#This could

[blu3haw4]

Lexa has been very naughty this year. Instead of coal in her stocking, she wants Clarke to fill it up with something else 😏

Listen. I almost didn't write this one... and now is kind of my favorite one 🤭

For Day 2: Naughty or Nice List

Mature. G!P Clarke. Cracky and ... cute? more than smutty. It's so unserious though 😆

Soooo, what am I getting for Christmas, santa?" Lexa jokes, she toys with the white pompom of Clarke's Santa hat still placed over her head even after all four rounds they just got down to.

Clarke snorts, shaking her head as she looks down at her "You've been so naughty this year"

They giggle, Clarke running her hand on Lexa's side with the hand not currently holding her own head.

"Your stocking are going to be full of coal" she huffs as Lexa, laying on her back beside her keeps playing with the pompom of her had

"What!? No! That's not fair!"

"Just yesterday you sent me a nude while i was having lunch with my dad!" Clarke yelps.

"You said you were in the car!"

"With him!"

"That was an accident!'" Lexa huff, and continues playing with the pompom "All my past naughtiness, if i recall correctly, you've throughoutfully enjoyed"

"You've still been naughty" Clarke rolls her eyes playfully "And people on the naughty list only get coal" she fake frowns, and then really frowns "Specially if you call me Santa, please don't fucking call me Santa again"

Lexa laughs with an eyeroll of her own "I think I've done plenty of nice things for you, miss. Haven't I?"

"Mmmh, maybe" Clarke can't help but smile

"Maybe my stockings could be filled with something else"

"See! Naughty!" Clarke laughs as Lexa's smirks turns into a grin.

"Oh I am merely trying to be nice, only for your benefit really"

"Oh my benefit? How so?"

"Well your balls should alway have a safe place to be relieved, shouldn't they?" Lexa tries her best at a serious face and fails spectacularly when a giggle escapes her.

"Ohhh, i see" Clarke laughs and leans down to kiss her, slowly but surely moving and laying on top of Lexa

"You want me to fill you?"

"Yess, my love"

"You do, baby?"

"Mmm, always."

//

Mmm, let's see what might be in this one" Lexa says softly shaking the gift box in her hands.

Is Christmas morning and they're laying on the floor of their apartment beside their tree.

She smiles at Clarke until she hears the rocking of the items inside the box and her smile drops as she shakes the box again, more strongly.

"Is this-...? Clarke did you seriously got me coal?"

"What did you expect? You've been a very naughty girl, Lexa" Clarke says with a small smile.

"Clarke, i swear to fucking-" she shakes the box forcefully glaring at Clarke until she interrupts her.

"Why don't you open it, hun? It's very very nice coal"

"If you-"

"Open it" Lexa huffs, but complies, glaring at Clarke all the way to make sure she knew how terrible it would be for her, if she had decided to get Lexa actual coal.

At first glace, they did look like coal.

At second glance though? The box had scattered around an array and variety of plugs, bullets and small dildos. All black, some shiny, so mate, some sparky and some with purple or blue shades as well.

Lexa's eyebrows lifted in surprise as her mouth fell sightly open, slowly a smile started to grow as she could help little giggle and gasp that she let out.

"What...? Clarke!" She turned to laugh at a grinning Clarke, still very casually leaning against the foot of the couch

"You deserved all that coal for how naughty you've been"

Still laughing Lexa crawls forward to straddle Clarke and kiss her "You just got me like 15 different sex toys" she laughs between kisses as Clarke just smiles at her

"To be fair i had already bought some of them... I just replaced them for black ones"

"I love you"

"I love you. And we should be trying all of them today" Clarke smirks at her

"Clarke! No!"

"But it's going to be fun!"

"There's a butt plug that's the size of my fist! We're not trying that today!" Clarke merely laughs and looks up with a little shrug.

"Clarke I mean it. No. No as in Rudolf no"

Laughing hard Clarke throws her head back "Okay, the best thing we've ever done is make our safe word Rudolf" Lexa laughs with her, and still cupping her face leans in for another kiss.

[nudityandnerdery]

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

Edit! It's been blazed by now. Thank you, though!

[victusinveritas]

By the way, It Could Happen Here and Behind the Bastards are great podcasts by Robert Evans and friends.

[skulandcrossbones]

it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[beaft]

me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:

[apollos-boyfriend]

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

[beholdthemem]

My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[noodles-and-tea]

Last one from the archives

[sparklebyte]

oh so you’re telling me the guy had a 3 page handwritten explanation of his motives and mindset and a gun and silencer that matches the description despite it being a week since the guy was shot? hmmmm interesting

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

I was inspired

[bigskycastle]

school project, some drawings for my pretend game about a housefly girl called musca and her adventures in some creepy&wet place

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[bookwyrminspiration]

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait