with MC, assuming they're still mortal. Like he's gonna hafta do something because time is short!

I personally am very fond of Barb being a tease, so I like the idea of him kinda teasing MC about it at first. But eventually he's going to get serious. If he thought MC really didn't understand how he feels and wasn't picking up on his teasing and maybe couldn't respond for some reason, he would choose to get serious and direct with them.

So yes, I think this is a delightful scenario and I am always rooting for Barbatos to confess his true love to MC lol!

[yuu-kumeii]

Heeello, hru?

i want a tsukishima kei × fem!reader, NO TIME SKIP, i want his reaction on the reader hugging him suddenly without saying anything and the reader doesn't pull away from the hug (aka gives him a long hug)

(Reader is clingy and doesn’t want to vent, but at the end she let it all out)

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, crying

Omg hi anon❗❗❗ I'm doing fine when I got this, but now I'm like a deflated grammar balloon 😭😭😭

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH YOUR REQUEST I SWEAR I WAS THINKING ABT IT THE WHOLE TIME AFTER I GOT IT, I just didn't get the motivation at that time so I waited for inspiration to strike. But then inspiration hit me too hard and this ended up going waaaay off track ⚰️ PLUS I wrote the middle part during a campus tour and boy am I glad to have friends who are willing to be my beta readers bc past Yuu was NOT having a good time there 🥹. So sorry again in advance if this isn't exactly what you were expecting 🙏

Btw, your all caps red NO TIMESKIP is kinda funny to me bc it's like telling me to REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A PRE TIMESKIP THING NOT POST since I'm someone who mainly writes for post timeskip 💀 ntm how you probably had your own timeskip waiting for this thing 🧍‍♀️but anyways I hope you still enjoy this monster of a drabble fic hybrid 🫶

Also heads up, it's an established relationship, yeah sorry I didn't know if you would be ok with that but uh yeah sorry 😭

Word count : 3.5k (How did I get here)

There wasn't any indication as to why you started to feel the way you do, maybe you were tired. It could be from stress, school work has been piling up so it wasn't a stretch to say that you might've been feeling a little burnt out. But deep down, you know exactly why. You're just too embarrassed to say it out loud, because what kind of person would you be to think that your friends were that shallow? A bad manager and an even more awful friend, that's what.

Everyone has been asking about you, concerned for your lack of response as of late. You barely look up from your notebook, something about a 'full proof strategy for their next game'. One so full proof it apparently doesn't need any input from the team or Kiyoko...or the coach... It's obvious you're trying to avoid them without being absent. Which makes it even more strange, usually you'd want to get away from the people you're avoiding. So why aren't you?

"Oh no, [Y/N] lookout!" A voice suddenly calls out, snapping you out of your thoughts just as you see a ball coming straight for you.

Before you could react, someone beat it to you, "I got it!" A hand reaches out and blocks the ball, you don't register who it is until—

"Nice save, Yacchan!"

Of course.

Yachi was the one who saved your face from getting pummeled while you sat there with your head in the clouds. All the more reason the team should just— just—

Just kick you off the team.

Ah.

There it is.

That's what's been on your mind. Why it was so hard for you to actually avoid them, you were scared to be pushed aside while trying to encourage them to do so. Thinking you were being good at your job, only to see someone new do it better.

You feel like you've been lacking as a manager, despite being in the club for longer. It felt like the newcomer, Yachi, was doing a lot better in the short time she's here. You know it was unwarranted, she's been nothing but helpful. Picking up all the little things you and Kiyoko taught her. The team also welcomed her with open arms, as did you.

It was a gradual realization on your end, with 3 managers on standby, it's easy to lose track of who does what job. But more and more it felt like you've been doing the least out of the 3 of you. It really affected you, even without you knowing.

You start to forget routines, things like after school clean up duty, homework, even going as far as to forget planned hangouts. It felt like all you wanted to do was finish the day as quickly as possible, you don't even get up from your seat much anymore. Your indifference in class is mostly likely why no one tried approaching you for stuff, which makes sense, you probably look unapproachable anyway.

Well, almost unapproachable. If it weren't for Tsukishima, who chose to come up to you on days you fully ignore the team.

"What's up with you?" His words were short and lacked any poise, fitting for the only first year keen on riling up opponents and allies alike.

"...Nothing is, I'm fine" Much like Tsuki, your words were curt. Hoping that the less you answer, the more he's inclined to leave you alone.

Giving you an unconvinced look paired with an equally unconvinced once over, he shrugs and turns to leave you be.

"Suit yourself"

That hurts more than anything your own mind can throw at you, because all it does is convince you further that they're better off without you. All you've been doing is feeling bad about yourself, starting to forget everything important in favor of ignoring the problem.

But strangely enough, even when you forget, nothing seems to have any big consequences. When you realize you forgot about cleanup duty, your class partner just shrugs, saying your friend stayed behind and helped them instead. You think that it could've been Yamaguchi, he sometimes helps with cleaning duty when someone's partner goes home early.

It makes you feel worse about your moping, inconveniencing not one but two people. All because you can't convince yourself that just because Yachi is doing a lot better than you, it doesn't mean you're useless.

Right?

Not to mention the heartwarming messages from your friends when you don't show up to a hangout, they seem so understanding in spite of how you don't even tell them anything. The messages telling you to "Take care of yourself" and "Work things out at your own pace" could honestly make you cry.

Even the team tries their best to cheer you up, or at least to get your attention. You can't lie and say you don't see Hinata trying to get the other first years to pull some cool volleyball stunt he saw once, hoping that you'll congratulate them. It's hard to ignore it, especially when you can just feel his occasional stare, trying to get a reaction from you. But, as much as you want to cheer them on, you just can't do that. And yet, they're still so understanding. Trying to raise your spirit, Yachi even tried to start a conversation with you by asking for help on different managerial duties. But to no avail, all you do is point her in the right direction before going back to your place in the stands. Her efforts weren't in vain, but not enough to really get to you.

But it doesn't add up, how would they know you're going through a tough time? Are you really that obvious? You probably are. Either way, it's sweet of them to still think about you even when you're basically ditching them.

What does make sense to you is the homework, which you still end up submitting on time. All thanks to, you guessed it, Tsukishima. He just started reminding you about homework due in 2 days, complete with the pages and formulas needed. A smart comment about your recent forgetfulness is always attached to the message, something to remind you that it's from Tsuki of all people.

Someone you got to know through Yamaguchi, a mutual friend of yours, and if that's not enough, then being on the same team definitely is. As a manager on said team, you were always there for whatever sarcastic quip he had at the ready. Complete with every short joke ever made and that snide smile of his almost everyday. Needless to say, it didn't take long for a friendship to bloom. No longer hanging out only when Yams was around, you both built a routine for when you have each other. Yet you were always one to break routine for something new, a habit the tall beanpole never fails to challenge.

"Why do I have to come with you? You can just go alone" He says, not too keen on the idea of skipping your usual bakery visit for a cafe.

"Because I don't want to go alone and you're the only free one" You were always so sure he'd come with you anyway, to the point where you don't even try to convince him anymore.

He did end up going with you in the end, even if he did have his complaints here and there. But overall, it was one of the few times you can visibly see him having a good time. You chose a cafe themed around the stars and space in general, which you knew Tsuki liked quite a bit. Sure it would've been better to go to a dinosaur themed cafe, but the ones you know about are all the way in Tokyo and Fukui. Nevertheless, that space cafe visit was definitely a core memory in both your and Tsukishima's friendship, no matter how much that salt shaker wanted to deny it.

Though you did promise that one day, both of you would go together.

As friends, cause that's what you are, right?

Wait, actually do you even remember what happened after the space cafe? Wasn't it really important?

It feels like you know exactly what it is, it's a *fact* that you remember what it is. But much like everything else around you, it as well, whether you mean to or not, is pushed to the back of your head. Your thoughts start to discourage your resolve in this self-driven solitude of yours, built upon claims with no support. But why would the evidence matter if the claim itself is enough to make you believe?

It really felt like you were going to keep up this ruse forever, nothing really served as a consequence to you. The only thing keeping you in this state were the small glimpses of the team above your notebook, always up to some dumb fun. Something you always looked forward to in spite of the grueling practice ahead of them, well it was something you looked forward to.

Your eyes catch onto the other first years happily chatting with each other, except for Tsuki who preferred to stand on the sidelines, only chiming in to add a sprinkle of sarcasm into the conversation. That seems fun, you knew it was. As you watch everyone laugh at something Yachi says, something in you starts coiling around your heart.

You're suddenly aware of every breath you take, your thoughts start to repeat 'breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...'

Your surroundings start to feel heavy, like you were tethered to your place. The sound of your own breathing feels louder than the voices in the gym. So focused on your empty notebook that everything else blurs at the edges of your vision.

It wasn't until you caught golden-brown eyes staring at you from across the court, genuine concern masked under a nonchalant gleam. You hold his gaze for longer than you'd like, unsure if there's anything else hidden under the bespectacled stare.

Tsuki only tilts his head in the direction of the other first years, probably telling you to come with them. You can only refuse, solemnly shaking your head. They can't possibly want you there with them, not after ignoring them for the better part of a week. It wouldn't be right to just butt in like that.

He probably knows that you're still not giving in, because it looked like he let out a sigh before walking towards them. Not before one last stare down with you, his gaze asking if you're sure about your decision. You can only hesitantly nod, you're not sure, you don't want to pick this decision, but you've convinced yourself that you're backed into a corner.

A corner you made up.

Well, no use in thinking about it now.

"Oi [Y/N], I'm gonna lock up the gym now! Better get going" Oh coach Ukai, you forgot he was still here. Taking your notebook and pen into your arms, you nod at the coach before heading towards the exit. Body slightly hunched over when you pass him, unable to look at him in the eye.

"Whatever it is you're going through, you know they got your back, right kiddo?" Ukai suddenly says, right before you leave. It makes you stand in your place for a while, thinking. You know they do, it just doesn't feel right to, especially when you didn't give them a valid reason for your distance.

"Y-yeah…Thanks, coach" You mumble, fully facing away from him. Turning to leave, when you catch a glimpse of the orange sky outside. Realizing how late it got, you break into a sprint back to your classroom.

Through the now empty halls, doused in ombre. No other soul in sight, leaving the sounds of your footsteps to be heard. The sky is beautiful today…wouldn't it be fun to experience it together?

Your pace slows right in front of your classroom, 1-4 written on a sign next to the door. Putting your hands on your knees to catch your breath from all the running, you stop to admire the light that passes through your classroom door.

And that's when you heard it, the faint scratching of a chalkboard being erased, you'd know that sound anywhere. It's soft, you could barely hear it over your own breaths, who could be cleaning it at this time? You know your partner didn't come to school today, they were sick. You yourself forgot, so why would anyone be there?

Slowly peeking through the door frame, you see a lone figure standing by the chalkboard. Short blond hair, a lean figure, headphones over his neck, the wire hanging loose. It's him, the one you felt the most guilt for. You watch him for a while, lazily swiping the eraser across the chalkboard.

So that's who your cleanup partner was talking about.

It wasn't Yamaguchi…

It was Tsuki.

He's been the one filing in for you, the one picking up after you. The one who kept pushing you to just talk to the team from a distance, he was looking out for you. The one that's been trying to reach out in his own way, you feel so stupid. Running away while your…

Your…

Your...

Own boyfriend looks out for you even when you unfairly pushed him away.

Your eyes glaze over and your breathing interchanges between short huffs and long shaky sighs. Feeling like you owe so much to him, keeping you afloat in an ocean of your own solitude. Step by step, you make your way over. Speeding up the closer you got.

Reaching him, you immediately press your face into his back. Arms wrapping around his waist, grabbing at the fabric of his school uniform to keep yourself in place. You can feel him tense, before slowly relaxing and going back to his cleaning. The guilt eating up at you even more, you clench your fists around his uniform, trembling in your place. Your lip trembles slightly, making your words sound even more pathetic than they already are.

"I'm…I-I'm so-so-...so-sor—ry—!" You sob, voice breaking off the same way you are. No words could express the mix of relief and remorse you feel, relief to be able to express your true feelings and remorse for your actions that didn't. Your eyes fill with tears that linger at their edge, waiting for a push to get them down.

"You better be, do you know how much they miss you? Those idiots won't stop asking me about you" Kei's words striking right through your heart, the coil no longer tight. Your tears finally fall as your cries get louder. You press your face further into your boyfriend's back for comfort, letting out all the pent up feelings you've harbored the past week.

"I…I just f-felt like—like I wa-was u-useless!" You whimper, sobs reduced to short intakes of air between big breaths.

"Idiot…" Turning to face you fully, Kei's hand settles itself on the top of your head, sliding down to the back. Pushing you further into an embrace of his own, refusing to look at you. One hand on the back of your head, the other fiddling with his headphone wires.

All that you've done, the distance you tried to make, it all came tumbling down. All at once. It was never supposed to take hold of you the way it did, so all you needed was something to justify ending it. Kei, is that something.

"It's just tha-that—Yachi is such-such a good mana–ger…be-better than me…" The words flow out before you could stop them, a confession to your actions. Hearing it out loud, you truly realize how weak your reasons are. It just shows how little it took to have you questioning your worth as a member of the team, laid out in front of the both of you.　

"..." His silence causes you to meekly look up at him, afraid of what he might think. Kei was always good at keeping a neutral face, never making it easy for you to know what he's thinking.

"I don't want to stop being your guys' manager…" You lower your head, voice a whisper, lip still quivering slightly.

"Then don't, no one's telling you to quit"

Huh.

"But—" You quickly look back up at him.

"But nothing, Yachi's great and all but when will we ever get another clutz like you who pays for my drink?" He has a smug look on his face after saying that, eyes filled with nothing but mischief.

You say nothing, words stuck in your throat. Still staring at his stupid smile, he's probably so proud of himself for that. But, you knew he said that to cheer you up. Something to keep you out of your own head, and it's working.

"Way to ruin the moment…" You mumble, "Could've been a bit more dramatic" A soft smile takes over your expression, already feeling much more relieved than before.

"You can do that by yourself," Kei retorts, looking at you from the corner of his eye.

"But you'd still do it with me" Your smile grows, eyes filled with adoration for the pretty face in front of you. After being alone for the better part of a week, it was nice to finally talk again. Even if you had so much making up to do, to everyone in the team, maybe you could start with the one who still held you close.

"Oh? You sound so sure of yourself for someone who's been running away from me" Eyebrow raised in faux skepticism, waiting for your answer.

"I promise I'll make it up to you first" You tell him, before burying your face back into his front, basking in his familiar scent and warmth where you feel most at ease.

"You better"

And you will. To all of them.

Walking home from school during sunset is a special kind of rare to you, barely anyone on the streets. Your newfound goal for the following week, circling in your mind. Beside you was Kei, matching your pace with long strides contrasting your own smaller steps.

"Kei…Do you want to stop by Paprika heaven?" You suddenly ask.

"Paprika heaven? Really?" Kei is not convinced you're being serious, you can practically sense that raised brow.

"It's a cafe! I know the name isn't the sweetest sounding but trust me on this!" You insist, letting out an exasperated huff.

"Shouldn't it be closed?" He questions further, still doubtful.

"It closes at 9, I checked" You proudly exclaim, crossing your arms with a content look on your face.

Kei rolls his eyes at your antics, "Alright, I yield" he raises his hands in surrender, yet a smirk still makes its way onto his face, "But you're paying"

You freeze, realizing that he's right. You are going to pay for it, with your own money. Immediately, your figure deflates dramatically. Slouching forward with an exaggerated groan.

"Right…" Your wallet will never forgive you. But not because Paprika Heaven was too expensive, a piece of your soul just dies whenever you take out a remotely large amount of money from your wallet.

This apparently amuses your boyfriend because he starts laughing, so much so that his shoulders move in time with each laugh. He turns to look at your stunned figure, which only entertains him more. Hearing his mocking laughter, it shakes you out of your stupor. Irritation starts to take hold of you, wanting him to stop laughing at your obvious misery.

"Wha—?! Stop laughing!" Your fists make contact with your boyfriend's chest, repeatedly hitting him to get him to shut.

"I'm serious! I might become poor after this!"

"That's your own fault" In between laughs, Kei is still able to call you out. Seriously, can't he take this seriously?

After a while he calms down, wiping a single tear from his eye. You also calm down, arms tired from the repeated attacks on your boyfriend. Leaning your forehead on his chest to rest, eyes closing on their own from the change in atmosphere. Kei only stands proud, hands in his pockets and a grin spread across his face in content.

Comfortable silence wash over you, the sun still peeking just beyond the horizon, lighting up the road just enough for you to see the way ahead. It's way too late for a bunch of high school students to be out, let alone ones who plan on staying out. But that doesn't matter, you can take the worried lectures from your parents later. Right now, you want to make up for lost time.

"Kei—," You raise your head to face him, taking a deep breath,

"Thank you" A closed eyed smile appears on your face, "For still putting up with me"

"...Whatever" He looks away from you, eyes gazing over the road in front of you.

But no matter how much he tries to hide it,

You can still see that small genuine smile on his face.

[lucabyte]

Your gender thought type essays have made me curious about what your oc creation/development process is like! It seems to be something you put a lot of thought into and that’s very interesting (especially cause my circles don’t often go into detail in that area)

I'm delighted to hear you're curious!! I'll give as thorough an answer as I can manage, though it'll likely be a bit disorganised. Okay, so... I'm gonna use a couple examples for this, and since you specified gender stuff I'm gonna go for some where gender/sexuality are integral, even if in seemingly counterproducive ways (but that'll be the last few...)

So. The first character that comes to mind here for me in terms of like... A lot of thought going into their gender is Lavender.

So going all the way back... Lavender was made in 2015.

Spreadsheet puts her at the 13th character in the setting, creation-date ways! So she's Been around a while.

Part 1: A Core Idea

Now, why was Lavender made? This is the first step of character creation. Well, she was made to tick a bit of a box. I realised my only girls at the time were all tomboyish so I needed a cute girl. And this was 2015, so she arose in the form of a Waifu Joke. She was intended to be a side-character with no real plot ties, so I just designed a character as cute as possible, named her simply (Lavender Wafeu == literally Colour and Waifu) and was basically done? 7 months later I would make Mafioso to slightly further the joke, in that giving Lavender a girlfriend makes her unpursuable* as a waifu. This also gave me a stark butch/femme pair, and I recall around this era there was a joke going around on tumblr of 'Indestructable Lesbians' as opposed to buried gays. This kinda became their thing. Two lesbians the plot wouldn't touch and they wouldn't be endangered.

.... And then that was kinda it. She was a cute girl who was fun to draw, shy, and reserved in nature. An opposition to Mafioso's brash (but secretly a little nervous) demeanor. I would literally just liken this to flutterdash outright. I was basically just doing flutterdash in terms of their personalities.

SO: This is the first step to all my characters. Find a core concept, or more likely, a core joke. Lavender's core joke is a very rough and (frankly unfunny) "your waifu isn't going to fuck you" joke. But you can see how she was built out of it. And we'll get to how that building happened next.

(^ Weird 2015 era lavender with her total lack of emotive range and flat characterisation)

Part 2: Dormancy

Lavender stayed unchanged for quite a while, in this flat state. She picked up a few things, mostly little 'twists' to her character. ie. she could hold her own in a fight, is surprisingly quick to jump to (cartoonish) violence, and likes a good steak. All very basic little things, obvious "oh bet you didn't expect That" contradictions.

She didn't recieve much attention during this time despite me really liking her design still. Mafioso languished even worse in this era, with her mother Omerta picking up most of the development instead. Overall, these two were very, very boring. No amount of little superficial additions could save them from this.

But it... hints at something, right? It hints that maybe there's a facade somewhere, that maybe the perfect-cute-girl thing might actually take a little bit of effort to upkeep...? Hrm...

Part 3: A Fresh Perspective

So, sometime in 2020, I was finally remaking my 2016-era spreadsheet of all my characters from the ground up, since I needed to remove a lot of ms excel specific formatting it had in it.

And while going through, I was being helped by @samhainian, who I had befriended in the years between. And they remarked that I didn't have enough directly trans characters in the cast, to which I agreed. I had a handful of tokens at the time (Adder and Angel spring to mind?) but not many more, so we literally just went down the list with suggestions. And when Sam suggested Lavender, I reacted with confusion. Because... Wait. Is she not trans? But she's so feminine? All of my characters lean extremely gender-neutral in presentation unless they're trying to do gender on purpose...?

And this just, unlocked her whole character like a skeleton key.

I was making her do her gender on purpose. The reason she had those contradictions is because she's putting in the effort to appear like this perfect, girl-next-door, waifu type. Something that doesn't really work if she doesn't have girlhood to prove.

From here, her coy 'maybe she has more to her than cute girl' hints were instantly recontextualised as a thing She was Doing. And instead of being random superficial tidbits, they were Depth. And her cartoonish 'extremely mild-mannered and polite persona' suddenly became a very human facade.

So, she had a new core to build around. And her lack of anything going on before in terms of backstory suddenly felt contextual? She's clearly fresh new to this. She had already had the backstory of being a very young (about 19~21) person who had moved to a new town to live on her own-- Suddenly that makes sense. She's forging a whole new identity. Her polite 'never really talking about herself because she's an object for the audience to desire' quietness becomes intentional evasion. She doesn't have a backstory, because she doesn't want it to be any of your business.

And ironically, this immediately Gave Her the backstory she had been missing. Her wiles and hidden 'smarter than she looks' becomes so relevant as to be real character traits...

I already somewhat went over this (and a number of other gender thoughts, including my thoughts on my myriad 'cis but not' or 'nb in a specific direction') in a thing I wrote, woof, 2 years ago: (LINK) which was a ramble about a lot of my character's genders... In that I summarised Lavender's gender as such:

Part 4: In practice

Okay so it's all well and good that I realised Lavender is Trans Gemder. But that's not where it ends, because she finally became refined and polished to the point of um. Quadrupling her image count on toyhouse. because of Purrgatorio.

See, the other reason I was getting my spreadsheets in order was for Purrgatorio (the original flavour of it, the visual novel) and I needed to just do some general housekeeping.

Lavender, Mafioso and Ess shared a route in VN!Purrgatorio, being that I saw them as a triad of characters. While this characterisation of her basically did nothing interesting, aside from showing her fiery side, this would later become the basis for her being one of the first characters met in actual purrgatorio, where she, being polite and nice, and established back in 2016ish to be one of the few characters Chrome isn't a total asshole to--- She gets to meet Ali.

Now this is where I would say a lot of the real development happened. Right there, in action, in putting her to the test of real writing. All of her characterisation stops being hypothetical, and instead something I have to portray. And I found as I wrote, she grew more deep simply by giving her such an odd situation to be in. And of note, by having Ali be intimidated by talking to cute girls, it gave her the upper hand in the dynamic-- Really allowing me to show off her ability to lead a conversation, and her quiet confidence in herself-- as well as hinting at the thing she isn't quite so confident with.

It's also allowed me to start thinking about her sexuality, too. This is another thing that goes back to her flimsy core concept. The Waifu is generally a sexless being in their own right, having sexuality projected onto them by the narrative or audience. In fact, a lot of shounen girls don't get to be romantically forward-- both because it risks alienating the intended selfshipper-audience, and also because showing too much confidence and autonomy in their sexuality can be too threatening for the chuunibyo audience, who aren't yet comfortable with their own sexuality and-- wait! Look at that! Another part of the core concept I can toy with! Wouldn't it make sense, if she's meant to be a deconstruction of The Waifu Archetype, for her to have that confidence and autonomy? This is what 2015-me was clumsily trying to grasp with the whole lesbian thing... So why not just re-angle that into her being confident and forward. It fits with her new personality, so it works!

*oh hey there's that asterisk. I also realised she had chemistry with Ali! Given the way she is level-headed and rather logical deep down, her curiosity drives this. She's not going to pass up a chance to know a literal Alien... But it also further illustrates how badly Mafioso has been left in the dust by her. (She's been quietly tinkered with behind the scenes ready for her reintrodcution, but for a while, I was really struggling!! Like, considering overhauling her character levels of struggling!! But, we managed, I think. She's yet to be introduced and put into practice yet, but it's upcoming.) To the point where I've broken them up! At least for now. Mafioso needs to prove herself I think, since now she can't rely on Lavender being waifish and easily won over.

TO SUMMARISE THE MAJOR POINTS THERE:

Any joke/idea can be a suitable core, even if flimsy, you just need to find which parts are interesting to either double down on or deconstruct

It's okay for characters to take a long time to form! If you don't feel connected to a character they might need a shake up, but also YOU might need a shake up. Lavender needed a new perspective from someone with a different approach to gender as me, and for I myself to become more comfortable with Real Sexuality (ive literally just aged nearly 10 years itll happen) before she could really shine.

Following on from the above you basically never need to throw a character out completely. You should try and find what it is you like about them, or consider core, and perhaps try and reframe or refract those elements. A character might get demoted to non-main status sometimes, but why throw away that depth? They can hang out on the sidelines if that's better for them.

Sometimes a character won't feel done until you write them! You can do this with RP if you have the ability, but I wrote Purrgatorio instead, which is intentionally low-stakes and non-canon so I don't get too freaked out about writing it. It's a playground for testing characterisaton, and putting characters in weird pairings they otherwise wouldn't to see if something interesting arises.

SOME OTHER EXAMPLES FROM MY BACK CATALOGUE:

Lavender is a bit of a daunting pick, given that she's spent nearly 10 years slowly rotating in my brain, only to finally become realised in the last 3-4 or so. But I do have some more recent quick examples, as well as another giant thing you can read if you want to.

GIANT THING TO READ IF YOU WANT IT: I've posted abt this before way ages ago but I wrote up a whole gigantic thing on my probably 2 most in depth characters. It can be found here (LINK) and also has a longass diatribe about their genders, sexualities, and the core thing they were originally riffing on. (Which was like. a specific type of anime boy ship i was a sucker for, that I eventually realised I was making way more interesting than most anime i was into was bothered to do)

It's a very thorough look into my thought process, including ANOTHER diatribe on purrgatorio granting me some good boons of character.

OTHER EXAMPLE 1: ALI

Okay Ali is too complicated to get into thoroughly here, but they're another good example of a core idea spiralling out.

Core idea: Blank slate visual novel protagonist, so gender neutral and a bit of a flimsy everyman. No real name, only a default name if you left the entry blank. (Ali, a shortening of the canon surname). #FFFFFF skin to keep the jokey ambiguity and pink hair to reference Dante's silly red hat.

Twists: Canon assigned surname of Alighieri, implying them to be some descendent of The Real Dante. And they're in a VN so there's a spooky easter egg where you can roll a death screen that shows them as an ominous demonic Thing instead of a regular human.

The, VN!Purrgatorio got shelved, and because they were human instead of a furry they got shuffled into other projects. A furry version of them showed up in a different project riffing on the demon thing, making them a child-friendly antichrist with 2 siblings based on the tragicomedy masks. Then that furry version's stuff got shoved onto the human version who was just a half-demon kid in Creature Feature. THEN we decided they'd be half-succubus to keep the ability to shift between the sexes (referencing the blank slate gender ambiguity of the VN). THEN that became 'nerd who is freaked out by being a sex demon and doesn't like the ethical implications of their existance but is still kinda miffed that they arent Getting Any' who STILL HAD the antichrist stuff from the furry version....

(^ technically a completely seperate ali ive not done anything with in years lol)

Like you get it. It's a giant katamari of STUFF from all different settings. This is what I mean by 'you never really need to scrap a character'. Because after all this shoving them around into different projects and them accruing things (the 'guy who is really concerned with informed consent is a succubus/incubus' angle really informed them here, as well as deciding that they're apathetic about the magic sex characteristic changes.) we threw them right back into the original setting of Purrgatorio and it went WAY BETTER once they actually had some character traits!

But that core idea still stands a little. Not in them being an everyman, but in prompting them to become an altersex character when fleshed out, and in the way that they're distinctly still tied to that second-person-narration that VNs have, and the eventual 4th wall break they got in the VN informed their powerset as 'narrative manipulator'.

also as a note here: DON'T BE AFRAID TO PLAY WHILE YOUR SETTING ISN'T DONE!

VN!Purrgatorio got shelved because I redid a bunch of MYMK's setting when I was finishing it up. But It was worth it even unfinished.

Ali themselves when in Current!Purrgatorio has spent, up until very recently, their whole time with their home setting (Creature Feature) in a state of being deeply unfinished and in need of a reshake. It's finally getting that now, but it was still fine for me to reference what I knew likely wouldn't be changing! They were able to function just fine without their home setting being solid for upwards of 2-3 years. Obviously this shouldn't be done for *finished* works, but when you're just playing, like I am with Purrgatorio, it's okay to keep things fluid and effectively quietly retcon things later.

OTHER EXAMPLE 2: PEACH TRACY

Peach tracy is an actually recent character, and is under @samhainian's purview, as with the rest of Moraine. Now, she was made with a very distinct gender/sexuality in mind, unlike a lot of my characters who stumble ass-backwards into one.

Peach is the 'token girl' of her group (the other two being Red, a closeted and unaware transfem, and Toyon a he/him butch.) and well, her gender is basically "tik tok girlie", as is her core concept. She only works if she's a pampered cisgender straight girl from a rich background. She's nice! But she's privileged.

Her twist however, is that she is wracked by the guilt of her and her group letting a friend take the fall for an Illegal Youtube Prank to save their own skin, and as such her entire character unravels from there.

Because she has all this guilt, it stands that her Girliepop Persona must be somewhat constructed. She's leaning in to the femininity as a shield and a deflector. She's, y'know, a white girl.

So her gender ends up being overperformed, and she's petrified of expressing her sexuality due to it being tied up in this image of purity. She's the exact type of person to psyche herself out into believing those 'having a crush on your friend is problematic' tumblr posts.

But none of this would really work if she did not start as a (white) girl, able to use that shield. If she were a dude or nonwhite-coded she would not have the ability to react to her situation that way. Ergo, she is actually built out of her identity this way.

(As for her sexuality, she is unhealthily self-flagellating about it, so it ends up just being unpleasant. This was a genuine surprise to myself and @samhainian when we were discussing it. We hadn't thought about it prior to starting some lighthearted riffing about assigning characters kinks literally bc we were bored when we had the horrifying realisation that Peach would not be safe about this shit AT ALL due to a lack of self preservation and way more ambient suicidality than we realised she had until we dug here. We quickly resurfaced from the joke conversation into an actual deconstruction of how she's internalised a lot of blame and decided to go distinctly carceral with it for herself. so there's another tip: Even if you aren't making nsfw content, poking around a character's sexuality will sometimes reveal raw truths that come from sexuality being very vulnerable by default.)

Peach is overall an interesting contrast to Lavender, since they're both Girls Being Feminine On Purpose, but one is transfem and one is. Well god idk what peach will end up but she'll need to unpack it.

(I note that peach is white also, since while I rarely intentionally racially code my characters, sometimes i SUPER do.)

OTHER EXAMPLE 3: VIRGIL MALACODA

Okay because I've talked about a number of girls so far lets be brief about a fuckin Dude.

Virgil is like, some real toxic masculinity shit. He would probably be fucked up in some different way if he were born a girl, but he's distinctly falling into a lot of traps due to his upbringing as "A dude who was promised he'd get power when he grew up".

His dude-ness is a very flat fact to me in that way, and he's similar to Tabitha in that regard since it's one of the ways they're meant to reflect each other. Dudes who's place as patriarch-to-be saved them from being pawned off as a wife, but is still responsible for a lot of their misery. Certainly the better of the two options, but could still be better!

Virgil's themes of masculinity being a simultaneous shield and blinder is a simple one but I go back to it a lot because it can be true a lot of the time in antiquated social situations like, say, the upper class. So, being a villain, he does end up being a condemnation of the structures that disincentivise healthy masculinity. He's necessarily amab because he is the result of how particularly regressive views of masculinity can shape a child into a repressed and miserable adult.

Whether or not virgil stays a dude or not if he ever figures out his way of viewing power structures was Fucked Up and Bad is anybody's guess. It's not really Masculinity that was hurting him, so much as a rich asshole's narrow view of it. So there's no real reason for him to reject a healthier version of it outright, it's just whether he'll ever get there...

CLOSING REMARKS:

Okay writing in the tumblr post editor is starting to scare me with errors so I should probably close this out. But yeah this is a little bit of a run down of where my head is usually at when making characters. A lot of it is just batting jokes back and forth until they become something more solid, which I don't know that I really got across here.

Like, a lot a lot of my characters are built around a core joke. Usually what-ifs like.

"What if a shounen-type card game anime protagonist was just as brash and head-full-of-air as the rest of the, but a girl"

"What if Ed Sheeran had a cheating scandal with two tboys and it made the radio fucking horrible to listen to"

"What if a wrestler was really, really wide and also clearly into rubber"

"What if somebody took the 'blonde anime boy who barely shows emotion' trope seriously because that kind of repression can't be good"

"What if a guy was specifically interested in becoming a Soil Scientist from like, age 4, and never gave up that dream"

^ If you can figure out who's who then you win a prize (a kiss)

But yeah. Jokes upon jokes upon jokes. Assign them classpects and pokemon and put them into speed/power/fly formation and just joke for as long as you possibly can until you hit on something. And if a joke feels really right, or completely off the mark, try and dig in and find why.

Like. I joke about the sexuality thing but it does help since it's so disarming and immediately a bit childishly funny often. Sometimes you'll end up with say, something as serious as "Despite being friends with The Fence, Selene probably shouldn't be left unsupurvised in kink spaces because she ABSOLUTELY does not have the ability to restrain herself and not take her anger issues out on strangers" and sometimes its as silly as "even outside of being asexual, ess is never jackin that shit because if he got caught in any kind of mildly embarrasing scenario it'd ruin his whole year so the cost/benefit analysis of that really doesn't work out"

Because like. both tell you about the characters, and you can also read them more broadly now. Selene ruins relationships by letting anger at unrelated things get in the way, Ess keeps himself from doing even utterly harmless things out of deep social anxiety.

Like yeah, i got to them via goofing about sex but it's still character analysis at the end of the day so long as you put The Reading first*

*DISCLAIMER: im asexual im only ever doing stuff for the read lol . it might be more difficult if youre allosexual . or maybe itll be easier. i dont know just dont get too lost in the sauce. think with ur brain not ur other parts

ALSO gender and sexualty often end up linked so it makes sense to end up at one from the other a lot of the time. It happens.

And as an addendum if you wonder where i tend to literally Design characters? Like visually? It's usually at some point between the first few jokes and before naming them. Though sometimes names come first.

OVERALL: A character should have a core concept to them to start with. This core concept CAN SUCK and be flimsy, or a joke, or even a joke you no longer find funny. But you can always refer back to it when building a character up. If you want to capture the concept, work toward it, if you want to deconstruct or mock the concept, then do that instead. If you sour on a joke, maybe find a way to satirise or deconstruct what you're no longer finding funny.

Sometimes this core concept is steeped in a specific cultural thing, be it race, gender, sexuality, ect, and those necessitate thinking about. Sometimes it's not and those things can practically be an afterthought, but once you lock it in it's likely to begin informing the later choices as it becomes part of the scaffolding.

(To hop back to why you even asked this Q: I so thoroughly read Siffrin as amab BECAUSE they had so many themes about Not Having Changed and clinging to what they knew, and so working backwards from that it only made sense to me that they mustn't've done a big overhaul YET or made any big decisions about that YET by the time we see them in game, because that's what gels best with their themes of being Too Afraid To Change and being a contrast to Isa who has changed a bunch, and a comfort to Mira who hasn't changed at all in their gender. Then it was a case of looking through the game for more evidence either for or against this reading, and I found a lot of evidence for it, in my opinion. But I did so Because I noticed that the themes were Stronger if read this way, and because I conceptualise characters as themes and concepts FIRST it made sense to try and work back to those themes.)

But yeah. TL;DR:

Ground yourself with a Hook for the character, sometimes making it sillier makes it easier to think about.

Try and think about how they would be formed by the world around them, or what their behaviour says about how they must've been formed

Don't worry about things taking a long time. Sometimes a character needs someone else to make a suggestion, or for you to grow and change a little before they click

Putting it into action helps a lot, even if its just roleplay or short snippets. If you can't 'feel out' what a character would do in a situation, that's when it's time to think about their goals for how they want to be seen as a person (including, if they don't want to be seen at all...!) and what hard boundaries they have say, morally.

I am by no means a like. Expert on any of this. I'm fumbling through it all just as much as the next guy (AND... I'M ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT OF A HYPOCRITE. I THINK CHARACTERS ARE BEST SEEN AS 'NARRATIVE CONSTRUCTS' RATHER THAN 'PEOPLE', SO ALL THIS ADVICE BEING SO CHARACTER FOCUSED RATHER THAN NARRATIVE FOCUSED IS MISSING THE FOREST FOR THE TREES LOL....) but apparently people do Like my characters? So, what do I know i suppose LMAO

[sighs-deeply-and-dreadfully]

HI SO HI UHMM I'm gonna try making this as non-weird and as short as I can even though I don't even know how to explain this rn-

Could I request hcs of Eddie and frank (together not separately poh) with a gn! reader that reminds them of a child kinda-?? SO TO PUT IT INTO WORDS UHH the reader is kinda child-ish and curious (like a child ofc😋) and a lot of the neighbors say that they're like a baby put in a /pos way! So technically the reader is frank and eddies non-biological child

Honestly- I imagine they got that one backpack with a leash for children for the reader or smth since the reader strays off a lot😭

Tinkyu 4 reading this and even acknowledging this even if I made some stuff non-understandable!!! This totally isnt that cute person that requested 4 astronomer reader (TOTALLY totally it isn't obvious right??) /j

KEEP SLAYING PO LABYU /PLATONIC

I just realized I made this so long i am sorey😢😔

WAHAHHA!! HELLO AGAIN HOSHI!! Love you too!!! /p

Hehehe.. found family… froths at the mouth, pacing in circles in my enclosure /lhj /pos

I am absolutely happy to write for this, and I don’t find it weird at all! No worries! Although I may use different wording at times :] /g /nm

Scampering, Scuttling

Frank Frankly/Eddie Dear x GN!Childish!Reader

Headcanons Format, All Relations with the Reader are Platonic (Frank and Eddie, however, are in a romantic relationship!)

When you first moved into the neighbourhood, your affinity for curiosity and lack of self-preservation quickly landed you onto Frank Frankly’s radar.

From scrapes knees to splintered hands, being stung by a bee, or getting stranded in a tree— your curiosity led you to many troubling situations. All of which Frank would march up to aid you out of with gentle lecturing.

“Neighbour, I am aware I told you of Bumble bees being one of the friendliest types of bees, but that does not mean grab them??”

You leave him in a confused mess of how you even end up in half of the situations you do. He ends up ranting (lovingly) about this to his darling partner, Eddie Dear.

“Oh-! The new neighbour? I didn’t know you two we’re friends.” He’d happily chirp to Frank, who was coddled up by his side.

“We are, yes! But they’re— like- agh-! Like an overexcited puppy!! I found them trying to pick up a centipede today!! A centipede!”

Do not be mistaken, Frank only raves because he cares! His extravagant expression of concern is how he shows he cares, along with picking you up after you fell into a river and drenched yourself. He isn’t truly angry! Just worried BAHA

“Awhah! I’m sure it isn’t too bad, butterfly.” Eddie would laugh cheerily, giving his partner’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe you could introduce me to them? Maybe I can help.”

And this, my dear reader, was how you got properly introduced to Eddie Dear.

To help you explore a bit (in a safer way than running through the surrounding forest), Eddie would take you on his paper runs— introducing you to all the neighbours.

Sometimes, he’d hold your hand on these runs— mainly just to get you to follow! He had quickly discovered you had a tendency to wobble off wherever you pleased, though you didn’t seem to realize half the time— leading to a few stumbles apologies when you eventually found him again. So, his solution was just to gently hold your hand as you two went on the routes!

.. He’d then buy you a treat from Howdy’s afterwards. He enjoys spoiling people!! But, ah, sugar rushes.

“.. Why would you let them eat so much chocolate?” Frank would ask, raising a brow as you ricocheted off the walls nearby.

“..They looked really happy about it.” He’d reply, with a nervous smile— soon laughing a bit at Frank’s soft sigh and playful eye roll.

“If they end up in a hole, it’s your fault, sweetheart.”

“That’s fine-!!”

Overall, it didn’t take the two long to start behaving somewhat parent-like towards you, more than they already had.

Frank would check you over for injures and plaster you in bug-themed bandaids, along with reading you “stories” from his books (and sometimes an actual story book).

He was a lot more reserved than Eddie, leading to most activities done with him being rather tame ones.

.. you could sometimes chase him around, though. Which, albeit he wouldn’t admit it, he does find fun in. Kind of like how people go to haunted houses for fun; he gets hunted in a house. /lhj

Eddie, meanwhile, would play with you a lot! He’d take you on walks of the town, and help you explore the place in a way that doesn’t have Frank screaming in worry at the end of the day.

He’s the classic “wanna play catch?” kind of person, to be honest, leading to a lot of playing ball and running around.

Both of them care about you very much! But still respect the fact you, very much, aren’t a genuine child and respect you like a friend. Because you are! You’re their friend!

But to say they don’t fret over you like parents would be a lie. BAHA!!

GWAAH this was so fun to write!! I’m sorry if it’s kind of short, though-!! But I still hope it was enjoyable :] I love writing for Eddie and Frank fhehrfnfnw froths at the mouth i love them. squeezes them both like those stress toys that have the eyes pop out /aff

[lily-alphonse]

what if... shane and mr. qi

Bro what 😭 I know absolutely nothing about Mr. Qi. BUT I have like 2 or 3 more asks with him in it so it looks like Im gonna have to build a characterization for him real quick lol. I love him though. Love a weird little cryptid man and the fanart is so good.

What interest would he have in Shane I wonder? Maybe it's an AU where Shane is the one to take over the farm and everything so he's secretly special. OR... Mr. Qi just enjoys watching a dumpsterfire. There's no TLC in Stardew Valley so what better reality TV content than to watch the town drunk? Maybe even make things a little worse for him sometimes just for funsies.

You know how in the Sims, if you have an unlucky Sim they can cheat death because Grim either pities or is amused by their shenanigans? That's the dynamic I think. Shane is so unlucky that Qi finds him endearing over time.

Qi would start to leave notes for him, trying to send him on adventures or test him. Shane would have none of it, crumbling the weird notes and suspecting someone was playing some kind of prank on him. Qi gets annoyed about it. Enough to even reveal himself, but he picks (what may or may not be) the best time because Shane is so drunk he doesn't even care.

Mr. Qi almost blends into the darkness by the dock, except his cape shimmers with moonlight and catches Shane's eye. He approaches him when he's discovered.

"Shane," he says in greeting.

It makes Shane wonder if he knows him. Then he wonders if he should be worried about this random shady character approaching him. But he also looks kinda silly, a wide hat and sunglasses obscuring his face, and the most obvious answer is that he’s finally snapped.

Shane narrows his eyes at him, trying to decide what to name this odd figment of his imagination. "Mr..." he starts, and Mr. Qi is almost ready to be impressed until Shane settles on "Hat."

Qi isn't sure whether to laugh or disappear in a rage.

A sort of scoff comes out instead and he sits next to him on the dock. 

"Where did you come from?" Shane asks.

"I come from everywhere." 

"Figures," Shane mumbles into his beer can. He downs another drink. "You're not gonna be some kind of like... conscious that talks in riddles or something are you?"

It feels appropriate, almost making them equals, for Shane to see him as an imaginary friend. It makes up for the way Qi had started to see him as a pet. 

"Not a conscious, though I might speak in riddles occasionally."

“Dammit. Tracks I guess. Can never make sense of any of the shit up here,” he mumbles, gesturing to his head.

Qi had been planning to ask him about the notes, maybe even scare him a little. But here he was being handed the golden opportunity to see into Shane’s mind, and that was even better.

Actually, being an unknown, an enigma, had always been the goal. Short of that,he was forced to keep a carefully curated reputation of mystery, which was not at all the same. Meeting in this way turned out to be a blessing.

“Why do you think you’ve summoned me here?”

“I'm drunk.”

“I can see that.”

“I dunno, I'm pathetically lonely," he says with an exasperated sigh, "Obviously.”

Qi feels a twinge of something unnameable at that, though it's still pretty amusing. He likes the blunt way Shane speaks, especially when he puts himself down, its pure dark-comedy gold. It feels different when directed at him personally though. Like some long-dormant human urge within him makes his heart ache to match Shane’s.

“Are you?” he asks simply.

"D'you have eyes under there?" Shane slurs, looking at him more closely.

"Would you have made me without eyes?"

"Good point. The fuck are we talking about? Who are you?"

"Mr. Hat, apparently."

"Right."

Anyway, they continue to meet like this, with Mr. Qi as his supposed imaginary friend, and Mr. Qi begins to genuinely enjoy the connection they have because no one has ever treated him like this. Everyone he meets is intimidated by him, afraid of him, or looking to screw him over. And beyond that, when he was younger and more human, it was always people wanting to know him. Always so many questions.

His goal was always to be unknown.

He gets that with Shane, under the pretext that he does not exist. It’s freeing, and paradoxically allows him to open up. Any perceived oddity about him only gets turned into a reflection on the darkness in Shane’s mind. In this way, Shane might know him in a deeper sense than anyone else has in a long time. Plus, Qi doesn’t laugh this much with anyone else.  

Shane wants to be unknown too, in his own way. But he starts to hate himself a little less, after these late night talks to ‘himself’. Weirdly he starts drinking less and the hallucination stays. 

I think there would be quite a dramatic falling out when he finds out the truth, but in a way, Shane would also be relieved that this was a real person he could potentially be with.

This ask is a part of the (now closed) SDV Rarepair Challenge! Check out the other answers here, and make sure to boost your favorite so it can appear in the final fic poll! More info on that here.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

You have awakened a hyperfixation that has been long dormant. It requires Natsu headcannons for nutrition (please, and thank you very much kind person)

Ah but of course. Would I even be Phoenix if I couldn't even oblige a comrade with Natsu headcanons

Always has something flammable on him. Packs of matches, lighters in his pockets, sparklers in his bags, etc. He's always gotta have something on him for snacking purposes when he's traveling. This also, incidentally, is a reason why no one likes having him near their kitchens because they know he's gonna swipe their matches/lighters.

Doesn't like reading much despite how much he loves stories. He gets why other people like it but it's just not for him. There's just not enough in there to catch his whole attention. He'd much rather listen to someone narrating a story to him than try to force himself to read it. This is the basis of how Natsu and Levy started hanging out as kids, she'd read some of her books aloud and he was her most avid listener.

Is unintentionally snobby towards other fire wizards. He's not even doing it on purpose! It's just if you use fire magic within his vicinity he will judge the quality of the flames, heat intensity, overall control, etc. It's even worse if he eats it and doesn't like it.

A lot more reliant on his senses compared to the other slayers, especially his sense of smell. Every new thing he encounters has to pass a sniff test first. He does this with people too but tries to not let it be too obvious (kept gettin too many complaints but he doesn't always remember). Flip side though is that he can get easily overwhelmed by smells that are too strong :(

Adrenaline junkie. Much to the annoyance of his friends. If he doesn't do anything that'll guarantee him a head rush he'll explode.

Absolutely despises anything touching his neck that isn't his scarf. He hates anything that touches his neck (and by proxy, the scar on it). It is an absolute no no zone for for anyone or anything to touch.

People fucking hate fighting him because he is all over the damn place. He's slippery, he keeps dropping to all fours like some freak. Can't let him get too close cause he bit someone a few minutes and they dunno if he's willing to sink his teeth into another person. Plus there's something in his eyes that makes people uncomfortable cause no one should look that excited while bleeding and fending off a hoard of bad guys.(In a normal sanctioned fight like GMG or something official he will not bite, he can hold back for that. Outside fights he's playing by his own rules though)

Started his collection of souvenirs from each mission as a way to tell Igneel about everything he's done over the year while he was gone. Stopped a lil bit after Igneel's passing but picked it back up again down the line. Maybe not as meticulous about it as before but it's a hobby he still keeps up.

Ambidextrous but favours his right for a lot of things. Still doesn't get why it's a big deal to people that he is tbh.

He could literally watch Happy stab someone but would still defend Happy without question and with his last breath. 'Oh? My lil buddy stabbed you? Well what'd you do to piss him off huh? He wouldn't do that just cause. Obviously you did something that made him defend himself! What were you tryna do to him huh?!' It's why Happy's so smug, he knows he can get away with almost anything cause of Natsu.

Had severe Tony Hawk syndrome before GMG and his face got known enough for people to finally be able to put a face with his nickname 'Salamander', which honestly he kinda misses. Sure free stuff is nice, and meeting new people but he could do without people always hounding him sometimes :/

Does not know how to tie shoelaces and never will. You can't make him.